Fair Game?

By: Shaista Khurshid, Calgary Alberta

Our environment and upbringing are building blocks of our personalities. Whatever we think or believe is rooted in our background. We pick up sub conscious clues from around us. These end up forming our embedded behaviours and thoughts. Then, our education, faith, family and our experiences make up our mindset. An example of how these influences translate into our mindset is our attitudes towards people with darker skin color.

Like patriarchy, the value or superiority associated with fair skin has been rooted into our psyche for at least a century, maybe more. Interestingly, when we think of fair skin, we also associate it with righteousness, virtue and sincerity.

This obsession with skin color is not new. As Muslims, we are ordained to believe and treat everyone as our equals, brother and sister. For us, superiority does not lie in color, race, education or any worldly thing; it lies in Taqwa and righteousness. How did we go from nurturing Taqwa in ourselves, to judging people based on color, race, beauty or youth?

Regardless, we have our fair share of racist and biased attitudes. One of them is preferring fairer women over darker ones. The representation of fairer skin over darker in any print or digital media, e.g. television, advertisement, movies, is alarmingly disproportionate. This representation in the media reinforces the idea of a preferred skin color.

The shade of human skin does not determine his or her personality or conduct, but somehow, we have gotten preoccupied with bizarre beauty standards. These criteria affect people’s lives in many ways. In some societies, it determines the possibility of getting a suitable partner. The sad thing about this affair is that women are judged on unchangeable Godgiven attributes, while men are judged on acquired aspects, like an education or a well-paying job.

Our absurd attitudes also target age. While men are considered viable even at their older age, women are given a much shorter expiry date. Our society determines the age where a female person can be discarded, or at least set aside. The reason given is that younger women are easily adjustable, malleable, and assimilate quickly into the conformity of their husband’s home.

Our society is obsessed with superficiality. We are infatuated with an unrealistic standard of beauty and youth. The growth of plastic surgeries throughout the world validates this notion. There is also a booming market of cosmetics and treatments for flawless skin, toned bodies that cater to our desire to look young and beautiful.

Alarmingly, younger and younger audiences are getting this message. These young girls and women feel pressured to conform and change their appearances to look young and beautiful. We are losing our youth to this insanity. Instead of being allowed to be kids and to build their mind and character, they are anxious to get ahead in this never ending race, in which no one is the winner.

This horrendous, trivial competition does not benefit anyone but the cosmetic industry. In this race, everyone is a loser. As we all fixate towards it, society’s goal of maintaining a happy and healthy environment for people, goes down the drain, as everyone runs behind abstract ideals of vanity.

We must understand as life goes on, things change. If we look at ourselves two decades back, we will look different than now. We are living breathing humans; we change, and that is our beauty. When a leaf is a bud, it is different from the full-grown leaf. As it grows, and seasons change, it changes its color and later falls from the tree. This is the cycle of life. Everything ceases; beauty diminishes, color fades, fat accumulates, body weakens. However, character and goodness of the heart can grow and earn us the eternal beauty of paradise.

What is the antidote to our obsessions? Instead of asking the mirror "Who is the fairest of them all?" - Dig deeper.

• Understand who we are and the purpose of our creation.

• Respect Allah’s creation the way it is created - not the way we want it to be.

• Stop making judgements and selections based on superficiality. Instead, dive into finding meaningful relationships.

• Be a service to the creation of God, even if it is as simple as keeping them from our evil.

• Be thankful for what we are given as we are all the design of The Greatest. Allah knows how to create and design His beloved creation, human beings!

Photo By Andy Kelly on Unsplash