ISSUE
7
MAY 2016
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NOURRIR STAFF FOUNDER AND CHIEF EDITOR
Freya Boulakbeche freya@nourrirmag.com CONTENT EDITOR
Justin Hickman media@nourrirmag.com
CONTRIBUTORS
Erin Smith, Kitty Aal, Alyssa Camara, Claudine Cooper, Ferial Pearson, Mia Grady, Amy Jeanchaiyaphum ON THE COVER
Dianne Bondy cover and all photos of Dianne by, Sarit Rogers SUBSCRIPTIONS
Media@nourrirmag.com
NOURRIR’S MISSION STATEMENT Nourrir, the French word meaning “to nourish” is a multi-media lifestyle magazine designed to feed all five of the senses - sight, sound, touch, smell and taste. We will feature food, fashion, travel, current events and women who inspire us. We don’t want to tell women how they are supposed to be, we want to give them information that will support their path, today. With commitment to responsive and insightful storytelling, and a keen and fresh editorial eye, Nourrir dares women to not only be good enough, but exceptional. We believe in you.
media@nourrirmag.com
facebook.com/nourrirmag
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@nourrir_mag
@nourrir_mag
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NOURRIR CONTENTS
STAFF
2
EDITOR’S LETTER
4
CONTRIBUTORS
5
NOURRIR LONDON
7
TWO BUDGETS 8 NOURRIR INSPIRATION
10
LUSTS & MUSTS
12
NOURRIR FRIENDSHIP
13
SPOTLIGHT
15
NOURRIR FASHION
21
FINAL THOUGHTS
30
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EDITOR’S LETTER Distinct before/after experiences mark the path of my life so far: the death of my beloved grandfather in 2000, moving to France 1997, the birth of my son 2008 and now the passing of Prince. April 21, 2016. The world lost a genius. I lost a friend. He didn’t know that he was my friend, along with several million other purple loving souls. Prince accompanies my experiences; each moment with lucid memory he inhabits. 1982 age 6, 1999 vinyl on my mother’s turntable, I was hooked. For You was my de facto for Christmas decorating, Lovesexy on the tape player all day every day during middle school, high school, Diamonds and Pearls, and so many countless other albums, too many to list. 3121 when I became a mother, Musicology and Washington D.C.. How many deep life decisions, love shared, conversations and dancing done with him? I miss him. His legacy, cemented by musical prodigy and genius, isn’t bound by a single thread. He pioneered so many culture-changing ideas, we may never truly understand the tapestry of his influence. This editor’s letter is not another eulogy. There will be enough of those. The intentions herein are about kindness, primarily how each of us can be the vessels of compassion in the moment we’re in, right now, today.
“Compassion is an action word with no boundaries.” - Prince Kindness: a state of mind, a conscious decision. If we put the action of kindness on repeat, the world will weave a colorful, peaceful new reality. Recently, I read a post of the Hands Free Revolution founder, who made it her daily thing to always find one thing kind to say. This goes one step further than the old adage, “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” In a world where self-loathing is the norm, hatred is spewed on television all day and children are told to believe that life isn’t fair, and being “better” than everyone is revered, where does kindness fit it? The May edition 7, Prince’s number, is dedicated to this radical concept of kindness and to our Beloved Prince Rogers Nelson. I invite you to our dialogue; share your stories with us on FaceBook.
Freya C h i e f E d i t o r, Fo u n d e r
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CONTRIBUTORS MIA GR ADY Mia is a professional organizer of business practices. When she isn’t saving businesses from themselves, she is often seen riding her bicycle with her three year old daughter. Mia developed her eye and inspiration from the many places she has lived: WA, OR , Colombia, Guatemala, NM, Spain, UAE, NYC, San Francisco and Minneapolis. She loves inspiring spirits, diverse people and beautiful clothes. Each season she gets excited to share the Carlisle Collection with her friends and community and finds new reasons why they must try the season’s latest fashion pieces. She thrives on making a positive impact in her community thru her career, passion and hobbies..
CLAUDINE MCHIE COOPER Claudine Cooper is a Los Angeles based fitness expert, freelance writer and community health advocate. She’s a multi-tasking, rockstar mama who has created a lifestyle that promotes optimum mental and physical health. Her personal and down to earth tips on fitness, dating, sex, marriage, and overall good health can all be found in her honest memoir: 25 to Life. claudinecooper.com
KITTY AAL Kitty Aal runs the photography and creative writing collective Leggenda and co-edits the Ankara Esoterica project. Director of Programming for the Cinema Revolution Society’s online cinematheque, she has also collaborated with the Carbon Arc Cinema, Ankara Cinema Association and Montreal’s ICPCE on experimental film screenings in Nova Scotia, Ankara & Istanbul. Based in Ankara, Turkey since 2012, she is currently flirting with the muse in Lisbon.
A LY S S A C A M A R A Alyssa has lived and worked in London since 2003. She graduated from UCLA with a BA in Economics and a BS in Applied Mathematics. After a career in Investment Banking in New York she went to Kellogg Business School where she graduated with an MBA in Finance, Marketing and International Business. Alyssa went on to do Institutional Equity Sales and headed up the marketing department at a European Hedge Fund. She has studied at the Lee Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute in New York and completed a writing program in the London School of Journalism in London. She currently writes a travel blog for a UK women’s online community and has written a number of short stories and travel articles. She is currently finishing her first novel.
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CONTRIBUTORS AMY JEANCHAIPHUM Amy is a Minneapolis-based photographer and artist. She has been telling stories since her childhood. Growing up with artist parents and free-spirited friends, Amy brings both a dedication to craft and a unique eye to her shots. Amy loves to create vibrant images that convey love and human connection. For this edition, she set the stage for three women, who have never modeled before, to share their smiles, joy and streght in the Carlisle collection for spring. You can see more and hire her at www.eyelovephot.com
FERIAL PEARSON Ferial was born and raised in Nairobi, Kenya. She is the first in her family to go to college, where she earned a Bachelor’s degree in 2001 in Communication Arts Literature Teaching. Through teaching and a dedication to continued learning, she has dedicated herself to helping children.This passion led her to create Secret Agents of Kindess, a kindess movement elusive teens can rally around. She can be seen speaking: TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=RVnoHV_Id9k and on FB: https://www.facebook.com/The-SecretKindness-Agents-1401513810127822/?fref=ts&ref=br_tf
ERIN SMITH Erin possesses a dry humor, mixed with keen human understanding that makes her one of the funniest people we know. These qualities certainly are rare when combined. With her journalism degree in hand, Erin stands above the fray by avoiding mockery while evoking connection. Erin is also our beloved “staff writer”, “editor at large”, and friend. She is a woman wearing many hats, as so many of us do. In edition 7, she weaves the beautiful story of Dianne, whom we couldn’t wait to introduce you to.
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NOURRIR LONDON “366 Days of Kindness” - A Review of Bernatte Russell BY A LYS S A C A M A R A
Can one act of kindness really make a difference in today’s world? Perhaps not but at least it is a start. This is the premise of “366 Days of Kindness”, a hugely popular project launched in 2011 by Bernadette Russell, a German-born British writer, comedian and performer. Russell is the bestselling author of the accompanying book “366 Days of Kindness” and stars in the sold out theatre show, based on her original concept. In interviews Bernadette Russell speaks passionately about her belief that in order to create a kinder, more open-minded society we must first instill these values in our children, who after all are the youngest members of society. As such, her most recent books “Do Nice, Be Kind, Make Happy: Acts of Kindness for Kids” and “Be the Change, Make it Happen” have been written for children and she visits countless schools to lecture on this topic to teachers, parents and young pupils. In “366 days of Kindness” Bernadette recounts how each day for more than a year she performed a kind deed for someone else, usually a stranger, making a positive impact on people’s lives along the way. Russell’s motivation for 366 Days began initially as a response to the 2011 riots which broke out across England after the London Metropolitan Police shot and killed 29-year old Mark Duggan, a black Tottenham resident and father of four. At the time the police department defended itself stating Mark Duggan had been on their watch list as a possible drug trafficker and gang member and that the shooting was purely out of self-defense - however no clear links with drug trafficking or gangs could be established during the trial. The minicab driver who was driving Duggan when he was pulled over testified there was no evidence of Duggan carrying a weapon nor that he was going to shoot at the police. According to the driver Duggan was simply trying to run away and had his back turned when one police officer identified as “V53” fired two shots, killing him on site. The police report later stated that while no gun was found on Duggan, a firearm was found behind a fence close to the scene and concluded he must have thrown out the weapon before running. When news of the shooting broke on national television, protesters in Tottenham, a borough in London known for its racial tensions, marched to the police department in anger. Subsequent confrontations sparked mass lootings, arson and violence, and within days the riots spread to other parts of London and the UK causing in total five deaths, countless injuries, over 4,000 arrests and 200 million pounds in property damages across Britain. The 2011 riots were a stark reminder that race relations in Britain were just as strained as elsewhere. While progress has been made since to improve race relations in the UK, the world as a whole has become a more violent, less tolerant place. The escalating Syrian refugee crisis in Europe coupled with the recent terrorist attacks on Paris and Brussels and a widening socio-economic gap in major EU cities have resulted in heightened racial tensions and religious biases. The world does not always seem like a kind place these days. Bernadette Russell’s books on kindness are a refreshing reminder that by simply putting a smile on someone’s face, one has the power to change things and pave the way for a kinder world.
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TWO BUDGETS: FRUGAL For the gal who has champagne tastes on a shoestring budget - looks for under $100 MAY ’ S THEME: KINDNESS
Zacoo Office Blazer, $12
Up Pom Pom Sandel, ASOS $44
Flower Print Maxi Dress $21
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TWO BUDGETS: SPENDY For the woman who has capital to invest in a chic wardrobe - looks for under $1000 MAY ’ S THEME: KINDNESS
Zimmermann Tamer Bustier, $200
Zimmermann Empire Raw Linen Pants, $480
Zimmermann Filigree Sandal, $475
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NOURRIR INSPIRATION Secret Agents of Kindess BY FERIAL PEARSON
On December 12, 2014, I learned of the horrific deaths of twenty kindergarteners and six of their teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newport, Connecticut. Avielle Richman was one of the little girls murdered that day and she was just like my own daughter, the same age as her at the time, and they had the same bouncing brown curls, bright curious eyes, loving nature, kind heart, and friendly spirit. I had a connection to Avielle’s mother, Jennifer, and I imagined what it was like for her to lose her baby in such a tragic way. It was excruciating and I cried until there were no tears left to cry. In the decade and a half that I have been a teacher, I have taught thousands of students, and I have only ever been truly afraid of two or three of them. I will never forget how it felt every time they put their hands in their hoodies or backpacks and I would think, “This is it. Today we die. This is how my life ends.” Luckily, that never happened, but I had grown used to the feeling of being resigned that it would probably happen one day. However, I had never thought that it might happen to my children. I was not used to being terrified that my child might be murdered in her school, a place she loves, hallways that she literally skips through because running isn’t allowed, a place where active shooter training has now become commonplace. This new feeling was what stripped my soul of nourishment and left it starving and desperate. My children asked me why someone would kill small children and I didn’t have an answer. My nine year old son said that whenever he was bullied in school, he would get angry and feel like lashing out, getting revenge, or just being mean to the next person he saw, but that someone would be kind to him at the last minute, and the feeling would go away enough that he didn’t feel like hurting anyone anymore. My daughter was listening and said, “What if people had always been kind to the shooter his whole life? Maybe he wouldn’t have done it.” She had a point, simple A Tale of Two Wolves and naïve as it might be, and I thought hard about it. I needed to hold on to something in order to go back to work and send my children back to school after winter break. I devised a plan in which I would offer my juniors at the high school the choice to draw a random act of kindness assignment from an envelope to carry out anonymously at school so that we could make our school just a bit kinder and hopefully prevent such a tragedy from happening there. I told them it was optional and that I would give them a prize if they did it. My juniors were not fans of my lackadaisical approach to this project. They disagreed with the idea of choice and prizes; we had decided as a class that we should go all in on projects, and we had talked about kindness not really being unselfish if we expected thanks or a reward. What this meant, they said, was that we ALL had to draw an assignment every week, including me, without expectation of thanks or rewards. We brainstormed a list of random acts of kindness that didn’t cost any money and that could be performed within the school grounds (since that was the community we wanted to affect), gave each other Secret Kindness Agent names (mine is Agent Mama Beast), wrote an oath and created a set of risks, and I created an envelope for each assignment. Every week, we had a ceremony where I would play a cheesy social justice song while each Agent came up, drew an assignment quietly, and then we would recite our oath and the set of risks, and finally, they would take a week to carry out the assignment. After the first week, we added a quick journal entry about what happened, how we felt before, and how we felt after we did our assignment. I wanted to see how this project would nourish my students. I yearned for it to nourish me.
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In the middle of the semester, I came across a Cherokee tale that perfectly framed what we were doing, and I shared it with the students. It changed the way we thought about other people and ourselves. One evening, an elderly brave told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one that you feed.” We talked about this tale and decided that our acts of kindness not only fed our good wolves, but also the good wolves of the people who were recipients of our kindness. We noticed them and ourselves being nicer because we felt better. Our good wolves were gaining on our evil wolves. We had all been the bully and the bullied, the kind and the unkind. We decided that no one is truly good or truly evil and that when we had been told by people to be friends with someone or not to be because they were “a good person” or a “bad person” it was a myth; everyone is both. Our Secret Kindness Agents project gained strength and we were constantly looking for ways to feed all those wolves; to nourish our souls.
Full Story: http://bit.ly/Lfet7D
I never could have imagined the many wonderful impacts our project would have. One of our Agents wrote a letter to an administrator who had been struggling that day and received a thank you note; this note made her a believer in five-minute acts of kindness changing the course of someone’s day. Another Agent caused a ripple effect that allowed her to anonymously give $25 cash to nine different students in the school through matching gifts from adults she never even met who were inspired by her kindness. Yet another Agent, who had attempted suicide 14 times because he was bullied for being the only openly gay student in the school, was holding his head high and making friends he never knew he could make. Another Agent, who believes that being gay is a sin because of his religious beliefs, vowed to speak up for him and protect him because he deserves to be safe and respected. We became a family who continue to speak up for each other, support each other, and continue our project throughout the different spaces in our lives.
The impact of The Secret Kindness Agents has spread beyond our school and the timeline of our project in the three years since we began it. The students have since graduated and scattered, but we have a book that we published as a “how to” for whoever wants to do the project. I did a TEDx Talk and our Facebook page, The Secret Kindness Agents, has almost three thousand “likes” on it, and is growing daily. I have presented twice at the Annual Nebraska School Counselors Association Academy to a packed house, at Wisconsin Pride, at book clubs, and even in a church. Most importantly, I have been invited to help over 25 schools and organizations do what we did. A young girl in a local elementary school, whose mother is dying from cancer, had been acting up, but when called by her Agent name, gains back a sense of control and focuses her energy on being kind to others. Teachers have written to me and on social media about how the project has renewed their energy for teaching young people, and even more than that, given them back their faith in humanity, much like it did for me. Student leaders have heard me speak and have since started Secret Kindness Agents Clubs at their schools. They come to our events to help people experiencing homelessness, and they write to me about how it makes them understand the things they take for granted in life. We are nourishing thousands of souls, and continuing to nourish our own. It seems everyone else is yearning for the same thing as us, and it doesn’t take money, power, fame, or popularity to do it. So what are you waiting for? Join us.
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LUSTS & MUSTS Here are five things we’re obsessed with this month - don’t say we didn’t warn you.
G I F T S TO G I V E
Uplift Earphones by The House of Marley BOOKS
Secret Agents of Kindess, Ferial MUSIC
Ferial tells us all about her inspiration from tragedy to start her kindness movement.
Sometimes it Snows in April
Want a little Marley in your ears at all time? Now you can. These beauties are eco-friendly made from upcycled, recycled and eco-friendly materials. Our business calls are taken with these headphones, no need to compromise quality or style for green and charitable. Product Sales support 1love.org, an example of kind commerce.
by Prince Rogers Nelson How to choose one album, song or release of the musical genius, Prince Rogers Nelson? More than just melodies and notes, his sound changed a generation and changed the world. Mind boggling, inspiring lyrics such as, “I’m not a woman, I’m not a man. I am something that you’’ll never understand.”, “If I was your girlfriend, would U remember 2 tell me all the things U forgot when I was UR man?”. Under the Cherry Moon , a movie and musical soundtrack, brought us the title song: Under the Cherry Moon. He sings, “I want to live life to the ulitmate high. Maybe I’ll die young like heroes die.” Our hearts break.
A PP S
Stop!T The anti-bullying app. Bullying continues to plague schools and workplaces around the world: 22% of school kids will report bullying every year AND 64% of children bullied will NOT report. Stagering, right? Stop!T provides real time reporting and messaging to give power back to the abused!
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E V EN T S
Seydou Keita Paris Galeries Nationales du Grand Palais Celebrate the great, late, Malian photographer at this sweeping representation of his works. 300 portraits to explore until July 24, 2016. A must see.
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NOURRIR FRIENDSHIP Mocha Moms BY CLAUDINE COOPER
Thirty-two women, of various shades of brown, sat in a circular formation. The ladies filled their plates with appetizers and chatted amongst themselves. They settled into the comfy sofas and sipped wine from plastic glasses. The monthly Mocha Mom meetings rotate through the homes of the members. It was Mocha Mom Tisha’s turn to host. The afternoon sunlight poured through the floor to ceiling windows and shined a natural light on a room full of diverse beauties. As the moms clambered into the living room, the ladies began their formal introductions. Each mother was asked to state her name and tell the group how she became a Mocha Mom. “I am Valerie. Almost ten years ago, Layla told me to join Mocha Moms while I was pregnant. She knows I’m greedy and she knew I would want the post-natal meal delivery support. It has been so much more than I ever expected. Mocha Moms truly feels like family.” “I am Shmel. My son is one. Claudine is my trainer at the gym and she tells everyone about Mocha Moms. I mean, I swear I wanted to be a Mocha Mom LONG before I was even a mom. I was already MOCHA, but I just didn’t have the mom piece until now.” The room erupted in laughter and high fives and the stories continued to unfold. “I am Grace and I was invited by Maygan. Today is my first meeting and I am really happy to be here.” Each woman passionately recounted the how and why of joining The Los Angeles Chapter of Mocha Moms. Each experience was as different as their skin tones, but the ladies of Mocha Moms share a common bond: the sisterhood of their African-American culture. As the lively introductions came to a close, a fair-haired woman tentatively stepped out of the kitchen and stood on the outside of the living room cypher. All sixty-four eyes were intently focused on her, so she stated the obvious, “I am Catherine and I am WHITE.” Although every mom has her own account as to how she entered this national organization, there are no specific rites of passage. There are no hazing tactics involved. Joining Mocha Moms is actually fairly simple. Anyone can go online, click the link to join Mocha Moms, choose a chapter, pay a mere fifty bucks and TA-DA: Instant Mocha Mom! The mission of Mocha Moms is to “connect mothers of color with each other.” Although the mission is clear, the website states that “Mocha Moms, Inc. is a 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organization. Mocha Moms, Inc. does not discriminate on the basis of race, ethnicity, gender, socio-economic level, education, or religion. Anyone who supports the mission and purpose of Mocha Moms, Inc. is welcome to join.” Catherine is White and Catherine is a Mocha Mom. She openly explained herself to this group of sisters and the look of confusion slowly began to soften. With humility and candor, Catherine shared her story. “My husband and I recently relocated to Southern California and we are the proud parents of a two year old African-American son. Although he is adopted, we would like him to be closely acquainted with his culture, which is why I joined Mocha Moms. Quite frankly, I am honored and thankful that you have allowed me to be inside of this sacred space. I am so nervous that I am shaking, but I am simply here to learn how to be a better mother to my AfricanAmerican son.”
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In that moment, the chapter president, Lorina Kelly, took a powerful stand. She got out of her chair and lovingly approached Mocha Mom Catherine. She opened her arms and embraced the newest member of Mocha Moms. As tears welled and hearts swelled, each mother warmly welcomed a White mother into their “sacred space.” Some offered hugs, while others lent an encouraging word, and one mom knew exactly what Catherine needed…she handed her a glass of wine. The “ice” was broken and the conversation flowed as freely as the wine, so what is the big deal about a White woman joining Mocha Moms? In 1997, Mocha Moms was developed by mothers of color for mothers of color. Back then, the mission was to support the “stay at home mom of color.” According to Mocha Mom Dieema Wheaton, “It was tough being a stay at home mom at first. I mean, I never intended to leave my career. Hell, I worked hard for that title and a baby wasn’t gonna strip me of my hard work. But when the pregnancy was complicated and the nanny was shady, I realized that leaving my career was actually the best choice. My husband and I made the necessary financial adjustments, but once I was an official stay at home mom, I realized that there weren’t too many other brown moms at Gymboree. I needed some friends and I needed support, so I joined Mocha Moms. It has been such a blessing and I have been an active member for over eleven years. All three of my children were delivered by cesarean and each time I arrived home from the hospital, the Mocha Moms brought a week’s worth of meals for my family. That kind of support is priceless.” Mocha Moms is famous for their meal delivery support, but the “mochas” also offer support to underserved communities. There are annual food drives, support for victims of domestic violence, visits to convalescent homes, and an ongoing literacy campaign. On their journey through motherhood, Mocha Moms rely heavily on the support of their African American sisters, but can a non-Black sister offer the same support? Mocha Mom Layla Sewell fought back the tears as she spoke about the support she received after the birth of her premature baby, “Mocha Moms is a healing organization. We talk about being stressed the F*&^ out and it’s okay to share openly, because you are amongst women who understand you. There is sharing without the fear of being judged. It’s a safe place to say ‘I don’t feel like being a mom today.’ There is an openness that we have with one another. Honestly, I don’t ever see myself NOT being a member of Mocha Moms. Even though members come and members go and the leadership changes, we always get the support we need. We all have times when we need support. When I had my first child, she was a preemie and the Mocha Moms were really there for me. They just stepped in ways that…I’m getting a little choked up. It’s just unspeakable support.” There are support groups for every brand of mothering. It doesn’t take much more than a thirty second google search to find a local parenting support group. There are groups for moms of multiples, moms of mixed children, moms of pre-schoolers and countless other mommy support systems, so how do the mocha moms feel about opening up their “sacred space?” After the meeting, Mocha Mom Tisha Greene spent some time bonding with Mocha Mom Catherine. “It was interesting to talk to the new mother about the state of raising a young black male in our current cultural climate. She has a unique experience, because she may not have been keyed into the concerns that we < as Black women > have always had, but she now realizes that her cute little Black two year old will soon grow up to be a Black teenage boy. The fears, the adversaries and the realities are exactly the same for her as they are for us. Raising a child of color comes with specific challenges and I commend her for attempting to widen her point of view. Her eyes - as a mother - are now seeing the same things that our eyes see. She is looking through the lens of a mother of an African-American son.” Motherhood is the great equalizer and this group of “sistas” warmly welcomed Mocha Mom Catherine into the fold, because support has no color.
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NOURRIR SPOTLIGHT The Incredible Dianne Bondy BY ERIN SMITH PHOTOS BY SARIT Z. ROGERS
Dianne Bondy doesn’t mold to anyone’s standards or dictates. In the westernized “traditional” yoga scene, she stands as a leader for body positivity and #everybodyisayogabody. Canadian born, Barbadian heritage, Dianne is a “plus-sized” yoga powerhouse with an incredibly successful and well followed online yoga studio www.yogasteya.com. Main stream media has touted Diane as woman who is breaking the mold, creating headlines with buzzworthy, albeit patronizing phrases regarding curvy bodies and the non-traditional plus-sized body type of a yoga teacher. In many ways her notoriety is inspiring and feels overdue, as a fellow woman and humanitarian. Yet it’s a tremendously limiting definition of who she is and that her being a curvy woman of color is reason for her to be profiled at all, rather than her work. She is taking it into her own hands, one modified pose at a time.
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When I asked Diane about this she said: “I hope one day I won’t be identified as a plus sized yoga teacher, but as just...a yoga teacher.” We are in the midst of progressive change around body image, woman in leadership, political correctness and non-political correctness. And in many ways, this being one, Diane’s body size is an unnecessary qualifier. Why isn’t the conversation about Dianne Bondy the enigmatic yoga instructor, outside of her being a woman of color and plus-sized? It’s the same reason I would never describe my boss a successful Native American, or my accountant as an astute Hispanic.
vital to the human experience. But from there, true equality becomes not labeling Dianne for all the reasons we wanted to in the first place. For the same reason many of us embraced and fought hard for marriage equality, an issue that has made tremendous strides in just a few short years. Now, when we speak about my sister, friend, parent, we don’t qualify: my lesbian/gay/etc. sister. When we talk about our neighbor, we don’t say: the gay business owner. The identifier has become obsolete, which in an effort to include and embrace, continues to categorize as an outlying group.
It’s important to talk about. The progress and equality that’s been missing in these conversations has been lacking in the least, unacceptable at best. This is not news. If you’re a person living in 21st century you’re acutely aware of the disparate advantages and disadvantages across varying groups of people, and the discrimination that is still palpable. A new vocabulary and new patterns are long overdue. For that reason it’s important to discuss and profile people who are able to break outside their identified role and societal expectation. We long for inclusive dialogue; it is
Dianne Bondy has been featured in the some of the most widely read online publications as a woman who is breaking the mold, a curvy woman of color who is a successful and well respected Yoga instructor. We need to hear her story. But then the conversation needs to be about Her. And her accomplishments, her vision, her journey. Not her accomplishments because she’s brown or because she’s not a size two. Those aren’t the characteristics that have defined her success. How should Dianne Bondy be defined instead? As a consciousness shaper, a thought leader, a trailblazer.
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“I hope one day I won’t be identified as a plus sized yoga teacher, but as just ...a yoga teacher.”
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After closing her brick and mortar studio, Dianne started an online yoga platform where she is able to deliver a yoga practice that feels more relatable. Yogasteya.com features instructors and students of varying shapes, sizes and colors. With a concerted effort towards zero judgment and zero intimidation her motto is ‘Come to the mat as you are.’ “I felt trapped in people pleasing,” she says, “and Groupon competition for market share in a saturated market. A yoga studio space can become a clicky club and exclusive.” She goes on to explain that most mainstream yoga studios seem to be designed for the able-bodied and wealthy, “It started to feel inauthentic to me.” Dianne doesn’t exercise and teach Yoga because she hates her body and wants to change it, she does it because she it makes her feel good. Powerful. Steady. Nature revitalizes her so she’ll often do her practice outside. She’s been dismayed by the way the mainstream and big business have twisted the concept of yoga and made it about fitness and standardized inaccessible ideas of beauty. Moving her classes to an online studio made yoga more accessible, affordable and available to larger groups of people who otherwise wouldn’t find it as easy to participate. Moving away from a structural yoga studio has allowed her to diversify how people are looking at yoga, and how they’re able to incorporate it into their lives. Her community is vast and committed, holding one another accountable to their practice and personal achievements. She’s built a village where people share their struggles both on and off the mat. Dianne herself is familiar with struggle. Growing up with a cruel father, she spent most of her 46 years hating herself. Riddled with self-hate, she struggled with an eating disorder, a series of toxic relationships and attempts to harm herself. It took her many years to find a place of contentment and self-acceptance. Her salvation? The philosophy of yoga. The study and discipline helped Dianne see outside her repressive consequences of a toxic relationship with her father and find a place of empowerment. She began to embrace ‘the now’ and understand that, despite being told many times, she was not an innately flawed human being. Her journey in finding yoga was her own deliverance: away from pervasive self- loathing and into harmony, unity and love. And this…she wants to share with others.
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The journey to self- acceptance shaped the driving message behind her yoga practice. “This is a powerful time in the world right now. We have to make a choice on what impact we want to leave. How can we heal the world with love and let go of the hate and greed?” For Dianne the oppression she felt from her own unworthiness and the hardships she saw around her in the form of discrimination, racism, sexism, classism, were two congruent worlds having similar consequence: Perpetual hatred, bigotry, and self-loathing. Her way of combatting that and positively impacting change was to take a disruptive stand. She explains, “People deserve to feel safe and loved. Yoga teaches us unity and discernment.” People who’ve lived the most life and experienced hardship often are ones with the greatest ability to impact others who are carrying similar burdens. Dianne is clear with her intentions – to effect change within yourself and in society, one must move into kindness. She is a woman fierce in her convictions and wise with her words: “Stand in your power and don’t label yourself. You will empower someone else who’s feeling less worthy.”
Dianne Bondy Yoga is ultimately about self-empowerment. Yoga is intended to develop, foster and embrace unity. This theme is consistent through-out: Her yoga practice is about the unification of the mind but also stands as a distinct statement against the social injustices she sees around her- specifically those against people who aren’t white, cis-gendered, wealthy and privileged. Seeing the hatred towards people of color in recent years gave Dianne a wake –up a call she says; “I needed to stand up and say enough. I decided to become a disruptor.” And in that, her yoga teachings are about shifting our consciousness and contributing to a world that invites us all, it is a tool for personal salvation but also for global change. She believes in using the philosophies of yoga to build our awareness around how we treat one another. “I had to create a disruption in what we were seeing and shine a light on injustice,” Dianne explains. Her response? To mobilize the yoga community, to do better, be better and through their practice reflect inclusion and unification. “We can change the world,” she says, “But we have to speak up.”
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NOURRIR FASHION Carlisle: Promoting Independent Women BY MIA HANNAH PHOTOS BY AMY JEANCHAIPHUM
The way we do business has been transforming for the better. Collaboration and access to better information seem to be an integral part of emerging business practices. Kindness is an old practice made new again. Generation Xers and Millennials are willing to pay more for goods from businesses that have humane and environmentally conscience practices and who empower communities worldwide. Kindness honors the sacredness in each person and their journey. Kindness and recognizing the light and beauty in each person is a business practice that is revolutionizing emerging business who are experiencing unprecedented early stage success. There is business in fashion, no doubt. Fashion is also about the expression of the spirit that lives inside each person. What if you could combine kindness and best business practices with your own book of business? Carlisle Collection does just that! Carlisle provides exceptional clothing for outstanding women. All women. Through genuine conversations, friendship and creativity, Carlisle stylists take the time to discover each personâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s light and beauty and then align them with fabric and a styles that best match their spirit. Carlisle stylist know that true beauty comes from within. Many of the stylists experienced kindness and generosity in their first private appointment and had such a transformational experience that they decided they wanted to be a part of movement that provides exceptional clothing to outstanding women too. Carlisle Collection has 4 trunk shows a year, where clients can privately see the collection and collaborate with a stylist to find a style that enhances their beauty. Become a part of the Kindness is Beautiful movement! The company was founded in 1981 by William Rondina, who once worked at Dior/ New York. He is a highly respected designer educated at the Parsons School of Design in New York and the Sorbonne in Paris. He advocates for quality fabril and is proud of the fabric mills in England, France, and Italy from which the company buys. Carlisle also has a rich philanthropy history. Since 1998, Carlisle designs a unique scarf each year to raise money for Susan B Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. To date, they have raised $1.6 billion to support the efforts to help save lives and end breast cancer forever. Enjoy the looks taken from the Spring 2016 Collection.
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â&#x20AC;&#x153;Fashion is also about the expression of the spirit that lives inside each person.â&#x20AC;?
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FINAL THOUGHTS The Year of Living Dangerously BY KITTY AAL
There have been a number of bombings in Turkey over the past few months. In Istanbul. In Ankara. In the South. In what was one of the few relatively stable places in a dangerous neighborhood, the future here is not looking good. They say ISIS and Kurdish extremist groups are behind the explosions that have gone off in tourist areas, public gatherings and crowded bus stops. One is never sure what to believe. In Ankara alone, there was a bomb last October followed by one in February and another in March. The windows of the English school I used to work at in Kizilay were blown out by a bomb detonated across the street. My friend Michael still works there and said that the students were understandably shaken by the event and many were staying away from the school, requesting to transfer to the Çayyolu branch – an innocuous suburb whose bland nature has become more appealing in recent weeks. Michael, a bald Hispanic American with a long beard who often raises eyebrows on the streets of Ankara, is nonplussed by the heightened risk to his daily work routine. His wife Buffy (or “Pafy” according to her Ankara Starbucks cups), on the other hand, is not amused with the situation. She wants him to quit or change locations – anything to distance himself from downtown Ankara where rumors fly on a regular basis about where the next attack will be. Michael said that while the Turkish students are understandably rattled, the new batch of young Syrian students (on scholarship from a charity that is paying for them to learn English in preparation for medical school in Bosnia) come every single day without exception, undeterred by the possible threats diligently and graciously devoting themselves to their studies. Istanbul has the glorious Hagia Sophia and Ankara has an obscene number of shopping malls. It’s where people flock to not only to shop and see movies, but to relax in a “safe” environment where their kids can run around freely in contained sterile bliss. Due to bomb threats in the distant past, most malls have some sort of security at the doors (metal detectors that may or may not be turned on, a guard with glazed-over eyes etc.), but no one really took them seriously before. You walk in and they have you put your bag or purse on a table as you walk through the metal detector and then pick up your bag on the other side. Often though, nothing happens to your bag. It just sits on the table – no x-ray machine, no search of its contents. Very odd. Anyways, these days malls have become targets and the security system has come back to life. Trunks are now being searched as you drive into the underground parking lots. Turkish citizens have been dealing with the threat of bombs since the mid-1980s, although things had gotten quieter in recent years (with the great exception of cities and towns in the Southeast that still experience violence on a regular basis). Then in 2013 there was a period of widespread and often violent anti-government protests that were sparked in Gezi Park in Istanbul. During that time avoiding water cannons and tear gas temporarily became part of daily life if you lived or worked in the center of Turkey’s larger cities. Alongside the flurry of activity that accompanied this intense time, was a general sense of nonchalance towards the idea of personal risk from the public at large. I believe this comes from being a large country in a volatile neighborhood where drama and risk become something you can’t be surprised by. Most people don’t have the luxury to stop everything and hide inside until the dust settles. Life goes on much as usual in all areas not physically affected by the drama. This time around, though, with the escalating number of bombs by different perpetrators combined with a belligerent response from the government, people seem to be affected differently. There is a greater sense of uncertainty in the air, and it is interesting to observed the various responses to it. Some, like myself, have chosen to stay close to home, not venturing out into the more crowded parts of the city as much as before. Others, such as 3 American colleagues of my husband, have decided to not succumb to the anxiety and have continued to go to their Turkish classes in the heart of the city, and to attend concerts, gallery openings and dance performances as though nothing has changed. It is now mid April and Ankara has been spared any new bombs. Things are starting to feel normal again. I’m reminded of a line from the 1995 French movie La Haine where the main character living in a precarious situation keeps repeating to himself “Jusqu'ici tout va bien.” So far, so good. I suppose that’s all we can do.
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Can’t get enough of Nourrir? Check out last month’s issue. It was a good one.
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