Outlook Student Press - Vol. 43 Issue 5

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utLook STUDENT PRESS Vol. 43 Issue 5 October 11, 2010 Outlookpress.org

NEWS 3 Mark Svensson / Special to Outlook Student Press

“Between the food, the music, and the culture, it really brought people together.” Isaac Spilman, Hillel President

Rain or shine, Hillel at RCC celebrates Sukkot with music and food.

Alumnus at White House Summit White House invites recent RCC grad to Community College Summit Current students participate in White House conference call

STYLE 7 “Rejection happens. For those of you who believe otherwise, life is not one of those over-done love stories.”

Krystal Macharie, Student

How to face rejection and embrace the reality of moving on.

Josh Blachorsky news editor

At the first ever White House Summit on Community Colleges, Mark Svensson, RCC ‘10, was one of only seven community college students in attendance amongst a group including President Obama, Vice President Joseph Biden, and Melinda Gates of the Gates Foundation. “I attribute my success and the opportunity to go to this summit to RCC,” said Svensson (pictured wearing glasses, directly to the

right of Vice President Biden). He called the summit “memorable.” The summit, headlined by President Barack Obama and Second Lady Jill Biden, discussed the importance and achievements of community colleges. The White House summit included students, leaders in education, and many high profile graduates of community colleges, such as former Congressman and current Secretary of Transportation Ray Lahood. The summit followed a nationwide conference call President Obama held with

select college students, including students from Outlook Student Press, on Sept. 27, during which President Obama outlined his goals for educational progress. “We have fallen behind,” President Obama said during his call. “In a single generation we’ve fallen from first to twelfth in college graduation rates for young adults.” Touting reforms and laws to reverse this decline that have passed since his inauguration, President Obama in his call praised the programs and initiatives that he has begun,

including limiting student debt, giving tax incentives to students, and extending health insurance. The summit built on the discussion from the conference call, focusing on how community colleges are central to improving educational access. “With almost 50 percent of undergraduates attending community colleges, the summit was a step in the right direction to give those colleges the attention that they deserve,” Svensson said. SEE SUMMIT PAGE 3

Katherine O’Neill

OPINION 10 “Coming out is a terrifying experience, and even in today’s society there exists a fear of being harassed and being picked on for being gay.” Elliot Lerman, Student

“Gay” should not be a loaded word.

contributing writer

Dozens of faculty and staff gathered for the Water Justice Alliance’s recent screening of “Flow,” an eye-opening documentary detailing the uses and abuses of water around the world. The documentary depicted nations throughout the world suffering from the lack of clean drinking water. The movie showcased deprived regions such as Bolivia, South Africa, and India, among others. The Water Justice Alliance, formed last spring and now with

chapters at several other twoand four-year colleges, has set ambitious goals for itself. As part of an effort to relieve some of the destruction, they hope to fund a well in Pakistan in response to the nation’s recent, devastating floods. Another goal for this year, is to raise $5000 this fall, which will go toward donating purification systems that can provide more than 50,000 gallons of drinking water. Co-Chairs Marvin Mathew, Stan Morodohkin, Kuldip Singh, Ali Rizvi, and Kennedy Ogoye presented the documentary in order to create a visual for the SEE WJA PAGE 3

Michelle Giff / Outlook Student Press

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October 11, 2010 >> WJA CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 devastation that lack of clean drinking water creates for a country. “Through our efforts we hope to raise awareness on the issue of the lack of clean drinking water,” WJA co-chair Stan Morodohkin said. “We hope to expose the RCC campus to the reality of this issue

and get students and faculty on board so we can battle this effectively.” In modern times, water has become more of a business than a necessity, with the richer, more developed countries winning the battle thus far, the documentary noted. The documentary, referring to the water and bottling industry as the “immoral” industry, noted that supplying water

is worth $400 billion, the third richest industry in the world, behind electricity and oil. “It is a good cause if we can raise awareness that people are struggling to get basic needs such as water. If you’re struggling to get basic needs, there is no way you’ll lead a normal life,” Co-Chair Kennedy Ogoye said about the efforts of

the Alliance. Currently, the WJA is accepting personal donations as well as selling bracelets to help meet their fund-raising aspirations. If the WJA’s efforts prove to be successful, it will serve as a model for the sixty-four colleges that make up the SUNY Assembly.

Rainy Day Doesn’t Stop Sukkot Celebration

Ian Mauro / Outlook Student Press

Students gather inside to celebrate Jewish holiday

Rabbi Dov Oliver explains the lulav (above); the Mosche Hect band performs (below).

Anjelica Pagnozzi & Julie Hirsh Contributing Writers

semester Hillel member Megan Tabok. “People from last semester and the year before came and really enjoyed it.” During Sukkot, also known as the festival of happiness, observant Jews will not eat any serious meals outside the Sukkah, and many choose to do everyday activities such as reading and sleeping inside the Sukkah. Additionally, those who observe the holiday recite blessings and shake a

special palm branch and citron specified in the Bible. “Between the food, the music, and the culture, it really brought people together,” said Hillel President Isaac Spilman. During the party, Rabbi Dov Oliver, the rabbi of the Hillel at RCC, went around with a palm branch and citron, enabling many students who ordinarily wouldn’t have had the opportunity to do so, to recite the blessing

According to Whitehouse.gov, Dr. Jill Biden, a community college professor herself, made mention of the cost factor in her opening address of the White House Summit. “Community colleges are increasingly important in getting Americans back to work and overcoming the current challenges, to help us lead again,” Biden said. Svensson, who now attends Georgetown University in Washington, D.C., echoed many of these sentiments. He was invited

to the Summit by the White House after being nominated by Dr. Rod Risley, the head of Phi Theta Kappa. He felt that the conference was a success, but that the issues raised need to be addressed more than once. “I admire the President for his work,” Svensson said. “There were a lot of good ideas being thrown around, but I feel there needs to be a follow up.” Svensson also felt that more collaboration between community colleges and four-year-universities was

needed. “RCC and Cornell University have a solid agreement going, there should be more like this across the country,” Svensson stated. Svensson may get his wish, as Secretary of Education Arne Duncan, recently announced plans for a virtual summit on community colleges next year, as well. “It’s really cool that he’s reaching out to students like this,” remarked student Shlomo Goldsmith.

Ian Mauro / Outlook Student Press

This year’s Sukkot party and concert, sponsored by the Hillel of SUNY Rockland, included a performance by a Jewish band and featured plenty of food. About 100 students attended the Hillel gathering. To entertain the partygoers, indie-rocker Moshe Hecht performed

traditional Jewish music and some of his own songs. There was also kosher pizza, falafel balls, and pastries. The Sept. 28 party was in honor of the Jewish holiday of Sukkot, which started the night of Sept. 22 and lasted through Oct. 1. Due to inclement weather, it was not held in the Sukkah (ritual hut) that Hillel had built on campus, but was held in the Student Union instead. “Everyone really enjoyed it,” said third

>> SUMMIT CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 The lower cost of community college tuition as compared to other colleges and universities, was a major discussion point at the summit. The point about college costs also came up during the conference call, when the President fielded questions from student journalists from around the country on issues of importance to them, like student loans and federal subsidies to state universities.


October 11, 2010

Writing Center Opens Doors to All Students

Ian Mauro / Outlook Student Press

The center provides tutoring for almost all pieces of writing

Josh Blachorsky

News Editor

The Writing Center, Rockland Community College’s go-to place for writing help, has re-opened for the fall semester with a new director at its helm. Dr. Katie Lynch, a new professor at RCC, will be heading the Center, located in room 8349 in the Technology Building, and managing its operations. The Writing Center “exists to support RCC students with their writing tasks,” says Dr. Lynch, who comes to RCC from the University of Wisconsin and Dartmouth. Oftentimes students have trouble with

their writing, and do not feel comfortable asking their professors or friends for help, leaving them in a tough situation. The Writing Center’s purpose is to give those students a place to go. The Center is prepared to help with all forms of writing. From ESL students working on assignments to those working on transfer essays for Ivy League universities, the Center is ready to help every student. The Center is staffed by faculty and about 30 student tutors, many of whom are in the MT/S honors program. These tutors went through training sessions and seminars. In addition to the student tutors, a faculty member is present at all times to help both the tutors and

Professor Katie Lynch discusses tutoring techniques with Professor Stephen Burke.

students with their respective tasks. “I love Dr. Lynch,” remarked freshman tutor Rebecca Gross. “Her unique blend of professionalism and charisma makes the Center a great place to work as well as relax.” In most instances, there is usually a tutor available to help a student proofread an essay, as well as create outlines for those who come into the center unsure of how to begin a research topic. “Coming to the Writing Center helps to make all students more versatile and confident writers,” said Dr. Lynch. “Every type of student should feel comfortable coming into the Center. While working on my dissertation [at the University of Wisconsin-Madison], I often made use of

the Writing Center,” she added. Students can drop in or schedule an appointment for one-on-one sessions, but since the Center is often very busy, Dr. Lynch advises scheduling an appointment.

Ian Mauro / Outlook Student Press

Professor Debra Tietze reviews ideas with Russell Cardazone in the Writing Center.

Film Makers From Across County Display Their Work Despite lack of student turn-out festival was success Ian Mauro

Photo Editor

On Sunday, Oct. 3 Rockland Film Makers Screenings were held in the Cultural Arts Theater. Appearances were made by: Over Under Productions, the Rubber Dagger Films “Delilah Rose” cast, and other budding Indie film makers. Out of the films shown, three were entirely shot in Rockland County by Rockland natives, Robert Ryan, Ric Pantale and Peter O’Brien. The Rockland Film Makers Screenings, held at the college, showcases everything from music videos, documentaries or even feature length films, providing feedback and exposure for the artists. It also facilitates interaction among a film community otherwise unlikely to meet. The Rivertown Film Society establishes a social and professional network that allows Rockland film makers to have some

mobility, which also allows RCC media students to utilize a huge resource. Along with the screenings, Rivertown hosts a variety of festivals and seminars to try to accomplish the same type of networking and education specifically for students. Filled with mainly guests of the presenters, the cultural arts building housed all the actors, technicians, and producers necessary to get an idea off the ground. However there was a surprising absence of students. The Over Under Production founders Kelsy Chauvin and Lauren LoGiudice sat down to try to inspire actors of becoming more involved, targeting young actresses that might be intimidated by the job field. They provided a piece from their nonprofit studio which used actors from the county while also promoting their new project “Reality Check.” “Rocklands gotta lot of talent,” says Mercedes Kent, star of Pantale’s new movie.

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Ian Mauro / Outlook Student Press


October 11, 2010

Need to Get Away? Try the Tristate Area Step away from your books & check out these hot spots Elizabeth Maze

Contributing Writer

After a week of long lectures, textbook lugging, and confusing homework assignments, the weekend finally arrives, offering the promise of sleeping in and hanging out. Instead of the usual activities that we so often occupy ourselves with, maybe it’s time for a change of pace, with a nice weekend outing to some new destinations. If you’re looking to catch up on exercise but don’t want to run in a stuffy gym, take a jog around Rockland Lake

State Park, located near Congers. The Park trail, which wraps around the lake, allows joggers to proceed with their exercise while enjoying a beautiful, scenic view of the lake. In addition to a walking path, you can also bring your bicycle and peddle through this quaint park. With its structured design and easy to navigate floors, the Garden State Mall is one of the best, and most underrated, shopping centers. The lack of sales tax on clothing in New Jersey is a sure fire way to save money when you’re balancing your budget. With stores that the Palisades Mall

doesn’t offer, the Garden State Mall is the best destination for shoppers on a mission. With fashionable chains like Urban Outfitters, American Apparel, and Free People, it is impossible to not find whatever you are looking for. As the weather grows cooler and the fall sets in, maybe it’s time for that nature adventure you’ve been putting off. With a short drive to Bear Mountain, you gain access to the beautiful vistas and rugged terrain that New York State has to offer. Even the most inexperienced hikers can maneuver their way through the new Appalachian Trail that opened earlier this year. With its hand-laid granite stairs to the

top, any amateur hiker can easily navigate their way up the top of the mountain and enjoy the magnificent view of turning foliage in the vast valleys below. The Bear Mountain Zoo also offers visitors a chance to see local animals after their expedition through the mountains. With its stunning landscapes and easy access, the trip to Bear Mountain is one worth making. Now that fall is in the air, it’s time to pick up your bags and head to a new and exciting weekend getaway. With all that the tri-state area has to offer, the list just keeps on growing—and so do the memorable experiences.

The Most Irrelevant and Useless Stores in the Palisades Mall Nicole Arzoomanian

Contributing Writer

The Palisades Center Mall was an extremely popular attraction when it first opened in March of 1998. Twelve years later, it is still busy, with shoppers coming from all over the tri-state area. On weekends, it is nearly impossible to find a parking spot. With four floors, it is the second largest mall in the country. A mall that massive must have a plethora of chic stores, right? Sadly, the answer to this question is no. And so I have decided to take it upon myself to detail some of the very worst stores in The Palisades Center. JESSICA MCLINTOCK is the first store that every eighth grader runs to when

homecoming rolls around. The first dress you see is short, cute and frilly. However, as you look around the store, each dress is a variation of the one before it. The first dress is hot pink with ruffles, going to mid-thigh. The second dress you see is in a lighter pink and a few inches shorter because every tween loves to show skin. These dresses are inappropriately short and are made of polyester, which makes them look overly shiny and definitely results in extreme perspiration. Everywhere you turn you can see, ruffles, lace and dresses without straps that are cheap looking. ROBOT GALAXY is yet another ridiculous store in the enormous mall. Whoever designed this store must have attempted to make the entire storefront

look futuristic and appealing, but hardly anyone ever walks in there. It makes sense though, when they’re asking $60 for a toy robot that will surely break if a six-year-old boy plays roughly with it. There are tons of different useless robots that just sit in Robot Galaxy and collect dust in the store because it always seems to be as vacant as a ghost town. Overpriced and futile, this store is just taking up space. It is surprising that it has even survived this long. There is also a store dedicated completely to LEGO. It is filled with the useless tiny bricks that can be transformed into little houses or people. No matter how entertaining children find Lego’s, there is no need to have a whole store just for these trinkets. Lego’s

are carried by larger toy stores, such as Toys ‘R Us. BACK STAGE, a clothing store located on the fourth floor, is exactly where the cast of the “Jersey Shore” would have a field day. Jam packed with overpriced Ed Hardy attire and mesh clothes, this store is for people who dream of fist pumping with Snooki and the Situation. The dresses are skimpy, the jeans are expensive, and literally every article of clothing is bejeweled. Although some people wish they could live in Seaside, the majority prefers classier establishments to buy clothes from. Even though the Palisades Center Mall is massive, the selection of stores is impractical. It’s easy to walk around for a solid fifteen minutes before finding a store worthy of browsing through.


October 11, 2010

Operation | Pancakes Brianna Robinson

Contributing Writer

I love pancakes. I’ve loved them ever since I was little, my mom would make me Bisquick pancakes every morning with Mrs. Butterworth syrup. It is this love that has sent me on a mission to scope out a few breakfast places around the Tri-state area. Here are my findings: Rosie’s Coffee Shop (41 S Route 9W, West Haverstraw, NY)

Lulu’s Café (726 West Nyack Rd. West Nyack, New York)

This little coffee shop is right off the main road wedged between Stop and Shop and Carvel. The portion sizes are reasonable and even have powdered sugar sprinkled over the pancakes, a definite must. The staff is friendly and accommodating, and the shop itself is clean and bright. A major plus is that it isn’t expensive, so if you were looking for a delicious, cheap breakfast, Rosie’s is the place to go.

This place had to be the quaintest of them all. Inside, the café is built with a country kitchen feel with white cabinets, blue seats and cute tablecloths. The mismatched plates and cups gives an open-air feeling, which can maje you feel much more relaxed as you eat. The menu was healthy, almost every dish came with some kind of fruit and the prices weren’t sky high. I am without a doubt visiting this place again.

Country Pancake House (140 E Ridgewood Ave, Ridgewood, NJ)

Strawberry Place (2 S Broadway, Nyack, NY) Strawberry Place is another one of those restaurants that I’d advise arriving early to because after a certain time in the morning, people just keep coming. If they gave out awards for best pancakes, Strawberry Place would definitely win for their interesting flavor combinations. For example, their peanut butter chocolate chip pancakes have a unique, yet delectable taste. Also the menu has a big selection for people who are trying to eat healthy. The portions weren’t skimpy and the prices were fair, I strongly recommend this place.

J & B Luncheonette (198 Rte 9W, Haverstraw, NY) This place has that American diner feel that every great town should posess. The place is always full and bustling; it’s small so you may have to wait for a seat plus there’s always an aroma of bacon and syrup. J & B’s is very similar to Rosie’s, so if you like one you will certainly like the other.

This place is the mother of all breakfast restaurants. It serves the largest pancakes, so it goes without saying that the portions are more than generous. They also have over one hundred pancake combinations. They serve chocolate chip cornbread before your meal. This is one place you can’t miss out on; the food is great and you’ll probably have leftovers for days. So go forth and enjoy but don’t forget to bring cash because the one downside is that they don’t accept credit cards.

Search for Transcendence in Contemporary Art Sarra Schwarz

Staff Writer

Walking into most contemporary art exhibits is like stepping into a whole new world, one in which the laws of physics and nature are upturned in the most lively and vibrant of ways. The explanation of this odd phenomenon is simple—art serves as a vehicle for communication. It has always been a potent tool for discovery, knowledge, and even catharsis. Now this ability is being reinterpreted in more ambiguous and yet equally insightful ways by contemporary artists of every stripe. Yoko Ono is acclaimed for her prominent avantgarde art. Although many of her works are emotionally charged, arguably her most successful attempt at significance was the piece inspired by her forays into the world of conceptual and performance art. Simply titled “Cut Piece,” Ono’s artistic performance consisted of her kneeling on the floor wearing nothing but a thin overgarment. Audience members were then called up to “cut” and to slash away at her robe until she stood completely exposed. This decidedly off-beat presentation was supposed to represent human suffering, and the widespread feelings of loneliness and inner torment. This particular artistic presentation was undoubtedly powerful, and is still remembered as Ono’s greatest accomplishment next to breaking up the Beatles. Shepard Fairey is a more widely known artist who also embeds his work with meaning, although in a decidedly less controversial way. Shepard was originally part of the skateboarding scene, which is greatly

reflected in his youthful- looking art. The Institute of Contemporary Art called him “one of today’s best known and most influential street artists.” Commonly known for his “Obey Giant” campaign, he is also the creator of one of the most famous recent art works—an interesting modern rendering of President Barack Obama, entitled “Hope,” which became an almost ubiquitous representation of the president during his campaign. This was not Fairey’s first attempt at political significance. In 2004, he joined with other artists to create a series of “anti-war, anti-Bush” posters for a street art campaign called “Be the Revolution.” When it comes to artistic profundity, all conventions stop with Damien Hirst, a British artist who takes nonconformity to the absolute extreme. Often compared to Andy Warhol, this contemporary creator is most famous for the work quite philosophically named, “The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living.” The piece includes a large white tank containing a dead 14-foot tiger shark preserved in formaldehyde. He has since become famous for his works made up of dead animals, in addition to his other projects, many of which are focused on mortality and death. This is a running theme throughout Hirsts’ work that stems from working in a mortuary as a student. Although Hirst is not everyone’s cup of tea, he remains a fascinating artist and one of the most prominent examples of modern artistic individualism and communication. Ono, Fairey, and Hirst are all excellent examples of artists attempting to instill

their works with a sense of emotionality and contemplation. But their pieces are only a few drops of water in the pool of transcendental artwork, a genre that has spanned countless cultures and generations. Wherever there is creativity, there are creations that echo our deepest loves and fears. And wherever there is passion, there are those passionate enough to create art that mirrors our collective humanity.

Book Reviews

Style & Entertainment

October 11, 2010

“The Hunger Games” Brianna Robinson

Contributing Writer

The “Hunger Games” trilogy by Suzanne Collins has got everyone raving. Stephen King loves it, Stephenie Meyer couldn’t put it down, and it’s quickly becoming the new hottest book series. This science-fiction novel is set in a dystopian future in a country called “Panem,” which is similar to a futuristic version of a war-torn United States. Years ago, in the books, there was a huge war where all the districts rebelled against the government called the “Capitol,” and Panem, which was once thirteen districts, became twelve. As punishment for the districts’ rebellion, the Capitol devised the Hunger Games. In it, every district has to pick two contestants, a boy and girl, to fight to the death on public TV through a series of sporting events. The games are similar to outdoor sporting events, in the same vein as the Superbowl. Of course, not every district agrees with the game, especially District Twelve, which is where readers meet protagonist Katniss Everdeen. Katniss is a tough, brave young woman; she may be rough around the edges but you can’t help but fall in love with her. The Reaping is the day where the names of the contestants are drawn, and everyone gathers in town to hear the names called. Every year, the Districts are forced to watch their children get chosen for a battle that they

most likely will not return from. Through a string of events, Katniss is chosen to represent District Twelve. The next half of the book introduces the readers to the games. We are treated to a horrifying battle where children are slaughtering each other. The scenes are quite gruesome but at the same time, addicting to read about. Once you start, you cannot stop. By the end of the book, Katniss forms an alliance with two people, one of which ends up becoming a love interest. By the end, like many other great books, it will leave you wanting more. Luckily, the second novel is out and the third and final one was just released.

“Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk” Jesse Strauch

Style & Entertainment Editor

Have you ever wondered how much masturbation is too much masturbation? Or if you’re secretly into bestiality? Well if you’re like me at least, the first question applies, and the rest is just for poo poos and hahas. And comedy is exactly what the book “Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk” does in quite a splendid fashion. By just looking at the cover you know that this isn’t the typical sex book you would find in your high school’s health class. Instead of in-depth descriptions of how everything works down there, we get a picture of some mushrooms and a few Georgia O’Keeffe paintings. Needless to say, this book is not for the prudish sort, but if you know someone who is, this would be a great way to torture them! The book was written by the Association for the Betterment of Sex, or ABS, as they like to be called. This of course is a fictitious group, but it helps add to the shear ridiculousness of the book. In reality, the book was written by former Conan O’Brien and “Daily Show” writers. These writers have literally left no rock unturned or un-groped when it comes to sex and all its related acts. One of the better parts was the authors’ bios, which is also fictitious but extremely enjoyable. The pictures and diagrams really help seal the deal for the pure wackiness.

Not only is it funny, but the book also makes for a great reference for sexual remarks. I would find myself constantly referring to fictional information in the book and seeing how many people would actually believe me. For example, did you know that cavemen had four foot dongs that they would use as paddles on their primitive life rafts? The quizzes are also great and can keep you and your friends entertained for hours. I would suggest this book to anyone who is looking for a weird and bizarre coffee table book or anyone who still wants that middle school feeling of laughing at penis and vagina jokes. The price won’t break the bank either, with it costing about $12 on Amazon. So go forth and become uneducated with “Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk.”

One “Trip” to the Electric Zoo Festival 2010 Everything you could find at a zoo, minus the cages, plus the drugs Sari Ugell

Features Editor

Four stages. Massive speakers. LED screens. High-tech lights. The second annual Electric Zoo Festival, that took place Sept. 4 and 5, was nothing short of amazing. Two days, 12 hours of nonstop trance, techno, house, and dub-step music. Randall’s Island was filled with DJs from all over the world, pumping out beats while fans in crazy, bizarre outfits danced along to the music. With the weather at the height of perfection, it’s not surprising that 25,000 people each day came out to both sold out shows to listen to artists such as The Chemical Brothers, Armin van Buuren, Steve Aoki, Benny Benassi, and Bassnectar. I unfortunately couldn’t make the Saturday show, but that in no way neglected me from partying it up and dancing for 12 hours straight during the acts on Sunday’s show. From Laidback Luke to Boys Noize to A-Trak to Armin van Buuren, the crowds at every performance at each stage kept the energy alive. The music was hot and heavy, leaving your ears ringing for several days even after the festival was over. It’s impossible to write a review on a concert, especially Electric Zoo, without going into detail about the kind of people at the concert. First off, don’t even think about walking through the entrance of “The Zoo” without

fluorescent body suits, glittery wings or anything else that could make Lady Gaga’s outfits look even a little cool. The more estranged you look, the better. Performances of the Sunday’s show did everything but disappoint. Laidback Luke threw down stormers, and the crowd was eating it up. Bassnectar veered in and out of hip-hop with startling, unpredictable mixes so dense they threatened to implode.

A-Trak deployed electronics but also flaunted an older disc-jockey skill: virtuosic scratching. Steve Aoki was unstoppable with his buzz-saw lines and siren swoops and the crowd went absolutely crazy when he dropped his single “Warp.” And best of all was Armin van Buuren, who tore up the stage with singles from his new album “Mirage.” No matter what other zoo-crazed fans say, there’s no way

Saturday’s show could top the performances that left me irrevocably stunned. If you’re a music fan who can’t go a whole day without blasting house, techno or trance through your headphones and you have never heard of the Electric Zoo Festival, I highly suggest you check out next year’s shows over Labor Day weekend. As cliché as it may sound, every year seems to just get better and better.

Style & Entertainment

October 11, 2010

meets Lindsay Buteux

Contributing Writer

Watch out! Disney’s bad guys are stealing the show! The Venomous Villains Collection by MAC invaded stores this fall, showcasing an array of products. Maleficent from “Sleeping Beauty,” The Evil Queen from “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” Dr. Facilier from “The Princess and the Frog,” and Cruella Deville from “101 Dalmations,” each has separate parts of the collection that hold their trademark looks. If you dare to reach the extremes of an intense look, Malificent’s collection

supplies an edgy transformation. “My Dark Magic” is a violet and red/black mineral eye shadow duo and “She Who Dares” is a navy and green mineral eye shadow. If you’re looking to highlight your cheekbones, brush on some “Briar Rose Beauty Powder.” To bring some attention to the lips, try Malifent’s deep burgundy “Dark Deep” or bright “Violetta.” Three sparkly nail lacquers compliment the assembly. “Bad Fairy” is a blend of magenta and copper sparkle while “Mean & Green” combines golds, greens, and deep purples. Darken your mood with the “Formidable!” lacquer, a mixture of forest green and hints of plum. Diverging from the exotic look, The Evil Queen’s collection shows off a more youthful taste. Violets, pale pinks, and bright peaches create a more vibrant appearance. The “Oh So Fair” beauty powder leaves a pink complexion that is accented by the “Bite of an Apple” blush. Looking for a classy style to welcome the autumn? Disney’s renowned fashionista Cruella de Ville adds the chic factor to this season. If she doesn’t inspire you, no other thing will! The classic reds, nudes, and earth tones give a twist on natural elegance. Her shadows include the pitch-black “Carbon,” copper-red “De-Vil”, and golden “Sweet Joy” frost. The “Rapidblack” eyeliner completes the sinister eyes. A unique part of this makeup group is the powders. “Her Own Devices” beauty powder and the “Darkly My Dear” blush contain

undertones of brown, which works for a variety of skin tones. As Disney brought audiences a new fairy tale film “The Princess and the Frog,” Dr. Facilier introduces MAC’s newest product: the “Magically Cool Liquid Powder.” Although it is a powder, it feels wet to the touch. It is used to set foundation, and you can brush it on different areas of the face to create a light-reflecting effect. “Truth and Light” is for the paler complexion, while “Cajun” works for darker-toned skin. This powder will make

you glow. Accompanying MAC’s latest product are previously seen bold pigments. These versatile powders can add a subtle tint or a striking splash of color to the eyes. Dr. Facilier’s collection offers several. If you are a confident, fun-loving makeup connoisseur, the MAC Disney Venomous Villains Collection is right up your alley. Break away from your usual makeup habits and try this new collection. It’s a new season. Time for some edgy styles!

Video Game Previews Medal of Honor (PS3, Xbox 360): Trying to cash in on the success of firstperson shooting games such as “Modern Warfare,” the original WWII shooter “Medal of Honor” modernizes itself to keep up. Aside from a single player campaign, it’s the online multi-player that is being heavily pushed, which is an important piece of first person shooters nowadays. Specifically developed by DICE (“Battlefield: Bad Company 2”), the multi-player, with a beta released this past June, should be familiar to players of “Modern Warfare.” Players can choose between customizable soldiers or Taliban rebels, choose a mode they want to compete in, and earn points for kills. Developed by EALA (single player) and DICE (multiplayer). Presented by Electronic Arts. Rated M for Mature. Releases Oct. 12, 2010. http://www.medalofhonor.com

Jonathan Mallon

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow (Konami):

Staff Writer

Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 1 (Wiiware, XBLA, PSN): Sonic goes back to 2-D (again) for “Sonic the Hedgehog 4,” a downloadable game being released in episodic parts. The first episode features three stages that are throwbacks to stages from previous games. Despite some new ways to play specific levels, players still guide Sonic through large platforming stages, collecting rings and destroying enemies while stopping Dr. Robotnik. Developed by Dimps Corporation. Presented by Sega. Rated E for Everyone. Releases Oct. 13, 2010 (Xbox 360 date listing, provided by Gamespot.com). http://www.sega.com/sonic4/us/index. html

Enslaved: Odyssey to the West (Namco Bandai): Trip, a technologically intelligent woman, and Monkey, an acrobatic and agile man, must work together to survive and escape mysterious slave ships. Andy Serkis directed the scenes, while the company who made “Heavenly Sword” is among some of the accredited talent. Gameplay has players in control of Monkey, who will fight enemies with a powerful staff and his own acrobatic skills. For a tactical advantage, players can use Trip’s technological intelligence to look for enemies, among other things. Developed by Ninja Theory. Presented by Namco Bandai. Rated T for Teen. Releases Oct. 5, 2010. http://www.enslaved-thegame.com

Gabriel Belmont, part of a group of knights who fight mythical beasts, must venture to find an item that may revive his deceased wife in this new “Castlevania” game. Developed by Mercury Steam and backed by Kojima Productions (the “Metal Gear Solid” series), they attempt to make a better 3-D version of a 2-D classic than previous attempts. The visuals look fantastic. The game utilizes combat and adventuring elements of other games, but it’s the names of the voice talent that will surprise. Robert Carlyle (“28 Weeks Later”, “Stargate: Universe”) voices Gabriel, with other talent including Patrick Stewart and Jason Isaacs. Presented by Konami. Rated M for Mature. Releases Oct. 5, 2010. http://www.konami.jp/castlevania/en/ index.html

October 11, 2010

Style & entertainment

Superhero fables or so much more? Ken Grand-Pierre Staff Writer

This modern age is as weird as it is fast paced. Not only do most people in the world only keep in touch with friends and family via social networks, but being a geek, dork, and even an outcast is now…. cool. Yes, reader, no longer will one be looked as though they were a fungus for owning a Spider-Man comic or considered socially retarded for staying home and watching cartoons. But with change still comes misconception. A common misconceived notion about all graphic novels is that they surround fantasy and superheroes. This theory couldn’t be further from the truth. What makes comics a medium like no other isn’t just the integration of reading and art but the fact that comic books can literally be written on any topic. As a matter of fact, some authors find that to make a groundbreaking piece of work, the best medium to get a story across is the graphic novel. For example, writer Brian K. Vaughan is notable for making intellectual stories that explore highly relevant themes in the modern day. His most famous work, “Y: The Last Man,” is about a plague that ravages the world, wiping out every mammal possessing a Y chromosome except for protagonist Yorick Brown.

Throughout the story, Yorick does deals with the sense of isolation and confusion and is riddled with survivor’s guilt. Vaughn has stated in numerous interviews that getting those emotions across to a reader wouldn’t have been possible within a typical novel format. He has also written the critically acclaimed graphic novel, “Pride of Baghdad,” which follows the story of four lions who escape a zoo in Iraq and attempt to discover freedom. It’s highly recommended for fans of the allegory “Animal Farm.” Most people forget to give credit to graphic novels because people perceive images before text. Not only does this prove that graphic novels are an easily accessible medium, but also one which should be respected. One of the most notable aspects of graphic novels being taken seriously was the reception of the Christopher Nolan film, “The Dark Knight.” It’s a film based on the comic adventures of Batman. With the comic books as a foundation, the film (and entire discography of Batman comics) was able to delve into themes such as loss, corruption, insanity, criminal activity— and still be about a man dressed up as a bat, fighting crime. Graphic novels have the ability to take our minds to places we never imagined. We never have to sacrifice reality to enjoy them. On the contrary— they can make reality a more bearable ordeal to go through.

He’s Just Not into You...At All Dealing with rejection and all the emotions that go along with it

Krystal Macharie

Contributing Writer

Ever notice that when you open a magazine to get advice on relationships, there are always articles that steer you in the direction of how to get that special person? It’s almost as if they aren’t expecting failure or rejection. No one really discusses what to do if you happen to be rejected, because you are the central point of life and you can do anything you put your mind to, or so the media wants you to believe. This idea affects us in the worst way, because when rejection finally does come our way we don’t know how to deal with it. It isn’t a normal trend, and therefore we fear it and often times ignore how we feel instead of dealing with it properly. Rejection happens. For those of you who believed otherwise, life is not one of those overdone love stories where everything falls into place. It isn’t that sappy romance novel where the beautiful Latin man comes and sweeps you off of your feet in a fury of breathless tenacity. Once you begin to accept that rejection is just a normal part of the dating process, it’ll make dealing with it alot easier. Next, take a step back and evaluate just how everything makes you feel. Contrary to popular belief, it is okay to be hurt by the other person. Bottling all of the negative emotions inside and

acting as if it doesn’t bother you will only lead to an extreme breakdown. The sooner you deal with the negative feelings, the sooner you can let them go and move on. If you have taken the time to evaluate just how this whole situation makes you feel, and you have decided that you are over the rejection, then it is okay to strive for a friendship with this other person. There is, however, a downside to evaluating beginning a friendship with the person. By letting your guard down with your ex-fling, the feelings of rejection may slowly return, And by default this means that you aren’t ready to be just friends. The next step is a lot more simple then one would think it is: just move on. Let go, toss all of the extra baggage overboard. You have finally reached the point where you have done all that you can on your end. If the person doesn’t reciprocate the feelings, then nothing that you do or say will change that person’s mind. Rejection is normal, and dealing with it can be hard if you continue to repress your feelings. Just take some time off and deal with your emotions even though they make you feel vulnerable. And just remember, nothing is wrong with you if you do get rejected. *If you have a relationship-based question please write in to Kmachari@ sunyrockland.edu and I will try to be fair and discreet in answering all of your questions.



Outlook Student Press Susanna Perlov, Editor-in-Chief Babita Persaud, Production Manager Elchanan Heller, Managing Editor Josh Blachorsky, News Editor Sari Ugell, Features Editor

Jesse Strauch, Style & Entertainment Editor Jeremy Pardo, Opinion Editor Zehra Sheikh, Science & Health Editor Ian Mauro, Photo Editor Stan Morodohkin, Account Executive

October 11, 2010

“Gay” Should Not be A Loaded Word

Outlook Student Press is published every other week except during exam periods and summer. It is an independent newspaper and public forum produced by students and paid for by advertising revenue and student activities fees. Outlook Student Press invites you to submit your opinions and ideas for publication. We strongly encourage letters to the editor. Content does not necessarily reflect the views of the Outlook editors or staff. Submissions may be edited for clarity, length, style, and taste. Outlook does not accept anonymous submissions.

On the web: Outlookpress.org Facebook.com/outlookpress Email: Outlookstudentpress@gmail. com Office: Student Union Room 3200 Phone: (845) 574-4389 Fax: (845) 356-6261 Snail mail:Outlook Student Press Rockland Community College 145 College Road, Suffern, NY 10901 Professor Fuentes, Advisor

Staff: Brianna Robinson, Sarra Schwarz, Chayim Tauber, Kennedy Ogoye, Katherine O’Neill, Kristian Dougherty, Ken Grand Pierre, Jonathan Mallon, Sarah Mangs, Nicole Hoffman

Contributors: Anjelica Pagnozzi, Julie Hirsh, Elliot Lerman, Elizabeth Maze, Krystal Macharie, Nicole Arzoomanian, Lindsay Buteux, Erin O’Brien, Lindsay Goldman, Julia Claire Webber Photographers: Michelle Giff, Matt Holland, Lauren Smith



Peer Mentoring: Motivation From One Student to Another Amelia Bainton

Contributing Writer

For incoming freshmen who can’t seem to find their way around campus, or figure out where to get tutoring help, or just need a friend to talk to, the peer mentoring program might be just what you’re looking for. So often, students need help with various different things on campus, but are too afraid to talk to their professors about it. With the Peer Mentoring Program, students can find comfort in knowing that who they’re talking to is a fellow student, just like them. This program helps students out with whatever they may need to help them succeed in school. Professors Joe Falco and Kathy Carroll introduced the Peer Mentoring Program to SUNY Rockland Community College in the spring of 2010. It did so well in the spring, the program was welcomed back this semester. The program consists of 21 mentors who are each given a few mentees to help throughout the whole semester. Each week these mentors keep track of their mentees’ progress, and update them on what’s going on around campus. Mentors make themselves available in the advisement center for an hour each week, much like how a professor will have an office hour each week. Mentors do not just want to be a voice on the phone to their mentees; they want to be well known by them. Each week mentors sit in on at least one of their

mentees’ classes. To know that someone is in your class, and is there to help you specifically, is a comforting feeling. When the Mentors are in the classes, they basically reassure their mentees of what they’re there for and how they can help. A fellow mentor, Vanessah Raymond says, “Being a mentor forces you to be aware of a world outside your own. You’re not only thinking of what is best for you but of what could help your mentees. But it also tries your patience sometimes, and you must be persistent.” Sometimes mentees aren’t immediately willing to be helped, or ask for help from their mentors. They’re often embarrassed or they don’t find the point of the program and think it’s a huge waste of time. But over time, the Peer Mentoring Program hopes to have mentees and mentors develop a great bond that they wouldn’t have thought possible at the beginning of the semester. Another fellow mentor, Kimberlyn Frost says, “The Peer Mentoring Program provides great opportunities for both mentors and mentees alike. The Program is a fairly new addition to RCC, so there are still some kinks to work out, but so far we’re off to a great start.” As with any program or club on campus, you have to start somewhere. For the Peer Mentoring Program, that place is here. The program hopes to inspire those who need help, and maybe even those who are interested in helping others too.

Elliot Lerman

Contributing Writer

For our society to change, we need to be consciously aware of the words we speak, and understand and recognize the power that words have. When I say the word “gay” to people they automatically feel uncomfortable or start laughing. Why do we look at a sexual preference as something to laugh about? I am certain that most people are not homophobic and do have anything against gay people. But the word gay has been turned into the definition of something that is stupid or wrong. This in turn makes many people feel horrible about even contemplating the possibility that they are gay. I know it took me years to finally admit to myself that I am gay simply because I was scared of the backlash by my peers.

“Coming out” is a terrifying experience, and even in today’s society there exists a fear of being harassed and being picked on for being gay. People have to understand that by using the term gay in a negative way they are reinforcing this stigma against homosexuals. In grade school it is taught not to call other people names because it can hurt their feelings, but kids rarely take this message to heart. When it comes to homosexuality, the root of the hatred can be traced to society’s negative association with the word gay. Many people avoid discussing issues relating to homosexuality. Yet I suggest, that after meeting a homosexual person, you too would recognize that homosexuals are people just like everyone else. Society needs to try and understand homosexuals, or at least be aware of and respect their lifestyle. Being more sensitive in how we use the word gay is good way to start.

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October 11, 2010

Science & Health


The “Skinny” On Diet Plans Misconceptions about our health & nutrition Gina Duncan

Contributing Writer

Dieting plays a major role in the American lifestyle. There are always new ideas and plans that convince many to try and use new diets. In nutrition, however, “diet” is the sum of all the food consumed by a person or other organism. These habits are the habitual decisions individuals or cultures make when choosing which foods to eat. The word diet often implies the use of a specific intake of nutrition for health or weight-management reasons (with the two often being related.) Many people don’t realize that a diet is temporary, and in order to see lasting results, one must adopt a new lifestyle and new food choices. There is also new evidence coming to light about the dangerous health effects of pesticides, food additives, and other contaminants in our food supply. In addition, there is growing concern about the potential harm of irradiated and genetically modified foods. The bottom line for a health-promoting lifestyle is to reduce the intake of these potentially harmful substances, and foods laden with empty calories, additives, and artificial sweeteners, and replace them with natural foods, preferably organically grown and non-genetically modified. You need to make sure to do this in moderation. Some people try to completely eliminate certain foods from their diet. Carbohydrates, for example, are considered “evil” because of their

potential for possible weight gain. The truth is, carbohydrates provide the most direct energy to our cells. They can be simple, such as in sugars, or even complex, such as in vegetables and grains. These carbohydrates are readily broken down into glucose, the energy for our cells. Whole-carbohydrate foods such as fruits, vegetables, and whole grains are also good sources of fiber; refined carbohydrates in products made with white flour or white sugar, such as cookies, crackers, bagels, or pasta, do not contain fiber. But they do provide quick sources of concentrated energy. So the next time you’re thinking of starting a new diet, stop, and ask yourself why the other ones didn’t work. In order to become healthy you must learn about your body and the powerful foods that keep it running smoothly.



Erin O’Brien

Contributing Writer

Ping, which according to Apple acquired one million users in the first 48 hours of its release, is similar in both function and format to Facebook. The only visible difference between the two social networking sites is that Ping is limited only to music. The similarities are even more apparent when looking at Facebook’s Music application, formerly iLike. The Music application is an almost identical program to iTunes Ping, but was developed four years prior. Besides being one of the most high-tech examples of plagiarism, Ping is nowhere near as popular as Apple claims it to be. Having one million users after just two days is amazing, but may be less so when you take into account that an updated number has not been released since. Whether this number is accurate or, more likely, exaggerated, is up for debate, as Apple is the only source that has released the numbers yet. The lack of growth does not bode well for the future

of the “budding” network. The disinterest may be the least of Ping’s worries, given the numerous technical issues the program has experienced since inception. Within 24 hours of Ping’s launch the network was overloaded with spam from hackers, mostly for free iPhones and iPads, due to the system’s weak firewalls. The first free iPhone spam wave remained active for up to four hours before being disabled. The problems just kept getting worse for Ping as reports flooded in of fake artist pages being posted. Graham Cluley, senior technology consultant at Sophos, a security software company, pointed out the design flaws of the network saying, “Clearly the lack of filtering on Ping is making it a brand new playground for [scammers] to operate in.” Ping’s record also includes many failed and unauthorized attempts to integrate it with Facebook, which were foiled when Facebook issued a block to deny access to the system’s application programming interface (API) needed to link the two networks. A connection between Facebook and any other website requires a contract that clearly lays out

the terms of use, something Facebook has repeatedly refused to do with Ping. The bad press and network issues may

October 11, 2010

require a major Ping re-vamp in the near future. For now it’s safe to say Ping does not live up to Apple’s hype.

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October 11, 2010


A Tale of Two Teams

Women’s volleyball goes up against a larger, stronger team

Elliot Leman

Contributing Writer

Chayim Tauber

Contributing Writer

The Lady Hawks volleyball squad is an undersized squad that when facing a team that matches their numbers, can dominate the play, like they recently did against Bronx Community College. They won another

straight sweep, three games to none, and hardly seemed to break a sweat doing it. The game against Monroe, however, was a game where the Hawks were victimized at the net by a bigger and more powerful team with killers all over the court. They seemed at times overmatched and were left scrambling. “We made a lot of errors, mistakes

that really hurt us,” the coaches, Kristin Ellingson and Lindsey Doolittle, said after the Monroe game. “We have to be a lot more aggressive and disciplined in our assignments if we plan to beat the bigger teams.” The Hawks were scrambling to get a hand on kills and loose balls all game. With the notable exception of a gutsy and spirited

win in a “must-win” third game, they never seemed comfortable with the power on the other side of the net. “That’s what we’re gonna be working on in our next practice,” promised the coaches. “Defense and picking up loose balls; diving, and making plays. We’re gonna work on different strategies to use against a team like [Monroe]”. Further depleting their roster, setter Marie Lang had been injured, making the already small team even smaller. An additional detriment to the Hawks was the officiating. The referees caught an earful from the boisterous and frustrated RCC crowd. “They made some bad calls that cost us several points,” the coaches admit, “but we still made a lot of mistakes we can’t be making if we expect to win.” Though the Monroe game was something of a blight on their otherwise excellent home record, the Hawks are still one of the more dominant home-teams in the league and their game against Bronx reiterated that. Player Takako Yano served up twenty four assists to Christina Ruballes, who had four kills. Kayla Rodriguez had five kills, Christina Chung had nine, and Joan Shurman had twelve. Mary Hernandez chipped in two aces and a dig as the Hawks won in dominant fashion. The problem facing Monroe remains— what to do against the bigger teams? Whether or not they solve this is yet to be determined.

How Do You Spell Hypocrisy? Kristian Dougherty Staff Writer

I spell it N-C-A-A. Like many other governing bodies, the NCAA picks and chooses who is subject to their rules and standards, and who is not. They often look away from the problems right under their noses, and instead choose to act only when a situation becomes so bad that it can no longer be ignored. When they finally do react, oftentimes their solution is even more criminal than the violation they were investigating in the first place. Amidst a scandal that has become all too common in the world of major college football, the NCAA has recently ruled that former University of Southern California running back Reggie Bush committed multiple rules violations during his time at USC, for which he won the Heisman Trophy. These violations, which include the acceptance of cash, gifts, and other benefits, have prompted the NCAA to rule him retroactively ineligible. Rather than have the award stripped, Bush has vacated his 2005 Heisman Trophy and returned it to the very people who awarded it to him in the first place five years ago. For decades, the NCAA and its member universities have profited from the exploitation of young athletes, mostly football and basketball players, who are not allowed to receive any reward no matter how minuscule. These athletes sacrifice their health, their time, and in many cases their education, all for the benefit of their schools and coaches. In return, these young men receive nothing

more than the promise of a professional career and millions of dollars that may never come. These schools and the NCAA make billions of dollars born out of the blood, sweat and tears of these young men, without a single dollar trickling down to them or their families. If a player does not like the way his school or the NCAA are running things, he can’t just get up and leave. Any player who is currently under scholarship who decides to leave one school for another, for whatever reason, is often forced to sacrifice a year of what is already a short playing career to do so. Meanwhile, college football coaches are free to move from school to school as they see fit, without any consequence. Many of these coaches receive millions of dollars in endorsements for having a swoosh or three stripes or some other sneaker company’s logo

on their team’s uniforms. This is all without having to step on the field or play a single down. Many will argue that these players receive a free education as a reward, but in most cases, the young college football player has little or no interest in education. Most are from inner cities or impoverished backgrounds, and education is not even a blip on their radar. These young men are football players, plain and simple. So in a way, many institutions of higher learning have become vocational schools for football players disguised under the trappings of higher education. These schools pretend to promote education amongst their athletes, but do little to enforce the standards that the normal student is subject to. Many of the players are greased through. Often they are given fluff schedules that promise not to

interfere with their play on the field. However, if a player tries to go around the NCAA in his quest to become a professional football player, they again will meet severe resistance. The NCAA and the NFL have decided that any young man who wishes to be eligible to play in the NFL must be at least three years removed from high school graduation. This virtually guarantees that any young man who wishes to play football must attend a university, even though he may have no desire to do so. If the NCAA wants to truly examine criminal behavior, perhaps it should turn its blind gaze inward. Or maybe they should more carefully examine the recruiting and coaching practices used by many of its universities. At present, the University of Florida, one of the most popular and successful programs in college football, has 25 players under scholarship who have been arrested for criminal offenses. Yet the NCAA seemingly looks the other way, allowing Florida and other schools like it to continue to bring troubled young men into the fold.Instead they chose to target Reggie Bush. Despite his “transgressions,” Bush was the single best player in college football for the 2005 season. No matter what rules infractions he may have committed, his play on the field was above reproach, and I doubt you will find anyone who will say otherwise. But rather than address the very real problems that plague collegiate sports, the NCAA chooses instead to rewrite its own history, by wiping the names of even the smallest rule breakers from its record books.


October 11, 2010


Up Close & Personal With

JS: Cool, Australia- Hey wait! That’s just a line from one of your songs... CS: What advice do you have for any one who wants to go into the industry like you? JB: Well, I’ma tell you one time, I’ma tell you one time, I’ma tell you one time.

Jesse Strauch

Style & Entertainment Editor

Usually having a 12 year old sister is a terrible thing, but it’s even more horrifying to be forced to take that same 12 year old sister to a Justin Bieber concert. Through a weird turn of events my sister and I ended up backstage with the man(if you can call him that) himself, Justin Bieber. His agent said that we could have a brief and “conservative” conversation with him for 20 minutes. Needless to say but this interview was anything but conservative. About 10 minutes into waiting, we saw the “Bieb” fixing his refined bowl cut, or the “swoop,” with an arsenal of hair products and other assorted canisters that looked like they could put down a full-grown bear. Soon after, he headed over and our interview began. *Attention Reader* Justin Bieber spoke through a auto-tune voice box during the interview

Jesse Strauch: Thank you for sitting down with us my sister really appreciates it. Justin Bieber: (still playing with his swoop) No, thank you I love to talk to my fans Jesse Strauch: Well while we were waiting we came up with some questions. JB: Cool.. (my sister interrupts Justin and proceeds to embarrass the two of us in splendid fashion) Chloe Strauch: My Mom is a huge fan and wanted to know if you would sign her bra? (But before we could have a chance to fully feel the embarrassment and

implications of Chloe’s question, Justin responded with an answer that literally left us speechless). JB: Oh sorry I only sign panties... from Kids-R-Us. JS: Wow, anyways how does your mom feel about all this success you’ve had at such a young age? (pointing to the women standing behind him) JB: That’s not my Mom...that’s just a stage mom. I got 10 of them. JS: Ok, so who is your real mom then? JB: I’m really a test tube baby. The people at Columbia Records took the DNA from Usher and a Smurf. CS: That’s weird! JB: And technically, Usher is somehow my mom... I don’t even know how that works. JS: Alright so I’m going to say that means you’re an only child... JB: That’s true, but my tube was apparently next to Miley Cyrus and Lindsay Lohan. Funny enough, Paris Hilton was the first attempt at making a test tube celebrity, and look at how she turned out. JS: I’m just going to change subjects at this point. So how was working with Ludacris? That must have been a big moment in your career. JB: Oh, it was a lot of fun but I was upset when I heard that he got shot in Compton. JS: No...that happened to Tupac about 10 years before you were born. JS: So, what’s the next stop on your

tour? JB: I’m going doooooooooown.



This continued for the next 15 minutes until his agent walked up behind him and gave him a quick slap to the head. With that Justin Bieber sprang back to life and ripped off his shirt (this was the highlight of my sister’s night) and started running around the room. I was strangely scared but mostly amused because his voice was so highpitched that he sounded like a smurf who had just inhaled too much helium. Guards came with a taser to subdue the animal-like version of Beiber, who started ripping apart anything within reach. It was similar to Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, except it was Justin Bieber mixed with a pissed off gorilla. To keep us quiet, Bieber’s agent gave my sister and I a check for $1 million but the check bounced. Therefore, I write this story to you now in the waiting room of the doctor’s office where my sister and I now get therapy.

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