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Why Black women owe Black men an...



Top Aphrodisiacs for Women Senual Fitness: How to Satisfy her consistently Coach K.: Just Breathe during Intercourse

Sexual Health Report:


Plus + How to use food as foreplay








8 Instagram Hottie Never before have you seen the beauty of our January Hottie. She will melt the snow away. 10 Food & Foreplay Chef Williams cooks up a savory soup that you can use to get your lady in the right mood 12 Just Breathe Conscious breathing during sexual intercourse is one of the most overlooked; least studied and under practiced aspects of Sex on planet earth today. 14 Top 10 list Try some of these aphrodisiacs to increase the blood flow to your sacred place and release some pheromones in your brain.


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The wonderful artist Aisha Williams tells black women to apologize to the black men. Today’s America demands that we begin to repair the soul of our Kings and warriors.

Editor In Chief

Nikeema Lee,

Art Director

Upscale Desires Design,


Ron Huntley,


Sales Office

Nikeema Lee (973) 531-7545

6 • Upscale Desires Magazine •


ew Year, New You... wait didn’t we start last year just like this? each year we comb over our lives and decided that things need to change. We say that we are going to do things differently and for awhile you do. Then eventually the old you come screaming back and your forced into another year of unfulfilled dreams and a stolen legacy. I’m not going to ask you to make a resolution because it hasn’t worked for you before. I will say that each day is a new day and if you take advantage of each day you will succeed. This months edition looks to encourage you to advantage of each day that you are given.

Healing comes in this issue and we always like to have fun that why we invited some new contributor’s to join us. From the charming Chef Williams, food foreplay; to Coach Khayr a.k.a Dr. Love teaching us to Just Breathe, we explore the best ways to have organic orgasms. Fitness trainer Montique Stephon shows us how to please women sexually, consistently. This, our first issue of the new year, ushers in a new way of thinking about sex, intimacy and ultimately ourselves. Hold yourself in high regard and others will know how to teach you. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

UPSCALE READING & LEARNING A Cook’s Journey by Chef Irvin J. Williams, Jr. Every chef has a history of rich heritage displayed and experienced in his or her cooking style. My presentation and preparation of each meal is directly attributed to the ingredients of love and influence I received from three beautiful women, who nurtured and molded the greatness flowing through every recipe.

Step into my kitchen, recreate every recipe, and let your heart fall in love with my three most favorite women in the world. Each story will take you on a journey down the most intricate blend of life, love, and cooking. Don’t be surprised when you find yourself whistling and singing as you prepare a mouthwatering five-course meal from scratch.


Be Willing to Accept the Challenge



continued through life I never really lost the desire to give out information in return for the magic moment. The first time I recieved the opoortunity to deliver a block of instruction to an audience I nearly throw up moments before I was due to present. I was so nerves. I had the typical feelings, sweating palms and even more sweaty underarms. I was terriorfied. Yet I knew I would rather be no where else then this moment. As my momemt stared me in the face, I just talked. I recall finding that one face that was friendly to help calm my nerves. I remembered to smile. It was through that smile I felt relaxed and capable of doing what in my heart I already knew I can do. Accepting the challenge is nothing more than the action of facing your fears. By accepting any challenge that presents itself you push through the illusion of fear. The obsticals that once held you back from achieving your dreams will begin fall like dominos.

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V I T K A @

@AktiveAndAttraktive Dancer & Erotic Entertainer from Columbia, SC USA 8 • Upscale Desires Magazine •

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Grab her with



Chef Irvin J. Williams rney” u o J ’s k o o C “A f o r o Auth g CEO of NOLA Caterin Feeding your partner soup for dinner can be very sensual and erotic. Here’s a sexy classy soup to get you in the mood!

In heavy saucepan or stock pot over medium-high heat, add 3/4 pound butter, carrots, celery, onions, and garlic and cook until the vegetables have begun to brown, 10 to 12 minutes.

1 pound unsalted butter, divided 1 cup medium-diced carrots 1 cup medium-diced celery 1 cup medium-diced onions 1 tablespoon minced garlic 2 cups sherry 1 cup all-purpose flour 1 quart crab or lobster stock 3 quarts heavy cream 2 tablespoons crab boil seasoning (recommended: Old Bay) 2 ounces crab roe, or sea urchin roe (uni) 1/4 cup minced fresh parsley 2 pounds crab meat

with the sherry, and stir and scrape up any bits. Once deglazed, add the flour and stir into the butter to create a roux. Once well mixed, add the stock and cream, reduce the heat to mediumlow, and cook for 25 minutes, stirring throughout to ensure the soup does not scorch.

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Deglaze Pulse

the soup with a hand mixer to mince the vegetables. Add the crab boil seasoning, crab roe, and parsley and continue to cook for 10 minutes. Remove the soup from heat, whisk in the remaining 1/4 pound butter, and stir in the crab meat.



Upscale Desires Magazine • • 11


by Coach Khayr a.k.a Dr. Love


er back began to arch. Her eyes rolled far back in her head. The moan coming from her throat sounded like it was coming from the very bottom of her stomach. And her vagina? Her vagina was Pacific Ocean wet. Not Lake Michigan wet or Mississippi or Nile River wet. I said it was PACIFIC OCEAN WET! Conscious breathing during sexual intercourse is one of the most overlooked; least studied and under practiced aspects of Sex on planet earth today. So many people are just clueless about the natural enhancement of sexual intercourse that can be experienced by just paying more attention to the breath than the body parts during intercourse. You see, breathing goes with everything. Everybody does it and you can’t live 6 minutes without it. In my mind, something this important should be garnering more points on people’s priority list than the next new pair of J’s or how much weight Pinky the infamous porn star is gaining. Now since I’ve got sexual pleasure ranked pretty high up on my priority list, I’ve discovered that studying these two pursuits AT THE SAME TIME has brought some super duper, extra juicy life experiences in and outside of the bedroom. Actually, “conscious breathing” goes better with sex and orgasms than

almost everything else out here. Why? Well, It’s free, its in unlimited quantity and if it is monitored “consciously” by one or both partners during intercourse, the results will leave everybody happy and the sheets soaked. Now let’s examine the “conscious breath” component for a second so you too can start reaching greater heights in your love making experiences. On the in thrust, I want you to inhale ONE slow breath for the duration of the “in” penetration and don’t exhale until the “back stroke” or pulling out motion and make continue pg 23

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is your source for new and exciting ways to spice up your usual travel plans. Explore exotic locations and destination to let your mind spirit and body roam free.

Top 10 Aphrodisiacs for Women


he act of making love is a wonderful feeling for two people. Food and love are the two primal appetites in humans that are the driving force of most of our actions and motivation. If you’ve ever thought about increasing the passion and igniting more sexual desire and performance in your sex life. Try some of these aphrodisiacs to increase the blood flow to your sacred place and release some pheromones in your brain. Here are a few scents and foods that you can try that some women feel enhance


their sexuality. Even though licorice may not be on the list of a lot of peoples tasty snack list.


The smell of is believed to affect sex hormones. In certain species of primates, the females are sexually attracted to the release of sex pheromones excreted in the sweat of male members. Human beings are no different and the smell of your boyfriends or husbands sweat after a long run or tough workout may be a big turn on for some women.

Basil is a sweet spicy scent which can help revive your sexual relationship. Basil can be used in massages to help relax and entice your partner.


Vanilla helps uplift the mood

of some woman, making them much more open to enjoying love and intimacy.


Pure chocolate, the king of natural aphrodisiac is said to help induce feelings of excitement, attraction and euphoria. Chocolate will be long regarded as a top aphrodisiac.

14 • Upscale Desires Magazine •


Jasmine is an erotic, sensuous scent which brings out strength, affection and warmth in a sexual relationship.


Lavender is soothing, and eases you in to

a slow, playful, seductive mood. You can use this wonderful scent as an oil or candles which can burn the night away while you make love.


Cinnamon is

among the top aphrodisiac scents to attract men, generating excitement and warmth and gets the blood flowing.


Sweet, sticky

honey is a great source for promoting sex drive in women and orgasm in both men and women.


Rose scents are known to heat up romance in the bedroom. The fabulous scent of roses to promotes healing and eases tension and anxiety.


The Avocado is a healthy food that boosts the immune system. The Aztecs associated the tree with sexuality based on the look of the hanging fruit

Making love can be sweet, romantic or fun. Aphrodisiacs make the ride much more sexier, exciting, passionate and erotic. LOVE: Organically, Purely, Deeply, Naturally, Boldly Visit us on for more information Originally posted on the Luxury Lifestyle Vacations Blog Courtesy of Upscale Desires Magazine • • 15


THE APOLOGY POETRY By KhaYah (Aisha Williams)©


hey beat me and I called you to save me ... but you couldn’t.. so I secretly resented you. They took our babies and sold them, I begged you to save us.. but you couldn’t .. so I secretly blamed you.. They raped me, and I cried out for you to protect me... but you couldn’t.....So I stopped trusting you... You were supposed to be my man.. my provider.. my protector but when I needed you.. you couldn’t be there... so I hated you... How could I let you tell me what to do. When massa could protect me more than you.. How could I submit to you when you are forced to submit to massa? So to protect myself I submitted to the one who could protect me and our children. I stopped trusting you.. I stopped loving you.. I stopped honoring you.. I stopped valuing you and in turn I became valueless to you. I didn’t see the frustration in your eyes when our children were sold.. I didn’t hear your silent cries when I was beaten.

I didn’t see your anger when I was being ravished.. I didn’t understand that you held your emotions to be strong for me.. I thought you didn’t care.. but you wanted to be wanted to protect me.. you wanted to .... but massa made it so you couldn’t so I would trust him more than you. I didn’t see the hidden hands shaping our destiny.. all I saw was my pain.. and the feeling that you neglected me.. For all the times I blamed you, I’m sorry For the resentment and distrust I’ve held against you for centuries.. I’m sorry For the times I’ve let you down For all the times I’ve broken your spirit with my words and my actions. For the times I openly rejected you.. and tried to control you .. because I thought less of you.. I’m sorry.. Massa had a plan.. that he said would work for 400 years.. 400 years is over now. My eyes are wide open... .. I see the king in you... Please forgive my wrongs and see your queen in me.

Why Black women owe Black men an...


Upscale Desires Magazine • • 17


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here is a feeling that you get when you win in the bedroom. There is this sensation that you get when she looks up at you with that amazed look. When she wipes the sweat from your head and smiles as if to say, you know just how to please me. You know she is telling the truth and those words wash over you seeping into your pores, reminding you what it means to be a man. Its those moments that makes life worth it. Those indescribable moments that we live and die for

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as men. But it is a gift and a curse because once we have tasted that, nothing is the same. You just don’t feel like a man, you start to question your worth. You start to wonder what you are doing here, why you exist... Many of us do things like purchase pills to make us last longer, just to get back to that place. Many of us get expensive surgeries to enhance our size, just to get back to that place. All of us have purchased gifts, trips, done nice things because we want, better yet need to get back to that place. Temporary fixes sometimes work, sending us on a high just to leave us on a low when it stops working just as fast as it started. You can take more pills, you can get more surgery, you can buy more gifts but with each thing you do that fails the more doubt you create in yourself and in your capacity to evoke the love from her that a man should be able to evoke. As a trainer and relationship coach in the business for 10 years I can say that your first and primary objective must be to win. You must target that motivation, you must target that frustration, you must target that ambition not toward her primarily, but toward yourself. You have to log victories leading up to and after satisfying your woman because it is those victories that will be doing the most important work which is reminding you of who you are and of the power that you carry. You confront each and every thought that is not empowering you with positivism, suffocating the bad with good.

Your woman will watch you improve at 360 degrees internally, externally, spiritually. Your skin, your smell, your stamina all ramp because you are eating and training in ways that will make you better, better in bed, better in so many ways. You are more exciting because you have things you want to try out. You want to show her what she has in you, you want to remind her of what you can do.

THOUGHTSS. ARE THINGU WHEN YO N MEDITATE OY, NEGATIVITYING RA IT IS LIKE PG OU FOR THIN STYT O DON’T WAN HAPPEN. The results with fitness take time to see visually, but you see the difference immediately in bed with her. In just days you start looking better, you are no longer bored or boring and its because you have channeled your passion to satisfy her into the only thing that will help you have the capacity to make that happen, yourself.

REAL CHANGE STARTS WITH IN YOU. You have to be unafraid to be the man you are. You have to challenge yourself to be that man. Begin by understanding your bodytype and the naitive sexual abilities built into it. Tap into the power you have naturally and then build on to it stacking on more abilities that your body is already primed to do well. You are ensuring a victory, because you have taken the proper precautions...

You are investing in knowing your body can perform at a high capacity, you have a mind trained to win, you have an arsenal of abilities all your own customized to your style tailor fit to your unique shape. And you have the will , the strength and the motivation to see that woman whisper your greatness into your ear. You have a passion to see her look up at you amazed, damp, overwhelmed, thankful and smiling. Getting there happens quickly it all starts with taking a first step to better understanding yourself and what you can do as a man. Learn the sensual skills lying dormant in your unique body type at

Montique Stephon is a personal trainer with a specialty in calisthenic exercise for building sexual stamina in men and women. For 10 years Montique has worked with men and women around the world to improve their relationships through helping them understand that their performance and health are directly linked. Montique is the founder of Zenity Fitness a creator of innovative functional training fitness programs for men and women.


1. Recite three positive things about yourself for each criticism of yourself that you make, it does not matter the topic, you will directly address negativity with positivism each and everytime it occurs.

3. Take items out of your diet that contain large amounts of salt, sugar and other processing.

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THE ROAD TO BECOMING AUTHENTIC Guidance on how to better one’s life and relationship(s) through selfreflection, honest communication, balance and dream building, is how I would describe this book. Readers will have the tools needed to make informed choices about themselves in order to determine the best direction to proceed with their current life and relationship situation. The Road to Becoming Authentic is a journey of SELF-DISCOVERY. It’s really just the beginning of what will be a cycle of beginnings and endings. This book comes with a playful theme. This imaginary trip reads as if you were on a voyage, making stops along the way. Know these stops are not detours but instead, collection and drop off points where exchanges will be made, items will be sold and opportunities will be purchased. As the road before you unfolds, please take the time to look within and record your experiences. Take

account of the points of interest, taking not just mental notes, but capture the moments that strike you emotionally and spiritually. Don’t let life weigh heavy on your heart, for change is only as close as you allow it to be. It will take you 30 Days to complete this book. Applying these principles to your daily life for the next 30 days will allow you to receive what you intend to have. 30 Days to Freedom: Becoming Authentic: Ultimate Guide to Falling in Love with the Real You is a traveler’s guide to breaking out of the emotional prisons we all have built for ourselves. Consider this a Get Out of Jail Free Card.

continue from pg 12 sure it’s just as slow. The key is to match the stroke, in AND out, with the inhale and the exhale. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, Good. Now, let me see you go practice. But while practicing I want you to keep one thing in mind please, “How slow can I inhale?” The slower the inhale, the slower the in thrust. That is the key. I want you to do this particular rhythm in a pattern of 10. That means do TEN of these ‘stroke breaths’ IN A ROW. I’m not going to spoil your surprise and tell you the results but I will say this, there will be a very noticeable difference in how women respond than men. Both are going to be great, they’re just going to be different ‘types’ of great. If you’re in a relationship, share with your partner your ideas about implementing this into your sexual practice. If you want to just sneak it in as a surprise on your partner, which works too. Have some fun first, get the ball rolling, and then ease into it. Also, if you are a meditator and practice deep, lower abdominal breathing, you’re going to be 10 steps ahead of the game on this one and your results are going to magnified 10 fold. So have fun, don’t hurt nobody, keep it sexy and breathe. For information and techniques visit Remember, WATCH carefully, THINK logically, FEEL good and RESPOND accordingly because Love, Abundance and Wisdom it’s the L.A.W.

How do I do it? 1. Breathe deep. We mentioned yoga earlier. In yoga, the instructor will tell you to breathe from the abdomen, using your stomach muscles to pull air down into your body. This isn’t quite as simple as it sounds, and it takes practice, but it’s worth it – not just for sex, but for everyday life. 2. Synchronize your breathing. When you’re making love, make a conscious effort to make your breathing patterns match. While counting during sex is far from sexy, a good pattern is to inhale slowly for five seconds, hold your breath for three seconds, exhale for seven seconds and then “observe the space at the end of the breath” – that is, pause for a couple of seconds after you’ve breathed out. It is of course not realistic to maintain this pattern throughout sex, but it’s a good guideline, and by matching your breathing patterns with your partner’s, your entire bodies will be in synch too. 3. Slow down. As you feel yourself coming close to orgasm, slow your breathing and surf the sensations. Your breathing directly influences your climax and can control it very effectively; normally when you’re close to orgasm your breathing becomes faster and shorter, you might even begin to hold your breath. Recognize when this is happening and breathe slower. This alone will delay your orgasm, and result in a more satisfying climax. There we have it. Breath from your diaphragm, synchronize your breathing and slow it down when you’re close. Simple, satisfying, natural and incredibly effective.

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any of us can stand to lose just a few pounds. Don’t look

at my statement as meaning we all want to be skinny; however, we all want to be fit. Whether it’s fat in our bodies or in our minds, being great means having a fit outlook on the possibilities of life. What happens when you lose more than just the pounds? What happens when the weight of the world begins to lifts off your shoulders? Instead of dropping inches, you’re dropping fears. We think of weight loss as what you burn vs. what you eat. Emotional weight loss is how we love ourselves vs. how we love the world. As you continue this journey of mental transformation, you will also be losing a different kind of weight. Begin to lose things like insecurities, fears and doubts. These compared with pounds, inches and fat will impact your success. Are insecurities, fears and doubts the things holding you back from taking the steps to change your life? Why not lose them to achieve your dreams? Why not lose them to achieve greatness? It takes hard work to minimize your ego, live your dreams and face your fears. It will take commitment to manifest your destiny, courage to stand up for yourself and discipline to finish what you started. 26 • Upscale Desires Magazine •

Take today to 1. commitment to making the change 2. be brave in the face of your fears 3. have discipline to see things to the end



by www.thedarkp


Leave your wallet at home and don’t even think about any online impulse shopping at 3AM when you can’t sleep. You can’t afford to waste any money this month, so remain your usual practical, responsible self when it comes to Dec 22 - Jan 19 your finances. If you do that, you’ll help yourself out a lot if something unexpected comes up over the end of the month that you have to find a way to pay for.


aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18

Try not to schedule anything too important later in January, or maybe all month. It just won’t be your time, and you’ll be scrambling to figure out how to fix things if you push. Review, revise, edit, do things over again but nothing new, and nothing that requires your total attention.

taurus Apr 20 - May 20 What do you see when you think about the future? It’s something you ask yourself over and over again this month. You want to be sure you’re going in the right direction, you’re making progress, and getting closer to achieving what you want, and you have a clear vision of your future.

virgo Aug 23 - Sep 22

You’re usually a good worker bee, and nothing can stop you from tackling your to-do list, but during the second half of January, you struggle. You have to do things over, you’re disorganized, you don’t have everything you need, or you don’t feel well and your health keeps you from getting things done.

pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20

Your dreams seem to be on the fritz this month, and you’re having nightmares that would give nightmares nightmares. They’re so intense, so vivid and lucid, and you swear sometimes that it really happened. It didn’t, so cool your jets there. But you could be sensing what’s to come in your life, so pay attention for any omens.

aries Mar 21 - Apr 19

You feel like you’re on track as the new year begins, and you focus on how things will unfold long-term. You feel good about trying new ideas that are unusual and innovative, and like being around original people. You want to rebel, but fear holds you back

gemini May 21 - Jun 20

cancer Jun 21 - Jul 22

libra Sep 23 - Oct 22


Life feels like it’s closing in on you, and you just want to run but have nowhere to run to. Sure, you’ve got a lot on your plate, and it’s overwhelming, but your bleak outlook is only making the situation worse. You’re usually so upbeat, so remind yourself to fake it ‘til you make it.

It feels like all work and no play for you in January, and you might get a little cranky because of that, but don’t let it get to you so much. You may feel out of balance from having to focus so much on work and less on personal stuff, but you have to so it’s not worse later

You start the month feeling like everything is going well, and you’re getting the help that you need, or at least know how to get it. Midmonth, your positive view changes, and you feel so far away from everyone else that you’re a tiny island in the middle of the ocean, unable to reach out or you’ll drown.

Oct 23 - Nov 21

Your emotions get the better of you later in the month, and it can come out with your family. You have fights with them over the smallest of things, and you can’t seem to get on the same page no matter how hard you try. You can have problems in your physical space as well, with things breaking, bursting, and dying out.


Jul 23 - Aug 22

You have a greater need than usual to spend time with loved ones, have close relationships with people you respect and trust, and have intimate connections. If you don’t have that, you feel lonely this month, and you work hard to find it, but you could end up frustrating yourself.

sagittarius Nov 22 - Dec 21

Watch what you say during the second half of January. You can’t seem to stop sticking both of your feet in your mouth, and your honesty isn’t cute or refreshing, it’s cruel and insensitive. You don’t like to think before you speak, but you need to start so you don’t keep hurting people.

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Upscale Desires Magazine January 2015