Study Guide Questions for The Stranger, Volume 22, Issue 42
1. In a lengthy piece, BRENDAN KILEY writes about how boring theatrical promotion photographs are. How many people in the world could this “problem” possibly affect? Be specific and show your math.
2a. Is the news team’s guide to the mayoral candidates (a) as flippant as (b) more flippant than (c) way more flippant than you feared it would be?
2b. As an exercise in persuasive letterwriting, please compose a 300-word e-mail to news editor DOMINIC HOLDEN explaining how this jokey mock-fest of a guide is unhelpful at best and downright harmful to political discourse at worst. Remember to use your vocabulary words, and try not to be too lecturing in tone!
3. In her column Never Heard of ’Em, in which she reviews music she’s never heard before, ANNA MINARD reviews the Clash’s The Clash. At what point does she become just a naive idiot sitcom character, like Rose from The Golden Girls or Balki from Perfect Strangers? Has she already passed that point? Support your claim with examples.
4. BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT eats pig head and cow lips in this week’s restaurant review. Between this and news intern CALLAN BERRY’s recent Slog post about eating foie gras, do you think that The Stranger’s food section is trying to gain lucrative page views as a shock-eating contest designed to outrage vegans? Or is there still a single iota of culinary curiosity at play behind these “investigations”?
5. During a long interview with Sean Nelson, music writer DAVE SEGAL does manage to mention that Nelson worked at The Stranger, yet doesn’t manage to say that he worked at the paper for 10 years. Does the fact that Nelson picked up a full-time paycheck at The Stranger for a decade change your perception of this piece? Shouldn’t it?
6. CHARLES MUDEDE published four pieces in this week’s Stranger. How many of those pieces did you read? Use fractions.
Submit your answers at THESTRANGER.COM
COVER ART Golden by BRIAN BRITIGAN brianbritigan.com
See more of Brian’s work as part of Natural Science at True Love Art Gallery (trueloveart.com) through July 7.
Find podcasts, videos, blogs, MP3s, free classifieds, personals, contests, sexy ads, and more on The Stranger’s website.
ROCKIN PIANO SHOW
THE STRANGER 1535 11th Avenue, Third Floor, Seattle, WA 98122
MONDAY, JUNE 10 This week of falling books, busted stepkids, and bears behaving bearishly kicks off with a shitastically ridiculous story out of Utah, where a man charged with rape is clinging to a remarkable defense. Details come from the Salt Lake Tribune, which identifies our alleged rapist as Rodger Kelly, a 50-year-old St. George man who told police he found a female neighbor passed out on her porch last month and moved her into his apartment. After the woman regained consciousness, she contacted police with suspicions that she might have been raped, instigating the investigation that eventually produced this sentence: “[Kelly] told police he inserted his penis inside the unconscious 29-year-old on May 19 because ‘he was trying to save her life,’ according to court documents,” reports the Tribune. He said he was trying to “get her temperature up… Police told Kelly that his actions amounted to rape.” Charged today with first-degree felony rape, Kelly will be held at the Purgatory Correctional Facility (!) on $25,000 bond.
DID YOU SAY “PUSSY”?
Thank you for a moment of cognitive dissonance. I once heard a jazz musician explain in an interview why he liked to play abrupt dissonances in the middle of tender ballads: It was his way of setting a bright-orange billboard against a blue sky. It felt like that while you and I were messing around in that dark cubby in that sex club, with my hands all over your nice big furry chest, and my tongue finding your left nipple, when you whispered, “You’re making my pussy wet.” Not a shock, really, just “Huh?” And then you pulled my hand down behind your balls (nice balls, too!), where my fingers felt an unexpected little valley, a small, perfectly aligned slot. And then you said you were nervous and pulled up your pants, and I gave you a quick kiss on the lips, and we both smiled, and we separated.
For a full day, I’ve been trying to think of the right label. Are you an FTM with a very convincing dick? A hermaphrodite? I have never touched a pussy, so I don’t know what a pussy is supposed to feel like. But I realize it doesn’t matter. I’ve come across guys before in sex clubs (literally) with unexpected body forms—missing fingers, green hair. They don’t need labels. They are awesome being exactly who they are. That’s how it goes in an anonymous sex club. Each guy is unique, and so is each experience. Thanks for an interesting one.
—Anonymous
TUESDAY, JUNE 11 Speaking of highly problematic sex acts, the week continues in Washington State, near the itchy intersection of teenage rebellion and underage sex work. Details come from Seattlepi.com/KOMO, which report today’s story was set in motion when a Pierce County man discovered a Backpage.com ad hyping the escort services of his 15-year-old stepdaughter and devised a plan to catch her in the act. “He had his sister’s husband contact his stepdaughter, who was going by the name Diamond, for a date,” reports Seattlepi.com/ KOMO. “The man’s brother-in-law agreed to meet Diamond in Room 236 of a Motel 6 in Fife and pay her $1,200 for the night, according to the probable cause documents. When he showed up, he confirmed Diamond was in the room before having her stepfather call police.” Cops arrived to find Diamond in a room registered to Samuel Miles-Johnson and Joshua Jones, who were arrested outside the motel for investigation of promoting sexual abuse of a minor. As for Diamond, she reportedly told officers, “I’d rather go to jail than go home.”
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 12 In ostensibly lighter news, the week continues in Seattle, where this evening Roosevelt High School held its graduation ceremony for the class of 2013. Invited to deliver the commencement speech: author David Guterson, who graduated from Roosevelt in 1974 and went on to write the best-selling novel Snow Falling on Cedars, and who gave the assembled crowd a speech they’ll never forget. “Students and parents are still talking about the 25-minute address Guterson gave, which upset some members of the audience so much that they heckled Guterson from the stands at Memorial Stadium,” reports the Seattle Times , which solicited feedback from attendees: “It certainly was an intelligent talk,” said parent Diana Brement, “but the overall tone was very, very negative.” “He talked a lot about his death,” said senior Dexter Tang. “[And] about dying inside.”
But as Principal Brian Vance told the Times, it wasn’t completely negative: “The message was about waking up and reflecting on your life and trying to avoid the distractions that we all have in our lives, and take the opportunity to think about what you want to accomplish.” Still, as a school board member told the Times, “He did mention death a whole lot.” To read the full text of David Guterson’s graduate-depressing speech, go to Slog, The Stranger’s blog.
•• In better news, today also brings a story from the Seattle Public Library, whose staff plus 27 volunteers spent seven hours setting up 2,131 books on the third floor of the Central Library, then gracefully knocked the whole thing over to set a new world record for the longest book domino chain. “The books used were either donated or are out of date, and are now being sold by the Friends of the Seattle Public Library to help raise money for library programs and services,” reports the World Record Academy. Congratulations, librarians!
THURSDAY, JUNE 13 The week continues with the closing of a chapter of old-school Seattle history, as today Tiny Freeman—the humongous man with the humongous personality (and humongous beard) known in the 1970s
TOP 25 PEOPLE WHO GET MAD IF THEY’RE
NOT INCLUDED ON A LIST
Lisa Dank
Kerri Harrop
Ed Murray
Ryan Lewis
Derek Sheen
Oskar Schindler
The Surviving Members of Alice in Chains
Lyall Bush
Charity Mainville
Stone Soup Theater
Lou Diamond Phillips
The Legless
KT Niehoff
Tom “T-Doug” Douglas
Joni Balter
John Longenbaugh
Steve Scher
Steve Pool
That Lady Who Was on Almost Live! but Wasn’t Nancy Guppy
Doughnut Frosters
Mike Nipper
That Commenter on Cienna’s Comedy Story Who Was Mad That It Wasn’t All About Her
Rodney Tom
Northwest Rappers
Women Who Rock
as the “Mayor of Pioneer Square”—passed away at age 72. Among his many claims to local fame: running for Congress in 1974 using the Central Saloon as his campaign headquarters, DJing a bluegrass radio show on the nowdefunct KRAB Radio, and becoming a beloved character in the writings of celebrated Seattle Times and Seattle Post-Intelligencer columnist Emmett Watson. “He is all the things you’d want in a friend,” said musician and friend Dan Grinstead to the P-I in 2007. “He is very ethical, returns favors, and does favors without being asked. And I’ve never met a woman who doesn’t think he’s wonderful after first thinking he was gross.” RIP, Tiny Freeman.
FRIDAY, JUNE 14 Nothing happened today, unless you count Flag Day , the nonfederal holiday commemorating the adoption of the United States flag in 1777.
SATURDAY, JUNE 15 In worse news, the week continues in Alaska, where today a man attending a church picnic was mauled by a bear. Details come from the Anchorage Daily News , which reports the scene went down early this evening near the Eklutna Lake Campground, when a man who’d been drinking at a church picnic decided to go for a bike ride, taking some food from the barbecue along with him. As Alaska State Troopers spokeswoman Beth Ipsen told the Daily News, the trouble started when the
man encountered a black bear, with whom he decided to share his barbecue. But after tossing a couple chunks of meat at the bear, the man learned that bears aren’t good at sharing “The bear attacked the man, puncturing skin along his jaw and leaving him with scratches on his back,” reports the Daily News. “The man was taken to an Anchorage hospital, where he was treated and released… His name is not being released because he may be charged with illegally feeding wildlife.” As Alaska Department of Fish and Game spokesman Ken Marsh told the Daily News , “The bear was pretty much goaded into this.”
SUNDAY, JUNE 16 The week ends with Father’s Day (all hail Walter Simon Schmader Jr.!) and an update on last week’s story about Naveena Shine, the Seattle woman who made international headlines with her pledge to live on nothing but water, tea, and sunlight. Identified in last week’s Last Days as “the world’s laziest suicide,” Shine took to her Facebook page today to announce her 45-day light diet was over and she was resuming eating food Congratulations, Naveena Shine, for surviving your own idiotic idea and for turning “Woman Eats Food” into a viable news headline. ■
Dear Roosevelt High School graduating class of 2013 and everyone else: You know you’re going to die someday, right? Before then, send hot tips to lastdays@thestranger.com and follow me on Twitter @davidschmader.
Eat meat with bears at THESTRANGER.COM/SLOG
HAPPY GRADUATION!
Who’s the Boss? Who’s the Boss? Who’s the Boss?
An Unhelpful Guide to Electing Seattle’s Next Mayor
By Goldy, Dominic Holden, Cienna Madrid, and Anna Minard Illustrations by Kathryn Rathke
By this time next month, you’ll have a ballot packed with all nine candidates running for mayor. The top two votegetters in the summer primary election will advance to a head-to-head race in November.
Before you vote, many of you will study the official voters’ guide— and then The Stranger’s voters’ guide that comes out on July 17. You will carefully compare their positions with your own values. Such responsible citizenry requires the most thorough reporting available on each candidate’s positions—and if that’s what you’re looking for, stop reading.
Mike McGinn
Mayor of Seattle
“I am trying to speed up the construction of light rail, but the motherfucking city council is run by a bunch of obstructionist assholes.”
Greatest strength: His frankness often alienates politicos accustomed to getting their asses kissed. Greatest weakness: His frankness often alienates politicos accustomed to getting their asses kissed.
Medium weakness: Hot wings. Also, under his watch, the Feds sued the city for police routinely using excessive force. McGinn may talk a good game—about keeping police in check, building light rail faster, and bringing back the Sonics—but he often fails to deliver.
Spirit animal: Brown bear in bike shorts.
Base supporters: Environmentalists, youths, cops, cyclists, light-rail supporters. Little-known fact: A car blows a tire every time you rub his belly. Vision for Seattle’s future: Light rail in every home!
Biggest enemies: The Seattle City Council, the Seattle Times Key endorsements: 37th District Democrats, Cascade Bicycle Club, Northwest Energy Efficiency Council, Sierra Club, IBEW Local 46, Laborers Local 1239. Amount raised: $236,069.
Latest polling: 22 percent.
Ed Murray
State Senator (43rd District)
“I want to be Seattle’s first gay mayor, and I’ll sink as low as necessary to win.”
Greatest Strength: Playing dirty. There’s already a pro-Murray PAC to smear his opponents, and, as he told the Seattle Weekly last week, Murray expects this to be “the ugliest campaign Seattle has ever seen” if he can make it through the primary election. He’ll also play up his ability to bring people together in Olympia, with examples such as approving gay marriage and funding the most expensive freeway projects in the state. In contrast, Mayor McGinn has never unified politicians around building freeways.
Greatest weakness: Murray’s got limited knowledge of city issues. He may play up being Seattle’s first gay mayor, but gays don’t need gay light rail.
Medium weakness: Prone to fits of pique.
Biggest supporters: Wealthy homosexuals.
Biggest enemies: His own deep-seated insecurities.
Spirit animal: RuPaul dressed as Harvey Milk.
Campaign theme song: “Gaston.”
Vision for Seattle’s future: A collaborative, grown-up, utopian dreamscape— once he’s finished running “the ugliest campaign Seattle has ever seen.”
Key endorsements: The 34th, 36th, 43rd, and 46th District Democrats.
Amount raised: $224,450.
Latest polling: 15 percent.
Peter Steinbrueck
Former Seattle City Council Member
“I don’t oppose density—and I’m not a NIMBY—I just want it done right: in someone else’s neighborhood.”
Greatest strength: He’s got name recognition as the scion of the Pike Place Market’s savior and the devotion of neighborhood activists who hope Steinbrueck will protect them from the scourge of density and a functional mass-transit system.
Greatest weakness: Everyone’s still pissed at him for chickening out on running last time.
Spirit animal: Rachel the pig.
Base supporters: NIMBYs, mossbacks, Daddy’s friends.
Key endorsements: King County Democrats; 11th and 46th District Democrats.
Amount raised: $115,999.
Latest polling: 17 percent.
Mary Martin Socialist Worker
“From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.”
How she can win: Russian and Cuban forces invade the United States and viciously round up the inhabitants of Seattle.
Greatest weakness: A group of teens, led by a young Patrick Swayze, escape to the hills and launch a counterattack against the befuddled Cuban commander.
Medium weakness: America’s lack of class consciousness.
Spirit animal: Fidel Castro.
Base supporters: Some guy named Joe.
Little-known fact: Best known for her role as Peter Pan, Martin is also the mother of actor Larry Hagman, who she gave birth to at the age of 18.
Vision for Seattle’s future: Havana.
Biggest enemies: Indifference.
Key endorsements: Some guy named Joe.
Amount raised: $0.00 (money enslaves the proletariat to its capitalist masters).
Latest polling: 3 percent.
Bruce Harrell
Seattle City Council Member
“I was born in Seattle. I will probably die in Bellevue.”
How he can win: Harrell is the most eloquent and passionate speaker in the field, when he’s fired up. If he can squeeze through the crowded primary to the top two, he could very well talk his way into the job.
Greatest weakness: Given a council career without a major signature accomplishment, there’s not a lot backing up all that talk.
Medium weakness: Mike McGinn’s popularity in immigrant communities eats away at Harrell’s Southeast Seattle base.
Spirit animal: UW Husky.
Base supporters: Oh god, we feel uncomfortable saying it, but black and Asian voters, we guess. We mean, it’s not like Harrell doesn’t talk a lot about his Japanese/African American heritage on the campaign trail.
Little-known fact: A Garfield High School and University of Washington star, he was recently inducted into the Pacific Northwest Football Hall of Fame. Vision for Seattle’s future: Bellevue.
Key endorsements: Former Seattle mayor Wes Uhlman, King County Council member Larry Gossett, the Seattle Building & Construction Trades Council, 11th and 37th District Democrats.
Amount raised: $203,474.
Latest polling: 12 percent.
Kate Martin
Neighborhood Activist
“Call me. Meet me for coffee. Tell your friends about me. Beg them to meet me for coffee.”
Greatest strength: The Greenwood neighborhood activist always makes a point of remembering people’s names.
Greatest weakness: While she ran for Seattle school board in 2011, Martin has never held an elected office. (Some say she lost that race, but she likes to think she almost won.)
Medium weakness: Often confused with Mary Martin.
Little-known fact: Kate Martin is running for mayor! Spirit animal: Pet rock.
Base supporters: Trick question.
Vision for Seattle’s future: Panhandling is punished by death, and sidewalks abound in far-flung neighborhoods.
Biggest enemies: Every qualified mayoral candidate.
Key endorsements: Does family count?
Amount raised: $2,847.
Latest polling: 4 percent.
RESPONSIBLY RAISED, SKILLFULLY MADE.
SERVING TWO ACRES OF CILANTRO EVERY DAY.
We believe that it’s not enough to source the best ingredients we can find, but to also prepare them with great skill and care. We actually cook in our restaurants—chopping, marinating, grilling, mixing, mashing, shredding, whisking, sautéing and slicing—by hand, every day. While cooking by hand can add subtle variations from day to day—variety is, after all, the spice of life.
Joey Gray
Librarian, Ultimate Frisbee Pioneer
“Disc in! Also, climate change!”
How she can win: Massive voter fraud.
Greatest weakness: Nobody but her close personal friends and family have any idea who she is.
Medium weakness: Not actually a baby kangaroo.
Spirit animal: Baby kangaroo.
Base supporters: The 12 people who have contributed to her campaign.
Little-known fact: Was a pioneer in the sport of Ultimate Frisbee, serving “as liaison between all flying disc sports and the International Olympic movement.”
Vision for Seattle’s future: Lots more Frisbees.
Biggest enemies: Reality.
Key endorsements: [This space intentionally left blank.]
Amount raised: $5,008.
Latest polling: None.
Charlie Staadecker
Owner of Staadecker Real Estate
“You’ll like me better or my name isn’t Charlie Staadecker.”
Greatest strength: The fourthgeneration Seattleite and Franklin High School grad is sweetly avuncular—and a wealthy real-estate broker.
Second-greatest strength: Bow-tie collection.
Greatest weakness: Being the old-school businessman’s candidate in a young, liberal city.
Medium weakness: No one’s ever heard of him until now.
Spirit animal: Orville Redenbacher.
Base supporters: Dale Chihuly (who maxed out to Staadecker’s campaign), other wealthy business owners, his adoring wife, the bow-tie industry.
Little-known fact: His wife ties his bow ties!
Vision for Seattle’s future: A chicken in every pot and a bow tie on every neck!
Biggest enemies: Regular ties.
Key endorsements: Dapper gentlemen.
Amount raised: $177,511.
Latest polling: 4 percent.
Doug McQuaid Attorney
“I’m one mustache less qualified to run for office than Randy Quaid.”
How he can win: If every other candidate in the race dies, along with most registered Seattle voters, McQuaid may stand a fighting chance.
Greatest weakness: Bats!
Medium weakness: Doesn’t play well with others.
Little-known fact: Last year, when he ran for judge, the King County Bar Association rated him: “Refused to cooperate.”
Spirit animal: Tequila.
Base supporters: Sadly, bats.
Amount raised: $0.00.
Latest polling: None. n
PHOTO: Jeff Shanes
GREEN PROVIDERS
The Pot Lottery Is a Bad Idea
Drawing Lots for Retail Licenses Guarantees
Shenanigans
By Ben Livingston
L
ast month, the state announced a proposal to hold a lottery for cannabis retail licenses if it receives more applications for pot stores than it intends to approve. The lottery will be held for each county, and the lucky few who win will essentially hold a golden ticket worth far more than the $250 application fee.
This is a terrible idea.
Arizona ran a similar lottery last year, after citizens voted to allow about 135 medical cannabis dispensaries across the state. The Arizona Department of Health Services divided the licenses among 126 so-called community health analysis areas. Some of those areas are in sparsely populated, rural parts of the state, and few people applied for those licenses. But in cities, including Phoenix and Tucson, the lottery pool was chock
full of ticket buyers. The artificial scarcity in dispensary licensing led to several peculiar business dealings.
For example, some entrepreneurs made back-end agreements to work with others if any party in the pact won a license (effectively allowing a person to buy more than one lottery ticket and increase the chances of winning). But dispensary owners have filed several lawsuits concerning these types of arrangements, when one party holding a winning lottery ticket allegedly refused to abide by their back-end agreement.
In some cases, consultants who helped clients apply for licenses have ended up filing lawsuits.
Dr. Bruce Bedrick, an Arizona-based chiropractor and pot-vending-machine seller, opened a firm to help potential applicants. According to Maricopa County’s online records, Bedrick and his company commenced two civil suits against clients who successfully obtained a license.
If we make the same mistake in Washington State and implement a lottery for retail cannabis licenses, we will likely see bizarre business deals, a high-stakes-poker mentality, and needless lawsuits over pot stores. I say the state should ditch the lottery proposal and instead process applications as they come, without artificially inflating the value of retail pot licenses. n
SOURCES SAY
• On June 17, the Seattle City Council gave preliminary approval to legislation that would establish a citywide property tax for publicly funding council races, beginning in 2015. Residents are expected to vote on the referendum this November. If approved, the measure would grant up to $140,000 in public financing during the primary election (and up to $250,000 total). To qualify, candidates would need to collect 600 donations of $50 or less from Seattle residents.
• There’s just one problem: Seattle Districts Now, the initiative to turn seven of Seattle’s nine city council seats into positions elected by districts, is also headed for the November ballot. If both measures pass, the public-campaign-financing legislation will be rendered mostly useless because it applies only to the two citywide council races left—the seven district races wouldn’t benefit from any public financing. Council members had a chance to fix the legislation’s flaw on Monday via amendment, proposed by progressive council members Nick Licata and Mike O’Brien, but the council rejected it. Why should lawmakers fix flaws in legislation when they can simply overlook them? “I don’t know whether this really makes sense,” said befuddled Council Member Richard Conlin
TIGER HEALTH CLINIC
• In goat news: The city has hired—in a grand civic tradition—a company called Rent-a-Ruminant that promises “to get the job done without noisy machinery.” The goat lessor has stationed 120 of the creatures under the Alaskan Way Viaduct to eat the “delicious overgrowth,” according to parks department officials. Now the city needs to rent some animals that can silently replace leaf blowers.
• Mayor Mike McGinn confirms that he’s been in talks with the National Hockey League about transferring a team to Seattle. The Phoenix Coyotes could move into KeyArena in time for the 2013–204 season, according to a report that first surfaced on the CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada. NHL commissioner Gary Bettman has reportedly given the Glendale City Council a July 2 deadline to cut a $15-million-a-year arena subsidy deal, or he’ll sell the team to investors looking to move it to Seattle. “We believe we can support an NHL team as a tenant at KeyArena,” said McGinn.
• Turncoat senate majority leader Rodney Tom (who was elected as a Democrat but switched teams to lead a Republican majority in Olympia) has confidently predicted that “there will be no government shutdown,” reports the Associated Press. How can he be so sure of a budget deal before the end of the current biennium on June 30? The buzz among Olympia lobbyists is that a large contingent of his Majority Coalition Caucus, led by Senator Don Benton (R-Vancouver), is scheduled to leave on a foreign junket before July 1. n
TIGER HEALTH CLINIC
Why Was I Thinking About Pat Buchanan, Gay Bars, and AIDS While Colorado Burned?
by dan savage
Four hundred homes went up in flames in Colorado last week.
“Nature Takes a Fiery Toll Despite a Community’s Efforts to Prepare,” a June 14 New York Times headline read. They’re calling 2013 the “most destructive wildfire season in Colorado history.” The last wildfire season they described that way? That would be last year’s wildfire season—the 2012 wildfire season—when 600 homes and countless acres in Colorado burned.
According to research cited in the New York Times, six of Colorado’s worst wildfire seasons have taken place since 2000.
Reading about the wildfires in Colorado— particularly that “Nature Takes a Fiery Toll” piece—reminded of something the conservative Christian commentator/terrified white man/bigoted straight person Pat Buchanan had to say about “nature” back in 1983. And it was the second time in less than a month that Buchanan’s three-decade-old remark sprang to mind.
The first time was back on May 17, when This American Life devoted an entire episode to the subject of climate change (“Hot in My Backyard”). The first third of the show featured a report from Julia Kumari Drapkin on the extreme weather conditions in Colorado in 2012: Record-breaking temperatures were reported all over the state, flowers bloomed earlier than usual, pollination patterns were out of whack, the state saw the
lowest spring snowfalls in its history (snow equals water supply in Colorado), crops dried up and died in the fields, there was an outbreak of West Nile virus, bears came down from the mountains to kill and eat livestock because there wasn’t enough food for them in the woods—and then fires started.
Colorado state climatologist Nolan Doesken, the central figure in Drapkin’s report, knows what’s behind the “weirding” of Colorado’s weather: man-made climate change. But Doesken is reluctant to level with Colorado’s ranchers about why their world is burning down around them. They know something is wrong.
wrong. Or rigged. Or inconclusive. The medical establishment was homophobic and couldn’t be trusted. The federal bureaucracy was dominated by religious conservatives and couldn’t be trusted. Messengers were shot. Larry Kramer, the founder of ACT UP, was called a fearmonger and a drama queen. Randy Shilts, a gay journalist who called for the closure of San Francisco’s bathhouses, was spit on in the Castro. The first grassroots AIDS activists who tried to pass out condoms were chased out of bars.
“Taking a stand can be dangerous,” Drapkin pointed out in her report. “In recent years, climatologists in four states have lost their positions because of what they said publicly about climate change— Oregon, Virginia, Delaware, and Georgia. Democratic governors got rid of climatologists who didn’t embrace climate change, and a Republican fired two who did.”
Colorado has trended blue in the last two national elections—it went for Barack Obama in 2008 and 2012—and the state currently has a Democratic governor. But Colorado has historically been a conservative state (it went for Bush in 2000 and 2004), and the ranchers Doesken answers to are far more conservative than the average voter. And conservative voters don’t believe in climate change—not even conservative ranchers who are witnessing its effects firsthand.
“The fact is the people most directly affected by climate change around the state are also the most likely not to believe it’s real,” Drapkin stated in her report. “And they say all the reasons you’ve probably heard: It’s a liberal conspiracy, or God’s in charge, or the science is wrong or rigged or inconclusive. Even the word ‘environmentalist’ can trigger outrage.”
When a rancher Drapkin interviewed realized that she was doing a report on climate change, he chased after her in his fourwheeler and threatened to smash her recording equipment—a shoot-the-messenger moment caught on tape.
“Climate change is the last thing a lot of farmers and ranchers want to hear [about],” Drapkin sadly concluded. “They stand to lose so much if climate models come true.”
Those climate-changedenying Colorado ranchers sound like those faggots who stood around in gay bars in 1983 insisting that AIDS couldn’t be sexually transmitted.
“It’s not right. Nothing about this is right,” one rancher told Drapkin. This rancher, like all of Colorado’s ranchers, relies on the state climatologist for predictions about weather patterns when determining what to plant (or whether to plant) and just how much livestock they will be able to support with the land. Telling these ranchers “what the weather has done, what it is doing, and what it will do” is Nolan Doesken’s job. But he is afraid to do his job. He’s afraid to tell Colorado ranchers the truth—and he has cause to be afraid.
Listening to the ranchers in Drapkin’s report—hearing the anger, denial, and fear in their voices—took me back 30 years. They sounded like another group of people whose world was on fire and who also couldn’t bring themselves to face reality. They sounded like people I used to know. They sounded like those faggots who stood around in gay bars in 1983 insisting that AIDS couldn’t be a sexually transmitted infection. Even as their friends lay dying, even as more of their friends and lovers became sick, they couldn’t accept that sex had anything to do with this terrifying new illness.
So what was AIDS if it wasn’t a sexually transmitted infection? It was a conservative conspiracy, they said. Or the science was
Stupid, stupid faggots. Insisting that it wasn’t true—insisting that AIDS couldn’t be sexually transmitted, or insisting that AIDS wasn’t that serious because “only” 1,500 gay men were sick in the summer of 1983—didn’t prevent a pandemic. It was true. It was deadly serious. We would have to live very differently if we wanted to survive in this world. We would have to fight back. We would have to transform ourselves sexually, socially, and politically. And we did that, all of that, but precious time was wasted before gay men began to make the changes that had to be made, and countless lives were lost as a result of the denial and delay that paralyzed us in 1983.
Which brings me to Pat Buchanan. In 1983, Buchanan wrote a vicious column for the New York Post about the emerging AIDS crisis. Buchanan gloated and celebrated a disease that had already killed hundreds and would go on to kill millions. Buchanan’s reaction wasn’t unique; almost all social conservatives at the time welcomed the AIDS epidemic with unconcealed glee. God’s judgment had come at last, and it vindicated everything the TV preachers had been saying since Stonewall. Homosexuals were sinners, the wages of sin is death, and now the homosexual sinners were dying. Praise the Lord.
The last line of Buchanan’s acid column was etched into my brain the day I read it: “The poor homosexuals—they have declared war on nature, and now nature is exacting an awful retribution.”
That line—17 words—stung more than all the antigay sermons thundering down from the pulpits of all the American churches combined. Writing this piece, I didn’t even have to look it up. I could recite it from memory. We had long been told that gay sex was unnatural—that we were unnatural—and now nature was moving to exterminate us.
Every time I read about fires in Colorado or rising seas or Canadian tar sands or Native villages already being washed away in Alaska or preparations for the next hurricane that slams into New York City, a slightly modified version of Buchanan’s vicious line about AIDS plays in my head. We have declared war on nature, and now nature is exacting an awful retribution.
We have declared war on the water we drink and the air we breathe. We have declared war on the forests and the oceans. We have declared war on the honeybees. All of us have—liberal, conservative, independent. Some of us, however, are ready to start making the changes that must be made if we want to survive in this world.
But the conservatives, the poor conservatives, they’re like those faggots in gay bars in 1983. They’re standing around, drinks in hand, insisting that the conflagration currently engulfing them—the conflagration that is engulfing us all—isn’t happening. That it can’t be happening. But just as denial and anger and shooting messengers didn’t save those gay men in Chicago’s bars in 1983, denial and anger won’t save Colorado’s ranchers in 2013. Nature is exacting an awful retribution.
The only question is how much time will be wasted and how many lives will be lost as a result of denial and delay this time. n
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MIKE FREIHEIT
Once More with Feeling
BRIAN NEEL brings a dextrous, knowing innocence to many of his roles, something between vaudeville and Beckett—as Lobdell captures with this wide-eyed look and those kittens. He’ll appear in Waiting for Godot at the Seattle Fringe Festival this fall.
THow LaRae Lobdell, a Photographer No One Had Ever Heard of a Year Ago, Changed the Way We See Seattle Theater by Brendan Kiley
heater press photos can be an editor’s nightmare. I can’t count the number of times I’ve reenacted this scene at The Stranger: The print deadline is hours away, and I’m upstairs with the art director, sifting through promotional shots for local productions. We’re running multiple reviews that week and have room for only one image—but they’re all wretchedly staid, with costumed actors in goofy poses, and about as flattering as fluorescent lighting.
June 20–Oct 17
There are exceptions (dance photography tends to be better, since dance is so visual to begin with), but even the best plays tend to advertise themselves with photos that look like they were taken at a tackily themed prom.
In early 2012, photographer LaRae Lobdell began a one-woman mission to change that. She wanted, in her words, to reinvent “the visual landscape of theater culture.” By taking pro bono portraits of actors, writers, directors, and designers, as well as more conceptual production shots—capturing a mood instead of just another put-on-your-costume-andstand-over-there moment—she’s altered the way we see Seattle performers. Her project has been so successful that, starting this week, ACT Theater is hosting an exhibition of more than 200 of her photographs, all of them taken in the last year and a half. Lobdell grew up on a subsistence farm in Eastern
Washington and was mostly homeschooled, but she found her way to photography via community college. She wound up in Seattle and set up shop as a wedding photographer. Eventually, she got bored— plus, she said, “I wanted my summers back”—and started looking for a personal project to get her out of the wedding rut. Around the same time, a friend began introducing her to Seattle’s theater crowd. Lobdell, who describes herself as an introvert, was hooked on the outsize personalities and dynamism of the people she was meeting, but dismayed at the sterility of their marketing photos.
“Most of those images could’ve been shot any year, anywhere,” she said last week, sitting in her sunny studio across the street from Gas Works Park. “There’s no intrigue.”
TRIEU TRAN and his father, refugees from Vietnam, turned to gang life after mainstream America rejected them. In this Lodbell shot, taken while Tran was performing at ACT during a solo tour last fall, he reads as a tough guy—the railway, the cigarette, the leaningforward aggressiveness.
relationships with artists she’s interested in.”
Lobdell’s ability to evoke a show’s aesthetic was refreshing for newspapers, too. Just a few months after starting her project, she was being prominently and regularly featured in The Stranger, the Seattle Times, and elsewhere. “The secret sauce for her is taking the time to get to know people and shoot them in an environment that reflects their personality,” said AJ Epstein, proprietor of West of Lenin. “She very, very quickly became the ‘it girl’ of Seattle performing-arts photographers. She went from nobody knowing who she was to everybody knowing who she was in a matter of weeks.”
Lobdell set out to reinvent “the visual landscape of theater culture.”
So she began to offer her services, first shooting for White Hot at West of Lenin, and quickly built new relationships—with Washington Ensemble Theater, ACT, Intiman, and others—from there.
“She started pretty insular, with who we think of as already visible in the Seattle theater community,” said Caitlin Sullivan of the Satori Group, a performance ensemble that has been photographed by Lobdell. “But she has reached out in interesting ways—I’ve watched her expand her gaze and begin to follow smaller companies and develop longer-term
Lobdell’s project has also paid unexpected dividends: While taking pictures of artists in Intiman’s summer festival last year, she got a few minutes to photograph Dan Savage, who was in the middle of directing his musical Miracle! at the time. A few months later, she got an e-mail from his publishers—they wanted to use one of her photos for the cover of Savage’s new book. As Lobdell’s project demonstrates, there’s really no point in waiting to be invited to do something. Sometimes it’s best to just do it. ■
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Celebration!
LaRae Lobdell at ACT Theater
K.
Lobdell nailed the mood of THE FAIRYTALE LIVES OF RUSSIAN GIRLS at Washington Ensemble Theater last October—a gloomy, sexy noir about magic and murder in contemporary Moscow.
15th annual Rainbow Women’s Health Fair
Saturday, June 29 | Noon - 4 p.m. All Pilgrims Church, 500 Broadway E, Seattle
Marijuana 101 –Facts you should know:
Marijuana is illegal for anyone under 21 unless prescribed by a physician.
Frequent marijuana use can lead to addiction (1 in 6 youths; 1 in 9 adults).
It is illegal to use marijuana in public. It is illegal to gift or share marijuana.
It is a felony to provide marijuana to a minor.
Driving under the influence of marijuana is a crime.
Many employers still drug test for marijuana. It is illegal to purchase marijuana until licensed stores open in December 2013.
Marijuana remains illegal according to federal law.
theSTRANGER SUGGESTS
11th Annual Rosé Revival
WINE
This festival of rosé (yay!) takes place at Ray’s Boathouse, with a sparkling Puget Sound sunset view that’ll knock your socks off (though hopefully you’ll be wearing sandals). It’s the ideal setting for drinking delicious pink wine (and salmon-colored, too; they’re the best) from more than 30 Washington wineries, with summery white wines and snacks, too. If the weather is crummy, keep drinking and take solace in the knowledge that it’s a fundraiser for Save Our Wild Salmon. (Ray’s Boathouse, 6049 Seaview Ave NW, wildsalmon.org/events/upcomingevents, 6–9 pm, $35) BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT
Colin Stetson
A first-call session horn man for many indie-rock bands and a collaborator with icons such as Laurie Anderson and Tom Waits, Colin Stetson has forged an engrossing solo canon, too. On works like his New History Warfare trilogy, he uses his bass saxophone and other brass instruments as weapons of mass deconstruction. Stetson’s compositions exude a seething power and unusual beauty in a minimalist context, breathing fire, not academic dust. Don’t blow it: Catch this intense master exhale spiritual magic. (Barboza, 925 E Pike St, thebarboza .com, 7 pm, $13 adv, 21+) DAVE SEGAL
POETRY
Rich Smith, Sarah Galvin, Willie Fitzgerald
To celebrate the launch of his new chapbook, Great Poem of Desire and Other Poems, Rich Smith is promising “chocolate and champagne” at the fabulous Vermillion. Plus Stranger contributor Sarah Galvin will read her almost impossibly funny poems, and Willie Fitzgerald—of the Stranger Genius Award–nominated APRIL book festival—will read a story. What else do you need to know? Would it help if I told you that Smith is a very good poet, too? He tends to write about lust and booze and dresses. There will be all three at this event (Vermillion, 1508 11th Ave, vermillionseattle.com, 7 pm, free) PAUL CONSTANT
Fried Chicken Friday
CHOW There are those who will say that $19 is too much to spend for a fried-chicken dinner. Fine. More fried chicken for me, then. The Wandering Goose’s dedicated Southern aesthetic makes this meal—three huge, not-toogreasy pieces of chicken with three sides (including rich macaroni and cheese, and creamy mashed potatoes and gravy) and an enormous fluffy biscuit—one of Seattle’s best plates of chicken outside of the Kingfish Cafe. You almost never find such a perfect mixture of delicate flavors and stick-to-your-ribs satisfaction on one plate, making this absolutely worth the splurge. (The Wandering Goose, 403 15th Ave E, thewandering goose.com, 5 pm, $19) PAUL CONSTANT
“The Rolling Stones” MUSIC
One of Seattle’s best cover bands, “The Rolling Stones” are a band you’d want see even if it wasn’t for a good cause, which this show is—Noise for the Needy has been throwing awesome live-music benefits for local charities since 2004. I’m positive our “Rolling Stones” are better than the actual, geriatric Rolling Stones. Just think about how expensive and crowded real Stones concerts are! And how old Mick Jagger is! Doesn’t watching some of Seattle’s most talented musicians cover the crap out of those songs, up close and sweaty, seem infinitely better? (Hattie’s Lot Party, 5260 Shilshole Ave NW, noisefortheneedy.com, 2–9 pm, $15, 21+) EMILY NOKES
MON JUNE 24
Deconstructing the Beatles: Tomorrow Never
Knows
MUSIC/FILM
Last year, Beatles scholar Scott Freiman visited SIFF with his multimedia deconstruction of the Beatles’ White Album, and people loved it so much that SIFF has brought him back for an encore and more. Following a repeat of the White Album (Sat, 4:30 pm) and a new program on the band’s early years (Sun, 12:30 pm), Freiman will present Tomorrow Never Knows, a deconstruction of the much-heralded Revolver, whose compositions, production techniques, and cultural import will be explored via “a treasure trove of rare audio and video.” (SIFF Cinema Uptown, 511 Queen Anne Ave N, siff.net, 4:30 pm, $15) DAVID SCHMADER
‘An Oversimplification of Her Beauty’ FILM
In Terence Nance’s An Oversimplification of Her Beauty, the hypnotic rhythm of the off-camera commentary, the editing, and the photography become more and more musical as the plot progresses deeper into the soul of the main character (played by the director) who is in love with a young woman, Namik Minter. Namik, however, only wants to be Terence’s friend. He sleeps with her, hangs out with her, but never reaches third base with her. Oversimplification may be the first feature film that successfully expresses a cinematic black aesthetic. Watch it and you will see what I mean. (Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St, grandillusion cinema.org, 7 and 9 pm, $8, June 21–27) CHARLES MUDEDE
Julie Blackmon: ‘Undertow’
If you are allergic to big, pretty pictures, stay away from Julie Blackmon’s photographs. But their glossy surfaces coat shadowy domestic setups: children out of control or with too much control, surrounded by a level of household wealth that promises bright order and results in light horror. Blackmon is a Missouri mom of three and the eldest of nine children; she emerged as a photographer around a decade ago. Her last solo show at G. Gibson Gallery was six years ago. Undertow is all new work. (G. Gibson Gallery, 300 S Washington St, ggibsongallery.com, by appointment, free, through July 13) JEN GRAVES
Rich Smith
ARTS
ART
The Bodies’ Demise
Making People, Then Melting Them Down
BY JEN GRAVES
Awax museum is spooky enough, but imagine one that’s empty because the bodies have all been destroyed by fire. In the chaotic studio of artists Steph Kese and Erin Pollock, the outlines and traces of people still appear—in drawings and paintings that plaster the wall, in 15,000 photographs and 50 gigs of video footage—but the wax figures themselves are gone. The artists liquefied them all.
Kese and Pollock searched the city for interesting-looking people willing to be their subjects. Each of the 17 people was coated in plaster, with an orange straw sticking out each nostril. When the plaster hardened, the human was extricated, and the artists filled the molds with combinations of various waxes, Crisco, butter, Vaseline, and oils. (Each material hardened and melted differently, and took on different appearances and
behaviors—the artists were running a materials lab as well as a studio, making charts of melting points and so forth.) Once the wax set inside the plaster, the artists hacked off the white plaster surface to reveal what they called the “beige babies.”
In the process, deformations occurred, strange encrustations appearing, chunks of flesh tearing off with the plaster. So the next phase was plastic surgery and cosmetics: smoothing the flaws, painting the eyes, hair, clothing, tattoos, nail polish, makeup, birthmarks. Each clone emerges slowly, a fictional creature with almost exactly the same features as a real person.
The artists invented life stories for each one. For photo shoots, they placed the subjects in staged situations, precisely arranged and lit. This sometimes meant hours of holding the bodies up to their own, sweating along with them under the lights.
In the final photographs, the white-haired man with the cruelly deep wrinkles is seen sitting on the stoop of the Publix with a suitcase; he happens to be based on a casting of John Boylan, the Seattle man who for years has hosted casual monthly bar-side discussions about art. Occasionally, the artists cast a couple, together. The man with the beard and the woman with the braid—the only casting that remains in the studio, still in their “beige baby” stage—cling so tightly, they collapse on each other.
Finally, once the characters are as lifelike as they can get, perfectly sculpted and painted, posed and captured, the artists destroy them.
The bodies are hauled to Georgetown for their demise. In a covered area outside Equinox Studios, there’s a custom-built melting plate made to do this strange work. The plate is four by eight feet, made of welded steel suspended over a bed of propane pipes and sturdy feet, the whole contraption weighing a
LOOSE LIPS
• Landmark’s Egyptian Theater on Pine and Broadway is closing after 24 years of showing independent movies. The last day is June 27, but no one knows what’s next for the 1915 building, originally built as a Masonic Temple, eventually used as a wrestling arena, and the early home of the Seattle International Film Festival. A spokeswoman for Seattle Central Community College, the building’s owner, said it was New York–based Landmark’s decision to leave. Landmark’s money problems are well-known, but so are cost-cutting SCCC’s. Lauren Kleiman of Landmark said the two were “unable to come to mutually agreeable terms” while renegotiating the lease, and that everyone working there is expected to lose their jobs. SCCC’s Janet Grimley says they are “open to suggestions or ideas” for what to do with the space. How about an independent movie theater?
• In a speech at Roosevelt High School’s graduation ceremony last Wednesday, local novelist David Guterson spoke about how when he was 18, he was obsessed with “an awareness of [mortality] while I was having so much fun, and the way I dealt with it was by telling myself that old age and death were way off in the future, that I had a lot of time, that I would deal with it later.” But death always loomed, no matter what, and now he’s a novelist whose best days are way behind him (we’re paraphrasing, of course). Guterson was reportedly heckled by parents and students who thought the speech was too negative. They were wrong; it was at least something other than a string of cliches. To the graduates, The Stranger would like to offer our congratulations on surviving the easiest part of your lives.
• Polarizing New York novelist Tao Lin said at his Taipei reading on Monday night at Elliott Bay Book Company: “My inner monologue is a constant diatribe against reviews… A lot of reviews are seeming spam-bot written. Something about irony, and then just…” His voice trailed off. After the reading, full of Lin-like awkwardness, he was seen eating a taco salad at Bimbo’s with his hands “I completely forgot about forks,” he said, when someone offered him a fork.
thousand pounds. For each burning, an artist wielding a blowtorch adds to the propanepowered blue flames, while the other works a still camera. A video camera is trained on the proceedings.
The first sign of change is color streaming out from the body in horizontal rivulets, running off the sides of the plate onto the floor. The body submerges slowly into these liquids, slinking down as surrounding areas bubble and boil. Kese and Pollock get only one chance to see each meticulously crafted body obliterated.
Viewed afterward, each video is a murder scene and a resurrection. Play it forward, and the bodies liquesce peacefully. If they’ve been set in the midst of wax props, like hundreds of flowers, those melt first, welcomingly. Then
• The paintings of Seattle artist Steve Jensen have now been to outer space and back. Gaming giant Richard Garriott happened to be at a party at Jensen’s 10th Avenue studio, where he heard Jensen explaining why he has been making art about boats for 20 years—paintings of boats that seem to float on water rather than in it, rising toward otherworldly moonlight; sculptures of boats that seem dredged up from unknown depths, made of glass and metal embedded with pearls and other marvelous materials. The first work of boat-art was for a dying friend, the next to contain his Viking-descended father’s ashes, then one for his late partner, then his mother… so the boat became his life’s work. Garriott decided on the spot to take Jensen’s boats toward the unknown, where they seemed so much to want to go. He included two of the paintings in a 12-piece exhibition of art that went up in a spaceship, came back, and was auctioned to benefit space education for kids. ■
KESEYPOLLOCK
BORN TO BURN These are the wax creations of KeseyPollock.
Photo by Mark Kitaoka
the tips of the fingers go, and the edges of the backs and legs, as if all that were happening was a little sinking. Then the arms are all the way under, the chest, the cheeks, the eyelids, eyelashes, nose. Gone. What remains is a steaming, swirling soup.
Played in reverse, the bodies rise up from their materials like, maybe, events at the beginning of the world, if the beginning of the world were now, and if the swirling mass spit out fully formed women wearing makeup and short skirts and carrying spray-paint cans. (That particular character was featured in her photographs as a graffiti writer on a dark street.)
The artists aren’t sad when the bodies melt. They’ve spent weeks working on their cold and clammy skins, propping up their heavy bulks, holding their boneless weights in place to shoot photos. They’ve known only corpses. Then, when they burn, these characters come to life. “It’s so good,” Pollock said. “They get a little bit of life when they melt. Especially as we’ve found ways to turn their heads during it.”
Pollock is a native of Alaska, Kese is from Seattle (she sometimes is called Kesey, but that’s a mistranslation of what the pair originally intended as “Kese y Pollock”), and they met at Whitman College. After going their separate ways—Pollock to Florence to study painting and Kese to Buenos Aires for film— they eventually did a joint show of cast-wax sculptures in Anchorage, and then were invited to do a public commission. It’s a backlit wall, and protruding from it are the cast faces of 52 residents of an Anchorage neighborhood, selected during camp-out sessions in a grocery store (“Sugar aisle! Come quick!” one would text the other). They finished it in 2010, and then by 2012, they’d raised more than $45,000 on Kickstarter to do this project in Seattle. Now, in an empty Belltown storeroom that once housed Egbert’s furniture (it melted away, too), they’ll introduce these characters—then take them away. First you’ll see the photographs. Then videos. “So many people told us to keep them,” Kese said. But they didn’t. ■
BOOKS
A Beautiful Map
Walking Across America with Ed Skoog
BY PAUL CONSTANT
Hugo House felt especially inviting last Thursday for the launch party of Ed Skoog’s new book, Rough Day. A band played bluegrass music, people milled about and picked at a deli tray, and there was a whole lot of hugging and drinking and laughter. When Skoog finally got behind the podium, he lavished the crowd with wave after wave of thanks, all bestowed in his warm voice, which makes everything he says sound like a gift given to a trusted friend in confidence.
Skoog thanked Christine Deavel and John Marshall, the proprietors of Open Books, recalling that when he “came to Seattle after graduate school and started learning things… more of my education came from Open Books than anything else.” He told a story about a friend who “did a lot of public pissing. That’s what he was known for, was peeing.” He thanked his friends for reading copies of Rough Day in its unfinished forms: “I love that they have not told me that they defaced it with flame or water,” Skoog said, but he admitted to surprise when friends “said it made them feel sad.”
Rough Day, Skoog said, “is a document of joy,” though he acknowledged that it was
wrapped in a slightly gloomy package. The cover photograph, of Skoog’s mother as a child, frowning at the camera with her pet crow in her lap, did make the book look a little gothy, he suggested, and the title sounds troubling, but he intended the “Rough” to simultaneously mean “difficult” but also “unfinished,” as in a sketch. If it helped to lighten the mood, Skoog suggested, readers could pencil a smile or a little mustache onto the cover, but he warned the audience not to take the defacements too far: “This is my mother, after all.”
In between poems, Skoog explained his intentions for Rough Day: It’s “all about music,” from the “rugged mandolin playing of Bill Monroe” to “New Orleans piano.” The book spans Skoog’s time in New Orleans and Seattle, and a year spent taking long walks around Washington, DC, and ultimately, he said, “this is a book that travels a lot.”
That’s the first thing that strikes you about the segmented, book-length poem that makes up Rough Day: It flits from place to place, from warm marshes to burning prairies to canals, taking a stroll across the country, hanging around highway off-ramps and bus stops, and “walking late at night/past the White House.” It’s a poem as broad as the country, as wide as a life, and as slender as a single line of thought.
REVIEW
Rough Day by Ed Skoog (Copper Canyon Press, $16)
Skoog’s perambulatory pace gives him the time to focus on the details. Just before he sets out from graduate school for Seattle, he watches an abandoned hospital on his college campus being torn down: “I watch brick tumble/what has already become dust in me.” He considers where he’s been with that same impassive traveler’s eye for detail: “my brother is an orange/crate of records/on a car hood/ playlists for silences ahead/my father is a plaid armchair that smokes.” To call Rough Day a map is too limiting—most maps are constructed of two flat axes, while this book is shot through the middle with a spray of arrows marking geography and time and loss and hope—but “map” is still the most accurate word I have for it.
And there is great joy in Rough Day, intimations of delicious seafood at out-of-theway restaurants and a tourist’s unabashed awe at walking in and around monuments in Washington, DC. But get a load of this:
gun I counseled all year in my Army-Navy coat
cold water against my temple black night pointed at the frenzy mute: whatever it thought
it never spoke its six bullets soft ducklings behind their mother
That’s some kind of audaciousness, right there: an oily black admission of desperation of the sort that would make Sylvia Plath blush, followed immediately by the image of bullets like baby ducks all in a row. It’s such a surprisingly adorable, out-of-nowhere comparison that your eye catches on it and lingers in admiration. But then you take a breath and you have to wonder who the mother is in this scenario.
Is Skoog picturing his brain as the leader of this ballistic Make Way for Ducklings parade, an instrument of velocity and death? Or is the mother duck absent, the way Skoog’s family is represented by their absence in the poems, as a collection of things left scattered on the ground after an accident? The overt answers in the text, as Skoog said in his own
sensitivity to non-conformists & cultural outsiders, support for queer families, sex positive, social justice awareness
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JUNE 14-23, 2013
SEATTLE INTERNATIONAL DANCE FESTIVAL
Artists from: Brazil, Africa, Isreal, U.S. and more
FINAL WEEK!
Tickets: call 1-800-838-3006
Performances at Raisbeck Hall Cornish College of the Arts - 2015 Boren Ave. For information: www.SeattleIDF.org | 206-552-0694
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impossibly friendly voice, have been filed away. But he only filed them away so more important answers can come shining through the spaces he left. It’s such a beautiful sight that you won’t want to shield your eyes. ■
THEATER
Monsoon Season Continues
The Music of Hairspray Returns to the 5th Avenue, with America’s Newest Drag Superstar in Tow
BY DAVID SCHMADER
Jerick Hoffer has been a celebrated Seattle talent since his Sondheim-singing drag persona Jinkx Monsoon started blowing minds at Re-bar’s trashy drag night Bacon Strip (RIP). This spring, Hoffer took a quantum leap skyward on the fifth season of RuPaul’s Drag Race. When Jinkx was named the season’s winner, a very specific type of Seattle talent (freakishly gifted, almost as freakishly humble) ascended to a new level of fame.
This week, Monsoon will play Velma Von Tussle in a 10th-anniversary concert performance of the musical Hairspray, featuring a full orchestra and 150 members of the Seattle Men’s Chorus. Last week, I chatted up Hoffer via phone from Boston, where he was continuing his post–Drag Race victory tour.
What’s your history with Hairspray? Is it something you grew up loving?
When the musical came out, I hadn’t seen John Waters’s original, so I watched it, and then went to see the musical. They’re really, really different, and I wish they could’ve brought more of John Waters’s aesthetic to the musical, but once you let go of the movie, you realize it’s a really well-written musical.
Plus, in the musical, Velma is a much bigger role than in the film.
you watch yourself. I was nervous about doing the viewing party, because I hadn’t seen the episodes and I didn’t know what kind of embarrassing things they were going to show. But whenever anything embarrassing happened, the audience was cheering me on.
Enough about Drag Race—when do we get to see you in Grey Gardens: The Musical? Trust me, if they came knocking, I’d take it in a heartbeat. ■
THEATER
Faint Praise
A So-So Production of Lesser Works by Tom Stoppard
BY BRENDAN KILEY
DREVIEW Dogg’s Hamlet, Cahoot’s Macbeth Sound Theater Company at Center Theater Through June 23
ogg’s Hamlet, Cahoot’s Macbeth, two one-act riffs on Shakespeare and miscommunication, are not Tom Stoppard’s best work. The 1979 Broadway run closed after 28 performances, and it’s not hard to see why. The first one-act, Dogg’s Hamlet, feels like a stilted graduate-school experiment, not a fully realized play. (Stoppard has said it was inspired by a passage in Wittgenstein, which he wrote into the script.) It takes place among a pack of British schoolkids and their teachers who speak “dogg,” a language that uses English-sounding words but is not English. Here’s a typical exchange, with the English translation in parentheses: “Cretinous git?” (“What time is it, sir?”) “Trog poxy.” (“Half past three.”) “Cube, git.” (“Thank you, sir.”) It’s cute for a few minutes, but the charm wears off quickly. After some miscommunication with a frustrated deliveryman, who speaks plain English, the boys and teachers recite a 15-minute version of Hamlet, also in plain English. So far, so blah.
Yes! She’s the TV-station-owning villain! Of course, it’s traditional to have a male play the role of Edna Turnblad, but I’ve always felt they should also have a drag queen play Velma. I’ve always dreamed of clashing with another drag queen onstage.
Speaking of which, at least one bitchy queen on Drag Race tried to dis you as some sort of phony for your habit of “acting shy and nervous” before a performance, then bringing the fucking house down. I know you graduated from Cornish, and to me, this behavior seemed like an actor wrestling with all the typical prestage jitters and superstitions.
Totally. There are so many different ways of doing drag. Some people don’t really clock the transformation—they just put on drag and they’re in drag now. But Jinkx is a character I play. I put on drag, and it’s a whole different entity. Cornish was the best prep for Drag Race—it was all about learning to take critiques without letting them shut you down.
You watched the weekly broadcasts of Drag Race with a crowd at Julia’s on Broadway. What was that like?
It’s already surreal to be a character on your favorite show. It’s really surreal watching yourself with a roomful of people watching
Cahoot’s Macbeth is the funnier and more sinister half, inspired by real-life theater artists in Prague who were hounded by secret police and banned from the stage, so they began performing clandestine versions of Macbeth in people’s living rooms. In Cahoot’s, an unctuous inspector barges in on one of these performances, belittles the blacklisted actors (“Well, well, so now you’re sweeping floors, eh?”), and demands they continue the show while he sits and sneers.
Tall and blond with a smile that drips venom, Robert Hinds as the inspector works the stage like a seasoned Vegas showman—but his jokes are daggers. “Now listen, you stupid bastard,” he growls when one of the actors balks, “you’d better get rid of the idea that there’s a special Macbeth which you do when I’m not around, and some other Macbeth for when I am around which isn’t worth doing. You’ve only got one Macbeth. Because I’m giving this party and there ain’t no other.” He turns to the audience with a megawatt smile: “It’s what we call a one-party system!” Wocka-wocka. Hinds’s deft and multilayered menace— watching his character relish intimidating and stealing the spotlight from worthier actors—is the highlight of an otherwise so-so production of Tom Stoppard’s lesser works. ■
They performed clandestine versions of Macbeth in living rooms.
An evening with Groucho Now-June 30
He’s back! Awardwinning actor/director Frank Ferrante returns with his internationally renowned portrayal of legendary comedian Groucho Marx.
rapture, Blister, Burn
July 12-Aug 11
When Catherine and Gwen reconnect, both women attempt to find happiness by travelling a very bumpy road not taken, with surprising and hilarious results.
Construction Zone
July 23, Aug 27
The new hit play reading series returns. July’s installment is Battle Hymn by Jim Leonard. August’s is The Dangers of Electric Lightning by Ben Clawson.
ACT’s New Play Award
July 27 and 28
Come see the early readings of Red Earth, Gold Gate, Shadow Sky by Mark Jenkins, an exciting new play that will be produced in our 2014 Mainstage season.
buster simpson // surVeYor
FrYe Art museum // AlwAYs Free // FrYemuseum.org
A Talk by Akiko Fukai, Director of the Kyoto Costume Institute
Thursday, June 27, 7–8 pm
Akiko Fukai, Director of the Kyoto Costume Institute and curator of Seattle Art Museum’s special exhibition Future Beauty: 30 Years of Japanese Fashion, speaks on the exhibition and the enormous impact of Japanese fashion on the world scene, including the new aesthetics forged by visionaries such as Rei Kawakubo, Yohji Yamamoto, Issey Miyake and others.
Tickets may be purchased online, by phone (206.654.3210) or at the Ticketing Desk at any of SAM’s three sites.
SAM members: $5
Adults: $10
Students: $8
Seniors: $8
Image: Yohji Yamamoto, wool felt dress, Autumn/ Winter 1996, Collection of the Kyoto Costume Institute, photo by Takashi Hatakeyama.
Avant Garden Florist
art
Museums
H Frye Art Museu M Horizon: A huge projection of a video by acclaimed media vivisectionist Paul Pfeiffer is juxtaposed with a row of 14 cherished paintings from the Founding Collection pushed close together and aligned by their horizon lines. Neat! Through Sept 8. Buster Simpson // Surveyor: We can already thank Buster Simpson, elder of public art, for making bearable the Seatac rental car garage with his new and luminous Carbon Veil and now he’s working on the seawall renovation that will not only look good but also keep the city from falling into the Salish Sea. This exhibition is a retrospective for Simpson, detailing his immense contribution to public art and good citizenship. Free. Tues-Sun. Through Oct 6. 704 Terry Ave, 622-9250.
H Henry Art GAllery Out [o] Fashion Photography: Embracing Beauty extends New York scholar Deborah Willis’s journey to the heart of photography. This exhibition, created especially for the Seattle museum, looks at artistic and ethnographic photography—comparing the images collected by the Henry Art Gallery and the University of Washington Libraries, Special Collections. The result is a surprise bulldozing of the distinctions between high and low, ideal beauty and medical health, sex and sales. $10 suggested. Wed-Sun. Through Jul 7. 4100 15th Ave NE 543-2280.
Gallery
Openings
H FrAncine s eders
GAllery
Glen LaMar/Robert Jones : Sculptures that look like alien musical instruments and paintings that look like things you’d see from a plane, respectively. Free. Reception for LeMar Sun June 23, 2-4 pm, reception for Jones Thurs June 27, 6-8 pm. Tues-Sun. Through Jul 28. 6701 Greenwood Ave N, 782-0355.
H Hedreen GAllery, seAttle u niversity
Performative Fictions: conception, duration, and participation in performance : Three artists inhabit the gallery for two weeks apiece to create really long-form performances. In order, they are: Ben Beres, Alice Gosti, and DK Pan. Free. Wed-Sat. Through Jul 29. 901 12th Ave, 296-2244.
H JAMes HArris GAllery
Steve Davis: Back to the Garden: Following his portrait series on incarcerated youth and institutionalized mentally ill people, Davis turns his camera on self-identified “modern ‘hippies.’” Draw whatever conclusions from this progression you like. Suara Welitoff: Everything’s happening all the time: Washedout, polarized video poetry. Free. Reception Thurs June 20, 6-8 pm. Thurs-Sat. Through Aug 3. 604 Second Ave, 903-6220.
H MetHOd
METHODology: Carrie Bodle, Natasha Kuring, Reilly Sinanan, and Meghan Trainor display experimental work at the meaty intersection of psychology, sociology, science, and the visual at this new gallery. Free. Fri-Sat. Through Aug 3. 106 Third Ave S, 713-7819.
H PlAtFOrM GAllery
How to Stay Alive in the Woods: Naturalist painting, dioramas, and science projects collide and erupt in sculptures and paintings by Patte Loper. Free. Reception Thurs June 20, 6-8 pm. Tues-Sat. Through Jul 27. 114 Third Ave S, 323-2808.
H tOuGO cOFFee
History X, Contemporary Y : Painter and teaching artist Mark Takamichi Miller juries this group show that gets all up in the relationship between history, identity, and representation. Free. Reception Thurs June 20, 5-8 pm. Jun 20-Jul 31. 1410 18th Ave
Events
Art cAr B lOWOut
More than 50 overdecorated cars on display with underclothed bicyclists at the Fremont
Fair. Fremont, on the streets. Free. Sat June 21, 10 am-8 pm; Sun June 22, 11 am-6 pm.
H Artist tAlK WitH PAtte lOPer
The Brooklyn artist on How to Stay Alive in the Woods her fourth solo show at the gallery. Platform Gallery, 114 Third Ave S, 323-2808. Free. Sat June 22, 1 pm.
H cH ris JOrdAn lecture
The Seattle photographer offers an exploration of “fabled Midway Island,” a critical habitat in the middle of the Pacific Ocean as part of the Sightline Institute’s 20th anniversary speaker series. Town Hall 1119 Eighth Ave, 652-4255. $5. Wed June 19, 7:30-9 pm.
H sWi MMinG tHe list
Check out the open rehearsals for Stranger Genius Award winner Susie Lee’s fusion of dance, technology, and music before the ensemble leaves for the Beijing International Fringe Festival. The Project Room, 1315 E Pine St. Free. Mon-Wed June 24-26, 5-7 pm.
H WAlKinG tOur OF Alden MAsOn: in Me MOriAM 1919-2013 Co-curators Phen Huang and Greg Kucera offer a walking tour of this soon-to-close exhibition. Wright Exhibition Space 407 Dexter Ave N, 264-8200. Free. Sat June 22, noon.
visualart@thestranger.com
readings
Wed 6/19
H cHArles WOlFe Wolfe’s illustrated e-book, Urbanism Without Effort , is about how to make cities livelier and easier to live in. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave, 652-4255. $5. 6 pm.
H B reAdline suMMer editiOn Tonight’s outing of Capitol Hill’s most adventurous literary evening features readings from Joseph Hall, Christine Deavel, John Marshall, Benjamin Schmitt, and Wizdumb the Wax Molesta, with music by DJ Windows 95 and an open mic. Vermillion 1508 11th Ave, 709-9797. Free. 7 pm.
denise KiernAn The Girls of Atomic City: The Untold Story of the Women Who Helped Win World War II is about a town full of women who performed invaluable work for the Manhattan Project. Elliott Bay Book Company , 1521 10th Ave, 624-6600. Free. 7 pm. lAurie nOtArO Potty Mouth at the Table is a collection of humorous essays. University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400. Free. 7 pm.
Thurs 6/20
H nOviOlet B ulAWAyO The Zimbabwean author reads from her novel We Need New Names which is about a 10-year-old Zimbabwean immigrant. University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, 6343400. Free. 7 pm.
Fri 6/21
H JOnAtHAn sundstrOM, JAred stOne B erG
In 2004, Stranger writer Emily Hall referred to the restaurant Lark as “both easy and elegant,” and assured readers that “everything I’ve tasted there is delicious.” The restaurant has now delighted diners for a decade, and it’s still a pinnacle of Seattle dining experiences. In Lark: Cooking Against the Grain we get to see how the dishes are made. Seattle Public Library, 1000 Fourth Avenue, 386-4636. Free. 7 pm.
H MicHAel cOllier
An Individual History contains a poem titled “Days in Paradise,” which begins: “The bird was on the wire and then it wasn’t,/ though the wire still stretched from pole to pole./You saw it perched and still, except for the defensive/tilt of head, the tail feather flickering alert/and silhouetted through the setting sun.” Open Books, 2414 N 45th St, 633-0811. Free. 7:30 pm.
Sat 6/22
H OctAviA Butler B irtHdAy tri B ute reAdinG
Featured readers including Nisi Shawl, Gabriel Teodros, Rahwa Habte, Zola Mumford, and Mayumi Tsutakawa will read work inspired by the incredible Butler on what would have been her birthday, and there will be an open mic, too. Elliott Bay Book Company, 1521 10th Ave, 6246600. Free. 3 pm.
H live nude Fis H Les Sardines is a Seattle writing collective that puts out small, beautiful literary magazines. Tonight, the seventh issue of Les Sar’zine titled “Naked,” will be available for sale. Readers will read, a band called Seacastle will sing three new songs with lyrics written by Les Sardines, and copies of their new magazine will be available for purchase. Ghost Gallery, 504 E Denny Way, #1, 832-6063. Free. 6:30 pm. eli HAstinGs Clearly Now, The Rain: A Memoir of Love and Other Trips is about a decade-long relationship. Elliott Bay Book Company, 1521 10th Ave, 6246600. Free. 7 pm.
Mon 6/24
H JOH n “JAcK” HOrner Horner served as a technical adviser on all three Jurassic Park movies. He’s discovered more about dinosaur child-rearing and social behavior than can fit in a single blurb, and his book, How to Build a Dinosaur, is his newest collection of knowledge. This is a must-see event for dinofiends. Town Hall 1119 Eighth Ave, 652-4255. $5. 7:30 pm.
Tues 6/25
cArl H iAAsen Hiaasen is the author of a bunch of mysteries set in Florida. He’s known for his sharp, Elmore Leonard–like dialogue, his weird Floridians, and being friends with Dave Barry. Nobody’s perfect. His newest book is Bad Monkey Seattle Public Library, 1000 Fourth Avenue, 386-4636. Free. 7 pm.
H GOne G irl cOMics releAse PArty Noel Franklin’s brand-new comic book, Gone Girl Comics Issue #1, features stories about life in Seattle written and drawn by the local poet, with one story guestillustrated by local awesome cartoonist David Lasky. The cover and interiors feature Pioneer Square’s late, lamented OK Hotel. Vermillion, 1508 11th Ave, 709-9797. Free. 7:30 pm. JeAn sH errArd, PAul dOr PAt: tHe HistOry OF First H ill The authors of Washington Then and Now discuss one of Seattle’s densest neighborhoods. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave, 652-4255. $5. 7:30 pm. readings@thestranger.com
theater
Opening and Current Runs
dOGG’s HAM let cAHOOt’s MAcB etH See review, page 26. Sound Theater Company at Center Theater, Seattle Center Armory, www.brownpapertickets.com. $5-$25. Thurs-Sat at 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through June 23. tHe FinAnciAl lives OF tHe POets Myra Platt adapts Jess Walters’s novel about a man who “wakes up from his American dream (writing a financial advice column in blank verse)” and finds himself ass-deep in money-andfamily trouble. He figures a life of crime might get him out of that jam. Jones Playhouse, 4045 University Way NE, 216-0833. $25-$45. Wed-Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through June 30. H HAirs PrAy: 10tH AnniversAry cOncert See preview, page 26. 5th Avenue Theater 1308 Fifth Ave, www.5thavenue.org. $23$73. Thurs-Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm. Through June 23.
tHe HOrri B le lAMB “After a run at the Seattle Fringe Festival in 2012, Sauer Bauer Productions has decided to remount its goofball televangelist quasi-musical The Horrible Lamb! at West of Lenin. Written and co-produced by Tiffany Louquet, Lamb tracks Lyle (Caleb Stengel), a depressed slob who envies the success of Hal O’Luyah (Ben Erickson), a former childhood nemesis turned Christian superstar. Lyle wants in on the action, insinuates himself into Hal’s life, then tries to steal his (figurative) crown of solidgold thorns. Lamb feels like a bunch of friends yukking it up together, which is great for them, but not always so great for those of us outside their circle. One notable exception: Mike Watt as Michelletto, a cue-card holder for the evangelical TV network who’s even dumber than Hal. He’s so dumb that some of his lines—such as when he hugs Lyle, sniffs his head, and says ‘your hair smells like the future’— backflip into the bizarro surprises of actual comedy. The rest of the actors deliver their one-note caricatures—drawling Jesus freak, cynical manager, shrewish wives—in a chorus of braying.” (Brendan Kiley) West of Lenin, 203 N 36th St, www.brownpapertickets.com. $12. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through June 29. lOtus eAters lP A sonic and visual experiment from Tommy Smith and Reggie Watts that combines text, music, and visuals without any live performers onstage and is described as a “hallucinatory sonic experience about loneliness, depravity, and the intrinsic failure of all human contact.” Featuring the voices of Neil Gaiman, Mary Jane Gibson, and others. West of Lenin 203 N 36th St, westoflenin.com. $15. Tues June 18 at 8 pm. Through June 20.
MAtinG GAM es: 9 s HOrt cOM edies ABOut lOve, seX, And tHe science OF desire An ensemble cast and team of directors and playwrights present nine new short plays about sex, romance, and attraction. Seattle Playwrights Collective at Annex Theater, 1100 E Pike St, www.annextheatre.org. $10$18. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through June 22. H tAll sKinny cruel cruel BOys “In Tall Skinny Cruel Cruel Boys powerhouse actor Hannah Victorian Franklin plays Brandy, a successful children’s birthday party clown whose recreational activities would drive the mothers who hire her around the bend— she drinks heavily, serially screws off-limits guys (usually entertaining fathers and teenagers after she’s finished entertaining the tots), and gambles like a fiend. She lives as if the innocence of her day job is a stain that must be scrubbed away with broken glass and vomit.” (Brendan Kiley) Washington Ensemble Theater, 608 19th Ave E, 3255105. $15-$25. Thurs-Mon at 7:30 pm. Through June 24.
Dance
H AutOPsy OF lOve A world premiere by Donald Byrd featuring live musical renditions of Robert Schumann’s Dichterliebe and settings of poet Heinrich Heine’s Lyrisches Intermezzo . Spectrum Dance Theater at Emerald City Aerialdrome, 2702 sixth Ave S, www.spectrumdance.org. $20-$25.
series with performers from Israel, Guinea, and Ghana—with an easygoing summer atmosphere. The mysterious ‘Sanity Café,’ a cabaret of new pieces based on themes picked by SIDF audiences, will wrap up the nine-day festival with a latenight
wedding crasher
by Sarah Galvin
SECRET GARDEN
The wedding invitation included a list of things that would not be present at the ceremony, including extravagant veils, children strewing endangered species of orchid petals, cakes shaped like buttocks, Irish setters as groomsmen, wedding rings, nipple rings, and miles of lace carried by trained kittens. What was there were so many local artists and collectors that one guest commented, “If a bomb drops on us right now, the Seattle art scene is screwed.” There was also a man with a bottle labeled “Xanax for Gay Summer Weddings” full of blue pills that were most likely Tic Tacs.
The wedding of Greg Kucera and Larry Yocom took place in a secret garden on the roof of a row of Capitol Hill shops. Greg and Larry live there with an art collection impressive enough to make Gertrude Stein jump out of her grave. Their guest bedroom is wallpapered with 19th-century shunga, or Japanese erotic art. Their coat closet contains a Grant Wood piece that was once confiscated as pornography, and there is a Tom of Finland drawing in the bathroom. I don’t think my eyes ungoogled the entire evening.
Kucera and Larry Yocom
June 9, 2013
Greg has run the Greg Kucera Gallery in Pioneer Square since 1983, and Larry, fittingly, owns a frame shop, Gallery Frames. Before the ceremony began, guests sipped champagne and admired the artwork, with Larry acting as a charming and knowledgeable tour guide. The ceremony was officiated by Janice Niemi, a retired superior court judge and fellow art collector. The couple read vows they had written for each other. “It’s simple: I loved you then; I love you now,” said Greg. “I will have you and hold you, until death alone may part us.”
Greg and Larry have been building a life together for 30 years, and their love for each other was utterly apparent. It would be as palpable if you saw them sitting on a park bench as it was in their rooftop garden surrounded by friends and family. To conclude the ceremony, two sharply dressed young guys, who Greg said were “borrowed from St. Mark’s,” sang songs from Candide. Then there was red-andblack-plaid raspberry cake (which matched Greg’s suit, cuff links, and socks) under a 10-foot-tall sculpture of a pencil in their living room. n
Invite us to your wedding at weddingcrasher@thestranger.com!
polish remover, burnt rubber, and other essences.” Martin Margiela comes up a lot, too. There’s the time he removed the catwalk and presented a line in almost total darkness. Or the looks he created by steeping garments in fertilizers, bacteria, yeast, and mold.
PHILOSOPHY AND FASHION
“Fashion would seem to be one of the least important things one could imagine,” writes Lars Svendsen in his book Fashion: A Philosophy. “Most clothes communicate so little,” he writes, as he breaks down the commercial industry, with its irrational trend cycles, the formations of its bland identities, and the general emptiness of consumer desire. That shoppers can decide between skirt lengths or numbers of buttons
“is undeniably a form of freedom,” but it’s “based on a choice that does not constitute any real difference. Despite this, we apparently allow ourselves to be convinced that these actually are important differences,” he writes crisply.
We already knew that, but Svendsen keeps the language zesty, and he crams his ideas with many wonderful fashion facts along the way. Bringing balance to his mass-market critiques, he examines the works of avant-garde designers who don’t always have to try so hard to please their customers. Take the Comme des Garçons fragrance Odeur 53—from its advertisements, it smells of “metal, cellulose, nail
Summer Clearance
The best chapter is “Fashion and the Body,” because it’s loaded with stuff you hadn’t really thought about before, like the accepted sexiness of our bones Today, bodies with visible bones embody a popular standard of beauty, but that is “quite unique to our age… A constant feature of all ideals of beauty until the First World War was that a beautiful body had
to have enough fat and muscle for skeleton to remain hidden beneath them,” Svendsen writes. Other observations describe the peculiar way an era’s idealized figures morph shapes throughout time. Breasts never correspond, for instance. When ample bodies were in style, their breasts were supposed to be tiny. But when slender bodies were in, the breasts suddenly had to be full. Also, “when [large] breasts are emphasized in women… the tendency has been for men’s shoulders to become broader.”
Another passage details extreme vanity procedures from as far back as the 1950s, when some fashion models fulfilled physical standards by “removing the back molars in order to achieve hollow cheeks.” n
Send fashion tips to marti@thestranger.com
Greg
The STranger cute Larry’s on the left.
note S on fa S hion by marti jonjak
CHOW
the carnage There were a lot of leftovers. We left the head behind.
The Pig Head Situation
Should You or Shouldn’t You Eat a Pork Face?
By Bethany Jean Clement
Some people say it’s wrong to eat something with a face. If, however, you are going to eat something with a face, should you be willing to eat the face of that something? Eyeballs included?
My father declined to go eat the pig face with me. On the phone, we discussed what you could eat of a pig’s head. There might be some crackly skin. The meat of the cheeks, the jowls. “Maybe the tongue, if it doesn’t get too tough during the roasting?” I said. My father grew up on a modest cattle ranch in Eastern Washington, and my family visited my grandmother there one weekend a month as she continued to raise cattle until she was 78 years old. Eating a pig head, it turns out, is something my father does not feel the need to do.
Radiator Whiskey 94 Pike St, Suite 30, 467-4268 radiatorwhiskey.com
brown, hard as a rock; it peeled off more like a shell, in pieces, with a plate provided upon which to set these pieces aside. Underneath were striations of fat and meat; the cheek was very fatty, the meat quite pale, and dissolvingly soft, and not strongly flavored by smoke or anything. It tasted neutral, neither good nor bad. There was a lot of cheek meat. “It keeps on giving… the giving pig,” someone said.
strips, dipped in a cornflake-crust batter, and deep-fried, making it taste as good as almost anything thin-sliced, cornflake-crusted, and deep-fried would.
Some non-head meat was also included on the platter: pale slices of roasted pork loin with a peppery crust; a large cross section of porchetta, which is all kinds of pieces of pig wrapped up together, featuring more fat and an outer ring of crispy skin. There was also a large blob of basil aioli, at least a full cup of stoneground mustard, and a pile of pickled peppers.
All this would serve at least four people, if you could find that many people who could even stand it. None of it tasted especially spectacular. Even less per person would be more than plenty: The eight huge-shouldered men at a neighboring table could’ve had just one as an X-treme appetizer, then been able to say they did it, upload their photos, and still have some other, non-pig-face food. There might be a fight over the eyeball.
of their meat—my father, for instance—don’t want or need to eat a pig’s face at Radiator Whiskey. Those who are disgusted and outraged will never try it, though it might be meaningful for them to do so. Those who just want the bragging rights could be said to be missing the point, except: Who can say what the point is, exactly? The pig heads come from kapowsin Meats in Graham, Washington, but you won’t find that fact, or the sourcing on any other meat, on the menu.
Pigs do not practice good dental hygiene.
I located two other willing people—the smoked half pig head at Radiator Whiskey “feeds 2–3 people,” costing $40—and called the new restaurant, across the hall from its sibling, Matt’s in the Market. If you’d like to eat the face of a pig, it is advisable to call ahead.
“Let me check the pig head situation here,” the man on the phone said.
A few nights later, the half pig head was placed in front of us, lying cheek side up. It rested on a large cutting board, with two dish towels under that. We were armed with sharp knives, big metal tongs, and skinny implements with a few tines on one end and a narrow spoon-shape on the other. Was there a particular way, we asked, we ought to do this? You want to just peel back the skin of the cheek, the server said; then there was other meat to be found pretty much all around.
The snout was right there, with a few little whiskers intact. The skin was burnished deep
Behind the snout, the meat was darker pink, hammy-tasting, soft and flossy. Behind the jaw, more melty-soft meat; the jaw was there, intact, with teeth. Pigs do not practice good dental hygiene. The eyeball was there, too, sunken in rather deep; it was extracted in pieces, “like a botched Groupon surgery,” someone said. Everyone ate a little bit of eyeball. Again, just soft.
After a while, we turned it over. The back side was more blackened. The brain was absent. The teeth were yet more evident. Someone pulled a strip off the jaw and chewed on the end. “Gum jerky,” he said.
The tongue, it turned out, had wisely been braised separately, and a line of deeppink cross sections of its musky, unsettlingly tender meat was laid out on the board, too.
“It’s always weird eating another creature’s tongue,” someone said. “It’s just like Frenchkissing, but across the veil,” someone else replied. The ear was also wisely cooked separately; subjected to smoking, it would’ve been as tough as the kind you get for a dog at the pet store. It’d been cut into very thin
Radiator Whiskey recommends that you have their apple salad with a sweetish sherry vinaigrette ($10) with your pig head. It was good, and so was a beet salad, which comes with a ton of horseradish crème fraîche, lest your cholesterol go down momentarily ($10). A mountain of plain, steamed broccoli would probably be the best accompaniment. Directly afterward, I had a vision of a whole peeled grapefruit wrapped in crisp, cool lettuce leaves.
alittle while longer afterward, there was queasiness, both physical and ontological. The modern urban body is not calibrated to handle this much pork and fat; different parties reported various digestive issues at varying times. More lingering was the feeling that we’d taken part in end-stage meat sports, an endeavor that would predictably enrage PETA and, just as predictably, cause the eight huge-shouldered men to say “Duuuuude!” and, in the end, make everyone feel at least a little queasy in one way or another.
Those who have already confronted the face
The nose-to-tail ethos is a sound one; if you’re going to eat meat, you should make use, as much as you can, of the whole beast. The “meat trend” in general, on the other hand, has been laboring along for some time now, and it’s time to move on. A magazine writer e-mailed me in April about “the meat of the moment” in Seattle; I said that the whole thing has cycled around so many times that it’s become meaningless, if it ever had any meaning in the first place, and that conscientious eaters here just want high-quality, humanely raised, local meat, and they’re willing to pay more for it and eat less of it in the service of avoiding the factory-farmed stuff. I said, maybe wishfully, “Meat: It is now officially post-trend. The end.”
Radiator Whiskey is high-ceilinged and has a pleasant American pub feeling, with Johnny Cash playing and tools hung up on the walls. The menu is centered, purposefully, on brown liquor and on meat—you can get a fried pork shank, turkey drumstick confit, a lambneck sloppy joe, pork cheek stew ($13–$16). You can get fried beef-lip terrine ($10), which is like the meat version of tater tots. A plate of asparagus ($10), recently, came with big slabs of house-cured Canadian bacon piled on top. It does not feel like a current menu, either for springtime or for 2013. Those who like meat will like it. And those of you who truly want to eat a pig’s face—you know who you are, and now you know where to go. n
The Bar Under The Milky Way
The sun is setting on the city. During the day, whole countries of clouds passed beneath the blue sky. At this moment, the window to the universe is opening and the stars are coming out. The bar I’m about to walk into, Boxcar Ale House, is on the border between the Ballard/Interbay industrial district and the quiet neighborhood of Magnolia. Across the street from the bar, train tracks, train cars, manufacturing complexes, warehouses; behind the bar, roads lined by homes and apartment buildings. On one side, the world of work and exhaustion; on the other, rest and recuperation. The Ale House—which has a slim two-story facade but a long and bulky back—is something like a gateway from one zone (social reproduction) to the other (domestika).
My reason for visiting this bar is the jukebox that’s right next to the entrance, just below a window that looks out onto the outdoor seating area. This machine is stuffed with pages and pages of music Not one of them has an image of a musician or an album cover; each only contains dense lists and sections of tiny writing. Indeed, to look for a band in the jukebox (turn after turn) almost feels like academic work—you scrutinize the pages like a scholar looking for some important but very small detail in a tome. It took about five minutes to find something I wanted to play: Portishead’s “Wandering Star.”
I’ve always imagined this classic triphop tune to be inspired by this passage in the dazzling science chapter of James Joyce’s Ulysses: “Of our system plunging towards the constellation of Hercules: of the parallax or parallactic drift of socalled fixed stars, in reality evermoving wanderers from immeasurably remote eons to infinitely remote futures.” I also suspect that it might be inspired by the last lines of William Butler Yeats’s “Who Goes with Fergus?”: “For Fergus rules the brazen cars,/And rules the shadows of the wood,/And the white breast of the dim sea/And all dishevelled wandering stars.” Beth Gibbons of Portishead sings: “The blackness, the darkness, forever.” Later, I would sing, during the excellent karaoke session at the back of the bar, the Church’s “Under the Milky Way”: “And it’s something quite peculiar/Something shimmering and white/It leads you here, despite your destination/Under the Milky Way tonight.” For whom it may concern, during my visit, I ordered a
Chef Jim Drohman feels so strongly about the labeling of genetically modified foods, he’s going to feed you snacks at his lovely Cafe Presse while you get educated about it.
“Yes on 522 will certainly be outspent by Big Ag, so all we have is organizing,” he says. Come learn what the hell GMOs are, what foods they’re in, why labeling them is important, and what you can do to help. Come! (And call 709-7674 to RSVP so he knows how many to expect.) Cafe Presse 1117 12th Ave, 7097674. cafepresseseattle .com. $5.22 suggested donation. 8-9:30 am.
“BEST DAMN
HAPPY HOUR”
On the third Thursday of the month, the “Best Damn Happy Hour” (their title) has live DJs, mini golf, board games, giant Jenga (TIMBERRRRR!), and deals on cocktails and food at the many eateries inside the Armory, the food-court-ish building at Seattle Center. Seattle Center, 305 Harrison St, 684-7200. seattlecenter. com/happyhour. No cover. 5-8 pm.
H GOOD LIBATIONS
It’s an “epic food and drink celebration” heralding the beginning of the Pacific Northwest’s Most Beautiful Season™, featuring food and cocktails from Bar Sajor, Ravishing Radish Catering, and Rain Shadow Meats (among others). The Piranha Shop , 1022 First Ave S. facebook.com. $25. 6-9 pm.
Mon 6/24
H PLANES, TRAINS, AND TRAVELING CHEFS
Owner Dan Bugge and chef Shane Ryan of Matt’s in the Market host a series of dinners cooked by haute shite visiting chefs, including six courses with wine pairings. Tonight’s chef: Dale Talde of Talde in Brooklyn, who, “In addition to making a name for himself in the kitchen of his namesake restaurant‚” gained notoriety as a contestant on season four of Bravo’s ‘Top Chef.’” Matt’s in the Market , 94 Pike St, 467-7909. mattsinthe market.com. Call to inquire about price. 6 pm.
H SUSTAINABILITY IN SEAFOOD DINNER SERIES
Madison Park Conservatory
co-owner Bryan Jarr coauthored a cookbook titled In the Kitchen with the Pike Place Fish Guys with, yes, the Pike Place fish guys. These dinners feature sustainably sourced seafood and guest appearances by seafood experts. Perhaps your fish will be thrown at you! Bonus: A copy of the cookbook is included. Madison Park Conservatory, 1927 43rd Ave E, 324-9701. madison parkconservatory.com. $70 plus tax and gratuity. 7 pm.
ROOFTOP DINNERS
It’s a fancy, Frenchy dinner, on a rooftop. Also included: wine, a cocktail, and a tour of the rooftop garden. Bastille, 5307 Ballard Ave NW, 453-5014. $95 plus gratuity. Every other Mon. through Sept 23.
H ROOFTOP GARDEN TOURS
Tour Bastille’s famed rooftop garden with gardendesigner Colin McCrate of Seattle Urban Farm Co., with “rooftop-inspired cocktails,” too. Fun fact: Washington State senators once organized a special senatorsonly tour. Bastille, 5307 Ballard Ave NW, 453-5014. bastilleseattle.com. $10. 5:30 pm. Mon. through Oct 14.
H BIG BOTTLE MONDAYS
Throughout the summer, Quinn’s offers all of their large-format bottles of beer for half-price on Monday nights. Starred (and very much so) for beer lovers! Quinn’s , 1001 E Pike St, 325-7711.
H MANHATTAN MONDAYS Every Monday the BottleNeck serves $5 Manhattans made with Evan Williams. Cheers! BottleNeck Lounge , 2328 E Madison St, 3231098. $5.
Fri 6/21
NORTHSHORE KARAOKE BINGO
“Kick off summer with Karaoke Bingo & BBQ on Friday, June 21st! Four times a year the young and old converge in Bothell for the kind of fun that stands the test of time. Join us for songs & entertainment, games & prizes, drinks & eats! Plus our favorite KJ, Baby Van Beezly returns to make summer rock stars out of you. Get sweaty & give back to the Northshore Senior Center.” Northshore Senior Center, 10201 E Riverside Dr, 425-286-1032. seniorservices.ejoinme.org. $15. Fri Jun 21 at 6 pm.
Sat 6/22
H BOTTOMLESS MIMOSAS
Bottomless anything is good, especially if it involves champagne. Just order brunch at the Coterie Room or Ma’ono (both pretty damn great) and your mimosa ($10 at the former, $12 at the latter) will have no bottom. Various locations . SatSun 10 am-2 pm.
Sun 6/23
H MIMOSAS WITH MAMA 2.0
The demise of the Broadway Grill cannot stop drag diva Mama Tits from hosting this brunch buffet with the titular mimosas and a drag cabaret to go along with! Now find her/them/it at the (very festive) Narwhal, in the basement of the Unicorn. Narwhal, 1118 E Pike St, 325-6492. $12 adv/$15 DOS, 21+. 1 pm.
H SUNDAE SUNDAYS AT CUPCAKE ROYALE
Every Sunday in June, Cupcake Royale is offering its sundaes—including the Hot Salty Mess (caramel ice cream! Smoked salt! Espresso!) and the Cupcake Sundae (there’s a whole cupcake in there!)—for just $4. Various locations . cupcakeroyale.com. $4 sundaes. Sun through Jun 30.
H MEANS WE RECOMMEND IT SEN D EVENT INFO TO : chow@thestranger.com
Find the full Chow calendar online.
Can Eat (within reason) July 4th, 2013 1pm – 6pm Plum Café: 324 15th Avenue East, Seattle, WA | Ph: (206) 325-6429 RSVP to sli@plumbistro.com Every
MUSIC
Meet Your Merrymaker
Sean Nelson’s Solo Album Is 40-fied Gold
By Dave s egal
S ean Nelson is 11 hours away from turning 40. His golden Garfunkel curls now feature some graying at the temples. The six-foot-five vocalist/lyricist/actor/ex–Stranger writer/editor
arrives at a Pioneer Square coffee shop wearing white horn-rimmed glasses with earbuds dangling from the pocket of his denim jacket. The former Harvey Danger frontman sheepishly admits he was listening to Oingo Boingo on the walk over, blaming his older brother for getting him hooked on that band’s spazzy goofball pop when Nelson was living in Southern California. “The songs you hear when you’re 12 never go away,” he states, correctly.
Good Choices, out now on white vinyl via Really Records.
Nelson’s forte of contrasting bright tunes with thorny scenarios. It’s better than any post-Green R.E.M. song.
LP opener “The World Owes Me a Living (and I Intend to Collect)” is utterly effusive and perhaps the only song ever with a chorus climaxing on the word “wherewithal”—an anthem of frustration and powerlessness, the track reveals Nelson’s ingenious skill for arranging vocals and concocting indelible earworms. This talent also animates “Creative Differences” and “Hey, Millicent,” imbuing them with concentrated sonic sunshine. Nelson’s favorite vocalist is Paul McCartney, and that worship has paid huge dividends.
“[Arranging vocals] is an area I feel confident and ambitious about,” Nelson says. “Singing is the main thing for me. I wanted it to be a record where the vocals are right out there. Even though it’s very simple in most respects, there are twists and turns in the chords that are there because I felt I had to at least make it a little more interesting. The four songs I did with [Chris] Walla are as good as anything I’ve ever been a part of.”
is the only slow song on the record, and in a way you could see it as maudlin. But the maudlin-ness is sort of baked into it, so I think it’s humorous.
“When you look back at the harshest feelings, it tends to be funny. You don’t live in the visceral emotion of it forever. If you do… you’re doomed if you keep living like that. You can kind of honor the fact that it hurt at a certain time and then laugh later.”
Nelson says that the songs on Make Good Choices are personal, as exemplified by “Creative Differences,” in which the titular subject is cited as the crux of every
“For me to have said that this record is done and good… required more mental-health counseling than recording sessions.”
Make Good Choices’ nine-year gestation (it was started in 2003—when Harvey Danger were on hiatus and the Long Winters, with whom Nelson played keyboards and sang harmony vocals in the mid ’00s, were in between tours—and finished in 2011) was also due to Nelson’s difficulty with selfevaluation. Unlike many musicians, he tends to underestimate his art’s worth. “The reason it took so long is that it was just my project,” he says. “Lots of people contributed generously to it in great ways, but it wasn’t a band, a group effort in that way. I have a gaping blind spot in my own ability to assess my own stuff. For me to have said that this record is done and good and deserves to live in the world required more mentalhealth counseling than recording sessions. I got the counseling and did the recording sessions [laughs].”
As noted, Nelson possesses a keen knack for writing gloriously uplifting music that competes with skeptical, cynical, and neurotic ideas. Is he constitutionally incapable of writing happy lyrics?
band situation or relationship. “I found that the limitations of friendship became my big theme. It did correspond to the years where the friendships I thought were the most lasting and important crumbled away. I got divorced and wound up in a series of screwy relationships that I thought would be important and great, but in fact were pretty doomed—pre-doomed, I would say. Everything I wrote in that decade seemed to be about that, in one way or another. A lot of the feelings expressed in those songs—I wouldn’t say I’m proud to have had those feelings. But I think it’s an accurate record of a certain kind of low emotional place that nonetheless is real.”
You could probably see this question coming from miles away, but here goes: What’s the best choice Nelson has made—and the worst?
Without hesitation, he says, “The worst choice remains not letting Paul Shaffer and the CBS Orchestra accompany Harvey Danger when we played ‘Flagpole Sitta’ on [ David Letterman ], because we thought it would seem inauthentic if we did let them play with their massive horn section. These are, like, a couple generations of the best studio musicians alive. And they don’t do it for everybody. And we said no, because we thought it would seem uncool to people in Seattle. Honestly .”
Sean Nelson w/Jenny Invert Wed June 26, Neumos, 8 pm, $15 adv, 21+
As a song title from Harvey Danger’s excellent 2000 album King James Version puts it, “This Is the Thrilling Conversation You’ve Been Waiting For.” Nelson is a brilliant raconteur who deserves his own talk show. The reason for this convo is the release of Nelson’s first true solo album, Make
Make Good Choices was written and recorded while Nelson was slaloming through a hectic schedule of acting jobs, playing with the Long Winters, reuniting Harvey Danger and cutting their final album, writing a book about Joni Mitchell’s Court and Spark, and doing the Nelson Does Nilsson cover project. Make Good Choices is exemplary big-vocabulary rock, one of those special records that yield a new favorite song with each successive listen. Right now, mine is the Peter Buck co-composition “Price of Doing Business,” which is the quintessence of melodic jauntiness, but spiked with lyrics about a soured relationship, spotlighting
“It’s something that some people I’ve been close to certainly have accused me of. I really like the contrast. A lot of the bands I’ve loved have a sort of opposition in the words versus the melody and the harmonic and rhythmic life of the music. When I was younger, I understood that it was a trick I could go back to, but it does reflect the way I think about the world. There is no unmitigated joy for long, but all sorrow can be tempered by humor. If you have any sense of short-term history, you know that to just wallow in misery is… in the end, you have to laugh or you will perish. I guess at some point I decided that I didn’t want to perish.
“Depression is a real theme in my life,” he continues. “Exploring that disjunction is necessary for me. But also, the kind of pop music I love and love to write is the only music I feel fully qualified to make. I don’t have a ton of music theory; I couldn’t pull off a dirge, because I don’t have the skill to do it in such a way that it didn’t sound like a punishment to listen to. ‘Brooklyn Bridge’
Best choice? Leaving The Stranger?
“That hole?” Nelson says with a chuckle. “That was a good choice in some ways.” Then he gets to the real best choice: “Realizing that satisfaction can only come from within myself. That made it a lot easier not to get hung up on what other people think. It took a long time. That’s not to say I’m Mr. SelfEsteem. I still am riddled with self-doubt all the time.”
Viewing the circuitous, epic journey to complete Make Good Choices, Nelson muses, “It was funny to me that it was easier for me to reunite [Harvey Danger] and put all our silly demons to rest than it was for me to admit that my record was finished. But the amount of time that went by was necessary. I’m slightly bashful talking about the whole therapy angle to it, but the thing that had to change was not the songs; it was me. Then I did.” n
Comment on big-vocabulary rock at thestranger.com/music
Sean nelSon Is he constitutionally incapable of writing happy lyrics?
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Nothing but Beautiful
Gregory Porter Is the New Lion of Jazz Song
By c harles m udede
The Grammy committee nominated 41-year-old Brooklyn jazz singer Gregory Porter’s “Real Good Hands” for best traditional R&B performance this year, but those same people gave the award to Beyoncé. Nevertheless, proximity to Beyoncé’s pop brilliance exposed him to a wider audience, and people began writing/blogging about his skills as a singer and the distinctive headgear—a thin hood that’s tight around the ears and topped by a thickish hat—he seems to always wear. The whole arrangement has a striking effect; it gives his face the appearance of a man who, on a cold city night, heats his hands over a fire in a rusty oil drum. Indeed, Porter is so committed to this headgear (picture after picture and performance after performance) that I became convinced that it had something to do with protecting or hiding an ear-related medical condition. But nothing is wrong with Porter; his ears are just fine. He just likes that look, which frames his handsome beard and long eyebrows. Porter—who has released two albums, Water and Be Good, with Liquid Spirit due in September on Blue Note—also always wears smart vintage suits, ties that are as elegant as Roger Duchesne’s in Bob le Flambeur, shirts that are almost bold, and shoes that have been shined by a man who has clearly spent a lifetime mastering the magic of shoe polish.
Love is “a problem or it’s play,” he sings.
Gregory Porter Fri−Sun June 21−23, Jazz Alley, 7:30 and 9:30 pm, $24.50, all ages
“It’s a heartache either way/But beautiful/ And I’m thinking if you were mine/I would never let you go/And that would be/But beautiful, I know.” What does “but beautiful” mean here? Nothing but beautiful? Everything but beautiful? And Porter puts as much meaning into that strange construction as Johnny Hartman does when he sings “Dedicated to You” on the jazz masterpiece John Coltrane & Johnny Hartman. “And if I should paint a picture, too/That showed the loveliness of you/My art would be like my heart and me/ Dedicated to you.” The expressive meaning you find in “dedicated to you” is the same as the one you find in “but beautiful,” but we do not know what “but beautiful” means. It’s as if the words can contain the feeling without really constructing a meaning, words as pure containers of feeling. One is enchanted by this sense of getting it and not quite getting it. This is how Porter plays with your mind.
Porter’s phrasing feels familiar, but it is like nothing you have heard before.
As for Porter’s voice, it’s a baritone that makes you feel right at home; as for his style of phrasing, it feels very familiar (Lou Rawls, Johnny Hartman, Nat King Cole), but it is also like nothing you have heard before. And this is why the greatness of Porter is not easy to describe. If you listen to him one way, he seems to be rooted deeply in the tradition of jazz song, but if you listen to him another way, you hear a big, warm, blue voice that moves about the music like some liberated balloon rising and falling in the wind. Porter is not conventional, yet he is, and for some reason he easily manages to be both without settling on one or the other.
For example, Porter’s composition “But Beautiful,” from the album Water, is seemingly about the ups and downs of love, about the way a romance can cause you so much joy and so much pain—but as Porter sings, as his voice moves from one line to the next, you get the feeling that this is not the whole picture. There is something else going on here that’s lost between the gaps in the lyrics.
Then there is “Real Good Hands.” It’s about a man pleading to his girlfriend’s parents for their daughter’s hand in marriage. This is not the sort of situation most American men of the 21st century are familiar with or can even understand. Pleading for your girlfriend’s hand? You mean the parents can actually stop you from getting married? Back in the day they could, but not anymore. Despite the anachronistic setting of the tune, Porter sings it with true feeling, true emotion. You can see the room in the old house, see the parents on the couch (paintings of MLK and JFK above them). You can see their concerned faces, their doubts, and you can see this 21st-century Brooklynite on his knees, begging for the opportunity to be “her man” because she would be in “real good hands.”
Porter’s masterpiece, however, is “Be Good (Lion’s Song),” a simply charming waltz about a woman who seems to be teasing a man (the lion in a cage). Or maybe it’s not about that at all. Maybe it’s about art, or about how an idea can dance around your limitations without ever really settling and revealing itself. The gaps in the lyrics give Porter the freedom he needs to do what he always does best: drift around a beautiful tune. n
gregory porTer His voice is as distinctive as his headgear.
VINCENT SOYEz
Anna Minard claims to “know nothing about music.” For this column, we force her to listen to random records by artists considered to be important by music nerds.
THE CLASH The Clash (Epic)
Last weekend, my friend put a record on, and it blew my brains out with awesomeness. “Who is this?” I asked, no expectations whatsoever. “The Clash,” my friend replied, laughing at the “who’s this?” interaction we’ve repeated a million times. I was so excited. Here was an Important Punk Band of History, and I liked it of its own accord! We listened to the whole album, I danced around the kitchen, I was an instant super-fan.
I came to work and said, “I wanna do the Clash for my column!” But I didn’t know which album I’d listened to. That night, a different friend came over; I told her I’d discovered the Clash. She asked which album, and we went to figure it out.
It was Combat Rock
She had to break it to me, first with a face [frooowwwwn]. Then with a nice, firm: “You know… that’s pretty much their worst album.” My face fell. She assured me there was better Clash where that came from, and I could now discover that. Yay! I returned to work the next day with a bit of a heavy heart. “So… the album I listened to was Combat Rock,” I started. Emily Nokes gave me the look you give a small child when you have to tell them something uncomfortable—your parents aren’t getting back together, Mr. Rogers is dead, that sort of thing. “I already know,” I told her. “It’s their ‘worst’ album. I found out.” She looked relieved. “Maybe you can do their first one?” she suggested. “Or London Calling?”
So here I am, reviewing the Clash’s selftitled first album. I like it. I like the funny noises, and it makes me move my head around involuntarily, like someone with a nervous-system disorder. That’s punk dancing, right? It’s exuberant; it would make a sunny day or a basement party become instantly 5,000 percent better.
But man, I really, really loved Combat Rock. So poppy and peppy and weird! So much kitchen dancing! That one song that M.I.A. sampled for “Paper Planes”! The story of my life: loving the wrong Clash album.
Then I did an ounce of research and discovered that the self-titled album I’d gone out and bought with my own money was the wrong version—the US version, not the original UK version, which is totally different. WRONG AGAIN, MINARD. I’m sorry for liking the Clash wrong, you guys. But this whole thing where you can do music wrong has got to stop! It’s what kept me out here in this dirty field of woe and ignorance for so many years— the worry that if I tried, I’d just do it wrong anyway, and still no one would let me sit at their lunch table. I fucking love the Clash now, isn’t that enough?
I give this an “at least I’ve heard of it” out of 10. n
anna minard
NACHO PICASSO AND AVATAR DARKO, TH3RDZ
Last week was a landmark one for NW dirtbag rap, as ILLFIGHTYOU dropped their self-released tape (more on that soon), and Nacho Picasso and Avatar Darko released their Marvel Team-Up album Vampsterdam Aptly named, as Nacho and Av encapsulate a very current, gothy (gold fangs, melancholy, never sleeping), and drugged-the-fuck-out dimension of hardcore rap. As somebody who’s followed both rappers from the jump, I was initially concerned that they were going to be better off partying together than actually making music as a unit. Even though I was digging the sounds, taken out of context, those singles seemed to showcase the sense-dulling effects of too much turning-up (even though naming a song “Smells Like Lean Spirit” is a triumph in itself). Was Avatar losing his CD-bred frontline snarl? Was Nacho even fully awake? Listening to Vampsterdam front to back, however, I hung on every song, it all clicked, and I found myself appropriately cozy in this submerged chamber. There is undeniably a darkness within both of these men—and Vampsterdam feels almost therapeutic for them. Not so much in the sense of getting shit off the chest, but in the way most people seem to handle the dark shit on their spirits—they get deeply, unaccountably fucked up and blow off steam. Backed by the mumbling menace from beneath an ocean of Actavis (aka the killer production from Cardo, THC, and Raised by Wolves), the duo occasionally flashes their expensive incisors like a shiver of Xanax-gnashing sharks. Go get it at nachopicassoavatardarko.bandcamp.com.
While we’re talking about what locals could rightfully consider supergroups, there’s the new album from Th3rdz—the tandem of JFK (one-half of Grayskul, who’re prepping their return), Xperience (one-half of Step Cousins alongside his cuddie Macklemore, who brought him out on The Heist tour), and stylish, pimpish vet Candidt. Collectively, they represent (much like Dark Time Sunshine) the diversification of the Oldominion massive—once exclusively the standard-bearers of dark-ass rap in the Northwest. (It’s only right that Avatar, who cut his teeth—get it—with OlD, is part of the new face of the grave wave.) Clocking in at 19 tracks, This, That & Th3rdz is everything but dark, spanning styles fit for barbecue and basement both. There’s smooth, guitar-laced Vitamin D funk, and electro-slap via Smoke, and vintage 10.4Rog BeanOne gets extra points for looping up a line from the Jungle Brothers’ “My Jimmy Weighs a Ton” on “Fixed & Addicted.” Covering all bases, the three bash back at the tired old crab-bucketry and bandleader syndrome, declaring, “We need to all do it.” Rapping-wise, these three smooth one another’s rougher, darker edges away. Gone are JFK’s paranoiac faith crises and XP’s gothy town-crier verses—in fact, despite some real moments of go-for-broke rhyming, overall, Th3rdz leans most toward the cognac-lounge instincts of Candidt, the Th3rd with the greatest abundance of pop sensibility (a good thing here). Their CD release party is at Barboza on Saturday, June 22. Do work. n
hiphop ya don't stop by L a RR y M i ZELL JR.
Avatar Darko
This exhibit was organized by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum, Cleveland, Ohio.
Photo by Janet Macoska
interviews by trent moorman
hologram kimonos and samurai blades
Ioanna Gika and Leopold Ross channel a shoegazed Orient with their LA-based band Io Echo. Staccato koto melodies are sewn over expansive beds of pearlcoated distortion. Their debut release on Iamsound, Ministry of Love , is welldesigned. Traces of the Cure and Siouxsie are there, as well as Nena’s “99 Luftballons.” Gika is the swan, playing the koto, singing beautifully in the distance, unaffected and quiet at times. She’s a rawer, more unrestricted Laetitia Sadier protégée. Ross’s guitar sounds alternate between huge swells and wirespliced, eroded samurai blades. The songs have a Wes-Anderson-directing-anime feel, with “Tiananmen Square” serving as the album’s apex. Io Echo have been garnering eyes and ears for a minute. In 2009, Ross cocomposed the score for the Hughes brothers’ movie The Book of Eli. And this year, the
Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences short-listed Gika’s song “Gone” from Snow White and the Huntsman for best original song. On the fashion front, Gika was recently named the face of House of Holland’s 2013 eyewear line. She’s also been sporting Jeremy Scott custom hologram kimonos. I listened to Ministry of Love while wandering around Uwajimaya. In the snack aisle, behind the strawberry Pocky boxes, I discovered a portal to a garden outside Osaka. I could see through to it—to the garden. The garden is in an overlord’s fortress. There is jade and sake. Two servants who live there have a forbidden love. The girl is a koto player. The koto has the power to stop time. When she plays a certain melody, time stops, freezing the world in whatever pose it’s in. And when she plays the melody again, time starts. She plays it—time stops. Her name is Annaoi. He’s Frank.
The overlord is jealous of their love. He banishes Frank to fight in a war on the border. Then the overlord hides her koto, unaware of its power. He wants Annaoi for himself. A month goes by, and finally she’s able to break into the overlord’s lair. She finds the koto and stops time. Through the paused world, Annaoi journeys to the battlefield and finds Frank, frozen in the midst of a battle. A samurai was about to lethally stab him, but Annaoi had stopped time with the blade a millimeter away from his stomach.
Then what happens? Ioanna: With time still frozen, she drags Frank out of harm’s way. She pulls him back across the country to the fortress garden where they first met, under a wisteria. As she plucks the magical notes from the koto, Frank stirs and attempts to rise. And then we see that his belly had indeed been sliced by the blade, so finely
that the wound was unnoticeable until time began again, and his blood once again started to flow. As life drains away from him, he sees that he’s back in the garden where their love blossomed, and he understands to what lengths she went to try and reunite them. He lies at her feet as the song reaches its final phrase, and petals fall slowly and softly, covering his body as his spirit rises.
Beautiful. Where does your love of Asian culture come from? I: My family used to live and travel in Southeast Asia, starting with Indonesia. It’s an experience of my life that I am forever indebted to, for personal reasons. When writing this album, my thoughts were there, and it’s expressed through the sonics. In a few specific Asian cultures, the mind-set toward life and death is so beautiful and resonates with me so deeply. The blossom is just as beautiful fully bloomed as it is in its decay, the petals floating away like snow. I’m thankful for the lessons.
When were you first drawn to play the koto? I: I’ve been playing it for a while. The sound is haunting. It reminds me of a film I love, Return to Oz. There’s this powerful moment when Princess Mombi plays a mandolin. A mandolin and koto harp are different structurally, but there’s something with the metal sound of the strings that feels like it evokes the same sadness. It’s also interesting to experiment with the sound, synthesize it, add reverb to it. I taught myself to play.
Talk about the lyrics and the music for “When the Lilies Die.” How do your words arrive? I: Words arrive in different ways, but primarily through visuals. I love how sounds have a certain color to them: purple, pink, blue. These images help to form the feel and vibe of the songs. I don’t go into too much detail explaining lyrics because I want the listener to process them personally. In short, “When the Lilies Die” is: lover leaves, lover expects to see you sad, lover has another thing coming.
Leopold: We wrote that song over a period of time when we were on tour, so I have specific memories of recording in different parts of the world. The whistle in the song, for example, was something we just recorded into the laptop microphone when we were staying on the floor at my friend’s place in London. The bass we recorded in the van somewhere else in the UK, and the vocals were recorded in a hotel room in Brooklyn. The majority of the album was done in Ioanna’s bedroom and at my place in Laurel Canyon, LA. It’s high up on the hill, and often at dusk this mist rolls in over the hill, completely encompassing everything. It can feel otherworldly, and I think it helped create the mood on the album.
How was it scoring the music for the Harmony Korine and James Franco film project Rebel? L: It was an amazing experience. The producer of the film knew us and suggested us once the film had been cut and they were looking for music. We weren’t given too much direction. It was more a case of “We’ll give you a chance; let’s see what you can do.” [Laughs] We wrote a piece to the picture and sent it along, expecting to hear either that they don’t like it or that they wanted a big list of changes, but as it turns out, Harmony loved it, and he didn’t want to change it at all. Visually, there’s a lot going on in the film. The basic premise of it is a modern-day reenactment of one of the climactic scenes in Rebel Without a Cause But there’s more to it than that… n
Family Affair – A night of dysfunctional performance 7:30pm THU 6/20
THE DIRTY DO GOODERS –Episode One Reshowing 6:15pm, Episode Two Premier 7:15pm
SAT 6/22
Ocean Tone Summer Solstice: Undersea Passage & Afrocop 10:30pm
Chamelion Productions 8pm Western Haunts Baby SHOW-er with Rough People and Lotte Kestner 10pm SUN 6/23
LungFish Productions Gala 6:30PM Pressed And // It is rain in my face 9pm TUE 6/25
EDDIE IFFT
Eddie has headlined all over the world. His travels were chronicled for an upcoming feature length, documentary film, entitled “America the Punchline.” He has also appeared on a huge variety of TV shows including hosting Shark Week and a season as the ABC College Football Guy. Eddie has performed with Dave Chapelle, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, and Robin Williams.
UP&COMING
Lose your mutantrumpet player every night this week!
For the full music calendar, see page 45 or visit thestranger.com/music For ticket on-sale announcements, follow twitter.com/seashows
Wednesday 6/19
Street Eaters, Tender Hips, Acapulco Lips
(Heartland) See Underage, page 47.
Damian “Jr. Gong” Marley & Stephen “Ragga” Marley, Ghetto Youths Crew, the Green (Marymoor Park) I do not much care for Stephen Marley’s new dubstep remix of his father’s classic “Buffalo Soldier” on Legend Remixed because he employs the American version of dubstep and not the earlier and more dubby (meaning much closer to the original Kingston dub) British version. But I will always have the deepest respect for his brother Damian’s massive 2005 tune “Welcome to Jamrock.” Indeed, I have often wondered if it can be considered the last great song by Bob Marley, because it is here that the genes he deposited in Damian are almost fully expressed. The mightierthan-god toasting, the deep dub-space between the beats, the elongated but hiphop-heavy bass line, the powerful political message—it all sounds as if the genetic spirit of Bob Marley had taken command of Damian’s body and successfully communicated through the 21st century cultural medium that had conditioned it. The rastaman possessed the rastaman. CHARLES MUDEDE
Fall Out Boy
(Showbox Sodo) After a not-long-enough hiatus, Fall Out Boy are back with a new record, bravely titled Save Rock and Roll. Are they asking for rock and roll to be saved? Or are they saying that they, Fall Out Boy, are saving it with this album? Either way, the most notable thing about the record is the guest appearance by
Courtney Love, who opens the song “Rat A Tat” with a Britney-esque “It’s Courtney, bitch” line and then rants about PowerPoint Suicidal Tendencies–style. What? Yeah. Elsewhere on the not-rock-and-roll Save Rock and Roll: “My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light ’Em Up)” sounds like a Nicki Minaj remix of a DragonForce song, “Alone Together” is a less memorable Chris Brown song, and Big Sean and Elton John make appearances. Honestly, though, if this is rock and roll, let the motherfucker die. MEGAN SELING
Thursday 6/20
Io Echo, CSS (Columbia City Theater) See Sound Check, page 41.
John Grant, Judson Claiborne (Barboza) If pain makes you beautiful, John Grant is a supermodel. On his 2010 solo debut, Queen of Denmark, the former Colorado resident forged addiction, homophobia, and bad boyfriends into ’70s AM radio reveries that underscored the transcendent power of pop music. A new set of woes informs its follow-up, Pale Green Ghosts, and while his lyrical bite remains as sharp as Greta Garbo’s cheekbones, this time the brooding baritone renders his hurt and frustration in different timbres. “Ernest Borgnine” and the murky club cut “Black Belt” reflect Grant’s love of electronic music and film soundtracks more than childhood comforts—think John Carpenter, not the Carpenters—and now his live show features a full band, rather than the self-effacing entertainer seated alone behind a keyboard. Beautiful? More like drop-dead gorgeous. KURT B. REIGHLEY
Big Business, Lesbian, Gaytheist (Crocodile) You may have forgotten about Big
Business, the loud-as-fuck two-piece made up of metal-maniac funny guys Jared Warren (Karp, Tight Bros From Way Back When) and Coady Willis (Murder City Devils, White Shit). You may have forgotten NOT because you’re eating too many pot cookies, but because Warren and Willis joined the Melvins a few years ago and bounced around the world several times in the King Buzzo bandwagon. Well, lemme tell you, THEY didn’t forget their biz. Noooo! They’ve added another guitarist, a longhair named Scott Martin, and now they’re touring and playing new songs from a record due out this fall called Battlefields Forever. I say Big Business forever. Oh, and whoever finally put Lesbian and Gaytheist on the same bill: high fives! I’ve been wondering when that would happen. KELLY O
Friday 6/21
Infinity Ink, Xan Lucero, Adrian Rowe, Aarta, OFDM, Polly (Neumos) See Data Breaker, page 49.
Gregory Porter (Jazz Alley) See preview, page 37. Through Sun June 23.
Colin Stetson, Justin Walter (Barboza) You may know Justin Walter as the guy who worked the Electronic Valve Instrument (an ’80s-era synth/horn instrument) for exuberant Michigan Afrobeat extrapolators NOMO—or maybe not. Either way, you need to familiarize yourself with Walter’s new solo album for Kranky records, Lullabies & Nightmares. The title captures the doubleedged nature of the tracks therein: melancholy, turquoise-toned meditations that are at once soothing and subtly disturbing. Fans of mutantrumpet player Ben Neill’s warped electro-jazz, fourth-world ambient-exotica genius Jon Hassell, or Boards of Canada’s queasy-listening electronica should investigate. DAVE SEGAL See also Stranger Suggests, page 21.
SexPop Vol. 2: Hey Champ, WMNSTUDIES
(FRED Wildlife Refuge) SexPop offers you a night
of synth bliss in the form of “sun-kissed electronic beats with heavy doses of bleached out dance vibes.” SexPop Vol. 1 back in April was such a success, they’re ready to do it again, this time with Canada’s WMNSTUDIES (a duo that makes viscous remixes out of R&B bedroom jams—Usher’s “Nice & Slow” has never sounded so terrifyingly sensual) and Chicago’s Hey Champ (ready to slather you with nonstop jubilant electro indie pop). The word “nu-disco” is used a lot in this event’s descriptions— I had to look it up to be sure, but if you like dance music that is “associated with a renewed interest in ’70s/early-’80s disco and synthesizer-heavy Eurodisco,” then tonight is the night. EMILY NOKES
Mamma Casserole’s
Birthday: NighTraiN, Fela Kooties, Tramp Kings
(Comet) My favorite Mamma Casserole memory is from many years ago. I was at one of her DJ nights, and she started playing “Find It!” from the soundtrack to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. That’s when I realized that song is still SO incredible out of movie context, and it takes the coolest DJ to spin the Carrie Nations, aka the most awesome fictional band ever. And
while Mamma Casserole is already notable for booking the amazingly rowdy punk shows at the Comet, her birthday party will be all the more rockin’ because it will be graced by a new batch of songs from the party-starting goddesses/“locomotic punks” of NighTraiN. Happy birthday, Mamma!! BREE MCKENNA
Saturday 6/22
Th3rdz, Neema, Sonny Bonoho (Barboza) See My Philosophy, page 39.
Noise for the Needy: “The Rolling Stones,” the Maldives, the Blakes, Sassparilla, the Chasers, Ole Tinder (Hattie’s Hat) See Stranger Suggests, page 21.
Ostad Hossein Omoumi, Jessika Kenney
(Cornish PONCHO Hall) Omoumi is a Persian classical music master who was born in Iran in 1944 and has performed all over the world. He’s now based at UC Irvine, but he comes regularly to Seattle, and one of his students here is the remarkable vocalist Jessika Kenney, one of this year’s Stranger Genius Award finalists for music (see page 17 of A&P). Go! JEN GRAVES
Camera Obscura, Marissa Nadler (Showbox at the Market) After a four-year hiatus, the Glasgow dreamboats are back. Their new (and fifth) album, Desire Lines, drifts along with the hazy heartbreak you’re used to, and yes, Tracyanne Campbell’s lovely, shy voice is just as sweet as you remember. I’ll always have a soft spot for Camera Obscura’s lemony, mellow pop, and this album fits right in with the others along their decade-plus career (with tasteful guest vocals from Neko Case and Jim James). Although there’s a little more sadness soaking through Desire Lines, it’s balanced with a winking confidence that assures you everything is going to be all right. Bring your best boy or girl and wear a pastel cardigan. EMILY NOKES
Noise for the Needy: Julia Massey & the Five Finger Discount, the Great Um, the Jesus Rehab, Tangerine (Conor Byrne) This is just one of the many Noise for
the Needy shows happening around Ballard this evening. While you should definitely stick around to hear Julia Massey & the Five Finger Discount’s bright, keyboard-laden pop (preview it at juliamassey.band camp.com), you should also wander down to the Sunset for Princess and Gladiators Eat Fire’s crushing noise, or check out “The Rolling Stones” and the Maldives in Hattie’s Hat’s parking lot. Go to all the shows you can, because every cover you pay is a donation to the Ballard Food Bank, thanks to Noise for the Needy. But even if you come down to Conor Byrne and make yourself comfortable for the night, you’ll be doing something good.
MEGAN SELING
Noise for the Needy: Case Studies, Horse Feathers, Pretty Broken Things (Tractor) Case Studies auteur Jesse Lortz seems like a nice guy with an agreeably lugubrious, deep voice that splits the difference between Lee Hazlewood and Leonard Cohen, so I feel bad for not being able to get into his music. Albums like 2011’s The World Is Just a Shape to Fill the Night and Case Studies’ new This Is Another Life have struck me as overly dry and lethargic. But if you’re into stripped-down, intimate, trad folk rock, Lortz should satisfy. His songs definitely convey a gravitas and attention to craft that prove he’s in this for the right reasons. I just wish Lortz would write more tunes like “Driving East, and Through Her,” a buoyant cruise-control jam that’s as calmly exhilarating as Gordon Lightfoot’s “Carefree Highway.” (Better believe that’s a compliment.)
DAVE SEGAL
Sunday 6/23
Pharmakon, Lust for Youth, Grave Babies, Perpetual Ritual (Narwhal/Unicorn) See Data Breaker, page 49.
Pressed And, It Is Rain in My Face (Rendezvous) See Data Breaker, page 49.
Indian Jewelry, This Blinding Light, Kingdom of the Holy Sun, Miracle Falls (Comet) Indian Jewelry’s music reeks of drugs and sex—strictly the upper-echelon stuff. These Houston miscreants create a kundalini-mongering strain of psych rock that will get your third eye weeping in tongues. Indian Jewelry’s latest full-length, Peel It maintains the disorienting, heat-hazy vibe of past releases. Miracle Falls leader Paul Dillon’s résumé includes stints with Mercury Rev, Sparklehorse, and Longwave, so his psych-rock credentials are solid. His music carries an immediate catchiness and melodic congeniality that position Miracle Falls on the lighter end of the psych spectrum. It’s more easygoing than the output of local psych stalwarts This Blinding Light and Kingdom of the Holy Sun, who conjure a dense and serpentine rock hypnosis. DAVE SEGAL
John Prine, Dustin Bentall and Kendel Carson (Woodland Park Zoo) “Through no wisdom of my own but out of sheer blind luck, I walked into the Fifth Peg, a folk club on West Armitage, one night in 1970 and heard a mailman from Westchester singing,” wrote Roger Ebert in 2010. “That night I heard ‘Sam Stone,’ one of the great songs of the century. And ‘Angel from Montgomery.’ And others. I wasn’t the music critic for the Chicago Sun-Times, but I went to the office and wrote an article. And that, as fate decreed, was the first review [John] Prine ever received.” The man who wrote Prine’s first-ever review—an unmitigated, highly specific rave—left us last year. John Prine is still here. This is reason enough to go see him play his one-of-a-kind songs. If you need a supplementary reason, listen to “Sam Stone,” or “Angel from Montgomery,” or “Hello in There,” or… or… or… DAVID SCHMADER
Monday 6/24
Scream Queen, Warm Soda, Fuzzy Cloaks, Fury Things (Chop Suey) The wandering psych pop of Fuzzy Cloaks—Scottie Yoder of Pharmacy tenure’s new outlet—mixes the right amount of warm, buzzy reverb with early-Kinks catchiness that shows off Mr. Yoder’s
knack for writing dance-party gems. Scream Queen (formerly Nite Nurse) are a no-bullshit, sleazed-up rock ’n’ roll group who I haven’t seen live yet, but they’re reported to be a “headbanging, crowd-surfing, beer-spitting, guitar-playing-while-standing-onthe-bar” kind of band. Amen. With Oakland’s Warm Soda (Strokes-y, caffeinated sugar pop) and Minneapolis’s Fury Things (garage rock with a sprinkling of Pixies/Frank Black and Jimmy Eat World elements [a compliment, I promise]). EMILY NOKES
Tuesday 6/25
Vieux Farka Touré (Jazz Alley) If I have to listen to modern blues, I’d prefer it to be Malian, thanks. And, if at all possible, make it the eternally rolling-and-tumbling virtuosity of Vieux Farka Touré, who’s picked up the master-guitar-vocalist torch from his legendary father, Ali. VFT’s new album on Six Degrees, Mon Pays abounds with his nimble, enchanting guitar figures and weathered, soulful vocals. It’s slightly gentler and more subdued than previous works I’ve heard by him, but it still exudes a timeless beauty and a profound poignancy that could make even a white supremacist whimper. The Vieux from here is spectacular. (Also Wednesday, June 26.)
DAVE SEGAL
Rose Windows
(Sonic Boom Records) There is no denying the value of immediacy in music. But to encapsulate the climate of the times inevitably stamps a date on the work. What’s fresh today is stale tomorrow. Rose Windows are not concerned with immediacy. Tonight’s show celebrates the release of their debut album, The Sun Dogs, a record slowly threaded together since 2010. The album was recorded sporadically throughout 2012 and hung in limbo upon completion until Sub Pop signed the Seattle septet. A mesmerizing collection of esoteric folk hymns and fire-and-brimstone psychedelia, The Sun Dogs is rooted in Western rock, but culls from a deep and worldly knowledge of music history. As a result, their sound is informed by the past, gloriously enigmatic in the present, and sure to be savored well into the future.
BRIAN COOK
WED 6/19
KARAOKE THU 6/20
FRI 6/21
MY CARTOON HEART (SPENCER GOLL) WITH SCIENCE, SKY COLONY, SAINT JOHN AND THE REVELATIONS & WREN
SAT 6/22 THE BOG HOPPERS WITH BLVD PARK & SPECIAL GUESTS SEATTLE GUITAR DUO BOB & SHELDON
MON 6/24 MICHAEL SHRIEVE’S SPELLBINDER
TUE 6/25 THE EPIPHANY JAM EXPERIENCE WED 6/26 ABSOLUTE KARAOKE
6.20 Thursday (Marching Band Showcase) reVeNge oF tHe BaND NerDS II (ParKINg Lot PartY!) (a benefit for HoNK! Fest West traveling bands) eNVIroNMeNtaL eNcroacHMeNt Church Marching Band, Mighty Tiny Band, Dead Music Capital Band, Passion Bucket
$10 CASH at gate, 7pm, 21+, CASH Beer Garden
6.21 Friday (Hip Hop/Funk) MY DaD Bruce Irukandji Physics of Fusion, Snug Harbor, Speakerminds, Deadly D
$6 adv. $8 Doors 7pm Doors, 21+
6.22 Saturday (Solstice Party) FreMoNt SoLStIce MaDNeSS! feat. Hamburger Pimp w/ DJ Leopold Bloom, DJ Swerve + DJ Indica Jones Manos Arriba + DJ Anjali & The Incredible Kid
6.23 Sunday (Solstice Party) oFFIcIaL FreMoNt FaIr aFter PartY
feat TRACORUM and Ben Bloom & Friends (mem of POLYRHYTHMICS, Lucky Brown) NO COVER!! 6pm showtime, 21+ 6.26 Wednesday (Jam) couNterPoINt cuLture Goldbar, Home Sweet Home $5adv /
THURSDAY JUNE 20TH JOHN GRANT JUDSON CLAIBORNE
FRIDAY JUNE 21ST COLIN STETSON JUSTIN WALTER
SATURDAY JUNE 22ND
JUNE 23RD
WEDNESDAY JUNE 26TH SUDDEN VACATION FT. GIRAFFAGE + MISTER LIES BEAT CONNECTION DJS
JUNE
COMING SOON 6/19 Cayucas • 6/28 The Purrs • 6/29 The Glass Notes • 6/30 King Dude • 7/3 Juan MacLean •7/5 Gentlemen Hall • 7/7 We Were Heroes • 7/10 Futurebirds • 7/11 Wet City Rockers • 7/13 Whitney Lyman • 7/21 Tu B-av Fest • 7/20 The Piniellas! • 7/25 Groundislava • 8/2 Conte • 8/3 Sebadoh • 8/7 Ken Stringfellow • 8/9 Jamie Commons • 8/15 Filastine • 8/20 Majical Cloudz • 8/22 Scout Niblett • 8/23 Eef Barzelay • 9/6 Bleeding Rainbow • 9/18 Y La Bamba • 9/21 Hanni El Khatib • 9/22 Youryoungbody • 9/23 Jackson Scott • 9/25 Dirty Beache • 9/27 Chelsea
Sheer helliSh NoiSe MiaSMa
Stevie Morris, free the kraken Bar & lounge Psychosomatic, Vicious Circle, LB.!, the Assasinators, $5 a marymoor Park Damian “Jr. Gong” Marley & Stephen Marley, Ghetto Youths Crew, the Green nectar Triaxe, Ollo, Ghost Tribe Fires, 8 pm, $5 nePtune theater Patty Griffin, 8 pm, $36.50/$38 H neumos The Intelligence, La Luz, Pony Time, 8 pm, $13 new orleans Legacy Band, Clarence Acox
ohana Live Island Music
the Break Up, $15
H a heartlanD Street Eaters, Tender Hips, Acapulco Lips, 8 pm Jazz alley Benny GreenMagic Beans, David Wong, Kenny Washington, 7:30 pm, $19.50 kell’s Oliver Mullholland &
Pink Door Casey MacGill & the Blue 4 Trio, 8 pm the royal room Spekulation, the Teaching, $10/$12
a showBox soDo Fall Out Boy, 7 pm, $35/$40
skylark cafe & cluB
Open Mic: Guests a stuDio seven Melechesh, Vried, Lightning
tula’s Greta Matassa Jazz Workshop, 7:30 pm, $10 a vera ProJect The Front Bottoms, Weatherbox, 7:30 pm, $10/$11 vito’s restaurant & lounge Ben Von Wildenhaus, free
DJ
Baltic room Reverb: DJ Rome, Rozzville, Zooty B, Antartic contour Rotation: Rotation Tryouts: Guests, guests, 10 pm, $5 the eagle VJDJ Andy J electric tea garDen Passage: Jayms Nylon, Joey Webb, guests havana SoulShift: Peter Evans, Devlin Jenkins, Richard Everhard, $1
i Pee freely!
Did you hear about how pissed off Pioneer Square is over the never-ending bouquet of drunken pee-pee smells in the streets and alleys of their neighborhood? As we reported last week, a business owner named Joanna Urrego wants to install some homemade outhouses, as a public protest, on July 4. Conversely, I took this sidewalk pee-pee photo in Belltown on Second Avenue. Which neighborhood smells worse? Where doth the bigger river flow? KELLY O
last suPPer cluB Vibe
Wednesday: Jame$Ervin, DT, Contagious
lava lounge Mod Fuck
Explosion: DJ Deutscher
Meister
moe Bar The Hump: DJ Darwin, DJ Swervewon, guests, 10:30 pm, free
neighBours Undergrad:
Guest DJs, 18+, $5/$8
Pony Body 2 Body: 10 pm
see sounD lounge Fade: DJ Chinkyeye, DJ Christyle, 10 pm thurs 6/20
LIVE
aqua
B y e l g aucho Ben Fleck, 6 pm
H Bar B oza John Grant, 8 pm, $15
Barça Clark Gibson Trio, free
H a Black loDge Punch, Holy, the Exquisites, Hysterics, 8 pm
Blue m oon tavern Jojo Jupiter, Novelas, $5
cafe r acer Earl Brooks
H can can Vince Mira
H c ho P s uey Nightmare Fortress, Haunted Horses, Grey Gardens, Music for Evenings, $7
H c onor Byrne Noise for the Needy: Lures, Santee, Man Plus, Goodbye Heart, $8
co PPer g ate Fu Kun Wu
Trio, 8 pm, free
H c roco D ile Big Business, Lesbian, Gaytheist, 8 pm, $12
District l ounge Cassia
DeMayo Quintet, 8 pm, free
e gan’s Jam h ouse Robert Parks, 7:30 pm, free
e l c orazon Dizzy Reed, Prophets of Addiction, Silver Bullets, 8:30 pm, $15/$20
a g uaymas cantina Oleaje Flamenco, 8 pm, free
h ar D rock cafe Chad Knight, 5 pm, free; Spring the Trap, Hellephant, the New Futures, 8 pm, $5
h ighline The Sawyer Family, Bottlenose Koffins, Dying Off, AntiCulture, $7
Jazz a lley Hugh Masekela, $30.50
k ell’s Oliver Mullholland & Stevie Morris, free
l uci D The Hang: Caffeine, 9:30 pm, free
n ectar Revenge of the Band Nerds II Parking
Lot Party: Environmental Encroachment, Church Marching Band, Mighty Tiny Band, guests, 8 pm, $10
n eumos Luciano, Alex Duncan, guests, 8 pm, $20
Pink Door Bric-a-Brac, 8 pm
s carlet t ree How Now Brown Cow 9:30 pm, free
s ea m onster Evan Flory Barnes, 10 pm, free
a s how B ox at the
m arket CSS, Io Echo, 7:30 pm, $22.50 - $25
s kylark cafe & c lu B Burning Lamps, Dangerfield, Newby, Mama Bare, 8 pm, $6
a s mokin’ Pete’s BB q Pickled Okra 7 pm, free
t he s tePPing s tone Pu B Open Mic: Guests
H s unset tavern Noise for the Needy: Peeping Tomboys, Cabana, Prism Tats, Yeah Girl, $10
H t ractor tavern
Noise for the Needy: Said the Whale, Brite Lines, Ghost Town Riot, $10/$12
H a t ri P le Door Noah Gundersen, 8 pm, $12/$15
t ula’s Fred Hoadley’s Sonando, 8 pm, $10
v ito’s r estaurant & l ounge Jennifer Kienzle, free, Casey MacGill, 5:30 pm, free
t he w hite ra BB it Marmalade, $6
kelly o
DJ Nicon, Sean Majors, B Geezy, guests, free Fri
6/21
LIVE aqua By el gauCho Ben Fleck, 6 pm
H BarBoza Colin Stetson, Justin Walter, 7 pm, $13 Blue moon tavern Sir Coyler, the Drama Dodgers, Bonnie & The Bang Bang, Crooked Timber, 9:30 pm, $6 ColumBia City theater Produktive, guests, 8 pm, $10/$13
H Comet Mamma’s Birthday Bonanza!: NighTrain, Fela Kooties, Tramp Kings, DJ Justin Blaine, 8 pm
H Conor Byrne Noise for the Needy: Big Sur, Local Strangers, Alice in the River, James Apollo, $8 CroCodile Mealfrog, the Good Hurt, Whiskey Syndicate, 8 pm, $10/$12
darrell’s tavern Radio Nationals, Hard Money Saints, the Riffbrokers the Hathaways, 8 pm, $8
egan’s Jam house Eric Apoe, Carla Torgerson, $10, the Arsonists, 7 pm, free
H Fred WildliFe reFuge SexPop Vol. 2: Hey Champ, WMNSTUDIES, $10/$15
Fremont Fremont Fair: Publish the Quest, Longstride, the Cumbieros, guests, 5 pm hard roCk CaFe Fractal Native, $7/$10
high dive Trip Like Animals, Keaton Collective, Radio Telescope, 8 pm, $8 Jazz alley Gregory Porter, 9:30 pm, $24.50
H a Josephine Strong Killings, Dogs of War, Soul Food Pinata
kell’s Oliver Mullholland & Stevie Morris, free luCid Eric Hullander Jazz, 6 pm, free a moore theater Grace Potter & the Nocturnals, 8 pm neCtar My Dad Bruce, Irukandji, Physics of Fusion, guests, 7 pm, $6 a neptune theater Chris Mann, 7 pm, $35
H neumos Infinity Ink, Xan Lucero, Adrian Rowe, Aarta, OFDM, Polly poggie tavern Geoff Kraus, free ravioli station trainWreCk Dizzy, guests a the royal room Dead End Friend, Crack Sabbath, free, Piano Royale, 5:30 pm seamonster Funky 2 Death, 10 pm, free
H shoWBox at the market The Dandy Warhols, 8 pm, $22.50/$25
skylark CaFe & CluB Endino’s Earthworm CD Release Party: Valis, Endino’s Earthworm, the Fuzz, 8 pm, $7
a studio seven This is Our Home Fest: Never Met a Deadman, Prepare the Bride, Until This Sunrise, guests, 6:30 pm, $10/$12
H sunset tavern Noise for the Needy: Battleme, River Giant, Smokey Brights, the Brambles, 9:30 pm, $10 traCtor tavern Noise for the Needy: Orgone, Polyrhythmics, 9:30 pm, $15
H a triple door Noah Gundersen, 8 pm, $12/$15
tula’s Bill Anschell Trio, 7:30 pm, $15
H a vera proJeCt School of Rock Performs Pearl Jam and the Thermals: School of Rock, 7 pm, $10/$12
vito’s restaurant & lounge The New Triumph, free the White raBBit My Cartoon Heart, 8 pm, $6
DJ
95 slide DJ Fever One
Ballroom DJ Tamm of KISS fm
Balmar Body Movin’ Fridays: DJ Ben Meadow, free BaltiC room Bump Fridays: Guest DJs
BarBoza Just Got Paid: 100proof, $5 after 11:30 pm Capitol CluB Neoplastic: Marcus G, Jay Battle, DJ Shorthand, free Chop suey A Plus D, DJ Destrukt, DJ Freddy, $5/$10 Contour Afterhours, 2 am CuFF TGIF: C&W Dancing: DJ Harmonix, DJ Stacey, 7 pm, Guest DJs, 11 pm, $5 eleCtriC tea garden All
Ours: D-t3ch, Mikey V, Jason Curtis, the Architects, 10 pm, $10
Fuel DJ Headache, guests havana Rotating DJs: DV One, Soul One, Curtis, Nostalgia B, Sean Cee, $5 last supper CluB
Madness: Guests lava lounge DJ David James merCury The Red Room: DJ Brishan, $5 neighBours The Ultimate Dance Party: DJ Richard Dalton, DJ Skiddle
neighBours underground Caliente
Celebra: DJ Polo, Efren ohana Back to the Day: DJ Estylz
pony Shenanigans: DJ Porq, DJ kKost
sCarlet tree Oh So Fresh Fridays: Deejay Tone, DJ
Buttnaked, guests
see sound lounge Crush:
Guest DJs, free trinity Tyler, DJ Phase, DJ Nug, guests, $10 the Woods Deep/Funky/
Disco/House: Guest DJs
BY
Wednesday 6/19
STREET EATERS, TENDER HIPS, ACAPULCO LIPS
Street Eaters have been hastening the end of civilization for a few years now. The duo’s nervy, chunky, and politically charged punk rock tells tales about the brutality and traumas of modern life, often sounding like a less artsy Death from Above 1979. On their latest self-titled EP, the Bay Area band looks up from the carnage and takes a turn toward self-reflection. One standout song, “Window,” pauses and asks, “Where did my freedom go, my naiveté?/What good has wisdom brought me?” These are questions that all maturing troublemakers have to ask themselves at some point. But amid all the chaos and declamations, cascading harmonies and a vigorous energy seem to shout out that, yes, there is beauty and truth in the detritus, and it’s certainly worth fighting for. Elsewhere on the bill, count on Acapulco
LIVE
2 Bit saloon Fundraiser for Seattle Children’s Hospital: Brad Yaeger and the Night Terrors, White City Graves, We Say Bang! $5
aqua By el gauCho Ben Fleck, 6 pm
BarBoza Th3rdz, Neema, Sonny Bonoho, DJ Lord Nock, 7 pm, $8
H a Cairo Angelo Spencer, Ben Von Wildenhaus, the Correspondents, 8 pm
Chop suey Dangerous Boys Club, Butcher, guests, $10
H ColumBia City theater The Torn ACLs the Lower 48, Blooper, $8/$10
H Comet Water Liars, Lonesome Shack, Baltic Cousins, Lonebird
H Conor Byrne Noise for the Needy: Julia Massey & The Five Finger Discount, the Great Um, the Jesus Rehab, Tangerine, $8
H a CroCodile School of Rock Performs ZAPPA: Come, the Redwood Plan $15, guests, 5 pm, $10
darrell’s tavern The
DT’s, Skullbot, Speed Mop, guests, 8 pm, $8
a doWnstage Paco, Steve Fisk, Johanna Buccola, 7 pm, $10
egan’s Jam house
Bruce Cockburn Tribute Show: Peter Spencer, Holly Figueroa, $10, guests, 6:30 pm
a el Corazon The Gallery, Dylan Jakobsen, Blue Like Jazz, What’s Mine is Yours, Sean Michaels Kight, 7 pm, $10/$12, Adventures, 7:30 pm, $8/$10
a Fremont Fremont Fair: The True Spokes, Project Lionheart, the West, Otis Heat, Hannalee, guests, Sat, Jun 22, noon hard roCk CaFe Kim
Lips to fully usher in our budding summer. The local band has expertly crafted roaring and hook-heavy garage-pop songs about leaving you in the dust—but trust me, it’s in your best interest to keep up. Heartland, 8 pm.
sunday 6/23
NAOMI PUNK, RUBY PINS, FF
Is there a more bittersweet feeling than getting into a band just as their demise becomes imminent? I finally checked out Grass Widow earlier this year and fell in love with their subdued and galactic post-punk, only to discover that the band is now on an extended hiatus
Tonight, we get to see the solo project from the group’s onetime drummer, Lillian Maring, who recorded an album under the name Ruby Pins in nearby Port Townsend. I’ve only heard (and played to death) one song from the forthcoming record. “Chameleon” is enveloping, prickly, and intricate, just like so many of the spellbinding tracks by her old band, but Maring also adds a welcome earthier feel to this new song, and I can’t wait to hear the rest of what Ruby Pins have to offer. I’m also belatedly getting into FF, a Seattle band that serves up a mighty mixture of shoegaze, punk, and grunge. With understated melodies and caustic guitars, FF look backward and forward into our frenetically charmed Northwest musical lineage. Black Lodge, 9 pm.
MARKER
SPACENEEDLES, PONY HOMIE $6
SUN 6/23 INDIAN JEWELRY
MON 6/24
TUE 6/25
WED 6/26
THIS BLINDING LIGHT, KINGDOM OF THE HOLY SUN, DJS VEINS/EXPLORATEUR $10
ANTICULTURE
DOMINO & THE DERELICTS, ENEMY COMBATANTS, KILLSHOT $6
FUTURE FRIDAYS
GAVIN CUMMINGS, THE TASTEFUL NUDE $5
STEEL TIGERS OF DEATH
MONKEY ESCALATOR, THE DUMPS, LOVE IN MIND $6
TUE
FRI 6/21 - SUN 6/23 GREGORY PORTER
”The brilliant new voice of jazz.” -Huffington Post ”
TUE 6/25 - WED 6/26
91.3 KBCS presents VIEUX FARKA TOURÉ
“...original guitar music of such fluidity, technique, rhythmic invention and passion, that it’s virtually unequaled.” - All Music
THU 6/27 - SUN 6/30
BOOKER T. JONES
Hammond B3 soulman touring in support of his new Stax/Concord Record release, “Sound the Alarm.”
2033 6th Ave. | 206.441.9729 all ages | free parking full schedule at jazzalley.com
JACKSON HATHORN
street e aters
Leo Docuyanan
Redwood Plan, No Grave 9PM - All
Summer of Strange Tour 2013 KRIZZ KALIKO
¡Mayday!, Stevie Stone, Cool Nutz, Jay Barz, Hosted by Neema
Saturday July 6th
The Crocodile and Silent City Productions Present THE BAD THINGS: 11 YEARS OF JUNKYARD CABARET
Sinner Saint Burlesque, Miss Marie Lavona and Her White Boy Band, BAKELITE 78 21+
N.I.S. and adhl.org Present A BENEFIT FOR MUSICARES W/ PROPHETS OF ADDICTION
Midstokke, One Gun Shy, Robert Witworth, Hosted by Tee Wanz 21+
TIMOTHY ROBERT GRAHAM Sunday July 7th BOB LOG III Saturday Sept 7th PREFUSE 73
& COMING EVERY TUESDAY LIQUID COURAGE KARAOKE 6/25 VANGUARD 6/26 SOLD OUT QUEENSRYCHE
6/29 AYRON JONES AND THE WAY & THE STAXX BROTHERS 6/30 NEW LUNGS
7/1 HURRY UP AND DIE 7/2 CANCELLED DAN CROLL 7/5 THE NEW FUTURES 7/7 BOB LOG III
7/8 SORNE 7/12 THE CRYING SPELL 7/13 SOLD OUT PASSENGER 7/14 NEIL HAMBURGER AND TIM HEIDECKER 7/19 JUSTIN MARTIN 7/20 DESSA 7/23 HEARTLESS BASTARDS
7/26 WINDOWPANE 7/27 NITE WAVE 7/31 MIKE STUD 8/1 LIGHTNING DUST 8/16 SMITH WESTERNS 8/17 ONE DROP 8/18 PIANO PIANO, SLOW BIRD 8/23 SOULS OF MISCHIEF 8/24 NEAL BRENNAN 8/29 GREGORY ALAN ISAKOV 9/3 MURDER BY DEATH 9/5 POOLSIDE 9/7 PREFUSE 73 10/17 CARBON LEAF
Archer, $10/$13
H Hattie’s Hat Noise for the Needy: “The Rolling Stones”, the Maldives the Blakes, Sassparilla, the Chasers, Ole Tinder, 2 pm, $15
HigH Dive The Braxmatics, Shady Bottom, Scrumptious & The Backbeat, free
HigHline Piano Piano, Clouds Over Moscow, Giza, the Fruiting Bodies, 8 pm, $7
a Hollow eartH raDio
Phine Gage, Time Eater, Simic, $8
Jazz alley Gregory Porter, 9:30 pm, $24.50
Kell’s Oliver Mullholland & Stevie Morris, free
tHe KraKen Bar & lounge Skelator, Humungus, Gunslinger, Toxic Reign, $5 lo-Fi Snap! ’90s Party: The Trashy Trash DJs, Citizen Ten, Freaky Outty, guests, $7/$10
luciD Rachel Lynn Sebastian, TBD
a tHe Mix Dapper Jones guests, free neuMos BellaMaine, Poor Moon, Pure Bathing Culture, 8 pm, $10
a PoncHo concert Hall Hossein Omoumi, 8 pm, $8-$20
Queen city grill Faith
Beattie, Bayly, Totusek, Guity, free
a tHe royal rooM Piano Royale, 6 pm
H a sHowBox at tHe MarKet Camera Obscura, 7 pm, $20/$23
a sHowBox soDo Fiji and Drew Deezy, 8:30 pm, $35
a stuDio seven This is Our Home Fest: Blood Stands Still, Murder Death Kill, Smash Your Enemies, Maya Over Eyes, guests, 5 pm, $10/$12
H sunset tavern Noise for the Needy: Princess, Gladiators Eat Fire, Tacos!, Skies Below, 9:30 pm, $10
tiM’s tavern Alive, She Cried, free
H tractor tavern Noise for the Needy: Horse Feathers, Case Studies,
Pretty Broken Things, 9:30 pm, $15
a triPle Door Grant-Lee
Phillips, Gerald Collier, 8 pm, $17.50/$20
tula’s Marc Seales Quartet, 7:30 pm, $15
a vera ProJect Knowmads, Key Nyata, Pondscum, 7:30 pm, $11
LONDON’S INFINITY INK LET THE GOOD TIMES (ADRIAN) ROWE
VSOP, Jason Lemaitre, guests, $15/free before 10 pm
tHe wooDs Hiphop/R&B/ Funk/Soul/Disco: Guest DJs
LIVE 2 Bit saloon Thac0, the Godbeast, Negative Hole, Burning of I, LB.!, $6
aQua By el gaucHo Ben Fleck, 6 pm
BarBoza Frankmusik, Ride the Universe, the Blind Photographers, 8 pm, $10
H caFe racer The Racer Sessions
H coMet Indian Jewelry, This Blinding Light Kingdom of the Holy Sun conor Byrne Open Mic: Guests, 8 pm
a el corazon Maklak Balsa, 7:30 pm, $8; Benjamin Dunn and the Animal Orchestra, Amanda Markley, Midnight Atmosphere, 8 pm, $8/$10
H a FreMont Fremont Fair: The Horde & the Harem, Country Lips, TubaLuba, Acorn Project, Space Owl, Justin Froese, An American Forest, Sun, Jun 23, noon
H a Hattie’s Hat Noise for the Needy: Kris Orlowski, Hot Bodies in Motion, Cody Beebe and the Crooks, Tango Alpha Tango, guests, 1 pm, $15
HigH Dive Verdant Mile, Half Japanese Girls, 8 pm, $6 Jai tHai BroaDway Rock Bottom Soundsystem, free Jazz alley Gregory Porter, 7:30 pm, $24.50
Kell’s Liam Gallagher little reD Hen Open Mic
Acoustic Jam with Bodacious Billy: Guests, 4 pm
H narwHal Pharmakon, Lust for Youth, Grave Babies, Perpetual Ritual
a ParaMount tHeater Cody Simpson, Ryan Beatty, Before You Exit, 7 pm, $35.75
Pies & Pints Sunday Night
BY DAVE SEGAL
Seattle’s Classcadia promoters are bringing in London duo Infinity Ink (Ali Love and Luca C), smooth operators in the realm of house and garage. This is summery, feel-good dance music with silky melodies, understatedly soulful vocals, and cushiony beats. Representing Bremerton, DJ/producer Adrian Rowe (aka the Googly) deftly works in several styles (techno, house, IDM, dubstep, glitch hop), balancing serious sound design with effective dance-floor tectonics. With Xan Lucero, Aarta, OFDM, and Polly Neumos, 9 pm, $15 adv, 21+.
sunDay 6/23
PHARMAKON’S HELLTONES, LUST FOR YOUTH’S COLD-WAVE ANOMIE Pharmakon (Margaret Chardiet) is perhaps the most extreme artist on the burgeoning New York label Sacred Bones Her stock in trade is sheer hellish noise miasma, but rendered with acute attention to dynamics and texture, and topped off with screams that out-agonize the late Sam Kinison’s. Unfortunately, her internet presence is scant, and I haven’t been able to obtain her 2013 LP Abandon, but what I’ve heard of Pharmakon’s music has made my cells revolt (always a good sign). And “Crawling on Bruised Knees” sounds like the greatest homage to Throbbing Gristle’s “Discipline” ever. Swedish/Danish duo Lust for Youth are in thrall to early-’80s cold-/minimal-wave music and convey their fanaticism for that era’s
Folk Review: Guests, free
H renDezvous Pressed
And, It Is Rain in My Face
tHe royal rooM Jazz Night School, 6:30 pm; free, Billy Wilson and the Bayou Blast, 8 pm, free seaMonster Manooghi Hi, 10 pm, free
sKylarK caFe & cluB
Holly Figueroa, 8 pm, free a stuDio seven Apex of Apathy, Submerged in the Storm, A Crime of Passion, 6:30 pm, $10/$12; The Supervillains, the Informal Gentlemen, Dubsic, 7 pm, $10/$12
sunset tavern VALLEYS, Weeknight, 8 pm, $8/$10
tractor tavern Noise for the Needy: Tyler Bryant & the Shakedown, guests, 1 pm, $15
a triPle Door Bernhoft, Sun Rai, 7:30 pm, $19/$20
tula’s Easy Street, 4 pm; $7, Jim Cutler Jazz Orchestra, 8 pm, $8 a vera ProJect Geoff Rickly, Vinnie Caruana, 6 pm, $10/$12
vito’s restaurant & lounge Ruby Bishop, 6 pm; the Ron Weinstein Trio, 9:30 pm a westlaKe center
Gabbie Rae, 2 pm, free
H a wooDlanD ParK
zoo nortH MeaDow John Prine, guests, 5 pm, $32.50
DJ
Baltic rooM Mass:
Guest DJs
caPitol cluB Island Style:
DJ Bookem, DJ Fentar
contour Broken Grooves:
DJ Venus, Rob Cravens, guests, free
tHe eagle T-Bar/T-Dance:
Up Above, Fistfight, free a Full tilt ice creaM
Vinyl Appreciation Night: Guest DJs, 7 pm
lava lounge No Come Down: Jimi Crash
Mercury ’80s New Wave:
DJ Trent Von, $5
Moe Bar Chocolate Sundays: Sosa, MarsONE,
sleet-slashed synthesizers with aplomb and suitably anomic male vocals. With Grave Babies and Perpetual Ritual Narwhal/Unicorn, 9 pm, $7, 21+.
IT IS RAIN IN MY FACE AND PRESSED AND FOLK UP THE NIGHT BUS
Pressed And have one of the worst names in the music biz, but their output is sweet. The Brooklyn/Chapel Hill duo of Mat Jones and Andrew Hamlet operate in the crowded zone where chill electronic music intersects with folk-leaning pop, with tangential ties to the night bus subgenre. There are acres of bland stuff like this out there now, but Pressed And stand out by sheer dint of their gorgeous, soul-stirring melodies, vividly muted guitar coloration, and distinctive vocal styles. Check out their new album on Mush Records, Stone Candles, for proof. It Is Rain in My Face is Jones’s solo project, and it’s a slightly more intimate iteration of the Pressed And sound: a hushed, burnished folktronica that imagines what Cat Stevens would sound like if he recorded for Captured Tracks. Rendezvous, 9 pm, 21+.
A three-hour whirlwind of cirque, comedy and cabaret served with a five-course feast.
Pharmakon
free tula’s the Music Works Jazz Orchestra, 7:30 pm, $10
BY ADRIAN RYAN
Friday 6/21
RIZ, SLAPPIN’ SOME DICKS
I feel deeply, deeply (okay, that’s too deep) that it is my solemn duty to grab your lapels and give you a good shake every month when Dickslap happens, because HOLY SEX is what. (The last time, Dan Savage gave me buckets full of dildos! If only I understood what they’re for…) Dickslap is the hottest, nakedest, JellO-shootinest thing to happen every 30 days, AND I LOVE IT LIKE A BROTHER. A sexy brother. Okay, let’s not go there. (Slippery slope!) This time features the magical spinnings of RIZ ROLLINS himself. The Seattle Eagle, 10 pm, $5, 21+.
saturday 6/22
HAIRSPRAY, THE ANNIVERSARY
Ten years ago, the most magical night of theater I’ve ever personally experienced (well, almost… top three, easy) happened at the 5th Avenue Theater. Then a porky gay Scientologist came along, crapped on it, and stank it all up FOREVER. (God damn you, Vinnie Barbarino!) It was Hairspray, the Musical, the world premiere, and tonight celebrates the anniversary of all that by taking us to a simpler, better, pre-Travolta age— Hairspray in Concert! Featuring the Seattle (Not Gay) Men’s Chorus and (wait for it…) Jinkx Monsoon herself as the evil, racist, high-haired tiger-mom Velma Von Tussle! Good morning, Baltimore. Fuck you, John Travolta. 5th Avenue Theater, 8 pm, $23–$73, all ages, June 20–23.
suNday 6/23
FAGTASTIC BOYLESQUE TIMES
You love Waxie Moon so much you can’t stand it, and we all know it damn good and well. (Don’t front!)
Tonight, we get a big wet heaping helping of more, more, MORE of her, as “Fagtastic,” a brand-new thing, brings together serious burlesque and cabaret talent to shimmy, dance, strip, quip, and love you back—big-flaming-faggot-style. Presented by EmpeROAR Fabulous!!! and featuring Paco Fish, Waxie, and more. Re-bar, 7:30 pm, $17 adv/$23 DOS, 21+.
WEDNESDAy 6/19
HANDS “KILL ROCK STAR RECORDS” WITH PANAMA GOLD • THE FAME RIOT 9PM • $10
THURSDAy 6/20 NOISE FOR THE NEEDy: PEEPING TOMBOyS
CABANA, PRISM TATS • yEAH GIRL 9PM • $10
FRIDAy 6/21 NOISE FOR THE NEEDy: BATTLEME WITH RIVER GIANT • SMOKEy BRIGHTS • THE BRAMBLES 9:30PM • $10
TUESDAy 6/25 TAKE WARNING PRESENT HyMN FOR HER BUTTERFLIES OF DEATH • JASON SCOTT DODSON OF THE MALDIVES 8PM • $6
FOR FULL CALENDAR AND BOOKING INFO: SUNSETTAVERN.COM
WEDNESDAY JUNE 19 | 7:30 PM
THE FRONT BOTTOMS WEATHERBOX
$11 ($10 W. CLUB CARD) ADVANCE
SATURDAY JUNE 15 | 7:30 PM
HARRY AND THE POTTERS PLUS GUESTS
$11 ($10 W. CLUB CARD)
SUNDAY JUNE 23 | 6:00 PM
VERA PROJECT & TAKE WARNING PRESENTS
GEOFF RICKLY (OF THURSDAY)
VINNIE CARUANA (OF THE MOVIELIFE)
$10 ADV / $12 DOS
WEDNESDAY JUNE 26 | 7:30 PM
DEFIANCE, OHIO YOUR HEART BREAKS
CORNER KICK
$8ADV / $10 DOORS
WEDNESDAY JULY 24 | 7:30 PM
THE EXCEPTIONALLY ORDINARY TOUR RAVEN ZOE, TODD WILLIAMS & MORE!
$15
FRIDAY JULY 26 | 7:00 PM
TAKE WARNING & THE VERA PROJECT PRESENTS
TALLHART, FROM INDIAN LAKES MAKESHIFT PRODIGY
$11 ($10 W. CLUB CARD)
This band-names-as-tattoos idea may have been done before, but certainly not as awesomely as this. Zack Bolotin’s lines are delicate but tough, and the two-color design serves the poster perfectly. Check out more of his work at zackbolotin.com.
AARON HUFFMAN
Shinobu
w/the Wild, Pretty Old, the Palisades Mon June 24, Victory Lounge
BOOM RECORDS (BALLARD) Rose Windows, 7 pm, free SUNSET TAVERN Hymn for Her, Butterflies of Death, Jason Dodson of the Maldives, 8 pm, $6 TIM’S TAVERN Open Mic: Linda Lee, 8 pm TULA’S Mercedes Nicole, 7:30 pm, $15 VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE The Tarantellas, 7 pm, free DJ
★ 95 SLIDE Chicken & Waffles: Supreme La Rock, DJ Rev, free BLUE MOON TAVERN Blue Moon Vinyl Revival Tuesdays: DJ Country Mike, A.D.M., guests, 8 pm, free CONTOUR Electric Groove: Guests THE EAGLE Pitstop: DJ Nark HAVANA Word Is Bond: Hoot and Howl, $3 after 11 pm
LAVA LOUNGE Metal: Doctor Jonze
LO-FI Stop Biting: DJ AbsoluteMadman, AC Lewis, Introcut, Kid Hops, $5
MERCURY Die: Black Maru, Major Tom, $5
★ MOE BAR Cool.: DJ Cory Alfano, DJ Cody Votolato, free NECTAR Top Rankin’ Reggae: DJ Element, Chukki, free NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND Vicious Dolls: DJ Rachael, 9 pm, $5 OHANA DJ Marc Sense
★ WILDROSE Taco Tuesday: Guest DJs
FILM
Film Review Revue
Black
Weirdos, Wine Snobs, Whedony
Shakespeare, and Sofia Coppola
An Oversimplification of Her Beauty
dir. Terence Nance Grand Illusion
The dazzling universe of the local rappers THEESatisfaction is connected to the equally dazzling universe of the NYC filmmaker Terence Nance by way of the hiphop/culture critic dream hampton. In the case of THEESatisfaction, hampton directed the video for “QueenS” (easily the best rap video of 2012); in the case of Terence Nance, hampton was one of the producers for his debut feature, An Oversimplification of Her Beauty (another producer was none other than Beyoncé’s husband). Hampton’s link is important because the universes have so many similarities, the main of which finds its meaning in THEESatisfaction’s defining expression “black weirdo” (which is a man or woman in the R&D department of black American culture).
Oversimplification is about a black weirdo, the director, Nance, who is in love with a stunningly beautiful woman named Namik Minter—real names are used in this film because it maintains no line whatsoever between documentary and fiction, or even animation and reality. Nance is young, a failed carpenter, an urban animal with crazy hair, and a romantic who is committed to a life that has no moment or emotion that’s not processed by his art (making films). If Nance were a bad artist, it’s easy to see how Oversimplification would be unwatchable. But despite his almost megalomaniacal focus on himself, his love for Minter, and Minter’s ultimate rejection of this love, the film does not have one boring moment, has many moments that reach the sublime, and has a couple of moments that cross over into the realm of genius. You will be enchanted (in the original sense of that word) by this film’s surreal animation sequences, its
includes a timed taste test in which the aspirants must not only prove themselves as poets and historians of wine, they must identify three reds and three whites—through taste and smell and vision alone—by varietal, country, region, and, to score most highly, specific vintner and year. Watching them practice in SOMM is amazing; you just cannot quite believe it when they get it right. When they get it wrong, there’s a charge of schadenfreude, as in, well, they can’t tell a viognier from a chardonnay either.
Unfortunately, the amazement found here is diluted by a smarmy, overdone filmmaking style, with bad smooth jazz to match—intertitles of exploding glasses of wine as the tension mounts do not actually help the tension mount. The pacing is also far, far off; as the exam gets closer, scenes become repetitive, and the camera lingering on boring scenes of loading luggage into cars thoroughly undermines the momentum. Most egregiously, the four men, and the institution of wine in general, come off more as a bunch of bros who happen to have a weird, obsessive hobby—one that translates into a lucrative vocation with great cuff links—than as a group of people seeking to perpetuate an arcane but amazing body of knowledge about a beautiful human accomplishment.
BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT
soundtrack (which is part jazz, part funk, part French impressionism, part hiphop), its loops and repetitions, and its poetry. Keep it real; keep it weird. CHARLES MUDEDE
TWatching sommeliers practice in SOMM is amazing.
he way professional wine-people describe wine is both ridiculous and magnificent. The best descriptions of this kind of thing that I have personally ever heard were a red wine described as “lathered ponies”—these bits of poetry are incanted without any bothersome, pedestrian words such as “like”—and a white wine as “flinty soil… the strike of a match, far away.” The four men who hope to earn their Master Sommelier diplomas in the documentary SOMM must strive to achieve such heights, and they more or less get there. Descriptors for glasses of wine found here, often issued in a sort of Aspergian trance, include “freshly opened can of tennis balls,” “fresh new rubber hose,” “decaying dried red rose petals, decaying animal skin,” “grandmother’s closet,” and “can of green beans.” The guy who says the tennis balls/rubber hose thing gets laughed at a little by his compatriots, but only a little. The famously difficult sommelier exam
TMuch Ado About Nothing dir. Joss Whedon Harvard Exit
his movie is a classic example of the they’re-sure-having-fun-up-there concept of entertainment. It was filmed in a matter of days at director/adaptor Joss Whedon’s own house, with actors who are all his friends, in cheap black and white on digital cameras. (Whedon famously conducts after-work readings of Shakespeare with the casts of his television shows and films, so he had plenty of practice.) And you know what? Everybody sure does look like they’re having fun up there, to the point where you want to forgive the film’s obvious flaws just because you feel like you’re an invited guest at an intimate dinner party.
This horny, very funny staging of Much Ado About Nothing is set in an opulent modern-day estate during a wedding, when distant friends and family gather together because they have to. It’s a cozy affair, and the actors are all practically flirting with
Shakespeare’s language (standouts include Clark Gregg, who wins this affable movie’s coveted Most Affable award; Nathan Fillion, who feasts on his small comic-relief role; and Amy Acker as a strong, confident Beatrice). There’s some silly physical comedy, there’s willful deception on a large scale, and, because Much Ado is arguably the world’s first rom-com, every major player makes one asshole move that seems totally out of character. (Blame the writer for that last one.)
But it’s light and fun and funny and
delightful—it’s so rare that a movie claps Shakespeare on the back like an old bud, rather than putting him up on a pedestal like he’s in a museum. Who cares if some of the acting is a little hambone? (Alexis Denisof’s Benedick wavers between charming and cartoonish.) Or that the music, by Joss and Jed Whedon, is simply terrible? Or that a few directorial tricks—a whooshing whiteout transition between scenes is more jarring than useful—seem more telenovela than feature film? Everybody is—all together now—having so much fun up there that you want to forgive them their trespasses. And so you do.
PAUL CONSTANT
The Bling Ring
dir. Sofia Coppola SIFF Cinema Uptown
i t’s the stuff of Hollywood’s increasingly ouroboric wet dreams. The so-called Bling Ring—a brash group of affluent SoCal teenagers who pinched upward of $3 million in cash, clothes, and jewelry from the homes of a half-dozen celebrities—would eventually take up column space on the very gossip sites they used to target their victims. They also pro-
vide an unsurprisingly seductive premise for director Sofia Coppola, whose filmography is three-quarters full of navel-gazey meditations on the emptiness of celebrity (and whose pedigree and closet might have very well made her one of the Bling Ring’s targets). Throw in a handful of beautiful, unknown teen actors, a perfectly over-the-top Emma Watson, and a cameo from at least one real-life victim (Paris Hilton), and you’ve got a recipe for the sort of self-satisfied, lite-postmodern exposition-fest that Hollywood seems so good at these days. So what went wrong with The Bling Ring? With its monotonous succession of nightclubs, elegantly overexposed housing developments, and fancy closets, The Bling Ring is a disappointingly unambitious retelling of the crimes—a beautifully mundane account of the facts, delivered without any meaningful commentary. Though they’re presented with no shortage of contempt, these characters are neither villains nor victims of society—they simply are. As Coppola’s camera lingers over her protagonists’ vanity and self-infatuation, it’s clear she’s fascinated by the motivations of their real-life counterparts—and, presumably, with the sociological implications of their crimes. Problem is, Coppola never manages to translate that fascination into something greater than a sumptuously composed episode of TMZ Which isn’t to suggest that The Bling Ring need be some heavy-handed indictment of celebrity culture, or millennials, or class resentment, or whatever—it would have been just as satisfying as an exhilarating crime caper, or even as hollow, hedonistic eye candy à la Marie Antoinette. The real drag about The Bling Ring is that it’s neither fun nor thoughtful—it’s totally ambivalent. ZAC PENNINGTON
SOMM
dir. Jason Wise SIFF Film Center
an oversimplificaTion of her beauTy Seriously, go see it.
FILM SHORTS
More reviews and movie times: thestranger.com/film
Limited Run
BadMovieart: Lady terMinator
“We’ve seen more dead bodies than you’ve eaten hot dogs, so shut up and eat.” Central Cinema, Wed June 19 at 7 pm.
H BraziL Gilliam’s Orwellian masterpiece. Egyptian, Fri-Sat midnight.
GeekGirLCon Presents dr. Who
Two classic Dr. Who episodes, “The Parting of the Ways” and “Nightmare in Silver,” with a halftime show in between. Central Cinema, Thurs June 20 at 8 pm.
H n-e-X d-o -C-s
See Festive, this page. Northwest Film Forum, Fri-Tues. For complete schedule and showtimes, see www. nwfilmforum.org.
Because Teresa is unable to find men willing to look past her “saggy breasts, wrinkles, and fat ass,” the middle-aged and outwardly prim Austrian gives sex tourism a try. Paradise: Love
follows her very difficult journey in Kenya, as she drifts from one hot young beach boy to the next, all the while grappling with deep vulnerabilities and the sense of going through the motions. Each exchange tells two stories at once. A final scene is profoundly humiliating; once it gets into your head, it won’t get out. (MARTI JONJAK) SIFF Cinema Uptown, Fri 4:30, 7, 9:30 pm, Sat-Sun 7, 9:30 pm, Mon 4:30 pm, Tues 4:30, 7 9:30 pm.
Portrait of Jason Shirley Clarke’s document of the opinions and commentary of Jason Holliday, a gay black resident of 1960s New York City who hustles for a living but has theatrical aspirations. Northwest Film Forum, Fri-Tues 7, 9 pm.
soMM
See review, page 53. SIFF Film Center, Fri 6, 8 pm, SatSun 2, 4, 6, 8 pm, Mon-Tues 6, 8 pm.
a throW of diCe
A silent film based on a story from the Indian epic the Mahabharata, accompanied here live by Jim Riggs on the Wurlitzer organ. Paramount, Mon June 24 at 7 pm.
Wish you Were here
Someone goes missing on a holiday trip to Cambodia in this thriller. Varsity. Fri-Sun 2:15, 4:45, 7:20, 9:25 pm, Mon-Thurs 4:45, 7:20, 9:25 pm
Where to begin? The N-E-X D-O-C-S series, which features innovative documentaries from around the world, is simply packed with brilliant things, striking images, innovative narrative forms. We can, I suppose, enter a park in Chengdu, a city that’s the administrative center of Sichuan Province in China, a city with a population of 14,000,000 souls, a city that’s 2,000 years old. The park in Chengdu is the star of an incredible documentary, People’s Park, by Libbie D. Cohn (a Chinese American) and J. P. Sniadecki (a white American). The documentary, which was shot in July 2011, consists of one take through the park on a very busy day. The camera begins with the leaves of a tree, slowly pans down, and then pushes through a group of men and women who are dancing to high-energy music. The camera passes swaying hips and turning waists, turns, and proceeds down a path. We see people watching the dancers, people walking away from us, people sitting at tables. We go deeper and deeper into the park, passing more and more people. Occasionally, we reach the park’s border and see office towers rising above the trees; the camera then turns and takes another path into the park. There’s more dancing, more singing, more children, more lovers, more teenagers on cell phones. Some look into the camera; others don’t even notice it. One type of music here (traditional Chinese songs) clashes with another there (Euro disco), and during the whole movie, the din is constant and wonderful. This is the human hive; this is the park in a state of democratic perfection. In another documentary, Trash Dance, we enter a strange situation in Austin, Texas. Here, Allison Orr, a
white woman and modern-dance choreographer, talks a crew of black American and Latino trash collectors into performing a dance for the public with their bodies and their trucks. The amazing thing is not that she succeeds in doing this without embarrassing herself (middle class) or the trash collectors (working-class minorities), but that she opens up a world that we almost never see in the news: hardworking black Americans. These people are not fucking around; they know their job stinks, they know that society has a low opinion of the work they do, but nothing—not even smelly dead animals or vomit in trash cans—will stop them from achieving the good life, the health benefits, the money to pay their mortgages. Indeed, almost all of them maintain part-time jobs on the side. Sure, the dance performance is great, but we always see blacks dancing on TV. What we don’t see often enough are blacks doing backbreaking work so they can enjoy the quiet of a garden, or perfect their skills on a barbecue, or lavish money on their children.
I have run out of space. But there’s also the fucking amazing Public Hearing, which is a reenactment of the minutes from a public hearing concerning the zoning of a Walmart expansion in a small town in New York, directed by James N. Kienitz Wilkins. The whole affair will break your heart. America can be so cruel sometimes. (CHARLES MUDEDE)
N-E-X D-O-C-S runs June 21–26 at Northwest Film Forum. Full info at nwfilmforum.org.
Got a film festival you want us to write about? E-mail festive@thestranger.com.
by
DOME
AWAY FROM HOME
Hey everybody. How’s it going? Good, I hope. What’s that? How am I? Oh, thanks for asking. Ummm… I suppose I’m doing pretty good… that is IF YOU WOULD PLEASE STOP WATCHING CBS BECAUSE YOU’RE RUINING TV FOR EVERYBODY ELSE AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHH!!!!
I’m serious, people! I don’t know if it’s you or your grandparents (why are they still ALIVE??), but a poop-ton of people are watching the absolutely AWFUL shows on CBS. So what, you ask? SO THIS: When money-hungry network execs see that CBS has 12 (TWELVE!!) of the top 25 shows (with the abysmal NCIS on the tippy-top), and they are choosing between a new show that’s thoughtful, intelligent, and actually trying and one that relies on a laugh track and fart jokes… which do you think they’ll choose?
SO FOR THE GOOD OF ALL TV, STOP WATCHING CBS!!!
Except for this week.
Okay, okay, FINE! So CBS has ONE good show debuting this week! So the fuck what? Even a monkey can masturbate to porn if you give him enough Playboy s! Wait… I said that wrong. Even a monkey can write Shakespeare if you give him a typewriter and enough porn! No… WHATEVER!! My point is that if we all watch this ONE decent-looking CBS show and nothing else on CBS, then maybe they’ll stop cramming Criminal Minds down our throats!
So what’s this “decent-looking” CBS
show? It’s Under the Dome (debuting Mon June 24, 10 pm)—and as you masturbating monkeys who love to read already know, it’s based on a popular Stephen King book, AND executive produced by Steven Spielberg, AND developed by nerd god Brian K. Vaughan (of Lost and Y: The Last Man fame). And the plot is more interesting than 1,000 episodes of NCIS: Life is seemingly good in the small fictional town of Chester’s Mill (pop. 1,976) UNTIL! Boomshacka-lacka! A giant invisible dome drops over the entire town! (Yes, the same thing happened in The Simpsons Movie—but this show is totally different: Everyone here has pink skin and five fingers on each hand.)
Nobody gets in; nobody gets out—if you touch the dome, it shocks you, and it extends 20,000 feet into the sky (which provides plenty of awesome plane crashes… inside and out)! How did it get there? Well, if you’ve read the book you already know… or if you’re familiar with Stephen King, you can probably guess. But here’s the point: While Chester’s Mill was only slightly creepy before, now the town’s populace shifts into creepy overdrive Dictator-like politics form, morals go out the window, and eventually the inhabitants will have to deal with the fact they’re running out of food. (Pro tip: Don’t dress up like a pork chop!)
Under the Dome stars Breaking Bad’s Dean Norris (Hank! SQUEEE!). And best of all? There are no plans to stretch it into another season. Thirteen episodes and they’re out the door—or flattened by the dome, whichever comes first.
So do your part to save the future of television by watching Under the Dome and absolutely nothing else on CBS! I, and a legion of masturbating monkeys typing Shakespeare, thank you. n
Free Will Astrology
by Rob bRezsny
For the Week of June 19
tion.” Now is an excellent time to imagine yourself in these terms, Cancerian. You’re not a finished product and never will be! Celebrate your fluidity, your changeableness, your instinctual urge to reinvent yourself.
restroom: “Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.”
ARIES (March 21–April 19): Maybe you’ve seen that meme circulating on the internet: “My desire to be well-informed is at odds with my desire to remain sane.” If you feel that way now—and I suspect you might soon if you don’t already— you have cosmic permission, at least for a while, to emphasize sanity over being well-informed. Lose track of what Kim Jong-un and Kim Kardashian are up to, ignore the statements of every jerk on the planet, and maybe even go AWOL from the flood of data that relentlessly pours toward you. Instead, pay attention to every little thing your body has to tell you. Remember and marvel at your nightly dreams. Go slow. Lay low. Be soft. Have fun with unspectacular influences that make you feel at home in the world.
TAURUS (April 20–May 20): I expect you will be called on to move fluidly between opposing camps or competing interests or different realities. Maybe you’ll volunteer to serve as an arbiter between the crabby good guys and the righteous bad guys. Perhaps you’ll try to decode one friend’s quirky behavior so that another friend can understand it. You might have to interpret my horoscopes for people who think astrology is bunk. You may even have to be a mediator between your own heart and head, or explain the motivations of your past self to your future self. You can’t be perfect, of course. There will be details lost in translation. But if you’re as patient as a saint and as tricky as a crow, you’ll succeed.
GEMINI (May 21–June 20): Pablo Casals was one of the greatest cello players who ever lived. Among his early inspirations was the music of Johann Sebastian Bach. Casals discovered Bach’s six cello suites when he was 13 years old, and he played them every day for the next 13 years. Have you ever done something similar, Gemini? Devoted yourself to a pleasurable discipline on a regular basis for a long time? I invite you to try it. The coming months will be an excellent time to seek mastery through a diligent attention to the details.
CANCER (June 21–July 22): “I know that I am not a category,” said philosopher Buckminster Fuller. “I am not a thing—a noun. I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process.” Philosopher Norman O. Brown had a similar experience. “The human body is not a thing or substance, but a continuous creation,” he mused. “It is an energy system which is never a complete structure; never static; is in perpetual inner self-construction and self-destruc-
LEO (July 23–Aug 22): Renowned 20thcentury theologian Karl Barth worked on his book Church Dogmatics for 36 years. It was more than 9,000 pages long and contained more than six million words. And yet it was incomplete. He had more to say and wanted to keep going. What’s your biggest undone project, Leo? The coming months will be a good time to concentrate on bringing it to a climax. Ideally, you will do so with a flourish, embracing the challenge of creating an artful ending with the same liveliness you had at the beginning of the process. But even if you have to culminate your work in a plodding, prosaic way, do it! Your next big project will be revealed within weeks after you’ve tied up the last loose end.
VIRGO (Aug 23–Sept 22): Susannah Cibber was a popular 18th-century English contralto whose singing was expressive and moving. On one occasion, she performed Handel’s Messiah with such verve that an influential priest responded by making an extravagant guarantee. He told her that as a result of her glorious singing, any sins she had committed or would commit were forever forgiven. I’d like to see you perpetrate an equivalent amazement, Virgo: a good or beautiful or soulful deed that wins you a flood of enduring slack. The cosmic omens suggest that such an achievement is quite possible.
LIBRA (Sept 23–Oct 22): Johnny Appleseed was a 19th-century folk hero renowned for planting apple trees in vast areas of rural America. During the 70 years this famous Libra was alive, he never got married. He believed that if he remained unwed during his time on earth, he would be blessed with two spirit-wives in the afterlife. Have you ever done something like that yourself, Libra? Is there an adventure you’ve denied yourself in the here and now because you think that’s the only way you can get some bigger, better adventure at a later date? If so, now would be an excellent time to adjust your attitude.
SCORPIO (Oct 23–Nov 21): “It is kind of fun to do the impossible,” said Walt Disney, a pioneer animator whose cartoon innovations were remarkable. Judging from your current astrological omens, I think you Scorpios have every right to adopt his battle cry as your mantra. You’ve got an appointment with the frontier. You’re primed to perform experiments at the edge of your understanding. Great mysteries will be tempting you to come closer, and lost secrets will be teasing you with juicy clues. As you explore and tinker with the unknown, you might also want to meditate on the graffiti I saw scrawled on a mirror in a public
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22–Dec 21): Astronauts on lunar expeditions have orbited the moon and seen its entire surface. But the rest of us have never seen more than 59 percent of it. As the moon revolves around Earth, it always keeps one side turned away from our view. Isn’t that amazing and eerie? The second most important heavenly body, which is such a constant and intimate factor in our lives, is half hidden. I’d like to propose that there is an analogous phenomenon in your inner world, Sagittarius: a part of you that forever conceals some of its true nature. But I’m pretty sure you will soon be offered an unprecedented chance to explore that mysterious realm.
CAPRICORN (Dec 22–Jan 19): AngloIrish novelist Laurence Sterne married his wife Elizabeth in 1741. Twenty-five years later, he fell in love with another woman, Eliza. In composing love letters to his new infatuation, he lifted some of the same romantic passages he had originally written to Elizabeth when he was courting her. Try hard not to do anything remotely resembling that, Capricorn. Give your intimate allies your freshest stuff. Treat them as the unique creatures they are. Resist the temptation to use shticks that worked to create closeness in the past.
AQUARIUS (Jan 20–Feb 18): It’s important that you not punish yourself or allow yourself to be punished for the sins that other people have committed. It’s also crucial that you not think nasty thoughts about yourself or put yourself in the presence of anyone who’s prone to thinking nasty thoughts about you. Self-doubt and self-criticism may be healthy for you to entertain about 10 days from now, and at that time you will probably benefit from receiving compassionate critique from others, too. But for the moment, please put the emphasis on self-protection and self-nurturing.
PISCES (Feb 19–March 20): For more than three decades, a man in Assam, India, has worked to build a forest. When Jadav “Molai” Payeng started planting and tending seeds at the age of 16, the sandbars bordering the Brahmaputra River were barren. Today, almost entirely thanks to him, they’re covered with a 1,360-acre forest that harbors deer, birds, tigers, rhinos, and elephants. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you could launch a comparable project in the next 12 months, Pisces—a labor of love that will require your persistent creativity and provide you with sanctuary for a long time.
Homework: It’s a shame so many of us try to motivate ourselves through abusive self-criticism. Are you guilty of this sin? How so? What will you do to change? Write freewillastrology.com.
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IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF WASHINGTON IN AND FOR KING COUNTY SAMMY WOONHA LEE, an individual, Plaintiff. v. TOMMIE FRANKLIN REGISTER AND TINA REGISTER, as individuals and a marital community, JOHN L. BOWERS AND ARLA BOWERS, as individuals and a marital community, BEN WATSON, and DARYL AND JUDY JOHNSON, as individuals and a marital community. Defendants.
Case no. 12-2-39208-1 SEA SUMMONS BY PUBLICATION TO TOMMIE FRANKLIN REGISTER (60 days)
The State of Washington to the said TOMMIE FRANKLIN REGISTER: You are hereby summoned to appear within sixty days after the date of the first publication of this summons, to wit, within sixty days after the 12th day of June, 2013, and defend the above-entitled action in the above-entitled court, and answer in writing the complaint of the plaintiff Sammy Woonha Lee, and serve a copy of your answer upon the undersigned attorneys for plaintiff Lee, at their office below stated. In case of your failure to do so, judgment will be rendered against you according to the demand of the complaint, which has been filed with the clerk
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MUSICIANS WANTED
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RED BEANIE: BEACON OF LOVE
I saw you 6/5/13! You’re a sassy cutie who works at the Roosevelt Whole Foods coffee bar. You gave me peppermint tea and we talked about plumbing. When: Wednesday, June 5, 2013. Where: Roosevelt Whole Foods. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #919728
WALKING ALLY? Thursday 6/6 we stood together at 2nd
LIBERTY CAFE BLUE HAIRED BEAUTY
muster “hello” before language became an alien tool I fumbled with clumsily. Me: long hair, tattoos, goofy grin. You’re beautiful! Meet for a drink and burrito? When: Tuesday, June 11, 2013. Where: Renton, 3rd ave. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919747
CROSSING BELLEVUE AND DENNY
OF
You, brunette, perfect dress and stockings, and glasses. Me, riding by on red bike, blond, sunglasses. You made me double-take, struck me as sweet and true blue. Would love to take you out but at least a thank you. When: Friday, June 14, 2013. Where: Bellevue and Denny. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919746
SHARED A TABLE AT STARBUCKS
You: short haired half Asian girl working on MacBook Me: kinda scruffy Asian guy working on MacBook. I have tattoos. When: June 12 I thought you were cute and I’m kicking myself for never getting your name. Coffee again? When: Wednesday, June 12, 2013. Where: Starbucks outside Fred Meyer in Ballard. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919745
CANADIAN TUXEDO & CHOPS
You stood by me at METZ at Neumo’s & Haunted Horses at Comet. We obviously have great taste but whenever seek you out to talk to you, you disappear. Bring your jean jacket over & listen to records? When: Thursday, June 6, 2013. Where: The Comet. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919744
GEOCACHE HUNTER AT ARCHIE MCPHEE
You are Mick from Kirkland. Getting Geocache treasures at Archie McPhee. Chickens, hippos and eggs. You smiled at me so much. We swapped names but nothing more. Were you being super friendly or super flirty? I was flirting with you. When: Thursday, June 13, 2013. Where: Archie McPhee. You: Man. Me: Man. #919743
DOWNTOWN RUNNERS
DEBATE THE OCCULT
We met at the light by ReBar. You said my attire made you green, green with envy. I swore we’d met before maybe in a past life. If you believe in that sort of thing, you said. When: Monday, June 10, 2013. Where: Rebar Downtown. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919742
SIREN ON THE 49
Your smile left me stupefied at around 1:15pm, Thursday the 13th. You got out at the Egyptian Theater. should have asked for your number. You: Curly hair, narrow black skirt, sorcery. Me: Denim jacket, beard, speechless. Let’s meet up! When: Thursday, June 13, 2013. Where: the 49. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919741 CUTE BRUNETTE AT STONE GARDENS
Speckled&Drake balcony, long hair boy
Hey man, I know that we were thinking the same when we looked at each other several times. Let’s talk! You: longer hair, 20s, with a friend on the balcony. I hope you read this so we can finally connect.
help but stare. I’d love to meet up with you some time. When: Saturday, June 8, 2013. Where: Arby’s. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919736
SIFF CLOSING GALA MOHAI
Visited briefly at the SIFF Closing Gala at MOHAI. We talked about how cool the museum is, that you’re from Maryland and I’m a Seattle native. Glass of wine? When: Sunday, June 9, 2013. Where: MOHAI. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919735
MERIDIAN PARK, YOU WERE READING
You: light brown buzz cut. Me: long blonde hair. You were lying in the grass reading a thick paperback. I said something snarky. You said I was mean. I’m not mean, just like you. Wanna grab coffee sometime? When: Sunday, June 9, 2013. Where: Meridian Park. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919732
VEGETABLES BY SHAPE
You are Lamai and you checked me out at Fremont’s PCC, asking if I choose vegetables based upon shape. ‘Of course,’ I said. Might you say ‘of course’ to this invite to lunch or supper with me? When: Friday, June 7, 2013. Where: Fremont PCC. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919730
TURQUOISE TOP & SHOULDER TATTOO I was driving out of the Fremont PCC around a quarter to 3, when saw you walking on Evanson Ave. in a turquoise top, black ankle-length skirt, and a tattoo on your shoulder. I thought you were pretty foxy. When: Sunday, June 9, 2013. Where: Fremont. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919729
TRADE 545 BUS FOR CONVERTIBLE It was
morning. I was going
I
love to learn more about you! My bus stop came WAY too soon. When: Friday, June 7, 2013. Where: 545 bus to Redmond. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919726
GABBY G’S GOT GAME Completely forgot where I was going when heard your sweet siren songs. Crashing up on the rocks never felt so good. When: Thursday, June 6, 2013. Where: Goldendale. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919739
RED VOLVO DEXTER & DENNY Lady in the red 2000 volvo s40. 12:30am. You complimented me on my car. chocked. Light changed. wish I’d given you my number. I dug the hippie look you had going on. -Dude in the Blue ‘82 When: Friday, June 7, 2013. Where: Dexter & Denny. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919725
BEAUTIFUL INDIAN WOMAN
QFC I saw you shopping for produce at the Uptown QFC around 2:00pm in the afternoon. We passed each other in the aisles a few times. You had on a turqoise/aqua shirt, tan/kaki pants, and black cardigan? You were lovely. When: Thursday, June 6, 2013. Where: Uptown QFC. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919722
RUDYS, YOU LOOKED BACK Rudy’s, U-district, June 5th, 7ish. should’ve stopped writing sooner so we could have talked more. You looked great in purple. You looked back at me as you left and I haven’t stopped thinking about you since. A drink sometime?
SAVAGE LOVE
Mayo By Dan Savage
I’m a straight guy in my early 30s with an amazing girlfriend of two years. A few months ago, I felt open enough to share my taboo fantasy: father/daughter incest. My GF, to my delight, not only understands the fantasy but enjoys participating in it!
Quickly: I have ZERO interest in this kind of thing actually happening. I understand the kind of damage that sexual abuse can do and has done to many, many women, and I would never pursue something like this in real life. Now the problem: We’ve added the “wrinkle” of me talking to another man on the phone while my GF fellates me. The man—a stranger, someone we found online—has been led to believe that I am being fellated by my daughter while we speak. Of course, he can hear the noises associated with said activity while he and I are talking. We do not in any way lead these guys to believe that they have a chance to meet us. We want to enjoy our sexual fantasies, but we worry that we could be inadvertently encouraging someone to make their fantasies a reality. Any advice?
No
Acronym
guson [of Texas A&M] explains. ‘At this point, I think we can say the evidence just isn’t there, and it is time to retire this belief.’”
The complicating factor here, of course, is that you’re leading these men to believe that you’re actually doing it , i.e., the noises they’re hearing are your daughter blowing you and not you stirring a jar of mayo. So will the men you talk to want to rape their daughters in real life because you’ve led them to believe that you’re raping your daughter? Hard to say… and even harder to get data on. But the people doing taboo shit in porn are actually doing it, and the data suggests that watching others do it, i.e., living vicariously through porn performers (who are sometimes faking it, but still), leads to fewer people acting on taboo desires in real life, not more.
Seems To Yodel
The incest fetishists you meet in chat rooms and get on the phone? For all they know, you could be alone in a room stirring a jar of mayonnaise with a slotted spoon. And for all you know, NASTY, the incest fetishists you’re meeting in chat rooms could be police officers looking to bust men who are actually raping their daughters. Just sayin’.
As for your problem, NASTY, most people with incest fantasies insist that they’re not turned on by the idea of having sex with their actual parents, siblings, or children. Incest scenarios turn them on abstractly, but they have ZERO interest in their own siblings or parents or children specifically. That can’t be true for all incest fetishists—statistically speaking—but any incest fetishists who’re turned on by the thought of actually fucking their sibs/parents/children would have a motive and/or the good sense to lie.
But let’s set your specific fantasy aside for the moment—which is an upsetting one for most people to contemplate (because ick), particularly those who were sexually abused by family members (because rape)—and focus on the underlying question: Does exploring something taboo through fantasy make someone likelier to go and do that thing in real life?
The evidence we’ve got about porn points to no.
“Perhaps the most serious accusation against pornography is that it incites sexual aggression,” Melinda Wenner Moyer wrote in the July 2011 issue of Scientific American (“The Sunny Side of Smut”). “But not only do rape statistics suggest otherwise, some experts believe the consumption of pornography may actually reduce the desire to rape by offering a safe, private outlet for deviant sexual desires.”
What you’re producing for the men you get on the phone is a kind of pornography, NASTY, and Moyer demonstrates that the wider availability of internet pornography has correlated strongly with falling rates of sexual violence—and incest between an adult and a minor is sexual violence.
“Within the U.S., the states with the least Internet access between 1980 and 2000—and therefore the least access to Internet pornography—experienced a 53 percent increase in rape incidence, whereas the states with the most access experienced a 27 percent drop in the number of reported rapes, according to a paper published in 2006 by Anthony D’Amato, a law professor at Northwestern University,” Moyer writes. “It is important to note that these associations are just that—associations. They do not prove that pornography is the cause of the observed crime reductions. Nevertheless, the trends ‘just don’t fit with the theory that rape and sexual assault are in part influenced by pornography,’ [Professor Christopher J.] Fer -
I’m a 40-year-old gay man who has his life fairly together (career, home, etc.). But I’ve never had a LTR. I’ve dated this guy “D” three times, and I broke it off three times. I feel like such an ass. I’m attracted to D, he is sweet, hot, and funny, but he’s obviously gay. I worry that my mom might not like him—she has made snide comments about obviously gay guys “advertising it”—and I am very close to my mom. D and I have started hanging out again, and we are having fun. He is not mad at me. The plan is to just hang out, and I just don’t know WTF I am doing. Should I just see how things go?
Messed Up Dude
Let me see if I’ve got this straight, MUD: You like D, you’re into D, and D is sweet and hot and funny. But you’ve dumped D three times because your mommy wouldn’t approve, and you’re really close to your mommy… and you’re worried that D is the gay stereotype in this relationship?
I am a 23-year-old female devotee of disabled men. I have a strong desire to be with men with all types of disabilities, but I mostly gravitate toward severe CP and quadriplegics. But my passions in life involve travel, sports, my bike, camping, overseas disaster aid, and a whole load of other things that are made either difficult or impossible when you can’t walk. I have always dated able-bodied men as a result. I would feel guilty fucking a disabled guy—I would see an “expiration date” on our relationship. Would it be wrong for me to seek out disabled guys just for sex? I don’t feel guilt for my sexuality being what it is, but I do feel guilty when I think about using disabled men for sex.
Some Chick Who Likes Wheels
Maybe you should let disabled men decide for themselves if they want to be used for sex. Some won’t mind, SCWLW, just as some gay guys don’t mind being used for sex by bisexual and/ or closeted guys who aren’t interested in dating other men, just fucking them. Disabled adults are adults, and they’re free to make their own choices. So long as they’re making informed choices—so long as you’re not misleading anyone to get into his pants and/or up on his wheels—you’re not doing anything wrong. n
On this week’s Savage Lovecast, Dan talks with a former stripper about her lurking shame. Also, hear an interview with Daniel Bergner, author of the book What Do Women Want?, about what women want, all at savagelovecast.com.
Dan’s new book, American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics, is available now! mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter
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PIANIST AVAILABLE
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I’m Richard Peterson, 64 year old composer, arranger, and pianist. I’m available to play parties, weddings, clubs, shows, etc. $200/gig. Covers and originals. Please call 206-325-5271, Thank You! CD available. Must have piano!
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