in life, there are always new and challenging issues. People often tell me, “I never thought I’d be single at this stage in my life.” My hope is to help as many of them as possible. Tom’s 10 Tips for Finding a Mate My life partner, Greta, and I had dinner with a widower friend of ours after Christmas. As we were leaving the restaurant, he said, “I don’t want to be alone anymore. But I don’t know how to meet a potential mate. What do you advise?” I put together a list that would help him get started. I call it Tom’s 10 Tips for Finding a Mate. The tips apply to both men and women. 1. Let friends, family, and acquaintances know that you’d like to meet other singles. That’s what Ken did with me. He let me know that he was rejoining the human race and wanted to meet new people. The more people he gets the word out to, the better his chances of finding someone. It’s called networking. And it works.
A week after Ken asked for advice, I received an email from a single woman in his city. I asked each one of them separately if they’d like to correspond. They said yes. Had Ken not mentioned his situation to me, I wouldn’t have thought about introducing them. 2. Get off the couch and out of the house. You won’t meet anybody sitting at home. You need to be where you will meet new people. Sure, it takes energy and time, but it will give you a purpose. Attend weddings, reunions, church activities, dances, and accept all invitations to events. Volunteer. Another widower I know volunteers at a nearby hospital twice a week and helps feed the homeless at his brother’s church twice a month. He’s met single women at both places. 3. Go out to enrich your life and meet new people. Do not go out solely to find a mate. People looking too hard come off as desperate and end up turning off the opposite sex. Often, it’s when we
aren’t looking that we meet someone special. 4. Pursue activities you enjoy where both sexes are involved. For guys repairing old cars, you likely won’t meet a potential mate. Ditto for women who are quilting. 5. Get the body moving. Walk and exercise. Be friendly to folks you see along the way. Offer to walk with them if appropriate. 6. Keep expectations in check. Meeting a potential mate won’t be easy, but don’t give up. It takes time. 7. Internet dating is one method of meeting potential mates. For people living in remote areas, online dating may be a necessity to meet new people. For people 50-plus, online dating is risky. There are scammers and evil people looking for vulnerable and lonely singles. However, it has worked for lots of couples. If a guy online sounds too good to be true, he is. Trust your instincts. Don’t be naïve. 8. Smile and be friendly, positive,
and upbeat. If you are in a post-office line, or a grocery-store line, be assertive by striking up a conversation—but don’t be overly pushy about it. 9. Check out the website Meetup (www.meetup.com). There is no cost and they have clubs and groups across the U.S. that cover all kinds of special interests. Pick some different ones and attend them. You will be enriching your life and making new friends. 10. Subscribe to my weekly On Life and Love after 50 e-newsletter at www. FindingLoveAfter60.com. There is no cost. More than 1,000 singles ages 50 to 90 from across the country share their experiences, frustrations, and successes. Above all, recharge your batteries and get out and meet new people. I’m betting our friend Ken will be up and running in no time. For dating information, previous articles, or to sign up for Tom’s complimentary, weekly e-newsletter, go to www. findingloveafter60.com.
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The Last Laugh
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