NYU’s Daily Student Newspaper
WASHINGTON SQUARE NEWS Vol. 41, No. 30
MONDAY, APRIL 1, 2013
Insomnia Cookies crumbled by Bloomberg By MAEBY FÜNKE
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced his latest health campaign targeting the notorious freshman 15 weight gain among college students. The new legislation will restrict operating hours of Insomnia Cookies — a popular source of late-night snacking among NYU students — and prevent other stores from selling snacks to college students from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. “The freshman 15 is a legitimate concern of this administration. We have many colleges in the area, and we need to make sure that they are aware of the health implications of their snacking habits,” Bloomberg said in a press conference on Monday. “We have an obligation to ban things that are not good for your health.” The mayor has recently identified several health hazards: large sodas, salt, cigarettes, hospital food and loud earphones. But some argue that this initiative most directly targets college students. “The mayor is simply looking out for the health and well-being of New Yorkers,” said Jo Frost, Bloomberg’s chief health adviser. Coupled with the recent initiative is a social media and poster campaign, paid for by $10 mil-
nyunews.com
Jennifer Lawrence announced as most adorable commencement speaker for class of 2013 By SETH COHEN
Following months of intense speculation, NYU spokesman CJ Cregg announced yesterday that Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Lawrence would be the speaker at commencement for the class of 2013. “It was an exhaustive selection process,” Cregg said in an official statement. “We narrowed down a list of several dozen nominees at the top of their fields, but we kept return-
ing to one name: J-Law. “And I mean, c’mon, she was adorable at the Oscars,” she said. Lawrence, known for her star-turning roles in the television series “Monk” and Mel Gibson’s feature film “The Beaver,” seemed like an obvious choice, according to a survey of every male member of the NYU community. “Clearly you would want a speaker of your age, someone who hasn’t had to go to college, to tell you how life really
is,” said Gallatin sophomore Dakota Fanning. Cregg also said Lawrence was not the university’s first choice. “We originally planned to have every possible option fight in Washington Square Park for the honor,” Cregg said. “Robert De Niro, a real New Yorker, was our first choice,” she said. “But, when we had the entire cast of ‘Silver Linings Playbook’ present to interview, and she shot
LAWRENCE continued on PG. 3
BOBSTer Egg Hunt reveals true NYU expansion plans
GRAPHIC BY BEYONCÉ KNOWLES/WSN
Lawrence promised to giggle at least twice in her speech.
CHUCK KUAN/WSN
With Information provided only by an anonymous Facebook page, the first annual BOBSTer Egg Hunt took a turn for the strange. The eggs, which were presumably filled with candy, turned out to actually contain full, comprehensive plans for NYU President John Sexton’s 2031 plan.
COOKIES continued on PG. 3
INSIDE THIS ISSUE: STRUGGLES WITH SECESSION:
After impatience during a vote of no confidence, the Stern School of Business plans to secede from NYU. COURTESY OF NYU
SECEDE on PG. 4
NO CONFIDENCE IN EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
In a mutinous statement, the editorial board reveals reasons behind the WSN no-confidence vote. HOUSE on PG. 7
Sexton replaces Leno on ‘Tonight Show’ By MALCOLM REYNOLDS
NYU President John Sexton has been selected from a highly competitive field of candidates to replace Jay Leno on “The Tonight Show,” NBC announced today. “The problem with Leno is that much of America sees him as a conceited and rapidly aging irrelevant celebrity who is costing far more money than he is worth,” an NBC spokesperson said. “We’re convinced that Sexton’s youth and reputation for financial restraint make him a perfect replacement.” However, the move hasn’t been met with the same level of adulation by others at NBC. One NBC
executive, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, took a far less rosy view of Sexton’s appointment. “We shot a screen test with him, and it was a disaster,” the executive said. “It was like he had to hug everyone in the room before he could even begin his opening monologue. And then the monologue began, and he just started rambling on about baseball. He still wasn’t done 20 minutes later.” Sexton’s plans to change the form of “The Tonight Show” have also been met with criticism. The host plans to turn the show into a global franchise at enormous cost to shareholders, starting with “The Tonight Show Abu Dhabi,”
premiering this September. Early projections indicate the program will draw in literally a dozen viewers, making it one of NBC’s top-rated programs. Sexton spoke in defense of the scheme at a press conference this morning. “It’s important that we keep moving forward and make sure that we can adapt to a rapidly changing world,” he said. Sexton then disappeared before anyone could ask him what his statement meant. Malcolm Reynolds is captain of the Serenity. Email him at arts@nyunews.com.