Me Myself & I

Part 2: Story of Narcissism, from both Greek & Islamic Perspectives

By: Fozia Khan, Mississauga, Ontario

There is an old story, steeped in symbolism, revealing aspects about self perception -- or even the opposite — revealing lessons about the lack of perception about oneself and others. This lack of true self perception is the story of a young man, Narcissus (where the word and concept of Narcissism originates from), that unveils his pattern of thinking, feeling and behaving, and the punishment he endures as a consequence. It carries tremendous insights about the spiritual psychology of self, what to avoid, and why it is necessary to shift certain personal and collective narcissistic perspectives: because they can be neglectful and harmful to one’s self, and one’s interpersonal relationships, with the world and the Divine.

We see how the elements of his story personify character traits of one who lacks the qualities of deeper awareness, humility and gratitude:

Narcissus was a youth gifted with tremendous beauty, and all admired him for his beauty. He found himself so beautiful that he admired himself constantly. He caught sight of his reflection by still waters and began to admire himself and only himself, falling deeply in love with his image. He had no regard for those who loved him, nor regard for any other concern except to please himself with his own image. His beauty and love were superficial, skin deep, not one of beautiful character and conduct, nor of being able to see another and show love, respect and care to others. He attributed his gifts of beauty to his own self. This is called Hubris, or self-pride, and arrogance, the greatest sin in ancient days. He did not feel gratitude for the gift of his beauty given from above. As a result of his hubris, a being called Nemesis was sent to lay a curse on him, for his sin. The curse was that he could not turn away from his reflection, but to forever endure looking at a shallow image of himself. He died looking at his own reflection, and where he died there grew flowers called Narcissus as a reminder of his self-obsession.

(Buxton, Richard. “The Complete World of Greek Mythology.” 2004 Thames & Hudson Ltd, London)

We begin by first very earnestly emphasizing and appreciating that stories of old are steeped with symbolic happenings that teach greater truths about the world, about the self, the self in the world, or even the world mirrored in the self. Primarily, as Muslims we are concerned with our relationship to God, and all other relationships help us to better understand this primary relationship as God conscious beings who have trust in and reliance on Allah.

All cultures tell stories to understand the world and to pass on teachings generation after generation providing a continuity of beliefs, values and lessons helping individuals and communities resiliently survive the tests and trials of the world, to see the pattern of something greater in the events of everyday happenings. These stories helped to contribute to psychological resilience in one’s self and community throughout time. Partly, on why there might be greater difficulties handling anxieties and depression in our times, it may be because we have been somewhat disconnected from traditions, spiritual values and stories with deep insights that elders taught that were passed down since time immemorial. There has been a judgment by those only expounding science and modern atheistic philosophies that these stories are quaint, have no meaning nor utility to them for serving humanity, or are purely artistic. It has been mentioned time and time again that when we don’t have our elders, or lose connection to traditional spiritual teachings due to an atheistic modern culture that seemingly doesn’t value tradition and moral teaching stories, there is a sense of a loss of spiritual introspection, continuity and meaning about events in our lives.

“If the conscious mind does not contain such categories of understanding – religious concepts, mythological concept it will have no bridge to the deeper psychic layers. In such a case, the conscious mind will be either totally alienated from its psychic depths or it will be identified with them. Without a conception of God, for example, we are apt to behave as though we were God ourselves. Of course, this is not a conscious thought, but in behaviour and reactivity the ego is likely to identify with the very thing that it has no way to conceive of in this case divinity.”

(Edinger, Edward F. (1994) “The Eternal Drama: The Inner Meaning of Greek Mythology.”)

Alhumdulillah, we still have access to our teachings in the Qur’an. We are indeed taught to remember Allah and revere the Word he sent, because Allah too teaches us through stories or analogies, engaging our imagination to reflect. We are taught to look into the world and observe signs, inside and outside of ourselves. Allah builds our psycho-spiritual identity through the penetrating imagery of the verses of the Qur’an. The Qur’an is brimming with stories of teaching, where Allah speaks about the Prophets, and the world He created, the creatures He created, and how He created us to have a relationship with Him in the world with other creations. He tells us He is the Lord of Mercy and Compassion, reminding us again, and again to vigilantly practice love and mercy between our hearts, and to place boundaries on things that take away from or that interfere with this priceless awareness.

These stories are sacred in the greater truths they reveal, meaning they are full of deep profound, penetrating insights about an aspect of life that is meant to be approached with awe and reverence, full of beauty and lessons about what it means to be human, as creatures created by Allah, for Allah. Allah says essentially that we are created to remember Him, to worship Him and to look into the world for His signs (ayaat). Allah’s signs are also in these stories, which take our imagination into the very real presence of what happened before our time, and what the experiences were for our beloved Prophets, Allah have mercy and peace upon their souls. Ameen.

As in the Islamic Tradition, there are stories told too of old from other people and communities that spoke of universal truths that explain what it means to be a human being, and how to humbly live in the world as an individual, but also as an individual with others, as a part of a community. These stories are a part of the customs and values of the people of those lands, often being a source of laws. The stories that help teach us about our role and place in the world are of even greater significance.

The story of Narcissus comes to us from Unani, or Greek cultures. The Unani collection of knowledge predates Islam, including its medicines, philosophy and mythology. The Muslim world carried this knowledge forward with respect and curiosity for ancient wisdom, preserving and putting into practice the ideas that resonated with the over arching principles of what our tradition taught. Muslims have always had a deep respect for knowledge and wisdom, as exemplified by the Prophet (SAW), and many of his sayings demonstrate that. We have a growing interest in psychological insights these ancient stories offer as they parallel scriptural stories, and why delving into the psychological truths of the stories of cultures has certain medicinal and therapeutic benefits.

With deeply reflective reading, we can begin to see how this mythological story exemplifies self-obsessive character traits, what we discovered about Narcissism, and its extreme pathology called Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Our understanding of this story is further enhanced by what we know of Shaytaan’s traits: his excessive pride and self-obsession, disregard for Allah’s commands and considering himself better than Adam (AS). He asked for permission to pull, and distract humanity away from God. When we forget God, we become prideful like Shaytaan. When we forget Allah, we begin to worship aspects of the image of ourselves that distance us from Allah and alienate us from our better selves and others in our lives. Moreover, we lose a sense of reverence and gratitude for the blessings Allah has bestowed. In a sense, Narcissus very much follows the example of turning away, pride, and disobedience that is described about Shaytaan, and we begin to see a picture of forgetfulness of one’s identity.

The Qur’an mentions other narcissistic archetypes with similar psychological profiles whom we are already very familiar with, such as Pharoah and his arrogance, Nimrod at his prideful audacity, Abu Lahab and Abu Jahl at their hostile behaviour to the Prophet (SAW). We can see these traits that appear in different individuals, and we become aware that many of these people had no concern for the welfare of any other, except their own. They only see themselves and desire to fulfill their own needs with contempt for others. They have been veiled from seeing Allah.

But, when we turn toward Allah, we remember our identity as creation of Allah, with a pure and primordial identity and nature, a fitra, and this helps us conceptualize our reality in constant remembrance of Allah, also in relation to the rest of creation. We do this by connecting to the stories in the Qur’an, and other stories that remind us about internal spiritual challenges on the level of the soul or psyche. Narcissus could not see his whole self, deeper than his superficial traits. He also could not see the needs of anyone other than beside himself. He was cursed with complete delusion.

One could say narcissism is a disease or discomfort brought on by neglect and forgetfulness of the true meaning of being a human being in an attentive, loving and respectful relationship with others, in mutual care and concern for each other’s well being. The Prophet of God, RasulAllah (SAW) said that he was sent to teach us manners. Arrogance, pride and self-obsession are characteristic of Narcissus, and also Shaytaan, and the other individuals mentioned earlier, their stories demonstrate how they were deficient in manners. This is a lesson for us to attend to always and vigilantly - manners towards God, others, and one’s self.

Next time, we will begin to examine aspects of the soul, or nafs, as understood by Islamic Psychology, and what our tradition teaches us to help prevent narcissistic character traits from developing, and what remedies it offers. Narcissistic abuse is very serious and has a terrible impact on the lives of many. Therefore a case study of a woman in an abusive relationship will also be offered for reflection.

Further Reading:

“Narcissism: Denial of the True Self,” by Alexander Lowen, M.D

.“From Victim to Victor: Narcissism Survival Guide,” by Dr. Mariette Jansen

“But It’s Your Family…: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath” by Dr. Sherrie Campbell

“Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Dr. Sue Johnson

“Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships.” By Dr. Sue Johnson

(Buxton, Richard. “The Complete World of Greek Mythology.” 2004 Thames & Hudson Ltd, London)

(Edinger, Edward F. (1994) “The Eternal Drama: The Inner Meaning of Greek Mythology.”)

Reference:Guarino, G. (2019, July 8th). The Different Types Of Narcissism. Psych Point. https://www.psychpoint.com/mental-health/articles/the-different-types-of-narcissism/

Photo by Zane Lee on Unsplash