The Stranger Vol. 22, No. 23

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Introducing a completely new way to carshare. Just take a car2go when you need it, and park it when you’re done. No need to return to a designated spot or worry about For a limited time, sign up for free lifetime membership and receive D). seattle.car2go.com

PUBLIC EDITOR

by Amb ER bRA u N Owner, Watz Brewin’ Coffee Company

I t is so hard for any small-business owner to get a foothold in this terrible economy. Why muddy the waters with unnecessary bad press, too? We at the Watz Brewin’ Coffee Company (on 45th in Wallingford, just west of I-5!) would like to express our dismay at ANNA MINARD’s heartless heckling of a local small businessman trying to do right by his employees and his city. Watz Brewin’ Coffee Company stands with Cherry Street Coffee owner Ali Ghambari’s original position in this matter.

In fact, Ghambari didn’t go far enough. He placed signs on all Cherry Street registers explaining that his business would have to add a 1.5 percent surcharge to pay for employee sick time, which is a new requirement in the city of Seattle. And Minard lambasted the poor man for it! Maybe she would like to visit Watz Brewin’ (seriously, you could throw a rock from the intersection of 45th and I-5 and hit our front door! Stop by and visit sometime!) to see what a reasonable response to Seattle’s nanny state looks like. In addition to a 1.5 percent sick-time surcharge, we also add a 10-cent hand-washing fee to every item handled by employees. Did you know that you are supposed to sing “Happy Birthday” twice to yourself every time you wash your hands to ensure maximum cleanliness? That’s anywhere between 20 and 25 seconds per handwashing session, which can total anywhere from three to five minutes of wasted time per eight-hour shift! And that’s not including our 20-cent recycling fee (those recycle bins don’t clean themselves), our

1 percent OSHA surcharge (it’s unreasonable to expect businesspeople to carry the burden of all those regulatory hassles), and the flat nickel-per-drink charge that covers the state’s ridiculous requirement that every employee get 15 minutes of paid “break” time for every four hours they work. I’m surprised the mayor doesn’t hire city officials to just wander around from storefront to storefront, dipping their hands right into the cash register and taking out money as they please! Minard’s antibusiness screed isn’t much of a surprise, though. Everything about The Stranger seems devoted to killing small businesses. GOLDY, with his push for still more taxes in this state, won’t be happy until every entrepreneur is drummed out of business. The only thing “regressive” about Washington’s tax structure is that it requires local heroes of small business to live like cavemen. We’re losing the roofs over our heads!

But The Stranger doesn’t care that I can’t afford to send my kids to private school anymore. Instead, they send MEGAN SELING to rave about a chain pizza restaurant as the week’s big review. I’d ask her to consider a review of Watz Brewin’s delicious panini sandwiches—best in Wallingford!—but Seling would probably wind up praising the Starbucks next door for the adorable way they call out all their customers by name. You can’t win with these creeps. You just can’t win. n

Comment on Public Editor at THESTRANGER .CO m

Kim Fu, Sean Jewell, Jen Kagan, Jocelyn Macdonald, Katie Martin, Cate McGehee, Kaytlin McIntyre, Krishanu Ray, Hallie Santo

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S igner S Chelcie Blackmun, Joel Schomberg, Shena SmithConnolly

LAST DAYS

The Week in Review

by Davi D Schma D er

HOLY!

MONDAY, JANUARY 28 This week of good news, bad news, and news that makes one want to never stop throwing up kicks off with the latter in Brazil, where an evangelical pastor stands accused of tricking his religious adherents into sucking his penis . Details come from the Spanish news website Qué.es, which identifies the tricky pastor as Valdeci Sobreno Picanto, who allegedly told members of his flock that the Holy Spirit secreted from his penis in the form of “sacred milk.” As one alleged victim told the press, “Often, after worship, Pastor Valdeci would take us to… the back of the church and asked us to have oral sex with him until the Holy Spirit would come through ejaculation.” This pastor is in

NIGHTCLUBBED

I decided against my better judgment to accompany my girlfriend to a show at your venue. I have seen and heard awful things about your venue countless times, but she really wanted to go, and after what I’ve seen there in the past, I couldn’t let her go alone. Thanks to your very own staff, however, I no longer need to worry about that. While outside on a smoke break, myself, my girlfriend, several friends, and countless others witnessed the girl you had working the door scream a barrage of the most racist and homophobic slander I have ever heard spew from any individual’s mouth, and I used to have friends that were Nazis! Now, I don’t know what her deal was with the people she was screaming at, nor do I care. Being that I have several friends who are members of the gay community, I was, how do you say, FUCKING DISGUSTED by what the bitch was saying. If I wasn’t so dead set against men hitting women, I would’ve knocked her out myself. I watched as your staff stood there watching another member of YOUR STAFF commit more or less a hate crime where the whole show could see, and clearly none of your staff had any problem with it. So I guess this isn’t so much of a fuck you but a thank you. Thank you, crappy venue, for hiring such a piece-of-shit bitch. Now I don’t have to worry about my girlfriend, or several friends, ever going there, because we all agreed there isn’t a chance in hell we will ever support your venue again. Good luck with your bigot scum. —Anonymous

jail, and this whole story is fucking ridiculous, but after the Catholic Church’s recent couple of decades, we can’t put anything past them.

•• In far less goofy news, today Seahawks linebacker Leroy Hill was arrested on investigation of unlawful imprisonment and thirddegree assault after he allegedly punched his girlfriend a dozen times, struck her with a bottle, stood on her chest, and effectively held her hostage for six hours because she reportedly misplaced her keys. Six hours later, she was able to escape and alert police while Hill was in the bathroom. “On Thursday, a King County Superior Court judge [will] set Hill’s bail at $150,000,” reports Seattlepi.com.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 29 In much better news, today brings this heartening sentence from Reuters: “Foes of same-sex marriage are laboring to pay the tab for an epic legal case now before the US Supreme Court, as the movement suffers from fundraising shortfalls that could sap its strength in future battles.” Here’s another: “ProtectMarriage.com, the advocacy group defending a California gay marriage ban now under review by the high court, showed a $2 million deficit in its legal fund at the end of 2011—the third year in a row that expenses exceeded donations, federal tax records show.” Reuters-identified reasons for the fundraising falloff: “donor fatigue, the dramatic rise in public support for gay marriage, and the softening of some major gay marriage opponents.”

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 30 In much worse news, today brings this galling sentence from Seattlepi.com: “Ex-UW frat president charged with rape, again.” Here’s another: “The charge marks the second time in three years Edwin ‘Kevin’ De Boer has been charged with sexually assaulting a young woman following a night of drinking.” As Seattlepi.com reports, De Boer’s first sexual assault charge came in 2009, when he was an undergrad serving as president of a University of Washington fraternity, where he allegedly raped a 21-year-old student during a party. For this first rape charge, De Boer took a plea deal that allowed him to avoid registering as a sex offender or even admitting to rape, and required him to perform 15 days of community service. Which brings us to De Boer’s current sexual assault charge: “King County prosecutors contend De Boer, 26, spiked the woman’s drink with a sedative during a date, then raped her at his apartment,” reports Seattlepi.com. “Police contend De Boer denied drugging [the woman] but admitted to sexually assaulting her while they were together.” Having pleaded not guilty to charges of seconddegree rape, De Boer is currently jailed on $300,000 bail.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 31 The week continues with a day of sentencing. The subject of the first sentence: Gavin J. Haggith, the 30-year-old man in Ferndale who was today found guilty of getting out of his car and punching a jogger in a bout of “road rage,” for which he was sentenced to more than two years in prison for assault. The subject of the second sentence: Donald McNeely, a 55-yearold Bothell man who today pleaded guilty to fatally shooting his wife, who, as the Associated Press reports, was dying of brain cancer but was ineligible for legal physician-assisted death due to dementia. After pleading guilty to second-degree murder, McNeely was sen-

DearGo

TheColumnIn WhichGodanswers YourQuestions

I have this friend who was maybe a Disney-starletturned-promising-young-actor who’s spent the past decade dodging jail and doing drugs. If you had to bet money, how long would you say she has left to live? (Be specific—I’m taking what you say straight to my bookie.)

Jill

Dear Jill, First, you are a terrible person. I am ashamed to have made you in my image and don’t be surprised if I give you cancer. Second, you’re

tenced to two years in prison. The subject of the third sentence: Army Specialist Patrick Myers, the 27-yearold soldier at Fort Hood, Texas, who today pleaded guilty to accidentally and fatally shooting his friend while trying to relieve his hiccups.

“Myers told police he thought the weapon had dummy rounds and was trying to scare his friend so his hiccups would stop,” reports the Associated Press. After pleading guilty to involuntary manslaughter, Myers was sentenced to three and a half years in military prison.

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 1 In lighter news, the week continues in Los Angeles, where today a man wanted on suspicion of drunken driving led police on a slow-speed chase, which ended after the man pulled over to inhale the contents of a balloon and was yanked out of the vehicle by cops. “The suspect was identified by his father, who was at the scene, as 24-year-

too late. It’s already happened. Check Twitter. God

Dear God, Once and for all, how many in the pink and how many in the stink?

Keep on truckin’, Daryl

Dear Daryl, I did not lovingly craft the intricate human digestive system so some four-wheeling creep could come along and rename its mostly valuable component “the stink.” It’s called the anus, you shitbag, and in it you should put one, while putting two in the pink.

Love, God

old Jorge Leonardo Sanchez,” reports NBC. “The man’s father told NBC4 that Sanchez had problems in the past with nitrous oxide, an inhalant typically known as laughing gas that when huffed creates a feeling of euphoria.”

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 2 In worse news, the week continues at a gun range in Erath County, Texas, where today Chris Kyle— best-selling author, former Navy SEAL, and mental-health advocate for military veterans with PTSD—was fatally shot by a man he’d taken to the gun range to “aid his recovery,” as police told ABC News. “A second man, identified by police as 35-year-old Chad Littlefield, was also shot at point-blank range and killed,” reports ABC. “The suspect, identified by police as 25-year-old Eddie Ray Routh, is a veteran who served in Iraq and Haiti, and who police say may have been suffering from some type of mental illness from being in the military.” Routh will be charged with two counts of capital murder.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 3 Nothing happened today, unless you count the Super Bowl, the Puppy Bowl, the Beyoncé Bowl, or the deadly attack on a police station in the northern Iraqi city of Kirkuk, which resulted in the deaths of at least 33 people. n

Send hot tips to lastdays@thestranger.com and follow me on Twitter @davidschmader.

Inhale the contents of a balloon at the S tranger.com/S log

FINAL DAYS! Closing February 16

NEWS

Should Taxpayers Pay Politicians to Run for Office?

City Officials Consider Ballot Measure to Publicly Fund Campaigns

BY CIENNA MADRID

Unlike most local politicians seeking office, Seattle City Council member Mike O’Brien didn’t announce his 2013 campaign for reelection at a large catered party packed with

wealthy donors and union representatives. Instead, he announced his reelection bid 22 times last spring, at small events held in living rooms, coffee shops, even after-hours work spaces. And with each announcement came an unusual ask: just $10.

“I won’t be accepting campaign contributions for amounts over $10 until I’ve raised $10,000 from 1,000 different people,” O’Brien explained at the time. It took him three months to reach his goal. While O’Brien’s

Public financing encourages more candidates to run for office.

$10 by 1,000 pledge may sound gimmicky, it could be the future of political fundraising in Seattle. The Seattle City Council is considering a system to publicly finance campaigns, a move that some argue could help balance the influence of money in local elections.

“It’s been a successful program [for us],” explained Los Angeles City Ethics Commission executive director Heather Holt to a modest crowd of political nerds assembled at Seattle University on January 31. “We’ve seen more candidates, it’s helped candidates raise issues and have a voice, and it allows the public to have a greater say in their election process.”

But, of course, there’s a downside. “You’re telling citizens that their taxpayer money will go to support candidates that they may not prefer, or to support ideologies that they may not support,” says George Allen, vice president of the Seattle Metropolitan Chamber of Commerce. Allen says his business organization won’t take a position on publicly financing campaigns “until there’s something to vote on.” However, this framing mirrors that of business groups that have killed similar

Paying More for a Drip

Local Coffee Chain Owner Adds Surcharge for Paid Sick Leave

BY ANNA MINARD

In a move reminiscent of anti-Obamacare restaurant owners, a local coffee chain posted signs last week at all its registers announcing a new “Sick Leave Surcharge” in response to the city’s new mandatory sick-leave ordinance. An extra fee of 1.5 percent would be tacked on to all orders, said the signs posted by Ali Ghambari, who owns seven Cherry Street

measures, most recently in Portland.

“That will be one of the challenges—convincing people that it will cost a little bit of money,” concedes O’Brien. “But it will make our democracy stronger for all people.”

The push for publicly financed election campaigns in Seattle officially began last month, when Council Members O’Brien, Sally Clark, and Nick Licata asked the Seattle Eth ics and Elections Commission (SEEC) to update a 2008 report detailing public campaign finance options for Seattle. (Seattle was ready to adopt a campaign finance reform measure that year, but shelved it during the economic crisis.)

The 2008 report identifies two viable models for Seattle financing candidate campaigns:

• A matching model: In this scenario, city council candidates would be asked to raise $10,000 in increments of $100 or less to qualify for $30,000 from the city. After that, the city would match donor amounts up to $250 on a 3:1 basis (if the candidate had a challenger).

• A lump-sum model: In this scenario, tested last year by O’Brien, candidates who collected $10 from 1,000 registered voters would qualify for $30,000 from the city. This would be followed by an additional $110,000 lump sum once a challenger entered the race, with another cash dump coming for those who make it through the primary. (In 2011, the US Supreme Court found that Arizona’s lumpsum model violated individuals’ right to raise private funds; Seattle’s model would need to

be tweaked to ensure its constitutionality.)

Why publicly finance campaigns? Some people point to Seattle’s 2011 election to illustrate the problem. During that election cycle, Seattle had fewer candidates running for office than any time since 1995, a drop in small contributions, a record high in the average

participating candidates should have plenty of funds to launch viable campaigns.

Critics of our current system also point to our election cycle. While Mayor Mike McGinn is now facing seven heavy-hitting challengers, not one of the four council members up for reelection is being challenged, and political consultants have privately admitted that they are unlikely to take on a city council candidate who lacked six-figure fundraising prospects. City council seats are a litmus test of a wellfunctioning governing body. These seats are often sought by neighborhood advocates and grassroots activists who have a vision for the city but not necessarily the big name, deep pockets, or stacked résumé that higher positions demand.

The experiences of Los Angeles and San Francisco suggest that public financing doesn’t diminish the inherent advantage that incumbents enjoy, but it does encourage more candidates to run for office, while promoting smaller and more local contributions. The speakers at the forum also noted that viable challengers make city elections more issue-driven, forcing incumbents to answer for unpopular decisions.

size of contributions, top donors contributing almost exclusively to incumbents—and all this on top of massive $100,000 incumbent war chests scaring off challengers. Despite their huge fundraising advantages, council members spent, on average, just $201,000 on their campaigns in 2011. By contrast, both 2008 public-financing models would cap contributions at $250,000, meaning

Coffee shops in and around Seattle.

“There were many ways [Ghambari] could have dealt with this,” said incensed customer Whitney Little, who sent a photo of the sign to The Stranger. “He could have upped prices slightly to compensate, for example.” But instead, says Little, “he chose to call himself out as a royal dickhead for life.”

Reached by phone, Ghambari insisted that he isn’t a royal dickhead for life. He was concerned that paying for sick leave may encourage employees to fake illness to collect benefits. “We never had sick leave before,” he explained, adding that offering the benefit to his staff of more than 45 employees will cost him up to $30,000 a year. “My employees know, hey, you’re gonna get 40 hours time off

for sick leave. Even if you are not sick, you’ll get that paid to you anyway,” Ghambari said.

“I don’t want my employees calling in sick when they’re not sick to get a day off.”

“I don’t want my employees calling in sick when they’re not sick.”

I asked him how the policy, which took effect last September, would cause employees to be dishonest, since sick leave can only be used for illness or preventative care. He didn’t have an answer. “It’s not about dishonesty,” he told me. “I feel pretty comfy with

But the programs aren’t without their downsides, most notably the dramatic increase in independent expenditures recorded in both cities (mostly by PACs). Independent expenditures increased in LA from $7,000 to more than $1 million in the first year following its public finance system.

Here in Seattle, we’ll have to wait until early March to hear the SEEC’s updated recommendations for how a public finance model would best work, and exactly what the cost would be. From there, the council will have to hash out the issue of how to foot the $3-million-plus annual price tag, most likely through a property tax levy or the city’s general fund. And, of course, convince voters that it’s worth the price.

“It will cost a little bit of money, but it’ll make our democracy stronger for everyone,” O’Brien says, adding that it would be “a small price to pay for more competitive races and broader diversity.” n

Comment on these stories at THESTRANGER.COM/NEWS

[this decision]. If some people don’t feel good about it, bring it on, we’ll talk about it.”

The signs called to mind people like Florida restaurant owner John Metz, who announced in November a 5 percent Obamacare surcharge on all tabs, so that customers could choose whether to “pay it and tip 15 or 20 percent, or… reduce the amount of tip they give to the server, who is the primary beneficiary of Obamacare,” as he told the Huffington Post in November. Metz had to reverse course after a fierce backlash and boycott threats.

So did Ghambari—sort of. After The Stranger broke the story last week on our blog, Slog, Ghambari pulled the signs down. He still charges an extra fee, he’s just not crowing about it at the register. n

ROBERT ULLMAN

18th Annual Cremation Sale!

SOURCES SAY

DOW CONSTANTINE

• Remember when backers of Chihuly Garden and Glass at Seattle Center promised to build a million-dollar playground to appease the angry masses who protested placing Chihuly’s for-profit vanity project on public land? Now that the glass museum has been open and raking in the dough for eight months, you might be wondering: Where is that playground ? Well, it turns out that the intended playground location was instead used to sell commemorative trinkets for the Seattle Center’s 50th anniversary celebration (sorry, kids!). Sources in city hall now say there’s no location and no hard deadline for building the playground.

• According to sources, in an attempt to undermine the teacher boycott of the controversial Measures of Academic Progress (MAP) exams, administrators at Garfield High School began removing students this week from the classes of teachers who’ve refused to proctor MAP exams and giving the exams themselves. Acknowledging the actions, superintendent Jose Banda said in a statement that he wants to measure “student progress in a consistent manner across all schools.”

The intended Chihuly playground location was used to sell trinkets— sorry, kids!

• In the wake of polls showing strong public support for tighter gun laws, state house Republicans have introduced the Firearms Freedom Act, a bill that would nullify federal gun laws, make enforcement of said laws by federal agents a felony punishable by up to five years in prison, and establish Washington as a “stand your ground” state. Because house Republicans are fucking nuts.

• No one has filed to run against the Seattle City Council members up for reelection this year: Sally Bagshaw, Richard Conlin, Nick Licata, and Mike O’Brien. Is it unusual to have a slate of four council incumbents and absolutely no challengers? Yes, yes it is, confirms the Seattle Ethics and Elections Commission. While the deadline to file for office isn’t until May 10, most candidates file in January or early February.

• On February 1, Initiative 522 became certified for the general election. If passed, the measure would require most foods “if produced using genetic engineering as defined, to be labeled as genetically engineered when offered for retail sale,” the state explains.

• Who thinks we shouldn’t slap on labels identifying food with genetically modified DNA? The food-processing lobby “This initiative, although well-meaning, hurts the small- and medium-sized food processors in our state,” said Northwest Food Processors Association president Dave Zepponi. The food processor lobby insists that if you want non-GMO food, you can avoid it “by buying organic.” n

They Say They’re

Not NIMBYs

Meet the Residents of South Lake

Union Fighting Taller Buildings

BY ANNA MINARD

I’m sitting in the cafeteria of the Mirabella, a 12-story retirement home in South Lake Union that occupies a full city block, with residents and neighbors who fear the area will change for the worse if the city rezones the neighborhood to allow skyscrapers. They’re trying to convince me that they’re not anti-density. “If that attitude was here, this building wouldn’t be here,” says neighborhood activist Lloyd Douglas, pointing out that the Mirabella is one of the tallest buildings in the area. Douglas is a member of the Lake Union Opportunity Alliance, a commu-

“People say, ‘You just want private views.’ That's a lie,” says one community coalition leader.

nity group fighting against city proposals for taller towers in the neighborhood but whose website dismisses the “NIMBY” label (short for the derisive term “not in my backyard”).

“People say, ‘You people just want private views.’ That’s a lie,” says John Pehrson, a Mirabella resident. He points out that both Douglas and Christine Lea of the Cascade Neighborhood Council, who is also fighting the rezoning proposal, both have views only of the freeway and thus no great view to lose.

Over the next few months, the Seattle City Council will consider new rules for construction in South Lake Union—a former light-industrial swath north of downtown that is now sprinkled with squat new office buildings—that would add 200 feet or more to some height limits, making the tallest buildings up to 40 stories tall. This would effectively extend the reach of downtown nearly a mile north of Denny Way, helping the city accommodate more residents, more businesses, and ultimately a larger tax base. But the organizations headed by Pehrson,

Douglas, and Lea have banded together to oppose this plan, forming the South Lake Union Community Coalition (SLUCC). They are concerned that a thicket of skyscrapers will erode the neighborhood’s “character” and erase its history.

Having observed the neighborhood’s rapid growth over the last decade, they say that they’re happy to see new and diverse development within the confines of current height limits. “I’ve been here five years,” Pehrson says. “In that time, four low-income housing projects have moved in. Nobody in the neighborhood complained. This isn’t a NIMBY neighborhood.”

Pehrson, a retired engineer, shows me slide after slide of a PowerPoint presentation explaining their specific concerns. For example, the proposal currently under consideration would allow three 24-story towers on Mercer Street. He argues they would cut off the neighborhood from the water, shade Lake Union Park, and loom over the shorter buildings. SLUCC recommends keeping the current zoning (now only 40 feet) or, as a com promise, shrinking the towers in scale. They say the city claims building heights would step down toward the water, but, Pehrson tells me, “I don’t know how you can say that with a straight face,” because these 24-story towers would be about a block from the shore of Lake Union.

But city council member Richard Conlin, who chairs the Planning, Land Use, and Sus tainability Committee, says this is “greatly exaggerated as an issue.” The tallest build ings in the neighborhood, at 400 feet, would be further south, closer to downtown and several blocks from the water, and “the land slopes down 100 feet” by the shore. Further, he says, the “widely spaced towers” protect sight lines. “It’s a very good compromise.”

As evidence that current zoning rules are working well, Pehrson points to Paul Allen’s Vulcan Real Estate development called Stack House, which he says is “a great example

(2/6)

Jennifer Koh: ‘Bach and Beyond Part II’ (2/7)

Bill Streever: Hot on the Trail of Heat (2/7)

Cierra Sisters Fundraiser: Marcus Harrison Green (2/8)

Saturday Family Concerts: A Family Mardi Gras with Whozyamama (2/9)

EMD: Dmitri Carter & Friends: French Baroque Tales in Music & Puppetry (2/10)

Seattle Opera & Seattle Youth Symphony Orchestra: ‘Heron and The Salmon Girl’ (2/10)

SAF: The Way to a Community’s Heart is through its Stomach (2/12)

Anthony Greenwald: ‘Blindspot: Hidden Biases of Good People’ (2/13)

EarthFix: Exploring the Powder River Coal-Train Proposals (2/13)

of low-rise, high-density residential development” that fits about 300 apartments on three-quarters of a block, includes open space, and preserves a historic smokestack. “We don’t demonize Vulcan,” he says. “They have done and are doing some great work.”

For Vulcan’s part, spokeswoman Lori Mason Curran explains that when people imagine the new buildings, they “picture the Mirabella but taller,” but that’s not what they’ll look like. “We don’t have any buildings in Seattle right now that actually look like” what the new zoning will allow in South Lake Union—skinny towers meant to preserve sight lines. “You have to have so much open space and the floor plans have to be smaller.”

Curran and Conlin agree that new development may shade Lake Union Park on the darker days of the year. Curran says people should “look at the park when there’s the most sun” instead of focusing on winter days; Conlin says he’s concerned by the shadow studies.

Pehrson, Douglas, and Lea say they will keep attending city council meetings, making presentations to lawmakers and developers, and reaching out to the media. I asked Lea if she thinks they can really get a seat at the table in this discussion. “I think we are sitting at the table,” she tells me brightly. “We’re going to be living with this for a very long time. And it’s really important to get it right.” n

We’re Number One at Taxing the Poor

Study Finds Washington State Maintains Nation’s Most Regressive Tax System

BY GOLDY

Washington State & Local Taxes

Percent of family income paid in taxes (for non-elderly taxpayers)

INCOME BRACKET

Washington State may be progressive when it comes to gay marriage, pot, and electing Democratic governors, but when it comes to our tax system, not so much. According to a new report from a DC-based think tank, Washington continues to boast the most regressive state and local tax system in the nation—by far.

According to the latest data from the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy (ITEP), the poorest 20 percent of Washington households (those earning less than $20,000 a year) pay a crippling 16.9 percent of their income in state and local taxes, while the top 1 percent (those earning more than $430,000 a year) pay only 2.8 percent. That compares to a national average of 11.1 percent and 5.6 percent respectively.

Hooray for the job creators! Fuck the poors!

The culprit? We don’t have an income tax and rely heavily on sales taxes.

“No income tax states like Washington, Texas, and Florida do, in fact, have average to low taxes overall,” the report concludes. But “these states’ disproportionate reliance on sales and excise taxes make their taxes among the highest in the entire nation on low-income families.”

Yeah, any time you find your state lumped together with Texas and Florida in anything but grapefruit production, it usually isn’t very good news.

Washington relies on sales and excise taxes for more than 61 percent of its state and local revenue, compared to a national average of just 34 percent. And the lower your income, the more of it you spend on taxable goods and services (thereby creating a higher effective rate). The result is a tax system in which Washington’s poorest families pay six times

If a politician proposed this system, you’d think they were crazy.

(and our middle class, four times) the effective rate of that paid by our state’s wealthiest families. So the answer to the constant debate over whether our taxes are too high is: It depends on who you are. If you earn more than $400,000 a year, you live in one of the lowest taxed states in the nation, but if you earn less than $20,000 a year, you live in the highest.

To put it another way, suppose a politician were to propose a state income tax in which the poorest 20 percent of households paid a 16.9 percent rate, the middle 60 percent a 10.5 percent rate, and the wealthiest 1 percent a tiny 2.8 percent rate. You’d think they were fucking crazy, right?

Well, that’s pretty much the effect of the tax system we have right now. n

We look forward to playing an important part in your life and your future.

Let’s make history together. We offer on-site event specialists, comfortable rooms and tasteful culinary experiences.

FThe Twilight of Yesler Terrace

ive years before Joe Wood died on Mount Rainier, I took him for a walk around yesler terrace, seattle’s oldest housing project. It was 1994, and Wood, a 28-year-old black American editor and critic, was working on a story about seattle for a new magazine founded by Quincy Jones called Vibe. Coming from New york City, Wood wanted to see if seattle had anything like the ghettos back east. because I had spent some years of my childhood in Washington, DC, I knew what he was expecting to see when, shortly after dusk, I took him down to the 206’s ghetto: broken glass everywhere, people pissing on the stairs, junkies with baseball bats, dealers occupying every available shadow, abandoned buildings, crumbling buildings, and dark buildings. What Wood saw instead were unremarkable two-story town houses with no graffiti on their walls, fenced backyards, gardens in those yards, and even flowers in some of those gardens. the flowers boggled him to no end. “People growing flowers in the ghetto? If people got time to do that, then this is not a ghetto.”

the illusion would be shattered and reality restored by a barrage of bullets fired from the windows of a passing gang-packed automobile. but nothing of the sort happened. It was not an illusion. this was the projects. this was for real. but how was it even possible? Wood kept asking. how could seattle, a city of more than half a million people, many of whom were black and poor, not have a slum? Could it be that the white people here were nicer, more generous, less racist? or had the message from the rest of white America never reached them: White people are supposed to treat people of color badly? I could not offer Wood a sat-

If a rapper ever boasted about coming straight out of the tough streets of the Yesler Terrace projects, he might get some respect in other cities, but he’d get only laughter and derision from those in the know.

Wood had never seen a housing project that looked tolerable, one that functioned like a normal neighborhood. In fact, the absence of danger and the calmness of the streets seemed to upset him; it was as if someone was playing a trick on him. he kept looking this way and that, hoping

isfactory answer—the history of race relations in this city is simple in some ways and complicated in others. but one thing was for sure: yesler terrace was one of the few housing projects in the United states that came close to fulfilling its initial utopian promise. the people who dreamed it up in the late 1930s were white and progressive. these men and women and the organization they established, the seattle housing Authority (shA), not only believed in an idea (affordable housing should be

The End of the Ghetto That Wasn’t

by Charles Mudede

available to all citizens) that was seen by many as communistic (and in a sense it was), their proposal that yesler terrace be the first racially integrated housing project in the country was downright un-American. but their utopian dream of blacks and whites living in harmony was eventually funded by New Deal dollars, designed by a team of architects that included Victor steinbrueck, and built in stages during World War II (1941 to 1943) on a 43-acre area that was once, according to the federal government, seattle’s worst slum—it had no less than 18 houses of prostitution.

that’s one side of the story, but there’s another far less rosy side that receives little to no attention in the press. shA did not raze a slum; it displaced a thriving Japanese American community. trevor Griffey makes this point in his excellent essay “Preserving yesler terrace”:

the existence of a prosperous Japanese community on the future site of yesler terrace contradicted shA descriptions of the neighborhood as a total slum filled only with prostitution and poverty… of the 359 families living in the south end of First hill, 127 were Japanese. yesler terrace’s construction not only displaced these families, it also displaced a number of significant Japanese institutions: three churches, four grocery stores, and four hotels. Japanese internment soon overshadowed this story…

Indeed, the racist displacement of a whole community cleared the ground for seattle’s racial utopia. (shA also

Photos

Pirate’s Plunder

offered housing only to married American citizens, and it gave preference to Americans in the defense industry.)

These days, many Yesler Terrace residents—around 1,200 total—speak English as a second language and come from Southeast Asia and East Africa. According to Real Change, nearly 40 percent of the residents are Asian American, 38 percent black African and black American, 11 percent white American, and 3 percent Native American. “Immigrants to the US represent a significant population in Yesler Terrace,” states SHA in a Yesler Terrace Background Report from 2008. “Around 30% of residents were eligible non‐US citizens in 2008, which is more than three times the proportion of non‐citizens in Seattle’s total population… African Americans/Africans and Asian Americans/ Asians usually comprise more than 80% of the population in Yesler Terrace during any given year.” In short, Yesler Terrace has become a global village of poor and workingclass families who have developed a strong sense of community.

have a ghetto, I met with Zia Mohajerjasbi to discuss his film project, Hagereseb, about Yesler Terrace, the oldest housing project in the city.

The winter day was mostly sunny, and Mohajerjasbi wore a tight-fitting black peacoat and held a paper cup of steaming coffee. Overhead, we heard the beat of a helicopter approaching the helipad on the hospital. And up and down the street, massive machines and meaty men were making a path for the First Hill Streetcar.

Why did Seattle’s most ambitious housing project not suffer the fate of the ones in Chicago, New York City, and St. Louis? It might have had something to do with the city’s youth—Seattle did not have the deep history of racial tension and violence of the older cities. Or something to do with the fact that Seattle’s black population was never huge, and so never posed a real or imagined threat to white confidence—and as a consequence, the divide between the two groups was not entirely unbridgeable. Or maybe it was the architecture, which was modeled on human-scale worker homes in Sweden and not the modernist towers that were seen by many as inhuman, cold, and imposing. Whatever the answer might be—and that answer is probably some accident of history—Yesler Terrace never imploded into an underworld of crime and decay.

If a rapper ever boasted about coming straight out of the tough streets of the Yesler Terrace projects, he might get some respect in other cities, but he’d get only laughter and derision from those in the know, those in the 206. Yesler Terrace is no Cabrini-Green.

While walking with Joe Wood down Yesler Way that night in 1994, we came upon a vision that caught us completely by surprise. This vision was all the more impressive because it was framed by the only lit window in the unit. We were on the sidewalk. There was no traffic on the street. The projects were quiet. The smell of various foods from around the world filled the air. The towers of downtown rose just behind the massif of the hospital. The lights of one tower went out floor by floor. The sky was clear, the stars bright, the moon almost full—and framed in the ground-floor window in front of us, we saw a black man working on a sculpture. He did not see us or sense us. All of his attention was focused on the transference of the idea in his head to the stone, focused on transforming something hard into something angelic. He chipped and chipped and chipped. Wood could only say “Wow.” He thought he had seen everything—these projects had flowers!—but this vision was from another dimension: Here, in the heart of the projects, a black man was not selling drugs, not drowning his sorrows in booze, not dealing with oppressive cops, but spending the night making a sculpture.

Making a Movie

Thirteen years after Wood disappeared on Mount Rainier (he went to the volcano to look at birds and never came back), and 17 years after he declared in Vibe that Seattle did not have a black community because it didn’t

After the tracks for the streetcar are completed, the next big thing to happen around here will be phase one of a $300 million redevelopment of Yesler Terrace, organized by the same people who transformed South Lake Union into a paradise for market-oriented bioscience and e-commerce, Vulcan. Phase one will demolish the 100 units that face the Northshore Hawaiian BBQ restaurant and drive-in espresso trailer that currently occupy the ruins of a gas station, and it will also create a hill climb between Little Saigon and Yesler Terrace. Phase two will demolish 174 more units and establish a park that will have a view of the volcano that is Mount Rainier. The next phases will see the construction of 12 towers—one for a hotel, two for office space, and the rest for apartments, 3,000 in all, to be sold at market rates. In this new Hong Kong–like density, the seven-story buildings allocated for the poor will be in the shadow of these magnificent towers.

Our plan that sunny but cold day was for Mohajerjasbi to show me the course for the opening scene from Hagereseb—a movie that he has been working on since 2009, the year he won the Stranger Genius Award for film. (He was selected based on a series of music videos he made for Blue Scholars and other local hiphop artists—I still regard his video for Macklemore’s “The Town” as one of city’s highest cinematic achievements.) “I don’t want this film to be about the politics,” he said to me as we crossed the street and walked up Broadway. “I know all about the new development, and I agree it’s going to ruin a great neighborhood. You know, the people here are from all over the world, they speak lots of different languages and live pretty well together. I have visited several homes, and every time I’m struck by how well people get along. Everyone knows everyone. But I don’t want my film to be about the destruction of all that. I want it to be about childhood.”

As we crossed the street, we passed a tree decorated with little paper orbs of different colors (bright red, bright orange, bright yellow). We also passed a small group of East African women wearing long billowing dresses and hijabs. Just before we reached the Japanese Baptist Church, he stopped and showed me the point at which the film would begin.

“You know, I wish I could film in the winter, because the light is very slanted and the sun low… it would be so beautiful. And that is what I want to capture—the beauty and pureness of childhood. There won’t be many words or dialogue, but faces, colors, textures,” Mohajerjasbi said as we walked through the maze of units, fences, playgrounds, and big trees, picturing the flowing images of a Steadicam. “The movie’s story is based on someone who lived here as a child, Futsum Tsegai, and that’s really what this place is about: children.”

As we turned this way and that—Yesler Terrace is compact—I began to notice three types of yards: ones that contained nothing but grass, ones that contained gardens of vegetables, and ones packed with heavily used toys. Yesler Terrace is a city of children. They are everywhere. They are playing on swings, climbing trees, walking to and from

the community center, coming in and out of units, running after each other, yelling at each other, laughing at each other. According to the SHA report, nearly 40 percent of the residents in Yesler Terrace are children— more than double the percentage for the city as a whole, 16 percent.

The way the middle class raises children is not the same as the way the poor and working class do. If you go to any neighborhood in North Seattle, what you will find in the streets is just cars. This is not the case in neighborhoods in South Seattle that have not been gentrified. Here, streets are packed with kids. They ride their bicycles, jump rope, throw balls on the streets, which is why fast drivers in the hood are a nightmare— they think streets are just for their cars. In poor neighborhoods, the raising of children has to be shared with the public; it can’t be the private and formal affair that it is for the middle classes. Those who move into Vulcan’s market-rate apartments will not need the streets or neighbors to help raise their children.

The Last Art of Yesler Terrace

January 2013 saw two art exhibits in Seattle about the twilight of Yesler Terrace. One was at 4Culture and the other at the Frye Art Museum. The former was a part of the Yesler Terrace Summer Youth Media Program; the latter was a part of the exhibition Moment Magnitude. The former was about images, the latter about sounds. Both involved the primary citizens of Yesler Terrace: young people. And both were like the movie that Mohajerjasbi is developing, in that they were not directly political but about moments, moods, things that are now caught in a vanishing world. These art projects were in a sense ghostly, as they were already about the past. The future is not in these color ink-jet prints (the hobbyhorses in the backyard), the movie tests (black boys running in the winter light), and sound installation (a woman maintaining her little African garden), but instead in the spectacular redevelopment visualization animation on the SHA website.

remained in doubt if I hadn’t entered Parrish’s one-bedroom apartment, which was made heavy and hard by the smell of stones and metal tools. He lives on the ground floor, and his living room had a large table that supported several bold white, pink, gold, and rust colored busts. I sat on the couch. He sat on a chair. I wore a raincoat. He had gray hair and wore a white sweater. The wall in front of me was covered with drawings and the floor by a black tarp. A small kitchen was behind him. He always thought, silent for a moment, before giving an answer. “I moved in 1986 and have lived here ever since,” he explained. Parrish is not loquacious and states things very plainly. “Yeah, sad about tearing it down, I’m sorry about that. But things can’t stay the same forever. Things change. I have to find a new livable place to do my artwork.”

Produced by Parsons Brinckerhoff, a massive Manhattan-based engineering firm, the video opens high above the bay and, like some great bird, sweeps swiftly over cargo ships, the cranes of Harbor Island, the stadiums, Vulcan’s headquarters, slows when approaching the streets and slim towers of the new utopia, and stops once across the street from the community center and the park with a view of the volcano. Altogether, the video shows only one playground, lots of adults on the sidewalks, and four or so ghosts of Yesler Terrace—women in long dresses and hijabs.

“I often wonder when the discourse of decay and disrepair began at SHA,” Tad Hirsch said to me as we listened to the sounds rising out of the little boxes of the installation Intangible Effects (No. 1) he organized for Moment Magnitude. Hirsch, an assistant professor at University of Washington’s School of Art, recently moved to Seattle from Portland, and so is new to the local political and community issues. “There had to be a time when SHA and city council members began talking about

Parrish also has a studio at the James and Janie Washington Foundation and has made something of a name for himself in the city with exhibits at a number of galleries. “I was always going to make art, but Yesler Terrace really helped me out,” he explained. Though faced with leaving, in a year, a community that has supported him as an artist for a quarter of a century, Parrish didn’t sound bitter. “My family has got a piece of land back home in Virginia. If everything falls apart here, I’ll know where to go.”

Behind me was a curtainless window that faced a fenced yard and the thickening fog. Looking out of this window was a bust that had a prominent nose. It was not like the one he was working on when Wood and I saw him in the window 19 years ago, but it seemed stern and cold. Was it representing the current mood of the residents of Yesler Terrace? Face the facts, face the uncertain future with the understanding that this is how it has always been and always will be? The rich always get their way and the poor don’t? I asked Parrish if the bust was of somebody, and he answered, “Yes, it’s Lawrence Welk.” n

Charles Parish Sculpts busts like this one in his Yesler Terrace apartment.

theSTRANGER SUGGESTS

‘Sweet Smell of Success’

film Between the annual festivals at SAM and SIFF, Seattle is regularly slathered in film noir—but that hasn’t kept folks from packing into Night & Day, the new series hosted by young noir enthusiast Brandon Ryan at Central Cinema. Tonight’s film is an absolute killer: 1957’s Sweet Smell of Success, in which an amoral press agent (Tony Curtis) grovels exquisitely before the unchecked evil of a Manhattan gossip columnist (Burt Lancaster). Bodies are bartered, lives are ruined, and you’ll feel like you need a shower afterward. It’s brilliant. (Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave, central-cinema. com, 7 and 9:30 pm, $6 adv/$8 DOS) DAV i D SCH m ADER

Strong female Leads book S /mu S i C

JK Pop!

Here’s the reason you probably already want to go to the latest Hugo Literary Series event: Katie Kate is performing new songs tonight It’s been too long since her debut album, 2011’s Flatland. But you’ll also come away buzzing about local cartoonist Kelly Froh and what she manages to do with a few lines on paper. And you’ll be embarrassed that you’d never before seen novelist/poet/essayist

Patricia Smith and poet/KUOW regular Arlene Kim. All four performers will be introducing new work, and you will find some new favorites to love. (Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, hugohouse.org, 7:30 pm, $25) PA ul C o NS t AN t

Lunar New Year festival

SoMuchMoreat strangersuggests.com

On the first Thursday of every month, pigtailed fans of Japanese and Korean pop music pack the dance floor at Barboza to bounce until their calves explode. The scene is surreal: Glow sticks flash and people sweat the stickers from their cheeks, as DJ Bishie (whose name means “a young man whose beauty and sex appeal transcend gender or sexual orientation”) and DJ Hojo (yep, FFVII) spin their sets and JK music videos play on screens before the crowd. As if this night couldn’t get any weirdly better, tonight stars the K-pop lip-synching of Seattle drag-queen-of-queens Atasha Manila! (Barboza, 925 E Pike St, thebarboza.com, 9 pm, $3, 21+) C i ENNA m ADR i D

OM mu S i C

Bay Area trio OM have gradually slithered out of the doom-metal ghetto and into the mystical-psychedelia ghetto, while maintaining their polysyllabic, theosophical lyrical obsessions. Nobody can match bassist/vocalist Al Cisneros’s vocabulary and methodical, stentorian delivery. The former member of stoner-metal gods Sleep is a weed-tokin’ guru, delineating arcane rituals and scripture over sinuous, droning rock that bows eastward with gravity and grace. The vibratory beneficence OM bring cleanses the spirit; the music is high and mighty, with no headbanging necessary. (Highline, 210 Broadway E, highlineseattle.com, 8 pm, $12, 21+) DAVE SEGA l

The festivities kick off with lion and dragon dances accompanied by resounding drumming and long strings of firecrackers (to scare off evil). The rest of the day features activities and exhibitions of taiko drumming, breakdancing by Massive Monkees, martial arts, and more. Food is an important part of the Lunar New Year celebration, and restaurants all over the International District will offer $2 tastes from Japan, China, Cambodia, Thailand, and Vietnam. Good fortune and happiness for all in the Year of the Snake! (Hing Hay Park, 423 Maynard Ave S, cidbia.org, 11 am–4 pm, free) G illi AN ANDERS o N

Pike Chocofest

booz E / CH o C ol At E Pike Chocofest may sound like the worst porn name ever, but it’s actually a beloved pre–Valentine’s Day tradition in which Pike Brewing Company presents a vast array of chocolate and alcohol designed to be consumed together. Never underestimate the power of the choco-booze combo: At a recent dinner party, I saw the double whammy of dark chocolate fondue and good red wine reduce the least Cathy Guisewite–like of women to a misty-eyed, orgasm-approximating mess. (Pike Brewing Company, 1415 First Ave, 622-6044, 5–8 pm, $45, 21+) DAV i D SCH m ADER

David Shields

I love the cover of David Shields’s new book (a man about to jump off a big building in a big city), I love its title, How Literature Saved My Life, I love the way the thinking in the book meanders from subject to subject, idea to idea, insight to insight. Lastly, I love the way Shields sculpts his sentences: no waste, no mistakes, no excitement, no surprises, no extremes, and seemingly no exertion. This UW professor never lets his deepest ideas fall below the cool, steady surface of his prose. (University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400, 7 pm, free) CHAR l ES mu DEDE

Deborah Aschheim

AR t A few years ago, Seattle artist Claire Cowie made a chandelier of two-sided paintings: Each painting portrayed two versions of someone who had died, one on each side, both different because both were painted from memory. Deborah Aschheim has done something similar with architecture, creating a whole ghost city of memory inside Suyama Space. Buildings hang on strings from the ceiling and sprout from the walls, and they look vaguely familiar in their details—angles and sweeps and thrusts and curves—but none of them quite adds up to a replica of a real building in the world. (Suyama Space, 2324 Second Ave, suyamaspace.org, 9 am–5 pm, free) JEN GRAVES

fRi feb 8

Patricia Smith

Atasha Manila

NICOLAI FECHIN CHAMBER MUSIC

Thirty six works commissioned by

A Talk by Susan Jenkins, Curator for English Heritage

Friday, February 15, 7–8 pm

Dr. Susan Jenkins, Senior Curator for English Heritage and curator of the exhibition Rembrandt, Van Dyck, Gainsborough: The Treasures of Kenwood House, London at Seattle Art Museum, speaks on the neoclassical Kenwood House in London and the exhibition of internationally important Old Master paintings now on view in Seattle for the first time.

Sponsored by KCTS Channel 9

Tickets may be purchased online, by phone (206.654.3210) or at the Ticketing Desk at any of SAM’s three sites. SAM members: $5

Image: Kenwood House, ©English Heritage Photo Library.

ARTS Reviews & Previews

Ghost Buildings

Art in the Fourth Dimension

By Jen Graves

There is a city of misremembered buildings inside Suyama Space. The buildings are familiar, but wrong. They stand on the floor, dangle on platforms from the ceiling, and sprout from the wall, and they’re made of translucent white plastic, the corrugated stuff used for mail delivery tubs and campaign signs. The artist, Deborah Aschheim, cut, sculpted, and lit the buildings from memory. If she went to sleep and dreamed a city made of all the cities she’d ever been in, this would be it. It’s the set of an utterly personal movie, based on a set of collectively shared parts.

Parts of this set are from Seattle. Aschheim got her master of fine arts here at the University of Washington in 1990, and climbing up like white flowers from the gallery’s dark wood floor are multiple miniatures of the Pacific Science Center’s spindly arches. Some are just stalks without the webs on top, like single legs torn from a spider and trying to walk on their own. Mushroomlike towers are mash-ups of the curves of the Space Needle and swoops from other places. High-rises in the gallery take after buildings in Los Angeles, Berlin, and who knows where else. Two repeating sources are from Chicago, by the architect Bertrand Goldberg: the corncob concrete towers called Marina City (erected 1964), which were intended to start reversing white flight, and the 1975 brutalist concrete spaceship of the Prentice Women’s Hospital, a cloverleaf-shaped tower with oval windows, designed to accommodate fathers in birthing rooms. The Prentice is currently under imminent threat of demolition, but it has a gleaming white West Coast double (larger, but similar) that’s

video of movie clips of timed action corresponding directly to real time. Aschheim communicates the dislocating but completely familiar experience of mental time travel, of skipping from time to time in one’s mind, like when you drive down the street of a city that has changed so much in front of your eyes that you can see, flashing in front of you, all of its pasts, in addition to what’s actually there.

not going anywhere: St. Joseph’s Hospital, which stands high atop Tacoma, and which Goldberg worked on concurrently with the Prentice. The concrete of the Prentice was left unfinished; the concrete of St. Joe’s was finished with glossy white fiberglass. The two are like nodes lit up from within one brain.

Aschheim has said that her intention is always to make something that is invisible visible. For a few years, she created walkthrough sculptures that demonstrated neurological patterns, maps of brain activity in which each node was a center of content: a video, say, or a photograph or light. One of her series appeared in six iterations with each installation smarter than the last, containing more information stored with greater sophistication determined by the development of publicly available technology and what Aschheim learned along the way. For another project, she created a series of drawings by collaborating with people losing their memories in a nursing home.

The last time Aschheim had a solo show in Seattle was 13 years ago, also at Suyama Space, and the map of her new installation echoes her memory of her old installation, another city upon a city. Every city is both a visible surface and a buildup of lost layers, and artists are often the agents revealing the multiple exposures of real-life scenes. Ghost buildings are the heart of art worlds. If you follow art in Seattle, close your eyes and picture the last 13 years: Howard House, the Bridge Motel, Lawrimore Project, the 619 building, Consolidated Works—all vacated. There were temporary inhabitations, too, like Implied Violence down in a warehouse that’s now Amazon, or when Annie Han and Daniel Mihalyo rebuilt the abandoned upscale retail environment at Rainier Tower using materials from nearby liquidation sales just after the 2008 crash. The shadows of financial ruin grew longer when you considered that Rainier Tower’s architect, Minoru Yamasaki, was creator of the World Trade Center that fell on September 11, as well as Pacific Science Center’s ghostly arches—a little trigger, and a waterfall of associations tumbles. This tumble is why Storefronts Seattle is so compelling: By placing artists in storefronts in historic neighborhoods that have no contemporary tenants, time becomes like an accordion, playable and collapsible.

Aschheim achieves her effects by very finely crafted means. White corrugated plastic—a material used for the conveyance of messages, whether snail mail or slogans— has never looked so good. Lit dramatically, the arches and walls and doorways and urban canyons between these model buildings can range in color from almost purple to nearly gold, snow white to noir. People in the gallery look like giants among the buildings, or amateur architects at play, dreaming of what might come and of what has gone before. n

• It was revealed this week that André Cassagnes, inventor of the Etch A Sketch which first hit the market in 1960, has died at age 86. Artists, warm up your dial fingers and let’s see some tributes.

• In Testament—which ran last weekend at On the Boards—German theater troupe She She Pop deconstructed King Lear with the help of their septuagenarian fathers, three of whom sing, dance, give speeches, and remain onstage for the duration of the show. The combination of multimedia Shakespeare riffing and actual elderly bodies doing evocative things was a knockout, with the openingnight audience calling the cast back for two standing-O curtain calls. “The house lights came up, people started putting on their coats and shuffling to the aisles, and then, after about 20 seconds, the crowd spontaneously and unanimously decided they weren’t done clapping and called the company back out again for one more ovation,” reported one attendee. “It was nuts, and beautiful, and I’d never seen it before.”

• Speaking of that rarest of Seattle experiences—the genuine, rather than dutiful, standing ovation—there was another one this week. It happened at the Seattle Symphony’s historic first-ever performance of Olivier Messiaen’s inordinately exuberant, sobbing, cosmic, tangled 1949 symphony Turangalila. This was the kind of standing ovation where everybody’s standing before they’ve even had a chance to notice they’ve done it, when the whole theater jumps up as if animated by a magical force, and then everyone refuses to stop clapping even though our hands hurt and it’s the third curtain call already. It was good. And weird

White corrugated plastic has never looked so good.

review Deborah Aschheim: Threshold Suyama Space Through April 12 review Images of Labor and Social Justice: The Art of Richard V. Correll UW Allen Library Through April 19

art

At the same time, members of her family were developing dementia and aphasia, the loss of the ability to find the right words. After reading that some neurologists believe there are separate pathways for storing language and sound, Aschheim commissioned musicians to write songs about her favorite words that she could memorize—a way to back up her mind’s hard drive in the face of fearing a fate like her aphasic aunt’s, a woman who had been an accomplished editor. Meanwhile, Aschheim has also been making highly realistic and touching ink-on-Dura-Lar drawings that blur time periods. In their nostalgia for modernist futurism—think Space Needle, the Theme Building at LAX, the Unisphere and Tent of Tomorrow at Flushing Meadows Corona Park in New York—these drawings have something in common with the works of an artist like Patte Loper. But Aschheim’s drawings are more personal, with titles like Chandler No. 2 (Mom in Front of Buildings You Can’t See Anymore, Los Angeles 1968) and Tent of Tomorrow (We Rode the Subway All the Way to Flushing Corona Meadows). They layer time on top of itself, doing the opposite of a work like The Clock, Christian Marclay’s 24-hour

The Protest Artist

Richard Correll Was Endearing, but His Prints Are Fierce

By Jen Graves

Far from the sliding glass doors and blinking computers and information desks, down in the basement of Allen Library at the University of Washington, there’s a stark exhibition of black-and-white prints on paper: a mother so gaunt that she looks like a robot, with two children burying their faces in her ungiving chest (Hunger, 1937). A line of striking farm workers carrying placards across the horizon, with rows of crops rising up to join them (Vineyard March, 1970). A night scene: paddy wagon parked outside the house, three officers with batons, one holding back the wife, one pushing the husband into the truck, the third in the shadows, his baton lifted, about to crack down on an unseen someone on the ground

• Roméo et Juliette at Pacific Northwest Ballet was less planet-stopping at its opening last Friday, but Romeo James Moore was stellar. And the performance ended with an announcement about Moore from artistic director Peter Boal: He’s been promoted to principal dancer. He’s been a member of the company since 2004.

• Last Tuesday, Hugo House executive director Tree Swenson held a meeting with volunteers from the Zine Archive and Publishing Project (ZAPP) to discuss the possibility of moving ZAPP out from under the House’s umbrella. No deadline for the shift was given, and there are plans to have a public hearing to discuss possibilities for the library’s future. Any arts organizations interested in partnering with ZAPP should contact Hugo House.

• The winter Movable Type Mixer at Vermillion, held last Thursday, was a great success. The simple Movable Type formula—bring the book you’re reading, talk about your book with total strangers over drinks—appeals to newcomers who complain about “the Seattle freeze” and to book-minded people stuck in semiliterate office jobs. Books spotted include: Dewey: The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched the World, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Noam Chomsky’s Occupy, and Kristin Kimball’s The Dirty Life. The next Movable Type will be in April; keep an eye on The Stranger’s readings calendar for details. n

buildingS Aschheim cut, sculpted, and lit them from memory.

(Raid, 1956). Each image is a powerful and beautifully designed print informed by the expressionism, abstraction, and muralism of early-20th-century worldwide art. The artist is Richard V. Correll, a scarcely known Works Progress Administration artist in Seattle in the 1930s. In his time, he was recognized as a master printmaker. He also protested on behalf of every good cause of the 20th century.

The Allen Library exhibition contains black-and-white linoleum cuts, etchings, and woodblock prints recently donated to the Labor Archives of Washington State. Correll, we’re told, was as gentle as his art was fierce, and there’s one infinitely endearing photograph of him in old age, holding a protest sign he created (that’s also on display) that depicts Ronald Reagan posed as Uncle Sam: “I want your Social Security dollars for U.S. military.”

Correll was a founding member of the Washington Artists’ Union, he marched with Cesar Chavez and the United Farm Workers from Delano to Sacramento, and he spent the bulk of his life in New York and California, where he died.

But he left a mark on Seattle. His murals of Paul Bunyan clearing trees to create Tacoma and taming Puget Sound remain at a high school in Bremerton. While working in the federal WPA program, he also contributed weekly cartoons to the Communist Party paper Voice of Action, and in 1936 he illustrated the incredible Northwest Labor Calendar. Its rich pages are a highlight of the exhibition. On one page, he brought to contemplative life Eugene Debs’s call for “a thinker in overalls.” The calendar narrates a fascinating local labor history timeline: “December 16, 1918: Seattle longshoremen voted to refuse to load munitions intended for use against the U.S.S.R.… November 19, 1919: Printers at the Seattle Post-Intelligencer struck to force the removal from that paper of a hysterical anti-labor advertisement…” What a distant world. n

books

Scientology Exposed

The Exhaustively Researched Tell-All

the

World’s Been Waiting For b y Paul Constant

The world has been waiting such a long time—decades!—for something like this book, and now that it’s finally arrived,

review

Going Clear

I’m pleased to report that it’s just as good as we could’ve hoped. Lawrence Wright’s Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, & the Prison of Belief is a great journalistic achievement— a comprehensive history of L. Ron Hubbard and his Church of Scientology, from its inception in the late 1940s to today, constructed with what appears to be airtight reportage. That “airtight reportage” bit is important because, as the book details, the Church of Scientology has sued people who have dared to write about it. But the book incorporates pieces of Wright’s New Yorker profile of screenwriter and director Paul Haggis, an outspoken former Scientologist, and that story remains unchallenged by the church’s attorneys to this day. (The meeting between the church’s legal and PR representatives, Wright, and a ragtag collection of the New Yorker’s editors and fact-checkers is the book’s climactic scene; that there have been no repercussions for Wright thus far make the scene, thankfully, a kind of anticlimax.)

For nearly four hundred pages, Wright grabs hold of the church’s most sacred beliefs and cheerfully dismantles them, beginning with the story of its founder, sci-fi author L. Ron Hubbard. From what I can tell, Scientology considers Hubbard to be the greatest man who ever lived, a cross between Buddha, Jesus, and Muhammad, with some Indiana Jones and Captain America slathered on top, but Wright paints a much darker portrait. The Hubbard we’re introduced to—who comes across as an egomaniacal compulsive liar, a man who beat one wife and abandoned a child he had with another woman—is pretty much the height of heresy for the church. Wright notes in the acknowledgments that it’s been decades since any author has attempted a Hubbard biography, because former attempts have been discredited or suppressed by the church’s lawyers.

With the heart of the Scientology story turned inside out, Wright then lays the whole church bare. He loosely outlines the outlandish beliefs of the church, which slowly become revealed to inductees as they contribute more money and climb the ladder of selfimprovement, as dictated by half-assed therapy sessions performed on the church’s pseudoscientific “E-Meters.” (If I had one wish for the book, it’s that Wright would spend more time explaining the full science-fiction story of the church, with its “tyrannical overlord named Xenu” and its central myth, which begins “seventy-five million years

in the

by Lawrence Wright (Alfred A. Knopf, $28.95)

‘vineyard march’ by richard v. correll He was a master printmaker.

Galactic Confederacy, which was composed of seventy-six planets and twenty-six stars.”)

But the Church of Scientology is obviously more interested in terrestrial stars. Wright explains the great lengths to which the church has gone to keep their most visible member, Tom Cruise, happy. Those close ties between the church and Cruise can’t help but alter your perception of the movie star. I can’t think of Cruise now without also picturing the terrible crimes for which Wright blames the church—blackmail, human rights violations like kidnapping people who tried to escape the church, and forcing people into inhumane work conditions that sound more like slavery than anything else. These are serious allegations, and certain precautions must be taken. Thus, the narrative is spiked throughout with short footnotes inserted for the sake of legal protection: “Cruise’s attorney says that no Scientology executives set him up with girlfriends,” “The church characterizes this as an attempt at extortion,” and “The church denies that Miscavige has ever abused members of the church.”

Which brings us to the church’s second (and present) leader, David Miscavige. Miscavige is the kind of blessing that is granted only once in a journalist’s life—a stereotypical villain, a perfectly unbelievable figure in the flesh. (Hell, even his last name sounds like something terrible that happens to you by accident.) The Miscavige portrayed in Going Clear is an out-and-out monster. He physically abuses his subordinates, he makes sure that anyone who opposes him—including his wife—gets sent away to de facto prison camps, and the church’s forced-work laborers, who earn pennies a day, are expected to buy extravagant birthday gifts for him. You won’t find a more hate-worthy villain in a book this year. n

books

Dear Diarists

Heroines Sees a Bright Future for the Forgotten Literary Woman

by Paul Constant

Kate Zambreno’s head is haunted in equal measure by ghosts of men and ghosts of women. The men are the same ghosts who haunt most ambitious young writers: Fitzgerald, Bowles, Eliot—the canon, the white guys who lord above us all from their unimpeachable places in history. The women are the wives and writers who lived in the shadows of those men, women who were in many ways sacrificed by history in order to make the canon burn brighter. Those ghosts, the men and women in Zambreno’s head, are continually playing out their struggle, over and over again. From a certain perspective, it looks like war. From another, it’s just life, another unremarkable demonstration of the way things happen.

Heroines is a bookshelf’s worth of nonfiction books layered one over the other. We begin with a memoir of Zambreno. She’s a young wife who makes the difficult choice to move to a place (actually two places—first Akron, Ohio, and then Asheville, North Carolina) where she has no roots or prospects,

because her husband lands a coveted academic librarian job there. She feels resentment as she reads about glitzy Paris and the glamorous Lost Generation. She feels shame over the resentment. And then she feels sympathy, and then outrage, for the women whose lives were shoved aside for some greater cause. Heroines is a wild spray of paragraphs scattered across every page; sometimes they follow a narrative, sometimes they don’t. Zambreno shifts between brief history lessons, bursts of self-pity, angry tirades, and desperate attempts to correct the historical record on behalf of women like T. S. Eliot’s wife, Vivian, who suffered mental distress and was thrown aside by the poet:

It has been painted, by Eliot’s biographers, that Viv was in fact the vampire who sucked Tom dry. Tom. Poor Tom. Peter Ackroyd: “I believe he went toward her with a kind of child-like trust.” Another biography: “Eliot met the girl who was to plow up, harrow, and strip his life to the bone.” The femme fatale, the succubus. The castrating female.

Zambreno laments that while F. Scott Fitzgerald gets to have pinned his harpoon into the Great American Novel, poor Zelda Fitzgerald’s writing is remembered not as “the American Dream, perhaps, but the Frivolous Girl Dream.” She rages against the silly social conditions that stymie all women, and therefore all female writers: “These men lost their looks or never had them, and it never once stopped them from writing. I’m sure Paul Bowles never looked at his ass and worried that he looked like a stuffed sausage in his skinny jeans.”

The shadows fall thick and heavy on women: Anaïs Nin. Eve. Salome. Simone de Beauvoir. Zambreno herself. She assembles a legion of women smothered by marriage. In her enthusiasm, her style often devolves into something that feels like notes scratched out on paper in the course of doing research in a library: “Who Are You?—the title of Anna Kavan’s haunting inquiry into the loss of the self in marriage. Jean Rhys wished she had thought of the title herself for Wide Sargasso Sea.” But at least we have some works by Nin and Rhys and de Beauvoir. Zambreno ruefully notes: “Often I think not of the works that have been written, but those that never were.”

Before you decide to tell Zambreno to snap out of her historical funk and move to the present, where things are different, consider this passage, when she meets with a young male writer she knew in college, who is on the verge of publishing what everyone expects to be a Very Important Book:

He tells me his work will be the longest first-person novel EVER. We discuss the respective length of Tristram Shandy, Ulysses, Infinite Jest, War and Peace, etc. He is pulling out his cock and comparing it with those writers with whom he will be compared. (I will be compared to nobody, I think, I am sent into an existential crisis when I get home, and for weeks afterwards.)

Zambreno barely manages to mention that she has published two books of her own, but they’re not considered Important by the publishing industry or academia or even, on some level, by Zambreno herself. The old biases are alive and well. The men still go out together in their jolly hunt for the Great American Novel while the women stay home and do less important work. “Canon actually comes from a Greek word for measuring rod,” Zambreno writes. Heroines does go on a bit too long. But suddenly, and without almost any warning, the book as we know it whiplashes to a

Kate Zambreno

stop and Zambreno launches into an inspirational speech that recontextualizes all the work we’ve seen before, tracing a clear path to female bloggers at work today. She ennobles the past and future at the same time, by showing that the transition from Nin’s diaries to confessional Tumblrs is not so outlandish. There’s a whole separate canon worth looking at, Zambreno exults. n

theater

Two Sleuths and a Stump

Number 2 Quebecois Robot Detective Agency and A Behanding in Spokane

by b rendan Kiley

The world needs more children’s fringe theater. Or maybe it just needs more of Ali el-Gasseir and Jonah Von Spreecken, the creators and performers of Number 2 Quebecois Robot Detective Agency, now playing at Washington Ensemble Theater. WET describes the play as a “live weekend-morning cartoon”—nothing against cartoons, but that’s a serious understatement. Quebecois Robot Detective Agency is one of the most charming shows around— on TV or on a stage.

Of course, having an audience full of children (between the ages of 2-ish and 8-ish) who are allowed to squirm and talk through the performance, playing peekaboo with the people in the seats behind them, helps. Great children’s theater, like great vaudeville, drives home a simple fact—theater should be an event, a real thing with real people happening in front of a real audience, not a reproduction. When people want a sleek reproduction of something that already happened, they go to the movies. (Maybe that’s why people complaining about bad theater sound so much more bitter than people complaining about a bad movie—because theater audiences are present, and in some way participants, may-

be they feel more spurned and disappointed when things go wrong.)

But nothing sandblasts away the old theater calluses like sitting in a tiny theater with two smart guys making quick-witted comedy in front of small children who get nervous when the lights go out but aren’t at all shy about shouting out some crazy interjection in the middle of a scene. That audience isn’t arthritic, it’s reacting. The actors acknowledge them and react back. And theater is nimble and fun again.

Quebecois Robot Detective Agency is about two Montreal robots, detectives who

cooperate and compete with each other. We first meet the “number two” detective, a lovable schlub in a trench coat named Phillipe Marleaux (Von Spreecken), who is only secondbest because his battery is weak and he has to stay plugged into the wall, inhibiting his ability to fight crime. (His electric tether is one of those retractable dog leashes people sometimes use on their own children—I like to think that’s a subversive jab at parents.)

Then we meet the “number one” detective, Djohnny François (el-Gasseir), who winks and has a theme song and is better at finding clues. But the plot is just a canvas for the two actors and their team to have fun with themselves and their audience. Set designer Cameron Irwin made a giant Rubik’s Cube out of cardboard boxes as one of the play’s puzzles, and costume designer Kat Stromberger built an inventive wig with speakers that broadcast the voice of a lady-robot (played in drag by el-Gasseir).

The whole thing reeks of enviable fun.

Areview

A Behanding in Spokane Theater Schmeater Through Feb 23

Behanding in Spokane, by Irish playwright Martin McDonagh, has a similar level of cartoonish glee, but with a more sinister premise—a homicidal, one-handed sociopath named Carmichael (Gordon Carpenter) is looking for his other hand, which was severed by some sadistic teenagers in Spokane almost 30 years ago. The last time Carmichael saw it, the teenagers were using it to wave good-bye at him. When the play opens, Carmichael is in a seedy motel room waiting for a couple of small-time hoods (a boyfriend-girlfriend couple played by Corey Spruill and Hannah Mootz) to deliver what he hopes is his hand. They bring a hand, but it’s not his. That’s when the trouble—involving a candle, a large can of gasoline, and a suitcase full of other people’s hands—begins.

The play is full of implausibility: Carmichael’s hand was apparently severed by the teens holding it onto a track in front of an oncoming train. How, exactly, does that work, logistically speaking? And why does he still think his hand is actually around after three decades? And that some dumb pot dealer could find it intact for $500? No matter—McDonagh’s gift has always been locating the macabre humor of people bickering over small, stupid details in the midst of improbable carnage. (The buckets of blood shed in his infamous Lieutenant of Inishmore, for example, begin with someone pet-sitting for a paramilitary nutcase.) This production of Behanding is fun, dumb, and entertaining, just like McDonagh’s script—its star is neither the one-handed creep nor the dumb kids but Brandon Ryan as a philosophical hotel clerk who watches the mayhem with an insightful detachment reminiscent of a Quentin Tarantino character.

Behanding has one glaring problem that New Yorker critic Hilton Als drilled into during its New York premiere in 2010—the boy hoodlum is cast as black. McDonagh has set all of his other plays in rural Ireland, and he can mock his dumb, violent hick characters as viciously as he wants. But his attempts to use American race relations as material for gallows humor are tone-deaf and problematic. Everything McDonagh writes is offensive— he eats offensive for breakfast—but the difference between his other gruesome jokes and the race jokes in Spokane are like the difference between making fun of your own family and making fun of someone else’s. All in all, this is a pretty good production of a pretty good play, and Ryan’s performance as the clerk is a wry joy to watch. Behanding wants you to wince—but sometimes it makes you wince for the wrong reasons. n

Number 2 Quebecois roboT deTecTive AgeNcy Très amusant!

lARAE lOBDEll

arts calendar Only the most noteworthy stuff.

art

Museums

H Frye Art MuseuM

Chamber Music is Scott Lawrimore’s first exhibit as the Frye’s curator, and it is a media-spanning translation. The genesis? James Joyce’s first published work, a 36-poem anthology titled Chamber Music, put out in 1907, the same year Charles and Emma Frye began collecting art. Thirty-six Seattle artists have been commissioned to create new works inspired not directly by the Joyce poems but onceremoved—by musical responses to Joyce’s originals, recorded on the acclaimed 2008 Fire Records compilation album featuring musicians like Mercury Rev, Lee Ranaldo, and Peter Buck. Free. Reception Fri Feb 8, 7:30-9 pm. Tues-Sun. Through May 19. 704 Terry Ave, 622-9250.

Gallery

Openings

H ArtXchAnge Elles at SAM was mostly about having a vagina in the West. Women’s Work: Culture and the Feminine is more global, featuring six artists who further complicate constructions of femininity in mahogany sculptures, tattered kimonos, tapestries, paintings, and video. Reception Thurs Feb 7, 5:30-8 pm. Tues-Sat. Through March 16. 512 First Ave S, 839-0377.

H Bellevue college

Color(ing) Within the Lines : Graphic works by some of the most important African American artists of the last 40 years, loaned by collector Jordan Schnitzer (as in, University of Oregon’s Jordan Schnitzer Museum of Art), including Kara Walker (remember her black silhouettes of slaves and masters doing the unthinkable to each other), Basquiat, Romare Bearden, Jacob Lawrence, and Lorna Simpson. Free. Opening lecture by Schnitzer Wed Feb 6, 4:30 pm Mon-Sat. Through April 12. 3000 Landerholm Circle SE, 425-564-1000.

Bherd studios Southern Gothic: Dark Fantasy from Portland , the gallery’s fourth all-female show, features five Portland artists on the line between fantasy and reality. In partnership with Tasty Gallery, 10 percent of show proceeds will be donated to New Beginnings to aid the fight against domestic violence. Free. Wed-Fri. Through March 1. 312 N 85th St, 234-8348.

H BlindFold gAllery Comfort: Fabrications: Caitlin Emeritz, Maura Donegan, Luke Haynes, T.V. Tommy Vision, and Michael Williamson exhibit “quilt and quilt-themed” objects in llama wool, bus schedules, tulle, and more. Free. Reception Thurs Feb 14, 6-9 pm. 1718 E Olive Way, Ste A, 328-5100.

H gAllery4culture Self : Rodrigo Valenzuela and Anthony Sonnenberg explore the concept of the self in a collection of interrelated videos. Is it something put on, like a shoe? Or is it more like a mirror that sticks out of your chest and sends your reflection to people behind you? Free. Reception Thurs Feb 7, 6-8 pm. Artist talk Tues Feb 12, 4:30 pm. Mon-Fri. Through March 1. 101

Prefontaine Pl S, 296-7580.

H lXWXh Future Forage: Brian Cypher’s latest work features fewer flat planes of dizzying geometric patterns, and more colorful forms with rounded edges that seem to fold into and around each other. Free.

Reception Sat Feb 9, 6-9 pm.

Mon-Sun. Through March 2. 6007 12th Ave S

H PAPer hAMMer Endless Horizons: Snapshots and Stories from the American West: John Kane’s vibrant photographs juxtapose our fantasies of the American West—Smokey the Bear, mustachioed cowboys atop bucking broncos—with the natural landscape of the American West. Reception Thurs Feb 7, 5-7 pm.

Mon-Sat. Through Feb 28. 1400 Second Ave, 682-3820.

H Prole driFt Season, the gallery run by artist Robert Yoder, presents IN THE BACK OF A DREAMCAR Ian Toms’ paintings and Allison Manch’s newest embroideries are somehow gritty and elegant all at the same time. Reception Thurs Feb 7, 6-8 pm. Fri-Sat. Through March 30. 523 South Main St

H Punch gAllery

Cynthia Camlin creates beautifully faceted watercolor paintings of glaciers, their palimpsest forms suspended on paper in a way that captures an infinite slowness. Free. Thurs-Sat. Through March 2. 119 Prefontaine Pl S, 621-1945.

Continuing Exhibitions

H suyAMA sPAce Deborah Aschheim (see review, page 23). Free. Mon-Fri. Through April 13. 2324 Second Ave, 256-0809.

H uW Allen liBrAry Images of Labor and Social Justice (see review, page 23). Free. Mon-Fri. Through April 19. UW Campus

Events

H islA leAver-yAP lecture LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL STOP PLEASE ALLOW FEATURES ASSUME EXPRESSION INDICATIVE OF AMUSEMENT JOY PLEASURE BENEVOLENCE ETCETERA BY DRAWING UP CORNERS OF MOUTH AND GENERALLY RELAXING FACIAL MUSCLES STOP LOVE FOR ALL STEFAN STOP was Leaver-Yap’s last project. The New Foundation Seattle and the University of Washington invite her as part of the Critical Issues in Contemporary Art series. Henry Art Gallery, 4100 15th Ave NE, 543-2280. Free. Thurs Feb 7, 7 pm.

H oPen studio With chArles sPitZAcK There are a million ways to screw up the process of carving a backward, multilayered image into a block of wood. As part of The Project Room’s series on failure, Spitzack uses some of his “failed” wood blocks to create new prints. The Project Room, 1315 E Pine St. Free. Sat Feb 9, 1-6 pm (drop in anytime).

H PechAKuchA night:

eXPlorAtions in Kitsch And Beyond Not the latest fancy yeast water— the other PechaKucha. A dozen artists, architects, and designers (including Klara Glosova, Nancy Schutt, Kelly Lyles, and more) speedily discuss art and kitsch by running through 20 images for 20 seconds each. Nordic Heritage Museum, 3014 NW 67th St, 789 5707. $5 suggested. Thurs Feb 7, 6-9 pm.

H rollAthon For Arts corPs

Members of the local arts community rollerskate it out in support of Arts Corps’ teen programs. Rumor has it that Randy Engstrom might wear booty shorts with his rollerblades. Southgate Roller Rink, 9646 17th Ave SW, 7624030. crowdrise.com/rollathon. $10. Sat Feb 9, 5-7 pm. syMPosiuM on BAM BienniAl 2012: high FiBer diet

BAM hosts a day of presentations and discussions—featuring artist Lia Cook, Surface Design Journal editor Marci Rae McDade, a handful of 2012 Biennial artists, and more—to see how everyone’s feeling after three months of a high-fiber diet. Bellevue Arts Museum 510 Bellevue Way NE, Bellevue, 425-519-0770. $35. Sat Feb 9, 10 am-5:30 pm. H veit strAtMAnn: iMPossiBle tAsKs In the fifth installment of The Project Room’s Successful People Talking About Failure series—which has already included talks by Trimpin, The Maldives, Barbara Thomas, and Tom Kundig—Paris-based artist Veit Stratmann discusses his work in the destroyed Italian town of L’Aquila, and this related conundrum: art fails to directly “solve” political or social problems, because if it didn’t fail it wouldn’t be art. The Project Room 1315 E Pine St. Free. Wed Feb 6, 6 pm. visualart@thestranger.com

readings

Wed 2/6

H colleen J. Mcelroy

Here I Throw Down My Heart is the ninth book of poetry from the University of Washington’s professor emeritus. Seattle Public Library, 1000 Fourth Avenue, 624-6600. Free. 7 pm.

nAthAnAel Johnson

All Natural: A Skeptic’s Quest to Discover If the Natural Approach to Diet, Childbirth, Healing, and the Environment Really Keeps Us Healthier and Happier is an interesting premise for a book. Unfortunately, Johnson—who was raised by back-to-the-Earth hippies who thought diapers in all their forms were evil—loads the narrative down with too much memoir and bloat to make the book really useful. Johnson is a gifted reporter, but this book is deadly boring. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave, 634-3400. $5. 7 pm.

H sAlMAn KhAn Salman Khan is the founder behind Khan Academy, the great free educational video series from YouTube. The One World Schoolhouse: Education Reimagined explains how he believes education should change in the time of the internet. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave, 624-6600. $5. 7:30 pm.

Thurs 2/7

hAB i BA i B rAhi M And rAlinA Jose Ph This is a reading for the books Troubling the Family: The Promise of Personhood and the Rise of Multiracialism and Transcending Blackness: From the New Millennium Mulatta to the Exceptional Multiracial University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400. Free. 7 pm.

B ill streever Heat: Adventures in the World’s Fiery Places is a book about heat: What makes it, what it’s like, and how people interact with it. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth Ave, 634-3400. $5. 7:30 pm.

Sat 2/9

H seXyti M e

This is the opening of a show presenting a collection of erotic movie posters also featured in a book titled Sexytime: The PostPorn Rise of the Pornoisseur Fantagraphics Bookstore and Gallery, 1201 S Vale St, 658-0110. Free. 6 pm.

H rAchel PoliQuin

Poliquin is the author of the very interesting-sounding The Breathless Zoo: Taxidermy and the Cultures of Longing Elliott Bay Book Company , 1521 10th Ave, 624-6600. Free. 7 pm.

Mon 2/11

H dAvid shields See Stranger Suggests, page 21. University Book Store 4326 University Way NE, 6343400. Free. 7 pm.

H sher MAn AleXie And g WilloW Wilson

Alexie is the Stranger Genius responsible for, most recently, Blasphemy Wilson is the local author who wrote the technothriller Alif the Unseen, which is just out in paperback. Both are great books we loved when they were first published last year. Elliott Bay Book Company, 1521 10th Ave, 624-6600. Free. 7 pm.

H PACIFICA releAse PArty

This is a celebration of the release of the first issue of the Pacifica Literary Review

Contributing authors Lisa Nicholas-Ristcher, Maggie MK Hess, Sarah Kathyrn Moore, Leena Joshi, Joannie Stangeland, and Jake Uitti will read. The Pine Box 1600 Melrose Ave, 5880375. Free. 7:30 pm.

Tues 2/12

H B rAndon sAnderson And hArriet McdougAl

This is a reading for the last book of Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series, A Memory of Light Sanderson is the author who was chosen to complete the series from Jordan’s notes, and he will be appearing tonight with McGougal, who is Jordan’s widow. University Temple United Methodist Church ,

1415 NE 43rd St, 634-3400. $10 without book. 7 pm. readings@thestranger.com

theater

Opening and Current Runs

B eAting u P BAch MAn

“This new play by Wayne Rawley centers on the Trucker sisters, three tough, small-town broads facing a whirlwind of emotional and financial disasters: a death in the family, bankruptcy, the appearance of a vampiric exwife who wants custody of a child, and some inept, bumbling attempts at domestic violence. (Rawley, like Irish playwright Martin McDonagh, has a gift for writing the sillier side of brutal acts that would be horrifying in real life. And it helps, in the case of Bachman, that the female characters—including grumpy old mama Trucker—are ten times tougher than any of the men.) The only real trouble with Bachman: It’s twice as long as it needs to be. It contains a few diamondsharp lines and some genuine surprises, but we have to wade through a few acres of unnecessary swampland to get there.”

(Brendan Kiley) West of Lenin 203 N 36th St, www.brownpapertickets.com. $17-$20. ThursSat at 7:30 pm. Through Feb 16.

H A B ehAnding in s PoKAne

See review, page 26. Theater Schmeater , 1500 Summit Ave, www.brownpapertickets. com. $18-$23. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm. Through Feb 23.

A dAy in the deAth oF Joe egg

See review, thestranger.com.

ACT Theater , 700 E Union St, 292-7676. $15-$30. ThursSat at 7:30 pm. Sun at 2 pm. Through Feb 17.

H nu MB er 2 QuÉBÉcois

roBot detective Agency

See review, page 26. Washington Ensemble Theater , 608 19th Ave E, www.washingtonensemble.org. $5-$10. Thurs, Sat, and Sun at 11 am and 1 pm. Through Feb 10.

H the seAgull

“These actors, directed by John Langs, have been rehearsing this production of Checkhov’s Seagull for nine months—in the old Russian style instead of the quick, four-week American rehearsal period—and the experiment seems to have paid off. It’s hard not to fall in love with Alexandra Tavares as Nina, the naive country girl who dreams of becoming a famous actress and steals hearts along the way. Tavares’s performance has an unusual combination of radiance and earthiness—fitting for a provincial girl with big-city dreams. Not earthy like dung, but sweet and musky like a loft full of hay.”

(Brendan Kiley) ACT Theater

700 E Union St, 292-7676. $15$35. Thurs-Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Feb 10.

Dance

H roM eo et J uliette

Music by Prokofiev, choreography by Jean-Christophe Maillot.

Back in 2009, when Pacific Northwest Ballet first performed this R&J, Jen Graves wrote that artistic director Peter Boal “has beefed up PNB’s short, experimental repertory, but his updating of [Kent Stowell’s] Romeo and Juliet with Roméo et Juliette is proof that he’s undermining convention on all fronts, refusing to ghettoize experimentalism. His unified vision can reach even the big-story ballets. And the audience is eating it up. It’s understandable: Roméo et Juliette is hot. It seduces the audience with everything the dancers have, not just some of it—their command and their release; their Olympian ability not just to spin bolt upright but also to ache; their fingers, eyes, mouths; their acting. Feels are copped. Making out is not symbolized: It occurs.” (Jen Graves) PNB at McCaw Hall 321 Mercer St, 441-2424. pnb. org. $23-$183. Thurs-Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 1 pm. Through Feb 10. theater@thestranger.com

H means we recommend it. Tons more listings at thestranger.com

DRINKING

A Guilty Pleasure, Heavy on the Guilt

Sometimes I Like Going to The Rock Wood-Fired Pizza & Spirits

BY MEGAN SELING

Tnothing charming or neighborhoody about it. There are fake exposed brick walls with fake holes busted into them. Tabletops are made out of panels from amp cases. Neon lights are fucking flowing everywhere. And the waiters greet you by saying something like “How you dudes doin’? I’m gonna be your buddy for the next hour or so.”

The paper in the basket to help absorb the grease was fake sheet music for “It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock Some Dough).”

It’s like all the restaurants in every movie about working in a crappy restaurant rolled into one.

The food has gotten the commercial makeover, too. While they still get more experimental with their pizza combinations than your average joint (and they still have more than 30 toppings to choose from, from arugula and almonds to whole roasted garlic cloves), now it feels like a heat-and-serve eatery instead of a local, independently owned pizza joint with handmade crust.

Everything on the menu has classicrock-themed names. Day Trippers are fat mini-calzone stuffed with pepperoni, sausage, and mozzarella or, alternately, jalapeño peppers, artichoke hearts, and herb cream cheese. They were scorching hot on the outside, still very cold in the middle, and served with a side of marinara and ranch dressing. The paper in the wire basket to help absorb the grease was fake sheet music for a song called “It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock Some Dough).”

Brown Sugar Mozz Bread is exactly what it sounds like: Their garlic mozzarella bread (which I like) is covered in brown sugar (?!) and baked until gooey. It’s not bad, it’s just… weird. I don’t regret trying it, but I also never want to eat it again.

super cheesy. It wasn’t a hole-in-the-wall, but it felt less like a gimmick and more like a neighborhood spot with a sense of humor. It was where my friends and I would go for pizza after making the trek south for a show at Hell’s Kitchen or other all-ages Tacoma venues. I loved going there because they had Thomas Kemper Root Beer on tap and about 800 different pizza toppings, including broccoli, and there’s nothing I love more on my pizza than goddamn broccoli.

The Rock has changed over the years. Now there are more than a dozen locations spread out around Washington, Oregon, Colorado, and Canada (with plans to develop 40 stores

before 2020), including one two blocks from my apartment on Lower Queen Anne. It’s in the newish Maxwell Hotel—the one with the big pineapple on the front.

I was excited to see that The Rock was opening so close to my house.

he first time I went to The Rock was in the early 2000s, in Tacoma. It was the first location of what would become a rock-and-roll-themed pizza chain; this was before it became The Rock Wood-Fired

“That’s the place I used to go with Patty and everyone after shows in Tacoma!” I told my husband. But the first time we walked through the door, less than a week after they opened, I said with a heavy heart, “This is not the same place I used to go after shows in Tacoma…”

Today, The Rock looks like Bret Michaels’s man cave. The rock-and-roll theme has been turned up to 11—way, way overdone. There’s

Also in the not-bad-but-not-great category is the pizza. There’s worse pizza in Seattle (just down the street, in fact, at New York Pizza & Bar). Because it’s wood-fired, the crust is crunchy on the outside and tender in the middle, and the dough is slightly sweet. The sauce is so, so bland, but you can fix that by putting whatever the fuck you want on it— hot peppers, loads of red pepper flakes. Or you could get the white sauce, which is more delicate than bland, and acts as a nice creamy background to whatever you feel like putting on top. But most importantly—to me, at least—one of the available toppings is broccoli. Where else in Seattle, other than Zeeks, can you put broccoli on your pizza? (No, seriously, if you find me a place, I will go there.)

Of course, Bambino’s is better pizza. Big Mario’s is better pizza. Hot Mama’s, Zeeks, and Piecora’s are better pizza. And when you eat at those places, you don’t feel like you’re sitting in the Hard Rock Cafe’s quasi-rebellious little brother’s basement. But none of those places are two blocks from my house, and sometimes you just get tired of Pagliacci, okay?

The Rock: If you’re near Seattle Center and you like broccoli on your pizza, it’s a place to go. n

Comment on broccoli on pizza at THESTRANGER.COM/CHOW

CHEESY A rock-and-roll theme, turned up to 11.

New

• IL CORVO • Pioneer Square: Formerly located on the Pike Street Hillclimb near the Zig Zag, lunchtime pasta spot Il Corvo has moved to a slightly less tiny spot in Pioneer Square (expect lots of articles about neighborhood’s restaurant renaissance when Matt Dillon opens Bar Sajor there soon). In case you’re unaware, Il Corvo means “the crow” and is brought to you by Mike Easton, who makes his pasta with vin tage hand-cranked machines, tops it with made-to-order sauces, and serves it to you for less than $10 per plate. This pasta is great. Note: Cash only. (217 James St, 6224280, ilcorvopasta.wordpress.com, $–$$)

• ZACCAGNI’S • Pike Place Market: Zaccag ni’s replaced Wonder Freeze, that walk-up soft-serve spot with the beautiful old-school signage across from the hot-mini-dough nuts stand in the Pike Place Market. The signage is gone (SAD), but Zaccagni’s meatball sandwich is quite good (if not as good as LoPriore’s amazing one), and we’re running back as fast as our legs can carry us to try the eggplant Parmesan, which a guy we know says is “maybe the best sandwich in Seattle.” (97B Pike St, 765-6605, $)

Kedai Makan’s mascot is a rubber chicken named Kevin.

• MASHAWI MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE • Lower Queen Anne: “Mashawi” means “to barbecue or cook food over fire,” and you already know what Mediterranean cuisine means. This family-owned place specializes in Lebanese dishes, and it sounds really good (366 Roy St, 2820078, mashawirestaurant.com, $$)

• PING’S DUMPLING HOUSE • International District: Our friend Erika, who is a legit China scholar and has lived over there for longish stretches and also is a great cook of Chinese food herself, says, “I am a big fan of a small place in the ID called Ping’s. The proprietress is from a city close to Beijing, and they serve the best northern fare I’ve found here: dumplings, fried street snacks, zhou (Chinese porridge), and other assorted dishes. Much as I would love to dine with you in China someday, Ping’s is a good fix for now.” (508 S King St, 6236764, pingsdumplinghouse.com, $)

• KEDAI MAKAN • Capitol Hill: Kedai Makan—from a former Ba Bar/Monsoon/ Poppy chef and a former Cascadia/now Crush staffer who traveled (and ate) extensively in Southeast Asia—makes Malaysian street food. It’s pronounced “kah-dye mah-kan.” They started out at farmers markets, and their tiny brick-and-mortar location is where Tacos Gringos used to be on Olive Way; their mascot is a rubber chicken named Kevin. (1510 E Olive Way, kedaimakanseattle.com, $)

• BEACON AVE SANDWICHES • Beacon Hill: This sandwich shop is brought to you by the people behind cafe/community-andhiphop hangout the Station (a place that Charles Mudede has called “the coolest 206 joint in the city”). The sandwiches are named after local spots, like “The Jefferson Park”: fresh mozzarella

vinegar, and extra virgin olive oil (promising!). (2505 Beacon Ave S, 453-4892, facebook.com/BeaconAveSandwishes, $)

KUKAI RAMEN AND IZAKAYA • Bellevue: Kukai claims to have the most authentic ramen in the States; the chain is ubiquitous in Tokyo. Seems possibly worth a trip to Bellevue to test it out. (14855 Main St, 425-243-7527, kukai-ramen.com, $–$$)

“Beer lubricates the vocal cords,” says Bellevue Brewing Company.

• BRASS TACKS • Georgetown: Brass Tacks is the full-service sister restaurant to Ground Control, the well-liked Georgetown sandwich shop and bar. (6031 Airport Way S, 397-3821, $$)

• BELLEVUE BREWING COMPANY • Bellevue: “People don’t realize how much they need to communicate with each other on a daily basis just to keep the world spinning Beer lubricates the vocal cords, thereby keeping the lines of communication open and the world spinning at the proper speed,” says Bellevue Brewing Company cofounder John Robertson. (1820 130th Ave NE, Bellevue, 425497-8686, bellevuebrewing.com, $–$$)

• NOW MAKE ME A SANDWICH • On the Road: Now Make Me a Sandwich is a food truck that “specializes in grilled sandwiches that taste awesome” (and early reports concur with this assertion). The truck was born when its owner told his boss at a corporate food distro company to “lick it.” (714-5090, nowmakemeasandwich.com, $)

• COMPASS CAFE • South Lake Union: Compass Cafe brings local/organic/sustainable sandwiches and salads to the brand-new, very neato reincarnation of the Museum of History & Industry, located right on (and partially in!) Lake Union. (860 Terry Ave N, 324-1126, mohai.org, $)

Chow Events

Thurs 2/7

H WALRUS & THE CARPENTER NIGHTTIME OYSTER PICNIC

Get on the Oyster Bus! Jon Rowley, local seafood superhero, hosts an epic evening of oyster-eating. Armed with lanterns, you’ll farm the oyster beds of Totten Inlet for dinner, and then sample oyster-friendly wines while you warm up by the bonfire. Also: oyster stew. This excellent event pre-dates, and is not affiliated with, the alsoexcellent The Walrus & The Carpenter restaurant, and it all benefits the Puget Sound Restoration Fund. Taylor Shellfish Farms Totten Inlet, 963-5959. taylorshellfish.com. $125. 6:30 pm.

Sat 2/9

H LUNAR NEW YEAR FOOD WALK

See Stranger Suggests, page 21. The year of the Snake gets started in the International District with taiko drums, martial arts, and lots of food—for the Lunar New Year Food Walk, more than 20 restaurants offer $2 snacks. International District , 382-1197. cidbia.org. $2 per item. 11 am-4 pm.

• SAM’S TAVERN • Capitol Hill: Sam’s, located in the former Chino’s space, is run by a guy whose family was involved with the beginning of the Red Robin empire. According to Facebook, Sam’s offers “a vibrant setting, convivial ambience, and hip American tavern concept”; like Red Robin, Sam’s serves gourmet hamburgers and bottomless fries (they should really put some pants on). Early reports indicate that the decor is very familiar and the food is not so great. (1024 E Pike St, 860-4238, samstavernseattle.com, $)

• MADISON KITCHEN • Madison Park: Madison Kitchen—a soup/salad/sandwich counter conveniently located near Madison Park beach—is the project of former chef turned social worker turned chef (and manager of Vios, which bodes well) Joe Goodall, according to Eater Seattle. (4122 E Madison St, madison-kitchen.com, $)

• GABA SUSHI • Pioneer Square: This “one of a kind sushi fast food restaurant” in Pioneer Square offers sprouted brown rice, which apparently is high in gammaaminobutyric acid (thus the name), which, they claim, “helps to maintain balance in the brain and to prevent Alzheimer’s disease… [and] can have the following benefits: lower anxiety, increased sleep cycle for deeper rest, lower blood pressure, and other improved cardiovascular functions.” As healthy as that sounds, Billy Beach (formerly of Umi Sake House, now at Japonessa) is involved, so there’s lots of aioli and other drizzled sauces. (220 First Ave S, 206-486-2432, gabasushi.com, $)

• WHISKY BAR • Belltown: The Whisky Bar has relocated to where Splash Lounge—and before that, V-Bar Noodle Bar & Lounge— failed to thrive, (and where, sigh, Saito’s sushi was for so long). It’s nicer than it used to be, but whether that’s a good thing or not is open to debate. (2122 Second Ave, 443-4490, whiskybarseattle.wordpress.com, $–$$)

More, more, MORE at THESTRANGER.COM/CHOW

Sun 2/10

H SPEED RACK SEATTLE Speed Rack is a bartending competition for “mixtresses”— where Seattle’s cocktail wizardesses will do competitive cocktail-making for a panel of expert judges in timed heats, while hopefully also raising a crap-ton of money for breast cancer research. Century Ballroom, 915 E Pine St, second floor, 324-7263. speed-rack.com. $20, $25 at the door. 3-7 pm.

H PIKE BREWING 5TH ANNUAL CHOCOFEST

See Stranger Suggests, page 21. Pike Pub & Brewery offers “foreplay before the big day.” Pike Pub & Brewing Company, 1415 First Ave, 812-6604. pikebrewing. com. $45. 5-8 pm.

H LUNAR NEW YEAR AT MONSOON

If your recent holiday season did not contain enough holiday festivities, head to Monsoon or Monsoon East, where Eric and Sophie Banh will be celebrating Tet by making pork belly stew and sticky rice wraps (a traditional holiday snack with mung bean or pork belly). Diners also receive traditional lucky envelopes (unfortunately, they will contain candy rather than cash). Also, Tet decor! Reservations very much recommended. Monsoon, 615 19th Ave E, 325-2111. 5-10 pm.

Mon 2/11

H JAPANESE WHISKY: TRULY A RARE TREAT

This discussion of Japanese whisky is moderated by first-class cocktail nerd Andrew Friedman of Liberty, and it is sure to open (or reopen) the floodgates of brown liquor nerdiness for you. Poquitos , 1000 E Pike St. $40. 4-6 pm.

H CALAMITY JANE’S BEER AND BINGO NIGHT Bingo plus booze equals FUN, and this Monday night bingo game has $2.50 PBR tallboys with all-you-can-eat spaghetti for $9.13 (plus meatballs “as big as your head” for a bit more). N.B.: The first Monday of every month is Dyke Date Bingo, where “you don’t have to be a lesbian, but if you are, grab a friend and come on down!” Calamity Jane’s , 5701 Airport Way S, 7633040. calamityjanes.biz. Every Mon 6-10 pm.

Tues 2/12

H DRINKING LIBERALLY

A weekly evening of liberals, drinking, almost always including The Stranger’s own Goldy. Montlake Ale House, 2307 24th Ave E, 726-5968. livingliberally. org. Free. Every Tues at 8 pm.

Tues 2/19

H THINK AND DRINK: AN EVEN GREENER WASHINGTON: THE FUTURE OF MARIJUANA POST I-502 KUOW’s Ross Reynolds hosts a Think & Drink conversation on marijuana in the wake of its legalization with Alison Holcomb, an author of I-502, and Sgt. Sean Whitcomb, public affairs director for the SPD. Smoke ’em if you got ’em! Naked City Brewery & Taphouse, 8564 Greenwood Ave N, (206) 838-6299. humanities.org/programs/thinkdrink. Free. 7 pm.

Fri-Sat 2/22-23

H HOP SCOTCH SPRING BEER AND SCOTCH FESTIVAL Hop Scotch says hellLO! to spring with Scotch and beer, plus wine and Washington whiskey, too, with Fremont Studios functioning as the tasting lounge in this benefit for SIFF. Your ticket gets you a commemorative glass and drink tokens for beer, wine, or flights of single-malt Scotch or Washington whiskey, depending on which package you purchase. Fremont Studios , 155 N 35th St, 838-9080. hopscotchtasting.com. $20-$75. Fri 5 pmmidnight, Sat 11-midnight.

BECHEROVKA,

JAPANESE

MONDAY, FEBRUARY

Doors Open at 3:30 • Seminar

The best female bartenders from the Northwest will duke it out in a top bartender competition of speed and accuracy.

Tickets $20 online at srseattle.eventbrite.com or $25 at the door Donation includes punch from premium sponsors.

For more information visit www.speed-rack.com

Proceeds Benefit Breast Cancer Research and Education. Must be 21 to attend. Please Drink Responsibly.

You will have the unique opportunity to taste & experience. Never before have both major brands of Japanese & Nikka) been at the same event. At the close of this historical of Japanese Whisky, but will have tasted many

Included in the cost of the event, food will be served between the speakers.

Colin Appiah at Rocco’s, Saturday Feb 9th 9pm - 11pm Speed Rack at Century Ballroom Sunday Feb 10th 3-7pm Century Ballroom 915 E Pine St Seattle, WA 98122 SUNDAY FEBRUARY 10, 2013 3 -7 PM

FEATURED SPEAKER: Neyah White // Suntory

ADDITIONAL SPEAKERS

Maurice Chevalier IV // Anchor Distributing, Nikka Andrew Friedman (Moderator) // Liberty

TICKETS: $40

Available on Strangertickets.com

Brought to you by:

BACARDI USA WELCOMES

SPECIAL BACARDI EVENTS!

TRULY A RARE TREAT

FEBRUARY 11TH

Seminar from 4pm – 6pm

learn about Japanese whisky in a one-of-a-kind Japanese whisky that are available in America (Suntory historical event, you will not just know the rich history of these world-class, award winning whiskies.

MEZCAL: A LOVE STORY (PANEL

& TASTING)

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12TH

Doors Open at 12:30. Seminar: 1pm – 3pm, Lunch: 3pm – 4pm, and Tasting: 4 – 7pm

Price: $40 for the seminar / $20 for the tasting or $50 for a combination ticket Available on Strangertickets.com

Many may know Mezcal as the smokier cousin of Tequila, but it is much more complicated than that. Experience a world class panel of experts to share their respective knowledge, background, and stories, and to present a well-rounded idea of this mysterious and wonderful Mexican spirit.

In this two hour seminar, we will be given history lessons from the experts; distillation processes from the owners, and personal accounts from the best in the business about why they fell in love with Mezcal, and what drove them to pursue that passion.

After lunch, taste your way through the mezcals you just learned about from 4pm-7pm.

Featured Speakers:

Ryan Fitzgerald, Del Maguey Single Village Mezcals

Stephen Meyers, Ilegal Mezcal

Julio Mestre, Los Siete Misterios Mezcal

Eduardo Belaunzaran, Wahaka Mezcal

Mike Ryan, Prolific Chicago Bartender & Educator

Featured Brands in the Tasting:

Del Maguey Single Village Mezcals

Ilegal Mezcal

Los Siete Misterios Mezcal

Wahaka Mezcal

Fidencio Mezcal

El Jolgorio Mezcal

Pierde Almas Mezcal

Agave De Cortes Mezcal

Sombra Mezcal

Agrodolce • Ba Bar The Back Door

Barrio • Café Presse • Cannon

Copper Gate • El Quetzal

Il Bistro • La Carta de Oaxaca Lecosho • Liberty Bar

Madison Park Conservatory

Marjorie • Matt’s in the Market Mezcaleria Oaxaca

Mistral Kitchen • Ocho

Poquito’s • Re:public • Rob Roy

The Saint • Sun Distillery • Skillet Sun Liquors • Toulouse Petit

Whale Wins • Wine World

CAPITOL HILL 1000 E PIKE ST

MUSIC

The Best of everything So Much to Like at This Upcoming Show

by Emily Nok E s

I’m totally biased because I live in the Central (and Best) District, but catching a show at neighborhood bike shop 20/20 Cycle is magical. Owner Alex Kostelnik hosts a handful of all-ages music events every year, moving piles of bikes, bike parts, and accessories to create a low-ceilinged, DIy venue that’s always a welcome change from the bar grind.

unnatural helpers, la luz, lonesome shack

w/Gold Van Records Sat Feb 9, 20/20 Cycle, 8 pm, all ages

On February 9, local garage punks Unnatural Helpers will be sharing a bill with the tears-surfing lady group

Who are La Luz?

Shana Cleveland (guitar), Abbey Blackwell (bass), Katie Jacobson (keyboard), and Marian Li Pino (drums). We all sing, and most of the band has pretty wicked dance moves. Tell me about La Luz!

Shana: We play surf rock and rock ’n’ roll with girl-group doo-wop sounds. We started playing together in July and played our first show at the Funhouse in October. We have an EP called Damp Face that we self-released on cassette and ran out of. Burger Records is reissuing it on February 5—just in time for the show!

Please describe the sound of Lonesome Shack.

Marian: Sexy.

Shana: Lonesome Shack is one of the best blues bands there is, and I have seen (what feels like) a million blues bands before, because both my parents are blues musicians. What is your favorite Lonesome Shack song?

Shana: My personal favorite is probably the one they did about having a tapeworm. Best lyric: “I could eat a barrel of meat.” But they don’t play that one anymore, no matter how many times I request it!

Marian: I like the sexy-sounding ones. This band is seriously one of my favorites in town. Have you shopped at Gold Van Records yet?

Shana: I haven’t bought anything from them yet, but Ruben recently gave us a bunch of records, and my favorites so far are Lost Animal, Deep Time, and SHE. If you like rock ’n’ roll, you could probably buy anything that Ruben and Lacey recommend and be really happy. Have you ever played 20/20 Cycle before?

Shana: I’ve played there a bunch of times with my group the Sandcastles. It’s a rad space to see shows, and Alex does a great job with sound.

Marian: I played there once with the Pica Beats—20/20 has a comfy and open vibe. I dig it. Banana seats: yes or no?

Shana: Duh.

wonders La Luz and stripped-down, ghostly blues-makers Lonesome Shack. Just this lineup alone at this venue is A+, but the sparkling cherry on top is that Ruben Mendez and Lacey Swain’s Gold Van Records—a mobile record shopping experience full of hand-picked vinyl—will be open for business outside the show. you know and love the Helpers, but let’s get acquainted with these other folks in a triple interview party with La Luz, Lonesome Shack, and Gold Van Records!

Gold Van RecoRds

What is Gold Van Records?

Ruben: Gold Van is a van that is gold in color. There’s white shag carpet and a gold lamé bench seat for browsing. A sparkly shelf holds our top nine new LPs; a golden crate houses used LPs and singles. Oh, and there’s a little stereo hooked up to an iPod that plays music available in the van.

Lacey: GV is like a garage sale on wheels specializing in records—most likely records that you won’t find at a lot of brick-andmortar record shops.

What is your record stock like?

Ruben: I would say on average there are about 50 new LPs, 50 used LPs, and 50 7-inches. Genres are all over the place— country, new wave, cold wave, punk, glam, weirdo pop, outsider, ugly.

What’s the best record in the van?

Ruben: There’s the SHE Outta Reach record and Protomartyr’s two 7-inch singles. I have some really cool Australian stuff on the way, too.

Lacey: My favorite new things for sale are the La Luz cassette, David Arvedon, and Lost Animal.

What does La Luz sound like?

Ruben: Old-school girl doo-wop meets surf.

Lacey: They sound exactly like what you want going inside yer earballs whether you’re happy or sad, male or female, dog- or cat-person.

What does Lonesome Shack sound like?

Lacey: The last time we saw ’em, it was really just the one-man band of Ben Todd. It’s a full band now, and I can’t wait to see them! What records would you recommend for each band playing tonight?

Ruben: For La Luz, SHE; for Lonesome Shack, Charlie Tweddle; for Unnatural Helpers, the new Ooga Boogas LP. Where can a person find Gold Van?

Ruben: Join the e-mail list at goldvanrecords@gmail.

Who are Lonesome Shack?

Ben Todd (guitar, vocals, songwriting), Kristian Garrard (drums), Luke Bergman (bass), and occasionally Andrew Swanson (saxophone). Tell me about Lonesome Shack!

Ben: Haunted boogie blues. I made tapes for years when I lived in a lonesome shack in Alma, New Mexico, but the beginning of the band, as it is now, was when I started to play with Kristian in ’08. Luke joined a couple years back, and that really filled the band out. Our new record, City Man, was recorded live to tape in one night at Cafe Racer and features Andrew Swanson on sax.

Do you know about Gold Van Records?

Ben: Gold Van Records is a mobile record vendor in a mini Ark II van painted gold. I’ve always wanted one of those vans, but haven’t been able to find one that wasn’t too thrashed. If you haven’t seen Ark II, I recommend it. I haven’t bought anything from Gold Van Records yet, but I plan on it! I’m stoked to see what treasures it contains. Please describe the sound of La Luz.

Ben: Good-time surf and doo-wop from the shadowy side of the green room.

Kristian: Sixties surf ’n’ soul for dreamers, mirror ball and silver streamers. What is your favorite La Luz song?

Ben: “Sure as Spring”—it has a hopeful and uplifting feel despite its melancholy. I love the line “Now I kinda wanna die/And that’s the truest way to know that I’m alive.”

Banana seats: yes or no?

Kristian: Mega yes! The longer and sparklier the better. The same can be said about all appliances

Do you have any free advice or hot tips?

Ben: Dancing makes it fun!

Luke: Man o’ War in the third round. n

Read the rest of these interviews at th E stra N g E r.com/music

• Tacoma’s seminal garage-fathers, the Sonics, played a sold-out show on Saturday at Showbox at the Market with Seattle grunge-masters Mudhoney. We are happy to say, the Sonics (some members now in their 70s) totally still got it, and their encore included “Strychnine,” “The Witch,” and a cover of Neil Young’s “Rockin’ in the Free World.” Mudhoney played the hits with a few new songs mixed in from their upcoming album Vanishing Point—one young man could no longer contain himself and jumped from a bar ledge into the crowd, where he skidded sideways, composed himself, and continued dancing like a maniac.

• The clear winner of Super Bowl XLVII was, of course, Beyoncé, whose tight choreography and obviously not lip-synched diva hits (and who the hell cares about a lipsynched national anthem? Beyoncé can do whatever she wants with that stale number) absolutely killed it. Despite rumors that it wasn’t going to happen, B was joined by her Destiny’s Child bandmates Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams after all.

• Whatever was playing at the Paramount Theater on Saturday night let out around 11 p.m., unleashing tutu’d teens, gogglewearers, and so much street-side vomiting into downtown. (Update: The show was something called Excision, which is apparently Canadian wubby-dubstep that sounds/ looks/is exactly like a poor man’s Skrillex KIDS. UGH.)

• Shoegaze-rock gods My Bloody Valentine finally followed up their classic 1991 LP Loveless, releasing m b v on a freakin’ Saturday night—a perverse move that upstaged the Super Bowl (no, really). The nine-track album (which was issued digitally through mybloodyvalentine. org, physical copies become available February 22) holds no real surprises—although “Nothing Is” and “Wonder 2” deviate somewhat from previous MBV output. The new full-length “merely” sounds like the logical successor to Loveless, and for many devoted fans, that’s quite enough.

• Woven Hand played a seriously sptwangly™ (spooky + twang + the letter ‘l’) show at Chop Suey on Friday night. Lead Hand and ex–16 Horsepower singer David Edwards wore a weird farmer hat—looking something like Tom Petty and Britt Danielson, with a little Poltergeist in there—and growled lyrics and Bible verses (terrifying!) to an awestruck audience over resonating, skeleton-shaking neofolk music. The winner of the Best Dressed Audience Member of the night goes to sleeveless shirt/coonskin hat man. Not bad!

• The Grizzled Mighty, River Giant, Rose Windows, and Kithkin played Neumos on Friday. A hot tipper tells us: “River Giant guys both look like Steve Jobs’s sons and one of them had a cool Cosby sweater. Rose Windows played their hit, which will probably be in a ton of commercials and TV shows soon. Kithkin are the new Animal Collective meets Television. And Grizzled Mighty are like the White Stripes had a baby with Reignwolf.” n

la luz

lonesome shack

The Return of the Return

The 10th Anniversary of Specs One’s Classic

by Charles Mudede

Before the big year of 2005—a big year for local hiphop, that is—four albums made it clear that something was in the air, something was about to really happen. Though no one knew exactly what shape this something would take, everyone was certain that it would somehow be related to one or all of these albums: Gift of Gab’s 2004 4th Dimensional Rocketships Going Up (yes, Gift of Gab is from the Bay Area, but the album was recorded in Seattle and produced by Jake One and Vitamin D), Blue Scholars’ 2004 debut Blue Scholars, Onry Ozzborn’s 2003 The Grey Area (which was released by Portland’s One Drop), and finally, Specs One’s 2004 Return of the Artist. Specs One’s album was recently rereleased to celebrate the 10th anniversary of its creation.

Specs One is a much-admired local rapper, producer, artist, and activist who fell in love with hiphop in 1979 and began making music in the mid-1980s. As there are writers for writers and filmmakers for filmmakers, Specs One is a rapper for rappers. It’s not that he doesn’t want to rap for everyone (he does), and he has nothing against fame and making money, it’s just that he can only make hiphop that he wants to hear, hiphop that he loves. You can separate, say, Jay-Z’s music from Jay-Z (indeed, he says as much— “If skills sold, truth be told/I’d probably be, lyrically, Talib Kweli”), but you can’t separate Specs One from his music. And the more you are your music, the less likely it will speak to or connect with a large audience.

Return of the Artist was released by Abduction, a label founded in 1993 by the experimental trio Sun City Girls. The Sun City Girls were big fans of the “insane number of limited-edition cassettes and CD-Rs” Specs One made, and describe him on their website as the “Holy Ghost of Northwest un derground.” The album, which has 15 tracks (the reissue has two bonus tracks), is a time less work because Specs One never followed a trend or a specific school. You can’t describe the beats and rhymes on this album as North west (as a rapper, he almost never mentions the rain, nor is he preoccupied with his city or a neighborhood in the city), or West Coast, or East Coast. Specs One’s raps mostly refer to an almost pure and placeless hiphop realm. Recorded over a period of three months at Bean One’s studio, Return of the Artist is Specs One’s most fully produced work and his highest achievement. Yes, he is still active and still releasing great stuff, but he has yet to surpass the unity and clarity of Return of the Artist n

Pure and placeless.

The Young Ones

Meet This Year’s Sound Off! Semifinalists

by Megan Seling

Now in its 11th year, Sound Off! (EMP’s battle of underage bands) has helped launch the careers of many talented musicians—Dyme Def, the Lonely Forest, Kithkin, Sol, Tomten, Brite Futures… the list goes on.

All from the Pacific Northwest, this year’s pool of 12 semifinalists includes everything from experimental hiphop, to quaint, stripped-down bedroom pop.

Four bands play each night, and the winner—along with one wild card band chosen by the EMP Youth Advisory Board—will move on to the finals on March 2 for a chance to win studio time, gear, and a slot at Bumbershoot. For tickets and more information, visit empmuseum.org.

Here’s your cram session on who’s who, so you can start placing your bets now!

Round One: Sat Feb 9

DAVE B.

From: Renton. Sounds Like: Hiphop with a solid and smooth flow, R&B hooks that’ll make you groove uncontrollably. Fun Fact: When Dave B. found out he made it to the semifinals, he “ended up having a 10-minute celebratory dance party. It was awesome.”

MISTER MISTA

From: Seattle. Sounds Like: Classic rock with a blues vibe—sometimes sounds like it was heavily inspired by later Beatles, while other times sounds like they really enjoy the Doors. Fun Fact: If Mister Mista could summon one superpower during the show, singer and guitarist Jonah Simone says, “I’d opt for collective mass synesthesia, causing everyone in the audience to hallucinate the music in congress with each other.” Whoa.

THE FAME RIOT

layers her smoky, seductive voice with electronic noises, strings, and piano, sounding at once like something coming out of a Victrola and the speakers at a Belltown nightclub. Fun Fact: Manser was also quite excited when she found out that her group made it into Sound Off! “I was on the 72 bus. First, I stopped breathing,” she says. “Then I kept repeating ‘WHAT?’ Lastly, I wanted to jump out of that bus window and run a marathon.”

SHEBEAR

From: Puyallup. Sounds Like: Music that happens when a band loves both the Killers and John Hughes movies. Fun Fact: The band’s interest on Facebook is “Cuddling everyone.” Be prepared for hugs!

ROSE

“First, I stopped breathing, then I kept repeating ‘WHAT?’”

From: Portland. Sounds Like: Experimental, DIY hiphop with a choppy flow and clever lyrics about burgers and fries and stealing your boyfriend. Fun Fact: Though still a teenager, Rose has already gotten props from Spin.com for her song “Ride for My City,” which it called a “bass-heavy hometown-pride anthem.”

Round Three: Sat Feb 23

From: Tacoma. Sounds Like: The soundtrack to an eight-bit video game based on the Strokes. Fun Fact: With vintage fur coats, teased-up hair, glittery scarves, and skintight jeans, the Fame Riot are bringing back that Jesse Camp circa 1999 look without a hint of irony.

SHOGUN BARBIE

From: Tacoma. Sounds Like: A gritty burst of sonic confetti played by enthusiastic kids who really love Of Montreal but felt it needed a bit more of a punk rock edge. Fun Fact: Their song “Yes & No” has a bit of a RVIVR vibe to it, so of course I love it.

Round Two: Sat Feb16

THE FEMALE FIENDS

From: Kent. Sounds Like: They’d fit perfectly on a bill with the dynamic and architectural indie rock band Nude Pop, who just so happened to win Sound Off! last year. Fun Fact: When the Female Fiends found out that they made it to the semifinals, they “went a little crazy,” says singer Michael Yin. “It was kind of scary, actually. I think at one point, Ricky turned into an ape.”

MAIAH MANSER

From: Seattle. Sounds Like: Manser

AS IT STARTS

From: Bothell. Sounds Like: Piano-laden, dramatic indie rock with a trombonist. I vote all indie rock bands get a trombonist ASAP. Fun Fact: They’ve already released their first EP! It’s called What a Concept, and it’s available at asitstarts.bandcamp.com.

I FOR EYE

From: Gig Harbor. Sounds Like: Paramore. Fun Fact: I for Eye have already won one battle of the bands—last year, they took away the grand prize in the Boys & Girls Clubs of South Puget Sound’s competition.

THE ROCKETS

From: Bellingham. Sounds Like: The Monkees! The Beach Boys! The (early) Beatles! Total ’60s pop with mock turtlenecks and jangly guitar. Fun Fact: They sound like the Monkees—what else do you need?!

VERVEX

From: Bellingham. Sounds Like: Soft, uncomplicated pop that sounds as if it’s being played in a living room or in the woods or on a beach, depending on the song. Fun Fact: According to Vervex’s Facebook page, the band used to bring a live ram onstage during its shows, “Until that thing took somebody’s eye out.” I doubt it’s true, but let’s pretend it is. n

vervex Don’t be shy!

sun,

3rd

RICKY

BY ANNA MINARD

Anna Minard claims to “know nothing about music.” For this column, we force her to listen to random records by artists considered to be important by music nerds.

OPERATION IVY

Energy (Lookout)

My lovely coworker (and local DJ) Megan Seling gave me this Operation Ivy album a long time ago because the pie chart of her heart has an entire slice set aside just for them. When I told her this week that I was finally listening to Energy, she smiled the biggest smile I’ve ever seen, and I started to feel scared. What if I didn’t like it? What if I had to go back over to her desk and say, “Megan, this is terrible and it makes my ears hurt. I will never understand why you love this crap.” What if, after that, I could always detect under her polite smiles a tinge of disgust? WHAT IF OP IVY RUINED EVERYTHING?

And then I listened to it, and… ugh, I couldn’t stand it! I found myself making faces while I listened, the face you make when eating something gross. My sour

MY PHILOSOPHY

HIPHOP YA DON'T STOP

BY LARRY MIZELL JR.

CAM’RON AND NACHO PICASSO

What’s poppin’, boy-boys and girls? I mean, what’s really, really good? The good word is that Cameron Giles, the uptown don Cam’ron, is making his first (I believe) appearance in the Emerald City this week— Tuesday, February 12, at the Crocodile. There’s a huge following for Killa Cam here, which is understandable, seeing as Dipset is one of the most influential crews of this century so far. (Word to Wizdom’s old airbrushed “Don’t watch me, watch TV” shirt. AYE!) Now you have the entire A$AP clique trying to relive the Harlem Rap Renaissance that Killa brought to bear during their childhood, and failing to have even a skimpy eighth of the Dips’ slang and charisma. This is no lazy leaned-out fuckboy thug opera, nor any nice-guy rap written for children: Cam’ron represents some of hiphop’s starkest ignorance ever—that plenty of children came up on themselves, for better and for worse. But as Cam famously once said: “Man, fuck yo kids, man. Are you comin’ or not?”

Yeah, so it’s 2013, Dipset is in disrepair, and it’s not the show you daydreamed of seeing here back in the early 2000s featuring the whole crew—Juelz, Jim, Freekey, plus your assorted Byrd Gangsters, all decked out in Timbs or Uptowns, sporting logo-bedecked Jeff Hamilton jackets and voluminous sandblasted denim. Don’t forget the red bandannas and the OD dorag abuse. You can watch all that on your favorite (and jealously guarded) hood DVDs

music face and I walked around the city feeling bummed. Op Ivy were grating and kind of annoying, and I didn’t understand the point, because the lyrics didn’t sound like they were really deep or anything. They just sounded like “All I know is that I don’t know/All I know is that I don’t know nothin’,” which, come on.

Like always, I slogged my way through the album, and then when it ended, I started over, and I just kept going. And at some point, parts of it started to make sense. Rhythmic shouting! I love it! “Freeze Up” is so excellently staccato (“Just one political song!”), and so is “Bombshell.” I started to hear a little bit of that reggae/ska punk thing that I remember from listening to older punk, and then I started to hear how the dudes in the crappy pop-punk bands of my youth listened to these guys. Then I felt like the biggest and best music-understander ever. I knew what it must have felt like to listen to this in a teenage bedroom, and I got why it would have been fun.

I asked Megan a few questions about her Op Ivy love, and it made me love them more. She “bought their CD from a used CD store in Everett” when she was 15, “long after they broke up,” and she had an Op Ivy sticker on the back window of her first car. She said she loved them because they were “messy and loud and still catchy,” and when I asked her if she still loved them now, she said: “I do! I really, really do. They remind me why I loved music in the first place. It was energizing and comforting and it didn’t have to be perfect or even good, really, to mean something or say something.”

Awwwwwww.

I give this a “sometimes you just gotta keep trying” out of 10. ■

and YouTube clips. You know damn well, though, that Killa has at least a few hours of material that will make all in attendance yell as soon as they hear the first note. There could be no better opener for this show than Seattle’s own king of incorrectness, Nacho Picasso. When I interviewed Nacho last year, he told me just how much of a Killa Cam fan he was: “Yo, Cam and Mac Dre are my favorite rappers ever,” he said. “I try not to bite off people, but these are the only guys I related to. I just related more to their cockiness and their sense of humor. Cam, that’s a kindred soul.”

SYMPHONY

UNTUXED

Friday, February 15, at 7pm MOZART’S PIANO CONCERTO NO. 21

Ludovic Morlot, conductor / Cédric Tiberghien, piano

Come at 5:30pm for no host specialty drinks and small plates by Wolfgang Puck Catering. Plus, stay after the concert to mingle with Seattle Symphony musicians. TICKETS FROM: $17

Friday, February 15, at 10pm PIERROT LUNAIRE

Samuel & Althea Stroum Grand Lobby

Ludovic Morlot, conductor / Cyndia Sieden, soprano / Seattle Symphony musicians

Celebrate the 100th anniversary of Schoenberg’s groundbreaking Pierrot Lunaire at this late night concert that features Seattle Symphony musicians performing contemporary ensemble pieces in the Grand Lobby.

TICKETS: $17

Just don’t try to compare Killa to Jay-Z: “Me and my nigga actually really threw blows over them millionaires! And then, when Cam went to Roc-AFella, we were best friends. A few years ago,” he laughs, “we even went to the Jay-Z concert together! Everyone jumped on Cam with ‘Oh Boy,’ well I remember when this nigga was Cam’ron, like ‘Horse & Carriage’ era. Confessions of Fire came out when I was in middle school. I loved that one, ’cause he was still kinda weird. Those lines, they were the most disrespectful shit ever! Come Home with Me was his masterpiece, though. When Come Home with Me came out, I went crazy! I had the American flag do-rag, the rags with the matching jerseys and everything. I used to bag up crack for Jordan money, man, we all used to just bag up and listen to that album. Dipset is like the soundtrack to nickel-and-diming!” ■

Voluminous sandblasted denim at THESTRANGER.COM/MUSIC

Cam’ron

check

interviews by trent moorman

UUVVWWZ ARE OPEN TO SIGNS AND MUD

Tues Feb 12, Sunset Tavern, 8:30 pm, $6,

Does the desire to throw yourself around in a river and cake yourself in mud come from a deep-seated rung of DNA code that pings out on gray winter days when our skin is parched for sun? Or were we all once elephants? The weird kicked blues of Lincoln, Nebraska, quartet UUVVWWZ makes you want just that— mud, all over your body, thick and warm. Singer Teal Gardner calls assertively through distorted dissonance with a bright, strident Karen O register. UUVVWWZ is pronounced double U double V double W Z. In the single “Open Sign,” off their new Saddle Creek Records full-length the trusted language, Gardner stutters stridently and announces, “Arrival, arrival, arrival.” The song zooms out from David Ozinga’s drums. Jim Schroeder’s guitar and Dustin Wilbourn’s bass meld and bubble over into a whirlpool conclusion of discordant fizzling white noise. UUVVWWZ bring to mind the early-’80s zenith of Athens, Georgia, band Pylon. In the video for “Open Sign” there is mud. Lots and lots of mud. Teal Gardner and Jim Schroeder spoke. I was fully caked.

How did “Open Sign” happen as a song? It all builds to where you sing “Arrival.” And repeat it. What has arrived? The sign? What’s the sign?

Schroeder: I had the main riff, the one during the “arrival” part, sitting around for a year or two, and we couldn’t fit it into anything. A couple of weeks before we went into the studio, we shoved it against the verse part and went from there. We “finished” the song the night before our first day in the studio, which made the song a little more exciting.

Gardner: “Open Sign” is such an important song to me. It works to distill this organized chaos that makes up part of my thoughts on the perversion of public space in the US. It started with the idea of an OPEN sign—those neon red-and-blue signs that announce a shop being open for business. Stripped of context, the sign simply states “OPEN.” I chose to take “open” to mean receptive, engaged, interested, nonjudgmental, and even loving. Openness is a quality that I cherish and admire, and if spaces could declare themselves open for more than just business, well… [pauses]. Let’s consider this, how much of the space in Omaha is green space/park space? How much is business district? How much is strip mall? How much is parking lot? How much is road? When I think about the comparatively very small amount of space allotted for people to simply “be” in a relationship with the world, unmediated by relationships of trade, it is an astonishingly small area. Where did y’all record? Who produced? How were the sessions?

Schroeder: We first recorded bass and drums at ARC Studios in Omaha, with Ben

Brodin engineering and JJ Idt producing. After that, we moved to a basement in Omaha where we did vocals, guitars, and trickery with JJ engineering and producing. Finally, we went to Fuse recording studios in Lincoln, where we mixed down in the nude from the computer to tape, had a little dance of accomplishment, jumped off a couple loading docks, and tried to play hacky sack with a piece of trash. Whose idea was the mud for the video? Where was that filmed? Were y’all afraid the water would give you diseases?

Gardner: The mud wallow we used for the shooting is directly underneath the pedestrian bridge that connects Omaha to Council Bluffs, right on the banks of the Missouri River. I have to thank my friend Kjell Peterson for saving the day; he suggested we look at the riverbank when the other location I’d had in mind fell through. We were also lucky because the large dirt hill that appears at the beginning of the video was part of a new park being built on the riverfront on the Iowa side of the Missouri. We were the only people around, running up and down a dirt swath. It was extremely fun.

I brought some white clay that was a gift from my sculpture teacher, Santiago Cal. We put big chunks of that clay down in the dark brown mud so that there would be a contrast between the colors and textures of mud going on. Toward the end of the shooting, we all took off toward the river and washed the mud off, defying the common stay away from river attitude that Omaha has. Although the city was founded because of the river, there is virtually no river access from the city. Our actions were transgressive, and satisfying.

What’s your writing process? Do you have any superstitions? Like you have to be wearing your lucky forest-green Scooby-Doo socks when you record?

Schroeder: The worn path involves being fully clothed and playing guitar while Teal sings. Sometimes I have something prepared and occasionally Teal does. Then when we like it, we try to organize it, fail, bring it to Dave and Dustin, fail, and I play it over and over until it loses all meaning. And then success happens at some point. Some songs happen a little easier. “Charlotte’s List” from the new album was arranged on the computer program Reason. I sent the files over to Teal, and she recorded a vocal. JJ helped a lot with my tones on the album. He had a couple extra pedals and Ben let us borrow a tape delay.

What is Lincoln, Nebraska, like?

Gardner: Lincoln. Lincoln. Lincoln. There is such a supportive and weird scene here. Come be here, there are people here working to make things be better. Music and art and anything else need weird dreamers. We have coffee.

What is some music out of Lincoln we should be checking out?

Schroeder: There are a lot of great bands in Lincoln. The Renfields, Touch People, Green Trees, Dads, Ron Wax, Powerful Science, to name a few. Dave is in another band called Shipbuilding Co. that’s great. Oh, and Brother’s Family Temple and Fuchsia Minutiae. And as long as we’re shoutin’ out, how about the Duke of the Hazardous Waste Pool, Plack Blague, Vickers. There are too many to name. Where does the name of your band come from? Whoever came up with “Duhb-uhl-yoo-duhb-uhl-vee-duhb-uhlduhb-uhl-yoo-zee” wins.

Schroeder: I guess I came up with it. It’s truly a burden, and I would like to take this time to apologize… n

WALTZ, TAP, LINDY HOP, HIP HOP, SALSA, TANGO, WEST COAST SWING, EAST COAST SWING, BACHATA, WALTZ, TAP, LINDY HOP, HIP HOP, SALSA, TANGO, WEST COAST SWING, EAST COAST SWING, BACHATA, WALTZ, TAP, LINDY HOP, HIP HOP, SALSA, TANGO, WEST COAST SWING, EAST COAST SWING, BACHATA, WALTZ, TAP, LINDY HOP, HIP HOP, SALSA, TANGO, WEST COAST SWING, EAST COAST SWING, BACHATA, WALTZ, TAP, LINDY HOP, HIP HOP, SALSA, TANGO, WEST COAST SWING, EAST COAST SWING, BACHATA, WALTZ, TAP, LINDY HOP, HIP HOP, SALSA, TANGO, WEST COAST SWING, EAST COAST SWING, BACHATA, WALTZ, TAP, LINDY HOP, HIP HOP, SALSA, TANGO, WEST COAST SWING, EAST COAST SWING, BACHATA, WALTZ, TAP, LINDY HOP

UUVVWWZ

UP&COMING

Lose your pineapple-flavored tropi-pop every night this week!

For the full music calendar, see page 47 or visit thestranger.com/music

For ticket on-sale announcements, follow twitter.com/seashows

Wednesday 2/6

Ghost Mice, Your Heart Breaks, Theo Grizol, Living Rheum (Heartland) See Underage, page 53.

Shelter: Pyschemagik, Slowpoke DJs, Trouble (Q) See Data Breaker, page 51.

Adam Green & Binki Shapiro (Barboza) Adam Green (ex–Moldy Peaches) and Binki Shapiro (ex–Little Joy) recently paired up to make an album of duets that project a sweet and civilized chemistry. Their arrangements showcase the duo’s charming vocals (Shapiro’s crystalline croon, Green’s peppery baritone) and ability to channel the likes of Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood. Tales of heartbreak—though written tongue-in-cheek enough to avoid being a bummer—lilt along in an assured ’60s-pop style, carefully reflecting on the messy components of love and breaking up. After they spill it all out, it’s hard not to think that they should just forget those failed relationships and date each other already! EMILY NOKES

Thursday 2/7

JK Pop!: Atasha Manila (Barboza) See Stranger Suggests, page 21.

Motor: Bankie Phones, Airport, Crystal Hell Pool, Xua, DJ Slow, Jon Carr (Electric Tea Garden) See Data Breaker, page 51.

Soundgarden (Paramount) Soundgarden do not fuck around. After rising to the tippy-top of the American hard-rock heap in the mid-’90s, the band stopped having fun and called it quits in 1997. A decade and a half later, Soundgarden decided to rev up again, and from its first notes, the new King Animal announces itself as a sibling to Superunknown. Steeped in the great tradition of melodic headbanging rock for nonstupid people, these are songs that sound great on first listen. And they’ll mix perfectly well with the many grunge-era classics the band is sure to dish out tonight (and tomorrow). DAVID SCHMADER

Juan de Marcos and the Afro-Cuban All Stars (Jazz Alley) Composer/bandleader Juan de Marcos González, along with Ry Cooder and other musicians, reintroduced the erotic beauty of classical Cuban jazz to the United States and Europe with the album Buena Vista Social Club, which was released in 1997. In the summer of 1999, the year Wim Wenders’s documentary of the same name entered theaters, I found myself looking for a party in Linz, Austria, at around 4 a.m. I finally found that party after 5 a.m. It was in a loft on the second floor of a building in the west part of the small city. The sun was brightening the sky as I walked up the stairs and entered the loft. People, however, were no longer partying but sleeping, snoring, and dreaming on couches and the floor. But the bar was still open—one man was serving and another one drinking. The stereo behind the bar was playing the first tune on Buena Vista Social Club, “Chan Chan.”

I sat at the bar, ordered a glass of wine, and, while drinking, listened to the sex, sorrow, and sun that slowly flowed out of the speaker. Cubans know

Cubans know how to make music. CHARLES MUDEDE

Charms, Chastity Belt, Week of Wonders, Shogun Barbie

(Chop Suey) The pineapple-flavored tropi-pop of Week of Wonders is exactly what my ears needed in order to tell my brain that summer is a real concept. Somewhere the sun is shining—people might even be getting sunburns! Featuring ex–Orca Team and Torn ACLs members, Week of Wonders spill reverbed-out vocals and glittery guitar over a constant conga-line beat—you could swish your hips in a grass skirt to this, no problem. Speaking of hipswishing, the very danceable Chastity Belt will also be there to keep you warm with their catchy-asfuck, angst-laced jams. EMILY NOKES

Seattle Improvised Music Festival

(Chapel Performance Space) At 27 years old, this boasts of being the longest-running festival of its kind in North America. Performers come from Seattle, Tokyo, Berlin, British Columbia, Philadelphia, Portland, and elsewhere, and even they do not know what is going to happen before it does. Through February 9. JEN GRAVES

Friday 2/8

Soundgarden (Paramount) See Thursday.

White Murder, Red Liquid, Sioux City Pete and the Beggars, Murder in the Wood (Black Lodge) See Underage, page 53.

OM, Sir Richard Bishop (Highline) I know you’re not going to believe this, but one of the year’s best shows is going to happen at a vegan bistro/bar. Bay Area trio OM have morphed from theosophical doom-metal minimalists to theosophical psych-drone minimalists boosted by an uncorny Eastern mysticism. They’re so heavy, they’re featherlight. Ain’t nobody like ’em. Master guitarist Sir Richard Bishop is a national treasure whose sound is international. He’s revivified the ye olde American baroque-folk convolutions of John Fahey and his acolytes, but his 10 dexterous, articulate digits speak fluently in Arabic, Central European, North African, spaghetti western, raga, drone, and other modes, too. Experienc-

2.8 Friday (hip hop) gIFt oF gaB

tHeoretIcS

Nu Era, Double B, B. Durrazo

$10 adv. / $12 D.O.S. / 8pm / 21+

2.9 Saturday (Reggae/Dancehall)

Culture Yard Presents: Bob Marley’s Birthday Celebration w/ tHe eXPaNDerS

WINStoN Jarrett

Unite One, The Crucialites, Danny Ital, w/ Selecta Raiford

$10 adv / 8pm / 21+

2.10 Sunday (jam/funk/jazz)

SPace oWL plays the Dead Quantonium, Fruit & Vegetable

$5 adv / $7 dos / 8pm / 21+

2.12 FAT Tuesday (Brass/Funk Party)

MarDI graS SPectacuLar feat

YogoMaN BurNINg BaND Tracorum, TUBALUBA

$6 adv / $8 dos / 8pm / 21+

2.14 Thursday (Latin/Salsa)

Nectar and Solidsound present: DIA DE AMOR (Latin Valentines Day Celebration) featuring: corDaVIVa

SI LIMoN

Manos Arriba! Vs. Last Nights, Mixtape, (DJ’s Chilly, Darwin, Tang, and Toast)

$6 adv / 8pm / 21+

how to make love;

ing the fluidity, beauty, and inventiveness of Bishop’s playing is spiritually revelatory. DAVE SEGAL See also Stranger Suggests, page 21.

Kay Kay and His Weathered Underground, Cascadia ’10, Emerald City Soul Club (Columbia City Theater) By now a Seattle institution, Kay Kay and His Weathered Underground are a sprawling ensemble that finesse a grandiloquent psychedelic pop that sounds like Van Dyke Parks conducting the Polyphonic Spree—but with more soul. It’s overachieving glee in motion. Another large local unit, Cascadia ’10 carry Fela Kuti’s unfuckwithable Afrobeat torch with bravado, transporting you to Lagos circa 1975 with roiling funk beats, snaky bass lines, and celebratory horn charts. Finally, the seasoned DJs of Emerald City Soul Club know more about old soul 45s than your dad, and they spin the great rare ones that often cost more than your monthly drug budget. DAVE SEGAL

Saturday 2/9

Unnatural Helpers, La Luz, Lonesome Shack (20/20 Cycle) See preview, page 35.

Matt Carlson, Panabrite, Secret Colors (Cairo) See Underage, page 53, and Data Breaker, page 51.

Sound Off! Semifinals, Round 1 (EMP) See preview, page 38.

Dancing on the Valentine: Adra Boo, Daniel G. Harmann & the Trouble Starts, Erik Blood, Fox and the Law, Head Like a Kite, Panama Gold, more (Neumos) Dancing on the Valentine has become a wonderful annual tradition, gracefully put together by local candy heart Jenny George. She beat leukemia several years ago (kicked its ass, really), and now every year for her birthday she throws a big ol’ party to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. This year, the event will celebrate the music of the Cure—swoon!—and the impressive lineup will include performances from Adra Boo of Fly Moon Royalty, Daniel G. Harmann & the Trouble Starts, Erik Blood, Fox and the Law, Head Like a Kite, Lesli Wood, Vox Mod, and more. Tease up your hair, smear some eyeliner down your face, and come get weird. MEGAN SELING

Thao & the Get Down Stay Down

(Sonic Boom) I hate the term “girl crush,” because who gives a shit if, as a woman, your crush is on a girl or a boy? That said, I have a total no-pronoun-necessary crush on multi-instrumentalist Thao Nguyen of Thao & the Get Down Stay Down. She is at once folk, punk, feminine, and badass. She has collaborated with Mirah and the Portland Cello Project, and she totally nailed a cover of “Push It” with Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein as her backup band. Be my best friend, okay, Thao? We can make cupcakes and listen to records, and it’ll be like an episode of Girls but without the insufferable conversation and constant bad decisions. MEGAN SELING

Sunday 2/10

Hot Water Music

(Showbox at the Market) When I say, “I fucking love Hot Water Music!” what I really mean to say is “I fucking love Hot Water Music’s first six albums and even a little bit of Caution, but because their music means so much to me on a personal level—seriously—I haven’t been able to bring myself to listen to their post-re-

union record Exister, because if it sucks, it will ruin my heart.” So when I wholeheartedly recommend you go to this show and we crowd toward the stage and sing along to their gritty, anthemic rock with our fists in the air, just know I’m saying that under the guise that their new music doesn’t exist and it’ll be like seeing them circa 2000, before they broke up. It won’t be, of course, but for the sake of my heart, let’s pretend that it is. MEGAN SELING

Ononos, Stickers, Haunted Horses (Cha Cha) Ononos were recently featured at a lightinstallation art festival called Onn/Of. Somehow, and very unusually, there were several formally trained dancers near the stage area when the band started playing. As if dictated by something otherworldly—something beyond individual control— these dancers collectively started doing a strange and jaunty ballet. Confusion registered on their faces, but their bodies stayed in motion. If you’ve yet to bear witness to Ononos’s mystical multimedia spectacle, then this is your chance to do it, and to do it for free in a creepy red-lit dungeon of a basement bar. Maybe bring a flashlight. KELLY O

Monday 2/11

Enslaved, Pallbearer, Royal Thunder, Ancient Wisdom (Highline) If the idea of “progressive Viking metal” doesn’t intrigue you, stop reading this blurb now, Philistine. If it does, rejoice in the coming of Norway’s Enslaved, who’ve been forging a particularly extravagant, chilling, and smart strain of metal since 1991. Enslaved’s sound has evolved into something pretty dang symphonic and prog-rock-like on their 2012 album RIITIIR, but vocalist Grutle Kjellson still sounds like he’s gargling Beelzebub’s jizz when he sings certain passages, so all is well with the world. DAVE SEGAL

Tuesday 2/13

UUVVWWZ (Sunset) See Sound Check, page 43.

Tomahawk, Retox (Showbox at the Market) No getting around it: Tomahawk are a muzzafunkin’ supergroup. Any lineup with mad vocal acrobat Mike Patton, caustic, incisive guitarist Duane Denison, powerful drum deity John Stanier, and Mr. Bungle/Secret Chiefs 3/Melvins bassist Trevor Dunn is going to induce a certain amount of awe among people who appreciate savage virtuosity. But Tomahawk’s new album, Oddfellows, only their fourth in a dozen years, is, uh, oddly underwhelming. Not to imply these songs suck or anything, but the players don’t seem to be even close to pushing themselves to the extent of their formidable abilities. The result is mildly quirky art rock with somewhat heavy undertones and few songs that stick in your mind after they fade out.

DAVE SEGAL

Marilyn Manson, Butcher Babies (Showbox Sodo) Don’t even pretend like you don’t still have a sliver of interest in your heart for old Brian Hugh Warner, aka Marilyn Manson—the latex anathema responsible for terror-stricken parents of the ’90s, censorship pandemonium, and the entire detention room’s bad makeup choices. Besides, there’s something kind of entertaining about his whole fetished-out freak show that’s essentially just mainstream pop music in a black-and-red package instead of whatever color Britney Spears’s package was (hot pink and boob?). Plus, you gotta feel for the guy—maybe he doesn’t even like this shit anymore! At least your Hot Topic phase quietly made way for new and better fads—Mans has to wake up and do the whole glam-corpse thing every day.

EMILY NOKES

Cam’ron, Nacho Picasso (Crocodile) Has Harlem’s floor-length-fur-coatwearing, Jay-Z/50-Cent-dissing, former-pink-RangeRover-driving Killa Cam—platinum album selling rapper and founder of both the UN and the Diplomats, aka Dipset—EVER BEEN TO SEATTLE? I’m serious—has his royal Killa-ness ever played here? I think not! Will Seattle be able to handle such an esteemed East Coast heavy? Maybe. And only if perfectly booked opener Nacho Picasso gets the room warmed up right first. KELLY O See also My Philosophy, page 41.

CLUB NIGHTS

PALPABLE SCARE-SCAPES

DRUNK OF THE WEEK …BELOW THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA …49 DATA BREAKER …51 UNDERAGE…53 POSTER OF THE WEEK …53

WED 2/6

88 KEYS Blues On Tap, 8

BARBOZA Adam Green & Binki Shapiro, 8 pm, $13 CONOR BYRNE Broomdust Blues Jam, free COPPER GATE Rick Mandyk, John Bishop, Paul Gabrielson, 8 pm EL CORAZON The Goddamn

Devil, Reverend Bear, Box, Spencer Carlson, 7:30 pm, $8/$10

H a HEARTLAND Ghost

Mice, Your Heart Breaks, Theo Grizol, Living Rheum

HIGHWAY 99 Drummer Boy: Billy Stoops, Alice Stuart, 8 pm, $7

JAZZ ALLEY 3 Brave Souls: John Beasley, Darryl Jones, Ronald Bruner Jr., 7:30 pm, $5 for members/$20.50 for general public

KELL’S Liam Gallagher

a NECTAR Jordan Lake, Jesse Morrow, San Juan, $5/$7

NEW ORLEANS Legacy Band, Clarence Acox

PINK DOOR Casey MacGill & the Blue 4 Trio, 8 pm

RENDEZVOUS Kite Repair, Tape Stacks, Chris Jarski

a STUDIO SEVEN Emile Autumn, guests, 7 pm, $15/$17

TRACTOR TAVERN Alice in the River, Day Laborers and Petty Intellectuals, guests, 8 pm, $6

TRIPLE DOOR

Musicquarium: SNAKE—A Chinese New Year Celebration: Guests, 7 pm, $28; Rippin Chicken, 8:30 pm, free

TULA’S Curt Berg, Jay Thomas, John Hansen, Chris Symer, Jarred Katz, 7:30 pm, $5

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Ben Von Wildenhaus

DJ

BALTIC ROOM Reverb: DJ Rome, Rozzville, Zooty B, Antartic

CAPITOL CLUB Roll

Bounce: Dash EXP, 10 pm, free

CENTURY BALLROOM DJ Freedie, DJ Alison

CONTOUR Launch: Guest

DJs, free

THE EAGLE VJDJ Andy J

ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN

Passage: Jayms Nylon, Joey Webb, guests

FOUNDATION Butch Clancy, Schoolboy, Sir Kutz, Aaron Simpson, Keano, $10

a HALO Bachata: DJ Alison, 9 pm, $4

HAVANA SoulShift: Peter Evans, Devlin Jenkins, Richard Everhard, $1 MOE BAR The Hump: DJ Darwin, DJ Swervewon, guests, 10:30 pm, free

NEIGHBOURS Undergrad: Guest DJs, 18+, $5/$8

H Q NIGHTCLUB Pyschemagik, Slowpoke DJs, Trouble, Shelter, 9 pm, free

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Fade: DJ Chinkyeye, DJ Christyle, 10 pm

THURS 2/7

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Little Sister, the Bad Light, guests

BARÇA Clark Gibson Trio, free BLUE MOON TAVERN

The Charles Wickerlander Band, Silky Sam, Buffalo Stagecoach

CAFE RACER Operadisiacs

H CAN CAN Vince Mira

H CHAPEL PERFORMANCE

SPACE Seattle Improvised Music Festival: LaDonna

WHO NEEDS THE SEAHAWKS… W

hen we have Team Mudhoney? See, nobody in Seattle really cared about the Super Bowl this past weekend—it was all about the sold-out Mudhoney and Sonics show at the Showbox at the Market. We’re not a city made of sports—we’re made of grunge! I asked these two girls who were pounding beer and headbanging nonstop through the entire show, and they agreed. Mudhoney: 1. Seattle Seahawks: 0. KELLY O

Smith, Amy Denio, Beth Fleenor, Paul Hoskin, Tucker

Dulin, Greg Powers, Wayne Horvitz, guests, 8 pm

H CHOP SUEY Charms, Chastity Belt, Week of Wonders, Showgun Barbie, 7 pm, $7

COLUMBIA CITY THEATER

Benjamin Francis Leftwich, Lanford Black, Ben Fisher, 8 pm, $10/$12

CONOR BYRNE Natalie Quist, Smith’s Cloud, Leah Bakst, $7

COPPER GATE Fu Kun Wu Trio, 8 pm, free a CROCODILE Natural Vibrations, 8 pm

EGAN’S JAM HOUSE Jacob Zimmerman and His Quintet, 7 pm, $6/$10; Honey Noble, Katie Jacobson, Chris Icasiano, Abbey Blackwell, 9 pm a EL CORAZON Amanda Markley, Terranova, Andrea Desmond, Jess Lambert, Melia Dudgeon, 7:30 pm, $8/$10

HIGH DIVE Death By Stars, the Twitch, Yevtushenko, $6

HIGHLINE The Xploding Boys, Still Falling, DJ Coldheart

H a JAZZ ALLEY Juan de Marcos and the Afro-Cuban All Stars, 7:30 pm, $35

KELL’S Liam Gallagher

LUCID The Hang: Caffeine, 9:30 pm, free

NECTAR Kelly Castle Scott, Tulsi, Madly In Dub, DJ Limerence, guests, 8 pm, free

OWL N’ THISTLE Danny

Godinez

H a PARAMOUNT

THEATER Soundgarden, 8 pm, $66.75

PINK DOOR Bric-a-Brac,

8 pm

Q NIGHTCLUB Front Street, 9 pm, free

H RENDEZVOUS The Pharmacy, Finn Riggins, Roaming Herds of Buffalo

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Simon The Leper, Poor Folks Live Well, 8 pm, $5

a STUDIO SEVEN Verah Falls, guests, 7 pm, $8/$10

H SUNSET TAVERN Blooper, Detective Agency, Zebra

Hunt, $6

a TOWN HALL Jennifer Koh, 7:30 pm, $10/$25

TRACTOR TAVERN Colt

Kraft Band, Jack Wilson Jason Dodson, Susie Philipsen, $6

TRIPLE DOOR

Musicquarium: Gregg Belisle-Chi Trio, free

TULA’S Clave Gringa, 7:30 pm, $10

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Jennifer Kienzle and Friends, Grace Love

THE WHITE RABBIT Marmalade, $6

DJ

BALLROOM DJ Rob, free

H BARBOZA JKPOP!: DJ Bishie, DJ HoJo, Atasha Manila, $3

CAPITOL CLUB Citrus: DJ Skiddle

CENTURY BALLROOM

DJ Edgar

CONTOUR Bottom Heavy: DirtyBirds, Wekyote, SeaNick, free

THE EAGLE Nasty: DJ King of Pants, Nark

ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN

Everything Electric: AJ Sorbello, Ramiro, Sean Imagina, Iris, $5-$10

H HAVANA Sophisticated

Mama: DJ Sad Bastard, DJ

Nitty Gritty

LO-FI London Loves: Guest

DJs, 9 pm, $3

H MOE BAR What’s Good: THEESatisfaction (DJ set), Ruben Mendez, Lacey Swain, Blake Kirpes, 6 pm, free

NEIGHBOURS Jet Set

Thursdays: Guest DJs

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND The

Unparalleled acts featuring creative blends of modern dance, acrobatics, contortionism, circus and classic dance - Mark Baumgarten, City Arts Magazine

WED/FEBRUARY 6 • 7PM snake – a chinese new year celebration

FRI/FEBRUARY 8 • 7PM nicki bluhm & the gramblers w/ brothers comatose

SAT/FEBRUARY 9 • 7PM & 10PM shawn mullins w/ max gomez

MON/FEBRUARY 11 • 7:30PM hot tuna - acoustic

WED/FEB 13 • 7PM & 9:30PM victor wooten

THU/FEBRUARY 14SAT/FEBRUARY 16 • 7PM & 10PM the atomic bombshells “j’adore! a burlesque valentine”

SUN/FEBRUARY 17 • 7PM NU BLACK ARTS WEST THEATRE PRESENTS: dark divas

Lowdown: DJ Lightray, $3

Q NIGHTCLUB Front Street, 9 pm, free

H SEE SOUND LOUNGE

DAMN $ON: Tony Goods, Jameson Just

TRINITY Cobra Crew, DJ Tre, Chinky Eye, Guy, MC McClarron, free

FRI 2/8

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Dead Language, Blackbeatblue People Tank

H BLACK LODGE White Murder, Red Liquid, Sioux City Pete & the Beggars, Murder in the Wood

BLUE MOON TAVERN Amelia Circle, the Heyfields, Hellbelly

CENTRAL SALOON Sleepy Pilot, Gumshen, Safeword Sasquatch, 9 pm, free

H a CHAPEL

PERFORMANCE SPACE

Improvised Music Festival: Tucker Dulin, Gust Burns, Mark Collins, Craig Taborn, Mark Ostrowski, guests, 8 pm

CHOP SUEY Kultur Shock, $12

H COLUMBIA CITY

THEATER Kay Kay and His Weathered Underground, the Emerald City Soul Club, Cascadia ‘10, 8:30 pm, $10/$12

COMET Furniture Girls, C-Leb & the Kettle Black, Nouela, the Valley, 9 pm, $8

CONOR BYRNE Royal Wolfe, Kimo Muraki, Be Honest, Ruth Bryan, $7

DARRELL’S TAVERN The Gum, Paul Lynde Fan Club, the Guardians, $6

EGAN’S JAM HOUSE David Arteaga, Hans Brehmer, Geoff Cooke, Steve Yusen, guests, 7 pm, $10; Steff Kayser and Christopher Brant Anderson, 9 pm, $10

a EL CORAZON As Artifacts, A Holy Ghost Revival, Seize the Sun, Bioplague, A Taste of Daylight, 7:30 pm, $8/$10

EMERALD QUEEN CASINO Keith Sweat, 8:30 pm

a EMPTY SEA STUDIOS Lindsay Lou & the Flatbellys, 8 pm, $18/$22

H a HEARTLAND Heatwarmer, Pregnant, Mason Lindahl, 8 pm

HIGH DIVE Just C.O.S. & King Bishop B.A.R.S. with L.A.C.O.S.A. News Team, Petty P, Soul the Interrogator, Jaxx, Krisis, guests, 8 pm, $7/$10

H HIGHLINE OM, Sir Richard Bishop, guests HIGHWAY 99 Doctorfunk

HUGO HOUSE Hugo Literary Series: Strong Female Leads: 7:30 pm, $15-$25

H a JAZZ ALLEY Juan de Marcos and the Afro-Cuban All Stars, 7:30 pm, $35

NECTAR Gift of Gab, Theoretics, Nu Era, Double B, B. Durazo, 8 pm, $10/$12

NEPTUNE THEATER Ra Ra Riot

H a PARAMOUNT THEATER Soundgarden, 8 pm, $66.75

a PONCHO CONCERT

HALL Seattle Modern Orchestra: Delirious Serialism, 8 pm, $10/$20 a THE ROYAL ROOM Piano Royale, 5:30 pm

SEAMONSTER Funky 2 Death, 10 pm, free SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Led Zepagain

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Certain Inertia, Fellow Traveler, the Awfully Sudden Death Of Martha G, 8 pm, $5

SLIM’S LAST CHANCE Big Wheel Stunt Show, Hard Money Saints

H a SONIC BOOM RECORDS (BALLARD) Thao & the Get Down Stay Down, 6 pm, free SUNSET TAVERN Wake Owl, Andy Shauf, guests, 8:30 pm, $8

TRACTOR TAVERN Josiah

Johnson & Charity Rose Thielen, Smokey Brights, River Giant, 9:30 pm, $25

TRIPLE DOOR Nicki Bluhm & The Gamblers, 7 pm, $15; Musicquarium: Tony Holiday Band, 9 pm, free

TULA’S Kelley Johnson Quartet, 7:30 pm, $15

VICTORY LOUNGE Numb, Lb!, Oops, I Stepped in Some Christ, the Vatican, $6

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Casey MacGill

THE WHITE RABBIT Shedu,

THURSDAY 2/7

WADS OF GAY, A TOUCH OF GRIT

WE ARE TAKING A BREAK, GOD DAMN IT. From drag queens. DRAG QUEENS! They’re everywhere! Day and night! Breakfast, lunch, and dinner! We’ve been just a wee bit fucking inundated lately, haven’t we just? Jinkx Monsoons up to our phony D cups! Ben DeLaCremes coming out our plucked and powdered noses! Not that I’m complaining—it’s a glittery problem to have. But even too much of a good thing is too much of a good thing, and everyone deserves a break today. (Take some time and get away—from the drag queens! They do it all for you…) So tonight I want you to put Sylvia and Mama Tits and Aleksa Manila

Shack

Good Men and Thorough, Swords for Arrows, $6

DJ

BALLROOM DJ Tamm of KISS fm

BALMAR Body Movin’ Fridays: DJ Ben Meadow, free

BALTIC ROOM Bump

Fridays: Guest DJs

BARBOZA Just Got Paid: 100proof, $5 after 11:30 pm

CENTURY BALLROOM

Century Tango: DJ Andrew Brown, DJ Cebrina, DJ Anton, 9 pm, $10

CONTOUR Lucifer’s Lounge: Brishan, Joe, $5, Afterhours, 2 am

CROCODILE Sub Frequency: Griz, PressHa, Physix, 18+, 8 pm, $12-$15

CUFF C&W Dancing: DJ Harmonix, DJ Stacey, 7 pm; TGIF: Guest DJs, 11 pm, $5

THE EAGLE Bareback: DJ Kingofpants

FOUNDATION Stafford Brothers, Bgeezy, Jame$Ervin, Fierro

FUEL DJ Headache, guests

a HALO All Ages Salsa Dance: DJ Cebrina, 9 pm, $7

HAVANA Rotating DJs: DV One, Soul One, Curtis, Nostalgia B, Sean Cee, $5

NEIGHBOURS The Ultimate Dance Party: DJ Richard Dalton, DJ Skiddle

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND Caliente Celebra: DJ Polo, Efren

PONY Hussler: Guests, free

H Q NIGHTCLUB Trouble: Justin Miller, DJ F.I.T.S., free before 10 pm/$10 after SCARLET TREE Oh So Fresh Fridays: Deejay Tone, DJ Buttnaked, guests

TRINITY Tyler, DJ Phase, Jerry Wang, Mikey McClarron, Kippy, $10

H WILDROSE Lezbro: L.A. Kendall, Tony Burns, 9 pm, $3

THE WOODS Deep/Funky/ Disco/House: Guest DJs SAT 2/9

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Krooks to Kings, guests

H a 20/20 CYCLE Unnatural Helpers, La Luz, Lonesome

BLACK LODGE Vassafor, Knelt Rote, Radioactive Vomit, Anhedonist

BLUE MOON TAVERN

Meekin Pop, Men Martians & Machines, Subways on the Sun

CAFE RACER North End Jazz Quintet

H a CAIRO Matt Carlson, Panabrite, Secret Colors, 8 pm a CHAPEL PERFORMANCE

SPACE Improvised Music Festival: LaDonna Smith, Tari Nelson, Greg Campbell, Monica Schley, 8 pm

H COLUMBIA CITY

THEATER Eighteen Individual Eyes, Wimps, Let’s Get Lost, $8/$10

H COMET Boss Martians, Boats!, the Piniellas Atomic Bride

CONOR BYRNE Caleb Klauder Country Band, Country Dave and His Pickin’ Crew, $10

a CROCODILE The Wood Brothers, Seth Walker, 8 pm, $20

DARRELL’S TAVERN Soul Finger, Swindler, $5

EGAN’S JAM HOUSE Downright, 7 pm, $12; Couple-a-Couples, 9 pm, $10

a EL CORAZON Monsters

Scare You!, Keeping Secrets, Sky Pilot, Reach for the Sky, Osatia, We the Audience, 6:30 pm, $10/$12

H a EMP Sound Off! Semi-

Finals #1: Dave B, Mister Mista, the Fame Riot, Shogun Barbie, 7 pm, $8/$12

a EMPTY SEA STUDIOS

Impossible Bird, Nick Drummond, Tyler Carson, 8 pm, $17/$20

GALLERY 1412 Improvised Music Festival: Craig Taborn, Gust Burns, 1 pm

H a HEARTLAND WAMu, Bad Luck, Bat, 9 pm

HIGH DIVE Blackline, the Adarna, Prelude to a Pistol, 9:30 pm, $7

HIGHWAY 99 Hot Wired

Rhythm Band

H a JAZZ ALLEY Juan de Marcos and the Afro-Cuban All Stars, 7:30 pm, $35

NECTAR The Expanders, Natural Heights, Unite One, Danny Ital, Selecta Raiford, 8 pm, $10

and DonnaTella and Ursula Major and all the rest of ’em on the shelf for a minute (if you can dare bring yourself to do it), and turn your weeping brown eyes upon this thing instead: GayWad! A hardcore queer punk rock sex nightmare of intensity and pitch. (Please note! I’m not, like, saying that drag queens aren’t allowed or anything stupid like that, and I certainly can’t promise that none will be there, so don’t be absurd.) The event features some of the best of some of the best: the subtle and coy riot-grrrl musical stylings of Fucking Dyke Bitches, for example. Or the happy hardcore sickness that is DJ Porq, or that carnival of queer that is DJs Amateur Youth and FistFight. Plus, it’s an important sort of a thing, as all the money goes to support ’Mo-Wave, the new queer arts festival you’ve been hearing so much about. Let’s dump the glittery glitter for one night and embrace a touch of gritty grit. Wildrose, 8 pm, $5–$10 donation, 21+.

SATURDAY 2/9

BACONY S&M

(Psst! Okay, now I know I said we were going to take a break from drag queens, so I am definitely not going to remind you that tonight is Bacon Strip—the second one at Chop Suey, in fact—and that the theme is Master and Servant, so please don’t expect me to. Gol.) Chop Suey, 10 pm, $10 adv/$15 DOS, 21+.

The Can Can is a unique phenomenon in Seattle, and maybe in the country - Brendan Kiley, The Stranger

RESERVE THE TROPHY ROOM FOR YOUR NEXT EVENT

COCKTAILS • TASTY HOT DOGS LOTSA PINBALL • FROSTY BEER 2222 2ND AVENUE • SEATTLE

BETWEEN BELL AND BLANCHARD

9

FRIDAY FEBRUARY 15 | 7:30 PM

AYRON JONES & THE WAY BEN UNION, SCHOOL OF ROCK

$9 ($8 W. CLUB CARD) ADVANCE

SUNDAY FEBRUARY 24 | 7:30 PM CON BRO CHILL WALLPAPER

$11 ($10 W. CLUB CARD) DOORS

WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 27 | 7:30 PM

RADICAL SOMETHING, PLUS GUESTS

$11 ($10 W. CLUB CARD)

SUNDAY MARCH 3 | 7;30 PM

SAID THE WHALE

$11 ($10 W. CLUB CARD) ADVANCE

TUESDAY MARCH 5 | 7:30 PM

DARWIN DEEZ CAGED ANIMALS

$11 ($10 W. CLUB CARD)

FRIDAY MARCH 8 | 7:30 PM

MARCUS FOSTER, SEAN ROWE, RUSTON KELLY

$16 ($15 W. CLUB CARD)

BY ADRIAN RYAN

(ALL

$8

(ALL

$8

$8 ADV / $10 DOS Doors at 7:00pm, Show at 7:30pm

SATURDAY FEBRUARY 10TH

(ALL AGES/BAR W/ID) AFTERWORDS

KING THE KID, HOME ALONE, JENNY’S LAST STAND, STEVEN CURTIS

$8 ADV / $10 DOS Doors at 7:00pm, Show at 7:30pm

TUESDAY FEBRUARY 12TH

(ALL AGES/BAR W/ID)

KISW (99.9 FM) Metal Shop & El Corazon Present: SABATON LAST BASTION, BEYOND THEORY, THE ABSENT LIGHT, PLUS GUESTS

$13 ADV / $15 DOS / $40 VIP Doors at 7:00pm, Show at 7:30pm

WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 13TH

(ALL AGES/BAR W/ID) Mike Thrasher Presents: EVERY TIME I DIE THE ACACIA STRAIN, VANNA, HUNDREDTH, NO BRAGGING RIGHTS

$17 ADV / $20 DOS Doors at 6:00pm, Show at 7:00pm THURSDAY FEBRUARY 14TH

(ALL AGES/BAR W/ID) Electric Dynasty Entertainment Presents “My Bloody Valentine” featuring:

$15

★ NEUMOS Dancing on the Valentine: Adra Boo, Daniel

G. Harmann & the Trouble Starts, Erik Blood, Fox and the Law, Head Like a Kite, Panama Gold, guests, 8 pm, $15

a QUEEN ANNE CHRISTIAN CHURCH Schubertiade, 7:30 pm, $15-$30

QUEEN CITY GRILL Faith

Beattie, Bayly, Totusek, Guity, free

★ RENDEZVOUS Lozen, Brokaw, Bitches Crystal, 10 pm

a THE ROYAL ROOM Piano Royale, 6 pm

SEAMONSTER Porkchop Express, Every 10 pm, free

SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Super Diamond

SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB Laguna, Summer Aviation, 8 pm, $7

SLIM’S LAST CHANCE The Bend, Hondo II, Underwater

Tiger

a STUDIO SEVEN Kill Closet, Coven, Hate Fist, Blood & Thunder, 7:30 pm, $8/$10

SUNSET TAVERN Gems, Invisible Shivers, the Lower 48, $6

TOWN HALL Whozyamama, 1 pm

TRACTOR TAVERN Elridge Gravy & the Court Supreme, the Jefferson Rose Band, Scott Pemberton, 9:30 pm, $10/$12

TRIPLE DOOR Shawn Mullins, Max Gomez, 7 pm, $25/$32; Musicquarium: 4 outta 5, 9 pm, free

TULA’S Susan Pascal Quartet, Chuck Deardorf, Bill Anschell, Mark Ivester, 7:30 pm, $15

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Ruby Bishop, 6 pm

THE WHITE RABBIT P2B, Magnetic Circus, Yuni In

Taxco, $6

DJ

BALLROOM DJ Warren

BALTIC ROOM Good Saturdays: Guest DJs

★ BARBOZA Inferno: The Flavr Blue, DJ Swervewon, DJ WD4D, 10:30 pm, free before 11:30 pm/$5 after

CAPITOL CLUB Get Physical: DJ Edis, DJ Paycheck, 10 pm, free

CENTURY BALLROOM DJ Ray, DJ Mark, DJ Howard

CONTOUR Europa Night, 9 pm

CUFF Sensorium: DJ Almond Brown

THE EAGLE Bearometer

Underwear Party: DJ Kingofpants, guests, $5

ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN

Uniting Souls: Ramiro, Jeromy Nail, Derrick Deepvibes

FOUNDATION Above & Beyond, Darrius, Johnny Monsoon, Kai Larrabee, 8 pm a HALO All Ages Swing Dance: DJ Mark Kihara, 9 pm, $5

HAVANA Rotating DJs: DV One, Soul One, Curtis, Nostalgia B, Sean Cee, $5

HEARTLAND CAFE & BENBOW ROOM

Candylandia: DJ Cotton Candy, DJ Christophett, DJ Deep Parris, free

LAVA LOUNGE DJ Matt

★ LO-FI Emerald City Soul Club: Kenny Mac, Gene Balk, Marc Muller, Alvin Mangosing, Mike Chrietzberg, Brian Everett, George Gell, Mike “Girl Pants” Nipper, 9 pm, $10

MOE BAR Panther Down: DJ N8, Anthony Diamond, free

NEIGHBOURS Powermix: DJ Randy Schlager

NEIGHBOURS

UNDERGROUND Club

Vogue: DJ Chance, DJ Eternal Darkness

PONY Glitoris: Queen Mookie, Devil Eyes:

Q NIGHTCLUB The Playground, 9 pm, $10

SEE SOUND LOUNGE

Switch: Guest DJs

TRINITY ((SUB)): Guy, VSOP, Jason Lemaitre, guests, $15/free before 10 pm

★ VERMILLION Flux: Dj Res, guests, free THE WOODS Hiphop/R&B/

Funk/Soul/Disco: Guest DJs

SUN

2/10

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Kids on Fire, On the Ground, Super Nothing, Americommies

BARBOZA Night Cadet, Christy and Emily, Betsy Olson, 8 pm, $8

BLUE MOON TAVERN Grateful Dead Night: Kuli Loach, free

★ CAFE RACER The Racer Sessions

★ CHA CHA LOUNGE Ononos, Stickers, Haunted Horses, free COMET Matthew J Tow, Black Nite Crash, Kingdom of the Holy Sun $8

a EL CORAZON Afterwords, King the Kid, Home Alone, Jenny’s Last Stand, Steven Curtis, 7:30 pm, $8/$10

HIGH DIVE DreamWreck, Kieran Strange, 8 pm, $6

★ a JAZZ ALLEY Juan de Marcos and the Afro-Cuban All Stars, 7:30 pm, $35

KELL’S Liam Gallagher

NECTAR Space Owl, Quantonium, Fruit and

BY DAVE SEGAL

WEDNESDAY 2/6

PSYCHEMAGIK’S “DREAMS”-Y DISCO

The record-collecting fiends behind British duo Psychemagik have infiltrated the global club circuit via crowd-pleasing remixes/reedits of Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams,” the Yardbirds’ “For Your Love” (via Chilly), and other nostalgia-triggering tunes. As their name implies, Psychemagik imbue everything they touch with a lush, intensely vivid detail in the arrangements and orchestrations. Theirs is a classy breed of disco that also revels in mucking around with the masses. All this and a methodically rump-shaking track called “Ass Nation”? Yup. With Slowpøke DJs and Trouble Q, 9 pm, free, 21+.

THURSDAY 2/7

RISKY DISCO WITH BANKIE PHONES, AIRPORT, AND CRYSTAL HELL POOL

Sam Melancon’s superb Motor night moves to Electric Tea Garden after a rewarding stint at Lo-Fi. Familiar Motor figures Airport (aka Jayson Kochan) and Crystal Hell Pool (aka Chris Majerus) bring their distinctive versions of disco and drone to the low-ceilinged decadence den

Vegetable, 8 pm, $5/$7

a QUEEN ANNE CHRISTIAN CHURCH Schubertiade, 7:30 pm, $15-$30

RENDEZVOUS Ethan Jennings, Dana Pierce, Matt Green, Aron Bach, 7:30 pm

★ a SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Hot Water Music, 7 pm, $21.50/$25.00

a SKYLARK CAFE & CLUB

Rivers and Reeds, guests, 3 pm, $5; Evan Hulse, Kathryn Grimm, Jeremy Serwer, John Apolis, 7:30 pm, free

a STUDIO SEVEN Elude, Yellow Peril, Grid Hopper, Countless the Dead, Pharaohs of the Sun, Clubscouts, Clarity in Fiction, 4 pm, $9

TOWN HALL Dmitri Carter, guests, 1 pm, $5/$10

TULA’S Jazz Police Big Band, 3 pm, $5, Jim Cutler Jazz Orchestra, 8 pm, $8

VITO’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Ruby Bishop, 6 pm, the Ron Weinstein Trio, 9:30 pm

DJ

BALTIC ROOM Mass: Guest DJs

CAPITOL CLUB Island Style: DJ Bookem, DJ Fentar

CENTURY BALLROOM DJ Peter

CONTOUR Broken Grooves: DJ Venus, Rob Cravens, guests, free CUFF Tea Dance: John England, 6 pm, $5

THE EAGLE T-Bar/T-Dance: Up Above, Fistfight, free FOUNDATION Lunar New Year 2013: DJ Yup, DJ Spam I Am, 10 pm

MOE BAR Chocolate Sundays: Sosa, MarsONE, Phosho, free

NEIGHBOURS Noche Latina:

that is ETG. Airport—who has a 12-inch titled “Sweat”/“Pleasure” coming out on Melancon’s Debacle label March 12— loads his marauding, Moroder-esque rhythms with infinite choir loops and spacey, spine-tingling, Italo-cized signifiers while CHP sheds a blood-red light on his grippingly grim 4/4 dance beats. Bankie Phones (aka producer/.gif master Frankie Crescioni) impressed the hell out of me while opening for Gavin Russom late last year. Mr. Phones has a playful, exceptionally vibrant way with “primordial dankwave,” “Wi†çh Høü$£,” “pre-post-dubstep” and other half-jokey subgenres that will make your hips clownishly smile. With Xua, DJ Slow, and Jon Carr Electric Tea Garden, 8 pm, $5, 21+.

SATURDAY 2/9

NIGHT OF THE ANALOG-SYNTH MAGI WITH MATT CARLSON AND PANABRITE

Do you realize how fortunate you are to have two of the country’s finest synthesizer magi gathered in one tiny space tonight? Seriously, Portland’s Matt Carlson and Seattle’s Panabrite (aka Norm Chambers) are like 21st-century equivalents to Morton Subotnick and J D Emmanuel: alchemists of timbre, masters of using analog gear to create a strange language of avian and insectoid phantasms. Cornish grad Carlson’s output veers more toward the disjunctive and disturbing, favoring cranky, spluttering tone eructations contoured into engrossing spatial puzzles—gnarled patterns that take hours to untangle, but are so worth the effort. Panabrite’s releases generally conjure more pacific feelings, but his electronic paeans and cerulean drones soar into far more transcendental and emotionally profound strata than your typical new-age release. Watch them both turn Cairo into a planetarium. With Secret Colors Cairo, 8 pm, $5, all ages.

The Can Can shows are a world more sophisticated, smart and intelligent than anything available in London - Stephen Fry, BBC

Bankie Phones

DirecteD by Diane paulus

Guest DJs

H PONY TeaDance: DJ El Toro, Freddy King of Pants, 4 pm Q NIGHTCLUB Revival, 3 pm, free

H RE-BAR Flammable: DJ Wesley Holmes, 9 pm

SEE SOUND LOUNGE Salsa: DJ Nick

THE STEPPING STONE PUB

Vinyl Night: You bring your records, they play them

MON 2/11

LIVE

2 BIT SALOON Metal Monday: Dumbass Jones, Ancient Wind, Tatarus, $5

H CAN CAN Monster Planet: Guests, free

H HIGHLINE Enslaved, Pallbearer, Royal Thunder, Ancient Wisdom

KELL’S Liam Gallagher

MAC’S TRIANGLE PUB Jazz and Blues Night: Guests, free NEW ORLEANS The New Orleans Quintet, 6:30 pm

SUNSET TAVERN Wild Cub, Escondido, Prism Tats, 8 pm, $7

TRACTOR TAVERN the Tallboys, Every other 7:30 pm, $5

TRIPLE DOOR Musicquarium: Hot Tuna, 7:30 pm, $49.50/$55.00, Free Funk Union, 8 pm, free TULA’S Dave Marriott Big Band, 7:30 pm, $5

H THE WHITE RABBIT

Michael Shrieve’s Spellbinder, $6

DJ

BARBOZA Minted: DJ Swervewon, 100proof, Sean Cee, Blueyedsoul, free

CAPITOL CLUB The Jet Set: DJ Swervewon, 100 Proof

H CHOP SUEY Tigerbeat, 10 pm, free

COMPANY BAR Rock and Roll Chess Night: DJ Plantkiller, 8 pm, free

CONOR BYRNE Get the Spins: Guest DJs, free HAVANA Manic Mondays: DJ Jay Battle, free THE HIDEOUT Introcut, guests, free

LO-FI Jam Jam: Zion’s Gate, Sound Selecta, Element, Mista Chatman, $5

THE MIX Bring Your Own Vinyl Night: Guests

MOE BAR Minted Mondays: DJ Swervewon, 100proof, Sean Cee, Blueyedsoul, free

NEIGHBOURS UNDERGROUND SIN: DJ Keanu, 18+, free

PONY Dirty Deeds: Guest

DJs

Q NIGHTCLUB Electric

Penetration, Every 6 pm, free, Reflect, 8 pm, free

TUES

2/12

LIVE

CENTRAL SALOON The Swamp Dogs

CHOP SUEY Hunter Destroyer, Moonraper, 8 pm, free

H COMET Arrington de Dionyso, MTNS, Swamp Meat, 8 pm

CONOR BYRNE Ol’ Time

Social: The Tallboys, 9 pm

H COPPER GATE The Suffering Fuckheads, free H CROCODILE Cam’Ron, Nacho Picasso, DJ D Look, 8 pm a EL CORAZON Sabaton, Last Bastion, Beyond Theory, guests, 7:30 pm, $13/$40

ELECTRIC TEA GARDEN

Monktail Creative Music Concern, DJ Shonuph, free a FREMONT ABBEY The Round: Edmund Wayne, Dearborn, guests, 8 pm

HIGH DIVE Gimmicks, Verdant Mile, Radio Telescope, 8 pm, $6

JAZZ ALLEY Javina Magness, 7:30 pm, $22.50

KELL’S Liam Gallagher

THE MIX Jazz Night: Don Mock, Steve Kim, Jacques Willis, 8 pm

NECTAR Yogoman Burning Band, Tracorum, TubaLuba, 8 pm, $6/$8

NEW ORLEANS Holotradband, 7 pm

OUTWEST Wine and Jazz Night: Tutu Jazz Quartet, free

OWL N’ THISTLE Jazz Improv Night: Guests

SEAMONSTER McTuff Trio, 10 pm, free

H SHOWBOX AT THE MARKET Tomahawk, Retox

a SHOWBOX SODO Marilyn Manson, Butcher Babies, $42.50

SLIM’S LAST CHANCE Troubadour Tuesday: Stacie Jones, 7 pm

H SUNSET TAVERN

UUVVWWZ, guests, 8:30

Idon’t know what’s happening in this poster by Darin Shuler, but it makes me uncomfortable. And isn’t that what great art is supposed to do? See more of his work at darinshuler.com. AARON HUFFMAN

The Pharmacy w/Finn Riggins, Roaming Herds of Buffalo Thurs Feb 7, Rendezvous

pm, $6

TRACTOR TAVERN TubaLuba, the Braxmatics, Funky 2 Death, 8 pm, $8

TRINITY 2013 Seattle

Erotic Ball with DJ Jub Jub, DJ Paul Aleinikoff, 8 pm, $10

TRIPLE DOOR Music: Singer-Songwriter Showcase, 8 pm, free TULA’S Emerald City Jazz Orchestra, 7:30 pm, $5

DJ

H 95 SLIDE Chicken & Waffles: Supreme La Rock, DJ Rev, free CENTURY BALLROOM DJ Robb, DJ Deborah

CONTOUR Mardi Gras: Pezzner, Brian Lyons, Wesley Holmes, guests THE EAGLE Pitstop: DJ

Nark

HAVANA Word Is Bond: Mardi Gras Party: DJ Greg Vandy, the Trick Bag Crew, free, Hoot and Howl, $3 after 11 pm

H LO-FI Stop Biting: OM Unit, Introcut, Suttikeeree, WD4D, SeanCee, Absolute Madman

H MOE BAR Cool.: DJ Cory Alfano, DJ Cody Votolato, free

NECTAR Top Rankin’

Reggae: DJ Element, Chukki, free

NEIGHBOURS

UNDERGROUND Vicious Dolls: DJ Rachael, 9 pm, $5

H WILDROSE Taco Tuesday: Guest DJs

BY BRITTNIE FULLER

WEDNESDAY 2/6

GHOST MICE, YOUR HEART BREAKS, LIVING RHEUM, NANA GRIZOL

While I would generally prefer to stuff banjos in my ears than listen to most anything deemed “folk punk,” I would gladly stuff my ears full of Bloomington, Indiana, duo Ghost Mice (with Plan-it-x Records). Chris Clavin and Hannah Jones tell stories of being young and in love, eating pizza, and dumpster-diving, and while it all may come across as ragingly posi, its overwhelming sense of humanness also keeps my cynicism in check. In songs like “Free Pizza for Life,” the vocals teeter between self-awareness and elation: “So I jumped into the car/Told the driver to drive/As we sped off into the night, we yelled/Free pizza for life.” If any heartfelt, acoustic, anarchist punk is going to win me over, this is it. Who doesn’t like free pizza, anyway? With Living Rheum, a cleverly/grossly named folk collective from Portland, local fuzz punks Your Heart Breaks, and Nana Grizol Heartland, 9 pm, $7–$10 donation.

FRIDAY 2/8

WHITE MURDER, RED LIQUID, SIOUX CITY PETE & THE BEGGARS, MURDER IN THE WOOD

Don’t miss the experimental punk dirge of Seattle band Red Liquid, whose latest cassette, Mirror Syndrome Vol. II (Hanged Man Recordings), has a metallic and sprawling post-punk sound akin to Michael Gira collaborating through a gutter or a hacksaw with the Chameleons UK, if they had the hellish industrial vibe of Chrome. If you made any sense of that, then this is your show, nightmare seeker. With LA-based post-punk quintet White Murder, local death-blues/rock ’n’ roll band Sioux City Pete & the Beggars, and Murder in the Wood Black Lodge, 9 pm.

SATURDAY 2/9

MATT CARLSON, PANABRITE, SECRET COLORS

If you’re looking for something electronic this weekend, check out Portland musician Matt Carlson, who creates tranceinducing synthesizer sagas. Both celestial and terrifying, Carlson winds his listener into a k-hole of dystopian synth pulses that convulse and distort with ethereal grace. His latest release, All Moments, is out on NNA Tapes, and it morphs the spooky textures of Carlson’s past work into slightly more palpable scare-scapes. He’s joined tonight by local mind-expansion artists Panabrite and Secret Colors; come prepared for a truly alien encounter. Cairo, 8 pm, $5.

TY BARNETT

Ty began his comedy career at the Seattle Comedy Underground. He has appeared on countless TV programs including “The Tonight Show w/ Jay Leno”, “Jimmy Kimmel Live”, “Bad Boys of Comedy” and many others. His appearances on the hit shows “Last Comic Standing” and “Til Death” have been called “amazing” and “hilarious”. Ty is a tremendous talent and a

MISS THIS GUY!!

FILM

The Ultimate Colonial Crime

The Personal Folds into the Political in Tabu

Tabu, the second feature by the talented Portuguese director and critic Miguel Gomes, begins in the jungle. Giant trees, tall weeds, strange birds, and stinging insects surround a white explorer (or colonial officer) who is leading a long line of African laborers. The white man’s mind, however, is not in the jungle or journey, but is lost instead in the memories of his dead wife. He is not in the present but in the past. Eventually, the explorer/officer comes across a section of a stream occupied by a crocodile. This is where he meets his end, and also where it’s revealed that we are watching a film being watched by a woman, Pilar (Teresa Madruga), in present-day Lisbon.

Pilar is in her 50s and handsome, she lives alone and, as her solid command of English indicates, she is educated. But just as we are about to get a clear sense of her life and politics, which are progressive, it’s revealed that the movie is not really about her, but about

her next-door neighbors—a bitter and old white woman, Aurora (Laura Soveral), who lives with an exhausted black maid, Santa (Isabel Cardoso). The old woman is addicted to gambling; the maid spends her free time reading Robinson Crusoe. The old white woman and the maid are not on friendly terms—the old woman suspects the maid is up to no good, and the maid would thank the gods if the old woman vanished. But just when we’re certain that the strained relationship between Aurora and Santa is the bottom of this movie, we leave present-day Lisbon and enter a plantation in the twilight of colonial Mozambique.

It’s the early 1960s, revolution is in the air, and the restless natives want their land back. But the Europeans continue to dream like

Prescription for a Mindfuck

A Pharmacological Thriller from Steven Soderbergh

By Davi D s chma D er

One year after the surprising Magic Mike—in which rich social commentary was oiled up and shoved into a G-string—Steven Soderbergh returns with another stealthy triumph. For its first 30 or so minutes, Soderbergh’s Side Effects presents itself as a straightforward drama, in which a young woman (Rooney Mara) awaits the release of her insider-trading husband (Channing Tatum) from prison. During his time away, she’s attempted to correct her everworsening depression with a variety of medications, all doctor prescribed, each carrying its own bundle of side effects, from sexual dysfunction to sleepwalking.

As this introductory story proceeds, it draws in a psychiatrist (Jude Law) with deep ties to the pharmaceutical industry, and between the on-the-nose plot points and light melodrama, I wondered if Soderbergh was working some artisanal, postmodern spin on the Lifetime Movie. But as Side Effects continues, another film reveals itself—the real film, the one I encourage you to see, in a big theater crowded with other people. It’s impossible to discuss further specifics

there’s no tomorrow, continue to throw parties around swimming pools, continue to play American rock music in local nightclubs, hunt animals in the jungle, and raise crocodiles in their gardens. They are in paradise.

This section of the film, which is set on a plantation owned by a young Aurora (Ana Moreira), contains the core of Tabu—and that core is a violent crime committed by a torn lover. There is, however, no investigation of this crime: No detective arrives at the scene, no arrests are made, no court passes judgment, and no punishment is administered by the state. Tabu is not that kind of movie. The director instead wants to expose something deeper and more existential about the colonial experience, something that’s outside the standard state dispositifs of control, management, and policing. As a consequence, the crime is not a symbol of the colonial exploitation of African humans and geological resources. It’s not about feminism (the criminal is a woman) or political liberation.

Instead, it is about how we, as individuals, are doomed to be nostalgic, doomed to cling to the past, doomed to grow old and lose everything that was once so real to us. And the realest thing of all is the time of our youth. The crime, in short, is a cry.

Shot in black and white, Tabu not only has multiple narrative layers, but it also blurs almost every imaginable structural line: between the mythical and the actual, the substantial and the surreal, comedy and drama, the present and the past, nature and civilization, madness and sanity, human and animal, colonial and postcolonial, political and personal. The end result of all this blurring is to highlight how the violence of people in power, in this case colonialists, cannot always be explained by their status—people do not wake up and think, “I am the state.” They wake up and think, “I am pregnant,” or “I am jealous,” or “I am in crisis.”

If I had seen Tabu last year, I would have placed it in my top 10 films. n

Older, Ornerier, More Honest

Michael Apted’s Great Documentary Opus Continues

By Jen Graves

without spoiling the movie, so let me just say that it all adds up to a twisty, chilling, sometimes goofy (in a good way) Hollywood thrill ride. The screenplay, by Scott Z. Burns, does just what it should, the performances are all perfectly fine or better (Jude Law remains, in my eyes, a slender vat of unflavored pudding, but this suits his role perfectly), and having someone with the mastery of Soderbergh steering the whole thing is continually rewarding. n

You don’t usually hear a journalist ask questions. They’re edited out or written around. But over the years, documentary filmmaker Michael Apted has not cut out the footage where he pressed a veteran couple about whether the spark is still there, or asked a formerly homeless and mentally troubled 56-year-old why he has never sustained a romance. Apted has raised the specter of the natural cruelty of documenting human life—and he’s also embodied a continuously satisfying proxy who’s finding out what you want to know but would be too afraid to ask.

Apted’s series of documentary movies began in 1964 as a portrait of a group of 7-year-olds from all over England, selected by Apted to represent the extremes of a classist society. At the time, Apted was a recent Cambridge graduate. His Canadian director, Paul Almond, wanted a softer approach, but Apted chose the 14 subjects because, as he said, “I wanted to make a nasty piece of work about these kids who have it all, and these other kids who have nothing.” Some kids boasted of reading the Financial Times, while others were abandoned and living in group homes. After the original film, titled

Seven Up!, Apted became director and continued to follow the original group of subjects every seven years. 56 Up is the new release. Apted himself is almost 72 years old. You don’t need to have watched any of the prior films to get into 56 Up, maybe the most satisfying of all the films so far. Its tone is calm. The subjects are comfortable with themselves. They mostly despise the aftermath of Thatcher England. They also speak openly now about the oppressive presence of the film series itself. For every film after Seven Up!, filming was voluntary for the subjects, and since 28 Up, they’ve been paid to appear and received a portion of any prize money the film wins. There have been dropouts and comebacks; a man in 56 Up admits he’s only back to promote his band. (It seems like a nice British Americana band.) “As time has passed, they’ve become much less interested in what I want them to do,” Apted told Radio Times last year. The eloquence of their defiance is finally up to Apted’s challenge: They are his equals now, and the series has become fully a dialogue. For those of us who’ve watched over the years, it’s more than enough to take into the hibernation of the silent time to come: the next seven years of waiting. n

Side Effects

dir. Steven Soderbergh Wide release

TABU The greatest cinematic dreamscape about colonialism you’ll see all year.

Tabu dir. Miguel Gomes Northwest Film Forum

WE DON’T CARE ABOUT MUSIC ANYWAY

FILM SHORTS

More reviews and movie times: thestranger.com/film

Limited Run

H 56 Up

See review, page 55. The eighth installment of Michael Apted’s great documentary opus. Varsity, Fri-Sun 2, 5:15, 8:30 pm, Mon-Tues 5:15, 8:30 pm.

Alone Up There

A documentary about the emotionally taxing world of professional stand-up comedians and how sometimes people throw tumblers at them. Grand Illusion, Fri-Sat 9 pm.

H Amélie

A beautifully kinetic testament to human sweetness that had audiences lining up around the block and contrarians carping about its artificiality. I’m not saying you have to be an asshole to not like Amélie, but it would probably help. (SEAN NELSON) Central Cinema, Fri-Tues 9:30 pm.

H BirTh STory: inA mAy GASkin And The FArm midwiveS

Birth is an epically complicated subject, and the documentary Birth Story mostly does justice to it. Ina May Gaskin is the world’s most famous midwife. She was a caravanning hippie who decided to go to Tennessee and set up a farm commune, which opened in 1971 and is still going strong, training midwives and delivering babies. The directors do a good job interweaving new and historical footage of the founding midwives’ halcyon days. Gaskin’s philosophy is simple: relax. But in the force field of childbirth, that’s got to be the hardest thing of all to do. (JEN GRAVES) Grand Illusion, Sun 3, 5 pm, Mon 7 pm.

H BreAkFAST AT TiFFAny’S

Starring Audrey Hepburn in her iconic turn as Holly Golightly and Mickey Rooney as a horrendous Asian stereotype. Central Cinema, Fri-Tues 7 pm.

H The GreAT CinemATiC Clown pierre

eTAix

A retrospective showcase of five of the lauded French clown’s films from the ‘60s and early ‘70s. Northwest Film Forum, Feb 6-21. For complete schedule and showtimes, see www.nwfilmforum.com.

H hArold And mAUde

The classic idiosyncratic love story of a morbid young

man named Harold (Bud Cort) who falls for a woman named Maude (Ruth Gordon), who’s so old that she no longer buys green bananas. King’s Hardware, Mon Feb 11 at dusk.

H moUlin roUGe!

Baz Luhrmann’s ode to Paris, Nicole Kidman’s consumption, and Ewan McGregor’s brow. You know you love it. Don’t pretend. Egyptian, Fri-Sat midnight.

oSCAr nominATed doCUmenTAry ShorTS

Residents of an upscale retirement home in Kings Point a hair salon for cancer patients in Mondays at Racine , a 15-year-old artist and undocumented immigrant in Inocente , the beneficiaries of your empty bottles in Redemption , and Sudanese, free-of-charge, high-risk heart surgery in Open Heart make up this year’s nominated docs, each around 40 minutes long. SIFF Film Center, Fri 7, 9:30 pm, Sat 12:30, 3, 7, 9:30 pm, Sun 12:30, 3, 5, 7:30 pm, Mon 7, 9:30 pm, Tues 7, 8:45 pm.

oSCAr nominATed ShorT FilmS 2013

This year’s batch of Oscar-nominated short films, divided into two programs: live-action and animated. Harvard Exit, see landmarktheatres.com for full schedule.

roCCo And hiS BroTherS

The 1960 neorealist film by Luchino Visconti about a family struggling to adapt to life in northern Italy. Seattle Art Museum, Thurs Feb 7 at 7:30 pm.

H Side eFFeCTS

See review, page 55. The new film by Steven Soderbergh. SIFF Cinema Uptown, Fri 4:45, 7, 9:15 pm, Sat-Sun 12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7, 9:15 pm, Mon-Tues 4:45, 7, 9:15 pm.

H The SproCkeT SoCieTy’S SeCreT SATUrdAy mATinee

A family-friendly series featuring classic movie serial episodes plus secret classic feature films. The serial: 1939’s stunt-packed cliffhanger Zorro’s Fighting Legion. The secret feature film: secret, but this month’s theme is exotic lands. Grand Illusion, Sat Feb 2 at 2 pm.

SUperSilenT 7

A concert film of “one of the most critically acclaimed” avant-garde improvisational groups of our time, the

least worn the “Wm.™ Steven Humphrey bunion pads” I sent you.)

Norwegian band Supersilent. Grand Illusion, Tues Feb 12 at 9 pm.

H SweeT Smell oF SUCCeSS

See Stranger Suggests, page 21. The tension of the main characters in Sweet Smell of Success represents a tension between two periods: the modern age (1947 to 1968) and the jazz age (the 1920s). On the modern side is a young woman (Susan Harrison) and her lover, a jazz musician Martin Milner; on the jazz-age side is a sleazy columnist (Burt Lancaster) and his sleazy press agent (Tony Curtis). The struggle between the old and the new, the sleek modernism of the interiors and exteriors, the experimental cinematography—all of this places Success in the higher regions of post-WWII American cinema. (CHARLES MUDEDE) Central Cinema, Wed 7, 9:30 pm.

H TABU

See review, page 55. Northwest Film Forum, Fri-Tues 7, 9:15 pm.

H we don’T CAre ABoUT mUSiC AnywAy

See Art House, page 57. A “sonic portrait” of experimental musicians “in the darkness of Tokyo’s wastelands.” Grand Illusion, Fri-Sun 7 pm, Mon 9 pm, Tues 7 pm. nOW PLAying

AmoUr

In his signature style, which is variously described as “brutal,” “sadistic,” and “unsentimental,” Michael Haneke paints the portrait of a well-off, cultured elderly couple in Paris who have to contend with the increasing incapacitation of Anne (Emmanuelle Riva). After suffering a paralyzing stroke, Anne asks her husband Georges (Jean-Louis Trintignant) to not ever put her in the hospital—so he oversees her final downward spiral. Haneke unflinchingly portrays the mundane, depressing details of caring for a slowly dying spouse. His devotion to honesty yields a result that is technically impressive, beautifully acted, and deeply boring.

(MARJORIE SKINNER)

Broken CiTy

by wm. tm steven humphrey

A tALe OF tWO BieBeRS

As you already know, I have a complicated relationship with Justin Bieber About the time his mega summer jam “Baby” hit the airwaves back in 2010, I became Justin Bieber’s #1 grown-up fan. (I was also in hot contention to become his #1 creepiest fan—but I got beat out by some pee-hole who was later arrested on various sodomy charges. BOOOOOO!) I owned at least two Justin Bieber T-shirts, a Justin Bieber shower curtain, Justin Bieber dental floss and singing electric toothbrush, Justin Bieber dog tags (just in case someone ever started a JB militia), a Justin Bieber action figure (who would fight my GI Joes… and always win), Justin Bieber perfume (which weirdly didn’t smell anything like Justin Bieber), and a Justin Bieber wig that I wore to all Justin Bieber fan club meetings—of which I was president, vice president, and Grand Exalted Dictator of Bieberosity.

HOWEVER. As sometimes happens in relationships, eventually Justin Bieber and I grew apart. And it was just this week—when I noticed that Das Biebs was scheduled to be the musical guest AS WELL AS the host of Saturday Night Live (NBC, Sat Feb 9, 11:30 pm)—that I began wonder why I was no longer drifting off to sleep wrapped in my Justin Bieber comforter. Here, I think, are the reasons:

1. He didn’t own a comforter with my face on it. Nor dog tags, nor dental floss, nor shower curtain. Obsession is a two-way street, Justin! (You could have at

2. I didn’t like the way he handled puberty. When I hit puberty? In less than three weeks, I grew roughly 14 inches in every direction. Hair sprouted out of every orifice. My voice sounded like someone had thrown a cat into a cement mixer. And I lurched around the halls of my middle school like some bizarre, hairy, screeching golem that was doused in anti-cheerleader formula. Meanwhile, Justin’s puberty consisted of his voice dropping an octave, growing six-pack abs, and changing his haircut. I kind of hate him for that.

3. And… well… ummm… he’s kind of a douche. I didn’t mind his Jet Ski and yellow Ferrari douchemobiles—that’s what dumbass rich kids do with their money. I just don’t like the new Justin Bieber—the one strutting around shirtless with droopy drawers and a sideways baseball cap. Or the new Justin Bieber, who, according to Star magazine, cheats on his girlfriend with a nursing student who he takes to McDonald’s for dinner and then back to his place to have sex, smoke dope, and drink “Sizzurp” (which apparently is some sort of soft drink made with Jolly Ranchers and codeine cough syrup???). WHAT????

Look. I don’t expect JB to be the same angel-voiced, floppy-haired, puddingfaced pop star of 2010. He’s allowed to grow up. He’s allowed to change. I just don’t want to be around to see it. (Besides, what am I supposed to do with all these Wm™ Steven Humphrey dog tags, shower curtains—and, this just in—cooling hemorrhoid pads? Forget Justin Bieber! America, don’t let your obsession with me go to waste!) n Comment on I Love Television at thestranger.com

Broken City is supposed to be a macho cop thriller about a disgraced cop who gets sucked into an elaborate plot involving the mayor (or, in Mark Wahlberguese: “Duh mayuh”). Russell Crowe plays duh mayuh, and he’s as boring as Russell Crowe has been for several years. The plot involves a dead guy, a possible affair, duh mayuh’s wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones, sounding out of place with her impersonation of a film-noir moll), and a bunch of people chasing after an incriminating piece of paper that I’m pretty sure in the real world could be obtained from city records by anyone who wanted to see it. (PAUL CONSTANT)

BUlleT To The heAd

A hired killer with the unfortunate nickname of Jimmy Bobo (Sylvester Stallone) is sucked into a shady real-estate deal that requires him to team up with a cop (Sung Kang) and bump heads with an evil condo aficionado (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) and his crew of weasels. Bullet to the Head is a stiff movie. But it’s not just stiff in one way. It is arthritic. It limps. It’s inflexible. It’s starchy. The dialogue is packed with dull exposition and dumb repetitions. And Stallone is stiff like an infected toe: swollen and painful to look at. (PAUL CONSTANT)

H djAnGo UnChAined

The world’s first western blaxploitation revenge buddy comedy, Django Unchained is one of Quentin Tarantino’s best movies—a brutal, hilarious, thrilling, messy bastard of a thing. (ERIK HENRIKSEN)

H hAnSel & GreTel: wiTCh hUnTerS Abandoned in the woods by their parents and forced to fight for their lives against a child-eating witch, it’s no wonder Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) ended up with some deep-seated psychological issues and a substantial thirst for violence. In Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, the siblings are now contract killers, ridding the countryside of a surprisingly bountiful amount of witches using an arsenal of steampunk weaponry. Hansel and Gretel is a brainless, fun fantasy with plenty of R-rated gore and just the right amount of bodice-heaving sex appeal. (NED LANNAMANN)

H mAmA

Mama was originally a short film by brother-sister team Andy and Barbara Muschietti. Badass director Guillermo del Toro was sufficiently scared by the scant 2.5-minute Spanish-language horror film that he shepherded it through Hollywood, after which it now sits at your local theater, directed by Andy and cowritten by him and his sis—only now it’s trimmed with pretty white actors and some CG creature effects. It’s a film that works best in the shadows, propped up by creepy performances from the two skittery kids and a ghost whose intentions are stifling. Individual elements of the story are weak—why is everyone so incredulous that a bass player in a band might make an okay mother? Why are ghost mommies always losing their babies? Why does everyone keep going to the haunted cabin?—but when Mama works, it evokes the same atmospheric claustrophobia and tension that made the short so profoundly scary. (COURTNEY FERGUSON)

Parker’s escape after the heist goes wrong, which demonstrates his callous ability to do whatever it takes to survive—and the fight scenes are delightfully gory. But too much of it is just plain boring, with info dump after info dump and tons of momentum-killing scenes designed to “feature” Jennifer Lopez. This is a dumb movie about a very smart character, and the pleasures don’t outweigh the bores. (PAUL CONSTANT)

Rust and Bone

Ali (Matthias Schoenaerts) goes to southern France to begin a new life. While working at a club, Ali helps Stephanie (Marion Cotillard). We see Stephanie working with killer whales at a cheesy Sea World–like theme park. Then an accident happens. When Stephanie wakes in a hospital, the film starts its slide from greatness to mediocrity. Rust and Bone could easily have been a deep look at poverty and class struggle in post-crash France, but it is instead about a fight club and a sexual affair. The end of this film will not leave you satisfied. (CHARLES MUDEDE)

H silveR linings PlayBook

Silver Linings Playbook is a brilliant schmaltzy movie. Bradley Cooper stars as a man with bipolar disorder who moves back in with his parents and tries to woo his ex-wife with the help of a young widow (Jennifer Lawrence, being incredible and making it look easy). Sure, it’s an emotionally manipulative romantic comedy. But the quality of the performances, the script, and David O. Russell’s direction make it an authentic emotionally manipulative romantic comedy. (PAUL CONSTANT)

stand uP guys

The tagline for this old-gangsters-reunited flick starring Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, and Alan Arkin is “They don’t make ’em like they used to,” and it’s horribly, painfully true, for this movie is awful. The three actors are phoning it in from so far away, they seem like reanimated dinosaurs from outer space; the jokes meant to juxtapose the they’ve-still-got-it violence are lifeless; and the violence comes in stylized bursts that seem so out of place, they have no impact whatsoever. The treatment of a gang-rape is especially, appallingly facile, and because of that, I feel justified in making one ageist remark: Al Pacino’s head looks like it has a tragically dyed, dead hedgehog atop it. Just go gray, man, and stop making movies. (BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT)

H ZeRo daRk thiRty

While torture plays a prominent role in Zero Dark Thirty as it did in reality—it’s hardly the focus of the film, which begins and ends with tears, and crams an incredible amount into the nearly three hours in between. Focusing on a CIA intelligence officer known only as Maya, Zero seeps with the wounds of 9/11 and charges forward as its characters get ever closer to a compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan. No one is sure if Bin Laden is in there, except the audience—and yet this does nothing to diminish the film’s jarring intensity, which speaks volumes for Mark Boal’s nuanced screenplay. Boal and director Kathryn Bigelow were granted extraordinary access to CIA officials while researching the film, and Bigelow colors everything in shades of gray. For all the stark chatter around the film, there’s no black and white in Zero Dark Thirty—which means there isn’t any victory, either. (ERIK HENRIKSEN)

art house

WE DON’T CARE ABOUT MUSIC ANYWAY

The last scene of this documentary about the post-crash (but pre-earthquake) experimental music scene in Tokyo will blow your mind. It happens in an abandoned warehouse. Dead televisions, computer screens, routers, and wireless phones are on the floor, and sitting on a folding chair is cellist Hiromichi Sakamoto, playing a piece of music (part electronic, part classical) that concentrates the deepest feelings of a civilization that no longer grows and whose greatness, whose moment in the sun, is now entirely frozen in the past. Once called the “Empire of Signs” by the French semiotician Roland Barthes, Japan has now been reduced to the sign of an empire that no longer exists. Indeed, it was recently reported that the number of diapers sold for adults in Japan has surpassed the number sold for babies. The country has become much like the infertile world of Children of Men. Sex is meaningless, the last pleasure is shopping, the population is getting older, and the economy has been flat for 20 years. As one of the musicians interviewed in We Don’t Care About Music Anyway points out, people have stopped believing that the recession is going to end. It is here to stay. So what’s left? The noise art of decline, the futureless pop of abandoned places, the broken beats of dusty but digital consumer electronics. In one scene, Sakamoto shoots the plastic pellets of a toy gun at his bruised cello. Each hit is echoed by a mixer wired to the instrument’s hollow core. Sometimes the toy gun jams. But Sakamoto keeps pulling the trigger until the clog clears, pellets are fired, and the sad dub returns. This is how the world ends. Grand Illusion, Feb 8–14. n

YDear Eddie

ou always told us that you didn’t go to war to kill anybody, and you didn’t, but you did spend six days body-bagging enemy soldiers after a US bombing run along a 14-mile stretch of desert highway. You said you put hundreds of body parts into bags. You said you filled one bag with amputated feet. Just feet.

You were a white boy who grew up on our reservation, and we loved you so much that we called you Indian. You sang at the drum with us and grew your blond hair long like ours, but you didn’t braid it because you said that would be disrespectful to the tribe.

We sent you off to war like a hero, and you came back eggshell-cracked and soul-immolated.

At your welcome-home party, you dragged Little Junior into the trees and punched his forehead skin off the bone. Then you tried to rape Plum Tree in the back bedroom. Her screams saved her. It took six of us to

Free Will Astrology

by Rob bR ezsny

For the Week of Feb 6

ARIES (March 21–April 19): “What we need is more people who specialize in the impossible,” said poet Theodore Roethke. For the foreseeable future, Aries, you could and should be a person like that.

I’m not saying that you will forevermore be a connoisseur of amazements and a massager of miracles and a magnet for unexpected beauty. But if you want to, you can play those roles for the next few weeks. How many exotic explorations and unlikely discoveries can you cram into your life between now and March 1? How many unimaginable transformations can you imagine?

TAURUS (April 20–May 20): North America’s most powerful and iconic waterfall is Niagara Falls, which straddles the border between the United States and Canada. In 1969, the US Army Corps of Engineers managed to shut down the American side of this elemental surge for a few months. They performed their monumental magic by building a dam made with 27,800 tons of rocks. Their purpose was to do research and maintenance on the stony foundation that lies beneath the water. I’m thinking that you Tauruses could accomplish a metaphorical version of that feat in the coming weeks—some awesome task that allows you to peer beneath the surface and make refinements that enhance your stability for a long time.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20): National Geographic reports that dung beetles have an intimate relationship not only with the earth but also with the stars. Scientists in South Africa found that the bugs use the Milky Way galaxy to orient themselves while rolling their precious balls of dung to the right spot for safekeeping. The bright band of starlight in the sky serves as a navigational aid. I nominate the dung beetle to be your power animal in the coming weeks, Gemini. It will be prime time for you, too, to align your movements and decisions with a bigger picture and a higher power. (Read about the research here: http://tinyurl.com/GalacticBeetles.)

CANCER (June 21–July 22): You should go right ahead and compare oranges and apples in the coming week, Cancerian. Honey and butter, too: It’s fine to compare and contrast them. Science and religion. Bulldogs and Siamese cats. Dew and thunderclaps. Your assignment is to create connections that no one else would be able to make… to seek out seemingly improbable harmonies between unlikely partners… to dream up interesting juxta-

drag you away.

We all loved Plum Tree (she was a shawl dancer), and we adored Little Junior (who was an autistic dreamer long before we knew about autism), so we kicked you off the reservation. We banished you, unofficially at first, and then the tribal council made it law.

You left the reservation as an Indian-by-osmosis and came back as a crazy white man warrior, and we Indian boys, who loved to call ourselves warriors but never went to war, wiped away our imaginary war paint and invented drum songs about peace.

And then we sang death songs when we heard you jumped off the Maple Street Bridge. We pretended that you turned into a hawk halfway through your descent and flew away instead of crashing onto the rocks below.

We sang Fly, Eddie, Fly, Way Ya Hi Yo, Fall In Love With The Sky, The Sky, Way Ya Way, Sky, Sky, Sky. n

positions that generate fertile ideas. Your soul needs the delight and challenge of unexpected blending.

LEO (July 23–Aug 22): The collection called Grimm’s Fairy Tales includes the story “The Devil and His Grandmother.” In one scene, the devil’s grandmother is petting and rubbing her grandson’s head. Or at least that’s what the English translations say. But the authors wrote in German, and in their original version of the text, grandma is in fact plucking lice from the devil’s hair. Your job in the coming week, Leo, is to ensure that no one sanitizes earthy details like that. Be vigilant for subtle censorship. Keep watch for bits of truth that have been suppressed. You need the raw feed that comes straight from the source.

VIRGO (Aug 23–Sept 22): In her book Jung and Tarot, Sallie Nichols notes that the 16th card in most tarot decks portrays lightning as a hostile force: “jagged, zigzag strokes that slash across the sky like angry teeth.” But there’s one deck, the Marseilles tarot, that suggests a kinder, gentler lightning. The yellow and red phenomenon descending from the heavens resembles a giant feather duster; it looks like it would tickle and clean rather than burn. I suspect you’ll be visited by a metaphorical version of this second kind of lightning sometime soon, Virgo. Prepare to be tickled and cleaned!

LIBRA (Sept 23–Oct 22): Years ago, “bastard” was a derisive term for a child born to unmarried parents. It reflected the conventional moral code, which regarded a “birth out of wedlock” as scandalous. But I think we can safely say that this old dogma has been officially retired. According to recent statistics compiled by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 40 percent of the kids born in the United States are born to unmarried mothers. Just goes to show you that not all forbidden acts remain forbidden forever. What was unthinkable or out of bounds or not allowed at one time may evolve into what’s normal. I bring this up, Libra, because it’s an excellent time for you to divest yourself of a certain taboo that’s no longer necessary or meaningful.

SCORPIO (Oct 23–Nov 21): While trekking up Mount Katahdin in Maine, naturalist Henry David Thoreau had a “mountaintop experience” that moved him to observe, “I stand in awe of my body.” You’re due for a similar splash of illumination, Scorpio. The time is right for you to arrive at a reverent new appreciation for the prodigious feats that your physical organism endlessly performs for you. What could you do to encourage such a breakthrough? How can you elevate your love for the flesh and blood that houses your divine spark?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22–Dec 21): How do you like your caviar? Do you prefer it to be velvety and smooth, or would you

rather have it be full of a strong fishy taste? If it’s the first option, beluga caviar is your best option. If the second, sevruga should be your favorite. What? You say you never eat caviar? Well, even if you don’t, you should regard the choice between types of caviar as an apt metaphor for the coming week. You can either have velvety smoothness or a strong taste, but not both. Which will it be? Set your intention.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22–Jan 19): “Dear Astrology Guy: I have been reading your horoscopes since I was 19. For a while, I liked them. They were fun riddles that made me think. But now I’ve soured on them. I’m sick and tired of you asking me to transform myself. You just keep pushing and pushing, never satisfied, always saying it’s time to improve myself or get smarter or fix one of my bad habits. It’s too much! I can’t take it any more! Sometimes I just want to be idle and lazy. Your horoscopes piss me off! —Crabby Capricorn.” Dear Crabby: I’ve got some good news. In the coming week, you are completely excused from having to change anything about yourself or your life. Stay exactly the same! Be frozen in time. Resist the urge to tinker. Take a vacation from life’s relentless command to evolve.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20–Feb 18): Young art student Andrzej Sobiepan sneaked into Poland’s National Museum with a painting he had done himself and managed to surreptitiously mount it on one of the walls. It hung there for a while before authorities noticed it and took it down. “I decided that I will not wait 30 or 40 years for my works to appear at a place like this,” he said. “I want to benefit from them in the here and now.” This is the kind of aggressive self-expression I’d like to see you summon in the coming weeks, Aquarius. Don’t wait for the world to come and invite you to do what you want to do. Invite yourself. P.S. The English translation of Sobiepan’s Polish last name means “his own master.” What can you do to be more of your own master?

PISCES (Feb 19–March 20): Before any system can leap to a higher level of organization, says poet Susan Goldsmith Wooldridge, it has to undergo dissolution. “Unraveling or disintegrating is a vital, creative event making room for the new,” she declares. Guess what time it is for the system we all know and love as YOU, Pisces? That’s right: It’s a perfect moment to undo, dismantle, and disperse… as well as to unscramble, disentangle, and disencumber. Be of good cheer! Have faith that you will be generating the conditions necessary for the rebirth that will follow. “To change from one reality to another,” writes Wooldridge, “a thing first must turn into nothing.” (Her book is Poemcrazy.)

WHAT NO ONE ELSE WILL TELL YOU ABOUT COLLEGE SAVAGE LOVE, COLLEGE EDITION HOW TO DEAL WITH A HANGOVEr HOW TO BrEAk Up WITH SOmEONE HOW TO GET ALONG WITH pEOpLE WHO ArE DIffErENT frOm YOU HOW TO SLEEp WITH YOUr prOfESSOr HOW TO BE GAY WHAT NO ONE ELSE WILL TELL YOU ABOUT DrUGS HOW TO TAkE A COmpLIm ENT HOW TO ACTUALLY DO L AUNDrY HOW TO mAkE TACOS WHAT THE ALBUmS IN YOUr DOrm rOOm SAY ABOUT YOU EVErYTHING YOU N EED TO kNOW TO SUCCESSfULLY fLIrT WITH A fIL m N ErD H OW TO kNOW If YOU’rE A rEpUBLICAN Or A DEmOCr AT HOW TO DATE pEOpLE INSIDE YOUr COmpUTEr AND NOT GET mUrDErED HOW TO WrITE GOOD HOW TO GET OVEr A BrOkEN HEArT HOW TO m AkE frIENDS AND mOrE!

by charles mudede

Tons more reviews online! thestranger.com/film

VOLUNTEERS

ACT LOCAL, THINK Global! Join the Oxfam Action Corps in Seattle! Help women farmers, promote food justice, save the planet. /www.oxfamamerica.org/whatyoucando/take-action/community-action

ARE YOU OVERWEIGHT & INTERESTED IN THE HEALTH EFFECTS OF VITAMIN D? See our Web Post-Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center

BECOME A VIP Manager! 360 hours over 10 months.For more information contact Rachael, Rachael@501commons.org. Service award when 360 hours complete.

DO YOU LIKE SODA POP? See our web post for details. Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center

DO YOU LOVE automobiles? Volunteer at Lemay Americas Car Museum! For information visit our web site: www.LemayMuseum.org or email Volunteer@LeMayMuseum.org.

WASHINGTON PARK ARBORETUM needs you to help kids learn, grow and play outside. Contact Lisa Sanphillippo 206-543-8801 or lsanphil@uw.edu

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ EXTRA Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-4057619 EXT 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com (AAN CAN)

AIRLINE CAREERS Ð Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training.Financial aid if qualified Ð Housing available.Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN)

ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE from Home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice,*Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472 www.CenturaOnline.com (AAN CAN)

BURIEN

APARTMENTS

$345

Sober living Services has just opened a New Coed Home In The Burien area, http://soberlivingservices.vpweb.com/ , Bunk Beds start at $345.00. Twin beds are available.

$849

DOWNTOWN

Second Chance Leasing. Free Rent. Click http://FreeApartmentLocators. Net for Dallas, Arlington, Carrollton, Fort Worth, Houston, Clear Lake, Sugar Land and Cypress Apartments. Call Now. 281-690-2402. All areas, prices and sizes. One month free rent. Instant Free Help. Second Chance Finder Services.

GREENWOOD $825

Greenlake/Greenwood 1929 English Tudor Whole 2nd fl flat-type apt. 1BR w/LR or use as 2BR w/kit-family rm combo. $825 for 1 person. $95 for all utl incl cable & wifi. NS or NP. No background problems. 206-229-8853 11am-7pm.

QUEEN ANNE $1,000

Large 1 & 2BD’s. 1BD w/balcony, 2BD with views! Great location, DW, w/s/g included. $1000-$1600/mo. 1000 1st Ave. W. Call (206)286-9488

ART STUDIO/CREATIVE

I AM LOOKING for someone that would be interested in sub-leasing this room. Please call 425.444.5053 or email at robert@thevocaliststudio.com.

HOUSES

CAR SERVICE

CASH FOR YOUR UNWANTED & JUNK TRUCKS & CARS, FAST SERVICE, 7 DAYS A WEEK, LICENSED PAID $CASH. Please visit my website www.Freejunkcarhauling.com or call me at (206)941-0612,(253)859-5566 or emeil cashforjunk@yahoo.com Thank you.

I PROVIDE TUTORING in Basic/ Advanced Java. I have 11 years of experience. Try a FREE demo session for an hour.Testimonials are at http:// www.javasprint.com

WEB BASICS: ITA340, Foundations Web Design/Development (formerly Introduction Web Publishing), UW online credit course. HTML5, CSS, Section 508, Unix, RWD, more! http:// tinyurl.com/2w7cebc

DEEP TISSUE AND Relaxation Massage on Capitol Hill. $50.00. Jeff LMP 206-650-0542 swedish, sports, and deep tissue massage. Last minute appointments encouraged. www.broadwaymassage.com 14 years experience. All are welcome. Close to broadway ave. 7 days a week 11:00a.m.-9:00p.m.

at 253.359.4104

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

VIEW LOT (24,000+SQ.FT) just waiting for custom home or potential for 3units. Excellent location. Call, Natalia 206-979-0753, AssociateBroker, Skyline Properties, www.NataliasHomes.com

ROOMMATES

$490 5 BDRM contact 603-724-1016 ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM.

(AAN

AMAZING MANSION LIKE home on the east bluff queen anne with great views has large bedroom available. master sized with 3 closets,fireplace,views, oak floors. 3400 sf click here for more details or visit www.MetroRoommates.com RECOVERY SERVICES HOUSING Sober living Services has just opened a Coed Home In The Burien area, http:// soberlivingservices.vpweb.com/ Bunk Beds start at $345.00. Twin beds are available.

CLEANING

ANITA’S HOUSE CLEANING* Great prices! Seattle and eastside... 206 3702431 im. Annys2330@yahoo.com CARPET CLEANING SPECIAL!

$29.99 per room, min. of 3 areas/ rooms. We use the state of the art Rotovac Wand.

FINANCIAL/LEGAL

NOTARY, TYPING & PARALEGAL SERVICES JUST FOR YOU! Contact NTPI Services at contract_paralegal@ hotmail.com or (206)265-2696 to discuss how can be of service to you.

MISC.

BLANCHARD CHAPEL WEDDINGS & Receptions: Historic cathedral sanctuary, steeple bells, indoor & outdoor reception areas, gardens and countryside meadows. We welcome all marriages! (www.blanchardchapel.com) (360)766-6944

THIS CRAZY LITTLE thing called love. The Happy Wedding Officiant Since 1997. Negotiable rates. candace@scn.org

PET CARE

STRESS LESS WHEN you’ve got a pet care professional walking your dog. SNIFF Seattle Dog Walkers. (206) 478-5183

COUNSELING

CREATIVE

AFFORDABLE COUNSELING FOR individuals, families and relationships of all configurations. Sliding scale. The price of therapy shouldn’t drive you crazy. G/L/B/T/Q/I sex positive/ sex worker/kink friendly Cristien Storm, M.A. LMHC www.cristienstorm.com 206-769-3160

ANGER MANA GEMENT

Is your life out of balance? Perhaps your anger is creating problems. Find Balance Between Body + Soul. Call (206) 427-9796 or Visit www.NutriPsychTherapy.com

EDUCATION

CATAPULT YOUR ESL career and teach English abroad with

certificate. Courses start 3/18 and 4/22. ELS Seattle 206.329.1079 / celtaseattle@els.edu

DANCE WITH BOLLYWOOD Seattle! Bolly’robics, 7-8pm and All Level Bollywood and Bhangra Choreo lessons, 7-8:30pm. We dance at UStudios - 4332 University Ave NE www.dancewithmollie.com (206) 708-6780

METAPHYSICIAN & SPIRIT guide helps in all categories of life. I’ll guide you through all walks of life. Here to guide you with a new age approach to a age old practice.

MASSAGE

$45HR FOR MEN 1.5-$65/2hr-

$85. Relieve tightness, tension and muscle aches while enjoying an excellent, unhurried massage. Loosen up, feel great, relax, unwind. 18yrs masseur. John Runyan 206.324.0682 (LMP#MA8718). 10am-9pm. Cash/ incalls only. Last Minute Encouraged.

ENJOY A SOOTHING massage on capitol hill. 7 days a week until 9:00 p.m. Jeff LMP 206-650-0542 $50.00 an hour. All are welcome and last minute appointments encouraged. www.broadwaymassage.com Reduce stress, anxiety, sore muscles, and back pain.

EXCELLENT THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE, since 1994 www.eptribe.com/irene

FREE, FULL FEATURED Online Appointment & Resource Booking solu-

CLASS ES/WORKSHOPS

ACTING

206-420-1309. Seattleworkshops@aol.com. http:// www.classesandworkshops.com

CARTOONING 1-DAY WORKSHOP. Meets in May. For more information, call 206-367-1919, or email Seattleworkshops@aol.com. For a full list of classes, visit http://www. classesandworkshops.com.

DRAWING AND PAINTING CLASSES. Fun, affordable one-day workshops. Held on the U.W. campus; open to the public. Http://www. classesandworkshops.com. 206-3671919.

FIGURE DRAWING - learn the basics in a fact-packed one-day workshop. 206-367-1919. http://www.classesandworkshops.com

IT’S TIME TO write your SCREENPLAY! New class this fall. For dates, times and tuition email Seattleworkshops@aol.com or call 206-367-1919

OTHER

LEARN THE BASICS of drawing in this 1-day workshop in April. Fun, affordable. http://www.classesandworkshops.com Or call 206-367-1919

MAKING MOVIES. IN MAKING MOVIES. In this intensive, informationpacked class, yo’ll learn all about the process of making an independent film. http:/www.classesandworkshops. com. Call 206-367-1919 or email Seattleworkshops@aol.com

NEW CLASS; HOW to make a film documentary! http://www.classesandworkshops.com

PHOTOSHOP FOR BEGINNERS! Whether you’re a total beginner, a home user, or a graphics professional, this class will help. $150 for four weeks. http://www.classesandworkshops.com 206-367-1919.

WRITING FICTION AND SHORT STORIES. In this class, students’ll write short stories and get feedback from the instructor and others in the class. 206-367-1919. www.classesandworkshops.com

I’M

MUSIC INSTRUCTION & SERVICES

LOOKING FOR OLD bastards to start a hardcore band... I miss it. I was in a bunch of bands (checkout ReverbNation or Facebook for Castle Blood or Travesty) but can’t find anyone... Interested? Contact me: Charlie = cgriffith1965@gmail.com

PIANIST AVAILABLE

I’m Richard Peterson, 64 year old composer, arranger, and pianist.

I’m available to play parties, weddings, clubs, shows, etc. $200/gig. Covers and originals. Please call 206-325-5271, Thank You! CD available.

SINGER THAT WANTS to write original music. I’ve had a fair amount of training and have lyrics with some music written. My influences include: classic & alternative rock, new wave, many genres. moja26@yahoo.com

VERSATILE BASS PLAYER looking for established/working band. Part-time jobs, serious inquiries only.NO hardrock, heavy metal! www.myspace.com/ basstibi

WWW.REVERBNATION.COM/

ARISENFROMNOTHING REGUEST

THEM TO PLAY IN YOUR AREA!The band has enjoyed airplay on Seattle’s 102.5 KZOK FM’s “Bob Rivers Show”, KISW 99.9 “Loud and Local” and KATS 94.5 Request them in your area, donnhill8@me.com

MUSICIANS WANTED

DANGERFIELD NEWBY PLAYS original indie pop/rock and has fun doing it. All the pieces are in place we just need the bass! Guided by Voices, Death Cab, Wilco, Edith Piaf, David Lee Roth (solo era - Yankee Rose). On Soundcloud.

ELECTRIC PIANO, ORGAN, sonic keyboard musician wanted for original rock trio, (older), for local shows, and possibly further. Nick Cave, Pavement, Fall, Modern Lovers, early Stones, George Jones and more... amateurs and enthusiasts preferred.

ELECTRONIC MUSICIANS/ PROGRAMMERS/COMPOSERS; CALL ME AT 206-860-3534

FREE AND COMPLETE articles on Songwriting, Recording, Self-Releasing and Promoting your own songs at www.MyCD.ca

GUITARIST SEEKING BASS guitar and drummer. I have been working on songs. My major influence is smile empty soul so check them out to know what sound im goin for contact 253 329 6121 jon

LEAD GUITARIST NEEDED for Original Metal/Metalcore Band (Tacoma/UP/Fircrest)TEXT FIRST 253278-0400 for more details. Samples of your playing would be appreciated.

LOOKING FOR FEMALE vocalists in Seattle area to make electronic/alt music. Please email me for details. Looking to start a duet and gig and sell music. Contact: steve132@iname.com

METAL. GLENN. 206.331.6222. mrwholewheat@gmail.com. Seattle. 30yo. Student, dad, guitarist, songwriter, recording engineer. I’m mostly nice and have long hair and a Lemmy beard. Contact for musical samples, and have your own ready for me.

METALIBÜXX, SEATTLE’S

PREMIER 80’s hard rock purveyors, seek new LEAD GUITARIST. Dio, Ratt, Priest, Ozzy, Scorpions, Rush, more! YOU play the solos, get the groupies! Crazy fun. Club Gigs and festivals. See http://www.youtube.com/metalibuxx find us on Facebook, then email stonemary0@gmail.com

NOW LEGAL! SEATTLE’S NOW LEGAL! Seattle’s Premier Green Marching Band Small local non-profit seeks Horns, Woodwinds, Percussion for newly forming Seattle Green Marching Band. 18+, dependable, fun folks wanted to play summer events in and around Seattle. Noon-7pm 206-462-1415

SCRUMPTIOUS AND THE Backbeat, soul rock band from Seattle, now auditioingn brass players (sax, trumpet, trombone, etc). Basic theory and/or songwriting skills a plus. We perform about 1-2 times/month. For band info, music, and contact info check www.andthebackbeat.com

STREET MUSICIANS WANTED for Online Busking. Perform online by webcam for tips. Viewers tip on website with virtual tokens, cash out tokens through PayPal for real cash. www.StreetJelly.com

YOU A DRUMMER? We want to play live. We just need you. Ready to record. Bits of influence from Tool, Muse, Radiohead, Placebo. Please give the songs a listen and determine if it is right for you: www.obolband.com

RECORDING/REHEARSAL

BAND REHEARSAL SPACE 1 Shared Room @$210/month Incl. 36hrs/month & Private closet and Private Rooms @ $500/mo. Call 425-445-9165 or Visit wildersoundstudios.com Located in SODO Seattle

COURT OF WASHINGTON COUNTY OF KING In re the Custody of: KB, Child, Alison Kimura, Petitioner Russ’ett Cantrell & Thomas Bolding, Respondents. No:12-3-08153-4 SEA. Summons by Publication (SMPB) To the Respondent:

1. The petitioner has started an action in the above court requesting: [x] custody of the children listed in paragraph 1.3 of the Nonparental Custody Petition.

2. The petition also requests that the court grant the following relief: [x] Enter a domestic violence protection order. [x] Award the tax exemptions for the dependent children as follows: To Petitioner.

3. You must respond to this summons by serving a copy of your written response on the person signing this summons and by filing the original with the clerk of the court. If you do not serve your written response within 60 days after the date of the first publication of this summons (60 days after the 16th day of January, 2013). the court may enter an order of default against you, and the court may, without further notice to you, enter a decree and approve or provide for other relief requested in this summons. In the case of a dissolution, the court will not enter the final decree until at least 90 days after service and filing. If you serve a notice of appearance on the undersigned person, you are entitled to notice before an order of default or a decree may be entered.

4.Your written response to the summons and petition must be on form: [x] WPF CU 01.0300, Response to Nonparental Custody Proceeding. Information about how to get this form may be obtained by contacting the clerk ofthe court, by contacting the Administrative Office of the Courts at (360) 705-5328, or from the Internet at the Washington State Courts homepage: http://www.courts.wa.gov/forms

5. If you wish to seek the advice of an

Read bucketloads more (or place your own) online at www.thestranger.com/personals

BUDDBAYBRUNCH EYES, SMILES, WAVE

You: brunching alone at BBCafe. Me: w/ my family (mom, sis, and my kids) staring (sorry!) trying to figure out if I knew you. Eventually you smiled and waved and the most I could do was smile back. Coffee/ drink sometime? When: Sunday, February 3, 2013. Where: Budd Bay Cafe, Oly. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919389

LITTLE GIRLS’ ROOM PIZZA

First met in line for the ladies’ at Linda’s February 2nd. Then we bumped into each other buying pizza at Hot Mama’s and you so graciously bought me a slice. Casey, I’d love to buy you a drink in return. When: Saturday, February 2, 2013. Where: Linda’s, Hot Mama’s. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #919388

D ROUTE 3RD&PIKE-INTERBAY!

We have seen each other @ 3rd & Pike, got on the D route, got off in Interbay. you are Fem, tall, brunnette, (TS?), Me 5’11”, athletic build, brown hair & eyes, baseballcap, purple or navy jacket. When: Thursday, January 24, 2013. Where: Downtown. You: Transsexual (male to female). Me: Man. #919387

DREAD HEAD @ HAVANA

Saturday @ Havana. HOT Bartender with Dreads I couldn’t help but feel my cheeks turn red when you’d smile at me. You don’t look like Riff Raff to me. I’d love to steal you away. Please say you’ll let me! When: Saturday, January 26, 2013. Where: Havana. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919385

LUCID DREAMS

You handed me a note that said ‘you are a dream’, then you disappeared. I hope you didn’t mean it, maybe we can share a cup and figure out if its true. When: Sunday, January 20, 2013. Where: Cafe LadroQueen Anne. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919384

JEFF

Thanks for the Hall & Oates and the free beer and the flirting. When: Wednesday, January 30, 2013. Where: Big Mario’s. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919383

M, THE UNICEF VOLUNTEER

Your name starts with an M, and we both happen to be from the same country. :) I was already a UNICEF donor, so we said goodbye quickly. But I was sorry I didn’t talk to you more! When: Wednesday, January 30, 2013. Where: downtown Seattle. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919382

OUT FRONT FATHER JOHN MISTY

You were ripping on the fixie rider with no fenders, was sharing my cig. Would have asked if you cared for another Matt if you hadn’t ran off so quick ;) When: Tuesday, January 29, 2013. Where: Neptune. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919381

THE GERALD IN BALLARD

1/27

You were a server at The Gerald while I was with my friend for brunch. You had cute thick-rimmed glasses and made up some strong Irish coffees. I was too chicken to leave my phone number. Irish coffee sometime? When: Sunday, January 27, 2013. Where: The Gerald in Ballard. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919380

MYSTERIOUS MOUSTACHE MAN NYE COUPEVILLE

Johnny Bulldog NYE in Coupeville & 1/20 at the Ballard Sunday Marketyou: Carharrt coat, messenger bag of recycled tires. What’s your whidbey-seattle connection?! was with the group of older women, red wool tank top, sorry to leave early! When: Monday, December 31, 2012. Where: Coupeville. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919379

HANDSOME LITTLE LESBIAN

I see you almost every day, wandering the streets of Capitol Hill with your leopard gloves and sexy lips. I have never seen a more charming human in all of my life. I want you, come get me. I’m yours. When: Monday, January 28, 2013. Where: Capitol Hill. You: Woman. Me: Woman. #919378

ALKI BIRD DEBATING BEAUTY

Saw you strolling on the beach last Thursday night wearing a teal jacket and arguing with a bird, it was awesome, I was the guy who asked you if you saw the seal pup that took my wallet. :o When: Thursday, January 24, 2013. Where: Alki Beach, near Spud’s. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919376

SCAVENGER HUNT ASSISTANT

Most handsome of the fruit stand guys in Pike’s Place. I’m the blue haired babe who charmed you into helping me with my scavenger hunt. Hey guess what? I won, I’d like to get you a drink with the spoils. When: Monday, January 28, 2013. Where: Pike’s Place. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919375

DRIVE-THRU BLUES

Lovely Johna: too much time passes between conversations. I feel a spark. Your dark eyes enchant me and intrigue me. Do you want to grab a coffee and talk about our interesting names? When: Sunday, January 27, 2013. Where: drive-thru window. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919374

GREEN JACKET LEAVING

ONN/OF

I couldn’t take my eyes of of you (I guess that’s how we spell “off” now?), and was rewarded with your smile in return. ran outside, but you were nowhere to be seen. Are we ONN or OF? When: Sunday, January 27, 2013. Where: Capitol Hill. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919373

DANCING WALKMEN BEAUTY

You were dancing next to me at The Walkmen show last night. You: Long blonde hair, lovely smile, and a vodka tonic. Your friend was blond too. Me: Dark blonde hair, grey sweater, glasses. Sorry for being kind of shy. When: Sunday, January 27, 2013. Where: Walkmen show @ The Neptune. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919372

MACY’S NORTHGATE COMFORTER SHOPPING

Beautiful blond gal with a blue hand bag in the bedding section at Macy’s. We talked some and you helped me find the right comforter. Wish I’d asked for your number...meet me for coffee or tea? When: Sunday, January 27, 2013. Where: Macy’s. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919371

PRETTY BLONDE ON MAGNOLIA TRAIL

Up the hill from the tracks bridge I passed you and looked back, and you were looking too. It was too dark to talk to you, and was a laughing to myself about being caught. Coffee in the daylight? When: Sunday, January 27, 2013. Where: Magnolia. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919370

TRIBAL @ REBAR

You M_ _ _n me J_ _ _ _e, meant to grab your info but left before I could do so. Bought me a drink and wanted to return the favor. Hit me up or see you at Tribal. When: Friday, January 25, 2013. Where: Rebar. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919369

BEANIEBOI AT ANALOG COFFEE

You: Cute boy in a beanie with possible Herschel backpack. We sometimes see each other see on the 49 at UW and at Analog Coffee. Me: Girl who awkwardly half-smiled at you. Next time I’ll wink. When: Wednesday, January 16, 2013. Where: Analog Coffee. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919368

YMCA DOWNTOWN GAVE ME

DOLLAR

You:M, Out of towner wanting to swim at the YMCA. You gave me a dollar to pay my bill. Thank you! got tongue tied you were so handsome. Wish I had asked you your name. When: Tuesday, January 22, 2013. Where: Downtown Seattle YMCA. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919367

CENTRAL COOP BULK FOODS

You: Gorgeous blonde, thigh-length down coat, gold-heeled boots. You were chatting with the bulk foods worker about smoothie formulations. Me: Handsome, brown hair stocking up on banana chips. We: Our eyes exchanged intention and sexual energy. When: Wednesday, January 23, 2013. Where: Central Co-op. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919365

KATIE FROM RUDY’S

You cut my hair & told me to read “I saw u’s”. Here’s hoping you read them. You were down on the world and considering moving to a Colorado forest. Tried to give you hope, failed. Let me try again? When: Friday, January 18, 2013. Where: Capitol Hill. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919363

SMILING IN THE RAIN You were a very cute, bubbly young woman who commented on my smile. Our interaction made my day. I was the blue-coated, smiling, and wet individual you happened upon in downtown Ballard. Would you care to have a drink sometime? When: Wednesday, January 23, 2013. Where: Downtown Ballard, near Swedish. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919362

CAPITOL HILL SLOW WALK

I had 3 bags and walked slowly in cowboy boots. You walked behind me, I could sense your faster pace and yet patience. Brightest smile, a sweet hi. You asked “How are you?” Thank you. The moment made my day...truly. When: Wednesday, December 19, 2012. Where: N. Capitol Hill Near Top Pot. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919361

HIGH LINE CAKEAROKE

CANCELLED

Blonde girl with a white iPhone at the bar. I was the black haired guy with black glasses. asked about karaoke and left soon after that. I should have struck up a conversation. When: Tuesday, January 22, 2013. Where: Capitol Hill. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919360

ROANOKE OVERPASS

TUESDAY EVE 1/22

You: Arrestingly attractive man in Jeep, Me: Completely taken and shy woman in Subaru. Wish I was brave enough to jump out and say hi, or give you my number, or hell, just kiss you. When: Tuesday, January 22, 2013. Where: Roanoke overpass. You: Man. Me: Woman. #919358

PALACE KITCHEN BAR U: Gorgeous, black boots, urban outfitters jacket, eating a burger and drinking a beer. I was in love when I saw you take a bite. I hope its not too serious with that doofus you were next too. Zippy’s sometime? When: Sunday, January 20, 2013. Where: downtown seattle. You: Woman. Me: Man. #919357

DESMOINES LIBRARY, UNWAVERING EYE CONTACT You were entering library, I was leaving. Me, curly hair, looking like shit, walking with cane. You, tall

SAVAGE LOVE

I’m a 27-year-old man in a two-year relationship with a 26-year-old woman. My last partner cheated and lied and did some unforgivable things. I wasn’t blameless—I stayed with her long after I realized it wasn’t working—but our relationship did unearth a kink. After I found out about her cheating, I got extremely turned on thinking about it. I never told her.

Enter my next girlfriend. We were together a few months before I brought up my kink. She was very accommodating (dirty talk about her cheating, making up stories about cheating) and then, after some months, she admitted that it was something she wanted to try in real life. I said I was okay with it as long as I had the option to pursue other partners as well. We agreed on some rules and gave it a shot. She set up a date through OKCupid and had sex with someone; I hooked up with an ex. Everything seemed to be turning out great. Then two weeks later, she got drunk and told me she had seen the OKCupid guy again without asking. I was so upset, I nearly broke up with her. Having the guidelines ignored felt like a betrayal. She later admitted to seeing him one other time without talking to me first.

I’m a guy who can’t orgasm during oral sex. I can during vaginal. It’s frustrating, as I can see it bothers my girlfriend. But while I get close, I don’t quite reach the apex of that hill. I suspect it’s a control issue. During vaginal, I have some level of control—during oral, I don’t. Help.

Almost There

Maybe it’s not a control issue, AT. Maybe oral doesn’t do it for you—it can’t get you up and over them thar hills—because… oral doesn’t do it for you. If it were your girlfriend who had difficulty climaxing from oral alone—let’s say she required a vibrator to get her over them thar hills—the standard-issue, sex-positive, lady-empowering advice would be to accept that it’s just the way her pussy works. I would order you to incorporate the vibrator into oral and/or vaginal sex and not stress out about it. And if you were putting pressure on your girlfriend—if you were making it clear to her that this “inability” to climax from your oral skills alone bothered you, if you were having a sad each time she “failed” to climax during oral—I would slap you around for being an insecure prick. Why shouldn’t the same advice apply here?

Dancing Bare

Are we going through the normal trip-ups of a newly open relationship? Or are these lies an indication that she can’t be trusted? I feel like it might be hard to find someone else who is into my kink and maybe we’re just having a hard time navigating polyamory. I love my partner, and I want to make this cuckolding thing work if we can. Suck it up or break it off?

Confused Upon Cheating Kink

Your letter confused me, CUCK. Here’s why: You describe your relationship as open, then as poly, then as a “cuckolding thing.”

First things first: Polyamorous relationships and open relationships are two different things. Some poly relationships are open, but many poly relationships are closed—that is, three people (or more) are involved with each other exclusively, i.e., no randoms, no romancing potential fourths, fifths, or sixths. The reverse is also true: Not all open relationships are poly. Two people in an open relationship may allow fucking around with other people with the understanding that there will be no dating or— God forbid—falling in love with anyone else.

And then there’s cuckolding. The whole “cuckolding thing” is about the female half of a heterosexual couple breaking the rules and then rubbing her partner’s nose in the evidence of her cheating. (Some cuckolds get off on literally having their noses rubbed in the evidence.) Cuckolding is eroticized betrayal, CUCK, and you spent months fantasizing with your girlfriend about being betrayed. All that dirty talk, all those made-up stories—remember? But when it came time to turn your fantasies into reality, CUCK, you laid out the rules for what sounds like a fairly standard open-not-poly relationship: She could fuck other people and so could you. Once again, I’m confused: The cuckold in a “cuckolding thing” typically doesn’t get to fuck around. He gets fucked around on. If your discussions with your girlfriend were as confusing as your letter, CUCK, it’s possible that she was likewise confused. It’s possible that she thought the rules applied to you and not to her. It’s possible that she figured she was free to break the rules because betrayal turned you on. Now she knows that betrayal turns you on as a fantasy and not a reality.

I’m giving your girlfriend the benefit of the doubt here, CUCK, but seeing as you love her and want to make this work, and seeing as girlfriends who are open to cuckolding are hard to come by, on, and in, I think you should give her the benefit of the doubt, too. Time will tell if she’s an honest “cheater” who can be trusted or a lying cheater who must be dumped.

Vaginal gets you all the way there, oral gets you almost all the way there—maybe that’s just how your dick works. On the off chance there could be a psychological block, AT, experiment with letting her get you almost all the way there and then stroke yourself to get the rest of the way there. Stroke to the point of no return— “orgasmic inevitability”—and then put your dick back in her mouth and blow your load. With time and without sads, AT, you may find the number of strokes you need to get up and over the hill diminishing until you don’t need them at all. Or you may not—because this may be how your dick works.

My girlfriend and I are having sex on a notso-every-day basis, but that doesn’t matter anyways. The thing is, I’ve been lasting longer and longer every time we do have sex. However, she can’t last as long as I can, and eventually we’ll start having to use lube and then maybe 30 minutes later, it’ll start to hurt more. As if I’m “tearing” her or something. I’m left “blue balled” for fear of hurting her further, and she feels bad for not having me finish. What do I do? Fake it or just use copious amounts of lube?

Bluer And Bluer Balls

Who says you can’t finish? If it’s taking you forever, and your girlfriend’s pussy is giving out, pull out and stroke yourself until you finish. You could also incorporate strategic stroke breaks into your fuck sessions, BABB, to get you closer to the edge and give her pussy a rest. And you might find she’s able to last longer if you engage in a little midplay—think foreplay, but halfway through—during those stroke breaks: Make out while you stroke yourself, eat her pussy, play with her clit. I bet your girlfriend will need less lube if she’s less bored and/or more turned on during those epic fuck sessions. n

SEATTLE READERS: We’re doing a live taping of the Savage Lovecast for SINGLE PEOPLE ONLY at the Neptune Theater on February 14. There will be free lap dances, a bondage demo with Twisted Monk, music courtesy of DJ TROUBLE, sex advice from me and Mistress Matisse, the Human Cupcake, and much more. Tickets are available through STG (tinyurl.com/savlov). Be there! This event is for SINGLE PEOPLE ONLY. (But since we can’t discriminate against coupled people—damnit—it’s for everyone!)

My new book— American Savage: Insights, Slights, and Fights on Faith, Sex, Love, and Politics —comes out in May. Order it now!

mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

JOE NEWTON

RYAN HENRY WARD LOVES YOU LIKE A LITTLE KITTY