uses to describe this quality are committed, decisive, or, my favorite, determined.
Spirited Away
My daughter is the most determined person I have ever met. She learned how to ride a bicycle in three days, at age
When I see my daughter attempting something like climbing a rock wall, I can’t help but feel inspired to take leaps in my own life, too.
4 Lessons Learned from My Daughter
By Cheryl Maguire
I
recently discovered the book Raising Your Spirited Child (HarperCollins, 2009) by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. I wish I had known about it 11 years ago when my spirited daughter was born. I never knew there was a positive classification for her personality.
According to the book, a spirited child is one who is “more intense, persistent, sensitive, and perceptive” than the average child. Kurcinka coined the term spirited when she was looking for information regarding her son and only came across words like difficult, strong-willed, or stubborn. She felt that describing her child using a positive word like spirited would help her to focus on his strengths. When I was in graduate school earning a degree in counseling psychology, I remember a professor saying to me, “You will learn the most from the challenging cases.” 12 SonomaFamilyLife
This comment has stayed with me throughout the years. After reading this book, I couldn’t help but think of how I became both a better parent and a better person from knowing my daughter. Here are a few of the qualities I cultivated because of her. Determination Kurcinka says spirited children are persistent. While this attribute can lead to power struggles with parents, she points out that it is also a positive characteristic, citing examples of persistent people like Martin Luther King Jr. and the Wright brothers. Other positive words she
five, mostly on her own. She spent every moment of those three days attempting this skill. It didn’t matter how many times she fell or how many scrapes and bruises she received, she got back on her bicycle until she could ride it without falling. She used the same amount of determination to learn to play the piano. One day she decided she wanted to learn how to play, and instead of asking for lessons, she looked up instructional YouTube videos. She spent the next week practicing the same song over and over until she had mastered it. Everyone in the family was amazed at her ability to play the song, which she learned entirely on her own. When I see her willingness to go after her goals despite any obstacles she may encounter, I can’t help but feel motivated to do the same. When I’m feeling frustrated I merely envision her riding the bicycle or playing the piano, and I realize I can’t give up.
September 2017 www.sonomafamilylife.com