Photo by Tom Shaw
Brotherhood Above All Gay in Greek Life D. V. JIMENEZ
P
ersonally, I could not care less that I am gay. I came out to my mom at 13, the rest of my family at 15, and everyone else... who cares? I was scared at first (who wouldn’t be), but eventually I figured the best way to come out was to let people figure it out themselves. I would never have thought that I would be pledging a fraternity during my time at George Mason University. Considering the stereotype that Greek life is majorly homophobic, I avoided fraternities like the plague. Sometimes I ask, What was I thinking? -- not because I regret the decision, but because I am so shocked that I made it. I met the brothers of my fraternity on campus through another organization, and at the time I was not aware of their integral role in Greek life. I saw them while out at parties with my friends, noting the strong bonds the brothers had with one another. One would be whining about how he was sad over a girl and the other would tell him to just grow some balls and get over it. That sort of advice was something I associated with my own biological brothers at home, and I could not believe people talked like this when they were not actually related.
Months later, I saw a Facebook post about recruitment, so I attended one of their sessions, and the tightness of the bond was reinforced even more. The more they talked about their fraternity, the more I could feel how this was not just some hypermasculine stereotype, but rather an authentic experience shared among a vast amount of people. When these people called themselves brothers, they actually meant it. I showed interest by attending their parties, volunteer services, and conventions. What I liked most about this fraternity was how each brother displayed an authentic personality. I had an epiphany: the purpose of Greek life is not to impress people with letters embroidered on fabric, but rather to showcase a bond that people can share with one another in spite of their differences. Although I had a feeling that pledging this fraternity would not be easy, eventually I committed. I was set and ready to take on a new challenge in my life. I had a lot of fun with my fraternity brothers, and they appreciated me for who I was. When they found out I was gay, there was a huge wave of indifference towards the subject. One brother has a gay cousin, and one of the advisors for the fraternity is gay himself.
You might think that is the end of it, but eventually, I did encounter homophobia. I still remember the harsh words from my pledge brother in a voice that sounded like a congested throat scarred from infection, “I do not want to pledge with a gay person.” Later, the same brother said to me in private, “Even if we end up crossing into the fraternity together, I will not call you my brother.” My first reaction was to brush it off, just like I had brushed off ten years of enduring the machismo of my stepfather. But, I realized this might be easier said than done. Identifying as a homosexual and pledging a fraternity was not a good mix, even in 2016. Homophobia is and always will be an obstacle for the LGBTQ community. If we did not endure it, how would we grow? The process of accepting this has been hard, but dealing with my pledge brothers has been even harder. Becoming brothers of the same fraternity didn’t eliminate our differences, but over time they were diminished in the name of brotherhood. While I might not be able to tell everyone that being a gay person in a fraternity is easy, in my personal experience it has been worth it. 15