The Contact 9-11-24

THE OKLAHOMA UNITED METHODIST

Weekly

Volume 6, Number 37 • September 11, 2024 • www.okumc.org

Does your church have a wedding policy? 2

10 ways to deepen church-school connections 4

E HERbs, K CLIC ts, jo even for more! and

Finding a Rhythm 6

Save the Date Employment Passages Appointments

Exciting news! A new system will make camp registration a breeze 10

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The Oklahoma United Methodist Contact

September 11, 2024

Does your church have a wedding policy?

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very church congregation should meet and discern policies regarding use of church facilities for its context and ministry needs. While some churches have had policies in place for decades, others are just now seeing the need for them.

We offer a few tips for formulating a policy at your church.

All items may not be applicable, and of course, more may be needed for your context. Churches should always follow the Book of Discipline for specific guidelines.

Who can get married at your church?

Does your church offer weddings only to members and their families?

Must couples undergo marriage counseling before the wedding?

Does your church choose to host same-sex weddings?

depositphotos.com

denominations allowed to perform wedding ceremonies at your church?

Who can perform wedding ceremonies at your church?

Do you require that only appointed clergy from your church perform weddings?

Are officiants from other UM churches allowed to perform wedding ceremonies?

Are officiants from other

weddings be scheduled?

How many hours before and after the scheduled ceremony will Scheduling participants have access to the church?

When can weddings be scheduled at Are there additional scheduling your church? needs for bridal portraits and/or a Are certain days (i.e., Sundays and wedding rehearsal? holidays) not available for weddings?

Is there a person (wedding Amenities coordinator, scheduler, etc.) who is Does your church provide A/V the contact for all weddings at your services? If so, what is included, and church? who is allowed to run it?

How far in advance should Does your church have musicians or

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others available for the ceremony?

Does your church provide space for brides and/or grooms to get ready?

Do you offer a reception space on your property?

How much parking does your church provide?

Decorating Does your congregation have a policy around holidays, like Christmas, when the sanctuary is typically heavily decorated?

Does your church have any rules regarding the use of tape, nails, pushpins, etc., when attaching decorations?

Who is responsible for relocating items (like lecterns, music stands, instruments, etc.), cleaning up, etc.?

Prohibitions Is your church campus tobacco free? Also, be sure to include the prohibition of alcohol in your policy.

Does your church allow or prevent the release of balloons, rice, or other items?

The Oklahoma United Methodist Contact

September 11, 2024

Sample Wedding Policies We scoured the Internet for UM churches whose wedding policies are online. We found a few to share with you as you work on your church’s policy.

Belmont UMC in Nashville, TN Click here for a thorough wedding policy sample that includes multiple concerns, along with a link to a Wedding Procedures document.

First UMC in Clover, SC Click here for an additional sample with a thorough explanation of policies and procedures.

Immanuel UMC in Lakeside Park, KY Click here for a sample wedding policy that is restricted to opposite-sex unions.

Port Edwards UMC in Edwards, WI Click here for a sample policy that is inclusive toward same sex couples.

Fees What fee do you charge for the use of your space?

Do you require a minimum honorarium for the officiating pastor?

Do you have a separate fee for a small, private wedding ceremony?

What are other line items that may incur fees (i.e., A/V staff, musician(s), damages, extra time, child care)?

Other Considerations Does your church have a photography and/or videography policy?

Does your church have a floral policy?

Does your church provide child care for weddings?

Decorations are just one of many concerns congregations can address with a robust wedding policy. Photo via Depositphotos.

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10 ways to deepen church-school connections School Advisory Council that includes parents, community leaders, students ocal United Methodist and educators. She says, “That’s been churches can ensure students, a great way for me to be involved teachers, administrators and and to learn about what’s going on families have a successful school year academically, and also mental healthby providing more than pencils and wise, not just with our students, but notebooks. They can also offer love, also with the educators. I can also peace and hope.

BY LAURA BUCHANAN

L

“Kids are at school half of their life, and if I want to be any kind of support to my students, I have to be involved in the schools. I have to be able to connect with their schools and know what’s going on if I want to understand their world,” says Emily Felgenhauer, Director of Youth Ministries at First United Methodist Church of Lakeland, Florida.

Here are ten ways your church can nurture relationships with area schools, teachers and families in order to build trust and make a difference:

teacher appreciation meals or gifts, graduations, book drives or fundraisers. Offer to refresh the teachers’ break room or other spaces.

Connect with the Parent Teacher Association. Felgenhauer shares that at their church’s partner elementary school, “Our youth serve by helping put flower beds in and doing upkeep.”

Go on a prayer walk.

When Hennis was a teacher in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, members of a neighboring church would visit during teacher workday. They would walk through the halls, spend time in each classroom and touch every desk while they prayed for the upcoming school year. “It just stuck with me how much they cared,” Hennis remembers. “When a teacher or school knows that someone is praying for them it means a lot.” If you aren’t able to enter the school, ask for permission to walk the school grounds instead.

Identify needs.

Retired teacher Sharon Lowe Hennis, member of Sedge Garden Rev. Pam Cottrill of Inola UMC prays with children over their backpacks at the schools’ Back to School United Methodist Church, in Block Party. Submitted photo.

Kernersville, North Carolina, suggests, “It’s important for the local church to know what schools share things I hear from the students, Be present. are in your area. Have a contact group like bullying, and then offer solutions Felgenhauer spends time with meet the principal and guidance or ways we can support.” students during their lunch period, counselor to ask what the needs are.” asking how they are doing and how If your ministry is new, begin with just Volunteer. classes are going. If you can’t attend one nearby school.

Ask to serve at field day and during the day, Hennis suggests, the book fair. Be a reading buddy “My Sunday School class works Deepen your understanding. or a test proctor. Ask if the church concessions during school sporting Felgenhauer serves on a community can help with special programs, events. We wear our church t-shirts

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The Oklahoma United Methodist Contact

September 11, 2024

Support families.

First UMC of Lakeland hosts monthly Parent Connect Nights to guide parents as their child goes through emotional, intellectual and Provide special experiences. physical changes. Programming has Hennis’ Sunday School class also included mental health information, works with a nonprofit organization higher-education preparations, selfthat supports unhoused students in the defense classes and internet safety local school system. For ten years, the tips. Felgenhauer says, “It’s been class has hosted a celebration meal for really great because we have a lot of Encourage teachers. the program’s high school graduates.

Ask school principals if you can host parents attend that aren’t involved Each student receives a Bible, gift in our church… they’re navigating a a back-to-school lunch for teachers on bag and framed cap and gown photo. really scary world.”

Hennis shares, “We want them to know their first day of work. Sedge Garden that we’ve noticed them. We hope they UMC held such an event in their Strengthen relationships. see Christ’s love for them through us.” decorated Fellowship Hall, where Students in your church can they distributed treat bags and the greatly benefit from your time and pastor offered an uplifting message.

Make space for anxiety.

Felgenhauer reminds, “Encouragement effort teaching them relationshipSchool hallways are increasingly building and social skills they’ll take stressful, not only because of academic is a big piece. What teacher just needs to school. Felgenhauer explains, “It’s and social pressures, but also because a hug? Teachers are dealing with their the support of knowing they are not own personal ‘stuff,’ and then they’re of the fear of potential violence.

Churches should provide a safe space dealing with emotional, educational and alone, because oftentimes we can feel isolated, especially with technology. for people to discuss their fears. Take mental health, as well as students who I think kids are craving connection… have difficulties.” special care to avoid making anyone they’re so used to not navigating feel their faith is weak. Hennis says, relational communication. I think they really want to learn how to play. A lot of kids that are now in middle school, they missed some very fundamental developmental stages of socializing during COVID-19.” and the kids can see that the local church is present. It’s a good reminder.”

“It helps them feel their feelings are valid. Give the students a place to share without hearing, ‘You shouldn’t be afraid.’ That can be hurtful when someone is really struggling with anxiety.” You can also make sure each student connects with a trusted adult in their school who they can go to if they need support.

Laura Buchanan works for UMC.org at United Methodist Communications.

Meadowcreek UMC provides backpacks for students in Collinsville schools.

Some of the backpacks from last year are pictured here. Submitted photo.

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The Oklahoma United Methodist Contact

September 11, 2024

Finding a Rhythm Oklahomans welcoming Bishop Merrill across the state

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ince her arrival in Oklahoma ten days ago, Bishop Laura Merrill has already been very busy finding a rhythm, meeting faithful leaders across the state, and learning about our diverse state and two sister conferences.

She has preached in a local church and at Oklahoma City University.

She is preparing to make her way around the state with Communities Impacting Poverty events. She has dined with the conference staff and spent time exploring Oklahoma City.

She’s been interviewed for a television spot and recorded a podcast. And it’s just beginning!

Onboarding She spent her first two full days with the cabinets of both conferences (Oklahoma Indian Missionary and Oklahoma) in a process called Onboarding. It was led by Rev. Kim Jenne, director of Connectional Ministry for the Missouri Conference.

Onboarding is a crucial step in

Bishop Merrill, along with women leaders Rev. Valerie Steele, Rev. Kris Maberry, and Rev. Rebekah Belase, addresses over 200 clergy at the Orders and Fellowship Meeting at McFarlin UMC in Norman. Photo by Jinx Barber.

assisting Bishop Merrill integrate into these two conferences while maintaining her work in Arkansas.

During onboarding, participants respond to a number of questions that they would like answered as well as offer thoughts on priorities, vision, and working relationships. After a short break, the Bishop responded to these answers while asking her own questions.

Her experience in Arkansas led her to bring this process to Oklahoma.

The United Methodist-style “onboarding” is the inspiration of lifelong church member Claire Bowen of Atlanta. As a human resources professional, she spent more than 30 years in the corporate world helping newly hired top executives connect with their staffs more quickly by honestly identifying mutual expectations, work-culture quirks and other details.

Retreat at Canyon Camp The OKUMC Cabinet spent three days together in Canyon Camp as a part of the onboarding process.

During this time, they worshipped together, led by Rev. Ginger and Wes Howl. Services included covenant renewal, baptismal remembrance and Holy Communion.

Much of the time was devoted to orienting Bishop Merrill to the changing demographics of the state of Oklahoma, where we have

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September 11, 2024

imagination a little bit. They might be people who are scrapping and scraping to try to meet the needs of their own community, which is not where we live so we don’t see it happen.”

She also lifted up the connectional nature of United Methodist churches throughout the state as a strength of the denomination and a sign of its health.

“My hope lies in the power of the connectional church that is not just a series of franchises with the same sign out front, but a living body where different parts can thrive, but cannot truly thrive, without each other,” she said.

While passing through the Communications department to record a video and a podcast, Bishop Merrill takes a moment to check out the Star Wars-themed office/museum of communications director Carlos Ramirez.

churches and where deserts of United Methodists exist. She learned about clergy statistics and discussed conference initiatives, including the Five Dreams guiding our strategic processes.

Orders and Fellowship Meeting On Tuesday, September 10, over 200 elders, deacons and local pastors gathered at McFarlin UMC in Norman for the fall orders meeting, where they welcomed Bishop Merrill with a video and celebrated Holy Communion.

Preaching from Isaiah 65:17-19, she talked about the optimism of a new day and bright future of United Methodism by highlighting the welcoming and inclusive nature of the United Methodist Church and encouraging those leading churches throughout the state to partner with others in their community who share the message of “hope, grace and

justice.” She said that her hope for the future of the church lies in seeking the point where the power of that message touches those who need it.

“It lies in the hearts of our neighbors, the ones we don’t know yet — who don’t come to our church and who we have to cross the street to meet,” Bishop Merrill said.

“They might be people whose interest could overlap with ours if we just use our

Questions and Answers In a more relaxed style Tuesday afternoon, Bishop Merrill answered

Bishop Merrill addresses the staff at a welcome lunch at the conference center.

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The Oklahoma United Methodist Contact

September 11, 2024

do?”

On clergy: Take care of yourself.

Walk, eat a vegetable, call a friend.

When you feel disconnected, you aren’t the only one. We aren’t intended to do this work alone.

Serve and love and lead your people to do the same. And remember, you are not an infinite resource.

The answer to one question brought much applause. “Who is your least favorite Calvinist theologian?” to which the Bishop replied, “All of them!”

As she concluded her time, she echoed Qoheleth, “This is a time to embrace. I’m grateful. I’m grateful to be here.”

Members of the cabinet pray over Bishop Merrill at the closing of the Cabinet Retreat.

pre-submitted questions from clergy around the state. Chairs of the clergy orders moderated the discussion.

Here are some of her quotes in various categories.

On what brings her passion: The missionary gene. Learning what I don’t know and being a bridge person. Finding the light in one

OIMC Installation On Saturday, the Oklahoma another.

Indian Missionary Conference She further quoted roving listener will host an installation service for De’Amon Harges, “God created us to Bishop Merrill. It begins at 1 p.m., fall in love with each other.” at Lambuth Memorial UMC, 3823 On priorities: I spend my time South Shields. Doors open at 12 p.m. where I think something good is An installation for the Oklahoma going to happen, where my presence Conference is being planned for early will make a difference and it is winter. intentional. I ask, “What’s the thing only I can

Bishop Merrill gets cozy with a sweet baby as she visits with mom Ja’lyn Betts (LEFT) and Rev. Dr. Bessie Hamilton.

Members of the Cabinet hiked up to the cross at sunset with Bishop Merrill during the retreat at Canyon Camp.

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The Oklahoma United Methodist Contact

September 11, 2024

Along with a few visiting friends, Bishop Merrill poses for a group photo with the staff during a welcome lunch at the conference office. Photo by Kyla Powers.

Watering the Earth :

S TA R T W I T H V I S I O N A N D A P U R P O S E

CONTACT US TODAY TO PROVIDE FOR THE MINISTRIES OF YOUR CHURCH AND LASTING GOOD IN YOUR COMMUNITY

OKLAHOMA

METHODIST

F O U N DAT I O N

405-525-6863

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W W W. L AST I N G G O O D.O RG

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The Oklahoma United Methodist Contact

September 11, 2024

Exciting news! A new system will make camp registration a breeze

O

K Camps is thrilled to announce that we are transitioning to a new and improved camp registration system - Campwise!

This change is part of our ongoing commitment to enhancing your experience when registering for our summer camps.

view any outstanding balances for your group and make online payments.

Key Benefits of the New System: Real-Time Access: With your login credentials, you can see who from your church is registered and monitor their status instantly.

Financial Transparency: Easily

Action Needed: Fill out the Contact Information Form by September 15. This will allow us to set up your access and streamline the process for everyone.

To help ensure a smooth transition, we need your updated contact information. Please take a moment to complete our Google Form as soon as possible.

Campers gathered around the campfire at Canyon Camp for Growin’ in Grace camp in 2022. Photo by Tabitha Beckman.

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Experience the freedom you deserve and check out our spacious cottages and beautiful apartments at EpworthVilla.org.

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The Oklahoma United Methodist Contact

September 11, 2024

Retired Clergy Retreat How do you spell "RELIEF"? - How about a 24-hour retreat in beautiful Canyon Camp near Hinton OK with friends from across the Conference?

Time for visiting, resting, & relaxing. Friends, fun, campfire, singing, learning.

Cost per person is $123 for a single, or $76.50 for a double (lodge & 2 meals). Contact Brian Bakeman, registrar, at brian405@prodigy.net with questions.

JOIN US SEPT. 30 - OCT. 1 Thomas Hoffman will speak on two topics: • The 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre • Pilgrimage to Camino de Santiago (The Way of St. James) in Spain

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The Oklahoma United Methodist Contact

September 11, 2024

Call to Action Register for a Communities Impacting Poverty Workshop.

• Enid (Christ UMC) - 3-7 pm, Sunday, Sept. 15 • Tulsa (University UMC) - 3-7 pm, Sunday, Sept. 22 • OKC (Lakeside UMC) - 10 am - 2 pm, Saturday, Oct. 5 • Weatherford - Sunday, 3-7 pm, Oct. 6 • McAlester (First UMC) - 10 am - 2 pm, Saturday, Oct. 12 • Lawton (Centenary UMC) - 3-7 pm, Sunday, Oct. 13 Click here to register.

Please Respond Today: New Camp Registration System!

We’re excited to announce our transition to a new camp registration system, Campwise, offering real-time access to your group’s registrations and financial transparency. To get started, please complete the contact information form as soon as possible to ensure smooth setup. For questions, feel free to reach out!

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