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TABLE OF CONTENTS VOLUME 45 NUMBER 03 JUNE 2021
PRIDE CENTRAL
17 to 21
40 OFM TRAVEL
N3PTUNE
4 OFM J U N E 2 0 2 1
BILLY PORTER
photo by Julius Garrido
28
24
49 OFM STYLE 54 OFM CANNABIS 57 OFM THOUGHTS 62 OFM LUST 64 OFM LIT
37
photo by Arturo Homles
FROM THE EDITOR 06 LETTER 08 OFM BREAKING 12 OFM HEALTH 16 OFM CULTURE
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outfrontmagazine.com 5
FROM THE EDITOR
#PRIDEINRESILIENCE While 2021 is definitely a landmark year, it’s not the first time the queer community has had to be resilient. Not only was Stonewall a riot carried out by Black, trans women, it was an uprising against a society that had pushed queer, Black, trans people to the breaking point. And just how queer folks have always fought against hardship and marginalization, so have people of color, disabled folks, and Indigenous Americans. So, this year we celebrate all we have been through, not just last year, during COVID, but throughout the years, as marginalized people have fought for civil rights. We make more space for people of color to celebrate their Pride, expanding the rainbow into new and long-neglected territory. And in honor of this celebration, we have a magazine blessed with the presence of none other than the iconic Billy Porter. His work in Pose alongside his awesome, gender-diverse colleagues has paved the way for more representation in Hollywood and paid tribute to our foremothers, fathers, and nonbinary, queer parents who paved the way for us. So, this summer, celebrate your resilience, and that of your community, as you get back out there and learn to appreciate what makes us all unique and special. Happy Pride; see you soon! -Addison Herron-Wheeler
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SURVIVING TRUMP OFM breaking
The Aftermath of an Administration
S
by Ray Manzari
ince Biden has taken up residence in the White House, he and his administration have begun to make good on promises to overturn polices enacted during the Trump era. From healthcare to women’s reproductive rights, there are a total of eight overturned policies with an additional 22 in process. During his first few hours in office, Biden signed more than 17 executive orders, many of them focused on reversing Trump policies.
For many, the last year has been especially difficult. A global pandemic left many unemployed, stuck in isolation, and killed more than 500,000 Americans. Twenty-twenty also saw an increase in viral videos depicting police brutality and violent deaths like that of George Floyd, which sparked a global movement for social justice. In addition to this, last year was the deadliest on record for transgender Americans, as 44 trans or gender-nonconforming Many of the policies Biden has overturned via Americans were shot or killed in violent attacks. executive order pertain to the Affordable Care Act. It’s going to take time for Americans to heal from the Also known as Obamacare, the Affordable Care Act disaster that was last year. Some of those feelings provides affordable health insurance to millions have been reflected in nationwide surveys, with a of Americans. One overturned policy cut funding significant increase in stress about the country’s for ACA outreach programs which strive to help future and political climate after the 2016 election. ease the process of enrollment. Another policy And in 2020, 68 percent of Americans said the still in process of being overturned rescinded non- election was a significant source of stress in their discrimination protections for LGBTQ populations lives, up from 52 percent in 2016. under the ACA. Clinical psychologist Jennifer Panning even coined Within his first 100 days, Biden also overturned decisions to remove the U.S. from the World Health the term “Trump anxiety disorder” to describe the Organization as well as the Paris Climate Accords, stress many people were feeling in the weeks and the landmark framework for global action against months following the 2016 election. “People tended climate change. Biden has also since restored to experience things like ruminations and worries funding to the U.N. family planning agency, which of what’s going to be next” as they awaited each new provides sexual and reproductive healthcare tweet or action by the president, Panning told Vox News. services to families worldwide. Biden rescinded a permit for the Keystone XL It’s also going to take time to heal from the previous Pipeline and issued an order aimed at strengthening administration and the hate that spread across the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program the country because of it. For many healing will begin with the admission that the last four years after Trump attempted to end it. have been especially traumatizing. As individuals On the immigration front, Biden reversed a Trump take steps toward healing, it’s also a time when we proclamation that barred foreign nationals seeking can look at bigger changes to the country’s mental a green card who are outside the United States from healthcare system. That includes providing child entering the country. The Biden reversal did not lift care, flexible hours, and other supports to make restrictions on temporary work visas, however. therapy more accessible to all Americans. But even as the current administration slowly In addition to seeking help, giving back is also begins to undo some of the policies put in effect a viable way to begin recovering from Trump by Trump, Americans are still working to recover trauma. Activism can be one way to heal, by joining from the traumatic four years. Science denying movements for social justice or giving back to the and conspiracy theories continue to plague the community. But most importantly, make time to republican party months after a new administration rest and take care of yourself. has taken office.
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OFM breaking
WHAT COVID TAUGHT US ABOUT LARGE EVENTS AND ACCESSIBILITY by Ray Manzari
L
ast summer marked the 50th anniversary of Pride, and many outdoor festivals and events were either canceled or held virtually in response to COVID-19. This summer, we can expect much of the same, with smaller gatherings and concerts becoming increasingly safer as more Americans are vaccinated. Denver has elected hold Pride as a virtual event again in 2021, and many community members from around the world have expressed how this change has increased accessibility for these events. In the past, Pride parades are often crowded, hard to get to, and colorfully chaotic. While these attributes have become synonymous with Pride events, they’ve also limited access to would-be attendees who don’t do well in crowds, cannot easily access these spaces due to disabilities or chronic illness, or are neurodivergent. Historically, Pride events have been inaccessible to the disabled community, from failing to employ sign-language interpreters and hosting events in spaces that aren’t wheelchair-accessible to not having a fragrance-free policy. Pride parades have also not been super welcoming to BIPOC due to heavy police presence. Sober people may also feel unwelcome, as many Pride events have become heavily entwined with alcohol and substance use.
By streaming Pride events online, many cities saw a large increase of attendance. Attendees were able to take part in Pride from the comfort of their own homes, where they would not have to worry about things like wheelchair access, excessive loud noise, dietary restrictions, etc. Furthermore, it is now possible for people to attend an array of events from all over the world. Currently, 71 jurisdictions or countries criminalize samegender relationships. LGBTQ populations who reside in these countries have never been able to take part in Pride until last year. Holding Pride events virtually has opened up celebrations to some of the most vulnerable members of the community, those who risk death or jail time by living authentically. The very purpose of Pride is to celebrate the LGBTQ community as a whole, and it’s time that Pride events start to reflect the inclusivity and sensitivity to marginalized groups’ needs that this community is known for.
It’s our differences that make us great.
People from within the community have since written extensively on the ways in which Pride event organizers can begin making changes to increase accessibility and inclusion for future events. “Events need to be accessible, which means hosting ones that aren’t strictly just parades, creating a disability seating section, hiring interpreters, setting aside dedicated sensory-friendly and low-noise spaces, having a strict fragrance- and smokingfree policy, and offering a service-animal relief area,” writes Alaina Leary for Bitch Media. She continues, “Every virtual event should have at least one point person handling accessibility who can answer questions about access needs, provide detailed accessibility information for guests, and make it possible for them to request specific accommodations.”
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outfrontmagazine.com 9
OFM breaking
Celebrates Pride with Scholarships for
Queer Youth by Madison Rose Sara Grossman is a seasoned veteran in the fight toward LGBTQ equality. As a founder and board member of The Dru Project, her passion for helping queer youth shines through when she talks about her organization. “The Dru Project is going to be in its fifth year this June,” she tells OFM. “We are starting to spread our wings even more, as we now have a presence not only in Colorado and Florida, but in Ohio, Indiana, and Kentucky.” One of the objectives of The Dru Project is to help support LGBTQ youth in rural areas who do not have access to the same type of acceptance and support that exists more prevalently in liberal, urban places. Sara explained that in Kentucky, a loophole was implemented for high school students who want to establish Gay-Straight Alliances. In order for a GSA to be formed, there needs to be a clear path for the students involved toward college. “It’s a way to get LGBT people out of those small towns and to where they are going to be more accepted and successful,” Sara explains. The Dru Project partnered with the organization Love Must Win in order to set aside scholarships specifically for these rural schools. The Dru Project was established in 2016, after the shooting at the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, Florida. Christopher Andrew Leinonen was one of the victims and Grossman’s best friend. She remembers “dancing like idiots together at clubs” and recalls 1 0 OFM J U N E 2 0 2 1
the time they tried to sneak into Disney World. As freshmen in college, Grossman says that Drew asked her to get them into a special high school seniors’ night at the theme park by having her lie her way inside, telling cast members that they lost their group. She smiles as she recalls panicking while Drew “laughed his ass off.” After Drew’s funeral, on her way back to Denver from Central Florida, she purchased the URL thedruproject.org not knowing what she was going to do with it. She felt the drive, however, to keep the spirit and legacy of her friend alive. About a month after Grossman established the URL, she received a phone call from another one of Drew’s friends. They had set up a 501c3 also titled The Dru Project. Grossman offered her talents with communications to Shawn Chaudhry and Brandon Wolf, and the board for The Dru Project was established. “We all decided the natural thing to do was to keep Drew’s legacy alive and make sure he wasn’t just another number, another victim of gun violence that we just forget about. We decided what we would do is give hope to queer youth through the production of our GSA guide and the distribution of scholarships,” Grossman says. This June, Grossman and The Dru Project are raising money for their scholarships through a special event at the Left Hand Brewing Company in Longmont. There will be bands, drag performers, and the brewery is even building a bandshell and stage as well as painting a rainbow checkerboard on their parking lot for socially distanced tables. Can’t make it to the event on June 5? You can still grab a cold glass of DRUICY FRUIT!, a citrus beer that pays homage to Drew’s home state of Florida, throughout the entire month of June. Proceeds from the sale of the beer will go to The Dru Project and scholarships helping queer youth. “As we see our adversaries attacking queer youth, this work is more important than ever, and it’s on us to create the future for LGBTQ+ youth that we desired for ourselves,” Grossman explains. The Dru Project’s work continues to help knock down barriers for queer youth and helps to make the future brighter for the LGBTQ community.
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CALL 1-800-QUIT-NOW.
#CDCTips
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5/21/18 2:29 PM
T I FOOD
ood is part of what defines culture. As far as we can look back into history, food has played an integral role in telling each culture’s story across generations. The falling of empires, times of war and famine, moments of prosperity, and the enslavement of groups of people—all can be told through the foods of the time. One amazing thing about being part of the LGBTQ community is that these same stories are interwoven together by all the community’s members. Being queer allows one to have a better understanding of other cultures, since we all share a common thread within our diverse community. Michael W. Twitty shares his stories as a queer, Jewish person of AfricanAmerican decent through culinary experiences and symbolic foods in his writings. Mr. Twitty, a James Beard-award-winning author, recently discussed the journey of African-American history in the southern United States through foods still found in soul food today at a virtual seminar for the Neustadt JAAMM Festival. Twitty is a descendant of individuals who were enslaved in the Southern United States, including several people among the first African Americans to see the end of the Civil War. He celebrates the foods that were part of this history, foods that represent the lives of the enslaved. We also learn from Mr. Twitty’s words, both spoken and written, that Jewish culture is deeply intertwined with the African American tradition through shared experiences of enslavement. The first story he tells is of “Solomon the Mulatto Jew” who was arrested for traveling on the Sabbath. The enslavement of both these peoples did not originate in the United States, but in colonized areas throughout the globe. Despite this shared trauma, food providing comfort and joy has become part of the customs meant to heal from these past experiences for both cultures. For example, sugar cane was a common crop cultivated by both communities, often then made into molasses. Many staple ingredients in both Jewish and soul food cuisines share their origins as “scraps” to the dominant population. Inexpensive cuts of meat, potatoes, and unleavened breads (think matzoh and corn cakes) are core to both cultures. One of Twitty’s featured dishes is a matzoh-ball gumbo, combining the classic, Jewish unleavened bread with traditional, Southern food.
1 2 OFM J U N E 2 0 2 1
by Zachari Breeding, MS, RDN, CSO, LDN, FAND
photo by Bret Hartman
OFM health
F
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THROUGH
ride
I PR
of P
REJOICING THE
Jewish communities have been integral parts of many southern cities in the United States. In these areas, Jewish settlers were able to integrate better into Southern communities, mainly because more animosity was directed toward AfricanAmericans. This is not to say Jewish people in the early 1900s didn’t face any discrimination; in fact, antisemitism often rises during times of civil unrest and this happened during the Civil Rights Movement, made even worse by Jewish participation in ending legal segregation. Because Jewish culture in the American South was so heavily influenced by African American culture, we begin to see culinary assimilation in dishes such as barbecued matzoh balls, sweet potato pancakes, and yam beignets. Twitty also combines these traditions in his food to celebrate the history of his people. Mr. Twitty embodies the spirit of the rich legacies from the generations of marginalized communities he represents. The way he uses the foods of his ancestors celebrates the richness of his history and his ability as a queer man to tell these stories unapologetically. It is with this in mind that we enter into Pride Month, and every month, carrying this spirit with gratitude for those who came before.
What is
Fat Pride?
by Addison Herron-Wheeler
T
he idea of “fat pride” always threw me off. How could I be proud of something I despised about myself, something I was constantly judged for and called out about? It also seemed different than the concepts of Black Pride or queer Pride, as being Black and queer are not things people wish to change about themselves. Sure, they both come with marginalizations, but it’s not possible to change them, and they come with community and unity. Being fat often just comes with loneliness, feeling like everyone else can go to the pool without anxiety, wear less in summer without a second thought, or do things in workout classes that aren’t even possible for fatter bodies.
OFM health
Tales of a Fierce, Fat, Fit, Femme
Plus, there was always the guilt around the fact that my weight fluctuates, so sometimes, I’m not a person who can use the word “fat” to describe myself, and other times, I’m in a place where I am looking to change my body in some way, even if that means losing weight. Either of those things can lead to feelings that I’m “betraying” other people of size. It’s complicated. In fact, it even took me time to be able to use the reclaimed word “fat.” It felt like an ugly insult, a way to quantify my entire existence just by mentioning that I carry some extra weight. I couldn’t understand why it was something people were proud to say, and I got mad when other fat folks assumed it was a reclaimed word I would want to use. And then I started writing this column. I chose the word “fat” because it made for a clever, alliteration-filled title, but I was so scared. How would people see me differently if I called myself fat? Was I fat enough? As a “small fat,” not only due to my size, but due to my stature, was I allowed to use the word? Was I opening up myself to criticism from other folks of size, as well as vicious, straight-sized folks who would use the column as a way to mock? And what if I lost weight? At what point in my fitness journey do I need to change the name? According to the outdated, sexist, and problematic BMI system, I will pretty much always be at least overweight at 4 feet, 11 inches, but what if I look a lot thinner? Then I realized I was focused on the wrong thing, still. It’s not about your size, comparing your fatness to others, or celebrating the fact that you’re unhealthy or live an unhealthy lifestyle; it’s about fighting back against the stigmas in society that say being straight, skinny, white, blond, and mainstream is correct. It’s about celebrating your body at all sizes, and loving every inch of it. It’s about moving your body and exercising, and also nourishing your body with food and water, no matter your size or goals. It’s about coming to health and wellness from a perspective of self-love, not the desire to change yourself. And now, though I still have bad days where my self-image is horrible and I just can’t win, I love myself and my body. I love the way it looks and feels, and I love to respect it with exercise, good food, and water. And just like being proud of the color of your skin, who you love, or how you identify, a positive self-image in the face of our flawed society is what it’s all about. outfrontmagazine.com 13
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what is
P “W E FLOOR L V I C
hat is Pelvic Floor Therapy?” I ask my friend as we sip our cocktails in a dimly lit booth of Sputniks. A way-too-ecstatic Danny Divito cardboard cutout popping up in the booth behind my friend makes me giggle as I ask the question. “It’s far more helpful than you would think,” exclaims my friend “For everyone! The hard part is finding providers who are accepting and willing or who have the knowledge to work with trans and nonbinary patients.” They sigh. “I have a friend who is a pelvic floor therapist that is inclusive and just overall a really good person. That could be an interesting story … I’ll send you her info.” My friend is trans, and we were discussing important issues within the trans community as well as coming up with interesting photo assignments I could give myself. The topic of accessible and non-discriminatory healthcare has been an overwhelming subject for the trans community, as they are severely limited on where they can go to seek care.
In a study done by the LGBTQ Task Force, nearly 50 percent of survey participants reported having to teach their medical providers about transgender care and roughly 28 percent report postponing medical care when sick or injured due to discrimination and disrespect. The first time I typed the words ‘pelvic floor therapy’ into my search bar, images of pregnant women and dilators aligned on my screen. “How is this therapy for everyone?” I thought to myself. The information that was out there was confusing and not-so-inclusive. Here is a therapy that is incredibly beneficial to the trans community, yet there is little information out there for them. I wanted to know more, so I reached out to a couple pelvic floor therapists in the area, Dr. Krystyna Holland who works with the surgical team at Denver Health as well as her own private practice and Dr. Sarah Poinski-McCoy who works closely with the surgical team at UC Health. To accurately write about what it is they do, I scheduled an appointment with Krystyna at her private practice.
therapy? Words and photos by Kelsey Sale
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To be honest, I was terrified. After becoming a survivor of sexual assault before I’d ever seen my first OBGYN, letting someone assess my pelvic floor was not something I’d ever imagine adding to my to-do list. Now 29 going on 30, my heart still races, palms still sweat, and getting there is still the hardest part. “As medical providers, we learn that the numbers are high enough that any time you lay your hands on any human being, you should be thinking along the lines of, ‘This person may be experienced trauma, and I could be crossing into territory that
At my appointment with Dr. Holland, I learned so much about my body on top of feeling muscles I’ve never felt before. The amount of comfort and request for consent in our session was drastically better than my first OGBYN appointment. Her training in inclusivity resulted in my feeling accepted and well cared for with something very personal.
OFM health
that with someone that you’re supposed to trust, it can be disheartening, especially for those in the trans community.”
After months of further research, I became aware of how beneficial pelvic floor therapy is for quite literally everyone. Pelvic floor therapists work closely with cancer survivors, survivors of sexual assault, those experiencing painful sex, pregnant women before and after giving birth, children who experience nighttime or daytime wetting, pre- and post-op trans men and women, and so many more. However, not all pelvic floor therapists work or have furthered their education in all of these areas. Dr. Poinsky Mc-Coy explains that, “When you go to school to become a physical therapist, you are a generalist when you leave, so there is no one area where you get extra training. Once you leave, you can further your education and do outside work on your own, which is one of the things that I and Dr. Krystyna Holland chose to do specifically with transgender patients.”
is triggering for them.’ So, we need to be looking out for how they’re responding, what they’re feeling, and be talking to them and ensuring that they still have given you consent to continue moving forward,” states Dr. Sarah Poinski-McCoy.
Those undergoing or recovering from gender-affirming surgeries are feeling all of this and more as they seek providers who have the training and experience tailored to their specific needs. As struggles with mental health are on the rise after the tumultuous year-and-a-half we’ve all faced, it’s been far worse for many in the LGBTQ community, and finding care that is inclusive and knowledgeable about your specific needs is more important than ever.
As I was looking for other inclusive, pelvic floor therapists in the Denver area, I quickly realized there weren’t many. Denver Health and UC Health are great resources for gender-affirming care. However, there are some other private practices in the Denver area such as Inclusive Care LLC, Activcore Physical Therapy, and N2 Physical Therapy, all which have providers with education and experience in working with trans and nonbinary patients. Special thanks to Krystyna Holland for allowing me to photograph her process through an initial examination and to those who volunteered to be photographed.
There are many complications that accompany genderaffirmation practices, and since bottom surgeries drastically change anatomy, it is important that the pelvic floor muscles work properly. There are also many other postoperative considerations such as dilation, wound care, and scar tissue management, and relearning toileting behavior with new anatomy. With such an intimate therapy, the need for inclusive providers who are understanding and knowledgeable about what you are going through is necessary. “There is a lot of distrust in the medical community due to past traumas and past experiences,” states Dr. Poinski-McCoy. “I’ve had some patients tell me that their previous doctors told them that something was wrong with them, and that they just needed to pray. So, after having an experience like outfrontma ga zine.com 15
OFM culture
QUEER , BL ACK,
Leading and
by Brian Byrdsong
that into New Thinkers, which is an organization dedicated to doing just that. In 2020, she invited the Central Park 5 to an event that resonated throughout the state. Regarding the organization, she says, “My surprise is finding out that it’s not just a select group of people that are New Thinkers; perhaps we all are.” That line hits home when you speak with Nadine Bridges, executive director of ONE Colorado, an organization dedicated to advancing equality for all LGBTQ people in the state. She has had quite the journey to becoming the powerhouse she is today. Much of that journey began, though, because she was surrounded by youth throughout the years, which includes her time at Rainbow Alley. Seeing them come into themselves and take over the leadership roles without diminishing parts of themselves resonated with Nadine and inspired her on her own journey to self-acceptance. These three inspiring individuals have had such different experiences, and yet one major thing ties them all together: mental health and wellness. On the topic, Keo says, “How many times have we heard ‘don’t cry?’” It is critically important to speak out when we are in crisis mode, and it benefits everyone when we can go to someone who is able to listen intentionally when we aren’t. Still, though, Keo mentions it’s important to have those “partners in light,” people who you don’t have to say everything to but are there to support you during the times you may be struggling.
W
hen the word “leadership” is mentioned, everyone conjures up an image. Perhaps you think of a politician, strongly guiding their constituents in what they think is the right direction. Perhaps you think of a CEO, making those top-level decisions that everyone will have to live with. It’s not often that someone will think of the academic, the entrepreneur, or the nonprofit director. Even more rarely will that person be imagined as identifying as queer and Black. Meet three people who are changing that. Dr. D-L Stewart (he/him, they/them), is not only an academic in CSU’s College of Education; he is also a member of the administrative team that leads YouthSeen, an organization dedicated to supporting QTBIPOC and LGBTQ youth. His work over the last two decades has focused mainly on intersectionality and academia, with a specific focus on the college and university experience, which he states, has “deliberately set itself against the life chances of minoritized (by race, gender, sexuality, disability, etc.) students.” Dr. Stewart believes, though, that the best way to make a difference is not only to research the systems that we live within, but to also show up and “do the work,” a lot of which means being engaged and involving oneself in the community. Coincidentally, this has been the most difficult part of being Dr. Stewart. As someone who lives outside of Denver (which has a larger queer community), Dr. Stewart finds it hard to engage and connect, but he hopes his move to University of Denver will help to alleviate that. On the topic of involving oneself in the community, Meet Keo, the founder of New Thinkers and experienced Entrepreneur. Keo has worked with several top, national brands such as United Airlines and 1800 Tequila. Keo’s mission is to solve world problems right here from our own city, and she has translated 1 6 OFM JUNE 2 0 2 1
On the subject, Dr. Stewart says we know it is of critical importance, and the important thing now to is to make sure good mental health “isn’t happenstance.” It’s all about having people who are willing to understand the system and then “disrupt and uproot” that same system. Understanding that the instances of mental health challenges are not due to the internalization of identity issues, but rather society’s reaction to identity is key, Dr. Stewart says. We need to “reframe the conversation.” Keo echoed those sentiments, stating, “We can decide to not enter into conversations” with those implicit biases surrounding identity. This message is right in line with Keo’s New Thinkers as she hopes to bring in young people with new ideas to solve the world’s issues. The truth of this becomes apparent with Nadine, who made a point to mention that the youth are her inspiration. For these three individuals though, leadership looks different. Nadine states that you “... have to create the space for it to be OK to not be OK,” and a lot of that starts with policy, like allowing the use of mental health days. Dr. Stewart, for his part, believes that the biggest part of leadership is showing up and engaging with the community. “Ninety-five percent of leadership is showing up,” he says. For Keo, leadership is bringing others along on a journey you’ve already been through. For her, having to be a bulldozer to be heard in spaces that she’s been in, is an experience that she believes people shouldn’t have to be in. What these leaders have in common, though, is that, despite some of their differences and approaches, they are all showing up and making a difference for a community that needs them, and in the long run, this will not only help the queer, Black community, but it will help the queer, Black community thrive in Denver. Photos courtesy of story subjects
DENVER PRIDE
Denver PrideFest Mixes In-Person and Virtual Events by Denny Patterson
A
lthough small gatherings are slowly becoming safe again, large-scales events can still pose a risk. That is why Denver PrideFest will mix in-person and virtual activities to create a hybrid event this year. The celebration, hosted by The Center on Colfax, will take place June 26-27 and was planned to ensure the safety of all participants. “We are not going to be Civic Center Park with half a million people,” Events Director John White says. “This year, we came up with the idea of doing Pride hubs. We are partnering with 10 locations around the city and creating opportunities for people to have a drive-by Pride. We also tried to reach out to partners in the community that were not just focused downtown, so that we could focus on areas of Denver suburbs where people might not want to drive so far just to get to one of these Pride hubs.” Each hub will provide participants with smaller, safter gatherings to celebrate Pride with the community, with each hub following COVID-19 guidelines. Events will include a family-friendly hub with story time and kid-centric booths featuring outdoor music at the Denver Nature and Science Museum; The Center on Colfax will host an outdoor event featuring food trucks, a DJ, and rooftop entertainment; and the Sie FilmCenter will host a movie event. Some events will have capacity limits and ticket requirements. Denver PrideFest will also feature an in-person, 5k run in Cheesman Park where runners will choose one of two times to start the run to maintain social distancing, and a virtual version of the run will be available for those who would rather complete the race using their own route. Last year, Denver PrideFest was completely virtual. According to White, the response was overwhelming. “We literally had six weeks to turn around and make everything happen virtually. I said, ‘I will be happy if 100 people watch everything,’ and we had almost two-and-a-half million hits 1 8 OFM J U N E 2 0 2 1
between our YouTube channel, the website when everything aired live, and we were on Channel 7 for the parade through our Rocky Mountain PBS partnership,” White says. Because of last year’s success, the Center on Colfax plans to continue with virtual components for future festivals. “We are going to always keep a virtual component going forward for all our events,” White says. “We can reach people who are homebound or are not comfortable in large crowds. We have noticed that is a huge need within the community, so we are going to keep a virtual element.” Denver PrideFest is the Center on Colfax’s biggest fundraiser, typically bringing in more than $1 million to the organization to help support Colorado’s LGBTQ community. Usually held on the third weekend in June, this year’s celebration has been moved to the last weekend of the month. “We were grandfathered into the park situation, always that third weekend, and it always coincided with Juneteenth Music Festival,” White says. “It was presented to the city, and the city was gracious enough to allow us to move that weekend so we could give it to Juneteenth. In future years, if they choose to expand and make it larger, they could do that. We were also hoping to work with them to create some sort of Black Pride celebration, which looks like it will happen this year.” Another noticeable change about this year’s event is the entertainment component. While most Pride festivals have celebrity headliners and special guest stars, White says mostly local performers will be featured. “We are working with Rocky Mountain PBS again, and we are doing a special that will air three times during Pride that is going to feature not just local drag entertainers, but some vocalists, some bands, and we are also going to highlight what it is like to be a Black entertainer within the Denver community,” White says. White also wants to remind people to be smart and stay safe. “We have a responsibility to keep reminding people that we are still in an active pandemic,” he says. “They need to be patient because bars and restaurants are just reopening, and we want to support them as much as possible during Pride because they have been hit so hard during this. So, get out and support local!” For more information, updates, and to see a full list of hubs, visit DenverPride.org.
By Keegan Williams
D
enver Pride weekend takes place June 26-27 this year, and The Center has introduced Pride Hubs as an option for people who want to celebrate Pride by gathering physically, in-person. “While we recognize the pandemic is not over, we also acknowledge that the situation is much different this year than in 2020,” The Center says. “With a better understanding of how the virus spreads, as well as the rollout of COVID-19 vaccines to the public ahead of schedule, we are confident that we can safely return to limited in-person events for Denver Pride 2021.” Through the weekend, all around Denver, designated Pride Hubs will be available for folks eager to celebrate Pride in person at a multitude of venues. Along with the Pride Hubs, many of your favorite queer spaces will be open to celebrate and let loose with events, drink specials, and more. For those who want to stick with a virtual celebration over the in-person activities, or even plan for a mix of the two, The Center is also offering a number of virtual options as part of the hybrid celebration this year. Start planning for your weekend of celebrating ASAP with this list of spots around Denver eagerly gearing up for Pride weekend:
THE CENTER ON COLFAX June 26 and 27: The Center is turning their parking lot off Colfax into a mini-festival to feature food trucks, exhibitors, a DJ, and rooftop entertainment. lgbtqcolorado.org
DENVER MUSEUM OF NATURE AND SCIENCE The museum will offer an official family area to enjoy story time with drag queen readers, music, magicians, and other activities. They will have multiple options to attend one of these limited-capacity, outdoor events. Saturday, June 26 and Sunday, June 27: Slots available 10-11:30 a.m., 12-1:30 p.m., or 2-3:30 p.m. on Saturday or Sunday. secure1.dmns.org
SIE FILM CENTER Denver Film will have activities and movies set up at the Sie FilmCenter throughout the weekend. “Enjoy an outdoor bar, exhibitors, a stage with pop-up performances, a beer tasting with Ratio Brewery, and more,” according to the Denver Pride website. denverfilm.com
2021 COORS LIGHT VIRTUAL DENVER PRIDE PARADE While a virtual parade admittedly is not the same as the community and camaraderie folks get from the typical, inperson experience, the Denver Pride Prade is going virtual once more to give folks a safe, COVID-friendly option to enjoy the parade. According to The Center, 2020’s virtual parade had more than 400,000 viewers, and this year will feature a vast collection of “parade units” to really maximize the community feel of a traditional parade. Sunday, June 27: Virtual parade begins at 9:30 a.m. denverpride.org/pridefest/parade
PRIDE EVENTS
2021 DENVER PRIDE HUBS, VIRTUAL EVENTS, AND MORE
VIRTUAL AND IN-PERSON DENVER PRIDE 5K Denver Pride is also organizing a Pride 5K with options for folks who want to participate in-person and virtually. The virtual celebration allows participants to sign up as an individual or start a “team” with friends and family joining virtually. At the time of the event, participants are encouraged to partake in the 5K in their own neighborhoods. The in-person event works in a similar way, but will take place in-person at Cheesman Park. Saturday, June 26: Virtually, or at Cheesman Park 7 a.m. to 12 p.m. denverpride.org/denver-pride-5k-2021
HAMBURGER MARY’S This Denver favorite is eager to celebrate throughout the entire week leading up to Pride Weekend with a stacked lineup of multiple drags shows throughout. Tuesday, June 22: Drag show at 7 p.m. Wednesday, June 23: Drag bingo at 7 p.m. Thursday, June 24: Drag show at 8 p.m. Friday, June 25: Drag show at 8 p.m. Saturday, June 26: Brunch shows at 10:30 a.m., 1 p.m., and 3:30 p.m.; Drag show at 8 p.m. Sunday, June 27: Brunch shows at 10:30 a.m., 1 p.m., and 3:30 p.m.; Yass Queen drag show at 7 p.m. hamburgermarys.com/denver
JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER The JCC is holding a varitety of Pride-centric events all weekend! Friday, June 25: The community center is holding a Pride Shabbat Dinner. Saturday, June 26: Slip on your summer best; it’s a pool party! Saturday, June 26 and Sunday, June 27: Expect exhibitors, food trucks, entertainers, music, and more over the weekend! jccdenver.com
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Community resources
COMMUNITY AND MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES FOR QTPOC COLORADANS IN 2021 By Keegan Williams
BLACK TRANS ADVOCACY COALITION The National Black Trans Advocacy Coalition works to address a multitude of issues that effect Black, trans people in all communities. Regarding their mission, the BTAC states, “Through our national advocacy center and affiliate state chapters we work daily, advocating to end poverty, discrimination in all forms and its human inequities faced in health, employment, housing and education that are rooted in systemic racism, to improve the lived experience of transgender people. Our work is based in peace building, community education, public policy initiatives, empowerment programs and direct services.” Specifically, they offer free food boxes for Black, trans families in need; offer free transportation for Black, trans people who need accessible and safe rides; COVID-19 care packages with essential material; and mutual aid funds to Black, trans individuals in need. (Priority is given houseless individuals, youth and students, seniors age 55 and up, and people living with HIV.) blacktrans.org
NATIONAL QUEER & TRANS THERAPISTS OF COLOR NETWORK Many people benefits from therapy, but for folks with different backgrounds and identities, it’s all the more crucial to ensure that a therapist has an understanding of these often intersecting identities when providing care for their patients. The National Queer & Trans Therapists of Color Network describes themselves as “a healing justice organization that actively works to transform mental health for queer and trans people of color in North America. Together we build the capacity of QTPOC mental health practitioners, increase access to healing justice resources, provide technical assistance to social justice movement organizations to integrate healing justice into their work. Our overall goal is to increase access to healing justice resources for QTPOC.” The Network offers an interactive digital directory to help locate QTPOC mental health practitioners across the country, to date with more than 145 practitioners in the directory, increasing regularly. You can find the directory and more information by visiting their website nqttcn.com. inclusivetherapists.com 2 0 OFM J U N E 2 0 2 1
THE OKRA PROJECT For folks who want to get involved in community efforts behind the scenes, or potentially need extra assistance, The Okra Project was founded to help address “the global crisis faced by Black trans people,” specifically around offering healthy, home-cooked meals and resources to Black trans people wherever they can be reached. ”For Black people, in particular, the kitchen is such a place of family lineage,” says Founder Ianne Fields Stewart. “It’s a place of community. It’s a place of love. Daily life occurs in the kitchen. And so to have that kitchen be filled with someone who looks, loves, and lives like you, is a luxury and a joy.” The Okra Project has multiple programs, and although their COVID-19 relief fund is currently closed, they are still distributing all requested funding through their #OkraEats program, a response to limited food supply, rental discrimination, raising unemployment, and medication shortages, and to increase mutual aid funding to Black, trans people in need. They also have open applications to amplify Black, trans people seeking community funds and resources of any kind. theokraproject.com
ASIAN MENTAL HEALTH PROJECT Following the harmful and racist rhetoric from the Trump administration post-pandemic, the Asian Mental Health Project is a crucial resources dedicated to dispelling the misconception of mental health struggles as a sign of weakness and specifically focused on showing up for AsianAmerican communities. The Project focuses on educational programming, community events, and partnerships, hosting a weekly check-in each Wednesday for AAPI folks looking to connect. The Asian Mental Health Project is also open to collaborations and folks looking to get involved and potentially host check-ins. They also have a run a blog on their website with additional community and mental health resources. asianmentalhealth.com
COLORADO CRISIS SERVICES Right now, people need support for a multitude of reasons, sometimes in this isolated time just knowing there is someone else who is there to listen. For those times, Colorado Crisis Services is there to help, having helped more than 1 million Coloradans in need when they needed it most. Professionals are equipped to help individuals for a multitude of concerns, as specific gender and identity to more general issues like isolation, anxiety, or stress. They are available 24/7/365, and it is the mission of Colorado Crisis Services to strengthen the state’s mental health system by providing residents with greater access to crisis services any time they need it, regardless of their ability to pay. Colorado Crisis Services has a call and chat service, all free, confidential, and professional. Coloradans can reach a counselor by calling 1-844-493-8255 or texting “TALK” to 38255. coloradocrisisservices.org
BLACK PRIDE An important event in the celebration of heritage and history is finally coming to Denver. Black Pride will take place for the first time this June. As many know, and many have still yet to learn, Pride celebrations were created and continue to be used as acts of resistance. They were created to celebrate who we are, and with Black Pride in Colorado, the mission is the same: to celebrate, empower, and uplift those who have for so long, felt as if they have not been seen. This year, Black Pride celebrations will run for four days, beginning on June 17 and ending on the 20. Each of these events is shaping up to be quite the grand affair, and with the support of the community, they will be. Visit blackpridedenver.com for info on the upcoming events, and remember to celebrate yourself this Pride season!
LIBERATION DAY: PRIDE IS STILL A PROTEST The first Pride was a protest, and according to the organizers of Liberation Day, it still should be. “Community means being there for each other in the good and the bad, and Liberation Day is about self liberation, community liberation, and minority liberation,” says event founder Terra Caballero “That’s an aspect we can’t just forget just because some things, like gay marriage and rights for some people have progressed. That doesn’t mean that everyone can have the rights or can be as free as we are, and we need to remember where we come from.” “I wanted to have intersectionality, basically with the Black Lives Matter rally last year and all this political stuff coming together, it felt right,” says founder Kia Fathi. “Pride has always been a riot; Pride has always been a political movement. It’s time to go back to that. It’s fine to celebrate and have a good time, but we need to recognize where we come from.” The event will be broken into two parts. The first half of the day will be a celebration of diversity with music, games, and performances, as well as food from minority-owned food trucks. This part of the day will also feature a march from Cheesman Park to the Civic Center to continue the event. The second half of the day will feature speakers from direct action organizations, as well as political speakers, and there will be a vigil for the queer and BIPOC lives lost to violence over the past year.
Community Events
COMMUNITY CALLS
COMMUNITY LIBERATION DAY •11 a.m.-1 p.m.: Big Gay Field Day, Music, and Performances •1-2 p.m.: Community Speakers •2-3 p.m: Liberation March, Cheesman Park to Civic Center Park •3:30-4:45 p.m.: Liberation Rally Speakers •4:45-5 p.m.: Candlelight Vigil •5-6 p.m.: Political Performances
LIVE LIFE LOVE LIFE
11 LUXURY APARTMENT COMMUNITIES
D o w n to w n D e n v e r | D e n v e r Te c h C e n te r | B r o o m f i e l d | L i t t l e to n
AMLI.com/Denver
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THE STORY OF GENE DAWSON
photo by Geoff Story
OFM culture
FARM BOY, CITY GIRL by Denny Patterson
J
ohn “Gene” E. Dawson always dreamt of living his authentic self, but sadly, he grew up in a time when LGBTQ rights were not as acceptable as they are today. This resulted in some horrific backlash. In his tell-all memoir that came out last year, Farm Boy, City Girl: From Gene to Miss Gina details Dawson’s life growing up on a farm in Depression-era Iowa and spending his adult years living on the LGBTQ cultural edge of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and St. Louis, Missouri. “I started writing down my memories in 2004, and then I thought, I should write some sort of book,” Dawson says. “Everybody read the memories and liked them.” With the help Dawson’s niece, Tammy Dawson Bonnicksen, Farm Boy, City Girl: From Gene to Miss Gina was set into motion. “Tammy got all my memories in chronological order, arranged them, and edited them,” Dawson says. “Gene wrote the first part up to 1959,” Bonnicksen adds. “It was because he is such a great storyteller; all these relatives were saying, ‘You need to write this all down.’ I think a lot of people thought when he ended in 1959, ‘OK, what’s next?’ It took him 10 years to get everything together, and it was just a matter of when he wanted to finish and put it all together.” Dawson’s story, which is broken up into three parts, is a reality call for readers that we must never forget about the people within the LGBTQ community who came before us and fought for our rights. He says he knew he was gay about two seconds after he was born.
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“I was aware that I was different,” he says. “So, I say I kicked the closet door off the hinges when I was born.” Growing up during the Great Depression, the terms “gay” and “gender-fluid” were not used, so Dawson did not know if others like him existed. That changed when he found out his brother was also gay. “He liked boys too,” Dawson says. “We sought out books and academic paper to find out what we were, and I found a book called The Homosexual in America. I read it, and I told my brother, ‘I am one of those, and you are, too.”’ In Part Two, Dawson initially leaves the farm and begins transitioning into his new life as a gay man in Cedar Rapids and St. Louis and adopts the “city girl” persona of Gina, which was picked out by a drag queen friend. “She said I needed a name, so she called me Gina after Gina Lollobrigida,” Dawson says. “Although I am not Italian, when I had my hair dark, she said I looked like Gina Lollobrigida. So, I became Gina.” Unfortunately, a tragic incident sent him back to the family farm in Iowa. “It was like a tropical plant being moved to the northern hemisphere,” Dawson says. “It was completely different, and I had to really try and act masculine. My mother was in an accident that left her severely burnt, and she died six weeks later in a hospital. She said, ‘It looks like it will be up to you and your dad to raise these little boys.’ I had three younger brothers. I would have done it anyhow, but I told her she was going to get well. She looked at me like, ‘You know I’m not.’”
Photos courtesy of Gene Dawson
Dawson says it was like living in a police state. “You could be snatched off the street just because you were walking,” he says. “One time, when I was over in East St. Louis, these Caucasian detectives threatened to throw me off a building and then into the Mississippi River. The next time they pulled up, I took off running, and they sped after me in their car. I went running down alleys, jumped over fences, and it was pouring down rain. I finally got out of their jurisdiction. If they caught me, they really would have thrown me off a building. That was enough for me. I did not go back.” Dawson’s life story even piqued the interest of documentarian Geoff Story and was a topic of an article in The New York Times that also talked about Story’s LGBTQ history documentary, Gay Home Movie. He hopes his story helps young people, LGBTQ and straight, to have the confidence to be themselves.
According to Bonnicksen, Gay Home Movie inspired Dawson to continue with the book. “Gene was afraid to put the book out because he did not want to offend anyone,” she says. “The documentary gave him some confidence. I knew a lot of Gene’s stories, but I did not know all of them. There are a lot of defining moments, and it is amazing that he survived so much. Some harrowing stories can be found on pages 172, 183, 185, and 194.” Since publishing, Farm Boy, City Girl: From Gene to Miss Gina has received several important honors including:
OFM culture
The third part of Farm Boy, City Girl: From Gene to Miss Gina focuses on Dawson living an open, full existence as Miss Gina in St. Louis. He recounts multiple, harrowing tales involving police brutality, gay club life, and the unsung heroism of LGBTQ people in the Midwest years before the historic Stonewall riot in New York City.
Finalist, First Non-Fiction, Independent Author Network Book of the Year Awards, 2020 Runner Up, Nonfiction-Memoir, PenCraft Awards, 2020 Honorable Mention, LGBT, Royal Dragonfly Book Awards, 2020 Finalist, LGBTQ: Non-Fiction, American Book Fest Best Book Awards, 2020 Pinnacle Book Achievement Award, Best LGBT Memoir, National Association of Book Entrepreneurs, Summer 2020
Sadly, Dawson passed away at the age of 89 in “The worst thing you can do is live in fear,” Dawson September 2020, only a few months after the book’s release. says. “Just be yourself.”
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OFM culture
“
I am proud all day,
”
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Photo by Shavonne Wong
every day.
OFM culture
A TELL-ALL
WITH
BILLY PORTER by Denny Patterson
A
ward-winning actor, musician, and style icon is always looking for an opportunity to make an impact on others. Earlier this year, he was able to do that with two young siblings, 9-year-old Clint and 8-year-old Josey. Inspired by the kids’ unlimited imagination, Porter revealed a show-stopping, rainbow, LEGO crown, which is made from more than 12,000 LEGO bricks and features purples roses, giraffes, skyscrapers, and rainbows. The crown is part of the Rebuild the World Campaign, an initiative that celebrates the creativity of children, inspires them to imagine a better world, and showcases how play helps them develop skills such as selfconfidence, resilience, and collaboration. In a film released by the LEGO Group, Porter gives viewers a glimpse into the design process. He first met Clint and Josey in the United Palace Theater on Broadway and explored creative ideas for the headpiece through LEGO play. The trio inspired each other as a vision for the crown was born. Porter took some time to chat more about his most ambitious headpiece yet with OFM, as well as being an influential LGBTQ artist, what fuels his creativity, and upcoming projects. Can you begin by telling us more about your recent partnership with the LEGO Group on a new fashion creation? The LEGO Company asked me to collaborate with them on this project to show how creative children can be and bring that to the forefront of people’s minds. It is also a reminder to everybody that imagination is one of the greatest building blocks for children to survive in the world. Creativity and storytelling feeds into all forms and facets of life. I read a book a couple years ago called A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink, and he talks about how the traditional business world moving forward is going to need to embrace their creative, right side brains to be successful because the market now requires a story. People want a story; people want to be emotionally connected, and one can only be emotionally connected through creativity. So, for me, that is what this whole partnership has been about. This was also part of the Rebuild the World campaign? Yes! I believe that to rebuild the world, we all need to come together with compassion and love. Those are two fundamental, founding principles of art and being an artist. For me, it is exciting to have a platform that feels useful. I can be of use in some way to help heal our civilization.
You got to work on this project with the help of two young builders, siblings Clint and Josey. How much fun was it to create this with them? They were so sweet and so into it. I am 51; my childhood days are so far behind me, so it was wonderful to be reminded of the nuances that exist in naivete in our children. They are free. They come out free and unburdened from those of us who are already living and who already have our own prejudices. We place our values and our fears on our children, and it was just so beautiful to see these kids so free and so encumbered by the trials of life. Their imagination can go anywhere. What did you take away from this experience, and what do you hope Clint and Josey took away from it? I hope Clint and Josey took away the idea of just simply being yourself. Being your authentic self is the best choice to always make, even when it looks like it is not such a good choice. As for me, I took way the reminder that imagination is power. I read that the crown conveyed the message of self-love and acceptance. What other messages do you hope it sends? I think that was a pretty big one. ‘Love yourself ’ is the big message. Love yourself first. Therefore, others will be able to love you and possibly learn how to love themselves as well. Through your example, when you liberate yourself, you automatically liberate others. That is what I hope. I can also see it sending a message of pride. What does Pride mean to you? Oh, yes! Pride is also always there. That is a given to me, but I sometimes forget to say that because I am proud all day, every day, and I do not need a crown to give me that. Pride in oneself is also under the umbrella of loving yourself. How does fashion impact your work process and fuel your overall creativity? I am a first-generation, post-Civil Rights Movement, and I also grew up in the Pentecostal Church. Any time you went to church, it was a fashion show. I have always been into fashion. It is all about first impressions. You should always look sharp for your first impression. I came into this business, and I have been an observer of the different facets of creativity and how they all feed into themselves. I noticed a void on the Red Carpet, especially for men. In my experience, I have found there to be the masculinity game, the masculinity conversation, and the masculinity requirement outfrontmagazine.com 25
OFM culture
in this business. There are a lot of men who are bound in chains in terms of how they express themselves through their clothing. It is art. Clothing is art. Fashion is art. I am an artist, and I am going to express myself through my art. That is one of those facets. So, that is how I approach it, and that is why I love it so much. It is an extension of my artistry. In addition to fashion, you are known for your work on Broadway, TV, and film, and you are an outspoken advocate for LGBTQ and racial issues. Did you ever think you would become such an influential LGBTQ artist? Yes. I say that with no ego; I say that as a fact. When I grew up, there was nobody. There was nobody who looked like me; there was nobody reflecting back to me that I was enough; there was nothing. So, everything I do is intentional. I try to make everything that I do intentional. Yes, I know that I am an example. I know that I represent something that has not existed before in the mainstream in this way, and I want to harness it and use my powers for good as best as I can. You have to know what the power is so that you can wield the power. I have a power now that I know I have, and I am consciously choosing when to use it for good. Being a Black, gay man, what do you think needs to be done to ensure that we move toward a brighter future for marginalized people?
On a happier note, we cannot wait to see you as the Fairy Godmother in the remake of Cinderella. How significant is this role for you? Yes! When I was a kid, my biggest dream was to be the male Whitney Houston, and it is happening! I am playing the Whitney Houston part, y’all. I have arrived, honey. Come July, I will have arrived! What more do you hope to accomplish with your platform? I just want to make sure that our queer youth, and queer people in general, are being taken care of. We need examples and representation in the mainstream so we can see ourselves reflected back. That we know that we are OK, that we are not alone, and that we are enough just as we are. My hope is that my presence can create a space for people to live in the joy and peace of that. Before we wrap up, are there any other upcoming projects or anything else you would like to mention our plug? Look out for my memoir. It is coming out soon. I also started a new record deal, so I have some good music coming out this year, too. So, keep your eyes and ears open. I am always doing something!
Photo courtesy of RTW Creators
I think we all must turn inward and look at ourselves as individuals, and as a collective. Gay people are the most racist people I know. They are just as racist as everybody else. I sat on the board of the Empire State Pride Agenda for six years trying to get marriage equality passed. We got that shit done, and within six months, when the focus of the organization turned to transgender rights, all those white boys with their big, thick checkbooks stopped writing checks, and the entire organization had to fold after 25 years of existing.
Black people marching for George Floyd while a whole group of Black men beat up a transgender girl in a 7-Eleven, while marching for George Floyd! Get your houses in order. Everybody has to get their house in order. Period. We are at a reckoning, and it is either going to work or not. That is where we are. Insurrection or not? You see it right there. It is right in front of you. You can keep lying and fall, and we will fall if we keep lying. We will keep going down this road. Rome fell, y’all. Remember, we are not too big to fail. Sorry, you got me going [laughs].
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Clothing is art. Fashion is art.
by Keegan Williams
”
I am an artist,
When Pose initially premiered in 2018, it was a groundbreaking in the realm of queer and trans, BIPOC representation. It was praised for portraying the stories of Black and Brown trans people, acted out by those very people, even with folks behind the scenes working to ensure these stories were accurately represented at all angles.
and I am going to
through my art.
As the final season airs, the question becomes, what will Pose’s legacy be?
”
For one, especially in comparison to other Ryan Murphy shows, Pose was never a huge ratings success. For reference, Season Eight of American Horror Story averaged a little more than 2 million viewers, while Pose’s highestwatched episode only drew in 1 million viewers. Despite the conversations around Pose, it was never considered must-watch, mainstream cable. While Billy Porter won an Emmy in 2019 for Best Supporting Actor, the show’s mostly trans and nonbinary cast have consistently been ignored. Pose received five Emmy nominations in 2020, and none were for any of the trans and nonbinary stars, even though they have been consistently praised for their performances. Producer Janet Mock recently shed some light on her frustrations with the industry in this regard, saying the industry has stomped all over her and other stars of the show. “Fuck Hollywood,” Mock says. “Does this make you uncomfortable? It should. It should make you fucking shake in your motherfucking boots. This is speaking truth. This is what Pose is.” Even since Pose aired, there have been even more shows emerging with queer and trans characters at the core of their story, so many of the long-term impacts of the show are likely still yet to make their appearance.
photo by Lev Radin
express myself
OFM culture
THE LEGACY OF POSE
And at the core of things, even though the show often tackles tough issues, it was never solely focusing on trauma or tokenizing anyone. Viewers often see representations in Pose that had yet to be seen on television. So, while Pose will surely leave a historic legacy, it also shows just how far we still have to go.
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OFM gallery
N3PTUNE Raw
REAL
Rebellious
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photos by Julius Garrido
by Veronica L. Holyfield
OFM gallery
I
n the game of entertainment, there are many artists who are followers. Capturing an essence of what is popular, there is safety in staying within the margins. For Denverbased, pansexual, experimental-pop musician N3ptune, taking risks is all he knows. Fearless self-expression has catapulted the young creative into a new realm of bending expectation, confidence without compromise, and boldly confronting cynicism. Reality has it; grit runs in his blood, and passion drives dreams into actuality. Describing his music as avant garde, N3ptune blends genres in a way that is unmatched. Layering dirty, electronic beats with dark, moody melodies and bass lines that honor the ancestors of hip-hop and blues, his work is hardcore and unsuspecting. Far surpassing aspiration, his insistent and urgent defiance delivers N3ptune to the realm of trailblazer. “It’s all about honesty for me; a lot of what I see is very cookie-cutter, and I’m not a cookie-cutter kind of artist,” N3ptune explains. “As a Black man, especially in music and entertainment, what is portrayed is not authentic.” With a futuristic vision, N3ptune is engulfed by his art constantly, and for him, songwriting and performance is not conveyed through an alter ego: what you see is what you get; every time, all the time. Taking what he calls “a mainstream approach to underground music,” ultimately what keeps the fire ignited in his artistic identity is anything that pushes the boundaries. “I’m going to do what I want, it was just a matter of coming into it,” N3ptune says when describing how he learned to trust his inner, artistic voice. “I’ve always had this spirit, this knowing, and I’m aware of what I want.” Since 2017, N3ptune has released track after track that show how multi-dimensional he is, as every song weaves through the trademark elements of underground electropop yet vastly differ from one to another. From the steady, catchy beat of “KRY,” to the vocal, baritone riffs of “Electric Cowboy,” to the hardcore, heavy rap stylings in “369,” the crisp production value mirrors the need to perfect each and every piece of work that he releases. “I’ve started learning how to perfect my craft; I’ve learned how to be meticulous with my work,” N3ptune explains. “My inspirations are Prince, Michael Jackson, Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, James Brown; they are like architects of their field, legendary, God-like at what they do. One thing they have in common is their work ethic and how meticulous they are, they do not settle.” For N3ptune, fashion is another way in which he can fully express that embracement of self-trust. Seeking out custommade pieces by Black-owned businesses and designers, he displays his Blackness in a way that is both inherited roots and conceived prophecy. Creating his first line of N3ptune merchandise has also been a way for him to unify his vision and declare his authenticity.
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OFM gallery
“The song that the merch is tied to is ‘Pharaoh,’ which is a declaration of Blackness: Black culture and Black empowerment, not so much a stance on the events that are going on now, but simply coming into my own Blackness by speaking out Black spirituality,” he says. The latest single “Pharaoh” is in fact a direct calling out on the cultural differences between the connection of white privilege of Kings and Queens versus the ancient heritage of the African culture prior to colonization and stolen people. For N3ptune, his crown is his do-rag, his medicine is ancient Kush, his home is the essence of Egyptian Kemet. Unwavering in his approach to fully articulate his message, ultimately he wants people to feel something that resembles a spiritual awakening as they absorb his art. Whether it be a buzz that resonates deep down by his songwriting and beat production, a portal that is opened from within by the accompanying visuals, in why he typically directs himself, or 3 0 OFM J U N E 2 0 2 1
a better understanding of oneself because of the limitless pursuit of raw emotion that N3ptune emits in his theatrical presentation, he just wants people to feel something. With a bold expression and an aversion to meeting the status quo, N3ptune’s sonic and visual aesthetic has an incendiary provocation that edges on ostentatious and flamboyance. This tendency towards androgynous exuberance has not gone unnoticed, and is even deemed controversial within the hip hop circuit. “I don’t need to prove nothing to nobody, except to myself, but there’s a constant need it seems like to prove that I’m a man, to prove my masculinity most of the time because of what I wear,” N3ptune says. “Being amongst rappers constantly, I see misogyny on a daily basis. I do have a strong sense of femininity, and it is my place not to speak on behalf of women but to check men when they’re acting like fucking pigs.”
OFM gallery
“
I’ve always had this spirit, this knowing, and I’m aware of what I want.
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OFM gallery
Rebellion is synonymous to Pride, N3ptune explains, as he views his own attendance and performance at the Denver annual festivals as a downright protest against every bad thing he was taught about queerness growing up. In order to achieve something great, one must fully embrace who they are, the values in which they believe in, and be unafraid to stay steady on the course of action towards bettering themselves and those around them. N3ptune is unshakable in the pursuit of greatness, and in that comes determination and resilience. “The fact that I constantly hear something new, see something new, and always have a new idea shows me that my work isn’t done and that my time isn’t up yet. The fact that I’m constantly flooded 24/7 shows me that I have to keep going,” N3ptune says. “As long as I’m living, I can always be better and do more, and if there’s something to fight for, if there’s something to stand up for, then there’s still a reason to show up and show out.”
“
I don’t need to prove nothing to nobody, except to myself.
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OFM culture
Staying Creative During a Time of Darkness
Gavin Creel by Denny Patterson
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As people continue to get vaccinated and restrictions ease up, we will soon return to some type of normalcy. New York City was among the hardest hit in the early stages of the COVID-19 pandemic, but according to Mayor Bill de Blasio, he envisions bars, restaurants, and tourist sites to fully reopen July 1, and Broadway performances to return in September. Broadway theatres closed their doors on March 12, 2020 when Governor Andrew Cuomo implemented mass gathering restrictions, and the lights have been off since. This resulted in the loss of millions in revenue and thousands of performers and workers unemployed. Of course, many creators and artists began to livestream and produce digital content, but there is nothing like experiencing a live theatre performance. Broadway star Gavin Creel can attest to that. Creel made his Broadway debut originating the role of Jimmy Smith in Thoroughly Modern Millie, for which he received his first Tony Award nomination. Since then, he originated the role of Elder Price in the West End production of The Book of Mormon, performed opposite Sara Bareilles in Waitress, and received a Tony Award for his performance in Hello, Dolly! starring Bette Midler. OFM had the opportunity to chat with Creel about the devastating impact COVID has had on the performing arts, how he has taken these times of lockdown to be creative, and what he misses the most about live theatre.
It’s up and down. I think that is something you would hear from pretty much anybody, but I definitely have not enjoyed it. I have learned a lot, and I have been trying to find grace. Just trying to be gentler with myself. It was not a great year all around for many reasons, but the isolation and being alone was very painful for me. I think the best thing that has come out of this is my ability to say that and own that. Be like, ‘No, I am not OK,’ and that is fine. I grew up in the Midwest and was raised to be optimistic, look on the bright side, and try to find the positive in everything. I think that is an amazing trait to have, but the truth is, what I did not have as much or was not taught as much was how to feel those feelings that are going to come, regardless of how lucky I am. I have ignored them throughout most of my life. I am going to be so happy when we can get back to our lives, but I am not holding my breath because I know it is going to be for a while. I am trying to stay peaceful and be creative as much as I can. With the Broadway community shut down, what have you and your fellow performers been doing to help each other out during these unprecedented times? My closest friends and I, which I have wonderful friends in the industry, but I have lost touch with a lot of people because they have gone home, or they had to pivot and had to rent or sell their houses. There is almost 100 percent unemployment in our field, and staying in communication with my closest friends has been my lifeline. I also think I am a lifeline to them.
be inventive enough to get these things out there. If they don’t, screw it. We will find ways. We are determined.
OFM culture
How are you doing during these days of COVID?
What do you miss the most about performing live? The audience is the first thing that comes to mind because there’s that relationship that I love so much. I also miss collaborating. I miss collaborating with a band, sitting down with a background singer and finding parts, telling a guitarist where I want my chords to go in a song I have written, collaborating with arrangers who have ideas for live music I am writing, and I miss being in collaboration with other human beings to make something better than I could ever do on my own. We are learning, and I can get by, but it is so much better when you collaborate with other human beings. I really, really enjoy being enhanced and lifted by other human beings without them even trying. Just them being themselves and having their energy getting, that makes me go, this is what I want to make in the art world. This is what I want to use for my voice, my writing, my acting, movement, everything. The biggest thing I want people to feel when they leave the MET show, that will hopefully go on to become a theatre piece that I will get to do everywhere, is that they will leave feeling creative and possible. They will feel like they are floating six inches off the ground. I miss the connection and collaboration.
I have also been trying to stay active with Broadway Cares as much as I can and have the energy to donate to them and donate to other causes that I know are important. That makes me feel like I am doing something to help people that I cannot be in touch with, see, or be in the presence of. So, I am trying to find ways to help remotely.
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What do you think will happen when Broadway reopens? Oh, man. There is a lot of uncertainty right now, but I think there is going to be a renaissance. I pray there will be a renaissance. I think people are hungry to tell stories, and audiences are desperate to sit down and witness, even if they have to wear masks and face shields. I think people want to be in communion with one another, and they want to hear stories. I believe that is why we will continue to last and why the theatre is never going to die. We have had a life of screens this past year. ‘We are just going to release the movie right into your home.’ OK, but I kind of like popcorn and sitting with people. I like it when people are noisy and you have to shush them. I like cheering when Luke Skywalker wins the day. I like being with other people and sharing the experience. That is what theatre is. So, I would like to think that a lot of us writers have been working on things, and hopefully theater owners, producers, and everybody will
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Photo courtesy of Desmond is Amazing
OFM culture
DESMOND IS AMAZING LGBTQ Youth’s Number-One Advocate
by Denny Patterson Desmond Napoles was born to slay, and he wants to remind all LGBTQ youth that they are just as fierce. Napoles, also known as Desmond Is Amazing, first made a splash at the 2015 Pride parade in his home of New York. Since then, he has gone on to become a multi-awarded, LGBTQ advocate; outspoken, gay youth; genderfluid, editorial, and runway model; motivational, public speaker; drag performer; and published author. He also appeared at Drag Con and founded the Haus of Amazing, a drag community for kids and a supportive group for parents and guardians for LGBTQ, gendernonconforming, and gender-creative youth. In April, Napoles added singer-songwriter to his list of accomplishments. He released his debut single, “We Are Amazing,” which is a Pride anthem for LGBTQ youth to live their true and authentic selves. In the music video, Napoles is joined by various drag kids including Manic Panic’s Tish and Snooky, as well as fans lip syncing to the song. OFM had the opportunity to catch up with Napoles to find out just how amazing he is. I would like to begin by talking more about your debut single, “We Are Amazing.” How excited were you to release this track? We recorded it in 2018, but some stuff happened, so we could not release the song. Then we had to redo the song, at least remix it, then finally, after those couple years, it finally came out. It was very exciting. Can you tell us more about the song’s message and why you wanted to write it? I wanted to write it to just let everyone know that you are amazing. Do not let anyone hate on you. You are a superstar.
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“We Are Amazing” was released just in time for Pride. As an LGBTQ youth, what does Pride personally mean to you? Being yourself and loving yourself for who you are, regardless of whatever. As long as it is not hurting anyone. You first came to prominence when you were 10 years old and declared your love for drag. Can you talk more about how you discovered your passion for drag? According to my mom, I liked to watch RuPaul’s Drag Race when I was young, and that kind of inspired me to try and dress up with the stuff I had around my house. What would you say are some of the benefits of children being exposed to drag at an early age? That drag is appropriate, and they can learn that it is OK to wear certain items, even though people say not to. You can have fun doing what you love and dressing up. You can dress up however you want to be. What are some future goals you would like to accomplish with your drag? Make another song, make another book, and hopefully, start the Haus of Amazing soon. Can you tell us more about the Haus of Amazing? It is going to be an online, secure, safe space for drag kids and their parents. My mom is finishing up the website right now. So, after the website is done, I hope we can get started on it. Once you are old enough, do you have any desire to audition for RuPaul’s Drag Race? No, not really. I used to, but now I feel like the show is just getting repetitive. So, not really. Living your authentic self has obviously led to some controversy and criticism. How do you respond to the haters? Pay the haters no mind. As I say in my song, ‘Pay the haters no mind; they’ll never be as fierce as you and I.’ Was it difficult for your life to suddenly be thrust into the public spotlight? A little, but I got used to it very quickly. You have had the opportunity to walk on the New York Fashion Week runway and collaborate with multiple designers and brands. Is there a designer or brand you would love the opportunity to work with? Yes, Anna Sui! Last year, you published your book, Be Amazing: A History of Pride. How has it been received? It has gotten a lot of good reviews, and I have seen a lot of kids read it. I am really happy how well it is doing. What more do you hope to accomplish with your platform? I hope to reach more children and tell them that it is OK to be you. Hopefully, the next generation of kids will learn to accept themselves for who they are. Before we wrap up, are there any other projects or anything else you would like to mention or plug? I hope somebody starts a magazine that will focus on drag kids. I also want to do a youth show someday. Like, a monthly or bimonthly youth show. Fun stuff that will help bring the community together.
SCOTT BERNARD Connecting Home Buyers and Sellers in Denver Metro, Vail Valley and Beyond Instagram: @swbernard @vail.colorado.scott P: 720-515-5091 scottwbernard.com
OFM culture
BEING
close to white ISN’T ALWAYS close enough Words and art by Lonnie MF Allen
I
used to awkwardly joke that Asians were honorary white people, which I had once read in a Vonnegut book. Of course, I would only say this in front of white people, and there would either be uncomfortable laughter or shock. I’ve since learned that this is an actual distinction made by Apartheid South Africa which included many East Asian races. Making the joke was the best way I could express how it felt when I was asked what it was like to be Asian. Often, the subtext of the question was, “What was it like not to be white in America?” My thoughts always directly went to, “I know it isn’t as bad as being Black, Hispanic, or Arab in this country,” and I would coyly offer up the honorary white joke.
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Cataloging all the ways that I’ve hurtfully been deemed other in America was often too painful for me to express in casual conversation; my attempts to be flippant were designed to change the subject and maybe get a laugh. But I don’t easily forget a lifetime of racism: Chinese/Japanese/Dirty Knees/ Look at these, Chinese Japanese/Dirty Knees. Ching-chong! Why is your face so flat? Why are your eyes like that? Chinese fish-face! Kids would often pull their eyes back, but the mocking doesn’t stop in adulthood: Where are you from? No, where are you really from? Learn to read Engrish! Like many marginalized people, you learn to push that pain down.
THEN DONALD TRUMP WAS ELECTED. I knew Donald Trump was racist when I watched Ken Burn’s The Central Park Five documentary. I was familiar with his othering of the kids accused of the murder in Central Park. He was willing to pay for a full-page ad in the New York Times calling for their execution. He also paid for a full-page ad in the New York Times costing $100,000 in the 80s to bash Japan, explaining they were purposefully undervaluing their “weak yen” against the “strong dollar,” a criticism that he nearly verbatim just transferred to the Chinese as their prominence in our culture grew. I mean, Japanese and Chinese are basically the same, right? I knew Trump was being racist when he freely acknowledged the Chinese hacking while simultaneously dismissing the Russian hacking in the same way America imprisoned Japanese-Americans for our safety but not so much for German-Americans.
THEN CORONAVIRUS HAPPENED. When I had first heard coronavirus was coming out of China, I winced as I did when I heard about the bird flu, or swine flu coming out of China, I’m guessing similarly to how ArabAmericans and others brace themselves when first hearing about a terrorist attack. I knew this would be another way in which white Americans would view Asians getting what was coming to them, as they were unclean and/or prone to eating disgusting things. I wasn’t shocked when Trump spouted his awful rhetoric of Chinavirus or Kung Flu. I hate to admit it, but Kung Flu actually elicited a chuckle from me for how basic you could get with racism. I knew it would induce violence, but honestly, that violence against Asians has always been here. Once in college, I was walking back to my dorm room at night when a guy ran out and shoved me into the bushes. I got up, and we fought for a moment. During a pause, when we were just standing there looking at each other, he told me to go back to my country, spit at me, and walked away. I found out he was a raging racist, that his dorm room was draped with a confederate flag, and he hated anyone not white. I would later drop out, and he would graduate, but I know, all things considered, I was still lucky. I’ve always tried to check my privilege even before I knew what that meant. I know how lucky I am to be a cis male. Asian women and LGBTQ folks often receive similar racism by at least two-fold. My heart breaks for all those people who have been brutally beaten and killed in this past year from AAIP hate, and it needs to stop. I was in awe when the Atlanta sheriff said that the shooter was “having a bad day.” Like many, I quickly wondered if the same empathetic courtesy would be extended had the shooter not been white or even an “honorary white person.” outfrontmagazine.com 39
OFM travel
Enjoyable Spaces Requiring Masks On Your Faces Five Destinations Open for Visitation During The Healing Period Of COVID-19 by Sarah White
H
as your wanderlust’s spirit been aching for freedom? Have you been itching to travel places that may be off the beaten path? Here are five destinations that may peak your interest and alleviate the “stay-at-home” blues. All five destinations are in the Lower 48.
750 miles of Empire State Trail
NEW YORK TO CANADA BORDER As of December 2020, all 750 miles of Empire State Trail have been completed. The trail runs through New York City via the Hudson and Champlain Valleys to Canada, and from Albany to Buffalo along the Erie Canal. The trail is 75 percent off-road, ideal for cyclists, hikers, and runners. Now named the nation’s longest, multi-use trail, the trail provides a “safe and scenic pathway for New Yorkers and for tourists to experience New York State’s varied landscape.” Lieutenant Governor Kathy Hochul comments, “The completion of the 750-mile state trail not only makes physical connection between locations across the state, but it continues to build on how we are reimagining our natural wonders and historic corridors as a source of recreation, economic development, and tourism in New York State.” The Empire State Trail connects to 20 other regional trails, creating one uninterrupted stateside route.
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Alcatraz East
PIGEON FORD, TENNESSEE Home to some of America’s most notorious and horrific history, Alcatraz East is a museum that encompasses all things serial killers and criminal events. The museum boasts collections of historical, “criminal” artifacts such as Ted Bundy’s VW Beetle and OJ Simpson’s White Bronco, plus crucial belongings of Bonnie and Clyde, John Wayne Gacy, Charles Manson, and more! Alcatraz East’s goal is to “share the connection between events such as these and how they affected our country through oneof-a-kind objects.” Visitors can explore American horror history from a unique and up-close perspective by exploring five different galleries that scrutinize and display criminal profiles, criminal artifacts, and victims’ stories, as well as discover critical information about crime prevention and forensic science. Alcatraz East has more than 100 interactive displays to experience and learn about America’s criminal history. Alcatraz East is open daily from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m.
Monterey Bay Aquarium
MONTEREY, CALIFORNIA Monterey, a small-but-wondrous beach town located on the rugged coastline of Central California, is home of the Monterey Bay Aquarium. While many of the buildings in this beach town present a strong relationship between site and community, nothing comes close to the intimacy the Monterey Bay Aquarium flaunts between the aquarium and the open waters of the Pacific Ocean. The Monterey Bay Aquarium, expanding 320,000 square feet, stands on the precious shorelines of Monterey Bay. Home to more than 35,000 sea animals and plants, the Monterey Bay Aquarium focuses on regional animals and habitats that occupy the Pacific Ocean it touches. The Monterey Bay Aquarium "blurs the lines between museums and natural habitat" in many ways, including having expansive, open windows looking out into the ocean, continuously stimulating its visitors with never-ending, transitional observation of ocean life indoors and outdoors.
Natural Bridge Caverns
SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS Nearby in San Antonio, the Natural Bridge Caverns are the largest, commercial caverns in the state of Texas. The deepest part of the caverns available for tourism is 180 feet below the surface. The tourist destination offers three different exploration packages to choose from. The “Discovery Tour” is the most popular tour, as it includes illuminating, “state-ofthe-art,” LED technology. This package comprises a half-mile exploration “of the most spectacular show cavern in Texas.” The second package is the “Hidden Passage Tour.” This tour is unique because it examines the cave passages in light and darkness combined to increase exploration stimulation in the underground chambers. Hidden Passage Tour offers the unique experience leaving guests in the cavern in total darkness. For those who want the ultimate experience, the third package is called “Combo,” which includes both tours. The caverns are still slowly developing and evolving, ready for visitor exploration daily from 8:45 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.
UFO Watchtower
SAN LUIS, COLORADO Colorado’s oldest city, San Luis, is 223 miles from Denver. This historic town is home to a supernatural attraction. For visitors desiring a wild experience, San Luis homes to multiple vortexes of energy. The UFO Watchtower is an “off the road” attraction which keeps visitors curiously coming back and locals regularly looking up into the sky. The Watchtower rests upon an area that is said to have “powerful magnetic pulls within converging vortexes” and portals into other dimensions. Opened in 2000 by Judy Messoline, the UFO Watchtower has become a landmark in the San Luis Valley. The tower itself stands 10 feet tall and presents a full, 360-degree view of the area, providing an allencompassing chance for the extraterrestrial and supernatural seekers an opportunity to spot and experience UFO sightings. Hours of operation are 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., weekends only.
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OFM dining
Aperitivo Brings Understated Elegance to Gunbarrel by Ash Trego
L
ocated in North Boulder, the Aperitivo Bistro has been spicing up the quaint, Gunbarrel neighborhood with inviting, inventive, and locally sourced cuisine since July of 2017. Aperitivo is the posh, younger sister of Longmont’s hot spot, Urban Thai, where they have been a fixture since 2013. The partners in crime; Edward Vanegas, Miguel Vazquez, and Joseph Zeigler, along with their multifaceted staff, bring an impressive collaboration of hospitality experience and education to the table. This unique dining spot exudes an atmosphere of simple, understated elegance. Cool, slate gray adorns the walls, high ceilings, and sleek, concrete floors and minimal adornment may surprise the eyes at first, but just wait and see what happens when the food and drink hit the tables and happy, hungry diners fill the seats both inside and out on the spacious patio. The place springs to life! The owners believe that “It is the food and the people we prepare it for that makes this a truly special place. We want the emphasis to be on the things that matter most to us.” The diverse backgrounds, extensive travels, and exposure to world-wide culture serve as the inspiration for the melting pot of culinary creativity that shines through in the innovative and ever-evolving menus at Aperitivo. Chef Vasquez is originally from Oaxaca, Mexico (the motherland of glorious Mole y Mezcal), and he feels that his birthplace, along with the many places he has traveled to over the years, are where he gleans much of his inspiration in the kitchen. He gathers recipes like one might collect souvenirs and brings them back with him to create the dishes that he prepares in the kitchen at Aperitivo. Hence the theme of “global fusion cuisine” throughout this culinary tour de force. The proof is in the pudding when it comes to innovation and originality for Aperitivo in the menus they serve up. Diners are likely to see delicacies like Congee (an Asian-inspired porridge) and delectable Spanish Paella to name just a couple of favorites
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that the loyal patrons from near and far have come to love. Other mouthwatering specialties include the crispy crab burger with sweet chili and chipotle aioli, creamy and spicy Panang curry, rustic beef bourguignon, and oven-roasted mahi mahi with mango cilantro coulis. A side of sizzling, parmesan truffle fries or some house-baked French bread with olive tapenade will get your taste buds primed for the main course, and a glass of Colorado-made wine or beer will wash it down. For the more adventurous imbiber, house mixologist Tyler Goddard, a Boulder Escoffier grad and master of his craft, is there to create a magical elixir just for you. The rosemary gimlet and bacio del limone are two excellent choices. With the goal of serving the freshest food made with only the best ingredients available, the chefs do their due diligence every day, as they source ingredients and make their fine fare from scratch as much as is possible. After all, if you start with the best, you finish that way as well. During such a trying time, especially for restaurants, Aperitivo strives to provide every diner with a memorable experience and, although many events like the popular, Aperitivo-hosted EATS @ Gunbarrel, a multi-food-truck-and-music event on Sunday evenings, are temporarily on hold due to the pandemic, they offer outdoor, “igloo” dining (with a reservation) and are working of putting together some festive, winemaker dinners and other events to entertain and bring festivities to the neighborhood and all who come to partake. It is no secret that restaurants are a dime a dozen in this day and age, and most of us have been to a great many of them. What sets these guys apart is that they are not a chain; they do not follow the rules of the masses, but they keep their fingers and eyes on the pulse of the culinary industry and do their best, every day, to bring really good food to the table.
Mei Chen makes tiny hands. She makes hands in all poses, with skin and nails of all colors, and all kinds of accessories. And in that simple act, although she started out with the goal of making something cute and memorable, she makes a big impact. “I started out making them as sculptures and not earrings, and they were bad,” she says, laughing. “And then, years later, I started doing it again and trying to force myself to get better at it. I was like ‘If I just keep doing this, they will look less bad.’ I happened to have earring accoutrement, and I decided to do earrings.” Realizing that tiny sculptures, while cool, aren’t exactly huge sellers, she decided to make the hands in pairs and turn them into earrings, and they caught on. “When I first started doing it, my friends were like, ‘Oh, can I get one of those?’ and I was like, ‘You really want that?’ And it just kept going like that and became a business, which was not what I had intended at all.” Despite their simplicity, the hands, crafted with different skin tones, empowering gestures, nail colors, and other additions appealed to people who saw themselves in the art. From Black hands with rainbow nails to hands giving the middle finger or holding vibrators, there was something for everyone. “When I started making them, I wanted someone to look at the hands and go, ‘Someone made this for me; they had me in mind when they did this,’” Chen says. “That was the whole point of doing this.” She also identifies proudly as a bipolar, queer, and BIPOC artist, celebrating the intersections between her marginalized identities. “I think that a big part of what makes my hands special is that I am specifically making them because I am very open about my identities as a bisexual, bipolar, Asian woman, and
Photos courtesy of Mei Chen
Mei Chen
by Addison Herron-Wheeler
OFM art
The Art of Tiny Hands and Big Concepts
because of that, because I’m proud of these things, I wanted other people who have these identities to be proud too. For mental health, I made this piece that I call ‘remember to take your meds,’ and tried making miniatures of the pills I actually have to take. My intention was to have medication to be normalized because I think a lot of times when people think of medications for mental illness, they think of it as a crutch. I need my meds to live, and I’m not going to make myself or anyone else feel bad about that.” In addition to these ideals, Chen puts her money where her mouth is and gives back to the community when she can. When she first started making hands, she included Black Power fists and gave money to the George Floyd Memorial Fund. She also gave back on Native American Heritage Day and has donated to help end violence against Native women. And, as an Asian American, she wanted to participate in the movement to stop Asian hate. “I looked up a bunch or organizations to donate to, and trying to pick one was kind of hard because, unlike over the summer with George Floyd, who was the biggest name in that movement, Asian people keep getting murdered in batches, so there isn’t just one face,” she laments. “So, I didn’t know which person’s family to give to because there are literally so many, which is fucked. But I settled on doing the Asian Mental Health Collective because Asian people don’t like talking about mental health. So, I thought it was so important to help get to a place where we can talk about it more.” Now, despite starting the business as a way to make art, make others feel included, and give back, she is able to spend all her time on creating and selling her jewelry. She has been able to grow her brand organically by reaching out to the community. “It’s so funny, because people ask me if doing TikToks is part of my marketing strategy,” she says. “I have found if you make a really messy story, like something you read that you found online, people really like that. And I make YouTube videos that are just me talking, which isn’t really marketing, but people like those. And I reach out to magazines like this and share my story.” If you want to help Chen continue to make a living off of art and still find a way to give back, you can find her tiny hands at etsy.com/shop/TheMeitriarchy.
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ákoum
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OFM music
Photo courtesy of Vákoum
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vulnerable love
OFM music
SPEAKING THE LANGUAGE OF by Veronica L. Holyfield
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hedding a saturation that took place during the writing and recording of the album Linchpin, the band Vákoum have arrived in a space where they don’t need to hide anymore. The project is led by musical and life partners Kelli Rudick and Natalia Padilla, and the complex and hidden messages that reside with their signature, tonal complexities and metaphoric lyricism were once the only way the two could communicate. The language of life, love, loss, trauma, and unresolved resentments buried deep within their art, and as a strain of trust and willpower arose, their music became the only language in which they could express their innermost selves. The pair originally met in 2012, when Padilla signed up for a guitar clinic that Rudick was holding. Having been familiar with Rudick’s work already through a recorded collaboration with a band called The Books, her distinctive style of innovative guitar playing sparked a curiosity within Padilla. With ulterior motives, the two extremely talented musicians formed a fast friendship, which then developed into romance, which then developed into starting Vákoum. However, that melding of art and life didn’t always go smoothly. “It was tough in the sense that we both did a solo thing before we met each other, and we’re both very strong-minded when it comes to ideas. If you get an attachment to something, it’s hard to reach a meeting point, but now there’s a deeper respect, you know, for the things that come out,” Rudick explains. The nature of art meets in an intersection of vulnerability and experimentation, an intimate experience that took the two some time to transition from independent process to critical feedback, and ultimately evaluation, influence, and collaboration. The band name Vákoum arose from a brainstorming moment in an Italian restaurant and was a conceptual manifestation of their sound; directly derived from the Hebrew word meaning vacuum. Leaning into their desire to take things in, to listen, to process, and then experience the outflow of ideas, Rudick and Padilla felt that in order to musically create something so unique and original, they had to be almost in a state of nothingness, a completely empty vacuum, to receive the inspiration they were wanting to eventually produce. That unrivaled desire to create something anomalous led them to a land of experimental pop with a resonance that is moody, textured, abstract, and anxious. The multi-instrumentalists weave multi-effect processing and synthesis, refining their guitar competencies within the rhythmic realm of production effects that rival EDM and techno genres. Featuring Bulgarian-
inspired vocals that nestle within a Bjork-esque vein, the haunting elements draw into the subconscious mind and spark a curiosity and creativity in the listener. Linchpin is the convergence of all of the things they expertly execute working simultaneously together while conflict and introspection emerge. The new album stands as a representation of a point in time where life became art, and with that came growing pains through the past, living in and letting go of childhood trauma and the emotional wreckage that existed long before the two ever met. “The writing process is more personal, but then it’s like the way in which we can talk to each other sometimes, maybe the only way that is super deep into the heart,” Padilla says. The discomfort in sharing some of the intimate details of not only why they were inspired to write the songs they did, but how they conveyed the depths of their emotions to one another, is palpable. Rudick picks up where Padilla leaves off. “It’s the ultimate way of letting somebody into your world, because it’s beyond just words. I could sit and say, ‘Hey, these things you do, they make me feel a certain way.’ It’s completely different than when you put it in the language of music; it lives in a completely different realm.” The couple explain that while there may be pain conveyed in a lyric or melody, it doesn’t ever truly hurt because it is delivered with beauty and necessity. Allowing music to act as a therapist, it gives them permission to say the things that may be hard to say, but ultimately required. This, in turn, allows them to express themselves and grow closer in the process. When the harmony of composition and songwriting comes to life and is completed, it surpasses every other feeling. Rudick explains that when a song comes together, they find a space of gratitude for the powerful force that is connection through creation. “We usually cry, like seriously, we just look at each other because we both have this burning sensation in our eyes and our chests; it’s like those tears are almost like your body’s intelligence. It just takes over you, and you let go of all the things; you realize, like, the outcome is so beautiful, and it’s so meaningful to our relationship,” Padilla explains. Vulnerability begets vulnerability, and when we can experience music, art, conversation, self-expression, and connection in a genuine and authentic way, it invites us to participate. As Vákoum take listeners on a beautiful journey of discovering who they are and what they are passionate about, it inspires us to let down our guard, speak our truth, and listen for what our intuition is truly saying. o u t f r o n tm a g a z i n e. co m 45
OFM music
OFM NEW MUSIC This month’s must-catch new releases from the artists you already love and the musicians you need to know.
Millicent
Songs to Feel To
Wolf Alice
Slayyyter
Blue Weekend
Troubled Paradise
Singer-songwriter Millicent is pulling from her Chicago-based roots while incorporating seamless nods to synth-pop, R&B, and even folk in this self-reflective, wistful, and resolved new album. Acknowledging the satisfying ache of nostalgia, Millicent takes an intimate dive into love, longing, and letting go in Songs to Feel To. The tracks tempt the mind to take a trip down memory lane while bringing forward an urgency to change and find the community that will nourish beautiful, human growth. Releases June 2, 2021.
The Britain-based four-piece release their third, full-length album and have risen with a new zeal and graceful, atmospheric poise. Blue Weekend continues the signature, pin-sharp choruses paired with rock-solid lyricism, searching for the compromise between adventure and sadness. A change of pace from the alt-rockers, the album is full of energy, propelling the band into a new-wave, pop-grunge hybrid with hauntingly melodies that offer a more sophisticated pleasure palette. Releases June 4, 2021.
The dawning of a new era has arrived for the self-made pop star who isn’t afraid to raise some hell: Slayyyter. Featuring Y2K pop stylings, she isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty with a blend of raunchy, guitardriven tracks that toe the line of alt-nu metal and bubble-gum fun. Spinning themes of disastrous love, boredome, and bombastic villains, Troubled Paradise brings emotion and inspired melodies to modern, chart-topping tracks. Recommended for the rowdy and pun-enthused. Not for the faint of heart. Releases June 11, 2021.
GEISTE
Saint Sister
Retrogrades The new, five-track EP delivered by London-based, dark-pop artist Geiste is an intimate exploration of some of the most difficult times in her life. Themes encompassing hurt, abuse, and toxic relationships are delivered by means of delicate, dancing synths; bouncing, electronic percussion; and swirling, celestial vocals. Equal parts moody and intricate, Retrogrades is richly textured and dives into dark soundscapes with cold, heavy sounds that represent the heavy emotions that coexist with loneliness. Releases May 14, 2021.
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Where I Should End
The HIRS Collective
Electro-folk duo Saint Sister release their sophomore album, delivering a delightful, mystical, and delicate set of tracks that inspire and invigorate. Ever-creating a sonic resonance that weaves their tight, vocal harmonies with electro-acoustic harp and synthesizers, Where I Should End elevates the pair into a fresh, pop-infused melodic energy. Heart and enthusiasm paired with a sparkly, airy essence see the band striving, and arriving, to an evolved, contemporary avenue. Intricate layers of strings, harp, drum machines, and piano showcase their songwriting power as they approach the new music with honesty and earnestness. Releases June 24, 2021.
This prolific, Philly-based, DIY punk collective have their own, signature brand of political, angsty, and femme-powered grindcore. Clocking in at over 100 tracks that rip and shred, HIRS’ The Third 100 is the ultimate soundtrack for your worst day of work or a heated argument with a homophobe. Loud, queer, and proud, get familiar with the DIY, punk collective that is delivering primal, scream therapy for transfeminine rage. Heavy, hard, fast, and furious, just like it should be! Releases June 25, 2021.
The Third 100 Songs
photo by Maxwell Poth
HIGH NOTE VINCINT
There Will Be Tears The debut release from pop icon in the making, Vincint brings home everything you want from a summer, musthave album. As we wind up for Pride, There Will Be Tears is full of dance tracks that will make any playlist pure fire.
HAPPY
PRIDE
Fresh off the heels of his critically acclaimed, debut EP, The Feeling, this vocal powerhouse is taking his music to new heights with the queerly crafted, heartfelt release of the 10-track, full-length banger. In rapid succession, song after song features Philadelphia-based Vincint coming into his own as he moves to the forefront as an artist you need to know. Leading with his signature, dynamic vocals and strong, danceable melodies, the album’s driving beats explore themes of love, beauty, and sexy nights on the dance floor. Whether you want to get caught up in lustful passion or the fondness of sweet memories, There Will Be Tears delivers high-intesnity, fresh, and aspiring elctronic, fast-paced pop.
denverlibrary.org/pride2021
Releases June 11, 2021.
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OFM reads
BOOK REVIEW
“LIES WITH MAN” by Michael Nava
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lawyer has to defend someone on charges of murder. A typical plotline, right? Wrong. Lies With Man brings so much more to the table. Set amidst the backdrop of the AIDS crisis and an all-important, AIDS quarantine vote, Nava’s novel manages to skirt the line between heartfelt emotional drama and political thriller beautifully. The heartfelt, emotional drama of the novel features our protagonist, a man with his own demons. Nava uses that history to inform the romantic relationship that builds throughout the story. This relationship is a beautiful picture tainted by the external realities and judgments that surrounded them during that time. And while this is a story set in the past, the fear and external judgment that you can feel bubbling underneath the surface of every line the protagonist and his lover speak to each other, it is a judgment I am sure real-life couples have faced and can understand. The political thriller piece of this story is just as gripping. From the very first page, you are steeped in a story that at first seems to be a simple disagreement of ideals; a story that is so human. As the story progresses, however, you come to understand that no matter how unintentional the harmful actions the pastor of Ekklesia were, he still personifies the hypocritical behaviors of the politicians the currently run the U.S. Nava makes you want to empathize with him, all the while recognizing the selfish and damaging behavior he exemplifies. Finally, when it comes to the actual antagonist of the story, he comes across as an almost cartoonish villain, until you take a moment to think of him. Nearly everyone in the queer community knows of someone like this. This person is not a shadowy figure who is rarely seen. They are our politicians, our faith leaders, our officers, and yes, sometimes even our family. With all of these pieces of the story combined, Nava has managed to weave an intriguing story that hits home and will leave you screaming at the words on the page.
CELEBRATE PRIDE WITH THE DENVER GAY MEN'S CHORUS
A free virtual event; register at dgmc.org/events. 4 8 OFM J U N E 2 0 2 1
So, how did earrings and queer men become linked?
An Abridged History of Earrings on Men and Queerness
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by Keegan Williams
ody modification in 2021 is hard to miss day-to-day. CEOs and professionals in all industries have full tattoo sleeves and facial piercings that would rarely be seen 30 years ago and are now commonplace. It’s hard to believe simply a man with an earring was ever taboo, but especially for millennials, especially those of us raised as boys, hearing the problematic “left is right, and right as wrong” mantra, it’s not as distant a conversation as we might think. Most people understand that body modification is not new; it’s been around for thousands of years, and its origins around telling stories about a person’s life, culture, and identity often mirror the reasons people embrace it today.
Even an earring, a single earlobe piercing, has a story and history.
I mean, history, like, thousands of years ago. The oldest mummified body from about 5,300 years ago demonstrated evidence of ear piercings, with archaeologist Howard Carter writing in his description that the Pharaoh’s earlobes were “perforated;” though no earrings were in the mummy wrappings, they were in the tomb. References to earrings are even older and can be found on clay tablets of Assyria and the papyrus of ancient Egypt, and men’s earrings often showed that person’s higher social status. Men have adorned themselves with earrings throughout history, and for a multitude of reasons. Just like tattooing, scarification, and other body modifications indicative of age, status, or wealth, the use of earrings on men shifted and evolved in meaning. In the Middle Ages, the prominent Catholic Church forbade ear piercing completely in that it was altering the body created in God’s image. Pirates, thieves, and people of lower class began to embrace the look in a sort of norm-defying middle finger to society. Flashing forward a bit, sailors in the early 20th century would often pierce their ears based on superstition. If their bodies
OFM style
were recovered after a sailing accident, the story was that an earring could pay for a proper burial. It was also said to represent a sailor who had traveled the world or survived a sinking.
Along with subtleties like “hanky codes” to discretely communication queerness to others, it was as early as the 1950s and 60s that men began to use earrings and jewelry to identify themselves as gay. However, the real momentum didn’t pick up until the hippie movement of the 60s and 70s. Like the pirates in the Middle Ages, and in a time of political unrest and cultural shifts, more people embraced fluid sexuality, gender, and identity expression, and ultimately, this time saw more women and men trying out earrings as a rejection of societal norms. “In a world where you can’t dress flamboyantly, that’s a very discrete signal,” says New Yorker David Menkes for a New York Times piece, “Piercing Fad is Turning Convention on Its Ear,” from 1991. From the 70s to the 80s, alternative, new-wave, and punk subcultures (scenes which were often queer to some to degree to begin with) embraced earrings and body modification to reject society’s expectations of people and their roles. By the 90s, following the counterculture scenes and decades of mainstream shifts, piercings were more popular than ever. In big cities, it wasn’t even unusual to see someone with a nose or lip stud. “We’ve never been busier,” says Dan Kopka, assistant manager of The Gauntlet body piercing studio in West Hollywood, in the same New York Times article. The studio has since closed its doors, but at the time of publication, it had just opened a new location in San Francisco, Owner Jim Ward calls body piercing an “outgrowth of my own sexual exploration and the things that were erotic.” Though countercultures pushed this trend to the forefront, once it was embraced by the mainstream, with more heterosexual men and everyday Americans trying out earrings came the now infamous phrase, “Left is right, and right is wrong.” This conversation around the origins of the phrase is ambiguous and inconsistent. As earrings on men hit the mainstream, the warning around getting pierced in the “correct” or “non-gay” way fluctuated, even based on where you were. In some cities and states, it was “Right is right, and left is gay,” and the regional and historic inconsistency shows the narrative was born from a game of cultural telephone; culture allowed straight, “mainstream” men to dabble in other forms of expression, but only under an arbitrary guideline of perceived masculinity and heterosexuality. Many queer people would scoff at the phrase to begin with, but even in 2021, men and boys are othered for wearing earrings. Some schools still ban boys from wearing earrings while girls are allowed, and many employers have it written into their dress code policies that male employees are not allowed to don the same earrings non-male employees can without hassle. Though the evolution of men and earrings historically is a seemingly small detail in the large sea of conversations around body modification, this shows we still have work to do to destroy the arbitrary, often violent and destructive, restraints of the gender binary and heteronormativity. o ut fr o ntm a g a z in e.co m 49
OFM style
Dirt Squirrel Providing Style and Comfort for Every Occasion
Photos courtesy of Dirt Squirrel
by Denny Patterson
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hen Wade Hopwo and Daniel Lypchuk founded the LGBTQ clothing brand Dirt Squirrel, they decided to level up the underwear game and help others along the way. With the hopeful return of Pride events just around the corner, Dirt Squirrel is on hand to provide customers with all the essentials. From a bold underwear collection that is comfortable and form-fitting, made from premium fabrics such as bamboo fiber, to premium, casual apparel that includes sweaters, T-shirts, crop tops, hats, and accessories, Dirt Squirrel items are sure to make a statement wherever you go. Who can resist eye-catching prints and cheeky slogans? Hopwo took some time to talk more about the brand with OFM, as well as navigating through the COVID pandemic and breaking into mainstream culture. You founded the brand in 2013 with your now exboyfriend, Daniel. Why did you two want to venture into business together? At the time, our relationship was budding. We were both in our final year of university, and we were taking a break from working on our final projects. One of these projects required students to essentially create the foundation of a business, so it was ready to launch and put into motion. Over a Skype call, we started discussing the final project and began daydreaming, imagining what businesses we would like to create and bring to fruition. The dream started to look like an exciting, attainable reality, so what began as a final project became the template for our future company and livelihood, Dirt Squirrel.
discounted price. This gives our customers the opportunity to save and having to choose between their favorites at checkout! The COVID-19 pandemic has impacted millions of small businesses around the globe. How has Dirt Squirrel been navigating and staying afloat? We genuinely thought that keeping our business alive through our breakup was going to be the ultimate challenge, but clearly, COVID had different plans. To say this past year was challenging would be an understatement. While it has been very testing and taxing, it has also had some silver linings. It has given us the opportunity to take a breath, step back, and look at areas we can improve and evolve. It has revealed areas we can focus on and new projects we can be passionate about. This new energy has been a big factor in driving us forward and keeping us afloat. Before we wrap up, what's next for Dirt Squirrel? Anything else you would like to mention or plug? We recently launched a rainbow Pride collection including a sweater, tee, long sleeve, fan and hat. Partial proceeds of these items benefit a Vancouver community group called Rainbow Refugee that supports people seeking refugee protection in Canada because of persecution based on sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression (SOGIE), or HIV status. We are also pretty obsessed with our metal straws and new packaging, which can be seen on our website, DirtSquirrel.com. If you fall in love with something while browsing our site, feel free to use the code: OUTFRONT for 20 percent off your purchase!
What kind of items is Dirt Squirrel known for? We are best known for our bamboo fiber underwear. We started the company with the intention of creating underwear that provided ultimate comfort, durability, and wearability for everybody, while also remaining eco-friendly. Bamboo fiber is known for its moisture wicking, anti-fungal, anti-bacterial, and hypoallergenic qualities, which makes our underwear perfect for sweating during exercise, running errands, workdays, or simply lounging on your favorite couch. Our snapping, or “thworping,” bamboo hand fans are also incredibly popular accessories, but the new frontrunners are our oversized, embroidered, terry cotton sweaters, the witchy one being a personal and crowd favorite.
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How would you say Dirt Squirrel stands out from other small, LGBTQ-owned businesses who sell similar products? A lot of other LGBTQ businesses focus on having a million different, provocative designs; busy patterns; and loud, graphic prints on average fabrics. Instead of doing this, we have focused on perfecting our patterns for a fit that is to be desired by men of all sizes and shapes. For example, the use of premium, bamboo fabric with our underwear will also make all the difference for comfort. We believe that true, classic, and sexy style is found in the basics, and because of this, we provide our Dirt Squirrel cuts in an assortment of eye-catching, impactful colors that can also be bundled together in personalized multi-packs at a
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OFM style
Beauty Beat Ride for Your Pride by Angel Rivera
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his June marks the 51st annual American LGBTQ pride parade held in New York City, and the 53rd anniversary of the Stonewall riots, which took place in the Greenwich Village neighborhood in New York. Now is an important time to not only commemorate the LGBTQ community of the past but to live as fiercely as we can. So, I am here to share some tips so you can slay the way you were meant to. Let’s start with the face: Before you master your brows and begin your foundation, let us talk about their shape. You may want to spice them up for your local Pride events, digital or physical. So, before you hit them with color, remember to outline your eyebrows with your face concealer so you can have the perfect shape. You’ll be able to easily clean up any extra pigments that like to fall onto your skin. And don’t forget, once you fill in the brows and blend out your concealer, you will have a perfect shape and a light-catching highlight that will leave people begging for your brow gal. Next, let us move onto the face base. Your number-one priority is to get your face snatched for festivities and everyday looks. First, if you want to display your Pride without using the same color patterns you might see others use, using the garage door look (solid color) on the eye while highlighting the inner corners of eyes with shimmer is a quick and beginner-friendly way to display some solid skills without complicating the look. For example, using a red matte as the base color on the right eye and an orange shimmer on the inner corner and using a green matte with a blue shimmer can make the eyes pop. Use a violet or purple lipstick and blue shimmer gloss to complete the roy-g-biv you are giving off. Finally, a black or white liquid eyeliner to wing out your eyes and keep you smizing if you have to wear a mask. NYX cosmetics makes an amazing, smudge-proof, liquid eyeliner that is hyperpigmented, and it is user friendly. However, you aren’t done there; let’s talk about your actual highlight! Whether you are using a matte, natural, or satin finish from your foundation, the perfect highlighter can step up your look. I know I am skipping contour, but if you are wearing a mask, attention will be on the eyes and part of the cheeks. The magic of highlighter is, it can go anywhere! Make use of one that blends well with your skin. Use a fan-shaped brush to take the highlighter and lightly dab your brow bone, the ridge of your nose, and the apples of your cheeks. You can also use it to bring attention to your clavicle or anywhere on your chest. A universal highlighter that looks amazing everywhere and on every skin tone is the Fenty Diamond Bomb; it is a universal skin luminaire that makes you look like a million doll hairs. Use these simple tips to impress your besties and explore your pride this season. Makeup is not just for the MUAs and TikTok stars but for everyone who wants to play and feel maximized. Remember everyone to stay beautiful, stay bold, and stay proud.
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shown and hidden from prying eyes, all culminating in a more diverse and perhaps superior range to express femininity. With that being said, we see feminine styles leaking into more traditionally masculinity styles such as the e-girl trend, the hot-girl-Meg, hip-hop reclamation, or Ariana Grande’s contagious, simple-but-iconic, baggy sweaters and jackets paired with thigh-high boots and heels and form-fitting dresses. We have yet to see many men in mainstream idol roles express gender queerness, with the exception of queer favorites Lil Nas X and Billy Porter.
OFM style
Beauty Beat
Both femininity and masculinity have been “defined” for a long time, but gender aside, try wearing that cute skirt from Shien you saw with your fave work shirt, and show off your hams! Or wear your Harry Styles, waist-high pants to elongate your legs and flaunt your masculinity. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt; your silhouette and calves will agree with you that those stripper heels make you look like you are the boss. Even when you actively choose to style yourself in a more fashionable light, you may be neglecting that child who liked to wear your mother’s heels, or the sibling who liked to dress like a member of the G-Unit.
Pride and Proclivity
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Take the time to embrace anything feminine or masculine that feels right for YOU to embrace. Be it your daily look, color theory, or form-fitting or form-distorting clothing, be the andro-id, handsome masc, or femme beauty you deserve to be. Remember to stay beautiful; stay bold, and stay proud.
by Angel Rivera
e you gay, trans, pan, demi, nonbinary, or an ally, we can all agree on one thing: We choose to look the way we do, but it is based upon who we are as individuals. This Pride season, we should really look at ourselves and think about the way we and others see ourselves, and smash those to pieces. Proclivity is the act of actively choosing one thing or acting over another without thinking about it. Despite thinking of ourselves as inclusive and welcoming, we ourselves are not welcoming or genuine with our own being, and sometimes our style reflects that. There are days where you want to wear a crop top, or days you want to wear a skirt or mom jeans, but you see yourself and stop. Instead, take the time to tell yourself what you love about the outfit. Whether your style is masc, femme, or androgynous, you can reclaim clothing styles for a new age. First, let us talk about what makes an outfit masculine-coded in our society. Of course, there are traditional forms of masculinity in clothing: straight edges, creased seems, a tucked hemline, and more recently, baggy clothing. These simple elements can help you choose how your masculinity is shown for the day. If femme is more your style, let’s talk about the keys to the divine feminine. Clothes that are flowy or drape over the body embrace a more feminine feel. Clothing that also explores a more expansive color theory such as pastels or cloud colors and neons can give the presence of femininity for men and masculine-aligned people. However, contemporary (Western) feminine styles focus on the way clothes hug the body and the areas of the body that are
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OFM cannabis
Puff with Pride It is time once again to get our Pride on, and this time, we’re actually allowed to leave the house to do it! Whether you’re taking to the streets to protest after smoking a J, or looking for an edible to help you loosen up before a fun night on the town, let cannabis be your guide for 2021 Pride! 1906 Bliss Cups 1906 can do no wrong, and we personally love their chocolate peanut butter cups more than anything else. They taste like everyone’s favorite chocolatepeanut butter treat, and at 5mg, they pack just the right punch for those who don’t want anything too strong. If you do like a strong high, treat yourself to a couple! Great for a day out at Pride when you want to feel euphoric and not be bothered by the crowds.
Good Chemistry Diamonds Diamonds, anyone? If you’re a concentrate fan, you need to try Good Chemistry’s diamonds. Pick out the crystals for your dab or vape pen to get a big kick of THC, and make sure to include some of the tasty sauce the crystals are in for awesome flavor. So good!!
Nové Chocolate Bars Who doesn’t need more infused chocolate in their lives? Nové are super classy, bringing you delicious flavors like raspberry bramble and caramel cappuccino. These make great gifts for that special someone you met and fell in love with last Pride, or a treat for yourself on a night in after partying with all your closest friends.
Must-Have Melts LivWell Full Melt CBD Caramel If CBD is more your thing, but you don’t want to compromise on the joy that a 10mg edible can bring, check out the Full Melt CBD Caramels. You get the awesome flavor of the originals but with the added benefit of the CBD. Melt into your caffeine-free tea for the perfect night’s sleep!
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Flower By Edie Parker Vapes If your biggest complaint about vapes is that they aren’t fabulous enough, you need to check out Edie Parker’s Flower vape pens. With cute, floral designs on the pens themselves, these fun, summer-inspired colors will fit in with your brightest, most colorful outfits, and the amazing flavors of the carts will brighten up any gloomy day. Plus, the pen works with most carts, so even if you run out of the flower carts, you can keep using the fun, colorful battery.
LivWell Full Melt Original Caramel The Original Caramels, which can be found at any LivWell Enlightened Health retail location, are 10mg each and taste really, really good, better than your average edible. For an extra-tasty treat, melt a few into your coffee, and watch your cares melt away!
Prideful Products Double Bear Premium Vape Honey Carts A good vape cart makes all the difference between a pen that barely packs a punch and one that gets the job done, and Double Bear by Terrapin are some of the best out there. Each strain has a unique flavor and high that feels like taking a dab in portable form, and the carts work with most batteries.
Balanced Kava Hailing from the South Pacific, Kava can be mixed into your favorite beverage and enjoyed to help with wellness and treat things like stress, anxiety, and insomnia. This awesome, balanced blend is the perfect way to medicate, whether you like to start your with a glass or wind down and relax after a long day.
Midas Touch Kratam This delightful, gold kratom is great if you are looking to get a good night’s sleep or have trouble relaxing and unwinding at the end of the day. The taste is masked well if you mix it in with juice or another delicious beverage. This is one awesome strain you don’t want to miss out on. outfrontmagazine.com 55
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INSURANCE
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OFM thoughts
American Queer Life
The Future of Us
On the home front in 2020, the Southern Poverty Law Center tracked 838 hate groups operating in America, 17 in Colorado, two specifically anti-LGBTQ: the Family Research Institute, and the Pray in Jesus Name Project, both in Colorado Springs. The other 15 organizations hate anyone who isn’t straight, white, and Christian, so it’s a fair guess queers would also be objects of their perverted patriotism. In March, a Colorado, bi-partisan bill enabling survivors of sexual abuse to hold their offenders liable regardless of time passed has been opposed by two organizations facing abuse allegations: the Boy Scouts of America and the Colorado Catholic Conference.
by Rick Kitzman As rainbow flags unfurl at Pride fests worldwide, hybrid celebrations (live and virtual) will honor the 52nd anniversary of the Stonewall revolt. Perhaps now we should be asking:
What will queer life be like in the future? In the past, queer life was brutal but got better. However, since the 2016 election, hateful, conservative organizations with deep pockets have been emboldened to purchase rollbacks of our hard-won gains, many of them decreed by the Supreme Court of the United States. Six Catholics sit on its bench with two of the Jewish faith and one, Colorado’s Neil Gorsuch, raised a Catholic but apparently now an Episcopalian. Threatening the separation of church and state, this majority of “good Christian judges” will soon be deciding or reviewing the queer cases that are making headlines.
In April, the University of Colorado faculty and student government voted to censure President Mark Kennedy for not demonstrating solidarity with LGBTQ students, one community among many others he has failed to embrace as a leader of a diverse campus. Our state has a do-nothing blabbermouth, posing as a Western Slope U.S. representative, who recently voiced vile, anti–transgender slurs, an ubiquitous, right-wing screed. This year, nine states have passed anti-trans laws with more pending votes. Nationwide, according to the Human Rights Campaign, more than 250 anti-queer bills have been introduced in state legislatures, making 2021 a record breaker. These bills seek to deny medical options and athletic participation for transgenders, and sex education for students covering LGBTQ issues like gender identity and HIV/AIDS. Perhaps heroic Elliot Page could dissuade these biased legislators. Grim statistics were released for transgender folks in April by the CDC. Almost 67 percent of Black, trans women and more than 33 percent of Latinx, trans women have HIV compared to 17 percent of white, trans women. Two-thirds of all trans women live at or below poverty level; 42 percent have experienced homelessness in the past year.
If the Equality Act—the amendment to the 1964 Civil Rights Act providing LGBTQ protections—was to become law, anti-queer cases might lessen. It passed the U.S. House of Representatives in February. To pass the Senate, all 50 democrat votes plus ten republican votes are needed. If you see flying pigs, passage is possible.
Our community has made great strides on the yellow brick road to equality. We want to go further, but the world won’t let us, and complacency threatens the work required.
The Catholic church isn’t the only Christian denomination debating the status of queers. In February, the Southern Baptist Convention voted to expel two member churches over their inclusivity of LGBTQ people. In March, the United Methodist Church unveiled its plan to split into two denominations, one that recognized same-gender marriage and LGBTQ clergy, the other banning that recognition.
We can create tomorrow’s world. We can determine to live in a Queer Freedom Galaxy, like in the movie Star Trek Beyond. It’s the year 2263, and the latest incarnation of the character Sulu is portrayed as a happy, gay man much like the out actor who originated the role, George Takei. But let’s hope everyone at Pride fests worldwide will have a better life centuries sooner. outfrontmagazine.com 57
OFM thoughts
A Queer in Recovery
Pride e gon
Awry
P
ride has been a complicated season for me over the years, and it still stirs up a genuine sense of intense discomfort. In years past, I have seen the month of June both sober and drinking excessively, and both have delivered me to the same destination: I dislike Pride. I think it’s because when I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t often find a lot to truly be proud of. I was drunk the day that I came out. The first time I ever uttered the words “I’m gay” to another human being was on the day of my 26th birthday. By that very same night, I was in jail and contemplating every moment that led me to that place. In those long hours that I spent in the drunk tank before my release, I knew two things:
1. I had a drinking problem. 2. I was never going back in the closet.
While in many ways, I wish my DUI arrest was a wakeup call to my alcoholism, I can also say that I am grateful that my disease progressed the way that it did. It took me almost 10 more years of active alcoholism after that misdemeanor charge before I was truly convinced I couldn’t get sober on my own. I was scared of not drinking, afraid of what a sober life would look like. Would I lose everyone in my life and be shunned from social situations and queer spaces? Would I be able to cope with the horrible things that happened to me before I started drinking and the horrible things that I had done as a result of my drinking? Would I fail, again, at trying to quit for good? I was at the point where I didn’t want to keep drinking, but I didn’t want to stop, a game of bargaining and denial that I was losing on a daily basis. By the time I checked myself into rehab, I knew without a reasonable doubt that this disease would kill me sooner than later if I kept drinking, and I needed that level of conviction in order to finally get help. Similarly, I didn’t truly realize I was queer until one day I suddenly felt like a lightning bolt struck me from the sky. A lingering question had become an unmistakable truth, and I couldn’t think about anything else. Just like the fear of not knowing what a sober life would look like, I wasn’t sure what a queer life would look like. Would I be excommunicated from my family? Would my friends think I was gross? Would the LGBTQ community accept me? I was afraid. Growing up, I knew I was different, and I felt that there was something wrong with me. I felt broken, unsalvageable. I felt invisible; unlovable. I felt unwanted; ashamed. I didn’t have the language then that I do now when talking about the complex ways that external experiences conflate internal self-worth; I just knew something about me was bad. The idea of pride in myself was not only foreign; it was unimaginable. I also was raised in a religious household, and with that came fear of God, fear of sin, and fear of being gay. I didn’t fit in with my church friends, and I didn’t fit in with my school friends. I was discontent, no matter how much I tried to change myself and my surroundings.
5 8 OFM J U N E 2 0 2 1
When I first found the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous at age 21, I was far from proud. I was living the dangerous life of an early addict, always in search of my next drunk with little to no regard to my personal safety. I was hiding from myself within a veil of inebriation, and I attended my first 12-step meeting with my head hung low and my tail between my legs. The people in those rooms were warm, welcoming, inviting, and inclusive, and I felt like maybe I could finally fit in. I found a place where I could restore my dignity and become truly proud of myself. While that first try at sobriety only lasted me a little while, I am still grateful for those early days of sobriety before the subsequent relapses, before the self-hatred returned, and before the shame took hold of me. While I have gone through a lot of iterations of addiction recovery and embracing queerness, I find that I still struggle with feeling the “correct amount” of pride. After having been out of the closet for almost a decade, I have been able to dispel a lot of my acquired guilt around
not being the child my parents thought they wanted me to be, the person my religion told me I needed to be, and the conditionally loveable human I thought I never would be. I am proud that I am queer, but I do believe that a degree of internalized homophobia still exists in me. Additionally, while I have acquired seven months of continuous sobriety, and I am a proud addict in recovery, I have a lot of shame around the fact that I am an addict at all. I don’t always want to be that person; I don’t want to admit that I cannot control my drinking, and I don’t want to have to face life on life’s terms and not have a way of numbing out the feelings. I also still carry with me fear of relapsing, which I believe is a healthy fear that keeps me planted in my priorities.
OFM thoughts
I searched for something to fill the void, something that didn’t make me feel so different and unwanted, and alcohol became a miraculous remedy. I was fun, confident, and felt more included when I drank, and that worked for a really long time. When I drank, I was consumed with a false sense of pride. I became reliant on it as a form of social lubricant and as a way to feel more comfortable with myself, until I couldn’t uncouple my drinking from my identity.
I frequently still feel uncomfortable in my own skin, and my emotions can grab a hold of me so quickly that it can make my head spin, but I have found ways in which I make recovery work for me so that I feel safe and affirmed, and subsequently proud. I have learned that part of being in recovery, whether it be from addiction, from religion, or from insecurity, is that I have to lead with compassion for myself first. Only then do I stand a chance at finding an authentic, genuine pride in all of my identities, my relationships, and my life. -An anonymous queer in recovery Email a.queer.in.recovery@gmail.com for additional support and resources.
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OFM thoughts
SEARCHING FOR MY QUEER COMMUNITY by Keegan Williams
A
s we approach yet another Pride Month, I’m going to level with you—I’m in a bit of a limbo of my queerness and Pride. I’ve written a small collection of Pride reflections over my nearly three years at OFM. I’ve alluded to a lot of the changes over the columns I’ve written on varying, personal topics, but in brief, a lot about me has evolved during my tenure here. I got the job as copy editor freshly moved to Denver, in the infancy of my recovery from alcoholism. I lived in Denver for two years, over that time really coming into my own as a queer adult and truly understanding for the first time, with a sober head, who I was.
I made the move to Los Angeles last year, and shortly after, came out as nonbinary. Los Angeles is already considered a difficult place to establish community and make friends. A good friend here told me that under normal circumstances, baby Angelenos should safely give themselves 12 to 18 months to feel grounded in this city, and that doesn’t account for the strife the pandemic ultimately brings to building community and meeting new people. Walking around, especially in places like West Hollywood, it’s clear that queer people are everywhere, and the community here is bigger than anything I’ve ever experienced. But, as someone fairly new to the second-largest city in the United States, and as a freshly out, nonbinary person, I’m absolutely not sure where I belong, let alone how to tangibly identify and embrace my queer and trans community here. As much as my community sometimes feels pervasive in my life, showing up in all kinds of unexpected places, it often feels abstract, like an idea. An important piece of context to my current chapter, I should jump back to my time in Denver. As a journalist, I often inserted myself into queer spaces around the city for my work. As someone newly sober, my experience in the 6 0 OFM J U N E 2 0 2 1
city was never what I envisioned as I finally made my way somewhere with abundant queer people and queer spaces (which were often alcohol-fueled). Even in Denver, I don’t think I ever really found my footing. I got close on social media with a number of folks in the altdrag scene; I dated scarcely, and ultimately, I left the city not really feeling like I was abandoning an established, queer community that I felt part of. In retrospect, I recognize that post-sobriety, I was undergoing a number of intimate conversations with myself regarding my identity and gender, and even frequenting digital spaces like Grindr, abundant in cis, gay men, I felt (and continue to feel) out of place. So, flash-forward to now. I’m freshly exploring my gender in a public capacity; an easy example is my collection of clothing, most of which is more than a year untouched, adding some cute crops, dresses, skirts I’ve always yearned to play with (and often think, ‘Why did it take me this long?’). I’ve gone on some dates with cis, gay men, hoping they recognize my gender and are seeing me as I’ve described, not just as a man using they/them pronouns. I want to openly explore my fluid sexuality and gender, my relationships, my community, my transness, by meeting and embracing my trans neighbors, but I’m realizing just how little digital space in dating and meet-up apps is reserved for people who aren’t cis.
I think forward to June: Am I going to Pride? I did nothing last year … I really should think about it. What would they even do for that in Los Angeles right now? Who would I even go with?
OFM thoughts
So, rather than thinking about the unknowns, I’m going to go back to what I know my community is right now, even if it doesn’t always feel the most tangible. I am over the moon with gratitude for my digital community, especially given the hyper-isolation I’ve experienced through the pandemic. The queer people I’ve only met once or twice through other friends, some I’ve never met at all in person, whom I find myself interacting with through my phone, sharing our experiences as we mutually cope through the pandemic— these recurring, exceptional characters in my life are the current backbone of my LGBTQ family. The trans people I’ve met who have validated my experience as an often cis-assumed, nonbinary person, and the queer people from all around the country, even others (albeit only accessible through the electronic brick in my pocket) have been crucial to the conversations I’ve been having more openly and honestly with myself, and have been foundational in crafting the guide map to how I want to approach my community going forward. I unexpectedly established a following of largely queer and trans people on TikTok, a space as a millennial I was often unsure if I should navigate until the beginning of 2021. While the app often boasts silly trends and derivative, digital content, I was blown away at the amount of LGBTQ folks on the platform talking about their experience and even just watching from my phone in my small, Hollywood apartment, so many of their voices give me warmth and solace.
Right now, my queer community is more abstract than it may have felt before, but that doesn’t make it less crucial and real in my life. Ultimately, I’m eager to see what my community and my queerness looks like as I approach Pride Month 2022 and author my next annual reflection.
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OFM lust
T
yrell and Jules were attending their first Pride event. Both in their late-20s, Tyrell had only just come out as bisexual in the past year. After talking it through, he and Jules agreed to open their marriage so that Tyrell could explore his newly acknowledged attraction to men, and tonight, they hoped to find another bisexual man to have a threesome with.
Jules and Tyrell and Their New Friend
And so, here they were in the heart of Denver’s notorious Colfax Avenue at a packed bar watching a 90s-themed drag show and sipping brightly-colored cocktails through rainbowstriped penis straws.
Squirty Spice by Amanda E.K.
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Jules was excited for Tyrell. She’d had a feeling for their entire, seven-year relationship that he was bi. In fact, when Jules first met Tyrell, she thought he might be gay. That was at a time when it was still common to think that people could only be completely gay or completely straight, as if everything in life were so black and white. From the stage, the MC—dressed in a very short, Catholic schoolgirl skirt and going by the name Britney Queers— announced the next act. “Let’s give it up again, my dears and queers, for that performance by Fuk Bois 2 Mxn! And next, please welcome three of your favorite Spice Girls: Enby Spice, Fairy Spice, and Squirty Spice singing ‘If You Wanna Be My Lover!’”
“Everyone. No one,” Tyrell said, like a child who’d been asked to pick their first ride at an amusement park. “I think I could be happy just looking. There’s so much to take in. And everyone here seems to know themselves so much better than me.”
“So you’re open then?” teased the queen. “Aren’t you just the cutest. I just wanna lick those sweet little dimples of yours.”
OFM lust
The crowded bar erupted into cheers. Jules looked at Tyrell— who was wearing short shorts with knee-high socks and a short-sleeved button-up left unbuttoned—to see if he was enjoying himself. He had a big smile on his face, but the way he scanned the room, Jules could tell he was overwhelmed. “What do you think?” she asked him. “Anyone catch your eye?”
Tyrell flushed with curious arousal as Jules came up next to Tyrell with two tall cocktails in her hands. “Helloooo,” she said to the drag queen flirting with her husband. She handed Tyrell his drink and introduced herself to Squirty Spice, who stepped back to admire the two of them standing together.
“Listen, you cuties,” said the muscular Spice Girl with an obvious look of approval, “In an hour I’ll be transforming back into my alter ego, Javier, and I’d love to buy you two a drink. Or … you can just tell me what you really really want, Jules gave Tyrell’s arm an encouraging squeeze. “There’s no and we can make it happen. What do you say?” pressure to do anything. We can just go with the flow.” She Jules waggled her eyebrows at Tyrell, asking him with her kissed his cheek and gave him a little spank then headed for eyes if he was interested. the bar to refresh their drinks, purposely leaving Tyrell alone in his booty shorts surrounded by gender-bending cuties. Tyrell was surprised to hear himself speak up with a steady, Jules would be fine if Tyrell found someone who was only cool voice, and say, “We’d like you to come over to our place into other men, but she’d be more than happy to invite some for drinks, and see where it goes from there.” adventurous lover into bed with the both of them. Two hours later, Tyrell and Jules were in their bed with Javier, With Jules gone, Tyrell felt nakedly exposed, as though it was who was proving to be a fluid and generous lover. now glaringly apparent that he was a baby queer who hoped Jules preferred to do more watching than participating. She desperately to be approached. He stood there doing his best sat back against their pillows, and Tyrell leaned back between impression of casual, as though he wore Divine knee-highs her legs against her full breasts, his massive erection directing and sipped on penis straws every day. its attention to the strapping, brown-skinned man who was Britney Queers introduced the next performer—Alanis More- trailing his press-on nails through Tyrell’s rich chest hair and sex—as Tyrell scanned the crowd, wishing very much that he down into his pubic hair where he wrapped his hand around might fit in with them. He ogled a male dancer in a cage by his thick cock, complimenting it, saying, “Honey, where have the bar until he felt someone’s eyes on him. Next to the cage you been hiding? You aren’t going to have any trouble finding stood one of the Spice Girls who was definitely giving Tyrell hook-ups once word gets around about this pretty thing.” the eye. Tyrell blushed. He hadn’t anticipated the ego boost Javier’s compliment excited both Tyrell and Jules ( for Jules, that another queer person’s attention would give him. In that it was arousing to see someone else be so turned on by the moment, Squirty Spice made their way straight for Tyrell, person she loved most), both of them lifting their hips into whose entire body lit up like the Las Vegas strip. the body of the partner above them—Jules pressing her The first thought that came to Tyrell’s mind as the Spice Girl pelvis against her husband’s spine, and Tyrell succumbing to approached and put a bejeweled hand on his arm was, “I the most thorough blow job he’d ever received. Javier enjoyed must be even queerer than I thought.” Despite that he’d been giving in a way that Tyrell had never experienced with a enjoying drag shows for most of his life, he never considered woman, as though having a lover with the same genitals ensured an intimate understanding of how much pressure to that he might be the type to draw a drag queen’s attention. give where, and when. “Is this your first Pride, Handsome?” asked Squirty, a darkskinned, muscular queen who stood at least 6’2” in their As Javier massaged Tyrell’s balls, taking his cock deep into platform heels. They ran their glitter-painted, press-on nails the back of his throat, Tyrell succumbed to the overwhelming pleasure. He leaned hard into Jules’s soft flesh, Jules gripping along the contours of Tyrell’s bicep. his hands at his hips, and they came together, Jules moaning, “How can you tell?” smirked Tyrell, showing off his dimples. and Tyrell shouting toward the ceiling in transported ecstasy. “Oh I’ve got a knack for eyeing the nubes,” said Squirty, with a When Tyrell’s breathing returned to normal, he moved next toss of their bouffant wig. “Something about the way you hold to Jules against the pillows and watched in satisfied awe as that dick to your mouth.” Javier stroked himself off to completion while Jules came Tyrell looked down at his straw and blushed a deeper shade of red. “Well, this is my first Pride. I’m here with my wife.” He gestured toward the bar, then thought to add, “We’re open, though. I mean, we’re new at this, but we’re open.”
a second time from her own touch. All three of them then wilted into each other in a nesting pile on the bed, bursting into laughter, because, how else could they best express the pure enjoyment of what they’d all just shared?
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PRIDE HUBS 6 4 OFM JUNE 2 0 2 1
OFM
BAR TAB | Colorado Nightlife
BENNY’S 301 E. 7th Ave. Denver (303) 894-0748 bennysmexican.com
HAMBURGER MARY’S 1336 E. 17th Ave. Denver (303) 993-5812 hamburgermarys.com/denver
THE TRIANGLE BAR 2036 N. Broadway St. Denver (303) 658-0913 triangledenver.com
BLUSH & BLU 1526 E. Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 484-8548 bluebludenver.com
ICONS 3 E. Bijou St. Colorado Springs (719) 300-7863 Instagram- @icons_colorado
STONEY’S UPTOWN JOINT 1035 E. 17th Ave. Denver (720) 485-5503 stoneysuptown.com
BOYZTOWN
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WILD CORGI PUB
117 Broadway St. Denver (303) 722-7373 boyztowndenver.com
255 S. Broadway St. Denver (303) 733-1156 Facebook- @lildevilslounge
1223 E. 13th Ave. Denver (303) 832-7636 wildcorgipub.com
CHARLIE DWELLINGTON’S 1103 N. 1st St. Grand Junction (970) 241-4010 charliedwellingtons.com
LIPSTICK DISCOTEQUE 5660 W. Colfax Ave. Denver (720) 669-3470 Facebook- @lipstickdiscoteque
X BAR 829 E. Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 832-2687 xbardenver.com
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1027 N. Broadway St. Denver (720) 573-8886 303vybe.com TRACKS
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GLADYS TRADE
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R+R DENVER
CHARLIE’S
TRADE 475 Santa Fe Dr. Denver (720) 627-5905 Facebook- @tradedenver
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TRACKS 3500 Walnut St. Denver (303) 836-7326 tracksdenver.com
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GLADYS 500 Santa Fe Dr. Denver (303) 893-6112 Facebook - @gladysdenver
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TIGHT END BAR 1501 E. Colfax Ave. (303) 861-9103 tightendbar.com
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4958 E. Colfax Ave. Denver (303) 320-9337 Facebook- @randrdenver BROADWAY
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The Human at the Edge of My Yard
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by Brian Byrdsong
oday, I saw a human at the edge of my yard. They seemed strange and stared listlessly at the house my human moved us to. I barked, and I barked, and for my efforts, I received a scolding and some time in that dreaded cage I hate so much. Night came, and the human appeared again. This time, they were closer than before, perhaps just a few steps ahead. I barked for my human once more. They came stomping into the living room calling my name. “Sparkles! What’s out there, girl?” they said. They moved the curtains and peered into the darkness. “There’s no one out there!” my human said. Yet, I could still see them. This human stared at our home. They stared at … me. Dawn came, and my human emerged from their space. They gently pet me on the head and fed me those same tiny, crunchy, flavorful bits as every day. I quickly lapped at them and chewed them. Then I heard a voice. I ran to the window to see the same human as the night before, staring at the house. “Come here, girl,” my human said. I followed their directions. My necklace was put on me, as was my shirt, and we walked outside. The gaze of the human in the yard fell upon me. I barked. I whined. “Sparkles!! Come on, what are you doing?! There’s no one there!” I didn’t understand how my human could not see what was so clearly in front of us. No matter how much I tried to alert my human, they yelled back at me as if I were the irrational one. We walked around the block; I did my business as per usual. When we returned to our home, the strange human was standing at our door. Despite my knowledge of how things would go, I barked at the human. They didn’t react, but my human sure did; with a fierce scolding, I’d say. “Sparkles!” they said, as they yanked me through the door. In the moment that the door remained ajar, the strange human slipped inside. They moved their gaze between me and my human. When my human removed my necklace and my shirt, I sat and said no more. As darkness grew closer, so did my discomfort, as the human gently and soundlessly shuffled around the house. They seemed to be waiting. The hours passed, and finally, my human decided that it was time for bed. I followed them into the room and laid down on my bed, which sat nestled in the corner of the room. The strange human shuffled around the room, and when my human laid down, so did the strange human who had plagued me so. It was not as if they laid down next to my human though, no; it was as if they laid down inside of them. I tried one last time to gather their attention, and this time I did, but there was a furor in their eyes like none I had ever seen before. “Sparkles was your name, wasn’t it?” My human said. “You’re going to shut your mouth, and we’re taking you to the pound tomorrow. I’ve always hated dogs.” My human who was no longer my human pushed me out of the room and closed the door. I slept on the floor of the main room that night confused. I remained confused until I remembered something I heard one of the other dogs at my birth center say. “Sometimes, a strange human-but-not-human will wander in and change your human forever. They will become vicious without warning. Do everything you can to protect your human, but ultimately, they have to decide to pay attention to you,” I was told. I guess I failed.
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