Nexus Issue 12, 2013

ISSUE 12, VOLUME 45

27 MAY 2013

Nexus goes Op ShoppiNg The WSU looks at the semester in review X-Faculty finds it’s semi finalists

Alix learns thaT when the going gets tough the tough play angry birds

29 Hood Street, Hamilton Central

Ph (07) 9811321 * Discount applies to WINTEC or Uni Waikato card holders main meal only. Max discount $25. Must present student/ staff card prior to bill payment to redeem offer. Not valid with Frequent Diner Card, Kid’s Eat Free, $9.90 lunches or any other offer or discount. Valid at Hog’s Breath Hamilton.

contents

Deputy Editors Louise Hutt & Jess Edmonds-Saunders louise@nexusmag.co.nz jess@nexusmag.co.nz News Editor zanian steele news@nexusmag.co.nz Online Editor Alix Higby online@nexusmag.co.nz

Graphic Designer Haylie Gray design@nexusmag.co.nz

Managing Editor James Raffan james@nexusmag.co.nz

Advertising Advertising Manager Tony Arkell ads@nexusmag.co.nz

Contributors C-Ball, Kathlene Cook, Daniel Petersen, Matt Hicks, Morgahna Godwin, HP, Danyell Summers, Dr Richard Swainson, Dr Burton C Bogan, Jess Molina, Caitlin Ashworth, Kelsey Weld, Kylie Zinsli, Gil Denny, Amber, Kelly Ryan, Makkala Pallesen, Ali Brady, Declan Spooner-Knight, Ashley Carmicheal, Kelly Brock, Lauren Barnard, Marianne Coleman, Greg Stack, Bevan Nichols and Aaron Letcher

issue 12 / VOLUME 45 / 27 MAY / 2013

elcom sue T

Editorial Team Editor Alix Higby editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Print Fusion Print

Nexus Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily the views of Nexus magazine, the WSU, Printers, the editor or any of our advertisers.

Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton online nexusmag.co.nz facebook.com/nexusmagNZ @waikatostudents

News

[3] News.

[5] University news.

[6] Sports thoughts.

[7] Left vs Right.

[8] Not News.

Opinion

[10] Third Degree + Guest Rant [11] Random Profile Top 10.

[12] Lettuce to the Editor.

Entertainment and Reviews [14] Film, Gig & CafĂŠ review.

Horoscopes [15] Book, Comic & Album review.

Horoscopes [16] @Honest_Matt Meets...

Gig Guide.

[17] Eight Ball.

Cool Not Cool.

[18] Puzzles [20] Feature - How to plan your OE. [22] Feature - Op Shopping 101 [24] Feature - Procrastination Station

Lifestyle

[26] Autuer + Living Cheap [27] Auditor + Dairy of a Single Girl + Google This [28] Boganology 101 + Alternative Mondays [29] Mr Minty Fish + 50 Shades of Gay + Little Beer Corner [30] X Faculty [32] Alice & Anne+ Slightly Stoned Chef [33] Arts

WSU

[34] Was This You? [35] Ask Amber + Citizens Advice Bureau [36] WSU Semester Review

1

Editorial

Editorial

Highlight Reel

By Alix Higby

this week in nexus // Pg: 20

Fear.

One glance at my bookshelf brimming with unread novels and my stomach dissipates.

If I devote one thought to the pile of course readings I paid for, but am yet to even flick the first page, I am drowned by an urgency to skip the country. The idea that I have not set aside any money for skipping the country leaves me wanting to snatch up my dog and drift away on a boat AND I DON’T HAVE A BOAT. “The more you learn, the less you know” is a crippling concept. The excitement of finding a new passion is quickly doused when you

It’s fear that causes us to linger, unsure of which task is most important. My trick is to so completely over-commit to several different projects, that the only time I can ponder the life I am missing out on, is between 12-4am when my mind won’t let my eyes sleep. If you take a breath every once in a while to appreciate what you’re quietly achieving then it kind of works. I also keep my lists to a minimum, and knock off the easy tasks first.

The fear of not knowing how or when you’re going to find time to accomplish all that you wish to, is utterly redundant. Often it doesn’t motivate, it debilitates. Ignore it, and get to

The OE Planning the big OE? We have some tips. // Pg: 22

Opshop Louise goes Op Shopping.

“When you look to the next hill you must conquer, the height is overbearing and no amount of repeat playings of Miley Cyrus’ “The Climb” will motivate you.” discover your amateur ranking within this field. When you look to the next hill you must conquer, the height is overbearing and no amount of repeat playings of Miley Cyrus’ “The Climb” will motivate you. This type of psychosis is perpetually impeding my life, and surely this affects others too. When study week swiftly arrives and you take your first taste of cramming all the lectures you didn’t attend into seven days? That’s exactly it.

work! Learn from these situations, and design to avoid stress-induced meltdowns or at least to cut down on their frequency. Offloading your mishandled responsibilities to other people will not win you any brownie points or warm fuzzies. Accept that you royally fucked up and have no concept of space and time, and deal with the consequences. You’ll feel all powerful for keeping a straight face as you clean up your own spilt milk.

We need to find a way to dissolve this mental roadblock. If we constantly measure our progress against the lengths we have to go, then we’ll never aspire to anything. Break it down. Create a checklist of things you want to accomplish within a certain timeframe. This part is easy – some people pass their time making lists with perfectly colour-coded rows only to never get up and tick them off. What’s the point in a list, if you never put it to use?

“Just finish something, anything, I beg of you!” it cries.

Don’t overthink it. If you’re freaking out because you have an exam in two days and you don’t even know the name of the class, don’t. Stop. Sit down, and sort your shit out.

Just pick a topic and learn it. You’ll be fine.

2

// Pg: 24

Procrastination Station Alix puts aside weeks worth of assignments so she can write a feature to tell you not to put off assignments. // Pg: 28

Boganology What’s in a name Burton C. Bogan finds out. // Pg: 30

Alix

X-Faculty The competition Heats uop as X-Faculty finds it’s semi-finalists.

NEWS

NEWS

Nexus asked Deputy Vice-Chancellor Alister Jones if he was aware of either the website or instances of plagiarism involving essays brought from it. Professor Jones said the university has not come across any instances of its students using Assignment4U, and was surprised to learn two University of Waikato papers were offered on the site for $5 each.

“The universities across New Zealand are very good at alerting each other to websites involving the selling of assignments or that claim to “assist” students with their assignment writing.

Essay’s for sale…..

Accusations of cheating are flying in Auckland University after it has been found that essays are being sold to students via Auckland based website Assignment4U. The website is registered to a Mr Steven Quan Li, who (according to a website run by the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment) has been a director of a number of companies; including Assignment4U Consultant Limited. This company was struck off the Companies Register in 2008.

It is believed the website is currently

“The essays would not be flagged by plagiarism software because each essay was an original work.” being operated by Ateama Limited, which is owned by Xiaohu Ren. Atema Limited Director Pengju Chen has denied any involvement with the sale and purchase of essays.

The website is written in Chinese and it has been suggested that it was targeting international students by offering essays written by tutors based both in New Zealand and overseas. The essays would not be flagged by plagiarism software because each essay was an original work.

NZQA and the New Zealand Police are investigating the website.

“Like all universities, we do come across some instances, but Waikato’s support for students is very strong and we have a virtual 0% reoffending rate for plagiarism or cheating.

“We take these matters very seriously, but we haven’t heard of any Waikato students using this website.”

...So We Tried To Purchase Some Using our crack investigative tool (Google Translate) we were able to decipher the website and found something slightly alarming. It turns out under the paper codes WU at least three essays / projects exist for sale at this campus. A Labour Studies Paper (LBST101), a Human Resources (HRMG342) and a “project” they are calling Computing Media The website lists a number of papers which you can purchase assignments for, and while Nexus does not know of any accusations of this nature at Waikato, the website does list at least two papers, LBST101 and HRMG342, at Waikato. There is also a paper listed as being at “WU”, which may be referring to Waikato University, which is simply called “Computing Media” and denotes that it is for the final project.

filling out a name, email address and phone number we were told the process had been completed. Then we received the following confirmation: Thank you for purchasing Liwen We have already started to deal with your purchase, please follow the steps below to complete the purchase process 1 Please use bank transfer payment Bank: ASB Bank Bank Account: Payment Amount: $ 15 Payment Code: 14575 (please indicate in the transfer code, so we can identify your payment When we acknowledge receipt of your payment, Email Liwen will be sent to you . If you have any questions, please contact us We did have some questions. Most of which were similar to “Why don’t you actually attach a bank account?” or “why does a cheating service need my home address?”

We decided it really would have been handy if the “Contact us” had included a contact email but we soon learned their wasn’t a single part of the site with a contact email.

We couldn’t help but feel our experience trying to cheat had left us feeling a little cheated.

...So We Consulted THE ExpertS We spoke to the Waikato Students Union Advocate Amber and Professor Alister Jones about plagiarism.

Nexus:In 2012, 173 undergraduate students were investigated for academic misconduct, of which 113 were for alleged plagiarism.

Investigations show 99 had committed some level of plagiarism. Are you getting more cases where people are seeking you out to talk plagiarism?

Obviously, being people of character and fine upstanding members of the university, we were all shocked and appalled but then someone suggested wouldn’t it be cool if we brought one. So we did, or at least we tried.

Amber: “We have had more referrals than last year and more people are using our services due to the information handout they receive in the post with their documentation. Word of mouth has also been effective.”

We used our trusty Google Translate to find and shopping cart all three items. After

Nexus: So if a lecturer thinks you have cheated or plagiarised he just fails you and 3

NEWS

then tells someone to expel you?

Amber: I believe the university has the Student Discipline meeting process in place to ensure that the student isn’t being penalised for something that possibly isn’t their fault.

Nexus: Surely the student discipline meeting process just sides with lecturers anyway right?

Amber: Every case that goes through the Student Discipline meeting process has its own situation and side of the story. This process is to ensure the student gets to explain their side of the story, explain how they went about doing their assessment items and stops lecturers from giving penalties without a full investigation. The process is to be fair for the student but if misconduct was to be found in anything then penalties are to be issued out accordingly.

Thought We Would Ask You Questions: 1. Have you ever been offered a chance to cheat?

2. Do you know of anyone who has cheated?

3. Would you buy an essay online if you didn’t think you would get caught?

Lisa, 21 1. If I did, I would ignore them 2. No

1. No 2. No 3. No Jason, 25 1. Yes. Offered the answers for an up and coming test from a person in my class 2. I don’t know of anyone else who has been offered an opportunity to cheat, but I guess its the kind of thing you keep pretty close to your chest.

3. No. I can do it better.

Sophie , 18 1. Yes, I got sent an email offering to “proof read” my essay and make significant changes 2. I know lots of people who have cheated.

Mostly just simple stuff like writing dates and names on their hands in history.

We asked this with Professor Jones what systems the university had in place to deal with plagiarism and received the following statement

Tristan, 20 1. Yes but it was only some computer code for a lab assignment

3. Yeah, I’d buy an essay if I was stressed out enough and didn’t think id get it done in time. I know you can buy them online, but I don’t know if I’d trust the content? I’d maybe use it as a base and make changes.

2. Yes and they got caught

By Daniel Farrell and James Raffan

The university uses Turnitin, a software programme for finding plagiarised work.

But often, instances of plagiarism or cheating are detected because the piece or work is demonstrably not the student’s own work, when compared to other assignments they have submitted. “This is also one of the reasons we ensure our students face a range of assessments, including the types of assessments that ensure that the work submitted is their own, such as exams, tests, and participation in tutorials.”

3. Probably not, I’d rather learn the stuff, it’s what I pay for

Professor Jones says the university’s Student Discipline Committee plays an integral part by allowing for close monitoring of patterns of behaviour. “This helps us provide ongoing protection for the university’s reputation for quality and means our students can be confident in the rigour of a degree from the University of Waikato.”

The university has connected with the IPPHAE project (Impact of Policies for Plagiarism in Higher Education Across Europe), and has been keeping close watch on sites such as Freelancer.com as well as monitoring other avenues for potential assignment fraud.

...So Finally We 4

3. No, I wouldn’t

Brad, 20 1. I don’t go on websites that dodgy 2. No 3. No Jayde, 20 1. Yes 2. Yes 3. No Caitlin, 21 1. Yeah a few times because there has been leaflets in lecture theatres offering notes and past essays for a price, and there have been ads online and actually through one of the University of Waikato Facebook pages for sites that claim to hire specialists to write your assignments for a price 2. I know other people who have had similar opportunities but no one who has used on of those sites 3. I wouldn’t use one because I think, even if I was under massive pressure, I would do a better job and it’s not worth jeopardising your entire career and reputation getting caught paying for someone else to write a 30% assignment for you.

Holly, 20

NEWS

UNI A SEMESTER EXAMS NEWS

The 2013 A Semester Examination Timetable is now available online – please check your exam timetable carefully. timetable.waikato.ac.nz/exams/ For more information email exams@waikato. ac.nz or phone 07 838 4466 extn 8018.

SCHOLARSHIP DROP-IN SESSIONS

FREE SUSTAINAbILITY NEWS & INFO

Looking for advice on scholarships? The University of Waikato Scholarships Office is holding a series of scholarship drop-in sessions for all students and staff. The sessions will be held every Tuesday and Thursday from 12.30–2.30pm in the Student Centre, room 2.31 (next to the Student Administration desk).

Interested in free resources and news on sustainability in education? ACTS aims to inspire, promote and support change towards best practice sustainability within the operations, curriculum and research of the Australasian tertiary education sector.

ARbOR DAY PLANTINg Hamilton’s 2013 Arbor Day planting is being held at Waiwhakareke Natural Heritage Park, a 60-hectare ecosystem reconstruction project on Brymer Road (opposite Hamilton Zoo) on Friday 31 May from 10am–1pm. As a partner, the University is sending a team of volunteers to help put 25,000 plants in the ground.

IT’S YOUR FUTURE Current students, add your 2013 B Semester papers now.

Or, if you’re looking to further enhance your career options and start a postgraduate qualification, talk to your Faculty today.

To add papers visit iWaikato, or for more information about enrolment for B Semester, drop into the Student Centre.

As a member of ACTS, all Waikato University staff and students have access to resources, knowledge, developmental and networking opportunities. To take advantage of the membership, and access member-only resources, visit www.acts.asn.au and create an account by registering using your Waikato email address. Or contact info@acts.asn.au for help.

Register at parksopenspaces@hcc.govt.nz or call 07 838 6622 – make sure to state that you’re coming from the University of Waikato.

Get a seat on the free bus from the University when you register.

WORLD SMOKEFREE DAY – 31 MAY Friday 31 May is World Smokefree Day. With the University campus going Smokefree from 1 January 2014, now is the time to quit.

To make the transition to a Smokefree environment easier, ambassadors will be roaming the Village Green on World Smokefree Day with information about quitting.

A 5

NEWS

SPORTS THOUGHTS

I BET I CAN RACE AROUND THIS TRACK 161 TIMES, FASTER THAN YOU.

There is an uncommon and deeply damaging fallacy whispering around the University campus, and that is that those behind sports thoughts dislike motorsports because people drive aggressively. Let me make this crystal clear, while I can’t speak for who wrote the piece about F1, I myself dislike motorsport in general because it is truly an embarrassment to the human race. Potentially, since I haven’t had time to enter my laboratory and calculate the sheer stupidity of such a sport, it could be worse than Netball thanks to such brilliant examples of human de-evolution like Bathurst.

In the beginning, God or the big bang created everything. Adam and Eve appeared, the apple was consumed and for the most part, our eyes were opened to everything.

Everything, except how utterly shit motorsport is. When Henry Ford first invented the car, I doubt he had any idea his invention for helping people get from point A to B would one day become a careless and ultimately unsustainable piece of entertainment for the white trash.

But the white trash love carelessness, almost as they love to ignore sustainability, so they came up with a shit hot idea. Take these beautiful machines we operate to get places, and instead of using them to get places – race them. After all, oil grows on trees and there’s nothing better than watching forty similar vehicles drive around the same loop of track 160 times. I really don’t see the attraction of Bathurst. It’s kind of like Iron Man 3, over hyped but if you could believe it, even more boring. Worse than that, people crowd the track and jump on their couches in the bucket loads to watch two identical brands of car race each other, then pick their favourites as if there are obvious differences.

Unfortunately, if you think Ford or Holden 6

is better than the other, you could quite possibly be insane. The two brands are nigh identical, exist to take advantage of the same exact niches, and somehow manage to create brand loyalists who argue over which is better. Insanity at its finest.

However, more insane than that, is actually continuing to support a sport like V8 supercar racing which is basically a complete and utter waste of a natural resource. For example, Bathurst is held every year and features in excess of 30 cars (all basically the same) racing around over 6km of track, completing 161 laps before a winner is crowned. Imagine all the fuel required for this, then imagine all the preliminary races that occur. Then, imagine every single

don’t actually do fuck all in the pits, let alone would they know how to change a tyre. Hell, I don’t even know how to change a tyre, and if I did, wearing tight revealing leather would be the absolute last thing I factor into completing the deed. At least other sports don’t hide the fact that people want to see legit women. They call them cheerleaders, and get them to dance. Pit girls don’t do anything.

What happened to evolution? I thought we were meant to get smarter. Instead, we’ve allowed a brainless and utterly disadvantageous activity like motorsport to continue, even taking it to extreme lengths of allowing those running events like Bathurst to

“...since I haven’t had time to enter my laboratory and calculate the sheer stupidity of such a sport, it could be worse than Netball thanks to such brilliant examples of human de-evolution like Bathurst.” motorsport event held in a calendar year, and think about how much oil is burnt within hours so that people with nothing better to do can crunch beer cans on their skulls and spend a whole day sitting in a stand to see three seconds of action as the cars zip past and continue along the track.

Wicked.

For anyone that has ever told me cricket is boring, I tell them to go watch some motorsport. I don’t question the drivers’ skills or sheer audacity, but the actual concept itself.

Attending a motorsport event is essentially paying a ridiculous amount of money to catch the odd glimpse of action, and be surrounded by undesirables. If you’ve been to any racing event, you know the people I’m talking about. Even the event organisers know the fans they are dealing with are a bunch of utter gremlins. They dress up pit girls in tight leather, PIT GIRLS, who

laugh their tits off when they serve up two identical cars for fans to cheer and bitch about. You’ve all heard that person bashing a Ford and saying someone who owns one is inbred. It’s a dumbass statement to even begin differentiating between Ford and Holden, and if you do this, you are a moron. The fans at these events are most grotesque bunch of hicks imaginable. They lope around with their cameras taking snaps of the girls as if anyone even watches two dimensional pornography anymore, all the while talking about how sick going to St Johns College was.

Bathurst might not be so bad if the pit girls got involved and tried to change a tyre.

People would crash and burn, limbs would get maimed and the whole event would actually be worthwhile. So, to clarify – Motorsport is balls. Westside.

C-Ball

vs

Left

Left vs Right THIS WEEK’S TOPIC:

Is the government justified passing tax reform under urgency?

Anyway, enough of that. We’re talking about tax reform under urgency, not the failings of the New Zealand political system. Yes, the Government passed a whole bunch of legislation under urgency. Yes, some of it opens the Government to some very legitimate criticism. But the question you need to ask yourself is what difference would passing this outside of urgency

Unnecessary, high petrol taxes, gawd it’s like we’re living in the Soviet Union, right Steven Joyce? The petrol tax increases that the National Government is pushing through urgently at the moment are needed because of the huge tax cuts given to New Zealand’s top earners in 2010.

So every time you have to top up your car, or pay more for your bus ticket over the next three years, and it’s a struggle - you can be comforted in the knowledge that it’s the necessary sacrifice we all have to make so that some wealthy person can buy a second beach house, a nicer car or European holiday. The official reason given by Gerry Brownlee is that the money will be going back into roads of national significance, and that a strong road system is needed for our economy to grow.

There are three things wrong with this.

Firstly a strong economy grows with competitive exports; that means competitive primary industries and manufacturing sector, which is achieved through low production cost transport being a big part of this. How do you transport these goods when you have no alternative rail system?

It has to be by road which is now going to cost 59.5 cents per litre more by 2015.

Secondly there would be more justification if there was actually a huge problem with our roads that needed fixing urgently; there isn’t. The Automobile Association has come out and said there is no need for the government to raise the petrol tax to pay for roads. There is already $1 billion dollars more than needed being levied by ACC and

make? Sure, there was no Select Committee process, but that seldom results in law being substantively changed or failed. The tax reform would still have passed, and the Government would still be ending up with 3 more cents in every litre of petrol every year for the next three years.

this would add a further $900 million to be taken from New Zealander’s pockets.

It’s clear we will just tax ourselves back into surplus rather than make any innovative changes to inequality or the way our economy functions.

Finally this policy going through urgently is merely a trick to prevent submissions being made on it. The ability to pass bills through urgently ought to be just that, used in urgent situations rather than just a mechanism to stifle discussion and prevent the proper democratic process being followed (like the Sky City deal). Roads aren’t urgent. Auckland public transport system and traffic problems unsurprisingly are.

In 20 years there will be deadlock because that’s what happens when you build urban sprawl instead of a real city with a functioning train/metro/bus system. Passing this bill through urgently means there is less public scrutiny on how this huge amount of money will be spent, but it seem far more likely that all of us will be footing the bill for a metro system rather than it actually fixing roads in your area. Oh and for all you pseudo-environmentalists out there, this isn’t going to get droves of people to stop driving cars as without an alternative (which the government won’t spend money on) people will have no choice but to sacrifice other things.

Could be worse I guess, you’re rights could be taken away like what’s also happening with the Public Health and Disability amendment bill (look it up, it’s truly disgusting.)

who didn’t bother to vote. Get them voting and you’ll probably be good, because it’s probably wacky conspiracy theorist douchebags who aren’t voting anyway, and they’ll probably be voting left with the rest of the wacky douchebags.

RIG

You know, it’s sort of ironic that after years of Michael Cullen refusing to give tax cuts, Labour are now complaining that the National Government are putting up taxes. Let’s be honest though (unusual for politics, I know), politics in New Zealand, particularly for the two major parties, isn’t about what they feel is right. It’s about putting forward policy at an election, getting voted in, and if not, spending the next three years saying “NO, YOU’RE WRONG” as loudly and obnoxiously as you can.

NEWS

The tax needed to increase. The Government, whether it’s right or wrong, is putting an emphasis into roads. They had the same emphasis on road in their previous term, and they successfully campaigned on that during the last election.

If people don’t want that, they should have ensured the National Party did not get into Government.

And because I’m nice, here’s a tip. If you want to try and stop someone from getting into power, it might be a good start in talking to the 25.79% of registered voters

7

NEWS

NOT NEWS A Quick Public Service Announcement From Nexus

Fraulein Barbie Not Exactly Living The Dream German protesters interrupted the opening of Barbie’s Dream House theme park in Berlin claiming that Barbie portrayed an unreal and unnatural expectation of woman. These “Femi-Nazis” (too soon?) suggested the Barbie archetype didn’t reflect real life and society. By which we can only assume that they mean pretty blonde doctors can’t also have a stable home life, a great long term relationship, a convertible and a beach house.

Three things are important here: 1. Protest real injustice in theme parks.

For instance Disneyland features Goofy, a talking dog who gets all the rights and privileges of anyone else in the Disney kingdom,

except Pluto a non talking dog who gets chained up and lead around by a mouse.

Where is your outrage on that?

2. Protesting Barbie is a distraction from the real anti-feminist brainwashing of kids.

Last week Pixar took the character Merida from Brave and did altered her to make her look more like a princess so she could fit in with the rest of the Disney harem.

3. Perhaps most importantly when did the fucking German’s start getting upset about people creating the expectation that the blonde haired and blue eyed people are societies perfect people. I mean seriously…

Germany!

When we first read the title “The man who fucked the hornets nest” we thought it was a sequel to “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”. Instead it was an article about a Swedish man who had died while making love to a hornets nest. We had some laughs.

We wondered if you had to work your way up from Bumble Bees.We even suggested it gave Aristophanes epic ancient Greek play “The Wasps” a whole new spin (mainly because we really are geeks). Then a few days later the mainstream media had to spoil our fun. The whole thing was a hoax

“...the media is sending out a clear message that making love to a hornets nest will not kill.” and respectable news organisations had gotten to the truth but it does make you wonder what news organisations were doing clearing up internet rumours. Even worse than that is that they may have done more harm than good. If they had left the hoax as folklore no one would ever doubt it. Now though the media is sending out a clear message that making love to a hornets nest will not kill. We can’t wait for that episode of “Student Job Search’s next big challenge”

8

Bloods Vs Crips is kids stuff In the murky world of gang violence people will always highlight the deaths of Pac and Biggie as ones that changed the game and started to quell the East coast vs West Coast battle. Unfortunately an even more fierce battle raged on last weekend at the University of East Anglia, Norwich as police were called to separate feuding Star Wars and Doctor Who fans at a sci-fi convention. Details were a little sketchy but we

would suspect that this was a Guinness world record breaker for “most frequent use of asthma inhalers in a gang battle.” We honestly don’t know what was worse, The Doctor fans armed with a bunch of screwdrivers not stabbing people with them or the Star Wars fans spending an hour with police getting angrier by the minute as they wave their hands in front of them repeating “These are not the fans you are looking for.” You know life is bad when the specky seven year old kids and gingers with wands are making fun of you. Besides everyone knows that star trek fans would kick all of their arses. Let the lettuce writing begin in 3…2…1...

NEWS

OAS REPORT SAYS LEGALISE IT: NO ONE SHOCKED The Organization of American States, a 60 year old entity with charter members such as Canada, Mexico and the USA

have released a report suggesting that the drug war be ended and that Marijuana be decriminalised. While we have no morale objection to the finding it should be recognised that the OAS also includes nations like Jamaica, Trinidad and Tobago, Nicaragua, and Columbia where the study was first commissioned. So to restart this story: A bunch of Rastafari asked Columbia whether they should decriminalise weed which is kind of like asking KFC if fried chicken is delicious.

The Driving Dead

THIS WEEK ON TWITTER...

“Hell is an eternity of being sober in a room full of drunk people.” @Schmoodles “‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, say as much as you can.’ - the internet” @prodigalsam “Good luck making the Instagram most viewed page if you’re not an adorable Japanese teenager eating frozen yogurt.” @DamienFahey

A tennessee man accused of causing several accidents and injuring a multitude of people while driving erratically and at speed had his court date recently. His defence? Fleeing zombies. Let that man go free. Give him a cricket bat because when the revolution comes we want him on our side.

“when you write a word and it looks wrong but it’s right and you just sit there and contemplate life” @pradacid ““Can I shit here?” ---- Sean Connery trying to make friends at the park but making enemies inshtead.” @SaraESpivey

MEME OF THE WEEK

“imagined Beyoncé taking a dump and it ruined my morning” @IamEnidColeslaw “If i ever become a vet, I’m naming my clinic “Bitches get Stitches.”” @rennajeeder “Do they really need to add ‘Alive’ to ‘Sexiest Man’ or am I grossly underestimating the number of necrophiliacs in the world?” @jasonmustian “The penis mightier than the sword. haha penis.” @skanktweets “I was just told I’m someones BFF. Being the idiot I am, I had to google it. Backup-file Format is a euphemism for something hot right?” @MadAxes “The cashier is telling me to “have a nice day,” but judging by her tone she wants me to “die in a tire fire.”” @IamEnidColeslaw

trivial facts On average, cats spend 2/3 of every day sleeping. So a nine-year-old cat has been awake for only three years of its life.

After pornography, ancestry websites are the most commonly visited sites on the

Internet. Each one of us has around 6.7 billion relatives.

“If someone writes “you are” I immediately assume that they don’t understand the difference between you’re/your and are playing it safe.” @LaurenRP

The most tattooed man is Gregory Paul McLaren. He is 100% tattooed, including the inside of his foreskin, mouth, and ears.

“I call seahorses just ‘horses’ and the brown, cloppity ones ‘landhorses’.” @wowser

In the online dating world, women are afraid of meeting a serial killer. Men are afraid of meeting someone “fat.”

“I bet a zombie would be really, really disappointed to find out a “brainstorm” is not really a storm of brains.” @MauriceBlitz 9

oPINION

THIRD DEGREE GUEST RANT Questions 01_ Where is the furthest you’ve travelled?

02_ What’s your procrastination go to?

03_ Your most loved pre-loved item?

The recent Budget confirms New Zealand is on the right track. It builds on our Business Growth Agenda, provides more support for families, and forecasts more economic growth, more jobs and rising wages.

Iraq.

Our responsible financial management will see the government return to surplus in 2014/15 and start paying off debt, while spending $5.1 billion over four years on new initiatives in science and innovation, health, education, welfare, housing and tourism promotion. There’s also an extra $2.1 billion bringing the Government’s share of the Christchurch rebuild to around $15 billion.

02_ Video games mostly.

03_ A Sweater

New Zealand needs a stronger economy to earn its way in the world, and create more jobs and opportunities.

Mohammad 21, BA.

01_ The furthest from here?

We’re delivering better public services and more help for vulnerable families. We’re almost doubling funding to tackle rheumatic fever.

We’re insulating 46,000 more homes for lowincome families. We’re providing $198 million over four years to help beneficiaries find work.

And we’re helping at-risk children get early childhood education, with encouraging results.

Stevie 20, BA

01_ Which is further, Fiji or Raro?

In health, there’s $1.6 billion over four years for new initiatives and to meet cost pressures. Total health spending will reach a record $14.7 billion next year.

02_ I bake.

03_ My cat - he was the neighbor’s cat and then they ditched him.

Jessica 18, BA

01_ Argentina.

02_ Facebook.

03_ A ring from my boyfriend does that count?

10

Budget builds momentum to a brighter future.

We’re investing in skills to help young people fulfil their potential.

Spending across education, including tertiary, will increase next year to $12.4 billion.

Budget 2013 builds momentum towards a stronger, more stable economy that can better weather global storms and deliver more opportunities, higher incomes, and more jobs. It continues our work to build a brighter future for Kiwi families.

Tim Macindoe, National MP for Hamilton West

OPINION

RANDOM PROFILE

TOP TEN Top Ten things to know about the Eurovision Song Contest.

10_

Eurovision was started in 1956

by Marcel Bezençon, and is one of the longest running television shows in the world.

Tomás García Ferrari

09_ ABBA, Julio Iglesias and Celine Dion have all gone onto international fame after being a part of Eurovision.

What do you do at the University of Waikato?

I lecture at the Computer Graphic Design programme.

What did you do before this?

I work as a design consultant for more years than I can remember, based in Argentina, Germany and for sometime in New Zealand; I have taught in different areas of Design and Typography at the University of Otago, the Burg Giebichenstein (in Halle, Germany) and the University of Buenos Aires.

If you could meet any three people, dead or alive, who would you choose?

John Lennon, Sir Tim Berners Lee and my grandfather.

What’s your favourite thing about Hamilton in winter?

Winter is definitely not my season and I haven’t been in Hamilton in winter yet…

Can I pass without noticing both the question and the winter?

Most anticipated movie of 2013?

“Despicable me 2” If you could go on a paid holiday to anywhere in the world right now, what places would you choose to go to?

Any subtropical island with golden sands and a warm sea. And then some days in New York, London, Paris or Berlin. But wait… I still have to see Asia! iPhone or android?

Both: iPhone for its elegance and Android for its affordability.

What’s the best meal you’ve ever

eaten?

A roasted lamb, cooked by myself in the traditional argentine way.

If you could bring back any TV show, which would you choose?

CHiPs. I would really like to see how Jon Baker and Ponciarello got older and keep running on their bikes. What? New actors?

No way!

What’s your go-to procrastination activity?

I wonder what I was doing before YouTube…

If you were to recommend a book or film that everyone should read, what would it be?

For a movie, “Blade Runner”. For a book, anything from Jorge Luis Borges. For a comic book, “Mafalda” from Quino.

Wheat bags or electric blankets?

Both. One is bringing memories from my early childhood and the other one is just better.

What do you listen to in the car on the way home (radio? Specific CD? Silence?)?

These days, indie music from the Music Alliance Pact, a team of blogs from the world that each month collectively post recommended tracks.

Any words of wisdom for students slowly drowning in a sea of assignments and deadlines?

“Do not panic. Do not panic! We are trained professionals. Now, stay calm. We are going around the leaf…” (with all due respect to “A bug’s life”).

08_ In 1969, four countries all tied for first place - France, Spain, Netherlands and the United Kingdom.

07_ Fifty-one countries have participated in the country, however not all those who are eligible have.

06_

To be eligible to enter Eurovision, you must be within the European Broadcasting Area or a member state of the Council of Europe.

05_ Eurovision is estimated to have between 100 million and 600 million viewers internationally.

04_ Ireland hold the title for most Eurovision wins, with seven titles.

03_ In 2005, Ukraine abolished its normal visa requirement for visitors from the EU to coincide with its hosting of the event.

02_ Finland won it’s first title in 2006 after participating in Eurovision for 45 years .

01_

Countries are unable to vote for their own entries, but do tend to vote for other countries which have a similar culture to their own.

11

OPINION

LETTUCE TO THE EDITOR. Nexus loves getting your letters. We also love it if they are funny, intelligent and well written. Mainly we will be happy if you keep them under 250 words, it saves us having to cut them down. Please remember to give us a real name when you send them in even if you want to write with an alias. Email us at Lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz or... facebook.com/nexusmagNZ

Have you seen this Man. Hi, Who is that guy that you see EVERYWHERE? He is kind of tall, at least 40, long-ish hair, looks a bit homeless. I’m sure many of you know who I’m talking about. He usually walks with a bottle of coke but not always. We call him ‘Zodiac’ because he reminds us of a serial killer like the Zodiac Killer.

I see this guy walking around the Uni area at the most random times. I feel like he is everywhere at once? All I want to know is: does he even go to Uni? If there are any friends of his please let us know. Or even better, Nexus should do a profile of him.

Ping Ping

Be smarter university.

Dear Nexus, Why doesn’t the University of Waikato have an app yet?! I understand they’re not the most technologically savvy bunch (yes, we can all tell you use the Final Cut presets to make all your YouTube videos) but why can’t they get some of their Comp Sci graduates to make an app so I don’t have to use fucking Chrome to access Moodle. Or if Moodle’s too hard, what about one for my timetable.

Victoria and Canterbury have one ffs.

Yours sincerely, Irritated smartphone user.

Can’t we all just get along?

Hey Nexus, 12

#nexuslettuce.

Things kind of suck lately. Assignments are piling higher and higher, my bank account is getting smaller and smaller and I think I could do with a hug. I don’t think I’m the only one either. Group hug? Village green? Cultural hour?

See you there, Miserable student.

Inactivity in activities.

Hey lettuce Why isn’t the WSU doing campaigns that really matter to students, for example bringing back standby fares so we can get home cheaper or lowering the price of food on campus. It is fair I guess to say they must have a lot on their plate given they are busy maintaining there super secretive status / club but seriously wheres the action? Instead of writing open letters about boring things that have already happened how about addressing our present issues like where is the life on campus!!

Yours I would hide but from who, campus is dead!!

What about ratepayers, business owners , they struggle to increase staff wages as the cost of rates go up. Yet that fat cat at the top seems to have so much extra cash to throw around. I struggle to accept a job that is designed to be minimum wage should have a pay rate of a middle management in private enterprise.

My understanding is that there is surplus in the staffing budgets due to staff resignations, what happens when those staffing vacancies are filled? What happens if the council need to employ more staff above the current staffing level? The council have once again struggled to think logically and feasibility with there latest decision. BUDGET BLOW OUT is what I see. What does that mean? higher rates, which means higher rental prices for students!

Jason Howarth

C-Ball can suck my balls.

Sports thoughts is fine and shit, you have some decent quality rants but you’re wrong about Man City. The oil drillers took over and they want to make some money. If they are going to let Mancini spend a shit load of money every year bying players from arsnal and chealsea then they should expect something for their investment.

It’s called capitalism.

Mancini didn’t deliver he got sacked. If they fired me from the supermarket I can’t turn around and go “I know I have been rubbish this whole year but last 12 months ago I was employee of the year.” It’s cool that he won a title but stop living in the past bro. You don’t want to turn into liverpool. Also I tried slightly stoned chef. You can’t make a chocolate cake when you are that baked.

Rasta soccer striker

Minimum wage hack.

Hey, Just a letter about city council The council are set to increase wages for minimum wage staff by 33.8%. I mean no disrespect to those who benefit from the increase but there will be a follow on effect, in which other staff who may currently be on that rate will be seeking an increase in their wage by 33.8%.

DISCLAIMER Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech.

NOTICES

Clubs Noticeboard Toastmaster’s Club I would like to create a Toastmaster’s club at the University of Waikato.

I need 20 members (both students and staff) to register interest.

Please contact Moses, mosescherrington@gmail.com

Lake Restoration Team Hey everyone!

It’s time to help save Lake Okoroire! Become an eco warrior for a day and help plant 6,000 native trees to help reduce nutrient run off.

Without these trees Lake Okoroire will die within the next 50 years.

The planting day will be held on Saturday 22th & Sunday 23rd of June at Lake Okoroire. 9.30-4.30 each day. lake.restoration.team@gmail.com

HS Club

HS CLUB BAKE SALE “Sweeten Your Day”

FUNDRAISING FOR THE HIMALAYAN TRUST WEDNESDAY THE 29th OF MAY 10am - 2pm on the Village Green

Proudly Supported by

13

entertainment & reviews

GIG

Beastwars and Viking Weed LIDO CINEMA film

Song for Marion

Static Bar - 17th of May

pay & cafÉ

HAZEL HAYES

Rating:

Rating: This cutesie little café definitely not just met but exceeded expectations.

The film moves at a good pace, and the elderly members of the choir are lovely, even if some of the jokes are a little overdone at their expense. While I had immediately lumped this film into ‘The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel’ category (heartwarming comedies aimed at the Baby Boomer generation), it does have an audience beyond the demographic represented in the choir. It speaks a lot about the nature of grief and how we deal with losing the ones we love. But bring tissues, lots of tissues.

Static Bar is no doubt the kind of bar that punks drool over. Cosily small, the walls are adorned with posters and images of international bands like The Cramps. Also spread all over the walls are trippy posters advertising local acts – good to see a bar that supports local talent. It’s a great place, you should go there. On the 17th the bar hosted local act Viking Weed who were supporting one of New Zealand’s top bands (of any genre) at the moment, Beastwars. Viking Weed are always good. For those who haven’t heard them yet, they’re the chugging head banging type of music that bogans love. Even more impressive at this gig was that their guitarist pulled out two days before the gig and was replaced by a guy called Andreas who had to learn everything by scratch. I’ve seen them play a few times and the song Elephant Man is by far the best. Then Beastwars - they are a wall of noise. Usually this is aimed at bands as an insult, but in this case it’s a compliment.

Sonically all the different parts – vocals, guitar, bass, drums – come together and attack the senses. Okay I’ll stop being wanky, but they put on an excellent show. Combining both their old stuff, with the self-titled debut, and their new stuff, the recently released “Blood Becomes Fire”, they have to be seen and heard to be believed. No wonder their second album almost toppled Michael Boob-lay (misspelling intentional) at the top of the album charts. My only criticism was that the singer looks like he’s trying to take a crap in a discotheque – but to see someone so colonically invested certainly adds to the experience. A great time had by all.

By Louise Hutt

By Burton C Bogan

By Cait Cresswell

ARIES

taurus

gemini

(21 mar - 20 apr)

(21 apr - 21 may)

(22 may - 21 june)

It’s the last week: Surely attendance is optional.

It’s the last week: But new Kronic might still be too big a risk.

It’s the last week: Tell her how you feel.

Rating: You need iron tear ducts to go see Song For Marion. Never before have I cried through an entire movie. Song For Marion is basically a Hollywood version of the 2007 documentary Young @ Heart, which is about a choir of mature singers who cover contemporary pop songs. You can’t blame them for making a Hollywood version, as there is something uncomfortably hilarious about hearing a group of 80 year olds singing “let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me”.

Terence Stamp plays Arthur, a grumpy pensioner who is dealing with the reality of losing his wife to cancer. He plays the quintessential “cranky old man”, which is why his character is so heartbreaking to watch. His estranged son, excellently played by Christopher Eccleston, only adds to Arthur’s worries. Jemma Arterton is the sweet choir director, Elizabeth, but doesn’t stand out, letting Terence Stamp and Christopher Eccleston shine.

It’s decorated in an old school style with sweet little re-made stools and funny looking fans scattered around. My favourite decoration was placed right by where we were seated. There was a little collection of old school cars that sat in a cluster on the ledge.

Being a coffee fanatic and liking possibly one of the hardest coffees to make I always judge a café on how nice its soy lattes are and will go back accordingly. Thankfully, Hazel Hayes aced my coffee so I would definitely go back.

I had the scone that the lovely man behind the counter recommended. It was a combination of spinach and capers I think and despite not being a scone lover I thought it was delicious!

My date tried a muffin and assured me it was “moist and fluffy” after being prompted to expand on the description of “good.”

The staff were friendly and efficient without being in your face.

Gluten free and vegetarian options are available and prices are very reasonable for a café.

Overall I would definitely recommend it to anyone asking.

It is a little bit out of the way for us Hillcresters, but if you are in the north end of Vic St check it out!

HOROSCOPES

14

entertainment & reviews

book

A Great and Terrible Beauty

By Libba Bray Rating: A Great and Terrible Beauty is book one of the Gemma Doyle trilogy. It’s a supernatural novel that takes place in 1895 London, England; when girls are taught how not to feel and are considered useful only to look at and/or fornicate with.

Gemma is the story’s protagonist: a strong and assertive 16 year old girl who is moved from her life in India after her mother dies.

Gemma has strange visions of a black cloudlike thing and a creepy little girl with a doll that she doesn’t understand, and frankly I don’t either. When in London, Gemma is sent away to a finishing school to learn skills such as drawing, singing, and waltzing, all fine qualities in a submissive historic women.

When Gemma makes friends with the freaky outsider Ann and a couple of typical bitchy girls (you know the type) the story quickly evolves its supernatural plot to include magic and switching between realms. I confess.

I am a supernatural teenage fiction fan, but the story didn’t really cut it for me in the paranormal department; the descriptions of the realms were unfocused and confusing, making it hard for me to picture what was happening.

A huge plotline with her mother, a hot guy with big eyes and a knife, and the black cloudlike thing I mentioned earlier ensues. Gemma and her friends make obviously bad decisions and screw everything up. I still don’t completely understand the ending.

So. A Great and Terrible Beauty is an okay read if you’re into supernatural stuff, but don’t expect anything too great. Defo better than Twilight though.

MARC ONE COMIC

Locke & Key Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez Rating: I had heard of the title Locke & Key a few times around the interweb lately and wondered what the big deal was. Surely a series starring two B-list Marvel characters couldn’t be that good? Once I realised I was confusing Locke & Key with Cloak & Dagger I endeavoured to find out.

Wow. This is good comics.

The story opens with a knock at the door.

We are witness to a conversation between an unknown woman and some teenage kids.

As they talk, the full scene is revealed to us; we can see what the women cannot, that two very bloody bodies are in the back of the boy’s pick-up truck. It’s a simple scene, but the creative team nails it. Instantly the tension spikes and it doesn’t really ever let up. The key to good horror stories is in the mystery, not knowing what is lurking in the shadows, a slow bleed as the plot quietly unravels. In this sense, Locke & Key is a huge success. The tension is unbearable at times, gripping you at once and refusing to let go as it builds.

What strikes you about Joe Hill’s writing is that the story flows so naturally. Pitch-perfect dialogue and snappy pacing insure that it’s such an easy read, that you, as the viewer, are witnessing these events as if they were a movie. This is helped by the art, which is crisp and eerily cold. Rodriguez perfectly captures the facial expressions needed to sell the horror and, really, my only concern with the art was that at times it’s a little too ‘cartoony’ given the book’s premise.

By Daniel Petersen

album

Dying Slow Louie Knuxx Rating: I don’t know what happened in the middle there, but New Zealand hip hop is coming back to the fore. Louie Knuxx was a victim of the lull in some ways. His debut album was released in 2009 and those who saw something vital in his craggy deep vocals have been waiting for more from him since. He has been a star-guest appearance with the likes of PNC and Tourettes, but solo work has been a long time coming. Well, Dying Slow is the latest EP and an attempt at laying his cards on the table.

The first song on this EP starts with a throwback to the cliché hip hop “skit” formats. Not a good sign of things to come. A good song begins or ends with some rambling and it interrupts. But really, that’s a production issue.

Knuxx himself maintains a steady flow, a gritty outlook and is able to traverse lyrical content swiftly and aptly. Knuxx’s flow has always meant catching all his punch lines and similes requires a close ear, which in turn results in a surprised face when you realise some of the more obtuse subject matter he revels in.

Some might be put off by the macho sentiments that at times come across as straight misogyny and others will be surprised to hear a Wu Tang Clan refrain mid-song, but, like the skits, they don’t interrupt what is a deliberate and skilled master of ceremonies bringing an edge to NZ hip hop music.

By Briana Stewart

http://www.mk1.co.nz/ www.facebook.com/Mark1Comics

By Hp

cancer

leo

virgo

(22 june - 23 july)

(24 july - 23 aug)

(24 aug - 23 sep)

It’s the last week: Bet you wish guys would stop telling you they love you .

It’s the last week: If Voodo dolls were ever going to work...

It’s the last week: Let the kid out of the basement.

15

entertainment & reviews

@Honest_Matt Meets...

gig guide “Take me out tonight where there’s music and there’s people who are young and alive” If you don’t get that reference, I urge you to google right now.

Wednesday Skint House Bar, 6-9 pm Cosy up at House with pizzas and drinks!

2 for 1 Cocktails Grand Central Hotel, All day New challenge: Try 2 different cocktails each Wednesday.

@Honest Matt meets P-Money.

Thursday How did Badd Energy first meet and start making music together?

Sam and Coco first started making music together as Badd Energy four years ago. Two years ago they got Trixie on board and the three of them recorded Underwater Pyramids and about six months later I joined the lineup.

Moppy joined the band about six months ago.

Any standout tracks on the album you think we really gotta listen out for?

JS: Yep all of them haha. Ba-Zing is still one of my personal favs though.

What do you think of the state of the NZ music scene at the moment?

There are heaps of exciting new bands doing things differently. I guess in 2013 it’s a lot easier to DIY so that helps things a lot.

Auckland and Wellington both have pretty healthy music scenes from what I see. There’s always room for improvement obviously. Just like society, the music scene is pretty white heteromale dominated. That’s really apparent in the mainstream scene but it’s also pretty apparent in the underground. But it’s good to

see artists and bands challenge that. That’s definitely positive.

What’s been your proudest achievement as a band thus far?

The release of Underwater Pyramids. It took a lot time to come out especially considering how long ago it was recorded compared to when it was actually physically released.

Now for the school councilor type question: Where do you see yourself as a band in 5 years?

I’m not really sure. I think sometimes we feel like Badd Energy is a pretty accident-prone band. So I don’t think I wanna jinx it by talking about our aspirations or anything like that.

I’m not even superstitious or anything. It just seems like the universe has a way of bringing us right down to the ground when it thinks our heads are getting big. But it’s all good.

Girls just wanna have fun.

For the full interview check out Sounzgood.co.nz

Teknique Thursdays Static It’s getting cold. Have a cider blanket.

Friday TGIF Gravity Bar In extreme cases we say TFFF – Thank Fword It’s Friday!

Vertigo Static, Free with student ID before midnight.

The Collective presents Vertigo (dubstep takeover) this Friday! Expect some goodies.

Saturday Hamilton Night Market Kmart Carpark Proof that there’s actually people in Hamilton.

Electro Static Static, Gold Coin Entry It’s a weekly thing, ya know.

libra

scorpio

sagittarius

(24 sep - 23 oct)

(24 oct - 22 nov)

(23 nov - 21 dec)

It’s the last week: Only 7 semesters to go.

It’s the last week: Time to learn his name, you have been hooking up for a semester now.

It’s the last week: Tequila?

16

08 entertainment & reviews

COOL VS NOT COOL

eight ball

tHREE THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME RIGHT NOW AND THREE THINGS THAT AREN’T SO MUCH. COOL Extensions.

Why thank you Mr Lecturer.

Welcome to the 8 ball. In the depths of my gooey black ass I will answer the secrets OF THE universe. You may not like MY answerS but lets be honest who else is going to tell you the truth, ugly.

Is the teen mom chick now doing porn?

All signs point to yes. Shake what your mama gave you and all that.

If New Zealand is classed as a young country then is what johnny keys and his mates doing a form of child exploitation? “johnny keys”?! Bro, you’ve been in Hamilton too long. Get out now.

Onesies. #YOLO

How much is a bus ticket to a better uni?

Depends on how much you value your sanity. I mean, Auckland will probably drive you mental. Palmerston North, well, let’s not even go there. Wellington, getting better. Canterbury is where you will find inner peace. Otago, woh bitch, stop the bus you’ve gone too far.

Why did sky change all the channels, and is it due to Scientology?

Firstly, those Scientology fucksticks are really starting to grind my gears. Secondly, totally judging you for having sky - get out there and like enjoy nature and stuff.

Study Week.

Real food, proper heating, there’s nothing like being at home...

NOT COOL

All nighters.

That’s when you know you’re fucked.

If binary code is the one then does that make coke zero?

OH SHIT. The fact that I’m laughing at this so much is a little concerning. You, devilish computer nerds, you.

Students - 1 Magic 8 Ball - 0 get it? (Magic 8 Ball 0?)

Why does everything keep spinning after I eat the smiley face candy?

Did you buy the candy from the dairy next to the Riff Raff statue in town? Because that’s not candy #yourehighbitch

Useless flatmates.

It’s just chores, not like someone is trying to amputate your limbs...

Forgetting your umbrella.

capricorn

aquarius

pisces

(22 dec - 20 jan)

(21 jan - 19 feb)

(20 feb - 20 mar)

It’s the last week: If the horoscope writers are getting lazy then we can only imagine how you must feel.

It’s the last week: Where is the end of semester party?

It’s the last week: Which means he is no longer your lecturer. Now he’s just a total LILF.

17

entertainment & reviews

Puzzle Page Complete the puzzle page, be the first to bring it in and show us, and you’ll win stuff!

Syllacrostic Fill in the answers to the clues by selecting the correct syllables from the list below. Each syllable can only be used once and the number of syllables to be used is shown in brackets. When the correct words are filled in, the first and last letters reading down will reveal a proverb.

CO, CONDS, DEN, EN, IN, NA, NO, NUR, O, RI, RING, SAL, SE, TER, TICED, TO, TU, VAGE, VIEW, WI. 1. Fostering (3) 2. South American river (4) 3. International organization (2) 4. Lured (2) 5. Broaden (2) 6. Save from destruction

(2)

7. Consultation (3) 8. Units of time (2)

Wuzzle 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Sudoku ~ Easy

18

6.

Across 1. Aquatic mammal (5) 4. Striped equine (5) 7. Watered (9) 8. Flows back (4) 10. Tennis stoke (5) 13. Assumed name (5) 14. Disparaging remark (4) 17. Essential (9) 19. Rear part of a ship (5) 20. Smooth fabric (5)

Down 1. Relinquished (6) 2. Atmosphere (3) 3. Boundary of a surface (4) 4. Stringed instrument (6) 5. Confound (7) 6. Desiccated (4) 9. State of equilibrium (7) 11. Bird of prey (6) 12. Implement for drawing (6) 15. Optical device (4) 16. Small snakes (4) 18. Colony insect (3)

Hub Words How many words can you make from the letters in the wheel? Each word must contain the hub letter C. Can you find a 9-letter word and at least 20 other words of four letters or more avoiding proper nouns?

LIFESTYLE

19

Feature

OU

H

OW

R

OE

TO PLAN

Y

Deciding to travel overseas for a lengthy period of time is a pretty big commitment.

Neglecting the fact that students are typically broke and airfares can be a crippling thought, departing NZ’s shores requires leaving family and friends and the creature comforts of home.

It’s tough. A lot rides on those expensive pieces of paper that permit you to tour the world.

While bearing in mind that every overseas experience will be a different one, I asked a few OE survivors what words of wisdom they could share, and they all came down to this: 1. Lower or loosen your expectations. Travelling to new places requires an open mind.

2. Buy an open return ticket if this is your first time overseas.

3. Take triple your budget! Okay, that might be a lot, but just take more than you think you’ll need.

4. Don’t plan every little thing. Spontaneity is part of the fun of travelling.

5. Don’t wimp out when the going gets tough. Contiki have incorporated this into a fancy new hashtag designed for our generation… #noregrets

If you’re planning on venturing abroad, then flick through our Q+A with STA’s Travel Expert Amanda Tunley, and feel free to daydream away about living it up in London, Mexico, or the Maldives. The very thought should propel you through this repressive winter.

20

feature

What would you say is the first step in planning for an OE? Decide when/where you would like to travel.

From there you get information on flights, visas requirements, travel insurance, tours etc....

When should we start planning a trip?

The earlier the better - from an airfare perspective, the longer you wait to purchase your tickets, the more expensive it can become! Airlines have seats available for purchase approx 10-11 months in advance of travel departure. Many tour companies (eg, Contiki) offer ‘early-bird’ discounts if you’re paying for your trip 6 months prior to departure - there are great savings on offer if you’re organised (and know where to look!)

How would you decide where to go?

Everyone always has somewhere in the back of there mind they would like to go, start with that and go from there.

What would be your favourite overseas experience? Do you have any particularly good travel stories?

There are so many - it is very hard to choose.

I worked for a tour company (Topdeck) in Europe as an On-Road Chef, and this one time in.... Well what goes on tour stays on tour!

would like to stop. From there, come in and see us at STA Travel and we can see what your best flight options are going to be. We have exclusive Student/Youth and Teacher airfares which can save you a lot of money ultimately giving you more to spend on your trip.

How important is travel insurance?

Very Important! Insurance is one of those things that is hard to see the value until you need it. You need to return home with great travel experiences and stories... not a $10,000 medical bill!

What are the five most important things to take with you overseas?

1) Travel Insurance 2) First Aid Kit 3) Fanny Pack (Not the coolest invention but keeps everything safe) 4) Respect for other cultures 5) Lonely Planet Guide Book Do you have any tips for packing?

Lay out what you are wanting to take, then cut that amount in half.

Roll your clothes, you will be surprised how much more room you will have.

Do you have any tips for setting and sticking to saving goals?

I set up an online savings account and arranged an automatic payment to come out on payday; this way I was always savings and did not have a chance to spend my money.

Any suggestions for dealing with language barriers?

Try to learn the basics! Speaking part of another country’s language is better than none. Lonely Planet Guide Books are fantastic and very helpful - they have basic phrases and the most common ones that will come in very handy.

How could we prepare for the visa process? Is there anything particularly tricky about applying for visas?

Come in and see us at STA travel - while we do not issue visas, we can definitely help with the process and/or point you in the right direction. Do not leave visas until the last minute - they are not always straight for ward!

One last piece of advice?

For each place you are heading to, pre-book your first nights accommodation. There’s nothing worse than coming off a long flight and having to find somewhere to stay.

Having a night pre-booked means you can arrive at your accommodation, check in, drop your bags off and head out and start exploring (all hassle free).

How would you suggest choosing flights?

Is cheap the way to go?

Cheap is not always best! I would recommend deciding where you would like to go, and anywhere along the way you

21

feature

22

feature

23

feature

24

feature

25

LIFESTYLE

Living Cheap Effective planning leads to smarter (cheaper) shopping.

Auteur Godfathers of Special Effects.

With the death of Ray Harryhausen on May 7 the cinema lost one of its iconic figures. Harryhausen was a great, influential artist but he is hard to categorise using the conventional wisdom of commercial filmmaking. Considering that he lived to the age of 92 and enjoyed a career that spanned 65 years, his output was remarkably small.

Neither writer nor director, if you relied on screen credits alone to gauge the man’s significance you would miss this point.

In the true sense of the theoretical term, Ray Harryhausen was an auteur. His genius was for special effects but unlike other celebrated

animator in Attack of the Clones. In both size and slightly stilted fluidity of movement the giant beasts that Anakin and Padme battle in the Geonosis arena come straight out of Harryhausen’s universe.

Auteur House has long had a dedicated Harryhausen section. Unfortunately missing from it is his first major contribution to the cinema: Mighty Joe Young (1949). Nominally Harryhausen was Willis O’Brien’s assistant on this tongue in cheek variation on King Kong.

In actual fact he is said to have done as much as 85 percent of the model animation.

The key Harryhausen films are Jason and the Argonauts (1963) and the three features that make up his Sinbad trilogy: The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958), The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1973) and Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger (1977). Jason is Harryhausen’s masterpiece, containing as it does his most celebrated set piece: an extended sword fight between three human characters and seven animated skeletons that took over four months to shoot.

“...the giant beasts that Anakin and Padme battle in the Geonosis arena come straight out of Harryhausen’s universe.” innovators in that field he took creative control of the projects he worked on. Normally when a film exists to showcase effects it is dramatically dull, indulging in spectacle for spectacle’s sake. Its’ appeal quickly dates.

Harryhausen’s tiny but brilliant oeuvre is the exception to that rule. His work in stopmotion animation and as the master of back and front projection is the very definition of screen magic. Dinosaurs, aliens and mythical creatures come to life in his films as in no others.

Himself hugely influenced by King Kong special effects man Willis O’Brien, Harryhausen inspired today’s fantasy filmmakers. The careers of George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, James Cameron and Peter Jackson would be unthinkable without him. Lucas even pays direct homage to the 26

The least campy Harryhausen work, Jason draws on Greek mythology with the utmost respect for its source material.

Though he continued to tinker with short projects and bask in the glory of past achievements until almost the end of his life, Harryhausen’s last feature film was the original Clash of the Titans. Atypically featuring a star studded cast - including Laurence Olivier as Zeus - it was a solid enough way to go out. As with all innovators he was in a sense overtaken by those he influenced, his effects looking a little quaint in the era of Star Wars. However, you only have to compare his 1981 Titans with the 2010 remake to understand how special Harryhausen was.

By Richard Swainson

With food costs increasing constantly it sometimes becomes a desperate situation for struggling students. Here are some tips to help you with food costs and shopping. » Sit down with your flatmates (if you share food, or by yourself otherwise), and plan out a weekly menu – even if it is only things like beans on toast, or two minute noodles.

If you plan your meals then you know precisely what you have to purchase with your shopping for that week, or whatever time frame you plan ahead for. This helps to cut down on impulse spending and buying items you don’t actually require. You will be surprised at how much money this can save you, especially when every cent counts. » Make a shopping list and stick to it. Even

“Make a shopping list and stick to it.” better, write your shopping list according to the layout of the supermarket you generally shop at... For example; if the veggies are the first thing you come across, make them first on your list, followed by whatever department is next. This saves time and you can go to precisely the areas where the items you require are kept and you are not tempted by items in other areas that you may not need. » ALWAYS, have a hot cuppa or a snack before shopping. It really helps stop impulse buying because of hunger. » Only buy fruits and veggies that are in season, they are much cheaper. » If you drink milk, buy full cream and dilute it by up to 50% - that way you get skim milk and twice the amount for the same price. » Better still, use powdered skim milk, it is much cheaper, and you can dilute it 50/50 with fresh milk, gradually increasing the amount of powder until you are used to the taste.

LIFESTYLE

Auditor ‘Biology’: all the cool kids are doing it.

“Personalised Medicine: Drugs and Genes”.

The lecturer doesn’t look like a pill-pusher, but how else am I meant to explain away that incriminating initial slide? I’d never have guessed that S-Block’s guts would hold the key to our university’s less publicised funding schemes – here be monsters, and they’re an unholy amalgamation of Saw and Breaking Bad. Or maybe this is the underground meeting of the campus’ DARE program; some dairies around Hamilton East are still stocking their last shipment of various legal highs, after all, and I give the lecturer an extra suspicious once-over, trying to determine whether he looks more like a tweaking teller or one of the squares trying to shut them down. No dice. However, it’s reassuring in a highly specific and equally rare kind of way when he starts humming vaguely and references Alice Cooper (“I don’t like the drugs, the drugs like me”). For just one brief moment of glory, an aging biology professor morphs into The Dude, and all is right with the world.

I’m thoroughly disappointed when we get into the meat of the lecture, only to discover that Dr. Lebowski insists on hiding his freak-flag under a bushel of scientific terminology and the total cop-out of ‘pharmacogenomics’. He speeds through his slides with almost admirable callousness; I’d probably be better able to follow if I’d done the pre-class readings, but come on. Ain’t nobody got time fo’ that.

Snippets of information bombard the class.

Apparently, codeine requires 17 different families of enzyme to metabolise it into morphine, which to me seems a riskily high number of insiders to include in a drug cartel, but the lecturer is the expert, I guess; a drug that is brilliantly dubbed ‘Warfarin’ is used as both a rat poison and a human blood-thinner, and is one of the top causes of bleeding-related A&E department visits, which the marketing division probably should have seen coming with a name like that; a breast cancer drug is discussed at some length, but the mildly questionable illustrations that accompany the discourse only go to show that when you get right down to it, even the pharmacogeneticists of the world are really just thinking about tits.

It’s not an easy lecture, or a pants-droppingly attractive field of study, but our intrepid informer assures us that there’s a big job market in personalised medicine, because “these drugs are expensive”. Well, hell, with this economic climate, I’m sold. Want to buy a baggie? many dates do we have to go on before the guy starts expecting more than just a kiss.

Sex and the Single Girl Timing is everything.

The dating scene is a little bit out of reach for those of us born after the year 1985. We don’t do dates. Or if we do there’s the issue of how

The most common advice about how to get a keeper from older people is that you should make them wait. I thought maybe it would be a good idea to try this. So I picked an eligible bachelor and started with the dating game.

First date: a movie after work, no kisses.

Saturday night after the first date was when I got the first “Keen?” text at 3.30am. As I was in bed with another guy at the time (whoops will tell you about it another time) I kindly replied with “Sorry am already home”.

I guess because of the position (cough) this text found me in I thought a second date was a good idea.

Saturday night after the second date I didn’t just get a “keen” I got a “I’ll pay for a taxi for you to come over” let’s just say that I didn’t go and I haven’t heard from him since. My romantic self shriveled a little and had a cry but the cynical side of me laughed and said “you will never get this.”

Google This Things you should know about on the internet.

Project Gutenberg http://www.gutenberg.org/ Want free E-Books from classic authors?

Project Gutenberg has over 42,000 e-books of authors whose copyright has expired – such as Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, Leo Tolstoy, Lewis Carroll, and Jules Verne.

Back to the Future by Irina Werning http://irinawerning.com/index.php?/ back-to-the-fut/back-to-the-future/ Irina Werning revisits old photographs with their original subjects, sometimes more than 20 years later. They’re surreal and amusing and sure to make you smile.

Ultimate List of the Best Art + Photo Tumblrs http://www.booooooom.com/2013/05/07/ ultimate-list-of-all-the-best-art-photo-tumblrsto-follow/ Feeling uninspired? Take a look through these amazing blogs to get your creative juices flowing.

Hyperbole and a Half http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.nz/ Whether you’re a film buff or just a interested in a particular movie, Daily Script gives you a little glimpse into what goes into a screenplay and have your own piece of Hollywood.

Pugs Going Up Stairs http://www.youtube.com/ results?search_query=pugs+going+up+stairs This will cheer your no matter how many assignments and exams you have.

27

lifestyle

Boganology 101 Metalcore is the new Nu-Metal?

Genres are confusing. Let’s be honest here, they’re for the fans to talk about what they love, to classify themselves, and to provide comparisons between genres. Musicians mostly tend to steer away from genres and sub-genres in reference to themselves.

Understandable, choose the wrong genre and you could potentially annoy your fans. That’s why a lot of musicians, Heavy Metal musicians in particular, will say they don’t like to be categorised, or cast the net so wide through generalities that by their definition they could even be country musicians (perish the thought). When I was younger, and I think it’s still the case, Nu-Metal was an insult.

This wasn’t always the case. When Korn first came out it apparently heralded as the creator

of a new sub-genre of Nu-metal, which they flaunted through the arrogantly titled Follow the Leader. Then Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park had success, taking the bad spelling a step further, to terrible results. This then lead to Nu-metal as an insult. Then bands that I wouldn’t view as Nu-metal were lumped in, for example System of Down or Slipknot (despite their inclusion of a DJ). The word has recently been transformed by some academics to New Metal, to represent bands from a certain time period and no doubt in protest of

“Then Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park had success, taking the bad spelling a step further, to terrible results.” text-style spelling of New to Nu. This brings me to Metalcore, which seems to attract similar confusion and in some quarters, animosity. Metalcore fans don’t look all that much different to other metal fans, heavily tattooed and pierced. Minor subtleties seem to include being perhaps more similar to Hardcore fans (hence the “core” part of the name perhaps?) While Nu-metal attracted anger for including DJs (which remember, Korn never did on a permanent fan of the idea of meditation; again it’s one of those things I wish I was skilled at so I could feel like a “real hippy”. The truth of it is that I would be lying on both accounts.

Alternative Mondays Enlightenment takes sooo long.

I love the idea of Buddhism. I love the notions of non-attachment, sanctity of life, living in the present, and viewing life as one big ol’ journey towards enlightenment. I would love to write this and tell you that I had read extensively on the topic and I am a serious Buddhist scholar.

I’m not. On a similar note, I am also a huge 28

basis), Metalcore attracts hatred for melodic breakdowns. First of all, much like Nu-metal, genre definitions of Metalcore are beyond me, other than this key factor. Like a lot of people I will point to bands to describe genres, and point to Killswitch Engage as an example. It’s because of these emotional musical breakdowns, usually to sing about a girl that hurt them, that draws annoyance. Usually just when you’re about to really mosh out, you have to stop to let the singer have a bit of a cry. Sometimes they can be done effectively

My lack of knowledge of both of these things became apparent when I signed myself up to a full days Buddhist retreat with my Humble Hippy writing buddy. We had to take a plate for lunch, which seemed like an innocent enough task. However, after purchasing the ‘bacon and cheese’ pizza bread and then having to promptly return it because it contained meat, I began to realize this may be a bigger learning curve than I had expected.

Anyway, this little mishap made us late, so when we arrived we had missed the briefing (if in fact there was one) and were ushered into a room where everyone else was already deeply immersed in meditation. ‘This is great!’ I thought as I sat down; 30 (or was it 5?) minutes later, when I had run out of things to think about, and ways to distract myself from my aching back, I was starting to wonder why I had ever come. Every now and then we would pause, and I would pray to every deity I know that it was the end.

Well the meditation finally did end – four hours later! – and it was lunchtime. Four

(Give Zombies the Vote do a good one, when they start melodically singing about eating brains), but mostly they’re not. To be honest I don’t even understand what the key features of the genre are, so I have mixed feelings.

Or am I getting it all wrong?

Stay Bogan \m/

By Burton C Bogan

hours sitting in absolute silence, on a cold hard floor, desperately trying not to distract that person three inches away from me (apparently deep in Nirvana), trying to grasp the concept of mediation. And did I mention I had never meditated before? I think the true agony and torture of it is an experience you can’t imagine until you try it.

Lunch didn’t provide much reprieve, but revealed some interesting and genuinely awesome principles around the sharing of a meal together. Certainly things which we could all learn from.

After lunch we were ushered back to the mediation hut for more torture and selfinflicted agony. Well, not me. I’m afraid to say that I bolted to the car as soon as I could, and left the apology for an awkward e-mail later that evening.

Tip for the week: Do have a read up on Buddhism, even if you just wiki it – and do try some meditation. I wouldn’t recommend setting out on four hours of silent meditation; but you can find some really easy guided meditations on YouTube, or you can join the meditation club on campus. Unless you enjoy putting yourself through hell, then by all means go ahead…

lifestyle

50 Shades of Gay Super Powers.

Hey guess what? I can turn invisible!

Unfortunately it’s not at will. It’s because of heteronormativity. I know right, check me out with ma big words. Basically it refers to when people talk and act like straight folks are all that exists. Like when lecturers put up a picture of a good looking guy in their powerpoint slides and make off-hand comments like ‘girls, you’re going to love this’.

Immediately all us lady-lovers cease to be

Little Beer Corner Give your nose buds a tickle.

Aromas are pretty amazing things. Think of the intensity of Lynx Africa from that guy sitting next to you in that marketing lecture, instantly bringing back memories of that first boyfriend. The one with the sweaty hands and obsession with hiding his intense stench.

How about roast beef? Instantly you find yourself back in your Gran’s house, tucking into extra gravy and a couple of bits of bread and butter to soak up any of the last juices on the plate.

Aromas and flavours, life would be pretty shit without them. I remember hearing a story about a girl who went to my residence hall at university who lost her sense of smell in a car crash. As a prank, other students hid a whole bunch of canned oysters and mussels around her room. They all rotted and you could imagine what that would smell like.

The Ministry of Health got called in. She was oblivious.

The way our brain works with this sort of stuff is amazing though. Whilst aromas can

seen, and all the gay fullas vanish from view.

Or when Studylink, banks, or telemarketers ask if you’re in a relationship and if so, what’s his name. Sigh. All the rainbows know what I’m talking about here because it happens all the time. Is it really so hard to use gender neutral terms? Should you really be assuming that everyone you’re talking to is straight? I get that at first it might be a bit different to intentionally be careful about your language, but it isn’t ‘political correctness gone mad’ to be respectful and inclusive.

Because heteronormativity can be so subtle and prolific it is a common way that LGBTI are oppressed and discriminated against - it’s in the every day.

So stop making us invisible, we’re far too well dressed for that!

By Lezbi Honest

be both good and bad, we associate so many memories with them and use them often in our hedonistic lifestyles. Beer is one of life’s pleasures and one that we all too often take for granted. The sad thing is that most of us have just grown up tasting beer made by big companies that is meant to taste neutral, nondescript and as just another brand to quench one’s thirst. Thank the brewing gods for the glorious world of craft beer. Those whacky artisans out there teasing the most incredible aromas and flavours from a simple combination of weed (hops), seeds (barley and other cereal grains), fungus (well, yeast is in that family) and good old water. The hop flowers used in brewing alone have around 200 different essential oils in them. In fact, brewers can use almost any ingredient they want to make beer. Want to try a Cucumber and Mint Saison? You can. How about a Doughnut/Bacon/Maple ale? That exists. A Coffee, Coconut and Fig stout? Yep, you can get those, too.

Think of those aromas and flavours you love. Embrace them and hunt them out. The world of beer is massive. More than 100 different styles means that there is something for everyone. If a person you know says something along the lines of “I don’t like beer” you should probably squint your eyes at them, give them the fingers and call them a dick. Have they tried every style of beer in the world? I doubt it.

Open your nostrils, prepare your palate and get ready for sensory expansion. The joys of a pint!

By Kelly Ryan

Mr Minty Fish MMF gives you advice.

This one time, my flatmate called and I told her to “SHUT THE FUCK UP ----!!!” and told her that she needed to reassess her life choices and then I realised that her call had just woken me up and I was half in-half out of a car at the bottom of the Museum road at 3 am and I’d run away from (and consequently slept through) my friend’s 21st.

This is my life, these are my choices.

-Don’t be weird. Sex is great but don’t ask the girl you just met to bring her family pets into the room while you smack that.

-Here’s a line that’s never gotten anyone laid: “Hey man. I have an itch on my genitals but the only thing that - fuck this. Intercourse?”

-Eat small amounts of toothpaste on Friday morning. It makes Thursday’s hangover taste a lot better.

-Black duct tape fixes black heels for town.

It’s dark, no one gives any fucks unless you’re pinging out of your brain and have put shoes on your feet.

-Graham from Bar 101 has a friend called Jess and if I hear that you have been reminding him of this, I will get you drunk and find a hot guy or girl for you to consensually molest.

So this isn’t like Jenna’s blog on Awkward.

Mainly because the two guys I can’t decide between aren’t ridiculously good looking, overpaid actors; but also because I’m not trying to decide between two guys, I’m just trying to decide between Red Scrumpy and Green Scrumpy. I’m not making facial expressions for my own benefit and my mum keeps her wish for my increase in status quo quite public; there would really be no reason for her to write a ‘secret’ letter on paper other than an ironic “fuck you” to nature.

This is a rambling mess.

Sorry, did I say ‘this’? I meant my entire life.

Until later betches.

I’ve been sent a few problems. Send me more and I shall be y0 adv1ce g1ver yo gewls.

Love you. @mrmintyfish mmf@nexusmag.co.nz 29

Lifestyle

X Faculty Just like New Zealand X-Factor the competition has been tainted by a lack of any credible reasoning and random decisions that defy logic. Management students have organised a silent protest outside the offices of Nexus claiming they should never have lost to Computer and Mathematical Sciences. But fair is fair and that is how democracy happens. To put it another way one of the facebook commentators commented after voting “Both have their merits, except Management School.” (18 likes) while another one added “fuck management” (4 likes).

No one seemed to complain however as the faculty of Education killed the Faculty of Worms (figuratively). Who will join them in the Semi Finals?

Let’s find out now:

F.A.S.S

F.A.S.S seems a logical choice for the fight. After all “The thriller from Cochella” is the perfect blend of hipsters and students who really just want to be students for the rest of their lives. They would be amazing ambassadors for this campus and in making them our new “Star Faculty” we would be making a statement that we are a cool place to chill out and study.

But are F.A.S.S students actually cooler than us or do they just seem that way. The big risk with F.A.S.S is that we wake up one day and realise it was all an act. Sure they wear cool band tees and go to great gigs but could they actually name two members of the clash?

Sure the black coffee and cigarettes lifestyle looks cool now but can you ever truly tame a faculty like FASS and would you want to?

Science and Engineering These legendary pissheads have been putting on “boat races” before there was a lake. Everyone knows that engineers only exist because people got hammered and thought “I reckon I could build / fix that.” We are pretty sure they brew their own too.

That is pretty much the entire case for The Faculty of Science and Engineering.

Verdict

If you could combine these two to form a Faculty of Arts, Social Science, Useful Science and Engineering we wouldn’t even need the competition. They would just win. The best parties with the best music and the cheapest piss would be a dream come true.

But there must be a winner and that winner is F.A.S.S if for no other reason than we think Science and engineering prefer to stay in the shadows, like an alcoholic batman.

30

Maori and Pacific Development

The case for S.M.P.D begins with Pro-Vice Chancellor Maori Linda Smith. As an educator and a leader she has created a school that looks at study as a holistic picture. S.M.P.D cares about the welfare of its students and staff and views academic achievement as a part of a means to an end. While some of the things they do in S.M.P.D might be considered “outside the box” the reality is that for the most part it comes down to setting up a culture of belonging and creating a family atmosphere. None of which seems to be artificial. If the university en mass is a body then surely S.M.P.D is its soul. Were S.M.P.D to be made the Star Faculty we could all be truly proud.

Law Every school needs a Slytherin. Is it unfair that we paint the entire school as evil capitalist archetypes? Yes. Lawyers have changed the world, been social activists, helped to overturn apartheid and helped convict war criminals but they also make up nine cabinet members of the 5th National government so there is that. The faculty has great staff and is well resourced but as socrates (probably) once said “Law.... why?”

Verdict

This one really comes down to what type of University we want to be when we grow up. You have to consider all factors including interuniversity politics. On the one hand we have a truly transformational school showing leadership and trying it’s best to develop not just great students but great people and on the other hand you have a faculty with high EFTS and PBRF that will bring in a shit ton of money and produce the next generation of late drinking, suit wearing lawyers.... in the end it’s an easy decision, Law wins by some distance.

WSU

B B D y P AC e o K m p an ul d ar

L

Teaching someone to drive is a skilled task which requires time, patience and practice. Give your learner driver the best possible start – visit www.reducetherisk.co.nz for the latest information and links to resources.

WIN 1 OF 100 PRIZES TO HELP YOUR LEARNER DRIVER

Prizes • 50 NZ Road Codes • 50 eDrive* vouchers *Practice your driving skills online using NZ’s interactive driving training programme.

All entries received will also be entered in a draw to win 2 free driving lessons with a local driving instructor.

Apply online at www.reducetherisk.co.nz or send completed entry form to: Monique Haines, Waikato Regional Council, Private Bag 3038, Waikato Mail Centre, Hamilton 3204.

Name: Address: Phone:

Please circle your first choice: • eDrive Voucher

• NZ Road Code

For Terms & Conditions visit www.reducetherisk.co.nz. • Competition ends 30th June 2013

31

ALICE & A Lifestyle

Alice & Anne

By ALICE & ANNE

Alice & Anne goes punk.

Earlier this month the Metropolitan Museum in New York held its annual Met Gala. The Gala celebrates the opening of the fashion exhibit at the Costume Institute and is hosted by Vogue Magazine. This year’s exhibit was Punk: Chaos to Couture and many of the celebrities and guests dressed to theme, including Anne Hathaway, Sarah Jessica Parker and Miley Cyrus. If you’ve flicked through any “women’s interest” magazines or online galleries, you’re bound to have seen the critics giving their looks some scathing remarks. While they certainly stood out compared to the safe and boring outfits of other celebrities, to understand their looks you’ve first got to have an understanding of punk.

Punk as a subculture started in the mid-1970s in the United States, the United Kingdom and Australia and was centred on punk rock music which emerged in the late-1960s from garage rock. By the late-1970s the culture was multifaceted but the message of punk always remained anti-establishment, rebellious and politically outspoken. Some of their counterculture ideas came from the hippie movement in the 1960s but they rejected the bright colours and loose clothes of the hippie fashion and instead the punk aesthetic focused on DIY, theatrical hairstyles and body modification. Icons of punk include materials such as tartan and leather, embellishments like safety pins and badges, and shoes such as converse sneakers and Dr. Martens.

then-partner Vivienne Westwood can claim a lot of responsibility for bringing punk culture into the eye of the mainstream. Some of punk fashion stemmed from other subcultures such as the Teddy Boys and Mods from the 1950s as well as skinheads and glam rockers; but McLaren and Westwood also drew inspiration from their designs from bikers, fetishists and prostitutes. Either way, the punk’s ideas of non-conformity and individualism always found a way to be expressed, whether it was through music or fashion.

Trend Spotting

By ALICE AND ANNE

Campus Trends

Scarves.

To go back to the Met Gala and re-examine some of their looks with a better understanding of punk; Anne Hathaway’s bleached blonde pixie cut and edgy black lace dress is a nod to Debbie Harry and her contribution to punk rock and new wave. Sarah Jessica Parker had one of the most interesting outfits of the night – which featured a headpiece by Philip Treacy. Her giant black Mohawk and tartan, velvet boots are a reference to some of punk’s key looks. Miley Cyrus got the most criticism for her punk look, but was one of the more authentic outfits. Her tight fishnet dress and crazy blonde tipped hair stood out compared to the other ball gowns. So instead of simply criticising their looks for not being the usual red carpet glamour, instead they should be praised for combining chaos and couture.

SLIGHTLY STONED The Sex Pistols are one of the most influential punk bands from the United Kingdom and their manager Malcolm McLaren and his

SLIGHTLY STONED CHEF AFGHANS 32

You can view some of Punk: Chaos to Couture online at: http://www.metmuseum.org/en/ exhibitions/listings/2013/punk/gallery-views Stay beautiful, Alice & Anne

200g butter, 1C brown sugar, 1 ¼C flour, ¼C cocoa pwdr, 2 cups cornflakes. Icing: 1 cup icing sugar, 1tbsp hot water, choc chips.

Whether it’s rain or wind you’re battling, there’s nothing better than having a scarf to wrap yourself up in. Simple cotton scarves are cheap and are perfect for keeping you that bit warmer without making you feel like you’re in a sauna.

Cream the butter and brown sugar together till pale and fluffy.

lifestyle

Arts Makkala Pallesen I’m super passionate about art & creating in any form but in particular I love to tattoo, paint with watercolour and ink work. Most of my art tends to be a mix of stylized and realistic illustrations finished in bold lines. Animals are a fave subject of mine and I love being able to sneak double meanings into my pieces! I’m always super stoked when people want my art tattooed & love working as an artist getting to create everyday. I have a facebook page for people interested in following my work and what I’m up to ‘M.Rose Ink & Art.

Mix the cocoa and flour into the butter mix.

Then fold in the cornflakes.

Roll a desert spoon of the mix into a ball then squash with a fork on a baking tray. Bake at 180C for 12-15 mins.

Mix the water, icing sugar and cocoa powder together. Ice biscuits and top with walnut or choc chip. Enjoy!

33

WSU

Citizens Advice Bureau Youth Law. What you can and can’t do.

Community Law Centre Angela Smith and Toni Trim What: Workshop When: Tuesday 4th June Where: Bryant Hall Buttery

Ask Amber Amber’s Exam Tips Exams are coming up…. and unless you’re one of those lucky buggers that don’t have any exams then for most students this can be a time of stress, worry and panic.

Whatever your situation is there is always ways around it no matter what it entails.

Below you will find a couple of options of what you can do to prepare for your examination period: Attend an Exam Anxiety Workshop. I, myself, attended this workshop last year just to see what it was like- I highly recommend giving it a go! This workshop is aimed at providing you with skills and strategies that will help you to reduce the effects of anxiety on your performance in examinations. Examinations and tests can be highly stressful situations, but there are things you can do to make this more manageable. In this workshop you will have the opportunity to explore some of these and to identify and build on the skills and strengths you already have in this area. The Workshop is being held Tuesday 28 May from 1.00-3.00pm. The venue will be confirmed on registration. Numbers for the workshop are strictly limited to ensure maximum benefits to participants. Contact Bethea Weir on betheaw@waikato.ac.nz to register.

If you have a legitimate situation that affects you from sitting your examination in its planned location then you can apply to sit your examination at another location. If, because of exceptional circumstances beyond your control, you cannot sit your examinations at the scheduled time or place, you may apply to sit your examination at another time or location. Please note: You should not make any arrangements until your application is approved and fees do apply.

If you are interested in learning more about these options or feel that you may have another situation that may affect your examination, then come talk to Amber the Advocate. You will be able to contact me on 027 2065 011 or advocacy@wsu.org.nz

34

Time: 5 - 7 pm Other: Tea, coffee available at 5 pm.

All welcome

WHERE IS THE MONEY GOING? In spite of receiving more money each month than most of us, David gambles it all away and has run up huge debts. He spends many hours a day gambling at the pokies in order to try and recover his losses, or win more. This is affecting his grades as well as his pocket. He wants to stop and gain control over his life, but the urge to gamble is so great he knows he needs help but doesn’t know what to do.

David could ring the free national gambling helpline 0800 654 655.

They are available until 10pm daily and can provide support, information and referral to a number of specialist supported or self – help programmes.

The Citizens Advice Bureau can also tell him of several places in Hamilton that could help. They can give you information about this or other inquiries you might have. Visit them at the Village Green by Waikato Print 11am – 1pm, Mon – Fri or phone 0800FORCAB.

WSU

Was This You? Open Day. Hanging out at open day with some pre-first years.

35

WSU

REPRESENTATION

WSU SEMESTER REVIEW

“A really diverse board, representing student views to the highest level of the university” - Aaron

ORI2013

HAKINIKINI DAY

SJS 30TH BIRTHDAY BASH

EVENTS “Ori 2013 was the shit, you guys are cool” - Some random student waiting for the bus.

CLOTHES SWAP 36

WSU

ADVOCACY “It’s cool to see the service being used by students. We hope everything goes well but if it doesn’t then we’re here to help!”

- Amber

CLUBS

“It’s great to see new clubs such as the Waikato Musicians Club being active on and off campus. We are looking forward to working with all clubs during B-semester.“ - LJ

OPEN MIC FRIDAYS

ORC BALL

37

IT’S YOUR FUTURE – ADD YOUR PAPERS FOR B SEMESTER NOW

Current students, add your 2013 B Semester papers now. Or, if you’re looking to further enhance your career options and start a postgraduate qualification, talk to your Faculty today.

To add papers visit iWaikato or for more information about enrolment for B Semester, drop into the Student Centre.

There’s no stopping you E kore e taea te aukati i a koe

0800 WAIKATO | waikato.ac.nz