Spring 2018 www.nrvc.net | Volume 43, Number 2
Emotional health | Vow of obedience 3 The psychological tasks of emerging adults By Father David Songy, O.F.M. Cap. 7
Working with candidates who are sexual abuse survivors By Sister Cindy Kaye, R.S.M.
12 Obedience: showing up and listening for God By Sister Mary Pellegrino, C.S.J.
17 How we see the vow of obedience By Father Daniel P. Horan, O.F.M. Sister Julia Walsh, F.S.P.A. Sister Judith Schaefer, O.P. 23 Five tips to up your communication game By Miranda M. Caulkins 26 Book notes Young voices brim with insight By Sister Katarina Schuth, O.S.F.
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Institute of Religious Formation Empowering formation leaders for a global Church. ctu.edu The Institute of Religious Formation (IRF) at Catholic Theological Union in Chicago provides a unique, holistic program for diocesan and religious formation directors. With 35 years of experience and more than 1,700 graduates, IRF is a trusted source in formation preparation. Learn more online at: ctu.edul/RF
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A GRADUATE SCHOOL OF THEOLOGY AND MINISTRY
Editor’s Note HORIZON Editor Carol Schuck Scheiber Proofreaders Sister Mary Ann Hamer, O.S.F.; Virginia Piecuch Editorial Advisory Board Margaret Cartwright; Father Charles Johnson, O.P.; Sister Elaine Penrice, F.S.P.; Sister Elyse Ramirez, O.P.; Sister Mary Rowell, C.S.J.; Jennifer Tomshack Page Designer Patrice J. Tuohy © 2018, National Religious Vocation Conference. HORIZON is published quarterly by TrueQuest Communications on behalf of the National Religious Vocation Conference, 5401 South Cornell Avenue, Suite 207, Chicago, IL 60615-5664. 773-363-5454 | nrvc@nrvc.net | nrvc.net Facebook: Horizon vocation journal Twitter: @HORIZONvocation SUBSCRIPTIONS Additional subscriptions are $50 each for NRVC members; $125 each for non-members. Single copies are $25 each. Subscribe online at www.nrvc.net/ signup_horizon. Please direct subscription inquiries to Marge Argyelan at the NRVC office at 773-363-5454 or margyelan@nrvc.net. POSTMASTER Send address changes to HORIZON, 5401 S. Cornell Ave., Suite 207, Chicago, IL 60615-5664. Periodicals postage paid at Chicago, IL and Toledo, OH. ISSN 1042-8461, Pub. # 744-850. REPRINTS, ARCHIVES, ELECTRONIC EDITIONS Permission is granted to distribute no more than 50 copies of HORIZON articles for noncommercial use. Please use the following credit line: Reprinted with permission from HORIZON, nrvc.net. For other types of reprints, please contact the editor at cscheiber@nrvc.net. HORIZON archives, including files for mobile readers, can be accessed by subscribers at nrvc.net. EDITORIAL INQUIRIES & ADVERTISING All editorial inquiries should be directed to the editor: Carol Schuck Scheiber, cscheiber@nrvc.net. For advertising rates and deadlines, see nrvc.net or contact the editor.
Shared experiences
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HEN MY YOUNGEST SON barely passed a few quizzes and tests in his freshman engineering classes, he panicked at this new experience of academic failure. However he soon found that every engineer he talked to recalled similar experiences, which made him feel better: it wasn’t just him! It must be universal that we are reassured when others have suffered as we have, that our experiences are not isolated incidents. That sense of common experience runs through our articles on both emotional health and obedience. Father David Songy, O.F.M. Cap. points out that young adulthood has challenges and milestones that almost everyone faces; your discerners are not the only ones dealing with identity or sexuality issues. Sister Cindy Kaye, R.S.M. notes that sexual abuse survivors share similar perspectives about how the vocation process can contribute to healing. Likewise all our writers on the vow of obedience have found a richer understanding of the vow by looking at the importance of listening. Their common experience has been that mutual listening—between God and them, between their community and them—led to better decisions and toward a form of obedience they understand and embrace. As I write this, my son is in his final month of freshman engineering. The tests are still hard, but he’s learned how to prepare for and take them. I wish the same for HORIZON readers. May the common threads illuminated here help you be better ministers! —Carol Schuck Scheiber, editor
HORIZON is an award-winning journal for vocation ministers and those who support a robust future for religious life. It is published quarterly by TrueQuest Communications on behalf of the National Religious Vocation Conference. NATIONAL RELIGIOUS VOCATION CONFERENCE BOARD Brother Ronald Hingle, S.C., Board chair Father Toby Collins, C.R. Sister Gayle Lwanga Crumbley, R.G.S. Sister Anna Marie Espinosa, I.W.B.S. Sister Virginia Herbers, A.S.C.J. Father Charles Johnson, O.P.
Sister Lisa Laguna, D.C. Father Adam MacDonald, S.V.D. Sister Kristin Matthes, S.N.D.deN. Sister Belinda Monahan, O.S.B. Sister Priscilla Moreno, R.S.M. Sister Anita Quigley, S.H.C.J.
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Updates
Photo by Sister Deborah Borneman, SS.C.M.
NRVC convocation in November features top speakers, pre-event workshops Four accomplished speakers will be giving presentations at the November 1-5 NRVC convocation in Buffalo, New York. In addition seasoned professionals will present workshops on November 1, prior to the evening opening of the convocation. Cardinal Joseph Tobin, C.Ss.R. will preside at the convocation’s opening Mass. CONVOCATION SPEAKERS Father Kevin DePrinzio, O.S.A., Ph.D., theology professor at Villanova University, will speak on “The Vocation Encounter: Ministry at the Beautiful Gate.”
Participants in a Summer Institute workshop take part in an exercise.
NRVC Summer Institute set for Chicago Online registration has begun for the following Summer Institute workshops, taking place at DePaul University’s downtown Chicago campus. Visit nrvc.net for details. Orientation Program for New Vocation Directors, by Sister Deborah Borneman, SS.C.M.; Father Adam MacDonald, S.V.D.; and Brother Chris Patiño, F.S.C., July 10-14
Sister Xiomara Méndez Hernández, O.P., hospital chaplain at Loyola University Health System, will speak on “The Invitation: Mutual Encounter, Mutual Accompaniment.” Hosffman Ospino, Ph.D., theology professor at Boston College, will present, “Called to Accompany God’s People in a Time of Paradigm Changes.” Sister Mary Pellegrino, C.S.J., congregational moderator for the Sisters of St. Joseph of Baden, Pennsylvania and former vocation director, will present, “Living No Longer for Ourselves: Communion as Vocation.” PRE-CONVOCATION WORKSHOPS
Behavioral Assessment 1, by Father Raymond P. Carey, Ph.D., July 16-18
Finding your Digital Balance and Reducing Social Media Stress, by Crystal Taylor-Dietz, Psy.D.
The Assessment of Family of Orig+in Issues for Candidates to Religious Life, by Father Gerard McGlone, S.J., Ph.D., July 16-18
Issues of Civil, Canon, and Immigration Law in Vocation Ministry, by Miguel Naranjo and Sister Deborah M. Cerullo, S.S.N.D.
Ethical Issues in Vocation and Formation Ministry, by Father Raymond P. Carey, Ph.D., July 20-21
Return on Investment: Grace or Grim?, by Father James Greenfield, O.S.F.S., Ph.D. and Father Kevin Nadolski, O.S.F.S.
Developing Intercultural Competencies in Screening and Assessment, by Father Gerard McGlone, S.J., Ph.D. July 20-21 2 | HORIZON | Spring 2018
Screening Yellow and Red Flags in Candidate Assessment, by Eran Talitman, Ph.D. Updates
Photo: Mazur/catholicchurch.org.uk
Young people considering their calling do so while also dealing with normal psychological development issues. Pictured here are young people in England taking part in a meeting to prepare for the 2018 bishops synod on youth, faith, and vocational discernment.
The psychological tasks of emerging adults
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OON AFTER THE INITIAL CONTACT with a twenty-something vocation prospect, a vocation director often discovers that this is not the candidate’s “first stop.” In fact, the person may have contacted several other dioceses or communities and even engaged in a period of formation elsewhere before concluding that those were not the right fit. Also unsettling, though not uncommon, is learning that a prospect has a lengthy history of sexual relationships, as well as inconsistent educational and career choices. The level of apparent immaturity in many candidates can seem an odd contrast to their outward vocational enthusiasm. How does a vocation director help a prospect grappling with typical young adult developmental issues to engage fully in a process of vocation discernment? And what are the normal adult development issues for people in young adulthood? Songy | Psychological Tasks
What’s happening psychologically to people in their 20s and 30s? And how do those concerns affect vocation discernment?
By Father David Songy, O.F.M. Cap. Father David Songy, O.F.M. Cap. is president of St. Luke Institute of Silver Spring, Maryland. He holds a doctorate in psychology and has extensive experience working with clergy and religious, including integrated psychological and spiritual treatment, multicultural candidate assessments, and initial and ongoing formation. He has given workshops on a range of psychological issues, including a workshop for NRVC on behavioral addictions.
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Perhaps a caveat is in order here. When speaking about “normal” adult development issues, it is impossible to discuss adequately the variety of cultural differences in developmental norms. It is important for a vocation director to consult someone knowledgeable about the patterns of development within a specific culture. While the research underlying the work of the authors I will reference was conducted with a broad population base in the U.S., to generalize this information to all candidates would not be wise.
Emerging adulthood Contemporary psychologists now refer to ages 18-25 as emerging adulthood. In some cultures, and until recently in the United States, adult status normally was achieved in one’s early 20s. In the U.S. “adult” generally means a person has an established career, has made Many people in a clear vocational choice emerging adulthood (such as marriage, prieststruggle with the hood or religious life), has fact that they desire gained financial stability to be a certain way (owning or leasing a home but are not. and paying for one’s own expenses), and has formed a mature self-identity. However, a distinct period of emerging adulthood is now more evident. This is due in part to a tendency by today’s parents to provide emotional and financial support for their children throughout college and beyond. Young adults are no longer as financially and socially accountable in their 20s as they used to be and can spend money, study, and opt to engage in a variety of relationships or career paths without facing the consequences of a full-status adult. Jeffrey J. Arnett describes five features of this newly identified developmental period in Emerging Adulthood: A Theory of Development from the Late Teens through the Twenties: identity exploration, instability (frequent moves), self-focus, feeling in between (neither adolescent nor adult), and optimism. Insights by Arnett and others into developmental issues of the emerging adult are important for a vocation director to consider. Young people are exploring their identity, engaging in relationships, making (or not making) commitments, and pursuing vocations in a manner more reflective of current worldly norms than principles of Christian discernment. Helping prospects respond to 4 | HORIZON | Spring 2018
a vocational calling during this stage requires an ability to augment the lessons of society with wisdom regarding the nature of mature Christian development.
Identity exploration In emerging adulthood identity development moves from a self-centered focus to a broader understanding of self in relation to others. People mature in self-understanding, self-discipline and the desire to live a purposeful life. They come to know and understand themselves through greater self-reflection, recognizing particular traits and personal qualities, patterns of thought and emotion, values, interests, and dreams. They are no longer blind to weaknesses, sinful inclinations, limitations, and sources of frustration. The mature person owns a particular perspective and is also able to accept that there are other valid points of view. A person with a mature identity reaches beyond selfunderstanding to self-discipline, and strives to behave in a manner consistent with self-understanding. If, for example, I value prayer, then I pray. If I see myself as a man of communion, I endeavor to live in communion with others. Many people in emerging adulthood struggle with the fact that they desire to be a certain way but are not; vocation directors often hear the frustrated assertion, “But this is what I want to be!” Emerging adults can be overly self-focused. W. Andrew Collins and Manfred van Dulmen in “Friendships and Romance in Emerging Adulthood: Assessing Distinctiveness in Close Relationships,” suggest that the following thought may not be uncommon: “Given the kind of person I am, what kinds of persons do I wish to affiliate with?” Some vocational prospects can be highly critical of an order or seminary for not conforming to their own vision of what religious life or priesthood should be like. The process of identity exploration is not easy. Many young people experience this period as a time of instability. Years ago, a four-year college degree was such a time of exploration. The date of a future profession of vows or ordination could be planned with confidence. Today vocation directors are seeing individuals who have completed a year or two in a couple of different colleges and majored in several subjects. Many in this generation need assistance in career development. Emerging adulthood is also an age of feeling “inbetween.” Unlike rebellious teenagers, this group begins to appreciate their parents’ sacrifice and experience them as individuals with their own identity. However they also Songy | Psychological Tasks
Photo by Jeremy Brooks
still are relying heavily on them for financial support. Finally, a mature identity includes a purpose or intentionality in living. A person is not merely an individual but a person living among others, who constructs life plans and formulates dreams. In speaking with emerging adults about their future, vocation directors need to ask prospects to articulate an identity. They might ask questions such as, “What is important to you as a person? Why? What is it about you that suggests you fit in this particular vocation?” Applicants need to able to articulate how their behaviors are consistent with their values.
Relationships and sexuality Intimate relationships during emerging adulthood still somewhat resemble the more emotionally driven relationships of adolescence, but as they mature, young adults exhibit an increasing ability to care for the good of the other. Emerging adults begin to integrate relationships according to the various aspects of their life, and they enjoy more diverse relationships. This has both positive and negative consequences. For example emerging adults often prefer transitory relationships. Since there is no rush to marry, they engage in romantic friendships with a variety of partners. Many want to obtain a broad range of experiences before committing to a particular choice. From a purely physiological perspective, this partly is due to the high salience of sexual experiences with different people. From a developmental perspective, it is attributed to societal pressure to begin dating at an early age while committing to marriage only at a later age. Unfortunately, many young adults engage in irresponsible sexual behavior. On the positive side, emerging adults learn to relate maturely with a variety of people, and, unlike teenagers, who may act one way with parents and quite differently with peers, they show a consistent self to others. Some emerging adults begin to explore sexual orientation more openly and often choose this time to “come out” to family and friends. Because it may be difficult to know whether the person really identifies with a particular orientation as a result of mature identity achievement, it is important that a vocation director be sensitive when discussing such issues. Relationships may be transitory. A person may be growing in self-understanding. Discussing a relationship history is essential for vocation directors. This includes exploring a person’s understanding of the nature of interpersonal relationships Songy | Psychological Tasks
Friendships and dating may be transitory for emerging adults, but they also tend to become more mature relationships.
and whether he or she is open to a vocation that will involve a variety of relationships lived in the context of the Kingdom of God. A person who cannot maturely relate to others ought not pursue religious life.
Ongoing identity development While a permanent vocational choice seems the ideal in many ways, in a society that permits changes in “permanent” commitments, those responsible for vocational discernment need to recognize the importance of deepening a person’s original calling over time and after perpetual promises have been made. In their article, “Identity Development in the Late Twenties: A Never Ending Story,” Carlsson, Wängqvist, and Frisén suggest that “a coherent sense of identity is created through the construction of a life story that connects individuals’ memories of past experiences with their present and with their imagined future in meaningful ways.” In other words, identity development is ongoing and continues after one becomes an adult and makes a vocational commitment. The researchers propose that an openness to changing life conditions, engaging in meaning making, and developing a personal life direction help an achieved identity continue to mature. Spring 2018 | HORIZON | 5
Carlsson, Wängqvist, and Frisén contrast identity diffusion with identity achievement and suggest ways to ensure mature, ongoing identity development. People who have a weak vocational commitment and engage in little exploration of their identity experience identity diffusion. Those who have a strong commitment, based on active exploration of their identity, experience identity achievement. There are two other variations of these dynamics. Those who have a strong commitment but have done little exploration of their identity experience foreclosure. An example is a person who quickly opts to join a religious community without exploring whether it is a true fit. Finally, moratorium refers to someone who has a weak commitment but active exploration of his or her identity. Identity moratorium can be seen in the person who discusses a possible vocation with a variety of communities without committing to one. The vocation director needs to ascertain a prospect’s experience of identity development, keeping in mind that initial formation is a process of identity achievement within a particular vocation and that ongoing identity achievement takes place in the context of ongoing formation.
Identity and vocation From the perspective of Christian anthropology, a person is not simply an individual. Contemporary psychological literature on human development, largely influenced by modern philosophy, focuses on the individual, acknowledging the importance of interpersonal relationships but emphasizing the mature identity development of the individual. Christian theology focuses on identity as it occurs in the context of communion with others. A vocation is not only a call to ministry or a way of life (similar to a career), but to an identity involving life-giving relationships. In marriage two people love and find purpose in each other. In priesthood a man loves the church herself, composed of many souls. Religious life is a commitment to a communal identity and relationships, bearing fruit through prayerful intercession and ministry to others. The vocation director has a unique opportunity to help emerging adults achieve a mature identity that emphasizes a personal, relational quality. Young people can be encouraged to recognize the inherent loneliness of a life driven only by a desire for individual fulfillment and instead to embrace God’s invitation to a life in communion. The vocation director can be the prophetic 6 | HORIZON | Spring 2018
voice, inviting people not only to a mature, stable, adult identity, but also to the fruitfulness of Christian discipleship. He or she can reframe the enthusiastic questions of a candidate who is seeking an individual ideal and suggest that the candidate reflect on seeing him or herself growing alongside others. Candidates might reflect on how they relate to others, how they value being in communion, and whether they find this challenging. Asking about experiences of discommunion and how candidates deal with conflict can reveal underlying attitudes toward relationships. As each emerging adult learns to focus more on donation of self to another, questions about right fit will become secondary and perhaps even fade out of the picture. Instead of questioning, “Does this community fit me?” or, “Do I fit into the community,” the focus becomes, “How can I be of service to this community?”, “Do I feel called to love others according to this charism?” and, “Do I see myself as a person in communion with others?” Vocation directors who appreciate the process of development in emerging adults can help young prospects face maturation challenges, since healthy human formation underlies solid spiritual formation. Many youth recognize that they are overly selffocused but do not know how to turn away from this behavior. Encouraging them to consider others, especially the poor and needy, can bring new energy and purpose. This is why young people respond well to opportunities for serving others and giving witness to their experience of faith. Vocation directors should encourage prospects in self-discipline so their behaviors may be consistent with their values. They can ask candidates to consider their history of commitments—mostly tentative —and invite them to be open to a permanent commitment. The beauty of the Christian faith is evident in the church’s approach to human development, especially as applied to emerging adults. While society may encourage individuals to delay personal commitment to pursue personal dreams, the church encourages youth to come out of this selfish phase of life and embrace their true identity—persons in communion, each with a vocation that will lead to a fruitful Christian life. n
Further reading “The things they carry: burdens and blessings of emerging adults today,” by Avis Clendenon, HORIZON, Spring 2009.
Songy | Psychological Tasks
Religious communities can be part of the healing process for candidates who have experienced sexual abuse.
Working with candidates who are sexual abuse survivors
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EXUAL ABUSE IS TRAUMATIZING, and it is an experience that all too many people carry with them when they begin discerning religious life. The way that a vocation and formation process deals with this issue with candidates matters a great deal. It can contribute to or undermine healing. When healing takes place, both the community and the candidate will be the stronger for it. The following article is drawn from my doctoral dissertation, completed in 2017, which examined apostolic religious sisters, under age 65, who experienced sexual abuse prior to age 18. Two questions guided my work: How does being part of a Catholic religious community of sisters contribute to or undermine healing from early life sexual abuse? And how did the sisters’ initial years in formation contribute to or undermine healing from such abuse? To gather information I conducted two-to-three hour interviews with 11 sisters from across the United States. In this article I focus on the Kaye | Sexual Abuse Survivors
By Sister Cindy Kaye, R.S.M. Sister Cindy Kaye, R.S.M. served as a vocation minister for the Sisters of Mercy for seven years. In addition she has conducted behavioral assessments and presented workshops on vocation themes. She recently completed a doctorate in psychology and does forensic and school assessments for Jackson Psychological Services in Jackson, Tennessee.
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responses of these women in relation to their formative years and how the typical eight years of formation contributed to or undermined healing from early life sexual abuse.
Frequency of abuse, community response in the past Unfortunately sexual abuse experiences among those entering religious life are not rare. A nationwide survey published in 1998 by John Chibnall, Ann Wolf, and Paul Duckro found that among Catholic sisters, 18.6 percent reported sexual trauma prior to age 18, with a lifetime prevalence of 30 percent. While some studies indicate that closer to 50 percent of sisters have experienced early life sexual abuse, it remains unclear if abuse would be reported by all sisters. To date no studies have been discovered that document the extent of male religious or clergy who experienced early life sexual abuse. However psychotherapist and writer Richard Gartner reports that by age 16 one in six boys in America has had unwanted sex with an adult or older child. That finding indicates that a sizable number of candidates to men’s communities may carry this difficult experience with them. While the specific literature related to healing from early life sexual abuse in Catholic religious communities is sparse, studies have identified potential sources of healing, including social support from communal living and the pursuit of scholarship, both of which can provide a sense of purpose to members of Catholic religious communities. Author Gigi Wahba, writing for Communities, describes the importance of community to any healing process; communal settings compel members to acknowledge how their words and actions impact others. When this impact is realized, and genuine support and compassion are offered, healing happens. While social isolation can take place in a communal living environment, Wahba notes that it is usually temporary and concludes that overall, the atmosphere of community life offers containment and recognition that allows for healing and general well-being for community members. Trauma expert and scholar Gary Behrman studied 12 sisters over age 65 who experienced early life sexual abuse. His 2009 report showed that sisters differed in their responses to experiences of community life. While all the sisters reported unwelcome effects of sexual abuse, Behrman found differences in the sisters’ relationship to community life. The majority of Behrman’s participants entered religious life after high school at ages 17-20 and 8 | HORIZON | Spring 2018
were part of larger cohorts of sisters than those in my study. The women in Behrman’s study were restricted by rules of silence and an imposed horarium, which allowed them few choices and little self-direction. They had minimal opportunities for intimate friendships. Consequently early on in community life, these sisters had nowhere to speak of their experiences of sexual abuse and often used default patterns of protection, silence, and secrecy to cope with their trauma. Nonetheless some of Behrman’s participants did note that in their middle years religious life provided opportunities to engage in therapy, dialog groups, or psychoeducational experiences. Thus, later in life, some sisters experienced community support while others reported feelings of isolation, low skills for self-care and intimate friendships, and difficulties with those in authority. The 11 participants in my 2017 study entered their current religious communities between ages 20 and 45. Seven participants received therapeutic interventions prior to entering their current communities; three participants began their therapeutic process during formation, and one participant entered her community with no previous therapeutic intervention. Ten of the 11 participants in my study have disclosed to their current communities their experiences of early life sexual abuse. In dialog with her therapist, one participant chose not to disclose her experience of abuse to her current community. All 11 participants have lived in their current communities an average of 24.5 years, with the range being 10-37 years.
Strong vocation and formation programs make a difference One theme brought up by every person in my study was the need for a comprehensive vocation and formation program. The study participants had various experiences during their formative years. Each participant agreed that current vocation and formation programs need to be in alignment with contemporary times, be spiritually and socially mature, and provide grounding in theology and scripture. They also felt the vocation and formation process should require experiences that develop cultural competence. For the participants “culture” meant going beyond race and ethnicity and to include childhood experiences, age at entrance, years and broadness of life experience, socioeconomic status, past religious affiliation, opportunity for education, and sexual orientation. The vocation and formation programs of the 11 interviewees varied widely in scope and emphasis. The Kaye | Sexual Abuse Survivors
following three samples give an idea of the range—and show how much variation existed in allowing candidates to deal with their abuse in a healthy way. • When I entered in 1982 at age 22 years, we did not take psychological tests or visit a psychologist prior to entrance. I wrote an autobiography which did not ask about sexual experience or abuse. I did not realize then or until much later when I was in my 30s, and I was in community for a number of years, that I had been sexually abused. I had no therapy. I did not even know what therapy was back then. I did not discern with a spiritual director or vocation minister in a formal way. The vocation minister was more about getting people to join than learning about who was joining. My formation was not structured. We studied the vows but had little information on celibacy or sexuality. Formation was more about our flaws than human development or sexuality, something that would have been helpful. Nothing and no one of us was ever good enough. All about flaws. • I wrote an autobiography and did the testing process with a psychologist. I talked with the psychologist and vocation minister together about my sexual abuse history. Now this was in the mid-1980s. The psychologist suggested that I wait to enter religious life and begin intensive therapy. We talked about my confusion in relationships, my inability to read cues well, and that I was not on good terms with my family, so these were issues. The formation directors argued that it is difficult to heal alone. I had minimal financial resources and few stable people in my life. Somewhere my vocation minister saw potential in me. The vocation and formation directors got approval from the leadership team to allow me to begin formation and a healing process simultaneously, with the support of the community. This was humbling for me that a group of unrelated women would invest in me in this way. I learned a lot from the testing, and then with the help of my formation director and the psychologist, I created personal goals and formation goals. I lived in community, served in ministry, prayed daily with the sisters and at Mass, and continued with therapy and healing. I was held in this sacred and supportive space for nine years. It was a tough but very producKaye | Sexual Abuse Survivors
OrientatiOn tO FOrmatiOn An orientation for understanding and approaching the ministry of formation for those who are preparing for and/or serving in the ministry of formation and for leaders who oversee their congregation/province formation processes. Presenters: Helen Cahill, OP & Henry Beck, OFM
October 12-14, 2018 Catholic Theological Union | Chicago, IL
REGISTER ONLINE! WWW.RELFORCON.ORG
tive nine years. While a few years have passed, I remain indebted to those women, [vocation and formation directors] who saw deeper into me than I was able to at the time. I’ve now been in community for almost 30 years. I teach and just received my master’s degree. I am blessed. • I took the Religious Perceiver test, which was given by the vocation director. About 60 questions maybe. This was in the mid 1980s. No formal psychological testing [was done]. I needed three letters of recommendation and I took the Myers-Briggs. I got a physical, eye, and dental exams. The vocation director helped me with my financials and with what I needed to do with my condo, car, and all of that but did no real digging into my personal life. She did ask about my work history. Maybe I got credit for being self-supporting and older. So in short, my community knows nothing about my history of sexual abuse. I’m okay with that. Despite the wide variation in their entrance processes, 10 of 11 sisters from my study disclosed sexual Spring 2018 | HORIZON | 9
abuse during their time of vocation discernment. One sister remained firm that she not bring her past into her present community.
Prepare vocation and formation directors A second theme that emerged among all the participants in my study relates to the preparedness of the vocation and formation directors to appropriately discuss a sexual abuse disclosure. Most of us have experienced an awkward moment where we shared a story, experience, or seemingly profound insight only to have it misconstrued, misunderstood, or twisted. It may have gone flat with minimal or no response; or worse, it may have angered or offended someone. Depending on our psychic strength, we may allow that reaction to roll off our backs and An inquirer who has chalk it up as an “oops.” experienced sexual We might find humor in abuse and is relating it, apologize, feel deeply what happened is vulnerable, remain silent, telling a profound story. or refrain from speakThe way this story is ing spontaneously in received and responded front of another. In this way we have initiated to will allow or disallow self-disclosure, which is exploration, trust, and then open to scrutiny. In deeper understanding. this situation our level of psychic strength may depend on our comfort with those present, the purpose of the disclosure, as well as to what degree it was essential that the disclosure be heard and understood accurately. In awkward moments the response to what was heard most likely depends on the experience of the hearer. Vocation and formation directors hear a number of stories, disclosures, and events that have impact on the lives of those who inquire about religious life or priesthood. It is critical for both formation and vocation directors to have resolved and be free of any personal issues pertaining to their own experiences. They also need to resolve and be free of issues and events from their own formation. The vocation director’s formation has no place in the inquirer’s experience. Vocation and formation personnel might address their own issues through reading, workshops, therapy, etc. In relation to sexual abuse, if the vocation or formation director has not resolved personal issues of sexual10 | HORIZON | Spring 2018
ity, is not aware of his or her own vulnerabilities, or has blocks related to unfamiliar topics, there is potential to harm those they accompany. An inquirer who has experienced sexual abuse and is relating what happened is telling a profound story. The way this story is received and responded to will allow or disallow exploration, trust, and deeper understanding. In addition to ensuring their own emotional freedom, it is important for directors to name the topic that a candidate raises. If the inquirer is speaking of abuse, it is then wise to name the abuse for what it is. Consider this piece of dialog: Inquirer: I was raped, a one-time rape experience when I was 16 years old. I was in high school at the time. The rape happened under the bleacher seats after a football game. Director: So, when this episode occurred, were you alone? (This minimizes the experience by not using the word “rape” and calling it an “episode.”) OR Director: So, when you were raped, who else was around? (This encourages a response by naming the abuse directly.) It is important for the director to use the inquirer’s words to further query or to clarify. Using minimizing or skirting words may indicate that the director is uncomfortable or uneducated about the topic, which may cause the inquirer to feel degraded, unheard, or perceive that she or he is not taken seriously. Disclosure from sexual abuse is a risk for the one who has been abused. One participant stated: “As a child, I did not have a safe place to tell of my abuse experience. It is an abandoning feeling to feel the shame of it, the anger, and the fear that people would find out. I could not risk that.” A participant who reported having a one-time rape experience stated: “While I cannot say I was lucky to be raped, I am lucky to have a loving and supportive family. While it was hard for us to overcome this at the time, we did, and we became closer as a family. I do not feel harmful effects from this experience now as an adult.” Other participants had less support from family and friends in relation to their disclosure of abuse. Some of their experiences are as follows: • When I was nine, I told my mother what my uncle was doing to me. She told me I was talking like a pig. Where’s a kid to go if your own mother blows off something horrible happening to you? I thought, OK kid, you’re on your own. Kaye | Sexual Abuse Survivors
• My parents were blind to us kids. After my abuser died, I was about eight or nine years old, and I told my mother what he did to me. She yelled at me and shook me for not telling her sooner. She never spoke about it again. • I had four abusers: my dad, my brother, my mother, and a priest who was a family friend. So, as a kid, who was I to tell? • I’m careful with whom I share my abuse experience. My own mother rejected me when I told her, and I became the odd duck in the family as a child. I was silenced on this topic. My abuser was her brother, my uncle. I’m fine to share now, but not just anywhere. There needs to be a purpose. In relation to vocation and formation ministry, those who inquire about religious life will run the gamut in terms of their comfort in sharing their story of sexual abuse or other trauma. Depending on previous support, relationships, and experiences in disclosing, some people will speak easily, while others may reserve disclosure for a time when there is a solid, trusting relationship with the vocation or formation director. For vocation and formation directors, it is important to hear the disclosure from the inquirer and to assess the level of healing that has taken place. It is also important not to frame future learnings about the inquirer through a filter of sexual abuse or other experiences they may share. This is only one part of a wider life.
Provide alternatives if trust is lacking One more major theme that emerged in my study was the idea that communities should be prepared to provide alternatives if a negative relationship develops between a candidate and a vocation director. This is especially important when candidates harbor experiences of sexual abuse. As one study participant stated: There seems to be a practice in many religious communities, men’s communities included, that when a toxic relationship develops between a potential religious and a vocation or formation director, the community continues to impose this toxicity and will not allow for a change of director. In relation to sexual abuse or any situation of vulnerability, it seems to me that we go to therapy to rid ourselves of toxic relationships. And here, the leadership of communities often Kaye | Sexual Abuse Survivors
impose and maintain toxicity for others. I feel this to be damaging to the person in formation and possibly also to the director. It is impossible to share your soul with someone you do not trust, and you shouldn’t. This is where I see great destruction and where we, as communities, may be losing good people. People are not coming to religious life for toxic relationships and certainly will not self-discover and discern in honesty and truth without being in a trusting relationship with the vocation and formation directors. Another participant commented: I was lucky. I had very fine formation directors; however I saw in our other province the serious dysfunction of a formation director and the emotional damage caused to those in formation. I ended up telling our leadership what I observed. I always say, “We don’t go to doctors or other professionals who we feel are not a good fit for us, why is this different?” It takes a trusting and stable relationship with vocation and formation directors to honestly and deeply discern a vocation to religious life. Prior to appointing vocation and formation personnel, it is important for leadership to determine selection criteria. Moreover leadership should assess potential directors for abilities and skills that can be built upon through course work, acknowledging innate abilities or inabilities. Those in formation roles need to be in good mental and physical health and have the capacity to genuinely care for the life of another. Vocation and formation years have the potential to be the best years of a religious person’s life when there is a mutual fit between vocation and formation directors and the inquirer. A healthy, productive life as a religious—and thereby for the whole religious community—begins with a strong foundation. We know that roughly 20 percent or more of those entering women’s communities carry the trauma of sexual abuse. I welcome the attention of leaders in religious life to the findings in my study. May our focus on these issues help ensure that entrance processes enhance healing, which can only strengthen consecrated life. n
Further reading “The traumatized applicant and the vocation director,” by Mary Elizabeth Kenel, HORIZON, Spring 2005. Spring 2018 | HORIZON | 11
Photo by Paulina Krzyzak
The ability to live well the public witness of the vow of obedience starts with being able to identify God’s presence and activity in one’s life.
By Sister Mary Pellegrino, C.S.J. Sister Mary Pellegrino, C.S.J. was the vocation director for her community, the Sisters of St. Joseph of Baden, Pennsylvania, for nine years, during which time she received an Outstanding Recognition Award from NRVC. Since 2008 she has served as her community’s congregational moderator and in 2016 served as president of the Leadership Conference of Women Religious. Pellegrino will be a speaker at NRVC’s convocation in November 2018.
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Obedience: showing up and listening for God
“M
Y FRIENDS ARE REALLY CONCERNED that I’m going to take this vow of obedience and just be told what to do and not have anything to say about it.” This is what 28-year-old Debra shared with me one day after several months of fairly serious discernment with our congregation. “I keep telling them that I don’t think that’s true, but I don’t really know what to tell them is true,” she continued. I challenged Debra to look back over the months we had been working together and consider what in her estimation guided our conversations. About a week later she shared with me in an e-mail that when she considered our work together, she realized that what fundamentally guided our discernment was that, “We’re both showing up and listening for God.” Pellegrino | Listening for God
Debra gets what is true about obedience. She gets Showing up that obedience is fundamentally about showing up and listening for God—whether it’s the obedience of a bapOver the years I’ve found that how an individual “shows tized Christian seeking God’s direction in life or that of a up” in the discernment process usually reveals interior vowed religious participating with leaders in selecting a attitudes and dispositions. And these reflect his or her ministry. capacity, or lack thereof, for living a life of vowed obediIn this article I’d like to explore this notion of showence in a healthy and life-giving manner. Janice and Baring up and listening for God as it relates to assessing bara provide two such examples. peoples’ potential for embracing a life marked by a vow Each time I met with Janice she came with new inof obedience. I write from the assumption that a public sights, awarenesses, questions, and curiosities. She readivow of obedience in consecrated life is an expression of ly spoke of her relationship with God and her rich prayer the obedience to God to which all baptized Christians life. After each experience of our congregation, she talkare called. ed about what stirred in her during those While I use personal anecdotes to ilencounters—both the attractions and the lustrate various points, I do so in service disappointments. While she was far from How an individual to the broader social dimension of our naïve, Janice was disarmingly honest “shows up” in the vows and the public witness of consecratwith me, never even trying to sugarcoat discernment process ed life. While our vows are deeply and anything that might reflect poorly on her. usually reveals profoundly personal expressions of a reShe had done a significant amount of interior attitudes lationship with Christ, they are in no way personal work prior to our working toand dispositions. And a private affair. Indeed their expression is gether and had learned a great deal about to be a prophetic public witness to what these reflect his or her herself that she could readily apply in her life is like in God’s beloved community in discernment process. Her ability to be capacity, or lack thereof, which everyone is loved, everyone is free self-directed was equally balanced by the for living a life of vowed and everyone has what they need. interior attitude of a seeker. While Janobedience. We are, as Pope Francis reminded ice respected my role and the authority us during the Year For Consecrated Life, of the congregation in her discernment called to “wake up the world” through process, she felt free enough to question the lived expression of our vows in the company of our when she did not understand or agree with something, sisters and brothers. Our vows are meant to free, not to and she was able to take appropriate initiative in pursuconstrain. When lived well by those who are authentiing particular insights or interests throughout our work cally called, they lend shape, not rigidity, to our lives together. and relationships. Each of our communities, through Barbara, on the other hand, was reticent in conversaits mission and charism, acts as a “house of belonging” tion, often responding, “I don’t know,” to even the simfrom which we enter into and respond to the needs of plest questions about her preferences, opinions or ideas. the world. She spoke frequently of wanting to leave her job of over Surely we who are called to this life grow into these 15 years, which she did not find fulfilling, but couldn’t realities; we didn’t, and others after us won’t come initialidentify any work that really interested her. She would ly prepared or equipped for the demands of this life and do or read whatever I suggested, but she didn’t pursue or the claims it places on us. Grace builds on nature, and so initiate anything on her own. At the end of our conversathe discernment process attempts to bring to light one’s tions she would ask what “homework” she had for the natural inclinations, capacities, abilities, and longings. next time. Furthermore when I did not supply a thought As you encounter the discerners in this article, conor opinion for Barbara, she would become frustrated and sider how your community’s witness to your mission, angry with me, judging that I was not doing my job. charism, and the Gospel of Jesus would be served by At the end of a lengthy and exhausting conversathis person’s presence. Consider what natural capacities tion, I learned that when Barbara was growing up, she might be present for grace to build on. Consider how the and her siblings would be either belittled or punished discerner might contribute to or detract from the broadif they came up with the wrong answer to their father’s er communal discernment or communal work that takes questions or if they offered an opinion, thought or idea place in your community. contrary to his own. Responding, “I don’t know,” to any Pellegrino | Listening for God
Spring 2018 | HORIZON | 13
of her father’s inquiries seemed the safest way to avoid embarrassment or punishment. Her father then would supply her and her siblings with his own opinion or idea from which they would take direction. As we continued to work through some of the issues that surfaced in this conversation it became clear to me that Barbara’s discernment process was the first time she had addressed her issues related to autonomy, selfresponsibility, and personal authority. It was apparent she needed a place other than the discernment process to grow toward a healthy and whole self. Shortly after the conversation noted here, we terminated Barbara’s discernment process so she could pursue personal development in an appropriate environment. Regardless of why Janice and Barbara showed up differently in their discernment processes, the fact is that one showed up with skills, abilities, and capacities needed for discernment, and the other did not. And because skills for seeking the will of God in our lives (discernment) are needed in order to choose the will of God (obedience), Janice’s potential to embrace a vow of obedience was far more intact than Barbara’s. Religious life is a life of self-donation, so ultimately there must be a “self ” to donate. Regardless of whether people are members of a religious congregation, the degree to which they assume responsibility and direction for their own lives says something about their selfhood. Our formation processes must be places in which peoples’ autonomy and personal authority are placed in relationship to and ordered according to a greater communal good. Therefore, it’s appropriate for both vocation ministers and congregations to expect entrants to possess an age-appropriate sense of self, autonomy, and personal authority. I’ve found it helpful in discerning with a potential candidate to be attentive to several questions related to autonomy, personal authority, and her relationship with external authority. Where and how does she take responsibility for her life? For her successes, failures, mistakes? Does she demonstrate appropriate initiative in conversation or activities? How is she affected by feedback or observations that might be unflattering or critical? Can she offer her opinions without being opinionated? Does she engage her own life, or does she wait for others to include her? Can she indicate and own her preferences, or does she more often than not say, “I don’t care” or, “It doesn’t matter”? Can she compromise, negotiate, or let go of her preferences for a greater good or for the good of another and not be diminished by that? What evidence is there that she is a listener and a learner? When 14 | HORIZON | Spring 2018
seeking legitimate direction, does she use permission seeking language (Am I allowed to ...?) as opposed to language that reflects greater autonomy and responsibility (Would it be appropriate if I ...?)?
Listening for God The first couple of times I met with 40-year-old Kathy I listened for any mention of God as a motivating factor in her interest in religious life. Even allowing for the nervousness and anxiety that is normal in these initial conversations, it became sadly apparent that while Kathy had several reasons for wanting to be a Sister of St. Joseph, God was not among them. When I asked Kathy to share a bit about her experience of God’s presence in her life, she responded, “I really don’t think of God in my life that much. I just keep trying different things hoping that maybe this time I’ll be happy.” If I were Kathy’s friend, spiritual director, or counselor, I would have responded much differently, but since I was her vocation director, I observed that while I didn’t doubt for a minute that God was present and active in Kathy’s life, she was the one who needed to bring to the discernment process her experience of God. Without her part, there really was no process. For vowed religious, being able to identify our experience of God’s presence and the patterns of grace given and received is an essential skill that nurtures our vocation as well as our ability to offer our whole selves in service to the Gospel through the mission of our congregation. Recognizing these patterns, the nuances of our relationship with God, our attractions and resistances are all part of “listening for God” as any one of us attempts to live in community under a vow of obedience. While potential candidates may not have the same abilities to listen for God as golden jubilarians, they need at least a rudimentary ability to recognize the presence and action of God in their lives and in the world. Furthermore they must possess age-appropriate ways of expressing that awareness in order to recognize (discernment) and choose to embrace (obedience) the will, movement and desires of God in their lives. I find it helpful to pay attention to several factors related to an inquirer’s ability to listen for God. Is she involved in spiritual direction? What does her prayer life look like? What nourishes or sustains her spiritual life? How has she made significant decisions in her life? How does she see herself at this time in her life in relationship to the broader Christian community? To the world? What are the influences and desires that hold the most Pellegrino | Listening for God
sway in her life? Are these influences and desires ordered in God, or do other influences and desires seem to take priority at this time? Is she able to recognize and own the patterns of grace given and received in her life? Is she able to speak of her experience of God’s presence and activity in her life?
How are community decisions made? One of the questions inquirers eventually ask me is, “How did you get to be vocation director?” While they might be interested in why I’m doing what I’m doing, it’s been my experience that what they really want to know is whether I was assigned, asked, or told to do this ministry or whether I chose it. Questions like this can open a place in the discernment process to explore how decisions are made in religious congregations and how personal authority and communal authority relate to each other in decisionmaking. In any congregation the manner in which decisions are made about anything from ministry choices to housing to finances to the use of communal resources is a daily expression of the relationship between personal authority and communal authority—which is ultimately an expression of the vow of obedience. Just as there are distinct and legitimate differences in the ways that potential candidates might come to decisions in their lives, there are also distinct and legitimate differences in the ways in which religious communities come to decisions in their lives. The clearer that we as vocation ministers and as community members can be about our decision-making practices, the greater the service we do our congregations and those considering entering them. It’s not only fair but responsible to share the expectations our congregations have about the degree of a member’s personal involvement in decisions that will affect his or her life and the life of the congregation as a whole. Sisters in my congregation tell story upon story of— in years past—receiving their ministry assignment on a particular day in August and having to leave for the new site almost immediately. Potential candidates hear those stories and, like Debra, they may not think that still happens, but they do wonder what exactly does happen and how we all wind up where we are. Potential candidates have a right to know how they would be involved in decisions that affect their formation, education, ministry and housing. They also have a right to know what level of personal involvement and investment will be expected and required of them in parPellegrino | Listening for God
Potential members should understand how decisions are made in a community. Pictured here are Ursuline Sisters of Mount St. Joseph at a leadership installation ceremony. On the left, Sister Pat Lynch, O.S.U. , incoming Leadership Council member, receives a candle from outgoing council member Sister Nancy Murphy, O.S.U.
ticipating in decisions that affect the entire congregation. Depending upon things like size, domestic or international status, financial situation, or mission, the level of personal involvement by individual members in congregational processes and decisions may vary from congregation to congregation. Far from placing value judgments on the legitimate differences that exist among religious communities, conversations with potential candidates about these differences can help clarify an individual’s potential to successfully live the vow of obedience in a given congregation. The reality is that a vow of obedience within a religious congregation does, should, and must order one’s personal authority toward the common good. How that happens in each of our congregations is a matter to explore with potential candidates.
Obedience to the process Tucked away in Debra’s observation at the beginning of this article is a particularly important nuance that I’d like to address in closing. After considering the work we had done together over the months, Debra observed, “We’re both showing up and listening for God.” Indeed we were. Debra realized that she was not alone in her discernment. We both were responsible to show up and listen for God. We were both accountable to the movements of God within her discernment process, and we both needed to continually beg the grace of interior freedom as we Spring 2018 | HORIZON | 15
moved through this sacred journey of discernment. That kind of interior freedom, being obedient to the process of discernment with potential candidates regardless of where it takes them, probably looks like a lot of different things for us as vocation directors. For me at times it’s looked like slowing a process down in order to look seriously at a potential candidate’s hesitations, cold feet, or resistances long enough for her truth to be revealed. It’s looked like terminating processes with women and meeting all sorts of judgments and misunderstandings because of it. At times it’s looked like working hard to get past my own personal attitudes—whether positive or negative—so that they would not get in the way of my responsibilities toward both my congregation and potential candidates. One time it looked like this. I met with Celia who was in her mid-20s and had come highly recommended by several of my sisters. She had contacted me because, although religious life was not her “first choice,” she had been experiencing some wonderment about it, and she thought she at least needed to ask some questions. She was bright, articulate, funny, socially aware, and justiceoriented. She readily spoke of her relationship with God and how it had deepened through spiritual direction and involvement in her parish, service, and spiritual development opportunities. She was highly motivated toward further education and was considering a return to graduate school. “But each time I pray about this, (religious life) I get sad and restless, and I have a sense that it’s too soon in my life to move in that direction. When I think about pursuing graduate school first and then seeing if this interest is still there, I feel so much better,” she told me. As she waited for me to respond, I was keenly aware of the great potential in me to explain away Celia’s sadness and restlessness as resistance, suggest that her experience of freedom in letting the question go for now was no more than temptation, and subtly steer her toward closer consideration of religious life and my community. After acknowledging the temptation to distort what I had heard, I was able to respond to what appeared to be the kernel of truth in Celia’s remarks and not what I might make them into. Any religious community would be blessed to have Celia as a member—and perhaps someday she’ll be a sister—but not right then. Obedience to the process of discernment called me to truthfully acknowledge that I was not hearing from Celia an invitation from God to consider religious life at that time. In my interaction with Celia I was also profoundly aware, as many of you probably are as well, of the incred16 | HORIZON | Spring 2018
ible trust potential candidates place in us as vocation ministers. They come vulnerable to our impressions, observations, and advice. Some come not knowing the first thing about looking at religious life and will do whatever is asked, not always out of lack of their own personal authority, but because of their lack of experience. Whether potential candidates know it or not, they come to us looking for direction, advice and guidance in pursuit of their best selves, and that requires that our best selves show up on the other end of their inquiries. Vowed, communal life in the Church has always carried with it a broader social dimension that can not be fully represented or expressed by any individual. In recent years, though, it seems that this social dimension of religious life is emerging from an obscurity that in some sense domesticated the potency of its witness value. Our communal, vowed lives position our communities as prophetic public witnesses to what life is like in the reign of God. Each of our congregations discerns the expression of its prophetic witness and public presence according to its own mission, charism, and character. We all need and want community members who are capable of contributing freely and wholeheartedly to the prophetic life of our community without being diminished by its obligations and demands. This means that we all need to show up and listen for God everywhere we go and in every circumstance we find ourselves. n This article originally appeared in the Fall 2003 HORIZON. The author updated it for this edition.
READ MORE ABOUT OBEDIENCE “Exploring three dimensions of the vow of obedience,” by Father Howard Gray, S.J. “The challenge of obedience,” by Sister Gertrude Foley,” S.C. “Obedience as sacrifice and blessing,” by Brother Kevin Griffith, C.F.C. “Dissecting a typical conversation about the vow of obedience,” by Brother Matthew McKenna, C.S.C. “Obedience, lived daily, takes us beyond our dreams,” by Sister M. Barbra Ostheimer S.N.D. “The wisdom of obedience for communities in mission,” by Brother Stephen Glodek, S.M. All of these articles are in the Fall 2003 HORIZON.
Pellegrino | Listening for God
Photo by Octavio Duran, O.F.M.
Three religious tell how they understand and experience the vow of obedience.
Each stage of life as a religious entails new challenges and graces from living the vows, especially the vow of obedience. Pictured here is author Father Daniel Horan, O.F.M. embracing Brother Casey Cole, O.F.M. at Cole’s solemn profession.
How we see the vow of obedience THE VOW OF SKILLFUL CONVERSATION By Father Daniel P. Horan, O.F.M.
A
T TIMES IT CAN BE TEMPTING to imagine the three evangelical counsels—poverty, chastity, and obedience—as static promises which once professed lock a person into a particular state of mind, soul, and life. Those women and men who have actually attempted to embrace these commitments for any period of time know that popular conceptions of religious vows can be entirely unhelpful. All three vows require an openness to the active working of the Holy Spirit and the ever-shifting context of one’s life. For example what one finds challenging about each vow after one year of profession will likely not be what is challenging 30 or 50 years later; likewise, the graces and blessings of the vows change with life, prayer, and experience too. For this reason it has always been important for me to understand the actual living of the three vows as a dynamic reality that is ever new. This is especially the case with the vow of obedience. The vow of obedience is a skill that has to be practiced and developed over the course of a lifetime. Most readers of this reflection will already know the etymological roots of the word, which can be traced back to the Latin oboedire, meaning literally “to listen.” This is no small detail or coHoran, Walsh, Schaefer | Vow of Obedience
Father Daniel P. Horan, O.F.M. is a Franciscan friar of Holy Name Province and teaches systematic theology at Catholic Theological Union in Chicago. Sister Julia Walsh, F.S.P.A. is a Franciscan Sister of Perpetual Adoration and is on the staff of the Marywood Franciscan Spirituality Center in Northern Wisconsin. Sister Judith Schaefer, O.P. is a Sinsinawa Dominican on leave from Saint Mary’s University to serve as president of Cotter High School in Winona, Minnesota.
Spring 2018 | HORIZON | 17
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18 | HORIZON | Spring 2018
incidence of linguistic history but the heart and soul of what this aspect of consecrated religious life is all about. Whereas the Hollywood depictions (and, perhaps, largely pre-Vatican II experiences) of the vow of obedience imagine the commonsense meaning of the term as the surrendering of one’s agency and independence, the vow itself finds its meaning in a conversation (from the Latin conversatio), which at its core means “to live together.” Living together with any hope of mutuality, dignity, and respect requires conversation, discussion, debate, understanding, patience, and, yes, listening. In an age so shaped by our electronic communication, dominated as it is by text-messages, social media, and e-mails—which are notoriously devoid of extratextual context—it can be very easy to hear what someone else is saying but still very difficult to listen to what is being communicated. In-person conversations can also be a challenge, which is why we need to hone the skill of obedience, of learning to listen to those we live with. I am as much a child of this digital age as anyone else of my generation. Neither religious life nor presbyteral ordination changes that fact. For this reason, reflecting on the complexity of the vow of obedience has been very important to me. The first real challenge I faced in living out the spirit of obedience happened two years before I first professed the religious vow. I was a postulant in my first year of formation when a Franciscan friar whom I admired and respected died. I first met him while still an undergraduate student and was saddened to hear of his passing from this life to the next. I asked my formation director if I could have permission to go to the funeral, which was going to be a two-day trip given the eight-hour drive each way. In a thoughtful but firm manner the formator’s response was a no. Needless to say I was not happy about that. Of all the things that I could have requested permission to attend, the funeral of another friar seemed as straightforward as could be imagined. If obedience meant what the commonsense perception of the vow was, then that would have been the end of the story: a blanket no for an answer and silence for an explanation. But, in fact, what unfolded was a meaningful conversation that permitted a true dialogue. I was able to share why I felt it a good idea for me to go and what not going to the funeral meant to me. And I had the opportunity to listen to the wisdom and perspective of my formation director. I’m still not sure to this day that I agree with his decision, but I do know where he was coming from and understand the multiple factors he had to weigh in the decision-making Horan, Walsh, Schaefer | Vow of Obedience
OBEDIENCE AS CONVERSATION AND CONTAINER By Sister Julia Walsh, F.S.P.A.
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ERVING IN the Jesuit Volunteer Corps in Sacramento after college, I once found myself thinking about the options for my future and literally spinning in circles. After a housemate asked me what I might Horan, Walsh, Schaefer | Vow of Obedience
Photo by Dean Acheson, courtesy of the Franciscan Sisters of Perpetual Adoration
process. If either he or I had refused any further discussion, then we would both have been violating the vow of obedience, sidestepping an obligation we had to listen. That was many years ago. In the time that has passed since that difficult brush with obedience, many other decisions have been made—decisions small and large, insignificant and life changing—and in nearly each case I have been blessed to exercise my vow of obedience as those entrusted with my care have likewise done. Sometimes the decisions concerned a matter of relative insignificance such as a weekend ministry schedule; other decisions have involved an important moment of discernment such as considering going to graduate school or deciding which full-time ministry position to accept. Each time has been an experience of learning and growth, and I am grateful for those brothers of mine who have served in both local and provincial leadership. Each decision has also been an opportunity to practice the important skill of conversation, of attentive listening, of empathy and understanding. I now have the privilege and responsibility of being part of a formation program as an educator who prepares women and men religious, alongside their lay colleagues, for professional ministry. What I have learned from my own experience living and practicing the vow of obedience informs the way I relate to and seek to model religious life for my students. I imagine this skill is also important for both vocation and formation directors, for how we envision the life we have professed to live shapes the way we pass on the tradition to those who follow after us. If we can move from static or unidirectional understandings of obedience as merely a command-andresponse activity or an expectation of “blind faith” on the part of the formandi to an appreciation for the organic, dynamic, and spirit-led exercise of skillful conversation, then those we accompany in discernment and formation might grow to appreciate the rich blessings of God’s Spirit always already active in and through the religious community. n
The author, Sister Julia Walsh, F.S.P.A., gives a retreat talk, part of a ministry that she discovered through faithfulness to the vow of obedience.
do after our year of service, I moved from spot to spot over the stained living room carpet and told her about what I perceived to be options for my future. Talking with my whole body, I spoke about my dreams and desires, possibilities and plans. Every option I was considering was influenced by my love of adventure. I stood in one spot and told her that I wanted to go graduate school, but I wasn’t sure how I could afford it. I moved to another spot and said I wanted to backpack in Europe and might if I could find some work abroad. Then I spiraled across the room, and I spoke about another option that loomed on my horizon, the one that felt like my destiny and that I wanted to procrastinate. Or, I could enter the Franciscan Sisters, but I am not sure I want to yet. Months later, my housemates and I attended a conference on Catholicism and social justice. After listening to the keynote speaker the first night, my heart was somehow more awakened to the desire to live the Gospel radically. A place in me opened, letting my inner voice bubble up. I suddenly felt capable of hearing and obeying it. As I dressed the next morning and moved around in Spring 2018 | HORIZON | 19
a drowsy stupor, I heard a voice speak out loud: I want know, from Mary to Peter to Paul, shows me that I need to start formation. It took me bit to realize that it was my to detach from my own ideas of where I think my life is voice, the deepest part of myself—the place most congoing, what I think my life is about. Obedience means I nected to God—that was speaking. The next day I called keep my ears and heart open. I must take out my metathe vocation director and told her I wanted to begin my phorical earplugs and remove my headphones, so I am application. Now I’m a professed Franciscan sister living in tune to God’s voice speaking to me, even when I least the evangelical counsels, and I have come to understand expect it. Then I must turn my ears outward and check my entire life as a conversation with God, even the time with my sisters. Is what I am hearing in line with what prior to becoming a vowed Franciscan sister. Reflecting they hear? on my life, I see patterns of listening through the layers A couple of years ago I was ministering as a high of (sometimes conflicting) desires and doubts. I tended school teacher when I received an invitation from a parto respond to what I heard within my ish to lead a confirmation retreat for their heart with questions or requests. I tendyouth. Before the invitation, the possibiled to say, God if this is your will, show ity of serving in retreat ministry hadn’t Every biblical model me the way, like when I was trying to occurred to me. But putting the retreat I know, from Mary to decide whether to transfer colleges, for together, I found that I was passionate and Peter to Paul, shows me example. alive; the sisters I lived with at the time that I need to detach Of course there were times when I observed this too. I continued to teach, from my own ideas of found myself resisting what I thought wondering all the while if retreat ministry was likely to be God’s will. Even if my where I think my life is might be something I eventually could do heart knew what would make me most full time. I remained open and continued going, what I think my happy, healthy, and holy, I still said no. forward with hope that if this was God’s life is about. I resisted the promptings of the Holy will, the timing would become clear. Spirit and entered into relationships Then one day I surprised myself. I with men that I knew were going noheard my voice telling my colleagues at where, just for the fun of it, for example. I rebelled and a department meeting that I thought it was time for me made choices that didn’t easily allow for a flourishing of to move on. I was as shocked as they were, so I couldn’t God’s goodness in my life. At times my selfishness and answer any of their questions. Instead I took those quesstubbornness stunted my growth and ability to feel God tions to prayer, asking God what I should do next. When close. I heard, “Go to the spirituality center and help with reOnce I started living the vow of obedience this treats,” I practically gasped; yet the listening didn’t stop changed. I began to renounce my resistance and rebelthere. For the next month and a half I met with commulion and to joyfully submit to God’s plans. Previous nity leadership, my local group, and other sisters to distemptations to ignore a concern for the common good cern the change in ministry and a move across the state. were replaced with improved listening skills. The conAgain and again I heard encouragement and affirmation versation with God continues, but now I am much more and, “It sounds like you are really called to do this.” With inclined to tune in and accept God’s calls and invitations the blessing and encouragement of my community, when and show God my yes through Gospel actions. In many a position opened up at the center, I had the courage to ways, this is the maturity of human spirit that the vows try something beyond my imagination. As it turns out, are meant to offer us. Now that I respond to God’s invitabeing open to the God of surprises and following God’s tions with the yes of my life, I am on my way to becomway for me means that I am serving in a ministry that ing the woman God intended me to be. permits many of my gifts to be offered. Plus, I have been Each time I allow my yes to line up with God’s will given the grace to grow in health and happiness. I aim to imitate Christ, who said, “I have come down Prior to making my final vows I was fortunate to from heaven not to do my will, but the will of him who participate in a pilgrimage to Assisi. One day at the Carcsent me” (Jn. 6:39). I have discovered that when I yield to eri—a prayerful place made up of a network of paths and God’s big picture, I open a space for greater freedom in caves along a hillside—I sat on a stump and gazed up at my life. I experience a new kind of adventure. rays of light falling through the treetops while I prayed. Scripture has helped me understand that discipleship In the beams, tiny bugs became visible. The light illurequires being open to surprises. Every biblical model I mined them, and their true selves were better revealed. 20 | HORIZON | Spring 2018
Horan, Walsh, Schaefer | Vow of Obedience
This, I realized, was what I wanted the vow of obedience to do for me. Illuminate me. Reveal my true self. I don’t believe God has asked me to sacrifice my nature—my free-spiritedness, my love of adventure—to become something I’m not. Instead, I believe the vow of obedience is the container that holds me, a ray of light that illumines the goodness of God that flows through me, like a prism or beacon. Held by the love of my community and God, I can stand still and listen; I no longer have to spin in circles. In obedience I’ve gained the freedom to trust and submit my will to God’s mysterious ways. n
Religious live the vow of obedience daily in what they do and how they do it. Above left is the author, Sister Judith Schaefer, O.P., speaking to students at a city-wide Catholic schools liturgy.
OBEDIENCE AS LISTENING-IN-COMMUNION By Sister Judith Schaefer, O.P.
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HERE IS AN ADAGE that you write or teach what you, the teacher or writer, need to learn. For me that must have to do with obedience because when I look back over my professional writing, I see that much of it is centered on issues of authority and obedience. Clearly this has been my growing edge, a subject Horan, Walsh, Schaefer | Vow of Obedience
that fascinates me and holds potential for growth. Understanding the vow of obedience in the 20th and 21st century has been difficult. In so many ways it simply doesn’t make sense. Much in our culture and our world rails against the type of subordination that the word obedience denotes. Yet in the middle of this era, I professed vows to an 800-year-old tradition that put obedience at the center of my life. For Dominicans obedience is the only vow we profess (the others are assumed in it). So how have I made sense of such a dichotomy? In its classic definition obedience comes from the root ob audire and means to listen. For me the heart of the vow is the act of listening rather than doing. During my early years in religious life—even though they were after Vatican II—this distinction wasn’t made. In fact we really did not do much at all with the vow of obedience. It was a time of “collaboration,” “consultation,” and “empowerment”—with an emphasis on the development of the individual. And yet at times I wished someone would tell me to do something out of obedience, rather than ask me to discern for myself what was best! Later during my work as a formation director, it became even clearer that the vow of obedience needed rethinking. One day a novice asked insightfully, “What exactly is the renewed understanding of obedience if we don’t even have superiors anymore?” And, I had to admit that I didn’t really know. So I began a journey of discovery to reframe the vow of obedience in a way that made sense to me—and hopefully, to others. Beginning with the idea of listening, I asked several questions: Listen to whom? For what? When? How? I knew that I felt deeply committed to my sisters and my vowed life, but I couldn’t find many instances where I was asked “to obey.” In fact I once asked a group of vowed religious to whom I was speaking to raise their hand if they had made a decision or taken an action out of “obedience” within the past 10 years—and, to my absolute amazement, only two or three raised their hand. And yet I knew this was a group of faithful women who had participated in chapters, discerned elections, and opened new ministries. And yet they didn’t think these things had anything to do with the vow. Clearly obedience needed to be reframed for all of us. Obedience by its nature is a religious paradigm that frames one’s actions in the quest for God. For many centuries, this quest was named “spiritual perfection” and was modeled on Christ’s obedience to God’s will. In religious life, the superior became the mediator of God’s will. Much great work and countless acts of selfless service were done by generations of religious women and Spring 2018 | HORIZON | 21
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men motivated by this model. By the late 1900s, however, this model conflicted with emerging values of personal development and growth. So how could obedience be reframed so its intrinsic value and meaning would be found? Listening seemed to be a place to start. For me listening to my sisters has generally been easy because I have always treasured them. And, because I am an innately curious person, reading, listening to the news, or pondering new ideas has also been life-giving. However it wasn’t until I understood that the vow of obedience is actualized in these very acts of listening that a new model began to emerge. As Father J.M.R. Tillard, O.P. describes it, “By the vow of obedience what one does is in a certain way nothing else than to raise above [one’s] life a network of antennas that permit [one] to find with greater ease and security the multiple calls of God.” Practically then, for me, my quest for God is about living and seeking communion with God and others through a life of interdependence and accountability. Obedience (listening for communion) is the framework out of which I make my choices. What I do and how I live is influenced by and influences those to whom I have committed my life. Spiritual life begins and ends with 22 | HORIZON | Spring 2018
God’s action or grace operating within the human heart. Obedience requires that I listen broadly and deeply: first, to my own heart, spirit, and conscience; second, to those to whom I have committed my life; third, to the Body of Christ as a whole; and fourth, to the needs and hopes of the larger human community. In each of the above “listenings,” obedience asks that I passionately seek the voice of God and choose communion. Obviously listening is only one dimension of the vow of obedience. Learning how to listen requires practice and more practice. What I have heard must be placed within the fabric of discernment—that graced space where God’s invitation is detected. Then, what is heard and what is discerned calls forth a generous response. I have written further about each of these stages in The Evolution of A Vow: Obedience as Decision Making in Communion (LitVerlag, 2009). Obedience, for me, is lived daily—in what I do, how I spend my time, what I do with my money, how I engage in community life, what I do to take care of myself, etc. It is the singular thread of grace that binds me to my sisters in the only way that is divine—through and in communion. n Horan, Walsh, Schaefer | Obedience
Photo courtesy of the Adorers of the Blood of Christ
Religious have valuable perspectives on current issues. Above an interviewer from Buzzfeed videotapes Sister Mary Alan Wurth, A.S.C. about her community’s stand against its land being forcibly taken to build the Atlantic Sunrise pipeline in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.
Five tips to up your communication game
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HE INTERNET HAS CHANGED so much about how organizations communicate. We’re all vying for a blip in the attention span of populations who are over-stimulated, exhausted, and desensitized. The race to make your ad the flashiest, your blog post go viral, or your brand seem the most hip tends to make religious feel uncomfortable, and rightfully so. Many orders either overcompensate or never try at all to use contemporary technology to its full advantage. It can seem overwhelming to find the right way to balance the value of humility and the demands of brand awareness (or community awareness as religious might name it). What is the right way to communicate to individuals considering a religious vocation? Here are five tips from a Millennial who has spent the last three and a half years communicating on behalf of women religious.
1. Know who you are You can have amazing graphics or interesting videos, but without a clear Caulkins | Up Your Communication Game
By Miranda M. Caulkins Born and raised in central Illinois, Miranda M. Caulkins has used her design and branding skills to help nonprofits expand their reach for the last 11 years. She graduated from Greenville University with a degree focused on digital media and religion. Her work with the Adorers of the Blood of Christ Communications Department began in 2014. Miranda also served on NRVC’s inaugural planning committee to shape the Vocation Ambassadors Program.
Spring 2018 | HORIZON | 23
know-how, some time, and a Squarespace.com subscriporganizational identity, your communication will not tion can do wonders. If you use your website for fancier produce the follow through vocations ministers work functions, such as database hosting, you may need some and pray for. web developer help (or brainstorm alternatives). Knowing who you are is the most important facet of Remember the website is not for your community. branding. Too often I see congregations posting ads or It’s for your target audience. The layout and text used on trying to cultivate vocational interest before defining the many religious order websites is crowded, mis-focused, identity of their order. and esoteric. This is a challenge most communicators for Religious, especially women religious, have been religious orders run into. Sister S can’t find [blank] (bethrough incredible changes in the last 60 years. The guidcause it’s in a dropdown menu). Or Sister ing principles of your community may be T doesn’t like that the website uses the the same as when you were founded, but word work when it should say mission. the jargon, geographical set up, vision All of this internal language has been for the future, and personality of most If men and women thoughtfully crafted over the years to satgroups have certainly undergone radical are considering one of isfy as many of the complexities of relishifts. As the individuals within a comthe biggest decisions gious life as possible. I love that religious munity grow, adapting to personal and of their life, they’ll be are committed to using words intentionspiritual growth, cultural influences, and looking for groups ally, but if the general public shows up evolution in the church itself, the whole on your website and doesn’t know what who are clear about of the community grows and evolves. the word charism means, you either have Despite this evolution, many comwho they are and to educate your web visitors or choose a munities are stuck talking about themwhere they’re going. more mainstream word. selves in the past. They don’t know who The website is not for the commuthey are anymore. nity. It is for the audience. The general public is used to brands that are clear about who they are and what they offer. Your audience can tell when a message 3. Focus on growing your email list you put forth doesn’t actually jibe with the culture of the Maybe you, as vocation director, should eventually organization communicating it. This happens a lot with learn about best social media practices, buying ads, and organizations trying to communicate with Millennials. boosting posts, but if you don’t have the experience or I’ve seen too many misused memes, emojis, and abbrethe time, focus on building your email list. This is the viations! quickest way to reach people who have already “bought If men and women are considering one of the bigin.” They’ve expressed interest in hearing from you again. gest decisions of their life, they’ll be looking for groups You have their attention. that are clear about who they are and where they’re goIf you’ve been told email is dead, you’ve been told ing. There is little incentive to be tied to a community wrong. It’s still the number one way to get content that lacks clarity. engagement from your target audience. Content is deHere’s an example. You only have three sisters under scribed more in tip #4, but it is anything you’re producthe age of 40? You don’t need to pretend in your marketing and sharing—blogs, ministry stories, reflections, voing that you’re a young community. Communicate that cation stories, theological writings, videos, or podcasts. you are a diverse community with wisdom aplenty and The vocations team I work for mostly uses our email list offer the opportunity for new members to impact the to prompt our discerners to reflect on their own lives and future of the church by building something new (the key spiritual journey. We send out short reflections, journalbeing that you actually offer that freedom in reality). You ing prompts, interesting blogs we’ve published on the might be surprised how many people are truly interested main website, and notices about features that media outin that. lets have done on us (like being on A Nun’s Life podcast). Produce interesting content and skip the Facebook 2. Get a better website ads until you’ve really maximized the potential of an email list. This topic could warrant its own article, but And it doesn’t have to cost a ton. The current website for here are some ideas for increasing your email list: the order I work for was set up for under $300. A little 24 | HORIZON | Spring 2018
Caulkins | Up Your Communication Game
• Make it easy for people to sign up when they visit your website. • Always ask for email addresses when meeting students at conferences or when inquirers fill out basic profile forms. Add these addresses to your list! • Consider audiences you could cross-share email lists with, such as sponsored ministries, campus ministries, parishes, and other orders. • Ask people in your community to share the email addresses of their friends and family. Often sisters in the community I work for keep in touch with past students, nieces and nephews, or former inquirers but never think to share their email with the communications or vocations staff. Ask directly if you can have permission to add these individuals to your list. • Consider offering something special to your website visitors or Facebook followers in exchange for email addresses. For instance you might promote that you’ll be offering a daily or weekly devotional via email during Lent. Once you wow them with your Lenten wisdom, you’ll have their email addresses and their interest.
4. Add value to people’s lives And never doubt you have value to add. If you are grateful for the immense joy, purpose, friendship, and theological depth your religious order has given you, then you know firsthand the impact your message can have. There is so much noise in the world and on the Internet. People are seeking out the teachers and communities that add value to their lives. Religious have an important perspective on theology, ministry, relationships, social justice issues, the church, and the quest to live a life of purpose. Communicating effectively means effectively sharing those unique perspectives with your audience. Potential new members aren’t going to fall in love with your order because you talk about vocations a lot (not saying you shouldn’t), but they’ll get to know who you are and what value you add to the world based on the content you choose to share. For example, if you believe the world needs more positivity, then at least 70 percent of the content you produce should be aimed at that goal (blog posts about people making a difference, encouraging quotes on Twitter, uplifting videos, email newsletters that are bursting with Caulkins | Up Your Communication Game
positive energy). If you believe the wider church needs a deeper knowledge of theology, then 70 percent of the content you produce should point to that end (bullet list blogs of misunderstood theological points, guest posts from theologians, maybe a podcast that makes theological teaching more interesting for young adults). In a way this is what religious have always done. Finding where a need intersects with the charism of the community and then creatively meeting that need has been the legacy of religious orders throughout history— only now the platform is the Internet. Consider ways you can offer value to the people you want to reach. Do this, and you’ll start to grab the attention of individuals who are interested in joining you on that endeavor.
5. Realize you already have everything you need Technology assists with getting your name “out there,” but the number one reason people consider a religious vocation is still a relationship with someone who encourages their vocation. This can feel devastating at times for orders with aging members who are no longer active in ministries outside the insular community. Vocations ministers must start to get creative. This may include a pen-pal program, volunteer opportunities, young adult associate programs, weekly brunch for college students, post-service lunch on Sundays, or even audio recordings telling the stories of older members (sent out via that snazzy email list you created after reading Tip #3). The point is that if technology overwhelms you, know that the thing religious are best at—forging relationships—is not “extra” work when it comes to effectively communicating as a vocation minister. It is the work. You know this. It’s just forgotten during conferences, planning meetings, brainstorming sessions, and goal setting. Constantly chasing after the next technology that promises to bring droves of inquirers to your door is futile. Setting clear priorities, using strategies that work with the message you’re trying to promote, and being clear about who you are: these are the main things you need to confidently use technology to leverage the incredible work religious are already doing. n
Related reading “Create a vocation communications plan,” by Cheryl Aughton, HORIZON, Fall 2016. Spring 2018 | HORIZON | 25
Book notes
Young voices brim with insight
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By Sister Katarina Schuth, O.S.F. Sister Katarina Schuth, O.S.F., has been a member of the Sisters of St. Francis of Rochester, Minnesota, since 1960. She is professor emerita at the St. Paul Seminary School of Divinity, University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minnesota. She has written six books on theological education and church life and ministry, most recently (2016), Seminary Formation: Recent History, Current Circumstances, and New Directions, about changes in seminary education since Vatican II.
26 | HORIZON | Spring 2018
HE VARIETY OF WOMEN ENTERING RELIGIOUS LIFE these days is of considerable interest to church leaders, particularly those involved in vocation ministry. Though the number of these young women is relatively small, their importance and role in the future of religious congregations cannot be underestimated. In an exceptional book, In Our Own Words: Religious Life in a Changing World (Liturgical Press 2018), 13 young women religious express insights and beliefs about their lives. The authors met to exchange ideas for individual essays that became the substance of this collaborative work. They describe their journey into religious life and provide details about their present experience and hopes for the future. The language they use, the points they emphasize, and their distinctive viewpoints make clear the uniqueness of this generation of religious. The editors, Sisters Juliet Mousseau, R.S.C.J. and Sarah Kohles, O.S.F. chose a cross section of writers ranging in age from late 20s to late 40s, representing an ethnic variety and a range of apostolic congregations, with membership in both the Leadership Conference of Women Religious and The Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious. The chapters focus on the vows, religious identity and interaction among generational and cultural identities, and leadership for the future. The first chapter introduces the notion that religious are charged with becoming “experts in communion.” Immense changes take place as new people enter a community and require accommodation by current members. These difficult adjustments necessitate a shift in ways of living together. Ideally, the author maintains, the “communion paradigm” can be achieved if members accept others as they are, recognize God’s love for all, and develop an attitude of service toward each person in the community. The next three chapters focus specifically on the vows, with the first providing a superb scriptural understanding of the vows by examining Schuth | Book Notes
Hannah’s vow of fidelity as she asks God to remember her in a time of need and distress (1 Sam. 1-2). The second chapter on vows uses insights from theological anthropology to understand what it means to be human— that is, to be created by God as good but with freedom to choose the opposite. The vows represent God’s desire for us with both our gifts and limitations. The remaining chapter on vows connects the transformative power of the vows to mission in a particular time and place. This stance necessitates a different approach to the vows: “The world needs radical people, people who are rooted in the mission of Jesus Christ and given unabashedly for the transformation of society,” the author contends. She voices concern that the vision of the young who want to serve in situations of poverty will be dismissed, and she is dismayed that permission is required to work with the poor. The chapters that follow deal with the meaning of charism and the religious and cultural identities of communities. Global connections and ethnic diversity feature prominently in these reflections. The first is unique in that it discusses charism in the context of religious life as an expression of “global sisterhood.” Though charism is usually understood as a founding principle, the author introduces the notion of richer meaning as new contexts are allowed to reshape the touchstone charism. The next chapters are more personal and in a way more engaging in that the young women tell stories of struggle to fit into communities that are culturally and generationally vastly different from their own backgrounds. Each explains how individual interactions were instrumental in their sense of feeling welcome in the congregation. In the first story the author describes her progress through stages of belonging: from “the seed” of an original call, to becoming “the sower” of seeds when she finds pride in her own culture and a growing desire to respond fully to God’s voice. A young woman born of Vietnamese refugees describes her journey to religious life as an experience of the Paschal Mystery. After deciding to enter religious life, she experienced deep cultural differences between her Vietnamese background and her largely white community. She felt stuck in the middle of two cultures. With good will on both sides, though the struggle remains, she is able to turn to God and not away from religious life. Both intergenerational and intercultural encounters are taken up by the next three authors. One of them notes age differences in the expression of relationships: the young focus on forming relationships; the middle-aged are intent on being life-giving; and the Schuth | Book Notes
late-aged tend to reflect on their life and legacy. In intercultural settings recognizing the gifts and patterns of each culture is a starting point for identifying strands of unity. Whether age or culture is the source of division, the authors suggest that certain behaviors can help overcome separation, such as letting go and becoming flexible, learning from others, and expressing gratitude to others. An “in-between” chapter connects with the others by making clear that compassion is essential for religious of any age and background. The author stresses the idea that no Younger religious want matter what we do or who we are, showing compasto and deserve to create sion through presence—as a future that responds Jesus did—makes the difto their visions and the ference. needs of the world as The final chapters are they see them. forward looking and deal with leadership, the state of the world in which religious function, and potential futures for religious life. The first two authors express distinctive approaches and attitudes about the leadership of younger religious. The first describes at length the difficulty of being accepted as a younger leader. She attributes the reluctance of younger sisters to take on leadership roles to the lack of respect from elders. She suggests revising formation and orientation for leadership, adjusting to the smallness of communities, and recognizing the value of community leadership. The other essay on leadership acknowledges the dire situation of religious congregations, but at the same time the author offers an optimistic view about the way forward. To create a more positive future, a compassionate presence in a weary world can be brought about by planning, discerning the outline of next steps, and making decisions that “recommission” efforts on a smaller scale. The final chapter looks at future prospects for religious congregations. The author advises following the advice of Pope Francis: “We are invited to be audacious, frontier men and women.” Following Christ using such an approach, she explains, means embracing the Paschal Mystery by being courageous and trusting in the Spirit when tensions arise between what has been and what still needs to be brought to life. Her view is that we need relational, mobile communities that build bridges to connect diverse populations—international and intergenerational. The book’s final pages offer lists of practices to help discern the future, such as setting aside ego, avoidSpring 2018 | HORIZON | 27
Ne w ! “This book was born of an expressed need of newer religious for more contemporary work on religious life and the vows. It led them to ask the questions: ‘If not us, who? If not now, when?’ The voices of its thirteen authors pulse with new energy that both inspires and challenges readers. In their sharing of personal stories and scholarly insights, they offer new interpretations to this constantly evolving lifeform in our Church and world today.” Ellen Dauwer, SC Executive Director of the Religious Formation Conference
Paperback 256 pp., $29.95 | eBook, $23.99
LITURGICAL PRESS
litpress.org | 800-858-5450 28 | HORIZON | Spring 2018
ing judgment, raising difficult questions while caring for the other, and remaining grounded in prayer. Taken as a whole In Our Own Words is brimming with tremendous insights about the future, ideas that are uncommonly expressed in many religious quarters. This book has opened my eyes to a world that I have recognized only in limited ways to date. Younger religious want to and deserve to create a future that responds to their visions and the needs of the world as they see them. Older leaders need to honor that right and accompany, not abandon them. To move forward with integrity requires promoting the leadership of younger people in whatever ways feasible. From another point of view, my opinion diverges on some reflections, and I noticed areas that need attention. On the first point, many authors emphasize the importance of the internal life of communities and depict a rather idealistic view of communal living. Perhaps more consideration could be given to the demands of ministry and other pressures, such as health and family stresses, thus balancing spiritual, personal needs with the sacrifice of time and self for the sake of mission. A second point rightly expressed is the desire for living simply and frugally, but the aspiration of maintaining international connections may conflict with that desire. Among the lacunae, the lack of reference to education is disconcerting because it seems to imply a low value for further education and for educational ministry. Some authors complained about lacking knowledge of the history and charism of their congregations, a problem that might be overcome by in depth education about them during orientation. Also the eagerness to be a leaven in the weary world requires advanced study, formal and informal, if the realities of the world are to be properly addressed. Lastly I noted the absence of any discussion about women’s communities and their relationship to the institutional church. These topics may have been omitted intentionally or inadvertently. As they continue to discuss and write about their future, it seems essential that young women in religious life reflect on these subjects that have been integral to the life for centuries. Although I have critiques, this book is of tremendous value. If all of the positive suggestions about the future of religious life were to be examined in their entirety and then organized by theme, a substantial body of knowledge would be accessible to all religious congregations. In Our Own Words is exceptional and deserves close attention since these convincing and cogent voices are seldom heard in such an expansive narrative. n Schuth | Book Notes
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