TYPES OF
STONERS
STORY BY RILEY NEUHEARDT // ILLUSTRATIONS BY LAUREN NAIL
The countrywide push for marijuana legalization has never been stronger, and news about the drug is everywhere. So are pot lovers themselves. Pot smokers come in many forms. They may all be prone to the same munchies, but here’s a rundown of the five most distinctive types of ganj-imbibers.
oner the psychadelic stvarie ty, the psychedelic stoner is the
ng The most stereotypical of the cannabis-lovi d. His wardrobe consists of an ample wee with ciate asso kind your parents probably hedelic rts, and he proudly wears jandals. A psyc amount of tie-dye and Bob Marley t-shi talk and high e “chill” ambient music when he’s stoner will always want to listen to som y reall -gliding. Or swimming with dolphins. Or about how wild LSD would be. Or hang like?” stions like, “What does water even taste anything. He’ll also ask the important que
the quiet stoner
feel variety. When the quiet stoner begins to Every group of stoners is familiar with this the into them ing socially interact, thus turn high, they forget how to form words and to eating alone in the corner. They may seem weird kid that’s just kind of sitting there — but don’t be alarmed by their presence be plotting and scheming in their silence, ersation. they’re just tired or can’t relate to the conv
the paranoid stoner
At one time or another, most people have been this stoner. They just needs to know if their clothes smell like weed. And can you please take that picture off your Snapch at story? Does anyone have eyedrops??
the lovey-dovey stoner This stoner only has
eyes for you. And their be st friend’s cool Instagram picture, and tha t really soft dog lying by their feet, and probably a bag of Do ritos. The lovey stoner jus t wants to curl up, relax and wallow in the good vibes. They pro bably thrive on cliché phrases about love and war and Ins tag rams them with #quoteofthed ay.
er the intellectual ston roximately 40
BUZZ
able to access app With just one hit, this stoner is y acity. You know this because the percent more of their brain cap t you of the exact dollar amoun told you – along with informing this year with weed legalized, Colorado taxpayers are saving all behind closed doors and how what the government is doing The nt. ed us for this very mome of human evolution has prepar high, olutely everything when they’re intellectual is an expert on abs have deep philosophical talks. and they’re always looking to
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