Awakening by The Avenue Magazine

SPRING 2021

VOLUME 13

the avenue

AWAKENING

Copenhagen's Call for Sustainability — The Dark Side of Cottagecore — The Routine of Routines — The Hobby That Awoke Something in Me — Wonder — Rise of the Bimbo— Kid Super and the Rise of Independent Fashion Brands — The Resurgence of Thinspiration — The Conscious World of Stine Goya — The Art of Waking Up Like This — Renaissance — Queer Coding: Using Beauty to Foster Identity — Hairy? Yes We Are… and We Like It — Androgyny in Our Nails — The Allure of Disposable Cameras — Convergence — The Moment for Mindfulness — The Ink of Our Skin — A Letter to My Mother — No Really, How Are You?

the avenue EDITORS IN CHIEF Kelly Fleming, Allie Kuo

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Simran Gvalani

DESIGN DIRECTOR Olivianne Iriarte

MANAGING EDITOR Madelaine Millar

ASSOCIATE CREATIVE DIRECTOR Kaela Anderson

DESIGN ASSOCIATE Renee Pearce

FASHION EDITOR Marisa Rose Goolgasian BEAUTY EDITOR Lily Elwood LIFESTYLE EDITOR Maddie Casey

PHOTO DIRECTOR Calem Robertson

SOCIAL MEDIA DESIGN Elena Boggio

ASSOCIATE PHOTO DIRECTOR Aung Thant Kyaw

WOMENSWEAR HEAD STYLIST Hillary Nana-Adjei

PRODUCTION MANAGER Phoebe Lasater

WRITERS Maxine An, Madison Bohne, Martina Colzi Risaliti, Aanchal Dharmani, Anjali Dhawan, Lily Elwood, Rachel Erwin, Husein Esufally, Meghna Iyer, Ellie Maclean, Alexandra Nieto, Ruhani Nigam, Winnie Phebus, Elena Plumb, Medha Shah, Emma van Guens, Elsie Wang, Zach Weiss PHOTOGRAPHERS Aishazhan Abuova, Jordan Alves, Becca Bricachek, Serena Buscarello, Ina Chu, Estelle de Zan, Emily Gringorten, Hillary Nana-Adjej, Olivia Robbins, Nicole Rubin, Azra Schorr, Ruby Trvalik, Lauren Walsh, Ken Yin DESIGNERS Kimmy Curry, Lila Hathaway, Claire Higgins, Olivianne Iriarte, Phoebe Lasater, Renee Pearce, Tanya Kler, Thandiwe Tembo, Jack Vogelsang, Zach Weiss

MENSWEAR HEAD STYLIST Aidan Baglivo

COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR Muylin Loh COMMUNICATIONS ASSOCIATE Azra Schorr WEB EDITOR Dipshika Chawla PRESIDENT Sara Chen TREASURER Camryn McAllister SECRETARY Maxine An

MODELS Sophia Akhter, Maxine An, Kaela Anderson, Sam A-Rahim, Shreya Basireddy, Nathan Castro, Brittany Clottey, Kimmy Curry, Estelle de Zan, Aanchal Dharmani, Anjali Dhawan, Rachel Erwin, Husein Esufally, Zak Ganhadeiro, Emily Greenberg, David Guzov, Meghna Iyer, Masha Johansen, Sam Krot, Claire Lee, Coco Lheritier, Adriana Messina, Alexandra Nieto, Mi’Angela Plater, Alyssa Spaeth, Chloe Strandwold, Alayna Thomas, Noah Wendel, Kevin Zhang STYLISTS Aidan Baglivo, Quirin Emanga, Cara O’Hanlon, Marisa Goolgasian, Hillary Nana-Adjei, Nell Sweeney, Maggie Van Nortwick MAKEUP ARTIST Azra Schorr

letter from the editors I am not usually a morning person, but I can be if I have to. Like waking up early pre-pandemic days. I’m never cranky or irritable in the morning, but waking up does not come easy to me. I love my beauty sleep. But there have been many mornings in my life where I’m glad I didn’t hit snooze on my pre-dawn alarm. And being able to see the sunrise is usually the reason. There is something so magical about watching the night disappear into the morning, especially in a cloudless sky. You don’t notice that anything is changing until suddenly, nature’s gentlest gradient is in front of you. But of course, it’s been gradually changing all along. Your eyes don’t pick it up until there is enough light and color to alert you that the sun is on its way. And on a cloudy morning, when you can’t see the sun make her grand entrance, the world around you still lightens up — even if it is from a darker gray to a lighter

Of course, there are people whose days start well before the sun is even up. Bus drivers, nurses, bakers, parents. Not everyone has the privilege of choosing to be vibrant sunrises blazing with joy. Some mornings are forced upon us, when all we want are a few more moments before confronting the stretch of day before us.

through our body, maybe the morning isn’t too bad. The day awaits.

ALLIE KUO, CO - EDITOR IN CHIEF

AWA K E N I N G When The Avenue team met in January to pick this semester’s theme, we were all unknowingly in consensus before we even joined the Zoom call. As each of us pitched our ideas, a common theme quickly became apparent. Revival, rebirth, renewal… AWAKENING. This theme feels like a natural progression from DISRUPT, as we move forward with renewed hope and the lessons we’ve learned from the chaos of 2020. I’d encourage our readers to examine an awakening in two ways: as the act of waking up, and the act of becoming aware. The way we wake up in the morning can set up how we feel for the rest of the day. Simple acts such as a morning our larger goals. Daily self-care is an essential step in your path to success — taking time for ourselves allows us to face each day with an extra dose of optimism. An awakening can also be a life-changing moment of realization, one that can alter your values and goals on an integral level. We have all experienced several awakenings throughout the pandemic, big and small. These moments look like addressing mental health issues that were neglected in a whirlwind of assignments, realizing a responsibility and passion for activism, or getting to know family members more intimately than ever before. The hardships we encountered in 2020 have changed who we are on a fundamental level, making us more resilient, caring, and adaptable individuals. We hope this issue serves as a time capsule of the awakenings we have collectively experienced over the past year. We must remind ourselves to carry our new dreams, relationships, and realizations with us as we leave the pandemic behind for a brighter future. Remember to take breaks, do not forget to advocate for justice, and appreciate each precious moment we can spend with each other.

KELLY FLEMING, CO - EDITOR IN CHIEF

A rude awakening , a a kind awakening , disruptive awakening.

LETTER FROM THE CREATIVE DIRECTOR

A rude awakening, a disruptive awakening, a kind awakening. Whatever you call it, this year is an extension of last year’s awakening of silence. The vision for AWAKENING was to showcase this intangible state of mind, where we’re still uncomfortable and questioning our realities, but hopefully more inspired to embrace a changing world. AWAKENING is a sign that we need to keep this momentum of resilience and reposition ourselves to adapt in ways that are considerate of our surroundings. Our fall issue, DISRUPT, explored themes of distorted time, nostalgia, and the power of our voices. AWAKENING is an expansion of these themes and explores a sense of self, connection, and rebirth through our visuals. The Avenue is a platform for experimentation in the sense that we are constantly tapping into creative strategies based on the resources we have. I can’t stress enough how talented and incredible the Creative team is and how grateful I am to have gotten the opportunity to work with The Avenue team as a whole. We truly stuck it out, from endless Zoom calls to frostbite at shoots in the freezing cold — the pain slightly lessened from a pre-shoot Wendy’s and Dunkin food haul. Thank you to everyone who contributed to this issue and followed our COVID-19 guidelines. We know it’s been hard, but the way our team and everyone who contributed has continued to create through these times is what makes this issue even more special.

SIMRAN GVALANI, CREATIVE DIRECTOR

table of contents

040 Rise of the Bimbo

028 WONDER

022 The Hobby That Awoke Something in Me

018 The Routine of Routines

014 The Dark Side of Cottagecore

010 Copenhagen's Call for Sustainability

062 RENAISSANCE

058 The Art of Waking Up Like This

054 The Conscious World of Stine Goya

048 The Resurgence of Thinspiration

044 Kid Super and the Rise of Independent Fashion Brands

FASHION

088 The Allure of Disposable Cameras

082 Androgyny in Our Nails

076 Hairy? Yes We Are… and We Like It

070 Queer Coding: Using Beauty to Foster Identity

BEAUTY

118 No Really, How Are You?

A Letter to My Mother

114

110 The Ink of Our Skin

104 The Moment for Mindfulness

092 CONVERGENCE

LIFESTYLE

Copenhagen's Call For

Sustainability

WRITING Madison Bohne MODELING Claire Lee Alyssa Spaeth PHOTOGRAPHY Becca Bricachek DESIGN Tanya Kler

Copenhagen’s fashion scene has never been more accessible than it was this past February, when the Fashion Week. The fashion showcase included its digital nature allowed for live-streamed designer interviews and a series of industry talks. While we Copenhagen was able to focus its attention much more directly on the way the industry is shifting. Beyond the on-trend color palettes and Scandichic silhouettes from favorite Nordic brands Ganni and Rains, Copenhagen Fashion Week (CFW) leadership sent a strong message. Brands have three years to either meet a bold new set of sustainability requirements or lose show eligibility. Tackling sustainability concerns in a Danish city isn’t new for the industry — the Global Fashion Agenda’s (GFA) annual sustainability summit has found a home in Denmark for the past decade, where experts host conversations on reducing the industry’s environmental footprint. The GFA, Business of Fashion, Vogue, and many Copenhagen’s commitment. Copenhagen has long attracted designers with new environmental projects, with many brands making their pieces 11

CFW’s new action plan requires designing zero-waste sets for fashion shows; using only sustainable packaging materials; sourcing at least 50 percent organic, upcycled, or recycled textiles for all collections; and pledging to not destroy unsold clothes. Brands can score bonus points for other environmentally conscious innovations, and CFW also plans to cut their own impact by reducing emissions by 50 percent and setting a zero-waste target. CFW leadership is achievable standard that other fashion weeks can follow. CFW also launched the Zalando Sustainability Award this season, which all presenting brands could apply for. House of percent sustainable fabric sourcing and strategic plans for climate neutrality. CFW has partnered with another key player in the fashion supply chain: Copenhagen International Fashion Fair (CIFF), a favorite of European buyers. CIFF will require brands to match the sustainability standards set out by CFW. CIFF’s businesses and designers to avoid sustainability. Without a showing at CIFF, brands might miss a key opportunity to be purchased by luxury retailers. Copenhagen is choosing to get ahead of sustainability and act as an example to fashion weeks everywhere. While fast fashion’s speedy design-to-retail timeline takes much of the blame for creating waste, designer houses need to lead the industry in taking responsibility, a process that CFW is looking to kickstart. For businesses, the need to change is more important than ever as consumers start to rethink the footprint of their closets. Copenhagen is leading the way implications could be bigger than we realize.

Fashion's attention span is short, so how can we keep making sustainability messages stick?

The Dark Side of

Cottagecore

The mundanity of quarantine has inspired a new internet aesthetic based on a growing fascination with the fairytale archetype of cottagecore. This motif is falling on eyes and ears that are desperate to be transported back to a time of royalty, frivolity, countryside. However, while these cottagecore devotees envelope themselves in this romanticized much darker reality. Cottagecore evokes images of feminine corsets and ethereal dresses, set in dreamy scenes of vine-covered cottages and colorful gardens. Every component of the trend is beautiful on the surface but woven with a contentious past that is often overlooked. The clothes symbolize the simplicity of the Regency era and the ensuing Victorian era that they hail from, paired with the old-fashioned sentiment that for women, ignorance is bliss — an escape from pandemic stress, but it’s important that a fun diversion doesn’t turn into an idealized form of a troubled past. Clothes impact the way we behave, not unlike how actors utilize their wardrobe to help them meld into their characters. Take the most recognizable cottagecore style, the nap dress. The versatility of

merged for many. Beyond its adaptable nature, the nap dress connotes much-needed rest and

True to its historical origins, these styles have been picked up by pricy brands, catering only to

WRITING Meghna Iyer

PHOTOGRAPHY Ken Yin

purchases during COVID-19. Meanwhile, the heroes of the pandemic, our essential workers, are mostly racial and ethnic minorities who do not

MODELING Meghna Iyer Masha Johansen

DESIGN Tanya Kler

to lounge or even to feign leisure through expensive fashion items.

Corsets and nap dresses grew more popular with the release of the show Bridgerton, which depicted the inequities between genders in the Regency era. With each tightening of a corset, a woman lost her ability to pursue something, physically society. Girls were taught that their principal goal in life was marriage and being the ideal wife to their spouses. Ever since they were children, they were shown how to attain this goal but were not taught to strive for anything else. Throughout the course of Bridgerton, the women were shown careers, through the men in their lives. Despite their exposure to alternate life paths, these women never saw these things as attainable, let alone achievable. There wasn’t anything more to their leaving many stuck in a society-induced oblivion. While this oblivion was normalized for women of the Regency and Victorian eras, some women did manage to educate or advocate for themselves. But these women were not allowed to live happily ever after — they were often deemed “hysterical” and hidden away or institutionalized. This accusation of hysteria has reared its head time and again throughout history, literature, and the media, dating back to Ancient Egypt. Since the conception of “female hysteria,” Freud and other it until it was known as “a disease of women” and being a woman.

The theme of hysteria even made it into the work of great authors like Shakespeare, who incorporated this theme into Hamlet through the character of Ophelia. Ophelia was driven mad after the man she loved, Hamlet, murdered her father. Shakespeare coined the infamous phrase “frailty, thy name is woman” in his description of Ophelia. However, what she went through was not hysteria or caused by her gender; she had a mental illness onset by trauma and a lack of support.

Ophelia’s unfortunate situation is not unique. In the classic novel Jane Eyre, the character attic after claiming that she was mad. Her madness was actually a mental illness that stemmed from Rochester’s poor treatment towards her. Both Ophelia and Bertha were portrayed in long, white dresses similar to a nap dress. Jane describes Bertha’s dress as “white and straight; but whether gown, sheet or shroud, I cannot tell,” alluding to both what a patient would wear at an asylum and a shroud donned by the dead. Bertha’s portrayal impacted the media and perspectives on mental illness for years to come. Horror movies from the ‘60s through the ‘80s blatantly broadcasted Bertha’s dress as the attire for possessed women, who often showed symptoms of mental health diagnoses. In this sense, white nightgowns have come to symbolize the phenomena of inaccurately labelling mental health issues as hysteria. The nap dress has taken on several personas since its conception, ranging from childlike innocence and ignorance to eeriness and even dress has become more impactful to the statement we choose to give it during the pandemic. The revival of clothing from the Victorian era should not evoke its traditional connotations; instead, we should use it to inspire us to change these notions and reverse their impact. This has been a unique time where we physically stay in the same places while avoiding real to educate ourselves on matters of public safety, to our homes. We should carry this passion for

self-education and change with us as we leave the pandemic behind. It’s important that we continue to pay attention to the historical context of our environment, including our clothes and fashion. The pandemic is not a moment for ignorance, but for conscientiousness, accountability, and awareness. The nap dress must not stand for what it has in the past, but rather as a symbol of our commitment to educate ourselves and to reclaim our history. Cottagecore must not signify a revival, but a rebirth.

THE ROUTINE OF ROUTINES

WRITING Medha Shah MODELING Coco Lheritier Sophia Akhter PHOTOGRAPHY Azra Schorr DESIGN Tanya Kler

I’ve always been someone who needs to set 10 when asked if I’m a morning or night person, I say morning because it’s when I feel the most productive. You’re probably thinking, “Medha, that doesn’t make any sense,” and you’re kind of right. I say I’m a morning person because I love my morning routine. Completing a small list of tasks for myself makes me feel accomplished and helps me carry this positive energy throughout the rest of my day.

who struggles with acne, my skincare routine is extremely important to me. With eight steps, I wouldn’t exactly call it simple, but to me they’re all necessary. What I’ve learned over the years is that consistency is key. Your skin takes a while to adjust to new products and in turn, products 15 minutes later, I come out feeling refreshed and equipped with a mental checklist of all the things I need to do. Nowadays, I rarely wear makeup since I’m mostly just at home. But if I’m feeling a little extra, I’ll throw on some concealer and mascara. Before feeding myself, I also like to water my plants

Then, I like to begin some light stretching to get my blood circulating, which usually helps me feel more awake. Next, I head to the bathroom where most of the magic happens. As someone

through my room. Tending to them is calming, and I love watching them grow. After I get dressed, I select a perfume for the day. I have three options that I rotate between, depending on my mood. 19

scent that complements the various candles I like to burn in my room. When going out, I like switching between fruity or musky perfumes. Scents are really important to me, and they help set the tone for the day. While I’m not a huge breakfast person, I like to end my morning routine with a small bowl of granola and almond milk. I’ll also use this time to catch up on emails and write down all the things I need to get done for the day. Creating a routine for myself wasn’t something I did until I came to college. Here, I had no one holding me accountable but myself and I needed bed, and have added more steps along the way. My routine still isn’t perfect by any means, but something I’ve also translated into my night routine.

makeup and hopping into the shower. It’s my happy place and it’s where I do a lot of thinking. After my

teeth and pop in the good old retainer, since years of braces weren’t enough. Next, I’ll brush out my hair and apply some of my favorite hair oil to my ends. It smells like jasmine, and reminds me of the summers I spent visiting my grandparents in India.

until I fall asleep. In the past year, these routines have become an integral part of my life. Like everyone else, I lost my normal schedule when COVID-19 hit. I quickly spiraled into a lazy routine, wearing only pajamas and staying in bed all day. All my motivation was gone and it was taking a toll on my productivity. I got back into my routines, I began to feel like myself again. My morning routine set me up for a full day of success, while my nighttime routine helped me unwind and get a good night’s rest. Routines help us function as humans — whether habits for us to build upon and can make us feel powerful while also reducing anxiety.

WRITING Lily Elwood MODELING Sam Krot PHOTOGRAPHY Lauren Walsh DESIGN Claire Higgins

Some hobbies just speak to us in a way that others don’t. From the moment you pick up that paintbrush, write that song lyric, or play that game, you’re hooked. It becomes a central part of your personality and a source of your happiness. When people ask you about yourself, it’s one of the intensely passionate about it or you just do it when you need to take some time for yourself, you feel connected to it and always end up coming back to it. I interviewed some college students to learn about the hobbies that awoke something within themselves.

The Hobby That Awoke Something in Me Sarah Olender Olender picked up candle making quite recently, on Black Friday of 2020. After watching a TikTok of someone making a candle on Thanksgiving night, she went to Michael’s to pick up some starter candle making materials. Her family loves candles, and she wanted to name the candles she made after something sentimental. “Olender’s Christmas Tree Farm.” “My dad, every summer, would go up to Maine to see his grandfather, who lived on a Christmas tree farm, and he would work on the Christmas tree farm,” Olender said, explaining the name. “I feel like scents bring out memories,” Olender and tell stories and talk about past moments.” Candle making has quickly become her favorite way to express herself, because it allows people to experience things through scent. 23

Molly Winship Music has always been a big part of Winship’s life and something very close to her heart, especially because it has helped her through some of her hardest times. Freshman year of college, she picked up songwriting as a way to help her process a recent trauma and spent time singlesong throughout quarantine.

that I had regarding sexual assault,” Winship said. “I was very persistent from day one that I would not report it for reasons that I am sure many people can relate to… but I do think it is important to release some of that tension somehow.” Her song, “almost drowned that night,” was released on streaming services in mid-January. Taking her songwriting hobby to a new level by releasing it to the public was a big step for Winship, and she was nervous to share such a personal part of herself with others. In the end, it was extremely cathartic for her and she received support, community, and positive feedback from her friends and family. Writing music has become an important part of Winship’s life and has helped her communicate better with both herself and the people who love her. Writing comes naturally to her and helps ease some of her stress.

Rachel Gronberg after-school program at her elementary school. She had always enjoyed crafts, so her mom signed her up for it despite her protests. She ended up falling in love. “I’ve been crocheting for 10 years, and the hobby has grown up with me,” Gronberg said. “I remember making a shirt when I was a freshman and being so scared to wear it because I didn’t like the way my body looked. Since then, I have learned to love my body and my talent, and I wear my handmade clothing with pride.” Crocheting has truly been a lesson in self-love for Gronberg. Because of quarantine, she was recently able to start crocheting every day, making everything from lacy tops to dinosaurs in striped sweaters. Whatever made her happy that day, she made. “I would say the biggest thing that I have learned through crocheting is a sense of selfworth — I know, extremely cliché,” Gronberg said. Crocheting has recently helped her in dealing with her struggle with her sexuality. “When I came out as gay in high school, I was depressed and I spent too much time wishing I could be straight,” Gronberg said. “Now, I have found through TikTok that there’s a whole archetype of WLW that crochet.” Through crocheting, she gets to be herself, be creative, and celebrate the things she loves most in life.

Lily Elwood Cooking and baking has been something I loved since I was young, because it was something my mother loved to do. On gloomy days when my siblings and I didn’t want to play outside, my mother and I would sit down with one of my children’s cookbooks and pick out a recipe to do together. I loved it so much that I used to say I wanted to be a chef when I grew up. As I got older, I stopped having time to cook and bake so often. In high school, I was always busy doing homework and involving myself in clubs; I cakes or whipping up a fancy dinner. But then, in N.U.in program in London. There was no meal plan, so I had to cook every meal for myself in my dorm’s shared kitchen. In the summer leading up to my departure, my mother and I returned together to the kitchen again as she taught me some simple recipes I could take with me abroad. When I left, I was excited for the opportunity to cook for myself and live on my own. Unfortunately, I quickly became sick after getting food poisoning — and I got sick three more times after that. Being sick for two months meant that I spent most of my time isolated in my dorm room, not experiencing the city or creating new friendships. I fell deep into a depression, and I lost my love for cooking. I didn’t want to eat at all for a while.

I have always had a complicated relationship with food, but what made me want to cook and eat again was the happiness I gained from cooking for other people and seeing them enjoy my food. When I recovered from my sicknesses, I started cooking and baking for and with friends. It not only helped me make some wonderful friendships, it became a sort of therapy for me. Things were still tough, but I worked through it — every few days I would get to go to the grocery store and plan my meals for the week, and every night I would wait until most people were out of the kitchen and I could put on my music, cooking myself dinner. Hobbies have such a unique way of allowing us to express ourselves. Finding one that truly touches your soul is a gift. Not only are they incredible social connectors and mood boosters, they are also a pathway to growth and a greater understanding of the self.

Hobbies have such a unique way of allowing us to express ourselves.

o n

w o

r r d

PHOTOGRAPHY Calem Robertson DESIGN Renee Pearce MODELING Brittany Clottey

STYLING DIRECTION Aidan Baglivo Hillary Nana-Adjei MAKEUP ARTIST Azra Schorr

STYLISTS Quirin Emanga Maggie Van Nortwick Nell Sweeney Cara O’Hanlon Marisa Goolgasian CONTRIBUTING PHOTO DIRECTION Aung Thant Kyaw SENIOR CREATIVE DIRECTION Simran Gvalani ASSOCIATE CREATIVE DIRECTION Kaela Anderson

RISE OF THE Bimbo

WRITING Elena Plumb

PHOTOGRAPHY Estelle de Zan

MODELING Estelle de Zan

DESIGN Thandiwe Tembo

Everything men want

whilst being everything they hate:

TikTok creator Chrissy Chlapecka bats her false stumbles over her stilettos as she twirls for the niche corner of the popular video platform in which “the girls, gays, theys, and non-binary babes” experiment with hyperfemininity, as Chlapecka lovingly articulates. Chlapecka guides her 2.5 million TikTok followers through a day in the life of a “bimbo” with a cutesy compilation reminiscent of Elle Woods’s Harvard video essay in Legally Blonde. “On Glitter Island, stammers, staring vacantly into space as the video cuts to the next clip. “We also learn how to read,” she continues. “‘A’ is for ‘Abolish the Police,’ and

platform. The historically misogynistic stereotype, women as unintelligent, has been wielded as an insult for decades against the likes of Marilyn Monroe and Kim Kardashian. But today, the term has experienced a reawakening — Gen-Z TikTok users now regard it as an aspiration rather than an insult. They’re leaning into everything the bimbo stereotype entails, from pink Juicy Couture sweatsuits to glittery makeup looks to an unabashed acceptance that math is, in fact, pretty hard.

Anyone who wishes to embrace their femininity and sexuality is welcome on the bimbos’ glittery island, regardless of gender expression — Chlapecka address her audience as “bimbos, thembos, himbos, bimboys, or any ‘bo’ you wanna be” in a isn’t invited? The straight, cisgender man. The bimbo performance involves a breathy voice, poor enunciation, a consistent deer-inthe-headlights expression, and an air of blissful ignorance. However, by playing into every facet of the stereotype, these TikTok creators gain the power to subvert it. With a high-pitched voice, bouncy gait, and exaggerated smile on her face, creator @Bamlarotten teeters into the frame. As she runs

on the Jan. 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol. “We spent the last four years pretending that these people were just ‘ignorant hicks’ who didn't know any better — we literally hold the entire wealth of human information in our hands right now. So they do know better, and they’ve known better this entire time,” she said. “In 2021, I am begging everyone to stop infantilizing racist white people and hold them accountable like you should.” Visually, @bamlarotten adheres to the bimbo aesthetic, almost inviting viewers to make assumptions about her intellectual capabilities

based on her appearance. At the same time, she challenges these assumptions with insightful commentary on our society’s inclination to justify racist behavior. She thus creates a disconnect between the viewer’s expectations and their actual experience, which weakens the long-accepted stereotype that feminine women are vapid, uneducated, and not to be taken seriously. To TikTok creator @BimboKate, this is the very crux of the bimbo movement — triggering a sort of cognitive dissonance within the straight male viewer. She told Rolling Stone that the bimbo performance enables her to become “everything men want visually whilst being everything they hate: self-aware, sexually empowered, politically conscious, etc.”

empowering, critics have found reason to pause. In a recent video, YouTuber Jordan Theresa fairly points out that the heavy makeup and revealing clothing often associated with the bimbo aesthetic are ultimately “living up to straight men’s sexual preferences.” Can a performance that panders to the male gaze really be considered feminist? Are these creators truly rebelling against patriarchal heterosexual male fantasies? @Bamlarotten dismisses this critique in one of her TikTok videos. “Can we talk about how heterosexist it is to assume that feminine-presenting people, especially hyper-feminine people, are doing it for the sake of and the attention of men?” she asked. “There’s nothing feminist about demanding a certain form of gender presentation in order for marginalized people to ascertain validity in your eyes.”

@FauxRich, another one of the platform's more visible bimbos, echoes this sentiment. “Just because hyperfemininity is tied to the male gaze doesn't mean that’s why women are doing it,” she said in a video. “Hyperfeminine women have been made fun of and literally demonized in traditional media and in person. Being a bimbo is so empowering to some people because they feel as though they had to hide their femininity to be taken seriously.”

phenomenon to examine how society regards Legally Blonde challenged the bimbo stereotype back in 2001. for the color pink and a valley-girl dialect, is repeatedly underestimated by her peers at Harvard Law, despite having fairly earned her spot at the institution. On the other hand, when Vivienne Kensington dresses in pantsuits and muted colors, her peers perceive her as intelligent and serious. Both women possess the intellectual capacity to succeed in law school, but the woman who abandons her femininity will always be taken more seriously in an academic setting.

Society’s mold for intelligence is sculpted to favor masculinity, so much so that 65 percent of women reported workplace discrimination and 40% reported a struggle to be taken seriously by company leadership, according to a Hired.com study. Feminine individuals, including women, LGBTQ+ men, and non-binary individuals, should not have to “prove themselves” or erase facets of their identity in order to be taken seriously. Femininity is rarely associated with intellect. Therefore, unlearning these implicit biases will take time — which makes the mission of “Bimbo TikTok'' that much more important. We must continue to challenge such ideals and challenge the way that we as a society measure intelligence and perceive femininity.

Despite its critiques and shortcomings, the intentions behind “Bimbo TikTok” remain clear: wearing pink and engaging in an educated debate about politics should not be mutually exclusive events, and embracing femininity should never lead to one’s categorization under an outdated, misogynistic stereotype. As the movement to reclaim the term “bimbo” gains traction on TikTok, creators will hopefully continue to encourage people of all shapes, sizes, colors, and backgrounds to follow Chlapecka’s key misogynistic man, and wear cute clothes while

Further, this feminist crusade must be intersectional in nature. Even with BIPOC bimbos like @FauxRich and @Bamlarotten asserting that the bimbo lifestyle is “not a white aesthetic” in their videos, it’s natural for women of color to feel excluded from the trend — after all, the mainstream media’s bimbo archetype has historically been white, blonde, and thin. Chlapecka, the epitome of the media’s archetypal bimbo, boasts 2.5 million followers, compared to @Bamlarotten and @FauxRich’s 100,000. As enjoyable as her content may be, Chlapecka’s white privilege has undoubtedly contributed to her ascension.

W ideals and challenge the way that we as

DESIGN Jack Vogelsang

WRITING / ILLUSTRATION Zach Weiss

KidSuper and the rise of independent fashion brands

The prospect of creating a successful independent fashion brand has become increasingly possible in the digital age. It seems like everyone has at least one friend, whether close or peripheral, that has started making clothing in the last few years. Perhaps you know someone who has turned their craft into a lucrative side business. Maybe they’ve done so well they’re pursuing it full time. While it is easier than ever for our friends and families to enter the fashion world, this means there are more small competitors than ever along with multinational conglomerates. How far can this now common path take them? Colm Dillane, the man behind Brooklyn that the possibilities are endless. To any creative aspiring to reach the highest heights in fashion, his ascension story is nothing short of heroic. The 27-year-old designer has gone from selling clothes to classmates in cafeterias to having pieces worn by some of today’s biggest athletes and recording artists, according to Vogue. From Puma collaborations being sported by Brazilian soccer star Neymar Jr., to musicians like Young Thug, Bad Bunny, and Steve Aoki donning brand apparel, to designing multiple album covers for Russ, KidSuper has truly become a cultural phenomenon. As for the goofy, sometimes nude, and always eclectic mind behind the moniker, Dillane was born in New York City to immigrant parents from Hungary. From a young age, he felt instinctively compelled to express himself creatively.

An idea that anything and everything was possible. From clothing, to music videos, to gallery shows,

Now, only a few years later, he’s graduated to showcasing his own art-adorned garments on the runways of Paris and New York fashion weeks. garb through a mix of vibrant colors, unorthodox patterns, and playful characters. What’s more, KidSuper’s intrepid rise has been perpetually shared with supporters. Branding and social media engagement are inextricable in today’s industry, but KidSuper’s commitment to creativity, authenticity, and accessibility are nearly unprecedented. Dillane regularly posts silly skits, clips of himself ice skating sans clothes (censored, of course), process videos, and short movies for each seasonal line to his Instagram and

virtual fashion show and exists as an artistic feat independent of its marketing function.

Dillane fosters a sincerely intimate connection with his followers that sets him apart from the strategic marketing of large fashion houses and established industry giants. By endearing himself to fans and developing a diverse multimedia brand to support continually unique endeavors, KidSuper has been ingratiated as an institution of fashion, New York, and the full scope of pop culture.

Unimpressed by the uniformity of his peers’ fashion choices, he began screen printing T-shirts in high school to sell to close friends. During a gap year playing soccer in Brazil and his subsequent student-athlete studies at NYU, Dillane continued designing, ruminating on the potential of his artistic acumen. Unbeknownst to anyone at the time — except perhaps Dillane himself — the foundation for something special had been laid. Dillane’s vision for KidSuper began with a simple proclamatory ethos, “Wait, I’m my own superhero.

Ironically though, the center of his operation hides in plain sight. An unassuming aqua-colored building, the KidSuper Studio has become a staple of Brooklyn’s South Williamsburg neighborhood. The headquarters — which, in a Vice Dillane humorously noted some have mistaken for a daycare — has become a hub for constant multimedia creation. A home base that “looks

In an industry hampered by classism and exclusivity, KidSuper’s dedication to humility is a ringing testament to the value of engaging others. Cultivating such monumental platforms comes with a responsibility to uphold the values for which brands are recognized. Moreover, the interconnectedness of our modern media landscape allows creators to leverage their audiences in the shifting paradigms of industry and society at large.

Inside the ever-evolving space is a multi-purpose eccentricity. Walls are populated with KidSuper’s past art and future projects. Racks of the brand’s latest clothing are likewise adorned with prints or embroidery of his sketches and paintings. Upon space for photo shoots, and even a small soccer Despite his international success and connection to superstars, Dillane is committed to maintaining his childlike nature and connecting with anyone who excites him. On a recent Instagram Live, he expressed that he’s always interested in collaborating with up-and-coming artists, lesser known designers, or anyone else whose craft catches his eye. His Instagram Story revealed an upcoming collaboration with Soundcloud rapper $not. The project will feature packaging which parodies tissue boxes, complete with KidSuper x $not branding in Kleenex font.

That dynamic was especially evident this past summer, when Black Lives Matter protests came to the forefront of discourse following numerous Informed by his multicultural upbringing, Dillane expressed how imperative it is to facilitate progress by shedding light on pervasive intersectional issues such as racial injustice and police brutality. Partnering with numerous BLM organizations, he created a capsule of shirts bearing the names and likenesses of many of the recent victims, underscored with the message “remember all their names.” An extensive and loyal following allowed the brand to sell out the entire set through multiple $500,000, all of which were donated to the various partner institutions. KidSuper’s success has created the blueprint for all independent creatives looking to become enterprise has proven that originality and openness are the key ingredients for the democratization of fashion. Dillane’s methods of establishing resonance show that the proliferation of potential to grow organic followings through social media. For artists who wish to actualize every project and seemingly unrealistic goal their dreams may conjure, KidSuper demonstrates the rewards of determination, the fruits of collaboration, and the achievability of ubiquity. Equipped with the power of ambition, Colm Dillane has indeed become the time we all follow suit.

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WRITING Aanchal Dharmani

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PHOTOGRAPHY Hillary Nana-Adjei

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MODELING Sam A-Rahim Alayna Thomas Aanchal Dharmani

DESIGN Claire Higgins

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Apples, hourglasses, rulers, pears. Society has equated women’s bodies with objects, or even worse, food. In addition, the fashion industry has heavily pushed the ideal body image as skinny, slender, and petite, leading women to subconsciously equate style with skinniness. As someone who is in a constant battle against her own body, I think it’s safe to say that “#thinspo” is a silent epidemic. Social media’s hellish and unforgiving nature, combined with the warped online world, has given birth to maligned thinspiration communities that have created a pro–eating disorder culture. With ubiquitous weight loss content trending on apps like TikTok and Instagram, pro–eating disorder culture is being depicted as shockingly normal. What might seem like a trivial 15-second dance video or a 45-second “what I eat in a day” video inevitably compounds with pro–eating disorder culture. Things like thigh gaps, protruding ribs, the a4 waist, and sinewy arms all point to this question: to what extent does society’s perception of beauty

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In addition to these up-and-coming online communities, the fashion industry has also glamorized beauty trends and unrealistic body standards. It’s concerning considering so much of our concept of style is based on a petite hourglass is a conventionally skinny woman. Nearly every ad, magazine cover, and billboard for mainstream fashion retailers features a thin and tall model. While it’s perfectly normal to be petite, it is absolutely abnormal that that’s the sole standard for every woman on the face of the Earth. And it’s most considered to be beautiful or worthy.

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When young women dress themselves, they often aspire to achieve the “ideal” body shape. Girls intentionally pick clothing that accentuates their hips and cinches the waist, thus giving them the the convention, that’s the trend, and that’s what’s considered culturally and socially desirable. The majority of Pinterest fashion inspiration is modeled on slender girls, and the industry is dominated by supermodels like Bella Hadid and Kendall Jenner. Until society and the fashion industry stop telling women that being skinny is the only way to be beautiful, it’s a losing battle. TikTok and Instagram are simply the new and upgraded homes for thinspiration content. While these platforms have community guidelines intended to prevent the spread of pro–eating disorder content, users on their platform still continue to spread thinspo culture. TikTok, for instance, clearly stated that “content that promotes eating habits that are likely to cause health issues are not allowed on the platform.” However, the sheer volume of thinspiration content proves that these guidelines are either not enough or TikTok is not doing enough to follow through on their commitment to protect the community.

Dangerous tips, misguided encouragement, body shaming, and, most importantly, viral trends on the platform are reminiscent of thinspiration communities on older platforms like Tumblr. This site originally provided this epidemic with a global platform, resulting in its phenomenal growth. Users contributed to pro–eating disorder behavior by sharing tips and tricks while also promoting the notion that eating disorders were a lifestyle choice instead of a mental illness. Images of boney legs, ribs, and collar bones were easily accessible to a mass audience. Today, a quick Google search will give you millions of free articles on how to avoid food easily, tips like chewing on ice cubes to reduce your appetite being one of the preposterous suggestions. Billions of women not only view these, but also participate in this culture. And with TikTok videos going viral so easily and quickly, it has only aggravated the situation.

While the curvy body trend is still circulating on social media, we must be careful to mitigate the resurgence of the thinspiration trend. Some social media communities have returned to how it used to be in the late ‘90s and early 2000s, with extremely thin girls wearing low rise jeans and tiny tank tops. It’s the Victoria’s Secret Angels generation. It’s the Paris Hilton, Bella Hadid, Hailey Beiber, and Kendall Jenner generation. It’s almost as if beautiful has become synonymous with looking famished and weak. Fashion and beauty isn’t about what your body

When we step back to consider the constantly changing “ideal body” throughout history, the arbitrary nature of the pro–eating disorder culture

equate to being trendy and stylish. Since it is quite impossible for every woman to look the same way, we need to open our minds and social media pages to women of a range of body types. Every skin, to follow the trends she likes, and to wear

decade ago, let alone half a century or more ago. In the Victorian era, carrying extra weight and curves was understood as a sign of beauty, wealth, and health across much of the world. In the ‘50s, movie stars in the U.S. like Marilyn Monroe popularized a curvy hourglass shape. According to the Post, many ads targeted at women encouraged products that would help them gain weight, a concept which might surprise modern readers. In the late 2000s and early 2010s, the Kardashians played a large role in bringing back the curvy body trend. Many women focused upon becoming “thick,” or gaining curves while maintaining a thin waist. While this trend still perpetuates an unrealistic body standard, it allows room for more body types than the stick-thin model trend.

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The Conscious World of Stine Goya

WRITING Winnie Phebus ILLUSTRATIONS Zach Weiss DESIGN Thandiwe Tembo

Based in Copenhagen, Stine Goya is a hallmark of modern Scandinavian fashion. Designer Stine Goya Hertz graduated from London-based fashion school Central Saint Martins, where she was exposed to a wide variety of cultural 2006, Hertz established Stine Goya as a brand and began releasing four collections a year. Goya is masterful in her use of color, shape, and pattern. The majority of her designs feature simple shapes and cuts, keeping functionality in mind. However, one notable constant throughout her collections is the usage of bright, vibrant patterns; some pieces colors contained within, or the same pattern hues of colors. Some pieces are strikingly asymmetrical, featuring contrasting patterns or

evoke a sense of playfulness and femininity, yet are still subtle and toned enough for a work day or fashion show alike. Boots and footwear are colored in soft pastels or animal prints with practicality in mind. Stine Goya loungewear is somewhat more somber and toned down than her other pieces, yet there are still a few bright exceptions. The SS21 collection follows Goya’s general pattern of celebrating joy in the everyday. As a fashion brand, Stine Goya is very transparent about their sustainability measures and practices. Their clothing is designed to be kept and used for a long time. As such, their website features

information on how to better protect the lifecycle of a garment. It is also very candid about the materials and fabrics that go into the clothing and

about component replacements, like how they have replaced traditionally used viscose — a plant-based from trees like pine, bamboo, and eucalyptus — with Lenzing Ecovero viscose. This viscose generates up to 50 percent lower emissions and a reduced water impact when compared to standard viscose.

natural cellulose found in wood pulp. Tencel is fully biodegradable and produced with an advanced spinning method that reduces water and energy use. The brand also uses organic cotton and recycled polyester, instead of industry-standard processed cotton and polyester. The use of recycled polyester rather than the production of new material reduces the amount of waste going to the demand for petroleum as a raw material. Through these production changes, Stine Goya shows that the goal of being sustainable is not simply a market gimmick, but a conscious choice.

The Art of Waking Up Like This WRITING / MODELING Anjali Dhawan PHOTOGRAPHY Emily Gringorten DESIGN Phoebe Lasater Fashion occupies space in so many environments. It’s at parties and on the streets, on the big screen and in personal closets, from one corner of the world to another. Fashion is everywhere, so it feels natural to share personal style when interacting with the world, especially when it’s such a clear way to express creativity and personality. Even (read: there’s a pandemic, and going out has been replaced by endless time at home), fashion still weaves its way into our lives, whether by new modes of expression like social media, or in new trends like loungewear. But what about those times when there’s nobody else around to see what we’re wearing? When the looks we create are truly for our eyes only? WHAT ABOUT WHEN WE SLEEP? When I stumble into bed most nights, I scramble to get out of my jeans, abandoning the day’s clothes in my laundry basket, and throw on whatever old

What we wear greatly affects how we feel.

for bed is an afterthought, a step in the process of a daily routine. But what if it wasn’t? What if we cared more for our sleepwear? What if, instead of resigning to the pull of exhaustion and spent time getting ready and putting ourselves to bed? For many, the nightly ritual of a skincare routine or a screentime detox or bedtime snack already exists. But we might be missing out on something greater when we forget our bedtime wardrobe in the haste of getting to sleep.

the same way that dressing up for a date makes us feel attractive, looking smart for an interview makes us feel professional, and dressing casually at home makes us feel comfortable, reserving for bed and gives our minds a physical cue that it’s time to sleep. Unfortunately, the recent trend of wearing loungewear regularly has blurred the lines between daytime clothing and sleepwear, so become that much more important. By ignoring routines and making it an afterthought, we erase the boundaries between the conscious world and dreamland. On the other hand, by incorporating sleepwear as a valuable part of our personal style, between these two worlds. Sleepwear deserves more appreciation and attention. Just because it’s often worn just for ourselves does not disqualify it as a meaningful part of our wardrobes. If anything, this unique

functionality makes it so much more personal and so much more valuable — it holds such a meaningful place in our personal style. So why not give sleepwear its own stage in the world of fashion? It’s not as if there isn’t room for creativity; countless styles of sleepwear exist, from classic and silky lingerie. And even within these categories, there is variety. Take nightgowns for example. While more wellknown for their places in your grandma’s or baby cousin’s closets, modern versions of this style provide a sleepwear option that would best be

newer patterns like animal print instead of old fashioned plaid. Similarly, a true nightshirt can take the place of an old oversized tee or sweatshirt. We have these tried-and-true favorites for a reason; develop sleep style.

silhouettes, shorter lengths, and updated designs have created the perfect sleepwear option for those looking to still feel a little bit dressy at night, or even those who prefer an oversized tee to “real” pajamas. And for something a little more sensual or seductive, a chemise — essentially the love child of nightgowns and lingerie — is a happy medium. Nightgowns and similar styles are proof that dresses don’t just belong to the daytime; they can be a comfortable sleep style as well. Even traditional pajama sets can be updated by swapping cotton for silk or satin, or by choosing

Just like with daytime fashion, sleepwear can Sleepwear is still widely seen as more functional than fashionable, so opportunities to innovate and push boundaries within this category have so much potential. There are limits to the existing realm of sleepwear fashion that can be pushed, which is inspiring. Nonetheless, exploring personal preferences among these styles creates an opportunity to bring a person’s sense of self into their sleepwear. There’s a whole world to be discovered here, and awakening this new side of style could improve the way we care for ourselves before bed and better prepare ourselves for sleep — even if it is between the sheets where nobody else will see it but you. 61

PHOTOGRAPHY Simran Gvalani DESIGN Renee Pearce

MODELING Mi’Angela Plater Kevin Zhang STYLING DIRECTION Aidan Baglivo Hillary Nana-Adjei MAKEUP ARTIST Azra Schorr

STYLISTS Quirin Emanga Maggie Van Nortwick Nell Sweeney Cara O’Hanlon Marisa Goolgasian CONTRIBUTING PHOTO DIRECTION Aung Thant Kyaw Calem Robertson SENIOR CREATIVE DIRECTION Simran Gvalani ASSOCIATE CREATIVE DIRECTION Kaela Anderson

Renaissance

Coding:

Using Beauty to Foster Identity

Queer

WRITING Alexandra Nieto MODELING Alexandra Nieto Chloe Strandwold PHOTOGRAPHY Serena Buscarello DESIGN Kimmy Curry

in college. I try not to count the times before that when the annunciation of my queerness came stumbling out of me with alcohol and tears. my freshman dorm, forever resonates with me. Surrounded by then strangers who I met only two days before, this guy jokingly singled me out. “Are you gay? You have that whole bisexual haircut thing going on...” I was taken aback, not with embarrassment or anger, but with relief. The weight of my most shameful secret, carried around with me my whole life, had suddenly been lifted. A majority of that weight came from the expectation of coming out. There’s this notion that coming out has to be a big deal, and the media tends to blow this out of proportion. Gay movies focus solely on this aspect of the queer experience. Hollywood glamorizes something so trivial that every queer times. It made the idea of “coming out” with a grandiose announcement in front of a large group so unattractive to me — so much pressure was put on just one moment. But something as simple as my haircut told my I was. I was able to come out with just my appearance. I feel like everyone goes through an identity shift seemingly endless opportunity of freedom for self-discovery. Away from the town you’ve grown up in your entire life, you break away from the expectations of the person you’re supposed to be. You are no longer restrained by the box you’ve been trapped in.

seen for who I was. Given this space, I was able to play with my own broadening my music taste, I ventured out of the norm. I started to throw myself into anything that seemed “gay.” I began to pick up thrifting and crocheting, and I even went to a Girl in Red concert. I wanted to surround myself with other people who were like me. But while surrounded by other gay people, both within my friend group and in Boston itself, I felt a disconnect. Other queer people seemed so secure in their own identity, mainly by appearance. I felt like you could spot someone’s queerness from afar, simply by how they dressed. Just by presenting themselves a certain way, they were able to share their story. I was envious of the comfort they possessed in their own identity. My own appearance went through a small and muted, knit sweaters. I began experimenting and layering pieces. While my appearance

I would look at myself in the mirror and feel think that this was not the image of my genuine self. All throughout my teenage years, especially during the summer before college, I had this become this fully realized, openly gay version of myself. The version of self that was hidden away for the light of day.

I was confused. Not confused over my sexuality, but my place in the community. My attraction to women was undeniable, but I still felt like I had to prove it. After only being in relationships with men, I started to feel like I was trapped within the “straight” label. I was going through a battle with internalized homophobia. I felt like an imposter to the community, like I was not “gay enough.” I had this perception that dressing “gay” would mean never truly exposed to gay role models in which I could see myself.

But during quarantine, I no longer faced the pressure of proving my sexuality. Without an audience to put on a performance for, I was able to discover a look of my own that merged my sense of self and my sexuality. While staying at home, I need to prove myself to other people. I spent a majority of my quarantine days scrolling with content creators I’ve never seen. While broadening my feed, it showed me that there’s

Another aspect of queer beauty I integrated was bold makeup looks. My day-to-day makeup look was never the same. One day I could be trying out a geometric eyeliner look and the other I would have brightly colored eyeshadow on with a simple white liner. Through experimenting with eye makeup looks, I became more comfortable with my application skills and my own self-image.

aesthetics, from butch lesbians with an edgy dresses, I was shown a platform on which queer

After being exposed to styles from the internet, I was able to pick and choose aspects of gay culture and fashion that meshed with my own personality. I was drawn to the phenomenon of “gay” earrings. The trend of putting small trinkets such as miniature dinosaurs or rubber duckies on earring hooks seemed delightfully ridiculous to me. I incorporated this campy accessory into my wardrobe. My most prized possession in my earring collection is a pair of gold wire earrings in the silhouette of a naked woman — what could be gayer than walking around with boobs dangling from your ears?

With this comfort in my new look, I began branching out with my fashion choices. I can now khaki pants or a chunky sweater with an eccentric pattern. A staple in my wardrobe became a thin turtleneck for layering. Between my platform Doc Martens boots, pierced nose, and pink hair, I no longer felt the pressure of coming out because my appearance did it for me. Fashion trends and style are an unspoken language of the LGBTQ community. While there is dress, there is something comforting about the way my appearance could communicate to someone else that we share something in common. By “dressing gay” and queer coding my style, I am not only coming to terms with my own sexuality, but signaling my place in the community. My style is not determined by my sexuality. My identity is not determined by my sexuality. Through my discovery of self, I have been able to accept my sexuality and role in the LGBTQ community. I incorporate queer fashion trends into my own look not to convince others, or even myself, that comfort and security in my own identity.

Hairy? Yes We Are... and We Like It WRITING Maxine An MODELING Maxine An Kimmy Curry Emily Greenberg PHOTOGRAPHY Olivia Robbins DESIGN Lila Hathaway

Emily Ratajkowski, Miley Cyrus, and Bella Thorne are just a few celebrities who have come to embrace their own body hair, posting images of themselves on social media for the world to see. We are in an era of body positivity and acceptance, and that includes much more than simply our body size and shape — our body hair matters too. As women, we are taught at a young age what it means to look presentable in public, and that includes the strenuous work of shaving and waxing our entire bodies. I started shaving my underarms before I hit double digits, and it did not take long for it to turn into an irritating chore during the warmer months. I never even glanced at a razor during autumn and winter, feeling a burden being

This past summer, being in lockdown and quarantine made me realize that I would not be seeing my friends regularly nor traveling with my family like I used to. My razors fell to the bottom of my drawers untouched, and I felt an internal sense of freedom. But while not shaving brought about relief, it was the world outside of my home that stopped me from feeling comfortable with my body hair. I wish I had the courage to leave the house with all my body hair intact, but I was afraid to get side-eye glances and weird looks from others. Whenever I left the house, I chose tops that covered my underarms and cargo pants that protected my legs. Nowadays, many women would argue that not shaving is a sign of liberation and that we, as a society, should come to accept that. However, there is still a stigma surrounding those who do

not shave. Rebecca Herzig, a professor of gender and sexuality studies at Bates College and author of “Plucked: A History of Hair Removal,” wrote that having less body hair made one “more evolved and sexually attractive.” Other associated hairiness with “sexual inversion, disease pathology, lunacy and criminal violence.” While the negative connotations of hairiness should have applied to both men and women, it was only the latter who faced the consequences of not shaving their body hair. It was actually a way to control women and their bodies as they achieved more power within society. The idea that women’s bodies should be free of hair was reinforced in the early 1900s when sleeveless dresses were introduced and sold to the public. In 1922, an ad in Harper’s Bazaar told women it was a necessity for them to shave their underarms if they were to not be embarrassed and Gillette, a men’s shaving company, released Vox. As time progressed, the shorter dress hemlines in the 1930s and 1940s and the rise of Playboy Magazine created the standard for women’s sexiness, which meant shaving their body hair. Hairlessness became a societal norm that expectation as well. Even in the 21st century where gender equality has supposedly advanced, women still feel embarrassed for not shaving, especially when

it can be seen in public. In an interview with The , Caroline Ervin, co-host of the podcast Unladylike, said, “It makes total sense shaving. On the one hand, many of us have had it drilled into our heads that body hair is gross, unhygienic, and unfeminine. On the other, we know in our logical, feminist brains that we ‘shouldn’t’ fall prey to those social pressures.” It presents an obstacle for women who understand that their societal value is based on physical appearance but who want to challenge the norms that have controlled them for so long. This double standard has received pushback from those who believe they should be allowed to live their lives however they want, without judgement. Younger generations, like millennials and Gen Z, are part of the movement of normalizing body hair on women. The Guardian describes “Januhairy,” which “encourages women to grow their body hair for the month of January and share images of themselves online.” Hopefully, more and more women will participate in movements like these in the future so that the presence of body hair will be welcomed and embraced by all. Creating these kinds of online communities and uniting women on an issue that impacts them is a step taken in the right direction toward the acceptance of body hair. Esther Calixte-Bea, or @queen_esie on Instagram, is a body hair activist and painter. She appeared in Glamour UK’s second annual Self-Love issue in January 2021, which celebrates beauty and bodies

that challenge outdated or taboo beauty standards. Her Instagram photos reveal her own body hair, and it is such refreshing content. In an interview with CTV News, Calixte-Bea disclosed that she remembered seeing chest hair as an 11-year-old and felt like she needed to shave it for her elementary school graduation. She realized that she could either accept herself as she was or stay in her dark place. Calixte-Bea owned her body hair and chose to show it to the world. Little did she know that by doing so, she had instilled felt displeased by and discouraged from having chest hair.

Women showcasing their body hair in public is nothing new, but it may feel that way because it has yet to be normalized. Back in 1999, Julia Roberts did not shave her underarms for the Notting Hill premiere and made a feminist statement by doing so. Body hair is a natural occurrence in both men and women, and women should not be bearing the burden of it — especially when it is society that creates these rules, deeming what is considered acceptable or and regain control of our own bodies so that we make decisions for ourselves, rather than to please everyone around us.

egain control of our bodies so that we can make decisions for ourselves.

ANDRO

GYNY in our nails WRITING Rachel Erwin MODELING Shreya Basireddy Noah Wendel Adriana Messina Zak Ganhadeiro Rachel Erwin PHOTOGRAPHY Ruby Trvalik DESIGN Kimmy Curry

Open up TikTok and you will see countless videos of people obsessing over the new trend: men wearing

revolutionary, while others say we need to “bring manly men back.”

been painting their nails for longer than any of us have been alive. Why are we so shocked that boys paint their nails too? It’s nothing this planet hasn’t seen before. Let’s go back to 3200 B.C. According to a 2016 Mic article, men in southern Babylonia wore nail polish to signify their class, with each color representing a their status. Warriors would have their nails done way to ancient Egypt and China as well, with people of all genders wearing nail varnish to signify class. So what happened? Why did we start assuming only women could partake in the trend? Manicures for women became popular in France in the 1800s, with Mary E. Cobb opening up the big brands latched onto the trend, and brands like Revlon were marketing to solely female consumers. Androygnous nails entered the conversation again when musicians like David Bowie and Kurt Cobain started painting their nails. Both of them

were criticized by the media for the style choice since people didn’t know how to comprehend men challenging gender roles. Goth subculture, however, introduced the true modern revitalization of androgynous nail art. Goth kids began painting their nails in shades of black and blood red, rebelling against societal norms. This is why Harry Styles’ pink “Watermelon Sugar” nails are great, but not revolutionary. It’s not a brand new phenomenon. Countless men before him have done the same, but mainstream media would have

Nail art, much like makeup, clothes and hairstyles, is another way of expressing who we are. A person’s nails may reveal a lot about them, depending on the color, length and style. Choosing a nail color is no one’s gender matter? Traditionalists say today’s men are denying their masculinity. The truth is, however, we only associate nail polish with women because big corporations told us to. We see women on billboards with beautiful red nails and we just assume that’s the way things are supposed to be. But it’s all so arbitrary. It’s like the argument that the color pink is for girls and the color blue is for boys. Says who? There is no reason we have to assign a gender to everything. After spending some time talking with the models for our shoot, I discovered that people paint their nails for a wide variety of reasons. Some, like

Adriana, like the juxtaposition of femme-looking nails with more masculine, baggy clothing. Others, like Shreya, make it their hobby, collecting colors and learning how to create intricate designs. It’s an art form that has existed and evolved for thousands of years. These days, androgyny is becoming more accepted because the media has decided it’s cool now. Celebrities like Troye Sivan, Harry Styles, A$AP Rocky, and even Brad Pitt have been sporting manicures lately. But just years ago, publications like Esquire could only focus on how Kurt Cobain’s “red nail varnish [was] badly chipped,” trying

It’s time to start acknowledging that fashion and beauty norms generally exist because, somewhere along the line, people sat in a company meeting room and created them. The things we read and see in advertisements, magazines and movies are all handpicked for us. We see exactly what corporate America wants us to see, and many never bother to look beyond that. Social media, however, is gradually altering this reality. With the click of a button, we can post whatever we want. We can make a TikTok or take an Instagram photo in seconds. Because of this, we are being exposed to more variety. We get a glimpse into hundreds of people’s lives as we scroll mindlessly. And, slowly but surely, we are

discovering that rules are meant to be broken when it comes to beauty. Thanks to social media, we see people of all genders wearing dresses, nail polish, heels, pants, three-piece suits, long hair, short hair, and more. We realize that we don’t have to be celebrities to break society’s “rules.” Now, more than ever, we are experimenting with what it means to just be yourself rather than a projection of gender norms. For some, breaking the rules starts with something as simple as buying a bottle of nail polish. Imagine how great it would be for that little boy playing with his mother’s nail polish to learn about how Babylonian warriors considered nail polish a symbol of strength rather than weakness. Think about how refreshing it would be to see a little vial of polish as nothing more than that. What if we normalized asking all children, not just girls, if they want to get their nails done for special school dances?

Nail art, much like makeup, clothes, and hairstyles, is a vehicle for self-expression.

Personally, I think everyone should try painting their nails at least once. It’s become a self-care ritual for me, as it allows me to take 45 minutes out of my day to do something that’s just for me. And sure, if you want to take inspiration from ahead. They are simply following in the footsteps of people thousands of years older than them. Let’s build a world where nail polish has no association with gender at all. Let’s let it be an expression rather than a statement.

The

Allure

of Disposable Cameras WRITING Martina Colzi Risaliti PHOTOGRAPHY Ina Chu DESIGN Jack Vogelsang

The Allure of Disposable Cameras

On any given night out with friends, encountering

than the orchestrated minutes of posing and time-

nothing surprising. No matter the time or occasion, there will probably be a disposable camera lingering around, ready for use. At any moment,

meaning.

and oversaturated photos have taken the current generation by storm. Why has this piece of the ‘90s come back? Disposable cameras have the capacity to store around 27 photos, while my iPhone currently stores over 10,000 photos spanning from the seventh grade to my sophomore year of college. Instead of time and money — the device in my back pocket allows me instant access to digitized memories and the ability to capture unlimited photos right now. But even though smartphones are far more convenient than a digital camera, hassle-free digital photos lack the allure that single-use cameras have always had: authenticity, tangibility, and exciting uncertainty.

angle, and facial expression to create the perfect photo. Disposable cameras take a picture of the world as it is. Although our society remains

addiction to disposable cameras. Friends midlaugh, genuine smiles, and unplanned moments are

Film cameras were the new buzz when my parents were in their 20s. Even after 28 years, my mom remembers what she ate on New Year’s Day in 1992 in Italy. “Risotto, spiedini e crostini di pane, e il dolce era frutta cotta con pinoli uvette e crumble (risotto, beef skewers, croutons, and a pine nut, raisin, and boiled fruit crumble),” she tells us, reminiscing. Those memories, frozen in time, allow for nostalgia to creep in. It reminds younger generations of a time before the digital age. A time where perfection wasn’t plaguing photography. A time where every trip, memory, and milestone was compiled into loving albums. My parents cherished these moments and each album was passed down to their children to get a glimpse of the lives our parents had before we were born. Flipping through each glossy photo, the memories are brought back to life. Younger generations are in search of that same nostalgic feeling older chase nostalgia by printing and mounting photos to cement moments in time, just like our parents did. To me, the 27 photos that come out of disposable cameras are like bookmarks highlighting vivid moments, always there to be browsed through in an album. But when I look back through the sea of photos stored on my phone, I sometimes forget what I was doing or the name of the person I was with.

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Another aspect of the disposable camera’s beauty is its tangibility. Disposable cameras don’t instantly preview photos for users to delete, edit, and retake as many times as they want. Takes are limited and hidden within the camera’s body. The photos will only be visible once they are developed, printed, and held. Holding a device printing, and returned with a physical product is a refreshing alternative to the digitization of photography. The feeling is more genuine and real. While smartphones are for the most part reliable — if I accidentally delete or lose pictures, they’ve been backed up or stored in the trash folder for me to retrieve — that trust removes the layer of excitement found with disposable cameras. Without mystery and excitement, taking digital pictures feels routinely ordinary. Despite being far less convenient than our smartphones, the return of disposable cameras Younger generations seek the analog to reclaim what has been lost as society has embraced the cold and pixelated world of digitized photography. our memories: fuzzy and imperfect, not-so-exact moments. It represents the way we remember the

or deep shadows. On multiple occasions, I’ve waited two weeks to receive photos, only to had captured. Without a backup system, those memories were lost and irretrievable. However, that never deterred me from buying more cameras and printing more photos. Disappointment is a risk I know I might encounter. It’s one of the rare a journey that disposable camera lovers will go through multiple times. The loss of some photos makes us cherish those that make it through the physical process even more. Once the envelope of prints is opened, it feels something like Christmas, where memories are unwrapped instead of toys or clothes. Memories a roller coaster of feelings and emotions. These physical photos are cemented on glossy photo paper and mounted on walls for display, rather than lost in a sea of megapixels. Film photography in its grainy imperfections brings back a candor missing in our daily lives. A physical representation photography is one of the few processes immune to our world's obsession with perfection. The product admired for its authenticity.

Disposable camera users experience a process of patience, uncertainty, and nerves that makes each photo much more meaningful. As they wait for their photos to be developed, they may worry that some of their 27 photos were ruined by overexposure

converg PHOTOGRAPHY Aung Thant Kyaw DESIGN Olivianne Iriarte MODELING Kaela Anderson David Guzov STYLING DIRECTION Aidan Baglivo Hillary Nana-Adjei STYLISTS Quirin Emanga Maggie Van Nortwick Nell Sweeney Cara O’Hanlon Marisa Goolgasian

CONTRIBUTING PHOTO DIRECTION Aung Thant Kyaw Calem Robertson SENIOR CREATIVE DIRECTION Simran Gvalani ASSOCIATE CREATIVE DIRECTION Kaela Anderson POETRY Ellie Maclean

The Moment for WRITING Ruhani Gandhi Nigam PHOTOGRAPHY Aishazhan Abuova DESIGN Claire Higgins

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To practice mindfulness is to train the mind to anchor to the present moment. For most of us, our attention is focused on ruminating on the past or anticipating the future. Mindfulness intentionally redirects our attention back to the present, not judging it, but simply witnessing. The practice usually involves closing your eyes and noticing the present moment around you and within you. Sometimes you engage your senses to observe the surrounding sounds, smells, and temperatures. the body, noting any tensions from head to toe before addressing and relaxing them. Most commonly, mindfulness involves paying attention to the breath, as the breath is the most portable and constant way to anchor us to the present moment — it is always with us. While doing these exercises, thoughts of plans with friends, upcoming assignments, and future meals will arise, as they naturally will. The goal is to notice these thoughts without engaging, and return back to the mindfulness practice at hand.

During the social isolation of the pandemic, Google searches for the words “breathing exercises,” “meditation,” and “relaxation” have skyrocketed. People are asking questions about how they can become comfortable being alone, what their purpose in life truly is, and how they can appreciate their surroundings. Luckily, mindfulness has had the answers for over 6,000 years. Thousands of years ago, mindfulness was practiced Buddhism and Hinduism as commonly mentioned. Mindfulness also has roots in Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. However, the Western practice of mindfulness is largely indebted to Buddhist mindfulness. Many Western leaders in mindfulness learned from Buddhist teachers, and mindfulness is emphasized extensively in Buddhism — “sati,” or the practice was adopted further West, mindfulness expanded from religious to secular use.

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Today, mindfulness has exploded into the practices of the modern world. As reported by Penn Medicine, health professionals use mindfulness to treat depression, anxiety, PTSD, eating disorders, physical pain, and many other mental and physical illnesses. Schools and colleges have started to integrate mindfulness to help students improve focus and manage stress. Professional athletes practice mindfulness meditation daily to improve their performance. Companies like Apple and LinkedIn begin their workdays with mindfulness to improve productivity and interpersonal interactions. Celebrities have been very public about the role of mindfulness meditation in their success. Mindful.org claims that mindfulness meditation is the fastest growing health trend in America, and the popularity is there to prove it. It’s important to note that the Western adaptation of mindfulness is a form of cultural appropriation, a for Western palate. In addition to alienating people of color, Westernization diminishes the power of mindfulness practice itself. The West has rebranded mindfulness as a get-better-quick technique, when minutes. Rather, it is a way of existing in the world.

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corporate interest in mindfulness. Mindfulness has become a band-aid, a solution to acclimating employees to the stress and chaos of the business world. But as Bhikkhu Bodhi, a vocal Western Buddhist monk, said in , “absent a sharp social critique, Buddhist practices could easily be used to justify and stabilize the status quo, becoming a reinforcement of consumer capitalism.” This form of mindfulness is a reactive way of addressing employee distress and boosting productivity, rather than a proactive way of creating healthier work environments. The ancient practice of mindfulness has been repackaged as a trend. And like any American trend, there’s an app for it — actually, more than 2,500 mindfulness apps exist, according to USA Today. And recently, mindfulness app downloads doubled in 2020 as people struggled to ease their anxiety and depression, according to The Washington Post. These apps are certainly convenient and easy to navigate, and the idea of mindfulness is becoming more widespread as a result.

BUT IN REALITY MINDFULNESS IS NOT A QUICK FIX THAT TAKES 10 MINUTES.

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TRUST YOURSELF – YOU ARE CAPABLE OF MORE THAN YOU THINK.

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But the apps were made in a Western ecosystem, and thus carry Western values. Andy Puddicombe, the co-founder of best-selling app Headspace, explains that the app is popular because it “meet[s] people where they are.” A majority of users are the practice and expect an instant download and solution. But when they are greeted without warning from judgmental thoughts and feelings — a natural

destructive. Being mindful, like anything that needs practice, is a skill that takes time to develop. By misleadingly framing mindfulness as a quick antidote, Western mindfulness may have turned many away from a journey of spiritual contentment. But once one understands that mindfulness will not be easy, the apps can be a good place to start. Guided mindfulness meditation apps are simply the training wheels providing guidance about what to focus on, and now that you know what to look for it’s time to be your own guide. I started my own practice of mindfulness to reduce anxiety, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised by its other powers. My focus has improved, something that social media has been chipping away at for years. But mindfulness has redirected my attention back to the task at hand, the people in my view, and the day that it is today. I have access to any time and place, but also increasingly to the present. And when I am in the present moment, I have more gratitude for the little things that I notice around me.

meditated, the prompt asked me to let my mind wander. I was at the lifetime height of my anxiety, so my thoughts crescendoed, rising to a self-deprecating tsunami. Then it asked me to focus back on my breath, and for a brief moment, the tsunami stopped building. I was at peace. When the meditation ended, the tsunami eventually crashed, and I cried and cried. Partially because the of the realization that I was not my thoughts, nor the things people say to or about me. For a brief moment, I was able to move away from those thoughts — to pause a tsunami.

Whether you are considering mindfulness because of your belief in science or your belief in spirituality, the journey is the same. Start with the apps, then once you understand the process, try to give yourself that guidance on your own. Trust yourself — you are capable of more than you think. Make it a habit and practice every day. And lastly, be kind to yourself. Mindfulness will not immediately feel as if is restlessness you may not have expected, thought patterns that may surprise you, gratitude that may overwhelm you. It is healing in the most beautiful way — entirely by yourself.

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The Ink of Our Skin WRITING Husein Esufally MODELING Nathan Castro Husein Esufally PHOTOGRAPHY Jordan Alves DESIGN Thandiwe Tembo

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A blank canvas may be appealing to some, but what if it is splashed with an array of paints and transformed beyond its static origin? In the tattoos that we bear, the activity, texture, and authenticity of the artwork is resonant within ourselves. Everyone has an identity that colors them in a unique way, much like a blank canvas. Our individuality is the central pillar that allows us to accomplish the things that were once thought impossible. At a time where individuality is being pushed to the forefront, why are distinct markers of our personal identity being scrutinized? Not only are our tattoos imbued with a deep personal notion, but their decoration on our body is an eternal reminder of a timeless message — a promise to yourself. Perhaps there are more sensible ways to better yourself. But just as prayer is precious to some and redundant to others, tattoos gather various points of view — is it an art form or the signature of the devil? Regardless, the power of the tattoo lies in its ability to communicate through a series of words, emblems, or colors. There is a certain unspoken attachment between a tattoo and its holder. Discovering your tattoo is an exciting time as you take a pilgrimage within yourself.

strength, and embrace your character. The making of a meaningful tattoo demands that you be both insightful and creative, generating artwork that As you age, so do your tattoos. Their meanings will be as rich in 80 years as they were the day you got inked. They become checkpoints of your growth and markers of your identity.

ingraining pigments onto the body. Various tribes across the globe, such as those in the Tahitian and Polynesian islands, openly practiced tattooing as a rite of passage for their members. The nature of the design indicated the hierarchy within the community, distinguishing both fresh recruits and wise elders.

For some, that may be searching for the energy to heal wounds that have tormented you for too reminds you to awaken your will, harness your

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However, an antithetical ideology began to circulate, one that denounced the art form. This stigma against tattoos manifested for several reasons. For example, tattooing was used as an exclusive branding mechanism for criminals and prisoners in Japan’s Edo Period, and during World War II, the Nazis carved numbers on bodies for bureaucratic record keeping. The spread of these practices constructed a powerful, misguided portrayal of tattooing that equated it to savagery and blasphemy. The failure to highlight the cultural value of tattoos and the vision of tattoo artists cast a nefarious shadow over the art form.

The art of tattooing is regaining traction as many paired with the rising activism and awareness of the tattoo artist community. It is being revamped as a prominent form of self-expression and appreciated for its anecdotal nature. The latter heavily

My philosophy for tattoos leans on two pillars — personal and minimalistic. It took me a few years to cultivate my insignia in order to ensure that my tattoo would resonate with me throughout my life. To this end, I now bear a tattoo of the date I came out, engraved on my inner right bicep. I always joke that I was the last person to my own coming out, but I struggled with confessing my sexuality mindset — on its head. Who could imagine those

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one of the most treasured gifts I have given myself, as it is an oath to be brave, sensitive, and unapologetically myself. Any time homophobia decides to creep under my skin, I glance at my arm, and I am reminded of the vow I made. If done right, tattoos can transform your body into a personalized art gallery that journals your life experiences. Originality stands at the frontier of

exhumes beauty, for the captivating nature of the tattoo is not the art alone, but its relationship to the bearer. It may take some time, but you owe it to yourself to choose a design that embodies your story.

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WRITING Elsie Wang DESIGN / ILLUSTRATION Lila Hathaway

A Letter to My Mother Dear Mama, It has been almost two years since I’ve left home and embarked on my next level of life, one that’s not led by your advice and lectures. Two years since I realized that the world hasn’t gotten colder, I've just slipped beyond the reach of your warm embrace. At one point in my life, I know that I thought we between us seemed vast and unforgiving. But with years between that thought and now, as I sit isolated as a 19-year-old in college and further from home than I ever have been, I wonder why I ever thought that to begin with.

“Don’t lay in bed on your phone all day,” you would scold. “Do you want to lose your eyes?” I would respond, as always, “I know, I know,” and hold my phone further from myself for a few minutes before falling back into old habits. For all I understood, I had great eyesight. “What are you wearing?” you would question. “It’s bad to attract so much attention.” “I shouldn’t be punished just because other people like to stare,” I would snap, before reluctantly getting a jacket to cover up. We were living in America, why couldn’t my mom let go of her traditional beliefs?

I remember feeling like the shelter you’ve built I didn’t understand why I shouldn’t hold my phone too close to my face, why I shouldn’t draw too much attention to myself in public, or why my curfew was so strict.

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“It’s dangerous to stay out late,” you would say. “Why do you always want to go out?” I would fume, complaining, “All my friends get to hang out after school, why can’t I?” And for the rest of the week, I would apologize to my friends whenever they invited me to anything and blame my absences on my mom.

“I’m telling you these things for your own good,” you would say at the end of every lecture. “When

experience. Years of living that I have only started to get a taste of. You left your own mother and family to come to America, unprotected and alone to fend for yourself. Each teaching you tried to

I couldn’t be more eager to venture to the other side of the country. “Not because I wanted to be far from home,” I told myself. “Because I need a change of scenery.”

yourself. Something that you wished I would understand before I left your protection, before I have any regrets.

What I didn’t realize was that that shelter you built had protected me from the bad weather that I didn't even know existed. Your roof provided stepping out of that shelter, I realized that you cared for every aspect of my life in a way that I was not able to see yet. And I’m sorry I was not able to understand what you went through until I, too, decided to leave home. All of the things you used to lecture me about slowly started to make sense. Don’t go out too late. Be careful who you trust. Don’t drink cold beverages after a hot meal. I see now that you are shaped from years of

You wanted to protect your daughter from the small pricks and the big pains. You worried that my eyesight would deteriorate vision before I even reached adulthood. You saw your little girl in the children that got taken advantage of. You wanted to protect me from dangers of the world the best way you knew how. To tell me not to go out late or attract any attention, much less negative attention.

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You did your best to bestow your knowledge within me before I took my own steps into the world, without you by my side. These days, I hope you didn’t think I was trying to run away from you. I hope you understand that no place has ever been as warm and forgiving as your me through my loneliness, and I am keeping my promise to you that I won't forget anything you have taught me. What a blessing it is, to have someone who genuinely wants the best for me in every way.

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My mom was born right at the end of Mao ZeDong’s life in Xinjiang, China. Her mother (my grandmother) was Ukrainian-Chinese, one of the many ethnic minorities in China and her dad (my grandfather) was Chinese. When my mom was born, she was sent to be raised with her aunt, who was struggling to have children at the time. My grandma had four of her own already, and sending her youngest daughter to her younger sister helped conserve enough food to feed the rest of the family, but also was a kind gesture to her desperate sister. My mom grew up to age 13 living with her aunt, at which point she returned to her birth parents. From the limited stories she’s told me, it was a jarring experience uniting with siblings and parents you have never met and being expected to easily become a part of the family. From then, she studied and worked in Xinjiang until she was 21, when she met my father on a trip and they started dating. A few years later, they were married and had my older sister. My mom was still young and, frankly, hadn’t grown up yet. After my sister was born, she and my father planned to immigrate to the U.S. and raise their family there.

My mother did not know any English and had no family in the U.S. But, determined for the sake of the future of her children, she agreed to leave her home and come to America. There, she had me, the second daughter. My father traveled for business, often leaving my mom in the U.S. alone to raise my sister and I while he worked overseas. She struggled to make friends, to raise us, to survive with a large language barrier, and for years, she struggled with mental health issues like depression. She went through so much to raise my sister and me to be resilient and strong like she is. Behind the stern teachings of a mother was a girl that grew up too quickly and wanted to protect her daughters from the same rough life that she had faced. My mom truly is the strongest person I know and she inspires me every day.

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no really, how are you?

WRITING Emma van Guens DESIGN / ILLUSTRATION Kimmy Curry

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pandemic. There are few things COVID-19 hasn’t taken from us — thousands of lives and jobs have been lost. The past year has meant isolation, loneliness, and the end of the life we knew and took for granted. But there is something to be said for the other day, I listened to an episode of NPR’s podcast “It’s Been a Minute with Sam Sanders” featuring guest musician Phoebe Bridgers, whose melancholy music was the soundtrack to my 2020. Bridgers brought up something that struck a chord with me — the fact that, for once in our lives, you?” honestly.

great. Now the obligatory answer is, well, you know, everything sucks but…” Bridgers said. In the era of COVID-19, there is no more running away from how you feel. Perhaps the one positive outcome of the pandemic has been a collective one was ready for their life to be upheaved, and everyone has their story. Here is mine. Coming up to that fateful week in March when quarantine began, my life felt like running on a treadmill set at an impossible pace. I was falling behind in every part of my life and could hardly keep up — nearly everything gave me extreme stress and anxiety. In the weeks leading up to the lockdown, there was a death in my family, my parents got divorced, and I was going through a tough breakup. Before I was able to process anything, I was packed up and shipped home to sit in my childhood bedroom, alone, isolated, and

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Personally, it wasn’t just the isolation and loneliness that made life’s halting so bad for me. It was the weeks, months, and even years of unresolved emotions that returned and plagued me in the early months of quarantine. For once, I couldn’t just distract myself and move on to the next thing. I had to acknowledge my unhealthy coping mechanisms and deal with the mental health issues that I had been too afraid to face before the pandemic. I’m not alone in this. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, the number of adults reporting symptoms of anxiety or depressive disorders has quadrupled since 2019. For 18- to 24-year-olds who are already at a higher risk for these disorders, 56 percent reported symptoms of anxiety and depressive disorders, and 26 percent reported suicidal ideations. For health care workers, parents, and communities of color, there has also been a notable increase in reported struggles with mental health. These numbers are higher due to harder times brought on by the pandemic, but also potentially because people are forced to face these strained emotions. In quarantine isolation, nothing is more helpful than a stable emotional state. Sometimes it takes losing everything to rebuild something better. Emphasis on mental health — and advocacy for it — has been gaining traction for decades. But it may have taken a radical break from normalcy, one which launched the world into a communal spiral substantial change.

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I was raised to think emotions were simply a distraction from hard work and success, and I never really knew how to ask for help. It took hitting rock bottom, with no way of digging myself my mental health. I started a journal, quit calorie tracking, made sure to spend time outside every day, and signed up for counseling and psychiatry. And I’ve learned, after spending months of quality time with me, myself, and I, to practice gratitude and to relish in the little things. Resources for mental health contacts, coping mechanisms, podcasts, and TED Talks have Northeastern, UHCS provides free counseling, psychiatry, and group counseling programs for students — now over video chat and the phone to stay COVID-safe. Massachusetts has waived insurance copay on telehealth therapy during the pandemic. Some counseling and advocacy groups, such as BEAM and Therapy for Black Girls, communities and people of color who have been hit hardest by COVID-19. The push for personal wellness has been higher than ever, a sliver of a silver lining for the last year. And here we all sit, nearly a year later. This pandemic is far from over, and life after COVID-19 will leave deep scars for those hit hardest. But there is hope for a novel form of social consciousness, one focused on the ultimate goal of wellness where we are comfortable vocalizing The world lies dormant, but when we awaken, who will we be? And how will you answer the question, honestly, “How are you?”

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Awakening

Articles inside

A Letter to My Mother

Androgyny in Our Nails

No Really, How Are You?

092 CONVERGENCE

The Art of Waking Up Like This

Queer Coding: Using Beauty to Foster Identity

Hairy? Yes We Are… and We Like It

Kid Super and the Rise of Independent Fashion Brands

The Routine of Routines

The Resurgence of Thinspiration

028 WONDER

The Conscious World of Stine Goya