Tapioka Magazine - Fall 2025 | KINTSUGI

TAPIOKA

Issue 15 | KINTSUGI

KINTSUGI

ISSUE 15 Tapioka Magazine is Oklahoma's first publication with a focus on APIDA-MENA culture and identity. Through written and visual media, we hope to highlight Oklahoma's APIDA-MENA community and celebrate its rich heritage and history.

Contents FRACTURED FRACTURED 05 - Letter from the Editor 07 - Pieces 10 - Saltwater Stories 13 - MOHONA (মোহনা) of dreams

Mending

16 - I AM MAI 19 - The Spaces / Đi đường nào thì cũng tới đó 21 - To Those Who Grew Up 23 - The Things We Never Said

RESTORATI RESTORA TION ON

29 - Filling in the Cracks: Filipino Identity After Colonization 31 - Butter, Bean, & Gold 33 - The Glue That Holds Us Together

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TAPIOKA COMMITTEE EDITORIAL BOARD

FALL 2025 COMMITTEE

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Alayna Leck

Erik Phan ASSISTANT EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Meghana Nuthi SECRETARY

Neil Parekh

Anika Yalamanchili Dana Ta Darren Hu Zeke Sumang Fiona Zhao Henry Hong Hoang Nguyen

DIRECTOR OF MARKETING

Ishaa Mehta

Joseph Vu

Janani Easwar Koi Longcrier

DIRECTOR OF DESIGN

Shayna Duong

Kriti Gopi Lauren Vongthavaravat Loc Phan Max Trinh Pira Tsui Samia Shara Sydney Le

Guest Contributor Dr. David Shuang Song

CONTACT Email: tapiokamagazine@gmail.com Instagram: @tapioka.mag 3

SPECIAL THANKS Exploring Identity in I AM MAI

Saltwater Stories

Anne Nguyen

Tenari Atoe

Natalie Giorgetti

Ailana Agbayani

Kaori Thomas

Nelly McEnroe-Marinas

Luke Green Gage Looney

The Things We Never Said

Anna England

Arienna Ivory

The Spaces / Đi đường nào thì cũng tới đó Hang Duong Nguyen Vu

To Those Who Grew Up Michelle Phan Rida Sheikh Hiba Sheikh Hein Htet Emily Rajak

Pieces Anne Nguyen Alina Hemani Subaha Kiria

Filling in the Cracks: Filipino Identity After Colonization Romeo J. Cortez

To our friends and family who have indulged in our passions, who have driven us to create such wondrous and amazing pieces of art, and who have been with us through every trial and tribulation, we thank you.

-The Tapioka Team

Lara Balongoy Jason Asombrado

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR If I were to talk to the person I was at the start of college, he would not recognize me. It feels as if I’ve lived many lifetimes, in which each iteration of “Erik” builds upon the next, for better or for worse. There have been times when I’ve contemplated discarding traits I deemed undesirable, but to do that would be a betrayal of myself. It’s not up to any one individual to decide which parts of themselves they choose to discard. These parts must be reformed into something worthy of what we call our identity.

Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, encapsulates this cycle of being built, shattered, and reconstituted into something entirely new and glorious.

And though the gilded cracks display on the surface for all to see, it will be recognized not as the inability to withstand cracking under pressure, but as having the will to put yourself back together again.

This issue was difficult for me to produce, as I wanted to put the most time and care into it as I could, but the circumstances surrounding my personal life made it challenging to put it out in the time I wanted to. Now that it’s out, I hope anyone reading it resonates with it as much as I have. To many more cycles of breaking down and building ourselves back up again.

ERIK PHAN, EDITOR IN CHIEF 5

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FRACTURED

PIECES Writing: Janani Venkat Easwar Photography: Erik Phan Sometimes, when I think about the vast collectivity inside of me, I feel like shattering into a million, tiny pieces.

Sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I see a crack running down the center of my face, forehead to chin, One side smooth, unmarred porcelain, The other fractured, splinters running every which way.

I can’t tell which is which.

I am constantly gravitating between which is my “good” side, The one I would rather the world see, The one I wish to be.

And yesterday, when the frustration peaked, when the polarity inside of me began clawing at the skin of my face, I drove my fist into the mirror, And watched my reflection crumble in front of my eyes.

My mind is a haphazard amalgamation of what people see.

Intelligent

Stranger

Exotic

Model

Talented

Alien

The words echo into a hurricane of hurt, and bury me so deeply that when I close my eyes and try to think, I no longer hear my own voice.

The weight of expectations makes the floor tremble around me.

My mind becomes an earthquake, vases cracking, glass shattering.

I start to feel imposed, presumed, an assumption.

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When I rise from the wreckage, pushing aside the rubble and turmoil, It's always as a misshapen, agonized creature, One that rears its head and roars.

I don’t want to be buried.

I don’t want to rise from the ashes of my own unsurety like some nebulous phoenix.

I don’t want to be a martyr or a possible role model.

I don’t want to be debated, tossed about in conversation, turned into a case study for spectators to dissect.

I want to, somehow, make the incompatible parts of me seem cohesive, Turn this tumultuous turbulence and bewilderment into a beautiful, perhaps crooked, harmony.

But when I kneel down to pick up the shards of mirror and piece them together, one by one, I don’t see streaks of gold.

I don’t see the beauty.

All I see is someone caught between the wars of two worlds, Standing on the mountaintop as both armies rush towards them, Waiting for the collision.

Look into the eyes of this war-ridden, forlorn, once golden phoenix.

Look at my tattered wings, look at how they’re shredded with the shards of my reflection.

And tell me – How do I heal?

“Pieces” is an oral poetry piece about how APIDA-MENA identity often feels fissured. You can view the full video on the TAPIOKA Instragam page, or by scanning this QR code:

QR here

Design Credits: Pira Tsui

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SALTWATER STORIES Written by Ezekiel Sumang

The Pacific is more than an ocean. It is memory, language, and inheritance. For Polynesian and Pacific Islander students at the University of Oklahoma, often referred to collectively as “Pasifika,” distance from home is not only measured in miles, but in visibility. On campus, Pasifika students exist in the margins, present yet often unseen, grouped into broader categories that blur distinction rather than honor it.

For student athletes Nelly and Ailana, both from Hawaiʻi, that absence is immediate. When asked how they identify, their answers are precise. “Hawaiian”. “Polynesian”. These are not interchangeable labels, but identities rooted in land and lineage.

Yet at OU, those distinctions are frequently misunderstood.

“When people find out I’m from Hawaiʻi,” Nelly said, “they start talking about grass huts, like I’m from a different country.” Ailana echoes the experience. “They ask if I need a passport. They don’t even know Hawaiʻi is a state.”

These moments happen casually, folded into everyday conversation, but they leave marks. Accents become something to explain. “My pidgin makes people uncomfortable,” Nelly explains. “Even basic conversations remind me how different Hawaiian culture is.” What feels most jarring is not hostility, but unfamiliarity, a lack of cultural literacy that goes over most of the heads of students who encounter Polynesian and Pacific Islander students.

Respect is one of the sharpest contrasts they notice. Both describe Hawaiʻi as a place where respect for elders and community is foundational. “People are rude as f*** here,” Nelly said bluntly. Ailana agrees. It isn’t that OU is openly hostile. It is that something essential is missing.

What they miss most is food and family. “Food, food, food,” Nelly laughs. For Ailana, it is the large family gatherings, spaces where belonging is effortless. At OU, those spaces do not exist for Polynesians. “We don’t really have anywhere to gather,” Nelly said. “We just want a family of Polynesian students.”

Not all Polynesian students at OU arrive from the islands.

Some grow up on the mainland, learning their culture in fragments through family, music, and deliberate practice. In particular, one Samoan student, Tenari, raised in Texas and Oklahoma, describes their identity as actively maintained rather than assumed.

“My Samoan background defines my individuality, my values, my perception of the world,” Tenari said. “It is the foundation for my way of life.” They identify as Polynesian, Pacific Islander, Pasifika, and Samoan. Tenari’s description of his background is an expansive sense of self shaped across geography, yet distinct through cultural upbringing, values, and traditions.

Like Nelly and Ailana, respect remains central to Tenari.

“Fa’aaloalo, ‘respect’, is one of the greatest values I try to uphold,” Tenari explained, referencing Fa’a Samoa, the Samoan way. Culture appears quietly in daily life. Samoan tribal designs on hoodies, wearing an ‘ie lavalava while cooking, practicing ukulele, listening to Polynesian music, and learning language through books and apps. For mainland-raised Pasifika students, culture is often protected in private because of misunderstandings about most Polynesian cultures in the mainland.

Their experience at OU has been largely positive. “Even though there aren’t many Pasifika students, I still feel fairly included,” Tenari said. But inclusion, Tenari noted, is not the same as representation. “There isn’t enough visibility or support. Aside from athletes or a few individuals, there isn’t much effort to highlight the culture.”

Meeting another Pacific Islander on campus is rare. “It’s like finding a shiny Pokémon,” Tenari joked. And when it happens, the absence becomes more apparent. At an AAPI meeting last year, Tenari realized he was the only Pacific Islander present, aside from a Chamorro student who introduced himself afterward.

“Because there weren’t Pasifika representatives, the meeting was very Asian focused.”

That experience mirrors what Nelly and Ailana feel across classrooms and student organizations. Nelly recalls a gender, race, and ethnicity course that opened with Hawaiian history, but avoided discussing the illegal annexation of Hawaiʻi. “It was more about how people think Hawaiians forgot their culture,” she said. “But we learned it’s not dead. It just needs to be 10 preserved.”

Preservation, however, has always been political in Hawaiʻi. In 2025, that reality resurfaced when a Virginia-based antiaffirmative action group sued Kamehameha Schools, challenging its long-standing admissions policy that prioritizes Native Hawaiian students. Founded nearly 140 years ago through the estate of Princess Bernice Pauahi Bishop, Kamehameha Schools exists to confront the educational harm of colonization, displacement, and cultural erasure still affecting Native Hawaiians today.

Despite improved outcomes, Native Hawaiian students still face persistent disparities in academic achievement and college enrollment. Kamehameha was created as a form of repair, yet the lawsuit reframed that effort as exclusion. Once again, protection was treated as a problem.

Like kintsugi, the Japanese art that repairs broken pottery with gold, Kamehameha Schools fill historical breaks with intention, strengthening what was shattered rather than pretending it was never broken. The legal challenge exposes a familiar discomfort.

When Indigenous communities mend themselves, the gold is often mistaken for an unfair advantage.

That same discomfort appears in quieter ways at OU. Pacific Islanders are frequently grouped with Asian Americans in data, organizations, and programming. While some appreciate the recognition, students like Nelly, Ailana, Tenari, and others agree that the grouping erases distinction. “Culturally, it’s completely different,” Nelly said. The Samoan student adds, “Pasifika culture is its own culture. There needs to be space for that.

Ailana and Ne lly

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Tenari

Still, the desire for connection in Pasifika culture persists. For Nelly and Ailana, softball is one of the few spaces that feels grounding. They stay close to home through daily calls with family and music shared during practice. Presence, even in isolation, carries weight. “Back home, people talk about us like we’re some of the few who go to OU,” Nelly said. Ailana adds, “Little girls look up to us. Being here makes it easier for others to come.”

The theme of kintsugi runs quietly through these stories.

Polynesian and Pacific Islander identities at OU are fragmented, miscategorized, underrepresented, and misunderstood. But those fractures are not failures. They are evidence of survival. Like kintsugi, the cracks tell a story, and the gold is found in what endures.

“We just want to be seen,” Ailana said.

“We’re here,” Nelly adds. “Please be our friends.”

The Pacific Ocean moves with us, even here, in a landlocked state far away from home. It lives in the way we find each other, in the way we speak about home. Saltwater carries memory. And even far from home, these stories, pieced together across oceans and states, continue to shine.

Author’s Note

I am from Kapolei, Hawaiʻi, on the island of Oʻahu, the same island Nelly and Ailana call home. I moved to Oklahoma in 2021 and, since then, have been searching for familiarity in a place that often feels far removed from it. This story began as that search, for friends, for community, for people who understood what it meant to carry the Pacific with you on a mainland campus.

I pursued this piece because Polynesian and Pacific Islander students at the University of Oklahoma are often grouped into Asian spaces that do not fully understand or reflect our lived realities, especially within a predominantly white institution. My commitment to this story solidified during a conversation about creating a Pasifika student organization, when an Asian American student affiliated with one of OU’s major Asian groups interrupted to criticize the idea. They called it redundant, insisting that existing Asian organizations already included students like me, Nelly, Ailana, and Tenari.

That moment revealed how easily our identities are dismissed under the assumption of inclusion. It also showed how deeply misunderstood Pasifika representation is on this campus. This story exists because of that misunderstanding, and because visibility is not redundancy. It is survival.

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MOHONA (মোহনা) of dreams Written by Samia Shara

Mohona (মোহনা). The point at which a slew of rivers meet at one singular place. It’s symbolic of the strength of community, and the unity of different facets of ideas and of people. Mohona is, in that sense, a mindset. A mindset that the people of Bangladesh embraced the summer of 2024.

Bangladesh is a country that follows a democracy. It strives for the ideals of freedom and fair elections.

However, you may have heard a name circling around the internet: the former prime minister of Bangladesh, Sheikh Hasina. Holding 15 years of consecutive power, and 20 total years of leadership, Hasina defined her version of democracy in Bangladesh to be unfair, rigged, and corrupt.

20 years culminated. It brewed underneath the surface with each wrongdoing and with each failure of protected rights, until one decision by the high courts was made in the summer of 2024. Previously, quotas in Bangladesh were abolished. These quotas would favor descendants of the soldiers who fought during the war between Bangladesh and Pakistan in the 1970s. Specifically, it would increase priority for these descendants in getting government jobs. In a country where jobs are already difficult to get due to a large population and competitive job market, the high court's ruling that the abolishment of that quota system was illegal deeply angered the students of Bangladesh. The protests against this quota system started peacefully, until the government faced the students with hostility. Whenever that happens, of course, it all falls into chaos.

The UN estimates that 1400 people were killed or shot at point-blank range. Many were protesters, innocent people, and children. What started as protests against a quota system quickly became a representation of how far the government was willing to go, and how desperately the people fought back.

Many different qualities make a leader successful, and everyone leads differently. Machiavelli says, “It's much safer to be feared than loved” in his treatise, Prince, on chapter 17 of its published copies and translations. That leaders should be able to be immoral, and live with a mindset that focuses on their goals by any means necessary. However, this shows merely one side of leadership: the desire to be feared. The grasp of control one may get from being feared, being able to bend people at your will just because people are afraid of you.

This type of leadership fails quickly. It fails because fear strikes anger, and anger strikes disdain. This, when building up slowly over time, cascades like rivers until it meets another. Until we see mohona.

Sheikh Hasina made no illusion of empathy. She had 20 years of control that made her egotistical, and her own spies recorded her when she claimed to have ordered her military to “shoot wherever they find them,” and that she was only thinking about “the student’s safety” as she allegedly says in her recorded conversations. Her crackdown included shutting down the internet for 16 days in the whole country. This is not leadership. This is not even fear. This is a crime.

The UN marked this situation as a human rights violation.

Around 12-13% of those killed were children. Around 11 thousand were detained. This was a fight that was brought on by students,people with families,people just like you, and just like me.

In the end, Bangladesh won. Sheikh Hasina could only take a month of the rising pressure and the combined forces of everyone who cared about their country, and was exiled to India. They made a mockery of the leadership she claimed to have, but did not actually exhibit. They all reached a point of mohona: Unity, because of how they worked together, and the success they achieved because they did not give up.

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So why should you care about this story?

America right now is undergoing massive change. Asian hate is on the rise, and it seems as if the media can't agree between being on the side of neutrality or propaganda. Worst of all, it seems like no one is making an effort to stop it. To be Asian American, or even an Asian in America, has never felt so dangerous to our generation. To those on the outside, America has lost what it takes to be the land of promised freedom.

What worked for Bangladesh has not seemed to work for us.

There are reasons for that, mainly being that though both countries try to exhibit Democracy, America’s democracy is significantly stronger and more developed. Bangladesh was standing on a corruption-infested pillar that crashed when the people of Bangladesh began to push it, but it’s not so easy In 2025, when Nepal was undergoing similar protests and to do that here. activism against Prime Minister Khadga Prasad Oli, there However, even if change and progression was harder to get would have been no change without people uniting over through to, they wouldn’t have been able to do it without each one shared sentiment. Without the youth and those older other; without mohona; without that mindset. coming together to speak against the systematic corruption Complacency is the enemy to progress. within their government. The youth that makes up only Change is not an unscalable wall; we are not trapped in a around 20% of the population, who knew their voices fortress of any sort. We are not incapable as a species to mattered and acted on it. In America, there would’ve been come together and achieve a larger dream, that is what all of no change to segregation if no one came together. There our successes have ever been built on. Especially now, when it would’ve been no easier access to education for people of seems that all our efforts to make our voices known and color. There would’ve been no unity. opinions heard seem futile, we must remember that it is Whatever your opinion is, to have an opinion at all is the never in our best interest to give up. In Bangladesh, without most important thing that you can do. Not just an opinion, the students who care so much for each other and their but an educated one. One that makes you passionate to see communities, there would’ve been no change. the best outcome, and with everyone else, reach Mohona.

The hard road makes the payoff better. Persistence, patience, and determination are what make our country ours. We lose the fight when we say it’s impossible. Your power as a student is far greater than you think it is; like a butterfly wing, one flap has the power to change everything.

SOURCES Keaten, Jamey. “Un Estimates up to 1,400 Killed in Bangladesh during Crackdown on Protests Last Year.” PBS, Public Broadcasting Service, 12 Feb. 2025 Sajjad, Tazreena. Bangladesh’s Protests Explained | School of International Service | American University, Washington, DC, 6 Aug. 2024 Daniela Pulido | Facultad de Derecho PUCP, PE. “Bangladesh Authorities Announce End to 11-Day Internet Shutdown.” Jurist, - JURIST - News, 29 July 2024 “Hasina – 36 Days in July.” Al Jazeera Media Network, 23 July 2025.

Dash, Sahasranshu. “Bangladesh and Nepal: Why Some Protests Topple Leaders (and Others Don’t).” Bangladesh and Nepal: Why Some Protests Topple Leaders (and Others Don’t), 12 Sept. 2025.

“Bangladesh Protests Probe Reveals Top Leaders Led Brutal Repression | UN News.” United Nations, United Nations, 12 Feb. 2025.

Unit, Al Jazeera Investigative, and Will Thorne. “‘Shoot Them’: Sheikh Hasina Ordered Firing on Bangladesh Protesters in 2024.” Al Jazeera, Al Jazeera, 24 July 2025.

Khan, Ahmer. “Deadly Gen Z Protests Expose Decades of Systemic Rot in Nepal.” The New Humanitarian, 10 Oct. 2025.

Machiavelli, Nicolo. “The Prince.” Gutenberg.org, 1532.

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02

MENDING

EXPLORING IDENTITY IN photography by Natalie Giorgetti, Erik Phan, Max Trinh | lighting by Kaori Thomas, Erik Phan

Ia short AM film MAI

by Erik Phan

I grew up speaking almost exclusively English as both my parents were fairly acculturated, having immigrated at young ages. I spoke the same language as my peers, but from a purely visual sense, I was different. Different enough to have my eyes ridiculed, to have what they believed to be my language mocked, to be put into a box based on the way I looked. I wanted to fit in and strip myself of my Asian identity.

At home, I would often be left in the care of my grandparents, who barely spoke English. Communication between us would never amount to more than a couple words at a time, usually things like I love you or asking if I wanted something to eat.

Then came when my grandmother had cancer. It’s almost indescribable the feeling of running out of time to say the things that must be said, but physically having the incapability of saying those words or understanding the true weight they held. How do I express that I love you when I can’t understand that you’re attempting to express the same to me?

I AM MAI is a tribute to who I am and to the family and community I’m a part of. Not Asian, not American, but Asian American. It embodies the struggles I’ve had grappling with my sense of identity and how language can be both a source of comfort and a source of resentment. It's a piece unabashedly rooted in the exploration of being different and both the joys and struggles that come along with it.

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SCENES FROM

I AM MAI

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BEHIND THE

SCENES

watch it here

The Spaces

By Shayna Duong The day The day Hang Hang left left Vietnam, Vietnam, she she left aa part left part of of herself herself behind—a behind—a profound, quiet profound, quiet ache ache that that centered centered on on her parents. her parents. Decades Decades would would stretch stretch between visits, between visits, time time stolen stolen by by borders borders and circumstance, and circumstance, aa sacrifice sacrifice she she feels feels heavily even heavily even now. now. "So "So many many years years passed without passed without me me being being able able to to care care for them," for them," she she would would later later reflect, reflect, the the words laced words laced with with regret regret for for the the missed missed moments of moments of filial filial duty. duty.

When she When she arrived arrived in in the the United United States, the States, the world world became became muted. muted. The The greatest challenge greatest challenge wasn't wasn't the the hard hard labor or labor or the the unfamiliar unfamiliar streets, streets, but but the the chilling realization chilling realization that that she she was was voiceless. voiceless.

"I felt "I felt like like II had had to to relearn relearn how how to to be myself. be myself. II was was an an outsider." outsider."

Every simple Every simple exchange exchange became became an an exhausting performance. exhausting performance. She She felt felt severed from severed from her her identity, identity, forced forced to to navigate aa new navigate new existence existence where where the the most basic most basic tool tool—language—was —language—was denied denied to her. to her. This This sense sense of of being being lost, lost, of of having to having to start start over over from from aa silence, silence, became the became the first first great great crack crack in in her her new life. new life.

Yet, life's Yet, life's greatest greatest blows blows often often arrive without arrive without warning. warning. During During the the height of height of the the pandemic, pandemic, aa tragedy tragedy struck: her struck: her father father passed passed away. away. The The final, agonizing final, agonizing sacrifice sacrifice she she was was forced to forced to make make was was the the inability inability to to return, to return, to say say goodbye. goodbye. The The distance, distance, amplified by amplified by lockdown, lockdown, became became aa brutal, unyielding brutal, unyielding wall. wall. "I "I hadn't hadn't seen seen him in him in so so long," long," she she mourned, mourned, the the memory of memory of that that isolation isolation becoming becoming the the heaviest weight heaviest weight she she carried. carried.

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But even But even the the deepest deepest cracks cracks can can be be mended. Hang mended.

Hang began began the the slow slow process process of of repairing her repairing her world, world, guided guided by by her her steadfast partner. steadfast partner. "My "My husband husband was was by by my side, my side, always always supporting supporting me," me," she she affirmed. He affirmed.

He was was the the anchor, anchor, allowing allowing her to her to focus focus on on the the essential essential act act of of rebuilding home. rebuilding home.

Home, for Home, for Hang, Hang, wasn't wasn't aa structure structure —it — it was was aa feeling, feeling, constructed constructed meticulously from meticulously from cultural cultural ingredients. ingredients.

She poured She poured her her heritage heritage into into every every act: act: cooking traditional cooking traditional Vietnamese Vietnamese dishes dishes that that filled the filled the new new spaces spaces with with familiar familiar aromas, and aromas, and diligently diligently instilling instilling Vietnamese values Vietnamese values in in her her children. children. Her Her children became children became the the new new soil soil where where her her culture could culture could take take root. root.

This is This is how how she she protected protected her her legacy: by legacy: by teaching teaching her her children children to to speak the speak the language language of of her her country country and and to eat to eat the the food food of of her her ancestors. ancestors. It It was was a daily, a daily, loving loving effort effort to to ensure ensure that that the the journey didn't journey didn't sever sever their their connection connection to to who they who they were. were.

Today, Hang Today, Hang looks looks upon upon her her life life with aa sense with sense of of calm calm accomplishment. accomplishment.

Her heart Her heart is is healed, healed, filled filled with with aa powerful, simple powerful, simple joy: joy: her her children. children.

"My children "My children are are my my greatest greatest joys." joys."

Her proudest Her proudest achievement achievement is is seeing seeing them them work hard work hard and and live live aa life life she she couldn't. couldn't.

Their success Their success is is her her ultimate ultimate victory victory over the over the hardships. hardships. What What makes makes her her family's story family's story beautiful beautiful is is not not the the absence of absence of pain, pain, but but their their collective collective resilience. resilience.

“We’ve been “We’ve been through through aa lot lot of of heartache and heartache and losses, losses, yet yet we we still still stand stand strong." strong."

Hang Duong’s Hang Duong’s story story is is aa testament testament that even that even when when the the outside outside world world feels feels foreign and foreign and overwhelming, overwhelming, true true strength strength is found is found in in the the loving loving space space built built within within one's own one's own family. family.

Đi đường nào thì cũng tới đó B y J o s e ph V u

The wisdom The wisdom that that guided guided Nguyen Nguyen Vu, through Vu, through decades decades of of upheaval, upheaval, is is encapsulated in encapsulated in aa single, single, resilient resilient Vietnamese proverb: Vietnamese proverb: “Đi đường “Đi đường nào nào thì thì cũng cũng tới tới đó” đó”— — You’ll get You’ll get there there no no matter matter which which way way you go. you go. This This wasn't wasn't merely merely aa phrase; phrase; it it was the was the quiet quiet conviction conviction that that fueled fueled his his journey from journey from the the turbulent turbulent past past of of his his homeland to homeland to the the steady steady harbor harbor he he built built for us for us here. here.

Growing up Growing up in in Vietnam, Vietnam, Vu Vu carried carried burdens early. burdens early. He He often often recalls recalls the the profound emotional profound emotional weight weight of of that that time time —memories — memories of of family family difficulty difficulty and and an an unstable life unstable life that that still still make make his his heart heart heavy. It heavy.

It was was aa life life of of constant constant uncertainty, forcing uncertainty, forcing him him to to look look beyond beyond the horizon the horizon for for aa chance chance at at solid solid ground. ground.

When the When the opportunity opportunity arose, arose, the the decision to decision to leave leave was was made made with with a a mixture of mixture of hope hope and and fear. fear.

The moment The moment Vu Vu arrived arrived in in the the United States, United States, he he faced faced the the deepest deepest chasm of chasm of all. all. "Starting "Starting aa new new life life was was the most the most difficult difficult thing," thing," he he shared. shared.

The immediate, The immediate, crushing crushing need need to to find find work was work was amplified amplified by by the the dizzying dizzying struggle with struggle with language. language. Imagine Imagine stepping into stepping into aa world world where where every every instruction, every instruction, every sign, sign, and and every every interaction demands interaction demands aa vocabulary vocabulary you you don't yet don't yet possess. possess.

To survive, To survive, he he had had to to become become aa master of master of sacrifice. sacrifice. These These were were not not grand, public grand, public gestures, gestures, but but the the quiet, quiet, relentless demands relentless demands of of survival: survival: working working hard to hard to master master new new skills, skills, the the exhausting stretch exhausting stretch of of many many extra extra hours, hours, and taking and taking on on additional additional jobs jobs that that chipped away chipped away at at his his free free time, time, all all for for the singular the singular goal goal of of providing. providing.

In those In those lean lean years, years, there there were were no easy no easy handouts. handouts. His His saving saving grace grace was was his own his own self-reliance—the self-reliance—the grit grit to to go go out out and find and find work work by by himself himself—though —though he he credits the credits the occasional occasional help help from from friends friends as as the small the small lifelines lifelines that that kept kept him him afloat afloat during moments during moments of of near near despair. despair. To To rebuild aa feeling rebuild feeling of of "home," "home," he he focused focused on the on the tangible: tangible: enduring enduring the the suffering suffering and hardship, and hardship, and and saving saving every every single single penny. He penny.

He built built stability stability one one painful, painful, determined step determined step at at aa time. time.

The final The final "destination" "destination" wasn't wasn't aa sudden arrival, sudden arrival, but but the the slow, slow, steady steady culmination of culmination of his his efforts. efforts. His His proudest proudest achievement is achievement is immediate immediate and and centered: centered: building aa warm building warm and and happy happy family. family.

His family His family is is his his masterpiece, masterpiece, proving proving the arduous the arduous journey journey was was worth worth it. it. His His deepest joy deepest joy comes comes from from watching watching his his children thrive: children thrive: studying studying well, well, living living morally, and morally, and being being respectful. respectful. The The beauty of beauty of our our story story lies lies in in our our harmony, harmony, love for love for one one another, another, and and commitment commitment to to helping each helping each other other—a —a supportive supportive community created community created from from scratch. scratch.

His path His path also also demands demands one one final final act act of preservation: of preservation: passing passing down down the the Vietnamese language Vietnamese language and and the the culture culture of of our ancestors. our ancestors. This This ensures ensures that that while while our our physical address physical address has has changed, changed, the the rich rich soul of soul of his his origin origin remains, remains, proving proving that that the essential the essential part part of of you you always always reaches reaches its destination. its destination.

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Project Leads: Samia Shara & Michelle Phan Photographer: Samia Shara

“Reminiscing on childhood is something that keeps all humans down to earth and more humble, realizing we are more similar than we think. In reality, we are all just a little kid [that has] grown up, that have gone through different experiences shaping us to who we are today. While maturing yet reminiscing at the same time, growing from the past captivates you as a person.”

-Rida Sheikh

, unfiltered the source of pure is ild ch er inn r ou “Y at part of e love of play. Th imagination and th is 'realistic' an artistic dream you doesn't care if ecting with n is 'awkward.' Conn or if a conversatio ult feelings, process those diffic that child lets you over guage or past pain like regret over lan and empathy, with vulnerability beauty standards, ppressing them.“ rather than just su -Hiba Sheikh 21

way for me “Looking back at my childhood is also a rienced growing to value the cultural mix that I expe , but it has up in Trinidad. It was not always easy . I have tity iden taught me a lot about understanding just about come to realise that growing up is not g back at moving ahead in life but also about lookin those from [our] former self and learning who we are and experiences so that we do not forget what we’ve come from.”

-Hein Htet

“I used to send my future self a yearly scheduled emai l. Reading thos e back, I believe I have achieve d most of the things that I want to be. In one email, I w rote to have so many internatio nal friends and st udy abroad somewhere, w hich I am doin g right now.

I would say to So my younger se lf not to worry about the futu re too much, and your curren self is handlin t g well.”

-Emily Rajak

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T‌he Things

W e never said By: Meghana Nuthi

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“The Things We Never Said” explores generational trauma as an invisible inheritance, a red string that binds families and communities across time. Through this imagery, the piece reflects the quiet understanding that we carry fragments of those who came before us, their wounds, their silences, and their unfinished stories. We become living mosaics of their histories, shaped as much by what was endured as by what was left unspoken. The silence surrounding these inherited experiences, deeply rooted in many Asian cultures, becomes its own language. It lingers in gestures, in restraint, and in the weight of what is never directly named. Through this tension between connection and quiet, the work invites viewers to consider how trauma is not only passed down but also how it is held, carried, and slowly transformed.

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RESTORATION

Filling in the Cracks:

Filipino Identity After Colonization Written By: Ishaa Mehta Over the course of its history, the Philippines was colonized by various foreign powers, including the United States and Japan. However, the country was ruled for the longest by the Spanish for three hundred and thirty-three years, heavily influencing and reshaping its culture, customs, and traditions. The fusion of

Whether knowingly or unknowingly done, this

Spanish and Filipino cultures creates a unique

miscategorization leaves a fracture in the racial

complexity and depth within the way that

categorization of Filipino identity, as it often can

Filipino Americans interact with the world and

fit in between racial lines. Cortez continued

their social environment, especially in the United

explaining how, in his experience, “people often

States, which has a prominent Hispanic heritage.

don’t associate us [Filipinos] as being Asian.” He

Lara Balongoy, a freshman at the University of

highlights how not being categorized as Asian,

Oklahoma, immigrated to the United States from

but rather as more Hispanic, from external

the Philippines at seven years old. She describes

perspectives, can create a rift or confusion in

how many aspects of Filipino culture have clear

identity. Jason Asombrado, the current

Spanish roots, even one hundred and fifty years

President of FSA and a junior at the University of

after the end of Spanish colonization. For

Oklahoma, explains how, while growing up in a

example, “in Tagalog, asking someone ‘How are

predominantly white school, he often felt

you?’ is ‘kumusta?’ which sounds very similar to

inadequate in both of his cultural identities, at

‘¿Cómo está?’ in Spanish.” This similarity

times not feeling “Filipino or American enough”

exemplifies how Spanish is woven into Tagalog,

in his environment. These feelings of wanting to

forming linguistic seams between the two

reconnect more with cultural roots were a

languages. Furthermore, RJ Cortez, the founder

recurring theme in both Asombrado and

of the Filipino Student Association and a senior at

Cortez’s interviews. They reflect invisible cracks

the University of Oklahoma, explained how many

in identity, partly due to colonial history, which

Filipinos lost their traditional last names, leaving

are not always visible but deeply felt by many

a division between the lineage of Filipinos

Filipino Americans. Cortez describes how, upon

connected by traditional last names and those

arriving at OU, there was not really a cultural

now connected by Spanish surnames. He used

space for Filipinos to connect, like there was for

himself as an example of how Spanish influence

other ethnic groups. He wanted to restart the

left its mark, recounting how he is often mistaken

Filipino Student Association to create an

for Hispanic because of his last name.

environment in which people like himself could learn about Filipino culture.

29 Design Credits: Sydney Le & Pira Tsui

In just three years, FSA has grown to become

Cortez explained that upon refounding the

what Cortez envisioned, a space where

club, he wanted to create not only a space

Filipinos at OU connect, share their culture on

for Filipinos, but also for people of all

campus, and strengthen their relationship with

backgrounds to teach what Filipino culture

their customs. This past October, FSA attended

is really about, along with its complexity and

Isang Mahal at Texas A&M with a number of

nuances.

other Filipino Student Associations from all

Through their experiences, Balongoy,

over Texas. In Jason Asombrado’s words, going

Cortez, and Asombrado reveal how Filipinos

to Isang Mahal and seeing so many other

have embraced the complexity of Spanish

people like himself “made me want to connect

influence on Filipino culture and

more with my culture and expand FSA.”

continuously learn and understand how the

Although Spanish colonization ended

fluidity of their culture fits into their social

centuries ago, its presence in the lives of

environment. Like kintsugi, they have taken

Filipino Americans persists. While colonial

the fractures in the Filipino identity caused

history is often only seen through loss and

by the Spanish occupation centuries ago

suffering, some Filipinos do not entirely

and forged a new identity from its pieces.

associate it with negative connotations. Cortez states that “Spanish influence isn’t something that has hindered us; I feel as though we have

FSA’s Cultural Dance at Isang Mahal 2025

made it our own.” For example, he explains how, as a result of foreign cultures infusing into Filipino culture, it is easier for Filipinos to make connections and conversation with other people because “they have a lot of shared experiences” with other cultures. Furthermore, despite often not being perceived as Asian, Filipinos carry a lot of Asian traditions in their heritage, making it easier for them to bond with people of Asian backgrounds. At OU, FSA meetings are known to be among the most diverse meetings for a cultural club because people of all ethnic backgrounds attend. @fsa.ou. "Isang Mahal ou fsa." Instagram, 7 nov. 2025.

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Butter, Bean, & Gold Written By: Anika Yalamanchili Illustrations: Kriti Gopi

B

ehind the warm interior and glass cases of Korean bakeries sit golden buns filled with traditional red bean paste, sweet butter cream, and matcha-flavored dough. At nearby tables, students cram for exams, kids excitedly pick out their favorite pastries, and families reconnect over coffee, the bakery quietly shifting between roles throughout the day. While it may seem like matcha red bean buns and tiramisu donuts are the advents of modern cafe culture, the roots of Korean bakeries actually stem from the aftermath of war, rapid industrialization, and globalization.

The Korean War devastated Korea, causing widespread famine and shattering agricultural production, forcing displaced communities to rely on foreign aid. After the war, U.S. food aid introduced and popularized wheat goods into a predominantly rice-based cuisine. While Koreans initially integrated wheat into familiar dishes such as sujebi (hand-torn noodle soup) and jajangmyeon (Chinese black bean wheat noodles), rapid economic growth, and government-led promotion of wheat consumption paved the way for the first distinctly “Korean” breads. Filled with red bean paste and cream cheese, and glazed with honey and sesame seeds, these breads were widely distributed through schools, to relief programs, and to government workers.

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Over time, they became beloved staples as people developed a taste for classic Korean bread: soft, slightly sweet, and airy. As pioneering Korean bakers studied at renowned French academies and returned home with classical pâtisserie techniques, French-inspired Korean bakeries began creating the treats we commonly consume today: matcha-red bean buns, cream cheese garlic bread, sweet potato bread, mocha buns, mochi donuts, and more. Soon, these bakeries became a symbol of affluence and modernity. As they made their way to the bustling streets of Los Angeles, San Jose, New York City, Dallas, and even Norman, they evolved into gathering spaces for Korean Americans, helping create communities that nurture warmth and a sense of belonging. Beyond delicious treats and trending flavors, Korean bakeries offer familiarity, comfort, and nostalgia, allowing Korean Americans to build social capital while inviting others to explore Korean culture.

Korea’s history of Japanese colonization, war and accelerated modernization left undeniable cracks in its identity and communities. While bread might not be the answer to long-held trauma and disruption, Korean bakeries offer a safe, healing abode for Korean Americans to seek connection and community. The fusion of flavors and histories in Korean bakeries is not only the gold that holds the cracks of the Korean identity together, but also what forges a new sense of identity, one red bean bun at a time.

Chung Yin Ha, et al. Effect of Flour Information (Origin and Organic) and Consumer Attitude to Health and Natural Product on Bread Acceptability of Korean Consumers. no. 5, Aug. 2017, pp. e12281–81, https://doi.org/10.1111/joss.1228 Khushbu Shah. “Pastries Born in France, Raised in South Korea.” Eater, Eater, 30 Dec. 2015, www.eater.com/2015/12/30/10685588/korean-bakery-paris-baguette-tous-les-jours Mun, Yeon-Seo, et al. “A Study on the Intakes and Perceptions of Convenient Breakfast.”

Korean Journal of Community Nutrition, vol. 16, no. 5, Korean Society of Community Nutrition, 2011, p. 559, https://doi.org/10.5720/kjcn.2011.16.5.559. Accessed 8 Feb. 2026.

Saini, Azimin. “Technique Thursdays: Why Asian Breads Are Softer than European Breads.”

MICHELIN Guide, 2017, guide.michelin.com/sg/en/article/features/technique-thursdayswhy-asian-breads-are-soft. Accessed 8 Feb. 2026.

Design Credits: Lauren Vongtharavat, Erik Phan

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THE GLUE THAT HOLDS US

Together

By David Shuang Song ng So ng ua Sh vid Da .

Dr By

Still from “Didi”

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Photo fr o

I was in the sixth grade, or maybe the seventh, when my middle school English teacher took me aside and -contrary to my assumption that I was in trouble again for spacing out during class -- lent me a copy of the young adult novel Dragonwings, which portrayed the journeys of hardscrabble Chinese immigrants in San Francisco. Having spent those years in the predominantly White world of upstate New York, I was instantly confused by her generous act. Unfortunately, I was also bored by Laurence Yep's book, already being more taken by the escapist possibilities in J. R. R. Tolkien and Isaac Asimov.

To be sure, Mrs. Hannigan was very well intentioned, and in hindsight, I can recognize the act as highly informed by culturally responsive or relevant pedagogy, the concept of which had only recently emerged during the 1990s. It was, perhaps, undertaken with the intent of cultural restoration that is evoked by kintsugi.

The apparently whole and intact objects of ethnic identity have been broken upon the moment of diaspora, and it is only through remedies of conscious cultural representation that one is able to salvage the fragments and reconstitute those objects of ethnic memory and desire.

m Pinter est

My uninterest about most things “Asian” continued into college. But Professor MacKay's class on European modernist literature in my freshman year grabbed my attention, and perhaps made me unconsciously attentive to being “Asian.” James Joyce, it turned out, raged against having to represent himself in the language of his English colonial betters. And why did Virginia Woolf keep writing, like a weirdo, about her character Lily Briscoe’s “Chinese eyes?" It was not until my senior year that I picked up an essay -- also in a literature class -by the cultural scholar Stuart Hall, the first Black author whom I judged as speaking to the realities of Asian American experience, though later was I reminded that he was a Jamaican writing in Britain. One of his best known essays on cultural identity proposes that the whole ethnolinguistic-cultural object called “identity” is no longer there, if it really ever existed at all. We really can’t excavate it. But we can, through all the postmodern techniques of hybridity and bricolage, suture the fragments into something new. Cultural remembering is an act of selecting and reactivating. Routes matter more 34 than roots.

The struggle to assert real, finite continuities of subjectivity -- of consciousness and voice -- against all the chaos of infinite objectively existing continuities and differences is one of the defining foundations of my current field, Asian American studies. The origin of the term “Asian American” comes from attempts by Chinese, Filipino, and Japanese American activists to organize themselves as a political bloc in the late 1960s era of Black Power, the American Indian Movement, and anti-imperialism. Asian American identity, it’s said, is first and foremost a political identity. It consists more of the bedizen-ing glue of kintsugi than the individual fragments, as it were.

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Or maybe that political claim is too extravagant. As quite a few sociologists would point out, many of the all-tooreal social-structural situations of Asian America are just not the ones that we Asian Americanists have idealized through the idiom that yellow peril supports Black Power. It's true that Asian Americans have, at various points, been excluded to racial ghettos, mass-incarcerated for their "race," suffered police violence; these experiences have been the grounds of Asian Americans' political alliances with Black and Latinx peoples.

But this fact also reveals the real, contemporary class differences within the category of "Asian American." Most Asian Americans are immigrants, and as Susan Koshy once pointed out, they often submit their political petitions for acceptance on the basis of being a “good immigrant,” contradistinct from racially “other” non-immigrants -paradigmatically, Black people.

Photo from Pinterest

The unsettling logic of these petitions reminds us that many Whites were also immigrant “ethnics,” unpleasantly subjected to racial ridicule before assimilating into the mainstream. It also reminds us that a great many Asian Americans are not immigrants but refugees, arriving to the United states predisposed toward quite different political potentialities and voices. Maybe, then, the category of “Asian America” really is arbitrary, or at least difficult to sustain.

That's one last implication in the imagery of kintsugi: The lacquer that coheres ordered identity against chaotic difference is golden, and therefore rare. Identities can’t be constructed willy-nilly. Certain objective facticities constrain us in subjectivity more than they animate us.

As for what that means about Asian American identity and Asian American studies, we’ll have to wait and see. But even if Asians in American abdicate the symbolic power afforded to them by both, something will be left over from the fragments.

Someone will check if there’s some lacquer in our cultural and political cupboards.

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Design Credits: Fiona Zhao

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Kintsugi, the Japanese art of finding beauty in brokenness. Once broken, now whole.

KINTSUGI Issue 15

Brought to you by Tapioka Magazine

Tapioka Magazine is Oklahoma's first publication with a focus on APIDA-MENA culture and identity. Through written and visual media, we hope to highlight Oklahoma's APIDAMENA community and celebrate its rich heritage and history.