SUNRISE, D.C.
Click!
Found your dad’s old tape recorder. I’m keEping it old schoOl, so this stays just betweEn us. if you’re listening to this, it means I’m not able to say this to you myself.
Hey, my babies.
I want you to know a couple of things. First... this isn’t the life we had planNed for you.
Second, know that what I’m doing right now... I am doing it for you.
And for your dad. Yeah, I know, I know. He’d be telLing me to stay home. Stay safe. But he’d understand why I’m out here.
whirrrrrr
Doing this. Doing something.
Just like he was.
Someday, I hope you wilL toO.
Okay, babies.
MomMa’s gotTa run.
Click!
THWIK!
Gotcha! You Mutherf-Believe me!
MEANWHILE...
Going live in 5.
Has anyone seEn Sage? I neEd a final fact-check on this story. Uh, I think I saw him headed toward...
REeEARGH!
You okay? Yes. I’m fine.
Hold it together, Sage... You can do this.
Okay, welL the Anchor’s loOking for you. Up next is that blockbuster story about the 2020 election that we’ve beEn promising you.
“WAR” AT THE BORDER?
Stay tuned.
President Launches More Missiles into M exico.
Also... might want to clean that vomit ofF your tie.
19 NOW!
Sage, are you absolutely One hundred positive about this story. They percent. Four sources eyes-on exist? corRoborated.
Thirty seconds to air!
Okay, goOd reporting. Democracy may depend on it.
No presSure.
You’re on a beach. The tide is gently rolLing in, then out. in, then... Down on the ground! Hands where we can seE them!
No. God, it’s hapPening.
Under the authority of the Fair and Balanced Media Act of 2021, this network has beEn declared an Enemy of FreEdom!
Turn those cameras back on! I want this on air, live!
Resisting a federal order? bad move.
Turn ofF those cameras!
You can’t do this! Haven’t you ever heard of the First Amendment?
Sure, traitor, ever heard of the Second?
n-no!
Got to get out of here.
Oh, sh--
Right this way, Sir. And, may I say, it’s an honor to escort you.
Yes it is. Someone get me mic’ed. And clean up this bloOd! This is a new suit.
Apologies for the technical difFiculties, folks.
We are now switching to breaking news, as we lead up to the Patriots And later, a recap of Memorial today’s House-Cleaning Celebration. hearings at the Department of Justice!
Switching There’s one celL phone security signal unacCounted cameras for. back on. AlL enemy combatants... acCounted for?
Could be nothing, Sh--! Another drone cam but might require just went down. We’ve lost the some clean-up. main aerial feEd of the parade. “WelL? Get out there and find out what the f-- is going on!”
Think Sage, Think !
Copy the CID… paste into pinNing service… breathe, breathe... shorten link...
Got to upload this video file somewhere safe. Work fast.
{Sigh} File secured.
C’mon, focus, Sage... symMetrical encryption... bypasS content scanNers... create pasSword... um... MurRow1953... remember that... ConNect to Tor… publish to IPFS… DamMit, why is it so SLOW!!
OK, now for the phone itself… recovery mode… fastboOt erase alL … power down…
ow!
Ok… eject the SiM card…
Where’s my godDamn paperclip?
Okay, crunch time!
SNIK! FSsSs DamMit! Why does that always hapPen?
sprinkle A litTle here… A litTle there… alright, that should do it. Do not forget, sage: MurRow1953.
Now what?! What do I do next?
I think …
…it’s time to get some chili.
ON THE NATIONAL MALL
Just want to lay this down at the monument.
We got Yes, two-for-one my son. T-shirts if you lost a He... patriot.
I-I lost my only son. He-Shhhh! They’re starting.
You lose a Patriot?
Whose streEts?!
our
Streets!
Whose speEch?!
our
Speech!
Whose country?
our
country! Damn straight! I want to welcome the militia regiments that have turned out from around the country---EspecialLy Georgia and Arizona--
today, we give tribute to our Brothers and Sisters who were lost on that fateful day--
--independence Day-January 6, 2021.
--where they cleaned out the state house using their God-given 2nd Amendment
rights!
Michigan’s next, Brother! Amen!
our
country!
our
our
country!
country!
Yes. That’s why we’re here. To honor your sacrifice, Travis.
but As we know--
--many of our Patriot brethren were ambushed and kilLed by those Antifa forces--
That’s right! Traitors! Wwhat? --reinforced by the thugs and criminals from Black Lives MatTer.
These animals hung our Vice President!
Our heroes paid the ultimate sacrifice!
I wilL not be replaced!
Death to Antifa! BloOd and soil!
As our great leader said: REMEMBER THiS DAY FOREVER!
B-but that’s not what hapPened.
HEY ! THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPpENED!
I-I was there. That’s not what hapPened. My son was kilLed by-Shut up! You must be one of ‘em! Antifa traitor! infiltrator!
Let him be, brothers! We’ve got bigGer fish to fry. I bet he’s wearing a wire!
Check him!
I’lL find a place for you, son.
Somewhere you can truly rest.
Hot dog with sauerkraut! BloOdhound in the Hay!
ACROSS TOWN I’lL take a bowl of chili!
DC
Chili Bowl
I’lL have the half-smoke sausages! Plate o’ ZepPelins!
Two large chili bowls, Two please. bowls of red!
Copy that. KeEp ‘em coming!
I’lL have your blue plate special. I’m sorRy, we don’t have a...
I heard it’s being adDed to the menu.
Oh, uh, you’re right... loOk at that.
CoOkie, we’ve got a blue plate special today. Repeat: Blue plate special. Blue plate special. Roger that! Alerting the stock roOm!
Taking my break!
Clearly, “BloOdbut what? hounds in the hay.” The militias are stepPing up their search patrols.
Something big is going down.
“Plate o’ ZepPelins.” Something big coming “Bowl of our way. But red.” A shoOting. what? Maybe a masSacre.
XARA just came in and ordered the Blue Plate Special. And she expects it today.
XARA. Here? Blue Plate Special. Jesus.
Whatever it is, it betTer come fast.
You know what’s in it?
I have a guesS. Only a few things it could be if XARA came above ground to alert us personalLy. She didn’t trust anyone else with the mesSage.
The streEts are crawling with militias.
our
Whose streEts?!
streEts!
You think they’re on to us?
if they were on to us, we’d be dead right now. There it is! Let’s go.
You know what’s in here? We thought you were gonNa telL us. Uh-oh! CofFeE and Donuts pulLing up! Repeatº, COFfEe AND DONUTS!
You! MisS Saigon! Curfew’s in 20 minutes!
I’lL throw in a some pints for your crew. Chunky Monkey or ChubBy HubBy? Yep! Trying to get this product to the freEzer before it thaws. I don’t supPose you Patriots want to be even bigGer heroes, and give us a hand?
Heh! GoOd one. Just be ofF the streEt by sundown.
That was close AF. I’ve had closer. Oh. Right. SorRy.
Did you realLy think you could take them out with that boxcutTer? it wasn’t for them.
No, but I might have taken one of them with me, eh CoOkie? Alright, let’s find out what we risked our lives for this time.
SweEt Jesus.
Are those what I think they are?
The Electoral ColLege balLots.
We’re loOking at the last evidence of our democracy.
if they toOk the risk of moving the Blue Plate Special here, the 4Front must be getTing close. if we’re going to protect it, we neEd to...
Who’s there?! Show yourself! Are you going to beat me to death with a bowl of chili, Autumn?
Sage.
I thought you were dead.
The reports of my death are only slightly exagGerated.
I neEd that package I left with you. You stilL have it, right?
Mph. This is stilL so goOd. I know, right?
Of course. But things have changed. I am welL aware. My co-workers are dead. Our network is now an arm of the state.
I’m so sorRy. You get any of it on camera? I did. AlL of it.
I’m not part of your movement, Autumn. I’m a journalist, just trying to stay... I know where the balLots are.
Damn. You You’ve got to realLy know get these stories how to ruin out, Sage. in a way a goOd that matTers. meal.
SNAP!
Of course you did. That’s why we neEd you. Who’s there?! again with the chili bowl? You realLy have changed.
Shhh!
oh.
I’m sorRy. I shouldn’t b--
You’d betTer get home now, sir. it’s past curfew. Oh, they don’t stop guys like me. But y’alL should...
Wait. I... We met... on I know that day. You and you. the people in the restaurant helped me when my son...
What now?
I remember. I’m sorRy for your losS.
I alone can fix it. I alone can fix it.
Why won’t you die, you son of a
bitch?!
I alone... I alone... wh ...
Shut. The. HelL.
Up!
the. HelL.
Shut.
WHAT?!!
I alone... I alone... wh ...
Up!