East Yorkshire Bride Guide 2022 by Nic Gough

Cover Photograph: Elizabeth Hall Bridal, Beverley

EAST YORKSHIRE BRIDE GUIDE 2022

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You’re Engaged… Now What? You’re engaged and have enjoyed endless glasses of champagne with your nearest and dearest… but now what? When it comes to planning a wedding there’s a lot to think about. To help you kickstart the process, we spoke to two wedding planners to find out what they would prioritise.

Set The Budget Kristina Templeman, creative director and owner of KT Weddings says: “First and foremost you need a realistic and honest idea of budget. The entire wedding will be shaped around this number, so it’s important you talk about the parts of the wedding that are of most importance to you and the amount you are willing to spend. If you are getting help financially from family members, then it’s time to have a frank conversation so you know exactly where you stand.” Nic Gough, managing director at wedding and events company Dalton Spire Events adds: “It’s a big mistake is leaving this important discussion until later in the planning process, when it’s too late to turn back. You can’t book a venue, agree on a guest

list or book suppliers before you know exactly what you are comfortable spending, and you both agree where the money is coming from. Next, make a list of the most important elements of the day. Is it the food/band/dress? Often, couples don’t discuss this and then discover that they are far from being on the same page.” Nail The Guest List “Sit down and make sure you have a very clear picture of how your guest list looks”, says Kristina. “If you aren’t the ones fully paying, then speak to family members so you have a pretty accurate list. Late surprises for added guests will only add to your stress levels. It’s best to be clear from

the outset who has or hasn’t made the cut, plus you need to decide if you are having both day and evening guests.” Without a realistic number of guests, you can’t book a venue, adds Nic. “The last thing you want to do is pay a deposit on your dream venue and capacity won’t allow for all your guests.” Set The Date “An ideal date or at least the month is needed before you even start looking at venues,” says Kristina. “If you love the idea of having a certain flower or dream of a summer wedding, you need to have this in mind when selecting your wedding date.” The date might be one of the first things you consider, agrees Nic. “That said, given everything we’ve been through in the past year, the date has to be somewhat flexible. You’ll want to discuss this with key family members and friends to ensure they have that date, abnd maybe a couple of others, free.” Choose The Venue “Whether it’s a palace, castle or private estate, there’s an

endless choice out there and starting with an idea of where you want to marry will help to narrow the search. With the pandemic forcing a lot of couples to move their weddings, and with dates already limited, try get your venue booked as soon as you can to give you peace of mind,” says Kristina. Nic adds: “Remember that if the venue is the most important detail for you, you might need to accept you may have to adapt your guest list to space.” Don’t forget that marquees, tipis, and pretty outdoor spaces are all options and may be a more flexible choice if you’re worried about last-minute changes. Book The Caterer “Catering, and things like technical production (lighting, staging, sound, etc) can take up a large part of your budget. Get some initial quotes in order to see where your budget stands. Once you have a venue and an idea of the style you want to create, then book these suppliers… they can assist in shaping the whole look and feel for a perfect day,” says Nic. “Catering can make or break a wedding, as can bad service, so as soon as you have the venue booked and an idea on design, reach out to some caterers. You don’t need to have a menu confirmed but see what they offer and the service they can provide. Think about whether they go that extra mile for their clients and want to create an amazing guest experience. Plus, it might be worth finding out if they have bespoke uniforms that are smart and show off their level

quick one, or it may take you some time to find something perfect for you. Either way, you don’t want to be rushed or stressed.”

of expertise,” says Kristina. Get Wedding Insurance “This is a must have for any wedding – regardless of budget – so you know you are covered should anything happen,” advises Kristina. With ever-changing lockdown rules during 2020, and possibly into 2021, wedding insurance is an absolute necessity.

“You can’t book a venue, agree on a guest list or book suppliers before you know exactly what you are comfortable spending, and you both agree where the money is coming from” Order The Dress “Consider how much time there is between your engagement and your wedding date, as this will determine what you focus on next,” advises Nic. “For the dress purchase, to be safe, give yourself at least six to ten months. You may have a clear idea of what you want, and the process will be a simple and 6

Kristina concurs: “The crown jewel for any wedding is a dreamy gown (or even gowns, plural). Wedding dresses can take anywhere up to six months or longer to produce, so give yourself plenty of time, and still allow for alterations if it’s not a custom-made piece. Feel out your style and try on different gowns to see what suits you best.” Decide On The Wedding Party “If there is a family member or a best friend you want in your party, then make sure you give them as much notice as possible as regards a date. Also, remember there are no rules… you don’t have to have the same number of bridesmaids as groomsmen,” advises Nic. Choose Your Floral Design & Décor “A show-stopping wedding demands impactful flowers and design,” says Kristina. “Create different key moments. Start with the ceremony, leading through to your drinks reception. A wow moment is always when guests enter to take their seats for dinner,

so redirect your focus here if you are on a limited budget. Staging bars, sound, and lighting are all part of the experience – they will elevate any day and take it to the next level.” “Think about what you don’t want as well as what you do want – it’s sometimes easier to narrow things down that way. Chair linens and table accents should all be cohesive with the final wedding design. And have fun – show your personality. The most successful weddings are where the couple express something about themselves rather than trying to be something they’re not.” Think About Photography & Videography “Often, couples might have a clear idea of the photographer they want, so if you are getting married at a popular time of year, you may want to check the date with them as soon as you have it confirmed,” advises Nic. “Video tends to come later, but this is just as important and well worth the investment. Consider their style, ask to see any work they may have done at your venue or destination, as this will give you a good idea of what they can produce. As with all vendors, try to meet them in person.” “The one thing you will have long after the wedding are your photographs. These will be cherished memories of your special day, so choose wisely. Pick your photographer based on their talent and level of acclaim – this is not an area couples should ever scrimp on. Instagram is a good way

to see their work and how they interact with clients,” says Kristina. “A wedding video also helps to capture a moment in time. You will be able to rewatch your vows and speeches and share it with those who may have been unable to attend.” Order Your Cake “In my view, bigger is better when it comes to wedding cakes,” says Kristina. “Guests will gather to see you cut your cake, so give them something worth looking at. Consider confetti cannons, fireworks or maybe even a hidden pudding room hosting your show-stopping cake. Gone are the days of traditional cakes – anything goes these days. Different tiers of flavour to appeal to all of your guests will make a wedding cake a success.” Book A Planner “I saved this tip for last as I am biased,” says Nic. “But if you have the budget for a planner, then I highly recommend you hire one from the very start. It’s important to do your research and understand the services they provide and 8

their fee structure… they’re not all the same. Meet the planner in person, as you want to be able to trust they are going to be able to design and coordinate things expertly for you. It’s a very personal relationship, but first and foremost remember this is a business contract. A planner can really take away a lot of pressure from you, keep you on track, and help you spend your budget wisely. If you are considering a destination wedding, then I absolutely recommend you hire one. It will be well worth the investment.” “If a pandemic has taught us anything this year, it is how much life can change in the blink of an eye,” says Kristina. “Wedding planners are worth their weight in gold – not only from a logistical and style point of view, but with so much uncertainty around weddings, having a planner on your side to guide you and possibly help you move dates, means they really are worth every penny. They will also have longstanding relationships with suppliers they trust. No one needs to take risks with one of their most important days.”

The Dos & Don’ts Of Seating Plans If you’re sitting down to eat, choosing where to seat your guests is a decision often riddled with anxiety – not least because of the inevitable family politics involved. To take the stress out of it, we asked two experienced wedding planners to share their dos and don’ts. DO have a plan of some kind “You should definitely think about having assigned seating, especially if you have a large wedding – either way you look at it, a seating plan is essential for logistics,” says Jane Gough, director and principal planner at Dalton Spire Events. “Your caterers will also rely on the seating plan to help them identify those guests with dietary requirements. Having a plan also reduces the amount

of time guests spend milling around looking for their seat, and it ensures most people are seated with someone they know or will get along with.” DON’T just assign the tables and forget the seats “For a small or micro wedding this could be quite fun and means people can sit themselves where they like,” says Jane, “But only for a wedding of less than 30 people – it will be easy enough for your planner or caterer to identify any specialrequirement guests at a party of this size. For a larger event, it would be too confusing.” DO seat couples together “There’s not really a case for splitting up partners at a wedding,” says Jane. “From a guest-experience point of view, you want people to be comfortable, and some prefer to have their partner with them if they aren’t natural extroverts.”

Polly Coulter, creative director of Lucid Events, agrees: “As much as you want to encourage your friends and family to chat and have a good time, it’s not a networking event – people will want to be seated relatively near to the person they came with.” DON’T have a singles’ table “It will make sense to group some people together – university friends, distant family, colleagues – but there will always be stragglers,” says Polly. “Resist the urge to put all the odd people onto one table unless you have to. Instead, try to fit a few people in with other groups who you think they might get along with. Your neighbour couple might have the perfect sense of humour for work friends, your cousin and his wife could have a lot in common with some of your friends from school.” Jane agrees: “There is a case to be made for seating those without plus ones together

to avoid couples and family members having to talk around them, but it’s a little out-dated, as if you are banishing single people to a dark corner.” DO think of the children “If you’re inviting children to your wedding, depending on their ages, you might decide to seat them all together. Give them their own menu and some table games to keep them entertained,” says Polly. “Just make sure parents are aware of the plan in advance.” DON’T bend over backwards “Be careful how much you listen to other people take on their individual concerns,” explains Polly. “Especially when it comes to extended families or warring ex-partners. Be amenable and considerate, to an extent, but if you find yourself bending over backwards for a handful of difficult people, you’re not outside your rights to lay down the law.” DO consider a sweetheart table “Sweetheart tables (where the couple have their own private table) are actually a wonderful way for a couple to enjoy their reception together,” says Jane. “They offer some much-needed intimacy for newlyweds to eat and talk to each other when the rest of the day is spent talking to other people, too.” DON’T force different groups of friends to mix “If your friendship groups have met before and got along, then there’s no harm in mixing the groups,” says Jane. “But it’s

still safest to seat those who know each other well next to each other to ensure a positive guest experience. Also, remember the art of hosting a great party is who is on your guestlist. Having some social butterflies who are comfortable talking to anyone, and can include who may be a bit shy, is a great strategy to ensure everyone has a positive experience.” DO consider the shape of your tables “Be aware of table sizes when you’re drawing up a seating plan,” advises Polly. “A 6ft round table can comfortably seat 10, maybe 12 at a push. Meanwhile, a rectangle trestle table will seat three each side, and one on each of the ends. Make sure you’re giving people elbow room.” “Round tables have always been popular because they ensure guests have a view of everyone sitting there. The banquet table is increasingly popular, too. Although they have more people down the length of each side, you can speak to those next to you and in front of you, creating quite an intimate bubble,” adds Jane. DON’T openly number your tables “Sure, numbers are easier and more logical, but they can also indicate a hierarchy. Names require a bit more thought and creativity, but they eliminate any questions around importance,” advises Polly. DO be considerate of older guests “You may not think it matters, but consider who is on the 12

table,” says Polly. “If you have any older guests or those with disabilities, make sure they are facing where you’re sitting. When it comes to speeches you won’t want them to be straining their necks for long periods of time.” “Also don’t forget those who are less mobile,” adds Jane, “They should always have adequate room to manoeuvre if they have a wheelchair or cane. Always seat them towards the end of a banquet table so they don’t have to shuffle between seats, and as close to the exits as possible so they don’t have to travel to far to the bar or the bathroom.” DON’T think there has to be a top table “The head table can be one of the trickiest parts of the seating plan,” says Polly. “Even more so if you have a slightly complicated set up – parents who aren’t together, are with other partners, or if you have a large bridal party. Remember, your head table can be as big or as small as you want. A long, double-sided table works for big wedding parties. Or be diplomatic and sit with your parents, your best man and your maid of honour only.” “A head table is definitely a tradition you can ditch if you prefer,” adds Jane. “The bridal party (maids and groomsmen) can sit among family and friends, and the idea of seating parents together is lovely. In some cultures, the parents don’t meet or spend time with each other very much prior to the wedding, so this might be an opportunity for them to do so.”

Bridesmaids Dresses: The Dos & Don’ts Gone are the days when bridesmaids were expected to wear matching dresses, regardless of their shape or size. These days, brides are throwing the rule book out the window – even if that makes it all the harder to know what is and isn’t going to look right. To help, here are some of our main dos and don’ts…… DO Ignore Tradition Like we said, there’s no more status quo in the world of bridesmaid dresses. So don’t feel confined to stick to the obvious styles or brands. Go for different lengths, colours, finishes – as long as there’s something cohesive to tie them together, you’ll be fine.

DON’T Choose For Your Friends This doesn’t mean relinquishing control altogether, but the best dressed bridesmaids are the happy ones. Put together a mood board of the look and feel you want, and send it to your friends, along with examples of things you love and things you don’t. Then, let them come to you with suggestions, before working together on the final choice. DO Pick A Theme This could be pink, or sequined, or short – just choose one element to tie everything together. This is particularly important with multiple bridesmaids – any less than five, and the impact of mismatched styles won’t be as strong. DON’T Feel Obliged To Pay There’s no obligation for you to pay for your bridesmaids’

dresses – but that does mean you can’t mandate what they spend, or even what they choose. If you’re not going to pay, be prepared for them to dress to their budget, and it’s important to be respectful of what they can and can’t afford. Alterations tend to cost more, too, so factor that in. DO Shop Around Great bridesmaids’ dresses are no longer the reserve of specialist brands – from Reformation to Uterque, there are endless appropriate styles to be found on the high street. DON’T Neglect The Details From the shoes to the earrings to the hair, you’d be disappointed to find one of your friends show up on your big day sporting something you hate. Have a checklist in advance, and tactfully make sure you know exactly what they’re going for to avoid any surprises.

How To Organise A Stress-Free Hen Do Hen dos always sound like fun, but actually organizing one can instantly take away the fun factor. So, how can you ensure the event you’re planning runs smoothly and pleases the bride as well as everyone else? We’ve asked two experts for their top tips… Being asked to be a bridesmaid at your best friend’s wedding is a huge honour – you get to play a special part in her big day and watch someone you care deeply about marry the person they love. But, as a bridesmaid, the chances are you’ll also have an integral role to play in arranging the hen do – something which can strike fear into even the most organised of people. With so much pressure to get it right, tensions can run high and you may find it’s not easy to come to a consensus with the other planners – and the larger hen party group in general. “Arranging a hen do can fracture or break even the best of long-standing friendships,” says life coach Jo Hornby. “There’s a great weight of expectation around an event like this and unfortunately sometimes things don’t run quite as smoothly as you’d wish for.” Don’t despair, though - there are plenty of simple ways that you can minimise

disagreements and plan the best weekend of your friend’s life. Get Organised Early It sounds obvious, but the best thing you can do to ensure an event like this runs smoothly is begin organising early. “The sooner you start planning and booking, the better your options will be,” explains Rob Moran a group activity and travel organiser. “This way, you’ll have the pick of the best accommodation and the best time slots for activities - you don’t want your ‘afternoon’ tea served at 11am because you booked it too late, after all!” Booking early also means that hens can save up for the event over a longer period of time – something they’re bound to thank you for. TOP TIP: Arrange a meeting with the other bridesmaids as soon as possible and start sharing your ideas with one another. If you’re spread across the country, set up a Whatsapp group or try to organise a group call. 16

Keep The Bride Involved Although it’s common nowadays for bridesmaids to arrange a secret getaway for the bride-to-be and only reveal plans last minute, Jo suggests ignoring this. “If you’re in charge of organising, don’t forget to keep the bride involved – frequently, plans get made in secret and the poor bride faces a hen-do that she is dreading but doesn’t dare speak out about,” she says. By talking your ideas through with her you can be certain that she’ll like what you have planned – and knowing you have her backing is a good way to silence other guests that think they have better ideas. If the bride has said she’d specifically like a surprise, ask her for some ideas of what she would and wouldn’t like so you have a reference point with which to start. TOP TIP: Keep the bride in mind at all times. Remember you’re organising a weekend that she would enjoy, not necessarily you.

Communicate With All The Hens Communication is key to a successful hen party. And, if there’s a group of you organising the event, it’s a good idea to choose someone to lead the pack. “Get one person to communicate to all the hen do guests at the same time,” Jo advises, adding that it’s important to be clear about what you’re expecting

from them and when. “Give the other hens deadlines for replies and tell them exactly what the costs will be upfront.” Make the most of online tools such as a Doodle Poll, which allows you to find a convenient date easily and quickly. Pick your communication methods wisely too. While many people use Whatsapp to chat as a group, you may find it easier to share all the necessary information via email. TOP TIP: Make sure all the organisers agree on things as a group before talking to and arranging things with the other guests. It’s important to show a united front at all times. Be Firm With Your Decisions It can be daunting to think that so many of the decisions about the event rest with

you and the other planners – but, as tempting as it may be, try to avoid asking all the other hen do guests for their suggestions. “Don’t allow too much consensus or you’ll never get anywhere,” Rob advises. “Pick a date and a destination, set a reasonable budget and let people opt in or out. Opening things up to discussion will make your life so stressful, as people often disagree. So, less choice means less stress!” Jo agrees. “Be firm – you’re not there to persuade people to come along, nor negotiate when others want their own way,” she says. “Remember, attendance is not compulsory – don’t be afraid to let stragglers fall by the wayside.” Saying this, it is a good idea to have a few different options available for guests with different budgets. “Lots of

people actually have two hen parties - the big one, often a few nights overseas in Portugal or Spain, and another smaller one in the UK, usually just for one night,” Rob says. You should also allow guests to opt in or opt out of different activities, so they can save money if they need to. TOP TIP: Have a clear vision of the hen do in your mind, but be considerate of the other guests’ budgets and availability. Stay Calm Tensions can run high when it comes to hen dos. And whether it’s disagreements between the organisers, or snide comments from other hens during the actual event, little niggles like this can ruin the hen do for the bride. “Ask people to be mindful of other’s opinions and ideas but when arguments and disagreements are occurring, then remind all parties that compromise is key,” Jo suggests. “Keep situations calm – if someone is raising their voice to you, you will be more likely to diffuse a situation by keeping calm and not shouting back. Give all a fair chance to be heard, without interrupting. Bear in mind that often you don’t know the full

story behind a conversation and don’t make assumptions or prejudge.” TOP TIP: If problems arise, remind all the guests the reason for the hen do and ask them to consider how the bride-to-be will be feeling if she knows there are disagreements. Choose The Right Accommodation If you’re arranging a mini staycation, accommodation is key for setting the mood of the hen do. “Where you stay matters as it sets the tone for the whole weekend,” Rob says. “Yes, you might be on a budget, but that doesn’t mean you have to slum it.” Today, hiring a large house to stay in for a few nights is a popular choice as it allows all party members to mingle together and gives you a base where you can relax. When looking for a location for the hen do, be aware of any events taking place nearby on the dates you’re looking at – this can drive prices up and make beds hard to find. TOP TIP: Check out accommodation on Airbnb where you can find stylish houses that sleep a large number of guests. 20

Get The Balance Right There’s a careful balance to find between rushing around from one activity to another or not having enough to do. “Try to build your itinerary carefully - you don’t want too much to do, but you don’t want to be too idle,” Rob advises. “Be aware that your activities may be spread geographically - so you’ll need to arrange transfers and allow enough time to get to and fro. Depending on your accommodation you may be able to get your activity providers to come to you, which can be a lot more relaxing for the group and eliminates transfer times and costs.” TOP TIP: Find out what your hotel or Airbnb will allow you to do on site and make sure all your activities aren’t miles away from each other, or your base. Pre-Book As Much As Possible As hen dos tend to involve big groups of people, the more you can pre-book the better – and this is certainly the case with meals out. “Let the restaurant know you’re a large group and they’ll be able to send you a menu in advance, let you preorder and often even pre-pay,” Rob says. “This saves loads of hassle on the night, and you won’t end up arguing over who owes what.” TOP TIP: If you have preordered and pre-paid at a restaurant, it’s a good idea to print off a record of what everyone has ordered and take it with you on the night. The chances are no-one will remember what they chose. Quite simple, be organised.

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The Best Honeymoon Destinations The destination you end up choosing for your honeymoon will, naturally, be impacted by the time of year you go. But whether it’s winter or summer sun you’re after, we asked a local travel specialist to share their knowledge of the destinations you should consider for the holiday of a lifetime.

Bora Bora A beautiful, romantic island getaway, Bora Bora is tucked away close to Tahiti. Palm trees line the beaches, and little ‘bungalows’ for couples peek out over the water. See even more on a helicopter ride over the island. Many resorts and hotels give you the option to book photo sessions, spa treatments and special mealtimes for two. As well as soaking up the sun on the stunning white sand beach of Matira Beach, fit in some romantic adventures including safari and parasailing. The best time to visit Bora Bora is from May to October during the dry season, but for a quieter trip, aim to visit during the tail ends of this timeframe. Bali The quiet and relaxing atmosphere on Bali helps you feel as if you’ve really escaped together. It’s a fashionable, stylish destination that’ll earn the envy of all your friends. Enjoy a little privacy on the pristine stretches of sand.

Bora Bora

On days when you feel like exploring, visit Bali’s coral reefs, rice paddies or safari and marine park. By night experience the sunset at Uluwatu Temple followed by cocktails at the famous Potato Head Beach Club. The best time to visit Bali is just before or just after the high season, for both dry weather and fewer crowds. If you can visit Bali in April, May or September. Maldives This dream destination makes picture-perfect honeymoons a reality. Head for secluded beaches with sand as white as a wedding dress – and you’ll find ‘something blue’ in the miles of turquoise ocean. Each island in the Maldives is a jewel in the Indian Ocean. Dip a toe in the water

Bali

Maldives

outdoors, or bathe inside at a spa resort. As one of the world’s long-standing ultimate honeymoon destinations, there’s no shortage of romantic adventures to be had on the Maldives. From couples diving and snorkelling activities to luxury boat trips and underwater couples’ massage, every day is a new one on this archipelago. The best time to visit the Maldives is between November and April.

consistently popular. As an alternative to relaxing on the beach, you and your sweetheart can head out on safari. The country’s national parks and game reserves are where you can spot zebras, lions and elephants on a once-in-a-lifetime trip. Another romantic option is to take to the skies in a hot air balloon at sunset.

Seychelles

Mauritius Mauritius is the perfect honeymoon destination for couples that are seeking a tranquil escape. By day take a rum-tasting tour or a catamaran cruise and start the evening with a sunset beach ride on horseback followed by a romantic dinner on the beach. Most Mauritius hotels offer ‘honeymoon special’ rates and packages for couples. The island’s exotic atmosphere draws from its rich culture and history. It’s also the place to enjoy winter sun, as the weather is hot and sunny all year round. The 18th-century botanical gardens and swaying palms make a beautiful backdrop to holiday photos. Seychelles The unspoilt feel of the Seychelles keeps the islands near the top of the list for honeymoon destinations. It’s a little taste of paradise, with more than 100 islands to discover. Mahe is the largest and busiest, and is lively and full of things to see and do. More hotel resorts and private getaways can be found on Praslin. There are countless luxury couple activities

For a beach holiday or city break to Nairobi you can visit Kenya any time of year, but for those hoping to enjoy a safari it’s best to go in dry season from June to October. For an unforgettable honeymoon incorporate a stargazing experience into your stay. Mauritius

for honeymooners on the Seychelles, including yacht trips, helicopter rides, candlelit beach suppers, couples’ massages and stargazing trips. The perfect time to visit this stunning archipelago is either April to May or October to November, avoiding the hottest weather, the windiest weather, and the summer crowds. Kenya For a luxury honeymoon or more active trip, Kenya’s

Kenya

Venice When you think of romance, you think of Venice. It caters to everyone, with hotels and restaurants ranging from budget to boutique. There’s something about the city’s waterways, gondolas and atmosphere that inspires love in all who visit. Hop over to Murano in a water taxi to see the island’s world-famous glass-blowing and pick up a honeymoon memento. There’s loads of romantic dining options in Venice with plenty of waterside restaurants. Be sure to take your perfect

looking to experience local culture and authentic Mexican cuisine will find a good choice of luxury accommodation at San Miguel de Allende, Oaxaca or Puebla. The ideal time to visit Mexico is from December to April when the weather is warm and dry. Venice

honeymoon photo on the famous Rialto Bridge. If it works with your wedding dates, ideally head to Venice just out of season in Spring or Autumn to avoid the crowds. Those looking for a budget-friendly honeymoon destination will find that Venice is the perfect answer.

Mexico

Mexico Mexico is becoming more popualr with those looking for more unusual and exciting honeymoon places. Those seeking a tranquil honeymoon experience should consider the luxury resorts of Acapulco, Guadalajara and the more exclusive parts of Cancun, where adult-only hotels, top-class facilities and fine dining are in abundance. Those looking for romantic adventures and a spot of adrenaline may favour Los Cabos or Veracruz. Couples

New Zealand From the jaw-dropping landscapes of the South Island where fjords, glaciers and mountains lie, to the rich cultural heritage and cosmopolitan city of Auckland in the North Island, New Zealand is more than just a two-week honeymoon trip, it’s a once in a lifetime holiday. It’s worth waiting until the right time to go, even if that means not going straight after the wedding, so you have the time to explore it full. Perfect for honeymooners looking for everything including adventure, activities, wine tasting and a touch of seclusion, which is always easy to find in New Zealand. Ideally, head to New Zealand during the country’s summer, which is in November to February.

want to lounge on the beach or take historic tours, you can do it all in Greece. Top islands for honeymooners include Santorini, known for its luxury accommodation, clifftop restaurants and world-famous sunsets whilst those looking for a luxury spa-based honeymoon in unspoilt surroundings should opt for Naxos. If you want it all however, choose Crete, one of the largest islands, a place bursting with history, mountain scenery, culture, fine wine, seafood restaurants and beautiful beaches. Greece enjoys hot summers and mild winters. If you choose one of the more luxurious resorts there’s no reason not to go in June-August, although you will find cheaper prices and fewer crowds in April-June or September-October. Greece

Greece With over 6000 islands to choose from, whether you

New Zealand

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows: The Dos & Don’ts Exchanging your vows is one of the most sacrosanct parts of any wedding ceremony. Writing your own can make the moment even more heartfelt – combining stories of your past with promises for the future. Here’s how the experts advise you get it right.

DO Remember Why Vows Are So Important “The sentiments that your vows embody are the most important part of a wedding

ceremony,” says Frances Cavell, a retired celebrant. “They will serve as a reminder of the life commitment and uncharted – but most definitely exciting – journey that lies ahead.” Celebrant Jennifer Patton agrees: “The wedding vows are very important because they are the central part of the wedding ceremony. These are the lifelong promises a couple will make to each other in the presence of their loved ones.” DO Know The Difference Between Religious & Civil Vows “The phrasing of faith-based religious vows differs from civil vows,” says Frances, “but

the sentiment will remain the same, and for some can represent not only the couple’s commitment, but also a celebration of their faith. The meaning behind vows is romantic, and civil marriage vows are often adapted from religious vows but must be free from any religious connotation.” Jennifer confirms: “For a celebrant-led ceremony a

to writing vows, a couple should include something personal, but if parents or grandparents are listening, make sure it’s nothing too personal. You should think about your relationship and all that you have shared together, and include a promise for everyone to hear that you know will bring a smile or tears of emotion.”

couple can write their vows according to their beliefs, and if they are religious will write their vows looking to their faith to support them throughout their married life. If the couple are not religious in any way, they will convey the same sentiment without the words of faith.” DON’T Forget The Legal Bit “It’s important to note that in legal ceremonies, whether religious (in a place of worship) or civil (with a registrar), vows are pretty much set, as these words form the marriage,” says Jennifer. “In a civil ceremony you must include: ‘I do solemnly declare, that I know not of any lawful impediment why I (name) may not be joined in matrimony to (name)…’ In a religious ceremony you must also include: ‘…according to God’s Holy Law. In the presence of God, I make this vow.’ Once the legal words have been said, there is then some scope for the couple’s personalities to come into play.” DO Make It Personal “Although an intimidating prospect for many, the effort of writing your own vows is

well worth it. Personal vows are from the heart, will be unique, and for the guests it’s a privileged peek into what makes your relationship tick,” says Frances. For Jennifer, “Couples should go for personal vows because only they know the true depth of their love for each other and the words needed to express that love.” DO Know What You Should Include “Genuine feelings are a good starting point when writing your vows. Include your thoughts on why you have chosen this person, what you love about them and what your dreams are for your life together. And don’t forget to say ‘I love you’ – it’s amazing how many people forget to include it in their vows!” says Frances. “Also include promises such as supporting your partner, perhaps with an example of a personal experience specific to your relationship. It’s nice to include a little funny story too – there’s nothing better than an anecdote in the wedding vows.” Jennifer adds: “When it comes 30

DO Know What To Avoid For Jennifer, “Writing too much can be a big mistake. Couples don’t want to run the risk of one of them having written a novel while the other has only written a paragraph.” DO Seek Inspiration “Looking at traditional vows can be really helpful when it comes to writing your vows,” says Frances. “Other helpful sources are books, song lyrics and poems.” “It’s best to avoid inside jokes that only the two of you would understand. Stories that are too personal are also a no-go,” says Frances. DON’T Leave It Too Late “Everybody’s different and some people work better under pressure, but I would recommend allowing plenty of time to write your vows so you don’t feel rushed. Decide on the length and tone of your vows, then brainstorm together if you want to nail down some memories,” says Frances. DO Just Start Writing “Try not to force the writing,” says Jennifer. “Begin thinking about the vows organically. When ready, sit down in your favourite place with your

favourite drink and let the words come naturally. I advise my couples to start by writing some pointers because, as they do so, other things will come to mind that they feel able to share.” Frances agrees: “Start by scribbling down all the things you love about one another, then start probing a little deeper and take a trip down memory lane. Recount your story and before you know it the creative juices will be flowing.”

into the vows,” says Frances.

DO Try To Be Real “The ability to laugh at yourself as well as your relationship serves as well in vow writing as it does in marriage. As well as being self-effacing, include anecdotes – this will make for the most natural and effective way of introducing laughter

DON’T Forget To Rehearse “Either ask a trusted friend to listen to your vows or practise reading them aloud to yourself,” advises Frances. “This is essential because, like a speech, vows require moments of pause and intonation. Be sure not to rush through them

DON’T Try To Include Everything “Don’t be tempted to try and fit every feeling you have into your wedding vows,” says Frances. “Decide together how long you are going to make them and also whether you want to keep them secret from one another until the wedding day.” Jennifer suggests: “There is no rule to this, but try to keep the length of vows to no more than 150 words.”

on the day – your guests will enjoy them much more.” Jennifer adds: “Read the vows out loud in front of a mirror when no one else is home. Do this a couple of times then sleep on them. Come back to them the next day and do the same thing again. If they are right, there will be no changes needed; if not, they can be tweaked.” DO Think About The Detail “It’s really nice when I see couples who have written their vows on pretty card rather than tatty pieces of paper. Most importantly, make sure they are written or printed very clearly so you’ll have no trouble deciphering them,” advises Frances. Jennifer agrees: “It may raise a laugh, but a screwed-up piece of paper doesn’t look very good in the photos!”

9 Tips For Giving The Ultimate Wedding Speech With more couples ditching age-old traditions in favour of personal touches, wedding speeches are no longer the reserve of the groom, best man and father of the bride. So whether you’re giving a bridesmaid speech or you’re a bride-to-be who wants to raise her own toast, read on for our top tips on how to deliver it with style…

Pick A Focus First, decide what you want to achieve from your speech. Do you want to use your way with words to reflect on how happy the day is? Or do you want to liven the mood with some hilarious jokes? While doing both is possible, constantly chopping and changing between two themes will make your speech less effective. Instead, think of your speech as a story, taking listeners on an easy-to-follow journey filled with emotional highs and lows. Plan A Structure Now you’ve found your focus, it’s time to plan out a clear structure – this will allow you to say everything you want to say, and deliver it in a cohesive manner. Traditionally, wedding speeches begin with a line about why you’re up there in the first place; explain how you came to know the bride and what great friends/

colleagues you’ve become (unless you are the bride, we don’t recommend skipping this step). Next is usually when the funny stories come in, followed by a few words about the groom’s positive qualities, before finally bringing things back to the present day as you wrap things up with some well wishes. Get Personal Tried and tested formulas may be a safe bet, but don’t be afraid to inject some personality into your speech. As Jane Gough, editor of Bride Guides and a renown wedding planner, says: “The main advice you should give should be serious and from the heart – for example, if you’ve been happily married for years, share your own perspective. You can add in a couple of jokey lines before that if you want to, but focus on what’s heartfelt – it’s valuable.” Choose Anecdotes Wisely Before including anything that is potentially awkward or risqué anecdotes, Beverley Magazine columnist Fiona Dwyer advises seriously thinking about who’s in the room, and how much detail they really need to know. 34

“Save the gritty, grubby and incriminating stories for people who’ll adore them at the bar afterwards,” she says. Rude jokes aside, she also stresses the anecdotes in your speech should be ones the majority of the room can go along with and enjoy hearing about, rather than specialist jokes that only two other people in the room will get: “Don’t let your toast become a giant in-joke that only a few people understand. A toast should appeal to everyone, be inclusive and unite a room, even if it makes it a bit bland.” Make The Start & Finish Count Presentation skills expert Annette Hudson stresses that, as with most speeches, most people will only remember what was said at the beginning and end – so ensure your opening and closing sentences are the most powerful. “Tying your final words in with what you said at the start can work really well,” she advises. Don’t Forget Thank-Yous Assuming your speech follows the traditional groom or best man formula, remember to say your thank-yous near the end. “Thank the groom and/or best

man for his or their speeches and propose a toast to the bridal attendants,” says Jane Gough. “Although, in theory, the traditional best man role is to say thank you on behalf of the bridal party, be sure to include any ushers, pages, flower girls, etc.” This is also a great time to mention absent friends and family.

Remember, You Don’t Have To Follow Convention Whether you’re a bride or bridesmaid, chances are your speech will be a bit of a bonus.

If the usual suspects – groom, father of the bride etc – are speaking, you have some license to get a little more creative and leave the box ticking to them. Do something different – whether it’s a poem, series of anecdotes cleverly woven together or, if you’re comedic enough, a funny song, to keep guests entertained and leave your mark. Practice Until It’s Perfect Practice your speech out loud, using flash cards or notes as prompts. Then, when you feel comfortable, test out your delivery skills on one of your close friends to gauge the reaction (if they laugh or cry, that’s a good sign). This is a great opportunity to ask for notes, too – were you making enough eye contact? Was your voice too monotone? Did any

of the jokes fall flat? Taking stock of your friend’s reaction and adjusting your speech accordingly is key to nailing it on the night. Remember Less Is More Annette Hudson believes the best speeches are short and sweet, and advises limiting your toast to eight to ten minutes to leave guests wanting more: “Attention spans are minuscule, especially after a few bubbles. So although everyone will be delighted to hear your words, they will thank you forever if you limit your content.” Try timing yourself as you practice to ensure you hit the mark. And keep in mind that less is more when it comes to sappiness too – emotions are good, but going overboard can feel uncomfortable if it’s forced.

Questions To Ask Your Wedding Venue Your venue is probably the most expensive cost when it comes to your wedding, so it pays to find somewhere you love, and somewhere that will help you create the kind of memories to last a lifetime. With so many styles and locations on offer – and all with different packages and deals available – we asked three different venue owners to highlight the key questions all couple should ask.

What’s your capacity? “This is the very first question anyone should ask a venue,” says Adam Jacobs, a senior social events and weddings manager. “Creating your guest list is one of the trickiest parts of planning a wedding, and the size of the wedding party really informs the rest of the day.” Chrissie Close, director and head of creative agrees: “The

Some properties will have a dedicated weddings team who will be able to recommend what works best in terms of timings and the set-up, too.”

capacity of a venue is hugely important to couples who have larger families and friendship groups and want everyone to share their special day with them. It also helps determine whether you need to split your day-time and evening guests.” Do you have a weddings manager or planner? Hannah Houlding, a local events manager says: “It really depends on what you want from your wedding, but it’s good to know from the outset if you’ll have a planner or manager to hold your hand. Some venues will have a wedding planner in-house, while some couples book a planner separately. Having someone who knows the venue inside out is of huge benefit to you – plus, they have a wealth of loyal contacts and local suppliers to help design your dream day.” “This is one of the questions to ask at the very beginning of your venue search,” says Adam. “It’s important to know if the venue has a weddings manager that can guide you through the planning process. 38

Where & when can we have our ceremony? “Venues often only have one room licensed for you to get married in legally,” advises Hannah. “That can be the leading factor when it comes to working out how your day will flow from start to finish. It’s worth knowing the capacities of this room to ensure it will work for you. Checking availability and timings with the local registrars should also be high up on your priority list. Ask if there are any other options available to you; there may also be other locations or rooms, beautiful outdoor areas and stunning local churches to consider.” Is the venue exclusive use? “This is one of the most important questions to ask if you don’t want to be bumping into other brides or wedding parties on your big day,” says Chrissie. “It was an absolute must when we launched our venue because we found so many couples were looking for a private wedding where they can enjoy a venue, grounds and staff exclusively for the day.” Adam adds: “Some venues can only host weddings if you take over the whole property, including all the bedrooms. This is a lovely thing to do, but it can bump up the cost significantly, so make sure to ask this question the minute you decide to visit.”

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Do couples have to take exclusivity for a number of nights? “This is a big consideration for couples as it could really affect the budget,” says Chrissie. “You need to know if you can have the wedding venue exclusively for the night but that you’re not committed to hiring it for a whole weekend or the night before.” Do you offer on-site accommodation? “This is a really important question to ask your venue,” advises Chrissie. “Accommodation is essential for those couples who are marrying in a location not local to their family and friends. It’s so lovely, too, that the morning after the wedding newlyweds can catch up with their guests and reminisce about their

day. It’s also worth finding out about the check-in and checkout times. Ask if there’s parking as well – it’s a must if you’re choosing a city venue.” “You may have booked your venue based on the fact that you can have guests stay overnight, but don’t let this limit you to how many people you can invite,” advises Hannah. “Knowing the maximum capacity across each part of the venue is very important. Such basic things from what chair you use, to whether you would like round or long tables can vary, so make sure to get to know your venue right from the start with the help of their event planners and coordinators.” “It’s also important to check whether the venue offers

discounted rates for your guests,” says Adam. “This is helpful if you have guests coming in from out of town, or if people want to make a weekend out of it. Even if a property doesn’t have bedrooms, it’s likely they will partner with a nearby hotel and be able to get you a good rate. We always offer a wedding code to be included in the invites, so your guests can book directly with the hotel at the best rate possible.” Do couples have to be out by a certain time the next day? “Finding this out is important as it can impact your setup,” says Adam. “Often it will depend on whether the venue has another event booked in for the next day, or, sometimes venues can be flexible and allow suppliers to pick up

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hanging around waiting for chairs and tables to be moved around.”

production the following morning.” Is there space at the venue for both couples to get ready separately? “Find out if the venue has separate spaces for both of you to get ready, without risking the chance of bumping into each other pre-ceremony,” says Adam. “It may be the case there’s a bedroom conveniently located next to the ceremony room that will give the bride the best chance of making an entrance, without being seen beforehand.” What are the menu options? “Ask this question early on,” says Adam. “As the wedding food is very important to most couples, you’ll find it’s often possible to create your own menu alongside a chef. “Don’t forget to ask if the venue offers a complimentary tasting, too,” adds Chrissie. “It’s very common that couples will want to try out the wedding breakfast menu and accompanying wines before the actual day. Do you charge a corkage fee? “Couples can sometimes be shocked by the corkage fees (which is a fee charged for every bottle of wine opened that’s supplied by you and not the venue),” says Chrissie. If you’re not planning on having an open bar, it might be worth checking what bar prices your venue will charge, too.” Do you have any great locations for wedding photographs? “Most venues will know where the real ‘money shots’ are and

will be happy to arrange for you to use them with your photographer. It might be a stunning view or just a special room that photographs well due to the light,” says Adam. “It’s such an important question,” agrees Chrissie. “At our venue, not only do we have some stunning interior settings, there’s also a wonderful riverside spot, plus the gardens and a gazebo. We also have a list of top wedding photographers who have shot at our venue on numerous occasions in case couples are looking for a recommendation.” Is there space to have dinner and dancing all in one room? “Some venues will be able to transform a room for you so you can have dinner and then dancing in the same space. Others will advise moving into a separate room for the post-dinner party for a more seamless experience. It really depends on the property, so be sure to find this out in advance if you’ve got your heart set on a particular space,” advises Adam. “It’s an important question,” agrees Chrissie again. “For example, we offer different floors for different parts of a wedding, which is a huge plus, as it means the flow of the day is continuous and there’s no 42

Can we pay for our wedding in instalments? “It’s worth checking how the venue expects to accept payment,” says Adam. “You’ll tend to find most will be receptive to paying in instalments. You can work out a payment plan together, which is really important for the planning of your big day.” Chrissie agrees: “You might think the venue you want is out of your league financially, but with just a deposit to pay first, and final payments later on, you might find that it’s doable. Work with your venue. Remember as well, that the day of the week you choose, and the month, has a huge impact on prices.” What are your music restrictions? “All venues will have restrictions on when and where you can play music inside and outside on your wedding day,” says Hannah. “Please rest assured this is only because we are aware of the restrictions and want to help you plan your day from start to finish.” How do can you ensure a wedding will feel unique? “Most venues will try to make sure every couples’ day is really special and personal,” says Hannah. “The priority is getting to know you, what’s inspired your wedding, your history together as a couple, and your individual likes and dislikes. They will endeavour to make every wedding different. It’s your wedding – your way.”