The 10 Paramitas An adventure in living a life of peace, joy, love, and compassion By: Kathleen (Shokai) Bishop, MS, PhD Southern Palm Zen Group 2013
I hope you will spend some time on each one of the Paramitas. The best way to change your life is to make a plan that includes living a life around the 10 Paramitas. Read the essay and then work on the suggestions and ideas in the essay for a week or more. Keep track of your thoughts, feelings, ideas, challenges, and joys at the end of each day in a journal. They can be worked on in the order that they are written or in any order that fits in with your current life and circumstances. Good Luck!
Member and ordained priest through Southern Palm Zen Group, friend of NSP and volunteer at Family Promise, Board member of JAM and All. College professor and corporate trainer teaching mindfulness in the work place and in the classroom.
Education BA in English Literature, Stockton State College, 1974 MBM, Health Services Management, Century University, 1982 Phd, Th.D Florida Religious Studies Institute, 1998, Pastoral Management and Theology MS Higher Education: Administration and Leadership, Kaplan University, 2010 MS Higher Education: Online Teaching and Learning, Kaplan University, 2010
Paramita #1 Generosity The many paths to goodness… Every religion on the planet has a set of rules for living encased in its message. The JudaoChristian religion has the Ten Commandments. The Buddhists have several: The Three Refuges, The Three Pure Precepts, The Ten Grave Precepts and the Ten Paramitas. Almost every nonreligious organization has a set of rules that they live by as well. Many have created creeds for their members such as the Hippocratic Oath that the doctors take, or the business that takes on the Golden Rule for its employees, or the oath you may take if you are a Boy or Girl Scout. Each one gives us a path by which to live, work, and play.
When I teach Customer Service skills to my corporate audiences the first thing we talk about is The Golden Rule: Treat people the way you wish to be treated.” We talk about how it affects us when we deal with our customers and how living by this rule—or not—affects them and us. Each one of these systems gives us a lot of things to work on and think about for sure! But with this comes the ability to look within ourselves to see how we are dealing with the outside world and the inside world in which we live. Are we focused on self, others, things, thoughts, information, deeds, words, or actions—or a combination of them all? Sylvia Boorstein in her book Pay Attention for Goodness’ Sake, Practicing the Perfection of the Heart Sutra (2002) says, “I am, however, tremendously glad to have the Paramitas as a spiritual practice, because they are ways of behaving, and although I am not in charge of what I think, I am—most of the time—responsible for how I act.” Wow! She is so right. Often times thoughts appear in my mind and I wonder, “Where the heck did that come from?!” It may be a fear thought, an anger thought, or a jealousy thought that seemed to pop up unexpectedly in the middle of an encounter with someone, or from listening to a voice mail message, or reading a text message, or e-mail—but there it is.
The power of the thought has taken over my life for good or ill. Depending upon how “I act,” as Sylvia says, will be the crux of my relationship from that moment forward. If I choose to respond to the thought in a negative, angry, mean, vindictive or threatening way that could end the relationship, get me fired, or cause undue harm to the person to which this behavior is directed. Since I am usually a caring person I might then turn that anger, sadness, guilt or shame back on myself. Now I’ve hurt two people and it all happened in a split second!
Reading her book has prompted me to write a series of blog posts on the 10 Paramitas. They can be listed in many different ways often different nouns are used for them as well. I like her list and so I’ll share them with you as she has named them:
Generosity Morality Renunciation Wisdom Energy Patience Truthfulness Determination Loving kindness Equanimity Oddly enough she starts her teaching with Generosity. So will I. She quotes the Buddha saying this about Generosity: “Generosity brings happiness at every stage of its expression. We experience joy in forming the intention to be generous. We experience joy in the actual act of giving something. And we experience joy in remembering the fact that we have given.” Fantastic! Imagine if we worked this entire week on the Paramita of generosity how joyful we could be over and over again throughout the day and evening. We get to feel great when we begin thinking of how we could be generous today, we get to feel great when we are acting out the generosity, and then throughout the day we get to feel great about remembering how the person responded, how it might have helped him or her in some way, large or small—and remembering the look on his or her face. It is like being able to experience the event over and over again such as eating that delicious piece of cake or enjoying that wonderful bowl of soup on a cold afternoon or evening again and again. Without the additional calories of course…how great is that! Herman Hesse in his poem “Steps” wrote, “But only he, who travels and takes chances, can break the habits’ paralyzing stances.” What habits do you have among the 10 Paramitas that might be worth working on? The list is large and the actions can be, as Hesse says—paralyzing. I hope you’ll work on these 10 with me over the next several weeks and if you do I will promise that you will have some wonderful opportunities to awaken to your true self. Let’s begin by working on generosity for the next several days. Upon awakening set your intention for the day before you put your feet on the floor. Say to yourself that today you will find every opportunity, and even deliberately make opportunities, to show generosity. They can be as simple as giving a ride to someone you know without them having to ask. It might be holding the door for someone, or praising his or hers work or talent, or complementing them on their attitude, outfit, or smile. Be generous with your lunch, your time, your talent, your words, your deeds. Then you get to experience the joy of giving over and over throughout the day! How great is that! Contact me and let me know what happens on this great adventure through the Paramitas!
Paramita #2 Morality Morality moving from self to selfless… A few days ago I decided to do a series of blog posts on the 10 Paramitas in Buddhism as shared in Sylvia Boorstein’s book, Pay Attention, For Goodness’ Sake (2002). She described these 10 ideals by which we live as Buddhists: Generosity, Morality, Renunciation, Wisdom, Energy, Patience, Truthfulness, Determination, Lovingkindness, and Equanimity (page 9).1 We started by practicing the Paramita of Generosity and each morning before we arose we set our intention for the day to find every opportunity or to create opportunities to be generous.
I found it very easy and lots of fun as well. When grocery shopping I found some great things on sale that a friend of mine just loves so I bought them for him and surprised him when he came home from work they were sitting on his kitchen counter. He sure was surprised and very appreciative of the gifts and enjoyed eating them throughout the next few days. How wonderful is that! Now I am going to take on the next Paramita on Sylvia’s list: Morality. Wow, now we are in to the heady and often controversial stuff! So let’s dive in with both feet into our newest adventure in life. The American Heritage Dictionary defines the word moral as: “of or concerned with the judgment of the goodness or badness of human action and character; pertaining to the discernment of good and evil and being or acting in accordance with standards and precepts of goodness or with established codes of behavior…
“Mahayana scholars identified three categories of sila: Morality as restraint, morality as virtue, and morality as the selfless activity of compassion. These categories show us a progression of training, from self-concern to selfless concern,” writes Barbara O’Brien in her essay on “Sila Paramita: The Perfection of Morality.”2 She goes on to explain in her essay about what Morality is not. “It's important to understand that the basis of Buddhist morality is not found in external authority. In other words, the practice of morality is not found in unquestioning obedience of a list of rules. Instead, the perfection of morality is the natural expression of wisdom and compassion.”3 Whew, that’s a relief because if I had to review all the lists from all the religions of the world to see what they considered moral and what they considered immoral I’d be in a lot of trouble. Some say drinking alcohol is a sin and will send you to hell in a hand basket,” whatever that is, and others drink every single day as they serve wine during the Eucharist! What’s up with that?
1 2 3
Boorstein, Sylvia, Pay Attention, for Goodness’ sake. Ballantine Books http://buddhism.about.com/od/Paramitas/a/Sila-Paramita.htm
Ibid.
Zen Buddhists are minimalists and I just love that. That makes me happy, keep it simple I say. It sure makes life easier knowing that if I focus on three simple things in my life—restraint, virtue, and compassion—I can live up to the ideals taught and practiced in Buddhism that resonate deep within me.
Paramita #3 Renunciation Yield to your good today… Today we begin our adventure with the third of 10 Paramitas in Buddhism. So far we’ve worked on Generosity and Morales and today it is Renunciation. I looked up the word on Dictionary.com and it gave some great synonyms for the word: denial, forgoing, sacrificing, relinquishing, abandoning, surrendering, and yielding. I liked all of these so much better than the word “Renunciation.” The example they gave of the word was a king renouncing his thrown, which reminded me of King Edward III giving up his thrown for his lover Wallis Simpson, the famous American divorcee. To me it was more of sacrificing a life of fame and power for love. For others it seemed like he was abandoning his country for sex and personal desires.
Each of us must follow our path in this life if we are to be true to ourselves. Renouncing his thrown was not easy for him, accepting his proposal with all its intended and unintended consequences was not easy for her either. Our lives may not be as dramatic and open to the eyes of the world as Edward and Wallis, but each and every day we make choices to renounce, to forgo, to sacrifice, to surrender things, ideas, habits, and more—we do so to be faithful to our “true self.”
Today let us take an inventory of our lives, let us see what is helping us design and live a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life—one that embodies the 10 Paramitas and beyond—one that lifts up humankind. In the Christian Faith we are coming into Lent which is a time of renunciation a time when we sacrifice something for the memory of Jesus and his teachings of peace and love. The Buddha is said to have sacrificed a life of riches and luxury to wander and seek the real meaning of life.
Sylvia Boorstein talks about Buddhism and life in her book Pay Attention, For Goodness’ Sake (2002), she writes: “And maybe it also means that people are realizing that what seemed important to them in their life—materialism and consumerism—doesn’t work at all to make a happy heart. It actually makes an unhappy heart. And an unhappy world. And maybe people are discovering that they really need something that speaks to the essence of their being, something that connects them directly with conscious intention, to the truth of their experience so that their lives become meaningful (page 4).”
And so when you take inventory of your life look closely at the things that made a difference, the things that brought you joy, peace, love, contentment, and a meaningful life. Then list the things that brought you pain, fear, anger, suffering, and loss. Taking an inventory is not easy; it can open old wounds, faults, fears, frustrations, and losses. But it can also help us remember past joys, happiness, loves, and successes.
Once the inventory is completed take time to review the list and remind yourself of the things that you had to renounce or yield in order to survive. It has been said that if life’s experiences do not kill us they make us stronger—sometimes in ways that we may not even recognize. I had to move in with my 92-year-old mother with Alzheimer’s disease and that meant giving up many of my so-called freedoms. Freedom to come and go when I pleased, to sleep in or stay up late, to think only about myself, my schedule, my wants, desires, needs, ability to travel at will and more. But what I have sacrificed is not nearly as much as I have gained in opportunities to actually practice what I teach: Living a life of the 10 Paramitas.
This experience gives me many opportunities daily to practice kindness, compassion, unconditional love, patience, yielding, relinquishment, and to sacrifice time and energy for something good and important—giving my mother a life of honor and respect where she can feel love and compassion each and every day. Do not get me wrong it is not an easy path for me or anyone else that is taking care of an elderly parent or relative or a child or significant other who may be ill or disabled. But millions of us do it and are, in the end, better people having had the experience.
For others reading this blog post you may be desiring the opportunity to relinquish an addiction to drugs, alcohol, food, or shopping—whatever is holding you captive to a life of fear, ill health, financial difficulties and the like. Others may find themselves looking at a job or a relationship that is not functioning or fulfilling and it needs to be relinquished. Let us each surrender to our good today. Let us sacrifice expediency, fear, anger, and revenge for love, compassion, and joy. Self-love and respect can be awakened in us if we yield to our good today.
So take one thing from your list of past hurts and abandon it and surrender to the joy and peace that lives deep within you. Creating a new you is not done overnight, and many of you will need help from friends, family members, self-help groups, spiritual/religious groups, doctors, and the like, but if you are willing to reach out, to relinquish your fears the consequences of change will be magnificent! Be free to relinquish the powerful hold the negative has on you, give it up, renounce it and instead yield to your good today! You may even find your true self! How wonderful is that.
Let me know what happens!
Paramita # 4 Wisdom Wisdom beyond belief… Today we continue our adventure into the 10 Paramitas with Wisdom. What is the difference between Wisdom and knowledge? The dictionary defines knowledge as understanding gained through experience or study. Wisdom is defined as understanding of what is true, right, or lasting. Sylvia Boorstein in her book Pay Attention for Goodness Sake writes, “To develop Wisdom, it doesn’t matter what mind state is present. It only matters that you know what is present (page 108).” In ancient times Wisdom was an attribute of the feminine and was represented by Sophia. "Sophia, the Greek translation of the Hebrew "Hochmah" is the feminine personification of Wisdom in the Pentateuch. She is neither a goddess nor a new age creation of feminist theologians. She was a real biblical person with more material on her in the OT (with Apocrypha) than anyone in the scriptures, except God, Job, Moses and David."1 The great and powerful Solomon when he prayed for Wisdom knew that it came from Sophia. Each of us has the Wisdom of Sophia right within us at every moment throughout eternity. That is why when the dictionary defines Wisdom it does not indicate where you acquired the understanding of what is true, right, or lasting. Wisdom is there for each of us if we just open our minds to that Divine Idea. When my students would be studying for a big test I would always tell them that if all else failed the pencil had the answer. They would laugh and some of them would think I had lost my mind. And they may have been right: Lost it in the mind of Sophia. "She is the 'woman clothed with the sun,' who brings the blazing light of knowledge. Sophia is the embodiment of all wisdom, and it is she who urges us to know, to understand. She leads the willing soul out of ignorance and blesses those who study and endeavor to know her. In the words of Solomon: 'I prayed and understanding was given me: I called upon God and the spirit of Wisdom came to me. I loved Her above health and beauty, and chose to have Her instead of light, for the light that cometh from Her never goeth out.' Sophia is the deepest part of us--that part can grasp in an instant the mysteries of the ages."2 There is truth in that statement about the pencil. For Sophia lives in each of us regardless of whether we have the body of a male or a female. "Behold that I have not laboured for myself only, but for all them that seek Wisdom." She holds all people sacred and will give her Wisdom to anyone who calls upon her. The Buddha lived this life that Sophia talked about each and every day. He may not have called upon Sophia when he was sitting under the Bodhi tree seeking and finding Wisdom of the universe right within him and within everything: the stars, the sun, the moon, the universe all that is, but he found her nonetheless. Wisdom is greater than knowledge or intellect because Wisdom comes from something well beyond knowledge or humanity, you can name it something or nothing. Giving it a name does not lesson the power of Wisdom in the universe or in us. But we so often overlook it.
Throughout time philosophers have tried to understand the nature of Wisdom and how to achieve it. They saw Wisdom in the people around them even before books, Bibles, the Sutras, the internet, and talk radio! How could that be? Because the Wisdom is not in the pencil, the ink, or the person, Wisdom moves through us as it does through all living things. Look for Wisdom in nature, be observant, and be conscious when you walk, drive, eat, work, dance and sing. It is everywhere! We can tap into it at any time. We have been told, seek and you shall find. The Buddha did and so can you! If you take the time today to stop and ask for Wisdom in each every situation that you are dealing with, then sit in the silence for as long as you can and simply listen--your answers will appear. It is said that Thomas Edison would take a coin and place it in his hand; he would then lie down on a bench in his laboratory and think about the problem or the question. He would take a nap, and when the coin fell to the ground it would wake him up. Then he would reach for his pencil and write down whatever thoughts were there. It was invariably the answer to his problem. If Thomas Edison could us this technique so can you. Meditate on Wisdom today and every day this week. Take the time to be like Thomas Edison when you have a problem at work or at home. Listen for the still small voice within you and then write its message down, then follow through with the ideas that have been given to you. Let me know what you discovered!
[1] http://www.pinn.net/~sunshine/book-sum/sophia.html [2] Ibid.
Paramita # 5 Energy Do you have the energy of an ant? We continue our series on the 10 Paramitas with Energy called Virya Paramita: Perfection of Energy. The idea of the power of energy in our lives appears in Buddhism, Taoism, and metaphysics frequently. Charles Fillmore, co-founder of the Unity movement, wrote frequently about energy. He taught that each of us has 12 powers which are related to the 12 disciples and one of them is the power of zeal which resides in the back of the head at the base of the neck and is represented by the disciple Simon who was often referred to as the zealot. Charles invited us to try a simple technique to increase our energy. He said when you feel a lack of energy give a good massage with your fingers to the area where the head and neck meet, and it will quickly help bring back your energy. Stop for a second and give it a try—test it out to see if it works now and anytime when you feel you need a little burst of energy. At the age of 94 Charles Fillmore wrote this affirmation, “I fairly sizzle with zeal and enthusiasm to do the work that is mine to do.” I sure hope I can feel that way when I am 94! In Charles’ book The Twelve Powers of Man he wrote, “Zeal is the mighty force that incites the winds, the tides, the storms; it urges the planet on its course, and spurs the ant to great exertion. To be without zeal is to be without the zest of living. Zeal and enthusiasm incite to glorious achievement in every aim and ideal that the mind conceives. Zeal is the impulse to go forward, the urge behind all things. Without zeal stagnation, inertia, death would prevail throughout the universe. The man without zeal is like an engine without steam or an electric motor without a current. Energy is zeal in motion, and energy is the forerunner of every effect.” In Buddhism we talk about energy this way: “Virya is energy or zeal. It comes from an ancient Indian-Iranian word that means "hero," and it is also the root of the English word "virile." So, virya paramita is about making a courageous, heroic effort to realize enlightenment. To practice virya paramita, we first develop our own character and courage. We engage in spiritual training. And then we dedicate our fearless efforts to the benefit of others.4 “In the case of Taoist practice, it is the effort, vigor, and diligence applied to our spiritual path. It is a kind of zeal or exertion, a fearless brave activity, which supports us in overcoming the various obstacles that inevitably present themselves -- whether our practice is a martial art, qigong, sitting meditation, calligraphy, recitation and ritual ... or anything else.5
Each of us at some time or another may need to bring zeal, energy, and enthusiasm into our life. It really does not matter where you live, what job you do, or situation in life you are currently in, because life without zeal, enthusiasm, and energy is flat, boring, and nonproductive. Since we
4 5
http://buddhism.about.com/od/basicbuddhistteachings/a/Virya-Paramita.htm http://taoism.about.com/od/taoismglossaryv/g/Virya.htm
are given such a short time on this planet it might be a great thing to realize our full potential and have the mind, body, and spirit energy to do the things we have come here to do. For some it may be living a life of work in the business world, for others it may be public service, or teaching or the medical field or being a stay-at-home mom or dad, and yet for some others they may be in unique living circumstances where their days are planned for them not by them. Regardless of which circumstance you may be in take control of your life and direct your zeal, energy, and enthusiasm to the matters at hand. How about doing the dishes, cooking, walking, eating, reading, studying, or meditating with an enthusiasm that sends electricity through you and fills the air around you? I have known people like that and when you stepped into their presence you knew there was something special about them, even though you may not have been able to put your finger on just what it was! Enthusiasm in life is catchy! Many years ago I worked in Community Theater with a man who was so fantastic his characters were so real; his dedication to the script and the play was incredible. He left the audience mesmerized. And when you worked with him your acting was brought up a hundred fold. It was fantastic! I caught his love for live theater and have never lost it. His enthusiasm was catchy! Imagine what a wonderful world this would be if we did everything, even the most minute and maybe even boring thing, with zeal, energy, and enthusiasm: ZEE. Think of the little ant that Charles wrote about—that ant can carry from 20-50 times its weight, so the scientists say. Now that’s energy backed by zeal and enthusiasm! Imagine if you filled your life with ZEE and you could SEE life through that lens. How about seeing people, chores, places, and things through the lens of ZEE just think how happy you could BEE! Remember the little ant: if he can—so can you! Try it out this week and let me know what you SEE!
Paramita #6 Patience Patience…the “P” gene In spring colors there is no high nor low Some flowering braches are by nature long, some short (Harada, page 5). When I read this in Shodo Harada’s beautiful book Moon by the Window (2011) it reminded me of the patience of spring waiting to appear after a long and difficult winter of snow and ice and cold. It did not push itself in before its time, but waited patiently for the earth to get in just the right position when all the elements were perfect for new birth and growth. When was the last time we waited with patience for anything? Our society is so filled with hurry- up and rushes and to-do lists and must-do lists we find it difficult to take even a few moments each day to sit quietly and simply observe our breath. Or to watch a flower bloom or to see a bird as it patiently follows the wind and the sun moving north and south with the seasons, instinctively knowing what the right time is. Daily we are given the opportunity to show patience in our lives. Some of us lose our patience while driving down the road when the car in front of us does not move fast enough, or is moving too fast and may cut us off to get ahead of us because he or she thinks we are driving to slowly. How many times have you rushed through a meal only to get indigestion? How many times have you finished a meal and you don’t even remember what you ate? Are you someone who starts out each week wishing your life away? How many times have you said, “Boy, I can’t wait until the weekend”? Or how about, “Will this meeting ever get over I have so many things to do”? For some of us it is a personality type, they used to call it Type “A” behavior. But I call it Type “P” behavior! We are missing the “Patience” gene! It is the gene that allows us to simply enjoy the moment in which we are living. The sad thing is that this moment will never appear again and we may have missed a wonderful, beautiful, or mind awakening thing in the process. During the time I have been writing this blog post my mother has entered the room several times impatiently needing my attention and so I stopped, thought about the topic and with “patience” helped her. Living with a family member with special needs, be it Alzheimer’s or other mental or physical disability gives us plenty of time to practice patience. It is not easy at times and I do lose my temper or get upset, but each day as I practice the 10 Paramitas it just gets a little easier and easier. My “P” gene is showing up more and more! How about yours? Many years ago I had the privilege to work in Spain doing training for a multinational firm and I was shocked about the schedule with which we did our training. It was nothing like what we do in America. In the U.S. we start between 8 and 9 a.m. and end between 4 and 5 p.m. with two short breaks and a lunch. In Spain they started at 10, took a coffee break at 11 and went for a two hour lunch between 2 and 4 and ended at 6 p.m. Wow! What a difference. They all think
American’s are crazy with the number of hours we put in at work and how few vacation days we take each year. The Spaniards know how to have patience, relax, and enjoy life! This week let us practice being more like them and growing the “P” Gene! Find some time each day to practice patience with yourself and with others. Find some time to simply sit, simply watch the grass grow, or the snow fall, or play with your kids, your dogs or your cats. Each time that monkey mind interrupts with your to-do list just let it go by and simply keep on sitting or playing or watching the grass grow or the snow fall. Then ask yourself how you felt in mind, body, and spirit when you gave the “P” Gene a little chance to grow. This is just like the plant you tried to grow in the paper cup in grade school. If you pulled out the seed everyday it would not grow, once you saw it sprouting if you pulled out the small growth you would have killed it. You probably can hear your teacher asking you to have patience and soon enough you’d see results. And guess what —you did! What results would you like to see in your life today? With patience they just might appear!
Paramita #7 Truthfulness Truthfulness…human frailty Mitsunen Roku (Lou Nordstrom) one of the most loveable and outstanding teachers in our linage of Zen Buddhism wrote a wonderful little book entitled Essays in Zen Daoism (2010). In it he has a chapter entitled “On Being Honest,” and boy is he honest about being honest! He writes, “Freud was right: human beings have an almost infinite capacity for self-deception, and nowhere is this more prominent than in the pervasive, perennial need to believe in a ‘higher, spiritual nature. (page 71)’”
For me this is a reason to continue learning, searching, and seeking that “higher spiritual nature” for it just may be there and my lower personality or human frailties may just be a temporary state of consciousness. Whether or not we believe there is a “higher spiritual nature” is up to each of us. We may not have the conviction of Mitsunen Roku when he writes, “We would like to think of ourselves as bodhisattvas committed to the salvation or liberation of all beings. Honestly, how much do you really care about the suffering of others? What sort of negative emotions do you actually feel about other human beings? What do you honestly feel about the one you love? Catullus said, ‘I love, and I hate; and I am torn in two.’ That’s honesty! (page 72).”
Being truthful with self is probably more difficult than being truthful with others. At least it is for me! My mother is one of those inherently honest people. She would not take even a penny if it did not belong to her. She has a vivid sense of right and wrong, truth and lies. So I guess I got some of it from her. But I often find myself being untruthful with myself. I tell myself things like, “Don’t worry eating this piece of cake won’t add a single pound to your waistline if you just eat it mindfully.” Or how about this one: Driving over the speed limit is okay because it is more important to be on time to Zen to help set up.
He writes, “Be honest about the nature of the motivation behind your practice (page 72).” Who cares what you practice for or which practice you decide to take up? You can be a great Catholic, Buddhist, Atheist, or Theosophists as long as you are truthful to yourself about why you practice the principles, truthful to yourself about why you believe what you believe, truthful to yourself about why you act the way you act because of those principles.
He quotes Bodhidharma who said, “Vast emptiness, no holiness!” The fantasy of a higher nature is about holiness, sacred as opposed to profane reality. Bodhidharma didn’t speak of Buddhanature, true nature, essential nature; he said, in a spirit of radical honesty, ‘I KNOW NOT!’ Do you honestly know who or what you are (page 71)?” Yeah, if you do! Yeah, if you don’t! This week our practice is on truthfulness. Regardless, of whether we do or don’t honestly know who or what we are today is a great day to begin looking at our lives and seeing how truthful we are to others and to ourselves. We all need to examine our lives with open eyes. However, we
need not be critical of what we find, but we do need to be open to an occasional “AH HA.” Then decide what you want to do about it, if anything. Sometimes it is cruel to be truthful to someone who may think they look great in that chartreuse shirt or blouse, sometimes the person may be better served if we let him or her know in a kind and loving way that this may not be his or her best color choice. Let the person know what looks great on them and tell them why.
Life is a challenge, living a life of truthfulness is an even greater challenge. So when the times get tough just know you are in good company with Bodhidharma and just admit “I know not!” Then do what your heart tells you is right and honest and truthful with compassion and love and you can’t go wrong with that!
Paramita #8 Determination Determination…the gateless gate The Gateless Gate The great path has no gates, Thousands , of roads enter it. When one passes through this gateless gate He walks freely between heaven and earth. (Mascetti, 2001)6 This is life in the 21st Century. How many of us see the thousands of roads, opportunities, challenges, joys, and frustrations and get so befuddled that we freeze up and simply stop in our tracks? The challenge feels overwhelming, too much for us to take on, too much to think about, too much to do and we become impotent. And yet when we do move ahead and accept the challenge we find that we can succeed and overcome even the most demanding and mind boggling life’s situations. Once we find that gate and have the strength and determination to pass through it we see that it wasn’t as difficult as we may have thought. Or the reward at the other end was greater than we could have imagined. Or if we do not succeed we find that life did not end, that failure was easier to accept than we thought, or our desire changed and we decided that we could live without the thing, the job, the person, or the possession. We may even have reviewed what we truly value in life and found out that it was NOT it. Determination is something that all of the most enlightened creative people that we recognize on this planet had—Jesus, Shakyamuni Buddha, Mohammad, Charles and Myrtle Fillmore (Founders of the Unity Church), Thomas Edison (inventor of too many things to list), Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., Rosa Parks, and you. Yes, you! You would not be reading this if you were not on your way to enlightenment or have not had some wonderful enlightening experiences through your determination to pray, meditate, or sit. Some of those experiences may have even come simply by accident. That great universal AH HA can sneak up on us at any time, and many times when we least expect it…so keep your eyes open—it just may be right here, right now! Notice the word “light” inside the word “enlightenment.” These people saw the light in something that was greater than them, they paid attention, and they acted on the light and thus changed the world. And yet, sometimes we simply need to be determined to let things go, to stop pushing, trying, thinking, mulling, and running the show. As Osho wrote: Sitting silently, Doing nothing, Spring comes, And the grass grows by itself.7 6
Mascetti, M.D., 2001, The Little Book of Zen Haiku, Koans, Sayings, NY: Fall River Press, pg.69
Enlightenment is knowing when, and if, and how to do it, or NOT—to simply be determined to let go and let the spring know how to grow the grass all by itself.
7
Ibid. page 24 Picture by Mitch Doshin Cantor http://listeningwiththeeye.squarespace.com/galleries/color/
Paramita #9 Loving Kindness
Loving Kindness…the bodhisattva way “The teaching of Mahayana Buddhism, the teaching of Zen, is the teaching of love, not hate. My teacher did not teach people to hate one another, he taught people to love one another (Anderson page 178).” So writes Reb Anderson in his wonderful book Being Upright Zen Meditation and the Bodhisattva Precepts. So what we are talking about here is not romantic love, but agape love, the love of humanity with all its frailties, foibles, and mistakes. Loving kindness when it is hard, when it is not deserved, when it is well deserved, and when it is simply plain fun.
This is the way of the adept, the bodhisattva, the monk, the minister, the rabbi, the priest, and the wayfarer. When a person is surrounded by the idea of loving kindness inside and out it can be seen on his or her face, heard in his or her voice, and noticed in the actions taken. Are we all perfectly loving and kind all the time? Not hardly, but to be so more often than not David Baird says, “We must learn from the past, prepare for the future, and live in the present (Baird page 161).”8 To do so we may want to take an inventory of the times in the past when we were not practicing loving kindness, and when we were practicing loving kindness, and then look at the things we need to do to prepare for the future opportunities that may appear to practice loving kindness. How do we do that—by living in the present! In this very present moment when I am living mindfully I am fully conscious of my thoughts, feelings, and actions and if I catch myself being unkind I can quickly and immediately make a 180 degree turn and show loving kindness.
Sitting, meditating, and praying on a regular basis will make this happen more often, it will make it much easier to catch ourselves in the moment and ultimately improve our relationships with everyone we meet be they family, friends, co-workers, customers, bosses, inmates, or strangers. When we do this Reb Anderson tells us there is light at the end of the tunnel. “You practice being upright to generate love, not to generate states of mind. States of mind come and go, and happiness comes and goes; but love can be developed so that it doesn’t come and go (Anderson, page 26).”9 We can learn to love the person and not the actions. We can learn to walk a mile in the other person’s shoes and thus show loving kindness for the pain and anguish they may be in.
Many people walk around with very low self-esteem, with voices in their heads that remind them of the hundreds of times they may have been put down, marginalized, or physically or mentally abused when growing up. For these people loving kindness was never shown to them and so they have no example to pattern themselves after. These, my friends, are people who need more loving kindness than your average Jane or Joe. 8 9
Baird, D. (2000), A Thousand Paths to Enlightenment. London, England: MQ Publications Limited Anderson, R. (2001). Being Upright Zen Meditation and the Bodhisattva Precepts. Berkeley, CA: Rodmell Press.
This week we will practice loving kindness when it is easy, when it is hard, and when it is fun. We will be given many opportunities to do it I am sure! There is never a moment when loving kindness cannot be displayed. Keep an inventory of how many opportunities you were given each day, notice where they came from and how you responded to them. If you were unable to respond with loving kindness do not be unkind to yourself. Simply look at your behavior and what triggered it and determine to not let that trigger take you away from showing loving kindness in the future.
It will take practice with some people and some situations, but it will be well-worth it in the end. You will see your triggers getting smaller, and lighter, and appearing less often. You will find solace and peace in the action of loving kindness and just maybe you may see it returned in kind. Keep your eyes and ears open for that! Loving kindness is on its way to you today! Namaste‌
Paramita #10 Equanimity
Equanimity…keeping your cool What the heck is equanimity anyway? Dictionary.com defines equanimity as mental or emotional stability or composure, especially under tension or strain; calmness; equilibrium. Wow, why didn’t they just say so? Everyone would love to have more equanimity in his or her life that’s for sure. What a wonderful day we would have if we were calm, composed, and emotionally stable throughout the day! That, unfortunately, rarely occurs.
Most of us live our lives on a roller coaster moving up and down the emotional range from depressed to manic, from happy to euphoric, from bored to frantic. What’s that all about? The Bhagavad Gita says, “Perform all thy actions with mind concentrated on the Divine, renouncing attachment and looking upon success and failure with an equal eye. Spirituality implies equanimity. [Trans. Purohit Swami]” That’s what it’s all about.
So how do we take this life of ups and downs, highs and lows, and turn our focus from the emotions to the Divine to spirituality to equanimity—meditation, contemplation, and sitting are ways that we can train the mind and body to stay “cool” as Allan Lokos writes, “A modern definition of equanimity: cool. This refers to one whose mind remains stable and calm in all situations (Lokos, Pocket Peace). I would love to be able to keep my mind stable and calm regardless of the situation I am in. How about you?
Jean-Yves Leloup in his book Compassion and Meditation: The Spiritual Dynamic between Buddhism and Christianity writes, “The meditative mind sees disagreeable or agreeable things with equanimity, patience, and good-will. Transcendent knowledge is seeing reality in utter simplicity. (146)” So now is the time to begin a regular practice of meditation/sitting. We used to say in Unity that prayer is talking to God and meditation is shutting up long enough to “listen” to God. Sitting in the quiet and simply watching your breath or counting is an opportunity to create equanimity in your mind, body, and spirit and create a life of peace, patience, and good will.
That’s easy enough when your life is going along smoothly, but it is not so easy when your life is filled with challenges, problems, and fears. There is one caveat though about having a regular meditation program in your life, it builds up inside of you like snow on the Colorado Rockies in winter. Each day you sit or meditate some internal peace appears and helps you stay calm and collected for a particular length of time. The next day you will discover that the time of peace and calmness increases and that increase is directly related to the time spent in the quite. Exactly like the depth of the snow in the Rockies.
If you have ever walked through the forest after a recent snow fall the quiet is incredible. The peace and beauty is mind boggling. The monkey mind quickly calms, the blood pressure goes
down, and you are filled with the beauty of the moment and those anxious or fearful thoughts seem to have disappeared. Equanimity has replaced them. You are probably thinking, “Oh, that’s easy to do in that situation, but not in my life, rushing to work through traffic jams, deadlines imposed on me from higher ups, children with the flu, financial problems, college loan debts, and more! In my life equanimity is impossible.” It may not be easy, but nothing is impossible. We got to the moon then Mars. We found a cure for small pox and polio and many other diseases that masses of people died from in the past. Someone believed that it could be done and they did it.
One of my favorite poems is by Edgar A. Guest: “It Couldn’t Be Done.” Somebody said that it couldn't be done, But he with a chuckle replied That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried. So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin On his face. If he worried he hid it. He started to sing as he tackled the thing That couldn't be done, and he did it. Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that; At least no one ever has done it"; But he took off his coat and he took off his hat, And the first thing we knew he'd begun it. With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin, Without any doubting or quiddit, He started to sing as he tackled the thing That couldn't be done, and he did it. There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done, There are thousands to prophesy failure; There are thousands to point out to you, one by one, The dangers that wait to assail you. But just buckle in with a bit of a grin, Just take off your coat and go to it; Just start to sing as you tackle the thing That "cannot be done," and you'll do it.
Edgar Guest 1881-1957
Our plan for this week is to read and live our life like the man that Edgar Guest described in his poem. Why not? Just think: if you start to sing as you tackle the thing that could not be done you can do it! Simply do it with equanimity!