Page 1



// 3






4 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6


SERVING THE LGBT COMMUNITY OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS SINCE 1976 PHONE 303-477-4000 • FAX 303-325-2642 WEB FACEBOOK /OutFrontColorado TWITTER @OutFrontCO INSTAGRAM /OutFrontColorado FOUNDER PHIL PRICE 1954-1993 ADMINISTRATION JERRY CUNNINGHAM Publisher J.C. MCDONALD  Vice President MAGGIE PHILLIPS  Operations Manager JEFF JACKSON SWAIM  Chief Strategist EDITORIAL BERLIN SYLVESTRE Editor RYAN HOWE  Digital Content Manager BRENT HEINZE  Senior Columnist CORAL CATALANO  Editorial Intern CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Paul Bindel, Elle Browning, Mike Halterman, Rick Kitzman, Kelsey Lindsey, Mikey Rox, Joseph Soto, Akiva Weinstein, Yvonne Wright, Mike Yost, The Cycle Sluts ART TRISHA HIMMLER  Art Director CARLA ROSAS VITAL + CASSIE SOUCHEK  Graphic Interns CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS + ARTISTS Charles Broshous MARKETING + SALES DUSTIN KRIER  Director of Sales & Marketing TOPHER LA FLEUR  Marketing Executive KELSEY NOLAN  Marketing Executive KALLIE VALDEZ Marketing Intern NATIONAL ADVERTISING  Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 | DISTRIBUTION

OUT FRONT’s print publication is available semi-monthly, free of charge, one copy per person. Additional copies of OUT FRONT may be purchased for $3.95 each, payable in advance at OUT FRONT offices located at 3535 Walnut Street, Denver CO, 80205. OUT FRONT is delivered only to authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of OUT FRONT, take more than one copy of OUT FRONT. Any person who takes more than one copy may be held liable for theft, including but not limited to civil damages and or criminal prosecution.


Reproduction of editorial, photographic or advertising content without written consent of the publisher is strictly prohibited. Advertisers are responsible for securing rights to any copyrighted material within their advertisements. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the claims of advertisers and reserves the right to reject any advertising. Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization in articles or advertising is not to be considered an indication of the sexual orientation or HIV status of such person or organization. Publisher assumes no responsibility for the loss or damage of materials submitted. OPINIONS EXPRESSED are not necessarily those of OUT FRONT, its staff, or advertisers.


Q Publishing Group, LTD is the owner of all right, title, and interest in the OUT FRONT brand and logo. No person or entity may reproduce or use (or authorize the reproduction or use of) the OUT FRONT brand and logo in any manner other than expressly authorized by Q Publishing Group. Unauthorized use of the OUT FRONT brand and logo is strictly prohibited. OUT FRONT is published by Q Publishing, Ltd., a Colorado corporation and is a member of: NEPA, Denver Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, and Denver Drama Critics Circle.


// 5


Building a Modern Family –


There are more than one million individuals in the US who identify as transgender and unsurprisingly, many trans men and women have a strong desire to have biological children. Fortunately, there are many options available for transgender individuals and couples seeking fertility care. Depending on the couple’s or individual’s specific situation (presence or absence of ovaries, testicles, and uterus, as well as willingness to start or stop hormone treatments), a variety of treatment combinations may suit your needs.

What Family-Building Option is Right for You?


In this scenario, eggs from one or both partners can be fertilized through in vitro fertilization (IVF) using a sperm donor (known or anonymous) and placed into the uterus of either partner. Even if hormone therapy has been used for an extended period of time, there is still a good chance (especially if he is less than 35) that eggs can be obtained from his ovaries.

BOTH PARTNERS HAVE TESTICLES: In this scenario, the use of a gestational surrogate and an oocyte (egg) donor are necessary. Once the eggs are retrieved and a gestational surrogate is ready, sperm from one or both partners can be used to fertilize the eggs and then they are placed in the surrogate’s uterus. Additionally, sperm can be introduced into the reproductive tract of a traditional surrogate through a procedure called IUI (intrauterine insemination). While traditional surrogacy is less expensive and considered more natural, the legal complexities of having a child through this method are considerably more complex.

THE HUSBAND HAS OVARIES/UTERUS AND THE WIFE HAS TESTICLES: There are many options for couples in this situation, but the most straightforward method may be getting both partners to stop whatever hormone therapy they are taking and stimulate production of eggs and sperm (this may take up to three months in the case of sperm). Once eggs and sperm are obtained, a gestational surrogate can then be utilized to carry the pregnancy. Of course, if the partner with a uterus wants 6 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 27 Blush & Blu • 1526 E Colfax Ave • 6–8pm An information session, hosted by a panel of specialists, will provide an opportunity to learn about LGBT family-building options and includes gestational surrogacy, sperm/egg donation, adoption, and foster parenting. Sponsored by the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine + OUT FRONT.

to carry the pregnancy, that is possible, but it would require abstaining from hormone treatment for the entire length of the pregnancy.

STORING SPERM OR EGGS PRIOR TO TRANSITION: One of the best steps a transgender individual can take in terms of protecting their reproductive health is to bank or preserve their eggs or sperm prior to transition. Many doctors will recommend this step to their trans patients before starting hormone therapy or prior to surgery that removes ovaries or testicles. Once preserved, the eggs or sperm can be used many years in the future. “If you think you might be interested in having biological children at some point, you should speak with your physician and discuss your options before you undergo any type of treatment — surgery or hormonal — which

may affect your ability to produce sperm or eggs in the future,” says Dr. Laxmi Kondapalli, a physician at the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine (CCRM), one of the nation’s leading fertility clinics. “If you’ve already transitioned, there is the possibility that sperm production may resume and ovaries will ovulate again, but there are also many unknowns in this relatively new field.” Transgender individuals and couples have many options to choose from when they are considering having a family. “It’s important to select a fertility clinic that has trans-inclusive policies and understands the sensitivities within the community,” adds Dr. Kondapalli. “At CCRM, we believe it is the right of every individual or couple to build their own family, and that loving families come in many forms.”

CCRM is located at 4600 Hale Pkwy in Denver. Contact them by phone at 303.788.8300 or online at

“LGBT rights are human rights, and human rights are LGBT rights.”

Return your ballot for Hillary Clinton today. For more info go to

Paid for by Hillary for America OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

// 7

Joseph Soto


n u tin a H g

at 200 E. Colfax


here is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to tourists and other Coloradans. It is a dimension as vast as a legislator’s ego and as timeless as rose onyx interior. It is the middle ground between Democrat and Republican, between policy and dogma, and it lies between the pit of man’s worst fears of government and the summit of his ability to withstand stupidity. This is the dimension of imagination. It is a building which we call … the Colorado State Capitol. Sweet Twilight Zone riff aside, the Colorado State Capitol is legendary for being one of the most haunted places in Denver. Most people who grew up hearing about the eerie urban legends surrounding the State Capitol — or who spend hours going down the rabbit hole of online ghost stories — associate many of the ghost stories with the story of the Espinosa Brothers, a pair of vigilantes from Mexico. As with many tall tales, it’s hard to separate truth from legend here, but many say that Felipe and Jose Espinosa were radicalized after witnessing American forces murder members of their family during the Mexican-American War. Offering a different account, The Denver Post reported in 2011 that they were upset with squatters, presumably settlers who had come to live on their land. Whatever incited their anger, it is believed that the brothers went on to kill nearly two dozen people in the 1860s before they were killed in 1863. Grotesquely, the heads of Felipe and Jose Espinosa were delivered to the State Capitol where they never received a humane burial. Most sources agree that they were stored in the treasurer’s office for a time before being put in storage somewhere in the Capitol. The two heads were eventually burned in a furnace. Today, you can hear the


sound of hoofbeats in the Capitol — the Espinosa brothers looking for their heads. But wait: There’s more. According to a volunteer tour guide, in the late afternoon, a white vapor rises from the floor in front of the Senate, quickly resembling a Victorian-era woman who is believed to be the ghost of a senator’s wife. Some believe that this senator’s wife caught him having an affair in the Capitol. What’s unclear, though, is whether the woman killed herself or was killed. Regardless, her ghost continues to haunt the Senate chambers in which her adulterous husband once served. Others have reportedly heard loud noises coming from the Capitol in the dead of night, lights being turned on, and doors opening when no one is in the building. Scarily, some even hear voices arguing and talking in nearby staircases. Unfortunately for those who like when the hair on their neck stands up, none of these ghost sightings have been verified as paranormal, and not much documentation exists to help create a background on any of the people whose souls are said to still roam the halls of the Capitol. However, there is no logical argument that can refute the fact that the Capitol can be a really creepy place, even after legislators and lobbyists have left the building. The entire world’s supply of Rose Onyx and massive amounts of White Yule Marble, while creating an ornate and gorgeous interior, can’t cover up the weird feeling people get in certain parts of the building. Even in daytime, it is not uncommon to see a shadow move just beyond eyesight or to hear footsteps when otherwise alone in a hallway. Imagine how scary the place can get at night! If you find yourself at or near the Capitol on Halloween, let me know what you find. Better yet, don’t.


// 9

Joseph Soto

B r idg d r i e: h T A Classic Aurora Haunt


rab your popcorn (or your beer) and let me fill your heart with FEAR! (No? Okay, well I tried.) Nevertheless, Aurora, Colorado’s Third Bridge is legitimately scary. Without a doubt, the Third Bridge is the perfect place for a frightening urban legend. Imagine a long, dirt road adorned on both sides by tangled, gnarly trees. There are almost no lights, and its silence comes with such deafening ubiquity that a person could almost hear their heartbeat thump, thump, thumping in their head like Edgar Allen Poe’s Tell-Tale Heart. It’s easy to get lost, if not on the bridge than in the surrounding fields into which the road dips. If a visitor were to yell out into the pitch-black abyss, they would likely stir up paranormal activity before eliciting an actual human response. Animals seem to gravitate toward Third Bridge, with bugs swarming more fervently in the sky and birds seemingly landing only in the coldest, most disconcerting areas. Yeah, it’s spooky. A perennial favorite spot for thrill seekers and stoners alike, Third Bridge is said to be the site of a number of grisly deaths, the souls of the dead supposedly haunting the bridge and surrounding fields. Most who know about Third Bridge grew up hearing about a tribe of Native Americans who were massacred by bloodthirsty settlers while the men were away. No life was spared, and the entire village was burned to the ground. When the men came back, they found their village destroyed and their families killed. With war drums beating, they rode off to avenge these deaths, and those war drums can still be heard today if you’re quiet enough — or so the legend goes. It turns out the urban tale is just that ... a tale. I’m From


Denver dug for evidence of the massacre, but found it is likely not to have occurred at Third Bridge. Yet, some of the details may be familiar to readers as the Sand Creek Massacre, which occurred nearly 200 miles away. Tragically though, I’m From Denver found that there was a bloody incident between settlers and Native Americans near Third Bridge that was instrumental in helping foment government-sanctioned violence against Native Americans in the run-up to the Sand Creek Massacre. Depending on which account you believe, in 1864, a settler killed a Native American in cold blood for attempting to take his horse. That led Native warriors to kill the settler’s family before killing him too and leaving their bodies mutilated. The family’s bodies were brought to Denver, where Governor John Evans politicized their death to push for a violent war against Native Americans along the eastern plains. Adding to the uncomfortably eerie vibe of Third Bridge is the 1997 death of two teens who went to Third Bridge to experience paranormal events, and the still unsolved and gruesome 2010 murder of a man near the area. Some visitors report seeing a girl, hearing screams, and seeing vehicles in the area that disappear upon approach. Realistically, there is probably an explanation for many of the frightening occurrences that take place at Third Bridge. Yet, reason can’t write off the feeling of being on the bridge alone seeing lights that vanish in the blink of an eye or hearing screams, muffled voices, and beating drums coming from all around. If you’re daring enough to seek out creepy places on Halloween, Third Bridge ought to be at the top of your list.

Every ofďŹ ce is different; every client special.

Providing personalized janitorial services to the Denver Metro area.

720.361.8673 An LGBT owned & operated commercial cleaning company


// 1 1

Zorn, Defender of Zeph yri a

One look at Zorn, animated star of FOX’s live-action Son of Zorn, and you’ll recognize from where his creators’ inspiration came. He looks a lot like He-Man, Master of the Universe, right down to the furry loincloth, and it’s relatively easy to DIY this costume. Hot glue brown faux fur that you can find at a local craft or fabric store to a pair of briefs and attach it to a wide belt with a homemade letter Z “buckle” in the center. Add a shoulder-length red wig, gold wrist cuffs, and a sword, and you’re all set to conquer the tribes of Agon — and maybe a straggler from the go-go bar.

‘Roasted’ Ann Coulter

Real-life supervillain Ann Coulter got the verbal beating of a lifetime at Comedy Central’s Roast of Rob Lowe earlier this year — she was referred to as “a repugnant, hateful, hatchet-faced bitch” at one point, and nobody disagreed — which makes this figurative concept ripe for your own creativity. You can easily make this a couples’ costume, too, by asking a friend to transform into vile homosexual Milo Yiannopoulos as your devil-horned sidekick.

1 2 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6


here’s no better time of year to be unabashedly, unequivocally, unflinchingly gay than Halloween. This year, pop culture provided us a treasure trove of costume ideas. Here you’ll find the most topical, haute, and hilarious gay-friendly Halloween costumes of 2016. From controversial public policies come to life to the roasting of Ann Coulter to Alex Jones’ “gay frog,” this year’s biggest headlines, memes, and entertainment personalities are now the must-wear, one-night disguises of the season. Halloween is here, LGBTI fam, and it’s totally queer. Let’s get in the spirit.

Gender Neu tr al Bathroom Sign

Gender-neutral bathrooms became one the most controversial talking points of the year thanks to an influx of transgender-rights bills around the country, and the rhetoric (along with the heads of, like, half the United States) exploded when major retailers, including Target, decided to install unisex lavatories, despite calls from the alt-right for a boycott. If you felt left out from all this inclusiveness, now’s your chance to raise a few brows and, in all likelihood, draw the ire of a couple backwoods hillbillies with the wearable unisex bathroom-sign costume from


You could go full-on fiercebitch Beyoncé this Halloween — in all her fur and fringe glory — but you’ll get more guesswork out of a straightforward approach to her Twitter-tizzying album, Lemonade, with a few nodand-wink surprises mixed in. There are all manner of creative options on Pinterest to personify the tart-but-sweet summer refresher, after which Queen Bey titled her magnum opus, from glam to cas’. Grab a Louisville Slugger and throw a bottle of hot sauce in your bag (swag), and your own real-life Becky with the good hair won’t know what hit her.

Gay Frog

Blubbering radio host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is certain he’s identified the real threat to American democracy: According to the radicalconservative blowhard in a video posted this past summer, somebody somewhere is dumping chemicals in the water to turn frogs – wait for it — gay! That’s right — amphibians everywhere are getting their queer Kermit on just to spite family values and church spaghetti dinners. You can cop frog costumes just about anywhere, though eBay perhaps has the widest selection, then sass it up like only your gay ass knows how.

Logo’s ‘Prince Ch a r ming’ No, we’re not talking about Snow White’s knight in shining armor here. Rather, Logo’s idea of “royalty,” Robert Sepùlveda Jr., the former sex worker-turned-dating show contestant on Logo’s Finding Prince Charming — our community’s limp-wristed

version of The Bachelor (as if that wasn’t already wispy enough). Of course, we pass no judgment on fame-seekers and reality-TV egomaniacs, so we’ll leave that job to you in your characterization of the queen this Halloween. Ah, the irony. OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

// 1 3

Mikey Rox

T Eggpl ant or Pe ach Emoji

Leave it to the gays to take something as innocent as the unassuming eggplant and peach emojis and defile them into expressions of lust and pornography. Because, why not? Pick your preference this All Hallows’ Eve — are you a size queen or an ass man? — and show your friends just how fruity you are. Resources like eBay, Amazon, and will reveal several quality results, ranging from about $35 up to $500.

a yes G e h t H alloween Costumes of 2016 and how to get them

Str anger Things’ Ill- fated Ba rb

Everybody’s favorite forgotten dead girl (on Netflix anyway), Stranger Things’ Barb rises from the shadows of the Upside Down just in time to make an appearance at your bestie’s costume party — and you’re in luck. News and entertainment outlets — from to Glamour to Bustle — have provided their take on how this quintessential ’80s wallflower should be recreated, complete with vintage pink eyeglasses, a front-buttoned denim skirt from Forever 21, and a cross-body handbag that you can snatch at Target.

Ba re- Chested Pu tin on a Horse (of a Different Color )

1 4 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6

There are plenty of photographs of Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin on the interwebs, but perhaps none more famous than the iron-fisted leader’s shirtless horseback gallop through the Siberian countryside. Immediately, and quite fairly, memes sprang forth — many of which suggested a Brokeback Mountain sitch featuring Putin compadre Donald Trump as his riding companion. Recreate these Photoshopped gems as a couples’ costume with a Putin mask available on Amazon plus a million and one options for Trump get-ups in Halloween stores everywhere, completed by a unicorn ride-on costume from for gay-thenticity.

Creating and sustaining a positive business environment and providing experiences you can’t find anywhere else! 303-344-1500

14305 E. Alameda Ave., Suite 300 Aurora, CO 80012


// 1 5

S s ay d i K elle browning

THE Damn dest



y 4-year-old daughter and I were getting ready to go to church, and as I’m picking out her clothing, I see her staring

at her closet ceiling. I don’t think much of it and leave the room to find her missing shoe. I come back in and she’s still staring up at the same spot. I bend down next to her and stare up, too. “What are you looking at?” I ask her. She tells me, “That man” with a tone that suggest it’s silly of me to even ask. I look more carefully, in case there’s a series of paint cracks that looks like a man — the house is really old, after all. I still can’t make anything out. “Right there!” she says, her finger making a slow sway back and forth. “He has a long, snake neck.” The imagery gives me a chill. Where would she come up with something like that? A long, snake neck? Then it dawned on me that years ago, I’d been told about a young man who hanged himself in the house a generation before we bought it, but I willingly never gave it much thought. I picked her up and dressed her in the living room. It didn’t take long for me to find police records on where exactly the young man had killed himself. That room is now for storage only.



y youngest daughter, then 6, had a fascination with knives. We’d find one hidden in her nightstand on the occasion we’d remember to look. To our knowledge, she never played with them; just kept one in her nightstand. Yet again one evening, I found a steak knife hidden under her big box of markers. Instead of scolding her for the hundredth time, my husband and I sat next to her on the bed and asked, in the most gentle way, why she feels she needs a knife so close. It took awhile to get her to speak, which was expected — she was always

“A compilation of creepy tales from the mouths of babes.”

a very quiet one. She kept saying she didn’t want to tell us, but we assured her repeatedly that whatever she had to say would be ok with me and Daddy. When she finally began to speak, her voice was shaking. “I don’t want them to kill me again,” she said hoarsely. “If I had a knife, I could have stopped those men who kicked in the door, and I could have my old life with my old family back.”

10/24 11/18 11/20 12/17-18

Together Tour Anthony Bourdain Wild Kratts Live PAW Patrol Live!

10/29 11/4-6 11/18-20 12/30-31

La Arrolladora Banda El Limon Colorado Ski & Snowboard Expo Holiday Food & Gift Festival Decadence


// 1 7


y 5-year-old son always attributed the sounds of our house settling at night to “white wolves” creeping about. One evening, just as I’d finished reading to him and closed the book, he turned his little back to me, rolling over to sleep. I tucked him in and he said, “The white wolves are our friends, Mommy.” Thankful for his positive imagination, I agreed in a whisper, “Yes. The wolves are our friends.” He half-turned his body for a sleepy goodnight kiss and said, “They protect me from the man who crawls on the floor and stands by my bed.”



’m an elderly chap who enjoys the company of my two young grandchildren — they’re not siblings, they’re cousins — who visit every so often, but rarely together. One Thanksgiving evening, after everyone else had shuffled off to bed, the grandson and I stayed up to play a board game in my furnished basement. There’s a bedroom down there, and the door was open. He’d look up from a dice-roll here and there, and when I finally asked what he was looking at, he whispered, “A lady. She’s pretty. Why is she hiding?” I didn’t want to give away that it was giving me the willies, but we wrapped up the game and soon went to bed. I told him I didn’t know who she was as I tried to get him to fall asleep in bed with me. Months later, my younger granddaughter visited and wanted to watch cartoons on the “big TV” downstairs. We were waiting on the roast, so I thought it’d be a great way to pass some time. We

get to the bottom of the stairs, and she stops and looks into the dark, open room. “What’s wrong?” I ask. She grabs my hand and asks who “that lady” is. Could this be happening? I walked toward the room, flicked the lights on, and politely asked where the lady was. She said, “She wants to hide. Come on, Grandpa” and headed back upstairs. The next Christmas, they were both here and a big, family party was underway. I admit to having a few rounds of good scotch (a lovely gift!), and danced my way to the Christmas tree where the young duo were gathered. I leaned over them to see what they were staring at, and they looked up at me. “That’s the lady who hides downstairs, Grandpa,” my granddaughter said, pointing to an ornament with my latewife’s young face. They were both looking at me for explanation, but I was now short of breath and trying to steady my glass.

My beloved Nancy had a fatal, epileptic seizure in our basement bedroom nearly 15 years prior. Needless to say, I wasn’t much company for the rest of the party. After the family had gone, I moved my things back downstairs into that room and have been waiting for her to come out of “hiding” ever since.

Who’s the “ man with the

snake neck or the ‘lady who hides’?

HAMBURGER MARY’S RETURNS After a nine-month hiatus, Hamburger Mary’s has returned to the Mile High City. Mile High Hamburger Mary’s, located at 1336 E. 17th Ave, is now open for business under new management. The new Mary’s, which will cater to the sports crowd, features 21 high-definition flat screen televisions. OUT FRONT stopped by on October 2nd for Sports Ball Sunday. A capacity crowd was on hand to watch the Denver Broncos defeat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Photos by Charles Broshous


Buster is an adorable dog who’s ready to settle into his new home. He enjoys ear rubs, car rides, and lounging in the back yard. He would do best as an only dog with an active owner.


Meet Shadow! This handsome and sweet little dog enjoys leash walks, car rides, and (of course) treats. He has lived well with other dogs in the past and would do best in a home with children over 12.

rience Giving Expe e™ Shelter iv G to s w Pa ary 2, 2017 , 2016 // Janu d November 15 ns are invite season, patro aw” “p a t Each holiday ou l fil facilities to to our three n amount ith a donatio ls. decoration w y on our wal la sp di r fo and message so welcome. al e ar s lie supp the Donations of rents to visit t time for pa imals an e th This is a grea ew vi their children, irit of giving. shelter with d share the sp in our care, an St 80 S. Quebec | 20 2 77 1-5 75 ) (303


// 1 9

Mike Yost

aits .. w . it Dreaming


ad. Mad! “This author is mad!” you’ll say. Don’t deny it!

I read it out loud. Then ... then I heard heavy footfalls.

Those shrill words are cutting into my ears, clear as a bell struck hard with a hammer on a winter morning. And you’re right, dear reader. I am mad.

I glanced upward. He stood in his threadbare tweed jacket at the far end of the bookshelves. He was rubbing his forehead, scratching away the skin while his unblinking eyes stared at me. The professor!

Though there was a time (seems decades ago) when I was lucid. But sanity has turned to ash, coating my tongue with a bitter embrace.

I stumbled as I stood, the professor now scraping harder at this face. I watched in horror as red ribbons of curled flesh fell next to his polished shoes in sloppy splashes of blood.

It started when I began my research for an article on the history of Halloween. Seemed a harmless, amusing assignment. A few hours in the library nestled comfortably among the printed pages of so many minds, followed by an interview with a respected professor of humanities.

He then spoke with words coughed out of a mouth as black as space: “Cthulhu waits dreaming.”

I would sit quietly in his stuffy office next to leaning stacks of books, the professor’s tweed jacket threadbare at the elbows. He would rub his forehead as he spoke, scratching the deep lines carved into his gruff face from grading too many poorly written student essays. His breath would smell of whiskey.

I drove home in a panic, only to find him standing in my doorway, picking away at the last few remaining strips of loose flesh from his forehead. “Cthulhu waits dreaming,” he whispered.

But I never got to his office. No. No, my dear reader. I knew something was wrong when I sat down in that library between two towering bookshelves that seemed to loom over me, watching me with silent contempt.

I now write this in my basement, a full moon peeking through a small window above my head. The professor stands nearby, reciting those three accursed words. I can see his skull, polished bare and glowing white in the moonlight.

And the entire library was unusually quiet. No. Loud with silence! Foreboding. Cold.

I ran as fast my feet would carry me. But the professor was outside the library entrance! “Cthulhu waits dreaming,” he said calmly.

Frantic, I tried to call my boyfriend. But I only heard the professor’s acrid voice: “Cthulhu waits dreaming.”

And his eyes! Now dry and wrinkled, like black raisins.

But I shook away my unease and read how Halloween — All Hallows’ Eve — has deep, pagan roots with celebrations that pre-date Christianity. One such Celtic festival, called Samhain, signified the night where the veil between the living and the dead was lifted.

The Necronomicon lays open in my lap. The answer must be in here, but the book contains only a single phrase repeated on every papyrus page: “Ph-nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.”

Then I came across a most curious tome, bound with a most unusual leather. It appeared to be flesh colored. Perhaps from a cow? Perhaps not.

What does it mean? If only the professor could speak!

There was a single word cut into the leather cover: Necronomicon.


It’s written in crimson. Perhaps with red ink. Perhaps not.

I am mad, indeed. Mad with fear that I’ll be trapped here forever! I can only hope that someone can translate the phrase. Please hurry, dear reader. Hurry before I’m consumed by the mouth of madness!

30 th Anniversary Local Legends Gala

Lionsgate Event Center, Lafayette

tickets available at


// 2 1

a n dG y k o a o A Few Queer Halloween Delights


ou never know where LGBTIQ people might turn up next. We are your teachers, your grocers, your vampires, and your mad scientists. LGBTIQ people are indeed everywhere, even in the Crypt of the Living Dead. Here are a few classic queer horror titles, all available on DVD for your Halloween viewing.

The Bride of Frankenstein (1935) In 1931, director James Whale (1889–1957) terrified the world with his take on Mary Shelley’s classic tale Frankenstein. The film was actually a bit of a collaboration between the filmmaker and a then-unknown actor named Boris Karloff, who played Dr. Frankenstein’s tragic creation — together they created a character who was a sympathetic manchild trapped in a monster’s body. The poor creature never understood why people were so afraid of him — some film historians have speculated that the monster was a metaphor for Whale’s life as a closeted gay man. In Bride of Frankenstein, Whale stepped out of the closet a bit. Audiences were introduced to Dr. Praetorius (Ernest Thesiger), with whom Dr. Frankenstein creates the Bride, a female monster. Dr. Praetorius was a screaming, effeminate queen who stared lovingly at his much-younger pupil, and the stage-trained Thesiger played the role in all it’s giddy, limp-wristed, lisping glory.




David-Elijah Nahmod

Though the “word” was never said, it’s clear today that Dr. Praetorius was a gay man. Though he’d now be seen as a negative stereotype, Praetorius was quite a daring character for 1935. Whale and Thesiger pulled it off beautifully.

Voodoo Island (1958) Another of horror-icon Boris Karloff’s many films. This low budgeter is the type of B movie which was enormously popular in drive-ins during the 1950s and 60s. Karloff plays Philip Knight, a best selling author who’s investigating voodoo myths on a desolate tropical island — he plans to debunk those myths as foolish superstitions. Kmoght’s merry band includes Claire, played by a little-known actress named Jean Engstrom (1920–1997). Claire is a lesbian. She flirts openly with Knight’s female secretary and expresses her disdain for men. Her lesbianism is so obvious that one of the male characters refers to it — without actually saying the L word of course — this was the 1950s after all. Claire was said to belong to a “private and exclusive club.” Jean Engstrom’s acting career consisted primarily of guest roles on TV series. Voodoo Island was one of her very few theatrical releases. For having the courage to play a lesbian during those more innocent times, we remember and salute Jean Engstrom.

The Haunting (1963) This terrifying mood piece is a ghost story like no other. Robert Wise, an admitted fan of horror and science fiction, directed it in between his Oscar-winning musicals West Side Story and The Sound of Music. Depressed and sexually repressed Eleanor (Julie Harris) is part of a small scientific research team investigating the alleged haunting of Hill House, an isolated mansion in the New England countryside. Theo (Claire Bloom), another member of the group, is a lesbian who’s clearly attracted to Eleanor. Eleanor has another suitor: the ghost of old Mr. Crane, the man who built Hill House 90 years earlier. The always unloved, unhappy Eleanor suddenly finds herself at the center of a bizarre love triangle in this, a most satisfyingly scary old-fashioned chiller. Bloom plays Theo with a delightfully over-the-top panache. Unlike the independently produced low budget Voodoo Island, The Haunting is a big-budget, A-list studio production. Which means that Theo is possibly the first out, proud character in a major Hollywood film.

The Vampire Lovers (1970) The Vampire Lovers is the most famous film version of Carmilla, Sheridan LeFanu’s 19th century novel about lesbian vampires. Considered shocking in it’s day, the book was banned in the UK for many years — it’s currently in print in both the USA and the UK.

Polish-born Holocaust survivor Ingrid Pitt had a brief brush with movie stardom after playing Countess Carmilla Karnstein in the wildly successful The Vampire Lovers. Carmilla goes to great pains to hide her vampirism, but flirts openly with women throughout the film — the telltale “vampire’s kiss” is left upon the breasts of young ladies. Produced by England’s Hammer Films, who specialized in old-fashioned Gothic horror, the film offers all the trappings that genre aficionados love: drafty old castles and fog-shrouded graveyards are seen in abundance. Carmilla’s lesbianism put a fresh new spin on a formulaic tale which makes the film great fun.

Daughters of Darkness (1971) Perhaps the kinkiest vampire film ever produced. John Karlen (Dark Shadows) and Danielle Ouimet play a pair of swinging bisexual newlyweds honeymooning in a largely deserted albeit elegant hotel in Belgium. The hotel’s only other guests are a lesbian couple (Delphine Seyrig, Andrea Rau), both of whom are vampires. A bizarre game of cat-and-mouse seduction ensues, which becomes all the more fascinating when it’s revealed the Seyrig’s character is actually Countess Elizabeth Bathory, a real-life 16th-century noblewoman who bathed in the blood of virgins, hoping to maintain her youth. Visually stunning, erotic and hypnotic, Daughters of Darkness is a most unusual and unforgettable entry in the canon of horror cinema. Happy Halloween!


REPUBLICAN GRUMPS AND RUMPS STUMP FOR TRUMP; Mugwumps Fail to Dump Palin rally be like? I grabbed the chance last Independence Day weekend when they hastily agreed to star in the Western Conservative Summit (WCS), sponsored by the Colorado Christian University (CCU). As a real reality show displaying the dynamic duo in all their wacky glory, would it be entertaining? As a prescient indication of a Trump administration, would it be terrifying? Unable to find Anderson Cooper in the media horde lining the back wall of the Rocky Mountain Ballroom at the Convention Center, I sat among the paying customers absorbing the palpable anticipation. Curiously, only half of the 4000 chairs were occupied. After solemn prayers, patriotic songs, and Christian demagogues, the audience was primed for the Messiah or Mephisto (your choice) and his disciple or shedevil (your choice). When Mrs. Palin walked onstage, I thought, Crap, I have to redecorate. She wore a blood-red blazer and black skirt, ruining a favorite color combination used in my kitchen. Mrs. Palin parasitically praised her co-star, then ranted and rambled incoherently. 2 4 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6

She was daffy; I was doodling. Daffy ... Disgraceful Alaskan Fibbing Fishwife, also Immoral (DAFFI). Mrs. Palin yanked me back with her damning indictment of The Donald dissenters: “I call them Republicans Against Trump, or RAT for short. (HAHAHA!) We are taking our country back, and you are either with us or against us.” M r. T r u mp p e r fo r m e d as antagonistically. He picked at the scab of his loss during the Colorado Republican primary, setting aside healing the rift, insisting “it was rigged.” Spoiler Alert! Casinos, professional wrestling, and Southern voting laws are rigged. Mr. Trump also ranted and rambled incoherently, reminding me of a quack peddling a hair tonic: the Kook With a Comb Over the Color of an Orangutan’s Ass (KWAC for short). But the laughable man onstage and his enthralled audience were no laughing matters. Mr. Trump promised to return to Colorado so often we would “get sick of seeing him.” With a creepy glee, each prattled on chastising non-supporters, denigrating Democrats, and blithering unachievable goals. Neither speaker commanded basic speaking skills, nor said anything

of substance. Artifice replaced gravitas. Inexplicably, Mr. Trump’s yapping, orally flung like dung from a peeved chimp, and Mrs. Palin’s screeching, shrill and senseless like a Jabberwocky off its Ritalin, elicited standing ovations. Wait, why was I standing! The power of the mob was difficult to buck. Politicians bedazzle like jewels; the phoniest are the shiniest. KWAC & DAFFI blinded the 2000 attendees who bestowed them rock-star status at this mad rave. I returned home, felt flu-ish, and napped, waking to a nightmare of strangulation, gasping for breath. The second day, having had enough of cranky and caustic speakers, I visited vendors’ booths. My old buddy Bill manned the NRA booth. (We had bonded the day before figuring out a new parking kiosk.) What did he think of Mr. Trump’s speech? “Same old bullshit.” Young, perky, pretty Amy manned (womaned?) Turning Point USA, a conservative cause targeting high school and college students. “Like MoveOn. org,” she explained, “only far right.” “Far out,” I said regrettably. Amy had

Rick Kitzman


loved Mr. Trump’s speech, and later, had confronted angry demonstrators. “I got a lot of support!” she said. Silicone squeeze-heads of Obama with an attached tag “1-20-17” (his last day in office) covered the table of The Weekly Standard, a conservative magazine indirectly owned by Colorado’s Anschutz Corporation. Shirley encouraged me to take as many as I wanted. (I’m thinking eBay.) What did she think of Mr. Trump’s speech? “He met my expectations.” When pressed to elaborate? “He met my expectations.” Okay. Seeking signs of the Log Cabin Republicans, the conservative gay organization that made headlines last year when they were denied their own booth, I found none. As a pundit seeking truth, I’m like a pig rooting for truffles; at least, the pig finds its shrooms. But truth is tricky. Whose truth? Repeat a lie often enough and convince enough people to believe it, the lie becomes “truth.” For two days, the “truth” I heard came from:

REPUBLICANS: The Centennial Institute, an affiliated think tank with CCU and major player at the WCS, claims on its website: “We are not a lobby ... we do not endorse candidates or ballot issues ... we are not for or against any political party.” Yet, at the summit all, topics supported far-right positions, Mr. Trump appeared as the presumptive presidential candidate (a pseudoendorsement), all political speakers were Republican, and all Democrats were demonized with Obama their anti-Christ. Note to tank: Think about the Commandment, “Thou shalt not lie.” Discuss. GRUMPS: Grandstanding defenders,

mostly pissed-off, old white guys, spoon-fed their mostly pissed-off, old white audience who swallowed a smorgasbord of fear. Attendees might as well have been carrying “The End Is Near” placards.

RUMPS: Advocates barked asinine claims, and vendors displayed theirs: America is the greatest country in the world; NOT ONE of Obama’s policies works to their satisfaction and will be perpetuated by that harridan Hillary; ONLY THEY can make this country great again. These cornerstone themes defied logic and denied recognition of inherent contradiction. MUGWUMPS: Wikipedia states during the presidential election of 1884, enough Republicans rejected their financially corrupt, untrustworthy, and fraudulent candidate (sound familiar?), swinging the close race to victory by Democrat Grover Cleveland. “Mugwump” morphed from an Algonquian Indian name for “important person” to fencesitter, his “mug” or face on one side and his “wump” or rump on the other. Angry Republicans “sometimes hinted [Mugwumps] were homosexual, calling them ‘man milliners.’” The Dump Trump movement obviously failed, but protesters, voters like my buddy Bill, and 2000 missing attendees proved all was not hunky-dory in Donald-Land. Let us pray this history repeats itself and today’s man-milliners multiply exponentially. The summit was sponsored by organizations purporting to represent Christianity and its standard bearer who preached love, tolerance, forgiveness. I found none of that. “Beware of false prophets,” the Christ warned in Matthew 7:15, “who come to you in sheep’s

clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.” I found plenty of them. In mass delusion, WCS presenters howled they spoke for all of America. This pack of wolves propagandized passions and religion as fact. Critical thinking meant criminal treason. Disagreeing patriots were branded conspiratorial traitors. Special interests and dictatorial dogma superseded compromise for the common good. There was no “love thine enemies as thyself,” only anger and judgment to destroy imaginary enemies. There was no room at this inn for their savior. Jesus would have wept. I will weep too if Mr. Trump wins the presidency. Millions of my fellow citizens will cheer, which saddens, angers, and scares me because The KWAC & DAFFI Show — terrifying, NOT entertaining — predicated on lies and exaggerated fears, represented a dangerous force gripping our country and grinding away any vestige of unification. Rallies in Nazi Germany and fascist Italy kept coming to mind. A Hillary Clinton victory will be as divisive, unification as elusive, but at least a sane person will be in office. By my guess, Mr. Trump has broken nine of the Ten Commandments (and maybe the killing one indirectly). So why did none of these Christians possess the spine to denounce The Donald publicly? Because he is NOT Hillary. Insanely, that is all he needs to get their votes. The Founding Fathers, invoked often at the summit, must be flipping their collective wig. Mr. Trump was partially right about one thing: I was sick of seeing him, but it took only one visit. OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

// 2 5

2 6 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6

Paul Bindel

warm cookie’s post-election dance party Evan Weissman calls in from his car, driving up from Colorado Springs after leading a weeklong non-violence seminar. The 37 year old is a busy man, not just as a new father and frequent guest speaker, but as the founder of a one-of-a-kind Denver “Civic Health Club” called Warm Cookies of the Revolution. After its highly successful Stomping Ground Games, a year-long whistle-stop celebration of Denver neighborhoods, Warm Cookies kicks off its fifth season with an epic post-election dance party.

It’s Halloween and election season, and both are charged with fear. Why is that?

Well, what motivates people? A hope that things can get better or a fear that things can be lost. Our country’s policies and leaders have failed to serve so many people. The main way life has improved is that we can buy more stuff, and meanwhile, we’re fed the idea that someone is going to take that stuff away. Fear is natural when we’re told we’ll lose the things we’ve accumulated.

How does Warm Cookies interface with the culture of fear? EW: By using humor and a weird take on things, we’re able to look fear at the eye. Look, no one wants to talk about sexism or terrorism. You bring up these ideas or annoying, hard topics like OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

// 2 7

budgets — there’s fear around these concepts. So we say “No. f*ck it! We’re going to deal with it in a fun way.” We’re looking behind the mask of the Wizard of Oz, by coming at it through humor and creativity. You fight fear with love, and that sounds cheesy, but one form of love is embracing each other and laughing.

What is Warm Cookies’ take on voting? EW: We believe you should vote every day, not just every four years. The people who sell us Pepsi and Coke are the same marketers who sell us candidates during the election. I don’t mean to be cynical, but it’s true. I think we need to ask: Where are our allegiances? How do we spend our time? How do we spend our money? How do we celebrate each other? That relates to the dance and the party. Look, it’s the Friday after the election. We’re having a party because we have to get back to work tomorrow, regardless of who wins. It’s important to get together and have a little bit of fun before we get back to work.

What can we expect at the party? EW: You’ll hear music from Mile High Soul Club and The Pink Hawks. There will be delicious food from a co-op of women who cook in Elyria-Swansea. We’ll have piñatas and adult beverages. Pundits always analyze what a president does during the first 100

2 8 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6

days, so a handful of organizations will share 1–2 action steps we can take during the first 100 days, and people can commit to action steps on a postcard, which I’ll mail to them three months later. We’ll even have a side room where, if folks feel stressed or pissed off about the election, they can strategize on potential action, but ultimately, this is a big dance party!

Warm Cookies of the Revolution’s Dance Party The Election is Over, Tonight We Dance is Friday November 11, 7–10 pm at the McNichols Building, free to all with a suggested donation is $5–8.

MATTHEW SHEPARD HONORS GALA The Matthew Shepard Foundation’s 2016 Honors Gala was held on October 8th at the Westin Hotel in downtown Denver. Approximately 400 people came out to help raise funds for the Foundation. This year’s award winners included Zachary Mallory (Spirit of Matthew Award), Morris Price Jr. (Dennis Dougherty Award for Community Leadership), and Jonathan Capehart and Sean Hayes (Making a Difference Award). Photos by Charles Broshous



8 MOS +


// 2 9


I’m about as liberal as they come: I supported Bernie when that was still a thing, I support Amendment 69 (the healthcare one), heck I probably would have voted for the legalization of recreational marijuana had I been around when the opportunity arose — and hey, I know legally, I don’t have to tell anyone, but I plan on voting for Hillary. Before doing so however, as an ally, I must ask myself: Where does Hillary Clinton stand on LGBT rights? She and Bill have a complicated history on the subject: Back during his first 3 0 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6

term in presidency, the power couple aimed to tackle equal opportunity for gays in the military, and they were defeated. One might ask if this loss left a bad taste in their mouth, as they did not breach the subject again, leaving it an afterthought in their platform. Nonetheless, here we are, around 20 years later with the decision to support or not support Secretary Clinton. You know, Hillary loves riding off Obama’s achievements; in fact, her very “On the Issues” page on Google states, “The U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling on marriage equality represents America at its best: just, fair, and moving toward equality. Now we have more work to do. I’ll fight to ensure lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Americans have full

equality under the law, and to end discrimination in employment, housing, schools, and other aspects of our society.” In other words, this says, “The Supreme Court, under Obama’s administration, made gay marriage legal. Elect me as president and I’ll try to impact the community positively too.” It appears that she stands with us, yet, the criticism exists: Hilary did not support gay marriage until 2013! Hillary did not mention gay rights once during the first presidential debate! There are plenty of others. So, again, the question arose: Where does she stand on the issues? And conversely, what would Hillary as President of the United States mean for the LGBT community?

Akiva Weinstein

I went through the pages while consciously contemplating all the boxes I will check (and omit from checking) to finally end this crazy election season this November.

I chatted with my friend Alex, who’s a member of the LGBT community here in Denver. Alex has been a Hillary supporter for a long while. He firmly believes that she stands with the LGBTIQ community and that she would be an excellent choice.

WHY DO YOU SUPPORT HILLARY? She is someone who has integrity and experience. When I hear her talk, I don’t just hear some politician. Hilary, of course, hasn’t had the most pristine record, but if you go back, while she didn’t nominally support the word marriage, she always supported equal rights and stood with us.

HOW DO YOU JUSTIFY SUPPORTING HILLARY WHEN PEOPLE CLAIM SHE IS SO BACK-ANDFORTH ON THE ISSUES?IN OTHER WORDS, DO YOU BELIEVE SHE HAS STOOD UP FOR GAY RIGHTS FROM THE START? I have really grown to appreciate her experience and what she can bring to the table. She is someone who has learned a lot under the Obama presidency and would be an excellent choice to represent our interests.

WHAT DO YOU THINK A TRUMP PRESIDENCY WOULD LOOK LIKE FOR THE LGBT COMMUNITY? I don’t think a Trump presidency would renege the progress made in the last several years. However, a Trump presidency may very possibly represent a huge halt as far as rights go, especially transgender rights, which have made so much progress lately.

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO SOMEONE WHO IS ON THE FENCE? Consider the bigger impact. You may not be so pleased with either party. But voting third party, voting for Trump, or not voting at all will have a huge impact on the gay community. Whether it’s gay people of color, transgender people, anyone on the spectrum, think of the impact that your vote will have for all.

Whether you are on the fence or a full-fledged supporter like Alex, your vote is important. Read your blue book and consider the first potential female president as a good choice for the community. As a woman, she brings a marginalized perspective to the Oval Office and while yes, there are plenty of criticisms, I firmly believe she is a good choice and that she stands with the community. OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

// 3 1





1076 Ogden St, Denver (303) 860-8353

145 Broadway, Denver (303) 722-7977

1526 E. Colfax Ave, Denver (303) 484-8548

B OYZTOWN 117 Broadway St, Denver (303) 722-7373

B ROA DWAYS 1027 Broadway St, Denver (303) 623-0700 HAPPY HOUR MON - FRI 2–8p // SAT + SUN 12–8p // 2-4-1 Wells // $4 You-Call-Its // $3 Domestic Mini Pitchers MONDAY SIN NIGHT (Service Industry Night) // Download the [IndiCard] App & recieve happy hour prices All Night // 8p–2a TUESDAY DOLLAR DRINKS $1 wells // $1 Bud Light drafts // 8p–2a WEDNESDAY All Day Happy Hour FRIDAY - 9PM-2AM Weekend Kick-Off Dance Party // 9p–2a SATURDAY WERQ! Hottest Saturday night dance party w/ DJ TakeTwo // $3.50 Smirnoff Cocktails // 9p–2a SUNDAY BEER BASH $10 All-you-can-drink Bud Light & Mimosas // Lacey Fauxx Vanderpump hosts DJs Stone Cox & TakeTwo w/ Sexy GoGos by RuEntertainment // 4–8p

CHARLIE'S ® NIGHTCLUB 900 E. Colfax Ave, Denver (303) 839-8890

LIL’ DEVILS 255 South Broadway St, Denver (303) 733-1156

LIPSTICK NIGHTCLU B 5660 W Colfax Ave, Denver (720) 669-3470

M UPTOWN 700 E. 17 th Ave, Denver (303) 832-1333 MANIC MONDAYS Happy Hour All Day // Karaoke with Allison at 9p TUESDAYS: OUTRAGEOUS DRAG BINGO Hosted by Sasha Andrews & Jackie Summers // Balls drop at 9p // Free to play! WEDNESDAYS: DOLLS WITH BALLS BINGO Hosted by Alexandra Winters & Harley Quinn // Free! // Starts at 9p



. ST



































629 E. Colfax Ave, Denver (303) 832-2687



. ST








3090 Downing St, Denver (303) 837-1075

16 T





3 2 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6





BABES AROUND DENVER FIRST FRIDAYS Largest monthly women’s party in the US! Doors open at 6p // 21+

475 Santa Fe, Denver (720) 627-5905




1891 14 St #110, Denver (303) 586-4199 th


ELEVATED SATURDAYS 2-for-1 drinks 9–10p No cover before 10p




SUPERSTAR THURSDAYS 18+ dance party // Cover: 18–20 $10, 21+ $5 after 10p

SATURDAYS Shirts Off-Half Off!

3430 N. Academy Blvd, Colo. Springs (719) 570-1429


3500 Walnut St, Denver (303) 863-7326

FRIDAYS Neon Party


(303) 832-1333 M-UPTOWN.COM 700 E. 17 TH AVE. DENVER


DRAG NATION LAST FRIDAYS The nation’s best drag show with the hottest celebrity drag queens!

SUNDAYS 3-4-1 drinks 4–8p Kai Lee’s KiKi at 9p



THURSDAYS 2-4-1 drinks 7pm–CL

16th St. Mall @ Arapahoe, Denver (303) 293-0075


DAILY SPECIALS All Day $3 domestic mini-pitchers (32oz.) // 11a–7p $3 wells // $3 domestics // $4 u-calls













years writing about our failing healthcare system and researching those that do a better job in other countries. When ColoradoCare first introduced Amendment 69, I was overjoyed. I donated money. I offered to volunteer. Then I read the amendment. This is a big amendment with potentially big consequences. In a nutshell, it would get rid of all insurance companies in the state. Healthcare would then be totally funded by tax money. The thing is, we all pay for healthcare one way or the other, anyway. With universal care, costs are paid upfront. Instead of paying for insurance, we pay taxes that cover us all.

them offer universal care or some type of hybrid system (like Obamacare). The question is: Is Amendment 69 the plan that will do that for Coloradans?

How will bills get paid? Who will collect them? These are all detailed, specific questions we will not know the answers to unless and until we take the leap.

A lot of big claims are being made by both sides. Proponents say it will save healthcare costs. Opponents say it could bankrupt the state. Proponents say it will give us better healthcare for less money. Opponents say it will limit consumer choice and lower quality as many doctors, nurses, and specialists leave to practice elsewhere. Bottom line: We don’t know exactly what it will do. If enacted, we may not know many answers for many years.

My concern (and I think the concern of many other liberals having second thoughts about this amendment) is that it is an amendment — a Colorado constitutional amendment! That means that when we run into serious complications (and we will), our hands will be tied. We won’t have the flexibility needed to roll with the multitude of issues we will face. No other state has done this. Ever. There are a lot of unknowns.

Under our current system, we largely pay on the backend. In addition to paying insurance premiums, our tax dollars are also used to pay healthcare costs for people who can’t afford insurance or for healthcare that exceeds what insurance premiums cover.

What we do know that it will cost an estimated $25 billion dollars a year. That’s more than the yearly budget for the entire state of Colorado. It would be funded by increased taxes on workers and employers. If costs go beyond $25 billion, taxes could only be increased by taxpayers. At the same time, the amendment requires the legislature to fund it. If voters don’t agree to pay more taxes (as they often do), where will the money come from? My guess: cuts to other social programs, like education.

A study out of Harvard University finds high medical bills are consistently the number one reason Americans file for bankruptcy. Interestingly, most of these people have insurance. Many other countries have demonstrated that we can provide upfront, taxpayer-funded, quality healthcare for everyone. Of the 36 countries that rank higher than the US in quality of healthcare, nearly all of

Our entire healthcare system would be run by an as-yet-to-be-determined, 21-member healthcare board. Right now, we don’t know who will sit on that board or what type of decisions it will ultimately make. Will treatment options become limited if funds run low? Will doctors be forced to streamline care? What will the infrastructure needed to run such a massive plan look like?

A LOT OF BIG CLAIMS ARE BEING MADE BY BOTH SIDES. PROPONENTS SAY IT WILL SAVE HEALTHCARE COSTS. OPPONENTS SAY IT COULD BANKRUPT THE STATE. I still don’t know how I’m going to vote on this issue. My fears have me leaning toward a “no” vote. The potential consequences are too big. We may bankrupt the state and be forced to cut other programs to fund it. That scares me. At the same time, we may change the entire system for the better and serve as a pioneer for other states to follow. I just wish this plan was a law, an adjustable law, instead of an amendment that requires massive efforts to change. OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

Yvonne Wright


// 3 3


303-477-4000 [ CHILDREN’S SERVICES ]








303-761-7797 | Englewood • Castle Rock • Lakewood


$2 0

Bir thday o r Bathing Suit

bath entry


(303) 825-2995 • 3540 W COLFAX AVE. • DENVER 3 4 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6



Mortgage Banker PAID Trainee Program (8-12 weeks)

Training begins 10/31/2016

$19.23/HOUR STARTING SALARY //FULL BENEFITS AVAILABLE Medical, Dental, Vision, 401k+ match! Proud to be an Equal Opportunity Employer

Graduates become Loan Processors or Loan Originators



303-477-4000 [ LEGAL ]



fighting for the rights of Coloradans since 1977



INDIVIDUALIZED MASSAGE Michael Conti, BSPsy, LMT An integrative approach to wellness

$65/hour $85/90 minutes 13th and Marion 303-832-1499




// 3 5


Though he had made a name for himself by discriminating against blacks and Latinos in housing in the 1970s, attacking women for their physical appearances, and managing an inherited wealth built on unstable debt and unpaid bills to small businesses, I naively thought the honor of running for president would humble him. It did not, and his “othering” of Mexican immigrants as criminals and rapists would eventually help launch him to the Republican nomination. I am ashamed of him as an American, but I am also concerned about his candidacy as a Latino. Creating a group of “others” to help bolster political campaigns is not new in American politics. In 2004, gay Americans were painted as perverts, and a wave of Republicans were elected on the promise of enacting anti-marriage amendments and anti-equality legislation. In 1994 and 1996, conservatives (mostly Republican) were elected to Congress after painting poor people — especially in the black community — as lazy and looking to game the welfare system. Nativism and violent, anti-immigrant xenophobia specifically have a long history in the United States, going back to the 1798 Alien and Sedition Acts. Creating an “other” group has a winning track record in America, but I hope it fails in 2016. 3 6 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6

Moral argument aside, Donald Trump’s hate speech is factually wrong. For instance, undocumented immigrants are not moochers. In fact, they pay more than $134 million in state and local taxes in Colorado, according to the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy. Donald Trump is also wrong when he says Mexican immigrants are low-skilled criminals. Mexicans constitute the fourth-largest group of college-educated immigrants according to the Migration Policy Institute, and the Wall Street Journal reported that immigrants as a whole are more than twice as likely not to be incarcerated as American-born citizens. Still, a barrage of statistics can’t quite capture the human impact of Donald Trump’s racist rhetoric. Among the people Donald Trump has demonized while building his political career are millions of undocumented students and their families, including many of my friends. One is passionate about engineering and wanted to pursue a degree in the field at Mines. Though he was smarter and harder working than I was, he was essentially excluded from that school and from most financial aid and scholarships because he was here without documentation. Colorado needs people like him. The Atlantic reported that 70% of Colorado jobs require some postsecondary education yet less than a third of natives have a college degree. What sense does it make to have kicked

out a student like him? When Donald Trump says that Mexicans are criminals, or that Latino judges can’t be both Latino and good at their job, or that Latinos are sitting around waiting for him to bring us back jobs from Asia that don’t exist anymore, I think about one of my closest friends who graduated this past year from the University of Colorado. Mexican-born and Colorado-raised, he’s charismatic, ambitious, and entrepreneurial. A genuinely good person, he is aiming to be one of the 3.3 million Latinos who owns a business in the United States, wanting to create local jobs and a homegrown brand. In a state and country hungry for both jobs and tax revenue, he is exactly who we need to be attracting here.

CREATING A GROUP OF “OTHERS” TO HELP BOLSTER POLITICAL CAMPAIGNS IS NOT NEW IN AMERICAN POLITICS. As an American and as a Latino, I have a responsibility to use my vote to do what’s best for my country and for my community. That means rejecting Donald Trump’s racist policies and rhetoric, and voting for Hillary Clinton. I hope you’ll join me.

Joseph Soto



303-477-4000 [ MASSAGE ]




Large 1 bedroom units, $1000-$1400 Large 2 bedroom units, $1200-$1700 Balconies, dishwashers, parking garage, indoor pool, sauna, exercise room, and views!


303-830-1344 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• CHEESMAN PARK 1360 WILLIAMS STREET 1 bedroom units from $950 Rooftop deck, fireplaces, dishwashers. 303-830-1344






1402 RACE STREET 1 bedroom units from $950 303-668-5014 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• WASHINGTON PARK 960 S. LOGAN STREET 1 bedroom units from $925 2 bedroom units from $1200 720-205-0990 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• WASHINGTON PARK 10 S. PENNSYLVANIA ST. 1 bedroom units from $950 Rooftop deck, fireplaces, dishwashers. 720-205-0990 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• GOVERNOR’S PARK 899 WASHINGTON ST. 1 bedroom units from $950 Fireplaces, rooftop deck, dishwashers, fabulous remodel! 303-668-5014 Clean, Renovated and Friendly! Managed by Lloyd’s Apartments L.P.



Taking Care of You is My Top Priority! NICK BARRERA

M. 303-434-6471


Let Ryane Touch You.

Specializing in water color tattoos and geometric designs. HIV+ friendly tattooing.

3122 Larimer St.


813-240-9043 |  OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

// 3 7

BATTLE AT THE Laura ‘Pinky’ Reinsch says as she confidently walks up to a stranger’s home pulling on a cardigan on top of her jacket. “It’s starting to get a bit cold, and I’m going to be out here walking for a while.” Pinky wasn’t wrong; the weather is getting chillier by the day and comfort is key when trying to persuade people to show up on November 8 and vote. More specifically, vote for a local senate candidate who is an ally to the queer community and will fight for its equality in the Colorado Senate. It’s something that she and the team at One Colorado have committed thousands of hours to — a number that only grows as election day draws nearer. While it is exhausting work, it is a necessity to further progress queer rights in Colorado. One Colorado is the only organization in the state that gives a voice to LGBTIQ people at the State Capitol. They fight to pass bills that help the community, and fight legislation that would set us back, such as religious freedom bills or transgender bathroom bills. During election season, they campaign hard for candidates that will champion queer rights. While wearing the soles of her shoes out on one of the first autumn days, Pinky is walking alongside Jenise May, a Democrat running for Senate District 25. Senate District 25 is one of the tightest senate races this election year. Covering parts of Thornton, Aurora, Brighton City, and Commerce City, the district is home to nearly 49,000 households and more than 151,000 residents. There’s a larger population of 3 8 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6

women, 47 percent are white, 40 percent are Latino, and six percent are black, according to

married same-sex couples would not have to deal with the double burden of civil union and marriage laws in Colorado.

The current seat holder for district 25 is Mary Hodge, who has a 100percent record of supporting the queer community. After serving her two-term limit in the Senate, One Colorado is campaigning for Jenise to fill the empty seat.

Kevin Priola has a 25-percent record of helping queer Coloradans. Jenise May has pledged to vote in favor of the equality bills that died in the Senate last year.

In 2013, Jenise sat in the House representing State District 30. During her time there, she successfully passed bills that increased funding for kids to take college courses while still in high school (reducing the time they spend in college and costs), invested an additional $100 million into Colorado’s higher education system, capped tuition increases at six percent, and allowed community colleges to offer certain four-year degrees. Fighting to fill Hodge’s seat, Jenise is focusing on stricter gun reform, better schooling, and protecting women’s rights. Unsurprisingly, she is also a strong advocate for the queer community which makes her the perfect candidate for One Colorado to fight for. “You know, I’ve been with the community for more than 30 years,” Jenise says. “I have friends who are part of the LGBTIQ community, and I’ve always stood beside them. You have my word that I’ll be a champion for LGBTIQ people.” Her opponent, Republican Kevin Priola, has been in the state House since 2009. During that time, he has voted against banning conversion therapy, the Birth Certificate Modernization Act, and STI modernization. He did vote to pass Senate Bill 150, which modernized the law so that

The Senate race in District 25 is one of the two important Senate races that One Colorado is focusing on this election year. Although the organization has dished out more than $50,000 to candidates who are champions for queer rights, resources are limited and only the most important races get the full attention of the organization. “There’s a lot that goes into the decision of which districts we draw most of our attention to,” Pinky says. “We work with other organizations to conduct polling, what seats we need to fill to get a majority in both the House and Senate, and the history of how close races are in the past.” Senate District 26 is the other important race this year. Covering parts of Aurora, Centennial, Cherry Hills Village, Englewood, Greenwood Village, Littleton, and Sheridan, District 26 is currently represented by Democrat Linda Newell who has a 100-percent record on queer rights. When Linda snatched the seat in the Senate, it was shocking. The seat previously had been long held by the GOP, so the race to succeed her is expected to be a full-on battle royale. Vying for the seat is Democratic nominee Daniel Kagan and Republican nominee Nancy Doty. Kagan has proved to be a formidable candidate, holding off tough challenges in his last three elections.

Ryan Howe



Kagan, the former chair of the House Judiciary Committee, has a 100-percent rating on progressing queer issues — voting to pass the ban of conversion therapy, the Birth Certificate Modernization Act, STI modernization, and SB 150. “If there is one service I can provide in my lifetime, it would be to preserve and advocate for fragile and precious freedoms that, quite frankly, should be granted to every single person,” Kagan says. It’s a philosophy that his parents instilled in him. Survivors of the Holocaust, his parents began a romance in the ghetto of Kaunas, Lithuania. His parents shared that concentration camp with queer people. “This election is crucial,” he says. “We need to stand up and say, ‘We are watching you, and you will not get away with this.’ We may not get an opportunity like this again.” After the election season, One Colorado turns its attention to getting a number of queer bills passed. On the top of the list is the ban on conversion therapy. Conversion therapy includes a range of dangerous and discredited practices aimed at changing a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. These harmful practices are based on the false claim that being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer is a mental illness that should be cured. Unfortunately, many young people are coerced and subjected to these harmful practices, which put them at risk for depression, substance abuse, and suicide. Daniel Kagan and Jenise May both have pledged to support this ban. Kevin Priola voted against the ban, and Nancy Doty has not said whether she will support or oppose the bill. Another battle One Colorado has taken on is the Birth Certificate Modernization Bill. This bill will make the process less burdensome for transgender Coloradans to update the gender on their birth certificate by removing the requirement that a transgender Coloradan undergo surgery and then get a court order. It will also bring Colorado law in line with current federal policy for updating the gender on a passport or Social Security card. Transgender people whose birth certificates reflect their sex at birth — and not their current gender — risk being denied housing, employment opportunities, and the right to vote because of this discrepancy. Pinky’s sore feet and bruised confidence after being shut out, ignored, and stared at blankly all paid off as she walked up to a house with a ‘F*ck Trump’ sticker firmly planted on the rear window. The young man who opened the door might despise Trump, but didn’t know anything about the general election or where to even vote. After Pinky talked up Jenise and informed him of the voting process, he pledged his allegiance to Jenise. “This is why we do it,” Pinky explains. “Our goal is to be the voice of LGBTIQ Coloradans, and we can’t have that political power unless our community and our allies [gets] out and votes. That’s how we get stuff done. That’s how we make lives better for queer people in Colorado.” OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

// 3 9

CALENDAR The Denver area has already enjoyed brisk fall temperatures, so if you’re in a pumpkin spice mood, get your latte and sit down with this calendar. I have the lowdown on some of the hottest events going on in the Centennial State and how perfect is it to pair this column with your favorite drink, especially with a crispness in the air? Remember, if you have an upcoming event recommendation, e-mail me at j.m.halterman@gmail. com, or Tweet at me @ Mike_Halterman!

Mike Halterman

OCT 21

STRAIGHT NO CHASER The a cappella group Straight No Chaser, originally formed 20 years ago at Indiana University, quickly went viral with the help of YouTube and earned the group a five-record deal with Atlantic Records. Their fifth album, The New Old Fashioned, is available for purchase now and the group will be stopping on their New Old Fashioned Tour right here in Denver on Friday, October 21, playing the Paramount Theatre at 8pm. Tickets start at $34.50 and can be bought at

OCT 21-22


OCT 22


Andrew Litton conducts The Colorado Symphony in a unique staging of Puccini’s opera La Bohème in honor of La Bohème’s 120th anniversary. The Colorado Symphony will be joined by the Colorado Symphony Chorus and the Colorado Children’s Chorale. This is the first opera staging by the Symphony since Tosca in the 2014—15 season. You can see this production three different times: Friday, October 21 and Saturday, October 22 at 7:30pm, and Sunday, October 23 at 1pm at the Denver Performing Arts Complex’s Boettcher Concert Hall. Tickets range from $29–$89; visit for more information.



#WHATDIDICOMEINHEREFOR Now Playing through November 12 5501 Arapahoe Ave. • Boulder •

4 0 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6

SCREECHING WEASEL The band Screeching Weasel has endured in the punk rock music scene for 30 years, 13 albums, and four breakups. All the while, lead singer Ben Weasel has been the band’s constant, staying since the beginning. The band performs on their 30th anniversary tour on Saturday, October 22 at the Gothic Theatre in Englewood. Showtime is at 8pm. Also performing are bands The Dickies, Potato Pirates, and Three Dollar Knife Fights. Tickets are $25 per person. Go to for more information.

OCT 24


MARGO PRICE You may remember Margo Price as the musical guest on Saturday Night Live last April. She has been described as “country’s next star” and the Illinois native’s debut album, Midwest Farmer’s Daughter, has placed prominently on many Best of 2016 album lists. You’ll get your chance to hear her stylings in the Centennial State on Monday, October 24, when she plays the Bluebird Theater at 8pm. Tickets are $14.99 in advance and $18 at the door. Visit to learn more.

OCT 26



OCT 29

One of the defining voices of the 1960s, Joan Baez was more than just a singer/ songwriter — she was an activist who used her beautiful voice to change the world for the better. She spoke out (and many times sang out) for LGBT rights, women’s rights, the antiwar movement, and the environment. Denver audiences can spend an evening with one of America’s living treasures on Saturday, October 29 at the Paramount Theatre. Showtime is at 8pm. and you can secure your spot at the concert for just $49.95. Visit for ticket purchasing.

NOV 01


Jackie Summers, host and face of Dreamgirls, has a juicy, meaty night of drag entertaintment tucked away for y’all! Every Friday at 10pm, M Uptown features the best that Denver’s drag scene has to offer. Reservations are important so call beforehand for a seat!

TOOL + 3TEETH Grammy Award-winning band Tool has released four well-regarded multi-platinum albums, and vocalist Maynard James Keenan is regarded as a musical genius. The group embarked on a world tour at the beginning of this year, and now they have returned stateside to perform just for you! Enjoy their legendary rock/alt-metal sound for one night only: Wednesday, October 26 at the Pepsi Center. Showtime is at 8pm. 3TEETH will perform as the opening act. Tickets are priced beginning at $75. Buy them online at

IL DIVO One of Simon Cowell’s biggest successes as a record producer is discovering the group Il Divo, who have sold over 30 million albums in the last decade. Their current album partners them with producer Julio Reyes Copello for some sultry Latin torch songs. Hear them sing from their hearts and souls, en español, when they bring the Amor & Pasión Tour to Buell Theatre on Tuesday, November 1 at 7:30pm. Tickets are still available starting at $86.

OCT 28

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK It’s been 35 years since Raiders of the Lost Ark was released in theaters, and The Colorado Symphony is celebrating this special occasion with a full screening of this classic film, complete with a performance of John Williams’ score by the symphony under the direction of Christopher Dragon. Follow Indiana Jones into a world of adventure on Friday, October 28 at Denver Performing Arts Complex’s Boettcher Concert Hall. The movie starts promptly at 7:30pm! Tickets start at just $10 and can be bought by going online to OUTFRONTONLINE.COM

// 4 1





at the 39th Denver Film Festival

4 2 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6

Attend a Red Carpet Premiere


Admit it: You like to watch the red carpet coverage more than the actual award show. For 12 days in November, the Denver Film Society brings some glamour to Denver. Enjoy Opening Night of the Denver Film Festival in style, with an Opening Night Package. The package includes the Opening Night Film and dinner, plus parking at Larimer Square. For more information on how to purchase this package, visit

Join the Community

See something you’ve never seen before, and might not get a chance to see again. One of the best parts of any film festival is the access to films and filmmakers. Many of the films at the Denver Film Festival will only screen once and might not be available ondemand, so why not take the chance and experiment a little? The other great thing about the film festival is most films have in-person Q&As with the filmmakers. Getting that inside perspective on how a film is made, or what the director was thinking when they set out to make the film truly enhances the movie-going experience, and it’s rare you get that inside peek.

Not quite sure where to start? Head on over to the Festival AnneX at the newly renovated McNichols Building. The Festival AnneX is an innovative public space where you can experience new technologies (such as virtual reality!), participate in panels, take in some art, enjoy community happy hours, and more. The best part? All of these events are open to the public and the majority of them are free! It’s the perfect place to start your Festival experience.

If you are a fan of the Denver Film Society’s CinemaQ Film Festival, you’ll love Growing Up Coy, which plays at the Denver Film Festival. Directed by Eric Juhola, the film revolves around the Mathises, a Colorado family whose 4-year-old child self-identifies as a girl, though born a boy. When Coy is forced to use the boys’ bathroom at school, they’re spurred on to take legal action. This documentary follows their struggle all the way to the Supreme Court.

Programmer’s Picks

DENVER GAY & LESBIAN FLAG FOOTBALL The Denver Gay and Lesbian Flag Football League’s 2016 fall season is underway. OUT FRONT caught up with some of the action in Cranmer Park on October 2nd. Twenty teams have been fielded for the fall season. The championship game will be held at 1pm on October 22nd in Silverman Park. Photos by Charles Broshous


303.863.7770 | 925 LINCOLN STREET | DENVER



// 4 3




temperatures cool and days shorten. It’s the perfect season for reflection about your next event. Anyone can throw a potluck, but how do you plan for a memorable gathering, party, or even (gulp) wedding? OUT FRONT sat down with Jenna Johansen, the Innovation Chef at Epicurean Catering, to find out. To be clear, Jenna works for the largest catering company in the state, an institution that’s been around for so long they’ve catered weddings for multiple generations, and Jenna’s worked in the culinary industry for 23 years. She knows her stuff, so listen up.


4 4 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6


You want to party? Your first priority should be setting a location, date, and theme. “Weddings need a year out, and seasonal parties need at least a few months. If you want to book your clubhouse for a holiday, you’ll need to claim it in advance.” By nailing down the logistics, you can send out proper invitations. (“In one email!” she insists. “Second emails get deleted or misplaced.”) A theme sets the tone for your food, cocktail, decorations, and festivities. The right theme builds anticipation in your guests and allows them to choose appropriate clothing. However, “Make sure the theme fits the crowd.” Your coworkers might not appreciate all of your (ahem) personal interests.

EVENT CATERED by Epicurean at Sculpture Park, Denver



WHAT ARE THE LATEST PARTY TRENDS? JENNA GIVES US THE SCOOP BREAK UP THE BUFFET “Stations are becoming more popular, distributing a buffet throughout a room. I love putting together an Asian station with flaming sushi or dim sum bao buns.”


As you tackle the details of your party, remember to keep it simple. Pinterestfueled visions can become overambitious, so stick to a budget. For handmade decorations, be realistic. “Are you making 10? Fine,” Jenna says. “Are you making 100? Better leave it to the professionals.” Another thing to keep simple? Portion sizes. “It’s American of us to want to please people, but no one wants to walk away from a party full and uncomfortable. Think many flavors and small portions.” Next, put yourself in the place of your guests and imagine how they’ll experience your event: “Do they feel excited? Comfortable? Elegant and pretty? Because no one wants to feel messy when they’re eating in front of other people.” Here, you’ll need to account for food allergies and sensitivities. Also, plan ahead for guests who don’t drink alcohol, an easy-to-forget detail. Rather than Coke or water, Jenna suggests mocktails to keep guests hydrated. “People want to feel festive and celebratory, even if they’re not drinking. It also gives drinking guests another option and keeps the end of the party less sloppy which is more fun for everybody,” she laughs. “Maybe!” Finally, make sure you enjoy your party. “No one cares what they’re eating, if they don’t get to see you the entire time,” Jenna warns. To be present, prep your food or drinks in advance (more hot food=more kitchen time), or hire a caterer, cleaner, or bartender to share the work. “There’s a reason people rent plates and cutlery from a caterer. At the end of the night, you put the dirty stuff in a bin, and they pick it up.” If you are seeking innovative, delicious food for your next big event, consider Epicurean Catering. “Our focus is and always has been hospitality,” Jenna says, “We want people to remember the events they have and feel like they’ve been taken care of. We love to be a part of people’s most memorable events.”

EPICUREAN DISHES UP THE RECIPES like them on facebook and get all the tasty dishes to recreate yourself.

“Nobody visits Colorado for our Chicago dogs. Give your guests local beverages and flavors.”

HOST A BLONDE BAR “No wine, no sangria, nothing red. You don’t have to worry about spills.”

MAKE IT INTERACTIVE “Letting guests choose how their food comes out will elevate a good party to a great party. Try make-your-own s’mores or set out toppings for a Mongolian barbecue grill”


JUSTIFY MY PUDGE Kelsey Lindsey HUMANS HAVE DEVELOPED A NIFTY LITTLE WAY OF JUSTIFYING  pretty much anything, at least to themselves. See: Donald Trump. This self-saving way of thinking has worked for us, letting us twist bad news in our favor (“She didn’t call back because her phone is at the bottom of the ocean!”) and avoid embarrassment (“No one saw me trip and spill my entire burrito bowl!”). But sometimes, this way of thinking can have negative effects. Again, see: Donald Trump. A recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association lends some evidence to this argument, pointing its research at an almost ubiquitous device in America’s fitness circles — the fitness tracker. In the study, scientists took a group of 470 overweight or obese young adults and first started them on a low-calorie diet and encouraged them to increase their levels of physical activity. After six months, surprise! — they all lost weight. Then, they split the group into two, one group equipped with fitness trackers and one tasked with recording their physical activity every day on a website, each for 18 months. This is where the other (non-sarcastic) surprise comes in, according to the lead researcher, John Jakicic. While the fitness-tracker-toting group 4 6 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6

We humans have a funny way of sugarcoating terrible, terrible things. See: The GOP frontrunner. lost an average of eight pounds in the total two years, the selfrecording group beat them, losing an average of 13 pounds. Jakicic did note that the device used was dated by the time the full study was completed five years after launch. This could prompt more research into the newer devices on the market. But, as James Hamblin from the Atlantic points out, the bulky fitness trackers used in the study were probably more noticeable than the sleek wrist devices and phone apps used nowadays. If this mass of a thing on the volunteers’ biceps didn’t prompt them to work out, would a barely noticeable cuff help? While the exact cause of these effects aren’t known, Jakicic speculated to the New York Times that perhaps people were sinply focused too much on the technology and not so much on their diet, resulting in overeating. Hamblin also gave his hunch, theorizing that seeing the amount of steps each day helped people justify that second piece of cake in the evening. It all leads to the always-repeated advice that seems to end all articles reporting on weight loss (including this one, yay!): Be mindful of what you eat, and what goes into what you eat. Exercise is not the cure-all for a poor diet. And stop telling everyone you “need to get your steps in.” That’s just annoying.

Approachable meets Extraordinary An intimate jewel in Denver’s Washington Park

290 S Downing St, Denver |


// 4 7

O U T BAC K CLASSIFIEDS Envisioned by Boberto

Need help?

If you believe you’re a victim of a sex or hate crime, contact the Survivors Organizing for Liberation 24-hour statewide hotline at 1-888-557-4441

Advertise Here


DO IT WITH A LOC AL (303) 832-1333 M-UPTOWN.COM 700 E. 17 TH AVE. DENVER


4 8 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6


// 4 9



If both the presidential candidates showed up to a Cycle Sluts event, who do you think would enjoy it more?

Cookie: The most offensive one now is Trump.

Latexa: The Sluts would have more fun, simply

JackLynn: I once dressed as myself, only the other

because our sharp wit would be whipped into a frenzy of insults and innuendo. I’m getting all worked up now just thinking about it. I need a moment — excuse me.

Kay: What is this word, “offensive”? Such a relative

Zoey: The press! There would be so many soundbites and photos that one of us would be elected.

Cookie: The problem with politicians is that they would both act like they’re having a good time and smile, but we would have the greatest time because we’re the ones poking all the fun at them. Besides, they wouldn’t get half the humor.

JackLynn: I think our fans would have the best time … watching me do target practice! (Oh great. Now I’m on a list.)

Kay: That depends. Can we make them wrestle in bikinis in a giant tub of chocolate pudding filled with gummy worms?

Cherri: The audience, since we’ll some how become the first group presidents.

What’s the most “offensive” outfit you’ve worn (or seen) for Halloween? Latexa: Once I went as JonBenet Ramsey. I wore a babydoll dress that was all torn up and a piece of bloody bologna stuck to my thigh. It was the first Halloween after it had happened. (It may have been too soon now that I look back.) Oh, well.

Zoey: My humor is so dark that very little offends me. I just get bored with the repeats of costumes. Be original. 5 0 \\ O C T O B E R 1 9 , 2 0 1 6

However, none of the ones out there do that man’s horror any justice. “myself.” We didn’t like it. term. Halloween is all about being something different. Offend away.

Cherri: Nothing can offend you when you have Latexa as your drag mom. Well, maybe her “out of face” in the morning — or is that simply fear? Love you, mother dearest!

Have you ever lived in a place that was haunted? Latexa: But of course. I will only live in a place that is haunted by the spirits that refuse leave this plane of existence. You are never alone in a haunted house.

Zoey: Oh yes. It’s kinda fun to have a live-in voyeur.

Cookie: No, but I know how to speak to them, raise them, and vanquish them. Why — do you need help? “This house is clean.”

JackLynn: Pretty sure my grandma’s house was haunted by her mother. She was a witch, you know ... toiletries and trouble. (That was totally an autocorrect, but I’m keeping it.)

Kay: Yes, and I love my ghosties. It’s like having roommates so I am never alone. I just wish they would help with the rent.

Cherri: Once, I did. Ghost sex is the best sex and the best part is I still have my cherry.

October 19, 2016 :: Election 2016 & Other Creepy Stuff  
Read more
Read more
Similar to
Popular now
Just for you