The Stranger Vol. 22, No. 45

Study Guide Questions for The Stranger, Volume 22, Issue 45

1a. In colloquial terms, JEN GRAVES “rules the roost” this week, with a long feature about local artist Buster Simpson and a long review of a book about the political inclinations of artists. On a separate piece of paper, please demonstrate which story is more inessential. That is to say, which piece contributes less to the ultimate goal of our species’ survival on this planet? Use facts, not opinions, to bolster your argument.

1b. Starting in two weeks, The Stranger is hosting a series of events at the Frye Art Museum highlighting artists who’ve been shortlisted for a Genius Award. Buster Simpson’s newest show is also at the Frye Art Museum. Graves writes a glowing review of Simpson’s show. Follow the money: Which institution benefits more from this obvious promotional agreement? Why?

1c. Graves’s very long book review means that Stranger books editor PAUL CONSTANT wasn’t able to write a book review this week. Recognizing that both options are suboptimal, is more writing by Graves and less writing by Constant better, in your opinion, or vice versa? Which of their surnames gives you more of a feeling of doom?

2. DEREK ERDMAN’s memoir piece about working as a receptionist at Sub Pop Records spins back and forth between past tense and present tense. Where do you think the editing process failed Mr. Erdman? Using forensic literary criticism, do you believe that any sort of an editor ever even looked at this piece before publication?

3. In the music section, EMILY NOKES also writes about Sub Pop. Why?

4. The news section contains an item about local women and equal pay. Do you believe that The Stranger pays female staffers equally to male staffers? Why isn’t this information provided in the piece? Is that not relevant to the story?

5. Last Days is again guest-written by CIENNA MADRID. It is exclusively focused on pain, suffering, and misery. One assumption a reader could make is that Madrid, knowing she is not even one-sixteenth as funny as regular Last Days columnist David Schmader, has decided to focus on serious bodily injury as a “coping mechanism.” Are there any other probable assumptions a reader might make as to what lies behind Madrid’s unfunny, morbid journey into death and heartbreak? Be creative!

’s website.

LAST DAYS

The Week in Review

BY CIENNA MADRID

ONE HULK’S OPINION

MONDAY, JULY 1 This week of tragic fires and flag-waving stupidity kicks off with a dramatic courtroom suicide, courtesy of a predatory tire salesman. Fox4ck.com reports today that moments after 48-year-old Steve Parsons, owner of Missouri’s own Parson’s Tire & Service, was convicted of sodomizing a 14-year-old girl, he drank from a cup he’d brought with him into the courtroom, seized, and died. “It’s not common to see someone just fall over dead in the courtroom even though they’ve just been found guilty of a crime,” Sheriff Darrin White, who was in the courtroom at the time, helpfully explained to reporters. The likely cause of Parsons’s impeccably timed death? Cyanide poisoning. Authorities would soon discover that Parsons had ordered cyanide online and had it shipped overnight to his home, reports CBSNews. com. Had he lived to serve out his seven-year prison term, Parsons would’ve had to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life. However, prosecuting attorney Jerry Biggs was quick to point out that the real victim in all this remains Parsons’s original victim: “This was a girl who had been wronged and was determined and brave enough to make things right,” Biggs said. Condolences to the young woman, and here’s hoping that cyanide becomes the trendy drink of choice for more sexual predators.

BROKE UP

It’s been one year since the breakup. You said it isn’t like a relationship, but you’re wrong. Breaking up a band is worse. But honestly, the rest of us were just breaking up with you. You’ve told us before that at least three other bands asked you to leave and then re-formed without you, but you acted so surprised when it happened again. Can’t you take the hint? That’s not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about our lost friendship. I dressed up and went to court with you when your basement got broken into. I gave your mother “family” discounts at my store and bought you chai. We played music and talked shit and trusted each other. After our falling out, a close friend of mine died, and I called you up, saying that I wanted to patch things up between us in case one of us died, and you told me that you wouldn’t care if “Fuck you” is the last thing I ever heard from you. I never want to play music with you, or even be in the same room with you, but I still love you.

TUESDAY, JULY 2 Speaking of hot new trends, today Seattle police officers reported finding a dog and a pig in sweatpants trapped in a hot car in Magnolia. Officers were called to the scene at around 9 p.m. by a passerby, who’d spotted the animals in distress. “Even late in the evening, it was still about 86 degrees outside and presumably even hotter inside the car,” states SPDblotter.seattle.gov.

“Inside the vehicle, officers found a small, panting dog and a lethargic pot bellied pig— dressed in a pair of sweatpants for some reason—along with empty food and water bowls, and quite a bit of feces.” They also found the keys left in the car’s ignition. After giving the animals fresh water and airing out the car, officers located the neglectful owner in a bar down the street. They promptly confronted the man about dressing one pet in sweatpants and leaving them both in a hot, unventilated car without food or water to stew in their own shit. “The man—who had been at the bar for about 45 minutes—was quite agitated, and demanded that officers show him where they had found feces in his vehicle. So they did,” the police blog notes. After once again ensuring that the animals were recovering, officers turned the case over to Renton Animal Control for investigation (the animals’ owner lives outside Seattle). That’s some mighty fine work, SPD.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 3 Today brings the first detailed account of the deaths of 19 wildland firefighters, who perished while working to save a small subdivision outside of Yarnell, Arizona, on Sunday. The firefighters—part of a highly trained hotshot crew known for their ability to contain remote fires—were called in to protect homes “threatened by a lightning-ignited fire that had rapidly grown in size, fed by scorching weather and blustery winds,” reports the LA Times. The crew had mapped out an escape route, as well as a safety zone, and was making progress battling the fire when another sudden, violent thunderstorm changed the direction of the flames and “threw their plans awry,” the Times continues. The team’s leader, Eric Marsh, a man with 23 years of experience, radioed superiors to say they were deploying their emergency shelters—a Hail Mary defense against encroaching fire. “From what I’ve heard, it was the calmest they’ve ever heard Eric,” fire department spokesman Wade Ward told the newspaper. “They were in a tight spot and everyone knew this was going to be a bitch. But his voice was very calm: ‘We’re deploying.’” Helicopter crews tried desperately to spot the firefighters through the smoke, while other aircrews made water drops over the area where they suspected the trapped firefighters had deployed. Officials later found their bodies in a single group, huddled together. As one fire manager told the paper, “Everything that could burn burned.” Condolences to everyone who lost a loved one.

THURSDAY, JULY 4 The week continues with a spate of mostly avoidable, all-American horror stories, courtesy of Independence Day. While the majority of Americans were content with waving their tiny flags, consuming 150

Hulk Offer Edward Snowden Sanctuary! by the Incredible Hulk

Dear puny Edward Snowden, It am Hulk! Hulk have proposition for puny Edward Snowden. Hulk hear you on run from government. JUST LIKE HULK! Hulk hear you leaky with military secrets. HULK HATE MILITARY! Hulk hear you stuck in Russia? HULK HAVE NO OPINION EITHER WAY ABOUT RUSSIA! But Hulk want to know… does puny Edward Snowden want to live with Hulk?

Think about: Puny Edward Snowden need place to live… Hulk need roommate! Hard for Hulk to afford two-bedroom Craftsman bungalow in Wallingford. Hulk former roommate puny hippie. Puny hippie accuse Hulk of not adhering to chore wheel. BUT PUNY HIPPIE SMELL LIKE PATCHOULI COVERED IN GARBAGE! Hulk throw hippie out. Now puny landlord threaten Hulk! Puny landlord say if Hulk can’t pay rent, he put new locks on Hulk door and sell Hulk recumbent bike! PUNY LANDLORD REAL JERK!

But Hulk make rent if puny Edward Snowden roommate. Puny Edward Snowden be happy here! Hulk bungalow have many modern convenience. Hulk have Wi-Fi. Hulk have washer and dryer. Hulk have Xbox. Hulk have muscles Hulk use to SMASH, SMASH, SMASH President Obama if he try extradite puny Edward Snowden. Plus Hulk promise not to spy on puny Edward Snowden e-mails. (Hulk know puny Edward Snowden hate that.) But puny Edward Snowden have to promise not open big mouth about Hulk secrets—such as Hulk like occasional pedicure. COME LIVE WITH HULK, PUNY EDWARD SNOWDEN! Puny Edward Snowden need sanctuary… Hulk need… well, Hulk need friend.

Signed, Hulk

P.S. Rent $900 month. Three-month deposit. No pets, Hulk eat. Puny Julian Assange not invited.

million hot dogs, and safely lighting off 25 million pounds of fireworks , a select few honored the Fourth by engaging in casually risky behavior. For example: Timesdispatch. com reports that a 7-year-old Virginia boy was walking to a fireworks show when he was fatally struck in the head by a stray bullet that authorities believe was shot randomly into the air. A young Oklahoma boy was run over and killed by a parade float driven by his father , reports Q13Fox. com. An Indiana teen suffered “severe internal injuries” when he fell off a wagon in a parade and it ran over his chest and abdomen, theindychannel.com reports. A Chicago woman had her left foot blown off by an illegal fireworks show in Chicago, reports WGNtv.com. More than two dozen people in Los Angeles were injured when a platform containing fireworks tipped over and shot pyrotechnics into the crowd, reports CSMonitor.com, which notes that a bomb squad “deactivate[d] the remainder of the fireworks.” And in Maine, a parade was rerouted after a man engaged police and “allegedly fired an estimated 70 shots at officers from his apartment” in a four-hour standoff before the town’s celebration, ABCnews.com reports. Then, following the suspect’s arrest, “the parade turned deadly after a man driving a tractor was fatally struck by a vintage fire truck.”

FRIDAY, JULY 5 Today, authorities announced the capture of Wanda Podgurski, a 60-year-old woman who skipped her trial—

and the country—after being charged with insurance fraud. In June, Podgurski was sentenced in absentia to more than 20 years in prison and ordered to pay more than $1 million in fines and restitution, reports Komonews.com. In response, Podgurski allegedly taunted authorities with tweets, including “Catch me if you can” and “Help find me before I con anyone else.” This week, authorities will use Podgurski’s tweets to trace her to Rosarito Beach, Mexico, “a popular retirement spot for American expats only 15 miles south of San Diego.” She has since pled not guilty to failure to appear in court while free on bail. Idiot.

SATURDAY, JULY 6 Nothing happened today, except the crash of an Asiana Airlines plane in San Francisco, which killed two Chinese teenagers headed to summer camp and injured more than 180 other passengers. Investigators will soon reveal that the controlling pilot was still training on Boeing 777 jets and had only 43 hours of experience flying the plane, and no experience landing it, the Chicago Tribune reports.

SUNDAY JULY 7 Nothing happened today.

Send hot tips to lastdays@thestranger.com and follow me on Twitter @ciennam.

CAUGHT

’MERICA!

HONK IF YOU HOT HAM

MAXIMIZE

.....with one of these lounge-worthy sectionals. Each has great design and accommodating features like modular versatility, expert tufting, or ratchet-backs. Available in select covers for immediate gratification or custom order from additional choices. Imported. Exclusively ours. SPECIAL PRICING ENDS JULY 31 - ONLY AT OUR OUTLET.

MATRIX $999 List $1995

Stocked in brown, and charcoal fabric. 113" x 83" x 24"h.

MADERA $1199 List $1995

Stocked in white, and brown bonded leather. 103" x 68" x 28"-36"h.

CHELSEA $899 List $1395

Stocked in taupe, and charcoal fabric. 108"x 72"x 32"h.

Suffering from terrible anal pain? Does it hurt to go to the bathroom? You may have an anal fissure. (We’re completely serious and may be able to help)

You may qualify for a research study of an investigational cream. All study related medication and treatment will be provided at no cost. You do not need health insurance to participate. If eligible, you will be compensated for time and travel.

Run, Jane, Run! Smart, Ambitious Women Discuss Why Smart,

Ambitious Women Aren’t Running for Local Office

BY CIENNA MADRID AND ANNA MINARD

Washington State loves women: Washington voters granted women the right to vote in 1910, a full decade before women’s suffrage became the law of the land. And in 1926, Seattle

elected its first lady mayor, Bertha Knight Landes, making her the first woman to hold that position in any major US city.

But lately, even as the country makes strides to catch up to our love of kick-ass women, our state has been slipping down the ranks. We used to be first in the country for electing women to the state legislature—this year, we’re eighth. In 2004, 37 percent of our state legislators were women; we’ve dropped to 30 percent this year.

Locally, those numbers are worse: Since 2003, only 26 percent of candidates in city races have been women (we’re counting city council, city attorney, and mayor, since, while school board positions are elected citywide, let’s face it, it’s not a springboard to anything more than early political retirement). We haven’t had a female mayor in Seattle since Landes’s reign, and the three women running for mayor this year—a Frisbee coach/librarian, a failed Seattle school board candidate, and a starry-eyed socialist— received ratings of merely “adequate” or “not qualified” from the Municipal League of King County. In other words, the three women running for mayor are joke candidates. Seattle is facing an embarrassing dearth of qualified women running for office.

But there are smart, ambitious, qualified women behind the scenes at all levels of local politics. So why aren’t they running for office?

Women Have a Money Problem

When considering a run for office, a candidate’s first step is calling a consultant, whose first question will be “Can you call X number of people tonight and ask them for X number of dollars to fund your campaign?” If they can’t, they’re not viable.

“Many women are daunted by the need to raise money, and how much money you need to

Why Men Think More Women Don’t Run

BY GOLDY (A MAN)

Lraise,” explains Linda Mitchell, president of the National Women’s Political Caucus of Washington, which recruits women to run for office and offers campaign and leadership training.

In Seattle politics, a campaign can cost more than a quarter-million dollars—which is one reason why aspiring politicians like Noel Frame ran last year to represent a state legislative district, which contains less than one quarter of the city’s population. “You can win a legislative race by organizing and knocking on doors,” says Frame, who ran to represent the 36th District in Northwest Seattle. Frame says she would “be much more inclined” to run for

The city council and state legislature are only about one-third female.

Seattle City Council if we moved to a district system, such as one proposed on this year’s November ballot, which would divide the city into seven smaller segments. “I could connect with a finite amount of voters, at the door,” she says.

Some municipalities have started to adopt district elections or public campaign financing models (which Seattle voters will also be voting on this fall). Women are twice as likely to take advantage of public campaign financing systems, according to the Center for Governmental Studies, a public interest nonprofit.

Not only are women reluctant to raise funds, says Pramila Jayapal, who started the immigrant advocacy organization OneAmerica, but “elections often have a lot of business money,” and “a lot of that business money doesn’t go to women”—perhaps, she posits, because of stereotypes that men belong in

ots of differences separate the two sexes, but for the most part, the question of why more women don’t run for office isn’t one of them. An informal survey of penis-laden political knowit-alls mostly echoes the answers of their female counterparts: Money, families, and institutional barriers keep ladies out of races.

But the men did raise one additional factor.

“Women aren’t as attracted to conflict,” says Washington State Republican Party chair Kirby Wilbur. “The name-calling is probably a deterrent to all decent people,” says Wilbur, whose long career as a conservative-talk-radio host allows him to speak with authority on name-calling. “But especially to women.”

Democratic consultant John Wyble doesn’t disagree. “If you’re new to politics, your first lens on politics is a DC lens,” he says, and “given the toxicity in DC, it’s a real hard time to get people to commit.”

So are women the gentler, less-combative sex? Washington State Democratic Party chair Dwight Pelz—a preeminent namecaller in his own right—sure doesn’t seem to think so. “When I was in the legislature, we had very, very strong women. We had

leadership positions.

But Senator Patty Murray, who’s been representing Washington State in the US Senate for 20 years and is the first woman to chair the powerful budget committee, says that when women dismiss the myth that women can’t raise money, they’re actually incredibly successful: “The women who are senators today have raised more money than their male counterparts,” she says. “I think it’s because we really work hard at it because we’re worried about it.”

For example, in 2012, the Democratic women running for senate blasted their male competitors, in part through funneled donations from groups like EMILY’s List, which supports prochoice women candidates. Multiple Republican women outraised their 2012 opponents, too. And generally, academic research into the gender gap in politics shows that women suffer no fundraising disadvantage.

Murray adds, “More women should donate politically. Men feel freer to open their wallets.” She’s right: Opensecrets.org, which tracks political contributions, reports that, historically, men donate far more to political candidates than women do.

The Political Establishment Doesn’t Recruit as Many Women

There’s a mantra in politics: You have to ask women at least three times before they’ll say yes to running for office. But what if that

tough women,” Pelz fondly recalls. “One of the scariest moments in the state senate was a debate between Linda Smith and Mary Margaret Haugen. All the boy senators got under their desks.”

Pelz thinks the difference between male and female politicians is generally overblown. “Was it a great day for politics when the secretary of state was an African American woman who wanted to kill peasants in the Middle East?” Pelz asks rhetorically. “Condoleezza Rice was an imperialist and a war criminal who lied to the American people about the reasons to go to war in Iraq,” Pelz says bluntly. “Yeah… women have come a long way.”

Of course, women have come a long way, especially in the Democratic Party, even if they’ve given up some ground in recent legislative elections. But the real question Pelz seems to raise is: Does having more women in politics end up changing politics?

“We need more Republican women in politics, not just more women,” insists Wilbur, pointing to Secretary of State Kim Wyman as the sort of competent female face the GOP desperately needs.

“I don’t know that it would change our policies and what we do,” admits Wilbur, “but it would change the image of our party.”

But if recruiting women is more about changing image than changing policy, the more important question to ask about women in politics is: What’s the point?

question isn’t raised at all?

“Women are not asked to run for office,” says Frame, who ran in her state legislative race against two women and five men. “Young men are asked to run all the time, but we—we simply aren’t asked.”

Being encouraged to run is crucial for many men and women. An American University study released earlier this year (cringingly titled “Girls Just Wanna Not Run”) notes that if they were encouraged to seek for public office—by their families, friends, or mentors—66 percent of young women and 84 percent of young men considered a career in politics. But if they weren’t encouraged to do so, only 21 percent of women and 32 percent of men even considered the idea. The study, which was trying to understand the ambition gap between men and women, also reinforces what Frame says: Women simply aren’t socialized to consider running for office the same way men are.

And that’s cemented later in life by institutional barriers. “I don’t think we have the same commitment from the political parties,” argues Jayapal. “The political establishment keeps pushing forward their own candidates who come up through whatever traditional political tracks there are,” she says. Jayapal, Mitchell, Frame, and Murray concur that women must be recruited early. But right now? “I don’t think that structure is there,” Jayapal says.

Women

Have a Kid Problem

Few men go on record saying they won’t run for office out of concern for their children, many women point out. But that’s still a factor for ambitious women.

During her yearlong campaign, Frame says, “I experienced a lot of guilt not being at home to take care of my teenage cousin.” (Frame is the teen’s primary caregiver.) “There’s a superwoman complex that a lot of women have to battle against.”

Jayapal, too, has a kid to think of, which may have influenced her decision last year not to run for office. “I have a 16-year-old son… If I want to run for something, now would be a good time, because I’ve left OneAmerica,” she says. “But I don’t want to give up being around for his last two years.” That could change if workplaces, political ones

JAMES YAMASAKI

included, had more “family-friendly policies,” like child care and flexible schedules, she continues.

A hostile campaign environment might also affect a family. Senator Murray, who’s been recruiting women to run for office for 20 years, says that “women tend to say long before men do, ‘Well, I’m worried about what running will do to my family, with all the negativity out there.’” Her advice is to involve kids in a campaign from the start. They can take it, she says, and never running means your would-be critics win by default. “I figure that’s giving it to them, and we should be tough.”

Women Are Reluctant to Run Against Peers

Women have more qualms about challenging friends and colleagues than men do—and

they’re more likely to be punished for running.

“I still get chastised, by women, for running against a woman 20 years my senior,” says Frame, who lost her race in the 36th District to Gael Tarleton, a 54-year-old former Seattle port commissioner whose politics have catered more to big-money donors and business interests. Frame says, “Older generations of women feel like they’ve patiently waited to run for office and now it’s their turn. That’s not helpful, and it has to stop.”

Compounding that problem is a genderspecific inferiority complex.

“I think women are more likely to focus on their weaknesses while men are more likely to say, ‘There is no one better,’ and have healthier egos,” notes Anne Levinson, a former King County judge and current civilian auditor of the Seattle Police Department, who has been encouraged for years to run for mayor (or

any higher office). The American University study notes that, professional and educational backgrounds being equal, young men are almost 60 percent more likely to see themselves as “very qualified” to run for office, while young women are more than twice as likely to rate themselves “not at all qualified.”

One woman, who asked to remain anonymous, theorized that Seattle City Council president Sally Clark, who happens to be a lesbian, stayed out of the race for mayor—a position Clark has the knowledge and skills to execute—in an effort to be polite to a gay man who knows less about city issues but was already running for mayor: state senator Ed Murray. “Does being a legislator qualify you for running the city?” the woman dished.

“Sally wouldn’t run for mayor because of Ed—she’s being deferential to the LGBT community. But she has way more familiarity and experience in city government.”

Women Think They Can Contribute More Elsewhere

Women interested in public service might avoid elected office if they feel they can be more effective elsewhere. “If you’re going to spend time and make change, are you going to go into the political arena, or are you going to a place where they do not marginalize women and people of color?” says Jayapal, who is now working on a national campaign aimed at engaging women in immigration reform.

This is especially true in a progressive city like Seattle, where “women might be content with the value decisions being made,” explains Levinson, contrasting Seattle’s pro-publicbreast-feeding and paid-sick-leave legislation with a recent daylong, woman-led filibuster in Austin, Texas, to block a severely restrictive senate abortion bill. “If you’re living in a red city, or state, you might be more compelled to stand up and fight,” Levinson says.

What Can Be Done?

While institutional barriers remain pervasive, many of them amount to discouraging (or simply not encouraging) women to run. But once a woman files for office, she may have an advantage.

A recent article by Molly Ball in the Atlantic dismantled the conventional wisdom that women are disadvantaged in elections, saying they now have an equal shot at winning. In recent studies, Ball notes, voters penalize male and female candidates the same amount for slipups and evaluate their traits equally. And media bias is slipping away, too. Citing a study of the 2010 midterm elections, Ball says newspaper articles on congressional races gave equal coverage to male and female candidates. There may actually be an advantage for women: Voters perceive inexperienced female candidates as stronger and more honest than an identically inexperienced male candidate—perhaps, a consultant told Ball, because women have “outsider” status that voters like.

So why are there still fewer women running? Ball concludes: “Women’s own perceptions haven’t caught up with reality… perhaps because they’re convinced they will have a tougher time, face more scrutiny, and be subjected to unfair attacks and double standards.”

The contemporary truth is, women can win—now more than ever.

If they run.

And if they run, they are some of our best champions to stop the never-ending Republican onslaught of bills to restrict abortion, cut off health-care services for families, and undermine basic cores of the progressive platform. Getting more women in office isn’t just about gender equity—it’s good politics. We just need more Janes to run, because when Jane runs, Jane can beat the hell out of Dick.

State Issues New Version of Pot Rules

Most Are Improvements but Some Problems Remain

BY BEN LIVINGSTON

Last week, the Washington State Liquor Control Board filed updated draft rules with the state code reviser for the legal cultivation and sale of cannabis. The rules are more thorough than a previous draft released by the board in May, and here are some of the changes.

Outdoor Farms: Directly contradicting the first draft, the new rules allow for outdoor production, so expect Eastern Washington sun-grown cannabis to be cheaper than the high-end indoor varieties that require expensive artificial lighting and electricity.

Organic: The only fertilizers, nutrients, and pesticides allowed must be approved for use in organic production under federal standards. But those products may not be labeled organic unless federal rules allow it.

Landlords: The board nixed a controversial proposal that would have required landlords to sign an affidavit admitting to federal law violations.

Hash Ban Relaxed: Hash and hash oil would be sold in retail outlets, but only if first adulterated with a minute amount of non-pot additive, like glycerin, ethanol, or propylene glycol. This is due to the liquor board’s quirky interpretation of the law—specifically the verb “contain”—so that extracts of marijuana do not “contain” marijuana unless they are

mixed with something other than marijuana.

Hours: Legal pot may be purchased between 8 a.m. and midnight, four hours less than alcohol. Chris Marr, one of the liquor board’s three members, said the decision bows to pressure from members of the drugprevention community and will adversely affect cities with a thriving nightlife scene, such as Seattle. “Is the sale of marijuana at 1 a.m. as much of a public safety threat as the sale of alcohol at 1 a.m.?” Marr asked.

Plant Destruction: All licensees who violate the rules will be fined. But pot growers who violate the rules a second or third time will have 25 to 50 percent of their crops destroyed. This is intended to affect small and large growers equally, where a seemingly steep monetary fine may be overlooked by large growers.

Zoning Definitions: Pot businesses must be 1,000 feet from eight types of property, such as recreation centers and game arcades, but the definitions of those terms were a bit murky. Following specific suggestions from Seattle city attorney Pete Holmes, the liquor board clarified these definitions.

Expect sun-grown cannabis to be cheaper than indoor varieties.

On the whole, the rules are informed and thorough. The liquor board is accepting public comment through July 31—the easiest way to comment is to e-mail rules@liq. wa.gov. The board is scheduled to adopt final rules on August 14, start accepting license applications on September 16, and launch the entire legal pot system on December 1.

SOURCES SAY

• State senator Ed Murray and Seattle City Council member Bruce Harrell—both running for mayor—each released TV ads last week, talking up their stories as political leaders and portraying the current mayor as an ineffective failure. But the ads lacked any mention of how Murray and Harrell would govern differently. For his part, McGinn released his own ad, promoting his successes, including programs to augment public-school funding and promote better attendance. On substance, McGinn wins this round

• Charlie Staadecker, the bow-tiewearing businessman currently running for mayor, says he refuses to participate in Candidate Survivor, a lighthearted candidate forum on July 16 at Showbox at the Market geared toward young voters (cosponsored by Washington Bus and The Stranger). Staadecker has instead invited all eight other candidates to his own forum that night, on the topic of homelessness, because “he believes Survivor is an insult to the office of the mayor,” according to a source.

TIGER HEALTH CLINIC

• Two-thirds of Seattle employers were not complying with the city’s paid sick leave law when it went into effect last September, according to a University of Washington study released July 8. The law, which applies to more than 11,000 local businesses, encourages employees to stay home when sick (up to nine days a year). The study, which randomly surveyed 1,400 Seattle employers, also notes, “Among employers who know about the Ordinance and do not currently offer paid leave, only four in ten plan to change their policies.”

• At a Seattle City Council discussion on the gender wage gap in Seattle, which was found by a recent study to be the worst in the nation’s big cities, there was lots of talk of the city’s own report on gender pay equity. But while Council Member Harrell and Mayor McGinn both seem keen to see the study, it hasn’t yet been released.

• A coalition led by the League of Women Voters, El Centro de la Raza, and the Washington Education Association filed a lawsuit on July 3 to invalidate last year’s charter schools initiative. The plaintiffs persuasively argue that because charter schools are not controlled by school districts, they do not qualify as “common schools” under the law.

• Speaking of insults to the office of the mayor, Staadecker released his own TV ad in which he parodies a commercial for Dos Equis beer

Slavin’ for Losers

What It’s Like Being the Receptionist at Sub Pop Records

I usually get to the office within the 20-minute window that the particularly inconsistent number 11 bus drops me off near Fifth and Pine. On the days when it seems that I’m going to be on the later side, I like to reply to staff e-mails on the bus to give the impression that I’m already at work, typing away.

I spent some time writing back and forth with this person, explaining that we typically don’t purchase lyrics. His response was simple: “HOW MUCH WOULD IT COST TO GET JUSTIN BIEBER TO SING ON THIS TRACK?”

Ivividly remember where I was when I got the call from Sub Pop offering me the receptionist position. I’d just stepped out of the shower and heard the phone ringing. I’d been anticipating the call since the interview earlier that week, which had gone well. It included my in-depth explanation of my personal dedication to cleanliness, as well as a reading from a long list of reference quotes from other Sub Pop employees, Gerard Cosloy, my wife, and my mother. “We’d love to have you work at Sub Pop,” Chris Jacobs and Megan Jasper, the label’s general manager and vice president, said in unison over speakerphone. My heart exploded with joy. I had just landed my dream job! I was so elated that I didn’t know what to say. Then came a moment of bad phone connection where we all talked over each other about what would happen

A majority of the phone calls are from people in bands interested in extreme fame.

next, awkwardly pausing at the same times. When the conversation went silent, I blurted out, “I’m naked.” In that instant, it hit me: I had never worked in an office and hadn’t the slightest grasp of office etiquette. I instantly worried they regretted their decision, but then Megan replied, “I’m shitting blood because I’m so happy to be working with you.” Everything was going to be a-okay. Having a meaningful day job that you love has got to be really high on the list of life’s great pleasures. Aside from having to wake up at 8 a.m., there isn’t a single serious drawback to being the receptionist at Sub Pop. Except perhaps the smell of the men’s bathroom, which approximates a combination

My first task of the day is checking on the state of the office. I usually start in the kitchen, where the previous receptionist (thank heavens) trained the night cleaning staff to empty the dishwasher. It’s easily one of my least favorite jobs, as there are far more cups than will actually fit in the cupboard. I reorder popcorn if it’s low—otherwise there will be hell to pay from Stuart M., the production manager. Carly, the marketing director, seems to be obsessed with Lysol wipes. Stuart F., the director of technical staff, enjoys a wide variety of tea. It’s my job to know and love my coworkers, and to keep their secrets. Does everybody make a big deal over me having to buy huge boxes of tampons? You bet they do!

Another thing the night cleaning staff does: empty the trash cans. I realized early on that no matter how little garbage I throw into my area’s can, it will be disposed of, along with the garbage can’s liner. To avoid creating even more plastic garbage for the world, I’ve taken to squirreling small amounts of waste into my desk until there’s enough to deserve a proper disposal, and then I dump it all at once. For this, I’ve nicknamed myself “Ol’ Garbage Drawers.”

BY DEREK ERDMAN

of beef stew and hot vinegar. Or when the digital asset manager, Meghan, convinced me that there was a rumor going around the office that I had really small hands. Or the fact that the nearby Ralph’s grocery store is so overpriced that I once accidentally assembled a $25 container of lettuce and carrots from their salad bar. Or the time when a man who was clearly on drugs infiltrated the building and arrived at the desk with a 10-speed bike missing a wheel, who then handed me his demo CD with a hand covered in oozing sores. Luckily, these things don’t happen every day, but here’s a sampling of what does:

Every morning, mountains of e-mails and voice mails await me. A majority of the messages are from people in bands interested in extreme fame. My favorites are from teenage R&B vocalists who have decided that they’re ready for a music career and that Sub Pop is the right label for them. Another interesting tactic is just to send some lyrics and ask how much they’re worth, which happens pretty often. A sample from one wordsmith included “YOU NO THAT I LOVE YOU SO COME TWERK IT RIGHT INFRONT OF ME *PAUSE FOR A MOMENT* YEA TWERK BABY GIRL TWERK BABY GIRL TWERK TWERK TWERK BABY GIRL YEA MMMMM.”

A man who was clearly on drugs infiltrated the building and handed me his demo CD with a hand covered in oozing sores.

Does everybody make a big deal over me having to buy huge boxes of tampons? You bet they do!

Of course, it’s not all laughs; this business attracts actual lunatics. There’s the curious case of the woman from California who claims to be spiritually married to Robin Pecknold from Fleet Foxes. I’ve spent a lot of time on the phone with her; she’s usually trying to get Robin’s phone number. She claims to have had it before, but an attorney put a curse on a psychic who has blocked certain portions of her memory. The thing is, she’s given me the names of the people involved, and they actually exist. I called the lawyer she mentioned, and when I tried to get more information, he hung up. Last week, a guy called looking for contact information for the 1990s band Seaweed. He kept stressing that he was “very concerned,” and he needed to talk to them before he got the police involved. When I pressed for details, he only divulged that he was involved with one of their records and repeated that he was “very concerned.” He then suggested that it would be easiest for him to come to the office and get the information “the hard way.” I replied that all of the members of Seaweed currently live in Guam. Case closed!

It’s pretty common to have brushes with celebrities from all tiers, if you know what you’re looking for. William Bennett from Whitehouse came in shortly after I started. I’ve met Ross Reynolds from The Conversation, photographer Charles Peterson, and comedian Eugene Mirman. On the phone, I’ve spoken to Courtney Love, Boots Riley from the Coup, Deanna Ashley from Frightwig, and Heather Graham. Gary Gersh, the guy who signed Nirvana to DGC, called a few weeks ago. When I told him that Jonathan Poneman wasn’t in the office (he wasn’t!), he got quiet for a second. He obviously didn’t believe me. “I’m calling about Soundgarden,” he reasoned. I didn’t quite know what to say after that, but I knew one thing for sure: I’M LIVING IN SEATTLE.

The Sub Pop Silver Jubilee is Sat July 13 in Georgetown, 10 am–11 pm, free, all ages. For more info about the Jubilee see pages 37, 41, and 45.

The Outside Artist

How Buster Simpson Turned His Righteous Anger About Development, the Environment, and Seattle’s Economic Disparity into Art

by Jen Graves

The laundry hanging over the alley is pure white. That’s the first suspicious thing about it. Nobody has this much white laundry. Maybe that’s why people are stopping to take pictures. Or maybe it’s because you never see laundry lines downtown. They’ve mostly been banned as unsightly.

This particular alley is a stretch of Post Alley on the Belltown side of Pike Place Market, between Stewart and Virginia streets. One side of the alley is a building of fixed-income housing with a health clinic at street level. The other side is a condo tower. The clotheslines crisscross between the two. Do the people who share this alley share anything else, let alone joint clotheslines?

A posted sign at street level clears things up a little: This is a temporary installation by the artist Buster Simpson, a re-creation of a work of art he made, in the exact same

BUSTER SIMPSON IN A CHERRY TREE IN THE 1970S The tree was going to be removed to make way for a new condo, so Simpson built a nest and occupied it. When that failed to stop the tree’s destruction, he carved a ladder out of it to climb the next tree that needed saving.

alley, in 1978. The clothes themselves are recycled from a thrift shop and a cleaners where they’d gone unclaimed. The first time Simpson strung clotheslines between these parallel four floors was the start of the redevelopment of Belltown, when the condo tower was brand-new. Back then, most residents appreciated the clothesline, the sign says, but not everyone. “One gentleman from the fixed-income residence took offense to what he considered a reminder of his unpleasant past of being forced to hang his laundry out to dry,” Simpson writes. “Eventually, he cut down all the lines. I learned from this the humility of working in shared space, and the patience such work requires.”

For the current remake, Simpson got

something else. Another line, you know? It’s my chance to be a kind of public performer,” he said, mischievously.

Every version of the story he tells is true. The art is a protest. It’s a decorative banner of simple human activity. It’s an experiment in tying together the rich and the poor. It’s a revelation of the context, of economic disparity at close range. There are many Buster Simpsons all at once.

Sometimes you don’t even notice his works. And sometimes when they’re most successful, they disappear entirely. Another work he made in 1978 involved a stretch of street in Belltown that stank of shit because there were no public accommodations. All along the street, he wanted to dig holes in the ground for pooping in. His idea was that after a sufficient accumulation of human waste at each hole, a tree could be planted on the compost. He had no permits, so he bought a Porta Potty case to camouflage the holes. The piece had two different locations—he successfully installed two different pooping holes—before he was shut down by the authorities, who agreed to institute public restrooms. Simpson considered it a win. The ultimate expression of the piece was it vanishing altogether, no longer having a reason to exist.

BUSTER SIMPSON // SURVEYOR

Through Oct 13

permission from private residents on both sides of the alley. Before the sign went up and while he was still finishing hanging the lines, people walking by would ask him what he was doing. Simpson, 71, is a highly approachable guy, built and tall like a hero but with the attitude of an imp. He has a square jaw and a torn-apart cotton-puff of white hair, his glasses are always falling down his nose a little so he can glance roguishly over them, and he slouches. He loves talking to people when he’s installing his art out in public. All he has ever wanted to do is work in public.

“To one person, I’d say, ‘It’s a protest against condos that have ordinances against laundry lines!’ But to the next person, I’ll say

“See that hand railing?” he said while we were standing under the clotheslines in Post Alley a few weeks ago. He pointed to an unadorned metal bar on a building, the building with the low-income clinic. It’s not marked as art or as anything else, even though he put it there. The long hill to the water is perilously steep, Seattle-steep, and he set out to make a handrail all the way down the hill, in a basic effort to steady people in their environment. But “the property owners at the condos said no,” Simpson said, so the railing spans only one block. “But that’s just what public artists do. Little stuff. God’s work.”

It’s a common stereotype—and often a total falsehood—that artists are rebels; plenty of them are as rule-bound as anyone else. But Simpson really is counterculture to the core. His work is reactive. It has goals in mind. Very few artists these days openly call their work agitprop, but Simpson does—at least some of it.

Agitprop gets attention. In the 1980s, when Simpson threw large, soft limestone disks in the Hudson and Nisqually Rivers to neutralize acid rain, he created a media spectacle, with commentators dubbing it “River Rolaids.” You can see video of him dumping the disks in the river at the first full retrospective of his work, now up at the Frye Art Museum, which frames his career through his sculptures, drawings, photographs, videos, and installations, some new, some just newly framed. Seen splashing around in videos with the limestone disks—see page 19—Simpson looks like he’s having a blast. The video is projected in split-screen style with a video from another performance, for which he stripped naked and played David to the Goliath of the World Trade Center. With a sling, he flung little chunks of limestone toward the towering symbols of American greed. He was located at an enfeebling distance, but the gesture carried its own power even if no stone hit its target. Each chunk of stone was blasted with the word “PURGE.”

“I think of my work as political, yeah, but it’s like in the ’60s, we said, ‘If there’s no dancing in your revolution, we don’t want any part of it,” he reflected the other day, sitting across a worktable in the Leschi

Frye Art Museum

It’s a common stereotype that artists are rebels. But Simpson really is counterculture to the core.

neighborhood grocery store that he converted into a studio and home. His wife is artist Laura Sindell, and they have a grown daughter, Hillela. “There were a lot of dogmatic communists running around in those days, and they didn’t have parties or know how to dance. I love to dance. Shit, I mean there has to be joy to this.”

Art wasn’t on his mind early in life. Like the Johnny Horton song says, Simpson was born in Saginaw, Michigan. He was a slow reader and an unremarkable student, probably an undiagnosed dyslexic, he thinks. Didn’t think he’d go to college, but when he went to sign up for the army, a recruiter was unfriendly, so he changed course. He took a job at a sign-painting company to pay for school and spent three years commuting to the junior college in Flint. Only the art department saw him as special and encouraged him, or that’s how he remembers the way he officially became an artist.

He transferred to the University of Michigan to study art.

He continued to be chased by Vietnam, nearly getting drafted several times—enrolling in grad school when being an undergrad was no longer an exemption, and finally just barely aging out. At art school in Michigan, Simpson became friends with a guy who went on to be one of the organizers of “An Aquarian Exposition in White Lake, N.Y.,” also known as Woodstock. Yes, that Woodstock. Woodstock became famous for the music, of course, but it was called the Woodstock Music & Art Fair, and Simpson—back in that postschool period when he was still alternating living out of his van and crisscrossing the United States on his motorcycle —was invited to be codirector of Woodstock Art.

Simpson’s original idea for the festival was to wrap Dutch elm trees in a covering like foil. By 1969, Dutch elm disease was well-known to be infesting the area, and in fact

FRYE WANTED “TO BE BUSTER WHILE DOING BUSTER”

causing the great elm decline of Europe and North America, devastating many species. Simpson’s reflective coverings would not have actually protected the trees, just suggested protection. They were intended to alert people to the fact that there was a major problem deep in these woods. But the organizers wanted something “that smelled like patchouli oil, that was back-to-nature”— so foil was out. They wanted nostalgia. He would have preferred what he would later come to call “poetic utility.”

He tried to keep as much poetry, and as much utility, as he could in his second idea for Woodstock. Because the festival was at a dairy farm, he decided to design and build a minifarm there. It had 200 little chicks, kept in an enclosure with heat lamps, and a playpen for people, including a jungle gym and a labyrinth. The whole thing was intended as an escape from the wildness of the music stage, a place where people could go to recharge and maybe bring the kids, see the animals and plants, and notice how far they had come from the city.

But then Woodstock went aggro in the other sense. The art was forcibly overcome by

the hordes, and Simpson was briefly stunned. He had to adjust quickly. He dismantled the art and distributed its components as firewood and sleeping mats. He got the animals out of harm’s way and went to serve as security at the harrowing front of the stage. After the crowds left, he stayed to clean up, which included literally mending farmers’ fences.

As an artist, he never had a white-cube phase.

Another of the Super 8 videos at the Frye is unlike most video you’ll ever see in an art exhibition. It shows a bunch of people sitting around a table, tucking in for a long meeting in the sort of drab, cramped conference room that could kill even a born middle manager. There isn’t a hint of irony. The video is pure boredom.

The point is that behind Buster Simpson’s art, there are meetings. And more meetings. But it’s not just that. He filmed the meetings. He is proud of surviving the meetings.

As counterculture as Simpson is, to get his work done, he bends to pressures that

COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

CLOTHESLINES IN POST ALLEY On one side of the alley is fixed-income housing.

The other side is condos. When the piece was first installed in 1978, a resident who took offense to it cut down all the lines.

THE

This cluster of finials, which solves the problem of multiple crows fighting over one finial at the top of a flagpole, sits on a platform created out of a folded-down section of the Frye’s own wall.

RICHARD NICOL/COLLECTION OF THE ARTIST

THE SECOND ANNUAL

BOOTLEGGERS BALL

SPEND AN EVENING IN THE SUN LISTENING TO GREAT MUSIC FROM THE GORDS AND SAMPLING SPIRITS FROM LOCAL WASHINGTON DISTILLERS AT THE SNOQUALMIE CASINO MOUNTAIN VIEW PLAZA.

SATURDAY, JULY 13 6pm • 9pm 18 LOCAL DISTILLERS TO SAMPLE 10 - ¼OZ TASTINGS WITH ENTRY SPECIAL GUESTS THE GORDS

Snoqualmie Casino has the music, comedy, and entertainment you crave. All at an elevation where dull cannot exist.

most artists find completely distasteful, toiling alongside powerful people who want him to be their decorator, or who have essentially no real interest in art. And yet it would be hard to say which he despises more: merely decorative public art or esoteric private art.

Simpson’s coming-of-age and the invention of American public art coincided exactly. Simpson, Sherry Markovitz, and Andrew Keating were the first-ever team of artists to be included at the start and throughout all phases of a public construction project—a process that was nationally heralded and widely adopted after Seattle’s example in 1979. The revolutionary idea was that art should be more than a plopped-down afterthought, and like most revolutionary ideas, it created new conflicts while solving old ones.

Not every one of Simpson’s more than three dozen public pieces quite survived the meetings. “There are a lot of projects, and they all have their varying degrees of it,” he said, it meaning what he wanted, without compromise.

His greatest disappointment—aside from the pieces that were never built—can be found at the University of Washington Tacoma. A pretty neat piece of his there rings the top of an 1891 brick building in the center of campus. It’s called Parapet Relay because the words that appear on it change depending on your viewing angle; they seem to hand off to each other. They alternate between “GATHER,” “LABOR,” “IDEA,” “WISDOM,” “STORAGE,” “TACOMA,” and “UW.” It’s subtle but cool, and it references the ghostly historical signage in that part of downtown. But Simpson had envisioned far more than a skin-deep intervention when he was commissioned by

Carta and a yew tree.

“The whole public art movement, it’s been our movement and it’s been our patronage,” he said. Sometimes he uses the royal “we,” and when I asked him about it, he earnestly spoke about how much collaboration it takes to make his art, and he made a convincing case, so it sounded less pompous.

In this case, he was also referring to public artists in general.

“It’s made us more responsive to communicating,” he continued. “We have to communicate on a lower discourse, or maybe not lower, it’s a populist discourse. When you talk to a developer, they can just shut you out, even though there’s public money. So we’ve had to develop our wit in another way. We’re very political.”

Another Super 8 video. It’s grainy and it shows a street with Elliott Bay in the foggy background. In the center of the frame is a two-story building whose second story is off-kilter, as if it’s about to fall. This is 1978, at 2001 First Avenue, where there are still old sailor bars with 6 a.m. happy hours in the neighborhood, but all that is about to change. Somebody is inside this building, up in the big bay window on this tilted second floor. Suddenly, the building crashes down. There’s only a pile of rubble. With somebody inside.

The somebody was a silhouette that Simpson made. He cut it out of sheet metal just so he could film it, so he could capture the image of somebody standing while old Seattle fell.

No vinyl letters were printed for wall labels in the Frye show. Instead, all of the wall text was handwritten on chunks of drywall salvaged from past exhibitions.

UWT. He’d wanted to help shape the way the entire campus relates to history, and to the steep grade of the hillside. “I’d wanted acknowledgements of the new overlays on these historical buildings, to be obvious about it, to let accretion happen,” he said. “They wanted to make it look like a campus. You do what you can do, and you move on.”

Then there are the pieces that just have no budget for maintenance. At Seattle’s convention center downtown, there’s a wind-powered topiary that’s nothing but rusted metal now. (It was installed in 1989.) The vines are supposed to grow on a structure shaped like the profile of Chief Sealth, then be cut by a wind vane shaped like the profile of George Washington. It’s a great idea. Even the gardener there, an immigrant himself—reimagining Washington as an immigrant is one of the thoughts in the piece—said when I visited on a recent afternoon that he hopes it gets fixed soon.

Simpson’s latest public commission is a massive curtain of steel mesh wrapped around a helical parking-lot ramp at SeaTac Airport, flashlit by colored LEDs. The twisted wire mesh is the hexagonal kind used in road building, referencing both highways and the chemical structure of carbon. With its lights, the piece is visible from the street, from a car, and from the air, drawing together the three systems already at play in the airport environment.

But he doesn’t just make local work: Around the world, Simpson is still trying to convince various decision makers—a college dean in Maine, the leaders of Qatar—to implement crazy ideas he cooked up years ago. Since 1996, for instance, he’s been laboring on something having to do with the Magna

Magic: the Gathering Mondays and Fridays from 6 p m to midnight.

PHOENIX

COMICS & GAMES 113 Broadway E, Seattle

UW seeks adults with schizophrenia and adults without schizophrenia for a research study investigating how genetics may affect the development of schizophrenia.

Participants should be age 18-65 with no current drug or alcohol problems. Participants will be paid $15/hour for their time and provided lunch.

Around this time, his silhouettes materialized again and again out on the streets of what was then referred to as the Denny Regrade neighborhood. They stood on the roof at the abandoned Pine Tavern, acting as weather vanes. Inside the tavern, where Simpson could rent a huge studio for peanuts because the building was about to be razed, he rigged an apparatus so that whenever the wind blew, the figures on the roof activated other metal figures down in the bar, and the wind swept rows of bottles off the bar and onto the floor. Broken glass was collected and sold for cash to donate to the clinic.

Photos from the time show that there were a lot of empty bottles, especially fortified wine bottles. The people, like the neighborhood, were wobbly, in transition. Many were indigenous people stranded on stolen land. Around this time, Simpson also set up gates around individual trees that he fashioned out of crutches and the headboards of beds salvaged from torn-down old hotels. He was trying to steady both people and plantings in the midst of Seattle’s rapid change.

The name he gave his silhouetted figure was Woodman. At the Pine Tavern, Woodman turned wind into medicine. He became Simpson’s most romantic alter ego. The other figure to appear repeatedly in his work is the crow, the urban adapter who takes whatever he can get and finds a way to use it.

In many ways, Simpson has lived the myths of his alter egos. His mark is still visible in northern downtown, where he was based from 1974 to 1987, moving from doomed location to doomed location and using the conditions of real estate as the basis for his work, just as Gordon Matta-Clark was doing in New York at the same time. Sometimes he was directly pragmatic. When a cherry tree was going to be removed to make way for a new condo, he tried to save it by building a nest in it and occupying the nest. When that failed to stop the tree’s destruction, he managed to get his hands on the tree and carve its wood into a ladder that he’d use to climb into the next tree that needed saving in the demolitions.

Greg Colligan

Summer Clearance

It’s worth pointing out that Simpson’s early works in Belltown came long before the terms “relational aesthetics” and “social practice” were coined, terms that are now ubiquitous in artspeak. They refer to the belief that art should instigate connections in the real world, not just provoke gaping and gawking. Simpson’s experiments also long predated the proliferation of farmers markets in cities, the spreading of the gospel of the locavores.

Coexisting with a willful environment that refuses to fade into the background is in Simpson’s blood. His mother was a schoolteacher, his father a storekeeper, and they lived along Michigan’s Cass River. Every spring, the river flooded. The water would rise up into the basement and flood the coal stove. Filling the stove, in cold weather, was Simpson’s job mornings and evenings. It was the kind of town where, when the river ran red, that meant the slaughterhouse was killing. Close to the land. Then came Silent Spring. He was situated to be part of a new Hudson River School of art, a polluted Hudson River School.

In the very early 1970s, it was Dale Chihuly—also known for his exuberant ways—who brought Simpson to Seattle. Chihuly heard Simpson give a talk at the Rhode Island School of Design and drafted Simpson into a plan for a dream school based on the model of the interdisciplinary Black Mountain College in rural North Carolina. In those early days of what became Pilchuck Glass School in the woodsy wilderness of Stanwood, Simpson was head of media, basically video and sound. When the school soon narrowed its focus to glass, Simpson dropped out. “It just didn’t interest me.” What did was the young, transforming city of Seattle.

In what’s maybe his biggest project yet, the City of Seattle just recently chose Simpson as lead artist for the re-creation of the seawall that separates—and connects—the urban core and the whole underwater world of Elliott Bay. He’s still in the idea phase, hasn’t made drawings yet. But whatever he creates, it won’t try to blend in, act natural. After Simpson is finished with the seawall, maybe people will notice, maybe for the first time, that there’s a seawall there at all.

No vinyl letters were printed for wall labels in the Frye show. Instead, all of the wall text was handwritten on chunks of drywall salvaged from past exhibitions. In keeping with reusing, reducing, and recycling, some of the sculptures even sit on

platforms created out of folded-down sections of the Frye’s own walls, exposing beams behind the drywall and creating new views between galleries.

Museums typically keep Simpson outdoors—as at the New Museum in New York in 1983, the Hirshhorn Museum in Washington, DC, in 1989, and the Henry Art Gallery at the University of Washington in 2000 (he doesn’t have a dealer or a gallery)—but not the Frye.

He didn’t adjust to go inside at the Frye— the Frye adjusted to him.

“We wanted to be Buster while doing Buster,” said Frye curator Scott Lawrimore, who likes to call Simpson “the spiritual father of our city.” A museum guard said, “We’ve been Busterized.” “Bustified,” Simpson interjected, his hands thrust deep inside the wire frame of what he calls his “Venus de Gabion,” where he was engaged in a shape puzzle with some chunks of white limestone.

A “gabion” is one of those terms only an engineer or Buster Simpson knows: It refers to the rock-stuffed cages that keep hillsides in place along roads. Simpson has a whole borrowed vocabulary from the utilitarian built environment that he’s just waiting to turn into art.

But Simpson’s two sides—“poetry” and “utility,” as he puts it—are rivals as often as partners. His work is, productively, torn between the two. Take what I see as the “readymade room” at the Frye, a gallery where several of Simpson’s sculptures stand alone on pedestals in a clean modernist display befitting Brancusi or a hardware store—meaning they seriously resemble an exhibition of Marcel Duchamp’s readymades from a century ago. The readymades were already-made utilitarian objects Duchamp placed in a gallery, rendering them useless, scrambling their meaning entirely, and infuriating everybody, all by doing nothing to “make” the art except adding an art context. Simpson does make things, and what look like readymades from him are functioning tools. At the Frye, a honing wheel mounted on feet that loudly echoes Duchamp’s bicycle wheel on a stool is an actual knife sharpener. His shovel is a shovel is a shovel: Simpson wanted to put one into the hands of each incoming freshman at a snowy college campus in Maine as a response to the college’s call for a public commission. Simpson’s idea of a monument is a shovel in use.

If Duchamp’s readymades signaled that art environments aggressively remove function from objects, Simpson’s insistence on

PHOTO-DOCUMENTATION OF AN AGITPROP PERFORMANCE He’s naked and flinging chunks of limestone at the World Trade Center, each chunk blasted with the word “PURGE.”

VALERIE SILVER/COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

functioning art signals the return of the repressed. It is no longer fashionable for a museum to be a rarefied environment, and it is not a coincidence that Simpson is appearing at the Frye in the moment during the museum’s life when it’s reaching out into the world the most. In recent years, the Frye has hosted performances and installations that have broken through its walls, taking place down the block or out in its reflecting pools. The Frye’s Simpson exhibition is a tribute to the person in Seattle who most single-handedly—even if he was working collaboratively—started all this.

And just as those experiments have been thrilling in part for their awkwardness in a traditional museum setting, there’s a necessarily awkward fit between Simpson and the Frye. Despite the fact that his installations spill out into streets and head all the way down to the shared clothesline in Post Alley, parts of Simpson can’t be contained even in a deconstructed museum. Or they’re in there, but you’d have to dig through hours of videos and documentary photographs and written histories and plans to find them.

The same can be said of many late-20thcentury artists who don’t fit cleanly into categories but attract institutional admiration, attention, and canonization—like Gordon Matta-Clark (sculptor of doomed buildings before they were demolished), Robert Smithson (creator of Spiral Jetty, a swirl of rocks deposited on a remote edge of the Great Salt Lake), and Robert Irwin (whose chaotic garden at the Getty Center in LA is designed to subvert Richard Meier’s Valhallic architecture). Those names come up when Simpson talks about his heroes, as does Robert Rauschenberg, the late great pop artist who was an ardent recycler of materials. This spring, Simpson was selected as one of the pilot artists-in-residence at Rauschenberg’s 20-acre estate on Captiva Island in Florida.

Simpson’s aesthetics are essentially modernist and postmodernist; he speaks of “honesty,” of using art to pull back curtains, tell truths. If there’s one truth he’s interested in, it’s probably this: “No matter where you go, it’s always turf,” he said. “It’s always somebody’s turf.”

Sounds basic, until you consider the difference between, say, Simpson’s idea to wrap the Woodstock Dutch elms in silvery material, and the silvery tree made 40 years later by another artist, Roxy Paine, that stands prominently in downtown Seattle today, prettifying the manicured landscape of Seattle Art Museum’s Olympic Sculpture Park overlooking Elliott Bay. It’s a cool sight, but somewhat blank.

Simpson was not included in the park, and he still bemoans its lack of “boogie-woogie,” meaning flux, movement, life. The landscape he wants to change, anyway, is your mind.

In the hours leading up to the Frye opening three weeks ago, Simpson was not getting ready. He was running around putting up illegal art at a construction site near the museum. He tacked up a stretch of orange construction netting stamped with the words “POETICALLY CORRECT” in the same font as “DANGER DO NOT ENTER” tape. It was torn down almost immediately, as he later put it, by “some unknown level of authority with a lack of poetic appreciation.”

Again, the man is 71 years old.

The same week, 175 miles south of the spot where this fleeting statement was thwarted on the eve of his museum show, something unknown was growing on a Simpson installation in Portland—an installation that’s really an endurance project. It’s a nurse log he put up in 1991. He had it trucked into downtown from the city’s watershed and stationed outside the convention center, where it meets other visitors to the metropolis.

Years later, another nurse log appeared at the Olympic Sculpture Park in Seattle, with some significant differences. Still, plenty of people squawked that Simpson got there first. In Seattle, New York artist Mark Dion laid his own nurse log—lifted from another watershed and trucked into this city—inside a glass container. As time goes by, the house grows tight. “It’s gonna be one hell of a bonsai project,” Simpson said. His only wish to change the Dion log would be to situate it, rather than in the park, at the base of a high-rise tower, “near the citadels of capitalism and commodity, as a perversely nice complement” making its own subversive commentary.

Simpson’s 1991 nurse log in Portland sits unencumbered outdoors. Its new growths are free to shoot up into the air as far as they want to go. The original log, meanwhile, gradually disintegrates to form new ground. Natives and invasives are so mixed up together that the habitat is like a new planet; forestry students keep an eye on it for their own research.

Simpson visits it, too. The way he talks, it’s clear that he loves his nurse log sculpture, maybe more than any other single thing he’s made.

“It continues to feed me,” he said. “It’s on its own logic. There’s a work of art that won’t be finished for a thousand years.”

COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

STREET FOOD

STREET FOOD FESTIVAL

SEATTLE + NIGHT MARKET

TRUCKS

JEMIL’S BIG EASY, MONTE CRISTO MAXIMUS MINIMUS HOW PICKLE GOT OUT OF A JAM EZELL’S EXPRESS, BARKING FROG & MORE

CARTS

SECRET SAUSAGE, BIKELAVA, BIG FOOD FALAFEL SALAM, LOS AGAVES ROASTED CORN, TAIYAKI TANDOOZY, TIGA DARA & MORE

CRAFTS

TUESDAY SCARVES, TARBOO SPENCER LITTLE, SCHMANCY CHOKE T-SHIRTS, JACKLYN ROSE EMBROIDERY & MORE

POP-UPS

PO DOG, DELUXE, LITTLE UNCLE LIL WOODY’S, ROUX JOSHUA HENDERSON & MORE

ONE NIGHT ONLY PROJECT Presents

[ POP UP PICNIC ]

12 TOP CHEFS. 12 SIGNATURE DISHES. ON THE LAWN FOR CHARITY.

FEATURED POP-UP CHEFS ANNOUNCED JULY 10TH VIF EXPRESS & PICNIC TICKETS PASSES ON SALE NOW

AUGUST 10TH

CAPITOL HILL AT CAL ANDERSON PARK 5-11PM| FREE ADMISSION

theSTRANGER SUGGESTS

‘This Is the End’

FILM First of all, yes, This Is the End is fucking hilarious, and you should go see it right now (especially since pot is legal—I won’t tell the theater about that brownie in your bag). But in all of the hilarity, there are five or so minutes mid-film where I nearly barfed from laughing so hard. I won’t do it justice by describing it—all I’ll say is that it’s a very loud, very long screaming match between James Franco and Danny McBride over where McBride’s ejaculate ended up. You just have to see it. Then go see it again— because you were laughing so hard the first time, you missed about 25 percent of the jokes. (See Movie Times: thestranger.com/film) MEGAN SELING

Future Bible Heroes

The third most beloved of Stephin Merritt’s four bands is still plenty beloved. And this reunion tour is something to celebrate, commemorating not only the release of the brand-new Future Bible Heroes album Partygoing, but also the rerelease of all the band’s previous work on one remastered CD. Along with FBH mainstays Merritt and Christopher Ewen, tonight’s show features Claudia Gonson and Shirley Simms, whose vocals have lit up countless classic songs by the Magnetic Fields and the Sixths. (Tractor Tavern, 5213 Ballard Ave NW, tractortavern.com, 9:30 pm, $15, 21+) DAVID SCHMADER

Steve Davis ART

The newest series by Northwest documentary portrait and landscape photographer Steve Davis features a class of people almost framed like saints. They’re self-identified 21st-century hippies, seen in vivid detail. Some of the prints are just freaking huge, but it feels right, considering their layered appearances. For instance, Eleanor, 28, Student, beams. She wears big spectacles. Her brown eyes gaze up beatifically. Her head is topped by a fountain of neon dreadlocks, as a mythical creature crawls down her arm in an icecream-colored tattoo. Davis grabs people in moments, turns filthy post-hippies into Byzantine saints. (James Harris Gallery, 604 Second Ave, jamesharrisgallery.com, 11 am–5 pm, free, through Aug 3) JEN GRAVES

Bastille Bash

Monica Drake BOOKS

Tonight, Portland author Monica Drake reads from her second novel, The Stud Book (Drake’s first novel, Clown Girl, was optioned by SNL’s Kristen Wiig). The Stud Book is often funny and always stridently unsentimental; every turn of the page is accompanied by a hot gust of honesty to the face. And if the climax feels like an unsatisfying way to say good-bye to the selfish, witty, willful women we’ve fallen in love with along the way? Well. Reproduction, by definition, has never been great with endings. (Vermillion, 1508 11th Ave, vermillionseattle.com, 7 pm, free) PAUL CONSTANT

FRANCE

Celebrate the day before Bastille Day in Francophile style with food, wine, music, food, street performers, food, burlesque, and still more food. Madison Valley’s Bastille Bash features French-inspired food (from Cafe Flora, Crush, El Portal Coffee, Ines Patisserie, Harvest Vine, and others), cooking demos (including Madison Park Conservatory’s Cormac Mahoney and Cafe Presse/Le Pichet’s Jim Drohman), gardening demos (learn how to grow French herbs!), wine (à votre santé!), and more. Also: someone wandering around in a wig pretending to be Marie Antoinette. LET THEM EAT CAKE! Proceeds benefit Children’s Response Center. (E Madison St from 27th to 30th Aves, bastillebash.com, 3–8 pm, free) EMILY KLEIN

The Cherdonna and Lou Show

DANCE/THEATER

With one leg in the world of modern dance and one leg in the world of burlesque and some weird third leg in the world of performance art, Cherdonna and Lou straddle a variety of genres like no one else. In a bittersweet twist, the duo’s brand-new show, My Obviously Unsuccessful Lifestyle, is their collaborative swan song before venturing off on solo paths. No fan of dance, burlesque, or drag should miss it. (Velocity Dance Center, 1621 12th Ave, brownpapertickets.com, 8 and 10 pm, $18 adv/$20 DOS, July 13–14) DAVID SCHMADER

‘More Than Honey’

Make It Stop

CHOW Six restaurants have opened on Capitol Hill in the last couple months. Six! Plus two pop-ups! In rough order of newness, they are: Babylon by Bus (a Middle Eastern pop-up on Mondays at La Bête), Le Zinc (French, from the Maximilien people), Capitol Cider (cider and gluten-free food, old-timey-pub style), La Cocina Oaxaquena (from a former La Carta de Oaxaca manager), Abay Ethiopian (where Skelly and the Bean was), La Bodega Seattle (Dominican barbecue on Sundays at Montana), Lost Lake (24-hour diner), and Vostok Dumpling House (next to Marination Station). More are on the way. Better get another stomach. (More info at thestranger.com/chow) BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT

Filmed in Switzerland, the United States, Australia, and China, this lively documentary covers the gamut of the bee world: part beekeeping family reminiscence, part incredible close-up of bee culture and physiology, part examination of modern-day beekeeping in all its variety, part scientific bee study, part philosophical musing on industrial culture. The filmmaker reflects, “The plants are rooted to the ground—they can’t run across the field and hug each other. They can’t have children on their own. What they need is a messenger of love: a bee.” This film made me want to drop everything and devote my life to beekeeping. (Varsity Theater, 4329 University Way NE, landmarktheatres.com, $7) GILLIAN ANDERSON

DAVID ROSE

Le Zinc

Hymn by Jim Leonard. August is The Dangers of Electric Lightning by Ben Clawson.

New Play Award

July 27-28

Come see the early readings of Red Earth, Gold Gate, Shadow Sky by Mark Jenkins, an exciting new play that will be produced in our 2014 Mainstage season. C Construction Zone

ARTS

THEATER

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

Even if You’re Cherdonna and Lou

BY BRENDAN KILEY

Lbadly. That didn’t work. “The characters don’t know it’s funny,” Mason said. “It’s just not working for them. We’re not playing off the not-working.” Instead of dancing badly, the duo precisely executes dance moves designed to look almost—but not quite—conventional.

Artists Are Not Working-Class A

Book for Everybody Who Doesn’t Love Capitalism Forever

BY JEN GRAVES

After 15 years of writing about art and artists, I feel comfortable concluding that there is virtually no overlap between the worlds of art and activism. As a group, artists are fiercely political people. You are very likely to hear an artist decry multinational corporatism, violations of workers’ rights, prison conditions, or any of a parade of classic liberal causes; you are precisely as unlikely to run into those same artists at the street march or meeting organized to fight for those same causes. The “art world” as it exists now is a massive ball of unused and misused political energy. Which is batshit.

Everybody, gather around. Please read Ben Davis’s new book. Okay—if you already know that you love capitalism forever, you can skip it. But everybody else. It’s just come out, it’s called 9.5 Theses on Art and Class, and Davis is a New York–based art critic and political activist who’s originally from Seattle.

LOOSE LIPS

• The 22-year-old ballet dancer Jeppe Hansen had danced on stages around the world and earned a spot (and a scholarship) in the prestigious Royal Winnipeg Ballet School’s professional division—until the school found out he had done a single porn film under the name Jett Black. In April, not sure what else to do, he moved to New York to make porn full-time, CBC News reports. Will watching Hansen do a grand jeté or lift a ballerina somehow corrupt a ballet audience? Is an orgy going to break out in the boxes? And if you want to stop someone from doing porn, is this the best way? What might have been dabbling or an adventure is now a career. Good work, pornphobes.

• What’s with the strange performances at the Hedreen Gallery recently? They’re part of Yellow Fish festival, curated by choreographer Alice Gosti. The strangeness has included Gosti mummifying herself with toilet paper, Tyler P. Wardwell pressing his sweaty body against the windows, and Reilly Sinanan setting traps on the sidewalk. Pedestrians have been baffled and beguiled. A different artist is there every day through July 15, with Spike Friedman and Satori Group on July 10.

ast weekend, during a rehearsal at Velocity Dance Studio, choreographer Jody Kuehner (also known by her stage name Cherdonna Shinatra) showed some dancers how to snap. The song was Cher’s 1998 single “Believe.” The snap was classic and queeny: right arm upraised to mid-torso, rotating outward at the elbow while the hips drift to the left, ending with a crisp hipcock, wrist-flick, and snap. Kuehner wanted the five dancers to snap languorously, but also at just the right moment.

The duo occupies a peculiar but growing zone in the Seattle performance world where pop culture, cabaret culture, and contemporary performance (for lack of a better term that encompasses contemporary dance and performance art) are messing around with each other. You can see it in the Castaways, the Can Can Cabaret’s sexy-but-rigorous house dancers who have also performed at On the Boards. You can also see it in the choreography of Amy O’Neal and Markeith Wiley, as well as some Dina Martina shows.

PREVIEW My Obviously Unsuccessful Lifestyle The Cherdonna and Lou Show at Velocity Dance Center July 13–14

“Snap on the ‘ne-,’” she said, demonstrating to the song’s final lyrics. “I don’t need you anymore, I don’t need you anymore.”

The song is a fitting choice for My Obviously Unsuccessful Lifestyle, Kuehner and collaborator Ricki Mason’s final evening-length show as Cherdonna and Lou, the part-drag, partdance, part-performance-art duo. The two have made five evening-length pieces over the past five years—including loosely structured house parties—and several smaller pieces for festivals and nightclubs.

Along the way, they’ve gained a following that has fallen in love with the Technicolor and breezily neurotic Cherdonna and Lou universe, located somewhere between Leave It to Beaver and a 1970s glossy-magazine housewife who accidentally took her daughter’s LSD. With a tall body, tall hair, and tall eye shadow that threatens to invade her hairline, Cherdonna wobbles and weaves through their dance numbers while short, lithe, and serious drag king Lou Henry Hoover tries his best to keep things in line. The result is a roller coaster between chaos and control.

It’s a fine balance, as Kuehner and Mason learned while teaching at Velocity. Students tried to imitate Cherdonna and Lou by dancing

But making work in that middle zone requires a tension between different styles, and along the way, Kuehner’s and Mason’s interests began to diverge. Mason became increasingly attracted to the cabaret, burlesque, and club scene. “I want an audience that’s there to have a good time,” she said, “and a modern-dance audience is there to judge a piece of art.” Drag and cabaret, she added, give her more stage time, even if she’s performing in a cage at a leather bar and only a few people can see her. “I am,” she said, “in my opinion, making intelligent, heartfelt work in unexpected places.”

Meanwhile, Kuehner has felt the pull of the contemporary dance world and wants to continue her work with choreographers such as Pat Graney and Mark Haim. “It’s hard to be a modern dancer and not get beat down,” she said, “but I still want to fight the good fight.” There’s also the complication of shoes. “Cherdonna is a drag queen, but I can’t dance the way I want to in those shoes,” Kuehner said. (Because she’s a woman playing a drag queen, Kuehner sometimes refers to herself as a “bio queen.”) “It’s like this never-ending black hole of how I can meld the drag world with my love for modern, contemporary dance.” They both said their creative breakup was like most breakups—sad and scary but also exciting.

Kuehner and Mason plan to perform together in Homo for the Holidays and a few other cabaret shows, but Unsuccessful Lifestyle will be their last Cherdonna and Lou show proper. It opens with a revival of their first-ever duet, called Xanadu, made for a Velocity fundraiser several years ago. It will conclude with a draggy lip-synch to “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” by Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond.

A few days ago, the four leading mayoral candidates in Seattle came into the offices of The Stranger to talk about their plans. Every one of them called this city, and by extension themselves, “progressive.” This self-image is something to love and to hate about Seattle—its “progressiveness” can be held as a standard, unlike in cities where conservatism is out in the open, but assuming that “progressivism” is already in the soil also leads to laziness and denial (“Racist? Moi?”). The mind of Ben Davis—and by extension, the book 9.5 Theses on Art and Class—is one of the most genuinely progressive things to emerge from Seattle in years.

REVIEW

9.5 Theses on Art and Class by Ben Davis (Haymarket Books, $16)

He must have written the book from a place of conflict within himself, and that’s the only essay missing from this collection: the story of what it has been like to conduct his two lives, one ensconced in the highest echelons of Fine Art, the other fighting as a street Marxist. Then again, the problems he coolly identifies are structural, not personal. His analysis is reminiscent of the larger shift in social-justice thought, from targeting individual bigotry toward, instead, understanding how systems carry out bias like machines that require no operators, rendering bigotry invisible if you’re looking for it in the old places.

Art breaks my heart in this respect, because creative people effectively self-exile out of any movements that aren’t aesthetic. And it’s not their fault. In this society, art is always, by definition, “isolate[ed]… from the practical problems of the moment,” Davis explains, describing how this applies even when it’s Guernica, even when it’s revolution-minded avant-gardists like Vladimir Tatlin, even when artists Jennifer Allora and Guillermo Calzadilla are thrilled to get an antimilitaristic installation—including an actual tank—into the 2011 Venice Biennale as the American representative, with support from the US State Department. Davis points out that this maneuver was not, in fact, a triumph for art but for the savvy Obama administration,

• Crazy-pants British playwright Snoo Wilson died suddenly July 3 at age 64. A contemporary of Howard Brenton and David Hare, Wilson was political but more satirically subversive—and weirder—than his peers. In his 1971 play Blow-Job, he infamously had raw meat thrown onto the stage to represent an exploded Alsatian dog. A remembrance by Simon Callow described him as political “in the way that Aristophanes was political—rude, lewd, uproarious, anarchic.”

• In other British news, University of Manchester professor Maggie Gale says England produced more plays by women during the suffragette era 100 years ago. From the Telegraph: Gale “estimated that around 8–12 percent of today’s plays are written by women, compared with 18.4 percent in 1923, 20.4 percent in 1936, and 22 percent in 1945.” Why? “There were a lot of people writing new plays and a lot of tryouts,” Gale says. “It was a commercial system which relied on experimental work coming in from the sides. Women’s work fare[d] quite well because production companies knew it would sell.”

• The cast of The Seagull, which rehearsed Chekhov’s play for many months and performed it at ACT Theater earlier this year, has reportedly received a $50,000 grant from the US government to create a new version of the play in Tashkent, Seattle’s sister city in the former USSR. They will work in conjunction with the Ilkhom Theater, an Uzbek company that came to ACT in 2008, just months after its provocative artistic director Mark Weil—who outraged Communist apparatchiks, Muslim fundamentalists, and the Uzbek dictatorship alike—was assassinated on his front steps.

• President Obama gave out the annual National Arts and Humanities Medals this week to a list of creative people including Joan Didion. As writer Rachel Syme tweeted beforehand, “Joan Didion’s and Obama’s hands are going to touch… Start your fanfic.”

ERIC PAGUIO

CHERDONNA AND LOU Their days are numbered.

because the art “ma[de] the superpower seem like a champion of tolerance at a time that it was bleeding credibility into the sands of Afghanistan.” Art is full of pseudosubversive moments like this. WTF?

“Worshiping artistic ambiguity” is one reason Davis proposes for why. In contemporary art, anything that smells of agitprop is reproached for representing brute force, the kind you see in a warmongering state department or a top-down corporation. This has made contemporary art into a cult of ambiguity and multiple meanings; approaching a clear idea is seen as the worst kind of event horizon. But as Davis notes, state departments and corporations also use ambiguity, misdirection, and multiple meanings to control, confuse, and manipulate people. Indirectness is not the sole province of the creative left.

It’s fun to watch Davis chiffonade what’s trendy, from the Situationists (ugh, ugh, ugh) to another of contemporary art’s cultish buzzwords: collaboration. As unfashionable as it sounds, art is still predicated on individualized contributions “expressed through a specific style of craftsmanship or as an original intellectual program,” Davis writes. He’s sympathetic to the dilemmas of artists.

While Davis is clearly having fun slicing up contradictions and revealing the hypocrisies papering over them, he doesn’t get in the way of his ideas. He’s the rare critic who enjoys ideas more than being right. The great twist is that he is right, and in big but precise ways that he articulates accessibly, writing both for art friends and organizing comrades. Refreshing doesn’t begin to describe it. With his scalpel, he goes at the problem of contemporary art’s “general esoteric character” and its predominant status as a luxury good, calling for universal art education and a workforce of artists-as-teachers. He addresses DIY, the

ARTS CALENDAR

ART

Museums

FRYE ART MUSEUM

Buster Simpson // Surveyor : See feature, page 14. Free. Tues-Sun. Through Oct 6. 704 Terry Ave, 622-9250.

SEATTLE ART MUSEUM

Fashion blockbuster! Future Beauty is three decades of design from the country that’s had the single greatest influence on experimental world fashion during that period: Japan. See Worn Out, page 27. $17. WedSun. Through Sept 8. 1300 First Ave, 625-8900.

Gallery Openings

BHERD STU DIOS

Work in Progress: Brave John Osgood paints live in-studio, encouraging suggestions and participation from the audience. Free. Reception Fri July 12, 6-9:30 pm. Wed-Fri. Through Jul 31. 312 N 85th St 234-8348.

CAIRO

Rough Cut : This show from Jason Duffus, Bennett Shatz, and Adam Boehmer promises paintings, a video installation, and “tangible objects.” Free. Reception Thurs July 11, 7-10 pm. Mon-Sun. Through Aug 6. 507 E Mercer St

CARKEEK PARK

Acclimatized: Heaven and Earth 5: Hike 3.3 miles through the park whilst enjoying 14 temporary installations. Last year one of the pieces was burned to the ground. Don’t burn the art, if possible. Reception Sat July 13, 2-5 pm. Jul 13-Oct 20. 950 NW Carkeek Park Rd , 762-1976.

CULLOM GALLERY

Traveling Light: After nearly six years of brick-and-mortardom, Cullom will exist in cyberspace and pop-up form only. Traveling Light is a series of events and exhibitions dedicated to letting us down gently and helping us transition during this difficult time. Free. Wed-Sat. Through Jul 27. 603 S Main St 919-8278.

Arab Spring, the war on terror, and Occupy, and he stays urgently on target. About the products and potential of hipster aesthetics, he writes, “Whether a characteristically ironic sense of self gets articulated in a political direction or turns into a kind of consumerist nihilism depends on what kinds of social movements are there for it to intersect.” His opinionizing is essentially pragmatic.

The fact is that, in a capitalist society, artists must prize individual expression—it’s what distinguishes them from nonartists (designers, etc., who work for other people and are on the whole paid better to do so). Prizing their originality and uniqueness, plus believing in the inherent rightness of ambiguity, artists are set up not to identify with the facelessness and directness of street-level struggle.

It would be a Galilean-level shift, Davis argues, to view artists as middle-class rather than working-class. Class is not about how much money you have, it’s about how you relate to your labor, he explains. If art’s conflicted middle position were understood, we might also perceive the difference between artists, defined by their freedom, and laborers, with the powerful unity that’s gained in the shared experience of being alienated from their labor.

With the understanding that art will have to serve the working-class rather than be the working-class perhaps comes a more realistic sense of what art can do. Let’s do away with, Davis writes, “the bad art-theory habit of looking for a ‘political aesthetic,’ of judging an artwork’s righteousness in philosophical or formal terms, divorced from its significance to what is happening in the world,” Davis writes. “Not even the most committed art practice can, on its own, be a substitute for the simple act of being politically involved, as an organizer and an activist.”

We should hold town halls on this book.

Only the most noteworthy stuff.

FANTAGRAPHICS

Soda Pop: Super Sugar Big Buzz: An examination of Sub Pop’s formative years to help celebrate its Silver Jubilee (Sat July 13). Pieces from Lynda Barry, Charles Burns, Peter Bagge, Art Spiegelman, Daniel Clowes, Charles Peterson, Carl Smool, and more. Free. Reception Sat July 13, noon-9 pm. Jul 13-Aug 7. 1201 S Vale St, 658-0110.

GAY CITY Idol Time: Flynn Bickley presents four years worth of handmade dolls that explore “gender identity, fantasy, human folly, and hunting,” as well as paintings on tar paper inspired by “homeownership and dreams.” Free. Reception Thurs July 11, 6-9 pm. Mon-Sat. Through Aug 5. 517 E Pike St, 860-6969.

GHOST GALLERY

Beyond the Homestead: International Assemblages and Regional Photography : Welltraveled artists Lisa Mei Ling Fong and David Dayton. Free. Reception Thurs July 11, 5-9 pm. Jul 11-Aug 5. 504 E Denny Way, #1, 832-6063.

LXWXH

Inertia : Solo show by Shaun Kardinal, who’s known to embroider photographs and even people, if they’ll sit still long enough. Free. Reception Sat July 13, 6-9 pm. Jul 13- Aug 3. 6007 12th Ave S RARE MEDIUM

The Distance is Near : Landscape images from Brian Lane that compare aerial and macro photography. Free. Reception Thurs July 11, 6-9 pm. Wed-Sun. Through Sept 8. 1321 E Pine, 913-7538.

SEASON

The (Mentholated) Roads

Around Naples : Michael Ottersen paints non-objects with a kind of anti-geometry logic and an off-putting color palette. It makes you feel as if the hemispheres of your brain have decided to go their separate ways. Free. Jul 14-Sept 29. 1222 NE Ravenna Blvd, 679-0706.

TRUE LOVE ART GALLERY

Color Bomb: Group show with

works tending toward the psychedelic. Reception Thurs July 11, 6-10 pm. Tues-Sat. Through Aug 4. 1525 Summit Ave 227-3572.

VERMILLION

Jacob Dixon: Come Out and Play : Dixon’s recent works are some Garden of Earthly Delights -level epic paintings but this show promises Manon-Monster brawls. Also, there’s a music composition only playable on NES from Chaz Aria and the Hands for Tanz fundraiser photographs in the hallway. Free. Reception Thurs July 11, 6-10 pm. Tues-Sun. Through Aug 3. 1508 11th Ave 709-9797. WOODSIDE/ BRASETH GALLERY Dealer’s Choice : The 52nd (!) incarnation of this annual event. Free. Tues-Sat. Through Aug 30. 2101 Ninth Ave #102 622-7243.

ZEITGEIST Rocketmen: Props and Propaganda from the Department of Municipal Rocketry : Props, costumes, rocket packs, and helmets from Webster Crowley’s locally produced, live-action adventure series. Free. Reception and screening Thurs July 11, 8:30 pm. Mon-Sun. Through Jul 31. 171 S Jackson St, 583-0497.

Continuing Exhibitions

THE BELLTOWN COLLECTIVE KeseyPollock : In the chaotic studio of artists Steph Kese and Erin Pollock, the outlines and traces of people appear— in drawings and paintings that plaster the wall, in 15,000 photographs and 50 gigs of video footage—but the wax figures in them are gone. The artists liquefied them all on a custom-built melting plate. Mon-Sun. Through Jul 14. 2231 First Ave BLINDFOLD GALLERY CUTE: George Rodriguez, John Taylor, and Anna Nash display a variety of media, all of which has some special quality that is totes adorbs. Free. Reception Thurs July 11, 6-9 pm. Wed-Sun. Through Aug 4. 1718 E Olive

Way, Ste A, 328-5100. DAVIDSON GALLERIES John James Audubon : Yep, THAT Audubon. I Might Exaggerate: Symbol-laden, highcontrast madness from Warren Dykeman. Free. Tues-Sat. Through Jul 27. 313 Occidental Ave S, 624-1324.

G. GIBSON GALLERY Undertow : New work from Julie Blackmon, who returns to Seattle with her immaculately composed photographs of domestic life undergirded by sexuality, violence, and chaotic potential. Insert gushing here. Free. Tues-Sat. Through Jul 27. 300 S Washington St 587-4033.

GREG KUCERA GALLERY

SuttonBeresCuller: The Genius Award-winning art collaborative/ band of troublemakers known for shutting down the 520 bridge with a floating “desert island” show their sculptures which, in the past, have included Katamarilike balls of stuff and a tiny park installed on a flatbed trailer. Free. Reception Thurs July 11, 6-8 pm. Tues-Sat. Through Aug 17. 212 Third Ave S, 624-0770.

JAMES HARRIS GALLERY

Steve Davis: Back to the Garden: Following his portrait series on incarcerated youth and institutionalized mentally ill people, Davis turns his camera on self-identified “modern ‘hippies.’” Free. Thurs-Sat. Through Aug 3. 604 Second Ave, 903-6220. OFFICE OF ARTS & CULTURE Weather Works : The City of Seattle’s Portable Works Collection (so that’s a thing) recently purchased nearly 50 works from almost 30 artists, all on the theme of weather and atmosphere. Free. Mon-Fri. Through Sept 30. 700 5th Ave PLATFORM GALLERY

How to Stay Alive in the Woods: Naturalist painting, dioramas, and science projects collide and erupt in sculptures and paintings by Patte Loper. Free. Tues-Sat. Through Jul 27. 114 Third Ave S 323-2808.

PUNCH GALLERY

COOP: Punch invites an artist

Prefontaine Pl S 621-1945.

ROOM 104

David C. Kane: Investigations Regarding the Narrative, Psychological and Expressive Implications of Geometric Abstractions of the Human Physiognomy in Painting, or Scoubidou. : Well, there you have it. Free. Wed-Sat. Through Jul 29. 306 S Washington St, #104 953-8104.

SOIL Surf and Turf: Jessia Dolence, Trisha Holt, and Erica Schreiner use their various backgrounds to examine the king of middleclass meals (still just $19.99 at the Tukwila Sizzler). Holdfast: Kiki MacInnis shows mixedmedia ink drawings related to tidal debris. Free. Reception Thurs July 11, 6-8 pm. WedSat. Through Jul 27. 112 Third Ave S, 264-8061.

VIRGINIA INN

When Buster Lived Next Door: Buster Simpson’s friends and neighbors from back in the day show his street-level type works. Free. Through Sept 30. 1937 First Ave, 728-1937.

Events

REILLY SI NANAN AND NATASHA KURING

Sinanan and Kuring dialogue about social phenomenon and the psyche. METHOD , 106 Third Ave S, 713-7819. Free. Tues July 16, 6 pm.

SUTTONBERESCULLER

The Genius Award-winning art collaborative/band of troublemakers known for shutting down the 520 bridge with a floating “desert island” discuss their sculpture exhibition and who knows what else. Greg Kucera Gallery , 212 Third Ave S, 624-0770. Free. Sat July 13, noon.

BLITZ Capitol Hill’s monthly art walk. Capitol Hill, various venues. Thurs July 11, 5-8 pm.

DEPARTURE Lawrence Lofts becomes a gallery one day a year and this time features the likes of John Osgood and Mandy Blouin. Lawrence Lofts 1818 E. Madison. Free. Sat July 13, 5-10 pm.

GEORGETOWN

ART ATTACK

This month’s art walk happens to coincide with Sub Pop’s Silver Jubilee celebrations. Georgetown, various venues. Free. Sat July 13, 6-9 pm.

GET OUT!

The SAM’s Olympic Sculpture Park invites you to stay late on Thursday evenings all through the summer. Food, drink, music, activities and crazynice sunsets await. Olympic Sculpture Park , 2901 Western Ave, 654-3100. Free. Thurs July 11, 6-8 pm.

HOW IS SEATTLE REMEMBERED?

Architect and mayoral candidate

Peter Steinbrueck guest-presents. What will the man whose vision for the future The Stranger described as “the mid-1970s” say about history-making? The Project Room 1315 E Pine St. Free. Fri July 12, 7-8 pm.

PILCHUCK OPEN HOUSE

The Pilchuck Glass School opens up to the public with tours, activities, and “hot glass demonstrations.” Sexy! Pilchuck Glass School, 1201 316th St. NW, Stanwood. pilchuck.com. $20. Sun July 14, noon-5 pm.

PRINTER’S

HAPPY HOUR

This semi-weekly (check website for confirmation) happy hour gives you the chance to make something other than bad decisions. Bring a chair, make some prints, and enjoy. Miss Cline Press, 2370 East Cherry St, 617-7344. facebook. com/missclinepress. Friday July 12, 4-7 pm.

TRAVELING LIGHT

CONVERSATIONS

Cullom hosts a recorded roundtable discussion with all kinds of art people in their many-splendored forms. You’re invited. Cullom Gallery, 603 S Main St, 919-8278. Free. Sat July 13 and 20, 3-5 pm. visualart@thestranger.com

READINGS

Wednesday 7/10

KATE DAVIES

The Rise of the US Environmental Health Movement is about how to pitch the environment as a health issue, not a future issue. University Book Store 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400. Free. 7 pm.

Thursday 7/11

DAVID HERLIHY

Herlihy is the author of Bicycle: The History and, most recently, The Lost Cyclist, which is about a man who tried to bicycle around the world in the 1890s. Central Library, 1000 Fourth Ave, 624-6600. Free. 7 pm.

JACK SKILLINGSTEAD, NANCY KRESS

Kress, who is a very good Seattle-based sci-fi author, helps celebrate the release of her husband’s new sci-fi novel, Life on the Preservation. It’s about a futuristic Seattle which exists in a temporal bubble. Elliott Bay Book Company 1521 10th Ave, 624-6600. Free. 7 pm.

Friday 7/12

DOUG FINE

Too High to Fail looks at the marijuana industry, which most of the country doesn’t recognize as the cash cow that it is. (Washington represent!) University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400. Free. 7 pm.

BUSHWICK BOOK CLUB

The book-minded concert series, in which local musicians create new songs in response to a selected text, takes on The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn These are always a fun time. The Royal Room, 5000 Rainier Ave S. thebushwickbookclubseattle. com. $5-15. 8:30 pm.

Saturday 7/13

FIFTH For months now, the Five Alarms Greenwood team has put together a series of lit crawls that stretched from one end of Greenwood to the other. Tonight, the fifth and final Greenwood Lit Crawl, titled FIFTH, will run from roughly 6:30 to 11 p.m. at four or five different venues. Expect readers including Arlo Smith, Matthew Pritchard, Benjamin Schmitt, Chelsea Kurnick, Luke Johnson, Imani Sims, and Stranger Genius finalist Maged Zaher. For up-to-date information about readers and venues, visit fivealarms.wordpress.com. Greenwood Free. 6:30 pm.

CHUCK KLOSTERMAN

I Wear the Black Hat is a meditation about why we are interested in evil characters. Elliott Bay Book Company 1521 10th Ave, 624-6600. Free. 7 pm.

KARA WEISS

Late Lights is “a novella-in-stories,” whatever that means. It’s about three childhood friends who grow up. Third Place Books Ravenna, 6504 20th Ave. NE, 525-2347. Free. 7 pm.

AISHA TYLER

The host of the TV show The Talk reads from Self-Inflicted Wounds: Heartwarming Tales of Epic Humiliation Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave, 6246600. $5. 7:30 pm.

ANTON DISCLAFANI DiSclafani’s much-acclaimed debut novel is The Yonahlossee Riding Camp for Girls Elliott Bay Book Company, 1521 10th Ave, 624-6600. Free. 7:30 pm.

Sunday 7/14

MEGAN WATZKE

The press officer for NASA’s Chandra X-Ray Observatory reads from her book Ticket to the Universe: A Guide to Exploring the Cosmos Elliott Bay Book Company , 1521 10th Ave, 624-6600. Free. 3 pm.

Monday 7/15

CHRIS BOHJALIAN

The formerly Oprah-approved author reads from his newest novel, The Light in the Ruins , which is about life in post-WWII Italy. Third Place Books 17171 Bothell Way

NE, 366-3333. Free. 7 pm.

Tuesday 7/16

MARGO LANAGAN

As part of Clarion West’s stellar summer reading series, Lanagan will read from her newest scifi novel, Yellowcake. She’s an award-winning Australian author who is perhaps best known for her novel Tender Morsels University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400. Free. 7 pm.

readings@thestranger.com

THEATER

Opening and Current Runs

7 DEADLY BIRTHDAYS

The seven most influential birthdays of Madeline Ruth Winafred MacMorran, now a recovering Catholic whose motto is “once a Catholic, always a sinner.” Copious Love Productions at Washington Hall , 153 14th Ave. www. copiouslove.org. $12-$15. Select Thurs-Sun at 7:30 pm. Through Aug 3. THE ACROBATIC CONUNDRUM

A circus-theater hybrid company called the Acrobatic Conundrum performs The Way Out, about eight strangers trapped in a world with no exit. Youngstown Cultural Arts Center, 4408 Delridge Way SW, 686-3729. strangertickets. com. $20. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through July 27. THE CLOCKWORK PROFESSOR

Pork Filled Productions presents a new steam-punk adventure play by Maggie Lee (Kindred Spirits), directed by Amy Poisson (These Streets). Professor Pemberton, a resident of New Providence, must confront his past as political unrest sweeps through his town. Theater Off Jackson 409 Seventh Ave S, www. brownpapertickets.com.

$10-$15. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Aug. 3.

EVIL DEAD THE MUSICAL

A musical-theater mashup of Evil Dead Evil Dead 2, and Army of Darkness, the campy schlock-horror series about college students who accidentally “unleash an evil terror.” Last Chance Productions at Erickson Theater Off Broadway , 1524 Harvard Ave, 877-976-EVIL. $25-$35. Thurs at 8:30 pm, Fri-Sat at 7 and 10:15 pm. Through July 20.

HENRY V “Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting.” Directed by George Mount. Seattle Shakespeare Company’s Wooden O at Various locations . seattleshakespeare.org. Free. ThursSun at various times, see website for details. Through Aug 11.

INTIMAN SUMMER THEATER FESTIVAL

The four plays of Intiman’s second summer festival center around the theme of things people tend not to talk about at the dinner table: race, sex, money, and politics. The plays include: Trouble in Mind by Alice Childress, directed by Valerie Curtis-Newton; Stu for Silverton , a worldpremiere musical about the real-world trans mayor of a small Oregon town, directed by Andrew Russell; Lysistrata by Aristophanes, directed by Sheila Daniels; and We Won’t Pay! We Won’t Pay! by Dario Fo, directed by Jane Nichols. This summer’s acting company—which will perform in all four plays—includes Charles Leggett, Adam Standley, Tracy Michelle Hughes, Marty Mukhalian, and others. Cornish Playhouse at Seattle Center, 201 Mercer St. intiman.org. $20-$50 for single tickets, $70-$250 for festival passes. Tues-Sun at various times. See website for details. Through Sept 15.

LUCKY IN LOVE

A new circus and cabaret show set in a casino, rolling high with the talents of Les Petits Frères, contortionist Vita Radionova, chanteuse Francine Reed, trapeze artists Duo Madrona, juggler Sergiy Krutikov, and former Ringling Bros. clown Peter Pitofsky. Teatro ZinZanni ,

222 Mercer St, 802-0015. $60-$108. Thurs-Sat at 6:30 pm, Sun at 5:30 pm. Select Wed evenings and Sun matinees. Through Sept. 8.

THE MAGIC PUDDING

A summer park performance of a “relatively unknown Australian classic” about three vagabond friends and their magic pudding who are pitted against judges, politicians, and police officers in this satirical children’s play. Theater Schmeater at Volunteer Park, 1247 15th Ave, 6844555. schmeater.org. Free. SatSun at 5 pm. Through July 27. MY OBVIOUSLY

UNSUCCESSFUL LIFESTYLE

See review, page 23. “With one leg in the world of modern dance and one leg in the world of burlesque and some weird third leg in the world of performance art, Cherdonna and Lou straddle a variety of genres like no one else. In a bittersweet twist, the duo’s brand-new show, My Obviously Unsuccessful Lifestyle, is their collaborative swan song before venturing off on solo paths, and no fan of dance, burlesque, or drag should miss it.” (David Schmader) Velocity Dance Center, 1621 12th Ave, 3258773. www.brownpapertickets. com. $12-$18. Sat-Sun at 8 and 10 pm. Through July 14.

PICNIC

A handsome drifter comes to a small town on Labor Day weekend and sets all the ladies aflutter. Written by William Inge, directed by Davis Hsieh. ReAct Theater at Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 364-3283. reacttheatre.org. $8-$16. Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm. Through Aug 3.

SEATTLE OUTDOOR THEATER FESTIVAL

This weekend, GreenStage brings together a whole gaggle of outdoor summer shows for a two-day mini-festival. Shows will include The Lost Folio by Jet City Productions, King Lear and A Midsummer Night’s Dream by GreenStage, The Tempest and Henry V by Seattle Shakespeare Company’s Wooden O, The Totally True and Almost Accurate Adventures of Pinocchio by Balagan, and more. Volunteer Park, 14th Ave E and E Prospect St, 329-2629. greenstage.org/ sotf. Free. Sat from noon until 7 pm, Sun from 11 am until 7 pm. Through July 14.

SKID ROAD: SEATTLE’S IMPROVISED HISTORY

From the Unexpected website:

“Seattle was founded in water and fire, by some of the biggest sons-of-bitches this side of the Mississippi! They fought, schemed, and betrayed each other, but they’d be dammed if they didn’t end up creating a hell of a city... Skid Road asks the audience what problems they want to pit against the founders, profiteers, prostitutes and degenerates of the fledgling city, and then lets then sit back to watch the hilarious fight.” Unexpected Productions at Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 587-2414. www.brownpapertickets.com. $5-$15. FriSat at 10 pm. Through Aug 10.

THE TEMPEST

“You mar our labour: keep your cabins; you do assist the storm.” Directed by Kelly Kitchens. Seattle Shakespeare Company’s Wooden O at Various locations seattleshakespeare.org. Free. ThursSun at 7 pm, with select matinees.

THE TOTALLY TRUE AND ALMOST ACCURATE ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO

A new summer park play by Brendan Healy (Suffering, Inc.), directed by Shawn Belyea, about an Italian theater group whose lead actor has disappeared. Balagan Theater at Volunteer Park 1247 15th Ave, 684-4555. balagantheatre.org. Free. Sat-Sun at 2 pm. Through July 27.

WEDDING HORROR

STORIES

Seattle Experimental Theater’s new improv show about “open bars, embarrassing family members, and terrible bridesmaids dresses.” Wing-It Productions 5510 University Way NE, 352-8291. www. brownpapertickets.com. $12$15. Thurs-Fri at 8 pm. Through July 19.

MUSIC GENIUS SHOWCASE

AT THE FRYE ART MUSEUM

Hear what all the fuss is about during the MUSIC NIGHT of our 5-part series, featuring this year’s hottest Seattle musicians and hosted by Emily Nokes!

WEDNESDAY, JULY 24 | 5:30-8 PM | 21+

704 Terry Ave. $10 tickets include one cocktail.

“Amazing date night experience. Best Sea le a raction and a must see.”

— Pamela, via Facebook

HOW DOES KATIE KATE POP OUT SUCH SICK BEATS?

{ Illustration 1 } Map of regions of Genius.

Tickets at strangertickets.com

WHICH ADORABLE BOWTIE WILL JHEREK BISCHOFF BE SPORTING?

WHAT DOES EYVIND KANG MEAN ABOUT NOT BECOMING A “FETISH OF YOURSELF”? (AND DOES JESSIKA KENNEY LIKE WHEN HE SAYS “FETISH”?) A THREE-HOUR WHIRLWIND OF CIRQUE • COMEDY • CABARET served with a multi-course feast

WEDDING CRASHER

BY SARAH GALVIN

ADORABLE TOGETHER

Lisa Trinidad and Brian M. were married at 11 a.m. on a Lake Union boccie ball court on the longest day of the year. The only clouds were of the puffy storybook variety, flowers bloomed all around the court, and a stereo played violin and accordion versions of Pixies, Queen, and Depeche Mode songs. The wedding was held in the morning so the reception could include brunch, the couple’s

favorite meal. They met at a brunch held by the Portland Masturbation Club, which Lisa founded. PMC events are exactly what they sound like, besides the brunch part, which the name does not advertise. They looked adorable together in matching pink outfits. Brian was wearing a wooden bow tie, and Lisa had what appeared to be glass bow ties on her shoes.

Lisa Trinidad and Brian M. June 21, 2013, at Blue Ribbon Cooking School

THE STRANGER

BRUNCH-LOVERS So cute.

JAPAN’S CULTURE OF CUTE

Happening now, Seattle Art Museum’s tremendous Future Beauty: 30 Years of Japanese Fashion contains so many styles in so many shapes, so many fabrics, and by so many talented designers, like Yohji Yamamoto, Rei Kawakubo, and Jun Takahashi, that it’s easy to get overwhelmed, I know. But you’ve got to pick something to start with. Perhaps you’re super into soft, round, puffy, huggable things? Because who isn’t! Come to the “Cool Japan” gallery, and I’ll show you around.

This part of the exhibit investigates Tokyo’s street-wear aesthetics, and a pair of Lolita fashion gowns by Kumiko Uehara of Baby, the Stars Shine Bright rests near the entrance. The cute just rolls in. A confectionary of lace, ribbons, embroidery, bows, ruffles, some more ruffles, Victorian cuffs, stockings, aprons, pinafores, pochettes, bonnets, pendants, and garters—these ensembles pair well with nursery-rhyme celebrities, or video-game heroines, or girls who live in small, tidy rooms suffused in rainbow vapor, with plush toys everywhere arranged in rows.

Near the dresses is a rubber-boot set with matching silk-charmeuse cape by Naoki Takizawa for Issey Miyake. It’s patterned with Aya Takano’s spindly cartoon print depicting seminude alien figures in bubble helmets drifting over a surreal landscape, and it manages to appear both bleak and charming at once. Another outfit is a hyper-casual-garagesale-Easter-candy-rodeo-clown-pajama-party compilation by anonymous designers, with errant pom-poms, layers, dingle-ball trims, piles of plastic jewelry, and gingham prints probably left over from the curtains of gingerbread houses. There are tons of

An ancient European handfasting ceremony was performed by Emma Jay Byfield, a charming professional officiant. She wrapped their hands together with colorful ribbons symbolizing various types of luck. Then she read the vows the couple wrote for each other, and everyone cheered and blew bubbles. This was followed by a brunch of eggs, French toast, and an amazing sweet-potato hash. M&Ms with the bride and groom’s faces printed on them were enjoyed, as was a Panamanian dessert for special occasions, called huevitos de leche, made by Lisa’s mom. Lisa’s family came all the way from Panama for the wedding. There were many mimosa toasts, and Brian and Lisa mushed cake into each other’s faces, giggling. Emma announced there was going to be a burlesque show. Lisa sat on a chair in the middle of the room, and Brian gleefully pulled off her garter and flung it into the air. It landed on me. I wondered: If whoever catches the bouquet will be the next to marry, what happens when you catch a wedding garter?

Invite us to your wedding at weddingcrasher@thestranger.com!

strawberries, too—they’re a dominant theme in Japan’s culture of cuteness.

Sharon Kinsella discussed this complicated topic in her essay “Cuties in Japan.” The movement embodies the region’s postwar disillusionments, prolongs the shift from adolescence into adulthood, simultaneously skirts and heightens erotic expression, and brings us an impressive range of trends and products. There’s the stylized “kitten writing” penmanship, with wobbly rounded shapes, and random insertions

of hearts and faces into text. And babyish slang words “sex” is nyan nyan suru, or “to meow meow.” There’s ladies’ underwear, constructed with hefty amounts of elastic so it will stretch to fit, but off the body taking the shape of little girls’ panties. And can openers come inscribed with messages: “This can-opener is not just a kitchen tool. Treat it kindly and it will be our loyal friend.” Send fashion tips to marti@thestranger.com

SEATTLE ART MUSEUM

CHOW

The Great Ballard Ice Cream Battle

There Are Three Ice Cream Shops on One Block in Ballard—Which One Is the Best?

BY MEGAN SELING

There is an ice cream problem in Ballard. Okay, it’s not a “problem,” per se, but now that Li’l Woody’s has opened a second location on Market Street with a Molly Moon’s

ice cream counter inside, there are three places to get gourmet ice cream within one Ballard block—THREE! Just a few storefronts down from Li’l Woody’s sits Cupcake Royale, which has been serving a cupcakeinspired ice cream selection for more than a year now (red velvet cake ice cream with cream cheese chunks!), and across the street and one block down Leary is Full Tilt Ice Cream, which carries flavors like Blue Moon (“Tastes like Smurf barf,” as its little sign says) and cantaloupe black pepper (a seasonal selection that sounds amazing; I really regret not trying it while I was there).

Now that the sun is out and three different shops are begging for you to cool off at their ice cream counter, it’s time to find the winner, once and for all, in this crazy triangle of frozen confections. They all offer unique flavors, milkshakes, sundaes, and to-go pints, and sure, none of them are bad, but which ice cream is the best? To answer this burning question, I gathered up three pints from

each shop–chocolate, vanilla, and salted caramel—took them home, hid which brand was which, and fed each and every one to a brave, sweet-toothed panel. I also brought the leftovers into work because, man, nine pints of ice cream is really a lot of ice cream.

1, 2, 3, 4, I DECLARE AN ICE CREAM WAR!

TEST #1: VANILLA

Full Tilt’s French Vanilla: “This tastes more like whipped cream than vanilla ice cream—at least compared to the other two.” “It doesn’t even really smell like vanilla—it just smells like milk.” “Yeah, it’s milk-flavored ice cream.”

Cupcake Royale’s Triple Vanilla: “This is my favorite—it’s really rich.” “It tastes almost like caramel!” “It smells really good, too.”

Molly Moon’s Vanilla Bean: “This is the standout for me—I can really tastes the vanilla seeds.” “It’s more refreshing and crisp

than the other one, but [Cupcake Royale’s] tastes a little more special.”

The winner: Cupcake Royale. It’s both clean and decadent, boasting a lot of vanilla flavor without being overwhelming or tasting artificial to the palate.

TEST #2: SALTED CARAMEL

Full Tilt’s Salted Caramel: “This one is my favorite—it tastes just like a Werther’s Original.” “I think it tastes kind of like Crunchberries!” “Crunchberries? I don’t taste Crunchberries.” “This one is the most refreshing—the others are too salty.”

Cupcake Royale’s Burnt Caramel and Sea Salt: “I like this one because it’s not as sweet as the others.” “I think it tastes a little burnt…” “Caramel should taste a little burnt. That’s all it is, burnt sugar and cream. I like that.” “I don’t.”

Molly Moon’s Salted Caramel: “Whoa, this is a kick in the face!” “Yeah, I don’t think I want to finish this.” “I don’t like it at all. It tastes like a stick of butter with salt on it.”

“The first bite is great, but I don’t want to eat any more.”

Cupcake Royale’s Malted Milk Chocolate: “I do not like this one—it’s like eating Whoppers.” “It’s malted, it’s supposed to be like that. I love it!” “I don’t want it to be malted—it reminds me of Carnation Instant Breakfasts.” “My mom drinks those.” “So does mine!”

Molly Moon’s Melted Chocolate: “This is more bittersweet than the other two, but the aftertaste is weird.” “I like this one because it’s darker than the others, but I have to say, I like chocolate ice cream very much and none of these really impress me that much.” “That’s what I was going to say.”

Cupcake Royale

2052 NW Market St, 883-7656, cupcakeroyale.com

Full Tilt Ice Cream

The winner: A tie between Full Tilt and Molly Moon’s, with one (very adamant) renegade nomination for Snoqualmie Ice Cream’s Mukilteo Mudd. And, for the record, if you don’t like malt (weirdo), Cupcake Royale also carries a malt-free dark chocolate ice cream that’s quite good.

5453 Leary Ave NW, 767-4811, fulltilticecream.com

Molly Moon’s at Li’l Woody’s 2040 NW Market St, 257-5259, lilwoodys.com

The winner: Full Tilt. They’ve masterfully crafted a creamy salted caramel ice cream that isn’t too salty. If you’d prefer something less sweet, though, Cupcake Royale’s Burnt Caramel was a close runner-up (so long as you don’t mind your caramel tasting slightly burnt).

TEST #3: CHOCOLATE

Full Tilt’s Chocolate: “This one tastes like a chocolate Jell-O Pudding Pop!” (Cue a few minutes of Bill Cosby impersonations.) “It has a good mouthfeel.” “I hate that word.” “How about you make me a mouthfeel sundae?”

As you can see, there was no landslide winner here. Full Tilt is your most reliable choice, holding the lead with one and a half (out of three) points. Cupcake Royale is close behind with a full point (and it’s worth noting that they were the favorite in all categories for one tester).

While Molly Moon’s doesn’t have the best vanilla, chocolate, or salted caramel in town, I’m a sucker for their balsamic strawberry. Each place has its weaknesses; each has its merits—for example, besides really good ice cream, Full Tilt has pinball, and Cupcake Royale makes cupcake sundaes. You might just have to do a taste test of your own.

Battle about ice cream at THESTRANGER.COM/CHOW

THAT’S MEGAN’S CAT He’s diabetic, so he didn’t get any ice cream. Sad kitty!

MEGAN SELING

A three-hour whirlwind of cirque, comedy and cabaret served with a five-course feast.

DRRINKINNG WITH CHARLSE MUDEDE

BY CHARLERS MUDDEDE

THE GHOSTS OF THE PANAMA HOTEL

Panama Hotel Tea & Coffee House

607 S Main St, 515-4000

I must begin with this fascinating passage from David Owen’s Green Metropolis: “When a French-American salvage expedition, beginning in the mid-1990s, retrieved items from the RMS Titanic, which sank in 1912, none of the thousands of recovered articles—‘gold and silver wrist- and pocket watches, buttons, bracelets, jeweled necklaces, rings, tiepins and hairpins, gold pince-nez spectacles, leather goods, several hundred English coins, ivory combs, mirror cases, and hairbrushes’—included anything made of plastic, the first truly modern form of which, Bakelite, had only just been invented when the ship set sail.” If, say, one of Princess Cruises’ massive ships sank today (just over 100 years after the Titanic’s first and last trip) and was not recovered for 100 years, our distant and possibly more environmentally rational (meaning, less capitalistic) descendants would be appalled by the thousands upon thousands of articles— cell phones, headphones, microphones, blow-dryers, vibrators—made of plastic. Our civilization is all about plastic and oil. The material world of another time in history (the 1940s) can be found beneath the Panama Hotel Tea & Coffee House, a very cozy and quiet place that’s on the

NEKOS Beckoning.

ground floor of what was once the center of Nihonmachi (Japantown), the Panama Hotel. This is how you get there: From the main entrance that faces Main Street, you walk into the tearoom, order a glass of wine (it’s poured into the bowl of a big glass with a long stem—the cafe also serves hard stuff), down the wine, and place the empty glass on one of the five or so tables. And then proceed to an area that’s near the back and next to a set of steps that lead down to a lounge space packed with all sorts of things—a long wood table, couches, big red flowers, wicker chairs, cushions, a brick wall, framed black-and-white photographs, standing lamps, a freestanding coat rack, a low coffee table, old wooden barrels, a rusting teapot, and a colorful cluster of maneki nekos (beckoning cats). At this point, you look down and see through a Plexiglas floor panel objects that are slowly disintegrating from a state of highly improbable order to highly probable disorder. There is a folded kimono, a suitcase with stickers on it, tools, a green chair, a dusty basket, and a winter jacket with white fur on its hood. (There is also supposed to be an old newspaper with the headline “Evacuation of Japanese Due Within 10 Days,” but I’ve never located it.) Because the hardwood floors of the Panama Hotel creak with each step you take, you feel indeed that the ghosts are not those who were shipped to internment camps in Idaho and Montana, but you—the living and breathing and drinking being on this side of the void.

MANEKI

NOW OPEN

New Places for Stuffing Faces

BY BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT AND EMILY KLEIN

• THE MIX • Georgetown: Serving a massive muffuletta, pecan pie made from “Aunt Daisy’s 100-year-old recipe,” and the “holy trinity” of gumbo, jambalaya, and red beans and rice, the Mix promises authentic Cajun food (the chef is from Shreveport, Louisiana) in a “dark and edgy” Georgetown setting that’s better known as a music venue. It’s all $10 or less, too (except the massive muffuletta, which is $25 for a whole, $15 for a half, and $8 for a quarter). Seems totally worth a try. (6006 12th Ave S, 767-0280, themixseattle.com, $)

• BABYLON BY BUS • Capitol Hill: According to Nosh Pit, Taylor Cheney used to do the pop-up called Arabesque at Mistral Kitchen, then she spent four months in Cairo and worked at Mamnoon, and now she’s making her Middle Eastern food at La Bête on Monday nights. Sounds good! (La Bête, 1802 Bellevue Ave, 329-4047, facebook.com/labete.seattle, $)

• LITTLE UNCLE • Pioneer Square: Little Uncle on Capitol Hill is a walk-up window of Thai-food deliciousness. Little Uncle in Pioneer Square is equally delicious, located in the subterranean space where Marcus’ Martini Heaven used to be. Both are brought to you by former Lark souschef Wiley Frank and his wife, Poncharee Kounpungchart, also known as P.K., and

The Mix now has Cajun food, with a chef all the way from Louisiana.

also a chef, who are both extremely nice people. (Somewhat confusingly, “Little Uncle” is P.K.’s father’s nickname.) If you go get Little Uncle’s superlative, inexpensive Thai food, you will not regret it—it is exceptionally fresh, legitimately spicy, and just great. Note that the new location is super-busy between noon and one, but come before or after, and you’ll probably have the run of the place. (88 Yesler Way, 223-8529, littleuncleseattle.com, $–$$)

• STONEBURNER • Ballard: James Lechner and namesake Jason Stoneburner— Bastille’s manager and executive chef, respectively—also run this “more rustic” restaurant inside Hotel Ballard, which promises stone-hearth cooking, handmade pasta, and a “farm focus.” As part of the Bastille/Poquito’s/Macleod’s/ Von Trapp’s empire, the space has been furnished by pillaging “antiques from around the globe,” including from the decommissioned Italian embassy in Buenos Aires. (5214 Ballard Ave NW, 695-2051, stoneburnerseattle.com, $$–$$$)

• TEACHERS LOUNGE• Greenwood: Of this bar in Greenwood, owner Perryn Wright (lately of Cicchetti) told Eater Seattle: “It’s all based on cafeteria food, but it’s going to be a higher level. I call it gastro-teria.” Maybe “gastro-teria” is not a great word to describe food? (8505 Greenwood Ave N, no phone, $–$$)

• TANAKASAN • Belltown: Named after Eric Tanaka, co–executive chef and partner of the Tom Douglas empire, TanakaSan is one of T-Doug’s many food and nonfood businesses in the gargantuan Via6 complex at Sixth and Lenora. Confusingly,

Eric Tanaka is not the chef of TanakaSan; the upscale Asian-fusion menu comes from chef Brian Walczyk (formerly of Brave Horse Tavern), and includes rice bowls and fried chicken wings. (2121 Sixth Ave, 8128412, tanakasanseattle.com, $$–$$$)

• CAPITOL CIDER • Capitol Hill: Capitol Cider is a handsome, old-fashionedy pub serving lots of kinds of hard cider—30 on tap—along with the usual drinky suspects, plus non-holier-than-thou glutenfree food. Also: oil paintings commissioned from the students and alumni at Capitol Hill’s Gage Academy of Arts, a fireplace, and a 107-year-old piano (818 E Pike St, 397-3564, seattleciderbar.com, $$)

• FEZ ON WHEELS • on the road: Fez promises Middle Eastern food that transcends the usual falafel-centric paradigm, featuring ultra-smooth Israeli-style hummus, spicy North African–inspired tagines, and an intriguingly refreshing jallab/icedtea blend, among other things. (Traveling,

FROLIK’S DIRECTOR OF FUN

Carrie Dietz Director of Fun at Frolik 1415 Fifth Ave, 971-8000

Frolik, on the fifth floor of the downtown Red Lion, resembles a combination of a bowling alley, a high-budget production of Alice in Wonderland, and LA as imagined by someone who has never been there. Indoors, angular vinyl furniture surrounds a bar with a ceilingheight glowing blue backdrop; on the patio, stools made of varnished logs dot squares of Astroturf. The first thing I asked Carrie Dietz, Frolik’s “director of fun,” was, “Are those giant porcelain floor lamps on the patio?” In fact, they are lamp-shaped heaters. Next, of course: “What is a director of fun?” “I create ways for people to have fun at Frolik, whatever they may be,” she replied. She challenges guests to games of ping-pong—Frolik has several pingpong tables, plus shuffleboard—and plans to start presenting frequent diners with purple keys to boxes containing surprises.

The director of fun and I had cocktails and snacks in front of a wall of TVs, which she told me are outfitted with Microsoft Kinect. Under the TVs, there are stacks of board games. The Splish Splash, made with watermelon, vodka, and peppercorns, contained either magic or a perfect watermelon, and the Paper Moon—vodka, lemon juice, lemongrass syrup, lavender, cava—was crisp and fizzy. Frolik’s bacon-wrapped dates stuffed with Beecher’s cheese and marshmallow cheesecake both made me feel I’d been effectively directed to fun. SARAH GALVIN

CHOW BIO

THE STRANGER

432-0415, facebook.com/fezonwheels, $)

• PHO VIET ANH • Roosevelt: Pho Viet Anh says of their banh mi: “It is an explosion of flavors combining just enough meat, pickled carrots, fresh and cold cucumbers, cilantro, hot jalapeño peppers and those irresistible spreads of homemade pâté and mayo.” (6510 Roosevelt Way NE, 466-2179, phovietanh.com, $)

• LE ZINC • Capitol Hill: From the owners of Pike Place Market’s Maximilien, it’s an attractively contemporary-looking French place with updated versions of bistro staples (including four preparations of Penn Cove mussels and frites), cocktails (including a Parisian-style absinthe fountain and an extensive eau-de-vie selection), and (naturellement) a zinc-topped bar. At the bar: Andy McClellan (Golden Beetle); front of the house: Parris Broderick (Il Bistro, Canlis); in the kitchen: Jaron Witsoe (Maximilien). (1449 E Pine St, 257-4151, le-zn.com, $$)

• TINELLO • Pioneer Square: Tinello, run by Rudy La Valle of the late Rialto Pasta Bar, is a smallish, sleekish Italian place with an open kitchen in Pioneer Square. David Hahne, of the deceased Enotria, was a partner at the beginning and was to

Nosh, the Food Truck’s speciality is “Seattle Fried Rabbit.”

be the chef, but just before opening that changed to Rob Milliron, formerly of the still-alive Homegrown Sustainable Sandwich Etc. and Bizzarro. (314 Second Ave S, 467-4541, tinelloseattle.com, $$)

• NOSH, THE FOOD TRUCK • on the road: Nosh, the Food Truck is brought to you by Seattle native Josh Downey (Oceanaire, Toulouse Petit) and Londoner Harvey Wolff (a “freelance culinary producer” who previously launched AZ Canteen, Andrew Zimmern’s food truck). The menu is all less than $10, and the specialty is “Seattle Fried Rabbit.” (Traveling, 489-8712, noshfood truck.com, $)

• PANE PANE • downtown: Pane Pane makes weirdly cheap sandwiches downtown using cured meat, sauces, and bread all made in-house, according to Nosh Pit. (304 Union St, 623-7263, panepanesand wiches.com, $)

• SUSHI SAMURAI • Queen Anne: Sushi where Pinkabella Cupcakes used to be. (1817 Queen Anne Ave N, 766-0298, $$)

NEW LOCATIONS OF EXISTING PLACES: NARWHAL • on the road: The (great) Walrus and the Carpenter mobilizes its seafood offerings with a truck named after the majestic uni-horned sea beast • CACTUS • Bellevue: Located where Z’Tejas used to be • LI’L WOODY’S • Ballard: The Capitol Hill burger joint has a new branch on Market Street • MOLLY MOON’S • Ballard: With a counter inside the new Li’l Woody’s, Molly Moon’s empire now extends to Ballard (see page 29) • BILL THE BUTCHER • Wallingford: The latest shop in the chain has finally opened. You’ll recall that both namesake William Von Schneidau and the COO parted ways with the company a while back. Litigation ensued. In summer 2012, the Madison Valley and Bellevue Bill the Butcher branches closed.

MUSIC

How a Bunch of LOSERS Won Big A

Temporary Storefront Illustrates Sub Pop’s Legacy

BY EMILY NOKES

In honor of Sub Pop’s 25th birthday, let’s take a quick trip down remembering lane! Or, y’know, allow me to throw some history at you, in case you hate music or think “record label” refers

to the sticker on the front of those black Frisbees your dad used to play on the spin-y thing. In 1979, an Evergreen student with excellent music taste named Bruce Pavitt created a rock zine called Subterranean Pop, eventually morphing the concept into a column called Sub Pop U.S.A. in Seattle music biweekly the Rocket Pavitt teamed with Jonathan Poneman—a DJ on localmusic-focused radio show Audioasis at the time—for the release of Soundgarden’s Screaming Life EP in 1987. The two made it official in 1988, opening a real-deal office and embarking on a quest for loud bands and world domination under the name Sub Pop Records.

after an awesome-sounding seven-year run (I swear, every fourth music-enjoying adult in this city worked a shift at the original location), the Mega Mart closed its physical doors and moved online, where it’s been ever since. UNTIL NOW!

Sub Pop Silver Jubilee w/Brothers of the Sonic Cloth, Mudhoney, Built to Spill, J Mascis, and more Sat July 13, Georgetown, 10 am–11 pm, free, all ages

For Sub Pop’s big twofive, a new and temporary Mega Mart has popped up in the Georgetown neighborhood at 6003 12th Avenue South, right in between Via Tribunali and some dumpsters. And it’s super in there—a wonderland of records and merchandise put together with an eye for detail, down to the LOSER-branded-gumballs vending machine.

pencils are branded with the label’s iconic logos. Mega Mart is run by Tim Hayes (owner of the dearly missed Fallout Records from 1999 to 2003), who admitted, “I told myself I’d never work in another record store, but when they asked me, I mean, I just love these people so much—I had to do it.” He told me business has been busy since the shop’s hard opening June 28. What records seem most popular? “All the Mudhoney stuff, and Fleet Foxes, probably,” he estimates. Hayes says there will also be extra-special items available only on July 13, the day of the Sub Pop Silver Jubilee, though his idea for “a double-sided beach towel, one side Mark Arm, one side Tad Doyle—just their backsides, in LOSER Speedos” did not pan out (Sub Pop’s 30th?).

notes from bands like Dead Moon, Earth, and Sebadoh, a 1992 fanzine ad listing TAD and the Dwarves, art from the 10th and 20th anniversaries, A FAX FROM CHEAP TRICK. I had a hard time taking my eyes off it. People

In 1993, with groups like Mudhoney, L7, TAD, and, yes, Nirvana on its roster, the stillstruggling-despite-all-the-hype label opened a tiny storefront on First Avenue downtown and called it the Mega Mart, offering its fine catalog for in-person perusing. In 2000,

The front of the shop is set up like a hip living room—couches, a record player, knickknacks, old photos, and posters fill the space. The mart area is decorated with bold album covers, an island of record bins sits in the middle of the room, and rows of limited-edition goods like shirts, patches, mugs, shoes, and

But the best part—my favorite part—is the installation put together by Jeff Kleinsmith (senior art director) and Sasha Barr (art director) that takes up the shop’s entire southern wall: a giant collage of Sub Pop memory scraps largely from the precomputer-ish era. Treasures like the original tiny transparencies used to make the Nirvana Bleach cassette, or the layout board for Babes in Toyland’s House 7-inch sit under acrylic. Press kits, logo comps, art-direction

were trying to shop;

I was secretly wishing I could break in after-hours with a stepladder and read every single snippet.

The Mega Mart is a temporary glimpse of a legacy that continues. The installation,

KELLY O

MEGA MART MEMORIES An installation of Sub Pop treasures largely from the pre-computer-ish era (left), limited-edition merch (top), and album covers past and present (bottom).

the unchanged logos, the newer records from bands like METZ, Shabazz Palaces, and Father John Misty, mixed in with comedy albums by Eugene Mirman and Flight of the Conchords, with old softies like the Shins and the Postal Service—all proud pieces of the little label that could, and did. Sub Pop’s history is rooted in the “g” word, for sure— and that mythos will keep the nerds and fans fascinated probably forever—but the label’s ability to deal with the radical changes in the post-’90s music industry is definitely something to celebrate. Happy birthday, LOSERS!

We’ll be covering the Sub Pop Silver Jubilee this weekend at THESTRANGER.COM/LINEOUT

WHAT'S CRAPPENING?

• On Monday, seminal grunge daddies Pearl Jam announced, “Drrrrrrnt cll mrrrree dooooaaaughter, nert fet troooeeew,” adding that they’ll be playing KeyArena on December 6. Tickets will go on sale to the general public July 27 at 10 a.m. via Ticketmaster. Remember when Pearl Jam boycotted Ticketmaster? Those were the days.

• It was recently announced that Seattle’s Degenerate Art Ensemble will collaborate with San Francisco’s Kronos Quartet in a performance of DAE’s Predator’s Songstress. Haruko Nishimura will be dancing, and six singers—Korby Sears, John Osebold, Evan Flory-Barnes, Paul Moore, Devin Bannon, and Dohee Lee—will be involved. The performance is set for November 16 at the Neptune Theater.

• New York City indie label RVNG Intl. is preparing to reissue (on vinyl and CD) the bizarre ambient electronic music of Seattle’s Kerry Leimer. Titled Another Installation

View, the retrospective album should bring Leimer’s inventive, otherworldly output—which originally came out on the Palace of Lights label in the ’70s and ’80s— to a much wider audience.

• An anonymous Capitol Hill coffee and food establishment was blaring Lady Gaga at an unreasonable volume on Monday morning. The Monday morning after Fourth of July weekend, we might add.

• There is no way that anyone is going to tell me that Kanye West’s song “Black Skinhead”—off his much-chattered-about album Yeezus—is not based on a sample from Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People.”

• Pat Benatar—four-time Grammy winner, fashionable ’80s catsuit wearer—is now 60 years old, but still completely rocked the faces off everyone who journeyed to her set at the Chateau Ste. Michelle winery on Sunday. She played her hits, including “Hit Me with Your Best Shot," “Love Is a Battlefield,” “We Belong,” and “Invincible,” and sources were happy to say her voice is as strong and powerful as ever.

• It’s time to come clean. UGH, it turns out there is one good Taylor Swift song. We know we’re late to the party on this one, mainly because we avoid the red-lipstick fake-smiler at all costs, but “I Knew You Were Trouble” is a fantastic pop tune. There. Phew.

• Independent record store Wall of Sound reportedly has a good lead on a new space on Pike Street west of 12th Avenue. The excellent, long-running haven of underground music has to move out of its current space on Pine Street near Melrose by the end of August. Stay tuned for further details.

KELLY O

MORE MEGA MART Layout boards from old posters and more memorabilia.

OBLIVIANS

ROGUE

Blitzkreig w/ Andrew W.K. on Vocals • 10/14 Palma Violets • 10/16 King Khan & The Shrines • 10/18 Goblin • 10/24 Godflesh

FRIDAY JULY 12TH MODERN KIN PICTORIALS + ROSWELL COMING SOON 7/10 Futurebirds • 7/20 The Piniellas 7/21 Tu B’av Fest • 7/25 Groundislava 7/31 True Holland • 8/2 Conte 8/3 Sebadoh • 8/7 Ken Stringfellow 8/8 My Dad Bruce • 8/9 Jamie N Commons • 8/14 Grum • 8/15 Filastine 8/16 Cloud Control • 8/17 Real Don Music • 8/18 Filligar • 8/20 Majical Cloudz • 8/21 Luck One 8/22 Scout Niblett • 8/23 Eef Barzelay 9/6 Bleeding Rainbow 9/7 Ewert and The Two Dragons 9/17 Woods • 9/18 Y La Bamba 9/19 Porcelain Raft • 9/21 Hanni El Khatib • 9/22 Youryoungbody 9/23 Jackson Scott • 9/25 Dirty Beaches • 9/27 Chelsea Wolfe 9/28 Joan of Arc • 10/16 Tony Lucca

Fun Wolves and Coelacanths

H. Jon Benjamin vs. Eugene Mirman

BY MEGAN SELING

When Sub Pop announced the lineup for their Silver Jubil-eve: A 25th Anniversary Comedy Thing (for Charity!), I couldn’t decide who I was more excited about—

Eugene Mirman, the standup comedian I’ve seen at least 20 times in the past 10 years, who now does the voice of Gene on the very hilarious Bob’s Burgers, or H. Jon Benjamin, a new funny favorite of mine who not only voices Gene’s dad, Bob, but is also the voice of Home Movies’ Coach McGuirk. They’re both so hilarious! I can’t pick! So instead of deciding between the two, I interviewed both of them about Sub Pop, records, birthday parties, and each other.

H. JON BENJAMIN

Do you have a favorite Sub Pop band? I assume Eugene Mirman gets all his Sub Pop records for free, so I probably listen to less Sub Pop music than he does just because I have to pay out of pocket. But the last Sub Pop CD I bought was J. Mascis.

Did you like it? I did. And Dum Dum Girls. They’re good, too.

Who do you think Bob’s favorite Sub Pop band would be?

Bob would wear a Sub Pop T-shirt because Gene gave him one, but I don’t think he’d know any of the bands. He’s really a dad with a capital D-A-D. He has other things to do. He’s like, “I don’t care, listen to whatever you want. Just turn it down a little.”

Do you remember what you were doing when you turned 25? I don’t remember my birthday party, but I lived in Cambridge, Massachusetts. I was working at a library, then at night as a waiter. That was probably

what I was doing on my birthday, working. Sorry, that’s a really sad silver jubilee.

What was one of the best birthday parties you’ve ever had? There was a birthday party in New York, at a bar on University— it was kind of a surprise party. Everybody sang “Happy Birthday,” but they only sang the “Haaaaaa” part. Everyone did that, “Haaaaaa,” for literally 10 minutes, until we all got kicked out. It was funny—they wouldn’t stop singing the first syllable of “happy.”

That’s pretty great—entertaining and terrible at the same time. Yep, that’s my favorite combo.

If you had to choose a spirit animal for Eugene Mirman, what would it be? Oh, man… a coelacanth. They’re very rare, they live on the bottom of the ocean, and no one can find them—it’s the one creature that hasn’t changed since the beginning of time.

Do you have a favorite Sub Pop band? No, I just like a bunch of the bands. Blitzen Trapper, the Shins, the Thermals…

Who do you think Gene’s favorite Sub Pop band would be? It might be Nirvana. Or the Postal Service because of how much he loves mailing music. The real answer would probably be much closer to Weird Al.

Do you have a favorite birthday party memory? Oh yeah. When I was a kid, there was a place in my town where you could get an ice cream sundae, then walk down this row of fixings and add as much as the bowl could hold. You could put in as much marshmallow or caramel or whatever—that was very great. It was called Putnam Pantry, which I believe has since gone out of business because children ate all their caramel.

Do you remember the first record you bought with your own money? It might’ve been either Permanent Vacation or Done with Mirrors by Aerosmith. I remember my first mixtape, which, mixtape is a strong word for something that only had three songs on

it—but it was “Money for Nothing,” “Born in the USA,” and I think Van Halen’s “California Girls” cover. It was those three songs on a tape that I’d just listen to and rewind.

You took to rock at a pretty young age. Yeah, I had an older brother and I lived in Boston, so I had a lot of Aerosmith and classic rock. Eventually I got into bands like the Velvet Underground, Robyn Hitchcock, the Pixies. Once Nirvana became popular, people stopped trying to beat up nerds. That was the biggest thing. Literally, when Nirvana became popular, it was okay to be a little weird. It’s funny, when I signed to Sub Pop, I was like, “Oh, you’re the people who put out the thing that made it much easier in my life.” They helped me in 1992, and then I joined them 20 years later.

If you had to choose a spirit animal for H. Jon Benjamin, what would it be? I guess it would be a super-fun and conscientious wolf.

And why is that? You asked me to pick an animal, not explain it.

Silver Jubil-eve: A 25th Anniversary Comedy Thing (for Charity!)

Eugene Mirman, Marc Maron, H. Jon Benjamin, Kristen Schaal, and Kurt Braunohler

Fri July 12, Moore Theater, 8 pm, $22.50

EUGENE MIRMAN

MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS, KINGDOM CRUMBS, SUB POP SILVER JUBILEE

Ah! Here now is that part of the year when Seattleites get their rightful payoff for enduring a million gray days of vitamin D–deprived misery, as incredible, sunsplashed vistas of green vegetation, silver-blue mountains (or is that just my Coors Light?), and rippling water are all spread out like some godly buffet underneath a cloudless dome of blue. It’s easy to get lost in a haze of your choosing, too easy. Just last week, we celebrated our freedom (to eat or otherwise consume) as our government stalked us like The Cable Guy, hunting down the folks brave enough to tell us the truth. We saw George Zimmerman’s lawyer open up with a knockknock joke, and the LAPD shot a man’s dog. Plus, we watched the latest in the unprecedented unrest, uprisings, and revolt happening everywhere—shouts to Egypt, Turkey, and Brazil, not to mention the civil war in Syria and a million other things. Plus: the BET Awards. Shit is real, dog— but it’s also surreal. (Not SeaReal, mind you, but shouts to Dub B anyway.)

Case in point: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis announced a 30-plus-date US tour with Talib Kweli and Big K.R.I.T. opening up. Appropriate to their pop-radio arena-rap, this is a real-deal arena tour. Their final show, here in Seattle at the 17K-capacity KeyArena, sold out in 15 minutes—the second show they added took about two hours. Just recently, the Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act as unconstitutional. M&RL’s “Same Love”—the most explicitly pro-same-sex-marriage song ever—is undoubtedly the defining soundtrack of this historic decision. Does that mean a bunch of rappers, here and elsewhere, are going to try to tackle hammy issue-based songs, stunt in Goodwill furs, and have similarly ampersanded collaborative projects with government-name-using producers? Yes, definitely.

Also in “Yes, definitely” news: Kingdom Crumbs play Neumos on Thursday, July 11, with Kung Foo Grip, Nu Era, and Gift uh Gab, plus young hustlin’ DJ Same. Should you go? Yes, definitely. Is this a conflict of interest because I now comanage Kingdom Crumbs? Yes, definitely. (Sorry, just being transparent, like Kevin Bacon in that one movie.) You’ll be happy to know KC are working on the follow-up to their debut— presumably, Gift uh Gab is doing the same. But in the meantime, I hope you heard her outta-nowhere remix of the classic “Dead Wrong,” because she fuckin’ snapped on it. Shabazz Palaces (literally right off the plane from touring Vietnam, Hong Kong, China, Korea, and Singapore)— along with a host of brilliant guitar bands—play the (free, outdoor) Sub Pop Silver Jubilee in Georgetown on July 13, my birthday, so there’s definitely that. Fake Four founder Ceschi, Onry Ozzborn (who is gearing Grayskul back up—check their “Come On” video), Graves33 (he’s got a new Jack Gaffle–featuring video for “Checklist Infinite”), and Macklemore phan Phreewil (see: his vintage underground MC vent session “None of Em”) all play Nectar the next night as well. There you go—good luck out there, because you’re probably gonna need it.

NEVER HEARD OF ’EM

BY ANNA MINARD

Anna Minard claims to “know nothing about music.” For this column, we force her to listen to random records by artists considered to be important by music nerds.

THE SHINS

Chutes Too Narrow (Sub Pop)

This is what I should have been listening to in high school instead of a bunch of weird mix CDs I made out of a combination of my parents’ music collection, stuff I downloaded via LimeWire because I heard someone mention it, the songs that came for free on the first version of iTunes, and my own strange Top-40-turned-gross-rock CD binder thing. Those things are so poorly curated, they point to some sort of pathological cool-blindness. They make me feel sick with embarrassment. (Seriously: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Kid Rock, the Phantom of the Opera theme song, Fiona Apple, half the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack, Daft Punk, U2, and some off-brand mom-and-dad folksters, all on one CD? Sure, says 15-year-old me!) But now it’s the future! And I don’t go to Montessori school anymore! And I get to start over! YAY!

So let’s listen to the Shins, so we can be like the kids in Garden State! (Ha-ha, sorry, I know you were hoping I wouldn’t make that reference.) I listened to Chutes Too Narrow while getting ready for a big Fourth of July shindig, and it was bright and fast and fun. It starts with clapping and a “Woo!” Then it sounds like the cute boy from high school asked you out on a date, and you’re driving around in his car on a sunny day. Later, you go to a party in someone’s backyard that’s lit with those little round Christmas lights. (But it looks like an indie movie, not a car commercial— get the filter right.) The overall mood of Chutes is of feeling young and vital and scared and adventurous. Fast strumming and cloud-sounding drums and harmonies. The thing that actually took my breath away, though, is the last track, “Those to Come.” I was reading a magazine when it came on, and I actually set it down in slow motion and just stared at the stereo, breathed along with the song, smiled. It snuck up on me and filled me with FEEEELS. I wanted to go back or forward in time and have A Moment while listening to it. Making a nervous first breakfast with someone new? Roadtripping through a strange forest? We’ll see. Overall, finally listening to the Shins wasn’t embarrassing at all; it was warm and wonderful. Well, the one embarrassing part was when I realized “Gone for Good” reminded me of this one song I really like that a friend put on a mix for me, and I had to hum it to myself over and over so I wouldn’t forget it while I googled the lyrics, and then that song turned out to be “Simple Song.” By the Shins. Oh, well! I give this a “make-outs in the meadow” out of 10.

FRIDAY JULY 12TH

NIGHTMARE AIR (EX-FILM SCHOOL) HAPPY HOLLOWS // VIBRAGUN (RECORD RELEASE)

SATURDAY JULY 13TH

EDDIE SPAGHETTI (SUPERSUCKERS)

JASON DODSON (MALDIVES) // DEAD MAN

THURSDAY JULY 18TH

MASTER MUSICIANS OF BUKKAKE MIDDAY VEIL (LP RELEASE) // PANABRITE // DJ EXPLORATEUR SUNDAY JULY 14TH ACCIDENTAL BEAR QUEER MUSIC TOUR

LOGAN LYNN // CONQUISTADOR // BIG DIPPER // & MORE!

THURSDAY JULY 25TH

SUNDAY JULY 28TH

AROUND THE BLOCK PARTY

WIMPS // HAUNTED HORSES, // MTNS // DUDE YORK // THE EXQUISITES & MORE!

GRAYSKUL RA SCION

Continental Soldiers, Clutch Douglas, DJ Phil Anthony 21+

MindField Presents: JUSTIN MARTIN Pezzner, Kid Hops 21+

Crocodile & ReignCity present: DESSA

OF 2ND &

ILLCHRIS, LOUIS V 7/26 WINDOWPANE 7/27 NITE WAVE 7/31 MIKE STUD 8/1 LIGHTNING DUST 8/5 KEYBOARD KID, BLKHRTS 8/6 PRIVATE PARTY 8/9 THE GOOD HURT 8/15 GOOD MEN AND THOROUGH 8/16 SMITH WESTERNS 8/17 ONE DROP 8/18 PIANO PIANO, SLOW BIRD 8/23 SOULS OF MISCHIEF 8/24 NEAL BRENNAN 8/24 STONES THROW SOUL TOUR W/ PEANUT BUTTER WOLF, DAM-FUNK, THE STEPKIDS, MYRON & E 8/25 ALYSE BLACK 8/29 GREGORY ALAN ISAKOV 9/3 MURDER BY DEATH 9/5 POOLSIDE 9/7 PREFUSE 73 9/10 TYPHOON 9/26 DB FEST: RESIDENT ADVISOR SHOWCASE FEAT ACTRESS 10/5 TOM ODELL 10/16 LEGENDARY PINK DOTS 10/17 CARBON LEAF 10/22 BOY

TICKETS @ THECROCODILE.COM & UNDER THE NEEDLE TATTOO MORE INFO AT WWW.THECROCODILE.COM HAPPY HOUR 4PM-7PM & 11PM-CLOSE DAILY! 50% OFF WOOD FIRED PIZZAS $1 OFF WELLS $4 DRAFT BEERS

NIGHTS AT THE

SOUND CHECK

BY TRENT MOORMAN

ALL HAIL TAD DOYLE

The belly of Seattle’s rock-music scene has spit out few beasts more magnificent than Tad Doyle. He possesses a combination of brains, brawn, and barbarous waggery—the likes of which have never been seen before, nor since. Back in the day, his band TAD bored a hole in your head, and you loved them for it. They were big, nasty, nutso— their deafening, darkened heaviness helped usher in the hallowed sound of Sup Pop’s dominant early-’90s era. Onstage, Tad enacted the character of a madman-butcher to the hilt; between songs, his chatter with the crowd was renowned. If you were lucky, Tad would tell you to fuck off. If you were luckier, Tad would dive off the stage and crush you, and then tell you to fuck off three more times.

Life after TAD for Sir Doyle brought about more heaviness with now-defunct band Hog Molly, and his current band,

Brothers of the Sonic Cloth (his wife, Peggy Doyle, on bass and Dave French on drums), who roam down stoned, 12-minute-long corridors of doom, psych, and metal. Doyle also applies his engineering knowledge to recording, mixing, and mastering bands in his own Witch Ape Studio.

For Sub Pop’s Silver Jubilee, original TAD guitarist Gary Thorstensen will be joining Brothers of the Sonic Cloth for a few TAD songs. Doyle spoke. His voice low, his thoughts clear. The man is a legend.

Walk me back to the formation of your band TAD and your Muzak days. We were all working at Muzak, the unlikely bastion of tomorrow’s punk rock at the time, and Bruce Pavitt was my boss. Mark Arm was in the same room as me. It was fun, we’d crank Butthole Surfers and whatnot, cleaning Fidelipac cartridges.

I was kinda bored in my band at the time—I’d played drums for so long and wanted to play guitar. I had a $600 tax return, so I bought a guitar and went to Reciprocal to record with Jack Endino. The next day, I brought a rough mix on cassette to work and played it in the cart room. Bruce came in and said something like “Oh wow, is this the new Butthole Surfers?” I started smiling from ear to ear—that was a great compliment. Soundgarden’s Screaming Life was just about to come out, and he said he wanted to put out a single with me.

Did your single have national distribution? No, I think one of the things Sub Pop had going for them is that they weren’t really trying to do anything on a national level. It was just “have fun and be as big and as loud as possible.” If that translated

into world domination, then great. One memory that stuck out to me is when Jonathan Poneman—the head label guy with Bruce—came out to one of our shows somewhere in the Midwest and sold shirts for us. I thought that was really cool. He’s not just there for the prestige, he’s there to help the bands, and he always had that great attitude. Both those guys are such great guys, good hearts.

When did you move to Seattle? You were originally a drummer, right? In 1986, I moved up with my band H-Hour. I was the drummer—drums were really my first instrument. I wanted to play drums really bad, but my parents said, “There’s an old tuba up in the attic. If you play that and show commitment to it, we’ll talk about drums.” So I was a tuba player for two years in grade school, enduring haranguing and harassment from other kids in school ’cause I was a chubby kid playing the tuba. So the tuba was my gateway to drums. I suffered for my art, man!

Who have you been working with lately at Witch Ape Studio? Just finished recording Caligula and mastering the new Eternal Bad. I’m also working on the new Heiress record.

How do you go about getting a band’s sound? Not just good sound, but their sound. That’s a great question. I like to see the band live, or go to one of their practices, and get a feel for what they’re about. I also like to ask the band what they want to do with the recording and how they want to approach it. I try to capture the essence and archive what’s happening with them at that time.

Have there been any Sub Pop sessions with other bands that you’ve been a part of? I played brushes on a Mark Lanegan track. And there was another band, you may have heard of them… But I’m not gonna go there.

I know what you’re going to say. You have to go there. No, I don’t.

Iron Maiden. Yes. Iron Maiden. I played shaker on an Iron Maiden track.

I got a hot tip that one of your animals was recently at the vet. My little girl cat Rabby got in a scrape with a neighborhood cat. She had a pierced paw and was limping, so we took her in. They prescribed an antibiotic and a painkiller, and man, she doesn’t do good with painkillers, she’s wobbly and resting. There are some pretty badass cats in this neighborhood.

What’s the status on the new Brothers album, Empires of Dust? It’s pretty close to being finished. We’re winding down to the end of the tweaking, and I’ve got one more vocal to sing. We’re already writing songs for our next album, and at the Jubilee, we’ll be playing two new songs.

What’s your advice to all the up-andcomers out there in this business of music? Number one: Don’t take any advice. Number two: Believe in yourself and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. And be true to yourself—don’t be a copycat. Certainly wear your influences on your sleeve, but be yourself, be original.

And don’t do heroin. Well, yeah, that’s a good idea, too... Read

Though born and raised in New York City, Hari Kondabolu

performed on Conan and John Oliver’s NY Standup Show on Comedy Central. He has also performed on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Live at Gotham and has his own Comedy Central Presents half-hour special, which debuted in February 2011. He is currently a writer for FX’s Totally Biased with

Brothers of the Sonic Cloth

Sub Pop Silver Jubilee

w/Brothers of the Sonic Cloth, Mudhoney, Built to Spill, J Mascis, and more Sat July 13, Georgetown, 10 am–11 pm, free, all ages

TERESA BERG

UP&COMING

Lose your campy atrocity of glam rap every night this week!

For the full music calendar, see page 51 or visit thestranger.com/music

For ticket on-sale announcements, follow twitter.com/seashows

Wednesday 7/10

Signalfy Launch: Nordic Soul, WD4D (Lo-Fi) See Data Breaker, page 55.

Futurebirds, Diarrhea Planet, Neighbors

(Barboza) The last time Nashville’s ill-named Diarrhea Planet, uh, blasted into Seattle, word is their Crocodile show was insanely fun—the band ran through the venue, hopped on one another’s shoulders, and otherwise showed the audience a rowdy good time. I believe it! Their big, feel-good power rock reminds me of Andrew W. K., minus the posiparty lyrics. Six dudes, four guitars, and the motto “shred ’til you’re dead”… you do the math. Bring Tums. Joining DP are Athens band Futurebirds (another sextet!), who play spacey, country-fried indie filled with lazy riffs and high-voiced group vocals. With the fancy-free fuzz pop of Seattle’s own Neighbors. EMILY NOKES

Bow Wow Wow, Gene Loves Jezebel (Studio Seven) This could be very depressing. Seeing bands that peaked during the ’80s in the 21st century rarely turns out well. Do you think Gene Loves Jezebel—who always sounded like a slick, glammy hybrid of U2, the Cult, and the Cure, in my jaundiced view—will dazzle you in 2013? Maybe it depends on your allegiances. This is the Michael Aston version of the group, as an intraband conflict caused an acrimonious split, so if you still have love for Mikey, go forth and worship. Bow Wow Wow were Malcolm McLaren’s post-Pistols plaything; they were a ridiculously ebullient troupe, fronted by charismatic teen pinup Annabella Lwin (now 46) and fueled by David Barbarossa’s massive Burundi-

derived tom-tomb beats. Their vigorous tribal-surf pop seems ripe for rediscovery. You still want candy, yes? DAVE SEGAL

Thursday 7/11

Kingdom Crumbs, Kung Foo Grip, Nu Era, Gift uh Gab, DJ Same

(Neumos) Though a year has passed since the four cats (Tay Sean, Jerm D, Mikey Nice, Jarv Dee) who do business as Kingdom Crumbs released their selftitled debut, I still hold the belief that they are one of the next big things to come out of Seattle. A part of the Cloud Nice Collective, Crumbs are smart, creative, and central in the scene, and they have the potential to become something like a Jurassic 5 for the post-’00s hiphop world. I also believe the quartet’s next album (which I hear is in the works) will be an important event for the city. And I say all of this, heap all of these praises, knowing full well that Crumbs were excluded from XXL’s mighty and mind-fucking “The New New: 15 Seattle Rappers You Should Know” list. CHARLES MUDEDE See also My Philosophy, page 42.

Rancid, the Transplants, NOI!SE

(Showbox Sodo) I’ve been having an argument in my brain since these Rancid shows were announced earlier this year—“It’s Rancid! Hooray!” “But it’s Rancid… in 2013.” “But it’s Rancid! Give ’em the boots, the roots, the radicals!” “Yeah, but it’s 2013 And the band hasn’t had a great album for more than 10 years.” Do I go to the show? Do I stay home and repeatedly listen to Let’s Go and …And Out Come the Wolves? To answer this question, I took a peek at some of the band’s recent set lists—it looks like they love their old material just as much as we

all still do. They’ve been playing nearly 30 songs a night, including “Journey to the End of the East Bay,” “Tenderloin,” “Nihilism,” “Olympia, WA,” and “Time Bomb.” Well, that settles that—see you motherfuckers in the pit! (Or, well, at least the edge of the pit—I’m an old lady now.) MEGAN SELING

Friday 7/12

Silver Jubil-eve: Eugene Mirman, Marc Maron, H. Jon Benjamin, Kristen Schaal, Kurt Braunohler (Moore) See preview, page 41.

Future Bible Heroes, Luxury Liners (Tractor) See Stranger Suggests, page 21.

François K, Karl Kamakahi, Wesley Holmes (Q Nightclub) See Data Breaker, page 55.

Rancid, the Transplants, the Interrupters (Showbox Sodo) See Thursday.

The Oblivians, the Fucking Eagles, Dude York (Neumos) Yes, you’re in for another reunion! Making quite the impression in their five-ish-year heyday (1993–1998), Memphis trio the Oblivians exploded onto the scene with scuzzy, dirt-caked garage punk—drunkenly paving the way for future fuzz-makers like Jay Reatard. The band broke up, but they all kept busy during the 16-year break: Eric Friedl founded Goner Records, Jack Yarber continued to play and record under the name Jack Oblivian, and Greg Cartwright formed the Reigning Sound. The group reconvened last year with a new album called Depseration, which retains their blown-out style, but with a touch less slop and inyour-face boundary shoving. With Tacoma band the Fucking Eagles—who have one of my favorite

JOHN MAYALL

THU, JUL 11 - SUN, JUL 14

The Godfather of British Blues

THE GRANDMOTHERS OF INVENTION

TUE, JUL 16 - WED, JUL 17

Performing Zappa’s landmark 1975 album, “One Size Fits All,” in its entirety, featuring pivotal musicians behind the Zappa legacy.

PONCHO SANCHEZ and

his

LATIN JAZZ BAND

THU, JUL 18 - SUN, JUL 21

Grammy-winning master conguero returns with his fiery brew of upbeat jazz, gritty soul and melodic rhythms.

HAZMAT MODINE

TUE, JUL 23 - WED, JUL 24

A New York septet that delivers rustic and joyful reggae, klezmer, rockabilly and gypsy-tinged music.

BILL EVANS’ SOULGRASS

Feat. special geusts

STEVE KIMOCK and JEFF PEVAR

TUE, JUL 30 - THU, AUG 1

Multiple Grammy-Award Winning saxophonist blending soul, jazz and Americana joined by guitar Master

2033 6th Ave. | 206.441.9729 all ages | free parking full schedule at jazzalley.com

7.11

7.13 Saturday (Bollywood / DJ / Dance) BOLLYGROOVES

W/ DJ Aanshul & DJ VJ

First 75 ladies to email groovynites@ gmail.com get in free $10 before 11:30pm | $12 After, 9pm Doors, 21+

7.14 Sunday (Hip Hop) Nectar presents: CESCHI

Graves 33, Chisme, Onry Ozzborn w/ Rob Castro, Jewels Hunter

$7 adv. $10 Doors, 8pm, 21+

7.15 Monday (Bluegrass)

JONATHAN WARREN and the BILLY GOATS

Barleywine Revue, Pickled Okra, Badger Pocket

$5 adv / $8 dos, 7pm doors, 21+

7/18

Queen Mookie Friday 7/12 at Pony

fucking band names, and thankfully don’t sound anything like the Eagles—and Seattle’s finest upbeat power-poppers, Dude York. EMILY NOKES

Ian McLagan

(Triple Door) As a member of Small Faces, British keyboardist Ian McLagan’s earned an exalted place in the rock pantheon. His soulful swells, strident vamps, and gorgeous filigrees helped make Small Faces one of the greatest R&B/sike-pop units of the ’60s. From that heady high, McLagan went on to play with Faces and Ron Wood, plus on sessions with luminaries like Chuck Berry, the Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Frank Black, and Nikki Sudden. He’s also been a member of Billy Bragg’s band since 1997 and has been leading his own trad blues-rock group in Austin, Texas, Bump Band, since 1977. Expect a combo of Small Faces/Faces tunes plus selections from his solo career; here’s hoping he does “Here Comes the Nice.” DAVE SEGAL

Mickey Avalon

(Showbox at the Market) Mickey Avalon’s bio reads like a West Coast reboot of a Lou Reed song. The alleged ex-model/ex-junkie/ex-hooker/current rapper is noted for getting booed off the stage during a 2007 Red Hot Chili Peppers tour, but a few years ago, after hearing his catchiest song, “Jane Fonda,” I went to check out one of his shows. It was a mindblowing, campy atrocity of glam rap featuring a bed on stage, “sexy” backup dancers climbing a backdrop chain-link fence, and, unfortunately, a lot of songs less catchy than the hit. I figured I wouldn’t be hearing much from him again, but recently his new single “Girlfriend” has gathered some attention. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend going to the Showbox to listen to an ex-model from LA rap about his dick, but this is Mickey Avalon, and his shtick is bigger than yours. BREE MCKENNA

Jeph Jerman’s El Grupo Arrastre

(Chapel Performance Space) Percussionist and Animist Orchestra founder Jeph Jerman leads “a choir of singing pot lids.” JEN GRAVES

Glitoris: Queen Mookie, Devil Eyes

(Pony) If you haven’t yet danced with DJ… wait, make that She-Jay Queen Mookie, at her monthly night at Pony, you are missing some serious magic. Every second Saturday of the month, Seattle’s best little flower-shop-turned-punk-rock-queer-bar is transformed into a high-glamour, transcendental gender feast—an eclectic party that sounds and looks like it was born in a city like Tokyo or Berlin. Expect future drag—sans tacky suburban-mom wigs and fake tits—and a well-curated collection of late-’80s acid, early-’90s techno, disco that doesn’t suck, contemporary electro and hiphop, and, according to the Queen herself, “a pinch of bitchy cunt tracks.” Also sayeth the Mookie: “It is my duty as a disco shaman to be an example of frivolity elevated to a spiritual level.” Trust me, after this shaman touches YOUR glitoris, you will be elevated to a whole new level, too. KELLY O

Saturday 7/13

Sub Pop’s Silver Jubilee: Mudhoney, Built to Spill, J. Mascis, Shabazz Palaces (Georgetown) See preview, page 37, Sound Check, page 45, and Data Breaker, page 55.

Dead Prez

(Studio Seven) M-1 and stic.man are responsible for some of the purest, most uncompromising, most revolutionary (but gangsta) hiphop music ever made. But their 2012 release, Information Age features Dead Prez taking a crack at the strange amalgamation that modern rap has become, spitting watered-down messages over weirdly upbeat pop-synth beats, and even singing in Auto-Tune over 808/hi-hat-ridden “trap”-style production. And while chastising rappers for abandoning “real hiphop” for a more multifaceted, adventurous approach is more played out than pitched snare rolls, Information Age falls flat, and sounds like old heads playing catch-up rather than a true experimental stylistic evolution. With any luck, the set list will be short on the new stuff. MIKE RAMOS

Autopsy, Black Breath, Scolex, Bone Sickness

(Neumos) It didn’t take long for the harsh and unrefined assault of early American death-metal acts like Massacre, Repulsion, and Autopsy to be over-

shadowed by their virtuosic underlings in bands like Cannibal Corpse and Morbid Angel. Twenty years later, death metal is more technical and polished than ever, with everything Pro-Tooled into a sterilized mechanical frenzy of triggered double kick drums and Axe-Fxed guitar shredding. It makes one thankful for the reemergence of Autopsy’s unbridled, unsophisticated, and unrelenting brutality. Strange that the show isn’t at the Highline or Studio Seven or any of Seattle’s other typical metal havens. But perhaps it’s fitting for Autopsy to remind us of death metal’s original ugliness by unleashing it here tonight. BRIAN COOK

Shelby Earl, Mikey and Matty, Courtney Marie Andrews (Columbia City Theater) On “Grown Up Things,” the third song on Shelby Earl’s new album, Swift Arrows (out July 23), Earl sings, threateningly, “And that terrible secret/No one will believe it/That terrible, terrible secret/It’s yours, so you’d better keep it.” The way she commandingly cries out that last line gives me chills each time I hear it. Throughout the album, Earl sings through emotions we’ve all felt at some point in our lives—and will probably experience again. On “Sea of Glass,” the chorus is “Let it hurt, just make it last.” On the delicate, airy ballad “Forget You Ever Wondered,” Earl lightly sings, “You will turn yourself inside out/Looking for a way to blame me/But in the end when you are whole again/You will find a way to thank me.” It almost makes me want to battle heartbreak, now that I know I’d have the perfect healing soundtrack. Almost. MEGAN SELING

Sunday 7/14

Neil Hamburger, Tim Heidecker (Crocodile) Have you seen that movie The Comedy? It has moments of baffling slowness, the pacing is all fucked up, and it really doesn’t make a lick of sense. It also has eight or nine individual scenes that made me laugh so hard that red-hot tears rolled from my eyes. One of those scenes is Tim Heidecker and comedian/musician Gregg Turkington, aka Neil Hamburger, casually discussing “hobo sex”—more specifically, the state of penises of homeless hoboes. It’s rotten, uncomfortable, and oh-so-funny. These two are the Kings of Uncomfortable and the Masters of Deadpan Humor. There’ll be comedy, music, and probably some freaky video. Expect to cry laughing, and feel a little guilty about it, too.

KELLY O

Monday 7/15

Jimmy Eat World, X

week as Rancid—I have a similar relationship with both bands. Like Rancid, Jimmy Eat World have crafted records that are perfect (Clarity and their 2001 self-titled release, aka Bleed American). I always thought the band went to shit, starting with 2004’s Futures, but only recently did I realize how wrong I was. It wasn’t the band—it was me. Re-listening to their post-self-titled albums, with which I admittedly never spent that much time in the first place, JEW never shifted too far from their roots. I was holding them up to impossible standards, expecting them to recapture not just the sounds of my youth, but also all the feelings I had when I was listening to those songs. Sorry, Jimmy Eat World, for being such a jerk. It wasn’t you, it was me. But fuck if “The Middle” still doesn’t make me shake my ass with glee every time I hear it. MEGAN SELING

Tuesday 7/16

Stillsuit, Deathdrive, Dogjaw, Childbirth (Heartland) See Underage, page 56.

Iron Lung, Needles, Stoic Violence, Manipulation (Black Lodge) See Underage, page 56.

Josh Deutsch Quartet (Royal Room) Deutsch is a trumpeter and composer who currently lives in NYC but was trained in our public school system—he learned the trumpet at Washington Middle School and Garfield High School. His advanced education in music, however, was obtained from the old and very noble New England Conservatory of Music in Boston. Deutsch is an intellectual; he really does know a lot about music. As a consequence, those who attend his show tonight will be exposed to the more serious (but not unmusical—Deutsch does not make noise) side of jazz performance and composition.

CHARLES MUDEDE

Shugo Tokumaru, Tara Jane O’Neil (Sunset) Tara Jane O’Neil earned accolades for her bass and vocal work in the Slint-onic post-hardcore band Rodan and in folky indie-rock duo Retsin, among others. Her solo output throughout the 21st century has veered toward introspective balladry of dew-dappled beauty. On TJO’s 2011 album with Japanese vocalist Nikaido Kazumi, Tara Jane O’Neil/ Nikaido Kazumi, the twosome delicately shatters typical song forms with abstract, tangled structures and problem-child vocal oddities. Shugo Tokumaru is a Japanese multi-instrumentalist pop star who writes cute, instantly catchy songs accentuated by quirky percussion that wouldn’t ruffle the down on a baby bird.

fact: Tokumaru’s

the same

Ambassadors (Showbox Sodo) It’s an interesting coincidence that Jimmy Eat World would be playing Seattle

Oblivians Friday 7/12 at Neumos

SURPRISINGLY MOSH-WORTHY

WED 7/10

Rochat-Felix, guests, free AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm

BARBOZA Futurebirds, Diarrhea Planet, Neighbors, 8 pm, $10

CHOP SUEY Kingdom of the Holy Sun , the Triple Sixes, Fire Friend, $6

COMET Sam Vicari, Paper Machete , Mike Simmons, guests, $6 a CROCODILE Post Adolescence , the Female Fiends, 8 pm, $5

a EL CORAZON Veela, None

Like Joshua, guests, 8:45 pm, $8/$10

HIGHWAY 99 High and Lonesome, 8 pm, $6

JAZZ ALLEY Oliver Mtukudzi, 9:30 pm, $26.50

NECTAR Masta X-Kid, Tre Angle, guests, 8 pm, $7

NEW ORLEANS Legacy Band, Clarence Acox

OHANA Live Island Music

PINK DOOR Casey MacGill & the Blue 4 Trio, 8 pm

Q NIGHTCLUB All Bands on Deck: Katie Kate, free

RENDEZVOUS Dark Features, RKP, TBD

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Open Mic: Guests

STUDIO SEVEN Bow Wow

Wow, Gene Loves Jezebel, guests, 7 pm, $15/$17

SUNSET TAVERN Black Swedes, Low Hums, $6

TRACTOR TAVERN The David Mayfield Parade, $8

TRIPLE DOOR An Evening With the Fixx, 7:30 pm, $25/$30/$50

TULA’S Rick Mandyck Trio, 7:30 pm, $8

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Dmitri Matheny, free DJ

BALTIC ROOM Reverb: DJ Rome, Rozzville, Zooty B, Antartic

CAPITOL CLUB Roll Bounce: OCNotes, Spirit Fingaz, EverGrimeState, free

CONTOUR Rotation: Rotation Tryouts: Guests, guests, 10 pm, $5

THE EAGLE VJDJ Andy J

ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN

Passage: Jayms Nylon, Joey Webb, guests FOUNDATION SUBstance: Dieselboy, guests

HAVANA SoulShift: Peter Evans, Devlin Jenkins, Richard Everhard, $1

LAST SUPPER CLUB Vibe

Wednesday: Jame$Ervin, DT, Contagious

LAVA LOUNGE Mod Fuck Explosion: DJ Deutscher Meister LO-FI Signalfy Launch: Nordic Soul , WD4D

guests

MOE BAR The Hump: DJ Darwin, DJ Swervewon, guests, 10:30 pm, free

NEIGHBOURS Undergrad: Guest DJs, 18+, $5/$8

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Fade: DJ Chinkyeye, DJ Christyle, 10 pm

WILDROSE 2nd Hand: Mother Church, Pavone, free

THURS

7/11

LIVE 2 BIT SALOON Silky Sam , Radio Telescope, Bent Locomotives, 8 pm, TBD

AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm

BARBOZA Wet City Rockers, Two Story Zori, Gravity Kings, 8 pm, $10

BLUE MOON TAVERN Power Cassette, Augustus Blackheart From Gods to Monsters, $5

CAN CAN Vince Mira

CHOP SUEY Chop Suey Fest!: Irukandji Physics of Fusion, Glitterbang, Skelator, guests, 8 pm, free

“WINE TITS” AT PAT BENATAR

Pat Benatar just played a perfect show at the Chateau Ste. Michelle winery in Woodinville. Just perfect! It’s fun to see a concert at a winery. Everyone drinks ALL the wine! Lindsey drank a lot of wine. She says she doesn’t care if it’s summer, and everyone else is drinking whites, vinho verde, and/or rosé. Lindsey likes red wine. Lots of red wine. KELLY O KELLY O

COLUMBIA CITY THEATER

Whiting Tennis, Susie

Philipsen, Vibe Warrior, 8 pm, $6/$8

COMET Pentagraham

Crackers, Autumn Electric, Horace Pickett, Johnny Unicorn, $6

CONOR BYRNE Leah

Bakst, Arbaney Kittle, Lauren Oglesby, $7

COPPER GATE Fu Kun Wu

Trio, 8 pm, free

DISTRICT LOUNGE Cassia

DeMayo Quintet, 8 pm, free

a EL CORAZON The Royalty , Psychedelephant, guests, 8 pm, $8/$10; Where Angels Suffer, Mandy Lion, 8 pm, $15/$20

a GUAYMAS CANTINA

Oleaje Flamenco, 8 pm, free

HARD ROCK CAFE Annie Lockwood , 5 pm, free

HIGHWAY 99 James King & the Southsiders, 8 pm, $7

JAZZ ALLEY John Mayall, 9:30 pm, $25.50

LITTLE RED HEN

Jukehouse Hounds, $3

LUCID The Hang: Caffeine, 9:30 pm, free

THE MIX Supermother, the Dirty Deeds, Stained by a Killer, TBD

NECTAR Chicago Afrobeat Project, guests, 8 pm, $7

a NEUMOS Kingdom Crumbs, Kung Foo Grip Nu Era, Gift Uh Gab, DJ Same, 8 pm, $10

NEW ORLEANS Lonnie Williams, 8 pm, $5

PINK DOOR Bric-a-Brac, 8 pm

SCARLET TREE How Now Brown Cow , 9:30 pm, free

SEAMONSTER Klozd Sirkut, 10 pm, free

a SHOWBOX SODO Rancid, the Transplants, NOI!SE, 7:30 pm, $25/$27.50

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Shipsplosion, Hot Hoodoo, Jacob Latham, 8 pm, $6

a SMOKIN’ PETE’S BBQ Gumbo Twins, 7 pm, free

THE STEPPING STONE PUB Open Mic: Guests

STUDIO SEVEN Rootz

Underground, guests, 8:30 pm, $13/$15

SUNSET TAVERN Exohxo the Swearengens, 10 pm, $8

TRACTOR TAVERN Josh Abbott Band, William Clark Green, 8:30 pm, $16.50/$20

TRIPLE DOOR An Evening With the Fixx, 7:30 pm, $25/$30/$50

TULA’S Thomas Marriott, Joe Locke, 7:30 pm, $10

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Casey MacGill, 5:30 pm, free; Jimmie Herrod and Friends, 9 pm, free

THE WHITE RABBIT Marmalade, $6

DJ

BALLROOM DJ Rob, free

CAPITOL CLUB Citrus: DJ Skiddle

THE EAGLE Nasty: DJ King of Pants, Nark

HAVANA Sophisticated

Mama: DJ Sad Bastard, DJ Nitty Gritty

LAST SUPPER CLUB Open House: Guests

LAVA LOUNGE Rock DJs: Guests

MOE BAR Saucy: DJ

Rad’em, DJ 100 Proof, free

NEIGHBOURS Jet Set Thursdays: Guest DJs

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND The Lowdown: DJ Lightray, $3

OHANA Chill: DJ MS

SEE SOUND LOUNGE

Damn Son: DJ Flave, Sativa

Sound System, Jameson

Just, Tony Goods, $5 after 10:30 pm

THERAPY LOUNGE

DUH.: DJ Omar, guests

TRINITY Space Thursdays: Rise Over Run, DJ Christyle, Johnny Fever, DJ Nicon,

WEDNESDAY 7/10 BLACK SWEDES LOW HUMS AND GUESTS

$6 • 9PM

THURSDAY 7/11

EXOHXO AND THE SWEARENGENS

$8 • 10PM

FRIDAY 7/12

SKELATOR

CURSE OF THE NORTH AND NOISE-A-TRON

$8 • 9:30PM

SATURDAY 7/13

SEAFOOD FEST SUPERHERO AFTER PARTY WITH: REWIND

$10 • 10PM

SUNDAY 7/14

TAKE WARNING PRESENTS: DAVE HILLYARD & THE ROCKSTEADY 7 GEORGETOWN ORBITS

$8 ADV • 8PM

MONDAY 7/15

KUNG FU GRINDHOUSE FREE • 7PM

JENNINGS

Sean Majors, B Geezy, guests, free

FRI

7/12

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Them Bones and the Bootleggers, Johnny Hoffman & The Residents, Mike Simmons, TBD

AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm

BARBOZA Modern Kin, guests, 8 pm, $7

BLUE MOON TAVERN Yeah Girl, White Metal Rabbit, 9:30 pm, $6

CAFE RACER Lonesome Shack , free

CHOP SUEY Nightmare Air, Happy Hollows, Vibragun, $8

CONOR BYRNE The Shilohs, Mariko Ruhle, Hooves & Beak, $7

CROCODILE The Crying Spell, Peace Mercutio, 8 pm, $10

DARRELL’S TAVERN Radio Shark, QMP, Stitch in Time, $7

a EL CORAZON

Deafheaven, Marriages, Heiress, 8 pm, $10/$12, Mixtapes, You Blew It!, Light Years, guests, 8 pm, $10/$12

FOUNDATION Adrian Lux, guests a GROUND ZERO

(BELLEVUE) Tom Nook, Falconer, Allium, New Lungs , Can the Boy Tell Time, $5/$6

HIGH DIVE The Heligoats, Ark Life, Ten Speed, Dillon Warnek & the Dismal Tide, $8 HIGHWAY 99 Doctorfunk 8 pm, $15

JAZZ ALLEY John Mayall, 9:30 pm, $25.50

KELL’S Cu Lan Ti, free

LITTLE RED HEN Marlin

James Band, $5 THE MIX Yo Zomby, Poverty Bay, Ideofone, $8

NECTAR The Motet, Polyrhythmics, 8 pm, $10

NEUMOS Oblivians, the Fucking Eagles , Dude York, 8 pm, $15

NEW ORLEANS The Charles Mack Band, free OWL N’ THISTLE Piper Stock Hill, free

PARAGON Levi Said, free

RAVIOLI STATION

TRAINWRECK Dizzy, guests a THE ROYAL ROOM The Bushwick Book Club Presents Music Inspired by The Adentures of Huckleberry Finn: Piano Royale, 5:30 and 8:30 pm, free

SEAMONSTER Funky 2 Death, 10 pm, free a SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Mickey Avalon, 8:30 pm, $17.50/$20 a SHOWBOX SODO Rancid, the Transplants, the Interrupters, 7:30 pm, $25/$27.50

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Exohxo , Bright White Lightning, 8 pm, $7

SLIM’S LAST CHANCE

Andrea Peterman, Los Cabos Locos, free

SUNSET TAVERN Skelator, Curse of the North , Noisea-tron, 9:30 pm, $8

TRACTOR TAVERN Future

Bible Heroes, Luxury Liners, 9:30 pm, $15

TRIPLE DOOR Ian McLagan, 8 pm, $15/$20

TULA’S Matt Jorgensen Quintet, guests, 7:30 pm, $15

a VERA PROJECT Nude Pop, the Fame Riot, Special Explosion, Vervex, 7:30 pm, $7/$8

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Casey MacGill, 8

pm, free THE WHITE RABBIT Verdant Mile, Human Animation Lab, Signal Flags, Scarlet Stoic, $6

DJ 95 SLIDE DJ Fever One

BALLROOM DJ Tamm of KISS fm

BALMAR Body Movin’ Fridays: DJ Ben Meadow, free

BALTIC ROOM Bump Fridays: Guest DJs

BARBOZA Just Got Paid:

100proof, $5 after 11:30 pm

CAPITOL CLUB Neoplastic: Marcus G, Jay Battle, DJ Shorthand, free

CENTURY BALLROOM Century Tango: DJ Anton, 9 pm, $10

CONTOUR Afterhours, 2 am

CUFF C&W Dancing: DJ

Harmonix, DJ Stacey, 7 pm; TGIF: Guest DJs, 11 pm, $5

ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN

Digging Deep: Ramiro, Jeromy Nail, Derrick

Deepvibez

FUEL DJ Headache, guests

HAVANA Rotating DJs: DV One, Soul One, Curtis, Nostalgia B, Sean Cee, $5

LAST SUPPER CLUB Madness: Guests

LAVA LOUNGE DJ David

James

LO-FI Brenmar, Self Evident, Novatron, guests, $10

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND Caliente

Celebra: DJ Polo, Efren

OHANA Back to the Day: DJ Estylz

PONY Glitoris: Queen Mookie, Devil Eyes, free Q NIGHTCLUB Francois K, Karl Kamakahi, Wesley Holmes, $15

SCARLET TREE Oh So Fresh Fridays: Deejay Tone, DJ Buttnaked, guests

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Crush:

Guest DJs, free

TRINITY Tyler, DJ Phase, DJ Nug, guests, $10

WILDROSE Lezbro: L.A.

Kendall, Tony Burns, 9 pm, $3

THE WOODS Deep/Funky/

Disco/House: Guest DJs

SAT 7/13

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Jaguar Paw, Klaw, Daughters of the Dead Sea, TBD

AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm

BARBOZA Whitney Lyman, Bone Cave Ballet , By Sunlight , 7 pm, $8

BLUE MOON TAVERN The Hunting Club, West Coast Improvement Company, Puget Power, 9:30 pm, $6

CAFE RACER The Flying Tortugas, John Gold, free a CAIRO Secret Colors, Appendixes, the Wills, 8 pm

CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE

Chris Botti, 7 pm, $39.50$49.50

CHOP SUEY Eddie Spaghetti, $10

COLUMBIA CITY

THEATER Shelby Earl, Matty and Mikey, Courtney Marie Andrews, 8 pm, $10/$12

COMET Down North , AKA & the Heart Hurt Goods, Shivering Timbers, China Davis, Not From Brooklyn, 4 pm, $5

a CROCODILE Passenger, 8 pm, $15

DARRELL’S TAVERN The Guardian, Dissonati, the Of, $6

EL CORAZON Idols, guests, 6:30 pm, $10/$12

ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN

Drop: Phil Western, Manos,

BY DAVE SEGAL

WEDNESDAY 7/10

MINGLE WITH THE EDM ELITE AT THE SIGNALFY LAUNCH

Signalfy touts itself as “Your Source for Electronic Events and Festivals.” The site is launching tonight in Seattle with a party, in hopes of luring industry folks and beats-lovin’ civilians to celebrate “the diverse and impressive talent of the SEA electronic music community”—and to promote its brand, of course. (The open bar from 7:30 to 8:30 provides extra incentive for you to go. For some reason, $10 haircuts are being offered, too.) As for the “diverse and impressive talent” part, the bill features Miss Shelrawka, Michael Manahan, EVA, WD4D, Nordic Soul (aka Decibel founder Sean Horton), J-Sun vs. Kadeejah Streets, and Pressha. A solid night of eclectic, electronic music (and primo networking opportunities) awaits you. Go to signalfy.com for more info. Lo-Fi Performance Gallery, 7 pm, free, 21+.

FRIDAY 7/12

FRANÇOIS K TAKES DUBBY TECHNO INTO DEEP SPACE

Whoa, it’s the legendary François Kevorkian, the 59-year-old NYC-based French DJ/producer/remixer who’s been rocking decks and studio consoles since 1977. As a producer, Mr. K’s a master of dubby techno that deftly balances the earthy with the spacey, solo and with Rob Rives and Cosmic Twins (with Derrick May). Over the last 10 years, François’s been the resident DJ of Deep Space NYC, a weekly night dedicated to dub and its myriad manifestations in techno, disco, house, hiphop, and drum ’n’ bass. Great concept. This booking is a rare treat. With Karl Kamakahi and Wesley Holmes Q Nightclub, 9 pm, $15, 21+.

clipping.

SATURDAY 7/13

HIPHOP RENEGADES CLIPPING. DIRTY UP THE SUB POP JUBILEE

Against great odds, Sub Pop Records has turned 25. To commemorate this landmark occasion, the massive Seattle indie label is throwing a big ol’ street party in Georgetown featuring many of their established and new artists. While most will be sweating through their LOSER T-shirts over Mudhoney, Built to Spill, METZ, Tad’s Brothers of the Sonic Cloth, and J. Mascis (all of whom are very worthy), I’m most excited about the freshly signed clipping. On their most recent album, midcity, the LA trio combines raunchy, surreal street flows with equally bizarre productions that have more in common with the noise underground than typical underground/backpack boom-bap. Clipping. make some of the most radical, abrasive hiphop this side of Dälek, Antipop Consortium, cLOUDDEAD, and our own Shabazz Palaces (who are also playing this thing). Look for clipping.’s Sub Pop debut next year. Georgetown, between Corson Ave S and 13th Ave S, 10 am–11 pm, free, all ages.

CRISTOPHER CICHOCKI

MOSHE KASHER

7/10 SIGNALFY INDUSTRY LAUNCH EVENT 7/12 BRENMAR (NYC), SELF EVIDENT, NOVATRON, SHAPESHIFTER & MORE 7/13 EMERALD CITY SOUL CLUB 7/16 STOP BITING 7/19 THE SWEARENGENS, GIBRALTAR, SHAKE SOME ACTION 7/20 SNAP! 90S PARTY W/ THE TRASHY TRASH DJS + GUESTS

Kadeejah Streets, Rhines, Night Train, $10 after 10:30

pm a GEORGETOWN

Sub Pop’s Silver Jubilee: Mudhoney, Built To Spill, J Mascis, Shabazz Palaces with THEESatisfaction, Pissed Jeans, Brothers of the Sonic Cloth, Father John Misty, Greg Dulli, King Tuff, guests, free

HARD ROCK CAFE Blackline , Leona X, Headswell, $8/$12

HIGH DIVE The Jesus Rehab , the Great Um, Robb Benson, the Royal We, $8

HIGHWAY 99 Duffy Bishop Band, 8 pm, $16

JAZZ ALLEY John Mayall, 9:30 pm, $25.50

KELL’S Cu Lan Ti, free THE KRAKEN BAR & LOUNGE Steelhorse, Danger Death Ray, Honey Badger, HellGod, $5

LITTLE RED HEN Marlin James Band, $5 LUCID Monkey Bat, free a NEUMOS Autopsy, Black Breath, Scolex, Bone Sickness, $18/$20

NEW ORLEANS Armed & Dangerous Blues Revue, 9:30 pm, free

PARAGON Solbird, free QUEEN CITY GRILL Faith Beattie, Bayly, Totusek, Guity, free

RENDEZVOUS Wren, 10 pm, $7

a THE ROYAL ROOM Mutha Knows Best, free

SEAMONSTER Felas Kooties, 10 pm, free

a SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Eclectic Approach, Hot Bodies in Motion, Ben Union, James Redfern, 8:30 pm, $12.50/$15

a SHOWBOX SODO Katchafire, J. Boog, 8:30 pm, $30/$35

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Strangely Alright , the Rallies , Human Animation Lab, 8 pm, $7

a STUDIO SEVEN Dead

Prez, guests, 8 pm, $15/$18

TIM’S TAVERN Hive Mind

Collective, free

TRACTOR TAVERN Knut

Bell & the Blue Collars, Ole Tinder, Evening Bell, 9:30 pm, $7

TRIPLE DOOR Commander Cody, 8 pm, $17/$20

TULA’S Susan Pascal Quartet, 7:30 pm, $15

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Ruby Bishop, 6 pm; The Christian Eckert Quartet, 9:30 pm, free

THE WHITE RABBIT Hellephant, Beast of the Sky, Izalith, $6 DJ

BALLROOM DJ Warren

BALTIC ROOM Good Saturdays: Guest DJs

BARBOZA Inferno: Guests, 10:30 pm, free before 11:30 pm/$5 after CAPITOL CLUB Get Physical: DJ Edis, DJ Paycheck, 10 pm, free

CONTOUR Europa Night: Misha Grin, Gil

CUFF Sensorium: DJ Almond Brown

FOUNDATION Progression: Alex M.O.R.P.H.

HAVANA Rotating DJs:

DV One, Soul One, Curtis, Nostalgia B, Sean Cee, $5

HEARTLAND CAFE & BENBOW ROOM

Candylandia: DJ Cotton Candy, DJ Christophett, DJ Deep Parris, free

LAVA LOUNGE DJ Matt LO-FI Emerald City Soul Club: Kenny Mac, Gene Balk, Marc Muller, Alvin Mangosing, Mike Chrietzberg, Brian Everett, George Gell, Mike

“The Runaways Weren’t the First All-Girl Punk Band” Nipper, 9 pm, $10

THURSDAY

7/11

MOE BAR Panther Down: DJ

N8, Anthony Diamond, free

NECTAR Bollygrooves:

Bollygrooves: DJ Anashul, guests, $10, DJ Anashul, 8 pm, $10

NEIGHBOURS Powermix: DJ Randy Schlager

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND Club

Vogue: DJ Chance, DJ Eternal Darkness

OHANA Funk House: DJ Bean One

PONY Glitoris: Queen Mookie, Devil Eyes: SEE SOUND LOUNGE Guest DJs

TRINITY ((SUB)): Guy, VSOP, Jason Lemaitre, guests, $15/free before 10 pm

VERMILLION Flux: DJ Res , guests, free THE WOODS Hiphop/R&B/ Funk/Soul/Disco: Guest DJs

SUN

7/14

LIVE AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm

BARBOZA Lures, Scarves, 8 pm, $7

CAFE RACER The Racer Sessions

CHOP SUEY Accidental Bear Tour: Logan Lynn, Conquistador, Big Dipper, guests, 7 pm, $15

COMET The Lotus Vellum, Muscle and Marrow, Sundries, Goodbye Heart, 9 pm, $6

CONOR BYRNE Open Mic: Guests, 8 pm

CROCODILE Neil Hamburger, Tim Heidecker

EL CORAZON Two Heads Is Twice As Many Teeth , $6/$8

HIGH DIVE Thunder Bird, the Blind Photographers, the Lucky Strikes, 8 pm, $6

BY ADRIAN RYAN

HERO WORSHIP WORSHIPS SIOUXSIE

I make no secret of the fact that Pony is my favorite geigh bar in Seattle—possibly in the whole damn geigh world. It’s a matter of public record. (And of my DNA splattered all over the walls, floor, the infamous loo clown, the ceiling, that one poor guy…) But did you know they also do some of my favorite themed events? True fact! Frequently, the Pony boys combine their creativity and singular obsessions to devise and produce rather amazingly fun events. EXAMPLES! Beefcake, which celebrates retro male nudity in clever ways; Glitoris, which celebrates every second Saturday with live music and sexiness; and, more to the point, Hero Worship, our feature event this week, which celebrates obsession with music and musical artists. Jack Caton, aka Dee Jay Jack, created Hero Worship. He explains, “You know what a truly fanatical fan I am in the music-nerd department—I created Hero Worship as a way to pay homage to my faves: Grace Jones, Morrissey, Debbie Harry, the B-52s. Siouxsie I’ve idolized since the fifth grade. We’re going to have all the side projects, remixes, hits, covers, influences, posters, and video montages we can fit in five hours. Essentially, my tween dream come true!” Yeah. Right. Like YOURS AND EVERYONE ELSE’S, lady! With Dee Jay Jack (duh) and DJ K-Kost (Kyle Kostrzewa)! Pony, 9 pm, free, 21+.

SATURDAY 7/13

CHERDONNA AND LOU

Fresh from the ensemble cast of Freedom Fantasia (which you now understand was every drop as spectacular as I said it

HIGHLINE Weedeater, ASG, guests, $13

JAI THAI BROADWAY Rock

Bottom Soundsystem, free

JAZZ ALLEY John Mayall, 7:30 pm, $25.50

KELL’S Liam Gallagher

LITTLE RED HEN Open Mic

Acoustic Jam with Bodacious

Billy: Guests, 4 pm; Marlin

James Band, 8 pm, $5

NECTAR Ceschi, Graves 33, Onry Ozzborn, guests, 8 pm, $7

PIES & PINTS Sunday Night

Folk Review: Guests, free RENDEZVOUS Skunk Rider , Crimson Field, Godzillian, Dynamite Nugget, TBD a SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Holly Figueroa, 8 pm, free SNOQUALMIE CASINO

Kenny Loggins, 7 pm, $35.55/$68.60

a STUDIO SEVEN Gorilla Battle of the Bands: Guests, 6 pm, free

SUNSET TAVERN David Hillyard and the Rocksteady 7, Georgetown Orbits, 8 pm, $8/$10

TIM’S TAVERN Burn Band, 8 pm, free

TRIPLE DOOR Kirby Krackle, the Doubleclicks, 8 pm, $15

TULA’S Jazz Police Big Band, 3 pm, $5, Jim Cutler Jazz Orchestra, 8 pm, $8

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Ruby Bishop, 6 pm; The Ron Weinstein Trio, 9:30 pm

DJ

BALTIC ROOM Mass: Guest DJs

CAPITOL CLUB Island Style:

DJ Bookem, DJ Fentar

CONTOUR Broken Grooves:

DJ Venus, Rob Cravens, guests, free

THE EAGLE T-Bar/T-Dance:

Up Above, Fistfight, free a FULL TILT ICE CREAM

Vinyl Appreciation Night:

was going to be), come our good friends Cherdonna and Lou. As you know (or should, god damn it) they are Cherdonna Shinatra and Lou Henry Hoover, the dance performers nonpareil known together as the Cherdonna and Lou Show, which is like nothing else and everything good: unique and energetic, violent and frenetic (in a delightfully campy way), colorful and fun and engaging and downright astonishing in its athleticism and esthétique. Their new offering, My Obviously Unsuccessful Lifestyle, shall feature all of the above, plus a small ensemble of characters and local celebrities as yet to be announced. (But I bet you can guess one or two if you try real hard.)

You’ve seen Cherdonna and Lou dance together, sync together, stab each other with knives, break bottles over each other’s heads, break their heads over the other’s head, and wrestle each other in and out and back into the ground. The time has come for the band of two to break up to pursue solo careers. My Obviously Unsuccessful Lifestyle is a celebration of their partnership, a swan song, and an opportunity for the pair to try to shove all the ideas that haven’t fit into any of their other evening-length works or numerous short acts into one cohesive show. While this is the last evening-length work the Cherdonna and Lou Show is presenting in the foreseeable future, the duo will continue to appear by request and as part of such theatrical productions as DeLouRue’s FREEDOM FANTASIA and Homo for the Holidays! My Obviously Unsuccessful Lifestyle was developed with support from the Seattle Mayor’s Office of Arts & Culture. Velocity Dance Center, 8 pm, $18, all ages, also Sun June 14.

FRIDAY

WEDNESDAY

FRIDAY

BLOOD, WESTERN HAUNTS (ALBUM RELEASE PARTY)

$11 ($10 W. CLUB CARD)

Guest DJs, 7 pm

LAVA LOUNGE No Come Down: Jimi Crash

LO-FI Benoît Pioulard, Logreybeam, Zachary Gray

MOE BAR Chocolate Sundays: Sosa, MarsONE, Phosho, free

NEIGHBOURS Noche Latina: Guest DJs PONY TeaDance: DJ El Toro, Freddy King of Pants, 4 pm

Q NIGHTCLUB Revival: Riz Rollins, Chris Tower, 3 pm, free

RE-BAR Flammable: DJ Wesley Holmes, 9 pm

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Salsa: DJ Nick

THE STEPPING STONE PUB

Vinyl Night: You bring your records, they play them

MON

7/15

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Crimson Field, Nordus, $5

AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Jerry Frank

BLUE MOON TAVERN Andy Coe Band, free CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE Counting Crows, the Wallflowers, 6:30 pm, $56/$90.50

COASTAL KITCHEN Pork Chop Trio, 9:30 pm, free

COMET Infinite Flux, Mad Mardigan, guests, $5

EL CORAZON Gunsafe, the Bitter Main, 8:30 pm, $6/$8

JAZZ ALLEY Albert Lee, 7:30 pm, $26.50

NEW ORLEANS The New Orleans Quintet, 6:30 pm THE ROYAL ROOM The Royal Room Collective Music Ensemble, free

SEAMONSTER Monday Night

Open Mic: 10 pm

a SHOWBOX SODO Jimmy Eat World, 7 pm, $25/$28

TRACTOR TAVERN the Tallboys , 7:30 pm, $5

TRIPLE DOOR

Musicquarium: Free Funk Union, free

TULA’S Microsoft Jumping Jive Orchestra, 7:30 pm, $5

THE WHITE RABBIT Michael Shrieve’s Spellbinder, $6

DJ

BALTIC ROOM Jam Jam: Zion’s Gate Sound, $5

BARBOZA Minted: Icon Mondays: Sean Majors, guests, free, DJ Swervewon, 100proof, Sean Cee, Blueyedsoul, free

CAPITOL CLUB The Jet Set: DJ Swervewon, 100 Proof

COMPANY BAR Rock and Roll Chess Night: DJ Plantkiller, 8 pm, free CONOR BYRNE Get the Spins: Guest DJs, free HAVANA Manic Mondays: DJ Jay Battle, free THE HIDEOUT Introcut, guests, free LAVA LOUNGE Psych/Blues: Bobby Malvestuto

LO-FI Jam Jam: Zion’s Gate, Sound Selecta, Element, Mista Chatman , $5

TUES 7/16

LIVE

AQUA BY EL GAUCHO Ben Fleck, 6 pm

BARBOZA California Wives, 8 pm, $10

a BLACK LODGE Iron Lung, Needles, Stoic Violence, Manipulation

CHOP SUEY English Gardens, Blyss, General Mojo’s Key Project, $6 CONOR BYRNE Ol’ Time Social: The Tallboys , 9 pm

COPPER GATE The Suffering Fuckheads , 8 pm, free

a EL CORAZON Hookers

Made Out Of Cocaine, $8/$10; Seize the Sun, Love the Lost, 7:30 pm, $8/$10

ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN Monktail Creative Music Concern, DJ Shonuph, free a HEARTLAND Stillsuit, Deathdrive, Dogjaw, 8 pm, free

HIGH DIVE Cryptobebelem, the Willed, 8 pm, $6 JAZZ ALLEY The Grandmothers of Invention, 7:30 pm, $25.50

KELL’S Liam Gallagher

MAC’S TRIANGLE PUB Open Mic: free THE MIX Jazz Night: Don Mock, Steve Kim, Jacques Willis, 8 pm NECTAR Service Animal , Water District, the Chris Klimecky Band, 8 pm, $5

KELL’S Liam Gallagher

MAC’S TRIANGLE PUB Jazz and Blues Night: Guests, free MOLLY MAGUIRES Open Mic: Hosted by Tom Rooney, free

NECTAR Jonathan Warren and the Billy Goats, guests, 7 pm, $5

THE MIX Bring Your Own Vinyl Night: Guests, 6 pm MOE BAR Minted Mondays: DJ Swervewon, 100proof, Sean Cee, Blueyedsoul, free NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND SIN: DJ Keanu, 18+, free OHANA DJ Hideki PONY Dirty Deeds: Guest DJs

Q NIGHTCLUB Reflect, 8 pm, free

TUESDAY 7/16

OUTWEST Wine and Jazz Night: Tutu Jazz Quartet, free OWL N’ THISTLE Jazz Improv Night: Guests

RENDEZVOUS Roem Baur, Little Brave, Tyler Stenson, $7/$12

BY BRITTNIE FULLER

STILLSUIT, DEATHDRIVE, DOGJAW, CHILDBIRTH

IRON LUNG, NEEDLES, MANIPULATION, STOIC VIOLENCE

This Tuesday night is surprisingly mosh-worthy, with at least one show promising to delightfully alienate your eardrums. Two-piece grindcore deities Iron Lung headline a night of calculated havoc. Their bottom-heavy, craftily discordant arrangements place Iron Lung above the rest in a generally cluttered and samey hardcore landscape. Powerful disorder reigns with their strippeddown and merciless riffage; don’t miss it. Touring from the Bay Area, Needles (featuring members of Los Crudos, Limp Wrist, and a half-dozen other punk notables) will also distress those seeking an easy listen. Their third EP, Desesperación (Iron Lung Records), is furious, ’80s-inspired hardcore. With their lightning-paced, gnarled power-violence, Needles grind out a worthwhile sonic hellscape. Chicago’s Manipulation add even more brutality to this bill; the first track on one of their EPs is called “Subversive Intent,” which also offers a proper introduction to their sound. The night of aural assassination is rounded off with Stoic Violence, whose hatcheted frequencies are at continuous risk for internal bleeding. Come armed with earplugs! Black Lodge, 8 pm.

On this quality bill of a more varied punk persuasion, Olympia riot witches Dogjaw recall ’90s grrrls at their most rabblerousing. Released earlier this year, their split with Seattle queercore favorites Agatha could have been released in Olympia 20 years ago, and that is entirely complimentary. Adding to the female-powered evening, Oakland-based post-punk band Stillsuit’s skronk ’n’ roll will cause uncontrollable serotonin spikes in those with a penchant for punishment, and likely frighten those attracted to more con-

ventional sounds. If lopsided no-wave christened with Ari Up–style vocals and off-kilter rhythmic panache is what you crave, it would be wise to catch this set. It’s a zero-filler sort of night, also with raucous Bay Area hardcore from Deathdrive and new Seattle supergroup Childbirth, featuring members of Pony Time, Chastity Belt, and Tacocat. Heartland, 8 pm.

Needles

FILM

The Man Whose Heart Was Broken by a Terrorist

BY CHARLES MUDEDE

The Attack is like the planet in Star Wars that has two suns. One sun appears 20 or so minutes into the film, the second 10 minutes before the film’s end. Both suns are composed of urban

sequences. The first begins with a Tel Aviv tower bathed in morning light; we then see trees, streetlights, the slick face of another corporate tower, utility poles, and the fall and rise of power lines. We see all of this from the windows of a police car that’s transporting an Arab doctor, Amin Jaafari (Ali Suliman), to his posh apartment, which is being searched for evidence. We see the doctor’s face, and it tells us only one thing: He can’t believe his stable and safe world has been turned upside down so suddenly and permanently. The night before, he was receiving an award for excellence in

That Buzzing Sound

his profession; this morning, his beautiful, educated, and wealthy wife, Siham Jaafari (Reymonde Amsellem), is suspected of being the suicide bomber who murdered innocent women and children in a Tel Aviv restaurant. On the passenger side of the front seat is a badass and beefy Israel Security agent. He has a bald head. The sunlight is on his grim face. His eyes tell us only one thing: He is going to get to the bottom of this crime, no matter what it takes.

The second sun begins with Nablus, a West Bank city that’s in a narrow valley between two mountains. (According to Wikipedia, Nablus is located 26 miles east of Tel Aviv.)

The Arab doctor is walking on the mountainside just after meeting with a spiritual leader who may or may not have persuaded Siham to commit the crime—the spiritual leader says he had nothing to do with it, but nevertheless he is proud of Siham and, like most of the citizens of Nablus, sees her as a martyr. As the doctor walks, the morning light grows on the awakening streets, homes, markets, and office buildings of the dry city. The doctor stops, gets lost in his thoughts, and then sees a truck parked on a dirt road. Inside the truck sits the man (the doctor’s nephew) who will provide him with the answers he is looking for; finally, he will know why his wife committed mass murder, and why she never told him that she was a member of a terrorist cell.

Director Ziad Doueiri, who is Lebanese, worked as a camera assistant on several of Quentin Tarantino’s early films, and is famous for shooting one of the most erotic (handjob) vélomoteur (motorized bicycle) scenes in the history of French cinema (Lila Says). The Attack is moody and beautiful, has a gorgeous Hollywood-ish score, and, in terms of the story, makes no effort to find easy answers to the Israeli/Palestinian conflict. The only thing that everyone can agree on is that the doctor’s heart has been broken. And so Palestinian terrorism, Israeli militarism, the economic hardships of the Arabs, the global capitalist splendor of Tel Aviv, the liberal agenda to find common ground, the conservative agenda to escalate force—not one of these concerns or political/economic spaces is expanded into the film’s dominant message. Each is suspended in the gloomy sea of the doctor’s heartbreak.

Comment on these reviews at THESTRANGER.COM/FILM

Switzerland, California, China, and Australia to see what’s happening and to determine why bees are disappearing.

The film begins with a vague buzzing sound that coalesces into a bee colony and the birth of a queen. The cinematography inside of the hive is wonderful: You can see the fur on each bee, bees working, bees communicating. Some scientists are studying hives as superorganisms—with each bee having a role and subordinating its individual needs for the benefit of the colony. Even the honeycomb itself is part of the system, transmitting information on the overall health of the hive to the bees’ receptors.

9:50* Sun: (1:35), (4:45), 7:10*, 9:30* Mon: (1:35), (4:45)*, 7:10*, 9:30* Tue: (1:35), (4:45)*, 7:10*^, 9:30* THE LONE RANGER (PG-13) ENDS TUES, 7/16 Fri: (1:20)*, (3:50), 7:00, 10:05 Sat: (1:20)*, (3:50), 7:00* Sun: (1:20)*, 7:00, 10:05 Mon: (1:20)*, (3:50), 7:00, 10:05 Tue: (1:20)*, (3:50), 7:00^, 10:05 THE HEAT (R) NOW PLAYING Wed & Thu: (1:45)*, (4:35)*, 7:20*, 10:00* Fri Mon: (1:45)*, (4:35)*, 7:20*, 10:00* Tue: (1:45)*, (4:35)*, 7:20*^, 10:00*

BY GILLIAN ANDERSON

Agentleman in the Alps tends his bees the old-school way, waxing poetic about what bees do and keeping his hives in a special bee chalet. At a ginormous commercial beekeeping operation in the United States, adapted to industrialized agriculture, bees must be trucked in to pollinate

miles-wide monoculture crops. In regions of China, they use so many chemicals that the bees have died out, and fruit tree blossoms must be pollinated by hand by humans. In More Than Honey, Swiss filmmaker Markus Imhoof sets out to look at the current state of the honeybee, traveling to

More Than Honey covers the gamut: part family reminiscence, part close-up examination of bee culture and physiology, part report on modern-day beekeeping, part scientific bee study, part philosophical musing on industrial culture.

It’s remarkable what bees give us; onethird of what we eat wouldn’t exist without bees. The filmmaker reflects: “The plants are rooted to the ground—they can’t run across the field and hug each other. They can’t have children on their own. What they need is a messenger of love: a bee.” This film made me want to drop everything and devote my life to beekeeping.

THE ATTACK Love in a time of terror.

MORE THAN HONEY Baby, I got your honey.

FILM SHORTS

More reviews and movie times: thestranger.com/film

LIMITED RUN

BENNY & JOON

“Some cultures are defined by their relationship to cheese.” Central Cinema, Fri, Sun-Tues 7 pm.

BOOGIE NIGHTS

The most exciting parts of the ‘70s were porn and shoes. Luckily, those two organisms mated to produce a complex eukaryotic movie-child about Dirk Diggler’s beautiful shoe choices as he rose through the porn industry. Central Cinema, Fri, Sun-Tues 9:30 pm.

CARLITO’S WAY

“I gotta do this, just this one thing, and then I’m out.” Grand Illusion, Thurs July 11 at 6:30 pm.

CZECH THAT FILM Eight selected films from contemporary Czech cinema, including Alois Nebel Made in Ash, and Gypsy SIFF Cinema Uptown, Fri-Sun. For complete schedule and showtimes, see siff.net.

DAZED & CONFUSED

“That’s what I like about these high-school girls—I keep getting older, they stay the same age.” Harvard Exit, Tues July 16 at 7 pm.

DUMB & DUMBER Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels, dumb, dumber. Fremont Outdoor Cinema, Sat July 13 at dusk.

THE GIFTS OF GRIEF

A short documentary about the strength that can be gained from pain, loss, and sadness. Keystone Church, Fri July 12 at 7 pm

KNOWS MEXICAN COPS TAKE BRIBES!! WE GET IT!! IT’S LIKE TIPPING A BARISTA!!

RACISM POLICE! SPREAD ’EM!

At the risk of sounding racist [Author’s note: Whenever anyone starts off a sentence with “At the risk of sounding racist,” you can practically guarantee they’re about to say something racist], I don’t like cops from other countries. I’m not too fond of cops from this country, either, but at least I get where they’re coming from: I’m doing something illegal; they don’t like that. HOWEVER! Whenever I’m in a foreign country, I’m honestly not sure what the cops are gonna do.

Example: At the risk of sounding racist [Author’s note: There he goes again], Thailand’s cops are the worst. Once when I was eating lunch at a remote Thai village, the town sheriff (or whatever they call it) was insanely drunk and just stood there glaring at me, slightly wavering on his feet, and tapping the gun in his holster. Who’s the most nonracist person in the world? Nelson Mandela? I bet even he’d think that was creepy.

Example #2: And again, at the risk of sounding racist [Author’s note: Seriously? Shut up, racist! The only difference between you and Paula Deen is that you’re prediabetic!], I don’t know WHAT is going on with Mexican cops. Once I got pulled over in Puerto Vallarta for an extremely minor traffic violation, and the cop made it clear that I wasn’t going anywhere until I paid him off. So when I offered him the bribe, he flipped out because I didn’t hide the money underneath a piece of paper on his clipboard. DUDE! EVERYBODY

There was another time in Mexico where I was swimming by myself on a secluded beach when I was approached by a pickup truck carrying roughly 10 young men waving machetes and automatic rifles. They stared at me menacingly… and then kept driving. (PHEW!) Again, call me racist… but even Nelson Mandela would be totally creeped out by that!

However! Though I may sound racist [Author’s note: Congratulations! You do!], I think I like the Mexican cop in the new FX drama The Bridge (debuts Wed July 10, 10 pm) better than the American variety!

The Bridge is based on the Danish/Swedish series of the same name and tells the story of two cops (Detective Sonya Cross of the El Paso police department and Detective Marco Ruiz, a homicide detective for the state of Chihuahua) on the American/ Mexican border. When they discover a murdered body that’s lying directly on the border line, they argue over which country gets to investigate the case—until they discover the grisly secret that the body is actually two different people. EEEEEEEEEEE!!! Obviously, a freaky serial killer is at work, and the cops are forced to work together to solve a very deep mystery that casts a shadowy light on both countries.

Besides being a great crime thriller, The Bridge also explores cultural differences, immigration woes, and you guessed it… racism! And at the risk of sounding racist

[Author’s note: Gaaaaahhhh!!!], I think The Bridge is gonna make the rest of this summer’s offerings look like a pile of garbage. [Author’s note: TV shows aren’t a “race,” you idiot.]

Read Humpy’s TV listings at THESTRANGER.COM

“ANOTHER SHINING EXAMPLE OF HOW WELL HORROR CINEMA CAN WORK IN BITE-SIZED PORTIONS.” – Scott Weinberg, Fearnet “EXHILARATING.

The rare sequel that learns from its predecessor’s mistakes and improves on it in every way.”

– Abhimanyu Das, Slant THE ONLY HORROR FRANCHISE THAT MATTERS – Rich Juzwiak, Gawker

LATE SHOWS ON FRIDAY, JULY 12 & SATURDAY, JULY 13 FRI & SAT: 11:00 PM

SEATTLE Grand Illusion Cinema (206) 523-3935

THE HISTORY OF FUTURE FOLK

All I could think about while watching this quirky film about aliens who have the technology to travel across the unimaginably huge spaces of the universe, and the technology to destroy the life on a planet by just pressing one button, but do not have the technology to avoid or solve what we on Earth call an ELE (extinction level event) with a meteor, was the old TV show Mork and Mindy. Here are a few of the many similarities between Mork and the two aliens in The History of Future Folk: They come from planets with curious names (for Mork it is Ork, and for General Trius and his partner it is Hondo), they are fascinated with the habits of the human animal, and, finally, they have a thing for tight red spacesuits. But here is something that needs to be pointed out: The people on Ork and the people on Hondo look a lot like the white people on Earth. (CHARLES MUDEDE) Northwest Film Forum, Fri-Tues 7, 9 pm.

THE KINGS OF SUMMER

Two typical teenage boys—boys with parent troubles, girl troubles—grab a nerdy sidekick and take to the woods, determined to build a new life on their own terms. The movie’s early scenes are brilliant, perfectly nailing interactions between these surly kids and their baffled, out-of-touch parents. Nick Offerman plays one kid’s dad, Megan Mullally an overbearing mother, Alison Brie a sympathetic older sister. Unfortunately, those dynamics are

basically ditched after the film’s first act in favor of house-building montages. It made me wish for a more conventional coming-ofage story—one in which family friction is endured, rather than escaped. (ALISON HALLETT) SIFF Cinema Uptown, Fri-Sun 4:45, 7, 9:15 pm, Mon-Tues 6:45, 9:15 pm.

MANIAC

The original Maniac, made in 1980, is a cult classic in the slasher genre. Directed by William Lustig, actor Joe Spinell plays Frank, a chubby super-creep—a serial killer with mommy issues who stalks and kills random women in the streets of New York City. The most memorable thing Frank does is repeatedly scalp his female victims and put the bloody hairpieces on mannequins. French director Franck Khalfoun’s new Maniac follows the same premise, except the setting is Los Angeles and his Frank is played by skinny, not-very-creepy former hobbit actor Elijah “Frodo” Wood. What Khalfoun also does is present nearly the entire film from the point of view of Frank. This usually good art-house trick kills any chance for surprises. Instead, you see everything in Frank’s eyes—and by “everything,” I mean women repeatedly stalked and killed in excessively gory, hyperrealistic scenes. Instead of being scary, or ever making you jump a little in your seat, the whole thing becomes misogynistic violence porn. Horror movie violence is expectedly brutal (duh!). But by the time Frank starts in on his fourth woman—hog-tying her,

then slowly (oh-so-slowly!) cutting her scalp from her head (while she’s still alive!)—my mind started to wander elsewhere. It was always exciting when Jason Voorhees popped outta the bushes in Friday the 13th, with his own mommy issues and a big knife. Frank, as maniac, seems to prove that all gore equals snore. (KELLY O) Grand Illusion, Fri 7, 9 pm, Sat-Sun 5, 7, 9 pm, Mon-Tues 7, 9 pm.

MOONRISE KINGDOM

Magnuson’s outdoor movie series commences this week with Wes Anderson’s latest, a charming and summery tale of young lovers on the run. Magnuson Park, Thurs July 11 at dusk.

MORE THAN HONEY

See review, page 57. Varsity, Fri-Sun 12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7:10, 9:30 pm, Mon-Tues 4:45, 7:10, 9:30 pm.

SOMM

SOMM follows four men hoping to earn their Master Sommelier diplomas. The famously difficult exam includes a test in which the aspirants must not only prove themselves as poets and historians of wine, they must identify specific wines—through taste and smell and vision alone—by varietal, country, region, and, to score most highly, vintner and year. Unfortunately, the amazement found here is diluted by too-

slick, poorly paced filmmaking. Moreover, the men come off more as a bunch of bros who happen to have a weird (and potentially lucrative) obsession than as people seeking to perpetuate an arcane, amazing body of knowledge about a beautiful human accomplishment. (BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT) SIFF Cinema Uptown, Sat-Sun 2:30 pm.

TROUBLE IN PARADISE

The SAM’s 35 mm American Comedy Classics series kicks off with the 1932 classic Trouble in Paradise starring Herbert Marshall and Miriam Hopkins; things go awry when Marshall and Hopkins, lovers and partners in crime, hatch a con involving the beautiful Kay Francis. Seattle Art Museum, Thurs July 11 at 7:30 pm.

THE UNSPEAKABLE ACT

The reason this film was made for me to hate: It’s entirely set in the closed world of a white and quirky middle-class family. Now let me be clear about this: I have nothing against white people, nothing against the middle class, and nothing against families. But why in the world do so many American indie directors find this small and exhausted corner of American life infinitely fascinating? I have an answer for that question, but I don’t have the space to properly express it. What I will say is that Unspeakable Act is very well written. The story is not interesting (a 17-year-old girl is struggling with the real sexual feelings she has for her 18-year-old brother—those who know 19th-century German philosophy will understand why I would categorize this as the Cinema of Hegel), but the director is a really smart writer, and he managed to extract some great performances from his main actors. If the writing had been weak, watching this film would have been like putting a plastic bag over my head and tightening it around my neck. (CHARLES MUDEDE) Northwest Film Forum, Fri-Tues 7, 9 pm.

V/H/S/2

Following up on the heels of V/H/S, an anthology of frenzied found-footage horror, four more genre directors come together to revel in jump scares, hysterical violence, and shaky lo-fi filmmaking. Eduardo Sánchez and Gregg Hale’s GoPro helmet-cam view of the zombie apocalypse is more about clever camera angles than decent storytelling. Gareth Evans (The Raid) delivers the biggest WTF bang for your buck with a hellish tour of a cult’s compound. No one expects this to be Citizen Kane, but is it too much to ask the filmmakers to spend as much time on their scripts as they do making buckets of blood? (JEFF MEYERS) Grand Illusion, Fri-Sat at 11 pm.

NOW PLAYING

THE BLING RING

A brash group of affluent SoCal teenagers pinched cash, clothes, and jewelry from the homes of celebrities. With its monotonous succession of nightclubs and fancy closets, Sofia Coppola’s The Bling Ring is a disappointing retelling of the crimes. It needn’t be an indictment of celebrity culture, or millennials, or whatever, but The Bling Ring is neither fun nor thoughtful—it’s totally ambivalent. (ZAC PENNINGTON)

THE HEAT

An uptight FBI agent and a crude Boston cop team up to topple a mysterious Russian drug lord in this summer flick. Sounds familiar, right? Sounds like every other buddy-cop flick since the invention of both flicks and buddies. Here’s the twist: The two agents are played by Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy. Women! In leading roles! Cast in a summer blockbuster, no less! And they’re funny! Holy fuck, I think I’ve burned all my bras (that’s a metaphor for death) and gone to saggy-titted feminist heaven. (CIENNA MADRID)

THE LONE RANGER

The Lone Ranger is a turd of a movie that juxtaposes schlocky comedy with earnestly whitewashed Native American mysticism, in grand Disney tradition. (CIENNA MADRID)

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

Set in an opulent modern-day estate (the director’s own house), Joss Whedon’s Much Ado is a cozy affair, and the actors are all practically flirting with Shakespeare’s language. Everybody sure does look like they’re having fun, to the point where you want to forgive the film’s flaws—the amateurish soundtrack, some hammy acting—because you feel like you’re an invited guest at an intimate dinner party. (PAUL CONSTANT)

THE SECRET DISCO REVOLUTION

Jamie Kastner’s revisionist history/documentary doesn’t bring much new to the table (beyond a tight focus on Casablanca Records), but disco lovers (and the discocurious) will find much to enjoy. (DAVID SCHMADER)

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS

The good news: With one unfortunate exception, the actors are all growing pleasantly into their roles. The bad news: There’s very little trekking in this Star Trek. Way too much of this movie is set on Earth or is simply floating, semistationary, in outer space. Star Trek should be about optimism and aspirations and fun, dammit. (PAUL CONSTANT)

THIS IS THE END

James Franco is having a house party when the apocalypse hits. The survivors, including Franco, Seth Rogen, and Jay Baruchel, must fight over the last scraps of food and water. What makes the film work is its reliance on the comedians’ improvisation skills. When your mind wanders, Satan’s cock appears on-screen or Channing Tatum makes the greatest cameo of all time and snaps you back into the moment. In the end, it succeeds as a dude-centric but really fucking funny buddy film. (CIENNA MADRID)

THE WAY, WAY BACK Remember way, way back in 2009 when the movie Adventureland was released?

The Nabob

Eastlake Bar and Grill

APARTMENTS

QUEEN ANNE $1,000

Large 1 & 2BD’s. 1BD w/balcony, 2BD with views! Great location, DW, w/s/g included. $1000-$1600/mo. 1000 1st Ave. W. Call (206)286-9488

ART STUDIO/CREATIVE

I AM LOOKING for someone that would be interested in sub-leasing this room. This is not a place to live or a place for a band to rehearse. See web ad for pictures. 425.444.5053 or email at robert@thevocaliststudio.com.

OFFICE/COMMERCIAL

FANTASTIC COMMERCIAL BUILDING in Burien/Normandy park. Own Parking lot multiple uses, 3500 SF. 206-650-1950

GO LUNA - Large office/workspace now available at ActivSpace in West Seattle nice bright/airy top-floor unit, rents is $675. 206-935 5700 www. ActivSpace.com

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

2810SQ FEET, 6BEDROOMS, 2.75bath, 2car garage, built on 1/4 acre lot in Auburn, WA. $177,000 Man 206-617-7569

VIEW LOT (24,000+SQ.FT) just waiting for custom home or potential for 3units. Excellent location. Call, Natalia 206-979-0753, AssociateBroker, Skyline Properties, www.NataliasHomes.com

ROOMMATES

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: http:// www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)

LOOKING FOR A room or roommate in the greater seattle area? Call us at 800=488=8050 or www.rme1.com.

ROOMS FOR RENT! FREE utilities. FREE laundry. FREE Internet. Large spacious rooms in private home. Furnished or unfurnished available. $650 & $720. CALL Sarah @ 206-723-6133.

SEEKING FEMALE ROOMMATE for 2013-2014 school year in Northgate starting August 31st. 12 month lease. 1/2 bedroom available, bunk bed already in place. $350 rent a month, utilities not included. Already furnished. Tons of busses nearby. Contact: annortha@gmail.com

SINCE 1989 WE have helped 1000’s of people find rooms or roommates in the greater seattle area. Call us today at 800=488=8050 or go to http:// www. roommateexpress.com

U OF

COUNSELING

AFFORDABLE COUNSELING FOR individuals, families and relationships of all configurations. Sliding scale. The price of therapy shouldn’t drive you crazy. G/L/B/T/Q/I sex positive/ sex worker/kink friendly Cristien Storm, M.A. LMHC www.cristienstorm.com 206-769-3160

ANGER MANA GEMENT

Is your life out of balance? Perhaps your anger is creating problems. Find Balance Between Body + Soul. Call (206) 427-9796 or Visit www.NutriPsychTherapy.com

NEED SUPPORT AND encouragement to build the life you want? Compassionate, nonjudgmental adult counseling. Depression, anxiety, self esteem, life transitions, trauma, grief, domestic violence, illness. Build strengths and life skills. Sliding fee, free phone consultations. Available weekends. Call 206-734-7998.

PSYCHOTHERAPY FOR ARTISTS!

Artists are a unique population with special needs. Psychologist with MFA, MA psychology, certificate psychology of creativity, specializing in artists of all media, highly creative individuals, gifted & talented. 1st session free. Free parking. See www.denitabenyshekphd. com/artistscreators.html.

MASSAGE

$45HR FOR MEN 1.5-$65/2hrs-

$85. 18yrs masseur (LMP#MA8718). Excellent general full-body massage. Enjoy, relax, unwind. Or choose more focused bodywork. Loosen and free up tightness. Get relief for muscle pain. Www.bodyworkman.com. John Runyan 206.324.0682. 10am-8pm. Cash/ incalls only. Last-minute encouraged.

DREAMSCAPE MASSAGE / Capitol Hill Enjoy your first massage at Dreamscape with $10.00 off!(New clients only,not valid with gift certificates.) We are located at 619 Broadway Ave. E on Capitol Hill. Please visit our Web site at DreamscapeMassage.com / 206-568-3771

EXCELLENT THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE, since 1994 www.eptribe.com/irene

EXCELLENT WEST SEATTLE Massage Swedish, Deep Tissue. Quiet West Seattle Studio 15 minutes from downtown. Professional with 9 years’ $65hr or $85 for 90m. L&I, PIP, Some insurance accepted. Same-day appt often available. Call Tod 206.852.0139

LAURIE’S MASSAGE (206)919-2180

LIKE A JAPANESE Hot Springs - At The Gated Sanctuary you can soak naked outside among soaring cedar trees in jetted hot pools, dip in a cold plunge, and relax with therapeutic massage. Unwind in our eucalyptus steam room. (425)334-6277 www.TheGatedSanctuary.com

STUDIES

AUDIO/VIDEO

Opened for Jeff Bridges! I’m Richard Peterson, 64 year old composer, arranger, and pianist. I’m available to play parties, weddings, clubs, shows, etc. $200/gig. Covers and originals. Please call 206-325-5271, Thank You! CD available. Must have a piano.

MUSIC INSTRUCTION & SERVICES

BANDS WANTED

GARAGE ROCK FEST! Putting together a Seattle show with other loud messy garage punk bands in late August. Please contact me with a link to your music if you are interested in participating. http://www.reverbnation. com/superedge

MUSICIANS WANTED

AUXILIARY PERCUSSIONIST

NEEDED to round and augment the percussive element of experimental rock band. Polyrhythms, metal percussion, timbales, bottles and knives will be used, along with other implements. Black Flag, Swans, Savage Republic. No drugs. 206.547.2615/omaritaylor@ hotmail.com/www.rendingsinew.com

AVANT-ROCK BAND SEEKING cellist to complete personnel. Drums/Bass/Guitar/Voice. Swans, Glenn Branca, Godspeed You!Black Emperor, Zero 7, Jarboe, Live Skull, Saint Vitus, Black Sabbath, Black Flag. No drugs. We have a rehearsal space. 206.547.2615/omaritaylor@gmail.com www.myspace.com/branavinix

AVANT-ROCK BAND SEEKING violinist to complete personnel. Drums/ Bass/Guitar/Cello/Voice. Swans, Glenn Branca, Godspeed You!Black Emperor, Zero 7, Jarboe, Live Skull, Saint Vitus, Black Sabbath, Black Flag. No drugs. We have a rehearsal space. 206.547.2615/omaritaylor@gmail.com www.myspace.com/branavinix

DRUMMER WANTED FOR Rock band by heavy guitar player. Influences include Sabbath, Blue Cheer, MC5, Stooges, Misfits and Monster Magnet. skgrease@hotmail.com. www.myspace. com/eroder also on facebook!

EXPERIENCED VOCALIST/ SONGWRITER. I HAVE YEARS OF EXPERIENCE SINGING AND PLAYING SYNTH. CONTACT ME AT 206-8603534. LIVE IN SEATTLE: LET ME KNOW YOUR BACKGROUND AND WHERE YOU REHEARSE. CALL TOM AT 206-860-3534

EXPERIMENTAL ROCK BAND seeking keyboardist/soundscape artist. Swans, Big Black, Neurosis, Black Flag, Killing Joke, Throbbing Gristle, Laibach, SPK, Coil, Godflesh, Savage Republic, Pigface, Jarboe, Diamanda Galas, Head of David. No drugs. Bass/drums/guitar. 206.547.2615/omaritaylor@hotmail. com/www.rendingsinew.com

KEYBOARDIST WANTED FOR an avant-rock band. Swans, Black Flag, Masada, John Zorn, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Zero 7, Of Cabbages and Kings, Suicide. No drugs. We have a rehearsal space. Bass/Drums/Cello/ Violin/Guitar/Voice. 206.547.2615/ omaritaylor@hotmail.com www. myspace.com/branavinix

LEAD GUITAR, BASS, and Drums wanted (Seattle) have 23 years of Vocals and Spoken-Word experience. I am creating a new crew to collaborate/ perform live with. https://myspace.com/ civilizedmonster Let me know if you’re interested. Oh, and no flakes. Thanks.

LET’S GET FUNKY. IF YOU’RE WONDERING WHICH DIRECTION YOU WANT TO GO, CONTACT ME: I’M READY FOR A NEW DIRECTION, AND IF YOU ARE TOO, LET’S GET FUNKY. METAL AND GRUNGE AND ALT HAVE HAD THEIR DAY. 206-860-3534

METALIBÜXX, SEATTLE’S PREMIER 80’s hard rock purveyors, seek new LEAD GUITARIST. Dio, Ratt, Priest, Ozzy, Scorpions, Rush, more! YOU play the solos, get the groupies! Crazy fun. Club Gigs and festivals. See http://www.youtube.com/metalibuxx find us on Facebook, then email stonemary0@gmail.com

ORIGINAL, EXPERIENCED VOCALIST wanted for pro-level rock band. Male or female. No low-lifes, addicts, ego-maniacs. That means have a car, somewhere to live, and a firm grip on reality. info@sovasound.com

PAID SECTION LEADERS Tenor & Bass sought by auditioned community choir. Rehearsals Wednesday evenings, Sept - June in NE Seattle, plus 6-8 performances. Must have excellent reading skills and solid sound. Compensation DOE. For more information contact Music Director ASAP: marypatplymalegraham@gmail.com

RECORDING/REHEARSAL

BAND REHEARSAL SPACE 1

Shared Room @$210/month Incl. 36hrs/month & Private closet and Private Rooms @ $500/mo. Call 425445-9165 or Visit wildersoundstudios. com Located in SODO Seattle

SOPHIAHAT RECORDING STUDIOS - pro sound at project studio rates www.sophiahatstudio.com

MONTHLY/HOURLY BAND

REHEARSAL studios. 24/7 Visit seattlerehearsal.com or call 206-287-1615

THE HIVE RECORDING Studio: 206-249-8942 band and vocal recording, editing, mixing, and mastering. Work with experienced credited engineers/producers! Check us out at /www.TheHiveRecordingStudio.com

SERVICES

BANDS! NEED A Great Demo? 1 song - $100 Mirror Sound Studio’s Summer Demo Deal Rocks! Call for Details: 206 440 5889 Ask for Reid: Mention Demo Mania www.mirrorsound.com

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

For the Week of July 10

ARIES (March 21–April 19): The Space Needle is a tourist attraction in Seattle. It’s taller than the Washington Monument but shorter than the Eiffel Tower. Near the top of the structure is a circular restaurant that rotates slowly, making one complete turn every 47 minutes. The motor that moves this 125-ton mass is small: only 1.5 horsepower. In the coming days, Aries, I foresee you having a metaphorically similar ability. You will be able to wield a great deal of force with a seemingly small and compact “engine.”

TAURUS (April 20–May 20): “How many years can some people exist before they’re allowed to be free?” asked Bob Dylan in one of his most famous songs, written in 1962. “The answer is blowin’ in the wind,” he concluded. Many people hailed the tune as a civil rights anthem. Thirteen years later, a hippie cowboy named Jerry Jeff Walker released “Pissing in the Wind,” a rowdy song that included the line “The answer is pissing in the wind.” It was decidedly less serious than the tune it paid homage to, with Walker suggesting that certain events in his life resembled the act described in the title. “Makin’ the same mistakes, we swore we’d never make again,” he crooned. All of this is my way of letting you know, Taurus, that you’re at a fork. In one direction is a profound, even noble, “blowin’ in the wind” experience. In the other, it would be like “pissing in the wind.” Which do you prefer? It’s up to you.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20): The Italian artist Duccio di Buoninsegna painted his Madonna and Child sometime around the year 1300. It’s a compact piece of art—just 11 inches high and 8 inches wide. Nevertheless, New York’s Metropolitan Museum paid $45 million for the pleasure of owning it. I propose that we choose this diminutive treasure as your lucky symbol for the next 8 to 10 months, Gemini. May it inspire you as you work hard to create a small thing of great value.

CANCER (June 21–July 22): When the comic-book hero Superman first appeared on the scene in 1938, he had the power to jump over tall buildings, but he couldn’t fly. By 1941, he was hovering in midair, and sometimes moving around while floating. Eventually, he attained the ability to soar long distances, even between stars. Your own destiny may have parallels to Superman’s in the coming months, Cancerian. It’s possible you will graduate, metaphorically speaking, from taking big leaps to hovering in midair. And if you work your butt off to increase

your skill, you might progress to the next level—the equivalent of full-out flight— by March 2014.

LEO (July 23–Aug 22): “It’s never too late to become what you might have been,” said novelist George Eliot. I’d like you to keep that thought in mind throughout the rest of 2013 and beyond, Leo. I trust you will allow its sly encouragement to work its way down into your darkest depths, where it will revive your discouraged hopes and wake up your sleeping powers. Here are the potential facts as I see them: In the next 10 months, you will be in prime time to reclaim the momentum you lost once upon a time, to dive back into a beloved project you gave up on, and maybe even resuscitate a dream that made your eyes shine when you were younger and more innocent.

VIRGO (Aug 23–Sept 22): When I first arrived in Santa Cruz some years back, I helped start a new-wave punk band called Mystery Spot. Our first drummer was a guy named Lucky Lehrer. After a few months, our manager decided Lucky wasn’t good enough and kicked him out of the band. Lucky took it hard, but he didn’t give up. He joined the seminal punk band the Circle Jerks and went on to have a long and successful career. Flipside magazine even named him the best punk drummer of all time. I suspect, Virgo, that in the next 10 to 12 months you will have a chance to achieve the beginning of some Lucky Lehrer–type redemption. In what area of your life would you like to experience it?

LIBRA (Sept 23–Oct 22): According to my reading of the astrological omens, the next 12 months will be a time when you will have more power than usual to turn your dreams into realities. You’ll have extra skill at translating your ideals into practical action. To help make sure you capitalize on this potential, I suggest you adopt this Latin phrase as your motto: a posse ad esse. It means “from being possible to being actual.” So why not simply make your motto “from being possible to being actual”? Why bother with the Latin version? Because I think your motto should be exotic and mysterious—a kind of magical incantation.

SCORPIO (Oct 23–Nov 21): In 2010, two economics professors from Harvard wrote a paper that became a crucial piece of evidence for the global austerity movement. Politicians used it to justify their assertion that the best way to cure our long-running financial ills is for governments to spend less money. Oddly, no one actually studied the paper to see if it was based on accurate data until April 2013. Then Thomas Herndon, a 28-year-old PhD student at the University of Massachusetts, dived in and discovered fundamental mistakes that largely discredited the professors’ conclusions. I believe you have a similar mojo going for you, Scorpio. Through

clear thinking and honest inquiry, you have the power to get at truths everyone else has missed.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22–Dec 21): Breakthrough will probably not arrive wrapped in sweetness and a warm glow, nor is it likely to be catalyzed by a handsome prince or pretty princess. No, Sagittarius, when the breakthrough barges into your life, it may be a bit dingy and dank, and it may be triggered by questionable decisions or weird karma. So in other words, the breakthrough may have resemblances to a breakdown, at least in the beginning. This would actually be a good omen—a sign that your deliverance is nothing like you imagined it would be, and probably much more interesting.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22–Jan 19): In a wheat field, a rose is a weed—even if that rose is voluptuous and vibrant. I want you to promise me that you will work hard to avoid a fate like that in the coming months, Capricorn. Everything depends on you being in the right place at the right time. It’s your sacred duty to identify the contexts in which you can thrive and then put yourself in those contexts. Please note: The ambience that’s most likely to bring out the best in you is not necessarily located in a high-status situation where everyone’s ambition is amped to the max.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20–Feb 18): Is your soul feeling parched? In your inner world, are you experiencing the equivalent of a drought? If so, maybe you will consider performing a magic ritual that could help get you on track for a cure. Try this: Go outside when it’s raining or misting. If your area is going through a dry spell, find a waterfall or high-spouting fountain and put yourself in close proximity. Then stand with your legs apart and spread your arms upwards in a gesture of welcome. Turn your face toward the heavens, open up your mouth, and drink in the wetness for as long as it takes for your soul to be hydrated again. (In an emergency, frolicking under a sprinkler might also work.)

PISCES (Feb 19–March 20): Igor Stravinsky was a 20th-century composer who experimented with many styles of music, including the avant-garde work The Rite of Spring. “My music is best understood by children and animals,” he said. In my vision of your ideal life,

NAUGHTYNW.COM

“ AN EXTRAORDINARILY PERSONAL, DEEPLY FELT BOOK about traditional marriage, authentic and healthy religion and a traditional sex life.”

– The Washington Post

“America’s most in-your-face sex columnist and gay-rights activist comes out swinging in these PUGNACIOUS, HILARIOUS ESSAYS .” – Publishers Weekly , starred review

SAVAGE LOVE

Vacay BY DAN SAVAGE

I’m a 26-year-old straight female. I’m writing because I need to ask someone what to think right now. I just fucked a guy while on holiday in Costa Rica. I thought I was sexpositive and adventurous, so why do I feel so ashamed? I’m dating a boy back in the US who I absolutely adore, but we’re not necessarily exclusive. The guy was a 22-yearold local—I thought he was so sweet. But he did that bullshit “fuck her and then get her out of bed and drive her home” shit. I told him it wasn’t okay, and he made excuses. I feel so fucking pathetic right now. Is this because I did something stupid?

Is this a natural feeling? Or is it a result of some deep psychological self-induced slut-shaming? Why would he kick me out like that?

Please help me wrap my head around this.

know of no reliable way to determine when such a cardiac arrest becomes imminent. If the recipient does arrest, the probability of resuscitating them, even with optimal CPR, is small.”

Even if choking weren’t dangerous—posts about people accidentally killing themselves during solo choking scenes appear on fetish blogs with depressing regularity—being this woman’s boyfriend/assailant has to be tedious. Even if choking were safe, THROTTLE, you’d need to ask yourself if you wanna spend the rest of your life with someone who’s as inconsiderate, selfish, and sexually limited as your girlfriend seems to be.

Truly Underestimated Risk In Sexual Tourist Adventure

You had a one-night stand, and the dude wouldn’t let you spend the night, and now you’re having a meltdown about it. Why this reaction?

Because before you could give yourself permission to fuck this guy, you had to convince yourself that this encounter wasn’t, in fact, about two people using each other. Like a lot of people who want to have one-night stands— men and women, gay and straight, locals and tourists—you psyched yourself up to believe that you two had some sort of meaningful instaconnection. (“I thought he was so sweet.”) You convinced yourself that if circumstances were different—if you were single, if you lived in Costa Rica—you could see yourself dating this guy. You rounded this dude up to boyfriend material, TURISTA, but the way he treated you after the sex was over—“Okay, lady, back to the hotel”—stripped away your illusions: He was a player, and you had been played. Was your reaction sex-negative? Yes, it was. Are you slut-shaming yourself? Yes, you are. You did something kind of sleazy on vacation, TURISTA, just like millions of other people before you, and you misjudged someone. But who hasn’t?

As for why he kicked you out, TURISTA, I couldn’t tell you. Maybe he’s in a relationship that’s “not necessarily exclusive,” and his girlfriend was coming over in the morning and wouldn’t appreciate finding a turista—yet another one—in his bed.

Never thought I’d be writing to you for advice, but here goes: I’m a straight guy with a longterm girlfriend who has a choking fetish. She needs to be choked during sex to get off. I’m more of a vanilla kind of dude, but in the spirit of being GGG, I’ve been doing this for her. The thing is, it kind of scares me. I don’t particularly get off on it, and it actually brings out parts of me that I don’t like. More importantly, I’m really scared of hurting her. Recently while on vacation, hotel security was called because our neighbors thought I was assaulting her, as she’s a screamer and likes to struggle during sex. I’m trying to be GGG, but now it feels like every fuck needs to be a rape scene, complete with choking. She doesn’t like it any other way. I don’t want to accidentally hurt her or kill her and wind up in jail, but she’s dismissive when I share my concerns. My friends in the BDSM scene scold me and say that breath play is never okay. Your thoughts? Throat Harm Really Obsesses This Terrific Lady Entirely

Here’s what BDSM author, educator, and activist Jay Wiseman has to say about choking in his book SM 101: A Realistic Introduction: “I know of no way whatsoever that suffocation or strangulation can be done that does not intrinsically put the recipient at risk of cardiac arrest… I

I am a 29-year-old lesbian. My best friend has an incredibly hot sister to whom I am very attracted. Let’s call her Gladys. Gladys is about 10 years older than me and happily married to a man. We talk about life on Facebook and text each other frequently. Recently, things have gotten a bit more flirtatious. I am dying to say to her, “I am super-attracted to you and I don’t want to assume anything about your agreements with your hubby. If you ever want to explore your sexuality with a girl, I would love to be that girl.” It seems like a delicate situation. I love my best friend’s entire family. I love their mom. I have spent holidays at their house and vacationed with them. I don’t want to embarrass myself. But I know she couldn’t ask me that same thing. It just wouldn’t be right from her side, since I am her little sister’s best friend. Is there a way to roll this out? Lesbian Under Straight Tease

Let’s do a quick risk/reward analysis, LUST. By hitting on this woman, you’re risking your relationship with your best friend, your best friend’s sister, your best friend’s mom, and all future family holiday/vacation invites for the potential reward of getting into the pants of your best friend’s hot married older sister once or twice. Seems like a lot to risk if you ask me, LUST, and you did. That said, there are a lot of married bi women out there. But if Gladys has an open relationship with her husband—or if they’re actively searching for a unicorn—it would be better if they made the first move. So keep flirting and live in hope.

A girl I worked with introduced me to your podcast a couple of months ago. You must get this e-mail (or variations on it) all the time, but I wanted to say thank you for the Savage Lovecast . It has made me feel a lot more comfortable about some of the things I like to do, consensually, with my loving GGG boy. My girlfriends sometimes turn their noses up at some of the sexual stuff I’ve tried or mentioned being interested in trying. The calls and guest experts on your podcast make me feel so much more normal, and my boyfriend loves that I’ve recently become a lot more open about the things I want to do. I don’t have a question, Dan, I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate what you and the tech-savvy at-risk youth do every week.

Eager Nice Girl Living In Scottish Highlands

Thanks for the lovely note, ENGLISH, and tell your boyfriend I said hello. And remember, dear readers, if you’re not listening to my weekly podcast—check out our brand-new site at savagelovecast.com—you’re not getting your full weekly dose of Savage Love.

Dan’s new book, American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics, is available now!

mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

A NEW LGBTQ HEALTH PROGRAM

Safe, Culturally Responsive Care

Sliding Fee Scale*Private Insurance*State Assistance Info/Appointments: 800-572-4223

www.cedarriverclinics.org/lgbtqwellness

Ahh! Time to get *Ahh-thorized* 24/7 Patient Verification

Doctor-Nurse Owned Holistic Center

425.449.9393 or 888.508.5428

AdvancedHolisticHealth.org

Be an Egg Donor

Are you a healthy woman in your 20’s who loves to help others, or know someone who is?

We would love to talk with you!

Generous compensation. Call: 206-515-0042 or email: DonorEggBank@pnwfertility.com

Blanchard Chapel

Weddings & Receptions: Historic cathedral sanctuary, steeple bells, indoor & outdoor reception areas, gardens and countryside meadows. We welcome all marriages! (www.blanchardchapel.com) (360)766-6944

Donate Your Car, Truck or Motorcycle

Support Big Brothers Big Sisters of Puget Sound. We offer free pickup of used vehicles in most cases running or not. Tax deductible. (206) 248-5982

FREE CERVICAL CANCER SCREENING

Age: 21+. Volunteers will receive either self-collected at home HPV testing or regular Pap test screening. Up to $200 compensation for study completion. Call 206-543-3327 or e-mail homehpv@uw.edu.

LEGENDARY PIANIST AVAILABLE

Opened for Jeff Bridges! Clubs, Weddings, Parties

I’m Richard Peterson, 64 year old composer, arranger, and pianist. I’m available to play parties, weddings, clubs, shows, etc. $200/gig. Covers and originals.

Please call 206-325-5271, Thank You! CD available. Must have piano!

Is your life out of balance?

Perhaps your anger is creating problems. Find Balance Between Body + Soul. Call (206) 427-9796 or Visit www.NutriPsychTherapy.com

Support for queer, families, sex positive, social justice awareness Nicole Donahue, MA, LMFT (206) 4862655 ~ www.NicoleDonahue.com

Walk every Saturday night in July. It’s free for artists to participate. The Art Walk is part of “Jazz in July” nights—free outdoor concerts featuring local jazz musicians. If you are an artist who would to like to display and sell their art, please join us! Go to www.thelandinginrenton.