OTK Issue 02

ISSUE 02

Her Words. Her Journey. Her Story.

TAMARA ALBURY How Diamonds Are Made

Our mission is to

support empower and

women of all ages and any race through traditional

journalism, storytelling, illustrations and photography.

supports diversity, inclusion and equality for women This magazine

.

Our hope is that the stories in the magazine illustrate this through the telling details of our everyday women’s inspiring lives.

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FROM THE EDITOR Welcome back to Issue No. 2.

The first story I received for this issue was an essay about failure by writer Jade

Emerson. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I moved through each paragraph. I think it was because I could relate and knew what she had been through the last two years, which isn’t unlike what a lot of women endure — failure to meet the endless

2

demands made on us balancing work and our personal lives. My next thought was,

Women of Fort Worth Who Inspire

I can’t wait to share this with all of the women who read this.

As the other stories rolled in, my elation grew, because what founder and owner Adrienne Martinez and I are doing is humbling — the timeless effort of giving a voice to all women in our community through talented writers’ essays, poems, short stories and reporting. I know people have been changing lives through pictures and words since we lived in caves, but to carry that baton for women is life-giving work. I mean, we have Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Gayle Reaves contributing her heart-opening poetry to this issue. How Amber Davis’ illustrations dress up the writing throughout in the finest of clothes is awesome too.

And the way our cover illustration coalesced is some sort of magical kismet just like all of the other ways this magazine has come together. Adrienne found chalk artist Jan Riggins on Instagram. Her wheels started to turn. If this second issue’s cover story is about the Young Women’s Leadership Academy principal’s life journey, and chalk is used in schools, then maybe our next cover illustration could be a chalk mural on the wall at the school, illustrating how diamonds are made through heat and pressure, just like principal Tamara Albury. Voila!

While that offered a little insight into how Adrienne’s wheels turn and how she pours her heart into everything, the way it happened also reflects the beauty of this magazine — she found a female artist to support who also wanted to support other women through her passion and craft, which then tells a story about another woman through her art, whose passion as a principal helps countless young women. It then created a moment for the students at school to come together and experience women empowering other women as they chalked words of empowerment onto the mural one morning. My hope is that these ripples in the water unfurl into a surge of kindess to people everywhere as we are reminded that women like Tamara don’t wake up one morning a badass — they are made that way through a life full of experiences being tested in the fire like the coal and

With gratitude,

gems in jars on her desk.

There is not enough room on this page to share everything I am over-the-moon excited about in this magazine, but I hope you feel as much joy as I did reading

JOCELYN F TATUM

Executive Editor

these pages. Or at least find inspiration to start your own journey. Let us know how we can help you along the way.

What is the best gift you have ever received?

S arah An g le WRITER

Ce le st in a B lo k WRITER

The best gift I’ve ever received is my son Bo. Having a child in my late 30s added more chaos to my already hectic life but at the same time slowed me down in the best possible way.

J ill B o ld WRITER

The best gift I’ve received in my life would be my planner — it is my lifeline. I’ve gone through several over the years, but I received my first one as a gift from my grandmother, who told me that by mastering my time and writing down my tasks I might find some freedom in chaos. Thank you, Mimi.

J e n n ife r Cass e d ay- B lair WRITER

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

John 3:16

Amb e r Dav is I L LU ST R ATO R

When I was a kid, my grandmother began bringing me to her oil painting class on Saturday mornings. I begrudgingly attended a studio full of old Bob Ross groupies instead of slumber parties with my peers for about six years. I believe this is the greatest gift I have ever received. I found a creative outlet that is still changing my life for the better, and I am forever grateful.

Jad e E me rs o n WRITER

Sharing a story, especially the ones that are closest to us, requires so much bravery, so the best gift I’ve received is the stories that people trust and share with me.

Agustin Gonza lez PHOTOGRAPHER

The best gift I have received was a Canon film camera, and it was so meaningful to me, because with that camera, it brought me life lessons I could not get anywhere else. I have not received many gifts so I had to really think hard on that one.

M yr ia m Gonza lez WRITER

The best gift I ever received was when I was 10, and my cousin gifted me a turquoise “Lion King” diary. It was the first legitimate item I could write my thoughts in, and it came with a lock, which made it super secretive and special.

Angie M a r tinez WRITER

The best gift I received in life was my children.

They completely changed the course of my life in the absolute best way. And my husband gifted me a pair of handmade cowboy boots from M.L Leddys as my wedding gift! Boots are nearly 9 years old and still going strong.

E r ic Ra mirez PHOTOGRAPHER

The guitar my mom gave me for Christmas in seventh grade and which I still have. It ignited my passion for music.

Gayle Reaves WRITER

The best gift I think I ever received was my own (illustrated) copy of Anna Sewell’s Black Beauty when I was about in second or third grade. I loved horses, and I loved that book so much that I remember memorizing the first several pages of the children’s version so I could recite it to my parents. On my birthday, when I unwrapped my own brand-new copy, I was speechless.

Amb er Shuma ke PHOTOGRAPHER

My son. His birth mother gave us the most incredible gift when she allowed us to adopt him. When I see him, I am reminded daily of her courage and the capacity within each of us to love one another.

Shilo Ur b a n WRITER

A Crayola Caddy. Creativity + Organization = Pure Bliss

3 OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02

My mom gives me the gift of time and love every Monday when she picks up my daughter from school.

CONTRIBUTORS

F E A T U R E S

Women of Fort Worth Who Inspire

4 One to Watch

38 Hailey Hernandez Determined Profile

42 As the Crowe Flies: Profile of a Runner Short Story

46 Painting with the Dark Poetry by Gayle Reaves

48 Oyster Farming Poetry by Gayle Reaves

50 Big Blues in Cowtown Poetry by Wynn Amargein Ellis

28 TAMARA One to Know

albury

How Diamonds Are Made

Photo by Amber Shumake

u o k y n a Th

AMANDA Arizola • CYNTHIA Ayala • JULIE Baker • MARIA R Balandran • REBECCA Balcarcel • KYOKO Bass • • MARISA Bell • CHRISTINA Berger • EVA Bermejo • MELINDA Bermejo • • VALERIE Bigler • LASHAUNN Bold • EVA Bonilla • LISA Botello • • DONNA Campbell • KENYAIL Carr • AMANDA Darden • LANESHA Davis • • DIONNA Deardorff • CORRIE Donovan • DAYNA Epley • CARI Feehan • • ROBIN Fielding • ALLYSSA Garcia • ALICIA Garza • IANINE Glassman • • MARTHA Gonzales • NANCY Gonzales • MYRIAM Gonzalez • FIGEN Gundogdu • • NICOLE Hawkins • LEE Henderson • LAURA High • ANNETTE Hill • FLO Hill • • JACLYN Justice • SAMANTHA Keaton • ANNE Kline • LOREE LaChance • BLAIZE LaFleur • • KENDAL Lake • CYNTHIA M Lopez • NELLIE Martinez • CONNOR Mccourt • MORIAH Mendez • • ANAKA Mittal • DANA Moody • LIZ Nelson • ANNA Noyce • BOB Of DFW • JENNA Pinder • • JAN Riggins • CAROL Roark • BETTY Rodriguez • MARIA Rodriguez • KAREN Rogers • • MONICA Savino • ERICKA Solis • TERRIE Talbert • DEVONNE Tatum • • ESTHER Turner • ELISA Valdez • ERIN Varnon • LORENA Waits • ANDREW Walker • •

•

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We are Romy and Abby of Urban Plantology, a Mother-daughter owned plant shop in

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URBAN PLANTOLOGY | 817.879.3341 308 N Main St. | Fort Worth, TX 76102 @urbanplantology1

F O R

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Y O U R

S U P P O R T

CONTENTS ISSUE 02

14

22

60

Women of Fort Worth Who Inspire

6

SPOTLIGHT 8 SINGER ‘I Get in Where I Fit In’

WORTH 12 STAYING Fresh Airbnbs

14 MAKING

Holiday Gifts for Loved Ones

18 TRYING

Taking the Reins

SUPPORT 20 WINTON + WAITS

BE WELL 60 MINDFULNESS

22 ART ROOM

64 MENTAL HEALTH

Impact Maker

Make a Little Room for the Art Room

READER’S REVEAL 24 WHAT IF If you had an hour of free time right now, how would you spend it?

LIFE 52 AT HOME

Home Design Tips on a Budget

56 PROFESSIONAL

Work Too Much? Blame the Pilgrims

Failing Her Way Toward Success

ESSAY

Better Box

68 HEALING

When East Meets West

FOOD 72 MATRIARCHS

Why Can’t I Cook Like My Mother?

PHILANTHROPY 76 STONE’S THROW FARM CO.

Stories with QR codes

2 Editor’s Letter 3 Contributors 26 Craft 80 Ponder GET YOUR SMART PHONES READY. Scan the QR code or Spotify code at the end of the article for more video and audio content.

“More specific to my identity as a Black woman [...] we don’t get heard or seen in the fullness of our identity very often in a general sense. It is really important to create space to do that. When we create

space, other people see space that they, too, can take up, and they feel like they are freer to speak out when they see other people actually doing that thing [...] It really

helps draw others out who might share the same marginalization or sexualization or racial issues.”

- ‘I Get in Where I Fit In’, by Jocelyn Tatum, P 8

horses gave me a place of acceptance and love that I didn’t 7 often find amongst my peers. Now as an adult, I feel I am “As a child and preteen, riding and being close to

For Editorial Inquiries editorial@OneToKnowMagazine.com Advertising sales@OneToKnowMagazine.com Design Adrienne Martinez, art director Editorial Jocelyn F. Tatum, executive editor Contributors Editorial Sarah Angle , Celestina Blok, Jill Bold, Jennifer Casseday-Blair, Wynn Amargein Ellis, Jade Emerson, Myriam Gonzalez, Angie Martinez, Gayle Reaves, Jessica Strange, Shilo Urban Photography Agustin Gonzalez, Eric Ramirez, Amber Shumake Illustrator Amber Davis Have an idea or see a mistake? Tell us about it: editorial@OneToKnowMagazine.com One To Know Magazine is a bimonthly, subscription-based publication.

All rights reserved.

Views and comments expressed by individuals do not necessarily represent those of the publishers, and no legal responsibility can be accepted for the result of the use by readers of information or advice of whatever kind given in this publication, either in editorial or advertisements.

No part of this publication may be reprinted or duplicated without the prior permission of One To Know Magazine LLC. FOLLOW AND LIKE US

@onetoknowmagazine VISIT US ONLINE OneToKnowMagazine.com

“These radical English Calvinists [aka Pilgrims] have long hogged the spotlight in our country’s founding myth, their flaws overlooked, their big black hats obscuring the central contributions of Native Americans, African slaves and the Spanish (to name a few).”

- Work Too Much? Blame the Pilgrims, by Shilo Urban, P 56 “And so the question becomes no longer if we will fail, but rather what things do we care so deeply about that they are worth failing for — love, work, art, family, school, dreams? I want a full existence, even if that means it is full of failure. Because when it comes down to it, a life without failure is no life at all.”

- Failing Her Way Toward Success, by Jade Emerson, P 60 “What we inherit from our mothers, whether it comes in the

form of a recipe or a memory, is something that we carry with us throughout our lives, whether or not we

can recreate it. So maybe we aren’t meant to reproduce it but rather carry that memory with us and help it evolve into new experiences with our families and friends.”

-Why Can’t I Cook Like My Mother?, food essay by Angie Martinez, P 72 “Here, we’re about sisterhood, we’re about empowerment, we’re about being kind. In a world that really is not set up for girls to be successful, we create a bubble where they are.”

- How Diamonds Are Made, the cover story by Jade Emerson, P 28

OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02

Publisher & Owner Adrienne Martinez

returning home. I started riding again six months ago after losing my mother unexpectedly. I have rediscovered that love and acceptance, and something deeper.”

- Taking the Reins, by Jennifer Casseday-Blair and Jocelyn Tatum, P 18

[S P OT LIGH T] S I N G E R + S O N G W R I T E R

Back to Her Roots

8

‘I Get in Where I Fit In’

By Jocelyn Tatum

Photos by Eric Ramirez

9 OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02

She looks up and out over the fretboard of her LX1 Little Martin guitar or Pisgah banjo toward the sky when she sings. She has several banjos and guitars, but these are her current favorites. Her face softens as she eases into the song. A subtle smile cracks her lips and her voice harkens back to the enchanting sirens from the “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?” movie, a folk parody of the Greek classic The Odyssey. Her sound, style and talent are unlike any other in Fort Worth, especially for the already underrepresented Black female musicians here.

“I just get in where I fit in,” Brandi Pace says.

What she writes runs the gamut, but what she performs and practices mostly these days she describes as Early American Roots music, the parent to the blues if she were to describe it to one of her former elementary school students.

She didn’t get into roots music until her early 30s, and she has been around music her whole life. She grew up in Atlanta, Georgia, and has generational roots there. She remembers when she was little a few family members who were church musicians and would form a band and choir preforming gospel music at family gatherings.

“Once I learned more about the history and the style and started connecting with other Black folks who were really digging deep into the roots of the music, it became a really strong cultural connection for me. So that’s really been the most powerful part of making this music,” she says.

In a recent picture posted on her Instagram of her and several other women all holding banjos in Augusta, Georgia, for the “Old-Time and Blues and Swing Week,” she said that 10 years ago, seeing that many Black roots musicians all in one place would have been rare. “We are at a wonderful moment in American history in which a growing number of Black roots musicians are reclaiming our musical traditions — the banjo was created by enslaved Africans in the Americas, and Blackness is deeply embedded within the origin of traditional American music.”

[S P OT LIGH T] S I N G E R + S O N G W R I T E R

Back to Her Roots

10

Brandi is a musician, educator, racial equity advocate, PhD student in music education, and 37-year-old mother of three grade school children. She sings and plays the piano, the guitar, ukulele and banjo, and those are just what she feels confident enough to perform in front of an audience. She also launched the Fort Worth African American Roots Music Festival (FWAAMFest) in 2019, but the pandemic sent it to the virtual world like everything else. It will now be in person March 19, 2022, at Southside Preservation Hall in the Near Southside District.

People can still watch the virtual show by looking the festival up on YouTube or Facebook. “I am so excited that we are set to bring Fort Worth an inperson festival in 2022,” she says.

Music is a language everyone speaks, and Brandi brings awareness to underrepresented

racial groups through those universal notes and her nonprofit, Decolonizing the Music Room.

There is a dominant narrative in music education in America, and as a Black woman and educator, she knows how music should be represented in the classroom. Her nonprofit is a platform to rethink the way people engage with music education and get information out there about a more diverse music narrative. She offers training and consulting sessions, so she does a fair amount of presenting to nonprofits and school districts to hopefully create lasting change.

Music has always been there for her and has expanded as a conduit for all things spiritual, emotional and even practical, like a source of income. But making a living in music is not a motivator; it is just a part of her. “I think it is more a communication of identity. It is being able

SCAN THE SPOTIFY CODE to LISTEN to Brandi’s 5 favorite tracks of all time.

What Brandi is listening to these days.

Her tastes vary wildly, but these days she has been listening to a lot of songs from Esperanza Spalding, Moonchild, Fastball, Fiona Apple, Djavan, Bilal, and tons of Naruto opening and ending themes.

Here is a list of five of some of her favorite tracks of all time. “It’s so hard to choose only five,” she says.

AGUAS DE MARCO

by Rosa Passos

I LIKE IT

by DeBarge

WAVE GOODBYE

by Chris Cornell

THREE VIEWS OF A SECRET plural views

by Jaco Pastorius

SAY YOU’LL BE THERE

by Spice Girls

Tell us about your banjo collection: Brandi has several banjos. “You can’t have just one, LOL).” She has a gourd, one from about 1890, one from about 1910, what she would call a basic but good quality electric acoustic, but her favorite is her Pisgah banjo. “My friend had it built customized to her liking a few years ago. We were together at a big old old-time festival in West Virginia in 2019, and she let me play it for a couple of days. I loved it so much I asked if she would sell it to me, and she did.”

Once I learned more about the history and the style and started connecting with other Black folks who were really digging deep into the roots of the music, it became a really strong cultural connection for me. So that’s 11 really been the most powerful part of making this music.”

-BRANDI PACE

OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02

to express who I am, and who I am is so many things, that being able to have different styles and different instruments,” she says.

It is important for her that she expresses her full identity as a Black woman and as a mother, educator and activist. “More specific to my identity as a Black woman [...] we don’t get heard or seen in the fullness of our identity very often in a general sense. It is really important to create space to do that. When we create space, other people see space that they, too, can take up, and they feel like they are freer to speak out when they see other people actually doing that thing [...] It really helps draw others out who might share the same marginalization or sexualization or racial issues,” she says.

Keep singing, Brandi, because we look forward to seeing you spend more time in the spotlight as you create space for women all over Fort Worth and beyond with your angelic voice.

[WORTH] S T A Y I N G

Fresh Airbnbs

Five of the swellest dwellings in North Texas

By Jennifer Casseday-Blair

Just because the virus continues to cast its dark shadow on plans to get away, it doesn’t mean you can’t still escape into another world — and without the jet lag. North Texas has never been more primed to host a staycation, and these five fanciful and sometimes fantastical properties offer accommodations within an hour’s driving distance of Fort Worth. These sought-after spots stay reserved throughout most of the year, so book soon.

Your Next Staycation

12

Whi m sic al Ro o st

H I G H L I G H T S : This lovely gem, affectionately named The

Cowboy Co m fo rt

H I G H L I G H T S : For an authentic cowboy experience, book a

Nest by its owners, was recently featured in Southern Living Glen Rose 2 GUESTS, 1 BEDROOM, 1 BED, 1 BATH and offers a grown-up treehouse as well as a bungalow with a $311 nightly rate boho vibe. Perched at the top of the Texas Hill Country, The Nest http://ow.ly/fsVz50FI269 offers spectacular views of the property’s 50 acres of private land. Guests can take a short stroll to the cold waters of Possum Hollow Creek or pop over to nearby Dinosaur Valley State Park, downtown Glen Rose and Fossil Rim.

Weatherford 2 GUESTS, 1 BEDROOM, 1 BATH $170 nightly rate http://ow.ly/jIYW50FI27p

1

stay at this renovated dairy barn set on a 100-acre cattle ranch.

Rustic comfort abounds with amenities like a hot tub, private pool, outdoor stone fireplace, and a spacious porch to sip whiskey and watch a Texas sunset. The ranch has two ponds, several hiking trails and abundant animal life, including free-range chickens and a retired rodeo horse named Shaggy.

2

La kehouse Luxur y

Lake Worth 16 GUESTS, 4 BEDROOMS, 5.5 BATHS $2,950 nightly rate http://ow.ly/DXwE50FI28a

3

H I G H L I G H T S : For a lavish lake vacation, look no further

than this 7,500-square-foot estate. Sitting on 5.5 acres with 350 feet of lake frontage and an ability to accommodate 16 guests, this Airbnb is ideal for a multifamily getaway. Small children and teens will never get bored, as this property features a basketball court, shuffleboard, game room, pool, hot tub and a brand-new 2,000-square-foot fishing dock.

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Downtown Fort Worth 4 GUESTS, 1 BEDROOM, 1 BATH $139 nightly rate http://ow.ly/Nbb450FI28U

4

H I G H L I G H T S : To fully enjoy all that city life has to

offer, this industrial luxury loft is located in the heart of Fort Worth, just one block from Sundance Square. Within walking distance of some of the nation’s finest steakhouses, this stylish loft with 20-foot ceilings and large windows, was recently renovated and is perfect for couples looking for a night on the town.

G i rl s G etaway

Graford (Possum Kingdom Lake) 14 GUESTS, 5 BEDROOMS, 5.5 BATHS $1,700 nightly rate http://ow.ly/rIQ450FI29r H I G H L I G H T S : Shhh … you’ll want to keep this place

a secret, especially if your objective is to escape and reboot.

Exemplifying serenity and seclusion, this Possum Kingdom retreat is only accessible by boat or water taxi and has all the comforts of a five-star resort. Comfortably sleeping 14 guests, it’s ideal for connecting with gal pals and relaxing in lake-front outdoor spaces.

5

OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02

Urb a n Oasis

[WORTH] M A K I N G

Holiday Gifts with Meaning

14

Holiday Gifts for Loved Ones

By Celestina Blok

S

pread holiday cheer with gifts that have meaning in more ways than one.

These local shops and studios offer classes for creating artisan goods, from candles and crystal necklaces to ceramics and glassware. Recipients will swoon over the love poured into each project, and local businesses benefit from the purchase. It’s a giving season win-win.

GOLD WIRE-WRAPPED CRYSTAL NECKLACES Creatively Beaut Goods Bronx native Cecilia Navarro opened her boho accessories boutique in March 2020 before being forced to shutter shortly thereafter, thanks to the pandemic. But thanks to support from loyal customers, Navarro was able to reopen four months later in a larger location in the River East District.

The new space was expansive enough to comfortably display not only her own handmade jewelry and products, but goods from her favorite local vendors. Popular items include vintage clothing, macramé earrings, and gold wire-wrapped crystal necklaces, the latter of which may be custom-made by customers in Navarro’s jewelry-making classes. Participants get to select their own crystal for a completely unique piece.

The class is $68 per person and runs about two hours, typically held in the evening.

2900 RACE ST., SUITE 164, FORT WORTH

682.707.9985 creativelybeautgoods.shop

CERAMICS 1725 SIXTH AVE., FORT WORTH

Kendall Davis Clay

214.395.1653

From sake sipping sets to her popular speckled coffee mugs, Kendall Davis’ clay creations are in high demand. At her Near Southside shop and studio, customers can create their own ceramic masterpieces under Davis’ expert guidance during her once-a-month workshops. The $65 class features a different theme each month, and beginners to experts are welcome. After students hone the technique, Davis will fire and glaze their ready-to-gift creations. Note that classes are BYOB and are typically held on a Sunday afternoon.

kendalldavisclay.com

15 OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02

HAND-POURED CANDLES The Worthy Co. Create a candle and help empower survivors of sex trafficking. This Near Southside nonprofit invests 100% of its profits into fulfilling its mission of employing trafficking victims, who may be recovering from trauma or struggling with addiction while looking to rebuild their lives. Survivors handcraft all jewelry and candles available for sale in Worthy Co.’s beautiful brickand-mortar boutique, located just off Magnolia Avenue. The space also features a candle studio, where custom candle-making classes are offered for small groups. The $45 class includes all tools needed plus private shopping time with a 20% discount. (Note that candles take a couple of days to set, so they’ll need to be picked up later or shipped for an additional $8.) Classes are BYOB (there’s a $5 outside beverage fee per party), and participants are also welcome to bring their own bites (don’t forget plates and napkins). Book a class time online or contact hello@worthy-co.com to ask about private parties.

1216 SOUTH LAKE ST., FORT WORTH

682.708.3414 worthy-co.com Left Page Photo: Photo Courtesy of TK Right Page Top Photo: Photo Courtesy of Kendall Davis Right Page Bottom Photo: Photo Courtesy of Worthy Co.

[WORTH] M A K I N G

PLANT TERRARIUMS Ephemera Terrariums!

Holiday Gifts with Meaning

16

A plant professional will provide step-by-step instruction for creating a colorful plant terrarium — no green thumb required. Once the plants are situated inside a vessel of choice, a decoration station featuring an array of colored rocks, fun figures, mosses and more allows for a completely customizable plant habitat. Classes are available seven days a week and max at four participants.

Walk-ins are welcome, but booking a timeslot in advance is recommended. Costs start at $15 for planters and $25 for terrariums. The Near Southside shop offers not only house plants, tropical plants, succulents and cacti, but also in a quirky twist — comic books. Nostalgia Trades is the name of the comic book branch of Ephemera Terrariums, which focuses on titles from local authors and designers.

1208 WEST MAGNOLIA AVE., #106, FORT WORTH

817.382.8238 ephemeraterrariums.com

GLASS ART SiNaCa Studios The longtime Near Southside glass gallery, located in a former gas station, offers several class options, from 20-minute workshops to full-on four-week programs studying the art of manipulating glass. On the first Saturday (1 to 5 p.m.) and last Friday (5 to 9 p.m.) of each month, SiNaCa hosts Walkup Workshops, where glasscrafting novices can create a custom item with a preset theme. The short workshops (less than an hour or so) take place in SiNaCa’s hot shop, flameworking studio, or kiln forming studio. The price is $50 per person, and while called a “Walkup Workshop,” reservations are requested in advance to allow for adequate social distancing.

Participants might walk away with a colorful spoon rest, glass flower, hummingbird feeder or a set of coasters.

More in-depth classes (which run from two to three hours in length) range from glass blowing and kiln forming to flameworking and even cold working.

Top Photo: Ephemera Terrariums Photo Bottom Photo: SiNaCa Studios Photo

1013 WEST MAGNOLIA AVE., FORT WORTH

817.899.0024 sinacastudios.org

Beautifully hand etched glasses!

MAKES A GREAT GIFT FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

J O I N U S F O R S M A L L B U S I N E S S S AT U R DAY AT T H E 107

NOVEMBER 27TH FROM 10-3!

817.705.3515 | 76107collective.com | 3930 West Vickery Blvd |

@amada.goods

[WORTH] T R Y I N G

Finding Therapy on Horseback

18

Taking the Reins With a stampede of adults seeking out new therapeutic hobbies, many rode the wave of a global pandemic on the back of a horse

By Jennifer Casseday-Blair and Jocelyn Tatum Illustration by Amber Davis

She got back into horseback riding

when her mother died in December 2020, shortly after the COVID-19 pandemic made the already shrinking four walls around her seem smaller. She rode when she was young several times a week, but a torn ACL and then college pulled her away. Like so many people battling the tidal waves of anxiety being thrown off by political unrest, social injustice and a smoldering pandemic, Cari Freehan needed to get back outside again, finding therapy on horseback again some 35 years later.

“As a child and preteen, riding and being close to horses gave me a place of acceptance and love that I didn’t often find amongst my peers. Now as an adult, I feel I am returning home. I started

riding again six months ago after losing my mother unexpectedly. I have rediscovered that love and acceptance, and something deeper,” she says.

Horses are mirrors. They show riders where they are in life in a way a therapist can’t — spiritually, physically and mentally. “They mimic you and what you feel. They mimic insecurities and fears,” she says. This gives Cari an awareness she’s never experienced anywhere else, and through that mirroring awareness, healing. The horse points to her wounds and then carries her in the most majestic and gentle way to the other side of that pain, she reflects.

Molly Thomson, owner of Benbrook Stables, says she saw a dramatic rise in the number of adults wanting to take riding lessons during the

Where to Saddle Up Benbrook Stables

$65 for 45-minute group lesson, $85 private lesson STYLES OFFERED:

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Silver Creek Ranch

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$45 for 45-minute lesson

Curragh Equestrian Center

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pandemic. “We heard stories about how they once rode as a kid and always wanted to get back into it … We also hear from our younger and older adults that taking riding lessons has helped with the depression associated with staying at home from work or school due to COVID-19. Other adults are just so happy to have found a new way to get outside and enjoy learning a new skill,” Molly says.

For Cari, the sensitivity of a horse creates a connection to a world that is deeply spiritual. “It has given me a way to heal and so much more,” Cari says.

$55 for one-hour group lesson, $65 for one-hour private lesson

OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02

Western, English, Bareback

Robbins Arena

Western, English

Dressage, English

Starline Stables

5595 Ben Day Murrin Road, Fort Worth 817.443.3777 curragh.com

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Fort Worth Stockyards Stables and Horseback Riding $45 for 30-minute trail ride, $75 for one-hour trail ride STYLES OFFERED:

Western 157 E. Exchange Ave., Fort Worth 817.239.8830 fortworthstockyardsstables.com

Freedom Equestrian Center STYLES OFFERED:

Dressage, Show Jumping, Western, Natural Horsemanship 1005 Hood Court, Granbury 817.403.6291 freedomequestriancenter.com

Little K Acres

Dressage, Hunter/Jumper 1212 Dove Hill Road, Justin 940.368.6698 starlinestables.com

Star T Ranch

$55 for one-hour lesson STYLES OFFERED:

Dressage, English, Western, Cross-Country 4225 Kelly Road, Aledo 817.247.9257 startranchtx.net

Trinity River Farm & Equestrian Center

$55 for one-hour semiprivate lesson, $70 for one-hour private lesson STYLES OFFERED:

Dressage, Hunter/Jumper, Eventing 8375 Randol Mill Road, Fort Worth 817.683.5610 trinityriverfarmtx.com

$60 private lesson, $40 semiprivate lesson (small group of 2 – 4 riders)

Triple Cross Ranch

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Western

Western 414 Cagle Crow, Mansfield 817.946.2180 littlekacres.com

$40 for one-hour lesson STYLES OFFERED:

5617 County Road 913, Godley 817.319.3915 3crossranch.com

[S U PP ORT] W I N T O N + W A I T S

A Cause-Driven Lifestyle Brand

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Impact Makers

Cause-driven lifestyle brand that does so much more than procure meaning ful products.

By Myriam Gonzalez Photos by Leslie Stickland

“Share the good, be the happy, change the world.”

That is the mission behind Winton and Waits, a local woman-owned and women-run boutique nestled in Fort Worth’s SoMa District. Founder and owner Jenna Lee has created a “causedriven lifestyle brand.” And it all started with a bead.

While volunteering with a nonprofit group overseas in 2014, her creative spark ignited when she came across a group of women who were making hand-beaded jewelry to sell in the U.S. Seeing the hardship these women faced and taking note of how they were able to take a simple bead and turn it into something beautiful inspired her. “Conceptually, that was kind of filling my soul at the time,” Jenna says.

Fast-forward four years, and she has a storefront filled with products that tell a story, products that weave the lives of artisans and consumers, and that are created and selected to go beyond their “shelf life.” As she thought about the direction her life had taken and the impact she sought to make, Jenna surrounded herself with a team of women equally as passionate and ready to fortify her vision.

“I’ve been really lucky to develop partnerships along the way that have been supportive and helpful. I feel like we’re a small and mighty team but doing these really big, impactful things,” Jenna says. Part of her team consists of women like retail lead Camille Dickson, who says working there is a collaborative environment that “feels like family.” Or as Jenna says, “a really sweet partnership that gave us the basis for this lifestyle of feeling connected to another person.”

- OWNER JENNA LEE

At Winton and Waits, shoppers will find everything from its house-made bath products to candles and hand-beaded jewelry they can make during one of its “Make and Take Classes.”

Once a month, patrons can purchase a $40 – $60 ticket online and select from one of its classes, such as Make Your Own Bead Bar, Sugar Scrub Bar or Earring Bar. Although the lifestyle brand has expanded to offer home interior design services and hotel bookings at its new Winton and Waits Style Studio, a resort-style rental property, it all circles back to one thing — the product.

“We want the impact and the story behind our product to connect with the consumer so that all of our stores are intertwined,” Jenna says.

“Beautiful things can happen in our lives, even if our lives are not what we expected.”

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“Beautiful things can happen in our lives, even if our lives are not what we expected.”

[S U PP ORT] A R T R O O M

Make a Little Room for the Art Room

How an art gallery-turned-nonprofit is enriching the Fort Worth arts community.

Photos and story by Myriam Gonzalez

Serving The Community Through Art

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Art Room now hosts no-cost “virtual classes,” along with curated exhibitions during its collective residency stay at the Fort Worth Community Arts Center, which Deedra says is most rewarding. “It makes my heart so full to interact with the artists and see their work come to life in a show like this.”

Throughout its residency, Art Room plans on curating another three to four exhibitions in hopes of garnering support for artists such as Ross Graphix, who says they have “given local artists a place in the art community by allowing them to be a part of an exhibit.”

While the goal is to once again be “hands on” in the community and be around the “energy of like-minded people in a room, studying and analyzing art,” as Kate says, there are plans to sustain the program until then. This fall, Art Room will provide a “Make Room for Art” grant to a local educator as well as create “Make and Take” art kits at no cost to the community, continuing its mission to highlight the importance of arts education. “The arts are a fundamentally important part of culture, and an education without them is an impoverished education, leading to an impoverished society,” she says.

OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02

What began as a brick-and-mortar gallery used to showcase new and emerging artists quickly evolved into Art Room, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that educates and inspires both youth and adults. Now, a local group is “making room for art” through its support of arts education and enrichment programs in the Fort Worth community.

Co-founder and chief adviser, Kate Murray and Nathan Madrid, noticed a lack of nontraditional galleries that could give talented new artists the opportunity to showcase their work. During the early phases of its initiative, M2G Ventures granted a free space near the Foundry District that would allow its vision to bloom. “We were looking to grant these artists exposure and provide accessible art to the Fort Worth community simultaneously,” Kate says.

With the success of its new pop-up gallery and a desire to make a greater impact, Art Room officially transitioned into a nonprofit fall 2018.

“We slowly chipped away at our massive iceberg until we figured out what was most important and focused on that — community outreach, classes and workshops, and exhibitions,” Kate says.

While they were successful with their community outreach programs and partnership with Fort Worth ISD schools during this time, last year’s COVID-19 pandemic forced them to shift their gears and refocus on how they can continue serving the community. With lack of funding coming in from their workshops and classes, executive director Deedra Baker says they had to “think outside the box” to continue their mission.

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A Place to Be Heard

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READER’S REVEAL

is a section within our magazine dedicated to our readers.

For each issue we want you to voice your opinions and share your thoughts with us.

SCAN THE QR CODE to answer our issue 03 question.

ONETOKNOWMAGAZINE.COM @onetoknowmagazine.com

25 OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02

A place to be heard

[C RA F T] C H A L K A R T I S T

The Writing Is on the Wall Diamonds Are Forever

By Jocelyn Tatum

Women of Fort Worth Who Inspire

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Jan Riggins specializes in chalking still life with a story behind it, so to bring our cover woman’s story to life through art, she had the idea to focus on how diamonds are made — heat, pressure and time. A student at the school posed for Jan holding the diamond. Jan liked the nails because they are feminine yet powerful. She loved how gracefully and delicately those powerful nails held the diamond in the shot. She then chose words found in Tamara Albury’s profile written by Jade Emerson and wrote a few onto the wall behind the hand. She left room for students to write words of women empowerment meant to them when they returned to campus the following week.

Tamara drove past the mural several times as it was coalescing into her story as a leader on that hot early fall afternoon. She got chills.

“There was so much symbolism in the picture. All of those words are crucial in the realized potential of our Gems,” she says. Because it is her tireless goal to ensure the young women who graduate realize their potential to be a source of light in a sometimes dim world.

JAN

riggins

www.janrigginscustomart.com

As diamonds are not formed overnight, neither is the brilliance of our Gems.

However, whenever they shine, they don’t have to tell the world their value; they just shine, and the world knows.

- YWLA principal Tamara Albury

SCAN THE QR CODE to WATCH this beautiful mural come together.

27 OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02

Chalk, schools and principals all seemed to go together perfectly for this project, although that wasn’t entirely our initial plan. And through that same kismet that seems to propel this magazine forward, Jan materialized just when we needed her — she was just the woman for the project.

She wasn’t always a chalk artist nor did she have the time to practice art very much before the pandemic. Jan started her artistic career with colored pencils, then moved to watercolors and pastels, but Jan started chalking when she heard about a chalk art festival on Fort Worth’s Crockett Row where three chalk art professionals taught amateur artists in chalking. Jan was all in.

She picked it up quickly and soon became one of the professionals, attending festivals often. But the pandemic canceled all of those events that brought her so much joy.

She started coloring on her driveway.

“So, before COVID-19 I had chalked maybe a total of seven times, and then COVID-19 hit and it was just stressful,” she says. She was working from home part of the time and going into work some of the time. Chalking became a way to decompress, and soon, a way to give back to others. New patterns were taking shape in her life and on the concrete she brought to life. “I think I chalked three times a week.”

One little boy on her street had a birthday in quarantine, so Jan came to the rescue, bringing his family’s driveway to life. Her 14-year-old daughter would soon join her on this creative quest. The duo brought beauty through this artform to the whole community, and soon news organizations started to pick up her acts of service. This landed her on the Kelly Clarkson show, and by the end of that year, Jan had completed 80 pieces of chalk art.

Chalk washes away, so her murals are temporary.

But for Jan, it’s all about the process. Like the process of how diamonds are made — sure the stone is pretty to look at, and diamonds last forever, but beauty fades. The process of how one became a diamond is where the beauty of humanity lies.

“As diamonds are not formed overnight, neither is the brilliance of our Gems,” Tamara says.

“However, whenever they shine, they don’t have to tell the world their value; they just shine, and the world knows.”

Each issue we ask a local artist to design our cover, and we write about what inspired her design here in the Craft section of OTK Magazine. If you are interested in designing one of our covers, email art@onetoknowmagazine.com.

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Her Journey to Now

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By Jade Emerson

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29 OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02 Photo by Amber Shumake

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walls of her office at the Young Women’s Leadership Academy are filled with thank you notes and graduation announcements from former students. Beside her desk in the far corner of her office are two glass vases, one filled with coal and the other with a collection of gems, pearls and diamonds. YWLA principal Tamara Albury often shows her students these vases when they visit her office.

“Life through heat, time and pressure is going to make you even more valuable than you are,” she says. In the change from one vase to the other, she shows her students the beauty of transformation: What first seems like an end is only a new beginning.

Throughout her childhood in Upstate New York, Tamara didn’t want to miss out. She tried everything from Girl Scouts to tennis to horseback riding. Every summer, she would beg her mother to let her stay longer at her overnight camp because she fell in love with the independence, nature, community and environment. But that changed when Tamara was in eighth grade — her math teacher told her that she shouldn’t switch to a higher-level math class because she wouldn’t be able to handle it. The feeling of hearing an adult tell her that she wasn’t enough stuck with her. She was determined to prove her wrong. “My best motivator is someone telling me what I can’t do,” she says.

Tamara would later attend Union College where she majored in sociology and Africana studies with a minor in Russian language. Even though Tamara didn’t share the same background of the students at her college, her myriad of experiences growing up equipped her to hold a conversation — and her own — with anyone she met. During her freshman year, Tamara remembered hearing about the study abroad program from the upperclassmen on campus. Having gone to college a mere 5 miles from her grade school, she had a hunger to see and experience the world. So, she set out, taking two terms abroad focused on the oppression of women around the world. Hearing the stories of these women in their own words became one of the most defining moments of her life. She vividly remembers their stories: a Rwandan refugee rebuilding life in East Africa who was unable to afford an education, and Brazilian factory workers forced into sterilization to keep their jobs. “That built within me this desire to end oppression as a whole. I already had this foundation of ‘I want to exact change,’” Tamara says.

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Her Journey to Now

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Tamara began to apply her skill set in her new environments. Her knowledge from the camps she attended as a girl helped her navigate her time in Kenya where she was without running water, electricity or plumbing. Applying her studies in sociology, Tamara learned to view each of the issues simultaneously in terms of the individual parts and bigger picture — a skill she would continue to use and develop throughout her career.

After graduating with her bachelor’s degree, Tamara felt in limbo. She was working at her former high school when she found a program through Mississippi Teacher Corps that led her to the Mississippi Delta. Coming from the Northeast to the Deep South, Tamara was tossed into a completely different culture. For the first time in her life, she had to get a driver’s license and a car. On a corner in Oxford, Mississippi, she was taken back by someone waving at her at a stop sign — something that never happened in New York. But her love of exploring new cultures and meeting new people meant that these challenges were ways for her to continue to build her capacity.

Above Right: “With Sister Cities I visited Swaziland. We painted a peace mural on the wall of a local community center. As we painted, the children played and watched.”

Above: “In college I spent a semester in Brazil, studying women and oppression. This was the first stop on our study tour, the Amazon Rainforest.”

Photos Courtesy of Tamara Albury

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She began to teach in one of the poorest counties of the country while attending the University of Mississippi for her master’s degree. The area, still very segregated at the time, was only one generation off of sharecropping and in a teacher shortage. It was in Tunica, Mississippi, that Tamara began a path she never saw for herself: a career in education. She was 22, straight out of college, and had never taught before. She started to teach.

Her classroom soon became the catalyst for the change Tamara was determined to make. Her passion propelled her further in her career, and after a friend told her about Fort Worth, further west. “I had never heard of Fort Worth because I was from Upstate New York. I said, ‘OK!’ because I was in my 20s, and in your 20s you just feel invincible,” Tamara says. After her time in Mississippi, Tamara discovered that if kids were at the heart of her decision, then everything would be OK. Tamara started teaching middle school in Fort Worth 15 years ago, and she has since worked in all areas of town as it relates to education. She used her experience as a social constructivist both

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in and out of the classroom to develop content, write curriculum, and build programs that not only help students get into college, but also let them be successful once they are there. And now, as the YWLA principal, Tamara feels she has had the opportunity to impact student lives, young women, and herself in ways she never had a chance to be growing up in public schools. By taking inventory of her own experiences as a woman and a woman of color, she transforms her challenges into lessons for her students. “[I can] see the social issues that my kids are dealing with and stand in that gap to give them the tools so that they are able to take those seats at the table — and keep them,” she says.

Tamara’s canvas is a red brick schoolhouse in downtown Fort Worth — it is FWISD’s first and only all-girls school. Tamara recognizes how a conventional classroom setting can subconsciously extinguish the passion in young women when boys are called on more than girls, girls who speak out are labeled as bossy, or girls are pinned against one another. “Here, we’re about sisterhood, we’re about empowerment, we’re about being kind. In a world that really is not set up for girls to be successful, we create a bubble where they are,” she says.

The academy is a school where diversity and womanhood flourish alongside academic success.

Every student, parent, teacher and visitor who walks through the door feels as if they belong, as if this is a place where they will become the best version of themselves. And Tamara says she achieves this by trying to be the woman she wants her girls to be.

“The most surprising thing about Ms. Albury is her ability to rise to the occasion,” says Gaynell Bellizan, a YWLA Career Technical Education teacher who was blown away when Albury read her speech on college Signing Day in both English and Spanish fluently. “YWLA is 60% Hispanic. She wanted to speak to all of the parents of her seniors.”

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Above Top: This is four generations of her lineage (from left to right) her great grandmother, her mother, her grandmother and Tamara. She always thought she was just a tall little girl until she realized they were all just barely 5 feet.

Above Bottom: Paddington was Tamara’s favorite stuffed toy and show to watch.

Photos Courtesy of Tamara Albury

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The students at the YWLA see a part of themselves in their principal, and Tamara feels blessed that her experiences run the gamut so that she can identify with all of her students. “I was raised by a single mother. For some of my students, that’s their reality. Both of my parents are college educated. For some of my students, that’s their reality. My dad was an immigrant. For some of my students, that’s their reality. I grew up in inner-city America. For some of my students, that’s their reality,” she says.

It is these different experiences she has had as a student, a woman, a daughter, a person of color and a social advocate that allow her to step into her students’ shoes and walk alongside them. “My kids come from everywhere,” she says. “I truly feel that your ZIP code does not define who you are; it just defines your starting point.”

Through her career, Tamara has challenged the notion that numbers are the only indicator of success. In order to create leaders equipped to face any issue that arises, she provides a holistic education for her students where social and emotional growth are just as important as test scores.

“She is always asking, ‘What do you want to do; what’s your passion?’ Not only does she encourage you to pursue your dreams, she will also support you in that effort. In my view, that is a true leader,” says Bellizan.

When Tamara was a girl, her mother fell ill and had to leave her job at the Department of Education. Though she was no longer able to work, she still ensured that Tamara would have every opportunity at her fingertips, giving her touchstone experiences she could carry for the rest of her life.

Now, Tamara works to do the same for her students by being the mom she had. “That’s what I feel like drives me so much, because they deserve those opportunities. And if I don’t do it, if I don’t fight, then they won’t have that,” Tamara says.

Each of the young women at the academy leaves with an education in life so that they, like her, will be able to hold their own in whatever school, job or circumstance they find themselves in. Tamara works so that her kids can go to camp. They can see plays. They can have experiences in life that work to lessen the effects of the imposter syndrome by teaching them how to handle new challenges and atmospheres. Once, while attending an etiquette class with her students, one young woman confided in Tamara that she felt like she didn’t belong in that environment.

“Wherever you are is wherever you should be and wherever you belong. I don’t ever want any of my kids to ever feel like ‘I don’t belong here.’ You’re in the space. You belong here. You’re meant to be here. Own it. Embrace it,” she says.

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35 OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02 Photo by Amber Shumake

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Tamara doesn’t just teach her students what to do when things go right. Instead, she challenges them to find grit and determination when things go wrong.

While working as an assistant principal, she required each student who was being suspended to request information from a college before leaving. “You truly define where you can go in life. Don’t allow one ‘no’ to impact your life to such a degree that you’re not able to truly flourish and realize your potential,” she says.

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During the pandemic, Tamara was thrust into a world of unknowns. One of her teachers expressed that her sixth graders’ biggest complaint was that they didn’t get to see or know their principal. Tamara met with her secretary to place her students on her calendar. Every two weeks, she would clear her schedule to have a Zoom call just for her sixth graders. She would listen as they talked, sharing their suggestions or disappointments. She made the young women under her leadership feel both seen and heard.

“Ms. Albury has been an extraordinary example for my daughter, her class and all of the girls at YWLA,” says Carrie Naylor McPadden, a mother to an incoming YWLA seventh-grader. “By her example, I am constantly reminded of what it means to be a good person, a good leader, and a good example, even when things do not go your way, especially when things do not go your way.”

In the current state of education, young women face insurmountable pressure to succeed at all costs, leading to the adverse effects that come with perfectionism, internalizing criticism, and an inability to face failure. “A lot of times as women we are so hard on ourselves and not in a good way. We need to look at all of our flaws and bumps and bruises not as things to take away our value but to improve our value and what we can offer somebody else,” Tamara says.

Under Tamara’s leadership, the young women learn to hold their heads up instead of down. They learn to stand tall instead of making themselves small. They learn to use their voice instead of being silenced. “If we are going to be a leadership academy, we have to teach them attributes of great leaders,” she says.

“There are so many injustices that I hope my kids address. That’s what we want for them, to bump the system within reason. There are so many women who

Above Top: “I celebrated my birthday in NYC at Christmastime. Breakfast at Tiffany’s, in the crowd at the “Today Show” and Rockefellar Center. My dad drove me to the “Today Show” at 4:00 in the morning and waited, just so I could be there.”

Above Bottom Left: Tamara’s dad loved to take pictures, and this was an original timed selfie, “I remember that it took several takes and that I kept dancing... that is why he is holding my hand.”

Above Bottom Right: “The day Madam Speaker greeted me as Madam Principal, totally changed my life. A 70-year-old woman in 3 inch heels, who exuded confidence and grace.”

Photos Courtesy of Tamara Albury

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are afraid to bump the system.” Tamara empowers her students to fight the voice that screams, ‘You aren’t enough, you don’t belong, you can’t handle this’ by giving them opportunities which prove the opposite. Girls are encouraged, perhaps for the first time, to take risks, to abandon perfection, and adopt a mindset of growth where the only one who can determine who they can become is themselves.

If change begins with one person, Tamara Albury is that person. When you see her school, you see her.

“You have to be able to see who you can grow up to be. It doesn’t seem as unobtainable if you can reach out and touch that person. In a lot of situations where there are potentially not great examples of success, [young women] need examples of success to believe in themselves, to believe that they too can be that example for somebody else,” she says.

Tamara can rock a pair of cow print heels. She has a laugh as infectious as her smile. And her ability to make others laugh is golden. She knows each of her students by name. She turns noes into not yets. She rises to the challenge. She fights for her kids. Always.

So, what’s next for her?

“I don’t know! And I say that because I never wanted to be a teacher. I never initially wanted to be a principal,” Tamara says. “But I think that wherever it is, in order for me to be truly happy, it will have to be somewhere where I’m really impacting and making lives better.

Whatever that looks like, that’s where I’ll be.”

Life is not in the being, but in the becoming. It is not what Tamara and her students were, but rather what they will be. It is not what they have done, but what they will continue to do. Tamara Albury is an impactor, a rule breaker, a change-maker. When it comes to providing the best education for the young women she leads, she would rather ask forgiveness than permission.

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H Hernandez AILEY Her resilience to push forward in the face of adversity separates her from other athletes her age, making her one to watch in the coming years.

By Jill Bold

She qualified to be the youngest member of the women’s USA Diving Team at the Olympic Trials at 18 years old, which was only Hailey Hernandez’s first step to achieving her Olympic dreams. In Tokyo, she took her place among the other top world athletes and stood in awe of the size of the stadium and marveled at the vastness of the spectators’ seating as she imagined how it might feel with a cheering audience.

Hailey’s older brother, Nicholas, inspired her love of diving, and she followed in his footsteps when she began training at 7. She trained with coach Jeff Bro and the GC Divers club in her years leading up to the Olympics. From 2017 to 2019, she accumulated numerous gold and silver medals at the Junior Pan American Championships, the World Junior Championships, Senior National Championships and the World Cup. The Tokyo Olympic Games was the first competition coming out of the pandemic’s lockdown for Hailey. She had already adjusted to training via Zoom, diving and working out from her family’s home in Southlake with a regular residential pool and small diving board, which had its limitations as they do not have a training pool with a high-dive platform in their backyard. Despite the drastic change in training modes, she said the pandemic afforded her time to slow down and resolve some of the mental blocks that came along with learning higher-difficulty dives.

Hailey Hernandez poses after her Olympic trials in June 2021 in Indianapolis. Images provided

by USA Diving Director of Marketing and Communications Kelly Fox.

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You could just imagine the thousands of seats and people filling that stadium.But it was just silent.

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On her journey to the top, Hailey battled selfdoubt and burnout. She reached a point in her career a few years ago where transitioning to the next level meant pushing for harder dives and a higher level of commitment to training — mental blocks. She grappled with the idea of quitting, but when she revealed her concerns to her coach and team, they expressed a belief in her abilities that she didn’t see in herself at that time. “They saw so much potential in me; more than I saw in myself,” she says.

Her coach’s and teammates’ words melted away the doubts that plagued her, and she committed to learning harder dives and rising to the next level.

She resolved to push through her self-limiting fear and paralyzing perfectionism.

Hailey’s goal going into the Olympics was to avoid pressuring herself to win a medal. Instead, she went into competition with the intention of putting forth her best effort and celebrating her results, whatever they may be. In her Olympic diving debut, she nabbed a ninth-place finish. Pleased with her results, she knew she had accomplished a major feat. “This is just the beginning for me, really, for my career,” she says. “I’m just hoping I continue to grow and just see what I can do in this sport over the next, you know, many years.”

She reveled in the novelty of the Olympic Village.

One day she was watching one of the swimming competitions in the athletes’ lounge when she glanced sideways to see champion swimmer Katie Ledecky seated right beside her. “Oh my gosh, I’m sitting next to Katie Ledecky!” Hernandez exclaims, recalling her own internal screaming at meeting the Olympic legend.

Bottom: Hailey Hernandez waits by the pool with brother Nathaniel Hernandez behind her at the Minnesota Aquatic Center for Nationals in 2013.

Photo by Teresa Hernandez

W A T C H ]

Hailey’s Olympic journey was unreal for her — an experience of a lifetime. And while she quickly ascended to the top tiers of diving in international competition, she’s transitioned to a life that many 18-year-olds choose: college life. She’s attending the University of Texas at Austin on a diving scholarship as she continues to train for the Paris 2024 Olympics. She looks forward to being able to utilize the university’s resources and training facilities to give her the best chance to prepare for future competitions.

When Hailey’s father, Richard Hernandez, speaks about his daughter, it is with praise and admiration of her growth as an athlete, but more so as a young woman. His voice trembles and his eyes water as he applauds her for finding her own voice through her experience as an Olympian.

SCAN THE QR CODE to WATCH an interview with Hailey Hernandez.

[ O N E

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Richard acknowledges what a sacrifice Hailey’s mother, Teresa Hernandez, made for Hailey and her entire family. She took on the majority of the responsibility of caring for the family, as Richard traveled several days a week, every week, as an airline pilot. “She was basically a single mom,” he says through tears.

Giggling nervously, Hailey turns toward her dad and says, “You’re gonna make me cry.”

When she walked into the Tokyo Olympic Games’ opening ceremonies and gazed up into the relatively empty stands, she instantly felt the impact of the crowd’s absence but felt that love and support from her teammates and from all the way back at home.

“You could just imagine the thousands of seats and people filling that stadium,” she said. “But it was just silent.” Either way, she felt honored and thrilled to be a part of the Olympic tradition as an athlete.

Top Left: Hailey Hernandez celebrates the opening ceremonies at the Tokyo Olympics in July 2021. Photo by Brandon Loschiavo Above: Hailey Hernandez poses inside the Olympic Rings at Olympic Village in Tokyo, Japan in July 2021. Photo by Tyler Downs Left: Hailey Hernandez prepares to dive at the Tokyo Aquatic Center in July 2021. Photo by Vernon Bryant, Dallas Morning News

[ P R O F I L E ]

As the Crowe Flies: A Runner’s Profile

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PROFILE OF A RUNNER Local business owner and ultrarunner Kari Crowe uses extreme competition as a way to maintain mental and physical strength and raise awareness about the lack of personal freedoms among women in conflict-affected regions

By Jennifer Casseday-Blair Photos courtesy of Kari Crowe

[ P R O F I L E ]

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There was a moment in her last race in Ouray when she was on her knees, gripping the side of the mountain retching. But extreme highs and lows are part of it for local entrepreneur and ultramarathon runner Kari Crowe.

“You’ll leave every piece of energy you have out on the trail. It will strip you down to your raw self and allow you to realize what you treasure and are grateful for, and you begin to acknowledge beauty in the small things,” Kari says.

Desiring to get back into shape in 2018, Kari registered for a marathon, unaware of what powerful path she was about to embark upon.

As she began rigorously training, she discovered the local trail-running community. “I fell in love with running on trails and being in nature,” she says. Before long, Kari was training for her first 100K (62 miles), and at the same time she threw her hat in the ring for The Race Across the Sky lottery. This 100-mile ultramarathon held annually near Leadville, Colorado, cuts through the heart of the Rocky Mountains and climbs and descends 15,600 feet, with elevations ranging from 9,200 to 12,620 feet. To Kari’s surprise, her name was selected. “My 62-mile race suddenly became a training run for the 100-mile race,” she says. “I barely finished the Leadville race within the time limit. It pushed me beyond my limits and nearly beat me into submission.”

[ P R O F I L E ]

A Runner’s Profile

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Like Kari, many endurance runners find that a marathon’s 26.2 miles just aren’t enough. While much of society is becoming more sedentary and automated, more and more athletes are being drawn to the world of ultrarunning. For those with the physical means and a yearning to connect with their primal selves, racing hundreds of miles on rugged trails through mountains, forests, deserts and alongside rivers can be a prescription for healing, clarity or self-resolve. “The beauty of nature and extraordinary physical exertion takes you into the present moment and allows everything to come into sharp focus,” Kari says.

The euphoria of running, also known as “runner’s high,” has been proven to help relieve stress and alleviate depression. According to Medical News Today, studies have shown that exercise’s ability to elevate mood can be attributed to the release of endorphins.

“I absolutely experience the chemical benefits from running. I like to say it’s my therapy. When you spend that much time alone, inside your brain, there is an advantage of working through any issues I’m having and letting go of some things. It mentally makes me a better partner and leader,” Kari says.

As successful owner of Melt Ice Creams, Kari has been slinging scoops since 2014. With her unique flavors and passion for bringing joy to people’s lives, she and her husband, Mark, have opened a location in Dallas, a second location in Fort Worth, and an ice-cream cart in Sundance Plaza. In addition to helping ice-cream shop patrons keep cool this summer, Kari ensured the scorching Texas heat didn’t get the best of her while training. She wears an iced bandana and hits the trail before sunrise, and sometimes she starts in the middle of the night to suppress the sunlight. But about two weeks before a race, she runs in the heat of the day to put stress on her body to replicate the stress altitude puts on her. She does much of her training with a running group at Marion Sansom Park, which is a 9-mile loop that winds through a wooded area with scenic vistas overlooking Lake Worth. “It’s the only place locally that replicates the technical terrain of Colorado,” she says.

Crowe recently became an ambassador for Free to Run, a nonprofit dedicated to enabling women and girls to safely engage in outdoor activity in conflict-affected regions such as Hong Kong, South Sudan and Iraq. Through a combination of sports programs, life skills development, and community outreach, it helps females to reclaim public space and change views about the roles they can (and should) play in society. Kari says, “I cannot imagine feeling endangered because I’m a woman while lacing up to walk out my door for this simple freedom I have here in the U.S. of moving my feet.”

Photo Left: Ultrarunner Kari Crowe says the beauty of nature and extraordinary physical exertion act as her therapy and take her into the present moment and allow everything to come into sharp focus.

Photo Right: Kari Crowe completed an ultrarun in the Grand Canyon in September in just under 15 hours.

[ P R O F I L E ]

TRAIL MIX:

HIGH-OCTANE FUEL: Crowe’s pre-run meal includes whole grains and lean meats.

During a run, Crowe takes in 200 calories an hour. Some of her favorite snacks include plantain chips and GU energy packs, which is a sports nutrition gel. Crowe says, “After a run, I’m always craving the same thing — a giant cheeseburger.”

GEARED UP:

“One of the things I love about this sport is how low maintenance it is as far as the gear you need. It’s easy for me to just fly out the door,” Crowe says. For a race, she wears specialized trail shoes and a hydration vest. She also always wears her “party hat,” representing the Birthday Party Project, an organization Crowe is involved with that provides birthday celebrations for children living in homeless shelters. Her running kit includes some form of nutrition, electrolytes, a safety bag and for some races, a GPS tracker so if she gets injured or falls off a cliff, race officials would be able to locate her. For more treacherous mountain trails, Crowe will also utilize trekking poles.

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Crowe listens to a mix of music, podcasts and audiobooks. Many of her friends who support and cheer her on during her ultraruns make surprise playlists to motivate her during her race. Three of her favorites on her current mix are “Run Wild”

by Laney Jones; “I Need Never Get Old” by Nathaniel Rateliff; and “As We Ran” by The National Parks.

[ S H O R T

S T O R Y ]

Poetry

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Painting with the Dark

By Gayle Reaves Illustration by Amber Davis

For a week now, when I go out early, I find the moon has been painting on my driveway. Delicate patterns filtered through 238,900 miles and my oak canopy. The dogs, connoisseurs of scent, give not a kibble bit for art, but even they might see Mars, a rusty disc this season. Venus, reliable lantern; the Hunter striding over my rooftop, Sirius at heel. Any neighbor watching at dawn will find me stranger than usual, standing barefoot on grass, head thrown back. At least I do not howl, though I have been known to chuckle. I love the balance between cosmos and earthbound boulders – house, garage, shed – that block swaths of sky but reveal the vastness above. Subtle symphony of trains and distant highway rumble reaches me, low hoots and whistles of birds. And I think

[ S H O R T

S T O R Y ]

47

I have put out the garbage.

I come inside to wash my hands, flip switches, wiping off light so I can see the dark, the secret lines of my neighbor’s floodlamps slipping through my blinds. Sluicing away freeway noise, I hear faint roosters and the traveling leaf-shake of a breeze. I cannot wipe off time, for its power absorbs me as I absorb it, like moon and tides. But I get back between pale sheets, re-enter my rushing dreams for whatever remains, hoping to find your warmth, your currents still hurtling alongside me.

OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02

that one day soon – in a century or so – the big post oak leaning over my house will fall, probably hitting the water heater in the attic. Likely no one will notice or care, no TV signal lost. Wisteria long ago will have opened the cabinets, partied with the wineglasses. Since surely by then the Gulf Stream, mighty bloodstream of our part of the planet, will have lurched, weakened by ice melt and smokestacks, and we humans will have roasted or frozen. It will all be the same to Cassiopeia in her chair, whether shells and fossils still fill my windowsill, and where my own bones are. For now,

[ S H O R T

Poetry

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S T O R Y ]

[ S H O R T

S T O R Y ]

By Gayle Reaves Illustration by Amber Davis

Is it winter on your side of town?

Has the sea risen? Due perhaps to shifting lunar orbits or suitcases packing and unpacking in unison. Denial and acceptance move up and down my thighs like tides, and I learn a different breathing. My eyestalks grow longer but see less. Lips of shell open and close with cloudy currents, straining nourishment from the passing parade. I have begun to layer you with shiny excrescence, so as not to feel the small jabs. They cannot make me bleed. They cannot enter the tender parts.

They increase my worth. I am full of pearls. I will put them on a watch to sell on eBay.

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Oyster Farming

Deep in this heart of Texas, Big hearts fetch bigger blues.

The in-laws become outlaws When stars wear walking shoes.

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When I think about the good times, The sheets left in a heap of tangle, I wrangle my familiars together To find a new jingle for my jangle.

Seedy words are like homespun weeds Choking the bloomed flower at the root.

The action of deeds are not in the attire Fiber acts fashioned with ropes of jute.

Another lover under the cover One that wears various suits.

Do those tweeds meet shallow needs I couldn’t with threadbare boots?

They say everything is bigger here.

Well, that seems to be my fate!

I am a lone, and they, a comet Soaring the spangled sky so great.

The laugh lines turn into fault lines Which cause this heart to break.

Were the veins of calamity mine — That one and final mistake?

Poetry

[ S H O R T S T O R Y ]

Illustrations and Poem by Wynn Amargein Ellis

Big Blues in Cowtown

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It’s just soles of feet and the soul of paws Walking down forks in the winding road.

These big blues have bigger hearts now Than the hearts we used to know.

When daylight breaks with the start New hope fills the cracks to repair It’s the blues that made room in this heart Delivering life with more love to share.

Big blues, big brawn and bigger buns Romping to heights of victory that night, Words that were said, words never spoken — Don’t remember what caused the fight.

Don’t pity their departing, Don’t cry me a Rio Grande — Have my trinity of dog, friends and music, For tonight, I’m with the band!

A good ol’ country two-step tonic A bottle of whiskey, a shot of the goose It doesn’t matter which kind of spirit When a broken heart is on the loose.

[ S H O R T S T O R Y ]

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[L I F E] A T H O M E

Home Design Tips on a Budget

By Celestina Blok

Illustrations by Amber Davis

Cutting Corners with Kylie Broton

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F

ort Worth-transplant Kylie Broton — an electrical engineer by trade-turned interior designer — knows how to cut corners when it comes to achieving the look of highend home design. When she offered her design skills gratis last year during the pandemic shutdown to help build her portfolio, folks jumped on the opportunity. Now she’s in high demand for her on-trend yet cost-cutting design eye. Here are her most important tips for making a home beautiful without wiping out the bank account.

First and foremost, get rid of the clutter.

For Kylie, more is not more.

“Some people think the more stuff, the better — not necessarily,” says the 28-year-old Indiana native. “You don’t have to be minimalistic, but you don’t need a lot to make a room feel homey.”

Add textures with blankets or pillows, she recommends, and lose the trinket collection.

“I love trinkets,” she says. “But you don’t need 50 trinkets in a room.”

Look for a theme.

Whether inspired by a particular piece of furniture or an overall setting, Kylie suggests finding the space’s vibe and sticking with it. Her favorite style right now?

“Modern minimalistic and very Italian — like an Italian villa,” she says.

Don’t forget functionality.

One of the biggest mistakes Kylie sees in home decor is the lack of functionality in a space, she says.

“People don’t use their space to help them,” she says. “Shelves and storage spaces can provide functionality but also still look great.”

Use Facebook Marketplace.

There’s no shame in Kylie’s game. The social media site’s buy-and-sell page allows users to filter items by location, category and price, resulting in countless new and used finds located near and far — and it’s one of Kylie’s favorite tools for décor shopping.

“You can literally find anything in any style on Facebook Marketplace,” she says. “It’s great if you just want to replace one item — like a shelf or piece of furniture.”

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[L I F E] A T H O M E

Price check before buying.

Cutting Corners with Kylie Broton

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This might sound obvious, but according to Kylie, many folks overlook this important step before purchasing a piece of furniture or appliance.

“Google the item name,” she says. “There’s going to be five or six retailers that sell the same product or at least something similar. You could save hundreds or even thousands by doing a little price research first.”

As for the kitchen, think beyond cooking.

One of the most popular home design trends right now, Kylie says, is kitchens that don’t look like kitchens.

“They look more like entertainment areas — and the kitchen truly is for entertainment,” she says.

Consider cabinets and appliances that seamlessly fit into walls and giant islands that might serve as an open bar.

“We don’t use kitchens like we used to,” Kylie says.

Also trending are “dark, moody” kitchens, she adds, noting that she’s seeing more completely black kitchens with maybe stark contrasts of white, further playing into the after-hours dinner party theme.

INSTAGRAM: @kyliecodesign

kyliecodesign.com

At the very least, update the rug.

“Add a rug or get a fresh one once a year,” she says, noting that it’s the quickest way to update a room on the spot.

“You can find cheap ones on rugsusa.com, Home Depot, Wayfair and overstock.com,” she says.

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[L I F E] P R O F E S S I O N A L

Work Too Much?

Blame the Pilgrims How Christmas-banning zealots from 400 years ago are burning you out.

Photos and Story by Shilo Urban

Work - Work - Work

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The U.S. is notorious for mastering the art of busyness and feeling guilty when relaxing. We simultaneously scoff at and envy the one-month-long holiday Europeans enjoy in August. Well, you can thank our Puritan forebears, at least for part of it. It’s estimated that 35 million Americans today are descendants of the Mayflower’s 102 passengers. But we are all heirs to their ethos of incessant striving, which continues to shape America’s work-work-work culture.

Regarded by many as strict, stodgy, fun-hating grumps—the Puritans are profoundly untrendy. A recent trip to Barnes & Noble revealed zero books on the Pilgrims in the entire store. These radical English Calvinists have long hogged the spotlight in our country’s founding myth, their flaws overlooked, their big black hats obscuring the central contributions of Native Americans, African slaves, and the Spanish (to name a few). They have a complex and checkered legacy; they were humans, after all. Separation of church and state? That’s the Pilgrims. Janet Jackson’s nipplegate pandemonium? You guessed it. But love them or hate them, the Puritans’ philosophy still affects the daily lives of millions of Americans, whether we are faithful Christians or hardened atheists — and whether we know it or not.

The Pilgrims celebrated the first Thanksgiving in the autumn of 1621, and more than 20,000 Puritans joined them in Massachusetts over the next 20 years. The two groups of Calvinists merged over time, drawn together by distinct values that they planted in the soil next to the pumpkins and corn: diligence, discipline and development (of the self and society). They shared a deep-seated conviction that it was possible to make the world a better place, and they labored with incredible intensity to close the gap between their ideals and reality.

Where did this obsessive drive come from? For the Puritans, hard work wasn’t just good — it was sacred. They didn’t invent this idea; sloth had long been one of Catholicism’s seven deadly sins, and Martin Luther had spawned the Protestant work ethic a century earlier. Idleness, he proclaimed, was “the greatest plague on earth.”

Photo Opposite Page: A Pilgrim’s work is never done. Women sewed and mended clothes whenever they sat down between gardening, cleaning, cooking, and caring for children. Only six women survived the first winter and were on hand to help prepare the first Thanksgiving meal—a three-day feast for an estimated 140 people.

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[L I F E] P R O F E S S I O N A L

Work - Work - Work

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John Calvin took Luther’s words even further, inspiring legions of anxious Puritans. Calvin stressed that humans were sinful and corrupt by nature. Left to our own devices, we would surely turn to the dark side. In other words: Idle hands are the devil’s workshop. Massachusetts Puritans made idleness a criminal offense — even in your own home. Dancing, singing and “unnecessary walking” were also outlawed. Fishing for your dinner was fine, but fishing for fun was most certainly not. Every action had to have a purpose.

Calvinists also believed in predestination: God had already assigned you to heaven or hell, and there was absolutely nothing you could do about it. BUT — and this is a big but — working really, really hard was a sign that you were indeed bound for the pearly gates.

“I say show your grace…by doing more than others,” urged minister John Preston. Saturated in the existential angst of an uncertain fate, the Puritans buried themselves in work,

Unnecessary walking? Better not be. Historical actors stay busy at a recreation of the Pilgrims’ settlement at the Plimoth Patuxet Museums in Plymouth Massachusetts.

warding off the devil with a frenzied search for any indication that they weren’t going to burn in eternal damnation, and generations of American workaholics were henceforth born.

The Puritans forged a powerful mental link between industriousness and salvation, and work remains embedded in the moral domain for many of us. In a recent study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Americans who were primed with words related to divine salvation (like redeem, heaven and saved) worked harder on a puzzle than those who were not. It didn’t matter whether they were Protestant, Catholic, or not religious at all — only that they were American (the prime had no effect on Canadians or Europeans).

Americans toil longer hours than people in almost every other advanced country, and we are the only one without a national mandate for paid time off. But even when we receive paid time off, we don’t use it: In 2018, 53% of us didn’t take all our paid vacation days, and 33% took none at all.

Why can’t we stop working and just relax?

Perhaps on a subconscious level, we feel like less worthwhile human beings when we do — just like the Puritans.

Remember the minister who said to show your grace by doing more than others? He crammed several careers into his short life before dying at 40, his health broken by exhaustion. So the next time you feel guilty for working a little less, remind yourself that you don’t have to earn your worthiness, and kick off those buckled shoes, because you are not a Pilgrim.

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[BE W EL L] M P HI N OD TF OUGLRNAEPSHSE R

Failing Her Way Toward Success Why failure is often the best thing that can happen to us

Women of Fort Worth who Inspire

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By Jade Emerson Illustration by Amber Davis

W

So, I started running in the opposite direction — I took a gap year instead of attending college.

The disappointment and defeat I felt led me to the best experiences — and challenges — of my life. I cooked in Paris. I wrote in Copenhagen. I studied in England. Failing was the best thing that could ever happen to me because it allowed me to become so much more than my plans ever allowed me to be.

The paradox in our modern world is that we are conditioned to avoid failure while also expected to meet the impossible demands of perfection that pave the path to falling short.

We are to be both mothers and career women.

We are to be strong and soft. We are to be accomplished and accommodating.

“Pursuing perfection can prevent progress,” says Adam Grant on Twitter, Wharton professor and organizational psychologist. “Success is the quality of our lives, not just the quantity of our achievements.”

The most painful and difficult lesson I have learned in my life is this: Failure is nothing to be afraid of. Only when I face failure have I ever found peace. You will lose. You will get a B (eventually). You will say the wrong thing at the wrong time. You will fail. And you will be better because of it. Because you will no longer be afraid to try.

“An ambitious goal raises your odds of success. It also boosts your odds of feeling like a failure,” Grant tweets. “My favorite solution is to set two targets: an aspirational goal and an acceptable result. If you fall short of the aspirational goal but hit the acceptable one, you haven’t failed.”

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e are born invincible. Around our small, new existence, the rest of the world revolves. In our fresh, untouched minds, we are free to dream and discover. This feeling of invincibility sticks with us for a while. But there comes a time in every life, whether it’s at 7, 17 or 70, when we realize that we are, after all, vincible. We learn that bones break and flesh tears. We learn that hearts can stop and be shattered. We learn that sometimes no matter how badly we want it, some dreams don’t come true. We learn consequence, disappointment and loss. And whether that blow happens at 7, 17 or 70, we never quite recover.

Failure is ingrained in us. And so becomes our fear of it.

Every step becomes calculated. We run the numbers and weigh the risks. We choose the safest, smartest course.

And yet, in some baffling and utterly frustrating way, we still fail.

For me, this realization hit at 18. As a senior in high school, I held the belief that if I worked hard enough, studied enough hours, and if I took all the right classes, then I would be accepted into any school I wanted, I would have a full ride, and I would be happy because I would be successful. I would do what no other human had before: I would not fail.

But then I did. I didn’t receive enough in scholarships, I was rejected from my dream school, my class rank dropped, and I got stressinduced shingles. Shingles.

[BE W EL L] M I N D F U L N E S S

Women of Fort Worth who Inspire

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I WANT A FULL EXISTENCE, EVEN IF THAT MEANS IT IS FULL OF FAILURE. BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT, A LIFE WITHOUT FAILURE IS NO LIFE AT ALL.

Without ambitions that present the possibility of failure, people can live with the surety of a comfortable existence, untouched by the highs and lows that come from a decision to live. But I’d rather be touched. I’d rather be disturbed. I’d rather be pushed out of the safety of what is known if it means I have a chance of becoming something more than complacent.

“One of the greatest gifts I have been given in my current career journey is the opportunity to listen to the stories of others during therapy. Many of these stories are stories of failure,” says Claire Varnon, a former high school English teacher and current counselor in training who works with veterans and college students. “I’ve realized that I cannot ask my clients to put failure in its place without working harder to do so myself. Becoming a therapist has led me to give myself grace in failure.”

I am absolutely against the notion that the end justifies the means. If this were true, life would just be a series of boxes checked with pass or fail. None of the in between would matter, but it is in these very moments that we find our escape from the construct of success.

“Society teaches us to measure success through possession, monetary gain and social influence. To seek authenticity, to seek outlets for service, to seek outlets for expression — these are admired but considered eccentric. They are considered novel but not ultimately roads to success,” Claire says. “The answer to who should define success or failure is easy: Each individual should define it for themselves in relation to the well-being of self and others.”

Our obsession with failure and success can also seep into the lives of those around us. By pushing us outside of the comfort of our own perspective and into the narratives of those around us, failure challenges us to a new sense of humility.

And so the question becomes no longer if we will fail, but rather what things do we care so deeply about that they are worth failing for — love, work, art, family, school, dreams?

I want a full existence, even if that means it is full of failure.

Because when it comes down to it, a life without failure is no life at all.

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[BE W EL L] M E N T A L H E A L T H E S S A Y

Lifelong Journey to Wellness

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Better Box

By Sarah Angle

When I got divorced five years ago, I didn’t even know what the word “resilience” meant.

I was a big blubbering mess.

Still trying hard (and failing a lot) to parent a 3-year-old daughter, reshape my career, learn how to manage money and a household, and kill a cockroach with my own shoe, instead of asking my husband to do it.

I remember those days very well. The moments of

extreme joy were punctuated by moments of fear, sadness and despair — like Amelia in my small kitchen icing cookies and dropping tiny handfuls of pastel-colored sprinkles on the table (and all over the floor) while wishing so much for another adult to just share the air in the room.

I wanted another adult to bring me a wet paper towel to clean up those glorious cookie crumbles.

I wanted another adult to ask me how I’m doing.

I wanted another adult to tell me, “It gets better.”

For all my education, support from my parents, and overall privilege, I wasn’t doing well.

In those moments and the year that followed, I was so immersed in my own pain and loneliness that I didn’t know what I really needed to feel better — besides the obvious more money and time.

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My ex-husband and I had been high school sweethearts. I met him during an English class in high school; he was a tall, dark and handsome swimmer, who wore cut-off khakis, bright Hawaiian shirts and flip-flops.

We went to prom together. We went to college together. We got married and shared a life from 18 – 35. He was all I ever knew about love or relationships. The break was severe and cutting — like a piece of my soul had been surgically removed but nothing else inserted in its place.

And yet, I survived. Even thrived. But in those moments, those days, those weeks, that year — I couldn’t see the other side.

Right before the pandemic, I had the great pleasure of attending the Jordan Elizabeth Harris Foundation’s Bring the Conversation to Light Luncheon. I vividly remember one of the speakers saying that people die by suicide because they can’t get past a moment in time.

A moment in time.

Divorce is a trauma. Miscarriage is a trauma.

Losing a job is a trauma. The pandemic might be the greatest trauma of our generation.

Trauma is collective. It compounds, and if it’s left untreated, it gets worse, just like a sport’s injury when more pressure and physical activity are applied.

I began to understand this better while conducting focus group research with a colleague in the Department of Social Work at TCU. We were studying participants’ responses to the new Recognize & Rise website, an initiative started by the Mental Health Connection of Tarrant County to help people in Tarrant County recognize trauma and rise up from it, building resilience and coping methods along the way.

Sometimes, the hardest situations — like trauma — lead to the best ideas. I knew how badly I’d felt after experiencing my own forms of trauma over the past five years, and I’d heard the stories and experiences from students, friends and focus group participants about the impact of mental health challenges in their own lives.

Like most people, I was Zoomed out. I was tired of living life from a screen or behind a screened-in door. I wanted something I could touch, feel, do — now.

[BE W EL L] M E N T A L H E A L T H E S S A Y

Lifelong Journey to Wellness

66

Learn more about Better Box at yourbetterbox.org and @your_betterbox

For me, the answer was Better Box. It’s a curated collection of evidenceinformed products to help improve mental health in kids, young adults, and those beautiful souls in the helping professions like nurses and teachers. Better Box addresses social, physical and mental health with three products that work on those areas in our brain. (1) There are mini greeting cards in the box designed to increase social connection and inspire others. (2) There’s a lavender candle or lip balm to connect with our physical senses using the efficacy of lavender to lower stress and improve mood. (3) And there’s a journal to record daily gratitude, which cultivates well-being and provides hope.

I’ve wanted to start a social enterprise like this since I was in my 20s. I would have never dreamed it would have taken a divorce, single parenting, a broken engagement, contracting COVID-19, and a never-ending pandemic to give me that courage and conviction I needed to do it.

The resilience I couldn’t find or define five years ago has saved me today.

And I hope that other people (kids and adults) can use Better Box as part of their lifelong journey to wellness. I know I do every day.

I’m still the same person I was when I was 35. I still want another adult in the room. I still want somebody to ask me how I’m doing. But today I know: It gets better. (And I know how to kill a cockroach with my own size 10 running shoe.)

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[BE W EL L] H E A L I N G

When East Meets West

There’s a new generation of health care providers who are combining complementary practices like reiki with traditional allopathic treatment of patients in hopes of improving recovery success from both mental and physical illnesses.

By Jennifer Casseday-Blair

An Alternative Health Practice

68

Western medicine has gripped the health care industry for a long time, especially in a conservative city like Fort Worth. But more and more people find comfort and relief from alternative health practices such as acupuncture, tai chi and reiki. That’s not to say they are firing their oncologists and exchanging them for yogis. For instance, a patient undergoing chemotherapy may turn to complementary and alternative therapies to cope with side effects such as nausea, pain and fatigue.

Reiki master and teacher, Rebecca Emery, operates a private studio on Camp Bowie. “Reiki

is for everyone. It does no harm. It’s not a religion. It’s not magic. It’s within all of us and is a matter of the attunement process. Think of it as tuning into a radio station,” she says.

Rebecca’s reiki sessions typically take an hour.

She says that clients don’t need to wear any special outfit. It’s just important that they are comfortable. “Every practitioner is different. I have my clients lie on the table and relax as I place my hands on several different parts of the body, or if they prefer, I can hover my hands over their body. Some people talk through the whole thing, while others may sleep because they rarely have a time to be that still,” Rebecca says.

What is attunement?

Receiving a reiki attunement is a spiritual experience, as your energetic pathways are opened by a reiki master. This opening allows the reiki energy to flow freely through your body to impact your health. The feeling of a reiki attunement is a personal one, but students often report that they feel a lightening of their body and tingling from their head to their toes as the reiki energy pathways are opened. *From the International Association of Reiki Professionals.

Chakra 101

THIRD EYE CHAKRA LOCAT IO N :

Between the eyes on the forehead COLOR AS SO CIAT IO N :

Indigo MEAN IN G:

Intuition and imagination

CROWN CHAKRA LOC AT I ON :

Top of the head

SOLAR PLEXUS CHAKRA LOC AT I ON :

Violet or white

Upper abdomen in the stomach area

M EA N I N G :

C OLOR AS S OC I ATION:

Awareness and intelligence

Yellow

C OLOR AS S OC I ATI ON :

M EA N I N G :

THROAT CHAKRA

SACRAL CHAKRA

LOCAT IO N :

LOC AT I ON :

Throat

Below the bellybutton and above the pubic bone

COLOR AS SO CIAT IO N :

Blue MEAN IN G:

Communication

OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02

Self-esteem and confidence

69

C OLOR AS S OC I ATION:

Orange M EA N I N G :

Sexuality, pleasure, creativity

HEART CHAKRA

ROOT CHAKRA

LOCAT IO N :

LOC AT I ON :

Center of the chest above the heart

Base of the spine in the tailbone area

COLOR AS SO CIAT IO N :

C OLOR AS S OC I ATION:

Green

Red

MEAN IN G:

M EA N I N G :

Love and compassion

Physical identity, stability, grounding

*From the Vinyasa Yoga Academy

[BE W EL L] H E A L I N G

An Alternative Health Practice

70

Reiki dates back to the late 19th century and was used as a Japanese method of energy healing. According to practitioners, energy can stagnate in the body where there has been physical injury or even emotional pain. Over the course of time, these energy blocks can cause illness. In order to be effective, one must first experience reiki attunement, or the process of opening up your energy system. There are three levels of reiki attunements or the opening of chakras (Shoden, Okuden and Shinpiden).

Chakras are thought of as the energy centers of the body focused around a group of nerves and organs. There are a total of seven primary chakras, each representing different areas of the body that correspond to physical, emotional and spiritual states of being. Reiki opens the chakras, specifically the crown, heart and hands.

“It’s funny. Sometimes I have people come in thinking I’m going to predict their future. It’s not like that. Our bodies are like garden hoses.

We get kinks, and sometimes things aren’t flowing well. You need to undo those knots so things can flow,” Rebecca says.

Finding a traditional health care provider that combines Eastern and Western practices is not as difficult as it was just a few years ago.

Potential Health Benefits of Reiki · Accelerates healing · Enables emotional balance · Enables optimism and joy · Helps relieve depression

· Helps relieve insomnia · Helps to relieve post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms · Helps with the release of grief, anger, agitation and fear · Improves mental clarity · Offers relief and

reduction to distress and injury

· Restores energy and vitality

· Reduces and eliminates pain

· Stimulates the immune system

· Reduces side effects from chemotherapy and radiation treatments

· Supports life changes

· Reduces stress and tension · Relieves anxiety and panic

· Supports optimal health, inner peace and well-being · Supports personal growth and selfimprovement

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[FO OD] E S S A Y

Why Can’t I Cook Like My Mother?

A matriarch’s lineage through food

By Angie Martinez

The Matriarchs of Our Family

72

M

agdalena’s chef Juan Rodriguez can’t make flour tortillas like his grandmother. Chef Mark Guatelara, owner of Ober Here food truck, can’t make lumpia like his mother. Chef Nehme Elbitar of Chadra Mezza & Grill can’t make any of his mother’s dishes.

I’ve grouped myself with elite Fort Worth chefs, but we have a characteristic in common: We can’t cook like the matriarchs in our family. We can’t not cook — some of us have an extensive culinary background and run successful restaurants, and others get by on a nightly basis with a Pinterest recipe.

Nonetheless, we have spent years watching the women in our families prepare dishes to feed an army, and yet the essence can’t be replicated.

I can read. I can follow instructions; therefore, I can follow a recipe, which means I can follow my mother’s recipes, but they never turn out the same. My mother is a master of Mexican dishes, but the one that would be found in the link to her bio, if she had one, would be her Mexican rice. Not a single party where it wasn’t requested. Bottle of wine? No thanks, sartén* of rice, please. It’s the perfect amount

of dry and moist, where each grain of rice is unique from the next. It’s fluffy, flavorful and just the perfect amount of saltiness. My rice has a beautiful black crust on the bottom. The salt-to-rice ratio is enough to make you want to scratch your tongue. I’m not proud of it. I’m also not alone in it.

Chef Juan learned to cook from a very young age through spending summers in Monterrey, Mexico, with his grandmother, Magdalena, the namesake to his restaurant/catering business.

Magdalena wasn’t experimental with cooking but enjoyed making traditional fare such as rice, beans, tamales and tortillas. “Her flour tortillas were the best,” Juan says. “Hell no, no way,” he says about trying to replicate them. “I’ve tried time after time after time, and I can’t get it.”

Juan says the missing ingredient is Magdalena’s delicate hands. “I would sit in front of her. I can see her making her masa* — the roll, the technique, perfectly soft and smooth — that special grandma touch.” It was a rite of passage for Juan to learn his grandmother’s recipes, but somehow he still can’t replicate her flour tortillas even after hours sitting in front of her kneading the dough and enduring the

SPANISH WORDS OF THE DAY *

sartén pan

masa dough

*

73 OneToKnowMagazine.com | ISSUE 02

scalding hot water as it pours over his hands, perfecting the consistency.

I have my mother’s hands, but I haven’t used them to make dishes well enough to recall a nostalgic memory. My mother’s hands, too, are soft and delicate. They’ve lived a life of their own as a wife, daughter, sister, aunt, mother and grandmother.

Could it be just in the hands of the beholder? Are our mother’s hands seasoned, like fine-aged tequila, after years of cooking with their mothers?

Chef Nehme Elbitar learned the dishes of his native village in Chadra, Lebanon, through watching his mother cook for him. She grows her own herbs and vegetables and enjoys creating traditional Lebanese dishes. “There’s a purpose to her cooking,” Nehme says.

Chef MIL (chef mother-in-law) as Nehme’s wife and business partner, Christina Elbitar, calls her, has a passion to feed her family.

“There’s love. It’s different; we cook for a living, to survive,” Nehme says. Nehme attributes his mother’s craft to also knowing the science behind the ingredients. “You have to know how an onion is going to react when you drop it into hot oil, when to add the seasonings, and how they’ll work with that onion,” he says.

Photo Top: Chef Juan Rodriguez's, grandmother, Magdalena Rodriguez.

Photo Courtesy of Chef Juan Rodriguez, Magdalena's

Photo Above: Chef Nehme Elbitar, and his mother.

Photo Courtesy of Nehme Elbitar, Chadra Mezza & Grill

[FO OD] E S S A Y

The Matriarchs of Our Family

74

Photo Above: Dixya Bhattara, with her mom Neeta Bhattarai.

Photo Courtesy of Chef Dixya Bhattarai, Hao & Dixya

Opposite Page Bottom Left: My mother is Le Hong Tran; I'm Hao Hong Tran. This pic was taken just a few weeks before the fall of Saigon, 1975. My mother passed away seven years ago.

Photo Courtesy of Chef Hao Hong Tran, Hao & Dixya

Opposite Page Top Right: This photo was sent to me straight from the Philippines. I’m the little boy in front, and my mom Alma is next to my grandma.

Photo Courtesy of Chef Mark Guatelara, Ober Here

His mother glances over a recipe and something clicks. The whole dish comes together in her mind, and she then puts her hands to work. “Everything is done in pinches — a pinch of this, a pinch of that. It’s a purpose and a knowledge that can’t be replicated,” Nehme says.

Purpose, an ingredient that is sometimes missing in the age of fast food and fast bulk meal prep. I had the privilege to slow down for a whole year, and the second I was given the opportunity to jump back into the fast lane, I did. It’s now a distant memory. We spent most of 2020 and part of 2021 together, and we ate every meal as a family together.

Hao Tran and Dixya Bhattarai, of Hao & Dixya, recall moments in their childhood of being surrounded by their mother, grandmothers and aunts, and the magical powers they possessed when preparing meals. Her comfort food was a braised pork belly dish with egg served with a side of rice and greens that her mother and grandmother used to make for her. She never prepared it herself until after her mother passed away. “I wanted to make something that reminded me of her. The thing about food is you can replicate the dish but not the memory and the people you were with,” Hao says.

Chef Dixya doesn’t have the expertise when it comes to picking cauliflower to create her mother’s dish, Aloo Cauli, a Nepali-style vegetarian dish made with cauliflower, potatoes and peas. “There is a very particular taste and texture that I cannot replicate in my kitchen,” Dixya says. “I lack the patience.”

Growing up in a joint family with her grandmother, mom and aunts all around her, Dixya remembers finding them all in the

kitchen busy preparing for the next meal — cutting vegetables, sorting rice and lentils.

“Every summer my grandmother took on a big task to sun-dry and pickle vegetables, so we had plenty of deliciousness in the winter months to come,” she says.

As an adult, the nostalgia that accompanies a memory of watching my mother cook elicits an immediate feeling of safety — I feel cared for; I feel safe.

“There’s this invisible line that exists connecting a mother’s heart to the food,” Ober Here chef Mark Guatelara says. “When I go home to Chicago, I come prepared with a list of meals I want her to prepare for me, because nothing compares, and I can’t make meals like she does.”

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The matriarchs in our families are the OG’s of meal prep, and I don’t think we are meant to cook like them because we aren’t them. We grew up differently. Sometimes cooking with our mothers and grandmothers doesn’t just have the purpose of learning how to cook a family recipe. Maybe it’s learning patience and time — patience to allow something to boil, simmer or sauté. What we inherit from our mothers, whether it comes in the form of a recipe or a memory, is something that we carry with us throughout our lives, whether or not we can recreate it. So maybe we aren’t meant to reproduce it but rather carry that memory with us and help it evolve into new experiences with our families and friends.

[PHI L A NTH ROPY] S T O N E ’ S T H R O W F A R M C O .

Stone’s Throw From Home A farm for adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities where they get dirty and get outside, a place to belong

By Celestina Blok

Planting a Seed for Something Good

76

For Trish Stone, farming is more than growing produce — it’s planting a seed for something good for young adults with special needs.

Trish owns Stone’s Throw Farm Co., which operates on 2 acres in Southwest Fort Worth, producing vegetable crops, eggs, pickles and jams.

The venture started about six years ago when Trish’s gardening hobby “honestly got out of control,” and folks began requesting to buy from her bounty. Soon, she was selling out at farmers markets and eventually quit her longtime career in the car sales industry to keep up with demand.

But with three teenage sons, two of which have special needs, Trish knew her budding business was bound for something bigger. “We thought if we have this farm, there’ll always be a place for them to work,” Trish says. “Once they leave high school, there are just not a lot of opportunities for folks with special needs who are just maybe short of getting a parttime job somewhere.”

Trish’s 15-year-old son, Jackson, has autism, and her 12-year-old son, Cru, has cystic fibrosis. Between therapy visits and doctor’s appointments, there may one day be challenges for them in finding work, she says. “We thought if we can do this for them, who else can we help?”

Now with a nonprofit organization status — official since June — Trish has the green light to continue her business with a mission of helping others with challenges like those of her sons. Her husband, Jack, also left his full-time job last year to partner with her in that mission.

“We provide work opportunities for young adults with special needs.

That includes kitchen work, working at the farm stand making change, greeting customers and packing orders, and working on the farm by planting, weeding, cultivating, harvesting, cleaning and feeding animals,” she says. “We have seven interns already. Some are working toward being paid, and for some, it’s a place to hang out, make friends, and get outside and get dirty.”

Clockwise Starting with Top Left: Trish and Cru, youngest son, at a neighborhood; Kaylea and customer at Clearfork Farmer’s Market; Stone Family; Trish and gnarly carrots we grow in our clay soil; Jack and Trish at a recent farmer’s market

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[PHI L A NTH ROPY] S T O N E ’ S T H R O W F A R M C O .

Planting a Seed for Something Good

78

Interviews are called “meet and greets,” Trish says, and they provide an opportunity to meet applicants, their parents or guardians, and to assess skill level. Getting outside, getting exercise, sunshine and vitamin D, and learning where food comes from are all life skills Trish thought would be most beneficial for her new employees. But it’s the development of crucial social skills, she says, that’s been the most apparent. “A lot of them might go to an adult program where they see the same people every day, or they hang out with their siblings, parents and grandparents and that’s it,” she says. “This is something completely new, and it pushes them.”

One intern doesn’t enjoy getting dirty, whether it’s tracking soil on his shoes or wearing dirty gardening gloves. But he loves being out there watching Trish work. “It’s moral support, and that’s OK. If someone wants to come out here and help me harvest, that’s great.

If someone wants to come out and watch me harvest and just be out in nature, that’s good, too.”

Another intern loves to hug. “He would hug me for two hours if he could,” she says. “He’s just a hugger.” But Trish helped him understand that not everyone may be open to hugs from a stranger, much less lengthy ones, she says.

“And that’s just socially learning how to be out in the world,” she says.

Clockwise Starting with Top Left: Trish and first farm truck; Kaylea Lambert at Clearfork Farmer’s Market; Our mobile farmstand; Trish and fall green tomato

“There needs to be more options for these folks besides therapy — places for them to belong and contribute and make friends,” Trish Stone says.

Customers can support A Stone’s Throw by visiting one of its many farm-stand events throughout the week, including Saturday mornings at Clearfork Farmers Market.

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As Trish works to navigate the nonprofit world while still maintaining a profitable family business, she’s not looking to expand her 2-acre farm anytime soon. Instead, finding funding and more volunteers to help supervise interns is a top priority, which will in turn allow for more internship shifts. “Someone may need guidance on packing pickles or jarring jams. Others might be able to do it alone,” she says.

Kaylea Lambert, who works as Stone’s cashier, has a condition called arthrogryposis.

She’s paralyzed from the chest down and uses a motorized wheelchair. “It’s good for me to learn how to work with people and how to communicate,” Kaylea says, adding that at first, she wasn’t comfortable getting very close to customers.

“But now I’m like, ‘It’s all right,’” she says.

“I’ve gotten to know customers, and some of them know me, too, which is awesome.”

Initially, Kaylea’s mother wasn’t sure how she could help. Even those closest to someone with special needs or a disability might not realize that person’s capability. Trish says she now can’t run her farm stand without her.

Kaylea is now one of the farm’s most vital fixtures, and Trish says she couldn’t run her farm stands without her.

[P ON DER] U N T I L N E X T I S S U E

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Women of Fort Worth Who Inspire

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