MAR. 20 , 2018 NINERTIMES.COM
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Humans of UNC Charlotte: Hannah Luke
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Light Rail Grand Opening
MOVIE REVIEW: ʻUnsaneʼ is schlocky, bonkers, uneasy handheld fun
SPORTS
LIFESTYLE •
TV REVIEW: ʻAltered Carbonʼ is glorified and pulpy sci-fi fodder with little lasting substance
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POLICE BLOTTER MARCH 20 - 23 ALCOHOL MARCH 23 •
Sanford Hall, officers responded to a report of an intoxicated person in Sanford Hall.
An LGBTQ+ Center could be in the works
Students have made it known an LGBTQ+ center is wanted on campus. Now, it’s up to administration to make it happen. By Alexandria Sands
NEWS
DRUGS
MARCH 20 •
Moore Hall, officer issued two state citations and one campus appearance tickets in reference to possession of marijuana and marijuana paraphernalia.
MARCH 22 •
Miltimore Hall, officer responded to a report of marijuana odor emitting from a room in Miltimore Hall.
MARCH 23 •
Wallis Hall, officers responded in reference to an odor of marijuana emanating from a room.
LARCENY MARCH 20 •
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Student Union, subject stated that her UNC Charlotte ID was used without permission. She believes that she lost it in the Student Union. No charges were incurred on the card. Student Union, unknown person(s) removed victim’s bicycle that was left unsecured in a public area.
MARCH 21 •
Stoors Building, unknown person(s) removed victim’s laptop that was left unsecured in a public area.
For more information on Mecklenburg County arrests, visit arrestinquiryweb.co.mecklenburg.nc.us
A vigil for Blake Brockington, a transgender student who committed suicide, was held Friday night at the star quad. Photo by Alexandria Sands
Blake Brockington walked the UNC Charlotte campus open and proud of who he was. He was a role model for the transgender community, regularly participating and speaking at rallies, and was crowned North Carolina’s first transgender homecoming king at East Mecklenburg High School. Yet, his friends still laid flowers down in front of his picture Friday night at the star quad. They still lit candles and spoke kind words of him. They still cried and comforted each other and stood silently, mourning his death. Brockington chose to end his life three years ago. His death serves as a reminder of the struggles people in the LGBTQ+ community face, often discriminated against and ostracized. Three years after his death, a group of students are requesting a space on campus that can provide resources and support to the university’s LGBTQ+ community. The UNC Charlotte LGBTQ+ Coalition was formed to campaign for the LGBTQ+ Center. They
got the Student Government Association (SGA) on board. SGA passed legislation March 1 that approved the center, which doesn’t ensure the center will be created but communicates to university administration the center is wanted by students. “We hope to have space secured for the LGBTQIA Resource Center by the end of our term,” said Bryan McCollom, student body vice president. The coalition is hoping the space will be put in Cone, preferably, and envisions it will have resources for students. They specifically want to partner with Center for Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS). “I feel and I want it to be a space where anybody who is struggling, like Blake, is able to come in and see that they are welcome and that they’re in community,” said Clover Barin, a member of the coalition. Other schools have spaces like this, including Appalachian State, East Carolina University, North Carolina Central and NC State. An online petition titled “UNCC
Needs an LGBTQ Center” has over 1,000 signatures. Many students and faculty have voiced their support in the comments. “I believe LGBTQIA+ students (including ally’s) on campus should have a place to be themselves with students on the spectrum and promote inclusion and diversity,” wrote Junior Estevan Torres. “This is the step in the right direction to promote community.” Michael Denton, who was UNC Charlotte’s assistant director of new students and academic programs from 2003 to 2010, wrote: “Students deserve a space where they can be themselves freely and in safety. North Carolina, Charlotte and our country is still very hostile to queer people despite limited gains. I implore you to be an institution even more welcoming, affirming and contributing to LGBTQ+ students lives and academics.” “This is important,” wrote Kara Stephens. “Everyone deserves to feel safe.”
NINERTIMES.COM
MAR. 27, 2018
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MEET THE CANDIDATES Voting starts Tuesday for student body president and vice president
niayai lavien and chandler crean
By Alexandria Sands
Niayai Lavien, a junior political science and philosophy major, is running for student body president. “I’m qualified for the position and I know that I have the passion and the drive to do it,” she said. Lavien serves as speaker of the
Senate, a SAFE counselor, College Democrats member and runs a beauty YouTube channel. Her running mate is Chandler Crean, a pre-business major and political science minor. He currently serves as SGA chief of staff, president of Pi Kappa Phi and has been a Niner Guide for two years. The two met at a leadership retreat in high school. “When he decided to go to UNC Charlotte, I encouraged him to join SGA,” Lavien said. “Ever since then I think we’ve both grown through the organization and we’ve seen the real change and progress that SGA can have on the student body.” The two are running on the platform “Strike Gold,” which consists of three tenets: student voice, transparency and legacy. “Our platform is dedicated to making [student’s] voices front and
Mildred Martinez, a junior biology major and economics minor, is running for student body president. “That’s when I learned about all the changes being made on campus,” she said. “There are a lot of things that administration does and we just get a heads up. I want to keep up that relationship where they communicate what they’re doing with us.” Martinez is currently the secretary for academic affairs. She says SGA has helped her to gain an appreciation for campus-wide affairs. “I want to demonstrate to other students this is what we’re doing and why. Students need to know where their money is going.” She is also the secretary of Allied Health, a member of the National Society for Leadership and Success, and a former orientation counselor, where she got to know RJ Chisolm. Chisolm, an exercise science major, MAR. 2 7, 2018
staff and faculty knows something is happening but students aren’t completely aware of that,” Lavien said. They also want to utilize more social media to communicate and make sure students don’t “feel left in the dark” when it comes to topics such as construction, new initiatives and programs. Another issue they want to face is the university’s “identity crisis” and lack of tradition. They want to encourage more participation at events such as Homecoming and Week of Welcome as well as create new events. The team is running against Mildred Martinez and RJ Chisolm. “Mildred and RJ are both experienced SGA members and I admire them very much ... but I think our platform is more centered on the students,” Lavien said.
Mildred Martinez and RJ Chisolm
By Megan Bird
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center,” Lavien said. Lavien and Crean think students feel like they can’t actively contribute to campus decisions. “A lot of decisions that are being made are being made without students actually understanding why they’re being made and they don’t feel included in the process,” Lavien said. To fix this, they want to strengthen the connection between students and SGA. One way is to create a website where students can voice their concerns as opposed to voicing them solely on social media and holding more town halls students can speak at. The second part of their platform, increasing transparency, was created to “bridge the gap” between administration and students with more events where they interact. “There seems to be a gap where
is running alongside Martinez as student body vice president. He currently serves as the IT secretary for the executive cabinet, the program coordinator of the Campus Activities Board and a SAFE Counselor. “I firmly believe that if you want to make a change to your environment you have to take that step instead of waiting on someone to take action for you,” he said. “I have a lot of connections to utilize and make a change to the campus and make it better for those who come after me.” The two are running on the platform “Comfort, Commitment and Comfortability.” They stress the importance of students feeling comfortable and able to express who they are during their time at UNC Charlotte. They also want to be accessible and serve as a liaison between students and administration. They agree that the university’s
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rapidly growing population presents a large organizational problem. However, as they see it, there could be a bright side. Chisolm thinks this could be a chance for students to get more involved in student government while Martinez pointed out her academic experience is far more diverse than of her friends who attend smaller universities. “It’s something I will always be happy about because other friends of mine can’t see students from as many different backgrounds like I can,” she said.” However, the team agrees it’s not enough to be diverse. “A lot of the organizations are afraid to mix with different organizations,” Chisolm said. “Latino organizations cosponsor events with other Latinos and Blacks with Blacks. There can be a bigger way for students to be heard if they
collaborate.” They are running against Niayai Lavien and Chandler Crean. “It’s going to be a tough challenge,” Martinez said. “They’re strong people; they know what they want and their platform is well thought out.”
JUST FRIENDS FOREVER
A&E
by Jeffrey Kopp Photo courtesy of Freeform
When one thinks about millennial culture, humor is one of the first things that comes to mind. Whether it be self-depreciating or absurdist, millennials love to make light of the darkness that seems to overtake the world. Freeform’s newest comedy is the perfect example of this, taking two twenty-somethings and telling a coming-of-age story for the modern era. While it may not take itself too seriously, “Alone Together” is a genuine treat when it comes to delivering laughs and connecting with its audience. Starting with the title, “Alone Together” symbolizes what many members of the younger generations feel; we are more connected than ever as a society through social media, yet people still feel alone in the world. The characters of Esther (Esther Povitsky) and Benji (Benji Afalo) are representations of this concept, but they are also meant to showcase the uncertainty and worry many feel toward the future. Benji belongs to a wealthy family and doesn’t have to worry about money, but he is still figuring out exactly what he wants from life. He doesn’t try too hard at anything and takes a more nonchalant approach to the struggles and peaks of his life. Esther on the other hand is less-well off and tries too hard to accomplish the goals she sets; she has a lot that she wants to do, but most of the time she ruins things for herself by being overly eager. In many senses, both Benji and Esther act like children who are hesitant to grow up and face adult life; this is a fear that most young people have, especially in regards to giving up the perks of being a child.
Many comedies (and dramas) such as this force the two protagonists together into a romantic relationship whether they fit together or not. Benji and Esther do not fit together at all and they know it; they aren’t soulmates and even their pairing as friends makes you scratch your head a bit, but they do ultimately work well together. They are totally platonic and the series does an excellent job at making this clear while highlighting their differences and similarities. When they aren’t making jokes about their own physical and intellectual shortfalls, they are poking fun at each other. Whether it’s Benji pointing out Esther’s bizarre obsession with teen culture or Esther laughing at Benji’s lackluster love life, the two are shown to be the most unexpected match as friends. Both characters are quite awkward and the writing plays this up and makes both Esther and Benji incredible relatable and endearing. It’s easy to see oneself in them as they use humor to cope with their struggles; going back to millennial culture, many recognize that humor is one of the
most common ways the younger generations cope with their own imperfections, as well as the difficulties of the world. “Alone Together” works so well because of its two leads in Esther and Benji. Both Povitsky and Afalo (who also serve as co-creators, writers and executive producers) bring their characters to life and encapsulate exactly what it means to be a millennial in today’s society. Esther’s over-the-top personality is the perfect foil to Benji’s calm and cool demeanor; they contrast each other, but they are also so similar that it makes perfect sense they are best friends. Both actors hit the comedic beats and allow the writing to really shine; this is a series with genuine laugh-out-loud dialogue that still feels grounded in reality. The style and tone of comedy can definitely be traced back to the show’s producers, The Lonely Island (Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone and Akiva Schaffer). Tackling issues of vanity, growing up, uncertainty and even death, “Alone Together” goes above and beyond the expectations one might have from the initial synopsis. It’s a show that doesn’t take itself too seriously and doesn’t follow a serialized format, making it a perfect choice for a show to watch casually or to binge through in one sitting... because that’s the millennial thing to do.
NINERTIMES.COM
MAR. 27, 2018
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OPINION
THE FIGHT FO
Students advocate for LGBTQ+ resource space on ca
By Nikolai Mather Photos by Nikolai Mathers and Chimena Ihebuzor
I was sixteen years old when Blake Brockington died. I remember the feeling in my chest when I heard the news; I remember writing a few lyrics about it immediately after seeing the articles; I remember seeing the photos of him in that green “Legalize Trans*” t-shirt. I remember feeling this kinship to him; though I had never known of him up until that day, much of the weight he had to carry was similar to mine. Two trans men growing up in the Carolinas, struggling to make a life out of so much strife. Brockington became this concept in my head. He was someone-or something--for me to fight for. He was woven into the story of my activism: Blake Brockington: homecoming king, organizer, figure in the movement for LGBTQ+ rights. Since I’ve moved to Charlotte, I learned that no matter how strong this kinship feels, I will never know Blake the person. My friends have tried to fill in the gaps. He was a music major. He had two cats. His foster mom was named Rachel. He could argue with someone about Frank Ocean day and night. No matter how hard they try, their stories and memories and love cannot replace the person. Now that I know this, I can’t help but look around and I see my friends through the lens I once had for him. Aimee, the figure. Folks would frame her as this sweet person who just wanted to live her life in peace. I’d remember her as the girl who took me sledding on a folding table by Craver Road; who took up space and demanded all that life could give. Asha, the figure. Folks would frame her as this kind person who fought for queer people of color. I’d remember her as this loud, rude Aries who liked Odd Future and
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Cookout; who always had just the right reaction gif to whatever dumb comment someone made in the group chat. Sometimes I think about me, the figure. How would the living frame me if I had taken his path? Would I be a fierce advocate with a heart of gold? Or would I be the guy who liked The Room way too much, who never shut up about his mom and played the banjo? Then I stopped to consider, why I’m thinking about my memorial in the first place? Death is ever-present for queer and
transgender people. Forty-one percent of transgender folks attempt suicide. Queer youth are almost five times as likely to have attempted suicide as straight youth. You’d be hard-pressed to find a community that hasn’t lost a queer and/ or transgender individual due to homicide. Death is present here in Charlotte, where two Black trans women were murdered in 2017, where two trans men committed suicide in 2015. It’s present
in the way that Nada carries their keys between their fingers the night after a sexual assault. It’s present in the way that Joe hides pepper spray in his pockets after a man followed him home one night. It’s present in the way we travel in packs, that we check in with each other every single day, that when one of us is looking down with fists clenched, we ask, “you okay?” even if we barely know them. Death is here, and it’s queer. It shouldn’t be that way. It is 2018, yet there are still hundreds of folks in Charlotte who show up at school board meetings spewing vitriol about “the homosexuals.” It is 2018, yet folks still find it appropriate to refer to me as “it.” It is 2018, yet my high school pals are still dealing with the administration canceling LGBTQ+ Pride Day because it’s “too political.” Homophobia was supposed to end with gay marriage being legalized. Transphobia was supposed to end with the repeal of HB2. But it’s still here. So people continue to die and dear friends with hobbies and interests and quirks and flaws are made into these impossibly perfect martyrs. I try to be strong when it happens, but I hate it. I hate wandering through a graveyard full of dead people with dead names. Making these people into figures makes me want to pull my hair out. They were so much more than that. They are so much more than that. I think that’s what guided me in starting the UNC Charlotte LGBTQ+ Coalition. Blake Brockington was a student here. He could have been anyone: Aimee, Asha, Nada, Joe, me—it can be anyone, and it can happen again. So what can we do to prevent it? What will we do to prevent
OR INCLUSIVITY
ampus through events, petitioning and social media.
it? I asked these questions at the inaugural meeting of the Coalition. Here’s what we came up with: Shelby Williams thinks a home would help. “I wandered this campus for two semesters with no space to exist without judgement or explanation. It’s been so lonely.” Isolation, even on busy college campuses, is incredibly common for queer and transgender people. We fear that those we meet won’t understand us, or that they might object to our identities. Having a space where we can sit and talk without that constant fear would work wonders for those cut off from the community. Not only that, but having a space where LGBTQ+ people can actually meet one another can help build this community. “I had no friends who were like me until last week,” says Williams. A center would ensure that no one feels alone. Gabriel Cartagena agrees. “To combat that isolation, and to allow our queer community to thrive, I think the least the school could do is provide us with our own space.” To some folks, an LGBTQ+ center may be nothing but a room, but to the queer clubs and groups on campus, it’s so much more than that. “There are so many queer organizations on campus that don’t have a regular meeting place.” And for those dozens of groups—whose aim can be anything from giving out scholarships to LGBTQ+ students to hosting weekly game nights—that lack of space leaves them in a very precarious situation. Growth and development almost always hinges on having a good home base, and if your “home base” is a study room you can only reserve for an hour each week, it’s incredibly difficult to take your group to the next level. So many clubs and groups have
died out because there isn’t a space for them. A center would ensure these groups would not only survive, but thrive and improve the campus climate for LGBTQ+ people. Aria Jadzia Rose thinks that having cohesive access to resources would help fight
homophobia and transphobia. “[With a center], students can recognize themselves and start new projects.” Aria and I helped found a campaign for gender-inclusive restroom signs back in January and it was incredibly difficult getting things off the ground without funding or support from a university office. An LGBTQ+ center would link the community with resources from all over campus and ensure that scholarships, grants and job openings do not go unused or unfilled. It can also provide aid—monetary, strategic, or otherwise—to community members seeking to start new projects and meet community needs. “Just having this center would mean that more opportunities are waiting for our community.” But the one thing that united our coalition top to bottom was simple: to keep this community alive. We do this work for many people. Some of us knew Blake. Some of us knew Ash. Some of us knew Sherrell, or Derricka, or Leelah, or Matthew. But most of all, we know each other. We do this work because we don’t want to watch our friends get turned into political figures. We do this work because we don’t want to watch our friends die. Homophobia and transphobia are big problems with deadly consequences. We believe that UNC Charlotte has the power to challenge them. We believe that LGBTQ+ students, faculty and staff deserve safety and respect. And we believe that an LGBTQ+ center is a great start to meeting those needs. I will never get the chance to meet Brockington and tell him how much he means to me. Now is the time to meet the queer and transgender individuals of this university and show them how much they mean to us.
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MAR. 27, 2018
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SPORTS
By Kathleen Cook Photo by Chris Crews Spring has sprung, which means spring practices for 49er football have started to crank up. After a dismal 1-11 season, all eyes are on Charlotte to see what will become of the program. Head Coach Brad Lambert brought in new members to the coaching staff, new recruits and a new routine. The 49ers started what Lambert described as ‘phase one’ of their off-season routine, back in January. This included early morning weights and conditioning for the team. “We changed it a little bit in the off season, when you look at everything you did. You’re always evaluating things you did as a coach and our staff and our players. We did a little bit more morning stuff in what I call phase one in our off-season program, we wanted to get up and get our day started early,” Lambert said. The team is using one-win season as a sort of motivation towards their early morning workouts. “We want to prove a lot of people wrong so we can actually be top contenders in this league,” Benny LeMay said. Though the early mornings continue on some days, LeMay describes the addition of spring practices as “definitely the fun part.” “Running, that’s’ the grind-time, that’s the time you dig In and show you really want to play this sport. Now’s the time you can kick back, relax and do what you’ve been doing your whole life,” LeMay said.
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Throughout the off-season, a 1-11 season can loom over head for a program. Lambert says that it’s not adding any extra stress to the team. “I think we always put pressure on ourselves to perform well and to play well. That’s what we do, that’s the business we’re in. We have high expectations for our team and for our program, our university. We apply a lot of pressure to ourselves every time we come out here,” Lambert said. Over the past few months Lambert has filled the various open coaching positions on the team. Sean Montgomery came in as the new OC, Glenn Spencer and Chip West will serve as the defensive coordinators. There are also new coaches with the offensive line, James Adams and Brad Queen. With a program that’s hit such a low last season, there was still excitement generated by the new coaches. “That was the fun thing for me is there were a lot of guys interested in coming to Charlotte, that was exciting for me. We have a lot of positives here so everybody’s excited about coming here and helping us build this program,” Lambert said. With the new coaches comes new concepts for the team. “A little of everything, new voice in the building on both sides of the ball, new schemes and different ways of doing things. Everybody does it a little bit different. I’m excited about them as people and what they bring to the table,” Lambert said. The one thing that makes Lambert excited
about spring practice is the “energy” seen by his team. After having low numbers of active players last spring, the high volume of players that are participating in practices this spring puts a smile on his face. “That’s the number one thing, is the guys are really excited about being out here and playing and lets go establish something,” Lambert said. The team has 18 starters returning, eight offensively and 10 defensively, including last years QB Hasaan Klugh, leading rusher Benny LeMay, leading receiver Mark Quattlebaum and leading tacklers Jeff Gemmell. “The number one thing is we’ll see who our quarterback is. It may be different at that position, we have to find who our quarterback is going to be, we have to find some new wide receivers,” Lambert said. The Charlotte football program is still young, but for Lambert knows it’s time to take the next steps and not settle for just regular season wins. “As I told this team we were in the foundation phase of building out program when we came here and we’ve turned the corner on that. Now we’ve got to build, we’ve got to build this house, put the walls up. That’s the phase I told our team in 2018 we’re entering and to do that we need to go to a bowl game and win the bowl game,” Lambert said. You can see the team in action April 21 in the annual Spring Game at 6 p.m. Jerry Richardson Stadium.
SANCHEZ HIRED AS BASKETBALL COACH After being on the sideline of UVA, Sanchez finds home in Charlotte By Sam Palian Photo provided by Charlotte Athletics Chancellor Phillip DuBois and Athletic Director Mike Hill have made a big move in hiring Charlotte’s new men’s basketball coach, Ron Sanchez. “I would like to thank Chancellor Dubois and Director of Athletics Mike Hill for this incredible opportunity,” Sanchez said. “I am honored and humbled that they have entrusted me with their men’s basketball program. I have waited a long time for the right fit and I truly believe in the leadership of this department. I cannot be more excited to get started. Sanchez has been on staff at nationally-ranked Virginia for the past nine years and has been the associate head coach for the last three. In his time there, Virginia has seen three ACC regular season titles, two ACC tournament titles, has made six appearances in the NCAA tournament and one appearance in the NIT. In their tournament appearances, they have received a No. 1 seed, three times. Prior to being hired by Charlotte, Sanchez played a big part in twotime National Coach of the Year Tony Bennett’s career as well, during their time at Washington State and Virginia. Before working as a coach at Virginia, Sanchez was an assistant coach at Washington State. During his time at Washington State, they
appeared in the NCAA tournament twice as well as playing in the NIT once. In the seasons through 20062008, the team tied their school record with 26 wins. In 2008, the Cougars made it to the Sweet 16 and played in Charlotte. During his time with the Cougars, he was integral in recruiting NBA All-Star and former Washington State star, Klay Thompson. “Ron Sanchez embodies everything we could possibly want in a head basketball coach,” Hill said. “His reputation is impeccable as a teacher, leader, assessor and developer of talent and recruiter. Most importantly, he is a man of high character and integrity. This is a great day for the Charlotte 49ers.” Before coaching at Washington State, he was the director of operations from 2002-2005. For the two seasons before, he was a volunteer assistant coach at University of Indiana and while
helping them to reach the NCAA Tournament Championship game in 2002, he earned a masters degree in athletic administration/sports management. Sanchez’s coaching career began at State University of New York College at Oneonta for the 1998-99 season, after he graduated from there in 1997. In 1996 he was named State University of New York Athletic Conference Player of the Year and Eastern College Athletic Conference Championship Most Valuable Player. After his coaching season at Oneonta, he was the associate head coach for Delhi College for two years. Within those two years Delhi won 31 games, earned the Region III championship and went on to finish fourth in the National Junior College Athletic Association Championship Tournament. Sanchez also had the opportunity to take part as an assistant coach for the Dominican Republic National Team in the summer of 2013, to finish fourth at the FIBA Americas Championship in order to qualify for the 2014 FIBA World Championships for the first time since 1978. The Charlotte men’s basketball team had a dismal 6-23 season this year, collecting on two conference wins.
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ACROSS 1 Norway’s capital 5 Central Florida city 10 Distillery containers 14 Procrastinator’s promise 15 Something in the air 16 Building beam 17 Narrow land formation along the Bering Sea 20 Price hike: Abbr. 21 Bard’s “before” 22 Billionaire Bill 23 Puts on the line 25 Marshy area 26 Most despicable 29 “Citizen Kane” sled 33 Upstate New York Winter Olympics village 36 Acapulco article 37 O. Henry specialty 38 It was thrown into the harbor in a 1773 “party”
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39 Ingenious 41 __ long way: help considerably 42 Washington city with a repetitive name 44 Intertwined 47 Not as cold, as weather 48 Hi-tech worker 49 Hindu deity 51 “Nonsense!” 54 Spy org. called “The Company” 55 Hamburg’s river 58 Scottish archipelago 62 Hot under the collar 63 Ball girl 64 Bothers no end 65 Like golf balls at the start of a hole, usually 66 Nuclear trial 67 Weight loss plan
DOWN 1 Mama bear, in Mexico 2 Songs sung alone 3 Student aid 4 In the movies 5 Egg cells 6 “RUR” playwright 7 Copycats 8 Word with wolf or Ranger 9 Shapiro of NPR 10 Countenance 11 Adjoin 12 “A __ of Two Cities” 13 Mmes., in Madrid 18 __ Kreme: doughnut brand 19 Private nonprofits: Abbr. 24 Mo. town 25 Physique, informally 26 “Mudbound” actress Mary J. __ 27 Composer Copland 28 Norwegian toast 29 Mideast money 30 Erect a house 31 Parent’s brother 32 Senegal’s capital 34 Barely more than not at all 35 Animation frame 39 Turn like a chair 40 2016 Gosling/Stone film ... and, as shown by circles, what each of four answers is 42 Dripping __: soaked 43 Parisian pal 45 Died down 46 Monastic hood 49 Move furtively 50 Waves for, as a taxi 51 Hissed “Hey!” 52 Loafer or moc 53 “Take this” 54 Tech news site 56 __ B’rith 57 Barely beat 59 Attorneys’ org. 60 Filming site 61 Retired flier, briefly
It’s Just Simply Complicated...
Relationships are hard, but they don’t have to be
LIFESTYLE
By Katherine Herrera Photo by Pixabay Relationships can be complicated because every person is different and every relationship is different. There is no exact formula for a successful relationship and there is no such thing as a perfect one either. Although there are perfect relationships in a sense. See where it’s complicated? But I will explain it all. As college students we stress a lot, most of the time we go to our partners to relieve some of that stress in different ways like going to the movies, having drinks or sex. Yet, every relationship still goes through some problem at some point. We tend to miscommunicate easily by interpreting the other persons original meanings differently. For instance, I would say to him “hey babe, want me to come over to chill?” and he would say “if you want that’s fine.” Oh that really used to kill me because to me you’re saying you don’t care
whether I go over or not. If you don’t care I don’t need to go over and if you did care you would just say yes because then that shows it does matter if I go over. I bet many of you understood that and had the same thought process before. To him in his mind, it just means that I can make that decision and he wouldn’t be upset if I didn’t go over but wouldn’t mind if I do did go over. Miscommunication is very common, it is best to never assume. If something isn’t clear or you start to assume, then you should take a step back and simply ask a question. You ask a question to get an answer, so directly ask your partner what they mean. Also, you can ask questions about anything because it is important to get the true information directly from your partner than get upset or stressed over an assumption that most of the time is wrong. It’s also best to communicate without yelling, take your time to discuss the problem allowing you more time to think and make better decisions. It also makes it easier to listen to each other which could lead to a compromise or solution. Keep in mind that no matter what there will always be some sort of disagreement and its healthy if it does not end up harming one another or go too far. You know it’s real when you understand that there will be some disagreement, but that will not change your feelings for that person because after a disagreement, making up afterwards feels amazing in bed too. That’s what I mean by having a perfect relationship with imperfections. I can’t tell you how many times my boyfriend and I argue, we do try to avoid arguments, but if it happens we deal with it at the moment and make up afterwards because we know at the end of the day we love each other and we are not going to let an argument break us up because that’s silly. Now if there is cheating and/or abuse, I personally do not tolerate that. It’s been done
to me before and I left my ex and never looked back because if there’s true love between two people, that shouldn’t happen. If you get hurt that way, you leave the person without a thought and never look back because you can always do better, and I ended up doing better. My boyfriend is very intelligent, handsome, graduated from UNC Charlotte and so much more, while my ex is the complete opposite. Trust is very hard especially if you’ve been in relationships before that didn’t work out. Having trust takes time and that’s very common too. I had trust issues with my boyfriend and I put him through a lot for a few years, but he still stuck around. With my past I was lied to and cheated on from the very beginning of my relationship with my ex that lasted 3 years, so I came out of it with serious trust issues. I did learn something that I feel it would have helped me if I thought of it sooner. I am not saying to trust everyone, but I learned “trust your partner until they give you a reason not to.” If he or she has not done anything, then don’t worry and enjoy the relationship. Now if you have proof of cheating or lying, not assuming if they are, then don’t trust that person and you have the choice to leave. Simple! I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we are very happy. We have been through a lot and trusting each other took a lot of time. We used to argue a lot because we had trust issues, I would assume, I was insecure and afraid he would do something, but the thing is we never gave up on each other because we knew that we wanted to be together. We have never cheated or lied to each other just had some differences. I knew he was the one for me and I wanted just him and he felt the same way. We take it day by day making each other happy and being there for one another. You just need to find what works for you and the person you’re with. You’ll know how to take my advice and make it work for your relationship by knowing its worth.
NINERTIMES.COM
MAR. 27, 2018
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THE SUBSECRETO’S OUT Subsecreto Coffee is a place you will never forget
By Hailey Turpin Above photo by Pixabay Over the weekend of St. Patrick’s day, I spent the day exploring Charlotte and happened to stumble upon the coffee shop that would soon be my favorite. Subsecreto is located directly across the street from UNC Charlotte Center City campus, an unmissable black-brick building with a signature gold snake dawning the brick above the door. When entering, the customer is met with antique wall of Freemason memorabilia, along with the anatomical scroll of the snake. Next to that, a bookshelf built into the wall full of books, incense, essential oils and pictures for sale. The barista told us that the books and other things are changed out every once in a while, so be sure to get whatever you want before it goes away. No spoilers, yet, but visit the shop and ask about the bookshelf. The secret lies within. When my significant other and I made our way to the counter, I noticed a table in the center of the lounge full of notebooks. As a stationary freak, I immediately picked up the first pack I found and notices the notebook was backwards: meaning the notebook was designed for left-handed people. Also as a left-handed person I then proceeded to freak out, and I knew I was in love with this place. They also had ‘normal’ notebooks, but I felt like I was finally at home and welcomed. The cover said “Field Notes” and my journalistic side squealed like a baby goat. Not only did they have the 10 percent left-handed population represented, but the journalists and investigators as well. After my mini-freakout, I finally made it to the counter to order coffee. The man behind the counter not only greeted us when we came in, but continued to talk with us as we browsed. As we prepared to order, looking at the coffee concoctions for sale, he told us that on Saturdays, customers can roll a 20-sided die to get a discount on their order. Feeling lucky on that day, we rolled to see the fate of my bank account. We got a 10 percent discount and then we
12 MAR. 27, 2018
NINERTIMES
proceeded to order our drinks. I ordered the Darkside, made with El Paraiso Espresso, Onyx Chocolate, Cardamom, Sea Salt, Cane Sugar and Whole Milk. My partner stuck with the classic Subsecreto, made with El Paraiso Espresso and topped with Onyx Chocolate whipped cream. When we got our drinks (we told him to take his time so we could look around more) we sat in rustic leather chairs and soaked in the aesthetic. The Darkside can be best explained as a fusion between a chai tea latte and espresso. The cardamom added a warmness to the bitter coffee, and honestly was the best coffee I’ve ever tasted. I tried a bit of the Subsecreto and it was perfectly brewed and created. One thing I will say is that the coffee is a little expensive. However, If all coffee tasted like that, I would pay that much for it. It is 110 percent worth it. Also, we found out that you can become an exclusive member by purchasing a small gold snake pin dawned with Subsecreto’s logo to unlock discounts and member benefits. Next time I visit I will get one and wear it proudly. We spoke more with the barista about the area and the shop itself. We sat for another few minutes as we finished our coffee, and thanked him for the amazing time we had. As we left, we both looked at each other in shock for a good 5 minutes as to how amazing this place was. Over all, this place is mysterious, inviting and totally worth the drive and the money. Even though my time there was short, I can promise you I will be back very soon. The coffee and vibe is unforgettable and one that everyone needs to experience. Do yourself a favor if you love coffee and all things aesthetic, go to Subsecreto.
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