NMSN Spring 2017

CAREER CONNECTIONS March 15, 2017, Vol. 5, Issue 1

Join us on the road!

2017 Roadshow

SAN ANTONIO  TACOMA  FT.WALTON BEACH

www.nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

TABLE OF

CONTENTS

8 Fear of Moving Forward

10 Recovering from a Mistake on the Job

12 Does Conflict Really = Opportunity?

16 Converting Feedback into Action

18 Swallowing Your Pride‌ Like A Big Bitter Pill

20 Spring Trends for Work and Play

22 Protecting Your Business With Layers

24 Federal Job FAQs for Military Spouses

26 Why the Rise of Returning Professional Internships is Significant for Military Spouses

28 Who Am I? Thinking beyond my military spouse identity

30 Not Just Another Milspouse Conference

33 Bring the hustle or stay home No part of this publication can be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form without the written permission of the Publisher.

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President’s Letter BY

Sue Hoppin

We all need a tribe. A group of people who just get us. People who don’t require an elaborate backstory because they’ve walked in our shoes. Imagine your relief at finding a group of military spouses that you really connect with every time you’ve PCSed. They become the friends you celebrate and commiserate with, the family that you get to pick. They make the assignment.

It’s that same feeling that makes people come back to our Annual Military Spouse Career Summit year after year. Yes, we have great speakers and networking opportunities, but what makes our events stand out are the people we attract – professional military spouses already building businesses and careers, military spouse friendly employers who already get it, helping organizations and others who work with military spouse and family issues. It’s an opportunity like none other to engage in professional development curated specifically to the needs of military spouses and others who have to balance their career goals and ambitions with a transient lifestyle.

But, we’ve heard from many of you who can’t make it to the DC area for the summit in the fall. That’s why we’re thrilled to launch these roadshow events! Thanks to partners and sponsors such as USAA and the University of Washington Tacoma, we’re going to be able to help more military spouses by bringing these mini-summits right to you! You can find more information and register at www.nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org.

So, if you live in the San Antonio, Tacoma or Ft. Walton Beach areas, we hope you’ll join us for these inaugural events. We look forward to seeing you on the road!

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MEET THE

EXPERTS

CAROL BOWSER is the president

JANET FARLEY offers military

SUE HOPPIN is the founder and

of Conflict Management Strategies Inc. and is an expert in workplace conflict - what creates it and how to resolve it. While she HATES arguments, she loves maintaining sanity and increasing production by jumping into conflict to fully resolve it. “…What I really like is listening to people’s stories and working outside the legal system to repair workplace relationships…” She received her law degree from Seattle University School of Law and her Mediation Training through Pierce County Center for Dispute Resolution. Carol is a speaker, trainer, and consultant for employers on how to avoid workplace conflict.

service members and their families her own brand of straight-forward career management and job search advice. Janet is the author of the Military-to-Civilian Career Transition Guide, 2nd Edition, the Military Spouse’s Complete Guide to Career Success and she writes the JobTalk column for Stars and Stripes Newspaper. She is also the Home Front columnist for the Military Officer’s of America (MoAA) and contributing editor to Bradley-Morris, Inc.,’s Civilian Job News. “…As a Marine Corps brat and Army wife... making that positive difference for military service members and their families seemed like the right direction for me…”

president of the National Military Spouse Network, a consultant on military family issues and the co-author of, “A Family’s Guide to the Military for Dummies”. Before founding the NMSN, Sue served as the first deputy director for spouse outreach for a military affiliated non-profit with a 375,000+ membership. She is a recognized subject matter expert on military spouse and family issues and has spoken to audiences nationwide ranging from installation career events to leadership training sessions and national conferences.

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Sue holds a bachelor’s degree in international studies from the University of Denver, a master’s degree in international relations from the University of Oklahoma and a post graduate certificate in non-profit management from Georgetown University.

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JOYCE NEAVE is an authority on

AMY SCHOFIELD ACWR has been

FRED WELLMAN is a retired

fashion and style. Joyce has been empowering clients for over twenty years. As the owner of That Mom Inc, and now JOYCE NEAVE style group, her work has been featured in the Washington Post, theWashington Times, Washingtonian Magazine, and Bethesda Magazine among others.

Joyce has been featured on WUSA9 News highlighting her wardrobe consulting practice and providing viewers with valuable insights.

in the recruiting, career coaching, and resume writing fields for 10+ years. She has provided resume development strategies to job seekers worldwide with various backgrounds and experience levels. In April 2011, Amy launched Schofield Strategies.

She has appeared in numerous media sources delivering resume tips, including GI Jobs, Business Talk Radio, Reserve and National Guard Magazine, Army Wife Talk Radio, and Blue Star Families. Schofield Strategies was the recipient of the 2013 Military Family Member Community Heartbeat Award. Amy holds an elite Academy Certified Resume Writer credential.

Army officer turned serial and social entrepreneur. He is a graduate of West Point and the Harvard Kennedy School serving 22 years in the Army as an aviator and public affairs officer and four combat tours. He is the Founder and CEO of ScoutComms, a B Corp communications and advocacy firm focused on veterans and military families. He and his wife Crystal also co-own Ladyburg Bath and Body Apothecary, a growing handmade bath and body retail boutique with locations in Fredericksburg and Old Town Alexandria, Virginia.

Joyce styles both women and men and is a consultant for several media companies, associations, newspapers, and online magazines. Joyce and her team keep clients current with fashion trends while maintaining a classic, timeless look.

Joyce Neave style group collaborates with a network of professionals providing a wide range of services including makeup artists, hair stylists, men’s grooming specialists, photographers, and our preferred tailors.

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In addition to serving as the Entrepreneur in Residence for NMSN, Fred also serves on the National Board of Directors for the National Desert Storm War Memorial and the Board of Advisors for No One Left Behind.

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MEET THE

EXPERTS

JULIE WATERS was lucky enough to choose a career that easily transfers between employers as her husband’s assignments moved them from city to city. She holds a special interest in career building for military spouses as she feels it is important to have something personal outside of our military lifestyle.

cians Organization in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and the Military Officers Association of America in Alexandria, Virginia where she served as the Director of Human Resources.

Julie currently resides in Spokane, Washington where she is the Human Resources and Operations Manager for a law firm.

Over the last 13 years, Julie Waters has held various Human Resource positions starting her career at FHC Health Systems in Norfolk, Virginia, then moving to Landrum Professional Services in Pensacola, Florida, Cambridge Health Alliance Physi-

Julie was born and raised in Washington State. She graduated from the University of Washington with a BA in English and earned an MS in Human Resources Management from Troy University. She is also a certified Professional in Human Resources.

DR. KRISTA WELLS is a certified professional coach dedicated to empowering military spouses. In her private practice, she focuses on improving her clients’ health, increasing their wealth, and strengthening their relationships. In addition to her private clients, Krista offers keynote speeches, workshops for organizations and military bases, and writes for various military publications.

She recently launched The Military Spouse Show podcast in an effort to expand her reach and connect with the broader military spouse community.

Interested in writing for us?

Contact us at info@milspousenetwork.org 6 | NMSN Magazine

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Fear of Moving Forward

BY NANCY BELMONT

L

ast week in yoga, our teacher was explaining the crow pose to the group. To prepare for the pose, you squat, put your hands on the floor, bend your elbows, and put your knees on your triceps. The key to the pose is to shift your weight forward until you can lift your toes off the floor. This is a scary pose when you first start, because you feel like your face will smash into the floor. And let’s face it, nobody wants their face smashing into the floor.

When explaining this pose, our teacher said, “Some people have a fear of moving forward.” As a student of courage, the phrase struck me as one to examine off the mat.

Earlier that day, I had conducted my first Courage Conversations interview (intimate talks with people who I think are leading courageous lives). My hope is to gain deeper insights into what builds courage and share those stories with the world so we can all live bigger, bolder, more authentic lives.

My first talk was with Maria Elizabeth, owner of Salon deZEN in Old Town, Alexandria. Maria shared that she has always had a passion for overcoming her fears. She thought back to her childhood. “I had this thing when I was a really young kid, that I was scared of the dark. I would make myself go walk into a dark woods, to get over the

fear, because I knew it wasn’t rational. So now when I do feel fear, I examine it and walk through that dark hallway anyway.”

I found this story to be incredibly inspirational. I don’t know about you, but when I afraid of the dark as a child, I made sure my blankets were tucked in so tightly that the monsters from under the bed couldn’t get to me. Even today, I can feel the pull of wanting to protect myself against my fears rather than walking boldly through them.

If you tend to tuck yourself more tightly when you’re unsure of yourself, you’re not alone. In fact, the majority of people I talk to have something they’re holding back from themselves and the world.

The key to summoning courage is to identify the fear that’s holding you back and articulate a passion that’s more powerful than the fear.

Last October at the National Military Spouse Network Career Summit, a woman in the audience volunteered to work with me in front of the group. Something had been holding her back from fully committing to her dream of launching a travel agency. She had done the prep work, and everything looked good on paper, but she found she wasn’t moving forward.

I walked her through my courage formula: Passion > Fear = Courage Once we were able to name the underlying fear, it suddenly had less power over her. When we identified her true passion, the

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fear seemed to melt away. What sounds so simple was actually incredibly profound. She was finally able to figure out what had been holding her back and left feeling empowered and committed to moving forward.

As we move forward, in crow pose or in life, consider these questions:

• What would happen if you walked forward into that fear, instead of pushing it away?

• What fear is holding you back from living your biggest, boldest, most authentic life?

• What action could you take today as a first step in living a more courageous life?

If you feel a calling to make a change, just remember, the monsters you fear aren’t real. Try naming your fear. Bring it in close.

Break it down. Examine it. Then, think about your reason for being.

What is it that you are here to do?

What calling is burning inside of you? Then, with your true passion as your shield, move forward with courage.

Nancy Belmont is the CEO of Vessence Corporation (formerly Belmont, Inc.) and leader of the #WeLiveBig community. Nancy focuses her work on promoting human flourishing, continually inspiring authenticity and increasing individual and collective consciousness for a more unified, vibrant world. Vessence works with individuals, teams and organizations to find their essence and give it voice through words, images and actions. Nancy believes that once people and teams identify their unique selves, and live into that more fully, they can have more impact and feel more fulfilled. Nancy works with individuals who want to flourish as leaders, teams who want to build community and organizations who want to grow authentic brands. Over the years, Nancy has worked with United Way Worldwide, the Global Fund to End Slavery, the Architect of the Capitol, The U.S. Army, The British Embassy’s British Council and ExxonMobil, to name a few.

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Recovering from a Mistake on the Job

BY JANET FARLEY

O

n the job and off, everybody makes mistakes.

Everybody has bad days. You forget about a deadline or an appointment. You “reply all” to an email when you really shouldn’t have. You open your mouth and adeptly insert your foot, sometimes two at a time. It happens. However, it’s what you do after you make those mistakes that makes the difference.

If you choose to do nothing, then expect to ultimately suffer the consequences. You may not suffer them immediately, but somewhere along the line of life, fate will catch up to you. Call it karma, just desserts or fate.

What goes around comes around and you know it.

On the other hand, you can get past your faux pas if you implement these five, sometimes not so simple, steps.

1. Admit the error of your ways. Start by first admitting it to yourself. Denial isn’t just the name 10 | NMSN Magazine

of a river in Egypt, you know. It’s the name of that thing inside of us that refuses to believe we could possibly have done something so stupid, thoughtless, careless or (fill in the blank with your own dose of self-flagellation). We can be a tough audience on ourselves at time but not seeing reality for what it is can be a real professional obstacle on many levels. As hard as it may be, own up to your mistakes. Your future career path will thank you.

2. Launch into damage control mode. After you’ve congratulated yourself for admitting your mistake, assess the damage done. Did you mess up on grand scale? Do you need a good lawyer, a good cry and/or a good friend to help you see the situation more clearly? Or are you making a bigger deal out of it than is called for? Sometimes, it’s hard to differentiate between what happened and what we think happened. For the moment,

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try to remove yourself from the situation and objectively analyze the facts so you can figure out the next appropriate step.

3. Make amends. All that may be called for is a heartfelt apology. Or not. Depending upon the nature of your professional crime, you may need to do much more than that. You may have to work double-time to try and set things right again. In fact, you may never fully recover from what happened or it may be forgotten by the next day. The point is that you should make amends if they are truly required. Identify the wronged parties and fix what you messed up as best you can.

4. G et over it. Whether or not anyone else does, you must get over it. Continually beating yourself up over a mistake isn’t going to do you any good whatsoever. Accept that you are human and you are not perfect. Or at least you weren’t perfect in that single, solitary moment in time. In the end, it’s really quite simple. You can’t always control what happens in the minds of others but you can control what happens in your own.

5. L earn from it. Owning, fixing and getting over your professional mistakes will all be for naught

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if you don’t bother learning from them along the way.

My name is [fill in the blank] and I made a mistake. I admit that to myself. I assessed the damage done and made amends wherever feasibly possible. I am over it and I hope those who I offended in whatever manner are able to ultimately get past it too without holding a negative grudge in the process. What’s more, I will learn from my mistakes so that I may avoid making the same stupid ones again in the future.

You may not have to write the above statement 100 times on your mobile device of choice, but it wouldn’t hurt to run it through you own mind once or twice if you are struggling with a bad situation. Positive selftalk is a beautiful thing.

Life on the job can be messy at times.

Clean it up.

Janet Farley writes about job search and workplace issues.

She is the author of The Military Spouse’s Guide to Employment: Smart Job Choices for Mobile Lifestyles (Impact Pubs, 2012) and Quick Military Transition Guide: Seven Steps to Landing a Civilian Job (Jist, Inc., 2012). Follow her on Twitter @smartjobchoices for timely tips and career inspiration.

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Does Conflict Really = Opportunity?

BY CAROL BOWSER

I

f every conflict really was an opportunity, shouldn’t we react with excitement and enthusiasm? We don’t because the “costs” associated with the “opportunity” are generally pretty high. At least, we perceive the costs to be high. Because…

room. Yes, it can also create a more cohesive working group. However, to state that “Conflict = Opportunity” fails to address that for every opportunity there exists an “Opportunity Cost.”

The conflict takes me away from what I want to spend my time and resources on.

Economists would tell us that an ‘opportunity cost’ is “the cost of something in terms of an opportunity forgone …and the benefits that could be received from that opportunity...”

When faced with a conflict, we intuitively calculate the cost of engaging and decide that the initial investment is too high: emotional tension, derailment from other work, and unforeseen investment of time.

The Cost of “Opportunity” Yes, effectively addressing conflict can provide great opportunities to leverage all the brainpower in the

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What is an “Opportunity Cost” Anyway?

Why Should You Care?

Think back to the last time that a “conflict”, “problem”, “tension” or whichever euphemism you prefer to use occurred. (It might have been this morning).

How did the news hit you?

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I bet that your internal dialogue was something like this. “Good Grief!” “Now what?” “Oh *#!#**!” “Again?”

(Well, maybe it is just me.)

You were calculating your Opportunity Cost!

Did you think about the “other guy”? How if he doesn’t feel “heard” what sort of opportunity costs that might mean for the organization? More disruption, disunity, tension, or gripping? A missed opportunity to reach resolution can cost the organization in morale and loss of productivity.

What To Do. Take 60 seconds to discover the “other guy’s” opportunity costs. See how the situation impacts the other person, not just your lost opportunity. Evaluate the results. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Action Tools to Assess your “Opportunity Costs.”

Wikipedia tells us that “[a]ssessing opportunity costs is fundamental to assessing the true cost of any course of action.” So here are some action tools to help you out.

• Get Out of your own frame of reference. Try and see why the issue from the other guy’s point of view. Why is it important to him or her? He/She is not just an inconvenience to you.

• Determine if you are reacting to the actual situation or responding based on old wounds or pre-conceived ideas.

• Evaluate the Long Term Benefit. If you take the time and energy now, will it help You get what you want in the long term? Some results that are worth the effort are: Better working relationships, increased respect, and a good reputation in the workplace.

• Calculate the Cost of Not Acting. If you do not do something what will happen to you? The group? The other guy?

Use these tools to improve your capabilities and improve working relationships. Try it and let me know how it goes!

Organizations hire Conflict Management Strategies, Inc. to increase productivity by easing workplace conflict and tension, to train employees in conflict resolution skills, to evaluate internal conflict resolution processes, to coach key employees to higher levels of performance and to facilitate tangible change within the working environment.

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Sponsored Content

What Exactly is an IRA?

BY JJ MONTANARO, CFP®, USAA

What Is an IRA? Before I answer this question, I’ll share another one that I’m asked frequently.

The specific IRA you select will govern the tax treatment of the account, not the returns. Let’s look at two common IRA types.

“What are IRAs paying?”

Traditional IRAs

When someone asks me this question, I bite my tongue and think about candy bar wrappers, envelopes and garages.

Traditional IRAs have been around since the 1980s. They provide deferral of taxes on the investment income inside the account and in certain circumstances can lower your taxes when you contribute. Unfortunately though, not everyone can deduct their contribution to an IRA. Here’s a link to the IRS rules on the topic. The trade-offs? First, you generally can’t use traditional IRA money before age 59 1/2 without incurring penalties. And second, you’ll eventually have to pay taxes when you pull the money out.

I’m not kidding. I’ve found these analogies to be a helpful way to keep from uttering a snarky “nothing” in response to the inquiry.

Why nothing? Because contrary to what some people think, an IRA itself is not an investment. It’s really just a special type of account established by the government to encourage folks to save for retirement. It’s an account Uncle Sam makes more enticing by offering special tax treatment to those willing to commit for the long haul.

Those tax benefits can make IRAs an attractive way for anyone to build for the future and a mainstay for freelancers or self employed individuals that aren’t covered by an employer’s retirement plan.

And since it’s an account and not an investment, an IRA really doesn’t pay anything. An IRA is a container — a candy bar wrapper, envelope or garage, if you will. The investment stuff inside of an IRA is what provides the interest or return.

Want growth potential from your IRA? Consider purchasing market-based investments like stock mutual funds or exchange traded funds. Want safety and security?

Consider choosing something like a CD. You get to make the call.

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Roth IRAs Roth IRAs haven’t been around quite as long as their traditional sibling, but they also offer some significant tax advantages. As with a traditional IRA, Roth IRAs allow you to defer taxes on the interest, dividends and capital gains generated by the investments you choose.

Again, there is no tax bill for what happens inside the account from one year to the next. There are, however, some major differences.

First, with a Roth IRA, you cannot deduct your contributions. They go into the account on an after-tax basis. There are also differences when you make withdrawals. Unlike a traditional IRA, Roth contributions can be withdrawn at any time without taxes or penalties — not so for earnings, though. And if you clear a couple of hurdles, including waiting until age 59 1/2, you may never have to nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

pay taxes on any growth you experience over the life of your account.

Make sure you’re eligible Finally, as I mentioned earlier, there are some eligibility restrictions for both traditional and Roth IRAs and some deductibility restrictions with traditional IRAs, so be sure you’re eligible before you contribute to either. Check out IRS Publication 590-A for information on IRAs and Publication 560 for guidance on retirement plans for small businesses. And of course, you can always check with a qualified tax professional.

Saving for retirement? Check out what USAA has to offer: https://www.usaa.com/inet/ imco_storefront/ImcoStorefront/ RetirementAccounts Views and opinions expressed by members are for informational purposes only and should not be deemed as an endorsement

by USAA. Investing in securities products involves risk, including possible loss of principal.

The law concerning tax and retirement plans is complex, penalties are severe, and the laws of your state may differ. Consult your tax and legal advisers regarding your specific situation. The information contained is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to substitute for obtaining professional financial advice.

Please thoroughly research and seek professional advice before acting on any information you may have found in this article.

This article in no way attempts to provide financial advice that relates to all personal circumstances. Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc. owns the certification marks CFP® and CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER TM in the United States, which it awards to individuals who successfully complete CFP Board’s initial and ongoing certification requirements.

USAA means United Services Automobile Association and its affiliates.

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WE’VE GOT YOU COVERED IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE. USAA provides more benefits to military members than any other major financial services provider.

MILITARY MEMBER BENEFIT #21: Up to 20% discount on renters coverage when you live on base.1

MILITARY MEMBER BENEFIT #10: Get worldwide coverage for your uniforms and personal military gear.²

MILITARY MEMBER BENEFIT #27: Insurance billing to match your military pay dates.3

CALL US AT 800-531-8521 OR VISIT US ONLINE TO SEE HOW WE CAN HELP YOU. No federal endorsement of sponsors is intended. USAA means United Services Automobile Association and its affiliates. 1Renters on-base discount is NOT available in CA, FL, IA, LA, ME, MI, MN, MT, ND, NH, NY, OR, RI, SD, VT, WV, WY, and international locations. Other restrictions apply. 2For loss due to a covered peril of military uniforms or equipment owned by you, and when the loss occurs while you are on active or reserve duty, no deductible will be applied. 3Restrictions may apply to installment payment options. Renters insurance provided by United Services Automobile Association, USAA Casualty Insurance Company, USAA General Indemnity Company, Garrison Property and Casualty Insurance Company, and USAA Ltd. (Europe), San Antonio, TX, and is available only to persons eligible for P&C group membership. Each company has sole financial responsibility for its own products.

Use of the term “member” or “membership” does not convey any eligibility rights for auto and property insurance products, or legal or ownership rights in USAA. Membership eligibility and product restrictions apply and are subject to change. © 2016 USAA. 233671-0816-G MARCH 2017

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Converting Feedback into Action

BY RAY CROWELL

I

have had the pleasure of working with hundreds of startups (both military-led and civilian alike) over the last few years through my immersion in Patriot Boot Camp, Bunker Labs DC, and the East Coast entrepreneurial ecosystem.

I’ve coached some that are very early stage, to those who are already hundreds of thousands dollars into their investment raises, to later stage companies try to scale in revenue by the tens of millions.

Teams of two, teams of four, male, female, young, old, of every shape and size – I’ve seen them all.

But what sets apart an entrepreneur or founding team who will be successful from the rest of the chaff? Simply put – the ability to convert feedback into action.

When you’re building a company, there are a thousand different problems that can kill your business. As a founder, you’re responsible for the vision and execution of all aspects – from things as fun and inspiring as brand management and product development, to the very unsexy parts of running a business like cash flow, payroll, and taxes. It’s just too hard to avoid all of the pitfalls on your own – mentorship is a must.

There exists a myriad of organizations that are devoted to helping entrepreneurs and small business owners from the military community build scalable and sustainable businesses (such as Boots to 16 | NMSN Magazine

Business, Capitol Post, and Bunker Labs, to name a few). Getting involved with these organizations is just the first step in the process.

Through them, you’ll have access to top tier presenters, speakers, workshops, and a great network. Even then though, that’s not enough.

You can sit through as many classes and workshops and one-onone sessions as you could possibly fit into a week. However, participation in class does not guarantee success in the real world. As I mentioned – converting feedback (whether learned in a group setting or through a dedicated mentor) “for real” will be the true testament as to whether you’ve adequately absorbed the information. There’s a difference between hearing and listening; likewise, listening and acting.

I’ve seen countless founders come to ‘aha!’ moments in a workshop, hands covered in whiteboard marker and little beads of sweat

on their brow. It’s always exhilarating, but I’ve become hardened by the too-many experiences I’ve had when, a week later, my team and I have to start back at square one.

Part of the challenge at times can be when egos are at play. It’s a classic stereotype of the arrogant and naive entrepreneur, and it takes a long time to work through someone who feels that his or her way is the best and only way. Be humble and open to new ideas – it will propel your business and career in ways unimaginable.

If you’ve found a revelation that will lead to a business breakthrough, take the initiative to start the change, preserve through the uncertainty, reach out for help if it’s new territory for you, and be resilient! It’s not easy, but ultimately, taking lessons learned and acting in a way to prevent making the same mistake twice is the signature characteristic of a successful entrepreneur.

Ray Crowell is fueling the veteran & spouse-led startup renaissance in DC, providing a peer-learning environment for entrepreneurs to Discover, Grow, Innovate, and Connect. He leads a team of supportive mentors, industry experts, strategic partners, and dedicated founders over at Humble Ventures. Ray is obsessed with engaging military veterans and their spouses to start, innovate, and scale the next generation of high-growth companies.

Ray unleashed his entrepreneurial spirit while on active duty (USAF), accelerating chapter-driven non-profits. Following a stretch as a Department of Air Force executive and government contractor, he joined the Patriot Boot Camp team as advisor and devoted roadie. Ray recently launched Ascent 7 Ventures, which will be debuting its first App (managing carpool pick-up for charter schools) very very soon. He has a BA, MA, a stack of executive development program certs in business and public policy, and was a Harvard Kennedy School Fellow at the Malcolm Wiener Center for Social Policy. nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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Swallowing Your Pride…

Like A Big Bitter Pill

BY JULIE WATERS, PHR

L

ast week I broke my arm.

As a result, I quickly adjusted my expectations and the following things became highly overrated: shoes that tie, clean dishes, pony tails, lids of any kind, and multiple layers of clothing. On the flip side, I found these things to be highly underrated for a cast wielding single mom: head bands, driving with your knee, food you don’t have to cut with a knife and most importantly, friends and family who step in to help you in your time of need. People who step in to pick up your meds, pick up your kids, pick up a pizza for

dinner and then doing your dishes; those wonderful people who ask what you need or even better, anticipating what you need and just doing it.

they needed help, I’d be there for them, but more importantly, they saw a situation where they could ease someone’s hardship and they stepped in.

The situation may be different than leveraging a network for career purposes, but the questions are still the same. I need help, who can I call? Who will understand? Who won’t be a jerk about it? Like most people, I hate asking for help, but I had to swallow my pride and rely on the kindness of friends and family. They know that if the tables were turned and

Call it karma or paying it forward, but if you see something that needs to be done, do it. If you see someone who needs help and you’re able to provide assistance, do it. You can call it paying it forward, but I think it just comes with being a good person.

Anticipate Whether it’s friend with a broken arm who needs help with her two kids, or a military spouse who is new to town, look around and see who looks lost. What did you need in that situation? Is there something you can do to help?

Reach out and let them know you’re there. Don’t make them ask for the help.

Listen All this paying attention and anticipating is not just for one time encounters. Think for a moment about the last time you did something nice. Go ahead, pat yourself on the back. Was it hard? Were you happy to do it? Would you do it again? Did you have to be asked? Much has been written about using your networks for getting a job. We’ve also touched on being a part of that network

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that gives the jobs. There is such satisfaction that comes from helping a friend, colleague, friend of a friend, random military spouse, etc. Be the part of your network that helps. Set the example, because one day you may be the one who needs the helping hand. (Pun totally intended!)

In the building where I work, the woman at the front desk can sometimes have a bit of a sour disposition. I always try to be extra pleasant when I see her. One day the sour had changed to sad and I asked her if she was ok. It turns out that her son was an Army Veteran who had committed suicide after returning from Iraq. Her daughterin-law was struggling through “the system” to get benefits for her and her son. This woman didn’t know I was a former military spouse. She didn’t know I would able to conMARCH 2017

nect her with a local organization and a contact name and number to get her son’s wife the help she needed to navigate the system.

All I had to do was pay attention, listen, and provide a phone number. What can you do today simply by paying attention?

We are all busy. And we are too keenly aware that one monkey wrench thrown into the works (broken arm, broken car, bro-

ken lawnmower) can lead to your house of cards completely collapsing. We’ve all been there and we can help each other through the collapse. So look around, anticipate, and listen. Then take the step to be the person that your network who is happy to jump in where you see the need. Because you know firsthand how hard it is to have to swallow your pride and ask for help.

Julie was born and raised in Washington State. She graduated from the University of Washington with a BA in English and earned an MS in Human Resources Management from Troy University. She is also a certified Professional in Human Resources.

Over the last 13 years, Julie has held various Human Resource positions starting her career at FHC Health Systems in Norfolk, Virginia, then moving to Landrum Professional Services in Pensacola, Florida, Cambridge Health Alliance Physicians Organization in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and the Military Officers Association of America in Alexandria, Virginia where she served as the Director of Human Resources. Julie currently resides in Spokane, Washington where she is the Human Resources and Operations Manager for a law firm. nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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Spring Trends for Work and Play THE HITS AND MISSES FOR YOUR WARDROBE

BY JOYCE NEAVE

E

very season the powers that be formulate a list of trends based on the designers’ creative visions. This spring is no different. You’ll find plenty of fun trends to incorporate into your wardrobe.

It can get overwhelming trying to keep up with the latest trends. My advice is to pick a few that you like

and think will add a fresh take on your current style.

I have pulled together for you what I feel are the top trends for spring. While these examples are high-end designer, you will also see these trends at every price point.

For a few years now there has been a push to find a way to incorporate denim, and this season they did a fabulous job! There are jeans of course but also tops, shoes, bags to choose from.

For play: For work:

.M MICHAEL

ichael Kor

s

Gianvito Ro

Rebecca Minkoff

ssi

Soft shades of pink are perfect for spring - elegant and feminine.

For play: For work:

Kate Spade

IRO Altuzarra

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You’ll see lots of stripes this season.

For play:

For work:

Balenciaga

Diane Von Fu Derek Lam

rstenberg

A fun trend to incorporate is the cold shoulder/one shoulder/no shoulder topl Though not appropriate for work, this is a simple way to update your spring wardrobe.

Not for work!

Milly

Alice + Olivia

Here are some other trends you’ll see: • In the footwear category, you’ll see a lot of mules and slides.

• Handbags are smaller, even mini.

Some trends that should be avoided or incorporated in very small doses if you can’t resist: • Embellished clothing, bags and shoes. What may seem fun at first, can be gauche or worse…a “regret” purchase.

Joie

• Large earrings.

• Odd shirting styles and crazy florals.

• Ruffles are also in this season, but a more modern version rather than the outdated ones in the back of your closet.

Have fun and play with your clothes - after all, that’s what fashion is all about!

Joyce Neave is an authority on fashion and style. As founder, Joyce has been empowering clients for over twenty years. As the owner of That Mom Inc., and now JOYCE NEAVE style group, her work has been featured in the Washington Post, the Washington Times, Washingtonian Magazine, and Bethesda Magazine among others. Joyce has been featured on WUSA9 News highlighting her wardrobe consulting practice and providing viewers with valuable insights. Learn more about the services provided by JOYCE NEAVE style group at: http://www.joyceneave.com/ MARCH 2017

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Protecting Your Business With Layers

BY RACHEL BRENKE, LAWYER AND MBA

Y

ou build up your business and don’t want it to be torn down. In an age where people have access to legal information and resources via the web, customers can become litigious, demanding and confused on how business transactions work. As a business owner, it is your responsibility to protect your business.

Holding your breath and hoping you don’t get an unhappy or crazy customer is setting you up for failure.

The main layers of protection are the business formation, insurance policies, contracts (or terms of site) as well as customer data protection.

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Protect Your Business It is no secret there are many protection tools available for your business, but understanding how they work together is important.

In fact, many business owners fall into this misunderstood idea that choosing one tool is enough. Unfortunately, the reality is that protection is created through layers of the various tools available. The path of protection is to have your clients go through contract provisions, and then insurance policy, and finally your business formation.

First, having proper lawyer-drafted contracts implemented in your nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

business will help to inform customers of policies, provide hurdles to any issues a customer may have and provide a legal document to be referenced in situations.

Small business owners can snag lawyer-drafted contract templates to take to a local attorney for quick adjustments from BlogLegally.com Next, you have a layer of a liability insurance policy. By having this layer, you can defer clients to the company to resolve any potential liability issues that arise. This frees you up to focus on your business and (hopefully) reduce costs to extinguish any “fires” that may come up.

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The core layer would be your business formation choice. For example, choosing a Limited Liability Company divides the business and personal assets for protection.

With the formation at the core, if customers get through the last two layers then they have to engage in a legal transaction such as court or mediation for a resolution.

Protect Your Customer In business there is more than just your business to protect. You have a duty to protect your clients or customers as well. On top of the tools listed above, there is customer information that you must protect.

Consider this, you hop online to Google-search yourself. Suddenly, you see your personal address, email address, phone number and perhaps a credit card number.

This is not uncommon with many businesses operating without understanding the security measures needed on the Internet.

however, always check the terms on these third-party sites to ensure the safety measures are in place.

For example, some free sites that are used for contact forms and contracts leave personal information public and exposed. Anyone can readily do an online search and retrieve this information, despite one’s belief that entering data online is secure.

Additionally, if you are using a website system like WordPress, you may want to consider SSL certificates (small data files that bind a cryptographic key to the data being submitted) to be installed on your site to create a secure location for this information.

As you can see, being a business owner is more than the marketing,

sales and balancing it all. Protection is the name of the game that many business owners fail to take the time to do. Use this article as a checklist to get your ducks in a row so that when you do hit success it won’t be pulled out from under you.

Rachel Brenke is an author, photographer, lawyer and business consultant for photographers and bloggers. She is currently helping creative industry and blogging professionals all over the world initiate, strategize and implement strategic business and marketing plans through various mediums of consulting resources and legal direction. See more: http://www.thelawtog.com/meet-rachel-the-law-tog/ Disclaimer: I am a lawyer but I’m not your lawyer! View my entire disclaimer here.

As a business owner, you should be vigilant to identify the information to be protected. Information to protect includes (but is not limited to this list): • email addresses • credit card numbers • birthdays • home mailing addresses Keep these in the back of your mind as you go through setting up your website, processing payments and storing sensitive personal information. Many third-party systems have security measures in place that can give a business owner peace of mind (such as Paypal and Square for payment data); MARCH 2017

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Federal Job FAQs for Military Spouses BY: AMY SCHOFIELD, ACRW

F

ederal jobs are highly sought after by many military spouses. However, the federal job system can be tough to navigate since applying for a federal job is vastly different than applying for a civilian-sector job. Below are the answers to some of the most commonly asked federal job questions: 1. How do I apply for a federal job? Federal jobs are mainly posted on USAJobs.gov. Every applicant must open a free USAJobs.gov account to apply for federal jobs.

2. How do I know if I am eligible to apply to a federal job? When you apply to a federal job, thoroughly read through each job announcement carefully. Look for clearance type and status information to see if you even qualify. For example, some federal jobs specify veteran status, internal applicants only, or for you to already hold a certain security clearance.

3. What should I include in my federal resume?

Your federal resume should be as specific as possible when it comes to displaying your skills. As with civilian-sector jobs, you want to make sure your resume is tailored to each federal job you apply to. However, in some cases, your federal resume might be six pages long. If you use the USAJobs resume builder to upload your information, you can fill out information for several sections, including experience, education, job-related training, and publications. Make sure you do not include your social security number if you make your USAJobs searchable. You can store up to five resumes in USAJobs.

4. What other information do I need to submit for a federal job? Most federal job announcements require applicants to answer a questionnaire during the application process, along with submitting a resume. If you do not complete the questionnaire,

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you could be disqualified from the job no matter how qualified you are! Also read the job announcement and qualifying information carefully, because you may need to upload your transcripts and other supporting documents.

5. Can you explain the Military Spouse Preference Program? The Military Spouse Preference Program allows qualifying military spouses employment preference when they move. Military Spouse Preference eligibility begins 30 days prior to the sponsor’s reporting date to the new duty station and continues throughout the tour until you accept or decline a continuing (permanent) job from any federal agency within the commuting area. This is key: within the commuting area – you could apply for a job at Andrews AFB but then be offered a job at Fort Belvoir, and if you turn that down, you can no longer use Military Spouse Preference. However, there is usually no limit to the number of times Military Spouse Preference may be exercised when applying for non-continuing (temporary/seasonal) jobs. To apply for Military Spouse Preference, contact your local personnel office to see how you register and what additional documents you need, such as your sponsor’s orders.

6. Is the Military Spouse Preference Program the same overseas? In overseas areas, Military Spouse Preference is subject to local hiring procedures and you generally do not receive preference until you actually arrive at the overseas location. So that is one difference between CONUS and OCONUS federal jobs preference.

7. Are there any other federal hiring programs that military spouses should be aware of? One other federal program that military spouses may be eligible for is the Pathways Program, which allows students and recent graduates who have graduated from qualifying institutions within the past two years to apply to a federal internship. This includes: associates, bachelors, masters, professional, doctorate, vocational or technical degrees and allows for paid experience within the federal government. Another federal program that military spouses may be eligible for is the Family Member Derived Preference Program, which provides qualifying spouses of service members MARCH 2017

with service-connected disabilities and qualifying widows/widowers of service members who have not remarried the eligibility to claim veterans’ preference for a federal job.

8. Is there anything else that I should know about applying to a federal job? Each federal job posting lists a point of contact near the bottom of the job posting. Feel free to utilize this resource if you have a specific question about the position.

The federal job process may seem intricate when you are first introduced to it, but once you start to understand the process, gaining federal employment will be within your reach. For the latest information, along with additional resources, visit the USAJobs Resource Center at: https://help.usajobs.gov/index. php/Main_Page.

Amy Schofield, ACWR has been in the recruiting, career coaching, and resume writing fields for 10+ years. She has provided resume development and job search strategies to job seekers of various backgrounds and experience levels from around the world. Amy is the founder of Schofield Strategies, LLC TM. She has appeared in numerous media sources delivering resume tips, including National Military Spouse Network, GI Jobs, Business Talk Radio, Reserve and National Guard Magazine, Army Wife Talk Radio, and Blue Star Families. Schofield Strategies was the recipient of the 2013 Military Family Member Community Heartbeat Award.

Amy is one of only a small number of military spouses who hold an elite Academy Certified Resume Writer credential.

She currently serves as the Resume Expert for the National Military Spouse Network. Need your resume, cover letter, LinkedIn profile, or bio updated? Contact Amy today.

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Why the Rise of Returning Professional Internships is Significant for Military Spouses

BY CAROL FISHMAN COHEN

I

n mid-March, my local TEDxBeaconStreet talk “How to get back to work after a career break” got elevated to the big TED platform.

Since then it has been viewed almost 1.2 million times and translated into 21 languages.

My TED talk focuses on career reentry and returning professional internships. All TED talks are supposed to discuss a “Big Idea.”

The “Big Idea” I put forth is that if employers can successfully use internships as a vehicle to engage with the population of professionals returning from career break, they could then use internships to engage with a whole range of non-traditional career transitioners; veterans transitioning to civilian roles, military spouses transitioning to permanent work after their spouse concludes active duty, retirees coming out of retirement, and ex-pats repatriating in their home country.

The concept rests on the theory that some employers attach risk to hiring non-traditional career transitioners. The internship reduces the perceived risk because it allows the employer to base the hiring decision on an actual work sample instead of a series of interviews, and the employer does 26 | NMSN Magazine

not have to make the permanent hiring decision until the internship period is over. One company has already launched a veterans return to work program based on their reentry internship program, and another company broadened the candidate pool for their reentry internship program to include veterans and other career transitioners.

The returning professional internships are paid and they are open to men as well as women. Typically, the reentry interns begin on the same day as a cohort. Depending on the company, the internship can be as short as 6 weeks or as long as 9 months. Hundreds of people apply for about 25 spots in a typical cohort, although companies piloting the concept may start with a smaller sized group.

At the end of the internship, an intern can “convert” to a permanent employee or the intern may not get a permanent offer. Even if an offer is not received, these rich professional development experiences are excellent resume and interview material.

With “conversion rates” - the number of interns who “convert” to permanent employees – running consistently above 50%, innationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

creasingly, the reentry internship model is making economic sense for employers as well as allowing them to engage with new and impressive pools of return-to-work talent.

A group of engineering-companies are all piloting mid-career internship programs for returning technical professionals in 2016 through the STEM Reentry Task Force initiative with the Society of Women Engineers and iRelaunch.

More information about them is here. In addition, a number of financial services firms have active programs; Credit Suisse, Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, MetLife, Morgan Stanley and UBS. AT Kearney is running a program in consulting.

The OnRamp Fellowship has programs running in law firms and the legal departments of a number of companies. And Path Forward has run reentry internships in Colorado and is now expanding their program.

While your spouse is still on active military duty and you are moving around, use the time to determine what kind of work you will want to return to once his or her active duty has concluded and identify any courses, certification or other skills updating you will need. Try MARCH 2017

to take online courses or in-person courses wherever you are stationed so you can be well prepared to take advantage of one of these internship programs if they match with your professional specialty. If not, then as I suggest in the TED talk, suggest to a potential employer that does not have a formal career reentry program the idea of engaging with you on a short term, non-binding basis.

An internship-like arrangement does not need to be called an “internship.” It can be a contract role, special project, temp-job, or maternity coverage. Please share your story with us at iRelaunch when you successfully relaunch your career. We want to add to the MARCH 2017

number of military spouse success stories we have on record. (Click here and check “Military Spouse” under “Strategy” and you will find them.) And while you are in the process of relaunching, make sure you consult our tools and resourc-

es on iRelaunch.com, and sign up for our mailing list here to be the first to know when reentry internship program applications open, employers are posting jobs for relaunchers, and career reentry events are happening.

Carol Fishman Cohen, CEO of iRelaunch, consults to some of the world’s largest corporations on career reentry strategy and programming. Her seminal Harvard Business Review article “The 40 Year Old Intern” focuses on the use of the internship as a vehicle for employers to engage with experienced professionals returning from career break. It was selected an “HBR article that changed the way I think” as part of HBR’s 90th anniversary recognition of HBR articles that made the biggest difference in readers’ and contributors’ lives.

Her TED talk “How to get back to work after a career break” received over one million views within two months of its posting and has been translated into 21 languages to date. Carol’s return to work at Bain Capital after 11 years out of the full-time workforce is documented in a Harvard Business School case study. She is the mother of 4 Millennials and lives in Boston with her husband Stephen. nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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Who Am I? Thinking beyond my military spouse identity

BY DR. KRISTA WELLS

T

he role of military spouse is so significant—we provide much needed at-home support to military members so that they can keep our country strong.

However, so often military spouses tell me they want to be more than mom/dad or spouses. While they value these titles, they also want to have their own legacies that do not depend upon their relationships with others.

I can relate to this desire because I too struggled to forge a 28 | NMSN Magazine

unique identity as a young military spouse when I was first beginning my coaching practice. I remember going to a cocktail party where people robotically asked my husband and me “what we did.” My husband rattled off his impressive military job title, leaving people in awe of his service and abilities. I, on the other hand, found myself stuttering, “I just started a business… I’m trying to have kids…” I probably sounded lost. I began to dread questions about work benationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

cause when I told people that I was a military spouse, they often gave me weird looks.

Even when I went to later parties prepared with my “elevator speech,” my career narrative never flowed. I would say, “Well, I am starting a coaching business…” and almost feel people’s eyes glaze over. Then I would just add to the confusion by explaining too much.I eventually realized that I wanted a better answer not for them but actually for myself. I MARCH 2017

asked myself: Who am I beyond the spouse of my Marine husband? I was jealous of friends’ fancy corporate titles and those with the official status of stay-at-home mom—I just wanted to be known as something.

After becoming a mother, I would notice my kids singing and dancing in front of the mirror, playing in the yard without a care in the world, and expressing their love for horses and baseball. Where was that joyful spirit in me, I asked myself, and how could I sublimate it as an adult in the real world? I know that our identities are made up of much more than our jobs, are larger than the organizations with which we associate ourselves, and are deeper than our many roles.

But I also know that we can’t be as carefree as our kiddos in an adult world where responsibilities often consume carefree passions and creativity.

So, how do we develop identities that are not based upon our relationships with others? How do we tap back into our inner children, remain our authentic selves, and prevent criticism from constraining us?

We all need to take inventory of our authentic selves and how we present these selves to the outside world. I perform a specific exercise with people who are reentering the workforce after many years at home or starting new careers once their spouses have retired.

Give it a try for yourself below.

First, take out a blank piece of paper and begin identifying life themes that spark your motivation and interest. I’ve found that I resonate with life themes such as progMARCH 2017

ress, relationships, and using my intuition. I love talking to men and women about their careers and spouse issues and encouraging perseverance across platforms.

As you think about your own identity, brainstorm what you believe to be true about your own unique body, mind, and soul. Dissect your answers and look for a common thread—your approach to life.

Once you better understand who you are, you learn to use your time on this earth more wisely and to serve more effortlessly. And, as your spirit takes action, you begin to define a legacy for yourself.

Mythologist Joseph Campbell says that one way to determine what fuels our life is to examine it. Imagine showing up at a movie that is half over yet being perfectly able to determine the plot. It’s often easier to spot these themes in others’ lives than to examine our own, which means that it’s especially important to consciously reflect about our experiences.

Sometimes, it helps to think about what we loved doing as kids and then letting go of the particulars and seeing how the same passions manifest in adulthood. This process can definitely be easier and the connections more vivid for some people than others. One of my best friends loved lifeguarding, and then studied to be a nurse.

My older sister loved flowers and ended up in environment studies, while my younger sister was super social and adored dogs, she studied public relations and then became a vet tech, and recently created an app for dog lovers called slobbr; their paths make perfect sense. nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

My passions always seemed more vague. However, looking back, my life’s narrative probably has more flow than I give credit.

I was obsessed with rearranging the furniture in my bedroom in continuous attempts to make special, aesthetic improvements.

As an adult, I enjoy organizing my life and career-coaching clients toward success with that same childlike joy. I love putting order to things, often by helping clients design their lives and improve themselves along the way. I was coined the most talkative student, and now deliver keynote speeches.

While my career as a life coach for military spouses is out of the box, I think of myself as a designer or architect who works with spouses to help them enact their own life’s vision. I help them define themselves, beyond life as a military spouse and its so incredibly rewarding to help people dig deep and decide who they want to be.

Krista Wells, Ph.D., professional speaker, writer, and a career coach, is The Military Spouse Coach® Krista runs a career coaching private practice that guarantees you will find a career you love in just three months, and works with the broader community of military spouses helping them find portable professionals they are passionate about; her former clients and colleagues rave about her work to boot. Listen to Krista’s NEW weekly radio show, The Military Spouse Show: www.militaryspouseradio.com that airs on the Armed Forces Network. Ready for career coaching, or interested in reaching out to Krista for your next spouse event? Go to: www. militaryspousecoach.com for more information.

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Not Just Another Milspouse Conference

BY MJ BOICE

W

hen career professionals attend a professional development conference of any sort, we typically expect to see the usual suspects and activities. Networking events, resume workshops and key note speakers are the staples that we all come to expect from your run-of-the-mill conventions, and we usually expect to leave with a few new ideas and maybe a contact or two. What you don’t expect are comedy shows, personality assessments, gut-busting laughter or being moved to tears.

You don’t expect interactive sessions that breed esprit de corps or speakers whose inspirational stories provide you that laser-focused motivation you’ve been lacking. You also wouldn’t expect an event like this to be centered on two VERY specific facets that are notoriously at odds with one another: Military Spouses and our Careers.

As military spouses, we incur certain challenges that civilian professionals rarely face. Whether it’s gaps

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in our resumes, moving from job to job or struggling to build a new clientele base after a PCS move, most career-driven military spouses often find themselves frequently under employed or unemployed altogether at a much greater rate than our civilian counterparts.

This was my second year at NMSN’s Annual Military Spouse Career Summit, and to say that my expectations were exceeded would be an understatement.

I could write an entire book on each segment, each speaker and each participant I met at the Summit; and the takeaways would be vast. However, I wouldn’t want to give everything away all at once, so here is just a glimpse of the takeaways and epiphanies that YOU could experience when YOU attend next year!

Business Boot Camp Day one was a Business Boot Camp, geared speci­ fically to providing the much needed knowledge to grow our business mindset as a milspouse. We learned

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to look Beyond the Business Plan, where Bob Smith showed us about the inner workings of developing a start-up and uncovering the value of our ideas. We also heard from the former director of the Freddie Mac Foundation, who showed us what it takes to be a successful, sustainable and impactful nonprofit. We even learned how to Star in Our Own Stock Photos, where Trish Alegre-Smith offered this thoughtful nugget, “YOU’RE the talent - why should anyone else be in your social media, website or promotional photos?”

My biggest takeaway from the Business Boot Camp session, though, was on Building an Engaged Online Community. I’ve done fairly well in terms of engagement on social media, but after hearing from Vina Sananikone of the Eat Good Food Group, I began looking at branding strategy from a whole new perspective! Instead of relying on organic success, I learned how to strategically design my social media presence on any platform in order to cater to my target demographic. I’m not an entrepreneur, but this type of engagement helps our personal brand as well!

Networking Event Since last year’s networking event was such an eye-opening experience, I decided to make it a family affair this time around and brought my husband along with me to join in the experience. He wasn’t the only service member there either!

I learned at last year’s summit that it’s never too soon to begin preparing for transition from military service, MARCH 2017

and that the ‘team approach’ is the best way to ensure that it will be a bit less bumpy. If we all were to stop and think about it, we would have to admit that it only makes sense to approach transition as a team just as we approach military life as a team.

After networking with the rest of the Summit’s cohorts and enjoying some fantastic food, we enjoyed some much needed laughs from Mae Brayton, a graduate of Armed Services Arts Partnership’s comedy program. This was followed by a panel discussion, where the Founder and President of NMSN, Sue Hoppin, mo­ derated a candid talk on the topic of transition. There was something about the very informal vibe that was felt throughout the discussion that engaged the service members in the crowd and allowed significant buy-in to occur. I don’t have to tell YOU how difficult that could be in a room full of strangers, but the Summit isn’t your typical event.

My husband left feeling a little less worried about transition, and at the same time realized that having only 24 months left in service means he should probably get working on some preparation.

Career Success Toolkit Perspective was the theme on day two of the Summit. We received an update on military spouse employment initiatives and learned how to further create and sustain a career path by leveraging employment trends and worked on a few ‘scenarios’ as practice.

One activity in particular produced some peculiar re-

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sults. Participants were asked to approach a discussion panel on stage and attempt to elicit interest from a potential employer during a mock informational interview, or attempt to successfully set salary requirements in a mock negotiation. In both scenarios, several participants had a difficult time saying “this is what I want”. It was through watching and participating in these mock scenarios that the spouses at the summit began coaching one another through them. They started rooting for each other and applauding when they finally were successful in their efforts. It was such a wonderful display of camaraderie, and that was just the beginning.

We also heard from Bonnie Carroll. Maybe you know her through her great work with TAPS. Maybe you’ve seen those pictures of her in your Facebook or Twitter newsfeed when she received the Presidential Medal of Freedom last year. Either way, Bonnie Carroll embodies that elusive grit that we all talk about and want to emulate and she came and told us about her inspirational journey of resilience; and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house as we all stood up and applauded this wonderful military spouse and advocate.

Speaking of tears, there was another amazing and unexpected phenomenon that occurred that day at the Summit. Somewhere between the much needed session on Work Place Communications and becoming better listeners, and learning more on how to be our most authentic and powerful self through a talk called the Courage Formula, something amazing happened.

Participants began telling everyone their truths.

Attendees began detailing their struggles, their tribulations and their triumphs. Many attributed their successes to having attended previous NMSN Summits. Many relayed how they are now truly inspired and confident 32 | NMSN Magazine

that they can succeed. One spouse in particular came all the way from St. Louis to attend. She didn’t know a soul when she had first arrived and she was moved to tears when she explained that she wasn’t just leaving with new contacts; she was leaving with friends.

As people were telling their stories, you could tell that the room was closing ranks. The camaraderie was palpable and the strangers that met each other for the first time the day before were now sharing their deepest concerns and truths in a front of a room full of family.

I spoke with Sue Hoppin, who spearheaded and created this initiative. “I’m humbled that all of these women felt safe enough to do that. The feedback that we received all centered on the level of safety that they felt.”

Trust is the most crucial element of safety disclosure is the ultimate outcome of that level of trust. What that tells me, and what sets NMSN’s Annual Summit apart from other career initiatives, is that the Summit not only caters to professional growth…but personal growth as well.

I hope you’ll choose to grow with me at this year’s Annual Military Spouse Career Summit being held October 13-14, 2017 in Springfield, VA.

MJ is a proud Marine spouse who holds a B.S. in Social Psychology, is the mother of two teenagers (please pray for her) and is currently pursuing a graduate degree in Public Administration. She joins NMFA’s Communications team as their in-house Staff Writer and approaches all things with a “90-Nothin’, Grip-It-And- Rip-It” mentality. This is most likely due to the copious amounts of coffee that she consumes. She enjoys engaging in deep discussions, and believes that every story is worth telling. She loves meeting new people, so if you see her out and about please feel free to walk up and say hello!

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Bring the hustle or stay home FRED WELLMAN

B

eing an entrepreneur is not easy. Period. There are just days where you look at the numbers and yo u wonder what are you doing wrong? Why are there not more customers? When will I ever be able to afford that first yacht at this rate?

ia and got the urge for a gourmet hot dog after seeing several shops in Raleigh. So, we brought out our iPhones and looked on the map.

There were two listed. We made our way to the one downtown only to find it closed on Sunday. A restaurant closed on a Sunday. Okay.

That’s called hustle. They had ta­ken the time to get on the Apple map, get Yelp reviews, set up an active Facebook page and a website with all of their locations along with pictures of the great food. It’s really that easy.

So, I said, “no worries we can head to the other one.” I clicked on the directions and we made our way to the ‘shop’. Oddly, the directions led me into the parking lot of the local big box hardware store. As we pulled up I realized that we were being led to a hot dog stand just outside the exit of the store.

Fred Wellman is a retired Army officer turned serial and social entrepreneur.

He is a graduate of West Point and the Harvard Kennedy School serving 22 years in the Army as an aviator and public affairs officer and four combat tours. He is the Founder and CEO of ScoutComms, a B Corp communications and advocacy firm focused on veterans and military families. He and his wife Crystal also co-own Ladyburg Bath and Body Apothecary, a growing handmade bath and body retail boutique with locations in Fredericksburg and Old Town Alexandria, Virginia.

In those tough days, I always ask myself a simple question: What am I doing today to put money in the bank?

I can honestly say that one of the secret ingredients to the success I have seen is simple. Hustle.

I never, ever, not for a minute, stop hustling.

Wasting even a single minute feeling sorry for yourself or bemoaning your lot in life is wasted time. There is nothing I love seeing more than someone who never stops hustling.

You know this businessperson when you see them. That’s the guy on the street outside his shop giving out samples and chatting up people on the street. Posting a blog post about their conversation with a prominent member of the community. Filling their social media up with great photos of their products and the occasional flash sale.

I saw hustle turn to success before my very eyes a couple of weeks ago. My wife and I had visited our Airborne trooper son in North Carolina. We were driving through Wake Forest on our way back to VirginMARCH 2017

Sure enough, I clicked on his link on Apple maps and found his many positive Yelp ratings, company Facebook page, and a website for their stands all around the Raleigh area. There was a line of at least six people the entire time we were there, all waiting for a wide variety of hot dogs, sausages and toppings. nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

We recently tried to partner with some fellow local businesses in our town and discovered a high-end chocolate shop in business for over a year that hadn’t completed their website, had no active social media channels, and was bemoaning their difficult year. If you’ve got time to fret over your numbers then you’ve got time to Instagram quality photos of your products, write blog posts, create an email newsletter, or just stand on the street and give out samples. Don’t go out of business for lack of hustle.

In addition to serving as the Entrepreneur in Residence for NMSN, Fred also serves on the National Board of Directors for the National Desert Storm War Memorial and the Board of Advisors for No One Left Behind.

NMSN Magazine

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