Nishei Summer / Shavuos 5780

Nishei

W I S D O M

T R A N S C E N D E N C E

Jewish Women’s Magazine Summer 2020 | 5780

L I G H T

Nishei | Jewish Women’s Magazine | Summer 2020 | 5780

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Nishei | Jewish Women’s Magazine | Summer 2020 | 5780

Table of Contents Letter from the Editor..................................... 3 ◆ Integrating My True Self into Religious LIfe by Mindy Rubenstein

Tree of Life ..................................................... 4 ◆ Shavuos: Courageous Women by Michele Asa ◆ Utilizing Our Talents by Ita Rabinowitz

Connections.................................................. 6 ◆ Deposits in Your Marriage Bank Account by Miriam Racquel Feldman ◆ Parenting Q&A with Shaindy Perl

Hand of Hashem: Stories.............................. 8 ◆ Finding Faith and Judaism on the Farm by Alitza Joy Adler ◆ My Pesach Guest by Sarah Herman

Creative Souls ............................................. 10 ◆ Jewish Art & Authenticity by Marlene Burns ◆ My Dance Journey by Shani Weinmann ◆ I AM ALIVE: Meet Sarah by Judith Fox-Goldstein

Health & Healing......................................... 14 ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆ ◆

Five Life-Changing Words by Azriela Jankovic Etched in Silver on the Soul by Manya Goldstein Cleansing Guts for Clearer Minds by Rachel Smith Living with Chronic Illness by Elisheva Shields Writing Your Life Story by Leah Field

Home and Garden...................................... 20 ◆ Kosher Kitchen Organization by Esther Simon ◆ Growing Food by Hadassah Ezoory

Education..................................................... 22 ◆ Home School Q&A with Chai Gross ◆ Jewish Book Club by Emily Rosenbaum ◆ Learning Hebrew with Love by G.R. Sinclair

Recipes......................................................... 26 ◆ Baked Salmon with Pineapple-Mango Salsa and Gluten-Free Peach Cobbler by Nancy Cohen ◆ Butter Nut Shortbread Balls, Almond Joy Energy Balls, Baked Oatmeal and Black Bean Soup

by Elisheva Shields

Turning Fear into Faith by Devorah Milner....... 28

Summer 2020 | 5780 Editorial Director - Mindy Rubenstein Managing Editor - Michele Asa Assistant Editor - Shaindy Perl Editorial Advisor - Rena Schochet Copy Editor - Sandy Terminey Social Media - Elisheva Shields Graphic Design - Sandy Weber, Key 3 Creative Advertising Sales & Fundraising - Daniel Rubenstein Rabbinical Advisor - Rabbi Yaakov Fisch, Etz Chaim Synagogue Contributors Alitza Joy Adler, Marlene Burns, Nancy Cohen, Hadassah Ezoory, Miriam Racquel Feldman, Judith Fox-Goldstein, Manya Goldstein, Chai Gross, Sarah Herman, Azriela Jankovik, Devorah Milner, Shaindy Perl, Ita Rabinowitz, Emily Rosenbaum, Elisheva Shields, Esther Simon, G. R. Sinclair, Rachel Smith, Shani Weinmann, Sarita Weltman Cover art: Marlene Burns (see description, page 12) Copyright 2020 | Nishei Inc. All rights reserved.

Reproduction in printed or digital form in whole or in part without explicit permission from the publisher is prohibited.

Contact Us: Editor@Nishei.org | Ads@Nishei.org | www.Nishei.org | 404-542-5800 Nishei is printed with eco-friendly, sustainable forest paper from U.S. mills; no chemicals were used in the print process.

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Nishei Philosophy and Vision As women of Nishei, the content that we share is based on Torah values of Godliness, honesty, kindness, generosity, joy, and self expression.

Our vision is to be a light unto ourselves, our families, our communities, and the world.

Nishei Mission Statement Nishei strives to educate and inspire communities by offering a medium for creative and spiritual expression, through writing and art, to Jewish women and teenage girls of all Jewish backgrounds.

We span the vast spectrum of observance, and together we have created a beautiful, one-of-a-kind publication with meaningful, thought-provoking and inspiring content. The eight editions of Nishei we have created so far are filled with stories of women working to create within themselves a home for Hashem, bringing holiness into the world.

Nishei includes personal and profound art and writing from more than a dozen Jewish women in Florida, Atlanta, Chicago, Philadelphia, New Jersey, New York, Arizona, Los Angeles, Seattle, Hawaii, and Israel.

Thank you to our Lamplighters!

Laura Tanenbaum Miriam Racquel Feldman Sandy Roth Vicki Seznick Judith Fox-Goldstein Anonymous Nishei is a nonprofit organization. Your donations are tax deductible.

Become a Lamplighter online at Nishei.org.

Or if you prefer, send donations to Nishei, 2949 Bernice Drive, Jacksonville, FL 32257

Become a Lamplighter – Aleph – $1,800 Become a Lamplighter – Beis – $720 Become a Lamplighter – Gimel – $360 Become a Lamplighter – Daled – $180 Become a Lamplighter – Hey – $72 Nishei Magazine is available online and in print.

Contact us to receive a copy of the printed magazine, to submit art and writing, or to be added to our online women’s support group.

Editor@nishei.org • Phone: 404-542-5800 • Website - Nishei.org

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Nishei | Jewish Women’s Magazine | Summer 2020 | 5780

From the Editor Integrating My True Self into Religious Life I feel like I hover between two worlds.

I discovered a more traditional form of Judaism as an adult – already married with children – and jumped in with my entire being. Over the next 13 or so years, I tried to quickly learn and absorb the mitzvos and to emulate the beautiful, confident, religious women I was meeting – through Chabad and Oorah – who were part of a world I admired longingly from the outside, and worked tirelessly to access.

Somehow, over the next decade plus, my husband and I attempted to integrate the laws and traditions of Torah Judaism into our modern American lifestyle so seamlessly that most within this world may not realize where we came from. It’s a beautiful thing, except when it’s not. Once we moved into a Jewish community, already looking “frum” on the outside – including our children – it probably no longer seemed that we wanted anyone to try to bring us closer. We now felt an expectation, perhaps a self-imposed one, to meet the standards of the community.

I also realized that I was leaving behind part of myself in the process.

I had wanted desperately to look like

an Orthodox Jewish woman and to fit in. Ideally, as I now understand more fully, any life changes should be done gradually so they integrate with your personality rather than overcome it. In other words, religion should enhance and deepen your identity to make you a better you.

But as I looked at myself in the mirror and in photos, I hardly recognized the free-spirited, creative woman I had once been. And now I understand better why my family – especially my parents – may have balked at my new lifestyle early on.

It wasn’t so much that I adopted unfamiliar Jewish rituals, but rather that I had in essence closed a door on my former self, rather than integrate her into my new life.

Perhaps I had left behind, or ignored, parts of myself that needed tending. The Torah laws are a framework for our daily lives, a way to access the Eternal; but ironically and by design, that means looking deeply within.

For me, I think the key to embracing my identity as an observant Jewish woman was to create a balance, where my old self could come back again, but with an enhanced depth and direction. I realized that my creativity and talents could be utilized within a framework of Torah to reveal the unique aspects of myself and the role G‑d has placed before me.

As a journalist, it is part of my nature and my job to ask questions – of myself and others. I have learned to look at Torah Judaism with a dose of healthy skepticism. To dig deeper when things don’t make sense and the answers I receive don’t initially satisfy me. And that’s part of my mission with Nishei – to encourage other women to express their questions and discoveries in an effort to grow,

connect, and inspire each other.

Our talented volunteer editors, writers and artists live in Florida, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Arizona, Chicago, New York, New Jersey, and Israel. Some of us are baalei teshuva – women who grew up secular and returned to Torah Judaism. Some are geirim – Jews by choice. Some are Hassidic, Litvish, Modern Orthodox, Chabad, or new to uncovering the beauty of Judaism.

We span the vast spectrum of observance, and together with G-d’s help, we have created a meaningful, thought-provoking publication that includes advice for daily living from experts in their fields. I hope the words and images within these pages will help enrich your life, especially during and following the world-changing pandemic we have experienced together.

Have a wonderful Shavuos and summer. Looking forward to connecting with you again for our High Holiday edition. In the meantime, if there’s anything you want to see more or less of in future editions, please be in touch.

Mindy Rubenstein editor@nishei.org

Mindy Rubenstein, Nishei’s editorial director and founder, grew up in the Tampa Bay area of Florida, then lived in Maryland, Georgia, and Virginia, before returning to the Sunshine State two years ago. She earned a bachelor’s in business and writing from the University of Florida, a master’s in journalism from the University of South Florida, and has worked as a journalist and editor for two decades, with hundreds of articles published in print and online. Her hobbies include painting and ping pong. She founded Nishei in 2015 in Atlanta while homeschooling her daughter. Mindy and her husband have four children and now call Jacksonville home.

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Tree of Life

Shavuos: Courageous Women

By Michele Asa

Courage is crucial to the survival of the Jewish people.

The story of Shavuos is about the courageous women who sought to attach themselves to Hashem with all their might. Ruth left her home, wealth and prestige to follow her mother-in-law Naomi. Naomi was ridiculed by the women of her city. Both stood strong in the face of adversity and held tenaciously onto their faith in Hashem.

From Ruth comes the future redemption of the Jewish people from the Davidic line. She is the mother of mashiach.

Shavuos is also the time of the birth of the Jewish people. The role of the Jewish woman is crucial to the survival of our nation. If you look at the book of Shemos (Exodus) and read the third passuk (verse) of Chapter 19, you will see something very interesting.

It says, “Moses ascended to G-d and G-d called to him from the mountain, saying “so shall you say to the house of Jacob and relate to the children of Israel.”

Who does “the house of Jacob” refer 4

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to, that they are being told about the commandments first, even before the “children of Israel”? The “house of Jacob” are the Jewish women. G-d told Moses to tell Jewish women all about the commandments. Then, and only then, would Moses be able to relate them to the men.

Why did women need to hear it first?

Because G-d knew that if the women were not on board, it wasn’t going to happen! This applies to every woman — no matter what stage she is in her life — single, married, with or without children, young or elderly. Each woman has the power to inculcate and pass on Torah and its values.

G-d knows His people. He understands that in order for the

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continuity of the Jewish people to exist, for the value system of the commandments to be in place, Jewish women have to be convinced first and foremost of its importance and relevance. G-d knows that if women are not going to feel passionate about the Torah, it is not going to be passed on. Hashem knows that women set the tone. It is these qualities that allow Jewish values to be passed on and continue in a Jewish home.

The weeks between Pesach and Shavuos are called Sefiras Haomer.

We count the days leading up to the giving of the Torah. Hashem is very close during this time to help us in the journey toward perfecting ourselves.

This edition of Nishei is filled with

stories of women who are doing just that — working to create within themselves a home for Hashem, bringing His holiness into the world.

This Shavuos, (starting before sunset on May 28th and ending at nightfall on May 30th), take a few minutes and think about what it means to be a Jewish woman. Ask yourself what you are doing to inculcate a love of, and

a closeness to, G-d. Think about how you can continue to create a stronger love of Judaism in yourself and in your family, and in all those who you come in contact with.

May this Yom Tov be a time for the birth of inspiration to grow in your avodas Hashem — your service of G-d, and may it propel you forward to make small but lasting changes in

Utilizing our Talents

your everyday life.

Michele Asa, originally from South Africa, lives in the Toco Hills neighborhood of Atlanta. She works as a family nurse practitioner and is completing certification as a functional nutrition practitioner.

Michele leads the Atlanta chapter of OJNA (Orthodox Jewish Nurses Association) and serves as co-president of Atlanta Bikur Cholim. An avid reader, Michele and her husband, Rabbi Ariel Asa, a mohel and sofer, have four children and multiple grandchildren.

By Ita Rabinowitz

We say in Shemoneh Esrei: Our G-d and the G-d of our fathers, the G-d of Avraham the G-d of Yitzchak and the G-d of Yaakov On the surface, this seems very redundant isn’t “the G-d of Avraham the G-d of Yitzchak and the G-d of Yaakov” the same as saying “the G-d of our fathers”?

However, each one of the avos was mentioned separately because each had his own unique strengths and his own unique approach to serving Hashem. They had value as a group, but also as individuals.

Each one of us has special talents, strengths and challenges. It is specifically through each person’s unique personality and situation that he is meant to serve Hashem.

It is important to use the talents Hashem gave us and not try to bury them or ignore them. We aren’t meant to be carbon copies of one another.

Rather, we each need to serve Hashem to the best of our ability using the gifts that He gave us.

Rebbetzin Ita Rabinowitz, born in New York, lives in Jacksonville, FL. An accomplished musician and computer programmer, she serves as principal of Jacksonville Torah High School. She is the devoted mother to 11 children K”H. Nishei | Jewish Women’s Magazine | Summer 2020 | 5780

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Connections

Deposits in Your Marriage Bank Account

By Miriam Racquel Feldman

Dear Awesome Woman, I’ve been married for 20+ years, B”H (Baruch Hashem, thank G-d), and for many of those years I did not follow nor even know of the marriage tips that I’m sharing with you here.

And my marriage and health paid the price. Now, it’s been about eight years that I’ve been practicing these, and what a difference! There were other techniques I used as well— ones to clear resentment, deal with disappointment, own my shadows, set boundaries and limits, and practice -major self-care— that all helped create a home of greater emotional safety and love. And though I am not perfect and slip at times, the foundation is so much stronger that the slip up is only a minor bump on the road instead of leading to lost nights of sleep and conflict, as in the past. I invite you to use these tips and know that each time practiced is a golden nugget in your marriage bank account.

Sacred Silence If you can, try remaining silent when you feel the urge to correct the way your husband does something, wears something or says something.

Sometimes as women we can think that “we know better,” but it’s a knock to our husband’s self-esteem to constantly correct him. Instead, do an act of sacred silence.

Send Your Husband Appreciations Throughout the week, share 6

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messages, texts, little notes or spoken words of gratitude towards your husband. It’s not only for his benefit in feeling like a star in your eyes, but it’s also a great habit for us to “never take anything for granted.” You can say thank you and add a quality or feeling to the appreciation—for example, point out that when he listens to your worries, you feel emotionally supported; when he takes the kids out to the park, you get the needed break that you so desperately desired; that when he does the shopping, you appreciate his dedication to the family; that when he works, you appreciate him taking responsibility.

By pointing out the little things that make him your hero, you’ll have a man who feels like he can make his wife happy. He’s getting the most important thing in life “right,” and that is his relationship with you. Even if you feel disgruntled over the things he doesn’t do, these appreciations are like gold nuggets in your marriage bank account, and things can shift for the better.

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Your Feelings Count Emotions are “energy in motion” and present as physical sensations in your body. When you put your awareness on them—notice the clenching of the jaw, the tension in the chest, the nervousness in the stomach—the energy begins to flow.

This benefits your body and provides important intuitive guidance for you that shows up as an image, a neutral thought or a word. This is also an act of self-compassion—taking the time to be honest with yourself and go within. We’re less likely to lash out at our husbands when we are kind to ourselves.

Miriam Racquel (Meryl) Feldman was born in Pomona, New York, and lives in Chicago. She is a somatic healer, clarity and relationship coach, and writer. Her area of expertise runs the gamut from helping women to have better marriages and to heal from trauma, anxiety, and physical pain ailments to helping them overcome toxic relationships. She is driven to empower women to discover a clear path to joy by trusting the wisdom of their bodies, emotions, souls, and intuition. She is a mom, a weaver of the Welcoming Nests and a blogger of the mystical happenings of an ever-changing world. Her website is MiriamRacquel.com.

Parenting Q&A

With Shaindy Perl

Question: Sometimes I think that me being an over-zealous BT (baal teshuvah) may have pushed my teens away from religion. The truth is, I secretly have my own questions and uncertainties, but I never express those to them. How can I adjust my approach for my younger children who think I have all the answers?

Answer: Some parents share their questions, some don’t. Some preach constantly about their hashkafos (religious views) and beliefs, others don’t. And all these different parents can have children who love living a Torah life and those who struggle to find their path.

In fact, from the children’s perspectives, there are also those who appreciate exploring religious questions with their parents and those who prefer seeing their parents as strong in their beliefs and sure of the teachings they share.

Please don’t blame yourself or a specific behavior — or lack thereof.

As parents, we try our best to keep our finger on the pulse of each child,

In this stressful time it is more important than ever for all of us to remember to give ourselves “a bit of love”!

I try to keep in mind as I go through my day! ♥” - Shaindy Perl and certainly it is commendable to take a step back and see when a particular child needs a new or different approach, but no approach can guarantee a specific result.

I believe it is important to convey how Torah gives our life joy and meaning and connection, and we must keep praying for Hashem to help us in the complex task of raising our children. But ultimately, they each have their own journey, and in fact, having you as their parent is also part of G-d’s plan and part of their

individual journey.

Parenting is hard enough without the guilt. Especially during this challenging time, it is so important to amplify the positive self-talk and eliminate those thoughts that bring us down. You, and all of us, are just awesome Jewish women!

Shaindy Perl lives in Monsey, New York. A published author of more than a dozen books, she is also a certified coach and relationship workshop leader. She is passionate about personal growth and loves to visit places of natural beauty. She and her husband have six children K”H. Learn more about her books and coaching at www.ShaindyPerl.com.

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Hand of Hashem

Finding Faith and Judaism on the Farm

By Alitza Joy Adler I would like to share with you the story of how I feel that G-d’s hand has been ever present in my life.

As a young girl, I absolutely loved it when my mother would read to me Bible stories each night from an old, dilapidated storybook. My favorite of all was the Exodus from Egypt.

One day we went to a small bookstore, and my mother purchased a vinyl record with a dramatization of the Exodus story. I still have it to this day and enjoy it very much; it’s still my favorite story. Because of that record, I had a repeating question in my mind: How can I be one of those Israelites?

You see, I was not raised Jewish, and this question was on my mind as a child well before I chose Judaism as an adult.

I think that the story was significant to me for reasons unknown to me at the time, but later on in life it began to make complete sense. My mother was good friends with a Jewish girl growing up and she shared with me memories of going to her friend’s home to play and eat dinner and even remembered the prayers said at their table. I grew up in a home that was very Judeo like. I think both of my parents were careful to make connections to the roots of their beliefs and practices, those roots being in what they called the “Old Testament” — what I know now as the Torah.

Moving forward to when I was a young, single adult, while I was out on 8

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Alitza Joy’s family farm in Ohio. Below, she rides on her father’s tractor.

my family’s farm in Ohio, my dad was pulling the big haywagon behind his tractor up a very steep hill to the top where our apple orchard was located.

My mother and I were riding on the wagon when it came unhitched, and we quickly jumped off!

I don’t know why, but my dad ran to grab the hitch, which had poked into the ground and stopped the wagon.

But when he picked the hitch up, the wagon rolled, pitched him through the air and then rolled on top of him! I ran over and I remember my dad pleading that I lift the wagon so that he could slide his leg out from under the wheel.

I called out to G-d for help. Just a simple, fast plea, “Oh G-d help me!” and pushed up along with my mother (with a lot of adrenaline flowing for sure), and we were somehow able to lift that heavy wagon so that he could

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slide his leg out. My parents and I were flustered afterwards, mostly concerned for dad’s leg which was only bruised!

We spoke about it being crazy; we were so thankful no one was badly hurt or worse, and we realized that it had to be His hand of protection. But I couldn’t help but think about that big, heavy wagon made of pieces of steel and thick lumber and bolts and big wheels…

The next day I went out to that wagon and was standing there thinking about all that had happened, and I knew without a doubt that I had Hashem’s help. A moment that I feared for my dad’s life was turned around into something beautiful.

It wasn’t long after that, my dad shared with me some of the things that he was reading and questioning in his own mind, and he is the one who got me to looking at Israel and considering the Jewish people and their ways.

My dad was a very gentle, calm, balanced man, and I’ve always admired him for that. Throughout my adulthood he talked to me many times about his thoughts, and I think that he would always present them to me as questions so that I would seek my own answers. And I did. For example, if there were 12 tribes, there had to be descendants of those tribes. And if G-d

wanted to bring his people, grafted together with Judah as prophesied in Ezekiel, where are they, how will it happen and when? Could I be one of the ingathered?

Eventually, I couldn’t stand it anymore and had to look more closely at the Jewish people. I had to ask them questions, and I truly believe that Hashem guided my life so that I ended up where I am today.

I am a soul that was tucked away in a faraway corner on a farm needing to be sparked. There have been several instances in my life where I’ve had close calls and I cried out to G-d for help and I was saved by a hair’s

breadth, and looking back at those situations I can see that Hashem answered my prayer in an instant and protected my life.

I think that it strengthened my belief/faith to pray to Hashem and to know that he hears. Today I have a deeper understanding of prayer, because so much of Jewish life is prayer. When you read accounts of various individuals during the ancient history of our people in the Chumash, you will see the accounts of their conversations with Hashem.

And of course, King David wrote his prayers down, as did various rabbis only centuries ago. They were

My Pesach Guest

By Sarah Herman Erev Pesach, I was feeling down about how low key the day was.

I’m usually working like crazy to get the last minute preparations completed for a big seder with guests. But here I was, hours before candle lighting with energy and time to spare.

I had just read a book to my four year old that emphasized and explained why we state during Maggid, “All who are hungry, come and eat; all who are needy come and celebrate Passover”. For us this is usually said at a table full of strangers and friends alike, and adds great meaning to our seder. We have always had an “orphans’ Seder” the first night.

We had single folks, people whose families are far away or not religious, or who don’t have Jewish family with whom they can celebrate.

Obviously this year would be

different. Not only are we not having guests, but we haven’t set foot outside our property in four weeks.

We’re exceedingly cautious because my nine year old has severe asthma that has resulted in more hospitalizations than we can count.

She’s very high risk for complications from any cold or flu virus, so she’s particularly at risk with COVID-19.

Someone posted that they saw a big tortoise at the park near us. I told my mom on the phone that morning that I looked forward to taking the girls there someday soon to try to see the tortoise, since the wildlife in Florida is far and away their favorite part of living here.

I was feeling a little ennui, and decided to step out the front door to enjoy the sunlight and fresh air.

A big tortoise walked right up onto my porch out of my landscaping! I hollered into the house for everyone to hurry and come look. I had just washed romaine lettuce and my

comfortable and accustomed to having constant contact with the Creator.

I recently finished reading a small booklet about hitbodedut — secluded meditation with G-d. It was so inspiring and confirmed what I think I had known even since I was very young. That I do have a connection with HaShem and that through my voice I can reach out to Him just like so very many before me.

Alitza (Joy) Adler, born in Ohio, lives with her family in Jacksonville. She works for a clinic serving patients with eating disorders. Her passions include healthy eating, gardening, essential oils, and plant-based whole nutrition with Arbonne. She has two children and loves spending as much time as possible being active outdoors.

husband ran to get a bag to feed our guest. The tortoise chomped it right up. It walked back and forth across our yard and driveway for 30 minutes or so, and we followed it oohing and aahing every minute.

Afterwards we marveled at how fortuitous this visitor was. Not only had I just been talking about wanting to show the girls this very animal, but I’d been feeling sad about not having guests for Pesach. I couldn’t help but feel that Hashem was looking directly at us and letting us know we were doing right by staying in, and he wanted us to have a special guest as well. It was a perfect gift and blessing.

Sarah Herman, born in Texas, lives in Jacksonville, FL. Currently a stay-at-home mom, she loves to cook, swim, bike leisurely, read, and dabble in interior design. She is passionate about helping others in and out of the community. She prefers savory foods over dessert, but won’t turn down a proper Southern pecan pie (gluten free, of course).

She is the mama to two beautiful, strong, and bright young ladies, and says they are the best gifts G-d ever brought to her. “Everything I do is to make their world a more positive and healthy place where they can live out their dreams without boundaries.”

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Creative Souls

Jewish Art & Authenticity

By Marleen Burns

About the Cover Art Counting of the Omer, “Sefirat HaOmer,” is the ritual performed for the 49 days between the second day of Passover and the next festival of Shavuot. Each day, we count and remember the sheaf of grain that was offered during Temple times. This period not only marks the beginning of the barley harvest but also connects our liberation from slavery to our redemption at Mt. Sinai, with the giving of the Torah.

Kabbalistically, we utilize these days to delve into the attributes of our souls with the intention of improving our characters. Each week, we study one of the lower seven sefirot: Strength, Loving-Kindness, Beauty, Eternity, Awe, Foundation, and Kingship. The top three represent the attributes of the mind: Understanding, Knowledge, and Wisdom. The sefirot are topped with the crown.

In this visual expression, the configuration of the sefirot and the barley offering are superimposed over

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the image of the tablets that were given to our people at Sinai.

Each sefirah has an assigned color.

Beauty (Tiferet) is purple and the midpoint in the sefirot arrangement.

Besides anchoring the arrangement of the 10 sefirot, it merges the two sefirot on either side: Loving-Kindness (Chesed) and Strength (Gevurah). The same purple was chosen to anchor the design with the arches of the tablets.

Q&A with Marlene How did you begin your journey/career as an artist?

As a child, I was interested in and privileged to study all of the arts: Fine art, dance, music, and drama. When

marleneburns©2020 All Rights Reserved

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it was time to apply to a university, I chose fine art for my studies and earned both my bachelor’s and master’s degrees from the School of Design, Architecture, and Art at the University of Cincinnati. I apprenticed in an art studio during those years and taught art in the public schools upon the completion of my studies.

After a few years, I realized that I needed to be painting full time. I never stopped to consider if I could survive on commissions. I only knew that doing something else during the day was sapping my energy and creativity.

What challenges did you overcome early on? And now?

Early on, the biggest challenge was

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to survive and not end up starving in an attic. Being a professional artist is a fickle business. There are no secret formulas for success. Talent is not enough. It is a combination of a consistent body of authentic work, and effective marketing as well. That last one is the real stickler! You must spend a portion of your day getting your art out there for the public to see, whether it be in galleries, shows, publications, through art dealers or lectures. Over the years, the way art sells has changed dramatically. Back in the day, I stayed home and painted all day for the galleries that represented me. When the paintings were complete, they were picked up and when they sold, I was sent a check. These days, I spend a large percentage of my time marketing and most of my sales occur online.

Collectors buy directly from me.

Today’s challenge is to know my target audience and keep offering them provocative work.

What prompted you to begin your Jewish/mystical series of paintings?

I apprenticed in sanctuary art. My mentor taught me that a pretty design is not enough when the art is an expression of one’s religious beliefs.

The artist needs to be ‘all in’ when it comes to understanding the subject.

If I have no feelings about a specific prayer, I cannot authentically express

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it. My job is to help the viewer feel and understand through the added visual dimension.

My avocation is Hebrew education.

I have been a lay leader, teacher, and tutor in several communities for the past 30 years. Normally, I paint in the abstract expressionist style, which allows me to turn my insides out onto the canvas. About 10 years ago, a simple conversation about the Shema prompted the first painting in this series, now 27 strong. I couldn’t clear my head of the conversation, so I decided to paint it out. Six weeks later, I had the first nine paintings of the series and have been adding to it ever since. The series now examines proverbs, psalms, holidays, and greetings.

Each painting has an accompanying text that allows me to expound on the subject as an artist and an educator.

These texts are an integral part of the paintings.

More than why I began, I’d like to address why I continue. ‘Sacred Intention’ has been the most significant series of my career in that it marries my two passions for painting and Hebrew education. I offer this series in prints in order to spread the messages to larger audiences. The work requires me to stay in learning mode as I research and prepare the next offering. It took 40 years, but I returned to sanctuary art, taking the

marleneburns©2020 All Rights Reserved

lessons I learned and applying them to my style and Judaism.

How does your relationship with G-d impact your art?

As an artist, authenticity is key. If an artist is just painting pretty things, and there is no real intention, there is no real value of the process. With this series, aptly named “Sacred Intention,” it is all about the kavanah. I study these texts, commentary, have years of saying them with kavanah, loving them, teaching them. My viewers feel it if I am authentic and that is my intention. When I was in 10th grade, my art teacher, who was a professional artist who taught to keep a regular paycheck coming in to support his family, never signed a painting. He was a religious man and said that he would only sign it if he put down G-d’s name as well. I never forgot that. In our tradition, we are in partnership with G-d, and not a moment goes by when the brush is in my hand that I forget from whom my gift was given.

Marlene Burns earned two degrees in fine art and did an apprenticeship in sanctuary art. She has lived in Cleveland, Detroit, Scottsdale and now, Tucson, painting every step of the way. She has raised two children and has multiple grandchildren and granddogs. Her partner is retired from the printing industry and, given his sense of aesthetics, is her best critic and supporter. She has been a lay leader for services in her Jewish community, as well as a Hebrew teacher and private tutor. Her website is art-marleneburns.com.

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Creative Souls

My Dance Journey

By Shani Weinmann As a little girl, I did what many girls do as soon as they learn to walk: I took ballet. While the other girls in the class dropped out one by one, I stuck with it. I continued to study under two amazing women and despite my many frustrations, my mother (a past dancer herself) encouraged me not to quit.

Eventually, in my early teens and self motivated, I worked my way up the levels at my studio. However, I always felt somewhat encumbered due to restrictions in the Jewish religion about performing in the presence of men. The studio was a second home to me, a much needed life outside of my Orthodox school that seemed to give me only one way of thinking. It gave me an opportunity to be friends with so many different people; to have a world that was special and filled with people that understood this part of me.

After high school, I knew I wanted to keep dancing, but convinced that I was not advanced enough due to lack of performing experience, I didn’t think I could ever make dance a career. However, in Israel I discovered a new and exciting world where religious people did everything and I wanted in. During seminary I joined a charedi (ultra-Orthodox) dance company called Halelu, where I still dance to this day. The environment is supportive and wholesome and every performance is crafted with love and a devotion to religious ideals and personal journeys. The diversity in the religious levels and backgrounds of the women make for a strong and 12

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“They will praise His Name in dance.”

Tehillim (Psalm) 149:3

harmonious group. I don’t know what I would do without these friends for life.

Following an almost three-year break from dancing due to the army, I jumped right back into the company while working for the seminary I attended. One day, a friend told me to audition for the Academy of Music and Dance, a prestigious and culturally diverse school in Jerusalem. On a whim, I went. Not for a second did I consider it seriously but truly enjoyed myself as I got a number (just like in the movies) and fell in line with the other participants. Little did I know that the letter of acceptance I got two months later would change the trajectory of my life.

While the school isn’t inherently religious, it functions based on Jewish ideals and an understanding of all nationalities and their customs. Also, the overall non-religious environment was one I was used to, having grown up in a small Atlanta community and

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having served in the Israeli Army.

Because of this, I knew how to be my own person amongst others who are not exactly the same as me. My biggest fear was compensating for the professionalism and skill I believed I lacked. Constantly comparing myself to others and analyzing myself in front of a mirror proved an even bigger challenge.

Every day I must remind myself that I was given an opportunity and a gift others only dream of, to inspire through dance. I enjoy spreading positive messages through my performances and am aiming towards a career in Dance Therapy one day.

Maybe my story is just a message to never think of anything as a dead end but rather see every journey and its obstacles (such as the religious, physical, or mental aspects I faced) as a reminder of the mission we all have to use the talents that G-d gave us to impact others. If not, what’s the point of having a gift in the first place?

Shani Weinmann was born in Atlanta and grew up in the Jewish community of Toco Hills.

She attended Torah Day School of Atlanta and Yeshiva Atlanta before coming to Midreshet Harova in Israel and then joining the IDF, where she served in the Artillery Force as a Combat Medic. She went back to Harova as a Madricha and is now studying Dance at the Jerusalem Academy of Music and Dance.

Meet Sarah: “I AM ALIVE!”

By Judith Fox-Goldstein

During this unprecedented time, like so many others I found myself seeking answers to the question, “Why would G-d allow such suffering?”

Then, I read Mindy Rubenstein’s article, “I AM ALIVE” (Nishei, Spring edition), relating the story of a young Jewish man being wheeled to his death during the Holocaust with other seemingly lifeless bodies. At the last moment he managed to get out in Yiddish just three words: “I am alive!”

Each utterance louder and louder, “I AM ALIVE!” “I AM ALIVE!” His life was spared and he went on to live a full life with children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Days after reading the article, I could not think of anything other than the words “I AM ALIVE!” Repeating the words like a mantra I wondered, “What does this mean to me? What am I supposed to do with these words?”

Finding myself with an increased sense of responsibility, emotion and purpose, I was propelled into action with the knowledge that I was alive, safe and surrounded by untold resources…so I got to work!

I felt compelled to connect with my “heart-circle” of women and take my artwork in a new and inclusive direction. With just one question circulating around the country: “Today, I am feeling…”?— I reached out to over 70 women and the “KOKUA” Connection sprang into full gear.

(I spent several decades living in Hawaii, and the common Hawaiin word “kokua” means “help.”)

Women immediately began responding with words and thoughts that expressed their current feelings—such as courage, power, strength, apprehension, determination and insight. Some, even in their deepest sadness, continued holding up the world—nurturing their families, supporting their children, spouses, partners, parents and friends.

Their endless strength, compassion, determination and endurance was heard loud and clear. And they wanted to give WORDS to what they were feeling.

My outreach to these women was making a difference!

The image became clear. So many words and stories were

coming forth. My job was to listen and to interpret their words and feelings into this one image of SARAH - “I AM ALIVE!” Dedicated to creating a litany of ALIVE-inspired work, I’m grateful for the sense of urgency and creativity I feel in this moment. If my work moves one person – then I’m making a difference.

Mahalo (thank you) to my dear friend, Mindy, for your enduring friendship, your words and stories that will linger forever. Moving forward, my new work will reflect our collective human spirit as “I” becomes “WE” – motivated, reflective, determined and filled with hope, together.

Shaloha!

Judith Judith Fox-Goldstein was born in New York, spent 30 years on the Big Island of Hawaii, and now lives in St. Johns, Florida. A professional writer and artist, she is passionate about sharing the stories of the strong women she creates through her paintings. Her work can be found in galleries and other locations throughout Northeast Florida. To learn more about Judith’s art, email her at jude2hawaii@yahoo.com.

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Health and Healing

Five Life-Changing Words

By Azriela Jankovic My mental health journey has had many twists and turns – both extreme highs and extreme lows over the course of my near 40 years on this planet. For now, I’d like to share one pivotal moment of this journey with you – because this moment was a springboard into my recovery from one of my darkest, and most difficult moments.

It was the year 2012, and as mother of three young children, I was busily juggling numerous responsibilities, all the while trying to maintain the persona of ‘having everything together.’

I had grown accustomed to being hard on myself, continually pushing myself to do more, because I was never doing ‘enough.’ With a private practice as an education specialist, a doctoral course load, carpools to run, a home to attend to, and an image to ‘uphold,’ I was juggling far more than I could handle. This juggling ended abruptly in a physical, mental, and emotional breakdown. I became so unwell that I was no longer able to keep up with responsibilities.

Ultimately this breakdown led me to not one but three psychiatric inpatient facilities over the course of three weeks in which I was unable to see my children who were home celebrating Chanukah in my absence and wondering where their Ima was and why they couldn’t see me. There’s a lot that I could say about my time in these hospitals, as well as the array of therapies and programs that I went through after my release, but there is 14

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one moment, which after months of despair, I’d like to highlight for you today.

Over the course of many months, I began a slow recovery in which there was not much progress. I was devastated, and I continually judged myself harshly for having taken too much on, blaming myself for the breakdown, and thinking that I should have known better.

Reflecting back, one silver lining of this ‘breakdown’ was that for the first time, I was seeking out helping professionals and supportive friendships in which I could be vulnerable, honest, and real about my situation. My honesty and openness became the door through which hope could enter.

Many months into my recovery, a close friend invited me out for coffee.

Tears were streaming into my cup until one sentence spoken by this friend knocked on the door of my heart, compassionately waking it up from its slumber.

“YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG” These five words inspired a mindset shift that would change my life. Upon

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hearing them, I looked up for the first time in what may have been months, and realized that there was a clear blue sky above us. As if something magical had transpired, I was suddenly able to notice life happening outside of my own despair. If her words were true, and it made me feel better to absorb them, then what would happen if I made a conscious effort to notice and focus on what I was doing right?

An idea came to me in a flash: I would return home and begin to write down the acts that I was doing in order to bring more kindness into the world. My list began with seemingly ‘basic’ tasks, but as days and weeks of journaling turned into months, the list grew, and the act of noticing my intentions brought me great peace of mind. Reflecting back, I believe it also contributed to my overall health and wellbeing in significant ways.

I began to intuit a part of myself – perhaps it was my soul – that on a deep level, sought to do only good in this world. As I have come to believe, I am just like everyone else in this sense.

Each one of our souls yearn to serve, to do good, and to bring more kindness into our world.

May you be blessed in this journey to continually notice and manifest the pure and kind soul that is within you.

Azriela Jankovic is an educator, speaker, mastermind facilitator and self-coaching advocate. She hosts the ‘Within Us’ Podcast, a show dedicated to sharing transformational tools for mind, body, and spirit. She is the author of ‘Beyond All Things: Insights to Awaken Joy, Purpose, and Spiritual Connection.’ Azriela earned a doctoral degree in education, with a research focus on the power of beliefs and relationships to meaningfully impact our lives and our collective good. In 2015 Azriela moved from California to a small community in central Israel where she gratefully resides with her husband and four children.

Etched in Silver on the Soul

By Manya Goldstein

Eight years ago, I landed in Israel for the first time and spent a phenomenal summer connecting to my heritage and giving back to the land on NCSY GIVE (Girls Israel Volunteer Experience), a Jewish youth group program.

I am eternally grateful to NCSY for giving me such a special inaugural Israel experience. Toward the end of the program, we each had the opportunity to purchase something from Hadaya, an engraved jewelry line popular in the seminary world. I knew long before I left Florida what I wanted my ring to say: Gam Zu Letovah, a famous Jewish expression that literally means, “This too is for the good,” and is commonly translated as, “Everything happens for a reason.”

I don’t know why Gam Zu Letovah always resonated with me. Some things don’t have a rational explanation.

They simply speak to us on a soul level, a level that knows us better than we know ourselves—and that knows what strength we will need in the future.

Fast forward four years later. I had just started college at Rutgers University when I was diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), an autonomic nervous system disorder with debilitating symptoms ranging from pre-fainting spells to extreme dizziness, fatigue, gastrointestinal pain, brain fog, insomnia...and the list goes on. POTS made everyday tasks excruciatingly challenging, and I found myself repeatedly looking down at my silver Hadaya ring—Gam Zu Letovah engraved in large Hebrew letters—and hoping, praying, that the words were true.

Fast forward another five years and I know without a shadow of a doubt that the words I carried on my finger throughout my health journey are the absolute truth.

POTS completely changed who I am as an individual, transforming me into an infinitely more self-aware, compassionate and growth-oriented version of my former self. That alone would have been enough, but POTS also introduced me to an entirely new universe of knowledge.

After the conventional treatments failed, I turned to the world of holistic medicine and became enthralled by the connection of food and lifestyle to disease. I also learned about neuroplasticity, the ability of our brains to rewire themselves, and how we can play an active role in the process. Most recently, I discovered the power of our subconscious beliefs and how we can rewrite the software of our minds to create enormous changes in our lives. (I am a certified PSYCH-K facilitator if anyone is interested in trying it out!) I am beyond grateful for the entire journey—the good, the bad and the ugly—because it brought me to where I am today. Gam Zu Letovah, indeed.

Last summer, I returned to Israel for the first time since NCSY GIVE eight years ago. What began as a three-week trip turned into an unforgettable year-long adventure. I lived in Jerusalem and experienced real Israeli society while teaching English to rambunctious Israeli boys. I had to return home early due to COVID-19, but I first made sure to visit Hadaya in the Old City. I felt like my life journey warranted a new ring, and I left with the inscription, “I cried out to you and you healed me” (Tehillim 30). The words ring true for my health journey, and I pray they ring even louder for our current global pandemic. May we all experience complete healing in body, mind and soul—together with the entire world.

Manya Goldstein, originally from Jacksonville, FL, is a health journalist who graduated from Rutgers University in 2019 and spent the past year teaching English in Jerusalem on the Masa Israel Teaching Fellowship.

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Health and Healing

Cleansing Guts for Clearer Minds

By Rachel Smith In the summer of 2013, our ordinary family set out on an extraordinary journey that would completely change our lives.

We emptied our pantry, donated all of our food, and committed to living healthier. We were motivated to help one of our children, who was delayed at the time, and had to attend a special-ed preschool.

While we thought the school was absolutely fantastic in working with our child, we recognized that in the child’s first year there, there was not much progress made. So we began to search for alternative ways to help our child, and we found the GAPS diet.

Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride, creator of the GAPS (Gut and Psychology Syndrome) diet, established that there is a connection between gut health and brain function.

She developed the GAPS diet, which she used to recover her child from autism. People have used this diet to heal themselves or their children from ADD, dyslexia, depression, schizophrenia, OCD, eating disorders, and more. Dr. Campbell-McBride describes these and similar conditions as symptoms of the same problem – leaky gut (increased intestinal permeability allowing harmful substances, such as bacteria, toxins, and undigested food particles, to pass into your bloodstream) and poor gut health.

The diet focuses on removing foods 16

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that are damaging the gut and adding foods that restore gut health. The GAPS diet is meant to be followed strictly for about two years (depending on each individual’s situation and progress) before slowly reintroducing healthy non-GAPS foods, such as potatoes and grains.

Before the GAPS diet, our family ate a typical standard American diet (SAD). We ate breakfast cereals and pancakes, yogurt and fish sticks, pasta and pizza, cookies and candy. We thought that was normal, and we didn’t realize that we were harming ourselves and destroying our gut health. I have since learned that food

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can be the best medicine, and food can keep us healthy so we don’t need to rely on medicine in the first place.

When we started on the GAPS diet, we ate lots of homemade soups, nonstarchy vegetables (cooked, raw, and fermented), eggs, chicken, meat, fresh juiced veggies, and the occasional nuts, nut butters, and honeysweetened treats. We learned to make our own mayonnaise, ketchup, almond milk, and raw-milk based yogurt. Over the years we’ve slowly added in other foods, and we are eating a full and varied diet consisting of real whole foods rather than laboratory produced food-like substances. We have learned to listen to our bodies and stay away from the foods that our bodies don’t appreciate (ranging from gluten to dairy to oatmeal to cholent!).

Eating healthy can certainly be a challenge at times. There were times when I personally fell off the wagon

and became addicted to sugar again (mostly when I was pregnant). There were times when it was challenging for the children not to be able to participate in food-centered celebrations or school projects. My older children now pride themselves on how well they eat, and they are educated about what is in the food that they eat. They are empowered to make their own food decisions – and they choose so well!

My advice to people who would like to eat healthy is to focus on foods that are as close to their natural state as possible. Read ingredients lists on food labels. If a food is full of sugar, food colors, or ingredients that you have never heard of or can’t pronounce, it is probably not good for you. Most packaged foods today are full of junk and sugar, even foods you wouldn’t expect to be unhealthy.

Read the ingredients in ketchup, mayonnaise, or yogurt, for example – foods that are not generally considered “junk” - and you will see that they are full of refined sugars.

Most people don’t realize how much sugar they eat, even in nonsnack foods! Ingredients lists can often be deceptive too. “Natural flavors” sounds healthy but it is actually a deceptive marketing term that includes thousands of chemicals, and a way for manufacturers to sneak in ingredients that are bad for you without disclosing them. Stick to foods where you recognize the ingredients as healthy foods themselves. Better yet, stay away from manufactured and packaged foods as much as you can!

While it can be difficult to find and afford kosher grass-fed meat and raw milk, in general I find that eating healthy rarely presents issues with keeping kosher because real whole foods, such as vegetables, are universally kosher.

I believe that G-d gave us each a body and a soul, and we are tasked

with taking care of them and keeping them both as pure as we can. The job of our bodies is to serve G-d, so we need to do everything we can to keep ourselves healthy. (I often wonder why some of the most unhealthy foods are considered kosher. Perhaps the ingredients are kosher, but I imagine there are halachic issues with eating certain foods or eating a certain way that I don’t really see addressed.)

Oh, and our “delayed” child? Our

child made so much progress on this diet that by the middle of the school year, the child’s teacher wanted our child to move from the special ed class to an integrated class. By the next school year our child was in a mainstream class.

Rachel Smith is a wife and mother of five amazing children ka”h. She works in the actuarial field for a life insurance company. She enjoys weaving, sewing, and babywearing. She lives in Jacksonville, Florida.

Main foods on GAPS diet: • Bone broth • Fermented foods such as vegetables and yogurt • Good-quality, grass-fed meat and natural fats • Fresh-pressed vegetable and fruit juices • Non-starchy vegetables

Rachel’s Creamy Zucchini Soup 2 Tablespoons oil (I prefer avocado oil) 2 onions, chopped 2-3 zucchinis, unpeeled and diced 2 yellow squash, unpeeled and diced 2-4 stalks celery, chopped 4-8 cups homemade chicken broth or water Salt and pepper to taste Sauté onions in oil on medium-high heat until translucent. Add diced zucchini, yellow squash, and celery and continue to sauté for about 5 minutes. Add chicken broth or water until vegetables are just covered. Add salt and pepper. Cook covered on medium heat for about 45 minutes. Blend until smooth (with hand blender or in batches in a blender). Enjoy!

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Health and Healing

Living with Chronic Illness

By Elisheva Shields

What were your first symptoms and how did you receive a diagnosis?

I was in several car accidents in the early 1990s, so when I started having recurrent pains 10 years later, I thought it must be my body catching up with me. My knee was a constant pain, so I went to the doctor who told me I had torn my meniscus. After that surgery my knee was so incredibly painful that I knew something else was going on.

My knee was very hot and swollen, and nothing could touch it without causing me excruciating pain. It was like a fresh sunburn all the time. The pain then spread to my foot. The foot doctor said I had tarsal tunnel syndrome and did a release surgery. The pain only got worse after that, so they tried another surgery.

I was then diagnosed with Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (now called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome), which is a condition in which your body heals, but your nervous system doesn’t realize it, so it keeps reacting as if it is being currently traumatized. The pain escalated even more and began traveling up both legs. Then I started having similar full-body pain and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I also have other comorbid conditions that continue to affect me on a daily basis.

How did your life change?

My daily activities declined at home and out in the community. I had been very involved in shul, but I wasn’t able to continue. Slowly I became unable to attend Shabbos services or even weekly classes. That was really difficult for me.

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I wasn’t able to shop at most stores since I had to use an electric scooter and only a few stores provide them. My relationships with others changed, my marriage changed. I doubt there is any part of my life that hasn’t been changed over the years because of my health challenges.

Did you try alternative therapies?

Yes, acupuncture, acupressure, physical and aqua therapy, chiropractic, massage, herbs and supplements, yoga, biofeedback, radiofrequency ablation, and epidurals. So far, nothing promising. I’m at the “you just have to live with it” phase.

What are some challenges you have overcome?

The stress of being bedridden and homebound. The medicines and side effects, which cause additional problems. Changing my perspectives and attitudes. Lowering my standards, not demanding so much of myself. I had to get over feeling guilty for having to say “no.” Friends saying “but you don’t look sick.” Family members saying “you just need to get out more” or “it can’t be that bad.” Realizing I don’t owe anyone an explanation. Realizing I can’t make someone understand, and that’s okay.

Having doctors tell me there is no cure, so I just have to “live with it.” Or worse,

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it’s “all in my head.”

What message do you have for people who don’t understand what it means to have a chronic illness?

Good question. Imagine having the flu or a cold that never goes away.

You’re so exhausted you can’t get out of bed, but you can’t sleep either. Or you stub your toe and the pain doesn’t go away, but stays with you for years on end. It’s not going to go away unless a miracle happens. What would you do?

How would you cope? No one knows until they’re in a particular situation.

For me, many attitude and character adjustments were necessary in order for me to remain mentally and emotionally healthy. I would like people to know that the great majority of people who claim to have a chronic illness are not faking.

They are not just seeking attention. They did not bring it on themselves. Judge favorably, try to understand, be kind.

How has it affected your Emunah/Bitachon?

My faith was very strong before my illnesses changed my life and it is even stronger now. I guess what they say is true, that whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I am a convert to Judaism, so my faith was tested in a big way before. I admit there have been times of frustration and

disappointments, doubts and fears. But I’m not rattled as easily now. I can let things go easier now. I am happy and content. I realize that EVERYONE has challenges. Mine are no worse than anyone else’s. I believe Hashem has given me these specific circumstances for my benefit. Baruch Hashem, He has always helped me and I have no doubt that He always will.

Anything else you would like to add?

I want to say Thank You to our community. This is the warmest, most generous, beautiful group of people I’ve ever known. So many people have helped me in so many wonderful ways over the years. And their help continues even now. I love you all and appreciate

Writing Your Life Story

By Leah Field So many of us are struggling with low self-esteem and self-sabotage. It’s important that we understand why we do what we do and gain an awareness and appreciation for ourselves – in order to change our negative/false beliefs and stop selfsabotaging behaviors that add to our low self-esteem and misery.

Writing your life story is an incredible tool to gain that self-awareness and will help you develop compassion and forgiveness for your negative emotions and behaviors. When you write your life story, you somehow quiet the chaos in your subconscious mind. Recording your painful memories makes it easier to let them take a back seat because the memories are now in your hands whenever you choose to pay attention to them and validate your painful experiences.

I’ve broken down the process into three steps:

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Start by writing your full name, date of birth, where you come in line in

your family and perhaps some family origin if you feel that contributed to the person you are today. For example, I’m the granddaughter of a (deceased) Holocaust survivor and I definitely feel like that added to my anxiety as a child.

Then you want to start with your earliest childhood memory and continue writing all significant memories, especially the painful ones.

If you don’t have much memory of your childhood, you can make up scenarios that might have happened based on your parents’ personalities and different things you’ve heard about how you were as a child. Continue writing up until your current life. How often and how much you write each time will determine how long it will take you to heal your life.

2

In additIon to gaining a deeper level of self-awareness, you will allow your repressed anger and hurt to rise to the surface in order to help you heal. So, when you write a painful memory, try to put your mind there and allow yourself to cry as long as needed to help release that trauma and pain. Crying is the body’s natural way of releasing negative toxins and healing. When you cry, your body releases endorphins and is extremely therapeutic to your mind, body and soul!

3

This step is the key to speeding up your recovery and witnessing

you more than you’ll ever know.

Elisheva Shields is a Jacksonville, FL, native who enjoys reading, learning, and listening to music. Currently, she is mostly homebound due to chronic illness and has learned to see the good in everything. Computer and volunteer work keep her busy. She is a convert to Judaism and passionate about her Yiddishkeit. Her favorite foods are cheesecake and chocolate.

She is a dog mom to Tyson, a 13-year-old bichon frise.

miracles in your life. That is, the power of turning your pain into prayer! When we take our pain and beg God to free us from our emotional trauma and resentment, He can’t hold back from saving us. Like it says in the Torah, “the gates of tears are never closed!” Tefillah is called “The work of the heart,” so by writing your life story and tapping into the hurt of your heart and then turning your pain into prayer, you fulfill the deepest level of “avodah shebalev”, the work of the heart! And,, use this opportunity to ask God whatever it is you wish for in life and pray for others in need too!

I know this process can seem like an overwhelming task and you may be thinking, “I’m not a writer,” but truthfully this is only for your eyes, to help you understand yourself better and heal.

The rewards of doing this work and especially turning your pain into prayer will highly outweigh the effort it takes to write your life story. I wouldn’t be able to recommend this to anyone if I haven’t seen miracles in my life from doing this work! I wish you much success in your healing journey!

Leah Field is originally from Lakewood, New Jersey, and lives in Boca Raton, Florida. She is a certified life coach for women who struggle with anxiety, low self-esteem and relationship issues. She’s also the author of “Rose, a Judge in Kindsville,” an adorable picture book for ages 6+ that teaches the importance of judging others kindly. To find out more about Leah’s work or to buy her book, visit Leahfield.com.

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Home and Garden

Organizing the Kitchen

By Esther Simon

Being organized in the kitchen can help you save time and energy, increase productivity, and create a healthy lifestyle. Since the kitchen is typically the center of any home, it probably is the most important area to organize first.

The best way to begin organizing your kitchen cabinets, refrigerator/ freezer, and drawers is to empty out the space. Start with any food you have stored in your kitchen. Clean out your refrigerator and freezer, throw out food that is bad or stale, and put remaining food back by grouping similar things together wherever possible. I like to store vegetables in clear, plastic storage bins so you can see what you have.

For example, I create a clear bin with tomatoes, red peppers, cucumbers and other green vegetables so I can make a quick salad. Next to that I set up a clear bin for fruit that I can grab for a quick snack, like apples and oranges. I don’t have to search through the bin in the bottom of the refrigerator to find a healthy lunch or snack.

When you clean out your pantry, you will see snacks and cans that you just don’t use and have been holding onto for a rainy day—and you now realize you just never liked canned green beans! “Use it or lose it” is my motto.

The idea is to thin out your pantry and only keep what you use. Store like items together in the space that you reach for 20

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it most often. When you finish thinning out your pantry items, I highly suggest you invest in attractive baskets or bins for your snacks and dry goods. Create a clear bin or container for rice, legumes, pasta, chips, dried fruit and other snacks. Some bins are stackable and can be labeled for easy recognition.

Next, look at each kitchen item and determine if it is useful. Is the potato peeler adequate for peeling? Does the can opener really work well? Don’t keep items that just don’t work or clutter up your drawers. Replace utensils that are damaged and broken. I would rather have two good knives than four dull ones. This process works for all your drawers and cabinets. Only keep the amount of mugs in your cabinet that are used in one day. If there are four members in your family keep eight cups. This will force you to wash the dishes more regularly.

Evaluate what is in each of your drawers. My experience has been people use the drawers for things that can be stored elsewhere like towels, pens, and first aid. The more organized

Nishei | Jewish Women’s Magazine | Summer 2020 | 5780

your home is — beginning with the kitchen — the more productive and stress-free your life will be.

Esther Simon, MSW, lives in the Los Angeles area and has worked for more than two decades as a professional organizer. She also has experience in social work, crisis intervention and counseling. She continues to give lectures and workshops on all aspects of the home, including kitchens, housework, raising children and time management. Her expertise has been based largely on her personal experience raising seven children and helping with her many grandchildren. For more information, visit Esther at TheTraditionalHomeOrganizer.com.

Starting Your Own Food Garden

By Hadassah Ezoory The numerous physical and mental health benefits of gardening have encouraged many people to start their own gardens. Now, with food prices skyrocketing, availability sparse, and children being homeschooled, it has become more relevant than ever. If you are considering digging in, here are some tips to help you get started.

#1 Location Survey your property for your hopeful spot. It can be in a yard, on a deck, or on a patio. It must have the following; • 6+ hours of sunlight each day (get up early and check every hour) • Be somewhat level • Be 3 feet from any herbicide treated lawn or landscape • Be within 100 feet of a water source that you can attach a hose to

#2 Container You can use pots that are ceramic or terra cotta (there are many options online). If you are making a larger bed, use untreated cedar wood.

#3 The Soil • Do not use potting soil. Use inground garden soil. Next season and every season thereafter you will need to add ¾ pounds of fertilizer for every 10 cubic feet of soil.

• Buy earthworms and let them do their work of recycling nutrients.

• Plant garlic. It is an anti-viral anti-

fungal for your garden.

Soil is a living, breathing ecosystem full of bacteria, fungus, nematodes (parasitic worms) and more. You will need to keep it balanced over the years. If your plants are not healthy, then there is more than likely something you can add to your soil that will fix it.

#4 Seeds & Plants • Your seed doesn’t need to be organic for you to grow organic fruits and vegetables.

• Plants can be purchased from your local nursery.

Why choose seeds over plants or plants over seeds?

Time - Some plants take 73 days from seedling to fruit. If you want to or need to shorten the season, you can get a head start by buying plants.

Money - Seeds are significantly cheaper. No need to start them inside.

Just start outside in a container or bed.

Spacing- Ignore back of the seed packet for container gardening.

Imagine the plant fully grown and leave that much space for it.

• Do not grow plants of the same family together. Mix them up. In the following seasons, do not grow the same plant in the same spot. Grow foods you eat together next to each other. For example, tomato with basil, pepper with cilantro. There are pests that like one but detest the other. Don’t grow a bush variety of cucumber; rather use climbing variety cucumbers.

#5 Watering • Water every day in the morning. If you are not a morning person do it at night.

• Water for eight seconds in each spot. Use a sprinkler head hose attachment so as not to loosen seedlings. Always water the soil NOT the leaves. There are many diseases that thrive off of wet leaves in areas of humidity.

#6 Harvest Enjoy! Food grown in your garden and eaten right away has 17 times more nutrients than its grocery store counterparts.

Spring Season winners for Jacksonville for Summer Harvest in order of what grows well together: • Watermelon, Dill, Cilantro, LunchBox Peppers, Garlic, Basil, Early Girl Tomato, Flat leaf Parsley, Marigolds • Sunflower, Cucumber, Dill, Cherry Tomato, Purple Basil, Hot Peppers, Eggplant, Spinach, Baby Lettuce (lettuce harvested after 35 days) Master Horticulturist Hadassah Ezoory has been growing food for nearly 30 years. She installs and consults for home and school food gardens and has developed a custom K-5 science curriculum. She offers online gardening classes and helpful videos for novice and experienced backyard gardening warriors. Hadassah lives in the Toco Hills neighborhood of Atlanta with her husband and children. Contact her at owner@ easyfoodgardens.com with your food garden questions.

Nishei | Jewish Women’s Magazine | Summer 2020 | 5780

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Education

Homeschool Q&A Question:

With Chai Gross

for great field trips. We’ve gone to many plays and the ballet. We’ve attended science classes at the MOSH and participated in many of the library programs.

How long have you been homeschooling your children, Q. What are some tips for and why did getting children/students you choose this option? to want to learn and to Answer: I have been enjoy the process? homeschooling my kids for the past seven years. I began by homeschooling one child. School wasn’t working out for him. But then when I saw how well it was going, I decided to homeschool them all.

Q. What are some of the challenges you had to overcome early on, and what have you learned during the process?

A. I try to mix it up so that their day has variety. Part of the day will be independent work in workbooks.

But, I try to spend time reading to them on the couch (Jewish history, chumash, and Navi), or doing science experiments in the kitchen.

We spend a lot of time outside in the vegetable garden and with our pet ducks and chickens. We also do hands-on projects for world history to bring it to life.

A. Homeschooling is a way of life.

Q. In teaching each child

I needed to create a whole new schedule and learn to balance home life and school life. I spent a lot of time researching different styles of homeschooling. It took me a while to figure out what worked for us.

And often what works one year can change and not work the next. I’m constantly re-evaluating and adjusting our homeschool.

I am always looking for ways to improve our homeschool. I have attended homeschool conventions and have joined a very active homeschool group. I tap into local homeschool classes or hire a tutor when needed. I’m also always looking

I try to buy a curriculum that suits each child. What works for one does not necessarily work for the other. I also give them plenty of free time. Free time is where they can discover what it is they like and what they are good at.

For example, some of my children are really into art. They love making figurines out of baking clay. My house is full of them. One summer my son

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according to her way, how do you learn to recognize her unique strengths and then foster development in those areas?

Nishei | Jewish Women’s Magazine | Summer 2020 | 5780

made a clay camp and had kids from the community sign up.

Q. What continues to be your biggest ongoing challenge in educating your children, and what solutions have you come up with?

A. My biggest challenge is balancing housework and other responsibilities I have with homeschooling my children. I always plan a full day of homeschool, but life gets in the way sometimes. I have not come up with a solution other than to learn not to be too hard on myself. I have seen now (after seven years of homeschooling), that it is ok not to have those “perfect days.”

Chai Gross was born in New York, raised in Israel, and lives with her husband and four children in Jacksonville, Florida. She is a homeschool mom and teaches Jewish History at Jacksonville Torah High School. Chai holds dual degrees in Fine Arts and Judaic Studies. She loves spending her days with her children and taking care of their small homestead which has 10 chickens, 2 ducks, and a vegetable garden. She is passionate about Jewish education and loves teaching it to the next generation.

Jewish Book Club

By Emily Rosenbaum My book club journey began seven years ago when I went with Rebbetzin Henny Fisch of Etz Chaim Synagogue on the JWRP (Jewish Women’s Renaissance Project) trip to Israel as a madricha (youth counselor). A few years later, a non-observant woman who went as a participant wanted to go back as a madricha.

At that point, the JWRP had a rule that any participant could return as a madricha only if they did a year of Torah study. This woman was not interested in remote learning, like Partners in Torah or TorahMates, but rather wanted to learn face-to-face with a teacher. Henny asked me if I would learn with her.

My initial reaction was “No way! How could I teach Torah with a background of only a year of seminary and Hebrew school as a kid? I didn’t grow up religious and don’t have a day school background. I can’t open a sefer and translate the Hebrew. Why would I be a good candidate?”

Then Henny suggested that the woman and I simply read a Jewish book together. “Well,” I thought, “I can handle that,” and so we did. I brought in two other non-observant women and we made it a book club.

A few years after that, I created a second book club with a separate group of women. Both groups are still meeting until this day (there has been some turnover but mostly it’s the same core group, including the original woman, who still is learning with us many years after being madricha).

What started out as a favor has become a consistent highlight of my week and is a huge source of my inspiration. We almost never miss a week and even now (during the lockdown), we are meeting on Zoom to keep the learning going. I am truly grateful to have these book clubs in my life.

Over the years, we have read many books. Here are my top five picks.

All women will benefit from reading them no matter where they are on the religious spectrum.

Angels at the Table by Yvette Alt Miller. A practical and uplifting guide to celebration of Shabbos (not just for beginners!).

Letters to Talia by Dov Indig. Incredible letters back and forth about Judaism between a frum Israeli soldier and a secular female teenage kibbutznik in the 1970s.

On Judaism by Emanuel Feldman.

Back and forth conversation between R. Feldman and a secular acquaintance (playing devil’s advocate) about the fundamentals of all the major categories of Jewish life.

The Beast that Crouches at the Door by R. David Fohrman. An incredibly thoughtprovoking analysis of the story of Adam and Eve and of Cain and Abel.

Let’s Face It! The 8 Essential Challenges of Living by Tzipporah Heller. She guides readers in how to deal with suffering, happiness, anger, self-change, relationships, death, prayer and parenting.

Emily Rosenbaum was raised in Silver Spring, MD, and lives in Jacksonville, FL. She graduated with a degree in education and religion from Barnard College. Emily has been teaching high school math in Jewish girls’ schools for nine years and running her book clubs for five. She teaches math at Jacksonville Torah High School (now part of Torah Academy), where she loves every minute of it! She is married to Elliott and they have four children.

Make your Torah study a fixed practice; say little and do much; and receive everyone with a cheerful face.”

- Shammai, Pirkei Avot 1:15

Nishei | Jewish Women’s Magazine | Summer 2020 | 5780

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Education

Learning Hebrew with Love

By G.R. Sinclair As a homeschool mom of three, I am constantly creating educational material (such as flashcards cards and worksheets) for my children, and have independently published a few educational books. I believe HaShem has graciously given me the talent and passion to create resources for women and children and that the knowledge of the holy language can in itself be a source of spiritual inspiration. It provides a fertile environment for Torah thoughts and can even be a key to connecting with HaShem on a deeper, more personal level.

I’ve been a member of a wonderful ladies group who study Torah together.

Only recently I noticed that many of the ladies in the group are not proficient in the Hebrew language and I felt HaShem placed the desire on my heart to facilitate and encourage others to learn Hebrew. Since I am currently enrolled at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem to expand my own knowledge and understanding of Hebrew, I have a strong desire to share the wonder, beauty and depth of this special language with others.

When asked whether any of the ladies in our Torah Study Group were interested in learning or improving their Hebrew, over 80 responded within 48 hours! Imagine where we would be if we just take a few minutes a day to practice a word or two!

I started by posting a basic Hebrew Alef-Bet chart for those who needed to learn to read and write the AlefBet Then I proceeded to create daily 24

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“word cards” for reading practice and vocabulary. The words chosen are based on 1 verse in Tehillim 27. (The sample shown here.) The exciting part is that we are not just memorizing random words, but learning actual passages in the Tanach! After each series of word cards, the ladies are able to read an entire verse! I also plan on incorporating many of our beautiful Hebrew prayers.

Many ladies have responded positively to this endeavor. Some are starting from the beginning and others who have become rusty in their usage of the language have been reinvigorated! It is as if a spark has ignited! I praise HaShem for using me as a humble tool in this exciting process of bringing the beautiful light of the Hebrew language into other women’s homes and hearts.

Also, I’m not partial to the pronunciation, e.g., Ashkenazi versus

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Sephardi, because I believe that the various dialects create a beautiful, rich environment to express and grow our emunah within our cultural heritage.

The word cards I create are based on standard Israeli Hebrew, which is a combination of the many dialects.

However, each woman is encouraged to pronounce the words based on her own cultural heritage and preference.

I am passionate about the wonder of Torah, the Hebrew language, and connecting with other women to ignite sparks that will develop into a bright flame that will illuminate our homes, our communities, and affect the entire world.

G.R. Sinclair was born in Ekurhuleni, Africa, and immigrated to the United States in 1993. She is a licensed Occupational Therapist, and currently a full-time homeschool mom in Middlesex County, New Jersey. For more information on her free Hebrew educational tools, email Ps90v12@yahoo. com.

~yiLih.T

Tehillim 27:4

yh

27:4

Tehillim 27:4

Tehillim 27:4

Tehillim 27:4

teaem

yiT.l;a'v

t;x;a

mei’et

sha’alti

achat

of, from

I asked

one thing

HaShem

(before a definite object)

prefix

past tense, 1st person, singular

feminine construct

ROOT (Pa’al verb)

ROOT (Cardinal Number)

tea

im

lav

dxa

No translation

of, from

to ask; to borrow

one

Tehillim 27:4

Tehillim 27:4

Tehillim 27:4

yiT.biv

veQ;b]a

H'tAa

shivti

avaqesh

otah

that I may dwell

Tehillim 27:4 One thing I asked of Hashem

I will seek

that I will seek

future tense, 1st person, singular ROOT (verb)

ROOT (Pi’el verb)

bvy

vqb

to dwell, to inhabit, to settle

to ask, to request, to seek

feminine inflection added

tea

~yiLih.T

Tehillim 27:4

yh

HaShem

Tehillim 27:4

Tehillim 27:4

yh

Tehillim 27:4

yem.y

l'K

ye’mei

kol

beveit

the days of

all

in the house

plural construct

singular construct

singular construct

ROOT (noun, m)

ROOT (noun, m)

ROOT (noun, m,s)

~Ay

llk

tyb

.B

day

all of, all, every

home, house

in

Tehillim 27:4

Tehillim 27:4

Tehillim 27:4

~;[on.B

tAz]x;l

y;Y;x

tyeb.B

chayay

HaShem

be’noam

lachazot to behold

my life

adjective

infinitive

1st person, singular

ROOT (Pa’al verb)

ROOT (Pa’al verb)

ROOT (noun, m)

~[n

hzx

hyx

to please, delight

to see, to visualize, to predict

life

~yiLih.T

27:4

Tehillim 27:4

reQ;b.lW

reQ;b.lW

ul’vaqeir

ul’vaqeir

and to visit prefix

and to visit prefix

ROOT (Pi’el verb)

infinitive ROOT (Pi’el verb)

rqb

.l

.w

to visit, to inquire

to

and

prefix

yh to

Tehillim 27:4

Al'kyeh.B

Al'kyeh.B

be’heykhalo

be’heykhalo

in His temple

in His temple prefix

ROOT (noun, m,s)

and to visit in His Sanctuary.

m, s, 3rd person

~yiLih.T

yh

teaem

yiT.l;a'v

HaShem

of

I asked

prefix

r q b of HaShem .l .w to visit, to inquire

Tehillim 27:4

m, s, 3rd person

to behold the delight of Hashem

~yiLih.T 27:4 Tehillim 27:4

Tehillim 27:4

infinitive

all the days of my life,

prefix

the delight

Tehillim 27:4

that I would dwell in the House of Hashem

27:4

tyeb.B in the House

ROOT (noun, m,s)

l'kyeh

.B

l'kyeh

.B

temple, palace, hall

in

temple, palace, hall

in

t;x;a One thing

yiT.biv veQ;b]a H'tAa that I may dwell

and

prefix

27:4

that I will seek

y;Y;x

yem.y

of my life

the days

l'K all

yh

~;[{n.B

tAz]x;l

of HaShem

the delight

to behold

Al'kyeh.B

reQ;b.lW

in His sanctuary

and to visit

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Recipes

Healthy and Kosher

By Nancy Cohen, RDN, LDN Nancy Cohen was born in Teaneck, NJ, and lives in St Augustine, FL. She has fond memories of baking with her Grandma Jennie from the Flatbush section of Brooklyn.

Nancy is a licensed dietician, nutritionist, wellness coach and healer. Learn more at FeedingTheBodyFeedingTheSoul.com.

Nancy’s Baked Salmon with Pineapple-Mango Salsa • 4 fillets of salmon (fresh or frozen) • 1-2 cups pineapple mango salsa (see recipe below) • Baking dish (glass or ceramic) • Non-stick spray to coat dish

Place salmon filets in a baking dish and coat with non-stick cooking spray. Cover each fish filet with ¼ cup pineapple-mango salsa. Bake for 50 minutes at 350 degrees or until tender and moist. Serve with side grain and vegetable of your choice.

Pineapple Mango Salsa • 1 cup diced canned pineapple pieces in juice (use fresh if available)

• ¼ teaspoon salt, optional

• 1 cup diced mango, fresh or canned (no syrup)

• 1 Tablespoon olive oil or oil of your choice

• 1 whole red or yellow pepper cut and chopped into small pieces • 1 shallot diced or chopped, ¼ cup or 4 Tablespoons • ¼ teaspoon red chili flakes or to taste

• 4 Tablespoons reserved pineapple juice

In a mixing bowl, combine pineapple pieces, mango, red pepper, diced shallots (raw) and mix well.

Add chili flakes, salt and pineapple juice. Stir and refrigerate for an hour to set.

Gluten-Free Peach Cobbler Cake • 1 cup gluten-free flour (King Arthur or your favorite brand)

• ½ teaspoon ginger

• 1 cup gluten-free rolled oats

• 3 cups frozen (or canned) peaches. Drain and cut into ¼ inch pieces. (I used two small cans of drained peaches.)

• ¼ cup sugar in the raw or sugar of your choice • ¼ cup unsaturated margarine or butter • 1 teaspoon baking powder • 1 egg • ½ cup unsweetened almond milk or other milk substitute • Salt to taste 26

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• ½ teaspoon cinnamon

In a mixing bowl, combine flour, oats, margarine, sugar, egg and almond milk until a batter is formed.

Add baking powder, salt, and nutmeg to batter and combine. Coat a 12-inch round pan with non-stick spray and add batter and peaches.

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Bake at 350 degrees for 55 to 60 minutes, until firm to the touch or light golden-brown. Let cool for 10 minutes.

Recipes From My Kitchen

By Elisheva Shields

Butter Nut Shortbread Balls • 1 cup butter • 1/2 cup powdered sugar • 1 cup all-purpose flour

Baked Oatmeal

• 1/8 tsp salt • 2 cups finely chopped pecans

• 5 cups oats • 2 1/2 cups milk (dairy or pareve)

Preheat oven to 350° Cream the butter and sugar, add flour, salt, and pecans. Roll into 1-inch balls and place on ungreased baking sheets. Bake 10-12 minutes or until very lightly browned. Roll warm cookies in powdered sugar, cool, and roll again in powdered sugar.

• 4 eggs • 1/2 cup honey • 1/2 cup raisins • 1 tsp vanilla extract • 1 tsp baking powder • 1 tsp cinnamon

(Optional add-ins: nuts, apples, chocolate chips, flax or chia seeds)

Preheat oven to 350° Mix all ingredients and pour into 9x13 pan, or into muffin tins. Bake 30 minutes or until firm.

Almond Joy Energy Balls • ! 1/2 cups toasted almonds • 4 tbsp cocoa powder • 4 tbsp honey • 2 tbsp coconut oil

Black Bean Soup • 1 tbsp oil • 1 large chopped onion • 4 cloves crushed garlic

• shredded coconut • splash of water (if needed) Place toasted almonds into food processor and pulse until ground. Add cocoa powder, honey, and coconut oil. Continue to pulse until a thick mixture forms. Roll into balls and then into the shredded coconut. Store in refrigerator.

• 2 carrots, sliced into thin rounds • 2 tsp chili powder • 1 tsp cumin • 4 cups veggie stock • 2 cans (15 oz) black beans • 1 can (15 oz) corn • 1 can (15 oz) chopped tomatoes Saute onions, garlic, and carrots in oil. Add remaining ingredients, cook 30 minutes on medium heat.

Nishei | Jewish Women’s Magazine | Summer 2020 | 5780

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Turning Fear into Faith

By Devorah Milner

In these uncertain times, trusting Hashem is more important than ever.

We are afraid of getting sick, or losing our job, or simply having a hard time dealing with being locked up inside the house for so long. But we have to remember we are in Hashem’s hand. While we can’t really control what is happening to us, we can control how everything is affecting us, realizing that it’s all for the best and that thanking Hashem, even for our difficulties, will lead to salvation sooner than we expect.

In my art, on the back cover, the Hebrew letters Hey and Yud stand for Hashem’s name (in the Siddur, it is two Yuds) and, together with the Tehillim quotes, they remind us how important it is to turn to Hashem with prayer, songs, and blessings, especially when we are afraid.

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Nishei | Jewish Women’s Magazine | Summer 2020 | 5780

Devorah Milner is originally from Hungary, then lived in Israel, and now Jacksonville, Florida. She is a wife, mother and professional dog trainer. Her art, including wedding calligraphy and siddur (prayer book) covers, is available on Etsy under the name OliveDreamsDesigns, or email her at borimudi@gmail.com.

Nishei | Jewish Women’s Magazine | Summer 2020 | 5780

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