We are proud to support the 2019 North Jersey Pride Festival! At Atlantic Health System we provide safe, culturally competent care in an inclusive environment where you can be your most authentic selves.
Congratulations on your 9th Festival!
CHILTON | GORYEB | HACKETTSTOWN | MORRISTOWN | NEWTON | OVERLOOK
AtlanticHealth.org
888-4AH-DOCS
Diana Davies / New York Public Library
contents
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E DI T O R’S L E TT ER
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LETTER FROM G O V E R N O R MU RPHY
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THA N K YO U 2 01 9 SP O N S O R S
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Thanks to Barbra “Babs” Siperstein, transgender people can now amend their birth certificates without proof of surgery. For transgender people, misgendered birth certificates are not just a painful reminder of the past, but a daily security risk. Because of the tenacity of one woman, New Jerseyans don’t have to live with that fear anymore.
G U I DE T O P R I DE M ONT H 14 20 29
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Events Entertainers Award Recipients Q & A WI T H RO B S A N DE R S
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The author of the children’s book Stonewall: A Building, An Uprising, a Revolution, talks about writing LGBTQ history for kids. 31
A 4T H GR A DE R’S TA KE O N STONEWALL
A book review by Eliana Taylor-Prince 4
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HOW THIS B ILL BECAME LA W
T HE T R A NS M ILITA RY B A N
Dana Delgardo, a major in the U.S. Air Force Reserve, explains what the administration’s new ban is costing trans people. 40
FIXING LG BTQ+ HEALTH CA RE
If providers don’t understand our unique challenges, how can they help us?
on the cover
NJ PRIDE MAGAZINE
E D I TO R C.J. Prince DESIGN Sarah Gifford COVER ART Jesse Reyes P H OTO G R A P H Y Hollingsworth Digital Artistry Studios NJ PRIDE S T R AT E G I C C O M M I T T E E Tara Benigno (All-Around Player) Jason Clark (Vendor Czar) Mel Comerchero (Pride Run Honcho) Shannon Cuttle (Kids Zone Overlord) Anthony DeSalis (Dance Diva) Dillon Fernandes (Volunteer Master) Sharon Michaels (Stage Mistress) C.J. Prince (Empress of Minutiae)
Sylvia Rivera (far right) and Marsha P. Johnson (far left) of the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries (S.T.A.R.) at the Christopher Street Liberation Day, Gay Pride Parade, June 24, 1973. Photograph by Leonard Fink/courtesy The LGBT Community Center National History Archive.
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S TAY C O N N E C T E D www.northjerseypride.org facebook.com/NorthJerseyPride twitter.com/PrideinNJ instagram: @prideinnj The North Jersey Pride Guide is published for the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer/ questioning, intersex and ally community by North Jersey Pride, Inc., P.O. Box 1195, Maplewood, NJ 07040, www.northjerseypride. org, info@northjerseypride.org. All rights reserved to contributors. Reproduction or reprinting in whole or in part without the permission of the publisher is prohibited. The opinions expressed herein do not necessarily represent the view of North Jersey Pride, Inc., a 501(c)3 nonprofit company.
LGBTQ
proud to be a leader in respectfully caring for our community.
Learn more about us. Visit: ValleyHealth.com Facebook.com/ValleyHospital
editor’s note
HONORING THE PAST, FACING THE FUTURE THE 1960S WAS A TOUGH DECADE to be queer. The solicitation of “homosexual relations” was illegal in New York and the mere gathering of “homosexuals” was considered “disorderly.” There was even a criminal statute that allowed police to arrest anyone wearing fewer than three genderappropriate articles of clothing. Although some of those regulations were struck down in 1966 , by the end of the decade it was still illegal for two people of the same gender to hold hands, kiss or dance together. Police routinely raided the only spaces queer people could gather safely—gay bars—and arrested them for no greater crime than sipping a cocktail in a pub. But on June 28, 1969 , young gay patrons of the Stonewall Inn refused to submit. Their outrage sparked a riot with fed-up bystanders choosing to stand with them rather than run away, ultimately forcing police to barricade themselves in the Stonewall for protection. The protests, which soon involved thousands taking to the streets, lasted six days, marked by violent clashes with law enforcement outside the bar and on neighboring streets. The following year, newly inspired activists commemorated the Stonewall Uprising with a march on the event’s one-year anniversary: June 28, 1970 . That first march was named “Christopher Street Liberation Day.”
Today, we stand on their courageous shoulders. Looking around the North Jersey Pride Festival grounds—at the smiling children waving rainbow flags, the youth dancing, out and proud, the families, both LGBTQ and ally, celebrating diversity and love—one can’t help but feel tremendous pride in how far we’ve come. But our work as a community is far from finished. Although we celebrate diversity here in Maplewood, around the country and the world, hate toward our community is still very much alive—particularly toward transgender people. Last month in Texas, we lost another beautiful, young, transgender woman of color, Muhlaysia Booker, to senseless, brutal violence. We must continue to resist and stand up for one another—straight allies for LGBTQ , cisgender for transgender—until dignity and equality are no longer privileges of the few, but rights for all. Take a moment today to learn more about how you can get involved with one of the many non-profits exhibiting in the vendor court and how you can do your part to make this a safer world for LGBTQ youth. Rejoice and celebrate, and let the day inspire you to be a part of a movement— one that began with just a handful of individuals demanding the freedom to love. Happy Pride!
—C.J. PRINCE
E X E C U T I V E D I R E C TO R NORTH JERSEY PRIDE
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Bayer: Respecting
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governor’s note
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NORTH JERSEY PRIDE 2019
PROUDLY SUPPORTS THE 9TH ANNUAL NORTH JERSEY
PRIDE FESTIVAL
Maplecrest Ford Lincoln of Union believes strongly in being a partner in the community, which is why we love to support the North Jersey Pride. We also serve the community through Maplecrest Moves Charities. MMC strives to solve a major barrier for many non-profit organizations that spend hundreds of dollars each year in transportation costs to pick-up and deliver goods between collection and distribution points.
To Learn More, Please Visit MaplecrestMoves.Org
2800 SPRINGFIELD AVE, VAUXHALL, NJ 07088 MAPLECRESTCARS.COM | 908-964-7700
NORTH JERSEY PRIDE 2019
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Thank you
North Jersey Pride for all the work that you do! We are proud to support you and be members of this community for over 16 years.
xo,
Your Gay AND Friendly REALTORS® serving Maplewood, South Orange, West Orange, Orange, Montclair & Beyond!
Randy Rabney REALTOR/Sales Associate (646) 734-9077 (c) Francine Lichtman Broker/Sales Associate (646) 734-3718 (c)
Hearth Realty Group
973-913-5055
thank you
2019 SPONSORS PRESENTING SPONSOR
PREMIER SPONSOR
UNITY SPONSORS
EQUALITY SPONSORS
colly flowers DIGNITY SPONSORS
COMMUNITY SPONSORS
MEDIA SPONSORS
NORTH JERSEY PRIDE 2019
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2019 north jersey
GUIDE TO PRIDE NORTH JERSEY PRIDE RUN S AT U R D AY , J U N E 1 • 9 A M
Run/walk for equality, respect, and acceptance for all! Pride Month kicks off with our annual 5K , a certified course that takes runners through the shady streets of Montrose. Families, dogs, and walkers welcome! Kids’ Races start at 10am. Enjoy 10% off brunch at The Fox & Falcon and FREE pancakes for kids! GROVE PARK, SOUTH ORANGE • $20 3RD ANNUAL SOMA EQUALITY MARCH S U N D AY , J U N E 2 • 1 0 A M – 1 1 : 3 0 A M
The march will begin at Ricalton Square (across from the train station facing Maplewood Ave.) and continue to Maplewood Town Hall, where a rally will be held with special guests, followed by a ceremonial raising of the Pride and Transgender flags. All are welcome! Sponsored by Township of Maplewood, SOMA Action LGBTQ Committee and North Jersey Pride. RICALTON SQUARE, MAPLEWOOD • FREE YOUTH PRIDE & FAMILY PICNIC S U N D AY , J U N E 2 • 1 2 P M – 3 P M
An event created by youth for youth! Performances, entertainment, games and activities, flag-raising. Bring a blanket and a picnic lunch. All are welcome! Sponsored by the Township of Maplewood, CHS Spectrum Club, SOMA Action Student Leadership Committee, CHS Student Council, Maplewood Youth Advisory Committee, HMI -Newark and North Jersey Pride. THE GAZEBO NEXT TO HILTON LIBRARY ON SPRINGFIELD AVE., MAPLEWOOD • FREE
COCKTAIL KICKOFF M O N D AY , J U N E 3 • 8 P M
Join us for cocktails and conversation at our annual party, this year at The Cassidy! Special pride menu, full cash bar. THE CASSIDY, 160 MAPLEWOOD AVE., MAPLEWOOD • NO COVER
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CONGRATULATIONS TO N O R T H J E R S E Y P R I D E !
FROM ALL YOUR FRIENDS AT BETH EL Congregation Beth El is a member organization org of the Big Tent Judaism Coalition of inclusive communities, and welcomes people of all ages and backgrounds to join us on our journey—learned or novice, born Jewish or living Jewishly, single or partnered, gay or straight, seeking prayer or seeking community.
Thelma K. Reisman Preschool • Jewish Learning Center
2019 north jersey
GUIDE TO PRIDE DRAG BINGO W E D N E S D AY , J U N E 5 • 7 : 3 0 P M
Play all night, win prizes and celebrate with emcee Harmonica Sunbeam and special guest Lady Keyante! THE WOODEN SPOON, 285 GLENWOOD AVE., BLOOMFIELD • TICKETS : BIT.LY / DRAG BI N G ON J
PRIDE DRAG SHOW: DRAG THE PAST INTO THE FUTURE! F R I D AY , J U N E 7 • 8 P M
Celebrating the 50th year of the Stonewall Uprising, North Jersey Pride and Vanguard Theater Company present an extravagant, exuberant, effusive evening of talent, love and laughter. THE BURGDORFF, 10 DURAND RD., MAPLEWOOD • TICKETS : $40 ONLINE ( BI T.LY / PRIDEDRAG2019 ) , $50 AT TH E DOOR
NORTH JERSEY PRIDE FESTIVAL S U N D AY , J U N E 9 • 1 2 P M – 6 P M
“Built for grownups, cool for kids,” the North Jersey Pride Festival is an event that brings together LGBTQ and straight ally attendees from all over the state to celebrate diversity, equality and love. Live main stage, Rainbow Kids Zone with interactive kids’ stage, five-star food court, 100 + vendors and more. All are welcome! MEMORIAL PARK AMPHITHEATER, 580 VALLEY ST., MAPLEWOOD • FREE
SUNDAY SOIRÉE: PRIDE EDITION S U N D AY , J U N E 9 • 6 P M – 1 0 P M
With an afterparty this lit, the fun never has to end! Join us for a Happy Hour Cabaret Dance Party with drinks, dancing and drag. Plus, watch the Tony’s on multiple screens! Tix include plentiful hors d’oeuvres, 2 drinks and fab show. 21+ MOONSHINE MODERN SUPPER CLUB, 55 MAIN ST., MILLBURN • TICKETS : BIT.LY / N J PA FT E R PA RT Y
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OUR CHOCOLATE HAS NO GENDER! K&C CANDY tempers only the finest belgian chocolate for our confections, using natural ingredients and flavors in everything we create. Our mouthwatering morsels are brought to you by Kat Grigg and Christine Corrado, lifelong chocoholics, who are proud to be supporting LG B TQ youth tonight!
K & C C A N DY 4 1 7 S P R I N G F I E L D AV E N U E , S U M M I T , N J • K A N D C C A N D Y. C O M
2019 north jersey
GUIDE TO PRIDE AN EVENING WITH DARNELL L. MOORE T H U R S D AY , J U N E 1 3 • 7 : 3 0 P M
Darnell L. Moore, renowned activist and author, will read from his brave, beautifully wrought memoir, No Ashes in the Fire: Coming of Age Black and Free in America. Discussion to follow. WORDS BOOKSTORE, 179 MAPLEWOOD AVE., MAPLEWOOD • FREE
PRIDE UNDER THE STARS S AT U R D AY , J U N E 1 5 • 8 P M
Celebrate the 50th anniversary of Stonewall with a few hundred of your closest new friends! North Jersey Pride’s off-the-hook dance party under the stars! DJ , wine, beer, specialty drinks! Must be 21+ SLOAN ST., SOUTH ORANGE • TICKETS : PRIDEUN DE R STA R S.E V E N T BR I T E. COM • $20 SUGGESTED DONATION
AGING IN PLACE: A PRIMER FOR LGBT SENIORS M O N D AY , J U N E 1 7 • 1 P M – 4 P M
As they age, many older adults face issues around caretaking, power of attorney, wills, and other legal issues. This preparation workshop will help older LGBTQ adults to start thinking about a plan tailored to their needs. Cosponsored by Township of Maplewood, SOMA : Two Towns for All Ages, and Garden State Equality. THE WOODLAND, 60 WOODLAND RD., MAPLEWOOD • FREE
From Selma to Stonewall Are we there yet?
T H U R S D AY , J U N E 2 0 • 7 P M
A screening of the documentary that explores the similarities, differences, and conflicts between the black civil rights and LGBTQ rights movements. Following the screening, WNYC ’s Nancy Solomon will host a Q&A and talkback with the film’s co-executive producer and co-star, Rev. Gilbert Caldwell. THE WOODLAND, 60 WOODLAND
DIRECTED BY
Marilyn Bennett
FEATURING
Rev. Gil Caldwell,
Civil Rights Movement Foot Soldier An exploration of the similarities, differences, and conflicts between the black civil rights and gays rights movements. This 60-minute documentary follows a “black, straight preacher and a white, lesbian activist” as they seek to find the intersection between the Civil Rights and the LGBTQ Equality movements.
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MOVIE NIGHT: “FROM SELMA TO STONEWALL”
NORTH JERSEY PRIDE 2019
RD., MAPLEWOOD • TICKETS : SE L M ATOSTON E WA L L. EVENTBRITE.COM • $10 ADVANCE / $15 DOOR
guide to pride month
ENTERTAINERS
GIA WOODS breaks every rule. The 21 -year-old queer Persian songstress
can provoke one moment and comfort the next. Casting a striking and exotic presence, her undeniable sex appeal translates beyond music and into each performance and visual, while thoughtful songwriting and impressive instrumentation thread the vision together. Enamoring the LGBTQ community out of the gate in 2015 , the singer, songwriter, and multiinstrumentalist now stands primed to become a breakthrough talent in 2019 . Her 2019 debut EP for Disruptor Records introduces a singular style representative of her enigmatic experience and bold persona. In 2015 , she made headlines with the breakout “Only A Girl.” Not only did it 20
NORTH JERSEY PRIDE 2019
generate millions of streams, plays, and 10 million views and counting, and earn praise courtesy of Billboard, its cinematic video would also be her “coming out.” In the aftermath, she performed in front of thousands of people at LA Pride at her first-ever show. As Gia quietly attracted a following, she wrote and sang on Matoma’s 2017 hit “Heart Won’t Forget,” which generated over 32 million Spotify streams. In the end, Gia tosses the rules out the window and arrives as the subversive voice pop music desperately needs by simply being herself. “My biggest thing is being genuine, and always being honest with who I am and what I’m about,” she says. “People need to be reminded to embrace themselves.”
Atlantic Health System is proud to be a premier sponsor of North Jersey Pride. CHILTON | GORYEB | HACKETTSTOWN | MORRISTOWN | NEWTON | OVERLOOK
AtlanticHealth.org
888-4AH-DOCS
guide to pride month
ENTERTAINERS
Mississippi-bred, LA -based BRET T MCLAUGHLIN, AKA LELAND , is the songwriter behind many of your favorite pop gems of the past few years, including most of the standouts on Troye Sivan’s debut Blue Neighbourhood (including the hit “Youth”) plus “My My My!” and “The Good Side,” the new singles from Troye’s forthcoming sophomore album. Leland also penned a majority of Daya’s stunning debut Sit Still, Look Pretty, Martin Garrix and Troye Sivan’s “There for You,” Sabrina Carpenter’s “Why” and Selena Gomez and Gucci Mane’s “Fetish,” to name a few. In 2017, Leland released “Mattress,” an “anthem about unrequited queer love set against soaring electro-pop production” (Out Magazine) which solidified him as a budding pop artist in his own right. Leland is also a composer and is executive producing several film soundtracks out this summer, all while continuing his role as one of the music composers for RuPaul’s Drag Race. LELAND will be releasing more music and touring this spring! 22
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Many will recall LEAH JENEA from her dazzling debut on Fox’s The Four: Battle For Stardom, where she wowed the judges as one of the show’s youngest competitors and quickly rose to become a fan favorite. In the midst of her growing fame, Leah, born and raised in Newark, met hip-hop legends Kay Gee and Vin Rock of Naughty By Nature through her father. The rap veterans took an interest in her sound, and when a clip of her song “Pulse” hit Instagram, they knew she was ready to become part of the Illtown Sluggaz collective. Now managed by both her parents and the Naughty icons, Leah is geared to level up with her Slugga Music/ Cinematic Music Group release titled “Leah Meets Nina,” a striking project harnessing the power of Nina Simone with her own authentic style.
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guide to pride month
ENTERTAINERS Performing as a trio, ANTIGONE RISING puts on a great show, and their excellent musicianship, songwriting and soaring three-part harmonies have kept them a favorite in clubs and festivals. Founding sisters Cathy and Kristen Henderson have always had the same philosophy: play better than the boys and make sure the fans feel like part of the family. That philosophy plus writing undeniably catchy songs has allowed this self-sustained group to maintain their independence and leave an indelible mark on an industry best known for leaving girl bands behind. ANTIGONE RISING continues to play a major part in LGBT advocacy. They are currently working on a new CD and launched Girls Rising, (www.girlsrising.org) a nonprofit organization that inspires young women to harness their potential, follow their dreams, and pursue non-traditional career paths. The CHOIR OF THE METROP OLITAN COMMUNIT Y CHURCH OF NEW YORK ( MCCNY ) was founded in the early 1970’s. Since 1998 the choir has been led by John Fischer, who arranges most of the pieces for the group. Comprised of versatile and diverse singers who specialize in an everexpanding array of genres, from R&B to classical, spirituals, hip hop, jazz, Broadway, folk, avant garde and pop, the Choir is united in its desire to communicate a positive message to people of all faiths, or of no faith. You can hear them every Sunday at MCCNY on 36th Street in Manhattan. Singer, songwriter, and entertainer DAMIEN CRAWFORD is a gifted and versatile performer whose musical styling is hip hop, rock, and pop mixed with a touch of R&B . Fans have come to define his genre as “Urban Pop.” In recent years, Damien has been dominating the stage with electrifying international performances while headlining two U.S. tours. He’s had the honor of opening up for established artists such as Neon Hitch, KeKe Wyatt, K.Michelle & Brandy! Over the years Damien has written for many independent artists such as Mike Lyrik, Metrell Hurst, K.WILL , etc. Currently, the talented artist is set to embark on the promotional tour for his new album “THERAPY .” Once listeners hear his music and experience the artist known as Damien Crawford, they will instinctively refer to him as “The Prince of Urban Pop.” 24
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JoIN us i THuRsdAy, JuNE 6!
Drag Show from 10 pm
Top 25 Best New Restaurants 2018 – NJ Monthly Best Cocktail Bar in the area KITCHEN open until 11pm 160 Maplewood Avenue Maplewood, NJ 07040 973) 762-5433 thecassidy.net
“bar Happy Hour” monday–Thursday 4-6 $3 off all drinks!
late nigHt menu friday + Saturday 10 pm–midnight
sunday Jazz bruncH Each Sunday 12-3 pm
guide to pride month
ENTERTAINERS SCOT T NEVINS is best known for being one of the breakout stars and original cast members of Bravo TV ’s series “The People’s Couch,” and truTV ’s hit show “truTV Presents: World’s Dumbest…” Scott has appeared on national TV on NBC , FOX , Bravo, CNN International, HLN , truTV , The Style Network, Fuse TV and LOGO and has hosted several red carpet events for TV Land. He received high praise for his work as the cohost of “The Ann Walker Show with Scott Nevins” (UBN Radio), as a fill-in host on Sirius Satellite Radio and KNews Radio, and most recently as a political contributor for NewNowNext.com.
The PAPER MILL PLAYHOUSE BROADWAY SHOW CHOIR is a tuition-free, audition-based performance show choir that stems from Paper Mill Playhouse’s award-winning Arts Education and Outreach programs. Over the past five seasons, the Paper Mill Playhouse Broadway Show Choir has delighted more than 350,000 people at prestigious venues including MetLife Stadium, Lincoln Center, Sun Arena, Mayo Center, Bergen PAC , NJPAC , The Empire State Building, Asbury Park Convention Center, The State Theatre, and SOPAC , among others. The Paper Mill Playhouse Broadway Show Choir is sponsored by Overlook Medical Center. HARMONICA SUNBEAM , the Queen of Comedy, has been delighting audiences throughout the U.S. and abroad for over 27 years. Her live appearances have gained her a cult following of all ages, races and backgrounds. A member of the Screen Actors Guild, her film credits include “Honey,” with Jessica Alba, “Uptown Girls,” with Brittany Murphy and the Oliver Stone drama, “World Trade Center.” She has also worked alongside noted musical artists such as Beyoncé, Mary J. Blige, Jennifer Holiday, and Katy Perry. Miss Sunbeam’s latest project is showcasing her unique ability to uplift, encourage and engage children. As a host of DRAGQUEEN STORY HOUR, she reads to kids of all ages at libraries, bookstores, festivals and other events. DragQueen Story Hour encourages children to relate to both gender neutrality and non-conformity, while promoting positive LGTBQ role models.
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Inspired by Pride.
(973) 379-3442 or farbrook.org
CO-ED n NURSERY THROUGH GRADE 8 n SHORT HILLS, NJ
discover an inspired childhood
Morrow Church is a LBGTQ+ affirming congregation that welcomes ALL people to full participation in the life of the church, including ministry and marriage. We invite you to journey with us toward greater love, understanding, and mutual respect.
600 RIDGEWOOD ROAD MAPLEWOOD, NEW JERSEY 07040 (973) 763-7676 morrowchurch.org
guide to pride month
ENTERTAINERS JOANNA YOUNG calls Maplewood home. Broadway and National Tours: The Drowsy Chaperone, Les Miserables, Grease! Selected Regional: A Chorus Line; Seussical; I Love You, You’re Perfect Now Change; Footloose; Everything’s Ducky; Grease; The Bikinis; Bye, Bye, Birdie. She starred at SOPAC in the world premiere of Rated P….For Parenthood (original cast recording and Off Broadway run) and in Small Town Story through American Theatre Group. Joanna is a guest solo artist, many times with her hometown’s The Omaha Symphony, and most recently at the Mayo Performing Arts Center in Morristown. Joanna is a member of Midtown Direct Rep theater company and can be seen in numerous national commercials.
From Selma to Stonewall Are we there yet?
MOVIE NIGHT T H U R S D AY , J U N E 2 0 • 7 P M
A screening of the documentary that explores the similarities,
DIRECTED BY
Marilyn Bennett
differences, and conflicts between the black civil rights and LGBTQ rights movements. Following the screening, WNYC ’s Nancy Solomon will host a Q&A and talkback with the film’s coexecutive producer and co-star, Rev. Gilbert Caldwell. T HE FEATURING
Rev. Gil Caldwell,
Civil Rights Movement Foot Soldier An exploration of the similarities, differences, and conflicts between the black civil rights and gays rights movements. This 60-minute documentary follows a “black, straight preacher and a white, lesbian activist” as they seek to find the intersection between the Civil Rights and the LGBTQ Equality movements.
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WO O D L AN D, 60 WO O D L AN D R D., M A PL EWO O D • TI CK ETS : S E L M ATO STO N EWAL L. E VE N T B R I TE.C O M $10 A DVAN C E / $15 D O O R
2019 award recipients
TRAILBLAZER AWARD BARBRA C. SIPERSTEIN Barbra “Babs” Siperstein fought tirelessly for equal rights for members of the LGBTQ community. She lobbied against conversion therapy and campaigned for marriage equality. She became the first transgender member of the executive committee of the Democratic National Committee. Most recently, she was the force behind the passage of a law allowing transgender individuals to amend their birth certificates without proof of surgery—a huge victory for New Jerseyans. Babs passed away shortly after the “Babs Siperstein Law” went into effect. She will be the first recipient of the Trailblazer Award, which her daughter, Jana Siperstein-Szucs, will accept on her behalf. Henceforth, this honor will be known as the “Barbra Siperstein Trailblazer Award” and will be given each year to a champion of transgender equality.
VANGUARD AWARD STONEWALL REBELLION VETERANS ASSOCIATION Fifty years ago, on a warm June night, a group of gays and lesbians refused to submit to arrest and humiliation simply because of who they loved. They stood up and resisted— giving birth to the modern LGBTQ equality movement. Every year since that night in 1969 , cities and towns around the globe have taken to the streets to both protest ongoing inequality and celebrate the anniversary of a revolution.
OUTSTANDING ALLY AWARD SARA CUNNINGHAM When Sara Cunningham’s son came out to her, she struggled with acceptance, feeling forced to choose between her strong Christian faith and her child. In the end, she chose her son—but ultimately, she went much further than acceptance. Saddened to learn that there were same-sex couples whose parents refused to attend their weddings, she posted an offer on Facebook to “stand in” as a mother at LGBTQ ceremonies. The post soon went viral. In 2017 , she founded Free Mom Hugs, a nonprofit that provides support and resources to LGBTQ people and their families. She is a shining example of the power of allyship.
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Q+A WITH AUTHOR ROB SANDERS ROB SANDERS is the author of numerous children’s books, including Peaceful Fights for Equal Rights and P R I D E : The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag. As Sanders explains in the following interview, his latest book, Stonewall: A Building, An Uprising, A Revolution (Random House Books for Young Readers, 2019), is meant to teach young children about the history of the Stonewall Uprising. WHY DID YOU WRITE THIS BOOK?
I’m a fourth-grade teacher. I know how much my students like nonfiction and how they enjoy learning about the Civil Rights movement and other movements. Since most kids don’t know anything about the Stonewall Uprising, I thought this was a perfect story to tell for my students and others. This is also the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising, so it was the exact-right time to release the first-ever picture book about the Uprising to celebrate the anniversary! WHY DID YOU CHOOSE TO TELL THE STORY FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF THE BUILDING?
I tried telling this story in many different ways. Nothing seemed to work, or to be something that kids would find interesting and engaging. One day I thought, “If these walls could talk, what would they say?” 30
NORTH JERSEY PRIDE 2019
Immediately, I knew that was the way to write the story—from the perspective of the buildings. The buildings had witnessed history for over a hundred years and then came that night on June 28, 1969 when they became part of history. Once I had that idea the writing flowed. WHAT DO YOU HOPE CHILDREN WILL LEARN FROM READING STONEWA LL?
I was ten years old when the Stonewall Uprising took place. I lived in Springfield, Missouri—more than a thousand miles from New York City. While I slept that night, people were fighting for the rights I didn’t yet know I needed. I hope today’s kids will learn the same thing from this book. People stood up for their rights and for the rights of others on that night at the Stonewall Inn. We all benefit from those who fought for equality. And it’s our responsibility to continue to stand up and speak out for equality and equity for ourselves and for others.
Review of Stonewall: a Building, an Uprising, a Revolution B Y E L I A N A TAY LO R - P R I N C E
OVERALL I really enjoyed reading Stonewall. It had a great beginning, middle, and end, especially from the point of view of buildings. It taught me a lot about how Pride started. SYNOPSIS Leading up to the 1960’s everyone was fine with having gay people in the village. Stonewall was a restaurant, but they were getting so many people, they opened up an inn. But some people didn’t like that there were gay people in the Village and they complained. The police started arresting people directly out of the Stonewall Inn and into paddy wagons. Most nights, police were banging on the doors, broke them down and came inside to arrest people, which was scary. Eventually, they put a sign up saying “This is a raided premises.”
On June 28, 1969, the biggest raid began. That day, the people who weren’t arrested didn’t slip away; this time they stood and protested. The police ran into the Stonewall Inn to protect themselves. There were a lot of police—but the people were angry enough to stand up for themselves and they defended themselves. On June 28, 1970, everyone gathered to celebrate the first anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising. They all chanted “Say it clear, say it loud. Gay is good, gay is proud.” Now one day in June every year, just like today, we celebrate our equality. WHAT I THOUGHT As a kid with two moms, I am grateful to those people who stood up for families like mine. I learned from this book that things that start out bad can turn out good if you join together as one. Pride is important to remember because we remember what people did to fight for equal rights. It is important never to forget what the people before us did, like the people from Stonewall who formed the LGBTQ movement. WHY I LOVE PRIDE Because it brings together different people who never thought they would be friends. E L I AN A TAY LO R - PRI NC E is a fourth grade student at Golda Och Academy in West Orange, N.J.
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HOW THIS BILL BECAME A LAW For transgender people, misgendered birth certificates are not only a painful reminder of the past, but a daily security risk. Because of the tenacity of one woman, New Jerseyans don’t have to live with that fear anymore. BY C.J. PRINCE
IN A SENSE, BARBRA “BABS” Siperstein had been lobbying for the birth certificate law long before it actually existed in print. Leslie Farber, an attorney who had known Babs for many years both personally and professionally, recalls a trip the two took down to Trenton 15 or so years ago. “We went to talk to the [Department of Motor Vehicles] to see if we could make it easier to get gender markers changed on driver’s licenses,” says Farber. “Because we thought, ‘Why do we even need [gender] on licenses?’ The response we got was, ‘That’s the way it’s always been.’” As a result, up until last year, New Jersey law would not allow anyone to change the gender marker on a birth certificate without proof that they had undergone gender reassignment surgery. “But not every transgender person will have, or should have, surgery,” explains Aaron Potenza, policy director for Garden State Equality. “That is an important medical decision best made between yourself and your doctor and should not be required to provide your identity.” The inability to amend one’s birth certificate puts transgender individuals in highly vulnerable and oftentimes, dangerous positions. “If you have a 32
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Opposite top: Babs Siperstein looks on as Gov. Murphy signs the birth certificate bill into law, with Jennifer Long and Brenda Fulton. Opposite bottom: Siperstein with daughter, Jana Siperstein-Szucs, and grandson, Sebastian Szucs. Above: Speaking at Pride. Photos courtesy of Jana Siperstein-Szucs.
document that doesn’t match the gender you present as, then you are going to run into trouble,” explains Potenza. Whether it’s applying for a job or for housing, enrolling in school or simply showing a license at a traffic stop, “it opens you up to discrimination and harassment.” In addition to the practical challenges, the mismatch is psychologically and emotionally damaging. “It’s about affirmation,” says Potenza. “As a transgender man, I don’t want a license with an ‘F’ on it, not only because it would open me up to discrimination, but because I do not identify as female, so that is offensive to me.” Jamie Bruesehoff, whose 12-yearold daughter, Rebekah, came out as transgender four years ago, says that
having an inaccurate legal document undermined Rebekah’s identity, security, and sense of self. “She has been able to live as herself out in the world with tremendous support, but there was still this birth certificate just sitting around with that male gender marker on it that wasn’t who she was,” says Bruesehoff. “With young people, the birth certificate is their main source of identification until they have a license. So while we had a great school district, whenever we needed to prove her age or prove her identity, this document would come out and it would kind of shock us all. It was this reminder that somewhere out there, in the government, in the world, there were people who didn’t understand who she was.” NORTH JERSEY PRIDE 2019
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Siperstein understood that frustration on a personal level. She came out in 2000 , first telling her wife, Carol, who was supportive. The following year, Carol was diagnosed with cancer and died soon after. That was when Siperstein began her activism in full force. “If gays and lesbians are second-class citizens, what was I as a single transgender person?” Siperstein has said about that time. “I kind of used my grief and my anger to change the law.” She lobbied against conversion therapy and advocated for marriage equality. She became the first transgender member of the executive committee of the Democratic National Committee, serving from 2011 to 2017 , and helped persuade the party to include gender identity as a category of protected rights. Then she set her sights on the birth certificate law, insisting that transgender citizens should not have to provide proof of surgery to amend. Colleagues say her determination was indefatigable. She met with lawmakers multiple times. She arranged meetings for them with other transgender people so the abstract would become personal. Although she likely encountered some ignorance along the way, she never took comments personally 34
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or acted as though she’d been insulted.“She was relentless,” says Bruesehoff. “That’s really the best word.” That determination was an inspiration to Christian Fuscarino, executive director of Garden State Equality, who worked closely with Siperstein. “That was one of the first lessons she taught me when I became executive director here,” he says. “She fought for every vote, even when we were winning, because she knew how important that was. There were many instances where we knew that a bill would pass and she still pushed us to reach out to legislators who were going to vote against it, just so it would pass with more support.” And it did. The first time, the birth certificate bill passed 43–27 in the assembly and 21–11 in the senate. Gov. Christie vetoed in 2014. Undaunted, Siperstein again took up the fight the following year, increasing margins of support. The second bill passed 51–23 in the assembly and 30–6 in the senate. Again, Christie vetoed. “I don’t think she was shocked,” says Farber. “But it was obviously a huge disappointment.” After Gov. Phil Murphy was elected, Siperstein and her allies at the ACLU saw an opportunity to take what they had learned through the process and write an even more
expansive bill than previous versions. For example, in addition to “male” and “female,” the current version of the law adds a third “non-binary” gender category. “All of our efforts gave us an opportunity to create the best bill possible,” says Jeanne LoCicero, legal director, ACLUNJ . “It was a breath of fresh air to see all this work come to fruition. And seeing the pictures of Babs at the governor’s side when he signed it was just really moving and inspiring.” The bill was signed by Gov. Murphy last year and went into effect on Feb. 1, 2019. Two days later, Babs Siperstein lost a courageous battle with cancer—and New Jersey lost a true champion of LGBTQ rights. But the legacy of her work will live on. “What is so great about the fact that this law is named after Babs is that every transgender person who goes to update their gender marker will be reminded of her and how she fought for them,” says Fuscarino.
That was true for Rebekah Bruesehoff, who finally has a birth certificate that matches her gender identity. “It’s really affirming to have that documentation to say, that, on all levels and in all places, the world knows who she is and sees and celebrates her in that way,” says Jamie Bruesehoff. “And should she leave New Jersey and go to other states, she now has documentation that will protect her along the way.” Both Rebekah and her mother have tremendous gratitude to Siperstein for making that possible. “The hearts and minds she changed along the way—literally, she created the world in New Jersey that my kid gets to grow up in having the support she does,” says Bruesehoff. “The last two times I saw Babs, she would thank me for everything we were doing and I had to laugh. I mean, of course, I was grateful for her gratitude, but she is the reason we are able to do anything we do and the reason my kid can live the life she does.”
Opposite: Babs Siperstein addressing the crowd in Jersey City during the Hudson Pride Festival. Photo courtesy of Jana Siperstein-Szucs. Left: Rebekah Bruesehoff educating the masses at a rally for transgender students. Right: Rebekah with her mother, Jamie Bruesehoff. Photos courtesy of Jamie Bruesehoff.
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FAQ: Guide To The Babs Siperstein Law E X C E R P T E D C O U R T E S Y O F G A R D E N S TAT E E Q U A L I T Y ( V I S I T G A R D E N S TAT E E Q U A L I T Y . O R G F O R F U L L T E X T )
HOW DO I CHANGE THE GENDER MARKER • A completed and signed Parent/Guardian ON MY NEW JERSEY BIRTH CERTIFICATE? Request Form and Attestation to Amend
As of February 1, 2019, New Jersey will re-issue a birth certificate when an applicant wishes to update their gender marker, legal name, or both. An applicant can apply for an updated birth certificate by submitting: • A completed and signed Request Form and Attestation to Amend Sex Designation to reflect Gender Identity on a Birth Certificate (Adult); • If changing the name, a certified copy of the court order granting the name change; • Proof of identity (in the form of government-issued identification) establishing that the requestor is the subject of the birth certificate to be amended; • A check/money order for $6.00 (subject to change) payable to Treasurer, State of New Jersey. Amendment requests are not accepted inperson. Mail the completed application to: Office of Vital Statistics & Registry—Records Modification Unit, NJ Department of Health, P.O. Box 370, Trenton, NJ 08625-0370 After processing, the original birth certificate will be placed under seal, and the updated birth certificate will be issued and will not show an amended status.
Sex Designation to Reflect Gender Identity on a Birth Certificate (Minor); • If changing the name, a certified copy of the court order granting the name change; • Proof of parent’s or guardian’s identity. Provide your full name as it appears on the minor’s birth certificate, along with government-issued identification showing your full legal name (if your current legal name is different than what appears on the minor’s birth certificate, submit legal name change court order, or marriage certificate) or certified copy of the court order appointing you as the guardian of the minor. • A check/money order for $6.00 (subject to change) payable to Treasurer, State of New Jersey. Mail the completed application to the address listed above. After processing, the original birth certificate will be placed under seal, and the updated birth certificate will not show an amended status. IF I HAVE A NEWBORN CHILD, CAN I GET AN “X” MARKER ON THEIR BIRTH
CERTIFICATE? HOW DO I CHANGE THE GENDER MARKER No. The “non-binary/undesignated” is AND / OR NAME ON MY CHILD’S NJ BIRTH only available to individuals seeking to CERTIFICATE? amend their birth certificates. The sex
To change your child’s name on their birth certificate (or on any identity document) you will need a certified copy of the court order granting the name change. You can apply for an updated birth certificate for your minor child by submitting: 36
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designation categories for a child’s original birth certificate are male, female or not yet determined. The “Not Yet Determined” designation is used only in cases when an infant’s sex is not determined by health care providers at birth.
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THE TRANS MILITARY BAN With the ban moving forward, thousands of transgender servicemembers must go back into hiding or lose their careers, their livelihoods and their dreams of rising through the ranks. ON JUNE 30, 2016, President Obama’s Defense Secretary Ashton B. Carter unequivocally lifted the Pentagon’s ban on transgender service members. “Effective immediately, transgender Americans may serve openly,” Carter said. “They can no longer be discharged or otherwise separated from the military just for being transgender.” Dana Delgardo, a major in the U.S. Air Force Reserve and family nurse practitioner, was one of thousands of transgender service members who rushed to file paperwork to change their gender markers. By October, Delgardo was serving openly, and officially, as male. “I was pretty happy, felt we were making progress,” he says. “And then came Trump.” In 2017, with one casual tweet, Trump announced his intention to reverse the Obama-era policy and ban transgender people from all military service. It was a devastating day for the estimated 14,700 transgender service members who currently serve. Lawsuits challenging the ban are ongoing, but a January ruling by the Supreme Court allowed it to go into effect in April. Now, transgender individuals, many of whom have devoted their lives to service, can only secure their positions by hiding their true identities, and new openly trans recruits will not be permitted to sign up. As Delgardo 38
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explains in the following interview, this 180-degree reversal has put trans service members who have already come out in a highly vulnerable position, and tells those who were hoping to finally live and serve openly that they must choose between their identities and the career they love. WERE YOU SURPRISED BY TRUMP ’S 2017 TWEET?
Oh yeah. It sent everyone into a panic. And right after that, he asked Defense Secretary [James] Mattis to develop a policy. During that time, lawsuits were launched by Lambda on behalf of a few servicemembers—and God bless them, because you can’t sue the military. You sue the military and your career is destroyed. But they did it. I knew that the policy was supposed to go into effect in March of 2018, so I had some conversations with people in my unit and I just thought, I have my 20 years and I can’t afford to lose everything I’ve worked for, my retirement. So I decided I was going to get out. THAT MUST HAVE BEEN A VERY TOUGH DECISION.
Yes, it was very hard and I still have regrets. I really wanted to finish out as a lieutenant colonel and I won’t ever know how far I could have aspired to go as a trans man in
AND LOSE EVERY THING?
Right. The military is the highest employer of lower socioeconomic people. If you’ve been in the military 10 years, that’s your career. These people have families following them all over the country, and their partners don’t usually have jobs, they’re military families. So here you gave this organization a good portion of your life and your family, and then all of a sudden, you find yourself unemployed and without the support system you had before. And I can tell you honestly, we are the top performers in the military. We are the cream of the crop because we have to perform twice as hard, maybe even three times as hard than our non-trans counterparts. FOR THOSE WHO HAVE ALREADY COME
the military. That’s something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. But I think I made the best choice I could make based on my options at the time and based on how this would affect my kids. WERE YOU EXPECTING THE SUPREME COURT TO RULE IN TRUMP ’S FAVOR?
No, not at all. But the minute Kavanaugh got appointed, I thought, oh my God, that’s it. We’re done. SO THE ONLY WAY TO STAY IN NOW IS IF YOU’VE ALREADY TRANSITIONED?
Right. In March, we basically had 30 days to get a gender dysphoria diagnosis. For some, especially those who are deployed in places where they couldn’t get to a psychiatrist, that just wasn’t possible. So basically we went back to “don’t ask, don’t tell.” If you didn’t get the diagnosis, you either go back into hiding or you decide you can’t do it anymore. But if you have a four-year contract, you can’t just leave. So you’d have to come out and get kicked out.
OUT, WHAT ARE THEY FACING?
It’s really hard. Obama says it’s okay to come out so then you peel off that layer of skin and you’re completely exposed and then all of a sudden, it’s like, no, we were just f---ing with your mind. You can’t be out. But now my senior officers know, everybody knows, so now I can be discriminated against and may not be able to prove it. I may not get promoted. I may get the sh---y job, the sh---y deployments. They can make it really difficult to stay in. It can be very unsafe. This is really history repeating itself. You’ve seen it with the blacks trying to get into the service, then it was the gays and lesbians. Now it’s the trans folks being targeted. The younger kids thinking about coming into the military—it’s just really hard for this generation to hide. So some younger kids just won’t join. Those that do, the ones who have a shell, will join and just ride it out, because eventually POTUS es come and go—we hope. NORTH JERSEY PRIDE 2019
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FIXING LGBTQ+ HEALTH CARE If providers don’t understand our unique challenges, how can they help us? BY JAN KAMINSKY
THE LGBTQ + COMMUNIT Y faces health disparities in both access to and quality of health care. We confront stigma from providers who may not understand our health concerns. Some health care providers err by omission, not even asking directly about sexuality or gender identity and therefore not realizing that their patients have these specific needs, risks, and concerns. Many health care providers have good intentions but may not know how to approach what they perceive as sensitive subjects. We face health problems faced by all Americans, such as heart disease, substance abuse, and mental health problems, but we also have significant health disparities as compared to our heterosexual, cisgender counterparts. Discrimination against L G B T Q + individuals and families exists in housing, employment, marriage, adoption, retirement, and health insurance. Depression, suicide, obesity, cancer risk, long-term hormone use, H I V/ A I DS and S T I s; and substance use and abuse including alcohol, smoking, and other drugs have been identified as priorities for research and represent some of the concerns that face the L G B T Q + community at disproportionately high rates. Additionally, we are victimized and experience violence at higher rates than the general population, and lack of 40
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acceptance by many of our families of origin impacts our mental health. Healthy People 2020, a 10-year agenda for improving the nation’s health, launched by the Department of Health and Human Sciences in 2010, raised awareness that our health needs are different in many ways from the general population. We must start with our youngest members, even those who may not yet identify as LGBTQ +, with efforts to prevent bullying, HIV, suicide, and homelessness in our youth. These building blocks of health will serve to decrease the gaps in care as these youth mature. Medical, Nursing, and Allied Health students must be thoroughly educated on LGBTQ + health issues in order to provide appropriate care. Preventative care for adults is a key factor as well. As adults, lesbian and bisexual women are at higher risk of obesity and late detection of cancer. Gay men have higher rates of STI s and HIV , and transgender individuals face high rates of mental health concerns, STI s/HIV , risk of suicide, and victimization. LGBTQ + adults in general face high rates of tobacco, alcohol, and drug use. The relationship between health care providers and their patients can range from very distant to very close, and the amount of information that patients feel comfortable disclosing can range widely. Creating a warm environment in which patients feel
they can share their multiple identities with their providers is essential, and in addition, health care providers have a responsibility to ask patients about our lives. Frequently, I hear from health care providers that it is challenging to ask the important questions about sexuality and gender, but we know that we as providers ask many “sensitive” questions. We have become used to asking about violence in the home and use of substances, for example, and there’s no reason that we can’t get used to asking these questions as well. Patients may be afraid of judgment and many are unsure whether it is “safe” to come out to a variety of people in their lives. They may not want to initiate the conversation themselves, but might open up to a provider who asks them kindly, but directly, about their sexuality and gender. Patients who feel comfortable disclosing their identities should do so because it might make the provider-patient relationship much more comfortable.
DIANE THOMSON, MS, COC PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZER & LIFE COACH 973.534.7974 ThomsonBlueprints.com Diane@ThomsonBlueprints.com
The Institute of Medicine and The Joint Commission have both expressed the importance of asking and collecting data about patient sexuality and gender, and plentiful research supports the importance of knowing the details of patients’ lives. Normalizing the asking of these questions can go a long way towards preventing and decreasing the health disparities faced by LGBTQ + patients. If you are a health care provider, consider adding questions about sexual and gender identity to your intake and other patient forms. If you are a patient or client, and you feel comfortable doing so, disclose your sexual and gender identity to your health care providers. This will enable your providers to better serve you. We must begin to more thoroughly explore the health care needs of our communities, starting with our youth and with preventative care. Only through decreased stigma, increased acceptance and access, and a deepened understanding of our specific health concerns can we begin to decrease the gaps in health quality for the queer community. Finding providers who ask respectfully and appropriately about gender identity, sexual identity, gender expression, and sexual behavior can make all the difference in patient outcomes, and that should be our highest priority. J AN K AM I N S KY is the Director of Education for Rainbow Health Consulting, which works with health care providers and organizations to train employees on how to better serve their LGBTQ+ clients, patients, and families.
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