FOREVER FOREIGNER
submitted anonymously
GROWING UP
Growing up, there weren't that many Asian American people in my elementary school, middle school, or high school Sometimes I thought it was cool that I stood out since there wasn’t that many people who looked like me. However, there were times when I felt like I was at a disadvantage when it came to socializing because I was Asian. In high school, I noticed that most people tended to socialize within their same ethnicity, same gender, and same age. I figure that’s because they feel more comfortable with people they identify with, which gives them a sense of unity. Since there weren’t that many Asian Americans, I never really fit into those groups.
I was scared to talk about the food I ate at home or the music my parents listened to because I was worried kids would think the music my parents listened to sounded "weird" because it was in a foreign language I was also worried they would think the food we ate was "strange" because they weren't accustomed to Vietnamese dishes. Because one of my parents only speaks Vietnamese, it was also difficult to talk to other kids about conversations I had with my parents. In fact, I was afraid to invite my mom to a school field trip because I thought other kids would laugh at her for not knowing how to speak English. I felt like I couldn’t fully be myself. In a way, I felt like a foreigner despite being an American. 14
One of the ways that helped me fit in was through sports. Whenever I was playing sports, it was one of the few moments where I felt like I could socialize with a large group of people. I was super eager to play any sport. However, I felt like I was at a disadvantage because there is a common stereotype that Asian American men are unathletic. When I was playing basketball, people would rarely pass me the ball. I felt like I had to play perfectly in order to be treated the same as everyone else. Other people could make mistakes, but I couldn’t afford to make them at all. Therefore, I didn’t feel like I belonged on the basketball court.
ACCEPTANCE
ACADEMICS
I tried socializing with people in the same community as me. Surprisingly, it was a different type of struggle because I didn’t feel Asian enough. There is a stereotype that Asian American men are great at math, and I felt pressured to take AP classes in High School to live up to the stereotype that was placed on me. Sometimes I would get compared to other Asian people that went to my school. This made it difficult for me “to be myself” around people because I didn’t believe I fit the Asian standard for academic excellence the way they did. Internally, I felt like I was competing against them. Stereotypically, Asian American men are expected to pursue careers in medicine, engineering, law, etc. Sometimes, I felt like a foreigner even in my own community due to my different upbringing because I couldn’t speak Vietnamese as fluently as other Vietnamese people. This made it difficult for me to initiate conversations with my friend’s parents because I was afraid they would be disappointed in the fact that I can’t speak fluent Vietnamese.
I felt this constant need for social acceptance because I wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere. I learned later in life that I had to give up on my battle for social acceptance and appreciate myself for who I am. What made me realize this was my experiences in college where I got to meet people of various different backgrounds and see how they grew and accepted themselves despite all their differences. I've learned to explore both my Vietnamese and Chinese sides of my identity not to please others but because I enjoyed learning about what made me unique. I learned to enjoy sports regardless of people’s prejudiced expectations of my ability to perform because, at the end of the day, a sport is meant to be enjoyed. As I have progressed in my journey through college, I stopped comparing myself to the “Asian standard” for academic excellence because nothing diminishes the amount of hard work I put into my future. Lastly, I learned to remove prejudices that were created by societal expectations and try to understand people as individuals. Generalizing can hurt anyone in a negative manner. Fortunately, enough, I was able to meet people that accepted me for who I am, and I was able to accept them for who they were despite our differences.
BASKETBALL 15
Everything, Everywhere, All Too Much – “Woke Hollywood” and the Asian
American Identity as Propaganda
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Michael Buckner/Variety via Getty Images
On EEAAO’s awards sweep and the all-toopolitical existence
of Asian Americans in film.
“Empty plot with colorful kung fu. Only did well because it was Asian and lesbian. Anti-white.”
By Caitlin Le
If you ’ re anything like me, the evening of March 12 was spent rewatching Everything, Everywhere, All at Once before its welldeserved sweep of the Oscars. By this time, the movie had already become the most awarded film ever – its seven Academy Awards were practically in the bag(el).
To film fanatics and EEAAO fans otherwise, these were to be predicted. Michelle Yeoh and Ke Huy Quan had already picked up trophies from the SAG Awards and Golden Globes. The Daniels and their film had been receiving critical acclaim since its limited release Logically speaking, there was no question about who would take home Best Picture and more.
Yet, questions arose. Celebrations of EEAAO’s accolades were short-lived, pushed on the back burner as arguments against “woke culture” took over. Popular reviews ranged from pushbacks against the film’s whimsical take on cultural trauma and healing:
“Bland and faux-universal life lessons… a vapor puff of corporatized fantasy.”
“The most overrated film of all time. You’ll hate it in five years.”
To blatant bigotry against the film’s cultural nuances, queer relationships, and mostly Asian cast:
“Too political. Shit movie, shit people.”
“I don’t understand how this won so many awards. I think part of it is the ‘wokeness’ aspect.”
It’s clear that, to many, the film’s success at the box office and beyond was nothing more than an assault by “woke” Hollywood. All the feats in cinematography, all the record-breaking awards, all the viral acceptance speeches – it was just “too political”.
Silly, I know. I mean, wasn’t #OscarsSoWhite trending just a few years ago due to the Academy’s lack of voter diversity? Even now, Michelle Yeoh’s Best Actress win makes her one of two to ever hold the award. Communities of color have long battled large platforms like the Oscars in the fight for equal representation, but our small victory with EEAAO has now been branded a fraud.
Our mere existence in popular film is a supposed fabrication. A fluke to promote “wokeness” in Hollywood as our world becomes more and more “anti-white”. A last-ditch marketing effort for, god forbid, the slightest tinge of cultural symbolism or ethnic influences in film d
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“This is not just for me; this is for every little girl that looks like me.... Thank you for giving me a seat at the table because so many of us need this. We want to be seen. We want to be heard. And tonight, you have shown us that it is possible.”
– Michelle Yeoh
“My journey started on a boat. I spent a year in a refugee camp and somehow I ended up here on Hollywood’s biggest stage. They say stories like this only happen in the movies. I cannot believe it’s happening to me. This, this is the American dream.”
– Ke Huy Quan
“This is for my dad who, like so many immigrant parents, died young. And he’s so proud of me not because of this [trophy], but because we made this movie with what he taught me to do…. I have great faith in our stories.”
– Jonathan Wang
“For all the little boys and girls who look like me watching tonight, this is a beacon of hope and possibilities. This is proof dream big and dreams do come true.”
– Michelle Yeoh
“And the producer said that Asians were not good enough, and they are not box office. But look at us now, huh?”
– James Hong
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And the acceptance speeches Oh god, the acceptance speeches. The unnecessary blabber about acceptance and representation and ... seriously, what the hell is a glass ceiling?
Oscar viewers were, to put it lightly, fed up with the incessant “propaganda” voiced by EEAAO’s winners. Sure, James Hong and Michelle Yeoh are absolute legends in their fields and their critical acclaim is many decades in the making, but it seemed that there was really no need for all the identity politics. Viral moments from the actors’ speeches were met with comments
about “woke leftist media" and the left's clear agenda for the indoctrination of Hollywood.
To many, the few quotes shown have proven just how anti-white American society had become. Even though EEAAO was the only majorly awarded film this season to have a majority-POC cast, its success still felt like a blow to "normal" Hollywood culture. We used to be a proper country, you know – why can’t we do the wright thing anymore?
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Michael Buckner/Variety via Getty Images
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interviewers: Anthony Nguyen
Kaella Glenn
photographer: Kaly Phan
length and clarity 21
All interviews have been edited for
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Can you introduce yourself, for those who may not know you?
For those who do not know me, my name is Vivian Hua, and I’m a junior studying Health and Exercise Science with a focus on premedicine. I’m a first-generation Vietnamese American. The organizations that I’m a part of are the Vietnamese Student Association and alpha Kappa Delta Phi International Sorority, Incorporated. My hobbies include playing tennis, as well as the piano. I’m also a brownblack belt in Karate. I have two younger sisters and a dog-child named Suki. She’s a Yorkie, so she can be a little aggressive
Could you tell us about your platform? What influenced you to choose it as your platform, and why are you passionate about it?
This made me passionate about helping those other girls who feel the same way, who feel scared of these realities of sex trafficking and modern slavery. We actually hosted a few workshops, where we got to teach young girls how to defend and take care of themselves.
At the pageant, you mentioned that you were interested in providing self-defense workshops for students here at OU?
My platform is bringing awareness and advocating against sex trafficking and modern slavery. The reason that I picked these as my platform is because I’ve been pretty passionate about these two topics for a while now.
Sex tracking and modern slavery are so prominent in Asian countries. My parents come from Vietnam, where there is this scary reality that sex trafficking is so prominent. Anyone can be taken in the nighttime and be gone by the next morning. And, hearing these stories, my parents were scared for my safety, even coming to the States and wanting me to learn how to protect myself. As a result, they put me through Karate. In my dojo, we were taught how to take care of ourselves – how to better protect ourselves and protect our loved ones.
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When it comes to anything that I’m fighting for, I really want to put forth that transformative action. With these self-defense workshops, it’d be open to anyone who’s wanting to come learn just some simple self-defense techniques, like wrist locks here and there.
I’d want it to be casual, but to also provide a sense of safety in knowing that you’ll be able to go out in the middle of the night and feel fully confident in being able to defend yourself. Or, maybe, just being aware, watching your surroundings. You don’t need to be able to throw someone to the ground. It can just be as simple as checking your peripheral vision
For the pageant, I know that it was a very extensive process. Could you tell us about some of your most memorable experiences along this journey?
Oh my god, I have so many, and some are so inappropriate. Well, honestly, just first meeting the girls. A few of us already knew each other, but not to the extent that we know each other now. All the different diverse personalities and learning where each girl came from, what organizations they were a part of, and just coming together for this pageant. It was really interesting to find out how well I worked with these girls, and, honestly, every dance practice was so fun.
It felt very natural to get along with them and to talk to them Like, we’ll just be laying on the floor of the dance practice room, and we ’ re just laughing about the most random things. I’ll always remember this very memorable experience.
Some people may know you as “Vivian, the Asian Royalty,” but you’re also called the “Möge Queen.” As a bobarista at MögeTee down the street, what’s your go-to drink?
So definitely, my favorite drink to order is the Crème Brûlée Uji Matcha with crystal boba. I have an unhealthy addiction to it because our matcha has condensed milk in it, and condensed milk can get a little sugary, you know.
You’ve probably made hundreds of drinks at this point. What’s the most absurd order that you’ve ever seen?
I had someone order a Brown Sugar Milk Tea, right? But, with no boba. She just wanted the brown sugar syrup. And not only did she want that, but she also wanted crème brulee. Extra crème brûlée.
I think my favorite memory with them was whenever we had our photoshoot. We went downtown and we're just hyping each other up. Then, we went to Perets downtown, and we were just eating ice cream and drinking coffee together.
This one customer saw that I was swirling it, and she asked me about how much was in there I showed her, and she’s like, “Can you add another scoop?” Because she did tell me to put extra, I thought I’d just add another half-scoop. She wanted another scoop, and then, she asked me to add a little more. In my mind, I was thinking, “Girl, did you just want crème brulee with a side of boba?”
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I gave it to her, and then, she ordered cheese foam with it. Maybe it would taste good, but I feel like it would be very sugary. That was an expensive drink, because you ’ re paying for the Brown Sugar boba and the cheese foam and all that crème brulee, too. Anyways, I hope that lady had a nice day.
When I was at home, I was expected to put family first, as the oldest sibling of my family. I always had to make sure I was taking care of my siblings. I had to be the example for them.
It was rough because of that weight on your shoulders You’re the first daughter in a Vietnamese immigrant family, so it was rough when it came to responsibilities. You’re expected to do well in school, manage your social life, take care of your mental health, you know. So, at points, I wish I was a little bit easier on myself, but I can also see it as a way of conditioning myself on how to handle things now that I’m older.
I guess the trauma that we build up from our parents, it can be rough. Sometimes, we just want to scream and blame them, ask “Why are we so messed up?” But the trauma is what made us to be who we are today. Obviously, all that trauma – I’m not saying that it did us good – but it helped us survive or adjust to whatever tough situations we ’ re in when it comes to college.
Were you surrounded by any Vietnamese American communities growing up, or were you more isolated from that?
To be honest, I was very isolated from it. A lot of my friends were not Vietnamese Americans until about my junior or senior year of high school. In my grade specifically, we didn’t have any Vietnamese Americans.
And moving away from boba, as a Vietnamese American, what impact has your Vietnamese roots had upon your life so far?
I joined Key Club at Mustang in my junior year. Key Club at Mustang was also known as “the Asian Club,” since it was seen as a bunch of over-achieving Asian kids.
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But, at Key Club, I met people that were Vietnamese American, and I really liked hanging out with these people. I think meeting these people helped me feel more comfortable in my own skin, and it led me to really want to be more accepting of my culture when I came to college.
At Mustang, you don’t really have things that emphasize the Asian American community. Coming to OU, I really wanted to be a part of that. I wanted to do something that got me involved with the Asian American community.
Growing up in a white-dominant city like Mustang, was there any type of culture shock coming into OU, now that you’re surrounded by people who are like yourself?
I think the major shock was how so many people related to me. When I really struggled in high school, I just covered it up. I didn’t want to look like I was struggling or weak. I think in college, since we are surrounded by people who have similar backgrounds to us, we ’ re able to let that out and relate to weird things. Like, “Remember when your mom used to hit you with the broom? Oh, me too!”
Little things like that, which you wouldn’t be able to connect with people about in high school. Just coming to OU and seeing that there were people who are literally just like me, that made me comfortable. To be able to express myself and be more open and be more confident.
I would tell myself to be more confident and to take more chances, but don’t bite off more than you can chew.
Of course, it's good to be involved, but get involved in things where you’ll be able to give your 110% and not half-ass it. You just have to go for it and know that you have a support system with people who are in the same shoes as you, so you ’ re not alone.
And final question, what legacy would you hope to have as Asian Royalty?
As OU Asian Royalty, I want to leave a legacy of transformative change and action. I know that it’s easy to say what you want to do, but it’s a matter of committing action toward those ideas. I want to be remembered as someone who didn’t just do her job, but as someone who did more than her job
It seems like you’ve done a lot of growing here at OU. Looking back, what advice would you want to give to your freshman self?
With my platform, like I told you earlier, I want to do hands-on things and get all the community involved. Of course, I want to cater to the Asian American community because they are my family, but, for sex trafficking and modern slavery, there are so many people that have dealt with things like this, but they don’t have an open space to talk about it. So, not only do I want to enact change, but I want to be that person that everyone knows as, “Oh hey, that’s Vivian, I feel comfortable to come talk to her about something that is bothering me or stressing me out.” I’d hope I’d at least be able to leave that as my legacy.
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Could you tell us a little bit about yourself and how you got interested in OU Asian Royalty?
Yeah, of course. Growing up and being around my mom, she was always a big fashionista-type of person and really liked to design stuff, which I enjoyed. I like dressing up for fun, but I decided to go for OUAR when I started to get to know people reaching out, expanding my networking and making new friends. I met Ariana, the [AASA] Pageant chair last semester and through just knowing her, I started applying for OUAR. I had seen the pageant last year through people posting about it and I was like, “What if I ever ran next year?” I never thought I would, but here I am today.
I was debating on it, and I talked to my very close Aunt Sarah and she told me that for context, she goes to a small regional university in New York if she had this opportunity she would love to go for it, but she doesn’t so I should take it. So, I did.
Could you tell us about your platform? What influenced you to choose it as your platform, and why are you passionate about it?
Mine ties into my social work major. It’s to promote better holistic well-being, so not only just mentally, but also physically, socially, and financially I know mental health is important in our community and it’s very stigmatized and I do agree that it’s important since it’s part of my platform and I just feel there are so many other things that could be affecting people that could cause that kind of bad mental state. For example, they could be struggling financially which could cause anxiety.
At OU, we have all these resources given to us and I still hope to promote those resources like the ADRC [Accessibility and Disability Resource Center] and Goddard, but I want to think about what happens when we graduate from OU because we won’t have those available to us anymore. So, I thought it’d be nice to use my background to provide outside resources like social services. Those usually do help out a lot, but a lot of people don’t know they have access unless a specific case is assigned to them or a social worker assigned to them.
What excites you most about this journey you’re now starting on?
I would say going to different events and meeting new people, which I've kind of already started on that journey. Especially, like Eve of Nations, for example, I got to meet so many new people. It’s a multicultural event to showcase the different countries that we have represented here at OU through dance and culture. It was really cool to see, like when they were doing their fashion show, at the beginning of each group, they had their flag representing their country.
I mean, it’s been only three weeks, but you’re already doing so many events. How do you manage all of them?
I have a whiteboard actually, listing all my outfits and stuff After I got crowned on Sunday, that Friday, my mom and I went to the mall because she was like, “You got to look nice and make my makeup look presentable, channel your girly side.” It was really funny, but also exciting. There’re so many more events I have to attend as royalty, but I will say, it’s really cool to see the other pageants.
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What do you hope to accomplish as OU Asian Royalty this year?
I guess just being able to provide those resources. I admit, I’m still learning about them through my major and my classes, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help. I want to be able to spread more awareness and help people on how to navigate those resources. I also just want people to see that there is a South Asian person up there, holding a coveted title. I don’t know if there's anyone before Ryna, one of the Royalty from last year, but it’s so cool being able to be the next in line and continuing that trend of South Asian representation.
As the first Bengali American to be crowned, what type of impact are you hoping to have upon OU’s Bengali American community?
I just want to let them know that there's someone out there that can be in a position like this. I know there’s not a lot of Bengali people here, but I still want to let them know that we can make it just like anybody else. Like, for example, my dad grew up in Bangladesh, did college in India, and came here in the 90s as an aeronautical engineer. He quit his job and became a business manager and had to work his way up. But, like, he made it. We built our own house. I want to be able to show others that we are to make it too and that there’s someone here to represent them
So, in preparing for OU Asian Royalty, what sort of aspects of your culture did you have to learn and tap into? I know there was a dance section and a language section.
About the language section, I have lost a lot of my Bengali. Growing up, I used to know how to speak Bengali really well because my grandma would take care of me when my mom was out working. After getting into a new family and all, I lost a lot of language. It’s been hard to communicate with my grandma and my family I still know it pretty well. I can understand Bengali just fine, I just can’t speak as well. I know things like, “My name is this,” “I am majoring in this,” and “I’m in my second year. ” Stuff like that.
Talent-wise, I didn’t have to learn much. I think I just gained all that from going to classes and performing
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Could you tell me more about your dancing experience, and how you started and developed?
When I lived in Texas, my mom would teach me and the rest of our extended family down there. It was me and a bunch of other little girls, and we performed at weddings for fun and Bangladeshi New Year. Then, we moved to Oklahoma and we got more involved with the Bangladeshi community here So, my mom would teach us traditional Bengali folk dances.
And at what age did you start dancing?
I started professionally dancing when I was 12, but I would say I was around six or seven years old when I got into Bengali dancing.
Why did you feel that it was important to continue learning to dance and to continue those sorts of practices? Did it come kind of naturally just because your family’s so invested?
I would say it was just cool being able to continue that legacy with my mom dancing. I didn't realize how big the form of Indian classical dance I did was, which is called Bharatanatyam. It’s a big thing because you typically learn this type of dance for eight to 12 years and, at the end of those, you do a big graduation called Arangetram where you can do a solo, duet or a group graduation. I did a solo for myself and I danced for two hours straight It was a big celebratory event and it just shows how professional you've grown.
My dance teacher would also teach other forms of dance, like Gujrati and Rajasthani. It helped a lot that I wasn’t just stuck in classical mode I got to do Bollywood and other stuff.
Was there ever a point where you sort of had a fusion of those different styles?
I’ve never done that besides the Bengali folk dance I’ve done. I will say, the type of Indian classical dance I do, Bharatanatyam, is one of the oldest dance forms, so a lot of other dance forms tend to originate from there and, in that way, they’re a fusion because they have different, like, influenced aspects so to speak
You were talking about places you’ve lived before coming to Oklahoma. What were those places?
Just New York. Queens, New York specifically, so I’m a city girl. And also Plano, Texas.
What was the transition like going from New York City to Texas to here?
I was really young, but I remember a lot because I remember being with my family there. I remember just waking up one morning, my mom taking me to the airport and then we ’ re in Texas all of a sudden. Then, we ’ re at a Toyota car center getting a new car. And, so, my mom was a single mom and, when she was at work, my grandma would take care of me. She was basically like my babysitter. I don't know why we moved, but I figured things were getting expensive and other things like that.
Then we moved to Plano, Texas for a bit, which was nice. I kind of worry about what I would have grown up to be if I was still living there. . It was my mom, my grandma and I in a little apartment.
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In Texas, I did kindergarten through second grade there, and then my mom and my stepdad married and I got step-siblings. I was so happy about that because I was an only child and I just wanted someone to play with. I went from being an only child to being a middle child since my step-sister is older and my step-brother is younger So, you know, not the oldest, not the youngest, just in the middle, but it’s nice and I’m really close with my stepdad and my stepsiblings.
Then, third grade comes around and I don’t know if I had any negative experiences transitioning to south Oklahoma City It was just an experience.
Were you able to find a community here at OU, or Oklahoma as a whole?
I guess I would say I hope that all went well, and that it’s not just been a journey, but a ride Also, remember, the important part is to look back on this and realize all the accomplishments you've done, and know you crushed it.
And final question, what legacy would you hope to have as Asian Royalty?
Oh okay, wow. As far as legacy goes, the representation stuff is super important. I know after I got crowned, the AASA exec members came up to me and told me about a girl from California who is considering going to OU. She had seen my talent and was like, “I do that too!” That’s what it’s about, just being able to draw people in and be like, “Hey, it’s not all scary or one race here. There’re so many different backgrounds and ethnicities,” And I believe that they can do whatever they want to do.
In general, you don’t see small ethnic groups like Bangladeshi being represented, especially at big universities. Like, yeah, at OU, we have the Indian Student Association, we have the Pakistani Students Association, and we do have a student association of Bangladesh. However, it’s primarily catered towards grad students, and I don’t really see undergrads there.
But I met Ariana and Nafisa, and I knew Syeda beforehand because she’s one of the people I knew beforehand from the community. We were even considering living in the dorms together at one point.
What message would you like to send your future self a year from now, for when you pass on the crown to whoever is next?
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Travis Caperton / The University of Oklahoma 35
T THE
ivan ma nate reese
Lexie N 36
Anthony Nguy Caitlin Le
Kelvin
Aiman Saleemi Biomedical Engineering Kaylin Duong Biology
Tan Huynh Finance Rae Lane Aerospace Engineer
Vinh Nguyen Mechanical Engineering
Bella Pham Psychology
Seth Phung History & Economics
Lal Sim Biology & P
Frank Ocean
Nguyen
n Yang
Amy Nguyen
Kaella Glenn
Kaly Phan
Susan Luc
Emma Nguyen
tan huynh
Lana Nguyen
GRAPHICDESIGNER Amelia Torrevillas-Brown
HISTORIAN Bella Pham
OUROYALTY
Lina Thai
FRESHMANREP
Paul Nguyen
FRESHMANREP
Maria de Asis
LIVEMUSICNIGHTCHAIR
Dim Zuun
FRESHMANREP
Annie Nguyen
VPEXTERNAL Sydney Wong
VPINTERNAL Oliver Wu
PRESIDENT
Margaret Le
DIRECTOROFPHILANTHROPY
Brittney Luong
LUNARNEARYEARCHAIR
Syeda Sayera
ASIANFOODFAIRCHAIR Sana Arshad
FRESHMANREP Ryna Zubair
