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Hot Press has partnered with Lyons tea and Pieta House suicide and self-harm crisis centres for this very special supplement, Now We’re Talking. As a result of this unique three-way collaboration, 30,000 copies of this special edition are being made available free, in colleges and at events all over Ireland in the run-up to World Mental Health Day on October 10th. Together, we have reached out to musicians, writers, singers, actors, broadcasters, sports stars, and other well-known public figures, with the aim of taking the dialogue about mental health onto a new level in Ireland. The response to our call has been staggering, thought-provoking and at times deeply-moving, as people stepped forward with great honesty and generosity to share their experiences – and their knowledge. In this special 24-page publication, a 100-strong chorus of Ireland’s brightest talents talk openly about an issue, with which people are faced every single day in this country. Now we’re talking…
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NOW WE'RE TALKING
The Town Hall Gathering
A PANEL DISCUSSION ON THE THEME OF MENTAL HEALTH FEATURING AND INCLUDING CONTRIBUTIONS FROM
EOGHAN McDERMOTT BROADCASTER
DR. CIARA KELLY
GP, BROADCASTER AND COLUMNIST
Now We’re Talking
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DR. NIALL CRUMLISH
CONSULTANT PSYCHIATRIST AT ST. JAMES’S HOSPITAL DUBLIN
BRIAN HIGGINS
CEO OF PIETA HOUSE
EMMET KIRWAN ACTOR / POET
MODERATOR: STUART CLARK FEATURING PERFORMANCES BY LISA HANNIGAN STEPHANIE RAINEY WYVERN LINGO SMOCK ALLEY OCTOBER 10TH, DOORS 7PM
For tickets to the event go to Hotpress.com Follow HotPress/Lyonstea Social Media #nowweretalking
Why are LYONS supporting Pieta House? We know how effective tea can be as a means of starting a conversation, even the most difficult ones. That’s why for the past three years LYONS have been committed to ending the stigma often attached to mental health issues in Ireland through their partnership with Pieta House. LYONS have been working directly with Pieta House to drive awareness of the services they provide and start a bigger conversation. Joining forces with HOT PRESS was the obvious choice to get the conversation started.
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To mark this partnership Pieta House will take over packs of Lyons 80’s Original during the month of October to encourage people to open up and talk about their mental health. PIETA HOUSE Through its network of centres nationwide, Pieta House offers counselling and support free of charge. If in crisis call 1800 247 247 see their website www.pieta.ie or email to mary@pieta.ie
his truly feels like one of those extraordinary moments. We put out a call for musicians, artists, writers, broadcasters, sports stars, and more, to talk about mental health issues. We knew what we wanted. But, honestly, we didn’t know what to expect. Would individuals be willing to step forward? How much would they be prepared to share? There were so many imponderables... It wasn’t a complete long shot. For a number of years now, Lyons Tea, Pieta House and Hot Press have been concerned with the challenges surrounding mental health in Ireland. Lyons Tea & Pieta House originally joined forces with the aim of inspiring new and liberating conversations about mental health. Of getting people talking. For our part, Hot Press has written extensively about the issue. We have talked to many interviewees about the difficulties they have faced in their own lives and how they dealt – or tried to deal – with them. We too wanted to open up lines of communication. To create a fresh awareness. But also a sense of solidarity. We are all in this together. Which is why Lyons Tea, Pieta House and Hot Press decided to join forces: together, we believed that we could potentially achieve something truly special. Now Weʼre Talking is the result. As a standalone 24-page magazine, Now Weʼre Talking is being distributed free in colleges across Ireland as we speak, and at various events in advance of, and on, World Mental Health Day, on October 10, 2018. It also forms a key part of the Hot Press Mental Health Special Issue, which you are holding in your hands. Some of the contributions to Now Weʼre Talking come from interviews done by Hot Press on the theme in recent times. You know reading it, for example, that it would be hard to improve on the wise and spontaneous words spoken in the course of a much longer and powerfully honest conversation with Costa Prize-winning author Sebastian Barry. The majority, however, have been freshly minted. Initially, the response to our call seemed slow. We wondered might people prove to be reticent. Then the tsunami hit. As we read the often brilliantly lucid accounts coming in, it seemed that something unique was indeed taking shape before our eyes. People came at the issue from different angles. They wrote about themselves. About their families. About their friends. They described life-changing experiences. They recalled the pits of despair. They offered advice. They delivered poetic words. They opened our eyes. What follows here across the pages of Now Weʼre Talking, and in our Mental Health Special Issue, is frequently revelatory, often sage, generally inspiring and at times deeply, and profoundly, moving. Most crucially, the cumulative effect is that, collectively, the contributors to Now Weʼre Talking have made a huge, powerful and irresistible statement. That you are not alone in your struggle. That we are all, genuinely, in this together. That there is much healing to be done. But also, that we are opening up as a nation. Read it. You will emerge on the other side wiser – and far more informed and ready to join in the conversation.
Now we’re talking.
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Depression has nothing to do with success and it doesn’t give a damn about how your day went.
01. Síona Cahill President USI “You’re doing great!” I’m told. Sometimes, while I nod and thank whoever is saying it, I feel awfully ashamed. Like to be fair, I’m rarely not looking absolutely DELIGHTED in photos, to the point that people remark on the ‘laugh’ I have in them and how happy and positive I always come across. And I’m always up to something, because I have an incredible job, and I know I’m lucky. Yet, what people probably don’t know is how often anxiety consumes my life - so much sometimes that I can barely move. Because of my position, a lot of what I do is pretty public, or I track it on social media myself to communicate what I’m up to, and I love sharing my life online with others. But I rarely, if ever, show people when I’m not doing so great – like when getting to the shower in the morning is a gagantuan struggle, or I’m not sure how I’ll face the day at all, or how I run to stand in an empty toilet cubicle to get my breathing level, and how much of the time my urge is to hide and curl up and not talk to anyone, even though I absolutely love what I do. Instead, I guess like most people, I share the wins, the successes, and the funny escapes and awkward situations – and you know what? We spend our whole time, particularly online, comparing ourselves with others, and most of
the time it’s so subconscious we don’t realise we’re doing it; nor how we are damaging ourselves and each other when we focus our lives on responding to that. For years, I’ve had to battle on and off with what feels like a bag of sugar pressing down on my chest, and it’s only recently that I’ve started to name it, to flag it with friends and colleagues, and to try and deal with how ashamed I was of my mental health being a weakness or a flaw, rather than part of me, a part of me I will always have to work on, and sometimes need help with.
“You’re not alone, and your mental state doesn’t own you, but you have to curate it, and respond to its needs.” No one is a machine, no matter how much perceived pressure they’re under, what work they’re doing or at what level. We’re human, and we can suffer with stuff and through stuff, and no one is more deserving than any other of anxiety, or sadness, or depression. You’re not alone, and your mental state doesn’t own you, but you have to curate it, and respond to its needs. And when you need to, reach out for help. That’s how I do it, and I know I’m a work in progress. When I talk about Mental Health in terms of a ‘battle’, nothing about the day to day living of that actually feels ‘epic’ per se, because so much of the time spent constrained by anxiety or sadness feels like as if you’re losing. But that’s the thing. By recognising it, and running against that urge to curl up, you’re winning. Bit by bit, day after day, facing the world, you’re winning, because you are also a work in progress – and that’s worth fighting for, every damn day.
02. Gary Lightbody Snow Patrol At my lowest I didn’t leave the house. For weeks. Upon weeks. Modern life has made it very easy to not need to go outside. Websites and apps will bring you groceries, take-out food and household supplies. You can bunker in like a champ. I didn’t want to speak to anyone. I didn’t want to see anyone. Neither did I want anyone to see me like that. I felt like I was falling. Nonstop. In darkness. People would call and text but I wouldn’t answer. Friends, bless their hearts, tried to reach me but I didn’t want to be found. Cut to today when I’m writing this, even though I know I went through that, in a lot of ways I feel like I’m writing about someone else. Not that I don’t have days when I feel low anymore; of course I do. I just know better how to pull myself out of it. The thing that pulled me from the darkness was talking about it. With close friends and then a therapist. Talking about the things that I have always been so afraid of saying out loud for fear of being rejected by my friends and family. I told them what had plagued my mind for years and no one ran for the hills. In fact a few close friends are the reason I’m still here today. Saying the first words about it seem like an impossible notion. It gets much easier as you go though. Therapy or counselling still perhaps have a stigma attached to them in Ireland. We are supposed to just get on with things and ‘catch ourselves on’. Sure there are a lot of times when we do need to just get on with things; however, there should also be a balance in our lives where we can take care of our mental health. I’ve lived with depression since I was a teenager. I didn’t talk to anyone about it and I let it run my life in the background. Some nights after playing gigs I had enjoyed immensely to thousands of people I’d be lying on the hotel room floor crying my eyes out and not knowing why, but I’d still not speak to anyone about it. Depression has nothing to do with success and it doesn’t give a damn about how your day went. It just lives in you like a poison. I was 40-years-old before I began addressing it. Talking about it isn’t an exact science and it is not a cure-all, but it is a great start and I feel better today than I have my whole life. It’s no coincidence that that change coincided with me starting, finally, to talk about the demons that had lived in my mind for more than two decades.
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-Jack O’Rourke
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Hayley Louisa Brown
I’ve learnt that the mind is a universe filled with both joy and possibilities, and trauma and dread. We all need to be mindful of our own and others’ mental health.
3. Judith Owen I’ve always felt very fortunate to have had music to pull me from the edge, all my life. We all need a way to express ourselves, voice our inner pain, expose our secrets. It’s why so many performers chose this path of self-medication. After years in the dark and a long road to recovery, I’m finally on the other side. And I’m here to say there’s life after – and with – depression. I’ve lost so many years, but I’m grateful to have the rest of my life. I’ll always yearn for the applause, but these days I feel equally alive seeing a beautiful sunset, or being greeted by my dog when I come home…
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5. Kate Tempest Poet & Author
The cities that we live in, the times we live in, they’re not well – these times are sick. The sensible, healthy response to the way we live is depression, anxiety and so on. It’s the logical conclusion, so I’m glad that your magazine is opening up these issues up in a way that doesn’t feel cloying, barbed or judgemental. In my own life I’ve found certain things to be very useful. Creativity of course, and also exercise, even if it’s a strange thing to do when you don’t even feel like getting up. And also reading and listening to music. It’s good to feel a part of this massive community that goes back thousands of years, who left all of these beautiful pieces just for you to find.
6. Jack O’Rourke Singer-songwriter
I’ve learnt that the mind is a universe filled with both joy and possibilities, and trauma and dread. We all need to be mindful of our own and others’ mental health. Kindness and compassion go a long way in this fastpaced world of chrome and steel. As the great songwriter John Prine sang, “Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios” – we all must have our aerials tuned to our psyches and those around us and to try a little tenderness. Music offers solace. For the month that’s in it, Aretha’s voice is currently playing in my ears asking “to find an angel”. We all need a few in our lives: mortal ones can always do fine.
4. Mike Hoye We have lost friends to suicide. Friends who in their minds could not see any other option. Leaving behind family, friends, partners and children. Mental illness doesn’t just affect the person suffering, it affects everyone around them, who are then left questioning why, for the rest of their lives. There isn’t a day goes by that we don’t think about it. Our personal experience with mental health issues are painful to talk about, but it is one of the most important things to do. Talk to each other, open up and don’t carry it on your own. Pick up the phone, call, text. Let someone know that you need help. Break the stigma, speak.
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Andy Hughes
Mindriot
7. Ciaran Lavery
Singer
I’m your son, your daughter, your mum or dad. I’m your friend, your work colleague, the life of the party, the clown, the stranger on the street. I’m the waiter, the pilot, the builder, the self-employed businessman, the person in line at the dole office. I’m human. I’m not indestructible. I struggle and sometimes I fall. But I’m me. Can you see me?
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9. Clare Sands
Singer-songwriter 'One person's madness is another person's reality.' I don't know if it's music that makes us 'mad', or if us musicians and artists are so drawn to this form of expression because we need to escape our madness. The Charlie Parkers, the Hank Williams, the Kurt Cobains of the world. You and I. Our world is a world similar to Alice's. A magical wonderland. Filled with mad hatters, and most of all, uncertainty. These worlds differ too. We don't have a Mad Hatter tea party to discuss what's going on in our lives and jobs and minds. Instead, we have some sort of impersonal internet page, where people sometimes post articles on musicians and mental health, but it is mainly used for personal gain eg. 'Come see my band in Cork’. We need support. Especially for all of us mad hatters – the ones who need it most.
8. Conor O’Brien Villagers
It’s easy to be a highly functioning alcoholic. I big time went through that phase when we were touring our second album. If I’d kept following that path of destruction for another few years, I’d have been a gigantic mess. I was drinking insane amounts every day because I was depressed – and becoming more depressed because I was drinking insane amounts every day! On top of that, I was taking steroids to get through the show every night, and antibiotics because my body was so run down. By the end of the tour I couldn’t sleep because of stomach pains. I went to the doctor and they said, “Are you taking anything?” I was like, “Eight steroids a day.” These things are so easy to slip into. I’m lucky because I’m at that mid-level of success – Domino trust that I’m working behind the scenes all the time, and aren’t snapping their fingers going, “Where’s the next hit?” I can’t imagine what it’s like if you’re in a boy-band or whatever and someone’s saying, “We need you to have two number ones before Christmas to keep the shareholders happy.” Apart from going to the doctor, which is always a good idea, I’ve started cycling, doing yoga and dancing more when I go out. Physicality is a huge thing in keeping your mind well. I’ve moderated my drinking, and undergone a bit of a digital detox: I got addicted to my phone for two years and stopped reading books and using my brain in any non-compartmentalised way. I’d be scrolling through tweets before bedtime and getting wound up by Trump’s latest insane pronouncement or what was happening in Syria. Now unless I’m using it as an alarm, the phone doesn’t go to bed with me.
All emotions are useful, all emotions can act as guides: we must listen to our bodies and listen closely to our minds! -David Keenan
10. David Keenan Singer-songwriter Mental health. What do those words conjure up within me? I’ll take you back to a time when I was younger and had never before heard those two words together as one. The word mental – used to describe an individual, yes – but mental health as a term for me at the time would have seemed like some prescribed utterance from the mouth of a twisted doctor in a Hitchcock film. I am 17, we are in Dundalk. Over time, the term became more familiar to me, but still only as a vague brushstroke which was trying to define the indefinable, for no one can see through another’s eyes or live inside another’s mind. During frequent periods of blackness I would bury myself in a shallow grave of loneliness, isolation and terrifying self-doubt, partly because of a lack of trust in all that claimed to be reality, or at least what I assumed reality should be. It was during such times that I began to write like, for want of a better term, a madman. For it was through my wrestling with this shadow self in a creative arena that I discovered that it could be if not eradicated, then dampened, managed, maintained from time to time – the process became cathartic, like the shedding of dead leaves. It is still present and always will be, for it's an integral part of who I am, a natural symptom of the human condition and it must not be repressed! All emotions are useful, all emotions can act as guides: we must listen to our bodies and listen closely to our minds!
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11. Darren Morrissey Morrissey & Marshall
“Understand we are all connected. You’re not on your own.”
I, like many others, have experienced mental health issues first hand, both with my own mind and with family members and friends. Our song ‘High And Low’ tells the story of a very close family member, their battles with depression and how ‘Here’s a pill, go and sedate yourself’ always seems to be reaction if you tell a doctor you’re not feeling good. I’m not saying that it doesn’t work, but it doesn’t work for everyone. There are so many alternatives, and effective ways of keeping yourself mentally healthy. I have an Ayurvedic daily routine that’s working for me at the moment. I’ve also recently started studying CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) and plan to study mindfulness too, in the hope of helping even just one person. Finally, I think one of the most comforting thoughts to have if you are experiencing a problem with your mental health, is to understand we are all connected. You’re not on your own. •Darren Morrissey, Left
“Sometimes I just need to step away from the world and find a little head space.”
13. Fiachna Ó Braonáin Hothouse Flowers I will never forget the best advice I was given when I thought I was going out of my mind with sadness and hurt: “Play from your wounded place”. It was such a simple gateway to an alchemy that transformed many moments for me. Moments when I felt my mental health was fragile and under strain. I’ve never felt the need to share this except on a one-to-one level with friends in a smilier boat, but as we are going through an evolutionary and revolutionary time in so many ways, these things are best aired openly. So I’ll speak it gently from this page: “Play from your wounded place”. That is literally how to dispel the blues.
14. John Boyne Author 12. Darragh Nolan There’s a little refrain in the middle of the Stars song ‘Your Ex Lover is Dead’ that I sometimes call upon when it seems like everything is upside down: “Live through this, and you won’t look back”. I just gotta make it though the next little bit, take life one day at a time or one hour at a time, depending on what’s needed. Live in manageable compartments of time. Sometimes I just need to step away from the world and find a little head space. I’m one of the lucky ones though. It’s manageable. For some, it’s not. If it’s not, talk to people, seek help, do whatever you can to make it that little bit better. Tiny steps. Tinier make them feel heard and listened to and understood.
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Alex Sapienza
Sacred Animals
I've been taking anti-depression medication on and off since 2000 and, during that time, the strength of the tablets has varied. In the last couple of years, it's been quite high. For a few years before that, it was quite low. There were times I made the mistake of trying to wean myself off them, mistakenly thinking that I could cope without assistance, but I've come to realise that I have a basic serotonin deficiency and need to supplement it rather than try to live with a low level. In my professional life, I'm driven, ambitious and disciplined; in my personal life, I'm emotionally weak, overly sensitive and prone to feeling great upset at what should be minor setbacks. Like most of us, I have scars that refuse to heal and some days the scar tissue is more inflamed than others. So I take my medication, I talk to my family and friends, and I share my stories while listening to others.
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15. Shane Wearen The Pale We should never take our mental health for granted: our mental state requires regular attending to, and there are many forms and techniques for doing so. For some, it’s counselling, group therapy, meditation, yoga or the practice of mindfulness. For others, it’s just a walk in the park. We give so much of our time to maintaining how we physically appear to others: our dress style, our physical appearance, our taste in music, books, film etc. Our mental state deserves as much attention, if not more.
I am in my midthirties, and have achieved a certain degree of success in the world. However, the struggle against anxiety and psychic torment - the struggle for sanity - has not abated; in some ways it has intensified. Throughout my early twenties I underwent therapy and resisted the temptation to commit suicide. Recently I began seeing a therapist again. The idea of feeling ashamed of any of this remains quite alien to me. Life is painful, the world is frightening. We live in times of foreboding and chaos. Sanity seems to me a fragile and tentative construction. Still, there are sources of light, love, solace. Kindness is as real as cruelty. The effort to create art, like the effort to lessen the agony of others, is honourable, and redeems a painful existence. The challenge is to find a way to say ‘Yes’ to life, even in all its suffering. I’m working on it.
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16. Gavan Hennigan Adventurer
After I took the tablets, I went to casualty and I told them what happened. I rang this woman who was a facilitator for our group – I used to go to this group after rehab every week – and she took me in and committed me for a couple of weeks. I spent two weeks in there. It wasn’t a nice place. It’s funny, at the time – well, not funny but – I thought, “Oh, no! I’ve definitely got some psychiatric problems like my dad”. I almost wanted to have something because I thought that there needed to be some description of why I was such a mess. I wanted some medical term to describe it. I think, looking back, what I needed to do was stay clean and sober for a period and try and have a bit of stability, which did come from staying clean and sober. And that was like the foundation for the life I have today. I’ve had incredible highs in the last 15 years: I’ve been across seven continents; I’ve done some amazing things; so, naturally there’s going to be ups and downs. Look, whenever I’m a little bit like that, I try to look after myself and talk to others, and not feed into it and believe the stuff in my head.
In 2017, We Banjo 3 played to over 300,000 people live across the US on a tour titled Light In The Western Sky, which was based on the idea that in the darkest of hours, there’s always a glimmer of hope to cling to. The show centered on a song called ‘Don’t Let Me Down’, which our singer David Howley wrote about his own struggles with mental health and depression. The reaction to the tour was overwhelming, night after night meeting survivors and the bereaved, people struggling who were moved by the acknowledgement of mental health issues. We didn’t fully anticipate the extent to which our music would connect with people, or the extent of their suffering. Our new album Haven is an expansion of that theme; that music is a refuge for people, and that our role as musicians is to provide a few hours of fun, joy and connection in a deeply conflicted world. We grew to understand that people seek connection above all else, and as a band, we have a unique opportunity and maybe responsibility, to do just that. Connect. It’s the magic essence of a great live show.
19. Allison McGrath Singer-Songwriter Mental health: Let’s Break the Stigma Just because I smile doesn’t mean I’m happy Just because I say I’m okay doesn’t mean I am Just because I’m silent doesn’t mean there’s a storm raging inside of me Just because I say I want to be alone doesn’t mean I do... Be still, be quiet and perhaps you may see the hidden turmoil. Never assume to know what’s going on in someone’s head Try and read between the lines and listen
Katrhin Baumbach
17. Rob Doyle Author
•Kaz, left, Maeve- Molly, right
20. KAZ Vulpynes As someone who has suffered from depression and anxiety all of my life, it is so, so important – now more than ever – to break this awful stigma and talk more openly about it. It affects me personally every single day and people need to realise and know that they are not alone – and that unfortunately about 1 in 5 people will suffer a mental illness at some point in their lives. We need to reach out, and keep an eye out for our friends and family as much as we can.
21. MAEVE-MOLLY Vulpynes The recent cuts to mental health services in Ireland are detrimental to those who need help. The lack of a government mental health strategy is fuelling the suicide epidemic that is becoming frighteningly trivialised. Irish people have no problem going to doctors, dentists and chiropractors for a diagnosis, but as soon as we identify mental health issues within ourselves we feel ashamed. The public health service is virtually non-existent and as a result people don’t know where to turn to when they need help. It is wrong that I can get a prescription for anti-depressants and sleeping tablets quicker than I can get an appointment to speak to a professional about why I feel so bad. We live in a quick-fix culture that wants the problem to go away, but not address why it’s there to begin with. Mind your loved ones. We’re all different and deal with pain in our own way. Your company and understanding alone is invaluable to someone who is suffering. Be gentle with everyone and take care of those who you think might be strongest. Our social media obsession and exposure to showreels of the perfect life are skewing our ideas of happiness and success. You never know what war people are waging inside.
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22. Stephanie Rainey Singer-songwriter When it comes to your mental health, talking about it is good. But it’s harder than it sounds – especially if you’re carrying something around that you don’t really understand yourself. It might be a sadness you don’t understand, a dread you can’t stop or just an uneasiness you can’t shake. I had my first real experience of anxiety this year and I realised that I never really understood that word until I felt it; I also didn’t want to talk about it because it just seemed awkward and I didn’t know how to bring it up. It started for me in Heathrow Airport in London, as I was about to board a plane. Out of nowhere I was feeling like I needed to get out of there, calling my boyfriend to say ‘I’m getting a hotel’ and that I can’t get on the plane. I was completely overcome. I couldn’t hear or see anything. I felt blind panic – and it felt like it would never stop. Somehow, he managed to talk me ‘round and I boarded the flight – but when I tell you it was the longest hour of my life, I couldn’t be more serious. That kick-started a couple of weeks of real anxiety for me and I was really struggling
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as this seemed to be becoming my new reality. It was at its worst the moment I opened my eyes in the morning, triggered by the simplest things; but then it just seemed like my body had learned this feeling – every day, for no apparent reason, until I found one. The same went for being on the tube or getting on a flight. I was brought back to that first instance and my body almost assumed that it had to react the same way again. It began to feel like something I’d learned rather than felt. I think I was scared it would happen again – and that fear became the cause. I’ll be honest, I had no other choice but to talk about it, because I needed it to stop. I talked to my boyfriend, my mum and one or two of my closest friends. I started to untangle the cause of what was happening and realised that so many people had been through the same thing, so they all had little tips on how to cope. Genuinely though, even just sharing the fact that I was feeling bad helped. If you can turn to someone in a moment and say – ‘I don’t know why but I don’t feel right’, it just puts it out there and relieves some of the anxiety. It halves the problem. For me it’s as simple as saying to someone, ‘I have to do *x* today – and I feel really anxious about it’. Straight away I feel better because I’ve said and acknowledged it, instead of letting the thoughts fester in my mind.
Musician /
Pieta House Ambassador
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26. Tommy Tiernan Comedian I’m not sure what mental health means to be honest with you – but just in terms of an adventure, meditation would be something I’d suggest to everybody over the age of 12 really. I think it’s fantastic. It creates a buffer zone between what you might be feeling and your ability to stand back from it. So, that’s a helpful tool. Every now and again I would do it (go to therapy). It wouldn’t be a constant in my life at all. Sometimes people go to therapy because they’ve no friends. I mean that in jest, by the way! I guess what I’m trying to say is: a friendship can provide healing as well.
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I have learned through my life that my mental health is as important as – and in fact has an enormous influence on – my physical health. The two are inextricably linked. Looking after one is good, but not good enough. For too long ‘mental health’ has been a shameful taboo – it’s time to acknowledge that your mental health is as vulnerable and as important as your physical health. Look after it, talk about it and listen to others.
25. Niall Boylan Broadcaster My marriage broke up after 25 years. I can’t talk about why we broke up. But, believe me, it’s not something I expected or wanted. For about four months, I was so depressed. There was one night I genuinely felt like there was no way out. I was up on Howth Head, five hours sitting in the car. And if it wasn’t for a good friend of mine on the phone, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I always thought I was stronger than that. I listen to other people’s stories about suicide all the time on the radio and I always go, ‘That wouldn’t be me’. You never realise what it’s like to be in that place until you’re there. You feel there is absolutely no way out. Where you’ve tried everything. You’ve given it everything. You’ve surrendered everything. And still can’t get back what you want.
27. Christy Dignam Aslan
It got really, really bad. It got so I couldn’t get out of the chair. I couldn’t see the point of anything. It’s horrible. I’d never been depressed before, not even through my addiction. Addiction knocks the balls out of you, but I never really got depressed. I didn’t even know I was depressed when that was happening. I didn’t know what it was. It was only when I really came out of it that I realised that it was depression I was going through. When I started recovering, I started feeling a bit stronger in myself. The tribute gig helped. I thought, “These songs are a lot better than I thought they were.” It was only when I looked at somebody else performing them with Aslan that I thought, “These really are good songs.” I was able to enjoy it as a fan for the first time in my life. It was a very surreal experience, but I felt brilliant when I went home that night. That was probably the turning point. I take it day by day – that’s the only way it can be now. Every day you wake up, you’re grateful that you’ve that day.
Bressie, Christy Dignam Photo: Kathrin Baumbach
It’s important to tell my story but the core fundamental ingredient of Me And My Mate Jeffrey is how the illness and the stigma conspired to control me. Someone said to me yesterday, ‘Jesus Bressie, you’re making out that everyone’s got depression.’ I went, ‘Well actually, chief, 30% of this country are dealing with mental health issues.’ It’s the most common illness in Ireland.
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28. Sebastian Barry Author In ’99, I was at the end of an American book tour. It was a terrible year where my poor brother, who was 13 years younger, had become mentally unwell and had to be briefly sectioned. And Donal McCann died. It was one of those years and I didn’t deal with it very well. A book tour is very weakening in every way. I really had a meltdown in San Francisco. I suppose I – because we’re all so ashamed of these conditions – should’ve rung somebody and said, ‘Will you come and get me?’ Or, ‘Can I book in somewhere?’ But I didn’t: I struggled on. I wasn’t sleeping. And that level of suffering, no one can tell you unless you’ve had it yourself. You can’t describe it. It’s as if
Louise Carrol Photo: Ruth Medjber, Sebastian Barry Photo: Mattieu Chardon
29. Louize Carroll Bass player, The Blizzards / Creative Psychologist
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somebody has poured acid into your brain and melted it. All the resources that you used to have, tiny little things like coffee in the morning, nothing works – there’s no taste in your mouth. I had that for about seven months. I did try Prozac for a couple of weeks. I stopped because I started to feel a bit high. I don’t really drink, so that was bizarre. I didn’t feel very sober, strangely enough. I rang Ivor Browne. He once gloried in the title of chief psychiatrist of Ireland, which I think is wonderful and amusing. And I said, “I’m not functioning at the minute anyway, but this is even worse”. I was in great distress. He was very concerned. I just wanted to be able to do something; for instance, like go walking with the babies, or whatever you’re supposed to be doing with the children.
And he said, “You work out a lot of your stuff in your work. Come off that Prozac and do the running intensively. And see where that gets you. And see if you can get back to work. And maybe that’s your balance again”. So, that did work for me. Different things work for different people. Ivor said when somebody’s in crisis it’s very important sometimes to make interventions that are highly medical. And also incredibly valuable is a doctor who knows about it and can fine-tune things. But look at the outcome: for people to be restored. And, even if one is a little bit vulnerable the whole bloody time, not to be pitching over that goddamn cliff every so often is an immense advantage.
30. Senator Eamon Coghlan Athlete
I got the daggers in my back. Some of the powers-that-be in my sport wanted to screw me into the ground and show I’ve met many adults me up. They came after me embarrassed to admit politically. During that period, I they feel low when they went into a dark, depressive hole, can vouch for a good which I had never experienced in •Louize Carroll upbringing, are surrounded my life. by a good family, and have I couldn’t sleep at night and when I did great prospects. They are aware that fall asleep I couldn’t get up in the mornings. I on paper, they could be viewed as one of the literally cried in the bed. The doctor told me, “You’re ‘lucky ones’, and in this context, feeling low can like a guy coming back from the war where you need sometimes result in directing additional anger and to be put asleep for a long time and give your brain a frustration inward at the self, further exacerbating rest. You’ve come off your career high and you’re now the problem. dealing with these various issues and you’re mentally It’s important to understand that emotional burnt out. But don’t let these people drag you down issues can arise from a build-up of stressors over any more”. the years, which have had an impact that lies unresolved – mental health issues by a 1000 little cuts. So much money has been pumped into unearthing biological causes of depression when the contributing social factors are staring us in the face: the abuse they never told anyone about; the teenage bullying that is dismissed as irrelevant now they are in adulthood, while struggling to identify the cause for their social anxiety; the violence at the hands of a parent or a partner; or the isolation that has arisen from being different to what a 31. Joe Caslin Artist majority is comfortable with. The three biggest protective factors contributing I work as a teacher in Tullamore. If I have a student to good mental health are physical health, who has harmed themselves, there’s no access to positive relationships and believing that you have 24-hour psychiatric care. You’re taken to an A&E a meaning and purpose in your life. It cannot be department, and you’re treated for your physical underestimated just how powerful and protective wounds. But you’re left on an endless waiting list for these factors are, and conversely, just how anything else that might be going on with you. There’s potentially traumatic it can be not to have them. no dual diagnosis. We can take a lead in our society by moving So, the truth is that there is an endless list of things towards more of the conversations that help us that the government could activate. But the reality to explore the events in our lives, even if they are is that we all have a responsibility in relation to the seemingly insignificant, and to realise that how stigma. If we’re using language about mental health we understand, take meaning from, and make that isn’t appropriate, we can check ourselves about sense of these events and experiences, impacts that. There is so much that we, as individuals, can be massively, and without exception, upon our own doing for our friends and family. emotional well-being.
•Paul second from right
32. Paul Linehan The Frank & Walters Everything on Songs For The Walking Wounded deals with the fact that we are either wounded mentally, physically or spiritually. We live in a world that is much more stressful than years ago. The internet changed everything and with telecommunications, everyone is constantly contactable. So many people are afflicted with anxiety and depression and they can’t talk about it. No one is honest about it. We hide it.
33. Niall Toner Musician Mental health issues are very often a hidden condition, and it’s important for every human being to remain open to listening to family and friends, who may wish to talk about problems or worries that they may be keeping to themselves. Remember, there’s always a little wisdom in the old proverb, that a problem shared, is a problem halved.
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37. Liadh Ní Riada Sinn Féin MEP
Ambassador “Walk in My Shoes” I began smoking and drinking when I was around 15. Every time I had an uncomfortable feeling or problem, instead of figuring out how to solve it, I’d self-medicate. Cigarettes and beer were how I dealt with that low-level depression you get as a teenager, and which can develop into something darker if not dealt with properly I think every addict convinces themselves – and everyone else – that it’s going to be different next time. In my own case, I was able to drink in a way that was destructive and detrimental to my health – but I was always able to do the gig. Until I couldn’t do the gig. Around Zoo TV was just a period of
confusion for me. I suppose it had started with the success of The Joshua Tree. I was in a successful band with great people whose lives were functional. They were in long-term relationships and raising families. I’d look at them and me and go, “What’s the difference here; what’s wrong with this picture?” I hated not feeling good enough. I’ve worked hard at acquiring the tools to overcome my insecurities and low self-esteem. Unlike 20 years ago, I go to bed now looking forward to the next day. My hope is that we can break any remaining taboo surrounding mental health issues. If people feel they need help, they shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for it. Everybody should have free and easy access to mental health treatment.
36. Billy Whelan The Elation
35. Hannah Ryan Pine The Pilcrow Our latest single ‘Only Ghosts’ was written about a friend of mine who took her own life when I was 12. She had been suffering with depression for quite some time, which we only found out about in the note she left. It was a confusing thing to wrap our heads around. The only way we could make sense of it was by being open with our group and making sure that nobody else felt alone. The song describes one moment in time – standing outside the church on the day of her funeral, unable to enter, but feeling oddly at peace with the thought of not actually going inside. She felt totally alone, and I paid my respects by imagining her looking down on me from a tree outside the church: “Only Ghosts can see me cry / Only Ghosts can see me fly”.
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Having known people who are very close to me, who have been diagnosed with mental health issues including depression and anxiety, as well as having my own personal dealings with depression, I can’t express enough how important this issue is. Without delving too much into my own personal issues, I’d like to offer this bit of advice to anyone who suffers from mental health issues. – Talking to people is important. It may seem the most terrifying thing in the world and you may freeze just before you let it out, but it will be a huge step forward if you do. If you can’t afford professional help, your friends and family will always be there for you. I can promise you, no matter how much you think you’re bothering them, you are not, and they will listen to everything you have to say and be there for you. – Never be afraid to ask for help, no matter how little or great the task. – Yes, it is okay to cry both in public and in private. If you need to let it out, let it out. There is no shame to this. – Try to go outside and do things. It helps to distract yourself from time to time. – There is nothing wrong with having or needing some alone time. If you need it, take it. You don’t have to explain it.
•Mark Carroll on right
38. Mark Carroll Rogue Opinions I never realised the importance of mental health until a childhood friend of mine took their own life before Christmas last year. Some people, men in particular, have a fear of talking about how they feel. It’s so important to be open with others, be it your partner, friends or parents. Never be afraid to randomly ask your friends and family how they’re doing. You never know who is suffering, and a small act may save someone’s life.
39. Steve Collins Former World Champion boxer I went through the mill. I was upset because everything I treasured and worked for was taken away from me. I felt like I was stabbed in the back. The most important thing in life is health and I’m very healthy and very happy now.
Hannah Ryan Photo: Ruth Medjber,
34. Adam Clayton U2
(On suffering depression after the death of her first husband, Fiachra) Nothing could numb it. I started walking a lot, listening to music, cleaning the house constantly. And then very luckily, I felt very blessed that I met my current – and final! – husband Nicholas Forde. Nicky has been terrific. He brought me out of that depression. You can’t conquer death – and that’s the hard lesson I learnt from being with Fiachra. It took a long time to recover from that. But Nicky brought me around. He taught me – without being too clichéd about it – how to love life and how to be in love again with somebody.
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40. Jonny Lucey New Valley Wolves
Brian Mulligan
I’ve never really had to consider my own mental health until my mum passed away in June 2016. I knew that if I bottled up my emotions, I would implode. Music played a huge part in releasing my pent-up sorrow, grief and anger. I channeled my inner turmoil into our music. It didn’t “fix” anything, my pain wasn’t going anywhere, but this occasional relief and release helped me to carry the weight of grief forward with me. Just another reason I’m grateful to my mum for buying my first guitar all those years ago.
41. Emma Langford Singer-Songwriter
My mental health is a constant project. ‘Tug O’ War’, the song that launched me into the music scene was all about getting bogged down in anxiety, listening to those voices of negativity in my head – you’d think writing it would have taught me a thing or two! As a singer-songwriter, I make myself
emotionally vulnerable to a room full of strangers on a nearly nightly basis, but often the hardest thing is just being honest with myself. It’s so feckin’ easy to get caught up in the vicious whirlpool of social media and self-promotion, but I’ve found that the most vital (and often hardest) thing I can do for my mental health is to take myself off the grid, go for a walk, read a book... Just breathe, really.
Be kind, be decent, imagine you are in that place of turmoil and pain; try to understand, try to accept without judging. -Mary Stokes
42. Eleanor McEvoy Singer-Songwriter I find it odd how we take daily steps to look after our physical health and yet do little or nothing to look after our mental health. Long walks and music are both key to me keeping myself on the straight and narrow. I’m a huge believer in the healing power of music. Playing music is incredibly cathartic and listening to music can be wonderfully uplifting.
THERE IS SO MUCH WE DO NOT KNOW And yet if we communicate, we can often be that small but crucial influence on a life, that will tilt the balance for the better between devastation and hope…
43. Mary Stokes Singer From when I was about three or four years old, mental health challenges have been a dominant, constant reality in my life. I grew up the youngest of a beautiful family, with five big brothers and two sisters. I was always immensely proud of all my siblings – I remember talking of them all with real pride as a very small kid. I continue to be immensely proud of them all. Sadly, the absolutely devastating toll of schizophrenia, bipolar disorders and mental health issues wreaked complete havoc in our world. In a family desperately trying to do the right thing, with willing and committed parents who lived for their children, the absolute lack of supports – never mind adequate supports – that continue today had a massive impact. We were a family left ‘to deal’ with these incomprehensible difficulties. We were left ‘to deal’ with the ugliness and ineffectiveness of psychiatric treatment. We were left ‘to deal’ with the violations and incapacities of psychiatric services, and left ‘to cope’ with the shame, the guilt, the savage remorse and terrible tragic consequences of an inadequate system. Everything in my life is affected by that history and the ongoing personal challenges that are often a result. I do not take any such issues lightly. My career in music. My love of Blues. My career as a singer and songwriter . Everything I venerate and appreciate in the Arts. My work
in education. My commitment to guidance counselling. Every moment of every day, from day to day engagement with people to thinking on society and our world – everything is informed by my years of experience of familial psychiatric problems, personal mental health issues and sometimes tragic outcomes. Although I recognise that the woeful lack of knowledge and understanding of mental health I saw first-hand was ‘of a time’, I suggest that many of these issues remain – notably the lack of understanding and shared open discussion that is so important on these topics. That, I accept, is improving slowly. But what of the need for funded and genuinely co-operative services, of follow up care and a serious commitment to offering support to everyone affected by these issues? I think that it is absolutely vital that our understanding of Mental Health includes a better acknowledgement of the differences and characteristics of mental health disorders and difficulties, along with realistic and responsible attention to the types of treatments that are available, and which are considered to be appropriate for those categories – treatments that can be effective and useful. We also need to recognise that we have to keep talking, thinking and communicating; and, above all, tackling the old aura of stigma associated with mental distress head on. Because the reality is that, when it comes to Mental Health, there is so much that we just DO NOT KNOW. We don’t fully know causes, or cures, not with any real authority. Perhaps, at best, we can mitigate the impacts. But if we are engaged, we will, perhaps, at least understand better.
Despite advances, what is clear is that we remain vulnerable creatures. Many, if not all of us, teeter on the brink of ‘sanity’ at every moment. What is perhaps useful, then, is to remember that, while acknowledging our frailty, we should also remember our strength. It is good to acknowledge that we – as individuals – can often be that small but crucial influence on a life, that will tilt the balance for the better between devastation and hope, between destruction and growth. As a community, these are the things that we CAN take individual and collective responsibility for. Be kind, be decent, imagine you are in that place of turmoil and pain; try to understand, try to accept without judging. You may well deserve to feel angry or hurt – but we must do everything we can to keep listening and sharing and communicating. So, public awareness and developing a caring society is paramount. But understanding the roles and responsibilities attached to every ‘mental health’ policy or programme is also key. It is getting better here in Ireland, but there’s still a long way to go.
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44. Eoghan O’Driscoll Artist I feel like I have to explore this darker side of life, because I don’t have the choice to breeze through it and avoid depression. It’s no joke to end up in an institution and have people saying to me, ‘You’re going to spend the rest of your life here’. I don’t get to avoid this pain or pretend it doesn’t exist for me and many, many other people. That’s made me who I am. I’m more compassionate now.
49. Kieran O’Reilly Hail The Ghost Our mental health is probably the most fragile and delicate aspect in our make-up. Behind every smile can be a world of untold hurt and despair. We have a duty to not only ourselves and our own mental health, but to those around us who might not be able to help themselves. Encouraging, supporting and practicing mental health care is something that needs to be a constant priority. If you feel it, try to help it.
45. Kate Kirby Sports Psychologist One thing I’ve learned is that what you do outside of training is incredibly important. You can’t be switched on all the time. So taking time out – and quality time out, not the type where you’re answering emails on the couch with the telly on in the background – is really important. It’s not about pushing yourself as hard as you can all the time, because you just can’t do that. You need to be able to step away, and a lot of people don’t give themselves that luxury.
47. KATHLEEN LYNCH
Ex-Minister for Mental Health
46. Ashling Thompson
All-Ireland winning Cork camogie star I had just started my first year of college, and was preparing to go back to the Cork squad in December. The car crash was in November 2009, and I guess everything piled up at the same time. I had never carried an injury before, and you’re very young to go through something like that. Some people will say they had an injury and didn’t suffer depression, but it’s hard to hit the nail on the head with it; you might be feeling down for a few days, and not even know that you’re depressed.It’s very hard to give someone guidance. I had friends who literally didn’t know what to do. But if someone is involved in sports, ring their coach and explain; if a coach knew what they were going through, it would take a weight off their shoulders. Anyone who has come out the other side of something, give them a call and ask for guidance. And there’s plenty of organisations to give help: all it takes is a phone call.
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I go to funerals in Ireland where people have died by suicide. It used to be that what had happened was talked about only in hushed tones at the back of the church; that’s not the case anymore. I’m a great believer in ‘out loud’. The only way to get rid of the ghosts is to talk about it. We have to say to people who feel the only option left is to kill themselves, “Stop, talk to someone. There’s help and support available to you.” It’s that irreversible action, which I don’t think young people especially understand entirely. You can’t have government on every street corner though. It has to be a combination of forces from the GAA and schools to organisations like Pieta House and, of course, government. We’re all stakeholders in this.
50. Kevin Hines
48. ALAN O’MARA
51. Bob Murphy Musician
Gaelic footballer & host of Real Talks podcast The big thing to remember is you’re not alone. I’m still learning that now doing the podcast. I think it’s important for sports people to remember that they’re still just a person as well, and they’re going to have ups and downs like everyone else. Our mental health services are not up to scratch. But the one thing I do say about that is it’s very easy to get caught up in the negative and blame the government etc. The most important thing is to keep looking for help, and there are a lot of great charities out there doing brilliant work. The likes of Pieta House, for example, are excellent, so you’ve gotta really dig in and find what’s right for you.
Mental health advocate / Pieta House Ambassador
My message is that hope helps heal. What leads people to die by suicide is hopelessness. It’s the idea that nothing can get better – and that today is the worst day of their lives. The important thing is to recognise that today is not tomorrow and that tomorrow things can change. If you suffer mentally, then with a great deal of hard work, you can have hope – and it can help you heal.
We should consider mental health in similar terms to those we have for physical health. None us has stellar mental health if the truth be told. You see it when you’re overly influenced by fear or guilt. You see it when you feel like you can’t cope in a situation. You see it any time you slip into despair, bitterness or jealousy. It manifests in a thousand other ways that we’d all leave out or change if we could, and it touches all of us on some level.
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52. Kevin Baird Two Door Cinema Club
•Kevin Baird, far left
53. Cáit O’Riordan Musician When I was 38 my body started shutting down – I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep, and one day I saw death watching me as I walked up Aungier St. Clearly, whatever was wrong with me wasn’t just physical, and I made a doctor’s appointment. A fat old slob of a D4 doctor shrugged and prescribed sleeping pills, but some last vestige of the survival mechanism kicked back to life and I knew meds would be the end-game for me. I kept looking for help and a little trial-anderror bought me back to a doctor in London who’d known me since I was a teenager. He sent me straight to a mental hospital for what turned into a three-month stay and a lot of ‘talking therapy’. Cognitive Behaviourial Therapy saved my life – I’m blessed that the doctors there respected my decision to avoids meds, and that the CBT started to help me immediately. It took another five years before my addiction to alcohol was diagnosed, and that’s a whole other story. I later learned, in the course of studying for my degrees in psychology, of the high rate of co-morbidity between addiction and depression, and the high rate of failure to dualdiagnose sufferers. I urge anyone who suspects they are sick to get help, and also to be aware that medical professionals aren’t infallible. Ultimately, it’s up to us to educate ourselves about our mental health, and to put what we learn into practice every day, the best we can. In the meantime, let’s go easy on each other – we never truly know what someone is dealing with.
54. Brenda Fricker Actor I don’t suffer from depression any more. I did for 50 years and then – having tried every combination of medication and having spent enough on psychiatrists to buy three houses on Leeson Street – I found a wonderful cure, if you like that word.
It’s clear that we urgently need more funding for mental health services in Ireland, but we also need to take more time for our own self care. It’s a busy world out there and it’s easy to get caught up in it. But taking time for yourself, checking-in with how you’re feeling on a regular basis, and having the resources and knowledge to help when you need it can really turn the tide. I suffered with depression a few years ago and it was tough. Really tough. I still battle with anxiety, albeit less and less so. I find mindfulness (I use an app called Headspace) – and talk therapy, when I need it – work the best for me. We all need a little emotional maintenance along the way. There’s no shame in it. Sometimes it’s good to take a step back and look at our relationship with what’s around us, whether that be Facebook or pints with your mates, and ask yourself if it’s healthy; do you feel better after doing it? And if you don’t, that’s ok, maybe try taking a break from it. More than anything, it’s good to talk. Everything seems just that little bit easier once you say it out loud.
I found this guy who has a treatment he does with Mozart music. It’s quite amazing. It takes three months – you listen to Mozart for two hours every morning for a week, then you have a break of about a month. Then, you go back and you listen to Mozart again every morning for two hours for about a week or ten days. You lie down during it and go to sleep after that. And then you have three weeks off, or something, and you go back and you wake up cured. It is an extraordinary thing. Fifty years of your life battling with this devil every day and suddenly it’s gone. In the old days you would call it a miracle. You see the world with clear eyes for the first time; you can walk down the street without being terrified; you can think clearly. It’s wonderful.
55. Michael Murphy Broadcaster & Psychologist After the cancer I was very down. I was on antidepressants for a while. And it has its place. What it does is: medication holds both sides of the wound together, so that the wound can heal and then you can come off it, if necessary – if that’s what should be done. I believe in medication. In fact, I have recommended it to some of my clients and they have gone on medication for a while. ‘What is the point of this?’ is actually one of the questions men ask themselves. What’s it all about? It’s a Hamlet question: to be or not to be? A lot of men are obsessional and that’s the obsessional question. It’s a very valid question. ‘Is my life worth living?’ And there are times when you can say that it is so bleak that maybe I’d be better off out of it altogether. So, yes, I have had bouts of very severe depression. I am enjoying life now. It’s great fun. When you get older, to my age, hopefully wisdom develops and you realise that, ‘Look, life is very good as long as you are healthy. There is always a possibility of change, or hope, or whatever brings you out of bed the next day’. So, here I am at 70 years of age having just got married! Life goes on.
56. Blaithin Carney Artist We live in a world where expectations are so high. The most severe critic is usually ourselves. Everybody has dark days, and on these days, you want to retreat. But these are the days you need to reach out, and try to speak to your family and friends. It always helps. I tell my children that it’s ok to feel sad sometimes. It’s part of the human condition and spectrum of emotions. And that if they need to talk about it, then I’m here for them. We’re human and we’re fallible. But that’s also part of the wonder of it all. * Blaithin Carney, from Kildare, scored an Irish No.1 single with ‘Rome’.
57 Carol Keogh Artist
(Extract from a longer, in depth piece, which appears elsewhere in this issue.) Part of valuing and respecting yourself is not allowing yourself to be exploited and abused and guess what? Exploitation and abuse are rife in the arts and entertainment industries. And we have mental health issues? Go figure. It doesn’t have to be that way though, does it? Maybe we can come together and demand better conditions – I dunno, like a country standing up to its former religious overlords or something. Oh, and did I mention cake? Eat cake. At any time. Cake is good. Right, better go to bed. I’m up and out early on the Good Ship Leo! But don’t mind me. Just keep talking.
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59. Sean McGrath Stolen City
58. Jinx Lennon Musician I think it’s healthy to understand that there is a bit of madness in every human being. I think that’s a good bulwark against going completely insane. I do not trust anyone who says they have complete sanity. Ireland has a Victorian attitude towards mentally disturbed people. God help you if you have severe mental problems in this country. I’m interested in where creativity and mental illness meet. We live in a land where tablets get thrown at mental patients to no avail. I would encourage people to heal themselves and develop self-belief through lyric and song, and write and compose about how screwed up they feel. There are some truly demented sounding people in Irish music now and Irish music is better for it. I do not call these people insane, but they are prepared to loosen up a bit and let the raw feeling out. • Junior Brother channels the sound of a man about to lose his mind and because he is a brilliant guitar player, it balances it out and makes it into something life affirming. • Post Punk Podge and the Technohippies – the sound of people getting the demons out of their souls never sounded as much fun. • Girl Band’s last album is the contrast between a really hot band and a singer who sounds like he’s working out his psychological disorders in front of you and it’s very powerful. • Captain Moonlight, the Kilkenny rapper is another brave lyricist: his songs like ‘OCD’ from his second album give you a full picture of the disorder at hand. • Syd Barrett – the original Pink Floyd singer – his songs are disturbing and and beautiful too, and yet it’s all too clear he was heading into a dark hole of no return. But we are richer by far for that. We need more of it. There’s still a sleveen mentality that seeps through all the arts in Ireland that needs to loosen up a bit and let the humanity out. “Everyone has a mental home inside their head,” as my former stage partner Miss Paula Flynn once wisely said…
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Mental health is something that we as a band definitely want to prioritise, •Sean both within our own McGrath, below left group and with those who listen to our music. We are an all-male band and know that men under the age of 35, just like us, are particularly at risk of dying by suicide in Ireland. Amongst ourselves, we encourage each other to talk about how we are feeling – being a musician by nature gives rise to a lot of factors that can cause stress and worry. We look out for each other and try to destigmatise mental health by having open and frank discussions about our emotions. Within our songwriting, we like to show male vulnerabilities and really push home how normal it is to not be okay all of the time. Our song ‘Cry Monster Cry’ in particular details one situation where a man is in a difficult place, mentally, as a result of domestic abuse.
60. Connie Keane Fears I’m so glad that mental health is becoming more talked about in the music sphere, but I think it’s important that we take a step beyond talking about it. We need to look at the everyday lives of people working in the industry and find practical ways to make it a healthier environment. I’d also like to see more awareness of how to help someone else struggling with their mental health. It feels like most of the conversation is centred around the person who is unwell taking action, but sometimes people are too unwell to be able to do that. I know I was. I think it’s all of our responsibility to try and recognise warning signs, and do what we can to help, whether that’s giving someone a lift to their first therapy session, or sitting with them in A&E.
61. Laura Sheeran Artist I can’t say that I’ve battled with depression or suffered any serious mental health issues – and I’m very lucky to be able to say that – but many of my friends and family have. I’ve known so many people who’ve died by suicide. The first time I lost somebody that I cared about to suicide I was 11. My mom’s best friend died by suicide and she took her two children with her. It was the most horrific, tragic thing ever. So as a kid I became aware of these things. Everybody is affected by mental health issues, yet the only people who were able to talk to me were my mum or my dad: they’re very open people. I was devastated, really grieving
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for weeks at school, but none of the teachers knew how to talk to me about it. People going through trauma like that not having support could really easily spiral into a depression, so it’s important to keep the discussions open and to keep raising awareness. It’s important to support each other, especially within families. Everything starts at home.
62. Hannah Tyrrell Irish Rugby International / Pieta House Ambassador Having struggled with my mental health in the past, in the form of bulimia, self-harm and suicidal thoughts, I want to speak out about mental health and raise some awareness around the subject. I want people to realise that they are not alone feeling this way and that things can and will get better. I wanted to share my story, in order to help make it easier for others who are struggling to reach out and ask for help: if even one person does so as a result of this, then it will have all been worthwhile. Removing the stigma surrounding mental health in Ireland has always been a big priority for me as I never want anyone to go down the same path that I did as a young teenager. That will only happen when people are not afraid of a negative reaction when speaking about their mental health.
63. Cliodhna Moloney Rugby player I think the majority of sports people at this level have experienced some form of mental illness, even if it relates to their sport or injuries or perhaps anxiety about future or past performances. My main piece of advice would be as follows… If you feel like things are becoming too much, the most important step you can take is a step back. Often we are so focused on what is wrong or not working for us that we ignore all of the good and simple things about everyday life. For me, if I’m down or anxious, and if it’s rugby or injury related, I try take some time away and appreciate the beauty of nature, or spend some time with family and friends who may not be involved in that aspect of my life. If I don’t feel like I want to see anyone at all, I sometimes like to spend time with my dogs, and it helps me a lot. I suppose it’s very individual – work out what makes you feel most at ease or helps you clear your head. If I think a friend is down or struggling with an issue, the most important thing you can do is to be there for them. Day or night, make them feel heard and listened to and understood.
•Cliodhna Moloney in action
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64. Matt McGinn
SingerSongwriter Having a creative outlet has always been my natural remedy for dealing with my mental health. But in the present day where the music industry doesn’t really know where it is at, it is so very important to know that with every bit of success, you are going to have to fail a multiple of times. I do not compromise in what I create, and as a result, I can stand by it and love it without question, when it goes out into the big bad world. Every day is about training myself to live in the moment, be happy and content in all that is around me. It is those things that continue to inspire me and make me want to create. I no longer worry about what others think. I used to just get on with it. Now I just love getting on with it. Be good to yourself. *Matt McGinn was the winner of RTÉ 2fm’s ‘Play The Picnic’ competition in 2014. He has released three albums, including The End of the Common Man (2018)
Matt McGinn Photo: Julie-Ann Roquette, Dan Hegarty photo: Ken Heffernan
65. Skyfever Band Each of our band has been through some pretty heavy stuff in the last two years and the issue of mental health is at the forefront of our minds. Between us we have been affected directly and indirectly by a loss of life, depression, addiction, anxiety and even sickness. Pretty much the kitchen sink has been thrown at us, but we have found ways to be the buoyant rubber duck in the storm and gathered the energy to set our dreams ablaze like never before! To those struggling we can offer a number of bits of advice… You Are Not Alone: We know it’s a brutal Michael Jackson song, but let’s ignore that. There are millions of people who have what you have. It is going to be okay. Seek Help: Whether it is from a trusted friend, mentor or even… Self Help: Go on YouTube and seek words of wisdom from the likes of Jocko Willink, Gary V, Orison Swett Marden and Tony Robbins. Listen to these and let your personal airwaves start to fill with ideas and thoughts that can bring you forward. Protect and Fuel Your Happiness: We have a saying in the band: ‘Protect the castle… always’ . This can mean a dream, a friendship, a job, a place or a moment in your day. Protect your happiness like you would protect a small fire in a storm. Protect it against all negativity! That
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includes even friends and family and the small talk Olympics at work that seek to bring you down. Always remember, you are unique, you are brilliant and you have something awesome ahead of you. It is in the hard times where you genuinely have the best opportunity to hit back at life and take action.
66. Dan Hegarty
Radio Presenter It’s sad to think that many people are really only beginning to appreciate the challenges that individuals with mental health issues face. These issues can range from those that many of us would hardly notice, to a kind of reality that is beyond comprehension unless you’re in the eye of that particular storm. Our own mental health should be taken as seriously as our physical wellbeing. Talking to people we know and trust is key; try never to let things fester and over power us. Few things in life are truly straightforward, but being mindful of our own mental health, and that of others, is so important.
We are all mansions. Beautiful and full of secrets. 67. Anna Jordan Composer / Singer We are all mansions. Beautiful and full of secrets. With many little everyday maintenance jobs to keep ourselves up. It’s easy to collect clutter and then just hide it in the attic and when that’s full, we move down a tidier floor, but then, you see, that can build up too and then the floor boards start to crack with the weight, so best we run to another room and lock the door to the mess that we left behind and open a little window, leave in some air. But then, it might start to rain and then there is a drip. And all of a sudden, everywhere is messy and this mansion, is falling apart. And it’s almost as though there is no one living there at all. No one to maintain. It’s best we clean as we go.
68. Thomas Walsh Musician As a composer/musician, I’ve had my share of depression. Luckily for me, I got help, after finding a great doctor who understood the profound intricacies the mind plays when one is depressed. I believe the road to recovery is your doctor, but you have to find the right one. Unfortunately in Ireland, unless you find the right doctor, you can be sent from A to Z and back again, and again, and again. That’s the reason I believe we have so many suicides with our young and older men and women. The only road to recovery is talking. To do that, you need a person who can unite with you and comprehend the situation you are in. I was unlucky for a few years, until I found the listener which was my new doctor. Can you imagine being sent to a psychiatrist and then sent back to your doctor for medication. The next time you see the psychiatrist is maybe in a month if you’re lucky, and more than likely it’ll be a different one, unless you can afford to pay for one. Help is urgent in all types of depression. Medication and cognitive therapy is a great help, but talking above all else is the answer. Being in bed alone eats you up mentally. You must leave the bed, go for walks with someone, get a dog, join a club, learn an instrument. Yes, when you do something like this, you will be meeting and talking with someone. Above all, join some type of club – or simply put, get yourself a hobby. It won’t be easy, but when you get going you will be a new person. Don’t be afraid to tell your new friends you have mental health issues, as that is part of the solution. I find music a tremendous help, as you’re out playing and enjoying yourself with others, who more than likely have also suffered from depression. I love composing music and people have told me they listen to my music to relax, which is nice to hear. Find music to play that suits you and if you play an instrument, keep learning new songs or tunes. Please, please don’t give up, as life will once again be wonderful once you get the right doctor. And don’t forget, talk talk talk. Your loved ones are only too happy to help you.
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70. Damien Dempsey Singer / Songwriter When I was in my late teens, I suffered from depression quite badly. It just got worse and worse: every day I was just getting deeper and deeper into myself. I was smoking a lot of hash at the time, so I think that was affecting me. For about six months it was really bad. There’s a place up on Eccles Street where I started doing meditation, and that really helped me a lot. That kind of lifted the cloud for me. I think, if you’re gonna be doing creative stuff, you have to be deep and you have to be sensitive and you probably feel emotions more than other people. You probably feel more pain than other people. Some people don’t really give a shit, they just get over it, but I’m not like that. I get bogged down. Maybe I feel more empathy for people or something like that. A lot of artists are like that, and that’s where the writing comes from; it’s like you heal yourself by writing about the things that you’re feeling painful about, or very emotive about.
•Cian Donohoe, top left
69. Cian Donohoe Heroes In Hiding I suffer with anxiety, which affects me on a daily basis, but not in ways that would be obvious to others. At my 9-5, I work as a trainer in a tech company, so I am up in front of people all day delivering sessions and being as positive a person, and then the rest of the time I am a musician. Both roles involve me putting myself in situations where everything I do and every move I make is under intense scrutiny. You’d probably think for someone that suffers with anxiety these are not ideal situations to be in. But I am determined not to let it beat me. It has most noticeably affected me playing live with Heroes, as getting on stage is a massive ordeal for me. My entire body goes into a state of total fear where muscle function is affected and even my stomach is torturing and threatening me with throwing up. I have played a vast amount of gigs where I have just wanted to get up mid-song and run. Of course, I have never done that, but I struggle to enjoy playing in front of people. I sometimes video our performances live with my phone, so I can watch them back and retrospectively enjoy the good moments. Why do I do it, is, I’m sure, what anyone reading this is thinking. Well, for a couple of reasons. I love music, I love creating music and being involved in music has been by far the greatest thing I’ve done in my life and has been hugely therapeutic for me when live performance is not involved. The band is a family to me now: we’ve been playing together 13 years and I love that aspect of it as well. I also do it because I will not let this thing in my head control me and I will not let it dictate my life.
I suffer with anxiety, which affects me on a daily basis, but not in ways that would be obvious to others. - C i a n D o n o h o e, H e ro es i n H i d i n g
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71. James Smith Gypsies On The Autobahn I spoke out recently in front of a group of people, with my family in attendance, hoping to give someone a glimpse of hope within some hopelessness, and spent the whole day in fear I had frightened or worried my loved ones. A friend came to lend an ear and mentioned that he could hear my pain embedded in the words I spoke and the songs I write. I thought about this and simplified as much as I could for myself. There is pain we let go of and pain we hold on to; and it’s not the pain we let go of that scares our families. It’s the latter – the pain they don’t hear, that we etch on our skin and blockade in our throats that worries them. So speak. Your family will hear you, like mine heard me, and it will lift something from you like nothing else, if only for a moment. But you can see life for what it is without the weight of the world forcing you to bend over and look at the dirt.
72. Christian from Hidden Stills When we talk about mental health we should also consider physical health, the two being intrinsically linked. We’re not just a jumble of thoughts, emotions and memories riding around on top of a bag of meat and bones. When we neglect or abuse one part of our ‘self’, we’re sure to drag the other down. Early philosophies (and perhaps still some modern ones) treated the mind as a separate entity to the body, and was generally confined to the care of organised religion, whereas the body was entrusted to the physicians, butchers, barbers etc. Luckily in these enlightened times we take a more holistic view of our general well-being. Spirituality and mindfulness have replaced organised religion (for a lot people – it’s still there if you want it) and we are advised to get regular exercise, drink in moderation, don’t do drugs etc – nag, nag, nag! But in fairness it’s all good advice to help
make sure each part of our being is capable of looking after the other. I don’t have any solutions, but I would recommend reading Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker for a great insight into how closely linked mind and body actually are, and how sleep as a mental function can help both.
73. Jim O’DonoghueMartin Video Blue My song ‘Reviver’ was made in response to my own dealings with anxiety and panic attacks. When overwhelmed, listening to and creating sound helps. I wanted to create something that could be used in mindfulness – practice, meditation or as a discreet backdrop to something more physical. Something you could sleep to, run to, or write to. A piece designed for introspection in a world like ours. There was a plant on our living room table, called a calathea ornata (that’s the image on the artwork). I watched it in different states, moving upwards, fighting for light as a response to the onset of darkness; and then in a relaxed state as it bathed in sun in the morning. I learned this was called nyctinasty, and it seemed like a good metaphor for the swings in mental well-being a day can offer. This recording takes that journey; an experience with darkness but ultimately offering uplifting catharsis. This was a reviving thing to make – hopefully it can benefit others. One is never alone.
•Jim O’Donoghue-Martin
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One in four Irish people will have treatment for a mental health problem during their lifetime.
74 Nick Kelly Songwriter and awardwinning Film Director Just before we filmed The Drummer And The Keeper, I was asked to sit on a panel at an event in St Patrick’s Hospital at which portrayals of mental health in cinema were examined and debated. The audience was a mix of service users, family members and clinicians. Tellingly, we were all asked to refrain from taking photos for the duration. During the closing discussions, somebody in the audience asked whether I thought my own film – the story of an unlikely friendship between a rock musician with a bipolar diagnosis and a young man with Aspergers Syndome – would change negative public attitudes towards mental illness. I replied that I honestly thought the main thing that would change attitudes towards mental illness would be for more high profile people to “come out” about their own diagnoses. A young woman then stood up and said that, while she appreciated the theory of what I was saying, there were more people sitting on our panel (there were four of us) than there were west of the Shannon, where she came from, who were aware of her diagnosis – and that if people in her own community were to learn of her condition
76. Nikki Hayes Broadcaster I grew up always knowing I didn’t fit in. I was never anyone’s best friend. I was never the star of the show. I was always the outsider. I remember a situation where five friends had to choose a best friend and I was the only one who wasn’t chosen. It cut right through me. And it depressed me – but it built me. You need to fight for you. And no matter what I’ve been challenged with mentally, I fight it. And I’ll never stop, because we only get one life and we deserve the best from it.
she would face disastrous consequences in her family, in her relationships and in her work. Her mental illness was something that had to be kept secret at all costs. I found her response completely understandable, tragic, and crystallising of the distance we as a society need to travel in our thinking and feeling. One in four Irish people will have treatment for a mental health problem during their lifetime. So whether it’s our own illness, or that of a partner, relation, friend or colleague, sooner or later each of us will have to deal with this issue first-hand. I don’t have any medical training, but it seems to me axiomatic that however challenging the clinical effects of one’s condition may be, those effects can only be compounded if you also have to pretend that nothing is going on, and can’t reach out for support from the people around you. This hiding away also allows terrible – and terribly familiar – stereotyping to persist: in film, for example, one often sees characters with mental health conditions derided and demonised in a way that once was acceptable – but certainly would not now be – in portrayals of black, female or gay people. I know that it takes massive courage for any individual to publicly admit to a mental health problem – and I would completely respect and defend their right to not take that step until and unless they are ready to. But the more people who do manage to take that brave step – and the more that those around them applaud and support them in so doing – the harder it is for our society to ignore this most common human reality, and the more educated, enlightened and empathetic we all individually become.
75. Karen Cowley Wyvern Lingo Becoming vocal about mental health is essential to removing any stigma that has previously been attached. Working in the music industry does not make looking after your mental health easy. Exhaustion, stress and disappointment are constant factors, as well as an endless flow of alcohol everywhere you go. I personally have struggled with anxiety directly related to my work over the last while, and have been trying to talk to as many people as possible to try figure out how best to cope with the adrenalin highs & lows. I’m finding that everyone has their own story and that it’s completely normal to need to reach out for help, whatever the scale of the problem – and that maintaining good mental health requires time and effort (well spent).
77. Charlie Livingstone Lowlight Gathering As a sufferer of really bad anxiety now for some years myself, I know all too well the trappings of these type of illnesses: depression, OCD, anxiety etc. I think the problem with mental illness is the fact it’s so taboo. When someone starts to feel these type of symptoms, they automatically feel they can’t speak about it to friends or family because of the shame of being sick in this way. The crazy thing is that talking to someone actually helps. You find out you’re not alone, that there are tons of people suffering the same on a daily basis. I think it’s great that issues like these are being brought to the fore and talked about openly. It will prompt better ways of dealing with the issue, and hopefully make more people aware of the fact that it is an illness much like any other. Let’s break the stigma of mental illness for good.
•Charlie Livingstone 2nd from right
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79. Ailbhe Reddy Folk singer
At home, they used to call me “The Onion”. So many layers, but never allowing anybody into the core. “If people see it, I’m done for, destroyed.... If they see what I’m really like inside...”. I used to think it so cruel that I’d have to run out of my favourite geography class in school, heart exploding, body trembling, feeling like I’m about to die over and over again. I remember it following me to church and having all those guilt battles with God: “I’m sorry God, I know I probably deserve this, whatever this is. But I can’t go in there, it’s too damn scary. I’ll stand at the door on my own and sure that’s shame enough. People know my folks well and word will get back and all that.” I remember Maynooth University with mixed feelings. “Hello Mr Indoor Panic – meet my little friend, Mr Outdoor Panic! I know I deserve this, it must be for missing mass or having feelings for some young wan.” I remember two heroes of flatmates dragging me into the exam for Greek and Roman Civilization… I passed it somehow. The shame of telling my hard-working dad that I couldn’t face college anymore, except when I soaked myself in drink – I could talk and be silly with drink. I left Maynooth, then did night jobs. Then I tried college again, and left again. And on it went. I met the beautiful man Dr Odhran McCarthy at the Mater in 1999. I found
myself nodding my head to all the questions he asked. Panic… Social Anxiety.... You won’t die... You’re a good guy... friendly Col. I met some like-minded people... Stepping stones. I got into the public service. People were warm, kind. Hunkydory. I was unlucky to be a victim of a random one-punch attack a few years later. Wrong place, wrong time. I was back to square one. I had outdoor panic now with added paranoia for free. I had to let my secure job go eventually as the depression kicked in – the world of meds.... The shame of moving back to the folks’ house... Curtains closed. I can’t go on! Thanks for finding me in time that day sis. There was no escaping the mental prison. My only constant throughout it all was my piano – it let me express some of what I was feeling. There was some talk therapy. My cousins (The Vinylheads) encouraged me to jam at home with them and then record. God bless them all. Bless the radio DJs and the critics who were beyond kind and helpful, and my loving family and friends. I don’t feel able to play live yet, but I think I’ll always write tunes now while working through it all. Baby steps. New love. New attitude... It’s okay to have mental struggles and to talk about them. And stay in this mixed up game of life as things can and will change! And as a wonderful DJ once told me, “Fuck shame!”
81. Maria Doyle Kennedy Singer, songwriter and actor My song ‘All The Feels’ goes some way towards explaining my mind, and its frequent battles with itself. ALL THE FEELS (Lyrics) Let me tell you how I feel Sharp intake of breath Adjust the position, Let me tell you how I feel, Tension building, can you hang in?
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“Take a break, be honest with yourself and with your loved ones.”
80. Sorcha Richardson Singer Spending so much time in New York in my early twenties had quite a significant impact on my own mental health. Living in New York, and being a musician, can be very emotionally and mentally draining. At least half of my friends in America go to therapy on a regular basis, or have done so at some point in their life. There’s no shame or embarrassment associated with it. Seeing my college friends talk so openly about their own struggles with mental health made me a lot more comfortable talking about my emotions and admitting to myself, and to the people around me, when I wasn’t doing okay. I would love to see Ireland get to a similar place where we’re not ashamed to ask for help.
Let me tell you how I feel, Can you bear it, will I tear it? Is it coming out too real? Avert your eyes, adopt surprise and carry on for miles, Suddenly bowed and brutally tired, Of fighting myself and the way that I’m wired, And the effort it takes to suppress the desire, Just to let the bad guy drive, All the feelings, all the time, A restless body and a mind that lies, Little helper makes everything
quiet, Just don’t let the bad guy drive, Is not talking, one foot on the other, A better way to get through the week? What I’m proposing gets worse before it’s better, Let me tell you how I feel. Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track /4QUN3qN3FrfxslRjAOyvh3?si =CSw1c3ahS-Osk_iXOJPadg
Maria Doyle Kennedy Photo: Kathrin Baumbach
78. Col Patterson Vinylheads
I’ve struggled with depression since my teens. I was always a very anxious kid and by the time I was 17 I was really struggling. It’s a funny thing because the more I’ve talked to people around me, the more I’ve realised it’s common. I’ve also realised people won’t judge me for it or think I’m weak. I’ve been on and off anti-depressants for most of my adult life. I’ve learned a few things over the years and the main one is, however you feel, secrecy will make it worse. Nothing will burden you more than trying to hide your difficulties from your loved ones. If you’re struggling with depression or anxiety, be kind to yourself. Take a break, be honest with yourself and with your loved ones. You don’t have to feel this way, and you certainly don’t have to go it alone.
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82. Meghann Scully Radio DJ My own journey with my mental health began when I was 15 years old and my brother Marcus was killed in a car accident. He was my best friend and was guiding me through my awkward teenage years. Then in 2006 my Dad Maxie died after a battle with illness. My brother was taken so suddenly that I never got to say goodbye. Whereas I sat with my Dad and held his hand as he took his final breath. My heart was truly broken, but I had to begin my Leaving Cert year two weeks after Dad’s passing. I bottled my grief and hoped if I ignored it for long enough that it would disappear, but it came back uglier and angrier than ever during my Masters. I was dragged down, pulled apart and spat into a lonely dark hole. I felt helpless and useless. My big dreams and ambitions had faded into the darkness. But I had a mother by my side who was never willing to give up on me. She had taken the same journey as me, but we were always at different stages of grief. It always seemed she was steps ahead of me; I guess parents always are. I also had two very strong spirits that were by my side whispering into my ear and making me lift myself from the hard, cold stone of grief. Their lives had been cut short and I was physically healthy – but I needed to mend my mental health. I had to give myself time, and patience, something I struggled so badly with. I learned to meditate and -Meghann Scully be silent. I sat with my emotions and feelings however undesirable they were. I got help both professionally and from my friends and family. I learned to love myself again, and I learned how to go easy on my soul. In time, I learned to lift my head and spread my wings. The burning ambition that lay dormant returned, the light flooded back in and I learned the importance of acceptance and moving on. I continue to work on my mental health every single day, but I feel truly happy and find happiness in the most simple forms: family, a cup of tea with friends, a run with my dog and watching Netflix under a warm duvet. My advice for anyone struggling is to hold onto belief: belief in yourself, your abilities and your self worth. This life is short and there is a wonderful world out there waiting for us.
I bottled my grief and hoped if I ignored it for long enough that it would disappear...
83. Aisling McCarthy Tipperary Ladies Footballer Sport can be an important outlet for people struggling with their mental well-being. It builds resilience and the team morale can be a support system. I have seen first-hand the support people received from teammates after the loss of close friends. Two tragic bereavements have affected myself and my fellow team members in the last 18 months. The team has rallied together and ensured people have had someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. It is important to realise that you do not know how everyone is feeling, and a small gesture (a hug, a text, a smile) could mean the world to someone. As a physiotherapist, it is my duty to encourage people to engage in physical activity and exercise. As well as the many physical health benefits, it is proven to have to have a positive effect on mental health. On World Mental Health Day, I encourage people who are struggling to participate in physical activity, stick with their sport, and turn to their teammates or someone you trust for support. This feeling won’t last forever. Talk!
84. John Gibbons DJ, Artist and Producer As somebody who has experienced a number of mental and emotional challenges, I feel it’s extremely important to face these head-on. The key factor, for me, has been to accept personal responsibility for my own well-being, and make the necessary changes, to take control of my state of mind. Life is not something that happens to us. It’s a journey that we manifest and have control over and thus are responsible for. While the obstacles are often many, and in a large number of cases can seem insurmountable, there are always others who can help us bear the load. It’s important to know our limitations as well as our strengths; to seek help when it’s required; and not allow pride to prevent us from making positive changes. In their excellent book on depression, Dr Michael Corry and Dr Áine Tubridy suggest that the condition is ‘an emotion not a disease’ – which I believe extends to many other forms of mental and emotional challenge, and makes our issues dramatically easier to confront and manage than when conventional, Big-Pharma entrenched professionals point to brain and body chemistry, and other often unhelpful perceptions. Every problem potentially has multiple solutions. Despite how difficult and overwhelming things can be, mental health is something that we must believe can be tackled, managed and improved throughout our lives, provided we refuse to give in to passivity, and instead use our inherent power to make positive changes.
85. Holly Shortall Designer and illustrator A couple of different factors in my personal life lead me to seek out a therapist last year. Since then, I have come to realise that a lot of my friends have done or are doing the same, and that none of us have a thing to be ashamed of. I was lucky to have been in a place of privilege: I work full time, live in Dublin City Centre, and am a straight, white, cis-gendered person who had just been awarded some compensation from a court case. For me, sourcing a therapist was as simple as Googling the closest place to me, and sending an email. I could afford to spend €70 an hour on several hour-long therapy sessions. They helped me get out of the very low place I was in at the time, as it was a temporary feeling. I am very aware that this is not the case for a large proportion of society seeking help. It is a lot harder to get access to mental health services for example, for those living in Direct Provision, the LGBTQ+ community, people suffering with addiction, disadvantaged adults and children and other vulnerable groups – basically those who are more susceptible to depression and suicidal thoughts and who need that help the most. It’s vital that the Government and HSE work together to increase access to mental health services, provide more funding to services across the country and ensure that the most vulnerable groups in society are given access to decent care – not just those of us who can afford it. Children in Direct Provision as young as 11 have said they don’t want to live anymore. One third of LGBTQ+ teens in Ireland have attempted suicide. We have the second highest rate of depression in the Western World, and the fourth highest rate of teenage suicide in Europe. All of this while funding to services is being slashed. It’s a scandal and a crisis that requires action.
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87. Katie O’Neill Alien She
It is not uncommon knowledge that I went through a period of emotional and mental turmoil in my mid-to-late twenties, which led me to self-harm as a coping mechanism. I have long since reconciled that period of my life, and I use the experience to springboard conversations about mental health in schools and at events around the country. I don’t love recalling it and, if it didn’t serve a purpose, I’d happily consign it to the dustbin of history, happy in the knowledge that I conquered it and learned from it. The purpose it serves is to highlight two things. First: the aggressive disregard depression has for your circumstances, family life, financial stability or prosperity outside of the source of angst. For me, life was offensively rosy at the time I experienced a relationship breakup. I had no other source of turmoil – and so had trouble identifying, understanding and finally accepting that when I did find myself suddenly unable to cope, it was a problem that needed outside help and support. I also use it to impress on young people the difference between mental health and mental illness. Mental illness is a psychiatric disorder, an illness that can be diagnosed by a doctor – like schizophrenia, dementia, bipolar etc. It can be a life-long condition that will need constant clinical evaluation and perhaps medication. Mental health, however, is simply how you react to the challenges that life invariably throws at you, your psychological wellbeing day to day. I had never been emotionally tested to the level I was when I lost my way. People experience break-ups all the time and are fine, so I couldn’t reconcile how I was feeling with my general circumstances. I was embarrassed that what seemed like a trivial matter on paper, and something everyone goes through, was causing me such anguish. It was that combination of anguish, embarrassment, shame and inability to rationalise my way back to stability that led to me one day picking up a scissors and scraping it over my skin. I still have some tell-tale battle scars to remind me of that time. When I eventually did realise the situation needed some external intervention, I plucked up the courage to talk to someone. As quickly as the clouds descended, they began to lift. I learned how to handle destructive or negative emotions and have become an ambassador for Pieta House. Throughout that time, I managed to hide cuts and scars from practically everyone, save maybe two people. So bear in mind, you really have no idea what’s going on behind closed doors. Be kind to people and educate yourself on how to look after yourself – and should the occasion ever call for it, on how to look after others.
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Highly recommended by Katie Podcasts: The Mental Illness Happy Hour and The Hilarious World of Depression. Book: The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron.
88. Sarah Houlihan Kerry Ladies footballer A loss by suicide is shocking, devastating and one of the most difficult of losses to grieve. The associated stigma can make it difficult for a family to acknowledge the loss and to work through their grief. The shame or embarrassment can lead them to keep it a secret. That was the case following the death of my brother Timmy, a few years ago. I was only fifteen years old when I lost him, a decorated jockey in the horse racing world, who had already been so successful in his 20 short years. I was very young at the time. I didn’t understand suicide. You are never prepared for death to knock on your door, and my family most certainly was not prepared for what came knocking on our door. I often think about my parents and the sense of isolation they must have felt. People may feel uncomfortable approaching someone whose loved one ended their own life. It is even more isolating for those unable to share the cause of death. I come from a large family, with six other siblings – five brothers and a sister. I have two younger brothers who at the time of his death were so young you could not even begin to explain to them what had happened. They wouldn’t have understood. We didn’t understand it ourselves. So, as a family we didn’t speak about it. We assumed this is the best way of coping. But in fact it is the worst. We were only creating another problem. I know first-hand the impact of suicide and I hope that I might help to prevent others from suffering that loss. Nowadays it is scary how common suicide is. Suicide prevention is truly up to us all, reaching out and helping those at risk. You have good days, and you have bad days. Remember there is always someone to talk to – especially on the bad days. It’s ok to not feel ok.
Photo by Piaras Ó Mídheach/Sportsfile
86. Eoghan McDermott RTÉ 2fm/ Ambassador Pieta House
It’s really important to be open about our mental health struggles if we can. There’s a toxic culture in Ireland of “Ah sure you’ll be fine – just have a drink”; or “Ah no, stop being a moan”; or my least favourite, the idea that you have to be “the craic.” These are really unhelpful and dangerous ideas we need to stop cultivating. We grow up with a set of lessons and programming from our culture, families of origin and school/learning environments. Some of those lessons can cause anxiety, depression and other mental health struggles. One of the best things I ever did was to realise this, admit it to close friends and myself, and start seeing a therapist. I was struggling with these issues for years before I sought help. Music and art enable me to express these things, but I’ve grown past the idea that it’s enough to box issues like this in creative pursuits. They need more attention. Becoming aware that I was avoiding my issues by looking to relationships, work or distraction to solve them has helped. Avoiding alcohol has too. Exercise, eating well and practising saying no to things I don’t really want to do, rather than always worrying what the other thinks, is also key. It’s not easy to let go of old habits and it’s not something we can do by ourselves. Some issues are too big or confusing for friends and family – I highly recommend support groups (usually free) and therapy. As my favourite comedian Maria Bamford says: “You think you’re a really awful person who has done awful things and no one will ever love you? Google it – someone has done it before you and is now on a book tour.”
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89. Agnes Obel Singer, Songwriter and Musician
I am very curious about depression and music. There has been a lot of depression in my family and I have this feeling it is easier to manage if you have an outlet for it. I haven’t been depressed to the point of sickness so far, but I certainly have a fear because I had it in my teens. I’ve seen it in my Dad and other people in my family. If you can use it in your music, then you are removing yourself from it. Depression is linked to a feeling that things are completely meaningless and there is no point, but there is so much hope in creativity. I often heard my music has helped people who are sad and enabled them to deal with difficult things that have happened in their lives. This makes me really happy… If you sing with someone it is a communal thing, so it can make people feel less alone.
“If you sing with someone it is a communal thing, so it can make people feel less alone. “ 90. Arnold Thomas Fanning Playwright & Author One myth I’d like to see dispelled is the one that says that mental illness and creativity are somehow linked beneficially; that to be crazy, in other words, is to be artistically productive, and therefore to be envied. For the fact is that mental illness brings no benefit to the creative process whatsoever; rather it disrupts and often destroys it. Creativity, the creative process, creative and artistic output, thrives with and comes from routine, regularity, dedication, and stability in life. All of these benefits and necessities are severely disrupted and jeopardised by the catastrophic effects of mental illness on the mind; so to continue to accept the myth that there are benefits to being mentally ill in terms of creative output, to comply with the idea that creativity and un-wellness are linked and compatible actually has the effect of confusing the pursuit of wellness, encouraging complacency over vigilance, and undermining the motivation and dedication it takes to be well. For to be well when living with a diagnosis of a mental illness does take effort and commitment: a commitment to taking the meds, attending therapies, eating a good diet, consuming little or no alcohol, getting a good night’s sleep, as well as acceptance, insight, and compliance. That is, acceptance of your diagnosis, insight into your illness, and compliance with your treatment plan. Out of all this derives wellness, the overcoming of the worst effects of a mental illness, and within wellness routine can exist, regularity can grow, from which creativity can truly thrive and flourish. • Arnold Thomas Fanning’s memoir Mind on Fire: A Memoir of Madness is out now.
I think human beings are complex and we’re not just one thing at one time.
91. Shirley Manson Lead singer, Garbage “There are times when I see you talking to other girls/ I feel insecure/ and every time I see you walking out/ I wonder if youʼre coming back to me” – ʻIf I Lost You' I think human beings are complex and we’re not just one thing at one time. There’s always concurrent drivers in a human being of any substance. There are moments in my life where I feel insecure and certainly that sudden realisation that when you love somebody… just how vulnerable that makes you. I guess ‘If I Lost You’ is a study of that realisation that when you fall in love, and you are committed to that person and are serious, you’re putting yourself at peril in a way. Your happiness is in their hands. That’s a weird, wonderful, horrific realisation – for me at least. I don’t compartmentalise my feelings a lot. Everything sort of swims around in the dark murky waters of my psyche, so I don’t find it difficult to tune into my emotions. When I’m in concert and I’m singing a song like that I can tap right into where I was when I was writing it.
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92. MABEL Musician In a house of creative people* I was very lucky. It was recognised from a young age that lots of people have depression and anxiety. When I’m feeling frustrated, I channel it into something positive – rather than just feeling bad. I was quite open emotionally as a kid. My parents said, ‘You're one of us. You need to find a form of expression'. The first thing I want to do is communicate with people. If I talk about it, then maybe someone else will be able to talk about it too. *Mabel is the daughter of singer and songwriter Neneh Cherry and Massive Attack producer Cameron McVey.
93. Katie Laffan Singer / Songwriter
94. Áine Cahill Singer / Songwriter
I suffer sometimes with anxiety, particularly socially. In recent months, admitting that and confronting it has improved how I make friends and talk to new people. It's allowing me to come out of my comfort zone – and for it to sometimes become my comfort zone. I've learned having the wrong people around you, who won't listen to these things, isn’t a good idea. It's important to talk about your struggles just as much as your triumphs – and finding the right person to listen, no matter how minor or massive your problem is, is key! Your mental health is your health. It should come first.
I’ve always found it hard to open up and talk about my feelings. That’s why I started writing music: I was getting rid of the things I didn’t know how to tell others. Bottling up stuff is soI worked with someone recently, who got me into the habit of setting an alarm at the same time every day of the week saying ‘today’s a good day’. It’s a reminder that those little things I’m worrying about aren’t as bad as I let myself believe they are. It sounds silly but it works for me.
It’s important to talk about your struggles just as much as your triumphs – and finding the right person to listen, no matter how minor or massive your problem is, is key! -Katie Laf fan
95. Kenny Egan Olympic medal-winning boxer I had suicidal thoughts because of alcohol. The depths of despair. The fear. The anxiety. I was thinking, ‘Jesus Christ! Why am I putting myself through this?’ Then I’d get up out of bed, brush my teeth and go back out on the drink to make myself more relaxed again. It was like Groundhog Day for a couple of weeks at a time. Ultimately, I said enough’s enough and quit.
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96. Elaine Crowley
Broadcaster/ Virgin Media Television One
Today I am full of sad. For no particular reason, I am just full of sad. It happens like that sometimes. I’m cruising along, living my life, and bit by bit I slip into the sad without even realising it sometimes... And with it comes the absolute dread that this time it won’t go away. My rational self knows it will, I’ve dealt with the Big D – and all that comes with it – many, many times. So I just withdraw for a while. Curl up into myself and go about my life as best I can. Baby steps. Being kind to myself. Hoping it won’t last too long this time. Grateful for the people around me that I love, who don’t judge me, who are there for me even when I don’t realise I need them. And knowing that when the sad goes away, as I know it will, I will be there for the people who – in turn – need me.
100. Nicola Hughes
Star of Made in Chelsea / Social media personality I’ve had counselling. In extreme cases – when I broke up with my ex – I took tablets to calm me down. Or if I’m travelling I take some stuff to calm me down. But I don’t want to rely on these kind of things. I’d much rather deal with it myself and, only in extreme cases, maybe take things. But, yeah, it’s a weird one: everyone says you should talk about anxiety because you need to talk about it. For me, it almost brings on an anxiety attack. But people say you should do that, to realise you’re not going to die, you’re going to be okay. And just kind of talk yourself through it. Now when I get them, honestly, I say it to my parents: I’m so lucky to have them. Because they’re the first people I call. I’m like, ‘Dad, it’s happening. I need to be calmed down’.
97. Sean Millar
Singer, songwriter & theatre-maker
Nicola Hughes Photo: Katrhin Baumbach
People don't have a clue what's really going on with other people, even sometimes those that they love. People that you diss and you envy; people that you respect and admire; people that you love and revere – any of them could be hanging by a thread. I absolutely know this to be true. I eventually did “work on myself ” when I was thirty-five years old. It worked for me. I did Psychotherapy and I did some courses that taught me a bit about how the brain works, and helped me figure out how to change my thinking about myself. I can't recommend it highly enough. Twenty years later, and the anxiety and sadness that ran my life has largely disappeared. There is help out there if you reach for it. The shame and stigma around mental health destroys some people’s lives. We have to end that. Lose our Shame, lay down that toxic burden. Big love to anyone who's struggling. You might feel alone, but believe me, you are anything but.
98. Mark McCambridge Arborist According to a Help Musicians UK study in 2016, musicians are three times more likely to suffer from mental health issues, than other professions. There is no doubt the uncertainty and unreliability of a career in the arts – and under the ubiquitous ear of the discerning listener – can easily lead to instability; and that this lack of ballast is a breeding ground for mental health issues. It is vital that support services are available within the industry and, most importantly, that they are visible and pro-active. The flip-side is music’s ability to act as a remedy and to keep the illness from developing at all. With the right support, this kind of magic can blossom.
99. James Kavanagh Social media personality/TV Presenter About 14 years ago, I was very badly bullied from 1st to 3rd year in secondary school, all for the crime of being a gay in an all boys school. The bullying was carried out mainly by one guy who had an obsession with me and my sexuality. I always think he’d be great at marketing, as he was so creative with the ways he’d bully me each day – he put a lot of thought into it. One day in 3rd year, he attempted to pass a survey around my class asking the question ‘How Gay Is James?’ – ruled beautifully and written with different coloured pens. One of the guys in my class stopped him passing it around. It was the first time someone had ever stood up for me and (as dramatic as it sounds) it completely changed my perspective on life. It took one person to break me for those three years, and just one person to make me, in that one act of kindness. Never underestimate the simplicity of kind gestures. Be nice to absolutely everyone you come across and you could, albeit unknowingly, take them out of a dark place.
Be nice to absolutely everyone you come across and you could, albeit unknowingly, take them out of a dark place.
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NOW WE'RE TALKING
The Town Hall Gathering A night of conversation and music on the theme of Mental Health, featuring some very Special Guests 10th October World Mental Health Day
Smock Alley, Dublin 2 For updates and further info go to hotpress.com/lyonstea and follow Hot Press Social Media #noweretalking
PIETA HOUSE Through its network of centres nationwide, Pieta House Offers counselling and support free of charge. If in crisis call 1800 247 247 see their website www.pieta.ie or email to mary@pieta.ie 024HOTPRESS.COM 100 VOICES 054