Longing & Distance: through gesture

L O N GING

distance

and

t h r o u g h

g e s t u r e

L O N GING

distance

and

t h r o u g h

g e s t u r e

MFA Thesis 2008 Nicole Rademacher Electronic Integrated Arts New York State College of Ceramics Alfred University

For the Rademachers and Cerons, Lawrences and Janquarts

Mom and Dad, Homero and Denise Todd, Andy, and LuĂ­s Oma and Opa, Granny and Granpa Granpa Larry and Granma Rose, Mami y Papi

The

intersection

of longing and distance as articulated

t h r o u g h familial gesture.

ETYMOLOGY

You are a perpetual tourist.

A

n observer of the lives of others.

Your brain is taking notes and working even without you

knowing. All of the information around you is new. There is nothing that can be assumed or taken for granted.

Tourist: one that makes a tour for pleasure or culture.

The physical distance of you to your ‘real’ life is significant.

Even though you are fluent in the language, there are always nuances that you may miss. There is also the distance between the

native and you, the tourist, which you feel almost instantaneously.

The native doesn’t experience this until he/she becomes aware that they are interacting with a tourist, with an observer.

one

born or reared

in

Native:

a particular place.

The distance created through travel can then be exacebrated by longing.

You may long to be a part of this new culture and society or you may long to be rid of it and back, safely nestled in your own world with your own rituals, your own familiar.

Distance:

the degree or amount of separation

between two

points, lines, surfaces, or objects.

One keeps distance from strangers, even from loved ones.

The manifestation of distance could be many things: emotional, imaginary, intentional, physical.

Distance one desires from people can be articulated through body language. Body language is subtle.

Most people are fluent in body language even without being consciously aware of their knowledge. As a tourist you may place acute attention to the body language of others. You can dissect these movements into gestures: the wave of a hand, the insolence of a face, the pat on a back. The gestures articulate the distance.

Ges

ture: movement usually of the body

or limbs that expresses or emphasizes

an idea, sentiment, or attitude.

The distance

This love and

one keeps from

desire is seen,

others can

by the one

manifest itself as

who longs, as

longing. Longing,

impossible to

as stated above, can have positive or negative attributes for the

achieve. The longing describes the distance that the one who

people/culture

longs feels. For a

upon whom it

tourist, longing

is implemented.

and distance are

Longing may

codependent on

illustrate a love and desire to be with or like someone.

one another. They are concurrent, overlapping and intersecting massively.

L o n especially

g i n g : strong desire, for

something unattainable.

Against an intensely blue wall a young girl meanders. Her image swings back and forth.

Their images swing. They almost hold hands. The color shifts. There is only a wall.

I can feel your emotion.

Can’t you take another step closer?

Your hand reaches.

A second figure, a mother enters the frame.

We zoom out.

Can’t you see how I feel? Your eyes meet mine. I see me in them. I see you in them. I see my reflection in them.

Can’t I take another step closer? Can’t you see my face? I can see yours.

My hand swings away. Yet there is something between us. We are so near, yet we cannot touch.

We are so close.

Circling blurry images of figures at the beach.

Only one family. The rolling waves are heard.

When the image shifts, the sound is sped up, thus forcing it to rise a few octaves.

Soon the image slows and attempts to focus. A mother and daughter

are seen from far away.

There is a sand castle between them.

The child picks up something and places

The castle

it on top. is complete.

One second. A family walks out of

the frame leaving only a brick wall.

One second.

The sound has been slowed

and thus rendered the words

incomprehensible.

Silence.

A mother and daughter enter the frame.

The camera watches them as they walk away.

Snippets of traffic are heard. The black

opens up to a street corner. The camera

focuses on young family caddy-corner

across the street. As the traffic almost

visually crosses the family, the video is cut,

thus the view is never obstructed.

Eventually the father and son get up

to leave, as the mother is left to

wait for the bus.

As I learn to walk, I make up a rhythm

with my steps.

'Yep.'

The camera glimpses a chubby little girl being pulled by her mother.

The action continually repeats at different speeds, in black and white.

It begins with a very intimate view of a mother

The train begins to move.

and daughter. They adjust to make themselves

As the train gains momentum, the video responds.

comfortable for the train ride.

The mother engages with the viewer, the camera.

When she decides that it poses no threat, she looks away. The video responds.

As the mother and daughter walk on the windy beach, their steps seem to repeat each other. The pair is walking in circles.

They walk in and out of the frame, never making any headway, but their hands never part. The mother holds on tight.

The daughter tries hard to keep her oversized sunglasses from falling off.

Never letting go.

She is on the phone. She walks towards the water and yells to him.

The color is altered so as to show that they belong to one another. He comes in, walking heavily as one has to in order to go against the tide.

He loses his balance. A twist and he is on his feet again.

The camera closes in as he comes closer.

Soon he looks up at her, the female adult figure.

She stares at the camera, a little girl. Her fingers hang in her mouth.

She stares at the camera.

Soft, melodic, banal music is heard. The movement is slow.

She stares at the camera.

The arm behind her begins to move.

Fade to black.

The camera watches an adolescent girl from above. She is waiting.

She taps on the pole. She looks up. Does she see us?

The tapping movement is larger. She looks away.

From black we simultaneously fade and zoom into

a young girl. She is very aware of the camera and

not sure what to make of it. She is offset by the

primary colors of containers behind her.

The camera slides her almost out of frame, only

her hand on her hip and her dark right eye remain

in the frame – just for a second. The camera

swings back to full view. She almost smiles, as her

uncertainty of the camera grows. Hands on her

hips and bouncing down to her legs as ghosted

images of the arm movement trail. Fade to black.

Fade back in to the last shot. No trails

only uncomfortable hands bouncing at her side.

We watch a father and son paint the gate on their house. Cars speed by. Buses go past. People walk by.

The son pretends to assist his father. Horns are heard honking. Dishes are heard clanking.

We watch the son entertain himself with a broom. We watch the son get bored and go inside.

She waits with her father crouched down, holding on to her tight. It is a busy street corner;

he needs to protect her. He notices the camera.

There is a questioning look in his eye. He looks away. She looks over.

She sees no threat and looks away.

There is a man crouched on a street corner.

People seem to be passing quite quickly. He speaks, but you don’t hear anything. Suddenly you hear it, a call to someone and a small girl bounces into the frame. She coughs three times. She bounces.

A woman’s voice is heard.

A woman enters the frame.

The man does not take the woman’s hand, yet he extends his hand for the little girl to take.

One, two, three - I wait for you. Jump jump jump. I see you.

She doesn’t want to.

The girl leaves the frame.

The video slows down.

Both the man and woman

Where did you go? Come now with us. Where are you going?

reach for the girl as they

Give me your hand.

begin to cross the street.

The girl follows, but veers into the street as she tries to evade taking the man’s hand. Eventually he succeeds. The video returns to real-time.

They exit the frame.

A mother and daughter are out food shopping. The daughter is pointing at something. Her

are slowed down. The colors become more intense. The mother pulls her hand away from her

mother pulls her away. They walk farther down the street. The camera trails them. Their movements

daughter to adjust her purse. The video speeds up to real-time. Are they holding hands?

No. Not now. We have to finish before the shops close.

Come this way with me.

I let go. Continue telling me about your morning.

I am in Daddy's arms.

I can see much more from up here. I can see all the action behind me.

I do not worry up here.

He will hold me.

I will hold on tight.

A father looks both ways as he holds his daughter to his chest. The traffic is loud and interrupts any sense of serenity with the father and daughter. The editing cuts through the scene seemingly repeating what we have already seen, thereby confusing the viewer’s sense of time or linear diegesis. As the camera follows the pair, the video image is slowed down. As the pair enters into a shadow, the video fades to black.

A rather violent seven seconds of seemingly out of order images of a girl and her father.

It isn’t clear if anything has happened.

But what remains is a feeling of violent disjointedness.

I am with daddy. I am shopping. Even though it is Christmas, he bought things for me. I am following him, but he doesn't hold my hand. I am a big girl.

I can carry my own shopping bags and and walk by myself. Doesn’t matter, he is unaware anyhow.

But we both carry our bags in our left hands.

Run. Run faster. Run faster. We will make

it before them. Did I beat you? Did you

beat me? Are they coming? Run. Run. Run,

mom! Can’t you guys walk any faster?

We will wait for you here,

but run, run faster!!

They quickly dash across the street. As the traffic light changes, the video slows down.

As the cars shift gears, the girls' respective families catch up and speedily finish crossing the street.

Fade to black.

The image is layered and sped up so, that it is hard to discern what is happening. It slows to real-time and the layers become one. A toddler and an adolescent in their bathing suits of a similar shade of blue switch places: one leaves the frame as the other enters.

Mom and I went to get some ice cream for

you. What do you have there? Let me see it.

I will crouch down to check it out as mom The blur focuses on a mother and son arriving at their spot on the beach after hands you your treat. As mom hands you your

having bought ice cream. The camera movement jolts the viewer. As the mother treat. As mom hands you your treat. As mom

hands you your treat. As mom hands you hands a child off screen an ice cream, a frame is captured and repeated, color is

your treat. shifted, fade to black.

I give you this because you are my sister.

I made this for you.

You cannot make your own because you are too young, so I am helping you.

Even though we do not look at each other, we know that the other is there.

I will pat you on your shoulder.

I want to pat you on your shoulder.

Ever so slowly he hands her

I want to give you a pat of encouragement.

I want to help you.

a plastic bottle filled with wet sand. As the loud crashing of the ocean fades out, his motion to pat her on her shoulder is stopped and repeated. Stopped and repeated.

You are my sister.

A loud intro in ordinary color shifts to strange and surreal colors. A vague almost rhythmic sound is felt

before it is heard. The child moves ever so slightly. The child swings ever so subtly. The color shifts back Come with me! Let's cross the street. Let’s have a race. Today it is Sunday and I want to enjoy my time with you! and Don’t the let girl go loudly of exits me the now! frame.

His legs seem too

to stand as he holds a treat in his left hand.

As he tries to find better footing he chomps on his treat.

unsteady for him

The camera focuses on a little boy in sandy diapers. He struggles to keep his footing. As he stumbles

He is frozen for a second,

and falls, a harsh electronic sound is heard.

maybe two.

Eventually he makes it to the family blanket on the beach.

A silhouette of a beach town. A girl runs to the water. Only primary colors are allowed

to break through the harsh shadows of the silhouette. The figures move as if reality

is frame by frame. As one silhouetted girl leaves the frame another enters. At once a

heavy slowed voice is heard, yet it is imperceptible what has been said.

Jump-cut to black.

I will watch and wait. Watch and wait.

I will sift the sand through my hands. Through my fingers.

I will wait until you approach and then I fling it at you!

The sand.

Because that is our game.

Zoom-out and fade in. The calls of people selling ice cream on the beach get louder. There is a young girl in the lower left-hand corner. In the center a woman shakes out her towel. The videos speeds up and slows down almost randomly. This creates a sense of anticipation. The eagerness for action is increased as voices are heard and no one is seen talking. Finally the long wait pays off. The sister of the girl who has been sifting sand patiently in that lower left-hand corner enters the frame running.

She throws the sand at her sister as she runs by.

The older sister falls back carrying the momentum she used to toss the sand. Quick fade to black.

One, two, three - GO!

The children run into the frame.

They freeze in mid-step.

They continue. They are stopped again. The lady, center in the frame, watches the children as they race past.

A speedy jerk into the video. It slows to real-time as the girl falls in the sand.

The camera falls away from her figure.

Step.

Step.

Step.

Step.

Scoop.

Fade in to a blur. The slight plodding of feet

through wet sand is heard. The image slows

on a blurred hand as it swings to find its

owner’s side. It leaves the frame. Glistening sand is imagined. Zoom out and glistening

sand is realized. A girl challenges the tide to get her. As it approaches she runs away.

The tide washes away the image to black.

She wears red shorts and her son is in red swimming trunks. The ocean is loud.

The son splashes the water that came in with the wave. He is content.

He preps for the coming wave. He backs into an older boy who guides him away.

He fades into the passing couple he does not know.

We hear a helicopter come in. We see a wave come in. The children step back with the coming wave. The girls

are silhouetted.

Fade to black.

You are bigger than me.

You are my brother.

A young boy seems to be falling

on his brother, but the reach for

I will challenge you, my older brother. footing turns into a push that I will push you. turn violent. They disappear.

I will try to knock you down.

A long shot of beach. A father is heard calling to his

daughter, who runs towards the camera. She responds

to his call. As she turns and turns again her response is

repeated.

She seems to

fall away as

she leaves the frame.

The mother enters holding her

of him pointing. As the two realities

toddler's hand. He stops, the child.

meet, the image becomes one again.

He points. He points towards the

The pair slide back to the sea.

sea. An image of the child looking at the camera, looking at the viewer, is layered over the frozen image

The two siblings play in the sand.

The younger brother accidently

imitating his older sister's actions.

Accidently following her lead.

Zoom in. Fade in. Close up of a young mother and her infant son. She bounces him

on her lap. Her attention is diverted and she slowly turns towards the camera, yet

never

makes eye contact. Almost. Quickly she turn in the opposite direction,

then focuses her attention back on her son.

The sound

stutters as

the sister

reaches

for her

brother's

hand. She

guides him

away.

Though silent, the words uttered by the young boy to his mother, who can only be seen by the back of her head, can just be heard. He explains his thoughts as she wipes the snot dripping from his nose.

The wave comes in slowly and

crashes as two young boys await

its approach. The one crouches,

crouches, crouches

to play in the shallow water.

The other tries

to hurdle the in-coming wave.

I will direct the sea with the motions of my body.

I will tell the tide when to come in.

I will freeze the wave.

I will slow the wave.

I control the water.

The granddaughter

seems to mimic

her grandmother's actions.

Both are unaware that they

are imitating one another.

The child crawls across her mother's lap. The mother is not properly dressed for a beach outing.

As the mother pulls the child to stand on her own, a mechanical repetitious sound is heard. The daughter holds tight to her mother's shirt for support.

The child stumbles back to her mother's lap, not quite ready to stand on her own.

Fade to black.

The slap is seen and

not heard. The boy's

insolent face is seen.

The slap repeats and the

colors are brightened.

The slap is heard.

The boy is frozen with

his insolent face.

The small child is alone on a mountain. She is in her own world. She comes back to this world and looks for her parents. 'Papi, Papi, Papi' she says.

'Papi, Papi, Papi', she repeats.

Two adults come over to her.

The camera zooms out and the exposure shifts so that the mountain glistens in the mid-day sun.

A mountain landscape.

A windy day.

The camera closes in on a toddler.

It seems hard for her to hold her balance in the blustery wind.

A woman appears and disappears.

The toddler remains alone.

Everyone is looking for their luggage under the bus.

The little boy wants to help his father look for theirs. He watches the people pass him by. His watchful glance is frozen. Once his hand and his fathers slip away from one another, so does the frozen glance.

The little boy wanders out of the frame. The camera follows. He picks up something from the ground

and wanders back to his original position.

The boy plays silently with his toy car as he waits for his parents.

The shadow is so harsh.

It must be midday.

The sisters walk backwards each to a crouching and hiding position in the sand.

Suddenly, as the video fades to black, one is flung backwards into the air.

Who is chasing whom?

As the sisters chase one another on the beach

the camera tries to keep up.

The father scoops up his son as his wife gathers their belongings. The video is slowed, but the movement is still too short to digest.

Click. Click. Mmmmm. I'll hide. Pop! 'Peek-a-boo!'

Bet you can't see me now! Now you can!

I'll run away so that you can't!

I can fix this myself.

See! All better!

I'll take a picture of myself.

Oh. You want to help me down?

All right.

The scene behind the young girl seems to be frozen in time. She itches her forehead.

Her hand moves back and forth. When it finds the right spot, the entire image is activates, and the wave comes in to shore.

A SUPER SPECIAL THANK YOU TO VICTORIA BRADBURY & BRETT HANSEN FOR THEIR VIDEO INPUT OLIVIA GETKOWSKI, WOODY PACKARD, & JONATHAN VILLEGAS FOR DESIGN INPUT OLIVIA GETKOWSKI & THOMAS SHIM FOR THEIR CARD DESIGNS MY THESIS COMMITTEE WILLIAM CONTINO, ANDREW DEUTSCH, & BARBARA LATTANZI THESIS CLASS PROFESSOR MICHELLE LOCKWOOD

COPYRIGHT 2008 NICOLE RADEMACHER WWW.NICOLERADEMACHER.COM

LONGING and distance Rademacher, Nicole