OTR less diminishing. I wonder if he was still upset with me for missing his last baseball game, even though I had apologized profusely, and even though I hadn’t meant to miss it. I didn’t choose anything over it, I just couldn’t get there in time. Life interferes with so much. And yet, I was on my way! I just didn’t make it in time. I’d had to finish something at work, something I had to drop off with my boss before I hit the bathroom to change into my Angels gear. I had a pit in my stomach as I changed, knowing I was pushing it to make it on time. I calmed down when I took a
“I could get so lost inside that song; I could go to my past, look into my future or become someone else completely. I thought about all the films I never made, the songs I never played. Solea was an escape and a reminder. It was dangerous to drive to. It was the last thing I remember from that night.” second to look at myself in the mirror. I saw a glimpse of my old self and it paralyzed me, just for a second, but now I was another second later for Jasper’s game. I breathed and knew the good part of my day was about to begin. I ran out to my car and began on my way to the field. To further relax me, I hit play on Miles Davis’ Sketches of Spain. I wished I was on the way to my own game. I wished I didn’t work a job that made me have to rush to the field. I wish I worked a job I loved. I wondered if I should put my name in to be the commissioner next year or at least join the board of the little league. At a light, I watched two teenage girls cross the street. It pained me that I didn’t flirt enough when I was teenager. It pained me that I couldn’t flirt now. Flirting, just the innocence of it, the openness, the fun of its possibility seemed to signify the essence
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The Olivetree Review
ISSUE 65 (the real one okok).indd 47
4/11/19 2:56 PM