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Film Reviews Editor’s note: Santa Maria 10 (805-347-1164) films and show times were unavailable at press time. PHOTO COURTESY OF TUCKER TOOLEY ENTERTAINMENT
ALL PART OF THE SHOW? A masked killer torments a theme park, leaving attendees to question whether it’s all part of the show, in Hell Fest.
HELL FEST
What’s it rated? R What’s it worth? Stream it Where’s it showing? Santa Maria Stadium 14, Arroyo Grande Stadium 10 Gregory Plotkin (Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension) directs this horror film about a masked killer tormenting a themed amusement park. Is it all part of the show, or are people really dying? There’s a mildly intriguing concept trapped inside of the wildly un-intriguing snooze fest that is Hell Fest. A group of young adults visit a horror themed carnival and find themselves prey to a masked serial killer disguised as a staff actor. Whether or not you’ve been to events in the same vein—Mid-State Scare or Universal Studios’ Halloween Horror Nights, for example—the idea of a real killer masquerading as part of the show is terrifying. Unfortunately, the premise never lives up to its potential, and the only thing I found myself dreading throughout the film was yawning to the point of cramps. Amy Forsyth (Channel Zero: No-End House) plays Natalie, more of a place-card holder than a character. The only three things we ever learn about her are revealed through dialogue in the first 10 minutes, and all three involve fellow place-card holders: She used to be roommates with Brooke (Regina Edwards, The Bold and the Beautiful), has a major beef with Brooke’s new roommate Taylor (Bex Taylor-Klaus, The Killing, Arrow), and has a massive crush on Gavin (Roby Attal). The crush is mutual according to Brooke, who gossips about Gavin, who’s constantly pestering her about whether
FILM REVIEWS continued page 41
SCORING
FULL PRICE ...It’s worth the full price of an evening showing MATINEE..........Save a few bucks, catch an afternoon showing RENT IT...........It’s worth a rental STREAM IT.....Wait ’til Netflix has it NOTHING ........Don’t waste your time
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Smallfilm
PHOTO COURTESY OF WARNER BROS.
K
arey Kirkpatrick (Over the Hedge) and Jason Reisig co-direct this animated adventure comedy about Migo (voiced by Channing Tatum), a Yeti who believes the mythical creatures known as “humans” really do exist. When he encounters a human named Percy Patterson (voiced by James Corden), the legend becomes real. (96 min.) Glen: I probably shouldn’t review animated films. Most of them seem silly to me, and Smallfoot is no different. Sure, the premise is “cute,” but there’s not much substance here, and what is here seems like a strange message for its targeted PG audience. The film opens with a sweeping musical number about the happy Yeti village. Migo loves his ice- and rock-filled paradise, and he’s training to replace his father, Dorgle (Danny DeVito), as the village gong ringer, a venerated position since the “Light GENTLE GIANT? Migo (voiced by Channing Tatum) takes a leap of faith to discover if humans really exist, sowing discord in his Yeti village. Snail” (aka the sun) won’t cross the sky if the gong doesn’t ring. Every morning, Dorgle is interpreted that way. I doubt this one is going to exploit him. Will your 10-year-old “get” either launched via a giant slingshot headfirst into the message? Probably not, but there are a few take over kids’ worlds the way Frozen did, and for metal gong, then the Light Snail illuminates the cloying musical numbers to distract, and a lot of good reason, but your young ones may enjoy the Yeti world. It’s one of dozens of primitive myths color and action throughout. I may not be the colorful Yeti story nonetheless. I think once you and laws that Yetis must follow. The maker of right audience, but your kids probably are, and venture much past 8- or 9-year-olds though, the the laws is the Stonekeeper (Common), the Yeti that’s the idea, right? charm will fade. Save this one for the little guys leader who settles all disputes by conferring Anna: Unlike you, I really like tons of animated and gals. with the stones, upon which hieroglyphs are films. I grew up on them and to this day love a well Glen: Eventually, Migo returns to the village written. They’re the evidence that the Yeti done one—especially if the voice actors deliver with Percy, proving once and for all that village floats on clouds and that below them outstanding performances. While Smallfoot has Smallfoot exists. However, a lie repeated enough is nothingness. The stones also state that a certain charm, it lacks a really solid storyline, times can become truth, and to save the Yeti Smallfoot doesn’t exist, so and while some of the musical village from descending into stone-rejecting when Migo overshoots the numbers are catchy, most were chaos, the Stonekeeper decides to show Migo SMALLFOOT gong on a practice try and, groan-inducing and felt like “The Secret,” taking him to a cave with wall What’s it rated? PG far from the village, sees a time fillers. Channing Tatum paintings showing fighting and fear between What’s it worth, Anna? Stream it plane crash and a parachuting is a fun, energetic Migo, but Smallfoot and the Yetis that existed before the What’s it worth, Glen? Stream it Smallfoot survivor, he rushes my favorite character has to be Yetis retreated to the top of the Himalayas. The (unless you’re 10 or so) back to the village to tell his flat-headed dad who’s short stones keep the Yetis ignorant but also safe, Where’s it showing? Movies Lompoc, everyone that Smallfoot exists and round—just like DeVito warning them not to go down to Smallfoot Parks Plaza and that the stone claiming himself. The Stonekeeper is a territory. Migo decides he’ll go along with The they don’t is—gasp!—wrong! no-nonsense tough guy with a Secret and goes before the village and claims This is tantamount to heresy, and Migo is pretty daughter and a big dumb brute of a son. Percy is a kind of yak and that Smallfoot doesn’t banished until he’s ready to admit he didn’t When Migo announces his Smallfoot sighting, the exist after all. Meanwhile, Percy is suffering see a Smallfoot. Essentially, the film’s a subtle Stonekeeper quickly dismisses the notion and tells from altitude sickness, and Meechee and her indictment of religion that controls the everyone to go back to their safe, unquestioning Smallfoot-believing society aren’t willing to lives. However, a few of the Yetis are part of a masses, demands ignorance, and condemns continue living in ignorance, so she takes Percy secret Smallfoot-believing faction, and soon critical thinking. There’s also a side message below the clouds. Now both humans and Yetis Migo himself is part of the group headed up by about how it’s wrong to sensationalize and are forced to confront their coexistence, but the Stonekeeper’s daughter Meechee (Zendaya). exploit—Percy Patterson is a nature filmmaker that doesn’t mean they can actually coexist. The message the film is ultimately trying to sell with rock-bottom ratings. He’s willing to lie Mayhem ensues and fear runs rampant. Will isn’t a bad one. It’s important to question and seek about finding a Yeti to generate more viewers. truths, and whether it’s meant to be an indictment When he “discovers” Migo, he has to learn SUN SCREEN continued page 41 of religion, I don’t know. It certainly can be the hard lesson that it’s better to protect than
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