OTR 58 CYNTHIA (sighs) Right away, madam. (She grabs a large bottle of scotch and begins pouring it into a tea kettle as they speak) THATCHER So, what’s on the agenda for today? CYNTHIA Well, the miner’s strike is still going strong. Those coal miners have really been suffering since all of those manufacturing jobs were lost. THATCHER Oh Cynthia. Darling Cynthia. You know I don’t give a shit. CYNTHIA But Prime Minister, unemployment has skyrocketed. Those people have families! THATCHER Don’t sass me. I know what I’m doing. I wasn’t reelected for nothing, you know! (Takes a large swig of “tea”) Now, I beg of you, tell me something I actually care about. CYNTHIA (Checking clipboard) Hmm………ah yes! We confiscated quite a few more films today. THATCHER Splendid! Read the list to me. CYNTHIA There’s Cannibal Holocaust, I Spit On Your Grave, The Driller Killer, Zombie Flesh Eaters, Gestapo’s Last Orgy, and……oh this can’t be right……
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THATCHER What? What isn’t right? CYNTHIA The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas? THATCHER Ah yes! I requested that one personally. CYNTHIA But madam, that’s a Dolly Parton film. It’s a musical. THATCHER Cynthia, I will not be promoting prostitution in this country! But Prime Minister-
CYNTHIA
THATCHER No buts! Whorehouse is banned. CYNTHIA (sighs) Yes, Prime Minister. (THATCHER smiles and has another swig.) THATCHER God bless censorship. I, for one, feel much safer knowing Britain’s impressionable youth are protected from these disgusting, obscene films. Who knows what could be unleashed if we allowed these tapes to be sold? (Suddenly, two American AGENTS burst through the door, pointing guns at THATCHER and CYNTHIA.) AGENT A Freeze, you film-hating swine! (CYNTHIA and THATCHER raise their hands over their heads and scream.)
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