October 18, 2017 :: Halloween Issue

O C TO B ER 18, 2017 | O U T FR O NT M AGA ZINE .CO M | F R E E

From Sacrifice to Stomachaches | The Blurred Reality of Horror Films

11 NOVEMBER

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CONTENTS OCTOBER 18, 2017 VOL41 NO20

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10 HALLOWEEN, SAMHAIN, AND LOVE 24 THE BLURRED REALITY OF HORROR FILMS 30

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I WEAR BLACK… 34 DITCHING COSTUMES FOR BODY ART 36

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LESBIANS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE: SAPPHIC VAMPIRE MOVIES TO USHER IN YOUR HALLOWEEN SEASON 45 HEINZESIGHT: THE MASKS WE WEAR

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SERVING THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY OF THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS SINCE 1976 PHONE 303-477-4000 FAX 303-325-2642 WEB OutFrontOnline.com FACEBOOK /OutFrontColorado TWITTER @OutFrontCO INSTAGRAM /OutFrontColorado FOUNDER PHIL PRICE 1954-1993 ADMINISTRATION info@outfrontonline.com JERRY CUNNINGHAM Publisher J.C. MCDONALD Vice President MAGGIE PHILLIPS Operations Manager JEFF JACKSON SWAIM Chief Strategist EDITORIAL editorial@outfrontonline.com RYAN HOWE Editor ADDISON HERRON-WHEELER Digital Content Manager BRENT HEINZE Senior Columnist SARAH FARBMAN Copy Editor SOPHIA ALESSI Intern ARIANNA BALDERAMMA Intern CONTRIBUTING WRITERS David-Elijah Nahmod, Mike Yost, Louisa Silverman, Paul Bindel, Lacy Bursick ART art@outfrontonline.com DESIGN2PRO Graphic Designer CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS Charles Broshous, Deirdre Fritz, Eric Magnusson MARKETING + SALES marketing@outfrontonline.com HARRISON SCHAFFER Director of Sales & Marketing SARAH JACOBSON Marketing Executive BRENNAN GALLAGHER Marketing Executive NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media 212-242-6863 | sales@rivendellmedia.com

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A Short Story by Mike Yost

“It’s out there. Waiting for me,” I say. The doctor only nods, lines of indifference carved across his forehead.

“It waits with an eternal patience that outlasts the formation of mountains.

The formation of the continents. The formation of the stars.”

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“A

nd what is it?” he asks, staring down through a pair of thick glasses at a clipboard, a pen incessantly scratching out words on white paper. Words about me that I’ll never read.

“I can’t describe it in words,” I say, shaking my head violently. The chirping of the florescent lights hurts my ears. “No one can. Words are a social construct.”

“Of course,” replies the doctor. “Can you tell me where out there really is? Where it is waiting?”

“Words are cultivated by the cultures that create them. A reflection of how we think and perceive.” I scratch at my hands, digging splintered fingernails into my palms. Flakes of skin drift silently onto the white, linoleum floor next to my naked feet. “The very act of thinking, in order to understand, veils the true reality scurrying just beneath the surface of our limited senses.”

“Fascinating,” The doctor says. The scraping of the pen gets louder. I shake my head again.

“That’s where it waits, doc.” The scratching stops. The doctor looks up for a brief moment, one of his brown eyes hovering just above the wire frame of his glasses. He doesn’t blink before checking his watch.

“Then how do you know what it is if you can’t describe it with words?” The doctor’s voice is flat, and I squint my eyes. The four white walls that surround us glow brighter. The buzz of the florescent lights claws at my ear drums.

“It’s not about trying to describe it,” I reply, rubbing my ear against my shoulder. “It’s about how I feel.” The loud tapping of the pen against the clipboard booms like a sledgehammer against my skull. I turn my head to the floor, ears ringing.

“And how does it make you feel?” he asks. I close my eyes to the bright light.

“Isolated. Vacuous. Something close to madness.”

“Something? Are the words failing you again?”

“Like it’s going to consume me from the inside out.” I lean in, pulling at the metal cuffs digging red rings into my wrists. “What is it to feel isolated, doc?

It isn’t anything physical. It’s something ethereal. Nebulous. Impacting my physical body. Leading to a paralysis of movement. Of thought. Of lucid thinking!”

“Volume,” the doctor says as he stands, buttoning his white coat. “Perhaps a change in medication is in order, yes?”

I yank at the cuffs around my ankles, trying to stand.

“You’re not listening, doc!”

“What if it’s too late?” The doctor whispers as he leans down.

“Wh . . .what?”

“What if the madness has already crept in?” The back of my neck begins to itch, and I pull against the cuffs to scratch it.

“You can feel it, right?” The doctor leans in closer, lightly scratching the back of my neck with his pen. “Like insects feasting beneath your skin.”

“Stop!”

“Maybe you’re just a cocoon as they scurry blindly under the surface, chewing their way out.” His breath is hot against my face. “Eating you alive.”

The doctor stands straight, the florescent lights flickering loudly behind his head.

“Or perhaps a change in medication is in order.” I dig my fingernails deeper into my palms, biting my knuckles as drops of warm blood splash onto the floor in explosions of crimson. The invisible insects scuttle beneath my shoulders and my arms and the doctor stares at me, eyes unblinking as I choke, unable to breathe as they claw their way up my throat.

There’s no one in my apartment to hear me scream myself awake, only the broken slats of the window blinds knocking into each other in the morning breeze.

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LEGAL DIRECTORY

DO YOU REALLY NEED A WILL? You have likely heard the advice about the importance of having a will. To help figure out if a will is right for you, here are five things to keep in mind: 1. WHO WILL GET YOUR STUFF? The most common and simple reason to make a will is to decide who will get your property. Without a will, state laws determine how your property will be distributed.

2. WHO WILL HANDLE THINGS? You can use a will to name an executor.

Someone you trust, that will take care of all your final affairs and wishes. Without a will, a court will appoint someone to do the job.

3. WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF THE KIDDOS? A will is the only place to designate a guardian to care for your children. Without a will, a court will decide who will be their caretaker. Moreover, if you leave property to children, the process must be managed

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by an adult, which should also be designed in a will.

4. WHAT ABOUT YOUR PETS? Use a will to name a trusted caretaker for your pet(s). You can also leave money to that person to help them with pet-care expenses. Using a will isn’t your only option, but it is surely the simplest.

5. WHAT’S YOUR BACKUP PLAN? Maybe you have a living trust or perhaps don’t have children or pets that need guardians. It’s still a good idea to have a backup will — a catch-all for any property that isn’t taken care of by a living trust or other estate planning instrument.

Not everyone needs a will, but having one isn’t a bad idea. Your best bet is to consult with an attorney to determine (if any) what your end-of-life planning options should include.

Remember, if you don’t declare your final wishes, the state will do it for you.

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The opinions expressed in this article are general in nature. For specific legal advice, please contact an attorney.

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Photos by Danielle Lirette Photography and McBoat Photography

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OCTOBER 26, 2017 6:00 IN THE EVENING Hyatt Regency Denver at Colorado Convention Center

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By Addison Herron-Wheeler

SAMHAIN, AND LOVE

H

alloween, All Hallow’s Eve, Samhain—the October 31 holiday goes by many names and means different things to different people. For some, it’s about partying with booze or dressing up and getting candy, and for others, it’s about family and providing a good time for the little ones.

But Halloween isn’t a casual holiday for everybody. For those who identify under the umbrella of Paganism, it is a religious holiday with special meaning, a meaning rooted deeply in love and acceptance.

“It’s kinda hard to not ‘celebrate’ Halloween, All Hallow’s Eve, Samhain, in some way, shape or fashion.” said Rabbit, a Denver local. “Samhain to me, well, it’s definitely a time to pause and to remember those in our lives that are no longer physically with us. It’s a time to honor those that have made the transition from this physical world to... whatever is out there. I honor and I celebrate the turning of the wheel. Halloween is often referred to as the Witches’ New Year.”

In addition to celebrating the sacred Wiccan holiday, Rabbit tries to immerse himself in the faith year-round. He feels accepted by his community and loves how it celebrates gender, sexuality, and identity.

“Actually, as a gay man, there are times where being Wiccanidentified fits in perfectly—because of the duality of honoring, respecting, and acknowledging both masculine and feminine energies. Both worlds embrace concepts of empowerment, individuality, and the respect for and honoring of others.”

Unlike some religions, which try to lay out prescribed social rules for sex and love, Pagan religions strive to embrace love in all its forms.

“I have found the Pagan religions I am most familiar with to be very accepting of differences,” explained Catherine, who identifies as Wiccan. “As Doreen Valiente, author of The Charge of the Goddess famously wrote, ‘All acts of love and pleasure are my rituals.’”

Catherine found Wicca shortly after finishing college in the late 1 0 \\ O C T O B E R 1 8 , 2 0 1 7

‘80s, while doing research for a role in theatre.

“I was a cast member at the Renaissance Festival, playing the village wise woman,” she explained. “To research the role, I found some books on herbalism, including a book by Scott Cunningham called Magickal Herbalism. The spirituality described by Cunningham resonated with me, so I found another book by him: The Truth About Witchcraft Today. From there, I continued to read until I met other local people interested in the same things.

I studied with a friend until he moved out of state and then continued on my own until I joined a coven. Also during this time, I started attending Hearthstone Community Church, eventually becoming a member of the Board.”

Much like Rabbit, Catherine doesn’t see any issue with nonPagan or -Wiccan people celebrating Halloween in the sense that most know it.

“Why on earth would I?” she asked. “All Hallow’s Eve is a Christian holiday; Samhain is a Pagan holiday, and Halloween is a secular holiday. There is no reason that people can’t celebrate Halloween or the religious holiday of their choice.

“I celebrate Samhain, which is one of the eight Sabbats of the year,” she added. “The Sabbats are essentially six weeks apart and mark the parts of the year as it goes around. Samhain is the final harvest of the year: the time when the last bits of grain, the last fruits, anything that might be needed for the winter are gathered and stored. It’s also a time when the veils between the worlds are thinnest. We remember those who have passed before: our ancestors, loves, and anyone else we may have lost. We celebrate their lives and what they added to our lives, which adds light to the darkest time of the year.”

Although All Hallow’s Eve and Samhain may not be celebrated by all of us, not even all of us who consider ourselves “witchy” or embrace the ritual of Halloween, there is an unspoken power in a holiday that appears on the surface to be about nothing but fun and hedonism. Much like the queer community, beneath the parties, kink, and fierce self-expression, there is love, acceptance, and the honoring of those who came before us.

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From Sacrifice to Stomachaches: The Evolution of Halloween

By Arianna Balderrama

T

he holiday of overpriced candy and stomachaches is coming soon, y’all.

Halloween, like many holidays, carry bits of ancient traditions from past celebration. Now listen, knowing the history of modern celebrations might serve you well on game shows or turning your Twitter handle into something spooky.

Halloween originated from a Celtic festival called Samhain. The customs of wearing costumes and the occasional bonfire remained relevant to the October holiday. The Celtics believed the inauguration of the dark, during November first, was a time when the worlds of the living and dead would blend together. Costumes were used to ward off or frighten the spirits away and food was left outside a person’s doorstep to keep the spirits occupied.

It was believed the dead would tamper with the crops, so people tried their best to prevent such mischief.

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Now, instead of dressing for a purpose, adults appropriate cultures for Halloween and teens like to slutify public servant jobs. Millennials enjoy spending their hard earned cash on candy.

The use of the bonfire was directed towards Celtic priests, or Druids. Because the people during this time relied on the natural world, predictions about the future offered a sense of comfort. Druids burned crops and sacrificed animals around the fire like livestock or middle schoolers. Their predictions about how the harsh winter would treat them were initiated as the fire burned.

The name of Halloween originated when the Roman Empire conquered the Celtic lands. The Roman Popes overlapped Samhain with All Saint’s Day, or All Hallow’s Eve. All Saint’s Day and Samhain are celebrated similarly, if not the same. All Hallow’s Eve soon became as we know it today, Halloween.

Once Halloween made it’s way to America, it was celebrated with stories about the dead, fortune telling, and now hangovers and smudged clown makeup. That is how the Celtic holiday was tokened its undertones of spook.

It wasn’t until around 1846 when Halloween began gaining popularity during the Ireland potato famine.

While the holiday was becoming a popular blowout, Halloween began shifting attention to younger audiences.

It was agreed that parents, and the community, should convert to making the holiday safe for kids. Over the twentieth century, the ancient holiday had lost most, if not all, of it’s creepy intentions.

Because of booger-filled, greedy children, the fun of animal sacrifices and a night of actual terror was killed.

As much as we’d like to bring back the practice of human sacrifice, we’ll just give them candy instead.

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The modernization of trick or treating was developed in Medieval Britain.

It was called Souling. Souling usually happened on the day of All Soul’s Days when the needy would ask for Soul Cakes. The tradition soon developed into a custom for Halloween.

Trick or treating grew in recognition in America, but it was focused on the tricks rather than the treats. For Halloween to fit into a child-friendly environment, the tricks lost their popularity.

Slowly but surely the sweets given to us morphed into pretzels or toothbrushes instead of toothaches and candy bars.

Our long walks to the rich neighborhoods are becoming pointless.

The history and altering of Halloween has caused it become a commercial holiday. Every year, the country gains 2.2 billion dollars in profits from products in correlation to the celebration.

Halloween has become one of the most anticipated holidays in Western culture and soon the waiting will pay off... for kids of course, not people with a carton of eggs and rolls of toilet paper.

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Denver’s Haunted

by Denny Patterson

W

His to ry

ithout a doubt, Denver is one of the most beautiful cities in the nation. With spectacular mountain views and numerous attractions, the Mile High City constantly exceeds expectations. However, Denver does come with its fair share of oddities and curiosities.

Halloween is here, and it’s sending ghost hunters and paranormal experts into a frenzy of work as they explore notorious haunted locations. Trust us, Denver has plenty. With a rich history and varied past, this city has more than 150 years of legends and stories. Paranormal activity was bound to occur. From phantom footsteps to translucent apparitions, Denver is a supernatural paradise that will send shivers down your spine.

Listed below are some of Denver’s most popular, and creepiest, haunted landmarks. Check them out, and perhaps pay a visit— if you dare. The unknown awaits.

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The Buckhorn Exchange The Buckhorn Exchange is Denver’s oldest restaurant.

Originally opened as a fur-trading post back in 1893, this establishment has catered to cowboys, miners, railroad builders, and countless others that came out west. Even President Teddy Roosevelt enjoyed some time at the Exchange in 1905.

Today, it is said that the spirits of the many traders, miners, and cowboys who died nearby have made the Buckhorn Exchange their haunted home. Patrons and employees have reported hearing disembodied voices and footsteps echo throughout the building. Some have even seen tables and chairs moving on their own.

Capitol Hill Capitol Hill was once home to Denver’s wealthiest citizens.

Some of the original residents never left. Contemporary apartment complexes and condos surround some of the old remaining mansions, and the prior inhabitants let the new residents know that they are still around and have no intention of leaving. It is also said that many ghosts dwell within the office buildings in Cap Hill, including the Governor’s Mansion and the State Capitol.

Some witnesses have said that a phantom named Henry lurks in the tunnels beneath the Capitol, guarding a secret stash of cash, and visitors can hear disembodied voices and the hooves of ghostly horses on the top floor. There have also been reports of spirits wandering about the streets and Cheesman Park.

Cheesman Park Yes, Cheesman Park may be a gorgeous place to visit, but did you know that it was once a cemetery? Founded as Prospect Hill Cemetery in 1858, this area was the final resting place primarily for the poor, diseased, and outlaws. By the late 1880s, there were more cemeteries around town, and the use of Prospect Hill was on the decline. Colorado Senator Henry Moore Teller persuaded the U.S. Congress to allow the cemetery to be converted to a park. Families were given 90 days to remove the bodies of their loved ones to different locations.

However, more than 5,000 bodies were unclaimed.

When work began to convert the graveyard, the unclaimed bodies were moved hastily. Body parts and bones were literally strewn everywhere in a disorganized mess. Over the years, as more of the park was constructed, more bodies were moved.

It is estimated that at least 2,000 bodies remain—and they are the ones who haunt the place.

People living near the park have reported seeing ghosts that look sad and confused. Some report hearing whispering and moaning, while others say they feel an overall sense of dread and sadness. Some visitors claim to have great difficulty getting up after lying on the grass, as though unseen forces are keeping them down, and the outlines of the old graves can allegedly be seen on moonlit nights.

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Croke-Patterson Mansion

Fairmount Cemetery

The Croke-Patterson Mansion is said to be the most haunted mansion in Denver. Originally built in 1890 by Thomas Croke, apparently he entered the home only once and vowed never to return. Two years later, the home was sold to Thomas Patterson, publisher of the Rocky Mountain News. However, odd things continued to occur throughout the years.

Fairmount Cemetery is one of the most well-known cemeteries in the Denver area. Founded in 1890, it has garnered a reputation among local ghost hunters as one of the most paranormally active locations around. This is partially due to the fact that it became the new home for many of the disinterred bodies discovered at Cheesman Park.

A pair of Doberman Pinschers were left alone overnight in the house. The next morning, both dogs were found dead on the sidewalk, having jumped out of the third story window.

What caused this? No one knows.

This legendary haunt has witnessed several paranormalinvestigation teams scoping out the cemetery, praying to capture ghostly evidence. Unfortunately, many teams come back with malfunctioning equipment and drained batteries, erasing all photos and recordings.

It has been said that the body of a little girl is buried in the cellar. An excavation of the cellar was conducted, but no body was recovered. However, a hidden chamber was discovered.

There have been reports of a child figure sliding up and down the stairway, phantom footsteps, and disembodied voices.

Visitors to the mansion have also reported seeing the ghosts of Thomas and his wife Kate in the courtyard.

Denver Children’s Home When the Denver Children’s Home first opened in the 1880s, it was known as the Denver Orphan’s Home and served orphans brought to Colorado to build railroads and work in the mines.

Unfortunately, a fire broke out in 1888, killing many children on the third floor.

The home was rebuilt and continues to help Denver’s youth today, providing youth services, counseling, and housing.

But, some of the children who died in the 1888 fire never moved out. Today’s staff and children see these spirits playing, crying, or whimpering on a regular basis.

Oh yeah, and there is one spirit that haunts the Denver Children’s Home that tends to raise some eyebrows: a bride.

She can be seen wearing a wedding gown and floating down the stairs and across the second floor hallway.

Denver International Airport The Denver International Airport is one of the busiest airports in the country. Day in and day out, countless activity and energy passes through. It is impossible to tell what may be lurking in the corner as we rush from terminal to terminal.

DIA encountered several issues in the beginning. From financial to technical problems, it was hard to tell if the airport was ever going to be complete. Could this be general bad luck, or was there some force that did not want the land to be occupied? Visitors, passengers, and employees have reported experiencing unusual activity such as hearing phantom footsteps and whispers. Many say they feel uneasy. What can we attribute this phenomenon to?

Perhaps it’s the fact that the airport sits on a sacred ground belonging to Native American tribes.

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There have been reports of phantom vehicles, mysterious floating lights, and the occasional shove by a pair of unseen hands. Even if you do not encounter a ghost, Fairmount Cemetery is worth a visit. The stunning architecture and location are reason enough.

Molly Brown House Museum Most people have heard of the “Unsinkable” Molly Brown: she was a well-known survivor of the Titanic tragedy, and Kathy Bates did a phenomenal portrayal of her in the James Cameron film. However, many do not know that she lived in Denver with her husband J.J. Brown in a three-story Victorian mansion. The home eventually became a tribute to Molly and her husband as the Molly Brown House Museum.

Yet, did Molly and J.J. leave the property after they died? It has been reported by several employees that the smell of fresh cigar smoke lingers in the air even though the museum is smoke-free. Piano keys have played without anyone touching the piano, and many visitors to the house have said they have seen dark, shadowy figures move around the house.

Red Rocks Park and Amphitheatre The Red Rocks Amphitheatre is an iconic landmark in the foothills. From hosting memorable concerts to adventurous hiking paths, this is one of the most universally loved places, not only around Denver, but in the state. However, some say the area has a haunted history.

The most common story is people seeing an old, haggardlooking man standing on the “restricted” side of the railings drinking from an antique whiskey bottle. White beard, about 5’5,’’ and wearing a dirty brownish hat, this old man is believed to be from Colorado’s mining era. He is only seen for a few seconds, then disappears.

Concert-goers have also reported seeing a headless woman holding a bloody hatchet and riding a horse. What exactly is she doing? It is said that her intent is to stop mischief and illicit romances that may be taking place on the grounds.

Perhaps Red Rocks is not the best spot for a first date.

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By Chris Arneson

Local Theatre Troupe Offers Horror, Interaction, & Local Writers T

here’s a theatre company in town hoping to go viral...but in a plague kinda way.

Pandemic Collective, a performance group that specializes in horror theatre, launches its fourth season this October. Working with local writers to premiere original work, Pandemic is promising their most terrifying season ever.

“A lot of the artists we find are writers who don’t really have the opportunity to write,” explained Rhea Amos, the company’s founding artistic director. Amos has written and directed a few of the company’s shows, including its inaugural production, Blood Bath, the story of Erzabet Bathory, a prolific serial killer who bathed in the blood of her victims as a beauty ritual.

“Even to this day, horror is a pretty unexplored theatre genre,” Amos said.

“There are some classics, but in terms of new work, there’s not a lot available.”

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Pandemic aims to make its shows avantgarde, provocative, and cutting edge.

But like any other new theatre company, Pandemic hasn’t always had a following.

“Truly, [early crowds were] sparse, because the whole nature of Pandemic is, and has always been, utilizing and empowering off-the-beatenpath types of artists and work,” Amos reminisced.

“As we continue, we’ve been building a following of audience members and horror enthusiasts that don’t necessarily identify as theatregoers but do come to our offerings, which is something I never anticipated.”

Pandemic’s first season was primarily gothic, historical horror.

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As the company evolved, Amos said they began to experiment with interactive pieces. Past productions include the legend of London’s first public gallows, a rock circus masquerade with a suicide-awareness platform, and a showcase of plays once performed at a Victorian theatre in Paris that specialized in stylized, shocking, and gory horror theatre.

“We’ve edged out quite a bit,” Amos said. “I think the way we started was maybe a little tamer, a little more romantic. Now we’re a little more blood-curdling screams and making messes, starting fires. We are much grittier now.”

Pandemic frequently collaborates with local artists to enhance its productions. Comic book artist Shane Rodriguez provided projected scenic art for Room 104. Sand artist Alex Polzin screened live sand drawings onto a cloth backdrop during Tyburn: Deadly Nevergreen, changing scenery by drawing in the sand. Bands Teacup Gorilla and Odyle provided music for Pandemic’s production of Grand Guignol.

“Whenever I find an artist I love, I find a way to factor them in,” Amos said.

A majority of Pandemic’s shows have been featured at the Bakery, a warehouse space in downtown Denver’s ballpark neighborhood. In fact, Blood Bath was the first play ever performed in that space, inspiring Amos to build a theatre company around a horror genre.

In May 2016, Pandemic presented K: The Rise and Fall of the New York Club Kids, its first venture into immersive theatre. The site-specific experience was held at the dance club Milk, where attendees could drink and dance while the show happened around them. Utilizing the club’s several rooms, audiences experienced events surrounding the 1996 murder of Club Kid Andre “Angel” Melendez, largely based on the film Party Monster.

Amos said Pandemic’s exploration of immersive theatre was inspired by the kind of experience you’d get from a haunted house.

“There’s something about going into this dramatic scenario and knowing you’re in a show, but when it’s all around you, your reality becomes this performance,” she explained.

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Cadence (Oct 19-28) – Part documentarystyle film, part live play, this show pieces together the details of a teen’s demonic possession and disappearance in the wake of an unsolved murder spree.

Life or Death (December 7-23) – This is the story of four characters trapped in a terrifying struggle for survival on Christmas Eve Yurei (April 5-21, 2018) – Based on the Japanese mythology behind “Tomino’s Hell,” a deadly poem whose words must never be spoken aloud, this show features a newlywed who discovers a piece of parchment in a mirror that causes a spirit to haunt her.

Yet A(nother) Night of Grand Guignol (June 14-30, 2018) – This show revisits French horror theatre — high in melodramatic style, steeped in gore.

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Artistic company member Dakota Hill became involved with Pandemic after being cast in K. “It was such an incredible experience, and I felt like I had found kindred spirits,” Hill gushed. He has also written and directed shows for the company.

Their latest immersive show was held this past February. At A V-Day Massacre, a whodunit set at a cocktail party, attendees could interview actors and explore the space in order to find motives and clues to the mysterious death of a party guest.

Throughout the show, audience-members discussed as a group and voted to help determine the killer.

Even Pandemic’s recent season release party was immersive.

Set at Syntax Physic Opera on South Broadway, it centered around the story of territorial governor John Evans, who instigated the Sand Creek Massacre.

“What I think draws in our audiences is the simple fact that we’re consistently mounting original works that are unlike anything you see in the local theatre scene,” Hill said.

Hill wrote Pandemic’s upcoming December show Life or Death, which examines a human’s base animal instincts when faced with a life-threatening situation. He says his show is about what it means to be human, what it means to look within yourself and reconcile with the darkest part of who you are, and what it means to be afraid.

“I think people yearn for new experience in the arts, and theatre is no exception, of course,” Hill claimed. “I think all

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of us really have an understanding that the horror genre is a constant meditation of themes of grief and loss as well as survival and overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles.”

After a few years of mainly performing at the Bakery, Pandemic is moving to its own space in 2018. The location, just north of Sloan’s Lake at 29th Street and Sheridan, will also be host to another theatrical project, Feral Assembly. There, the companies will be able to explore with more creative freedom, as the black box space will be built to their specifications.

Hill says what makes Pandemic unique is how the company collectively appreciates the genre for what it can say about the world, and for how theatre can act as a mirror, forcing us to examine our world from a different perspective. While he understands some see the horror genre as a way of getting cheap thrills, Hill sees something deeper to offer.

Pandemic also plans to offer an educational platform, where artists can learn to incorporate modern methods of performance they might not encounter in traditional classes.

Amos would eventually like to provide her own insight on producing plays, ensuring more companies like Pandemic continue to thrive in Denver.

This season will offer a $20 subscription package, which provides subscribers with a code for $5 off six ticket purchases as well as gifts, treats, and special invites to additional Pandemic events along the way.

For more info on Pandemic Collective and to purchase tickets or a subscription, visit PandemicCollective.org.

A raucous 360° musical set in the Roaring Twenties MUST CLOSE OCT 31

PERFORMANCES SELLING OUT

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The Wild Party Music and Lyrics by Michael John LaChiusa Book by Michael John LaChiusa and George C. Wolfe Based on the poem by Joseph Moncure March Directed by Amanda Berg Wilson SUPPORT PROVIDED BY

(clockwise from top) Emily Van Fleet, Laurence Curry, Drew Horwitz and Sheryl McCallum. Photos by Adams VisCom

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By Rick Kitzman

1958, and I was five.

My brother had taken me to see The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.

It was then that I became obsessed with getting spooked — and handsome heroes. But much as I’m obsessed with it, I hate getting spooked. My ambivalence stems from the conflicting combination of a simulated adrenaline rush and the sensation of being the captivated voyeur: every serrated slash or monster munch is vividly imagined and viscerally felt.

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Since Gilgamesh — the earliest surviving script considered literature written in Mesopotamia around 2100 BCE — humanity has conjured heroes and heroines to kill its monsters and conquer an evil and hostile environment, qualities that still linger today.

stand staring at the blue sky, towering cliffs, and a black cave when a gigantic dragon and a colossal, doglegged Cyclops wrestling in a macabre death dance start tipping over on top of me, until... Sinbad sweeps me to safety.

Watching horror movies, we exercise our primordial lizard brains — the instinct to fight, flee, or freeze — triggering hardwon survival skills, making us feel alive, and giving us a stimulating break from a modern, mundane life.

That was my first nightmare. It was

And that is where horror hides.

After Sinbad came the zombie/cannibal classic Night of the Living Dead (1968). My buddy’s dad drove us to the Kar-Vu Drive-In, and while my buddy laughed with glee, I puked with disgust. I can still see a little girl eating her mother’s entrails. Even though zombies are fictional, I’d lost a piece of innocence. The undead arose from atomic radiation, and in 1968, nuclear war was a card to play in the Cold War. For decades, that apocalyptic scenario seemed averted; today, two knuckleheads with bad haircuts raise the no-win specter again.

Even in the relative safety of our 21st century homes, we’re not unlike the hominids cowering in a cave in the opening act of Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: Space Odyssey (1968). That ancestral tribe — individuals dependent on the group for survival — rarely exists today. We are civilized, self-reliant, insulated from community, while still at the mercy of place and time. Horror can be found on vacation, at work, school, the movies, or a nightclub.

It’s a wonder we ever leave home, ironically a very dangerous setting for horror. Demons and humans and ghosts pervert the home, transforming it from a safe haven into a haunted house.

After watching Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the basement became the setting for my own childhood horror when Mom requested, “Get some hamburger.” Shadows cast by a bare bulb. Chthonic mutants lurking, awakening, nipping at my heels as I scampered up the steps two at a time, leaving the hamburger behind.

But horror has a way of making you feel unsafe almost anywhere.

Steven Spielberg scared teenagers out of the ocean with Jaws (1975), while Ridley Scott turned the vast and infinite universe into a thing of nightmares when he transformed a spaceship into a haunted house in Alien (1979). I first saw Sigourney Weaver battle her way through space in New York at one of the last massive movie palaces in Times Square, sitting alone in the balcony, smoking a joint — big mistake. Was there ever a more sublime, sanguinary, toothy beast created? Perhaps the evolutionary inheritor of the velociraptor in Jurassic Park (1993), where even private educational amusement park trips are transformed into a place of pure fear.

Or maybe in the indie film Teeth (2007), in which a young woman develops “vagina dentata.” Figure it out. I’m clenching just thinking about it, and I’m a perfect Kinsey 6. Are even our sexual desires not a safe place to hide anymore?

Answer... No. Take a peek at the torture porn genre, where they rely on beautiful people being torn apart in gruesome, horrifying ways. But what makes viewing amputations in the Hostel or Saw series different from Stronger (2017), about a Boston Marathon bombing hero? The thrill of temptation? Dipping one’s toe into immoral indulgences without plunging into the abyss?

I dipped once visiting the Museum of Torture in Sienna, Italy, artifacts courtesy of the Catholic Church’s clever engineers.

I left quickly, nauseated by what I had seen. The stench of centuries-old death permeated the rooms, and a miasma of

By the time I saw Aliens (1986), starring the xenomorph’s queen mother gurgling her hisses and splaying wings like an art nouveau brooch, I was viewing the extraterrestrial as a metaphor for the horrors of the AIDS plague: the body as host, undetectably impregnated by an unknown microbe, erupting in deadly, hideous abnormalities. souls seemed to cling to their objects of unspeakable pain and horror.

But speak about pain and horror we do. We gawk, gasp, and gossip as we drive past a highway accident without slowing down. It’s not dented steel and shattered glass we hope to see.

At the movies we can suspend our disbelief. Which is why I never see devil movies. I can’t suspend my belief in evil.

Who needs vicarious horrors when real horrors are plentiful?

Decimated landscapes by Hurricanes Harvey and Irma looked exactly like War of the Worlds (2005), in which people are dethroned by aliens. The movie’s displaced population reminded me of the Syrian diaspora.

The idiot/genius in The Lawnmower Man (1992) disperses his enemies, scattering their molecules. Imagine the horror of your body disappearing, weakening until immobile, while your brain functions acutely. Or the antithesis, aware your mind is disappearing, reality fading, while your body functions healthily. A friend of mine died from ALS, and another suffers from Alzheimer’s.

The torch-carrying villagers in Frankenstein (1931), hellbent on killing the creature, may be laughable today, yet in August, torch-carrying neo-Nazi vigilantes, hell-bent on killing diversity, marched in Charlottesville.

And it’s the disturbing movies with a twist ending that freak me out the most: The Innocents (1961), Don’t Look Now (1973), The Vanishing (1988, the Dutch original), Frailty (2001). No demons, aliens, or monsters. Just people. Everyone spends a lifetime trying to solve that greatest of mysteries. Maybe a part of everyone is the demon, alien, monster, for who’s more savage than man?

I’m still hooked on getting spooked and hunky heroes.

Summer’s Alien: Covenant was better than expected; The Mummy was crap. And the Sinbad of my first nightmare, Kerwin Mathews? In 2007 at the age of 81, he died in San Francisco, survived by his partner of 46 years, Tom Nicoll.

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DENVER ZOMBIE CRAWL

The 12th Annual Denver Zombie Crawl was held in Skyline Park on October 7. The zombie apocalypse took over the 16th Street Mall as thousands of undead searched for fresh brains, warm intestines, and cold beer. The event, hosted

by GetScared.com and Eye Heart Brains, featured a DJ, vendors, makeup booths, a costume contest, and a “Thriller� dance.

Photos by Charles Broshous

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BEARS, BIKES, AND BEER

Team Colorado AIDS Lifecycle hosted Beer Bust at the Denver Wrangler on October 8. A capacity crowd took advantage of the warm weather to enjoy all-they-could-drink Coors Light and Killian’s Irish Red. Coors Light also gave away a 55” LCD television set to one lucky patron. The weekly charity proceeds will help Team Colorado ALC purchase new biking jerseys. Beer Bust is held at the Wrangler every Sunday afternoon from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Photos by Charles Broshous

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I Wear

Ru Johnson Ru Johnson of Roux Black Consulting is no stranger to embracing the darker side of life. She wears dark colors as a way to embrace her own blackness and confront stereotypes about it head-on, and also as a way to use her own witchy womanliness to her advantage.

Black…

By Addison Herron-Wheeler

“Black clothing has this connotation of power around it,” she explained “It allows you to exist in spaces where you can use black as a power color, but for me it’s almost like a blank canvas. It allows me to exist in whatever ways I am feeling at the time. I wear a lot of black clothing; most of my clothing is black, and that’s because I can turn on my black style and base it on how I feel. It’s kind of like the idea of a witch’s glamour; I can blend in or be the most noticeable person in the room. I can exist in multiple spaces in my clothing.”

Johnson also believes that black is a color that should be used to highlight curves, rather than hide them.

“...I’d love to wear a rainbow every day, And tell the world that everything’s OK, But I’ll try to carry off a little darkness on my back, ‘Till things are brighter, I’m the Man In Black” – Johnny Cash

O

ur society fetishizes the color black, whether it is painting those with black skin as dangerous and brutal, or discussing the glamour of “witchy” black clothing and goth fashion. But for many, there is more to wearing black than looking badass or teenage rebellion. We met up with a couple of Denver’s boldest wearers of the absence of color to discuss why they choose to dress in darkness.

“As a voluptuous black woman, a woman of size, a big black woman, there is always this idea that people think a woman of my size would wear black clothing to hide, not to extenuate my size, and that’s not the case with me,” she said. “It accentuates my curves, my size. On a fashion level people have said a lot of things, like ‘women of size wear black because they are trying to hide or because it slims you,’ but I wear it to accentuate the idea of taking up space. When you see me it is almost an emphasis on what my body does and the length and width I have, how I am able to embrace my space wherever I am. I’m not just wearing black sweatpants.”

“Jay-Z talks about ‘I might wear black for a year straight—the beginning but also the end—he also said that black is no longer the reverse of something but it’s also the thing itself, so when I say ‘all black everything forever’, it’s about the clothing but also about the state of mind,” she added. “You’re going to take me seriously, or you might get my playfulness, but that goes into my style. I don’t claim to be a fashionista, but it’s the energy you put into it, and I love being able to shake that energy.”

Sur Ellz AKA Khalil Arcady Local, queer R&B singer Sur Ellz is also known for wearing dark colors, and they make him feel strong and untouchable, hidden and safe.

“When I think about wearing black as a young black man, I think about the Black Panther movement, and I think about ‘black is

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beautiful,’” he said. “There are so many different types of black when it comes to people, but no matter what I might be mixed with, the president still sees me as a black man; Sharon down the street still sees me as a black man. From a political standpoint, when you think about the Black Panther movement, there were some negative connotations associated with it; they were all in black; they all have this ominous association, when in reality they were the kindest people, the sweetest people, trying to show that they aren’t afraid to fight for what is right, to fight for equality, and their uniforms were all black. In that same regard, I like to fight my fight wearing all black.”

He also recognizes the modern cultural associations that the color black has, and embraces them, as well as the hidden, subtle power that the color has.

“I started dressing in black periodically in middle school,” he explained. “In the beginning, it was a way for me to express my depression, because I had a lot of stuff going on, a rough family life, and I was always the new kid. It was easier for me to hide in black because, as weird as it sounds, it makes me feel safe. It makes me feel untouchable; it makes me feel mysterious and a bit ominous.”

Emma Windsor Emma Windsor grew up in the South, surrounded by preppiness and pastels.

As someone who has always been drawn to deep, dark colors and sounds, Windsor embraces black as a part of her aesthetic and wardrobe every day.

“Since I grew up in the South, everyone wears pink or blue,” she said.

“It was kind of a way to distinguish myself; I went through a period where I did wear a lot of colors, but then I went back to black.

I wear what I want, and I’m not afraid to wear colors, but I’m automatically drawn to darker, more edgy stuff, anything that has studs, almost renaissance fashion mixed with goth.”

Windsor also wears black to express her identity as a feminist and to support the underground music and art that she loves.

“Culturally, I want people to know that I am equal to them because I’m such a feminist,” she explained.

“I think it expresses how my personality is. Historically, people have looked at women who wear black as more hard or people you don’t want to f*** with. When it comes to culture, I don’t think fashion defines you, but I think people have made it that way.”

“Support your friends’ businesses, because a major thing about what I choose fashion-wise is to go with things that are home grown, more local people, instead of people buying from giant chains,” she added. “I really love that a lot of the stuff I do wear and support is really local or on a smaller level and they are actually passionate about what they do. It shows in their work and I’m like ‘f*** yeah, I wanna wear that.’”

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Ditching Costumes

FOR BODY ART

By Yvonne Wright

I

t’s a form of art that often feels like a form of magic. Body paint artists can literally make a person disappear into their surroundings by painting them to replicate whatever they are sitting on or standing next to. Others paint clothes so realistic that some models walk naked in public with no one knowing.

This Halloween, a lot of people are trading in their costumes for something far more inventive.

“We’ve actually brought body art from being kind of a back-room sort of erotic thing into more of an accepted social art,” said David Caballero. Thanks in large part to Caballero, Denver is now one of the hubs for body paint artists to gather, teach, and learn. He is the Artistic Director at Disguises, a costume shop in Lakewood. He also hosts the monthly Face

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Paint & Body Art Jam at The Fusion Factory in Denver.

He said when he started the monthly gathering of artists, models, and photographers 10 years ago, he couldn’t find six body paint artists in Colorado.

Now there are hundreds, many of whom can be hired to paint Halloween body costumes.

They do everything from a simple face paint to a full body metamorphosis. “Anything you want to basically transform yourself, to become something new, we can make you,” Caballero said.

Mythica von Griffyn is one of his top students. She said superheroes

and zombies are particularly popular this season. “A lot of people try to be creative and combine something they like with zombies, for example, a Superman zombie or Homer Simpson as a zombie,” she said.

Griffyn was introduced to body painting eight years ago when she went to one of Caballero’s jams. Last year, she worked on Body Keepers, a horror movie set in Nederland, Colorado. In 2014 she was on the first season of Skin Wars, a competitive body paint reality TV show hosted by RuPaul and Rebecca Romijn. (Griffyn made it through four of the eight episodes before being eliminated.) She also travels the country taking part in competitions, exhibitions, and comic-cons.

a mentor to body paint artists here in Denver and across the country.

Caballero has done everything from glow-in-the-dark body paint parties to apocalyptic-themed events, vampires to biblical characters. The more creative the project, the better. If you don’t know what you want, he’s also happy to help. “I throw out an idea and we want people to use their creativity to come up with something based on that,” he said.

“Normally I am at Fantasy Fest in Key West for Halloween,” said Griffyn, who is now available for hire in her hometown of Denver because of hurricane Irma.

“Mostly people hire me for one-on-one sessions.”

Those can take anywhere from 45 minutes to upwards of eight hours.

She also caters to a very diverse clientele. Being “very openly bisexual and polyamorous” helps put many people in the LGBTQ community at ease.

As for Caballero, you can find him most days at Disguises. “Lots of people come in and we teach them [how to do body art] right here,” he said. If he doesn’t have time to do a job for you, he can recommend dozens of people who can. With nearly 20 years of experience, he’s been

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Lesbians from Beyond the Grave:

Sapphic Vampire Movies to Usher In Your Halloween Season

By David-Elijah Nahmod

The Vampire Lovers (1970) Director: Roy Ward Baker 89 minutes Hammer Films

T

he Vampire Lovers was an attempt by Hammer Films, then the premiere home for old fashioned, Gothic horror movies, to update their image. Since 1957, the company has produced lush, color remakes (and sequels) to classic horror tales like Dracula, Frankenstein, and The Mummy.

By 1970 the formula had begun to grown stale and the company was badly in need of “fresh blood.”

They found what they were looking for in J. Sheridan LeFanu’s 1872 novel Carmilla, a book that was considered quite shocking when it was first published.

Carmilla recounted the tale of Countess Carmilla Karnstein, a buxom and horny lady vampire who had a taste for young ladies.

Polish-born Holocaust survivor Ingrid Pitt enjoyed a brief brush with movie stardom when she was cast as Carmilla in The Vampire Lovers, Hammer’s adaptation of LeFanu’s book; the film was a huge hit in its day and was faithful to LeFanu’s story.

As the The Vampire Lovers unfolds, Carmilla ingratiates herself into the homes of several wealthy families and promptly feasts upon the breasts of her teenaged victims. The telltale scars of the vampire’s bite are found not on the girls’ necks, but above their nipples.

Pitt dove into her role with gusto.

Though she wasn’t a lesbian in real life, she had no qualms about shedding her clothes for the camera so she could seduce her young, nubile targets. Though not a porn

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film, The Vampire Lovers makes it clear that Carmilla and the young ladies are making love.

Other than Carmilla’s lesbianism, The Vampire Lovers is a traditional and straightforward chiller. Like most Hammer horror films, it’s set in the past; the film’s screenplay establishes the time frame as the 1790s.

The costumes and settings are lush and beautiful. When a group of bereaved family members go in search of Carmilla’s grave to exact their revenge, they find themselves in an ancient, fog-shrouded cemetery.

If you enjoy old-fashioned spook shows, then The Vampire Lovers is for you. The film’s lesbian content is the icing on the cake, proving that LGBTQ people are indeed everywhere — even in the Crypt of the Living Dead.

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O

ne of the strangest vampire films ever produced, Daughters of Darkness was filmed at a desolately creepy seaside hotel in Belgium. John Karlen (Dark Shadows) and Danielle Ouimet co-star as Stefan and Valerie. They’re a bisexual couple travelling across Europe on their honeymoon—they check into the hotel on the same night as a lesbian couple, both of whom are vampires. The two women immediately set their sights on the newlyweds as a game of sexual cat and mouse ensues.

The older and more dominant of the lesbian couple turns out to be Countess Elizabeth Bathory, a 17th century noblewoman who bathed in virgin blood in order to stay young; oddly enough, Ingrid Pitt played this same role in a 1972 Hammer film titled Countess Dracula.

Daughters of Darkness (1971) Director: Harry Kumel 100 minutes Blue Underground

In Daughters of Darkness, Bathory is played by Delphine Seyrig, who was then a huge star in Europe. Seyrig plays Bathory as a sensual seductress, giving the film a mesmerizing, erotic edge. She’s wonderful in the role, as she asserts control not only over her co-stars but over the audience. It’s impossible to look away from her eyes, from her ruby red lips, or from her flaming red nail polish.

A vampire film unlike any other, Daughters of Darkness will pull you into its bizarre and haunting world.

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Dueling with Depression:

The Haunted

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B Column and Photo by Mike Yost

ack in my early 20s when I was in the Air Force, I tried my best to be goth and embody the lyrics of Ministry’s “Everyday is Halloween.” I wore lots of black and hung out at Area 51, a goth club in Salt Lake City that our Wing Commander at Hill AFB told us to avoid. I was also reading the horror stories written by H.P. Lovecraft, the author who gave us the Cthulhu mythos and the dreaded Necronomicon (a copy of which I purchased out of fun).

I worked with an airman who was Wiccan and took the Necronomicon very seriously. I would half-heartedly read a passage, and my co-worker would quickly cast protective spells. He derided me for being so frivolous with such a dangerous book, as if one day I might summon demons out of the earth like in the movie, Evil Dead (one of the greatest horror movies ever made).

Game

I thought it all rather silly, the Necronomicon a bunch of nonsense that was fun to get lost in. After all, how could something created in the mind of an author have any real influence on reality itself?

But there’s the rub, as it certainly influenced the mind of my co-worker, cultivating anxiety and fear at the mere sight of the book. Thoughts in our minds, regardless of their origin, have the power to affect our physiology.

I mentioned in my last article the seemingly contradictory act of people (like myself) standing in the cold and snow for hours just to visit a haunted house, to indulge in the “real” threat of being hacked apart by a masked maniac with a machete.

Even knowing our lives aren’t in any real danger, the fear we experience can make the chest tighten, the stomach do backflips, and pucker up our assholes into the size of a period.

In some ways, all this “adulting” we engage in—which drives our anxiety and depression—is just a big show, an obligatory haunted game we all play to survive. British philosopher Alan Watts argues that the self, the I which works so hard to succeed at all this adulting, is an illusion, and that “the whole value system—what’s important, good, bad, pleasant, painful, and so on—can be called into question.”

There’s no way to prove this, of course; nor does Watts attempt to. How could you? But the idea offers a useful thought experiment. What if the value of what is “good” (being partnered, having an abundance of cash) and what is “bad” (being single, living from paycheck to paycheck) is mere abstraction?

Our minds have the freedom to engage each day with a bit of silliness, like you would a haunted house. “All these games we play—social games, production games, survival games—are good games. But we take them too seriously. We think that the I is the only important thing,” writes Watts.

How can anxiety and depression thrive when there’s no I? When there’s nothing “real” for the I to fail at? If we take it all too seriously, we’re sort of missing the point. After all, we go to a haunted house not to achieve anything, but to just enjoy the experience itself.

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CLOCKTOWER CABARET

16th St. Mall @ Arapahoe, Denver (303) 293-0075 clocktowercabaret.com

COMPOUND BASIX 145 Broadway, Denver (303) 722-7977 compounddenver.com

475 Santa Fe Dr, Denver

$8 Bottomless Beers 3:30 – 7:30 p.m.

SUNDAY FUNDAY $1 Bud/Bud Light 7 - 11 p.m.

TRACKS

WRANGLER

BL

3090 Downing St, Denver (303) 837-1075 denverwrangler.com

CLOCKTOWER

THU: 50 cent drafts 8p.m.

16 T

SAT: Svedka $3

O AH AP

AV E

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PRIDE & SWAGGER

31ST AVE. WRANGLER

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HAMBURGER MARY’S

17TH AVE.

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COLFAX AVE.

K

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ST

UT

XBAR

11TH AVE.

6TH AVE. TRADE COMPOUND BOYZTOWN 1ST AVE. LI’L DEVILS

OGDEN ST.

8TH AVE.

CLARKSON ST.

VYBE

R+R DENVER

CHARLIE’S BLUSH & BLU

WASHINGTON ST.

1027 N Broadway, Denver (720) 608-8923 vybe303.com

AL

BROADWAY

VYBE

ST .M

PA R

PENNSYLVANIA

629 E. Colfax Ave, Denver (303) 832-2687 xbardenver.com

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X BAR

N AL

YORK ST.

FRI: $3.50 House Drinks SUN: Charity Beer Bust Show Tune Sundays

T. ES

AR

THU: Pool Tournament 7 p.m.

WED: Big Gay Trivia 8 p.m.

AK

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VD BL

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SATURDAY BEER BUST

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1336 E 17th Ave, Denver (303) 993-5812 hamburgermarys.com/denver

THURSDAY SKIVVY STRIPDOWN

Also don’t miss Thursday Skivvy Stripdown & Sunday Funday 7pm-11pm, $1 Bud/Bud Light

EE

HAMBURGER MARY’S

475 Santa Fe Dr, Denver (720) 627-5905

SANTA FE DR. KALAMATH ST.

500 Santa Fe Drive Denver, Colorado (303) 893-6112

TRADE

SP

GLADYS: THE NOSY NEIGHBOR

3500 Walnut St, Denver (303) 863-7326 tracksdenver.com

COLORADO BLVD.

4501 E Virginia Ave, Glendale (303) 388-8889 Facebook - Elpotrero.180

TRACKS

BROADWAY

EL POTRERO

R&R DENVER

4958 E Colfax Ave (303) 320-9337

DOWNING ST.

900 E. Colfax Ave, Denver (303) 839-8890 charliesdenver.com

PRIDE & SWAGGER

TH E H OTTE ST C O LO RADO N IG H TL IFE

BLUSH & BLU

BAR TAB

By Brent Heinze

The Masks We Wear D

uring the Halloween season, it is not uncommon to see a selection of over-the-top costumes and people creating ways to conceal their image. This tradition means a variety of things to people, but for the most part it is done out of a sense of having fun, getting candy, and hanging out with friends. In these situations, many times we aspire to be the unique, creative, or funny versions of ourselves.

Unfortunately, though, this is not the only time of year that many of us choose to put on a mask to conceal ourselves.

Wearing a mask and presenting it to people around us can happen in our daily lives. This happens when we produce some type of false image that paints us in a different light than how we truly feel. Sometimes this is simply a way of keeping our unhappiness from being seen by others or because we are having a rough day. Others work to create a complete new persona to replace their original one that they dislike. This may be due to a variety of situations that have occurred throughout our lives that cause feelings of shame.

There are times when people simply

don’t like who they are or the situation they came from. Maybe someone grew up in a crappy situation with parents who were not supportive, or they were the awkward kid with few friends and bad school pictures. Like many of us, they may have grown up not feeling comfortable with themselves due to forbidden attractions to others or body image issues. Being the queer kid was not a happy, supportive time for most of us. Instead of working to heal from those difficult times growing up, there are people that feel it’s a better option to simply hit the delete button and begin to sculpt their own version 2.0 of themselves that can replace the old one.

This new creation is designed to make us feel better about ourselves since the old image is undesirable. This new version will hopefully gain us more friends, acceptance, love, opportunities for fun and sex, better social standing, and improved self-esteem. We can finally look in the mirror and see what we consider a better form of ourselves.

Unfortunately, these “cover ups” aren’t truly who we are. When we look at this new person, we know that this creature looking back at us is just a false image

of someone we have created to shroud the one that we feel others won’t like or accept. The undesirable either needs to be exterminated or at least locked away in a dank dungeon. We need to do everything possible to not have to face our old life that brings up such negative feelings about ourselves.

In these situations, people fear being found out that they are lying to others and that they wouldn’t be accepted if people knew the truth. Threats exist everywhere that can cause terror. You can attempt to destroy every horrid picture of yourself, delete your old friends from social media, and pray that questions aren’t asked about your early history. An entirely new image may appear to get you what you want, but you know the person inside. Ultimately, we are who we are and we can’t easily run away from ourselves. Instead of spending effort to stomp out the person we don’t like, we should take the effort to embrace our history and experiences to work on improving the parts of us we don’t like. The friends we make who know the true version of ourselves will like us, not a costume that we create to conceal our true selves.

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BY BOBERTO

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Playmates or soul mates, you’ll find them on MegaMates Washington:

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www.megamates.com 18+

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