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VOL. XXXVI • ISSUE #13 • OCTOBER 3, 2012

Contents

COLUMNS AND DEPARTMENTS

FOCUS 10 LETTER FROM THE EDITOR 11 SPEAKOUT 14 PANEL VOICES 16 THE LEBANESE LESBIAN 18 OUT IN COLORADO

COVER STORY: “We worked on getting the commission to pass a number of resolutions that would have a direct impact to the LGBT community ... I worked in conjunction with Paul Lopez and Robin Kniech to get the City Council Proclamation passed in support of the Civil Unions Act through Colorado’s legislature.”

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“I’ve been doing the band for a really long time. Like anybody else, I wanna learn new things, learn different forms of art and explore those artistic ways of expression. And acting is one of them ... I love a challenge.”

On the cover: – Kiyomi McCloskey

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SOCIAL 32 FOOD FOR THOUGHT 34 HIGH SOCIETY 39 BAR TAB 43 ON THE SCENE WITH CHARLES TRAVEL & SHOPPING 46 QRAVE 48 MARKETPLACE

– Cristina Aguilar

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BODY AND MIND 21 BOULDERITE BEAUTY 25 FAITH & SPIRIT

Ellis McFadden, Gary Wilson and Cristina Aguilar.

Photography by: www.anthonynorris photography.com

LIVING 51 FASHION 52 FEATURE 60 SEXUALITY

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Serving the LGBT Community of the Rocky Mountains since 1976 3535 Walnut Street Denver, Colorado 80205 Phone: 303-477-4000 Fax: 303-325-2642 Email: info@outfrontonline.com Web: OutFrontOnline.com Facebook: facebook.com/OutFrontColorado Twitter: @OutFrontCO Out Front Colorado is published by Transformation Communications Group, LLC, a Colorado limited liability corporation and is a member of: Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and Denver Drama Critics Circle.

PHIL PRICE / Founder, 1954-1993 JERRY CUNNINGHAM / Publisher Email: Jerry@outfrontonline.com J.C. MCDONALD / Vice President / Director of Circulation Email: JC@outfrontonline.com NIC GARCIA / Associate Publisher Email: Nic@outfrontonline.com

EDITORIAL JEFF JACKSON SWAIM / Editor-in-Chief / Creative Director Email: Jeff@outfrontonline.com HOLLY HATCH / Executive Editor Email: Holly@outfrontonline.com MATTHEW PIZZUTI / Junior Editor Email: Matt@outfrontonline.com M.N. SALAM / Copy Editor CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Brent Heinze, Maya Salam, Misty Milioto, Robyn Vie-Carpenter, Scott McGlothlen, Jeff Steen, Josiah Hesse, Mike Yost, Ashley Trego, Kelsey Lindsey, Terrell Wallin, Nuclia Waste, David Marlowe, Steve Cruz, Chris Azzopardi, Christine Mcmanus, Shanna Katz, Max Oliver, Amy Lynn O’Connell, Jonathan McGrew, Jasmine Peters, Mari Christie. EDITORIAL INTERN: Lauren Archuletta

A RT SARA DECKER / Art Director Email: Sara@outfrontonline.com CRYSTAL HATCH / Freelance Designer CHARLES BROSHOUS / Photographer

SALES JORDAN JACOBS / Marketing Executive Email: Jordan@outfrontonline.com

DISTRIBUTION: Out Front Colorado’s print publication is available semi-monthly, free of charge in Colorado, one copy per person. Additional copies of Out Front Colorado may be purchased for $2.95 each, payable in advance at Out Front Colorado offices located at 3535 Walnut Street, Denver CO, 80205. Out Front Colorado is delivered only to authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of Out Front Colorado, take more than one copy of Out Front Colorado. Any person who takes more than one copy may be held liable for theft, including but not limited to civil damages and or criminal prosecution.

COPYRIGHT & LIMIT OF LIABILITY: Reproduction of editorial, photographic or advertising content without written consent of the publisher is strictly prohibited.

Advertisers are responsible for securing rights to any copyrighted material within their advertisements. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the claims of advertisers and reserves the right to reject any advertising. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles or advertising is not to be considered an indication of the sexual orientation or HIV status of such person or organization. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the loss or damage of materials submitted. OPINIONS EXPRESSED are not necessarily those of OUT FRONT COLORADO, its staff or advertisers.

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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FROM THE EDITOR

A different kind of power On last year’s Power List, Out Front named 45 movers-and-shakers – LGBT people and dedicated straight allies in positions of power in Colorado. The message was that more than 40 years after the Stonewall Riots – that furious backlash against a time when being LGBT was in itself illegal – our community has built itself up from obscurity: Out LGBT people and close supporters are now state legislators, local government officials, activists and community leaders with large followings and in charge of successful businesses and nonprofits.

Last year’s list represented power in the most conventional sense: LGBT people who command, not just the friendship of our community itself, not just our straight supporters’ sense of justice and altruism, but authority – as we ask the rest of the world to give us equality, we have community members in positions to deal the world something it wants in return.

They’re in positions to not just ask, but bargain. They prove LGBT people can aim high despite the odds.

This year’s list is not mutually exclusive from that definition of power, and many of the names and faces could be the same. But this time the emphasis is a different kind of power, one that does not require a title or position: the power of choice. Some of those honored this year have names you likely don’t yet know, some of whom we only came to know through broad input from the community. Out Front is honoring individuals who use their lives – and whatever positions they entail – to be change agents, speaking for justice, community and the betterment of others.

That kind of power is the one alluded to when someone is speaking of “powerful words,” “powerful ideas” and “powerful deeds.” Those terms always refer to things we hadn’t been anticipating – their significance strikes us like a lightning bolt, startling us from complacency and awakening, in our own selves, that same sense of responsibility and agency. They’re things that hit us in the gut, or give us goosebumps.

This power, when any of us invoke it, involves personal risk and sacrifice. We accept that we might not be well received, our efforts resisted or unnoticed, or we may turn out to be following the less personally advantageous path. We might not live long enough to see the return of our investment or might be punished for it by those threatened by the goal.

Our 2012 list includes Michele Ostrander, director of the Susan G. Komen Foundation’s Denver affiliate, who put her job on the line to speak up against the national Komen Foundation’s decision to de-fund its

cancer screening program through Planned Parenthood, a program Ostrander believes saves lives of low-income women in Colorado. It includes Joseph Soto, an 18-year-old who has been spending his youth immersed in the long-game of activism. It includes Ellis McFadden, a man who through the decades and with tireless humility has dedicated innumerable hours volunteering for Colorado’s LGBT community.

It includes Mario Nicolais, a straight ally and Republican who has been working to, not tow his party’s line, but restore it to its higher principles and foster voices for equality on both sides of the aisle by advocating civil unions. It includes Jace Woodrum, who came out as trans in April and chose to expose his deeply personal journey to the public eye in real time, hoping to draw attention to trans issues and inspire other trans people to speak up.

We’d love to say that virtue is its own reward, but as LGBT people, we, among many other groups, are in a position to understand justice is not a given in this world. We can do our best, we can do everything right and by the books, but sometimes we still lose.

Many are overlooked – generations enjoy benefits of progress without knowing all the unnamed and much less-rewarded ones who built that. Achievement of any kind is something to celebrate, but we choose to use this occasion to celebrate achievement we believe hasn’t yet been celebrated enough.

There are many others who should be on a power list. There are still people out there for whom it’s a crying shame they’ve gone yet unacknowledged.

Without a doubt you know a few of those people – and we do want to hear about them – and without a doubt your own life is speckled with many loud, and silent, acts of faith. We’re celebrating all of those now, and hope we can appreciate and encourage each other enough that we inspire many more.

The world is far from perfect still, but whenever we honor the risks, sacrifices and commitments individuals in our community make toward higher goals, we hope we bring it a little closer. ]

>> CONNECT WITH

Matthew Pizzuti

Celebrate with us October 6!

Last call to get your tickets to the Power Party is October 5.

Purchase tickets at http://ofcnow.co/pptx

M AT T H E W < <

Reach junior editor Matthew Pizzuit by email at Matt@outfrontonline.com or by phone (303) 477. 4000 ext. 712.

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SPEAKOUT

Remembering Matthew Shepard 14 years later, the call to action continues

By Judy Shepard October is very hard for me.

It’s not that the early autumn in Wyoming isn’t beautiful. If you haven’t experienced the crisp air as the nights come earlier each day, or the last few cricket chirps of the season that follow the brilliant orange sunsets, you can’t really know the peaceful, quiet contemplation this time of year brings those of us who make our homes here.

But it’s those cues, these turns of the calendar pages, that remind me of the tragedy that autumn brought us 14 years ago, and start us reflecting on what our family and our society have learned from it.

Fourteen years ago this week, his father, brother and I were at Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins with our first-born son, Matthew Shepard. He was 21, and dying. Just days before, he had been just like millions of American college students whose names are not known to the world – getting the hang of his new classes, adapting to a new campus, making friends.

But here he was in intensive care, the victim of a terrible, senseless attack at the hands of two other young men who had learned it was OK to hate others for being different, to victimize them, to disregard their humanity.

Matt passed away quietly in the early morning hours of Oct. 12, 1998, with his family at his bedside. He died because of violence fueled by anti-gay hatred. For a lot of reasons, some of which we will probably never quite understand, the world had been watching, praying for him, and voicing their outrage.

October cannot go by anymore, and never will again, without us wondering what might have been, for us and for so many other families, if hatred of gay, and lesbian, and bisexual, and transgendered people, and all those whom others simply think might be, had been rooted out.

In the painful months that followed Matt’s death, we came to understand a lot of things we never knew before: about hate crimes. We learned about the LGBT community and its long struggle for acceptance and equality. Yet most of all, we learned about the fear so many otherwise good people had in their hearts about their gay neighbors, coworkers and family members.

We set about creating a legacy for Matt. He had always been interested in politics, human rights and LGBT equality. With the support and sympathy of the thousands who wrote us and the millions who were touched by his death, we decided to try to make a difference in his name.

The Matthew Shepard Foundation stands up for the

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LGBT community and its straight allies in Matt’s memory.

We are a modest organization, but we do our part and persuade others to do theirs, as well. We pushed – for a long, long time – for federal hate crime legislation that includes LGBT people. That finally happened three years ago – one more step forward. We go to schools and companies and community groups to implore everyone there to embrace diversity. We try to give young people hope, despite their parents’ or peers’ rejection of them, that they have a bright future. We keep Matt’s story alive and look to turn bystanders into activists.

It’s been such a long, sometimes tiring journey, but a rewarding one, as well. The coming out stories that young people tell me, slowly, almost imperceptibly, got better.

We all have a role to play. We all have our story to tell.

When we all finally stand up and demand equality, the scourge of hatred will wither and disappear. And maybe we can all have our Octobers back to enjoy for what they’re meant to be – a season to see, celebrate, change. ] The Matthew Shepard Foundation’s annual Bear to Make a Difference Gala is on Sat., Oct. 13, at the Seawell Grand Ballroom in downtown Denver. Tickets and more info at http://MatthewShepard.org.

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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FYI

OBITUARY

Gay couple sues over use of photo Charmer, pianist, lover of outdoors in anti-gay political campaign

By Nic Garcia The Southern Poverty Law Center filed a federal lawsuit in Denver Sept. 26 against an anti-gay hate group based in Virgina that took a gay couple’s engagement photo and misappropriated it for a political ad that attacked a Colorado lawmaker’s support for same-sex civil unions.

The lawsuit charges Public Advocate of the United States misappropriated the likeness and personalities of the couple, Brian Edwards and Tom Privitere, according to a press release from the Law Center. It also charges that as a result, the couple suffered harm, including mental distress and anguish. The lawsuit was filed on behalf of the couple, Brian Edwards and Tom Privitere, and photographer Kristina Hill.

Public Advocate, an organization designated as a hate group by the Law Center, used the engagement photo without permission and digitally altered it to attack a Colorado state lawmaker who supported the Colorado Civil Union Act in 2011 and 2012. State Sen. Jean White lost her primary to state Rep. Randy Baumgardner.

White claims the mailer had a devastating impact on the outcome.

“This case is about the defilement of a beautiful moment by a group known for demonizing the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community,” said Christine P. Sun, the Law Center’s deputy legal director. “This was

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just a cheap way for Public Advocate to avoid having to pay for a stock photo to use in their hateful anti-gay attack ad. It was nothing short of theft.”

The Law Center sent a letter to Public Advocate and its president, Eugene Delgaudio, in July warning that it was investigating the unauthorized use of the copyrighted photo. The letter demanded confirmation that the group ceased its unauthorized use. Neither the organization nor its leader Eugene Delgaudio responded to the letter, the Law Center said.

“I cringe every time I look at what once was one of our favorite photos,” Edwards said in the release. “All I see now is the defiled image used to attack our family and our community. All we want is justice for the pain that Public Advocate has caused us. ” The original photo, taken by Hill, showed the couple with the New York City skyline in the background. Public Advocate superimposed the couple onto a snowy, tree-filled background to imply the photo was taken in Colorado.

Bold words on a red background were added: “State Senator Jean White’s idea of ‘Family Values?’”

“We are heartbroken that our images may have been seen by gay and lesbian youth in Colorado and were left feeling ashamed of their sexual orientation because of it,” Privitere said in a statement released by the Law Center.

“We hope that this group is held accountable for its reprehensible and hateful anti-gay attacks.” ]

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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After a lengthy struggle with AIDS related illnesses, Ean Mark MacLaeran died Thursday afternoon, Sept. 13, at his childhood home in Sturgis, South Dakota. He passed in his sleep with his parents by his side. At MacLaeran’s request, no funeral services will be held.

However, at a later date, there will be a gathering to celebrate his life.

MacLaeran was born June 11, 1978, and in his 34 years, he lived a full life. He had a vibrant personality and charmed everyone he met with his smile and fun-loving attitude. He was caring and compassionate, and never failed to help a friend in need. He had a passion for music and played a fierce piano. MacLaeran enjoyed the great outdoors and could often be found romping in the woods with his Boxer. An adventurous spirit, he delighted in traveling and exploring the world, but he got the most satisfaction from spending time with family and friends.

MacLaeran pushed boundaries, challenged stereotypes, and taught those in his life to accept people for who they are. Most of all, he taught people around him about the most important part of life – love. ]

NEWS

Steadman to continue his effort to pass civil unions, honoring late partner in its parking division.

“He made the city a better place for everyone,” Surrounded by hundreds of friends, colleagues, and Mayor Michael Hancock said. “Even if he was passing constituents, state Sen. Pat Steadman celebrated the out tickets.” life of his late-partner Dave Misner Sept. 24, vowed Before moving to Colorado, Misner climbed the corto pass a bill to establish civil unions here in Misner’s porate ladder at a McDonald’s franchise, first flipping honor and charged mourners to cherish every burgers, later managing an entire region of restaumoment as Misner did. rants, his father Howard Misner said.

Misner died Sept. 16 after sharing more than a Jeff Thormodsgaard, who first worked for dozen years with Steadman and battling pancreatic Steadman at a lobbying firm before becoming one cancer for 81 days after of the family’s closest his diagnosis. He was 48. friends, said Misner “Yes, I’d do anything would often leave to have him back, so yellow envelopes we could carry out the reserved for parking ‘sinister’ gay agenda: tickets on his car growing older together, near the Capitol with becoming grandparents friendly notes inside … The lesson to take reminding Thormodsaway,” Steadman said, gaard of what was im“is to fill every moment portant in life – not the with love, because you hustling of a vote count, may not have as many but of friendship. moments as you think.”

“This is the thing Southern Oregon about Dave,” Thormodsnative and father of gaard said, “he made all two, Misner was reof us happy.” membered for his Two people Misner smile, charisma and made the happiest were heart. He was the his children, they said.

State Sen. Pat Steadman, D-Denver, and perfect political spouse, “My dad is probably his late partner David Misner. dedicated employee, the coolest person,” jovial friend, and – Courtney Davidson said. above all else – a devoted father, Misner’s family “Anybody who knows me knows, growing up, I always and friends eulogized. thought I was a princess. Not many girls got to say Steadman and Misner met shortly after Misner their dad was a princess, too.” moved to Colorado to start anew as an out gay man.

“My father taught me how to be a man and how to “He was looking for a man. And so was I,” Steadman said. provide for myself,” Nick Misner said.

The Denver Democrat, who sponsored the Colorado Steadman also promised, in front of a standingCivil Union Act during the last two regular sessions of room-only crowd that spilled out to a balcony and the Colorado General Assembly, spoke of his “beloved” into the foyer of the Denver Botanic Gardens’ Mitchell with equal parts reverence and humor.

Hall, to finish the job he started with Misner by his Steadman said Misner complete him in “every side: pass a bill to establish civil unions for Colorado way.” And Misner was always ready to help the same-sex couples. senator succeed.

Steadman said he and Misner had documents to esThroughout their years together, Misner would tablish what would happen after Misner died. “But we “flirt his way through rubber chicken dinners,” and did not have the dignity of being equal in the eyes of dressed as a polar bear at public events one summer the law.” to help raise awareness and garner votes for a Misner had asked Steadman several times to get campaign Steadman was working on to re-authorize married, but Steadman refused, he told the gathera tax for the arts. Just weeks ago, in between doctor ing, since Colorado did not afford relationship recogvisits and cancer treatments, Misner helped build nition to same-sex couples. yard signs for Steadman’s re-election campaign.

“I didn’t want an empty ceremony … we didn’t “I have no idea how to do all the things we used to need another toaster. I thought we could wait and do do together,” Steadman said. “It’s not just campaign- something about it,” Steadman said. “I wanted some ing – it’s stuff like remembering which days to take of that equality for us,” he said. “(But this) will not out the trash.” detour me from my work. Despite my personal loss, Most recently, Misner worked for the City of Denver my mission is urgent and is within my grasp.” ]

By Nic Garcia

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Misner’s death hits close to home

By Matthew Pizzuti Months ago, Sen. Pat Steadman sat in front of a Senate committee testifying for a bill that would give Colorado same-sex couples the right to form a civil union. For Steadman the cause was not only his sense of fairness and justice, but personal – by extending civil unions to Colorado’s LGBT community, he’d also gain the right to form that union with his partner of more than a decade, Dave Misner, who looked on.

Misner was often in attendance while Steadman fought for the bill, and elsewhere Misner appeared regularly at Steadman’s side – a familiar face for many at the Capitol and in the community – warm, caring, funny and down-to-earth. Hard to spot without a smile, Misner’s demeanor was contagious.

Whenever Dave showed up unannounced, Pat was smiling too. Everybody was.

There was something truly special about their relationship. Steadman, respected even among lawmakers as someone who knows the Capitol like the back of his hand – is instrumental in Colorado’s political world. In contrast, Misner offered most immediately a sense of joyous appreciation for each moment, an aura of enlightened levity, nonjudgment, realness and humility. Their apparent differences highlighted what they clearly shared: compassion – hospitality, a common valuing of family and appreciation and concern for others. It was the kind of relationship that brought out, not ego or a mirror image of each partner, but love – one that leapt out and benefitted others, one we should all aspire to have, yet often fail to seek.

It was not long after Pride that Steadman announced Misner had just been diagnosed with an advanced stage of pancreatic cancer.

The disease is nearly always rapid and fatal when caught so late, but that was just too hard for observers to accept in the case of someone like Dave Misner – a man who was much too young, too healthy and energetic, too caring and too alive for such statistics to apply.

Surely the doctors could whip up some magic and 2012 would be the year medical journals report an experimental treatment for pancreatic cancer has finally worked. Surely the community’s love and gratitude for Dave would have some mystical healing effect.

Tragically, on September 16, Dave Misner, a loving partner and father of two adult children, passed away at the family’s home in Capitol Hill at the age of 48. We offer our deepest sympathy and condolences to Pat Steadman, to Dave’s children Courtney and Nick, to Dave’s parents and to our whole community for this loss. ] For the full version visit http://ofcnow.co/jhX

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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VOICES: PANEL

Who is the local LGBT community’s unsung hero?

Jo Niblock

Cecil Bethea

Carlos Martinez

I have been a part of the LGBT community for some time now, having come out as lesbian when I was 16 years old, and more recently, almost three years ago as a trans man. This time around I was more concerned than ever with getting the support and acceptance – the greatest concern being with my family.

They are and always have been, my rock, loving me unconditionally through all of my mistakes, life decisions and lost loves. Now well into my transition, I feel more loved and supported than ever by my parents.

For me, our LGBT parents are the unsung heroes of our community. Not all of us are fortunate enough to have such loving and supportive parents, but for those of us who do, we understand what an impact they have made on our lives. I have tried to place myself into their heavily used shoes, soles flapping off, maybe a broken shoestring, but I know I fall short of true empathy. I am 39. They have been through a lot with me, but in the end, I am and will always be their child. Whomever I choose to love and devote my life to, or whatever body I have created to be the man I have always felt I was, I am their child. Maybe they don’t fully understand. Let’s face it, most parents of LGBT probably don’t, but they continue to love without boundaries. Isn’t that what we all want? Without these supportive LGBT parents in our lives, we probably wouldn’t be the strong, assertive, driven, compassionate and progressive community we are today.

So if you have one of these parents in your life then thank them. They truly are the unsung heroes. ]

John Kelly is the most underrated activist I know.

He serves on the Denver GLBT Commission and the Denver Human Rights Commission, of which he is the vice chairman. These are jobs whose results affect individual members of the GLBT community.

Another activity of his has affected most of us. The color guard that leads off the PrideFest parade can partially be attributed to John. He was one of the founders of the American Veterans for Equal Rights. The organization sponsors the color guard. Those who have seen them marching down Colfax know that they make the Rockettes look clumsy. This is not their only venue.

Over the last two years they have marched in the St. Patrick’s Day, Memorial Day, Columbus Day and Veterans’ Day Parades. They march because of John’s efforts. The organizers of these public affairs did not want their groups to be tainted by a bunch of queers.

John begged, cajoled, and even threatened them. John did all this to include our color guard into national holiday celbrations.

John used to be a member of The Center’s men’s coffee hour, which he now works the reception desk for.

Here John recently helped a woman whose brother was suicidal by connecting her to appropriate resources and assisted a man who had fled a small town in Wyoming fearing for his life. At 70 years old, John is works to make the world a better place for the GLBT community.

What makes the color guard of importance to us, is that it shows that we are an integral part of our nation’s fabric and history. This is why I salute John Kelly. ]

In my position, I get to meet many people who are doing outstanding work on behalf of the LGBT community throughout the state. Folks from Durango to Colorado Springs to Sterling are making a difference for people in their communities. I also get to meet people who are advocating for sub-populations in our community.

While I could list many individuals, today I want to call out two who are always giving of themselves: Manuel Nava and Diego Carrillo. Partners for more than 10 years, they are passionate about making sure that Latino LGBT immigrants are connected to community resources and become productive citizens. They continuously organize social gatherings, support groups or community outings for engagement and connection. They are known as the “padrinos” (godfathers) among Latinos for always giving of themselves. From taking people to get tested for HIV, to helping people in their coming out process, to helping families stay connected who have an LGBT child, they are there for the community.

Nava and Carillo never renege a call, an email or a text that they receive from someone seeking help.

Instead they respond with compassion and an open heart. A coffee shop, park or a community room at a library serves as a temporary office, their cell phone is their information and referral database, and their Facebook serves as their outreach tool. They are extremely resourceful and make it a point to stay connected. Their ability to make a lifelong impact for people serves as their compensation. Manuel and Diego, you are truly unsung heroes. ]

Jo Niblock is a corporate fraud supervisor, photographer and transgender male who lives in Denver.

Cecil Bethea was raised in the South before joining the Air Force and calls himself a Westerner of Southern extraction.

Carlos Martinez is the chief executive officer of the GLBT Community Center of Colorado.

Interested in becoming one of the voices on Out Front’s PANEL?

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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Contact Matt Pizzuti by email at matt@outfrontonline.com or call (303) 477.4000 ext. 712 to be considered!

NEWS

Nonprofit community to gather for October conference

By Mike Yost

Oct. 15 and 16 mark the 20th Annual Colorado Nonprofit Association’s Fall Conference and Exhibition taking place at the Omni Interlocken Resort in Broomfield. “It’s the premier annual event for Colorado’s nonprofit sector,” said Eileen Prosser, Director of Development and Marketing.

Whether you donate, volunteer, receive services, work with or run a nonprofit organization, the exhibition works to educate and empower those invested in the community.

“We typically draw more than 700 nonprofit decision makers across the state, as well as the foundation trustees and staff,” Prosser said.

The influence of Colorado nonprofits is larger than most people might initially consider. According to CNA’s website, Coloradans gave almost $3.8 billion in donations in 2006, ranking 8th in percent of taxpayers who deduct for their philanthropy. Today, there are 19,000 nonprofit organizations in Colorado, accounting for six percent of Colorado’s economy.

In addition, from 2000 to 2010 there has been an increase of job growth of 2.1 percent, compared to a drop of 0.6 percent in the profit sector. There are 142,000 Coloradans working as nonprofit professionals, encompassing 7.9 percent of Colorado’s employment sector.

The Colorado Nonprofit Association was founded in 1986 to service this growing community by establishing a network of relationships to cultivate positive change. “We currently have 1,358 members,” Prosser said. Organizations who are members include One Colorado, the Colorado Anti-Violence Program and Project Angel Heart.

The upcoming conference acts as the tip of the spear to CNA’s mission: to lead, serve and strengthen nonprofit organizations throughout the Centennial State.

The Gay and Lesbian Fund for Colorado is included among the many sponsors that support CNA’s mission.

Participants at the exhibition will have access to more than 70 educational sessions ranging from how to develop

a nonprofit to finding effective ways to lobby your legislators to increasing community engagement. In addition, there will be more than 45 exhibitors that work to sustain and achieve the goals of nonprofit institutions.

“We have two luncheons,” Prosser said. “The lunch on day one is when we present the Collaboration Award where a nonprofit in Colorado is awarded $50,000.” Last year’s award went to Northwest Colorado Community Health Partnership, an organization that works to build a health care network for the uninsured and underinsured in Routt, Moffat, Rio Blanco and Jackson Counties.

On day two “our lunch is going to be two Colorado governors coming to give their perspective on the election.” Former Govs. Bill Ritter Jr. (D) and Bill Owens (R) will host a panel discussion concerning the impact of the election’s outcome on nonprofit organizations. The event will be moderated by Cynthia Hessin from Rocky Mountain Public Broadcasting System.

This year’s annual fall exhibition represents just a small portion of services CNA provides. “We host, every single March, our Colorado Nonprofit Week Awards luncheon, a kickoff to nonprofit week,” Prosser said. “We present different awards to people who have made a difference in the community.”

This March, awards were given to David DeLay with Bayaud Enterprises and Mary Anne Harvey with The Legal Center for People with Disabilities and Older People, both winning the William Funk Award for Building Stronger Communities.

“We have a leadership development series,” said Prosser, “and training work programs for people to get help with branding, which is really important in the nonprofit sector.”

In addition, CNA offers free webinars and an online help desk. The association has also conducted a number of surveys and research papers, including studies that outline the beliefs and behaviors Coloradans who give to charity and research, which explicates the economic impact of nonprofits in Colorado.

“This is a fantastic opportunity for people to ask questions about the nonprofit and get some help,” Prosser said. ] Register at http://coloradononprofits.org

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THE LEBANESE LESBIAN

Maya Salam

F al li ng

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Fall is for dreamers. Some might think that summer is, but not me.

I’m in love with the (sometimes tortured) artist that is fall. Maybe because no matter how optimistic I grow, decreasingly tortured I am, or open my heart becomes, I can’t deny my pressing introspective instincts to dig deep and reflect on my findings. And fall is for that: reflection.

Once the sweaty, sticky, loud crowds of summer have passed and the year begins the slide to its finale, I can finally step away and duck behind the curtain to look into fall’s crystal ball. Not to see the future, though – to see the past.

Sept. 21 was the last day of summer. As always, the season was a wild, confident, sexy and fiery girl all up in our faces, but every fire has to cool eventually. And only then can we see what’s left.

Fall might be quiet, but she’s potent, wise, and brutally honest without judgment. She knows she’s not perfect, either. She’d rather you be truthful with yourself than summer ever would. I respect that. What does fall have to say this year? Well, she’s just started peeking around the corner, gesturing for me to come on back. I am ready. I’m ready to take a look back at and contemplate 2012 so far: how I’ve been, what I’ve done, where I’ve been and with whom.

Most importantly though, I’m ready to uncover why: why I made the choices I’ve made. Oh 2012, you’ve opened up so many worlds to me.

There have been falls in my past when I wrote endlessly (fall is for poetry, too) about feeling a loss of direction, questioning my rationale for the relationships I engaged in, assessing where I was and where I wanted to be. Thank god for those falls. Without them, I wouldn’t have finally been able to move forward.

I’ve been told more than twice (as a compliment and as an insult) that I don’t spend enough time dealing with the past, whether it be what happened 20 years ago or what happened last week, that I focus so much on the present and the future that I am able to actually put my past behind me without being plagued by all the events and the mistakes. Some people might think it’s a front or

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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a sign that I’m callous. Others have told me that they wished they could do the same.

I used to be quite the opposite, though. Oppressed day in and out by my past, but I had to make the decision that I wanted to feel better about it all. And more importantly, I believed I was willing to put in the work.

I’ve seen too many beautiful people waste time pained, guilted, and controlled by the events of their past. Then, they regret the time they just wasted being pained, guilted, and controlled by them.

Then, they’re controlled by those moments. It’s all very meta.

I think it’s incredibly important to never forget that life only moves in one direction – clockwise – but not in a stressful way.

Instead to have that truth work with us, not against us. It’s at least important to try.

Fall, to me, equals time. It’s the living metaphor. As humans, we’re most often happy when things are born and begin, and devastated when things end. For me, fall is the time to accept the passing of time and all that happened so that there is open, fresh space for growth when the warmth rolls back in.

I remember when I came out, three Septembers ago, how I waved that white flag: conceding to the truth and to conquering my missteps. And fall gave me the space and the strength to slough off the weight of the past.

I don’t move on from my past rashly. I try to follow nature’s orders, hear her reminders. I attempt to take the space that needs taking and focusedly work through what needs addressing. Fall is my cool, calm, safe space to do that.

As 2012’s leaves turn brilliant and let go of their trees, I continue my journey of growth and remember the message written in its branches: Growth doesn’t have to be fast, but it has to be continuous, and it’s OK to let go of what was there to make room for what will be. ] Email Maya at mns.outfront@gmail.com

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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OUT IN COLORADO

Vo te!

This election day, don’t get caught with your pants down – be sure your voter registration is correct.

Voter Registration Colorado’s voter registration deadline for the November 2012 election is Tues., Oct. 9. For voters already registered in the state, the deadline to update your current address is Oct. 30. But mailin voting starts Oct. 15.

The Gill Foundation

brings everyone OnBoard with new non-profit project

By Kelsey Lindsey Like a dating website for potential board members and nonprofits, OnBoard functions as an intermediary between the two, having interested volunteers fill out a questionnaire, then matching them with organizations based on their interests, experience and former relationship with nonprofits.

The mission of the Gill Foundation is very simple – to provide equality to everyone, regardless of his or her sexual orientation or gender expression. Working with LGBT nonprofits and local organizations that help improve the quality of life for every Coloradan, the Gill Foundation has invested more than $106 million in beneficial nonprofits since its creation 17 years ago.

Now, with its new start-up project OnBoard, the Gill Foundation is looking to expand the type of charitable contributions it provides to nonprofits. Hoping to increase the presence of local LGBT persons and allies on boards for local organizations, the OnBoard project is an active development of the Gill Foundation to encourage local Coloradans to

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engage with their community.

“We had conversations about the topic, about what influences the lives of Denver’s LGBT population. It’s laws and policies, but it’s also organizations that affect everyday life – homeless shelters, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Girl Scouts, the Children’s Museum,” said Karla Rikansrud, director of allies and institutions at Gill Foundation and project lead for OnBoard.

Recognizing the fact that the LGBT community interacts with hundreds of different nonprofits every year, the Gill Foundation has created a way for interested LGBT and allies that live in the Denver/Metro area to connect with all kinds of organizations, potentially obtaining a board position if they are a good fit. Through an intensive questionnaire process and dedication from their volunteers, OnBoard has matched 15 people to various nonprofits’ boards since its inauguration.

“We work hard to get to know participants and match their passions with needs of specific boards,” Rikansrud said. The 30 boards that OnBoard is in contact with contain a vast amount

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

of diversity, with organizations such as American Red Cross, Denver Public Schools Foundation, and Rocky Mountain PBS represented.

OnBoard hopes that their help, this process of obtaining a board position on a local nonprofit will encourage the LGBT population of Denver to become more active in their communities. Rikansrud also thinks that the project is important because it demonstrates the multiplicity of need everyone – gay, straight, bi or transgender, need in everyday life. “We are like everyone else – if I go to a homeless shelter, I am a homeless person first, and a lesbian second,” Rikansrud said.

With 15 volunteers already on various boards, the success of the OnBoard project is ever-rising. Local nonprofits are also beneficiaries of this project; they receive the opportunity to, as Rikansrud puts it, further broaden their idea of diversity. It truly is a win-win anyway you look at it, helping the Gill Foundation continue its mission of equality and hope for the Denver community. ] Online at http://gillfoundation.org.

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If you are signed up on the mail-in list, a mail-in voter’s ballot will be sent to the address you last registered at starting Oct. 15. Be sure you double-check before then whether you’re on the list and know what address your ballot will be sent to!

Register to vote online: https://ofcnow.co/LQ7 Verify your registration or mail-in status and/or update your voter registration online: https://ofcnow.co/vmt Vote by Mail Mail-in ballots are sent to those on the mail-in list starting Oct. 15, or 72 hours (3 days) after you request a mail-in ballot if you request one after that. They will be sent to the address you last registered at.

Vote in Person If you plan on voting in person, you’ll need to be able to show you are who you say you are. See a full list of acceptable forms of ID here: http://ofcnow.co/VvY If you don’t want to worry about the rush to vote on Election Day, you can vote early starting Oct. 22 and ending Nov. 2 at designated polling places in your county.

Look up your early-voting locations here: Denver County: http://ofcnow.co/mGy Jefferson County: https://ofcnow.co/nvN Adams County: http://ofcnow.co/K5w Arapaho County: http://ofcnow.co/IdU Boulder County: http://ofcnow.co/AtZ Douglas County: http://ofcnow.co/n6S Larimer County: http://ofcnow.co/pYM Election day is Tues., Nov. 6, 2012.

For more information: http://ofcnow.co/59N

RADIOACTIVE VISION

Dating and

mating Getting back into the dating scene after being off the market for a while can be a nightmare.

Take our friend Denise. After her high-profile CEO jerk of a husband dumped her for another woman, Denise found herself husband hunting after many years of marriage. The problem is, the dating scene had changed quite a bit from the time she said, “I do” to her high school cheatheart.

Now there was the Internet. In order to meet new men, she put herself out there on Match.com and other online dating services. It was one dud after another.

The men were as dull as dirt or all they wanted was a quick hook up. Apparently the men were signing up for Snatch.com. Bless their hard-ons.

Now there were venereal diseases – some even deadly.

When Denise found out her husband had been sleeping around, she went and got tested – for everything. She had complete blood work done to make sure her husband had not brought more home than just the bacon. Everything came back negative, thank the goddess.

So it was with much trepidation that she attended a New Year’s Eve party hosted by her friend’s Walter and Christie Isenberg of the Sage Hospitality empire.

The last thing Denise wanted to do was spend New Year’s Eve surrounded by happy couples. Fortunately, not everyone at the party was taken. His name was Dan. Dan Queen.

Becoming a Queen should have been enough reason right there to marry Dan. Even more so when you consider Denise’s maiden name of Desmoineaux.

Nobody ever knows how to pronounce it, let alone spell it. Even though she has such a French name, Denise is about as far away from France as French fries. She is a fifth generation Colorado native. Her early ancestors came to Colorado to seek their fortune in the silver mines. And they did until the U.S. government declared gold to be the standard. The price of silver plummeted and they lost it all. Mon dieu.

Denise and Dan hit it off immediately. He made her laugh. Denise had not laughed in a long time.

And she has a great laugh the world needs to hear.

Reason number two to marry Dan. So they went on a few dates, and Denise admits she even got a little sneak preview of the goods. Well, a big sneak preview, according to Dan. Reason number three to marry this man.

But Denise was not about to take any chances before they got their hump on. They had only been on two dates when Denise let Dan know he would need to get a blood test to make sure his bacon was not rancid.

It was Tuesday, and they had a date that coming weekend – and Dan was horny as hell. He went down to the clinic and had his tests done that very same day.

On Wednesday, he presented his negative results in a lovely Hallmark greeting card. I had no idea Hallmark had such modern card topics. “Roses are red, violets are blue. My dick is clean, so can I screw you?”

Denise and Dan have been happily married for two years now. She had to kiss a few frogs but ended up a Queen in the end.

Nuclia Waste We all have our dating challenges like Denise. But none more so than Abdullah. I recently met him at a pool party with his new boyfriend Ian. Abdullah’s challenge was not dating itself, but getting to a place where it was even possible. Iraq is where Abdullah is from.

Bagdad to be exact – considered one of the most dangerous places for GLBT people to live. Being gay is not only considered to be taboo, but results in discrimination, abuse, “honor” killings and murder. Abdullah could see the Arabic writing on the wall.

In order to not become another statistic, he came over here to study and immediately declared asylum. It was granted, and he is now two years into his three-year journey to become a U.S. citizen.

Being gay is such a stigma, his family still does not know.

He has told them he received an extended study visa to be here longer. They have no idea their son is not coming back. Abdullah, I am glad you are here and not dead.

Bless your big heart. ] Nuclia Waste can be reached through her website at http:// NucliaWaste.com.

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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GAL ON THE MOVE

No room in my closet for ME “Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight.”

– Harvey Milk I like to joke that when I realized I was gay, I couldn’t be in the closet – there was no room with all of my clothes! I know that I was fortunate. I lived in New York City and worked in fashion.

No one cared if I was gay – just whether I was fabulous.

My first girlfriend did not have the same experience. She wasn’t out at work, or even to herself. Everyone’s coming out journey is her own.

A woman I met over the weekend was telling me about her recent relationship ending. The overarching reason was the fact that her ex was not out. They’d had a 10-year on-again offagain relationship (lesbians? Never!), and although she still loved her partner very much, she just couldn’t do it. She couldn’t spend one more moment in a closeted relationship.

This has always been an issue for me. Although there are still challenges, even people in the military don’t have to hide anymore – yet I am repeatedly told that the reason people aren’t out at work is because they are in a “very important position within the company.”

Why would you spend so much time in a place where you can’t be yourself?

You can’t talk about your girlfriend/ boyfriend/partner/spouse. You have to change pronouns. You use euphemistic terms like “my friend” when you mention them. You can’t hold hands in public for fear of someone from work seeing you. This is no way to live.

Isn’t the best thing about being say, a vice president is that you have achieved a respected status? People look at you as providing a real asset to their team. This kind of position is exactly when coming out would have the most impact. This would prove that our sexual orientations have nothing to do with whether we are good at our jobs. It is by coming out we can show those that will be coming behind us

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ BODY & MIND ] ]

Robyn Vie-Carpenter that who you love has nothing to do with your aspirations.

As an adult, I had the privilege of working with a student gay-straight alliance for a short stint. The fact that schools have these kinds of clubs/ groups is awesome. Children can be extraordinarily mean, and those mean kids can make life hell in school. For National Coming Out Day, the GSA wanted to do something that would be important. It was decided to give everyone the opportunity to come out for something, preferably something that no one knew about you previously. Students came out as Yankees fans (this was Massachusetts). Jocks came out as musicians (this was pre-Glee).

It was a great success. What struck me the most was that these children were working hard to create an inclusive environment for their peers.

What also struck me is that adults do not do this for theirs.

I remember impatiently waiting to grow up – a time when you finally get to do what you want and be who you want, or so I thought. What I found was people aren’t necessarily any more tolerant, prejudices don’t go away unless that person puts forth the effort to make the change. Adults can be mean. And now those mean kids can get you fired.

We need to get beyond high school. We need to break free of the “differences freak me out” mentality.

We have to encourage people to not just get older, but grow up. We have to stand up to the mean kids. We have to come out – do it for the ones who love you. ] Email Robyn at goddessofjoy1@gmail.com.

BOULDERITE BEAUTY

Real beauty, for everyone

Earlier this week, I attended a screen- lipstick or diet tips of the stars? I desing of Miss Representation, a recent perately wanted to write this column, documentary that profiles women in but not in a way that contributed to the growing culture the media and of image-obsessed how they are America “Miss grossly misrepreRepresentation” sented in movies, was commenting politics and on. business (get it, After some deget it?). liberation, I decided I went in to I would become the movie with Out Front’s new low expectations, beauty contributor, anticipating an but on my terms. hour-long lecture Being silent would of how women only endorse the are mistreated Kelsey Lindsey thought beauty and abused: poor defenseless animals in the big bad magazines seem to push upon their readers, that an acceptance of one’s body world of entertainment and politics.

Admittedly, there was a lot of and beauty is a form of weakness and this – facts and figures citing female complacently. I wanted to debunk the presence in the U.S. House of Repre- overriding notion in publishing that one sentatives (it’s 17 percent), amongst must always be striving for an inhuman Fortune 500 CEOs (3 percent) and standard of beauty, spending thousands power positions in the mainstream on products and procedures along the media (3 percent again). The numbers way. I wanted to do something different.

So let me begin with this: You are were startling, but the statistic that really spoke to me was the fact that beautiful, just the way you are.

Cheesy? Yes. Start of an awful boy 78 percent of 17-year-old girls are unhappy with their bodies, up from band song? Yes. But also true. It will be my goal for this column to help you 53 percent of 13-year-old girls.

78 percent! Sitting in the dark enhance this beauty, not cover it up or theater I thought to myself; if insecuri- hide it with layers of makeup. Offering ty rises in just four years, what share of health tips, skin tips and more, I want women in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond to make you all feel 100 percent happy with your body, every day. are unhappy with their bodies?

So the introductions and awkward Afterward, I checked my email and found an offer from Out Front’s execu- beginnings are through. My name is tive editor, Holly Hatch, in my inbox, Kelsey, and I am a beauty columnist. It asking me to write a monthly beauty is a pleasure to meet you, readers of Out Front. You beautiful people you. ] column. Oh, the irony.

I was conflicted. Should I recognize my newly formulated feelings of female Kelsey Lindsey is a former intern at Out empowerment in this first article, or dis- Front and is finishing up her degree in regard them altogether, instead making English at Colorado University, Boulder. my pilot piece about the best color of Email to Kelsey@outfrontonline.com

[ [ BODY & MIND ] ]

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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THRIVE

What LGBT people should know about the

HPV Vaccine

By Terrell Wallin

Many have seen the “One Less” commercials for Gardasil, one of two HPV vaccines that became available in 2006 and 2007 and are most widely known to help protect young women at risk of cervical cancer.

The human papillomavirus, or HPV, is the most common sexually transmitted infection in United States, with more than 50 percent of sexually active Americans expected to contract it in their lifetimes.

There are more than 100 different strains of the virus, which spreads through skinto-skin contact and can lead to genital warts or something more serious – cancers of the cervix, vulva, vagina, anus, penis and in the back of the throat.

In the “One Less” commercials, it is evident who the vaccine is marketed toward: women under the age of 26. That’s all it was approved for until 2009, when it became approved for young men as well.

That’s important to the LGBT community, because gay and bisexual men tend to be more at risk for HPV than lesbian or bisexual women – and like many other STIs, there is a higher probability of contracting it when the exposure is through anal sex. But since HPV can be transferred through skin contact, lesbian women should still be concerned, too.

“Risk is not a manner of identity,” said Betsy Cairo, a human reproductive health doctor and certified reproductive biologist and sex educator. “It is a function of behavior. Everyone runs the risk of infection.”

But why is it limited to people under age 26? It hasn’t been tested for anyone over that age – and statistically, one in four Americans will come in contact with HPV by the age of 19. Cairo looks at this statistic and notes that it may not offer much help for already sexually active adults.

“In terms of the research, people in that age group of 27 or older have already

been exposed,” Cairo said. She added that if someone is confident that they have not come into contact with the virus, they can get it from a doctor who approves of giving the vaccine to those over 26.

The “One Less” commercials advertise a vaccine that can prevent four strains of HPV: 6, 11, 16 and 18. The Gardisil shots can prevent these strains of HPV, two of which cause most genital warts, while the other two cause most HPV-related cancers. But this is not the end-all-be-all to the issue.

Although it prevents the four strains most commonly tied to cancer and genital warts, it still misses a multitude of other strains that can cause cancer or warts but have much lower incident rates.

Another setback, for some, is the cost of the vaccine. The CDC reports that the average price of the shot is $130, adding up to an average $390 for the whole series of shots. Some doctors, including Betsy Cairo, say that the HPV vaccine is not a complete hit.

“There’s a lot of missed coverage,” Cairo said. “Also, if you have had any of these strains, it won’t help to protect you against that particular strain. It’s important for people to know why and what they are getting and know about the protection that the shot itself offers.”

In the end, both Cairo and the CDC agree that you should get the shot if it is right for you, but do not let it be your main line of defense from HPV. Safe sex practices, such as condoms and dental dams, can help to decrease the chance of contracting HPV but not completely. The best way to prevent HPV is to be tested and knowledgeable about the virus and your reproductive health.

If the Gardisil vaccine is something that interests you, you can talk to your doctor, pay a visit to the Department of Health or Planned Parenthood, or you can go to the CDC website for more information about the vaccine. ]

... gay and bisexual men tend to be more at risk for HPV than lesbian or bisexual women ...

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ BODY & MIND ] ]

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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BLEED LIKE ME

Phraseology and phonetics While some can still Michael had the most find these jokes pretty exciting friends in the tasteless, others, such world. They were attracas myself, often laugh tive, witty and sassy in and get reminded that just the right ways. With is indeed OK to laugh all that he had been at some of life’s more through, he considered tragic sides. So when himself lucky to belong is makeshift mockery to such an exclusive a little too much for group of guys. the topic?

On an evening Perhaps comedians where they all decided make such remarks that a boys-night-in that laugh through to would be better than a get a shock reaction. boys-night-out, the crew But we are not all hung out at Michael’s Scott McGlothlen comedians on stage home, drinking and in our daily lives. As laughing. Two friends non-entertainers, we laugh with others began to wrestle in a tickle fight.

“Stop stop,” one conceded while while at work, in a bar or at dinner with giggling. “Stop or you will give me the hiv.” friends. Our peers may find us hilarious, Michael stopped dead in his tracks. He but consistently using offensive termicouldn’t put his finger on it, but somehow nology can begin to look like a personal value rather than a distasteful joke. he knew this felt horribly offensive.

When it comes to HIV, bad phonetThe other friend wasn’t HIV-positive. Michael could only assume this ics and phraseologies become casually joke was made in a bad-taste effort worked into our mentality. And “the to call his buddy a slut. Everyone else hiv” is becoming a bit of an epidemic laughed hysterically. Michael’s stomach in itself – with more people saying it, churned as he secretly harbored his such a common slur dehumanizes the own recent diagnosis. He hadn’t told seriousness of HIV. While some may assume that joking anyone yet. And suddenly his friends like this now should be OK since treatdidn’t seem so amazing after all.

Like gender or sexual orientation, ment has improved so vastly, they might HIV status has adopted its own offen- not consider the fact that the stigma of sive terminology that can be hurtful to the disease can make it one of the most hear. Phrases like “the hi-five” or “the socially and emotionally taxing long-term hiv” (phonetic pronouncement of HIV) diseases in our modern culture. Online have made their way into our modern sex ads alone jack up the unnecessary hulanguage. While these were probably miliation by with terms like “DDF” (drug conjured up as a way to make light-heart- and disease free) or “you must be clean.” ed remarks about a dark situation, rarely Utilizing hurtful phonetics for our own raunchy humor only piles on the shame does anything feel light about them.

“The hiv” especially has started to that an HIV positive person can feel.

People who use “the hiv” joke may not gain footing amongst gay men as a way to make HIV a laughing matter. Ironically it mean to hurt feelings, but it’s like making is the more offensive of these new phrase- a rape joke in front of someone who had ologies. While meant as a joke, no HIV been raped. It doesn’t just hurt a person positive people are knuckle bumping each secretly coping with HIV, but also furthers the social stigma of this disease. other saying “What up, my hiv?”

Unfortunately with younger generaHIV carries a heavy amount of stigma as it is, even in the gay community. So tions’ unawareness about HIV, things smearing it as such can easily add insult to like this happen all too often. And a injury that has already been insulted. This simple phonetic pronunciation can doesn’t necessarily mean that no one can make people like Michael feel quietly laugh about HIV ever. Shock comics like obliterated in the moments they do. ] Daniel Tosh and Sarah Silverman often use the topic of AIDS in their routines. Email Scott at bleedlikescott@gmail.com

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ BODY & MIND ] ]

FAITH & SPIRIT

A reconciling journey priest.” For many in our community, Being raised in Catholic school, reciting the that would render me anathema. Little rosary, serving as an altar boy, receiving wonder, given the rhetoric emanating communion, enveloped in swirling clouds from the “institutional” church. of incense to the mystical tones of GregoReligion and spirituality have been a rian chant was de rigueur. Although much source of controversy for the LGBTQ comhas changed since then, that somewhat munity. Conversely, it has been a source of mystical and spiritual experience was controversy in the Church. Although we deeply imprinted on my soul. I knew from have many allies among Catholics, seema very early age I wanted to be a priest. ingly the issue is moot in Rome. As we Catholic spirituality was deeply rooted Father Frank Quintana strive for equality, we realize that we have in my life, until I came out of the closet.

I tried for so many years to be straight, or at least deny few options with the inhibiting bias of that tradition.

The Spirit is changing the world and with that my “gayness.” In my ministry as a priest, I founded and directed a housing ministry for people living with HIV/ comes reclaiming our place as followers of Jesus. To AIDS. It was during that time – as I observed the faith, paraphrase Mohandas Gandhi, Be the change you courage and love of those living and dying in my care – want to see in the Church.

We have survived our personal struggles to exthat I came to realize that gay folk were not “inherently disordered” nor their love “intrinsically evil.” It gave me emplify God’s outrageously inclusive Love. We have the courage to be honest about who I am. It also signaled an inherently larger spiritual vision and an intrinsic the end of my ministry, for a time. I was excused from the sense of God’s all-embracing goodness.

I found a home in the Ecumenical Catholic Comministry, and for a number of years, I left the church.

Yet years later, I realized that my deep spiritual munion. Most of us are life-long Catholics. We share a roots and love of Jesus was just as much a part of me as common theology and liturgical tradition with the one, my sexuality. I had to face coming out yet again. This holy, catholic and apostolic Church. We do not particitime I had to come out to my partner and my friends. pate in the canon law of the Roman Catholic Church.

“Yes, I am religious. And yes, I am no longer an ex- We possess the long Catholic tradition of the Gospel of

[ [ BODY & MIND ] ]

Justice and Peace. Our by-word is “All are welcome.” We embrace and celebrate the LGBTQ community in five congregations along the Front Range.

In our efforts to expand that same Spirit of inclusion, we are exploring further opportunities to build relationships in the Metro area. On Saturday, Oct. 6, from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m., we will hold ‘Bless our Pets.’ The Blessing will take place at Stapleton’s Central Park near the entrance, just east of Martin Luther King, Jr. Boulevard and Xenia Street, north of the playground. Pets must be leashed, kenneled or caged. We will collect animal food to donate to P.A.W.S., which provides supportive care for companion animals of seniors, persons with disabilities or with life-challenging illnesses. There will be photo ops for you and your pet. For further information call 303-394-3034. ] Father Frank Quintana is priest in charge of Imago Dei Ministries, providing pastoral care, meaningful liturgy, spiritual direction, retreats, couples ministry, sacramental ministry. Father Frank is also available for weddings/holy unions, anniversary renewal of vows, baptisms, house blessings, adoption Blessings, hospital/sick visitation and mass of Christian burial/funeral rites. Online at http:// imagodei-ecc.org. For information on the Ecumenical Catholic Communion visit http://ecumenical-catholiccommunion.org.

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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Story by Matthew Pizzuti, Lauren Archuletta and Holly Hatch Photography by http://anthonynorrisphotography.com

N

ELLIS MCFADDEN Community member Ellis McFadden is receiving the special Publisher’s Lifetime Achievement Award for his life-long dedication to the community as a volunteer and activist.

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o matter what you choose to do in life, Ellis But when that happened, McFadden kept ties with his McFadden said, “just get involved.” For most recent buddy, who is still alive and who he still the lifelong community volunteer and activist tries to visit once a month.

The engagement extends to electoral politics, too.

– engaged in Colorado’s LGBT community for decades – that isn’t something he preaches from a “I love canvassing,” McFadden said – he’s gone doorto-door for a long list of state legislative candidates distance. He walks the walk.

“When I first came out, there was a group called including Reps. Andy Kerr, Diane Primavera, Max Tyler, Daniel Kagan and Joe Mikklosi, now ‘Coming Out Group,’” McFadden said, a candidate for U.S. congress, House which was his first experience with candidate Tracy Kraft-Tharp and LGBT activism in Denver. That Sen. Evie Hudak. was 36 years ago, McFadden It’s more than just time said, when he was just 27.

“I like writing checks that McFadden gives. It’s “Then I found out The and supporting what energy, care, passion and Center was opening – it money. was first in a little rental I give time to. My “I like writing building,” McFadden financial planner said checks and supporting said. He started working I write too many. So I what I give time to,” the phones and donated McFadden said. “My a phone line to the had to cut back. I guess financial planner said effort when The Center I’ve still gotta live. But I write too many. So I needed one. to me that’s not as had to cut back. I guess His involvement conimportant as I’ve still gotta live. But to tinued through the years. me that’s not as important When the Colorado AIDS supporting things.” as supporting things.”

Project was new, McFadden Becoming well-known and volunteered, participating recognized for his involvement in a project called “the buddy is “kind of humbling,” McFadden program,” which paired volunteers said. “A lot of people I hang out with are with people suffering from HIV to offer a caring friend and keep their hopes up, holding the more deserving.”

But while he’s getting some attention for his work, loneliness at bay. That was taxing, dedicated work – his message is for others to do the same. buddy after buddy died of AIDS. “Why can’t somebody stuff an envelope for an That program is now gone – it ended at about the time that new drugs allowed HIV-positive people to hour?” McFadden asked. “A couple hours, a couple live much longer and have much more normal lives. days – it makes a difference.”

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ COVER STORY ] ]

CRISTINA AGUILAR Vice chair of the Denver GLBT Commission and deputy director of COLOR – Colorado Organization for Latina Opportunity and Reproductive Rights – Aguilar is honored for her extensive volunteer work, including cofounding One Colorado’s People of Color Caucus and leading the charge to lobby Denver’s City Council to pass a referendum supporting a state bill for civil unions in 2012.

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olorado is increasingly diverse, and that announced the city’s support for the the growing inclusiveness of the civil unions bill, approved by all but one LGBT activist community is largely due council member.

But Aguilar’s political work is complito the commitment of people like Cristina Aguilar. Serving as vice-chair of the GLBT mented by efforts on the community level Commission for the City of Denver and as well; she’s been volunteering with One the co-founder of One Colorado’s People Colorado, a statewide LGBT advocacy of Color Caucus, Aguilar works day in group, since the organization began.

After attending a town hall and day out for both her Latino meeting organized by One and LGBT communities.

Colorado for LGBT “I feel very passionLatinos, Aguilar decided ate and I identify very “We wanted to she wanted to become strongly as a Latina more involved with and a queer person,” bring as much the communities she Aguilar said. “I really diversity to our represents. believe in the imgroups and the “I basically just portance of building larger LGBT put out there that I bridges within the wanted to be a part communities with community as of their work moving which I identify.” possible.” forward,” Aguilar said.

In June 2010, Aguilar Aguilar met with Karen was appointed as a new Collier, who had a similar member of Denver’s GLBT passion after attending a town hall commission and spent the first year working on the public policy com- meeting for African-Americans. Together, mittee. “We worked on getting the com- the two formed One Colorado’s People of mission to pass a number of resolutions Color Caucus, a taskforce to bring inthat would have a direct impact to the tersecting concerns to the forefront.

“Cristina deserves the recognition LGBT community,” Aguilar said.

In 2012 Aguilar was active in the because she is devoted and very willing effort to pass the Colorado Civil Union to be involved in the issues that we face in our community,” Collier said. “ObviAct through Colorado’s legislature.

“I worked in conjunction with Paul ously, she brings diversity which is sorely Lopez and Robin Kniech to get the city needed to the groups of folks who are council proclamation passed in support working on those issues.”

“I am a Latina queer person who is of the civil unions act,” Aguilar said. “We worked to gain city approval for com- representing another part of our commissioners to speak, testify and lobby in munity,” Aguilar said. “I’m hoping to change the hearts and minds of Latinos support of the bill.”

The effort successfully led to a Feb. that may not be used to seeing a Latina 13 Denver City Council proclamation queer woman on television.”

[ [ COVER STORY ] ]

ROGER SHERMAN Legislative strategist and issue advocate Roger Sherman is honored as the public face of Fight Back Colorado, an organization working to elect a legislative majority that would pass civil unions in Colorado.

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oger Sherman – concerned citizen. Fordham said. “He will deploy financial The chief operating officer of CRL As- resources into the districts of the most vulsociates Inc., a professional public policy nerable, anti-gay lawmakers – paving the and lobbying firm, deals with the public way for their defeat.”

Fordham is confident that Sherman interest as a part of his year-round work.

But outside of the office, Sherman throws will enlighten GOP lawmakers and himself into LGBT issues because he Colorado citizens about civil union rights. cares about his community. It is because Sherman’s commitment to his Denver community and the confidence of his commitment and concern that others have in his work that he first became involved earned him a nomination in Fight Back Colorado. for recognition.

“I think I’m involved “… my hope “I am personally in lots of issues,” is that after very honored that Out Sherman said. “But Front selected me,” Fight Back Colorado November, there Sherman said. “Out is certainly one that’s isn’t anything Front is an instituvery personal to more for Fight tion in the state of me. It’s something Colorado. It is an inI do because it’s imBack Colorado stitution in the gay and portant that we have to do.” lesbian community. So marriage equity.” of course, being honored is Fight Back Colorado huge.” was launched in June after For the next few weeks, the legislative session turned down a civil union bill. Sherman, now serving as Sherman will remain dedicated to his the public face and treasurer of Fight Back cause with Fight Back Colorado, as he Colorado, immediately got involved to get is hoping that their goal will be accomplished by Nov. 6. pro-equity candidates elected.

“We’re hoping to put ourselves out “My partner and I have been involved in civil unions discussions the last couple of business,” Sherman said. “The next of years,” Sherman said. “We were sup- 48 days are important as we continue to porters of One Colorado, and then Fight fight. So my hope is that after November, there isn’t anything more for Fight Back Back Colorado was launched.”

In recent months, Sherman has Colorado to do.”

After the dust settles from the Power worked tirelessly for civil union rights.

Kirk Fordham, executive director of Party and the upcoming election, Gill Action, said Sherman is leading Sherman said plans to continue to fight the most focused and impacting effort for various causes and issues.

“Personally, after that I will be in the state to ensure the passage of working on all sorts of equity issues and civil unions in 2013.

“Roger is patient and methodical,” support other causes,” Sherman said.

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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JACE WOODRUM Statewide LGBT advocacy organization One Colorado’s deputy director Jace Woodrum is honored for coming out publicly as a trans man this year and sharing the story of his transition to raise awareness of transgender issues.

’ve always believed in the power of stories,” elevated within the LGBT movement.”

That’s especially true when it comes to the health said Jace Woodrum, deputy director for statewide LGBT advocacy organization One Colorado. care system, Woodrum said – something One Colorado “When we get to know someone and their stories, has worked on and found to be especially troublesome for transgender Coloradans. A 2011 Healthcare it creates a connection.”

Woodrum had already been helping LGBT Colora- Survey by One Colorado found that transgender redans and their families share stories with voters and spondents have not only some of the lowest rates of instate legislators in the battle for civil unions when he surance coverage but difficulty finding unprejudiced physicians who understand trans health care needs realized that he, too, had a special one to tell.

- something Woodrum is seeing firsthand, be it “When I realized I was trans, I had a choice hormones or surgery. to make in how I wanted that to be. My job Health care is “something that has a public nature and I decided not “... this experience touches trans people every day,” to hide or run from that,” Woodrum made me realize how Woodrum said. said.

To the community response to important it is that So in April this year, Woodrum Woodrum’s transition – honoring announced publicly that he is trans, issues important to trans Woodrum as one of those who took detailing the transition process for people are elevated a risk, and made a difference this all to see. within the LGBT year – “it means a lot,” Woodrum “Many people in the LGB commumovement.” said. “It’s the first recognition I’ve nity didn’t understand what it means received as a trans person; the first recto be trans,” Woodrum said. “I’ve been ognition I’ve received as who I am, after diskind of exploring my gender for a decade. covering who I am. It’s humbling because so many I’ve always considered myself a little bit a part of the trans community; I always felt I was gender-queer. But others in the LGBT community are giving so much.

I didn’t embrace the label as trans until after I was in a It’s humbling to be recognized above so many others public role. I knew people as Jess, and wanted them to I know are giving back.”

“We are very slowly making progress” on trans meet me as Jace.”

Since he began his transition, Woodrum said, “it’s issues, Woodrum said, but there’s still a ways to go. “I been an incredible look at the difficulties trans people hope this encourages other members of the trans comexperience – accessing health care, changing a name. munity to reach out to me, to One Colorado, to share Going through this experience made me realize how their stories and get involved in the work that’s being important it is that issues important to trans people are done for trans equality in Colorado,” Woodrum said.

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GARY WILSON Denver Director of Corrections Gary Wilson is honored for being a straight ally in leading an initiative to provide fair accommodation for transgender people entering Denver’s criminal justice system.

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he justice system can be a scary place for anyone partments sensitivity to transgender issues and finding themselves on the wrong end of it, but develop the new policies.

A new permanent review board will address Colorado’s transgender community members are especially vulnerable to harassment, misidentification persons identifying as transgender on a case-by-case and physical and emotional danger in corrections basis, taking input from a team of psychologists, a classification staff and an LGBT community advocate to programs and jails.

Until recently, the Denver Sherriff’s Department come up with individualized recommendations.

“With all that expertise there, we look at what’s best jail system didn’t have a consistent way of processing and housing transgender inmates – often shuffling for that individual,” Wilson said. “It’s a huge cultural them to special management, which may result shift in the system. It could very well affect a person in being locked down 23 hours of the day. who is transgender to be placed in housing of For Director of Corrections Gary Wilson, the gender they identify with.”

“It could very that was a problem.

Wilson said it wasn’t a complicated “In the past, for persons who decision to set up the process – it’s “to well affect a person were transgender that would come ensure safety for all individuals that who is transgender into our system – mostly pre-op income through, and to prevent harm to be placed in dividuals – it wasn’t a guarantee, for everyone who comes through.” housing of the but very close to a guarantee that “If persons who are transgendered gender they those individuals would end up in can function in our community, we an isolated cell,” Wilson said. need to find a way for them to function identify with.”

Wilson was instrumental in the new in the jail system. We’re absolutely compolicies that came to be – through a taskmitted to that – it’s about fairness and safety. force of mental health professionals, uniformed So all individuals who come through can have officers and community voices – much more apt to access to all the programs and services.” address transgender identities. The unprecedented It’s humbling, Wilson said, to be recognized by new policies and recommendations, announced in the community for that work. “I absolutely see it June, will be subject to continuous review and revision. as an honor to be recognized. I would like it to be Experts on transgender and legal issues from known this could only have been done with several the GLBT Community Center of Colorado, Denver’s members of the Denver Sheriff’s Department, branch of the ACLU, Denver’s GLBT Commission, [The Center’s transgender program coordinator] Wilson and Denver Sherriff’s Department staff Courtney Gray, Mindy Barton and many other indimembers worked to increase the Sherriff’s De- viduals in the LGBT community.”

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ COVER STORY ] ]

MICHELE OSTRANDER Komen Foundation Denver Affiliate Director Michele Ostrander is honored for her willingness to speak up when Komen threatened to cut off funding for life-saving breast cancer screenings for low-income women through Planned Parenthood.

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s director of the Komen Foundation’s lationship with Planned Parenthood. We Denver affiliate, Michele Ostrander let Nancy Brinkler know that Planned Parsays her duty is to educate women on the enthood was an important access point for women in our community.” importance of breast health.

They petitioned the national office for “The best defense against breast cancer is to treat it early,” Ostrander said, noting an exception for Denver – which they that while late-stage breast cancer has a got – but that left out other affiliates and put Denver’s breast health program five-year survival rate of 23 percent, through Planned Parenthood the same measure for breast at risk for future years. cancer caught and treated Ostrander and her early is 98 percent.

“I’m proud of the colleagues decided to With that comes the stance that Komen go public with their importance of accessDenver took. I hope concerns – at risk of ing care – a challenge losing their jobs. That that affects lesbians that being honored didn’t stop them. in particular because brings awareness to “We were putting they may not receive the importance of our affiliation status medical benefits breast health.” on the line speaking out, through their partners and speaking out against or know LGBT-competent the founder of the organizadoctors, Ostrander said. tion. We didn’t feel they had good Ostrander said low-income women can access early treatment reason [to de-fund Planned Parenthood] – through Komen’s breast health program they gave us a couple of different reasons, through Planned Parenthood, which neither of which we felt were legitimate.”

When the news of Komen’s decision offers mammograms and diagnostics, broke, it ignited a national political conand refers diagnoses to treatment.

Ostrander found her Denver organiza- troversy and backlash from women’s tion at the heart of what would become a health groups. Many of Komen’s donors national controversy – last December, she withdrew. Under heavy criticism from and her colleagues learned Komen would within and outside the organization, Komen reversed its decision within days. announce plans to cut the program off.

“I’m proud of the stance that Komen “Our national office made the decision to effectively de-fund Planned Parent- Denver took,” Ostrander said. “And I’m hood,” Ostrander said. “I went to our glad that stance is recognized by the board of directors to say that wasn’t ac- community. I hope that being honored ceptable for our community.” Her local brings awareness to the importance of board agreed. “Locally, we had a good re- breast health.”

[ [ COVER STORY ] ]

Jonathon Marquez and Mollie Lehmen

THE DENVER GAY AND LESBIAN FLAG FOOTBALL LEAGUE The Denver Gay and Lesbian Flag Football League is Denver’s fastest-growing LGBT sports league, recognized for bringing gay men and lesbians together, contributing to women’s equality in LGBT sports, and its successful efforts to bring the national 2012 Gay Bowl to Colorado.

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ports play a central role in tinued to grow,” Marquez said. “Now, we American culture – inspiring com- can finally financially support individumunity pride, better fitness and a bit als who can’t afford registration, who want to play and be in the league. And we of healthy competition.

This hasn’t always been the case, though, are continuing to expand our presence, in the LGBT community. Gay sports leagues and philosophy of good and healthy comare recently rising in popularity, clear in munity through sports and team-building. I’m very proud of that and how part through the rapid expansion of orfar we’ve come.” ganizations like the Denver Gay Denver’s league is now and Lesbian Flag Football “This is the fifth-largest gay and League, commissioner of lesbian flag football the DGLFFL Jonathon a league that league in the nation, Marquez said. really is a built on devotion The DGLFFL family, we are of organizers like invites players reinvolved with Marquez, and by gardless of experieach other Mollie Lehmen, coence and skill level. director of the Denver Organizers strive for beyond just Gay Bowl – the national a community based on football.” tournament that was suchealth, fitness, camaracessfully brought to Denver derie and family. over the weekend of Sept. 21. The Marquez said his belief in community drove him to invest his time event brought more than 600 players on and energy. “I talk to people who had few 40 teams.

Though Lehmen is a longtime athlete, friends in the community [before they joined the league] and now, they have she said she believes the league should 300 friends,” Marquez said. “People who be built on community rather than skill.

“I’m touched by the personal ‘coming weren’t previously engaged now are, and use that as a platform to gain connections out’ stories and challenges of my LGBT in other areas of interest. This league footballers and friends,” Lehmen said. really is a family; we are involved with “This league is not about how good you each other beyond just football.” are, how fast you are, or how well you Marquez said he initially came across can catch the ball. It is all about being some doubt that the DGLFFL would take authentic and making meaningful off. But just four and a half years later, connections through the sport of flag the Denver league has 280 players and football. The ability to be authentic is an just added its 20th team. amazing freedom and this is exactly the “Literally, by word of mouth, we con- message that I want everyone to feel.”

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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SHARI WILKINS Retired school principal Shari Wilkins is director of SAGE of the Rockies at The GLBT Center. Shari Wilkins is honored for her dedication to vulnerable LGBT elders both in and out of the closet, and contributions to facilitating Denver’s out senior citizen community.

oung LGBT people are coming of age into a world and it’s so important, and I think it’s fabulous.”

John Kelly, an elder, activist and veteran in Denver, that increasingly welcomes them with diminishing prejudice, expanded social spaces and community speaks to Wilkins’ service: “Shari is one of the most nonresources. But for the generations that built the early judgmental people I’ve ever met,” Kelly said. “She has LGBT movement in the first place, there’s still the task helped develop and expand the GLBT Center programs that provide options for GLBT seniors facing isolation, of developing what it means to be an LGBT elder.

Shari Wilkins, director of SAGE of the Rockies, lack of motivation and simple access to the complicated a program within The GLBT Community Center of myriad of services available or not available.”

For Wilkins, it’s not just about her generation but Colorado, is eager for the task. her own elders as well.

“I was a school principal when I retired “I have an 85-year-old lesbian aunt 10 years ago,” Wilkins said, “and I who is not out and will never be out,” was looking for ways to engage in “I worry that Wilkins said. “I love her very much service organizations and inadelders in the and to see her struggle as she ages vertently ended up at SAGE. community are rehas been difficult. It’s wrong. It’s I thought I’d retired, but the a waste of a wonderful human passion around elders in the closeting and fearful, being, and I worry about that with community has continued to be and I hate that. They all elders in the community.” very important to me. I really should be proud, As time goes by, Wilkins pointed worry that elders in the commusharing in the out, it’s getting more apparent how nity are re-closeting and fearful, community.” complex and diverse the community and I hate that. They should be is – and more clear why work must be proud, sharing in the community.” done in all areas.

In addition to providing social oppor“When I started, there weren’t many women tunities for LGBT seniors, Shari advocates for assistance for LGBT seniors in poverty and those with or trans folks in the program,” Wilkins said. “I barriers in accessing Medicare or Medicaid, and thought we really needed to round that out more. partner benefits due to their partnerships being un- We are really getting more people of color, which I’m thrilled to see.” recognized by the government.

Wilkins lives in the philosophy that elders can live “This has been so empowering to have this job,” Wilkins said. “To be a part of something and to be rec- and age successfully with the right tools from the comognized at the local and national level. There are so munity. As she said, from a personal and professional many incredible people opening their arms to elders, scope, “It’s a great time to be old and queer.”

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JOSEPH SOTO College freshman and political activist Joseph Soto, member of Colorado’s Youth Advisory Council and Aurora Youth Commission, is honored for his extensive volunteer work in Colorado politics, including work on major political campaigns and initiatives, relationship recognition and immigration rights.

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oseph Soto is only 18 years old, but the Aurora nity resources to help people.”

Intertwined with his work in community activism native and now Colorado University freshman has done more political work than most people do in their has been Soto’s own journey – coming out.

“A year ago, I wouldn’t have been as comfortable entire lives.

“I’m proud of fighting hard for civil unions this being out. It’s nice to be recognized by people who are year, and for in-state tuition [for undocumented im- like you,” Soto said.

Soto is hardly taking a moment to bask in recogmigrants],” Soto said. “But what differs this year is that we got not only political people like me who are nition, instead looking to the future and the work he says still needs to be done: “We still have work to do usually involved, but people who aren’t usually.” on things like the Employee Non-DiscriminaSoto volunteered for Barack Obama’s tion Act, on transgender rights,” he said.

2008 presidential campaign at age 14, “In the next year or two what we working voter registration and get“… we’ve made out-the-vote efforts. should be talking about is suicide “We do that the traditional prevention, and I think more so much progress way,” Soto said. “Calling people, pressing than gay marriage is since 1969 that if we canvassing.” He also volunteered how we address the fact that, disdon’t get involved – if for U.S. Sen. Michael Bennet and proportionally, there are more young people don’t get gay kids who are homeless, more is now turning his attention back involved – it can get to the Obama campaign. gay kids who are bullied, more gay Most of Soto’s work has been kids who are committing suicide.” taken away.” on the Democratic Party’s issues, but Soto, who will be 19 in October, is he doesn’t see the call to involvement studying economics and plans to earn as a way to tow the party line – for him, it’s double degrees with international affairs. about basic justice beyond party lines and electoral He talks about the issues he’s passionate about with a politics. “I know there are a lot of gay Republicans,” notable intelligence, presence and maturity that makes Soto said, “and I understand that no matter what side it hard to avoid thinking he’ll soon be a familiar face in you get involved in, it’s important to get involved.”

Colorado politics – and even on the ballot. Yes, he said, “Previous generations have done so much to get us he hopes to someday run for office. where we are,” Soto said, “and we’ve made so much “I’d love to be working on the first campaign for a progress since 1969 that if we don’t get involved – if major gay presidential candidate,” Soto said. “I think young people don’t get involved – it can get taken that in the next 10, 15, 20 years, making sure marriage away. A big question for me is how we use commu- equality is a reality in all 50 states is going to be huge.”

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ COVER STORY ] ]

MARIO NICOLAIS Spokesman of the pro-equality Republican grassroots organization Coloradans for Freedom, Mario Nicolais is honored for his work to win Republican support for relationship recognition and bring a pro-equality platform to both sides of the aisle.

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GBT people won’t advance in the fight different groups to show that, look, for equality without allies. Mario there’s a great deal of support from a lot Nicolais, an attorney with Hackstaff Law of people. We are building national recGroup, is the public face of Coloradans for ognition [with Coloradans for Freedom], Freedom, the grassroots Republican orga- that are big movements for the Repubnization that advocated on behalf of civil lican party,” he said. “We hope to grow our voice and fuel change. Republicans unions in Colorado. are ready to vote for civil unions. We A straight supporter of relationare ready to make it law. We ship recognition for same-sex hope to help make that a couples, he believes that reality, bring it to the equality transcends “I’m the last guy one floor, and to convince party lines. would think to be adamant multiple Republi“It’s all about or involved in the issue. I’m a cans that it truly basic values,” straight white guy who goes is a bipartisan Nicolais said. “It’s to church. But it’s important to effort.” an equality issue. realize that Republicans “A lot of us I’m the last guy consider ourselves one would think and conservatives are more traditional Reto be adamant or not just outliers in these publicans,” Nicolais involved in the issue. social issues.” said. “A lot has changed I’m a straight white guy in the party in the last 20 who goes to church. But years, and a lot of the social opit’s important to realize that Republicans and conservatives are not position is coming from the Evangelical just outliers in these social issues. We movement, who happen to also be Republicans. For me, Republican ideas are still believe in values and equality.”

Nicolais said he hopes to change the not based on equality of outcome, it’s impression that Republican values aren’t equality of how the government views inclusive of LGBT people. He said Colora- you, and that’s a Republican idea.”

One Colorado’s Executive Director dans for Freedom is creating an “aggregate voice” for the Republican Party – and Brad Clark, recognized Nicolais’ noted that some of the most committed efforts. “Mario is the future of the Reactivists in the Republican party thought publican party,” Clark said. “Without a Colorado’s civil unions bill should have doubt – no one has changed the converpassed – and gives credit to Republican sation about civil unions in Colorado state Rep. BJ Nikkel for giving the bill a more than him and Coloradans for Freedom. His selfless advocacy for our crucial vote of support in 2012.

“I’m more glad we can bring together community is humbling.”

[ [ COVER STORY ] ]

RAY RODRIGUEZ AND PHIL VILLOTTI Owners of The Bar, a new bar in Denver, Rodriquez and Villotti are honored for their work building a new safe space for Denver’s gay community on South Broadway and for using their business to raise funds and awareness for LGBT nonprofits in Denver.

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ard at work in a bar on South nity,” Andrews said. “To their tireless Broadway, you can find Ray Rodri- efforts and great work, they revived a guez and Phil Villotti: business owners, south Broadway bar into a staple of the proud parents, and contributors to local community, where it has a diverse ray of light and activities.” and national LGBT causes.

Rodriguez and Villotti also stand out for After their children graduated high school and went on to college, the couple charitable donations and fundraising.

“It’s critical that everyone gives of more than 12 years moved from back to the community,” RoArizona to Colorado less than a driguez said. “While we year ago to buy an old bar are not rich by any and remake it as The means, we’re just two Bar, leaving comfort“We realized guys struggling to do able careers behind. that we weren’t anything we can.”

“We realized happy with The couple’s that we weren’t general corporate charitable history happy with general life. If you’re going began in Arizona, corporate life,” where they raised Rodriguez said. “If to take a leap, funds for organizayou’re going to take take a leap.” tions like the Child a leap, take a leap. We Crisis Center and the decided that if we were Arizona AIDS Project. going to put in countless “We raised $6,000 in one day for hours working, it might as well be the Arizona Aids Project,” Rodriguez said. “We for us as opposed to the corporate bank.”

It was the birth of one of Denver’s had gone to a couple of different functions most unique bars: not quite a “gay bar” – and then decided to put on our own show.”

Since coming to Colorado, Rodriguez but distinctly LGBT-welcoming.

“Our stance from when we opened and Villotti have raised money for local orhas been it’s a comfortable and safe ganizations as well as the Red Cross.

“We raised just under $1,000 in a day place for all people,” Rodriguez said. “It’s a social mix for people who just want to when the Colorado Springs fires were burning,” Rodriguez said. enjoy each other’s company.”

Rodriguez said that he and Villotti Sydney Andrews of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force of Denver said the being honored by Out Front is humbling.

“That kind of recognition is just mind two are very “community oriented.”

“Ray and Phil, since arriving in boggling to both of us,” Rodriguez said. “We Denver, have been very open, support- think it’s best to reach out and get involved ive and caring of the Denver commu- in things as you believe in them.” ]

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

A dining experience to pull at your heart-Strings

By Jeffrey Steen When the late Noel Cunningham opened the doors of Strings a quarter of a century ago, Denver didn’t know a scallop from a hockey puck. Slowly, however, he gave the city an honest taste of fine dining – framed by the virtues of local, fresh and seasonal ingredients. He instilled the community with pride in the art of cooking, from which was born the young culinary mecca we know today.

These days, trending names and seductive concepts blanket Denver, but Strings hasn’t fallen by the wayside. Quite the opposite, in fact – it has, in tune with its eversupportive neighborhood and the growth of the city as a whole, refashioned itself for a new era.

Enter the energetic and inspired Pippa Taylor – an unassuming figure with a smile as wide as her imagination. She began her culinary journey in the kitchens of Kevin Taylor’s Prima years ago, leaving behind a once-was career track in finance. Lusting after the creative energy of the culinary arts, she moved her way into the ranks of Cunningham’s Strings. It was there she started on the line, as most established chefs do, and worked her way up until she was crowned executive chef in January of this year.

And while the legacy of Noel Cunningham – inextricably tied to all things fresh and homemade – will forever continue at Strings, the restaurant has found a new and exciting personality.

In utter sincerity, I’d gush over Pippa’s pillowy gnocchi, laced with cream and bedded with a succulent-

ly rich duck confit; I’d rave about the frothy-foamy chilled pea soup, lingering with a vague smokiness and touched with the brightness of lime crème fraîche; and I probably would never shut up about the most ingeniously delicious scallop dish ever set before me, tender and buttery with an apt pair of popcorn purée and smoked pistachios.

And yes, memories of the old Strings might have you thinking you’re too casual for that kind of indulgence, but that’s the brilliance of the new Strings. Tammy Cunningham, who long invested in the restaurant’s character, has given it a new face. While Pippa and her husband, Ryan, oversee culinary creations, Tammy has re-visited the interior, stripping tables of their white tablecloth stuffiness and lining the walls with engaging local and frontier art.

As Pippa told me between laughs about popcorn purée and the curiosities of molecular gastronomy, “We’re a neighborhood bistro – we want people to just stop by.”

And have fun. “I like making people excited about ingredients,” she says. “I want there to be a ‘hmm’ factor – to make people energized about things they have eaten before, prepared in a new way.”

Whence comes her pan-sautéed arugula gnocchi; the soy-lemon ahi tartare; and Pastry Chef Lisa Bailey’s homey panna cotta – a lusciously rich cream decked with homemade strawberry-rhubarb compote and almond crumble, all nestled inside a canning jar.

If fun is part and parcel of the equation, then surely the cocktails are happy additions: The likes of a

Delizios Bistro and Wine Bar 2299 West Main Street Littleton, CO 80120 • (720) 897-6550 http://delizios.com

refreshing Gimlet shares space on a menu with inventive treats like the herbaceous Blooming Garden, laced with rosemary. I’d go so far as to say happy hour has never been quite so happy.

But all good things must come to an end. When the buzz of the dining room fades and the clang of dishes in the open kitchen softens, what’s left of this Denver staple? Just a neighborhood hangout, really – a bistro on the corner of 17th and Humboldt, a cozy spot with downtown to the east and City Park to the west. A place for lunch, for dinner, for drinks. For making memories.

Memories that will continue deep into the next quarter century – and beyond. ]

Serioz Pizzeria 1336 East 17th Avenue Denver, CO 80218 • (303) 997-7679 http://seriozpizza.com

Strings is located at 1700 Humboldt St. Online at http://stringsrestaurant.com

Dining for Charity

One of Noel Cunningham’s passions during his tenure at Strings – and part of his enduring legacy – was reaching out to the community.

That passion manifested decades ago in the form of The Cunningham Foundation – a charity organization engaged in ongoing projects designed to close the gap between the developed and developing worlds. Currently, four projects shape the mission of the Foundation: 4

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Quarters for Kids, HOPE Bracelets, HOPE Heart Beads and Ethiopia Libraries. All of these work to provide food, education, and opportunity to students and community in Ethiopia through donation of money, time, and talent. If you’re interested in learning more or getting involved, please visit their website: cunninghamfoundation.org. As their mission reveals: “So little effort can accomplish so much.”

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ SOCIAL ] ]

Little Dragon 1305 Krameria Street, G Denver CO 80220 • 303-322-2128 http://littledragondenver.com

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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HIGH SOCIETY

New Territories:

Exclusive with

Hunter Valentine’s leading lady

By Robyn Vie-Carpenter Kiyomi McCloskey and her band Hunter Valentine has been tearing up the music scene since the group began in Ontario in 2004. Though some of the band’s members have come and gone, the group has stayed true to its rocker roots. Enter The Real L Word and things just got even better – just one aspect of the great developments.

With their new album “Collide and Conquer” coming out Oct. 23, McCloskey and Hunter Valentine will get to see what kind of boost their connection to the popular reality show has given them.

Out Front had the opportunity to talk to McCloskey, The Real L Word favorite badass, about life and love when everyone can see, being on the road, and what the future holds for her and the band.

Sleeping Beauty

October 5-21 Ellie Caulkins Opera House 1101 13th Street Denver, CO 80204 More info: http://coloradoballet.org (303) 893-4100

You’ll be playing at The Walnut Room in Denver Oct. 16. Have you played here before?

We’ve played Denver a bunch. I’m not familiar with the Walnut Room. We always hit Denver up when we’re on tour. Denver is so beautiful – of all of the landscapes across the country, it’s always really refreshing.

Has your audience changed since the The Real L Word or has it just gotten bigger?

Yeah, we’ve developed a lot of new fans. It’s pretty amazing to see that all go down. I don’t know that the fan-base has changed. What I do know is that they’re really supportive of what we’re doing. And that’s cool.

Photo by Leslie Van Stelten

Kiyomi McCloskey

What’s changed for you and the band since the opportunity of The Real L Word has thrust you into a new kind of spotlight?

I, as an individual, have been offered new and different opportunities. I’m in LA right now. I just finished shooting a short film with Michele Abbott who created The L Word, the drama series. That was a whole new experience for me. I haven’t really acted very much.

They found me through the show. There are a lot of different things that are being presented to us. And it really seems like we’re going forward at a really rapid pace.

Like what?

Two days ago I found out I might be going to Australia, and yesterday I found out the band is going to Japan. So, it’s looking like we’re going to be really, really busy in 2013. Even before that, you know, it’s a pretty exciting time.

Continued on page 54

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Phil Palisoul with Josh Blue

October 6 PACE Center 20000 Pikes Peak Avenue Parker, CO 80138 More info: http://PACEcenteronline.org

For more information on how to get your event listed, please call 303-477-4000

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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LUSH

By Ashley Trego

Cocky about sake

Sake to me! We all have those friends who think that is actually their original phrase to holler every time a sake flask is on the table.

Sort of like those people who use the word “connoisseur” like its goin’ outta style. What the hell is a connoisseur anyway – someone who does a thing a lot? If that is the loose definition of the word than I am one hell of a connoisomething because I eat a lot, I drink a lot, I watch a lot of TV and I like to nap a lot. Does that make me a connoisseur of these things or just someone who does them more than I should?

But that aside, sake – or 日本酒, which means “Japanese liquor” – happens to be one of my favorite drinks. It’s a delicious, highly alcoholic beverage made from rice, born more than 1,000 years ago in Japan.

Though Americans might call sake “rice wine,” sake differs from wine – fermented out of the high sugar content in fruit – because the alcohol is made from starch.

The true birth of sake is a mystery. The first sign of this magical Japanese elixer is in the Book of Wei, a third century Chinese text that speaks of the Japanese drinking and dancing – makes one wonder where the inspiration for the movie Footloose came from …?

The real McCoy, actual sake, is made from rice, water, yeast and mold. At certain times in history, sake was used for religious ceremonies, political festivals and drinking games.

And that, sweet children, is where the game of quarters got its beginning.

Of particular interest to me, because my grampy Paul James Stewart fought in World War II (and was later briefly a pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals), rice shortages became a problem at that time and with it, the sake-brewing industry was dealt a hefty blow because the government restricted the usage of rice for sake. After the war ended, sake makers slowly began to get their groove back, but by this time, beer, wine and spirits were the new kids on the block in Japan and in the 1960s the public consumed more beer than sake for the first time in history. The beauty of this story is that while the consumption of sake continued to dwindle, the quality continued to improve.

To this day, sake is produced around the world and is a delicious and often times elegant beverage to enjoy with anything from sushi to roasted chicken. So, you lions, you tigers and you bears, sake to me one mo time. ] Ashley can be reached by email at ashtrego@gmail.com.

LGBT BAR LISTINGS Denver Aqua Lounge • 1417 Krameria St. (720) 287.0584 • http://aqualoungedenver.com Covered patio, live entertainment, trivia, poker, karaoke, $2.50 happy hour M-F Barker Lounge • 475 Santa Fe Dr. (303) 778.0545 Patio, old Hollywood themed, neighborhood bar Black Crown Lounge • 1446 S. Broadway (720) 353.4701 • http://blackcrownlounge.com Patio, dartboards, game room, poker, piano lounge bLush • 1526 E. Colfax Ave. (303) 484.8548 • http:/blushbardenver.com Bar, coffee, lounge, pool Boyztown • 117 Broadway (303) 722.7373 • http://boyztowndenver.com Male strippers Broadways • 1027 Broadway (303) 623.0700 • http://broadwaysdenver.com Neighborhood sports bar, weekend beer busts, BINGO, trivia, outdoor patio

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Charlie’s • 900 E Colfax Ave. (303) 839.8890 • http://charliesdenver.com Western and pop dance club, weekend beer busts, live music

Hamburger Mary’s • 700 E 17th Ave. (303) 832.1333 • http://hamburgermarys.com/denver Great food, big patio, weekend brunch, big screen TV’s, mixed crowd

Club M • 700 E 17th Ave. (303) 832.1333 • http://hamburgermarys.com/denver Karaoke, BINGO, trivia, drag, live DJ bar

Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret • 1601 Arapahoe St. (303) 293.0075 • http://lannies.com Burlesque, comedy shows, appetizers, desserts

Compound • 145 N Broadway (303) 722.7977 • http://compounddenver.com Neighborhood dance bar with edge, weekend beer bust

Tracks • 3500 Walnut St. (303) 863.7326 • http://tracksdenver.com LGBT dance club, BAD first Fridays, DJ, live performers

Decatur St. Grill • 800 Decatur St. (303) 825.4521 • http://decaturbar.wordpress.com Pool table, poker, smoking patio, women

The Bar • 554 S. Broadway Ave. (303) 733.0122 • http://itsthebar.com Burlesque, bingo, dance parties and comedy

Denver Eagle • 3600 Blake St. (303) 291.0250 • http://theeaglebar.com Leather, fetish, darts, heavy pours

Wrangler • 1700 Logan St. (303) 837.1075 • http://denverwrangler.com Men’s bar, patio, leather Fridays, pool tables, beer bust, darts, “Sweet Dance”

Eden • 3090 Downing St. (303) 832-5482 • http://edendenver.com Women’s lounge, patio, healthy bar food, vegetarian, NOW networking group El Potrero • 320 S Birch St. (303) 388.8889 • http://elpotrerodenver.com Mexican restaurant, patio, club, live shows

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

X Bar • 629 E Colfax Ave. (303) 832.2687 • http://xbardenver.com LGBT bar, karaoke, Drag Queen brunch, BINGO, DJ, beer bust, patio, food

Fort Collins

Choice City Shots • 124 LaPorte St. (970) 221.4333 • http://choicecityshots.com Mixed crowd, karaoke, poker, DJ, dancin’

Pueblo

Pirate’s Cove • 105 Central Plaza (719) 543.2683 • http://myspace.com/ piratescove1, Local bar, mixed crowd

CO. Springs

Bubbles Nightclub • 1010 E Fillmore Ave. (719) 473.0177 • http://bubblescos.com LGBT nightclub, DRAG WORLD, karaoke, poker, big screen TVs Club Q • 3430 N Academy Blvd.

(719) 570.1429 • http://clubqonline.com 18 and up, Military appreciation night, drag show, pool, darts, beer pong, ladies night The Underground • 110 N Nevada Ave. (719) 578.7771 http://underground bars.com, Pub style, BINGO, poker, karaoke, food, beer bust

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LOCAL EVENTS

Rebooting

the weekend: Tracks launches Ascension Saturdays Beginning Saturday, Oct. 6, the legendary LGBT nightclub Tracks, home to Drag Nation, Babes Around Denver’s First Fridays and more, will revamp its Saturday entertainment and overall vibe.

Managers and resident DJs are looking to recreate Saturday nights with guest appearances from national DJs like Joe Gauthreaux, Rosabel, Danny Verde, Escape, Ryan Reyes and Ranny, throughout the coming year.

Resident DJs Flowers, Epic, Sean OGrady, Jeffrey Sanker Presents and Steve Machuca Presents will continue their legacy to create a hopping dance floor and high-energy environment all the way through the night to last call. And of course, a new DJ booth and upgraded light show will create a more up-to-date and edgy nightclub experience.

“Overall, we wanted raise the bar again with an even better combination of nationally featured DJs, amazing sound and lights, and over-the-top decor and special events. We want to be more consistent [with the level of standards],” said resident DJ Sean OGrady.

Another added element is the decision to add more themed nights and special events like last year’s parties which included the Gold Party, Willy Wonka Party and Homecoming Night. Plus, OGrady told Out Front that plans include more drink specials, including fun happy hours, free drinks for the first hour, steals on Absolut and the ‘Buy one, get one’ drink lotto, as well as promotions, which will include a VIP loyalty program for guests. ]

Joe Gauthreaux

Rosabel

Danny Verde

CHECK OUT >>> The debut of the Absolut Retro Lounge with DJs Markie and Blaque Gurl. Date: Oct. 6 after Out Front’s Power Party!

More info at http://facebook.com/ascensionsaturdays

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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DISTRIBUTION

Out Front centrally located distribution spots Aqua Lounge – 1417 Krameria St. Barker Lounge – 475 Santa Fe Dr. Barracuda’s Mexican Restaurant 1076 Ogden St. Benny’s Mexican Restaurant 7th and Grant bLush Coffee, Bar & Lounge 1526 E. Colfax Ave. Boyztown – 117 Broadway Broadway’s Bar – 1027 Broadway Capitol Heights Pharmacy 1200 Madison Capitol Hill Community Center 1290 Williams St. Capitol Hill Liquor – 9th and Corona Center for Spiritual Living 1420 Ogden St. Charlie’s – 900 E. Colfax Ave. Crystal’s Book Store 2750 S. Parker Rd. Colorado Anti-Violence Program 304 Elati St.

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Hamburger Mary’s – 708 E. 17th Ave.

Pete’s Kitchen – 1962 E. Colfax Ave.

Heaven Sent Me – 116 S. Broadway

Racine’s Restaurant – 6th and Grant

Corona Laundry – 847 Corona St.

Independent Records 937 E. Colfax Ave.

R&R Bar & Lounge 4958 E. Colfax Ave.

Crypt – 131 Broadway

Jelly Café – 600 E. 13th Ave.

Secrets – 2280 S. Quebec St.

Dazbog Coffee – 9th and Downing

Joy Wine – 1302 E. 6th Ave.

Sexy Pizza – 1018 E. 11th Ave.

Dazbog Coffee – 1200 Clayton St.

King Soopers – 9th and Downing St.

Denver ELEMENT 655 Broadway #425

Kitty’s – 735 E. Colfax Ave.

Soul Haus Boutique 1225 E. 17th Ave.

Colorado Pharmacy 1245 E. Colfax Ave. Compound – 145 Broadway

Denver FilmCenter 2510 E. Colfax Ave. Denver Swim Club 6923 E. Colfax Ave. Earl’s Sandwich Parlor – 1431 Ogden St. Fascinations 2680 S. Havana St., suite G Floyd’s Barber Shop 11th and Broadway

Las Margaritas – 17th and Downing Le Bakery Sensual – 300 E. 6th Ave. Le Central Restaurant – 12 E. 8th Ave. Lime Express – 730 E. 6th Ave. Little Dragon Chinese 1305 Krameria St. Lowry Liquors – 200 Quebec St. Matrix Fitness & Spa – 925 Lincoln St.

Gidgets Groom – 1083 South Pearl St.

Metropolitan Community Church 10th and Clarkson St.

Golden Triangle Wine 1147 Broadway

Nature’s Cure III – 1500 E. Colfax Ave.

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

Our Savior Lutheran Church 9th and Emerson St.

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Studio Lites – 333 Broadway Tattered Cover Bookstore 2526 E. Colfax Ave. The Bar – 554 S. Broadway The Center – 1301 E. Colfax Ave. Timothy D’s Salon 5500 E. Yale Ave. #400 Tony’s Market – 950 Broadway Videotique – 1205 E. 9th Ave. Village Antiques – 827 Corona St. Waterworks Car Wash 276 Broadway

Summerfest: Dance forEagle change at Aqua Lounge Casting Couch at The

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

39

ASK A SLUT

ask a slut ●

Find a and beans Franks Sassy Squatch

and plenty of special sauce BIGGER TOY Dear Cycle Sluts,

Winnie Bego

Zoey Diddim

Diane Tolickya

Molotovia Cocktail

Rolonda Flor

Juana Mann

Bea Dazzle

Eden Cox

Freeda Fondle

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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going to be. So anything else is fine

Dear Denver as long as you pack the butter flaI am thinking aboutCycle trying Sluts, vored Crisco and energy drinks. drag but I don't know where I’m very loud when I have sex with my Sassy: I don't think it really matters to begin. What do you suggest what food how you take.

FromI the as the starting point? girlfriend, and I like to tell her much sounds of it whatever you take is Signed, "Wigs, Dresses and love The problem isgoing she never to end up withmakes pubic hair in it!

Shoes, her.

Oh My!" Winnie: I'll have the big Italian a sound or says a word.

After we’re done, Zoey Diddim: Take lessons. Watch sausage and two meatballs!

Eden: Stick with oysters and green the classic movies likeover Some Like it goes she just rolls and to sleep.

It’s Hot, Tootsie, Pricilla Queen of the M&M's. This way those boys stay like a guy if I wanted one of nice and horny all weekend.

Desert she’s and Mame.

Follow and the sideDiane: Cucumbers, squash and for kicks/bitchy parts then emulate that. those, I’d be straight! I enjoy the sex we Juana Mann: Start with heels. If the brave or cocky boys, bring along a watermelon.

Oh she wait, were you you can't but work ashe good never heel you are have, tells me what doomed to failure. Nothing worse talking about food to eat? thinks it. How can I findFranks out?and beans, and Rolonda: than hearingabout “Queen Down!” plenty of special sauce.

Winnie Bego: Come to Slut bingo Signed, “Girls just wanna have fun...”

Freeda: I heard orgy where and

and see how the real ones do it.

Diane Tolickya: Find a sugar when? daddy and break the bank, honey! Bea: I guess I don't understand how two go together.

It's way too expensive look this the Zoey: She couldtobe bored.

Maybe your If there is an orgy I am sure no one needs food, damn cheap. strap-on is too small? Get to the Crypt where Molotovia Cocktail: I find that a just plenty of water, and a touch of Diane canhelps. help youshop find bigger toy. favorite store I only at aspermicide. the best. Le Mart du K, Jacques Pen Cycle nay, and myMaybe all time favorite is Le Freeda: you’re not Dear doing it Sluts, right. Oh, I Why are straight people so Bon Will. just threw up a bit!

Bea Dazzle: Well, speaking for intrigued by drag queens and myself, I started on my back, and drag shows?

Signed, "Straight-Curious" then moved up to my have gay Winnie: She is knees. suchI the man trapped in had many satisfied customers in my the body of a woman.

Good luck!

Juana: Hello! Have you seen us? pumps.

Rolonda Flor: Big titties and big Zoey: It makes them feel safe in suburban world hair are theHoney, ultimate accessories.

Diane: I’m not thattheir familiar withknowing Bea- there Eden Cox: My suggestion is to go are other freaks out there to draw the vertown.

Why don’t you get her a six-pack of dumpster diving honey. That's attention off religious, judgmental, beer and duct tape?bigoted groups. Who brought in my where you cansome find the best jewelry!

Freeda Fondle: You can start by soap box?

Freeda: Bitch, because we are taking me shopping.

Rolonda: Ask your best friend for some Sassy Squatch: Maybe start at fabulous! pointers.

She’s probably the one that’s satisfyWinnie: Cause my legs look better Charlie's? in a dress! ing your girlfriend since you can’t! She’ll know Diane: It's because we're so f*cking Dear Cyclewhat Sluts, she likes. exactly shiny!

Some friends and I are planRolonda: Because we're easy. ning a camping trip where we Molotovia: women can hang Molotovia: Sounds case The of Lesbian will be really roughing it. Ilike am a bad with us without fear of getting in charge of the Get food a forstrap-on the Bed Death. stat! weekend. I'm sure an orgy is in groped and the men hang with us in hope that they get groped. the works for that weekend so Bea: Well, I know never make any Bea: Well, Doll,noise first of all the difwhat do you suggest forIthe ference between str8's and gays menu? the sex is bad either. when is a six-pack. Gays have them, Signed, "Chef Boys-are-whee" and str8s drink them for an alibi!

Eden: Bemenu lucky, I have to use a Well, ballI think gagthefor all come Eden: women Zoey: The I suggest is the to get fromlearn the best. number for I’ve roombeen service.

My Just the men with. bebeauty quiettipsand idea of "roughing it" is walking And the men are there because they to take orders already! down the hall to get my own ice. are secretly fantasizing about getting to wear our dresses.

I AM a Diva after all.

Sassy: Becauseonly we're one so glamMolotovia: on like the this, Sassy: In aDepending situation there’s orgy menu the food menu should orous and entertaining. Also we can suggestion… U-Haul! It’s cheaper than couples NOT include asparagus (PEE- rock a dress and heels better than ] ● therapy, and I’m sure it’s in your speed Just sayin! you if you pee on them). And NO most real women do! dial.

Mexican, refried are a no go if On the Web at http://denver they are re-RUNS. Online at http://denvercyclesluts.net.

Keep quesJuana: Sounds like you know what cyclesluts.net. Keep questions tions coming to askaslut@gmail.com. your main course for the weekend is coming to AskASlut@gmail.com.

www.OutFrontCol

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

41

SPORTS

Major League Soccer boots Boy Scouts for gay rights

By Dan Woog After a two-year, super-secret study by an anonymous committee, the Boy Scouts of America announced in July that their next hike would take them back to the 1950s.

The Scouts appeared to violate their own law mandating courtesy and kindness by continuing to ban gays at every level of scouting, from the youngest Tenderfoot on.

The part America that isn’t stuck in the 1950s responded with outrage. Editorial boards tsk-tsked.

Eagle Scouts returned their badges.

Major League Soccer spoke up.

League president Mark Abbott announced within days that the league would not renew its cross-promotional partnership agreement with the scouts, citing “business reasons” for the abrupt end of the alliance but leaving the connection clear. This was not the first time the soccer league acted so decisively.

In March, officials suspended Dynamo’s Colin Clark for three games and fined him an undisclosed amount for screaming “faggot” at a ball boy. Six weeks earlier, the Vancouver Whitecaps gave Lee Nguyen a warning for tweeting the word “fag.”

Soccer seems to be a sports world leader. The MLS team Chicago Fire hooked up with Equality Illinois when representatives marched during Chicago Pride. Players

42

Gonzalo Segares and Jay Nolly showed up at an Equality networking cocktail party.

Chivas USA, meanwhile, sponsored an “Equality Night,” preceded by a pre-game reception with the NOH8 campaign. The Los Angeles Gay Men’s Chorus sang the national anthem. The It Gets Better Project staffed a booth at Home Depot Center’s main concourse. And cheerleaders performed a routine to Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” On their own, soccer fans have started a private effort to get professional soccer players to publicly affirm their support for gay rights. The drive is taking place at the website www. gay4soccer.com. (The tagline – riffing on a long-ago denigration of soccer – is “because soccer isn’t gay, but once in awhile it kinda is.”)

The online petition, signed by players (including national team members Carlos Bocanegra and Jay DeMerit, broadcaster Kyle Martino, Sports Illustrated writer Grant Wahl, and entire team fan clubs), says that “sports are about fairness and equality, respect and dignity. Sports teach individuals how to strive and succeed, how to cope with success and disappointment, and to bring people together to achieve a common goal.” Take that, Boy Scouts of America!

Petition signers promise to reach out to LGBT people, to challenge unacceptable behavior, and make soccer “a welcome, inviting and inclusive place for everyone.”

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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It already seems to be. Late last year, David Testo quietly came out. He’d been in the closet as a player with the MLS Columbus Crew – and before that, when he helped the University of North Carolina win the NCAA Division I championship – but after moving to the Montreal Impact in the second division, most teammates knew. (Montreal moved up to MLS this year.) Testo said he felt comfortable with teammates and coaches, and they with him. That’s exactly the kind of low-key coming out story the sports world is ready for (and, unfortunately, the Boy Scouts can’t understand).

Soccer is a game that celebrates independent thinking.

Unlike most other sports, where coaches call timeouts and diagram plays – particularly football, where every block and pass pattern must be executed to perfection – soccer players constantly figure out problems on their own. They don’t need to be told what to do; they know the right thing to do, and they do it.

In addition, soccer is an international game. Players are used to teammates from different nationalities, with different accents, doing little things differently. Sexuality is just one more difference to appreciate.

The Boy Scout oath includes the words “physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight.” But it’s Major League Soccer and millions of soccer fans that truly walk that talk. ] Dan Woog is a journalist, educator, soccer coach, gay activist, and author. Online at http://danwoog.com.

ON THE SCENE WITH CHARLES

Gay Bowl 2012 Photos by Charles Broshous

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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TRAVEL Hiking through an ice cave at Juneau’s Mendenhall Glacier. Photo by Andrew Collins

Glaciers and craft beer ...

Essentials for

an Alaskan Adventure

By Andrew Collins I spent 15 days touring Alaska with a friend earlier this summer, my second extended trip to the country’s largest state in the past three years. On this most recent adventure, I overnighted in eight different towns, from Juneau and Skagway in the southeast to Fairbanks in the east-central section of the state.

Here, in no particular order, are a few essential Alaska highlights.

Drink Alaska craft beer What Alaska lacks in gay nightlife, it more than makes up for in quirky, offbeat bars with diverse, generally gay-friendly followings. Some of the best of these hangouts are craft-beer pubs, of which Anchorage has the greatest number. A few blocks apart in the city’s downtown, Glacier Brew House and Humpy’s both serve first-rate beer and great food, and in Midtown, the Bear Tooth Theatrepub and Grill, and nearby Moose’s Tooth Pub & Pizzeria are popular with the gay community and serve outstanding food and distinctive beers.

Take the bus into Denali Visitors to Alaska’s iconic national park, Denali, are sometimes overwhelmed by the sheer immensity of this 6 million-acre wilderness crowned by North America’s highest peak, Mount McKinley (20,320 feet).

The park is ideally explored over the course of a few days, but even with one full day, it’s possible to cover a remarkable amount of ground.

Explore the Kenai Peninsula With relatively easy access to An-

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

chorage, a slew of engaging towns and attractions, and rugged, spectacular scenery that takes in everything from massive glaciers to icy fjords to dense forests, this peninsula – about half the size of South Carolina – is ideal for road-tripping. The top towns for visitors are the artsy and progressive fishing town of Homer (the farthest from Anchorage at 220 miles); scenic Seward, the gateway to Kenai Fjords National Park; and secluded Whittier, situated at the end of Passage Canal, which links to Prince William Sound.

Trek on a glacier Opportunities to view these glaciers abound from Juneau north into Denali National Park. One of the most amazing ways to experience one of these hulking masses of slowmoving ice is to hike directly onto one. In the historic gold-rush town of Skagway, at the northern end of the Inside Passage, Packer Expeditions (packerexpeditions.com) offers wilderness and snowshoe hikes onto Laughton Glacier. These full-day adventures involve riding the historic White Pass & Yukon Route Railway to a mountain trailhead, and then trekking about four miles through verdant woodland and then onto the glacier.

See Alaska from the air Alaska is home to more licensed airline pilots per capita than any other state. This is hardly surprising given the remote terrain, and many communities can’t be reached by road. Even commercial flights around the state can – depending on the weather – yield some tremendous views. A number of smaller

[ [ TRAVEL + SHOPPING ] ]

airlines offer regularly scheduled service through the Inside Passage, with the trips from Juneau up to Skagway or Haines, or down to Ketchikan especially magnificent.

Stay at an atmospheric inn Most of the state’s key communities have at least a few gayfriendly inns, which typically have distinctive settings and offer guests the chance to gain a better sense of what it’s actually like to live in Alaska. Anchorage has a number of terrific options, including the affordable Copper Whale Inn (copperwhale.com), which is within walking distance of downtown attractions. Also centrally located are such gay-owned options as the Wildflower Inn and the City Garden B&B. A Great LGBT Resource Finally, if you’re looking for an excellent, gay-friendly resource to help plan or even guide you on your trip to the Last Frontier, get in touch with GLBT-owned Out in Alaska (outinalaska.com), which offers an impressive variety of relatively intimate (usually four to eight people) trips throughout the state, from multi-day cruises and overland adventures to quick day trips around Anchorage, where the company is based. These tours range from rafting and camping adventures in the wilderness to hotel-based trips, and Out in Alaska can also customize guided trips or help you plan your own independent tour. ] Andrew Collins is the author of Fodor’s Gay Guide to the USA.

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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QRAVE

A local destination with class Capitol Hill Mansion 1207 Pennsylvania St. http://capitolhill mansion.com

Get 10% discount on room rates!

PRESENT YOUR OFC VIP CARD!

By Lauren Archuletta An official Denver landmark, the Capitol Hill Mansion Bed and Breakfast Inn is becoming a popular staycation spot for Denver residents.

Since its recent restoration from the Keating Mansion to the Capitol Hill Mansion, the B&B features more than the average overnight package. Owner and proprietor Carl S. Schmidt II offers his guests eight guestrooms and three two-room suites. On top of the distinctive rooms, Schmidt has also come up with a variety of different packages for his guests.

Some of the B&B’s popular packages include

the Yves Saint Laurent “Retrospective” Package; “Honey, I am sorry”; and perhaps most significant, the Wedding, Anniversary and Civil Union Reception package.

The Capitol Hill Mansion has become a popular destination for gay and lesbian travel, according to Bed and breakfast.com.

“I get a mixed crowd of people,” Schmidt said. “It’s not just a gay bed and breakfast, but people do find me on Purple Roofs.”

Schmidt said that the Colorado Gay and Lesbian Chamber is among the list of nonprofit organizations he allows to use the mansion for meetings

free of charge.

As a member of Out Front’s QRAVE program, Schmidt is offering exclusive deals to his guests that mention their VIP card.

“I’ll give a 10 percent discount off the room rates,” Schmidt said.

On top of the room discount, Schmidt is prepared to offer another special deal.

“I’ll also offer a bottle of champagne for two upon arrival,” Schmidt said.

With Schmidt’s proposed QRAVE offers, he hopes couples can stop by the Capitol Hill Mansion for a nice little getaway. ]

REVOLUTION

THE

Love your VIP Card? Then you’ll be craving QRAVE. Coming soon from Out Front: A new way to experience all the wonders of the Mile High City. QRAVE and your QRAVE Card will be your pass to amazing deals from local businesses, restaurants and service providers. Discounts, deals and promotions are just the tip of the iceberg. We’ll have daily offers, year-long exclusive discounts and giveaways. Get ready to start Qraving.

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[ [ TRAVEL + SHOPPING ] ]

QRAVE

Old country taste with modern charm

Shells and Sauce

By Lauren Archuletta Craving a piece of Little Italy? Venture on over to Congress Park, where Shells and Sauce is ready to dish out a “taste of the old country.”

This home-style restaurant’s menu has something for everybody, from baked ravioli for the kids and a wide variety of drinks for the adults.

And there’s no way to beat the prices – everything on the children’s menu is under $10, while domestic beers are only $2.25 during happy hour.

Shells and Sauce is a warm environment for its customers. With a rooftop patio and an open kitchen for guests who choose to dine inside, the restaurant as a whole is a place where their customers can feel safe. And no matter where their customers are seated, the Shells and Sauce staff is constantly friendly and on the lookout for a way they can be of further service.

Although Shells and Sauce is only open Tuesday

BUSINESS OWNERS: Out Front’s QRAVE program offers exclusive discounts at participating locations across the state.

You choose the discount you want to offer to your QRAVE customers – then sit back and watch the people line up at your business! The QRAVE membership is free to Out Front readers who regularly check the QRAVE web page and printed participating business list to determine where to spend their hard-earned dollars.

through Sunday, they cater to their customers 24/7. The restaurant uses various social media tools, including Facebook, Twitter and their own personal blog, to keep in touch with their customers. Customers can log onto the Shells and Sauce Facebook page to learn about the restaurant’s promotions.

In the month of September, Shells and Sauce has been sponsoring Cindy Lauper’s “True Colors” Fund in the “Cocktails Without Prejudice” campaign. For every Van Gough cocktail purchased, the restaurant donated $1 to the fund for LGBT equality.

As a participating establishment of Out Front’s QRAVE program, readers are encouraged to stop

by Shells and Sauce for an authentic and genuine Italian dining experience. ] Shells and Sauce is located at 2600 E. 12th Ave. Online at http://italianrestaurantdenver.com

Get Your Business Involved In The Qrave Craze!

Email advertising@outfrontonline.com or call (303) 477.4000 ext. 702 for details!

TO GET YOUR QRAVE CARD …

Email promotions@outfrontonline.com [ [ TRAVEL + SHOPPING ] ]

Businesses

– Annie’s Cafe – Apollo Studio – Black Crown Lounge – bLush coffee, bar & lounge – Bonnie Brae Tavern – Buenos Aires Pizzeria – Capitol Hill B&B – Cherry Creek Optical – Complete Nutrition – Denver Boulder Colorado Reality – Denver City Rolfing – Denver Film Center – Emerald City Eyebrows – Gigi’s Cupcakes – Great Scott’s Eatery – Hamburger Mary’s – Hapa Sushi – 5280 Chiropractic – ITS Massage – Keos Marketing – LePeep Grill City Park – Martini’s Bistro – Planet Laboratories – Rejuv Skin Spa – Skoops Ice Cream – SkyVenture Colorado – Shells and Sauce – Solera Restaurant – 2Wice as Nice

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

47

For information on placing a Marketplace ad, call 303-477-4000 [ BUSINESS ]

[ CHURCHES ]

FUN, ENTERTAINMENT RELATED RETAIL BUSINESS

FOR SALE

ANNUAL REVENUES $1.1 MILLION CASH FLOW $193.5K MINIMUM REQUIRED INVESTMENT $250K CALL RON 303-758-4600 AT BA LIMITED

[ CHAPLAIN SERVICES ]

IMAGO DEI Blessings Our Pets on October 6th

1-3pm Saturday afternoon Stapleton Central Park at Martin Luther King and Xenia (north of the playground) • Pets must be leashed, kenneled or caged • Photo opportunity for you and your pet • Accepting pet food donations

For more information 303-394-3034 • www.imagodei-ecc.org [ CHIROPRACTIC ]

Heal, Restore, Improve, Correct, Relieve, Align

48

[ COSMETIC ]

[ COUNSELING ]

Be fresher, younger looking today!

Rediscover the freedom to be yourself

Call today and schedule your Botox Cosmetic, Juvaderm and spider vein removal (sclerotherapy).

The United Church of Christ, Whoever you are and wherever you are on life’s journey, you are welcome here.

Jeremy Savage, MA, NCC National Certified Counselor

AFFORDABLE PRICING www.cpcci.net 303-343-9500

[ COUNSELING ]

720-458-3150

jeremy@getcomplete.org 815 E. 17th Ave. (17th & Clarkson)

[ DENTIST ]

JAMEY COLLINS, LCSW PSYCHOTHERAPY Specializing in Gay/Lesbian, Stress/Coping, Anxiety, Depression, Couples, Dating, Spiritual Growth, Grief and Loss, Self-Esteem, Transitions, Aging, HIV

Offices in Denver and Boulder

To locate a church near you, go to: www.ucc.org/find/

Positive and Practical counseling for the LGBT community

303-641-6410

jameycollinstherapy.com

Dr. Albert Cardoso, DDS General & Cosmetic Dentistry Veneers Teeth Whitening

The right balance of understanding, guidance, and support

303-991-HILL (4455) • 3955 E. Exposition St. Denver CO., 80209 • caphilldental.com

[ COSMETIC ]

[ COUNSELING ]

[ DENTIST ]

Wrinkle Reduction: 10% OFF for Out Front Readers

Michael Holtby,

General & Cosmetic Dentistry

• Medical Esthetician Inside Doctor’s Office.

• Medical Grade Laser Will Be Used.

ROBYN PRAZMARK, LME Skyridge Medical Center Aspen Building, Suite G23 Lone Tree CO., 80124 303-225-0025 RobynME.com

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

LCSW, BCD

PSYCHOTHERAPY www.denverpsychotherapy.com

Serving Denver’s Gay Community since 1977

303 722 1021

Preventative Care • Smile Reconstruction • Tooth Colored Fillings • Teeth Whitening

TERRY L. BREWICK, D.D.S. 700 East Ninth Ave. at Washington St. Denver CO., 80203 303-832-7789 govparkdental.com

Accepting New Patients

[ DENTIST ]

[ FITNESS AND SPA ]

[ INSURANCE ]

[ MASSAGE ]

HUMAN TOUCH MASSAGE

JERRY SHIVERS, CMT

1905 Sherman St., Suite 810 Denver, CO., 80203

720-837-5510

jershivers@yahoo.com

[ EMPLOYMENT FOR REAL ESTATE BROKERS ]

?

BEINSPIRED HAVE YOU LOST INSPIRATION WITH YOUR JOB

ARE YOU INTELLIGENT, INTUITIVE AND INNOVATIVE

Join our team

Competitive compensation Cutting-edge technology Robust continuing education

[ INSURANCE ]

[ MASSAGE ]

Norm Belson Agency 303-777-4690 x101

INDIVIDUALIZED MASSAGE Michael Conti, BSPsy, LMT

[ HOME SERVICES ]

ATTENTION

HOME OWNERS:

AUTO • HOME • LIFE • COMMERCIAL

If you have plumbing problems ...

DON’T PANIC! ... Our ‘Warehouse on Wheels’ is stocked with hundreds of parts to save you time and money!

Package Discounts Available 400 S. Colo. Blvd. #220 Denver, CO 80246

nbelson@farmersagent.com

M-F: 7 to 7 • S-S: 8 to 4 5280Plunger.com 303-758-6437

BARTENDERS WANTED Day and night shifts available. Apply in person at R&R Lounge.

4958 E. Colfax Ave., or email denverdik1@aol.com

[ INSURANCE ]

[ INSURANCE ]

[ MASSAGE ]

Save Money On Your Insurance

Rick Garcia, CMT

• Auto • Life • Fire Truck • Commercial Monthly Payments

Specializing in Swedish, Deep Tissue, NMT and Trigger Point Therapy

Debbie Brundage 303-427-0355 dbrundage@ farmersagent.com

Located in Capitol Hill 720-838-6881

[ EMPLOYMENT ]

[ LEGAL ]

STOP Collection Calls STOP Garnishments STOP Wage Assignments

The DSC is looking for clean-cut, self-motivating workers. Medical and retirement available. Apply in person.

Monday through Friday. $8 per hour. F/T. 6923 East Colfax

$60/hour $75/90 minutes 13th and Marion 303-832-1499

www.reinspired.co/ 303-225-9795 ext 701 or 702

[ EMPLOYMENT ]

An integrative approach to wellness

“We are a debt relief agency. We help people file for bankruptcy relief under the bankruptcy code.”

TRAVIS ALAN OCHS Bankruptcy Attorney Flat fee for most cases Free consultation

303-830-1300

• Criminal Defense • Estate Planning • Real Estate Over 10 years of experience

[ MASSAGE ]

Experience the Unique Artistry of

CELTIC TOUCH Blending Extraordinary Body Therapies with Pure Relaxation (outdoor massages)

BASIL CARPENTER, CMT Mon-Fri: 10am - 5pm $60/hour 303-885-6382 (no blocked calls) keltic0409@gmail.com

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

49

[ MASSAGE ]

KRAIGER

[ REAL ESTATE ]

www.kraigerworks.com

303-477-9511 [ MASSAGE ]

35

[ REAL ESTATE ]

$

Want to have a really nice massage for

FULL Body, FULL Hour Sensually Pleasing Massage.

Given by Experienced, Mature Therapist. MEN of ALL Ages, Shape, Sizes, Colors. NEW Wide Double Padded Table. COOL Clean and Comfortable Surroundings.

Bobby 303-831-8266

[ MOVING SERVICES ]

Household, Apartment, Office and Fine Arts Moving – IMMACULATE and SECURED Storage.

Denver’s most reliable moving and storage company serving the LGBT community for over 16 years. Selected “Best of Denver” four times by Westword.

COPUC Mover

Clean, Renovated and Friendly!

Managed by Lloyd’s Apartments L.P.

[ REAL ESTATE ]

PIED A TERRE IN THE CITY! A studio condo in the Daniel Lebeskind designed Museum Residences. Enjoy all the coveniences and ammenities of living in the heart of Denver. Walk to work, museums, restaurants, theater and sporting events.

Or, perfect as a second home for those who live further out or in the mountains who want to enjoy city life without the hassle of driving home after a night on the town.

Priced at $298,000

Reg #HHG-00038 745 Lipan St., Denver CO., 80204

For an appointment call: Lois Bradbury RE/MAX Professionals 303-268-4207 • www.bradburyclassic.com

[ PET SERVICES ]

[ OCCASIONS ]

303-893-8200

[ RETAIL ]

[ SERVICES ]

Residential & Commercial Cleaning TRAVELIN’ CHIMP ANIMAL CARE

We work hard ... so you don’t have to

... the answer to all your animal needs

www.travelinchimp.com 303-915-7470 • travelinchimp@gmail.com Need a vacation or a weekend getaway?

Let us take care of your pet and prevent separation anxiety.

In-Home Overnights • Walks/Exercise Pet Visits • Administration of Meds

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

RESIDENTIAL: 1 time only/Monthly bi-weekly/ weekly. Rates start at $75 or $25 per hour COMMERCIAL: By hr $10 or sqf .30c. Move ins/outs Oscar’s Premium Clean, LLC

720-276-6013

We’ve lost count of the number of ads that’ve been ripped out of our publication, but who’s complaining?

For more information on the Marketplace, call 303-477-4000

$45 per session 7 days a week 10:30am - 7:00pm

CHEESMAN PARK TERRACE 1402 RACE STREET 1 bedroom units from $750, Dishwasher, fireplace, newly renovated.

303-668-5014 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• PARK GROVE 1280 LAFAYETTE STREET Large 1 bedroom units, $750-$950 Large 2 bedroom units, $1,000-$1,400 Balconies, dishwashers, parking garage, indoor pool, sauna, exercise room, and views!

303-830-1344 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• CHEESMAN PARK 1360 WILLIAMS STREET 1 bedroom units from $645 to $775.

Rooftop deck, fireplaces, dishwashers.

303-830-1344 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• WASHINGTON PARK 960 S. LOGAN STREET 1 bedroom units from $615-$725 2 bedroom units from $775 720-205-0990 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• WASHINGTON PARK 10 S. PENNSYLVANIA ST. 1 bedroom units from $645 to $775.

Rooftop deck, fireplaces, dishwashers.

720-205-0990 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• GOVERNOR’S PARK 899 WASHINGTON ST. 1 bedroom units from $645-$675/mo.

Fireplaces, rooftop deck, dishwashers, fabulous remodel!

303-668-5014

“MARKETPLACE ADS ARE A RIP-OFF”

Full Body Therapeutic Massage with Strong & Sensitive Touch

[ RENTAL ]

FASHION

Rock your world

By Misty Milioto

We all know you’ve got the moves like Jagger, but just how rockin’ is your wardrobe?

Whether you take it to literal extremes – or you simply want to turn up your style volume – we’ve got the do’s and don’ts to help make it happen.

TAKE TWO Leather Jackets: While James Dean and Billy Idol pulled off the leather-jacket look with great aplomb, these jackets are a bit passé for an updated rocker look.

Crossed Out: Avoid those T-shirts with graphic crosses all over them— unless you want to look cliché and like you’re trying too hard, that is.

Skulls & Cross Bone Jewelry: Again, you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard. Keep things simple and underdone.

Colored Hair: Remember you want to look like a rock star, not a hipster.

So, pink or purple hair is definitely out.

Smoke Signals: Smoking hasn’t been cool since the Marlboro Man rode off into the sunset. So, skip the Parliaments as an unhealthy and stinky accessory.

WALK THIS WAY Skinny Jeans: Old Navy currently has a line for gals called The Rockstar Pop-Color Jeans. Grab pairs in colors like mint green, lavender, hot pink, red and turquoise, and you’ll be stylin’ in no time.

Back In Black: Whether you’re decked out in black from head-to-toe, or you pair it with something more colorful (like those skinny jeans), this is one staple wardrobe color that’ll never be out of style.

Classically Cool: Rev up the classic rocker uniform of a solid T-shirt and jeans by pulling a V-neck sweater over that scoop-neck tee, cuffing your jeans and pairing the look with a great pair of shoes.

A Vested Interest: An even better way to play up the rocker uniform?

Pair your dark jeans with a tailored vest for a sophisticated-yet-hip look.

Pull the Shades: Yep, oversized sunglasses and aviators aren’t going anywhere soon. It’s a good thing too, because they help maintain that air of “I’m famous, but I’m trying to be inconspicuous.”

[ [ TRAVEL + SHOPPING ] ]

BEST-DRESSED ROCKERS Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney of The Black Keys: They take the plaid shirt to another level of cool. (Okay, the music may have something to do with it.)

Jack White: The monochromatic look is always rockin’.

Chris Martin of Coldplay: Let’s face it: He can make anything look good.

Andre 3000 of Outkast: Rumor has it that this style maven is bringing back his Benjamin Bixby clothing line, this time to be known simply as Bixby.

Brandon Flowers of The Killers: His high-fashion sense is one to emulate. ]

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

51

FEATURE

By Josiah Hesse It’s a story we’re familiar with: A young boy and girl are placed before a box of toys, and they plow with a mindless vigor, selecting Barbies or G.I. Joes, tea sets or slingshots, plastic hammers or baby dolls that really pee.

Some parents assume their boys will naturally select the guns, hammers and soldiers, while the girls will be more drawn toward the kitchenware. This is not the case with all children; some girls want to be G.I. Joe, while some boys want to be Barbie.

There have been disastrous results when parents or doctors try to reverse that – most notably George Rekers’ government-funded “sissy boy” experiments at UCLA in the 1970s. Little do they know the practice has been going on for centuries in Native American communities that celebrate the fluidity of gender.

“Many Native American tribes, if they observed a boy playing with girls and learning feminine skills, they may have a ceremony to guide him in that direction,” said Alistair Bane, a Denver resident and descendent of the Shawnee Tribe.

The ritual is often known to the Great Basin Tribes as the “basket and the bow ceremony,” in which parents or community leaders would offer a young boy or girl of pubescent age the option of a bow or a basket, his or her selection determining the role they would play in the community.

If the girl chooses the bow, or the boy the basket, this person may be believed to have both a male and female spirit, known today as the pan tribal designation of Two Spirit. A biological female could dress as a man, take on a wife, and participate in the hunt or battle, while a biological male could dress as a woman and take on a husband.

“It’s not only a sexual identity, but a cultural role,” Bane explained.

“Every single person is born with something they’re going to contribute to their community, and what a Two Spirit person is going to contribute is going to be different.”

Born of both Irish Catholic and American Indian heritage, Bane’s own experiences give light to cultural variances. “There was nowhere to go,” Bane described discovering his sexuality at a young age, yet having no acceptance in the Church. “You face the two worst rejections you could face: rejection from your parents and being told the being who created you rejected you.”

While Catholicism was a tradition of Bane’s mother, Bane’s father was a descendent of the Shawnee tribes, who originated in the eastern United States and were some of the first Natives in contact with European settlers. “About two-thirds of our people were wiped out

52

Many peoples, two spirits

A Zuni Native American from 1849 to 1896. We’wha was the most famous mixed gender person of her time, meeting with President Grover Cleveland and the subject of the book The Zuni Man-Woman. Known as Lhamana in the Zuni tradition, We’wha’s role was a mix of women’s work (pottery, weaving), men’s work (hunting, heavy lifting) as well as that of a third gender person, such as mediation between tribes. by the late 1700s. In 1905 there were only 68 people left. We experienced nothing short of genocide.”

In addition to murder, torture and displacement, the Shawnee and most other Native American peoples were subject to government assimilation efforts forbidding them from practicing their traditional spiritual rites and ceremonies, with many of these laws remaining on the books through the late 20th century.

Top of the list were sexual and gender practices that were considered immoral to white settlers. “The missionaries and the U.S. government came and heavily persecuted Two Spirit people,” Bane explained. “They wanted Two Spirit

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

people who dressed like men to dress like women. And so if someone you love is persecuted for being who they are, you begin to be secretive about who they are.”

Like many LGBT young people today, many Two Spirited people had to express their true natures in secret, for fear of violent persecution toward themselves and their partners.

Yet while there are parallels in the persecution of both Two Spirited and LGBT persons by religious zealots, it is important to note distinctions between the two.

“In European traditions, you can think of it as a stick with male on one end and female on the other; sexuality is the same

[ [ LIVING ] ]

stick but with different ends,” explains Terry Fafoya in the documentary Two Spirit People. “And that’s the trap they get caught in, the either/or: straight or gay, male or female. But if you take the two ends of that stick and make a circle – as Native American people are much more into circles than lines – then you end up with an infinite amount of points on that circle. And people change during different times in their lives, and you’re not trapped into one way of thinking or being.”

The phrase “Two Spirit” itself has almost no historical context. It was developed in the 1980s as a replacement for the academic term “berdache,” which by then was seen as offensive as it originated from French colonists as a term for a slave who was kept for sexual purposes. The role of Two Spirit has been documented in more than 130 Native tribes spanning across North America, with varying terms and cultural roles being associated with it. And while it consistently deals with the issues of gender, the duality of Two Spirited people was also, among many tribes, a duality of the physical and spiritual realms, or human and animal realms.

“The labels that western culture use – gay, lesbian, bi, transgender – none of those exactly describe our understanding of gender and sexual orientation,” Bain said. He went on to explain that if a man had sex with a Two Spirit person of male biology, it wouldn’t make him gay, nor would it make him Two Spirit.

(Interestingly, in some cases it was considered unnatural was for a pair of Two Spirited persons to partner up – viewed as a kind of incest.)

“For my friends who are gay or lesbian, or intersex or transgender, they see themselves very much just like everyone else,” Bane said. “In fact, they might be offended if you suggested they were different. For us, a lot of the words our tribes used, denoted that we were special as a person. The creator had made us different; for us, the word ‘different’ wasn’t a bad thing.”

After centuries of cultural genocide, homophobia had crept into many native tribes, with many young people, who would’ve once been recognized as Two Spirit, being banished.

“It can leave you with anger and confusion,” Bane said, “but you realize that if you learn about our traditional ways, hatred and anger toward other people isn’t something you can sustain.”

But Bane discovered the Two Spirit tradition of his and other tribes. During the gay rights movements of the 1970s, many native people were learning about being Two Spirited, finding a place for themselves not only in modern, sociological context, but in a historical and spiritual one, as well. ]

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

53

HIGH SOCIETY Continued from page 34

Veronica Sanchez, Kiyomi McCloskey and Laura Petracca Was acting something that you’ve always wanted to do or has this just made it easier to explore that?

It’s made it easier to explore that. It’s just like, I’ve been doing the band for a really long time. Like anybody else, I wanna learn. And I wanna learn new things, learn different forms of art and explore those artistic ways of expression. And acting is one of them. When an opportunity is presented to me, I love a challenge. And I’m going to take it on.

Does that mean with these new opportunities that the band takes a back seat?

No, the band is always the most important thing to me.

It’s not taking a backseat at all. It just makes me want to do as many different things as possible. That’s with the band, as well. I’m excited for the band to be able to visit new territories and new countries and really spread the word of the music. You know? I’m just excited for that.

What haven’t you done that you would like to do?

I want to get to as many different countries as possible with the music. And really, really make sure that people can hear it. That’s my major goal. I’m also starting a clothing line. That will be the extent of it. I’m not one of those reality stars that just starts up a million businesses just because they’re in the spotlight. For me, these are the things I’m passionate about – my interests. So, I’m going to try it out, and we’ll see what happens.

You’re kind of in a new relationship now, what kind of challenges do you find to your relationships traveling, being in the band, being on a reality show?

You know I’m in a relationship right now. In the past, it’s been a challenge to maintain.

[At this point, we paused in the interview for her to have a packing conversation with the woman she’s been dating, Lauren Russell, who is also on the show.

54

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

[ [ LIVING ] ]

They are leaving for a wedding after our interview].

There you go, you just witnessed how to handle a relationship, while being on the road. It can be really challenging. The most important thing is communication. And making sure that the person that you’re with knows that you’re always thinking of them on the road, making sure that you talk to them every day, making sure they know what your experience is out there and what is going on with them at home. There is that physical distance. So, it’s important to make sure that everyone is on the same page. It takes a lot of work sometimes.

After the wedding you’re attending, you’re hitting the road?

Yeah, it’s pretty much non-stop until the end of November, in terms of being on the road. The record comes out at the end of October, and then we’re hitting up every major city in the U.S. and Canada.

So, a lot to come.

Wow, with a schedule like that, how do you keep your stamina up? How do you stay healthy on the road?

I try to eat as healthy as I can, which means not a lot of fast food. I drink a lot of water. Some tours I get up in the morning and run. Also, if it’s a really strenuous tour, I will not drink a drop of alcohol, which can be a difficult thing sometimes. Being on tour can be stressful, and that’s what you want when you’re stressed out. It helps though, to keep your health on the road, to keep it dry. ] Catch local favorite Jen Korte and her Violent Femmes cover band, The Dirty Femmes, opening for Hunter Valentine on Tuesday, Oct. 16, 2013. Doors open at 7 p.m. Tickets available at press time, for $8 (thewalnutroom.com).

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

55

REAL ESTATE

Housing market spells

once-in-a-lifetime

chance to buy

By Jeff Hammerberg

YOUR FUTURE AWAITS YOU Thinking about buying your new dream home?

Call now and learn firsthand why more buyers prefer to work with Inspired Real Estate Brokers over any other company.

Do you have your eye on a really great property, but need to sell your current home first? Inspired Real Estate has the tools for your success.

Let Inspired Real Estate help you build wealth through home ownership.

Mention this ad and receive a bonus closing gift as well as a $1,000 credit towards your closing costs! *(must use First Option Lending, with approved credit, some restrictions apply)

Gay owned and operated

303-225-9795 x701 or 702 7100 East Belleview Ave., Suite G12, Greenwood Village, CO 80111 www.InspiredColorado.com Partnered with:

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

There will never be a better time to buy a home in your lifetime. This is it; the once-in-a-generation time for those who thought home ownership may not be a possibility, to see it come to fruition. This is the time to bring home ownership into your family and change your family legacy.

The economy has struggled in significant ways over the last three to four years and the housing market is now ripe for new home buyers.

Housing markets have been so impacted that prices are now in the hands of buyers. It truly is a buyer’s market in a vast majority of cities in the country, where you can get the house that only five to 10 years ago would have been out of reach for you.

Remember that an investment in a house today bought at a low, low market price will, with historic low interest rates, continue to pay dividends to your net worth as the market rebounds and the house you bought rises in value. This is truly an investment in your future; you buy low with the promise of one day owning your home outright.

Home ownership is one of the best returns on your investment that an American has.

The banking industry, while more restrictive in their lending than in the past, are offering once in a lifetime low interest rates, under four percent.

So if you qualify for a home mortgage, your payments are sure to be lower than monthly rent.

Lenders are eager to loan money if you do the work to make yourself worthy. Your Realtor will provide you a list of the items you need and a referral to an outstanding lender that stands in full support of our community. A brief visit with a lender over the phone can yield the answers to what you need to do to qualify for your home loan. Take that information and formulate a plan to bring yourself into compliance with what the bank needs to lend you the money that they so desperately need to lend.

Remember, you are helping them when you borrow money, and they are helping you achieve your

[ [ LIVING ] ]

goals. It is a win-win situation for you and the bank.

As everyone scrambles to dump their current debt and begin the rebuilding process, people who have put off home buying are prime candidates to take advantage of this, the best time in their lifetime to buy a home.

Home sellers are selling for a reason. You’ll find them more eager to pay closing costs, make repairs or even further drop their price. Once again, remember that you are looking to help the seller, as well as yourself.

Help them to get out from under their current mortgage as you are going into yours. It is in their best interest to negotiate and help you.

When the economy completely rebounds from the crisis of the last six years, housing prices will rise – it’s happening in markets across the country already. And as the housing market speeds up, interest rates will go up, too.

Waiting even a year to purchase a home will change not only the amount of house you get for the money, but also how much you pay for that house. ] Jeff Hammerberg is the founding CEO of www.GayRealEstate.com.

BIG TOYS

Get your money’s worth:

Five great cars by price

By Jonathan McGrew

2012 MINI Cooper S Coupe – $32,400

The MINI Cooper is the exception to the small car rule. Was it crazy to think Americans would buy a small car costing more than $30K with luxury features? Crazy talk! However, MINI pulled it off. What about a two-seater coupe that looks like it is wearing a helmet? Enter the MINI Cooper S Coupe. Turbo-charged, 0-60 in 6.5 seconds, headroom and legroom for those six-foot and taller, and enough trunk room to hold a 24 inch suitcase, a duffel bag and laptop roll aboard. At $32,400 as tested, this sporty, fast and boldly styled coupe makes a statement and is still easy on the pocketbook when you refuel at 27/35 mpg city/hwy. Need more tech? This package has navigation, satellite radio and two-tone leather interior. Why for fall? Challenge the curves before the snow comes and then slap on some snow tires and let the advanced stability and traction control show you that a little car can get you to and fro in the snow. Read more: http://ofcnow.co/eBo

2012 VW EOS Lux – $38,355

When was the last time you looked at a VW convertible?

Perhaps it was a Golf (or, eek...a Rabbit). Maybe, and most likely, it was a New Beetle. What about a hardtop convertible with a panoramic sunroof? The EOS gives Coloradans that unique attribute for an uncommonly affordable price, especially for German engineering. The beauty of this car is the retractable hardtop system. However, it also delivers with it 200-hp and a 0-60 time in the mid-6’s. You can choose to cruise top down, heated seats on, with the dual climate control set for each front passenger, or you can cruise top up with the climate control set and noise levels akin to a hardtop coupe. Wait! There is a third option; the EOS also lets you cruise with the top up and the glass panoramic sunroof open. For $38,355 as tested, the EOS Lux has navigation, satellite radio, leather and will be decent to your wallet at 22/30 mpg city/hwy. Read more: http://ofcnow.co/gBc

2012 Range Rover Sport – $67,695

Some of you may be thinking: This guy is nuts! These cars won’t hack it when it snows; where are the SUVs? Enter one of the most comfortable SUVs I have driven. The Range Rover Sport not only has style and status, but front seats that you have to experience to believe... heated to boot. While not as open as a convertible and lacking a panoramic sunroof (a standard size sunroof

is included), the Range Rover has good visibility and interior headroom, great interior finishes, and a 5.0liter V8 that makes it feel sportier than you would expect. Even better, your mother will be able to get in with the variable air suspension with “Accessible” mode to lower it and “Off-road” mode to raise it to climb over those pesky parking lot barriers at the mall during the holidays. At $67,695, the Range Rover Sport is luxury, but it will get you through anything or its name isn’t Land Rover. Economy? Well, you will have to follow the “Read more” link for the full review. Read more: http://ofcnow.co/AfK

2013 Corvette Grand Sport Convertible – $78,485

The Corvette is a piece of Americana, right alongside apple pie.

The Corvette is celebrating 60 years of moving Americans around the USA (“See the USA in your Chevrolet...”). For the anniversary they are offering a special package that outfits the Corvette Grand Sport Convertible (the flared body mid-tier model) with the Diamond Blue interior, silver racing stripes and a blue soft top with racing stripes in the fabric. At 436-hp with the dual-mode exhaust (good for an extra 6 hp), the Corvette will make you and your passenger’s hearts race with excitement as you whiz by the fall colors and hear the roar of the exhaust echo through the peaks and valleys of the Rocky Mountains. It doesn’t get more American than that. Add heated seats, navigation (however dated looking) and magnetic-ride control, which can take it from comfortable to aggressive in the turn of a knob, and the Corvette can be an amazing top-down driving experience. Ironically, the $78,485 price as tested speaks more to the raw experience than the attention to design detail inside. Read more: http://ofcnow.co/KWC

2012 BMW 650i X-Drive - $100,825

The BMW 650i represents a level of design and quality that few manufacturers can achieve and few consumers get to buy. The two-door 650i coupe is a real head turner and has an interior that will comfort you and your front passenger with 20-way, multi-contour seats trimmed in the best Napa leather. Our test vehicle had an Ivory White interior and an Alpine White exterior; definitely a stand out amongst the burnt orange leaves of the Aspens. Add 400-hp (445-hp for 2013), a panoramic (tilt only) sunroof and the M Sport package, and it might be hard to decide if the beauty in the changing of the Aspens turning or the BMW’s reddish/orange lighting that bathes the interior at night. In case you are wondering, the price as tested rings up at $100,825. MPG you ask? Not quite a guzzler, but still not a Prius at 15/20 mpg city/hwy. Read more: http://ofcnow.co/spR ]

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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PETS

Owners Cadee Harris and Sarah Heid with their beloved pup, Monroe

Monroe is top dog Hello, my name is Monroe.

I’m 5-years-old and was named after another beautiful blond named Marilyn. I am a Labrador Retriever mix and was rescued from the Humane Society of Boulder when I was just 6months-old. I was born in the floods of Mississippi so I speak with a drawl and sometimes sing the blues.

I live in downtown Denver with my two moms Sarah Heid and Cadee Harris.

When I’m not basking in the sun in my mom’s flower shop as a greeter, I enjoy starring in short films, going to

the park and long walks in the rain.

I’m also a great swimmer and love to play frisbee!

I am able do many tricks upon command, such as sit, stay, lay down, fetch, rollover and play dead.

I love people and being social. My best friends are a Pointer named Cody and a Lab named Bailey. My favorite foods are tuna, bacon and chicken noodle soup.

All in all I’m a very happy dog and enjoy life to its fullest!

P.S. My moms are the greatest! ]

SEND US YOUR PET PIX AND STORIES! For many of us, our pets are family.

Out Front Colorado wants to publish your pet pictures and funny stories.

Email to holly@outfrontonline.com.

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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SEXUALITY

HEINZESIGHT

Hooking up with

Demystifying

A CHEATER

TRANS* SEXUALITY The transgender community doesn’t get as much attention as other groups in the LGBTQ world – but the trans umbrella, often written “Trans*” to encompass to the many identities in it, is broad and may refer to as transgender, trans man, trans woman, transsexual and more.

This is the first piece of a multi-part conversation with Colorado trans* identified folks on trans sexuality – one that be similar, or very different, from other LGBTQ folks – and on what dating and relationships may look like for trans* people. In this issue we’ll be looking at the idea of trans* sexuality, and what it looks like for each of those interviewed.

What does sexuality look like for transgender identified folks? Isaiah, 23, said that “people often mistakenly think that gender identity and sexuality [or sexual orientation] are interchangeable terms.”

“Outside of the queer community,” Isaiah said, “it is assumed that if you identify as a man, you will be interested in women and vice versa. Being trans means sexuality is fluid. The farther I get into my transition, the more fluid my sexuality has become.

Being trans has freed me to engage romantic relationships with people all along the gender spectrum.”

For him, being trans has opened up the door to being attracted to people of all identities.

For Molly, 32, trans sexuality can be a little more complicated, based on who she is attracted to. “I believe being a trans women makes my sexuality a bit more unique from others in the LGBQ community,” Molly said. “The main reason is because I am attracted to lesbians and straight men. The difficulty is that I identify my gender by my social interactions, and not my body parts. I often do not know how to approach women as a lesbian, unsure of intimacy since I do not have a Vajayjay, and when approaching straight men as a woman, complications hopefully arise, pun intended.”

In the case of those who identify within the trans spectrum, but not specifically as transgender themselves – such as genderqueer folks, Two Spirit

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Shanna Katz

folks, androgynous identified people and others – trans sexuality can really embody fluidity. For B, 32, “trans* as an umbrella term means all forms of gender fluidity, or gender outside of a normative binary structure, so trans* sexuality kind of means the same thing, meaning there is a fluidity to the way in which sexuality might function inside a relationship (or multiple relationships, or hookups, or what have you). I am in a mostly monogamous relationship with a cisgender [someone whose sex assigned at birth matches their gender identity] woman who also identifies her sexuality as queer, so within our long-term relationship, my sexuality has a lot to do with fluid roles and malleable exploration. Overall, trans* sexuality means that people’s sexual needs are not based within a rigid system of roles and acts, and that anyone should be able to – consensually – experience whatever feels good for them.”

For Sable, 40, the idea of trans* sexuality means looking at more than just sex. “Trans* sexuality, to me, means the discussion of the sexuality of trans* people. Not just our sexuality orientation, or our bits and pieces of body parts, or kibbles and bits as a friend of mine would say, but discussing all aspects of our sexuality. Trans* sexuality includes discussions on how we approach things like sex, dating, relationships with others, relationships with ourselves and our own bodies, and all level of intimate encounters. I feel it is really important to recognize how complex the sexuality of trans* people can be.”

Clearly, there is no one size fits all answer for what trans* sexuality is to each person. Different people have their own experiences and own definitions.

However, it is only once we allow space for their identities, experiences and ideas to be shared that we can truly say that our community is inclusive of the T in LGBTQ. ] If you would like to participate in the next part of the conversation around trans* sexuality, please email shannakatz@gmail.com.

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

Dear Brent, A guy wants to hook up with me, and I think the sex would be amazing. But he has a boyfriend he already cheats on sometimes. I told him he should try to make his relationship “open” so it would be OK, but he was too nervous to bring it up with his guy. I keep thinking that, since he is already doing it with other guys, I wouldn’t be a home-wrecker. I don’t agree with cheating but think that it would be his moral failing, not mine. Do you think it would be wrong of me to hook up with him?

Doesn’t it suck when your morals are in conflict with your penis? This war has raged for centuries: The struggle between what you feel that you should do versus what you want to do. I think you already know the answer in your own heart.

Our minds are amazing tools for solving problems or inspiring growth.

They’re also amazing at finding excuses and moral escape routes that aren’t logical, ethical or helpful. We convince ourselves it’s OK to jump in the car after too many beers because it’s only a few miles home, that it won’t hurt to take that strange man’s candy, or those skinny jeans look awesome.

Quite often we’ll look back and wish we’d paid more attention to our doubts.

C.S. Lewis wrote that “integrity is doing what is right, even when no one is looking.” This really speaks to maintaining focus on your own conscience.

It can be really challenging when something fun or sexy is in front of us – there are times we make choices that bite us in the ass, lead us to regret, or put our honor and sense of personal integrity in jeopardy.

Imagining incredible sex isn’t the most logical justification for sleeping with this guy; I can name thousands of people I could imagine having mind-blowing

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Brent Heinze sex with that don’t involve morally questionable circumstances. Personally, I’m thinking that there are many people running around who are sexy, engaging, and would be a great partner in some sweaty, sticky, wall-shaking, neighborannoying, dog-howling sex. These people may also be in a situation to be honest with you and others in their lives instead of sneaking around.

I understand that you are facing a different decision since your guy is standing in front of you, ready to drop his drawers and go to town. But no matter how you justify it, he is still cheating on a partner who is unaware his boyfriend is hooking up outside the relationship. By his own admission, his relationship is not defined by screwing other people and he is breaking a trust.

How would you want people to react if your boyfriend was doing that, or if you were being tempted away from something you had committed to? There are times that we need to look at the bigger picture and see people’s creepy intentions or lack of honor.

Of course, we are all subject to free will, which includes your choice to hook up with this guy or not. Hopefully most of us have an angel on one shoulder to counter a devil on the other. Angels keep us safe from harm, while devils can keep us turned-on and wondering about the more dangerous side of life. Both can be convincing in the short-term. But when our devious side crushes the parts of us that make us good people, we risk doing immoral things that go against who we are internally. You have to look at yourself in the mirror daily. Make sure that you are doing things to support who you are. Search your feelings. You know them to be true. ] Brent Heinze, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor. Send questions and comments to PerspectiveShift@yahoo.com.

OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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BACK IN THE DAY

From Out Front Colorado’s August 27, 2003 issue …

Article from August 28, 2003

I

n August 2003, Out Front named MVPs for Colorado’s LGBT community: “role models and movers and shakers who live their lives on the front lines – out and proud.”

The list included Denise de Percin, director of the Colorado Anti-Violence Project, Tim Gill, businessman and philanthropist who founded the first-generation publishing software company Quark, and supportive U.S. Reps.

Mark Udall and Dianna DeGette.

Gill, who had founded the pro-LGBT charitable organization The Gill Foundation and within it the Gay & Lesbian Fund for Colorado, is still a well-known player in Colorado’s LGBT political community. In 2005 he founded the Gill Action Fund to support pro-LGBT political issues and candidates, and is more recently

opening the Tim Gill Center for Public Media.

Udall went on to run for the U.S. Senate in 2008, won, and now is one of Colorado’s two U.S. Senators who support same-sex marriage.

Diana DeGette continues to represent all of Denver County and some adjacent suburbs in the U.S. Congress, where she’s become a major advocate of stem cell research.

Also on the 2003 MVP list was Paul Rosenthal, “Political Activist,” who is now running for Colorado’s state legislature in Colorado’s 9th House District, in Denver. Out Front’s own Nuclia Waste, that saturatingly sarcastic and socially savvy drag queen, was also named as a top local performer and fundraiser – she continues to write her Radioactive Vision column for each issue to this day.

August 2003 was a busy year for politics – the American-led war in Iraq had just begun in March, and pundits were speculating which high-profile Democrats would make a bid in the party’s nomination race to face President Bush in the 2004 election. Local businessman John Hickenlooper had been newly sworn in as Denver’s mayor on July 21, and Republican Bill Owens was governor of Colorado. In July, Californian proponents of a recall election to unseat Governor Gray Davis had gathered the required signatures, and by August, a number of celebrities were tossing hats in the ring – most notably Austrian-born science-fiction actor Arnold Schwarzenegger, a Republican who would eventually win that election. ]

Back in MY day…

Got a story, memory or reflection to share from way back when? Let us know about it! Email holly@outfrontonline.com with a 200-400 word story with “back in my day” in the subject line to have it considered for print!

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OCTOBER 3, 2012 | OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

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