One purpose magazine (digital) july 2013 rebel issue 2

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Publisher’s Page - About this Issue Much of the time when we think about the word “Rebel” we think of it in a negative connotation. Being a generation who have seen, through the media, apartheid and genocide have taught us this, and when we hear the word we think about people rebelling against certain governments. This is an honest way to view a rebel, as a matter of fact, the word is defined as refusing allegiance to and oppose by force an established government or ruling authority.

We had to think of a way to define people who go above the norm to accomplish things. We had to think of a way to define people who operate off faith.

Most people in these times live their lives according to what meets the eye, but you have those people whose optimism enlightens their creativity, whose determination change lives and whose ability to see beyond the reality while in the reality separates them from the average Joe or Jane.

We chose to call this edition the “Rebel Issue” for those very reasons. It has everything to do with faith. We wanted to introduce people whose foundation is faith and articles on ways you can build your faith. We want to equip you with tools to help this generation become bold and courageous and demanding.

We cannot continue to accept what is giving to us and our children. Hopefully, this issue will encourage you, cause you to examine your heart, help you break strongholds and most importantly desire to expose your own greatness.

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In a City of Go-Getters

In my early 20’s I had the mentality of many ambitious young people, I figured whatever I wanted in life I had to go and get it. For me, whether it was a job, a car or a relationship, I would go after it, simply because I wanted it. As I acquired the things I sought, I learned that everything that you want is not necessarily for you. I have had much and have lost much, from great jobs to nice cars to attractive educated men in relationships (some not so educated). Never-the-less, I would say in my 20’s I experienced much with my go-getter attitude. Some where along the way growing-up, I learned that chasing after things and people was not the road to success.

Now, that I am a bit older, I have let go of that go-getter mentality. First, it’s tiring, being a single-mother I do not have time to chase life. I need life to flow with me.

Second, its important to work towards things that will last. When you rush into things they typically do not last, and when things are moving at a fast pace you are less prone to weigh your options evaluating if its good for you at the time and how long you’re willing to commit to it. I surely did not think that way.

It might be easy for us to adopt the I will sleep when I die hustle mentality, because we see celebrities’ lifestyles and we equate that with success, but I believe if we rest in our youth, meaning allowing yourself to truly discover you, finding the peace within and operating from there will allow us to avoid setting unreal expectations for things that may not be meant for us at the time, opening the door for you to create disappointments that may hinder your thinking when it is time. We see this ofter in our peers with relationships.

For example, you cannot trust a good man or woman because you move quickly when it was not time and was hurt. Or, you took the job because of the pay, knowing there was no passion there, now you’re afraid to step out on faith to walk in your purpose because you created a lifestyle around something that was suppose to be temporary, but has you permanently tied-up. If you want to chase after anything or be a go-getter, establish that mentality in Christ that’s a relationship that will lead you through the best path, and what is acquired on that path will surely sustain and in doing this you will surely find peace in the Prince of Peace www.onepurposemag.com |

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A Jones Publishing and Enterprises publication Volume 1 - Number 1

Publisher/Editor-in-chief Nia Jovan Andrews

www.onepurposemag.com www.jonespubent.com (708)414-6843

One Purpose Magazine is published quarterly by Jones Publishing and Enterprises, LLC. At no charge to the reader. Copyright 2013. All rights reserved. All the views expressed are those of the Publisher/Editor-in-Chief, Nia Jovan Andrews/. Reproduction in whole or in part with the publisher’s express written consent is prohibited.

Printed in the USA

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#InThis2Gether In Every Issue 4

Publisher’s Page - About this Issue

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In a city of Go-getters

Features

Profiles Queen-Khadijah Freeman 10 Raina A. Love 12 Donnell McDavid 22

Building healthy Unions: Genesis Approach 8 Nursing Professionals Stories 17 Single Mothers - You are not the Father 20 Short Story: Sunday School 24 Manifested Behaviors: Buried Issues 28 Generation heartbreak 32

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Building Healthy Unions: Genesis Approach

Then she said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when you won’t confide in me? This is the third time you have made a fool of me and haven’t told me the secret of your great strength.” 16 With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was sick to death of it.

17 So he told her everything. “No razor has ever been used on my head,” he said, “because I have been a Nazirite dedicated to God from my mother’s womb. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as any other man.”

18 When Delilah saw that he had told her everything, she sent word to the rulers of the Philistines, “Come back once more; he has told me everything.” So the rulers of the Philistines returned with the silver in their hands.

19 After putting him to sleep on her lap, she called for someone to shave off the seven braids of his hair, and so began to subdue him.[c] And his strength left him.{Judges 16: 15-19 New International Version}

Has sharing your vulnerabilities with the wrong people made you as weak as any other man? In this text you have a man who’s falling for a prostitute. She is not cut from the same cloth as he is, if you will. Her ways are not like his, her loyalty is not like his, her commitment is not like his, because he comes from a place of substance.

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How many people have found themselves aligned with folks who are just not like you. You are called into a purpose, but he’s not; you’re anointed but she’s not... she’s obedient, but he’s not, yet you give this person your vulnerabilities, your truths, your secrets and they turn around and use them against you. Then you are stuck looking just as weak as the other men, although you are called to a purpose, anointed and well-behaved.

submit to a calling, he made her think that he was a partner, a provider and a man of God until he could not lie any longer and used her secrets, the things that he knew would hurt her the most to destroy her hopes, tear down her dreams and make her feel like the many others he manipulated, used and abused. He then abandoned her knowing this feeling of abandonment was her greatest pain. Because, he felt unworthy, was buried by failures and filled with hurt he wanted to reA woman shared with her boyfriend, at the time, one turn the pain he felt by her asking one question that thing that was done to her that broke her down to made him face the lies he told in their relationship. where it dictated how she felt about relationships, how she dealt with men and how she was unable to trust. Who do you blame in these types of instances?

How the abandonment of her father manifested bad The person whose intent is to love or the person who behaviors. She shared this because she thought she never learned how to be loved, give love or take the was with someone who would protect her; she thought time to love themselves? The lesson here goes back she was with someone who would not hurt her; she to the biblical text that says be not unequally yoked. thought that she would invite him into that space Sometimes people’s hurt define their yoke and if they where no one has ever been, because she thought that are not delivered their hurt will seek to hurt you. the love she was offering through her confiding in him would build trust, loyalty and responsibility. Little did Let us go back to where it began when man needed she know like Samson that the foundation of self-worth a companion. God created Adam, on the sixth day of and value has to be rooted in a person in order for them creation and gave him dominion and rule over everyto understand what you are giving them. If there’s a thing that God had created. With all these things, man crack in that foundation, they cannot see it for the in- was still missing something, so from man God created tent of which you are giving and if they are not getting woman and told them to be fruitful and to multiply. If what they want out of a situation they will turn on you. we can take a look into the beginning of time we will see that woman was not created from want or desire In the case with this woman, she shared all these or solely to fulfill a yearning of loneliness, she was crethings, but as soon as she questioned the man’s com- ated out of a need. Everything else like companionmitment to the longevity of the relationship, he re- ship was a bonus. God fulfilled the need to populate sponded with an attitude like Delilah in the beginning the earth and gifted man with a companion to do so. passage. Instead of reaffirming, he turned into the victim -- Kind of like the “how can you say you love These days it seems as though when we approach relame when you don’t confide in me.” His was, how can tionship and marriage we are looking for someone who you say you want to be with me when you question can fix our issues over establishing a partnership that my commitment. They both make sense, right? But, will establish legacy. Established by definition means let’s look at Delilah, every time Samson shared some- recognized and accepted in a particular capacity. This thing that is so important with her, she goes and tell indicates that God recognized Adam’s headship over the philistines, this was, a small test. It was never men- the garden, in other words, God created Adam to lead tioned if Samson secretly hoped that she would change all things in the Garden of Eden like mentioned above. over time, but eventually what he told her cost him his Much of the time we seek relationship based off the delife, when he should have realized with the small test sire and not a plan to fulfill the purpose. We feel lonethat she was not as committed as he wanted her to be. ly, so we use people to fill the void. We feel unloved, and we use a relationship to fill the void. We feel like we are This woman did the same. There were small test to aging and time is running out, so we settle to fill a void. try the guy’s loyalty, some he passed, some he did not.

Many of the test were testing his ability to stay and The truth here is that God is a God of order. Before God weather a storm until she asked that one question and gave Adam his companion, Eve, he made sure Adam it angered him. He then used what he knew about her was established. So if we look at Genesis (the beginto hurt her because his plans were looking as though ning) we see that it is important for a man to be fully they would not be fulfilled, because, in his heart, he established before he seeks a mate. A woman should knew he could not fulfill the purpose she needed him not come so that she may establish a man, but so that to. Instead of being honest about his incapability to she may help, support, love, share and multiply. For ex-

Cont....Pg.33

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Queen - Khadijah Freeman, Minister of the Spoken Word, Author, Mother, Wife

It was late afternoon on a Sunday. Church was over and the day was gorgeous it was warm and sunny, a bit unusual for May in Chicago. It was the kind of day that you kick back with your family and some good soul food and some sunkissed lemon iced tea laid back on the couch watching TV or movies. As enjoying as that may sound that was not what Queen-Khadijah Freeman, minister of the spoken-word, author, mother, wife and mentor lent her time to on this kind of day. She walked into the south suburban Panera Bread with a spirit of joy and a willingness and openness to share her story. While, the few quiet guest sat in their own personal conversations as soft music played in the background, she sat prepared to share her world.

In our lives, sometimes we face many trials before it all makes sense. Queen says, “Knowing your gift makes you a threat to the enemy.”

She was born and raised in Chicago and as a young girl into woman-hood she faced many adversities. She shared that she had been abused in every way, sexually, physically, mentally and emotionally. She lost her mother at a young age and married into an abusive relationship. She later left that marriage and became a single mother of three boys, who are now 15, 16 and 20 years-old. She recalled her oldest son being mature at a young age, smiling at the memory, she remember him at 13-years-old making her steak and potatoes after she had a long day at work. After dinner at night, she would lay a blanket on the floor and her and her boys would have praise and worship in the living room, “Times were hard, but we got through them,” she said.

After having suicidal thoughts when her mother was murdered she tried to walk in traffic on a day when the winds were still, and a truck was coming at her full speed and suddenly a gust of wind pushed her back. After all the abuse, hurt, feeling alone and abandonment that gust of wind was God letting her know she was not alone. That is when she decided to leave her abusive marriage, stay with a friend for three weeks and join the church her mother joined prior to her dying. There, is where she was able to dig into herself and rebuild some of the issues she faced, like feelings of abandonment .

“My past was not for me,” she says as she explained that God uses her to share her story with other young women, and because of what she’s been through she can understand their stories. From her recently released book, Transparently Me,” she talks about sharing a poem and originally being afraid to share the piece. After over coming that fear, she ministered the it in an open poetry forum and a woman confided in her that same night how she was going home with the plan to

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commit suicide, but hearing her poem made her feel like she could keep going and live. Queen feels that it is by no coincidence that the woman was living what she planned to be her last night at a poetry event verses a club. This experience confirmed to Queen God’s plans to use her to minister to women who have faced or are facing similar circumstances as she did.

She believes that ministry is all about being transparent. “When you’re abandoned, you feel like you do not belong,” she said. To fill that void as a teen she got involved with a gang and played basketball trying to find something to be a part of, but as she grew older she slowly started to love herself. It was a process, early on before she got to a place where she loved herself, she would dress in dark colors and was shy and hidden. She says, “ Queen is not shy and I deserve this [pointing at herself] because I took from myself, now I wear color; I am in a different head space, and I do me now. I am confident in myself and I don’t have to be hidden. I have a closer relationship with God now.” Queen learned while growing spiritually that God is not a stuffy God she says, “ God is a gentleman.” In receiving that she learned to relax a little more.

“His Prayer was to help him find a woman that will help him get closer to God”

In Queen’s spiritual growth and being able to walk through and face some of her past hurts she was able to find wholeness within herself. As she said, she was able to love herself. It’s been said many times that you cannot truly love someone else, unless you can love yourself. In God’s time for her he introduced her to a man who was established and who admitted to Queen that before her, he prayed for a woman that could help him get closer to God. Queen said that she almost passed on him because he was not saved, but even though he’s an alpha male, in dating a woman who stood by her convictions ,who was confident in herself, through everything in her past was able to love herself and her children and had a solid spiritual relationship with God he asked her what did he have to do to be saved and eventually asked her to marry him. Queen says that her purpose is to be steady, usable and open, and to never go back to the old Khadijah.

Side Bar: Nia Jovan Andrews

When I first met Queen it was at an event called “100MusicLive” hosted by a rapper/poet Christopher LeMark in Chicago, IL. I asked her a few questions, first being her name. When she told me it (Queen-Khadijah) I thought to myself that is pretty bold. As I probed deeper her spirit began to reveal itself to me. I was able to sense her transparency, openness and availability to another young woman. People may not know this about me, but every encounter for me is research. I immediately knew that she was someone I wanted to one day profile. Not just because of her openness, but I thought her confidence and boldness in the Lord to consider herself Queen-Khadijah sends a message to young adult women that in Christ we are royalty and we should recognize it in ourselves and in one another.

Purchase book at www.queenkhadijah.com

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Raina A. Love - Over-a

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all Look Stylist...

- MakeUp - fashion and wellness ve all, the Love of Christ. www.onepurposemag.com |

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“God can use anybody at anytime.”

We often sit and marvel at the television when we see the Celebes’s being pampered for photo shoots and

events, while never realizing that there are people with the same talent and the same eye for fashion who can help us bring forth our best look right in our own hometowns. I sat down to talk to, over-all stylist and preacher Raina A. Love, 27, in Chicago for a one-on-one sister girl chat about triumph, obstacles, gifts and being comfortable in who you are and the gifts/talents you have to offer.

We met at Raina’s home, and I felt very welcomed at her hello. I can tell that there was an eagerness about what we would discuss and if she would have the answers to the unknown questions I had in my notebook. As I entered, I began to share a story with her about a male friend of mine. Where, I engaged in a conversation to separate spiritual relationship from religion, believing that often times people confuse the two never finding a spiritual relationship with Christ out of running from religion. Since, she’s called to preach, I had a feeling this story would be a good ice-breaker, and I knew after that discussion the Holy Spirit would make the way for an awesome interview with me probing into areas that have been thought, but maybe not publicly spoken, yet alone written.

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how big I had gotten. I had an uncle who said you’re

gonna die, you need to lose weight or your heart is In her talent of styling, she has always believed in going to bust open. Then I decided I really wanted to the over-all look of a person, not just their hair and make some changes, but I did not want to do yo-yo wardrobe. She says, “The hair, nails, make-up, it all diets. I had to ask myself how to do this the right has to gel.” She believes that creative people touch way and I learned its not about fitness but wellness. some of everything, and a over-all look for her also means wellness, while Raina was pursuing her cerNia: What about your spirituality, how did that help tificate in beauty school, she came to a realization your road to over-all wellness? about her own weight that caused her to want to

focus on wellness, not just fitness. She noticed while Raina: I began to understand who God really is; reliin school standing for hours was uncomfortable for gion verses relationship: relationship gave me idenher. She was 4’11 and weighed 297 pounds, she tity and peace. My best friend introduced me to my began exploring ways she could become healthy and church where I learned the love of Christ, prosperity, learned that wellness starts with the mind. Eventubiblical truth, how to love people and how to submit ally, she lost 70 pounds. to God wholeheartedly. I learned not to worry and I can’t give people what you don’t have.

With her weight loss she wanted too shed some issues that may have contributed to her weight gain. Nia: Speaking of people, tell us about being a stylist.

“If I can take care of you that’s how I can prove I can

appreciate you. Beauty was natural, but body and Raina: Stylist for me is hair, make-up artist and health took a back seat.” image consultant. It’s the overall look, not just hair and wardrobe. I always believed in an overall look:

hair, nails, make-up it all has to gel. Creative people Nia: What were some of those things? touch some of everything. God gave me this profes sion because I will touch people. In ministry God can Raina: I had feelings of abandonment, because my use anybody at anytime. I was called to preach at father passed when I was 13-years-old. For years 22-years-old, but I did not come into full revelation I just did not want to talk about it. I finally cried until 26-years-old. about it last December (2012). As a kid, I learned how to take things as they come. My father had six Nia: What is your purpose: strokes and two heart attacks, so I was a kid with

serious responsibility in helping to take care of him.

Raina: To walk in love, relay love and walk in knowlI learned to adapt to whatever hits me. In that, you edge. To live by the Spirit and be governed by the learn how to pay attention to everybody else beSpirit. To live the word in truth and show people that cause you are so use to adapting. Also, by the time I they have power. I want people to learn to protect was 21-years-old in 2007, I got married and the day their dreams [if you do] you get to see the manifesof my marriage, I knew it wasn’t God. At that point tation [of your dreams]. in my life, I just reached for anything, I wanted to love something and when someone talks marriage Nia: You seem so full of wisdom. you want it because you want it. In 2008, we sep arated, I did not like being married for 5 months it Raina: Wisdom is applied knowledge. I always strugwas like Jekyll and Hyde, so I walked away. There gled with the age thing, because I was always very were also some financial issues that contributed to advanced. the issues that started with my mind.

Nia: So, what brought you to that place of wellness and emotional healing?

Raina: [laughs] After my marriage, I never realized

“Now, I walk in my authority,” Raina

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Some of the names, locations, people and areas are intentionally undisclosed. The names of the people within the article are alias names in order to protect the identity of these professionals.

As I walked through the emergency room doors at once of Chicago’s suburban hospitals late on a Saturday night in February I was able to gaze into the life of the employees who have to work in a fast paced environment where everyday people depend on the to care for a common cold to our most extreme health conditions. The automatic doors opened. I looked up to a security guard asking me, “Can I help you young lady?” Before I had the chance to respond a paramedic came rushing through the door yelling the condition of a 17-year-old black boy who was just shot in the abdomen not too far away from the hospital. The emergency room nurses ran to his side ripping apart his graphic print t-shirt. One of the nurses yelled out “apply pressure” and get the doctor, we may have to send him out to the trauma center.

The wheeled the bleeding boy to the back of the emergency room area so that the doctor could attend the severe wound, while the nurses provided him with the care he needed as the doctor worked.

Standing the waiting room with their faces covered with shock were a young male and female, friends of the wounded boy, who both were in the car with him when an estranged male pulledup and drew a gun and shot one time in the car.

“We were just trying to go to a house party ” said the young female with tears rolling down her face.

Then, came bursting in the hospital were the father and mother of the wounded boy. “Where is my son?” Yelled the father. One of the nurses came out to calm him down, and told him what was going on with the boy’s condition. Minutes passed and the family paced the waiting room, they be-

gan to get impatient and the mother proceeded to ask one of the registration clerks what was taking so long to find out about her son’s condition. The clerked looked-up at her with a blank stare, the emergency room was over crowed this particular night, the clerk did not know exactly who her son was. Then, the nurse that had previously calmed the woman’s husband down came out and told them that her son was being rushed to the trauma center, not too far from the hospital they are at, because they did not have the doctors or equipment there to care for him, but it looked to her and the doctors there that he would survive the wound.

“These nurses here are very hard-working women,” said the registration clerk. She goes on to describe how all the women there are at work for hours at time, because they love what they can do for others. She believes that many of the nurses have been through so much in their profession to where they have compassion for the underprivileged people that they see come through the hospital. “We see it all, homeless people, drug abusers, prostitutes, gang bangers and not once have I seen one of the nurses not fulfill their obligation to the patient because of a persons status,” the registration clerk said.

Certified Nurses Assistant: A young woman in her mid twenties who is a home health aide and a certified nurses assistant with a hospice company began her nursing career while she was still in high school at 17-years-old, cleaning and doing miscellaneous work at a nursing home for three years prior to attending community college, where she received the education for her certified nursing certificate. She took the state exam and passed the first time and went on to work for another nursing facility and after being there a while began working in hospice. www.onepurposemag.com |

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She got to a point where she could not sleep replaying being with her patients in her head. Then, alcohol became a way for her to get over it. She would finish her work week and on Friday would go straight to the liquor store for a pint of dark alcohol. “It was hard, but every patient is the same when they die, and now I can tell when they about When her brother came home after a two-week to transition, so I prepare myself now,” she said. stay at the hospital she was afraid to say anything to him. “I didn’t want to see him like that,” Registered Nurse: she said. She described him as a “real man.” She A school nurse loves the that she chose a career in smiled about how he was the type of guy every- nursing. As she walks into the elementary school body respects. “I had so a lot of respect for him that she works at her face lights-up as it she’s one and to see a stranger have to come in and care of the students about to learn something new to for him hurt my feelings.” At the same time, see- run home and share with their parents. Instead, ing that nurse come in helped her realize what it her glow comes from knowing that she has the was she wanted to become. She saw how much skills to aide little runny noses, asthma attacks or one nurse was able to invest care into her broth- any health dilemma that meets her in her office. er knowing, seeing and aiding his condition. She remembered that nurse in doing all her work, She began her career as a nurse in Chicago in 1979. allowing her big brother to still feel like a “real Her first experience as a registered nurse was exciting man” after his ego had been shattered. She knew and fun, but at the same time scary, because although then that nurses not only assist in the body she was trained as a nurse, she lacked experience. healing, but nurses could also help the soul too.

As she sat on the couch of her dimly lit living room, Now, she’s been in the nursing industry herself she recalled the moment she wanted to become a for nine years. She been through some trials of nurse. She can remember being in third grad, and her own with the line of work she does. One day, having to go to see the doctor. When she would she walked into an unlit home at seven o’clock get there she would be greeted by a “nasty oldin the morning to wake-up her patient so that er lade who was just mean,” she said. She knew he could bath, eat breakfast and take his medi- that she wanted to be a nurse because her mother cation as she normally does for him on Tuesday, was a nurse. Her mother would always make her Wednesday and Thursdays. When she walked and her siblings make their beds perfect and she in the patient’s bedroom she realized that flick- could remember the white shoes her mother alering the lights and loudly calling his name ways wore to work. She looked up to and respectbrought about no movement. Instantly knowing ed her mom, and she knew her mother was a nice what she had been taught in her training class, woman to the patience she saw, unlike the mean she ran over to check his pulse, and nothing. nurse from her doctors office. After experiencing There, another person laid lifeless to add to the unpleasant nurses as a child, she wanted to change many, since she is in hospice. “It’s very difficult the perception that nurses were mean when she to see a family and a person go through that, just was older and decided she wanted to be a nurse.

She sat in her kitchen and took a puff of her cigarette and recalled the time when she decided she wanted to become a nurse. She was a little girl around 8-years-old, and her brother was shot it the back. “That one bullet paralyzed my brother from the waist down,” she said.

imagine knowing you are going to die” she said.

When she began in hospice she can recall it being too hard for her emotionally, because she would be there with a patient one day, then return to work the next day to find out they died.

“That took a toll on me, because I could not wrap my head around death after death,” she said.

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When she is at work and the children see her their faces light-up with bright smiles and they wave and say hello. She stands in the hallway and hands them Dum Dum lollipops. She says, “I know many of the parents would not like that I give the kids suckers, but one isn’t gonna hurt them (as she giggles).”

Marie plans to retire from the school system, but her

journey did not go straight from her first job at the hospital to being a nurse at Chicago Public School System. In between those positions, she worked 13 years in home care assistance with private and nursing homes. She spent time teaching a certified nursing course to prepare aspiring Certified Nursing Assistants (CNAs) for their state exam. She also spent many years supervising nursing staff.

Marie classifies her leadership skills as her best qualification. She recalled when she supervised nurses at Chicago Osteopathic Medical Center in Olympia Fields, IL (now St. James Hospital), “there were negative employees that needed to be weeded out,” she said. She would notice that some of the nurses were not passionate about their job, and noticed that some of them were there just to receive a check. The nurses would pass all their medications to their patients and then try to go home two hours early for no justifiable reason. Marie said, she could not understand that, because in a hospital where different shifts of nurses are taking care of one patient -- communication is extremely important. “I can remember once where a patient received the wrong meds and it was because of lack of communication. That is when I knew as a supervisor, something needed to be done.” Then, she said, she became strict. She had to write-up a few people and let a few go. She implemented new rules and created free lunch incentives and the change allowed her to develop a staff that had great communication and professionalism.

degree program. That is one of the glitches in the industry to her. She feels that nursing should not be broken down into so many categories “that’s where the superior attitudes come from,” she said.

The registered nurse works by the direct side of the doctor. The RN and the doctor chart the information so that they have a way to communicate the patients’ needs. The License Practical Nurse (LPN) works with the RN, he or she does things like pass the medications, check the patients’ vitals, and check any type of medicines the patient may be receiving through an intravenous (IV). The CNAs help with anything the RN or LPN may need physical help doing. “That’s where much of the disrespect comes in, because some nurses will get the attitude that they do not have to do physical work because they have been through school,” she said.

That is one thing Marie wish would change about the industry. She has noticed many changes since 1979. She remembered working at Walter Memorial and there only being four black women working in the hospital including her. Only she and another woman were registered nurses. Now she sees more black women in the field. She feels there is a high demand for nurses, and many of them are over worked and drained. That is why she believes nurses leave hospitals and to go to home care, and some schools. “It is a demanding industry, and you have to have a passion for it to do it. If you do not then your patients suffer, and Marie was also a field nurse. She enjoyed it be- we are experiencing too much of that,” she said. cause the environment was different from being in a hospital. She felt there was more direct There are so many ways this industry can be communication amongst the nurses, home care brought back to life if people begin to see helpproviders and nurses’ assistants. That she liked, ing people as the primary cause of serving in it because it allowed for better care for the patient. like Marie. Nurses do not have to be drained and Although, she like the environment better there should not be. We have enough women out there were still places that she noticed needed im- that are intelligent enough, wise enough, dedicatprovement. When Marie worked in the private ed enough to submit their lives to helping people and nursing homes she would notice a superi- through life. It just has to become a priority like or attitude that came from the nurses. “We are it once was. Our young people have to begin to reall jammed up into one category -- nurses,” she alize that helping others is the real key to success. said. However, that is not true according to Marie.

She said that the only individuals in the nursing industry that can be classified as a nurse are the registered nurses, because they went through a www.onepurposemag.com |

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Single Mothers-You Are Not the Father

We are living in a time that is showing us that it takes a village to raise a child. Even with two parents it’s important to have community involvement accessible for both parents, like counseling, after school programs, activities etc....

We have found ourselves in a place where two parents in one household is no longer a normal family, for whatever reason, along with that we have lost our community. Even in the “best” of neighborhoods, it may not be necessary to point out that many of us do not know our own neighbors, yet are able depend upon them in a time of need. Aside from an opinion, the facts are, approximately 84% of custodial parents are mothers according to the U.S. Census Bureau. They also found in the 2009 Census that there are 13.7 million single parents in the United States, and those parents are responsible for raising 21.8 million children. That information should be daunting, considering that we have a vast majority of women raising men. Statistics doesn’t show the non-custodial involvement, but we will get to that later.

In an attempt to address the 84% that translates to 115,080,000 mothers who are single parents, we think its important for them to understand that they are not the father. It seems through many public rants, campaigns or talk shows that single mothers like to say that they have to be their child(ren)’s mother and father. This mentality is bondage. Here’s how; it places too much pressure on a woman to be something she was never designed to be. This is not to say that women cannot be strong and accomplish things beyond domestic or raising children, but we are talking about a mentality. It seems that women who think this way take on more than one person can handle and because of this the most important areas that our children need us in are missed.

When it comes to having custody of a child(ren) it seems to be various definitions and criteria in which we are addressing in this article. This article is primarily addressing absentee parents in situations where marriage never occurred.

Women have to open their eyes and get past the guilt, hurt or resentment they may feel toward the father’s of their child(ren). It has been said over and over again that the one(s) suffering where there is tension, animosity or discourse between two parents is the child(ren).

The corporeality of this is whether divorce has taken place or if the parents were never together; conflict may make a child(ren) feel stuck in the middle of his/her parents. If the custodial parent is always fussing about what the non-custodial parent is not doing that child may begin to harbor his/her own negative feelings about their parent based off of the things the custodial parent has said, and a child should be able to know and understand both parents and later derive to his/her own opinions once they are mature enough to do so.

There was this guy I knew who always had horrible things to say about his father, but I never understood, because his parents were married and he grew-up with the both of them present in his life. I later was talking to his mother and learned in that conversation that many of the things he said about his father were some of the things that his mother said in that conversation. I learned she had resentment toward her husband and her son carried those same resentments, hindering the relationship he had with his father. If that is happening with fathers in the household, let’s be honest absent fathers have not a chance. I also heard her say that at times she had to be the mother and the father. That comment over it all, blew my mind and nearly brought me to tears, because I

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thought of my own mother who always carried the weight of what two people should carry just so that my sibling and I would not feel slighted growing-up.

Sidebar A custodial parent is the parent with Even if your situation is similar to the story about the man above, you whom a child resides with a full are not the father, no matter how alone you may feel. A woman’s role time. Most custodial parents have for her child(ren) is to be the mother. You risk the chance of being been awarded physical custody of a solely a provider to your child(ren) when you put on the hat of trying child by a court of law. Generally, a to be the father too. You may end-up spending so much time mak- custodial parent is also considered ing sure your child(ren) needs are met that you forget the nurture and training-up that a child needs. Let’s explore that ideology a bit: the primary care parent. He or she how many single-mothers do you know that are busting their butts usually assumes the responsibility of providing all of the essential needs to maintain a house, cars, career, their child(ren), along with their education and activities? On top of that pursuing higher education for the child. This may include proto make more money to provide and make the way easier for their viding shelter, clothing and food. child(ren) in order for them to make better decisions when they are adults.

The noncustodial parent is one who plays a secondary role and generally Being a hard-working parent who is making a way is one thing, but lacks the power to make major deciwe cannot neglect the nurture, care and attention children need, be- sions regarding the child’s upbringcause when you neglect those vital things you begin to create a cycle ing and care. and your mistakes become your child(ren) mistakes.

I would like to challenge single-mothers to let go of the idea that they Definitions pulled from www.wisecan be both mother and father. Women, you will never be able to be geek.orgwww.wisegeek.org your child(ren)’s father. Our kid(s) needs us to be mothers. If you are a single mother, be open to allowing resources, community and fam- When it comes to having custody of ily(if you have them) to help and support you. I am not advising you a child(ren) it seems to be various to become dependent on accepting handouts and abusing systems (a definitions and criteria in which we topic for another time), but realize that without your presence, guid- are addressing in this article. This arance, nurture, validation and affirmation your children will suffer and ticle is primarily addressing absentee most of the time they become your sacrifice for provisions. I would parents in situations where marriage recommend finding a church home or support group, along with a never occurred. place or organization where strong men who are role models are present. We have to begin to turn the focus on the needs of our children and begin not operating from our own place of self-defeat. *I know this article may seem as though I am setting women back in our role, but we need to find a balance in our lifestyle even as single parents. Especially mothers, I see single fathers depending on women in the community for help, but I see single mothers turning help down all the time and I don’t understand why. I am not saying that throwing away your dreams and focusing solely on being a mother should be your route, because we all know you are your child’s provider, all I am saying is to examine your mentality on being a single mom, and do not allow anger, resentment or guilt to dictate how you may handle your role as a parent. Our children today need fathers, without a question, but they need their mothers just as much, and if mom is thinking she has to be a dad too how can you be the best mom for your child(ren)?

You may not need a 3-bedroom house, or an expensive car. Your kids may not need the name brands or the latest electronic. The sacrifice should be the stuff, not your child, because you’ll find later that the stuff doesn’t matter, children prefer quality time, structure, nurture, rules (whether they admit it or not). We have to give them that, being a mother comes first. If dad isn’t in the picture be honest with your child and tell them just that, but assure them that you will protect and support them as best you can and WHEN they begin asking questions about dad, be honest, don’t lie and say, he doesn’t love you, or he doesn’t want to be in your life, because you don’t know that to be true, unless he’s told you that.

Tell them you don’t know, but maybe one day your dad will be able to explain that to you. Most important, make peace with yourself for any resentment or guilt you may have. It’s time we get back to what comes first to our children. www.onepurposemag.com |

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Donnell McDavid, Dean of Culture, Leader, Father, Husband

“Be honest, life is a mixture of what you want to do and what you have to do.

You can’t live a selfish life.”

Every environment welcomes an aura and when you walk into it you can usually sense it. Walking into the Culture Office at Johnson College Preparatory Academy in Chicago’s Englewood community, there’s an obvious temperature that sets-up a zero-tolerance environment, where order, structure and discipline are primary. Especially, when the staff are discussing organizational flow-charts, and walkie-talkies are spewing out request for someone to come escort a student to the Culture Office and the response is “10-4” with an abrupt motion to the call of duty by the staff. Donnell McDavid, 30, Dean of Culture exposes his journey to his calling to work with Chicago’s inner city youth in a Noble Charter Academy.

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but power, and of love, and a sound mind,” 2Timothy 1:7 {King James Version} Donnell, a young man in his 20’s who became the father of two children, by two different women conceiving two months a part. As a young man this can be devastating raveling fears, one being the societal fear of judgment as being a baby daddy, not of one child, but two children; and, being counted out as a man who will provide since he was unemployed at the time. This fear made Donnell want to count himself out and he ad-

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mitted that he just did not know how to get back on track. Life has taught us that with some men when they feel inadequate they shut down. This can not only cause society to think that they can judge you, but can cause that man to become a societal problem and statistics on children raised in Fatherless homes can become problematic to society too. However, in Christ, a setback is preparation for set-up. If you turn to him and you are obedient to the process in time God will show you where he is taking you when he has an intended purpose for your life, and no mistake that you make will change the plans that he has to prosper you.

nell’s presence is important. I feel like the girls need his presence, the boys need his presence, but the girls need a male role model too.”

Donnell says that there is a gap between what children need and people standing in the gap.

He began his journey at the college preparatory academy as a paraprofessional in special education. By the second semester, a position opened as a culture specialist on the Discipline team (now Culture team). In his second year there he became the Dean of Culture. He says the goal of the Culture team is to change the overall atmosphere by students meeting expectations verses disciplinary actions as a result to every students’ issue.

Process: “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also, and great works than these he will do, because I He says, “ I never know what’s going to happen go to my Father.” John 14:12 {New King James on any given day,” but prior to work he has deVersion} votional and prayer. He said he makes sure he spends time every morning in God’s word. This Donnell, served two years in the Army, National has taught him when working with inner-city Guard, then two years Army Reserve. He went on youth that he will not be able to change every to pursue a degree in communication at DePaul single one of them who may have deeply rootUniversity Chicago concentrating on a Bachelor ed problems. He’s learned if someone does not of Arts degree in Relational, Group and Organichange that he did not fail him/her. He says, “My zational Communication. While he was studying intentions are always good.” for his undergraduate degree program, he worked for Chicago Public Library. Closing-out his unDonnell understands that his presence is importdergrad program, he began to have concerns ant and with that he appreciates that he’s able to about how his financial needs would be met on relate his past experiences to the student’s curthe salary he was making at the library. While, he rent experiences. was trying to figure it out, someone shared with him that there are opportunities for black men in “He who finds a wife finds what is good and reeducation and that it would give him the opportu- ceives favor from the LORD.” Proverbs 18:22 nity to touch lives. {New International Version} After he decided that this made sense for him, he decided to transition to DePaul University Graduate School and with in three weeks was accepted into the Master’s of Education and Leadership program, of which he is currently completing, expecting to complete 2013.

“A man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men.” Proverbs 18:16 {King James Version}

In Donnell’s personal life, he recently married Garland Thomas-McDavid, Principal at Johnson College Preparatory Academy. He says, he likes for the students to see he and his wife interact, because they get to see black love and honor God’s word to join as man and wife. In their blended family they have six children, and he says his wife is nothing like she is at school, at home he says, “{laughing} she’s way more stern at school than at home.”

“Dominique Fatoke, Assistant Dean of Culture at Johnson College Predatory Academy says, “Donwww.onepurposemag.com |

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There are many people who go to the church for healing. People who are in the world longing for something. They have an itch they just cannot scratch, alcohol cannot do it, sex cannot do it, a title or degree cannot do it, there is no habit to satisfy the longing and desire that cannot be explained. So many people find their way to the church seeking the healing they need or that desire to feel complete. Sometimes other church folks who are after the same fulfillment get in the way and run others off, but there is healing in the House of the Lord. If you go seeking God, not man, not a quick fix to your deeply rooted issues, but if you go seeking God you can find healing in the house. Read how Shonda found healing in the House of the Lord.

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Short story:sunday school

There’s transformation in the house

It was a long week. Tricks wasn’t turning up like they had been. The word must’ve gotten out that the police was hitting the strip hard this week. It’s hard as hell on these blocks alone, no pimp to make these weak punks move around and these hoes are always out of order like they ass need a daddy or something. I just don’t get why these bitches cannot just get money and move around. These dudes thirsty, they’ll always be thirsty, for every hoe there’s at least five tricks an hour. These broads will never get it.

I am thirty-two and I’ve been on these streets since I was 17-years-old. The tripped out part is I am from a family with both my parents and my brother is 40 and he’s an anesthesiologist. I was born with one gift, my looks. I was told when I was a little girl I was gonna be a heart-breaker, I don’t know why people said that shit, because that became the truth. I broke my own heart, my parents’ hearts and God’s heart, I know it, but why should I give a damn, nobody cares about real shit, everybody want to perpetuate and act like they are so damn deep but their souls is just as fucked-up as mine, they just not bold enough to say they’re fucking for a dollar, yeah you may not be laying on your back, but you fucking somebody over, under or through and calling it something that sounds righteous, I know I was around that fake shit my whole life. What they say, the whore-mongers know the whore-mongers, the witches know the witches, yeah and the bullshitters know the bullshitters. I can walk in a room and know my kind, but the difference between me and them is, I know what I am, I ain’t gonna mask that shit up with God and act like I’m fucked-up because of Him. Nawl, I’m fucked-up because of me.

I got to a point where having sex made it so at least I can be something in this messed-up world. When I am with one of those tricks, I am probably the best looking piece of ass they ever had touch them. Don’t get it messed-up, I ain’t on no drugs and I don’t even drink, my shit is conscious. I know exactly what I am doing and why I am doing it, in plus I ain’t about to be off my square while I’m with these clowns that’s how you find bitches on curves and rooms dead and I ain’t trying to spend my last minute on this earth getting hit high.

I spend a lot of time alone though just thinking. I’m in and out of these hotel and motel rooms, but I make enough to pay for a little studio apartment and it’s just me. Nobody knows where I live, not even my family, and I like it that way. I always been to myself people may think I’m crazy, but I make shit up in my head when I’m alone. I create these crazy ass stories and have fantasies of what I wish my life was like. I’m a professional fucking day dreamer, ha ha, yeah, but I don’t get paid for that shit. I do put on a show for these tricks though. Every night I’m somebody different. Hell, they may get Beyonce one night the next I’m a street walking Jill Scott, imagine that shit.

So here it is the last Friday of the month and I got bills to pay, so I have to attract these tricks, because I need that money. I am gonna do Jiyonce (that’s my Jill and Beyonce). I am putting on my super short blue jean shorts with my white tank top, my fire engine red pumps and lips, but my hair will be my big natural curls and I’m gonna walk that street with my left hand in the bend of my waist and my right shaking my curls, trust me this look here drive these tricks crazy and ain’t no hoe on that stroll got it like me. See, when I need to make money I give my look effort, but any other time I just hit the street, because I said my gift is my looks, so sometimes I don’t have to do nothing, because it was giving to me, but if I want my gift to work for me, I work it and it usually works in my favor.

I put my best in my looks and got my cab waiting for me to go over to my territory, these hoes don’t get that that’s my territory they are just squatters. I let them squat until I get there and then I show-up and showout. Its like I hit a runway. When I step out that cab all eyes are on me. I shine so bright on the strip the girls sit back and let me choose who I want to go with then they come out once I am gone. So, I am walking and looking, shaking my curls with my hand on my hip skinning and grinning and talking to these tricks and choosing. It was nice outside too, I was feeling myself. I was in and out back and forth. I had tricks waiting for me to come back, those tricks was waiting in line that’s crazy. I didn’t understand why, but hell I didn’t care. I was getting that money, good money too. The tricks was so excited to just have me for the moment they were offering me thousands of dollars. I got nervous though because my money was getting bigger and bigger and I ain’t got no pimp or nobody to protect me, so when I made about $6000, I had too www.onepurposemag.com |

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much money to stay out there before haters started to wonder, so I ask a trick drop me off at this nice restaurant.

So he was a good little trick and took me where I asked him. I called a cab to meet me there and when I got there the damn cab wasn’t there. See, that shit pisses me off, because I hate waiting. Maybe because I am always watching for the police because I know my shit ain’t right, but I went in the restaurant and got me a seat and a cup of coffee, hell, my day was long. It was well into the night and I know I looked tired, I was cute, but now I look whooped. As I was sipping my coffee and waiting on this slow cab to come this woman walks pass.

She was cute too. She had her nerdy look going on with her fedora and nerd glasses, her cropped pants and cute tuxedo shoes. I was eying because I admired her style. Something about her seemed so sweet and at peace.

I’m staring at her with my head down and my eyes up. I know she saw me looking, because as soon as our eyes met she smiled. It was a smile that hugged my heart. I know I’m a sitting here looking like I just got out somebody’s bed, because I have and this lady smiles at me like she’s looking at an angel, and I ain’t no angel. Then she started walking towards me and I turned my head out the window, because I didn’t want her to speak and I look up to see my cab pulling in, so I grab a $5 bill and left it on the table and darted out the door, but as I am opening the door the woman yells out to me, “hey beautiful how are you?” I slowed down and turned to her and slowly said, girl I’m good, how are you? She said, I’m cool. Now at first, I’m thinking maybe she knows what I do and she’s interested in my services, I was a little nervous, because I don’t do women, but this woman’s presence was so sweet there was no way I could tell her no, so in that moment I was at her will. She reached in her purse and pulled out a card. She said, “I want to invite you to a place where you will be loved and I am there every Sunday morning, come and kick it with me, I promise that there’s a presence that won’t disappoint you.”

I took her little card and said, thank you, and rushed to the cab. When I got there I had to ask this fool, what the hell took him so long, and he said something that I didn’t understand, but I just shook my head and looked down at the card. A church! This girl wants me to come to a church? Stepping my baby toe into that place will cause it to catch fire. I ain’t going into no church. Churches are for religious judgmental hypocrites anyway. I ain’t going into no church to set myself up to be placed on a pedestal of ridicule. Nope, I placed that ladies nice little card at the bottom of my hoe bag with my baby wipes, deodorant, powder, toothpaste and brush, and other hoe essentials.

I am tired. I get to my apartment finally and I almost did not want to pay that late ass cab driver, but I did, because I was not in the mood to argue with him. So I’m dragging my way through the courtyard, up the dark stairs into my apartment when I notice my door was open, so I yelled “oh hell nawl, some son-of-a-bitch was in my shit” so I kick the door open ready to fight, because I don’t like being violated, but no one was there. All my stuff was thrown around, couch pillows on the floor, even the refrigerator was open, and I turned my head toward my bedroom to see if they got to my room, sure enough my shit was tossed all over the place. When I saw that I knew my savings was gone. I had about $9000 under my bed in the Bible and I know it was gone. I slowly walked over there and my mattress was moved off the box spring, Bible opened faced down on the floor.

I felt so violated, nothing mattered, no clothes, TV or any of that stuff, just the simple fact that someone came into my shit and touched my stuff.

I was so broken by the fact that I had been violated, no one ever touch my shit, no one comes into my place.

I control my space and no one has a right to touch it. I give-up a part of me for everything I have, who ever did this don’t understand that my shit comes with a cost. Everything I got, every dollar I get represents a part of my body and knowing someone violated that fucks my head up. I couldn’t even comprehend it; they don’t even know what they’ve done. They don’t even know what I had to do to get it. I laid in that apartment on that mattress for seven days not moving a thing, not changing my clothes I just laid there feeling depressed. I felt like my life was snatched from under me. Everything, I gave my body for was gone. No one could give it back and even if I got it back it wouldn’t be the same because it was touched by someone else. I was sick.

I finally realized no one would come be by my side, because I shut everyone out. Hoes may recognize I haven’t been there, but they don’t care it’s more money for them. I had to pull my shit together, so I just emptied my bag and counted the money I had made the week before again to make sure nobody took it, even though it was laying in my bed with me I didn’t know what to trust anymore. Then as I am laying there, I hear someone call my name “Shonda” I walked out my room to look around and I ain’t see nobody. I just knew whoever was calling me was the person who robbed me and this time they were coming back to kill me. So I walked through

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every room, I checked the front door, I was ready, but no one was there. Then, I heard a deep voice call my name again “Shonda” I walk through my apartment again and I ain’t see nobody, shit blew my mind! Then, I just went crazy throwing stuff around, crying and screaming and blaming everybody for my life being how it was then I grabbed my hoe bag and tossed it and falling down like a damn bird feather out of the sky was the card from the lady. I picked it up and looked at the address and realized it was the church right around the corner from my apartment. I folded it tight in my hand and laid on the floor like a baby in fetal position and cried myself to sleep.

When I woke-up I had to go, I had to go to the church. I had to see that smile. I had to see that lady. I still had on the clothes she saw me in so I knew she would know me. So I slid on some tennis shoes that was in my closet they were beat and I guess they weren’t worth taking, and I ran to the church. I walked in and I thought they would be having service, but they was in classes. I walked to each door looking for that lady and I got to the last door and there she was standing in front of a group of people. I barged in and I said to her, “hey you remember me, I was at that restaurant a week ago?” She said, “of course I do, have a seat and join us.” The people in that class looked at me like I was disgusting, their eyes was staring through me. I don’t know if it was because I had eight day old funk on me or I looked like a beat-up whore, but they were not feeling me. I felt like leaving and I tried to get up but it was like a weight kept me there.

I couldn’t pay them no attention though, because I knew they would be there, so I just sat there and acted like I was listening, but I couldn’t because I needed to know what was next. I know I wasn’t there to listen to her teach about the Bible. I know I ain’t ready for that, so I just sat there, looking numb and dumb.

Then the class was over. They all stood-up and did what church folks do, they held hands to pray. Now, I ain’t no dummy, I may look dumb but I can read right through people and they all looking like who gon hold her hand, because it was obvious none of them wanted to. The lady looked at me and said join us, come hold my hand sis, and I did. They prayed their little ineffective coomby ya prayer in Jesus name and left the room.

Me and the lady stayed and talked, well she asked if she could pray with me, and at this point how I was feeling I figured it was the only thing that may be able to dig me out of my ditch, so I told her yes. It’s like she had been waiting on me, because she didn’t waste any time. She grabbed my hands and all of a sudden started to bind things in Jesus name, I mean things in me that only God himself would know. I couldn’t stand there with my eyes closed, I had to look at this lady because I need to know who she is. I couldn’t believe the things that were coming out of her mouth about me. My hurts, my shame, my past, my disappointments, my feelings of rejection and abandonment, my loneliness and fear of disappointing my parents and giving-up because I thought it was impossible, she knew it all. Next thing I know, I am on my knees in tears, crying like a baby. Then she start loosing in the name of Jesus, peace and a sound mind, love, purpose, direction, wholeness and all the stuff I felt like I did not have. She said to God to let me know everyday that I had more than just my looks and that my gifts are for him to get the glory out of my life and that I was created for a specific purpose and for him to allow all the things I had been through and done to be a testimony for others to know Him. I did not know how she knew that, how did she know that I thought my only gift from God was my looks? How did she know that I needed to know that there was more? I needed to know there was more and I didn’t know. I didn’t know where or how to find more. I didn’t know where on the inside of me to look. Next thing I know I am crying out “Father I need more of you.” “Father I need to know you are with me.” She grabbed me and held me and said, “Do you believe that Jesus died for you sins?” And I said, “Yes!” She said, “do you believe that Jesus is your Lord and Savior?” I said, “Yes!” She said, “Sister, you are saved. You do not ever have to feel alone again or hide yourself because you feel guilty. There will be work to do, but there are great things ahead for you; today, you are born again, the slate is clean.”

Two years later….I am teaching her class, won’t God do it! It didn’t come easy my mouth almost got me kickedout the church a few times. Let’s never get it confused, I am still Shonda, a work in progress, but today I am a 34-year-old Sunday School teacher, mentor and stylist, yeah I still got my flavor, all things work together for the good of those who love Christ.

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In a season of the manifestation of God’s blessings and grace, we have to bind-up and loose some things that has kept us bound to really experience the promises.

We all carry some issues from our past. Take into consideration some of the reality shows that become our guilty pleasures. We see through some of these shows toxic friendships, marriages, parental relationships and kinships. Relationships over-all are at a very critical place. This could be because so many people are harboring hurts that they have never faced or do not see as hurt. We move through life building hurt upon hurt and in doing this what we build-up we ultimately give-out.

“Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.” {Proverbs 4:23 New International Version} Many of us have not guarded our hearts. We allow ourselves to travel through sin disregarding what we allow in and what we are taking in through the process we will in turn give out. Mark 7:21 - 23 says, For it is from within, out of a person’s heart that evil thoughts come -- sexual immortality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person.

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Luke 6:45 says, A good man brings good things out of the good stored-up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored-up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

In a sermon preached at New Faith Baptist Church International in Matteson, IL the Senior Pastor, Rev. Dr. Trunell D. Felder explained to the congregation that demons are disembodied spirits, so they have to take-up residence in a host, and they do this through trauma, and if you leave it untreated it gets worse, then you have to lop it off, and when people experience trauma they can become fearful, for example, people who cannot be in healthy relationships may have had parental trauma and cannot trust anyone. There are many examples, but poor characteristics give demons a place to operate.

Buried issues manifest bad behaviors, because what you have not dealt with will eventually run you and how you live your life and how you live your life can affect other people including your children to where it can be or become a generational curse.

We can do good deeds; We can go to church; We can give to others; We can help people, but if our hearts are not right at some point those good things will only become just that, because the truth that is in your heart will manifest. For example, have you ever known someone who outside of home they are the sweetest most kind person, but once they get home they are mean, angry and bitter. Or, you see someone with the most bubbly personality then all of a sudden they turn on you and everyone around them and become angry and bitter with a grudge. Usually, there’s a buried issue there inside of them that a demonic spirit has taken dominion over, and there’s a place of hurt or trauma that they have not dealt with giving that oppressive spirit reign over that area in their life. That person is possibly not out of their mind, but negatively inflicted by the enemy. www.onepurposemag.com |

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Not in being demon possessed, but we know that the enemy come to steal, kill and destroy. We say this as believers, but do we think about what that means. If you think that or have said it then you believe that there’s a spirit that is working against you, and a way that the enemy can attack us is through our relationships. If the enemy can cause us to disagree and cause discourse amongst us then it knows that the saints cannot operate in a power of agreement, which we know are one of the most powerful tools to bring down strongholds.

Dealing with issues do hurt, it does -- that is a reality, and in the moment, it may seem like ignoring them is the easiest thing to do. However, the true reality is our issues are destroying us, hindering us from building healthy unions, raising our children, building legacies, breaking generational curses, supporting one another and our communities. We have many buried issues that manifest bad behaviors, and it is time for us to recognize the root of our own personal issues so that we can begin to come together and work together. As long as we are ignoring those deeply rooted problems the enemy will continue to run us right into hell.

We have to take authority knowing that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, so we do not have to bury our issues in a bottle, or through sex. We do not have to fall into depressions or turn to drugs to numb our hurts. We do not have to hate our child(ren) parent (in unwed) because things did not turn out how we intended. We do not have to hold a grudge toward our parents because they were not the parent’s we wanted them to be. We do not have to abuse, abandon or reject people in our relationships because that is what we feel people did to us through out our lives. All of those bad behaviors are carnal, and if the weapons of our warfare are not carnal we do not have to live these out. We can take authority over what manifest by guarding our heart’ s and filling it with the word of God.

Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” {Psalms 27:10 New International Version (NIV)}

Fear of Abandonment It is astonishing how people can go onto public sites and post things that are clear signs that there are deeply rooted issues within them, well into their adulthood and the response that they receive from other adults are responses of agreement. No encouragement, no links to good advice, but encouragement of their misery and positive reinforcement on bad behaviors. So many people use public forums to air the dirty laundry on their relationships that went south to either make who they were with look like the bad guy/girl or they go into rants about how love sucks, good people are treated badly, love is not fair, relationships are overrated and many other things that blame things and people on the outside, while never looking inside to see if the accumulation of bad relationships are partially or holistically because of a buried issue that they never faced that may make them have a hard time trusting people or effectively communicating.

Goodtherapy.org says, a fear of abandonment can cause significant impairment and result in a diminished quality of life. Abandonment is an issue that many people deal with, but sometimes live their lives without recognizing it as an issue. The trauma from abandonment typically happens as a child and we carry those issues with us throughout our lives. We grow to believe that the bad behaviors are just who we are. Goodtherapy.org says that fear of abandonment can lead to other challenges like anger, anxiety, depression, codependency and avoidance of intimacy.

Codependency, I find very prevalent now-a-days. In continuing on relationships, we see many young women being mother figures to men. When we see this, both the man and woman have a or some buried issues. A man being dependent on her mothering nurture and the woman’s desire to nurture a grown man are both

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manifested bad behaviors. Both bad behaviors stem from mother and father issues. So, you have two broken people trying to fill a void. This in turn is why you end-up having people who lusted over one another, but never truly loving each other with children and as parents they cannot get along, or people who decided to shackup, but do not like one another but both are too invested to just walk-away, or find themselves in a miserable marriage that ends with divorce. This all stems from a miscommunication neither person owning the fact that they have hurt, which creates an unspoken expectation from both in the relationship, and something unspoken most likely never discovered cannot be healed or resolved, but the bad behaviors from it will always manifest. Anytime we go into a relationships leading with our issues it’s bound to fail.

Many people like to wallow in their hurt and become the victim, some people like the attention they may get from it, some people just do not know how to leave their issues in their past without constantly replaying their hurtful circumstances over and over in their mind. But, if people look at it this way maybe they will walk away from their issues and live an abundant life. Jesus himself was too abandoned, how often do we think about that? The savior too experienced the same hurts the same pain, rejection, betrayal from people who were suppose to love him. After Jesus taught the disciples so many things, loved them and was with them when he was arrested all twelve of them abandoned him. He also may have felt abandoned by his heavenly Father, but none of these feelings stopped Jesus from what he came on earth to do. The resurrection power is in everyone of us and we receive it through Jesus Christ. It’s important guard your heart and deal with your personal traumas, but you get there by accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

PROBLEM The human dilemma ...”for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23) “...There is none righteous, not even one...” (Romans 3:10) BUT God loves us “ For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

CONFESSION A decision must be made “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.” (Romans 10:9-10) Prayer of Salvation

Dear Loving Father, I thank you for caring so much for me that you sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross for my sins. I realize that I have sinned against you and I receive your forgiveness and salvation today. I believe you are the true and living God and that Jesus Christ is the Messiah sent to set me free. I want to be used by you and receive your love, your power and your Holy Spirit into my life that my words, my life and my actions might glorify you. Thank you Jesus for coming into my heart, giving me a new life and setting me free.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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Generation HeartBreak We have degrees, but do we have careers, do we even have jobs? Are there any jobs for us for the degrees that we have acquired? If there are jobs for us, because of our degrees, are we over-qualified for them and underpaid? If we land a job after college, can we pay back the loans we borrowed to get the degree(s) our parents, teachers, mentors and society told us we would need to make it in our future? With our income-to-debt ratio (considering student loans) after college, can we buy a home? Can we start a family and be able to feed and provide for our families trusting that the corporation or company that we work for will sustain, while we are building our own families and legacies? Will we be able to walk into a company or organization with fresh ideas, being the one who is young and newly out of college, eager to put the knowledge we gained to use or will we walk into a situation where everyone is on survival mode trying to hold on to the piece of job that has been providing for them over years, maybe decades.

They call us the microwave generation, the people who do not want to work, do not want to wait, do not have patience, but we are the generation who were lied to by people whom we trusted. We are the generation who are living our lives dealing with many broken promises, like needing a college education to get a good job. We are a generation that is being forced to make something out of nothing. We are facing the aftermath of corruption, corporation and banking system’s greed and abuse, millions of dollars spent on wars on drugs and building jails and prisons over helping us fund our college education. Decades of easy living like the 1990’s with very little preparation to prevent our economy from going into a recession. We are the generation of absent fathers and working mothers.

Some of us are angry because we worked hard to find out every system that was suppose to be setup to help us have failed us. The worse of it all, we are called, lazy and told we have feelings of entitlement, but if you are told for years that if you go to college get a degree doors of opportunities would open for you, then you may have a right to feel entitled because your mind has been processed to think with a practical format...do the work, get the job, but that is not happening for many. We are ridiculed for our ambition and told we do not know how to wait, still not understanding at this point, what we are waiting for; maybe a new systematic lie that will create more barriers of debt and broken promises.

People question why the younger children only aspire to be in entertainment or sports, but over the past few decades, they’re the only publicized career paths, especially for certain demographics that have shown promise.

Just think if you were a kid and your older sibling went to college for a business management degree, but instead of finding a job related to their degree they had to settle for a job in retail and because of this circumstance they always seem to be unhappy. If children are experiencing that at home, then turn on the television to MTV Cribs to see a rapper or pro-ballers living a lavish life they are going to want to aspire to live the life of the one who seems happy with their decision....To continue reading this article go to www.onepurposemag.com ###

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ample, men, should not be moving from their mother’s ing left out! 5.Fear Of independence; 6. Marrying on house into their girl friend’s home that is out of order. the rebound -- you were hurt in a former love relationship and to ease the hurt you immediately choose When you think of being fruitful and multiplying you another; 7. Fear of hurting the other person -- you’re may think of having kids only, but we should look a bit afraid of what will happen to your fiancé if you break deeper into that since we are using the beginning to up even though you know marriage is not the anbuild healthy unions. The bible says in Genesis 1:28 swer; 8. To escape an unhappy home; 9. Because you “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be are pregnant, or your fiancé is pregnant; 10. Because fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and you have had sex. Conversely, some good reasons are subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea, companionship, to come together to fulfill your own, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing and your future mate’s needs, to fulfill sexual needs that moveth upon the earth. (King James Version) in the way God intends, love and because you are convinced that it is God’s will for you to marry this person.

Many people cannot talk about Adam and Eve without mentioning their fall into temptation, which changed For some reason, society has taught us to view being so much for us, but we forget to look at the original single as this lonely road, something no one should plan that God had for us through relationship. We see want, but yet society makes it easy for discourse, in this passage that if two people can come togeth- temptation and division to take root in marriage. er and agree that they can multiply in every neces- Do not short change your time of being single. It’s a sary area of their lives. We join into relationships great time to be in Christ, growing spiritually and eswith all of our baggage, issues, sin, guilt, heaviness, tablishing who you are for both men and women. For shame and hurt, even with all that if two people can men, it takes much to be a provider, and for women come together and agree because God had an origi- it takes very much to become a helpmate. Learning nal design for marriage, He will deliver on His word. to sacrifice in your singleness will help in marriage if that is God’s will for you. If you are growing in Christ, However, there is some prior work that has to be you will be convicted to face all those things that will done. Two people can help and support each oth- hinder agreement in partnership. We have to be coner in their spiritual growth, but one person cannot scious of our intentions for going into relationships fix another’s past. Before we go into a relationship, and how our own issues can impact the lives of othwe must reconcile our issues with our past. If you er people. We should never want someone else carryhave mommy hurt or daddy hurt, trust just might ing the weight of our past. We should also learn to be be an issue for you. That needs to be faced, how can very discerning over whom we fall for, especially when you agree if you cannot trust. Already, entering you the signs are there. It’s foolish to walk into something are working against the plan for union. If you lack you know is not of God thinking you can change it, be self-worth how can you agree with someone else. honest with the reality of the circumstance so that you By your partner depending on you to deliver in a re- will not end-up like Samson in the beginning passage lationship you cannot constantly doubt your abilities or the woman from the story above. With knowledge and be insecure in all things that you do because you through prayer, guidance through God’s word, we can were never validated as a child and that has carried be proactive in building healthy relationships over reover into adulthood, how can your partner agree active to our bad decisions. God has given us all the with you if they cannot trust that you will get the job tools that we need. We have to stop feeding our temdone, because of your lack of confidence in yourself. porary emotions that cause long-term devastation.

It seems as though many people are rushing to get ### fixed over the building and to subdue the land because let’s face it we all have issues. In a manual called, “Before I Say ‘I Do’” by H. Norman Wright and Wes Roberts, which is a book based on bible principles regarding marriage (highly recommended for engaged couples) they give a list of unhealthy reasons to get married: 1.to spite your parents; 2. Because of a negative self-image --marrying your fiancé will make you feel worthwhile and will give you meaning to your life; 3. To be a therapist or counselor; 4. Fear of bewww.onepurposemag.com |

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How to cook a turkey burger: Ingredients 1 pound lean ground turkey meat 1 ½ tablespoon onion powder 1 tablespoon black pepper 2 crushed chicken bouillon cube 1 whole yellow onion 1 Jalapeño pepper 1 tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce 2 slices of pepper jack cheese Tomato Lettuce Dijon Mustard Miracle Whip Olive Oil Whole Wheat Burger Buns

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Directions In medium bowl, combine ground turkey meat, onion powder, black pepper and crushed chicken bouillon cube and chopped jalapeños.

Cut 2 slices of pepper Jack cheese into quadrants of four Take a small portion of turkey meat and roll six small turkey balls Flatten out the turkey balls Add three pieces of cut-up pepper jack cheese on top Place flatten turkey meat on top sealing in pepper jack cheese center Cut yellow onions into ring and sauté until tender and brown Add olive oil to skillet and add turkey patties Place patted out turkey meat into preheated skillet Cook for 4 to 5 minutes flipping over meat Once meat is done, cover the skillet with lid and let meat sit in steam Take round burger bun and add mustard and miracle whip to bottom of bun Place cooked turkey meat on the bottom bun.

Take sautéed onions and place on top of meat with a slice tomato and leaf of lettuce

“Healthy competition makes you better and brings you closer...

Charan (Nia’s brother) will always be a winner to me” Nia 34 | www.onepurposemag.com

connect the youth through journalism n “Trai in child uld go, a p u e sho d he h y a l the w en he is o m it� h fro and w ot depart will n erbs 22:6 Prov

Have your youth interview a young adult in their community/church or mentoring organization who works hard to encourage, inspire and motivate others. Then, they can write a profile piece to be published at www.onepurposemag.com

if you are a parent, mentor, community leader or teacher and would like for your youth to participate, We offer online and face-to-face (for organizations & schools) mentoring sessions with a professional journalist/ reporter so that your youth will experience being a junior reporter journalist who submits professional work to an established publisher. Visit www.onepurposemag.com or call (708) 414-6843

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www.onepurposemag.com “When I was called into ministry, I was called to lead people to their purpose. That is my assignment. But, I was told that the only way that I could accomplish that is if I begin to expose people to their idols. I did not understand that at first, so I meditated on it. What was revealed to me was the knowledge that people cannot get to what God wants them to do, because they are busy putting so many things before Him, and this is referring to believers. People are putting material things, jobs, titles, emotions, degrees, relationships just carnality, before God, in doing that they cannot begin to know their purpose. The bible tells us if we seek Him and His righteousness all these things will be given to us, but first we must seek him and trust that He’s a God of order that He will place what we need to live out our divine purpose in our lives as we need them, not for our pleasure, but for His glory according to His will.� Nia Jovan Andrew, Editor-in-Chief

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