Nexus Issue 19

Issue Nineteen September 10th, 2012

Section

A

s a student there are a few tell-tale signs that give away your character - the people you hang around, the way you drink and your sense of fashion. Fashion is like a box of chocolates... forget it, you already know the rest of that overused metaphor. A more original sentiment regards fashion as ‘a bunch of feelings that you wear’. If you’re looking in the mirror and the selections don’t match your mood, chances are a series of dress-ups will follow. Stressed about an assignment, definitely the sweatpants and hoodie; stoked after a mean Saturday night, probably something that screams confidence; coffee date, something conservative that reiterates “I’m not a weirdo”. Your sense of fashion is important, it’s what draws people in, pushes them away, or simply leaves them there ogling at your chest.

How you present yourself is the greatest non-verbal statement you can make about yourself in the public forum, so it’s a no brainer that people carefully choose what they wear. The generic assumption that males don’t care about what they wear has long passed, in today’s age it’s entirely acceptable for a bunch of guys to go clothes shopping and even be clothes critics. Males may have a simpler choice than females considering it’s not a biggie if we’re caught wearing the same pants or shirt, but that doesn’t mean we deliberate any less about what we put on. As for females everyone knows that they’re instinctive fashionistas, explaining why God gave Eve an extra leaf to accessorize with. Although the vintage fashion sense often

doesn’t hit the spot (ladies please keep the high-waisters out of public view this summer), it’s commendable that New Zealand women pursue their own unique and creative avenue of fashion rather than taking the German ‘leather jacket, jeans and boots’ approach.

What continually astounds me about fashion is how it swings in roundabouts and varies from country to country.

When a friend from Argentina entered the Hamilton night scene and saw the array of winkle pickers, black skinny jeans and tight shirts he though he had landed on the moon, because back in Argentina anyone who wore such attire was considered gay. He kept his wits about him the whole night! In addition I vividly remember the days from primary school when everyone was trying to ditch the snapback and toss the elastic cuffed track pants for the fitted cap and jeans. Now to my disbelief the elastic cuffed chinos have made a reappearance at Hallensteins for $70 a pop.

This summer will no doubt spring a couple of surprises upon the New Zealand fashion scene; here’s hoping they’re all good ones. We males have seen so many high-waisters and jeggings that we’ve had to draw attention away by wearing poo-catchers. C’mon, two wrongs don’t make a right, or in this case three. One little piece of advice for this summer though - as long as you’ve visited the gym and chased some sun rays you’ll make anything look fashionable.

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20 Dedicated followers of... fashion / 22 Spring and Summer Trends

/

Dedicated followers of...

Cover art by Belovodchenko Anton courtesy of www.sxc.hu

fashion

37 We catch up with

New Zealand’s best rapper’ Winston Anthony

38 Sam talks about

feminism, fairness, feelings, and Paula Bennett

Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS MAGAZINE, THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, OR ANYONE ELSE IN PARTICULAR.

Nexus Ground Floor Student Union Building Gate One University of Waikato Knighton Road Hamilton.

3 Editorial / 5 How Saph Sees It / 6 News / 10 Sports Thoughts / 11 Interflat Bowling / 12 Left Vs. Right / 13 Hot Fuzz / 14 Lettuce / 16 Puzzles / 18 8 Ball and Horoscopes / 24 Mr. Minty Fish / 25 Auteur House / 26 Reviews / 29 Lick That Spoon / 30 AGM / 31 Half Baked with Mel / 32 Gig Guide / 34 Cereal and Verbiage / 35 Advocacy / 36 Secret Lives of First Years / 37 Interview with Winston Anthony / 38 Sam’s Garden /

Editors: Alix Higby and Sean Goulding / Managing Editor: James Raffan (james@nexusmag.co.nz) / Music Editor: HP / Feature Editor: Julia Gabel / Design: Katrina McIntosh (design@nexusmag.co.nz) / Illustration: Hoss Aneece (http://happiestpageever.tumblr.com/) / Advertising: Tony Arkell (ads@nexusmag.co.nz) Contributors: President Sapphire Gillard, Mr. Minty Fish, Dr Richard Swainson, Kylie from YWRC, HP, Julia Gabel, Alice and Anne, C-Ball, Skippy, Daniel Farrell, Nick Sickelmore, Pseudonym, DC, Kevin Pryor, Hoory Yeldizian, Jess Molina, Sam Taylor, Amber the Advocate, Nick Marryatt, Charley Miles, and the glorious indestructable 8 ball.

It’s September already and we have a 2013 President Elect! Firstly, WOW. Everyone told me that my term as WSU President would be over before I knew it and they’re right. Not that I get to jump ship just yet, there’s still far too many thing to do before the 31st December rolls around, but I do have the pleasure of introducing you to your next President and Vice Presidents: President: Aaron Letcher. Aaron has served on the WSU Board for the last year and has gained a sound understanding of the organisation, its structures, its problems, and its strengths. This understanding of how things are and where we are going is fundamental to leading the organisation forward. WSU is going through change and Aaron is well suited to the environment we currently find ourselves.

Vice President: Danyell Summers. Danyell has also served on the WSU Board this year and as a communications student is passionate about informing you about the great things we do. Too often we fight the good fight without telling you about it and hopefully next year we’ll do better at keeping you informed. But please, don’t expect to be babied. You’re all big kids now and part of a University education is about finding and evaluating information.

Vice President Maori: Te Wairere Ngaia. Wai is new to the team and I’m sure she will bring the balance that is needed between an understanding of the organisation and new ideas from the student body. She has existing links with our Maori Roopu and the PVC Maori Office and these links are vital to ensuring this role is undertaken well.

Keep watching people. WSU is moving and we hope you’re coming along for the ride. If next year’s board is anything to go by, the trip will be amazing.

PS: These are my words not the candidates! They have no idea. If you want to know what they think have a look through the election results that are featured on page 7.

Youth wings calling success Youth wings of most major political parties are calling success after the Marriage (Definition of Marriage) Amendment Bill passed it’s first reading and the uncommon three-way vote on changing the drinking age failed to get enough support for a change.

The Keep It 18 campaign, a joint initiative by Young Labour, Young Nationals, ACT on Campus and Greens on Campus, had said it was unfair for people who can vote, get married or go to war to not be able to have a drink. ACT on Campus went as far as to tell ACT leader, John Banks, that if he voted for the change, they would not support him at the next election, as they didn’t want to have their younger members campaign for him if he didn’t think they should have a beer with him afterward.

Hamilton MPs David Bennett and Tim Macindoe caused a stir by voting against what has been dubbed the Gay Marriage Bill, even though the bill seemed to be widely supported in the community. David Bennett said that he didn’t support the bill because of the changes to the Adoption Act. He qualified this by saying that there was nothing wrong with homosexuals adopting, but it might harm other people who are trying to adopt. Tim Macindoe said that he wasn’t supporting the bill because of his Christian beliefs. This caused some outrage, with people saying Mr Macindoe shouldn’t be voting by what he believes and instead should be voting with what his constituents believe. Others did defend Mr Macindoe, saying that it was a conscience vote, so surely he should be voting with his conscience.

By Daniel Farrell

Hold your horses, I mean sales, Johnnie Boy After weeks of reminding the public that the Waitangi Tribunal is not binding upon the Government, John Key announced on Monday that the partial sale of Mighty River Power would be delayed until March or April next year, as requested by the Waitangi Tribunal.

The sale of 49% of Mighty River Power was originally scheduled to occur before the end of the year, however an urgent claim was made to the Waitangi Tribunal, suggesting the sale of state owned power companies would hinder the Crown settling Treaty Claims regarding water. It was also said that Maori have a spiritual connection to the water over to the water and as such have a strong claim to the water. In a press conference on Monday, Prime Minister John Key said ““To be successful I think we need clarity and we need certainty for investors and on the back of that, we need to make sure we have all of our ducks in a row.”

The Government has also all but rejected the idea of “Shares Plus” which was floated by the Waitangi Tribunal, which would give Maori extra control over how the state owned energy companies use the water. However, Key did say “we will consider if iwi can come up with anything we haven’t thought of when it comes to shares plus.”

Meanwhile, the debate moved in a slightly unexpected direction after this announcement, with some Maori saying that if Maori have rights to water, they also have rights to wind. Ngapuhi spokesperson, David Rankin said, ““They set a precedence by the claim over water that they have to go for the wind. They’re all resources - the wind is a resource. What turns those turbines on those wind farms?”

by Daniel Farrell

David Bennett MP FO R H AM I L TON E AS T E LE C TOR AT E O F F ICE

510 Grey Street, Hamilton | Phone 07 834 3407 o.nz Email davidbennettmp@parliament.govt.nz | www.davidbennett.co.nz

www.national.org.nz

WSU 2013 Election Results

President

VP

VP Maori

Aaron Letcher: WSU President 2013. Votes 468 It’s a great result and I appreciate all the people that supported me during the campaign. I look forward to working with the new board in 2013 Danyell Summers: WSU Vice President 2013. Votes 239 I’m very, very excited and thankful for all the votes. I’m looking forward to catching up with Aaron and making plans for next year and I think it’s going to be a really great year.

Te Wairere Ngaia: WSU Vice President Maori 2013. Votes 328 I’d just like to thank the voters first and foremost who took part in the election and Kiri it’s an honour and privilege just to be part of the WSU because we are a strong voice on campus for the students and I am looking forward to representing them.

Mark Savage: Director 2013. Votes 285 I believe that we can all form quite a strong team next year. There will be a lot of challenges and new opportunities. I think with the team that the students voted in we have we can meet those challenges and I am looking forward to next year.

Courtney Quinn: Director 2013. Votes 277 Looks like a great board we’ve got next year. I look forward to spending another year on the WSU doing what I can to make every students university experience an awesome one!!

Daniel Farrell: Director 2013. Votes: 239 In terms of the Presidential race, I would like to congratulate Aaron. I am sure he will do a great job. In terms of Director, I am happy to be serving the students next year, and look forward to working with the rest of the Board, the WSU staff and the members.

Regan Johnston: Director 2013. Votes 238 It’s a scary and exciting time for me everybody, I just hope I have the strength to succeed and make everybody really proud of me. I love the student body. My vision is magical. It’s been a trying campaign, I look forward to being friends with everybody nek yeah.

Logan Reynolds: Director 2013. Votes 237 Many thanks to everyone who supported me over the election period - you are beautiful human beings. I’m feeling optimistic about the new board and look forward to improving the student experience for you in 2013.

Brennan Chappell: Director 2013. Votes 216 A big thanks everyone that voted for me and especially to those that helped out with the campaign. I hope students are looking forward to O week as much as I am and I can’t wait to do my part to build an awesome student culture in 2013.

Kiriana Waru: Director 2013. Votes 198 Kat Dimes: Director 2013. Votes: 159 With my previous experiences on Student Boards and experience I will gain from working with some smart people from WSU, I hope it will be a successful year- The Kat Attack has been brought, now let me resharpen my claws for 2013!

Heman Kakai received 155 votes.

U N I V E R S I T Y O F WA I K ATO N E W S , E V E N T S A N D N OT I C E S

Share your ideas with your mayor

Progress reports online From October, all doctoral students’ progress reports will be submitted electronically – that means no more paper!

Agriculture, Science and the Arts – lecture

To find out how it all works join us on Tuesday 11 September at 9am in MSB.1.05, or Friday 14 September at 10am in S.G.01. All doctoral candidates and supervisors welcome.

Th3sis in 3 entries and workshop Hamilton Mayor Julie Hardaker will be hosting a ‘Mayor Outside the Square’ forum on campus next week, to hear your ideas about Hamilton.

She will discuss how the thriving arts and culture sector may have negative repercussions for the science and food production industries, and how we can encourage science – without neglecting the arts – for the benefit of our graduates, economy and future generations.

Make sure you come along – 12:301:30pm, Wednesday 19 September on the Village Green. For more info go to www. hamilton.co.nz/mayorinthesquare.

Election of the student member of Council for 2013 – nominations open

Nominations are now open for the 2013 student member of the University Council. Interested? Know someone who’d do a good job? All enrolled students are eligible to nominate and be nominated.

Find out more about what’s involved at www.waikato.ac.nz/about/corporate/ student-member

www.waikato.ac.nz

Professor of Agribusiness Jacqueline Rowarth will present her Inaugural Professorial Lecture, Agriculture, Science and the Arts, at 6pm, Tuesday 18 September at the Academy.

Higher-degree students, get your entry in for the Th3sis in 3 competition – entries close soon so don’t miss your chance to win a share of $8,000. Go to www.waikato. ac.nz/sasd/postgraduate/th3sis/ to enter and find out more information.

Reminder – new venue for October graduation

You can also find out how to get the most out of your Th3sis in 3 presentation by attending the workshop on Tuesday 11 September at 11am in A.G.30

Are your details correct?

You can easily check and update your contact details in iWaikato, under Personal Details – please make sure these are correct.

www.facebook.com/WaikatoUniversity

Remember – the 17 October graduation ceremony will be held at the Claudelands Events Centre this year. The 16 October graduation ceremony will still be held at Te Kohinga Mārama Marae on campus.

Find out more at www.waikato.ac.nz/ sasd/graduation.

www.twitter.com/waikato

News I Feel like Chicken Tonight NIGERIA: Long standing home of international Princes in “desperate need of your help” can now also boast the finest chicken you have ever tasted. What is the secret?

Cocaine – Because 11 herbs and spices are for pussies.

At least that’s what Nigerian police are discovering after they seized a cooked chook stuffed with $150,000 worth of cocaine. Seriously, how big are your chickens Nigeria?

Although even with the cocaine stuffing it is still about eight times healthier than a single Double Down.

The Even Madder Butcher Not to be out done by the Nigerians, Auckland Butcher and former international Rugby League star William Wolfgramm last week plead guilty in an Auckland District Court on charges that he had attempted to smuggle in 100kgs of Methamphetamine with intent to sell. Best marketing strategy ever – buy a kg of sausages and we will give you a couple of “uppers” to make even the lamest flat bbq kick off. If only the actual Mad Butcher had thought of it first, given enough ecstacy the Warriors may have actually made the playoffs.

The not so free market at work A Michigan man has come under scrutiny for complaining to police about a prostitute price hike. The 45-year-old man had allegedly contracted a prostitute for her services online however after meeting with the man and taking his money the 19-year old girl decided the fee wasn’t enough and refused to “work” without further payment. After the man complained to the cops the woman was arrested however at this time it is unclear whether the man will face solicitation charges.

A few quick lessons to learn here: 1) Don’t solicit prostitutes online but if you do attach a photo so they can charge accordingly 2) Exchange all money prior to inviting your guest to Bryant Hall 3) Be glad you live in Hamilton where getting laid still only costs three Voldka Cruisers at Bar101

Violence victim marries man who assaulted her Threatened at gunpoint Married while in custody A shotgun wedding?

Coroner’s warning over child crushed by television “Secure against quakes!”

Kid crushed by falling TV Poltergeist, but proactive!

Drunk Russian beaten up after crashing loader into parked cars An actual quote “Loader driver was loaded.”

Can’t hope to top that

Father of five given supervision for hitting children Knows law, doesn’t care He only hit four of them Surely that’s a start?

GP banned for prescribing gay “cure” Cure you of “the gays” With chemical castration!

Yes, that’s how it works

Opinion

Haiku

Sports Thoughts ON THE THIRD DAY GOD CREATED BEN BARBA

By C-Ball

W

hen Ben Barba was gifted to the world, God made him so awesome he made sure his mother dipped the whole fucking baby in the river Styx.

None of this hand around the ankle so the water doesn’t touch it bullshit, leaving him with a vulnerable Achilles. Ben Barba is the complete and utter package. He is one of the fastest, agile, evasive players in the NRL, and while one would be allowed to point out he is a bit of a rodent, it was no surprise when Barba was awarded the Dally M this year.

Barba is easily the best player of the season, and even half the toothless contingent that turn up to Mt Smart every week could see that, with the Aborigini boy from Darwin also taking home Fullback of the Year, along with the Provan Summons award (people’s choice).

The fact that Barba seemed close to breaking out in tears during his acceptance of the Dally M emphasises what a journey it has been for the man who grew up in the backwater town of Mackay, breaking onto the scene in the under 20 competition and making the Toyota Cup team of the year, only to spend a number of years in relative purgatory with the Bulldogs. At the time, Barba worked at a car wash, and once he had made his debut, had to overcome the realistic and publicised rumours that his club was looking for a new fullback. Instead, they landed a new coach, and Barba has flourished, leading the Bulldogs to the Minor Premiership and chopping a large number of opposition defences to pieces which would impress even our

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very own last samurai; Antonie Dixon.

While I am sure the future will hold Queensland and Australian representation for Barba, I will be interested to see whether he lands the fullback spot instantly, or whether they treat him like they did Jarryd Hayne after he won the Dally M back in 2009, continuously choosing Billy Slater in the

Kangaroo’s fullback position over him. One thing is certain though, whatever culture Des Hasler has taken to the Bulldogs, it has created a team of high class performers, and turned one potential superstar into an absolute god.

With the regular season finished, Barba sits equal top for most tries scored with 21, equal top for most linebreaks with 25, and even wins the Headline of the Year award for his freakish length of the field try against Melbourne – in the game held in Mackay. How fitting.

I can only hope that Barba maintains this current form for years to come.

Previous Dally M winners have been known to go off the boil, excluding the usual stars Cameron Smith and Jonathon Thurston. After Jarryd

Hayne won, he seemingly fell into a bottomless pit full of injuries and the Eels sucking big time, whereas Todd Carney won it, and went out celebrating large and in charge.

Not a bad idea for your average person, but Carney is a raging alcoholic, and ended up being told to roll out by his then club the Roosters.

Another interesting point to make is, whether the Bulldogs carry on to the Grand Final or not (I’m picking a Storm v Sea Eagles repeat), how they follow that up next year will be even more important. In the past three Grand Finals, the losing team has fallen by the wayside abysmally in the season that follows. For instance, the Roosters, Eels and last year the Warriors all made it to the big show, yet in the following year each one experienced some sort of malfunction which led them to the bottom of the table.

With all that said, the plain and simple fact is Ben Barba is easily and most deservedly the best player in the NRL at this point in time. He’s got wheels, Aboriginal blood and a flair usually seen only on a basketball court in South Mangere. With that in mind, I have no doubt he will end up as the NRL’s poster boy too, provided he doesn’t have any more scraps in parking lots with Jamal Indris. Yeah – those two fought. Talk about David versus Goliath with dreads. And finally – it’s absolute bullshit that Matulino didn’t even get nominated for Prop of the Year. Kasiano wins it in the end, which is ironic as he is pretty much Matulino with an extra offload or two. Fuck you Australia.

In early August we got a crew together, had some drinks and went bowling for a mate’s birthday. It was superduper fun, and it got me thinking...why can’t this be done on a larger scale? I chucked something up on ‘the old faithful’ to gauge a bit of interest – were there flats out there that would be keen to get amongst a rowdy bowling night in town?

It started slow, but more and more interest started flooding in over the week. I initially rang up Bowlevard and booked 10 lanes. Then another 3 flats put up their hands, so I locked them in too. Eventually, we booked out all 16 available lanes. The night was set.

- Cue Thursday 23rd August. After some hearty pre-match banter including tales such as “your mum won’t want to say no to me again when she hears about my mad bowling skills and devilishly handsome looks” it was guaranteed to be a goodie, and it didn’t disappoint. Actually went down an absolute treat. In total 132 games were bowled (worth over half a grand to Sky City) with The Blowhole taking

Leaving town soon?

Need storage?

out first place, Fox Street flat second, and third place went to a flat with your editor Gucci in it. Highest single game score went to Aaron Huesser of Blowhole fame who put down a 166. In contrast, most shit bowler award went to Emma Coker of the York Street Misfits with a finely crafted 38.

Highlights of the night include 61 May having their lane cancelled for being too maggot, two strangers meeting for the first time and falling in love, the after parties on Inverness, the casino and the of course elaborate yarns the next day.

By Charley Miles Stay tuned for end of year events. The Day of Sports, Flip Cup Tournament and Flat-Crawl are all on the cards. For those of you that get bored with the same old on Thursdays and Saturdays, get creative and then get loose.

It’s that easy.

SPECIALT STUDEN OFFERd term

s fixe Call Shirley or Nigel for all the details: 3 month $200 V A Ph 846 6144 storeit4U@xtra.co.nz 176 Ellis St Frankton S E

SELF STORAGE

Safe, secure, affordable

LEFT vs RIGHT

I

don’t think anyone can seriously argue that New Zealand is anything other than an expensive country to live in. in a survey back in 2010 we were second only to Australia in terms of our unaffordability of our everyday lives. Affordability is measure of the cost of living compared to the median income. In New Zealand our wages are low and our expenses are high, therefore many New Zealanders struggle to make ends meet.

If anything this situation has gotten worse since 2010, the GST increase was just coming in making everything we buy 2.5% more expensive, but we needed that tax increase to pay for the tax cuts for the rich. Housing continues to be a huge expense for most people with speculation on the housing market continuing to artificially increase the price of housing. There are a number of thing that the government could do to lower the price of housing, the most famous being a capital gains tax, but they won’t be doing anything soon because their supporters are the ones benefiting from expensive housing.

Then you have the increase in the cost of oil over the past few years, which hasn’t quite been reflected at the petrol pumps yet but is making everything we import a bit more costly. The fact the government is spending a hell of a lot of money on highways and is cutting back on public transport and cycling options is just going to make us more dependent on the private car and the increasingly rare petrol that fuels them.

On the income side of the argument, we have very low increases to the minimum wage. A lot of changes to the workers’ rights in the workplace, The union can be refused access now and workers no longer have the same job security that they used to. Add on to that the very high unemployment, the government making benefits harder to get (including the student allowance) and the government sacking people instead of trying to create jobs and you have a recipe for a low wage economy.

So it isn’t really surprising that New Zealand is an expensive place to live.

This week we talk about whether NZ is too expensive to live in.

T

he cost of living in this country isn’t too high. Anyone who tells you differently is smoking something they probably can’t afford and therein lies the problem. It’s not that people can’t live in this country, it is that they can’t have the lifestyle they expect without working for it. It isn’t a cost of living issue it’s an argument about priorities. When was the last time you spent time with someone who complained they couldn’t afford to feed themselves or their kids on the benefit or student allowance yet they had a massive TV or Xbox, were never short of a pack of smokes and brought coffees on campus?

We live in a beautiful country and we are lucky enough to be a generation with options. We are living in a time of new and expanding industries where the least industrious among us can become millionaires just by having a reality tv show or creating an ipod app. The truth is that you can have whatever lifestyle you want in this country but you have to work harder than anyone else and you have to want it more. Sure it is expensive but your earning power is virtually without limit.

The problem is the welfare state. Successive Labour governments have made it too easy to live on government handouts for your entire life, that’s the ambition killer.

The problem with having a social safety net is that like fishing net you get trapped and you stay there.

What we need is a welfare trampoline that gives you the hand when you need it but bounces you back to becoming a productive member of society in the shortest possible time.

I’m so sick of hearing people complain about how the government is keeping them down because that is a reality that only exists in someone’s mind. Tax on tobacco too high? Quit smoking. Fuel too expensive? Public transport.

Minimum wage too low? Work harder, get promoted.

This is a country that provides for the neediest among us and also rewards the hard working. It allows all of us a chance to live and work but only if you want to. It isn’t too expensive to live here, it is just expensive to live here well.

It is something you have to earn, but if you’re willing there are llimitless opportunities.

Occurences in Hamilton East from 14th August - 29th August 2012

Key: Assaults

Burglary

Unlawfully Takes Motor Vehicle

Information provided by New Zealand Police force

QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS ?

If you have any questions, please contact the University Community Constable Nick Sickelmore.

Nicholas.Sickelmore@police.govt.nz 07 858 2792

saturated NZ society and history informing its politics and social policies, so it was Christian by de facto. Mark 10:7-8 characterises it says “a MAN will be joined with his WIFE” (think that’s pretty straightforward). NZ has not FORMALLY STATED that they have no state religion (Luke and uncle I got that from your Wikipedia article)

Nexus encourages debate and discussion on almost any topic and welcomes your letters.

Relevant, intelligent and well-worded letters are preferable, and we also enjoy good humour.

Right of reply will generally be accepted provided we have space.

Letters should be kept to a maximum of 250 words. You may hide behind a nom-de-plume but you must tell us your real name (which will not be published unless requested).

Letter of the week is picked on the basis of our feelings, not the persuasion of its content for which we don’t have opinions on.

Disclaimer: letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone.

Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency.

Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech.

Send your lettuce through to lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz

Hey, NEED A ROOM? 12 Beaumont has a room for you. $88pw rent plus expenses when due. Trying to get rid of room as soon as possible so I don’t have to pay any more.

The room is one of two outside rooms, so is pretty sweet.

Has 4 current tenants who are pretty choice. Text me if your keen 0211353672.

Thank you

Dear Lettuce I have to agree with you all NZ doesn’t CALL itself a Christian nation, used to be though. Christian values

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Divorce being illegal? If you married someone and it doesn’t work, would you stay? God is forgiving. The idea behind ‘no divorce’ is to marry the right person anyways so you only need to marry once, but in today’s world marriage is becoming a “LEGAL thing” and no longer a “Christian thing”, so legally you can marry who you want. I ask what’s next. Marriage with pets...next protest I reckon, and why not? We can just change the law, right? “Welcome to NZ where there are a diverse range of people”. We should afford people the right to marry who they want and what they want, right? See, Christianity has only one good example Jesus Christ, the rest are imitators, so I don’t claim to be perfect because that is hypocritical; I am no Brian Tamaki. But I believe like George Washington “It is impossible to rightly govern a nation without God and the Bible”. PS: How did To be accurate’s tweet get lettuce of the week.

Kind Regards, To be honest

Dear Nexus, Congratulations are due for you two for not resorting to a primal and misinterpreted opinion on the so-called “slut.”

I just hate the idea that people have about “slut” and their inherent inferiority for having a high sex drive. Having lots of glorious sex does NOT equal said woman (or man, not here to judge) being less of a person. I don’t see why there is a problem with being sexually promiscuous, and while for some that may not be their cup of tea, others just wanna have fun. If there is anything i’ve learned in my 18 years of living, is that people who slut shame are not the kinds of people i want to be around. I’m a pro-choice, open-minded individual who loves a night out with my friends, no matter how revealing or not their clothing is. Y’all slut-shamers are probably just jealous of the fact that they gettin’ it, but i’m not here to judge. Whatever floats your boat.

You stay beautiful as always, Alice and Anne imo, tbh, lbr

Bill Gates wants to re-invent the toilet As a naturally hair man I have a lot of hair in and around my anus and balls. Naturally, when I go to the toilet and do my business it gets messy. The closest analogy I can relate to this situation is imagine wiping peanut butter off the carpet with a paper towel, that shit gets everywhere, literally. Through trial and error, I improved my wiping

methods to get better cleanliness down there. My mate dave suggested that I use wet wipes and I did. It really improved the wipe a lot. But it still wasn’t enough nor was it practical for travel situation where wet wipes were not readily available. My mate dave is an interesting person, he further suggested that I use veet hair removal mousse. So I went to the supermarket and got myself the strawberry flavour mousse. (smelled really nice) I was assured by the marketing that if 8/10 women prefer it to shaving then it must be good. I squatted down in the bathtub and rubbed that mousse all over the place where sun dont shine. 1 minute has passed and it felt like the gates of hell just opened in my ass. A burning sensation like I never felt before. But my quest for a smooth and silky ass meant that I had to endure the pain. 5 mins later, with the spatula provided i washed away the wax. My god, its still burns.

The results? No hair down there and silky, smooth ass.

Side effects? Burning ass.

Would definitely recommend it.

P.s your farts are louder since they are not muffled and I did notice that it smells a bit worse since its not filtered.

To the 2013 WSU team, Congratulations on being elected and good luck for next year.

Heman Kakai

Hello, long time reader, first time writer. In my humble opinion there are too many opinions written regarding the topical flavor of the month; mind your own business and eat some pickles you closet homosexuals. And another thing, the local resident “hipster” is just another imitator. An imitator of other imitating hipsters who think they are hipsters but are actually mainstreamers because there are a thousand of the ma’fukas out there who think they are hip.

Kthxbi, Charizard is the greatest pokemon ever. Period.

PS. Legalize meth.

Face of the week - make me into Tyra

Puzzles Complete the puzzle page, bring it and show us, and you’ll go in the draw to win some sweet free stuff!

SUDOKU

FASHION Word Find BAGS CATWALK CURRENT SHOES STYLE

CLOTHES COLOURS TRENDS SHOPPING VOGUE

ACCESSORIES FASHION RUNWAY STILETTO MAKEUP

COLOUR ME IN

CAPTION THIS

What: Roller-Tron Where: Melville Skate Park, Cobham Drive When: Saturday 15 September 2pm The official roller disco curtain raiser for Hamilton Pride Week, featuring the Hellmilton Roller Ghouls.

Hamilton Pride welcomes queer families, youth, and roller disco queens of all ages to join us in a wheeled disco extravaganza.

Us: Gay anthems and an array of sweet sounds.

Appearances from Hamilton’s own Hellmilton Roller Ghouls.

Illustrious prize for Best Disco Ensemble.

You: Awesome moves. Knee-pads. Short-shorts. Crash helmets. Straight mates. Queer-Cheers from the sidelines.

Fishnets optional. Everyone is welcome. It is a covered venue, so rain or shine we will be rocking on down.

Cost: $5 adults, $2 high school students, under-12 free.

Entry includes skate hire.

What: Manly Affections and Festival Launch Where: Browsers Book Shop When: Saturday 15 September 7pm Description: In the heart of downtown Hamilton, Browsers the secondhand bookshop will host our launch. Chris Brickell, author of Mates and Lovers (2008) will talk about his new book Manly Affections.

8pm Official launch by Louisa Wall who will discuss her Marriage Equality Bill. Gold coin donation.

What: Pride Party 2012 at Shine Where: Victoria Street When: Saturday 15 September 10pm onwards Help us celebrate the start of a fabulous week!

Gold coin donation.

What: Dance with Pride Where: Garden Place, Victoria Street When: Friday 21 September 6–8pm Join us for a big, bright and colourful Zumba and Line Dancing Extravaganza.

A leading Zumba Instructor will pump Hamilton’s city centre with sounds and moves to get everyone pumping. Phoenix Adamson from Community Radio’s Flat Out Pride Show will showcase line dancing at its best.

Coloured balloons or glow sticks will be available to display Hamilton’s rainbow colours to the whole of New Zealand as this event is scheduled to coincide with TVNZ One’s weather-cam at approximately 6.20pm. Let’s show the country who we are!

What: Askew Ball ‘Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend’ Where: Waikato Museum, Grantam St When: Saturday 22 September 7.30pm to midnight Host Organisation: Askew Waikato Description: Come along to the Museum for the closing event of the Hamilton Pride Festival 2012. This will be a fun night of dancing and fabulous dress, an alcohol-free event so all ages can be included. The theme is burlesque/ diamonds and dress will be formal.

What: Number 8 Films and Hamilton Pride present ‘Out at the Movies’ Where: Waikato Museum. 1 Grantham Street.

When: Sunday 23 September 6.30pm. Tickets $20 Book online at www.number8films.com Host Organisation: Number 8 Films Christopher Banks MEN LIKE US – a 90-minute NZ Documentary directed by Christopher Banks.

“An unflinching look at gay life in New Zealand” – Hannah JV, Express Magazine A revealing documentary window into the lives of nine New

What: Rainbow Tramp Where: 9am carpool from the Pet Practice, Hillcrest, 113 Cambridge Road, Hamilton When: Sunday 16 September 9am–4pm-ish Host Organisation: Gay Link Waikato Come and tramp up a mountain with friends, rain or shine. Bring water, warm clothes, a rain coat, and snacks.

Everyone is welcome, all ages event.

What: Multicultural Mash Where: Link House, 2 Dawson Street When: 16 September 6pm onwards Taku Manawa, the local network for the Human Rights Commission and Link House host a pot luck shared dinner for queer Kiwis from other countries. Meet new people, make new friends and enjoy food from around the world.

Bring: A plate of food to share.

Contact: rebecca@linkhouse.org.nz What: INA (Maori, Indigenous & South Pacific HIV/AIDS Foundation) forum (The acronym INA stands for Immanuel, Noelle and Apihaka. The first two names are from Pacific Island infants tragically taken by AIDS; the last name is from a Maori/ Pacific Island child who was spared, despite both parents being HIV+. See www.ina.maori.nz/pages/about.html) Where: S Block, S.G.03, University of Waikato When: Wednesday 19 September 5.30–7pm Marama Pala will speak about the International World AIDS conference that she attended in 22–27 July Washington DC.

What: Queering Cultural Hour on Campus (University of Waikato) Where: The Village Green When: Wednesday 19 September 1pm onwards Organisers: Askew What: Stitch‘n Butch Where: Student Union Building When: Wednesday 19 September 7pm onwards Organisers: Askew, Nick and Lynda Learn to knit with Nuck or share your own craft skills while gossiping with other queers and their friends. If you want to learn to knit, please bring your own knitting needles (size 9 are good to learn on). No experience necessary!

Everyone welcome; no cost.

What: Lesbian Quiz Night Where: The Bank, upstairs When: Thursday 20 September 7.30pm onwards Always highly entertaining, and more than a little competitive! So brush up on your general knowledge and swot up on your Sapphic savoir-faire; get a team together, or just turn up on the night and join the party. Email the Lesbian Social Group for details: lsg@hamiltonpride.co.nz $5 quiz entry per person.

What: Da Bois Nite Out [Men Only] Where: Rm SG 03, S Block, University of Waikato When: Thursday 20 September, 6.30pm onwards.

Mooloo Mix invites you to an event for the bois during Pride 2012. Come along and enjoy a night out at the movies. We will screen the movie Eating Out 4: Drama Camp. Pizza will be provided, BYO snacks as well as your mates. Be there before the movie, so we can order the pizza and get it fast! All men welcome. No cost.

2012 Festival 15–23 September Zealand gay men aged 24 through 78, including Hamilton local Raymond Wilson, Men Like Us highlights the common threads in our continuing struggle for everyday happiness in a straight man’s world.

It’s a tapestry of uplifting and challenging tales of ordinary men overcoming the obstacles life throws in our way, including body image and masculinity, bullying and bereavement, migration and aging, HIV, cultural identity and spirituality.

Telling the untold stories on film: www.number8films.com For up to date notices and any late changes see: www.hamiltonpride.co.nz

Together

celebrating and supporting the diversity of Hamilton’s Rainbow Community

Entertainment

I am the glorious and magnificent eight ball. Look on my words ye mighty and despair. Also got any questions for me?

Hey 8 balls who is going to win the election this year Obama or Romney? That is not a yes or no question. Jesus how long have we been doing this?

But if you have time check out the Chuck Norris RNC video where he promises that a second Obama term would plunge the world into ten thousand years of darkness I think it’s clear who I want to see win.

Eight Ball is Hone Harawira the greatest political leader ever? No. Big H got himself in some hot water this week by using the N word. Which is perfectly acceptable if you’re Jay Z or Dr King but a little bit of a stretch if you’re a political leader in this country particularly when the reference doesn’t even apply to you. He could have hit on the same point with a blankets and muskets reference but he got himself a little lost. Here is the big problem though his statement last week said “I should have chosen my words more carefully” which is a perfectly fine excuse if you’re a construction worker or an athlete but when you’re a politician choosing your words is like 70% of your job.

Will you ever be able to get a cheap coffee on campus? NO! That is all.

Will I pass this semester? Definitely yes The problem is that you still wont go on to finish your degree. Let’s face it teachers college isn’t for everyone. On the bright side….At least you know now before starting your third year.

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Aries: If stupid is as stupid does are you stupid or doing stupid things. Spoiler alert yes.

Taurus: This week one of your friends will confess a deep secret. They are a serial killer. It’s a tough secret to tell someone but Colin Craig still has no problem with them getting married.

Gemini: You will meet the love of your life this week. Unfortunately they are going to reject you in a way so soul crushing you will never recover. You want happy news? Buy a fucking greeting card, I don’t control the stars.

Cancer: He doesn’t need to know. What happens in the teaching recess stays in the teaching recess.

Leo: A Simpsons re-run will change your life.

Spoiler alert Maggie shoots Mr Burns.

Virgo: You will watch the new reality series “The Ridges.” Unfortunately you will watch it alone, get used to that. Buy some cats.

Libra: You will be sick to death of people using the phrase spoiler alert.

Scorpio: You will ask yourself why you have spent the year struggling to find love on campus.

Spoiler alert it’s your personality and looks.

Sagittarius: Mercury is aligning with Saturn and no one knows what that means for you but we are pretty sure it has something to do with who owns the water rights.

Capricorn: Isn’t a little weird that conservative and conservationist mean completely different things.

Aquarius: C’s do in fact get degrees don’t cave to peer pressure and people wanting you to work hard. If your tutor had wanted you to do the work he wouldn’t have assigned you to a group.

Pisces: Ponder this, if Kanye West and Kim Kardashian get married and have a baby that baby will have a 50% chance of being musically talented, a 100% chance of being a douchebag, and a 150% chance of being raised in a broken home after 72 days.

Feature Living in a New Zealand, it’d be fair to say we’re dominated by Western ideals of culture - including fashion.

What happens then if you’re an immigrant or refugee from a nonWestern country, such as Somalia, Afghanistan, or Saudi Arabia?

Keeping your culture and beliefs while still fitting in to your new home would clearly have its challenges.

Wearing a burqa (or full face veil) in Hamilton does stand out, but as the immigrant population grows – learning about other cultures is only going increase acceptance that they’re a part of our society too.

In terms of fashion, possibly the most contrasting culture to that of New Zealand (or any Western-dominated country) is that of Islam. Islam is a religion dominant in many Middle Eastern countries, and their holy text (the Quran) asks female followers cover their bodies. Since that can often require scarves and large amounts of beautiful material – I’ve always admired their use of colour, texture and patterns (albeit from a distance). Worried about a possible language barrier, and not wanting to offend them unknowingly, I’ve never had the courage to talk to a Muslim girl about her fashion choices and how her religion affects them.

This changed I met up with Sabira Nouri, one wet Hamilton day. An Afghan refugee, now New Zealand citizen (and studying at Wintec), she patiently and kindly answered my unending torrent of questions.

Covering the body is not unique to Islam, as Hindu women also cover their body, however not it is not in the same manner as Muslim women.

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The more commonly seen headscarf is called just that – a scarf (which covers the hair and neck), while the full face veil (which cover the wearer from head to toe) is called a burqa.

Burqa’s are more traditional in the sense of Middle Eastern cultures than the religion itself (as the Quran states you are allowed to show your face and hands). The extent to which you follow the Quran is subject to your personal choices and that can be dependant on a number of things, including living in a Western society.

Sabira was wearing a plain black scarf with a black coat and told me of how wearing black is customary when someone has died, however she wears it otherwise (much to the dismay of her mother). Other “divergences” include plucking her eye brows and wearing make-up (although minimal). She explained that to her, wearing a scarf is to cover her beauty (half their beauty is considered their hair), as to not have distractions before marriage and so that her beauty is saved for her husband. Therefore wearing makeup and plucking your eyebrows can be seen as a sign you’re engaged or married (which she was often asked when she went back to Afghanistan).

The internet then told us that other readings into the Quran could be seen as covering your body for modesty, to be like the Prophet’s wives, or so you were not discriminated against because of your looks. When I asked, “So you could, if you wanted to, choose to not wear a scarf …?” she replied that you could. Considering how the media portrays Muslim women as oppressed, with little to no rights, this seemed in direct contrast to

the woman sitting across from me – studying towards a nursing degree, completely confident to meet with a stranger at Starbucks to discuss her religion. In 2011 France introduced a law against covering your face in public – which affected the use of the more traditional burqa. French politicians claimed that they were protecting “gender equality” and the “dignity” of women – however if it’s the Muslim woman’s choice to wear the burqa, then they’re restricting their ability to follow their faith and also taking away their right to wear what they want.

I asked if the Quran states anything about the type of material, colour or pattern and the answer was no – their sense of self-expression is in no way limited by their religious beliefs. In a way, it’s heightened. Their scarf is a direct demonstration of their faith and their adherence to it. Not many other religions have such significant visual displays of devotion. The scarf only becomes important after puberty; however there are situations where they do not need to wear it – with people they will not marry, such as their family. Muslim men also have restrictions however they’re not as visible – wearing a turban or sporting a moustache and beard are not stated in the Quran, but are things the prophet did and to be more like him, could include these things. There’s

...wearing make-up and plucking your eyebrows can be seen as a sign you’re engaged or married (which she was often asked when she went back to Afghanistan).

also no particular way to wear a scarf – however there are cultural trends, such as wearing it loosely being considered an Afghan way, and to wear it tighter more Arabic.

Scarves are available commercially although some women make their own. Sabira told me there didn’t used to be many scarves available, but there has been a rise in the Muslim population, creating more demand for scarves. Not to miss out on what the rest of the fashion world offers, places with high Muslim populations like United Arab Emirates, Indonesia and India all have their own fashion week (held in Dubai, Jakarta and Bangalore respectively). In 2007, Hiijab Style was started by Jana Kossaibati – a blog dedicated to addressing the needs of Muslim women in the UK. She has since gone on to write for Vogue.

During our meeting we spotted a group of Somali girls crossing the road outside. They were tall, gorgeous and all wearing scarves.

One girl in particular, wearing a fitted red peplum top, long blue pencil skirt was really strutting her stuff – proving that religion in no way hindered her style.

Feature So Alice and Anne went on a mission last week. We donned our balaclavas and utility belts and headed out into the bleak Hamilton day. Well we would have if we had needed to mete out some vigilante justice. But we didn’t, not on that day at least. It was strictly a surveillance mission, to surveil the latest trends and see what the cool kids will be wearing this spring.

The first trend we noticed, or moreover the first trend that slapped us in the face, was that of bright geometric pieces seemingly inspired by an explosion of different cultures.

There were oodles of asymmetrical trinkets in electric blue and gold, as well as bright yellow and pink beads, and brightly-coloured feathered earrings. For this trend, forget less is more, more is more! You can go crazy with this – think bright patterned maxi dresses and stacks of multicolored bangles. This would make a great beach look – it originated in the Northern hemisphere who have just had summer however, so you might want to wait a little before trying it on the beach. We don’t want to see icicles covering your trinkets.

The next trend that pervaded our senses was that of pastel. This is a look that is very spring-friendly. Pinks, mints, yellows, lilacs, baby blue and peach have all featured heavily in both stores and advertisements.

Pairing any pastel colour with white is always a winning combination, as is mixing and matching items with lace detailing. If you’re daring, you could try a pastel pantsuit a la Bowlcut Guy in the Gangnam Style video (although admittedly his suit was bright lemon and not pastel). For the less adventurous, however, both dresses and skinny jeans look cute in pastel colours, and chain stores offer both of these with quite affordable price tags. Be sure to look for good quality denim though.

22

The next trend we saw was one that we weren’t particularly convinced by, and that was the combination of beige, gold and fluoroescent yellow. The yellow and the gold together weren’t so bad but combined with the beige – trainwreck. Stella McCartney uses these colours in her sportswear, and other high fashion designers have created dresses and other formalwear with the three. We’re not really fans of mixing beige, a neutral brown tone, with fluoroescent yellow. It seems like it’s one step away from 70s orange and brown checked corduroy pants - and we all know how cool they were… But seriously *z-snap* honey, there’s probably a reason that no one’s put those hues together before.

There were also a couple of stand-alone pieces that featured heavily – the first of these was peplum. This is where there is a little extra piece of material at the bottom of a top/top of a skirt/middle of a dress that comes out from the waist and accentuates the hips. It makes for a lovely line but can look bad if it’s attached to the clothing in the wrong place. These items are reminiscent of the silhouettes that were popular in both the 40s and the 80s, and also bear resemblance to the futuristic outfits on The Jetsons, if any 90s kids remember that show. Peplums can be very figure-flattering, as they give a stark contrast between waist and hip. The different interpretations of them in high fashion are interesting also, with the likes of Ellie Saab and Giambattista Valli reimagining the trend.

The patterned jean is another stand-alone piece that’s new to the scene. These pants are very versatile – you can create many different looks with one pair. You could mix and match a t-shirt and chucks one day, and a midriff shirt and gladiator sandals the next, if your heart so desired. Jeans will tend to run on the first wash though, so

Feature

if you’re lazy like Alice avoid buying a pair that have highly contrasting colours, lest they run into each other and give you a failed tie-dye effect.

hair up and away from a collar so as to show it off, so try buns and braids paired with a winged eye and bright lip for a show-stopping look.

One trend that’s been around for a while and steadfastly refuses to get out of our stores and wardrobes is lace.

Lighter hues are coming in now to celebrate summer and the start of nicer weather (we hope), and a cream lace dress with a panama hat and sunglasses is one of the easiest looks to both assemble and execute well. Be sure that when you’re buying lace pieces you pay attention to the quality of the lace – whether the material and seams are well made, and also whether it’s going to stand up to machine-washing after a few beer and sunblock mishaps.

This season is very much a mix-and-match season. Most of these looks will marry together well, and you can pick one element of one trend and pair it with another of a different trend to create a new and interesting hybrid look. The overarching theme this spring is hard and soft.

When we out and about being all observant, we saw: studs on pastels; fluoro pink with a Ramones shirt; florals and leather and much much more. The music video for Nervo’s song You’re Gonna Love Again features a denim vest with tutu sleeves, which is another good example of hard with soft, so the theme seems to be pervading quite deeply into the art/fashion world at the moment.

Another look that always springs up around this time of year is floral (see what I did there?). This trend works well in conjunction with pastels and creates an effortless ladylike chic. Dresses with colourful flowers are always a winner for summer, whether the print is big or small. Just be sure to allow some breathing room. Tight dresses are good in winter as they tend to keep the warmth in, but in summer you’ll want a bit of airflow so that you don’t melt like a neglected Fruju. If it’s still a little chilly when you want to bust out your best flowery frock, pair it with some knee-high socks in a light colour and a pair of cutesy heels – it’ll keep you both on-trend and warm.

Collars are everywhere this season. Anne is a fan of the soft collar, such as a wee peter pan collar. These can be found everywhere at the moment, often made of lace and attached to a little tea dress. Hard collars such as your classic shirt collar are also present at the moment, with the shirt dress remaining popular and patterned button-down shirts being paraded about. It’s always best to keep your

Just as a quick note before you all head off to buy a nice pastel twinset, be sure to check the quality of the garments you’re buying, and keep in mind the amount of time that you’ll wear them – after all, they’re just trends.

You don’t want to go spending $120 on a pair of feathered earrings only to regift them to that one weird aunty later, scoffing at your past self’s poor choices. Just think how many pieces of Bongo Sushi that money could have bought!

Most importantly though, have fun with your outfits! If you’re having a good time, you can bet the onlookers are too.

Keep bringing the wonderful, Waikato – Alice and Anne.

23

Opinion

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That’s all some of you deserve. For everyone else, hey man; how are you? Good? Yeah I’m not bad either ae. Oh you didn’t ask? #ForeverAlone.

This week will be a journey through the sparatic nature that is my general pattern of thought. Resume reading.

You know the song, Gangnam Style? Obviously; if you are even mildly relevant. “Open cum dumpster.” Replay that chorus. Can I get a #accurate? Oh curr oh curr.

And now that all is said and done, I realise that you will continue to live your life and scream yolo into the wind whilst completly ignoring my yarns so I shall move on.

The more you know. Food for thought etc.

Sometimes I give you facts. So if:

And now for a new segment. This will be a regular occurrence for the next 6 days, assuming you re-read this for the next 6 days.

Your life is busy: Shut up.

TWEET HEARTS with @MrMintyFish.

You have to tell people if they’ve been cheated on: You don’t. It’s a selfish act. We all “want to know” until we know and then it’s Earth shattering. The only reason we say we want to know is because that makes the NOT being told; by default; reassurance that you haven’t been cheated on. Do you want real life advice right now. Before you put your giant ass mouth in and tell someone they’re being cheated on, make sure of the following.

- Whether they’re currently happy or not.

- You give the ‘cheat-er’ an opportunity to rectify the situation.

- That it’s not just for your own piece of mind.

- That telling the ‘cheat-ed’ one will improve things and not make them worse.

- Whether or not you have a personal investment in the situation.

- That the cheater is more of a caaaant than you are.

Top 5:

Guys are dicks: No more than bitches be crazy

@JaimeRidge24: “Cute photos xx” @RealWizKhalifa: “Still Walk Around Wit A Steelers Lighter” ANNNND basically anything that Drake Bell tweets. The C list is all “oh HELL no. We do not want him.”

Thank you for putting up with me. Or not putting up with me. I’m not sure. Continue with the whole good looking thing.

Love you a tonne.

MMF.x

Your relationship is over: Then why are you still fucking them?

People in Outback are trying to be hipsters: People in Static are trying to be hipsters. People in Outback are just trying to get laid.

You need to research for assignments: Third year in.

Still no proof.

It matters where our tax money goes: No. Either way, they’ll take it off us.

24

I genuinely don’t even know what this week’s MMF is about. This week has been colossal mindfuck of how-fucked-up-is-WestboroChurch proportions. Bear with me.

Grizzly bear with me. Sorry, these puns are the claws of lot of grief. Grizzly grizzly bear claws. Gahhh sorry I promised I woodn’t continue BAM Grizzly bears clawing bitches in the woods. Thank you.

Thank you. I’ll be here all week.

@boburnham: “Want to create a tear in the fabric of spacetime? Have James Lipton interview Ice-T while they both drink Lipton Ice Teas” @kingsleyyy: “My friend was crushing on this girl really hard and then she took her extensions out and turned into Cynthia from Rugrats.” @JimmyTatro: “Everyone has that friend who doesn’t know how to lower their voice when they’re talking shit about someone nearby” @Jenna_Marbles: “Goodnight everyone, go have sex with yourselves. It’s the only way to sexy time without weird consequences.” @kanyewest: “I hate khaki cargo shorts” Bottom 5:

P.S. “Hey babe, lets meet up in town and then make poor Thursday night decisions.” Sorry, autocorrect. I meant “How are you?”

E

very ten years since 1952 the prestigious British journal Sight & Sound has conducted a survey of international opinion to ascertain which films are thought the best. This exercise is a long way from the superficial type of lists perpetually featured in the likes of Empire magazine or on IMDB. Critics of reputation and experience from around the entire world are canvassed and the results rigorously calibrated. For its 2012 survey Sight & Sound also quizzed a lot more industry players - “programmers, academics and distributors” bringing the number of voters up to 846.

Much publicity has surrounded the fact that Citizen Kane, the movie which has topped the list for half a century, has been displaced by its nearest rival, Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo. Just as interesting for me are the results of a parallel survey conducted by the magazine in concert with the critics poll in which directors are asked to name their favourite 10 films.

A comparison of the critic’s and director’s lists is revealing. For the filmmakers themselves the supreme winner is neither Kane nor Vertigo but Tokyo Story, Yasujiro Ozu’s deeply moving, humanistic study of the generation gap and post-war cultural change in Japan. Citizen Kane ties for second place with the Stanley Kubrick science fiction epic 2001: A Space Odyssey. In fourth place is the most predictable

of choices for directors: Federico Fellini’s personal meditation on the filmmaker’s inspiration and art, 8 1/2. Next come two more contemporary works: Martin Scorsese’s Taxi Driver and Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now. Coppola’s The Godfather ties for 7th with Vertigo and the Top 10 is rounded out by Andrei Tarkovsky’s impenetrable Mirror and Vittorio De Sica’s Italian neo-realist classic Bicycle Thieves.

The top four selections plus Vertigo all feature in the Critic’s List. Overall there is a greater bias toward recent movies, suggesting current filmmakers are either less familiar or less impressed by the silent era than those who formally write about or otherwise analyse the medium.

Three of the critic’s selections are silent: FW Murnau’s lyrical romance Sunrise, Dziga Vertov’s visually stunning, impressionistic Soviet documentary Man with a Movie Camera and Carl Theodor Dreyer’s intense character study of religious martyrdom, The Passion of Joan of Arc. Another longtime Top 10 favourite, the montage heavy Battleship Potemkin, just misses out, coming in at number 11.

Other trends are common across both lists. In terms of revered Japanese masters, Ozu has usurped both Akira Kurosawa and Kenji Mizoguchi. In the 2002 Director’s List two Kurosawa films tied for 9th place: Rashomon and Seven Samurai. In the 2002 Critics List three of Mizoguchi’s works graced

the Top 50: The Story of the Late Chrysanthemums, Ugetsu Monogatari and Sansho Dayo. All bar one of these titles are now gone from the equivalent 2012 lists.

Some directors have retained their basic popularity but there has been a shift in opinion as to which is their best feature. For Scorsese this has meant his Raging Bull - sixth equal on the Director’s List in 2002 - is now overshadowed by Taxi Driver (5th on the Director’s List, 31st equal on the Critic’s). For Coppola, Apocalypse Now is now thought of more highly than either Godfather film (then considered to be one film, The Godfather and The Godfather Part II came in 2nd in the 2002 Director’s List). For Kubrick, 2001: A Space Odyssey might claim second place in 2012, but at the expense of Dr Strangelove (5th in 2002).

Other directors have fallen out of favour entirely. British filmmakers are particularly slighted in the Critic’s List, with no UK film featuring in the Top 50. The trend is echoed in the Director’s List, with David Lean’s Lawrence of Arabia - 4th in 2002 dropping out of the Top 10. Martin Scorsese continues to champion his friend Michael Powell but too few of his colleagues concur with the estimation.

Auteur House is proud to stock all of the titles alluded to above. Its proprietor can generate a few lists of his own. Maybe the 2022 voting papers are in the mail.

25

Reviews

REVIEWS JPod

By Douglas Coupland I’ve already reviewed a Doug Coupland novel this year, yet here I am going there again. The specific place I’m visiting, is JPod. A pod is, for anyone who’s ever had the misfortune of working in an office, a collection of desks in an open plan environment. The ‘J’ refers to the alphabetical method of organising the pods. The story’s protagonists are those who have had the bad luck of being lumped in that workstation.

This is what large corporations do. Mind numbing methods of organisation, that suck away at your soul.

If the novel was simply a satire of this, it would be interesting enough as it is. But it’s much more than that.

The corporation concerned is a large software design company, and Coupland uses it as a platform to highlight all that is awry with modern life.

The protagonists are a bunch of autistic game programmers who spend too much time in virtual space.

Bullshit marketing, banal computer games, the internet, the rise of China, shallow relationships – all are a target for Coupland’s sights. It’s like watching an episode of the Simpsons – which is an apt comparison – because the novel is peppered with Simpsons references. I hesitate to use the word hip to describe a writer, but I can’t help but associate it with Coupland.

What other writer visually experiments with their text?

Whole pages are devoted to isolating jargon and internet speak. For instance one page consists solely of computer coding language. About twenty-three pages are devoted to the first 100,000 digits of pi. The Chinese characters for TV, pornography and shopping occupy a page each. If you find a copy have a flick through and you’ll see what I mean. The most important thing is that these visual tricks are not gratuitous either. They complement JPod’s theme, that computers can modify human behaviour to such an extent that we can become one dimensional digital avatars – in real life.

Reviewed by Kevin Pryor

Reviews

the wait staff who thanks me for not needing a receipt as I “saved trees”.

The potato cakes were plain but

Rocket Espresso Bar, better with the cold smoked salmon 385 Grey Street, Hamilton East

Rocket Espresso bar was opened by Rocket Coffee roasters way back in 1998. My friend and I were excited to visit the café under the new owners. We headed in at 10.00am for breakfast. The café was a vibrant, bustling little hot spot buzzing with happy customers from mothers and children, groups of business men, girls meeting up over muesli and couples enjoying the café’s sunny location. The café’s name explains the high curved ceilings, plain white wall and the inbuilt wall lights giving the impression of a spacecraft. The ‘space’ theme had a slightly retro feel with red walls, lolly dispensers, ‘spaceman’ lolly sticks for sale and a huge, cartoon astronaut painted on one of the walls. Clearly, children are welcome and books and toys are provided. With no art at all in the first room, it was saved for the back room/ art gallery featuring a collection of Maori inspired pieces by Hika Taewa .

The blackboard menu was congested with breakfast and lunch options, which was cluttered and hard to read. Another blackboard shows specials and the selections feature café classics from eggs benedict to The Big Breakfast. The cabinet was overwhelming with a huge range of cakes, muffins, pastries, jam doughnuts, ficelle and pide bread sandwiches, pies, mini-bagels and scones, most from Pandoro bakery in Auckland. I order Potato cakes with salmon and a side salad ($10.00) and a flat white ($4.20). My friend orders eggs on toast ($9.70) with a side of bacon ($4.50), a long black ($3.70) and a piece of pecan pie ($4) to share.

What was most appealing about their extensive menu is the cafés nod it the environment. Rocket espresso bar uses free range bacon and eggs, fair-trade coffee, organic milk and eco-friendly cleaning products. The café’s green attitude is reinforced by

and caper salad, the stars of the dish.

In the absence of aioli was a delicious tomato relish I am sure I would have preferred anyway. The bacon and eggs were a simple and honest meal; tasty bacon and fried eggs done well and the whole grain toast was a healthy touch. Sitting in the sun, watching people pass by and listening to the grinding coffee machine, bursts of laughter and the erratic tone of a busy café while sipping on rich, velvet coffee was the highlight of the morning. The pecan pie was a pleasant ending.

The service was wonderful. The wait staff were genuine, attentive and happy. Dressed in everyday casuals, they create a comfortable and relaxed atmosphere. Little touches like lemon segments in the water and children’s art work gives the café character.

The dusty skirting boards do not.

Rocket is open from 7.30am-4.00pm weekdays, and 8.00am -2.00pm on the weekend. The café has a selection of standard but classic café food at reasonable prices ranging from $10$20. Rocket is a honest café with a lively atmosphere and great coffee.

The efficient and positive wait staff made the experience one we intend to repeat.

Reviewed by Julia Gabel

Video clip of the week – Lay me Down by Cold Specks. Canadian Soul self-starter rocking Later with Jules Holland (via youtube.com) Free legal download of the week – Westside, Right on Time by Kendrick Lamar and Young Jeezy. Gruff hip hop from the new breed of both West and East Coast US rap (via soundcloud.com).

Banga by Patti Smith 8/10 I have tried creating a theme over the year of sharing music with you I like and that you can get your hands on legally for cheap/koha/free. I figure, if you’re anything like me, you want to hear something new and different but the income doesn’t quite stretch to paying for music. Well, this week, I decided to stretch. Patti Smith’s new album is full price, but totally worth it.

Patti Smith will forever be known as the godmother of punk rock, her 1975 album, Horses cementing her place in the creation of the movement. She has been scorned

by The Rolling Stones for being ”too intellectual” (although I’m not sure that’s an insult?) and inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Her new album continues that legacy of rock with a literary element. Opening track Amerigo infuses her poetry and the electric guitar rock and roll of her past. The chorus shows a softer side of Smith, but the poetry spilling over the verses stays true to her core. “I saw the new/The inconstant shifting of fortune/And now I write to you/ Words that have not been written/ Words from the New World.”

April Fool is a soft and sparse pop song, almost too sweet for Smith but showing a genuine delicateness that is often hidden. It’s one of the catchier songs on the album and one of my favourites. Fuji-san contrasts nicely with a darker atmosphere pushing through the strong rock ballad. It will satisfy the fans of Smith’s more sonic and manic back catalogue.

As she has done for Jim Morrison,

Kurt Cobain and many others, Smith offers a eulogy or homage of sorts to the latest fallen pop icon, Amy Winehouse on This is the Girl. It’s a beautiful and elegant song with soft harmonies and Smith’s nuanced poetry. Smith has always been affected by the death of those she admires and this tribute shows her insightful sense of empathy. And that’s really how the album feels. It’s beautiful, laced with Smith’s poetry full of insight and nodding it’s head to those who have inspired her along the way.

Smith’s lyrics have softened and since the chaotic and vengeful “Piss Factory” type poems. I think that makes it an easier listen, even though I still enjoy the rawness of her earlier stuff, although that maybe due to my parents having it on record when I was growing up. This album feels as though it can stretch beyond her punk rock beginnings. Mosaic is driving and accessible singer/ songwriter piece that the girls I live with are bound to pick up and play alongside their favourite Tracey Chapman or Sinead O’Conner songs, while Tarkovsky (The second Stop is Jupiter) and Senca have the sparkling, but submerged poetry that could appeal to anyone interested in musician/poets as varied as Saul Williams and Leonard Cohen.

The final track, a cover of Neil Young’s After the Gold Rush finds, as she often does, the essence of the original song while throwing the listener something new, but subverted within the realms of the original. It’s no easy feat, but

check out Smith’s version of Van Morrison’s Gloria or R.E.M’s Everybody Hurts and you’ll hear the same subtle twists on classic songs.

One thing Smith, like other artists, can now take advantage of, is you checking the album out on Spotify, Groovehsark or some other service if you want to be sure. But I’m happy with my purchase, even if my bank account has that big hole in it.

Reviewed by HP

Documentaries always make the best films to be shown at film festivals.

That’s what people who go to those things love, it seems. While I can’t say I’ve ever gone to a film festival, I can say that Indie Game: The Movie is probably the best documentary film I’ve ever seen.

The film follows the developers of Super Meat Boy (Edmund McMillen and Tommy Refenes) and FEZ (Phil Fish) while the games are in development - Super Meat Boy being the console and Steam recreation of a popular flash game called Meat Boy and FEZ being a hugely popular concept that, at the time of the film, had been in development for many years and was considered to be an amazing game that would never actually be created.

The film doesn’t just follow these indie developers though. It explains the history around indie game development. How indie games

didn’t have much of a chance until online distribution. How online distribution was stopped by the threat that physical stores would stop stocking their product. How Steam created possibility by showing Sony and Microsoft that online distribution not only is possible, but it makes sense.

Indie Games aren’t just mass-market games produced on a budget. They’re small teams of developers who have an idea for a game and a passion for gaming. They’re games that people have poured their heart and soul into.

They’re games that often cause strain in relationships, because when you’re a small developer, it’s difficult to pay yourself and create the game. That’s what creates the passion behind indie games - they’re small groups of people who are risking their personal relationships for an idea.

It’s not about the money, because the likelihood of someone becoming a millionaire from an indie game is quite low. Sure, Minecraft managed it, as did a few other games like Braid.

Watching this film will (if you have a conscience) stop you from pirating games again, because you will know what people go through in order to get this game to you.

Indie Game: The Movie is available on DVD and Blueray from shop. indiegamethemovie.com or as a download or stream at buy. indiegamethemovie.com.

KICK-ASS MEXICAN FOOD ...AT GOOD HONEST PRICES

HAMILTON’S OLDEST MEXICAN RESTAURANT -THE CHEAPEST AND THE BEST. Meals from under $10 Over 30 Tequilas from $4

No Mains over $20 Cocktails from $7

Over 15 Beers from $5 Beer Buckets / Cocktail Jugs

DINE IN OR TAKE-AWAY PH 838 1777 IN THE MARKETPLACE, HOOD ST. HAMILTON

LICK THAT SPOON with Hoory Yeldizian What I really enjoy in writing these articles is delivering to the readers unique, out of the ordinary recipes to challenge the readers’ thoughts on the food. It’s exciting to show people what magical things you can achieve with food that makes you feel so warm and fuzzy. If you are always yearning for a creamy chocolate pudding but don’t feel like taking the time to do it then my instant chocolate mousse is ideal. The use of the marshmallows takes out the risk splitting the mixture and having a grainy consistency. Instead, heavenly smooth chocolate spoonfuls are guaranteed. Happy Licking!

Instant Rich Chocolate Mousse Ingredients

150g mini marshmallows 50g soft butter 250g good dark chocolate (minimum 70% cocoa solids), chopped into small pieces ¼ cup hot water 1 tub thickened cream 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 tbsp brandy (optional)

Method 1. Put the marshmallows, butter, chocolate and water in a heavy-based saucepan.

2. Put the saucepan on the stove over a low heat and melt the contents gently while stirring now and again. When completely melted, set aside and let it cool slightly.

3. After cooling, whip the cream with the vanilla extract until combined, and then fold into the cooling chocolate mixture.

Add brandy here if you like.

4. Pour into 4-6 glasses and chill until you want to eat. The sooner the better!

ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING Pursuant to rule 9.1 of the constitution of the Waikato Students’ Union Incorporated, notice is hereby given that the Annual General Meeting of members shall be held on:

Wednesday 26th September 2012 at 1pm, in L.G.01

Business to be conducted includes: Presentation of the annual report Presentation of the audited accounts Presentation of the annual plan and budget Approval of membership fees and directors honoraria Appointment of the auditor and the solicitor

Things not to do if you don’t want hospo staff to hate you There are many more, but here are a few of my pet peeves off the top of my head from my time working in cafes and restaurants, and from what I can tell of talking to co-workers they’re fairly common among those in the hospitality industry......

Don’t take the ‘water’ glasses off the top of the coffee machine.

Seriously, do you think we keep water glasses there?

Preheating them for you to put your chilled water in?

Don’t be a jackass, those are latte glasses, they are heating for the hot coffee we are about to put in them. Not only is this annoying to the barista that has to smile and let you carry on while they fetch more glasses for the coffee they were making, it’s just bad science; warm glasses + cold water? Genius. Try looking near wherever you find the cold water, if you can’t see any cold-looking glasses why not ask someone?

Don’t let your kid make a fucking mess of the place I get it; it’s my job to clean up after you, that’s what I’m paid for, blah blah blah. But you know what’s kinda rude?

Expecting another human, paid or not (not employed in the childcare industry), to clean up after your precious little shit storm. Things included in my job description: wiping down tables/highchairs/chairs, clearing empty dishes etc. Things not included in my job description: picking up a thousand smushed chips from the floor under your table, scraping sushi and crushed banana from the recesses of a highchair, rounding up sticky soiled wrappers and crap from things you didn’t even purchase from my cafe.

Be polite I know it may seem like it’s my job to smile and be polite and say please and thank you and you’re right, it totally is. But don’t forget that I am human too and paying for a coffee or a meal doesn’t grant you some magical right treating me like I’m somehow subservient to you. There is absolutely no reason for you to be rude, and act superior just because I’m being paid to serve food to you. Sure, if your order is screwed up maybe get a little sharp, but even then the person you’re being a snarky bitch to probably wasn’t the one at fault.

Seriously, don’t be an asshat.

You know what will happen if you do all this shit anyway, because you don’t care how the staf feel about you? Absolutely nothing; in all my years I’ve never seen someone spit in a burger, drop someone’s food on the floor or do something unsavoury to your beverage because you are a gargantuan douchebag. I’m not even going to give in to my urge to make you a slightly subpar coffee because I don’t much like you, I’m a professional and I’m good at what I do and I’m not going to forsake that for one second just because your mum didn’t teach you basic social skills. But you know what I have seen in my years of hospo? People who repeatedly go out of their way to make your experience special, especially if you don’t suck; if you’re a nice person I’ll remember your coffee order and slip it into my line-up while you’re still languishing at the back of a slow moving line, I’ll even give you a wink so you don’t lose hope. I’ll remember details about your life so I can make pleasant conversation with you, hopefully it makes you feel welcome and at home. If I have happy feelings about your tribe of rugrats I will go out of my way to bring them some toys or crayons, and if they look a little sad I will bring them a marshmallow to cheer them up (this has honestly never failed).

Not sucking: Better than sucking since, like, forever.

The Shrugs Album release with BANGLADE$H and Sly Satire Static $10 door charge, or $15 with CD (I’ll do the CD deal if I were you!)

Three bands, two options, one awesome night. A pretty good way to spend a Friday night indeed!

Whatever floats your boat, chances are there’s something for you this weekend.

The possibilities are endless!

Wednesday, September 12 Skint 7-9 pm, House Bar Same deal. Weekend starts today! Bit of a hump day treat with $5 pizza, drink deals, and a cool DJ on the deck!

2 for 1 Wednesdays 5-10 pm, Grand Central Hotel The awesome moment when cocktail hour lasts for 5 hours.

Thursday, September 13 Skinny presents Bacardi Cardi Party at Agenda So Bacardi is coming to party if you are wearing a cardi.

Guys, now is the time to rock those cardigans. Ladies, they’ve got 2 for $20 cardis at Temt. Bonus: They have pastel coloured ones ermahgherd!! DJ Bones playing the best tunes you love too. Seems legit.

Friday, September 14 House of Shem live at Altitude Doors open at 8:30 pm Pre-sale tickets: $30 + bf There is no “hard road” for these guys after their yearlong tour around USA and Australia!

Shitripper and Electric Mayhem w/ Too Late, SlaveDriver, Downside and Demonstrate Kicks off at 8pm, Void 651 $10, all ages To quote Jack Black circa School of Rock, “you’re not hardcore unless you live hardcore”.

Saturday, August 15 Electro Static Static Gold coin entry Broadcasting live at Fevah FM with resident famous DJ and all-around sweetheart Bevan Nichols. If you’re really nice, he might even give you a shout-out too!

Fevah FM Drive Show with Jess and Mandy.

Weekdays 4-6pm. They were not kidding when they said they’d get you home one way or another. Intrigued? Stream it live at http://fevah.co.nz.

I was in the process of patting a seemingly friendly dog when I was viciously grabbed and hauled into a darkened room. I was surrounded by darkness. I opened my eyes and found that it was still dark.

“Shhhh!” came a voice within the darkness.

“See, I told you it wasn’t him”, whispered another.

I felt a hand reach down and grasp my hand. “He still has all of his fingers - are you sure the dog’s still out there?” whispered voice No.1 who was closest to me.

“It is, it is!”, whispered voice No.2 urgently.

“Has he seen my chicken?” asked voice No.3.

“Shhhh!”, collectively shussed voices No.1 and No.2.

I heard a door opening in the hallway, which was followed by another bout of “Shhh-ing” behind me.

“Let’s go, you infernal beast”, came a familiar satanic voice from behind the door. The total darkness became more total at the sound of his voice.

A growl, then footsteps.

A bang.

“Ow! Dam sign!”. **DING** **SWISH** “Sub-Sub-Basement – going up.”

Silence.

“Thank god for that, he’s gone”, said voice No.3.

“Sshhh!...” replied No.2.

“No need to be quiet, he’s gone!”, replied No.2. “Now where’s the lightswitch”.

“Ooww, that’s my nose!”, came a very nasal No.1. The light came on. I turned to see the designated owners of the three voices. They belonged to three old lecturers huddled in a row. Voice No.1 belonged to Dr. Prill, one of my lectures.

“Oh, it’s you”, said he. “What on earth are you doing here?

And why isn’t Professor *****’s dog chewing on your severed arm right now?”

“Well, I only presented him with the vegetarian menu I guess”, said I, “and I came to see him about my essay mark.”

“Why would you want to see a dog about your essay?”, said Voice No.2 that came from lecturer No.2.

“No, not the dog, I came to see Professor ***** about the essay”, Said I. “You intentionally came to see him?”, asked the No.3.

“You may have had a better chance talking to the dog,” said No.2.

“Eight, nine, ten…yes, he has got all of his fingers!” mumbled No.3.

“Hang on, why are you all in here anyway?” Asked I. No.2 and No.3 looked at each other with a knowing look and shook their heads in unison and together. No.1, Dr. Prill, looked at me with an unknowing look and nodded just to be different.

So you’ve had your two-week break, and now you’ve returned all spick and spam for a new term. You’re ready to write all those last-minute essays and reports and study notes and Facebook statuses, each with pristine grammar and punctuation. Put simply, you’re buzzing. But there’s something you’re forgetting, something as blatant as attending a job interview without wearing pants; except, in this case, you think strutting around pantless is considered acceptable. Simile aside, you’re using words that, quite frankly, aren’t words.

Fortunately, knowledge is my trade, and my payment is your prosperity.

“Alot” Alot is not aword. Neither is apony or aporkchop.

Weird, right?

“Aswell” It’s ‘as well’, with a gap for personal space in between.

“Alright” You might not get the red underline for this one. Know why? Because it’s so disgraceful you should know better.

‘All right’ - now there’s a breath of fresh air.

“Dieing” Just look at the three vowels in the middle there and tell me that it makes even a smidgen of sense to pronounce that mutation of letters as ‘die-ing’. I’d probably go for ‘deeeng’, like an Australian-accented doorbell. (The correct spelling for someone whose health is presently waning to the point of no-longer-living is ‘dying’).

“Ragland” When someone says ‘Ragland’ I think of a meadow filled with old shirts and car engine-stained flannels; and then I say, “Oh, you mean Raglan. That place is far less exciting.”

“Some-think”, “any-think” and “every-think” A friend who needs better arguments recently uttered that words ending in ‘ing’ sometimes have a ‘k’ stuck to the end to help conclude without having to trail off, since the ‘ng’ on its own doesn’t really finish. I remained unconvinced, replying that any word ending with a vowel doesn’t ‘finish’, and therefore we should add a ‘k’ to them, too. And then I said, “Don’t even think about it.” Yet why does no one say “think” when they mean “thing”?

“Some-pink” No one says this, either, except my childhood neighbour friend. He had a permanent blocked nose or something.

He was trying to say “something”, but his ‘th’ became ‘p’, and then he added the letter ‘k’ like an epilogue to his verbal diarrhoea. He also said, “If I was you” instead of “If I were you”, the former of which was excruciating to my seven-year-old ears. Of course, either one works. I know that now. Good thing I never bothered to correct him. He always remembered to wear pants, mind you.

HELP! I have just received letter from the Discipline Committee stating that Turn-it-in has picked up potential plagiarism in one of my assignments, what does this mean?

What is plagiarism and misconduct? Plagiarism is when someone else’s work has potentially been incorporated into another’s by: incorrect citation; without another knowing; or through paraphrasing. It is also classed as plagiarism if you change one or two words from another source in your assignment. Plagiarism is a form of misconduct.

If students are unaware of what the correct referencing format is for a paper then they should have a look at their paper outline.

The Student Discipline Committee is made up of a chairperson, an administrator, lecturers of the university and students representatives. The discipline committee works together to hear a student’s case, ask them questions and then come up with an outcome. In first instance, students with a possible allegation against them will have the choice to have a Summary Jurisdiction; this is a meeting including the chairperson, the administrator, the student and a support person (optional). Again, the chairperson will ask questions so that they understand the student’s side of the case and the come up with an outcome.

Tikanga Maori. As stated under Section 13 of the Student Discipline Regulations in the University Calendar, the spirit of tikanga is to seek resolutions to complaints in a Māori way that encourages a facilitated open exchange of views, in order to achieve a resolution that is agreed by all the parties involved.

What is Turn-it-in?

Turn-it-in is an internet-based software that analyses through students written work for any unoriginal material.

Turn-it-in then prints out a report of a percentage of copied material, if there is any. If the Turn-it-in report has detected plagiarism, your lecturer may send the report into the discipline committee to look into. How can the WSU Student Advocate help? We provide independent advice for students who need to meet with the Student Discipline Committee.

We can help you by: • Understand what will happen at the discipline meeting • Understand your rights • Prepare the information you need to bring to the discipline meeting • Support you when you attend the discipline meeting.

• Access other support if you need it.

We are a free and confidential service.

Contact Amber by phone: 07 856 9139 or by email: advocacy@wsu.org.nz

Employment Agreement Check List.

This might not be fashionable but just like that big hoodie in the back of your wardrobe; one day you might be really happy to have one.

Why would you be happy to have an employment agreement?

- Employment agreements are your first point of call when something goes wrong - Employment agreements are a great reference point when you feel too awkward to question something your employer is requesting - Employment agreements set out the terms and conditions of your employment and being a good employee is easier when you know what your employer expects - Having an employment agreement keeps your employer out of trouble - employers can be fined for every employee without an employment agreement.

So what needs to be in an employment agreement?

The essentials are: - Your name - Your employer’s name - A description of the work - The place where the work will be done - Hours of work - Pay rates - Problem resolution guidelines and services - Trial period provision if there is one If you ask the YWRC and most other experienced employees it is great to have as many specifics as possible in your agreement such as: - Extra pay allowances - like clothing, overtime, meals - Breaks - What type of clothing is required - Will they be providing you with training- and what are the terms of the training eg. will you be bonded there - Redundancy terms - Transport, - Staff discounts, Most importantly-anything that you and the employer negotiate and agree upon. Get it in writing!!

If you have any questions check out our facebook www.facebook.com/youngworkersrc or call us on 0800 AT YWRC

Fashion Inspiration Before the first commercial break in The G.C I decided it was the worst show I had seen on New Zealand television. I would prefer Dickinson’s Real Deal. That was before I saw the advert for The Ridges. In the show we can expect to see the off-cuts of Matthew Ridge, his daughter Jamie and ex-wife Sally, go about their busy celebrity lives as they try to upgrade their profile. What is it about the “New Zealand Kardashians” that make them so fascinating we are willing to watch their daily life on television?

Who is it that inspires us today and where do we get our inspiration for fashion from?

Fashion icons like Alexa Chung exhibit impeccable outfits while strutting down Rodeo Drive adding items to their cart that cost more than our student loans. They are effortlessly flawless and inspiring.

It seems like Miss.Chung and company do not do too much except pick out great clothes and look good wearing them to festivals and other events on their social calendar. Such a lifestyle is not open to students. Though, I know you look great slouching in your Canterbury sweats at the back of your law lecture, looking like Alexa Chung around the clock is a full time job needing a bottomless bank account and loads of free time.

These extravagant figures are great inspirations but no one I know can purchase Prada fresh off the catwalk. Like The Ridges (getting paid $5,000 per week for the show), they are wildly unrealistic examples of a lifestyle for poor students. But, thanks to local stores and boutiques with reasonable prices and high quality, we can still look great and pay the rent.

Gate 1, University of Waikato

07 838 4177

Outside the glossy, over-stylized magazine spreads is the virtual fashion world. Bloggers like Nicole Warne introduce new ways to source your fashion fix. Warne expanded her passion for vintage items and fashion on her blog Gary Pepper Vintage where she hand selects vintage and quirky items to feature. Aided by the Internet, blogs allow consumers and customers to share their creativity with their peers and become the inspirational figures. The beauty about it is that anyone can blog whether it be about fashion, food, travel or whatever. Anyone can access blog sites and there are no restrictions, allowing bloggers the creative freedom to explore and lead the way in fashion. There are no longer rules for fashion.

Individuality overrides the need to fit in and conform.

Instead, people express their individuality and find their own inspirations for fashion rather than rely on iconic figures, or figures a little less iconic on the television. I will watch the first episode of The Ridges but only to see what all the fuss is about. I’m sure others that watch will be doing so for the same reason.

N: Would you say that you have any particular influence in your music?

WA: Yeah, I’m influenced by all things real hip hop, so that can be anything from what I see going on in the world, which is evident in the song Trayvon, to artists that inspire me to make a song, a certain type of song, for example True Colours that was inspired by the artists Hopsin, so things like that.

N: You’ve just come back from LA playing the Indie Music Festival, how did that go?

WA: It was really cool, went in there first day not quite knowing what to expect, you know, never having been over to America, expecting only one performance. Got my performance, plus more. Ended up impressing the guys that run UndergroundHipHopBlog.com, one of the biggest underground hip hop blogs in the world, and they ended up taking me around to meet all these crazy underground artists doing sold out shows every night and one of them liked me enough to ask me to open for him on his tour, So, I was opening for him for my week that I was there which was crazy.

N: So you’re going back over there to do a tour next year?

WA: Yeah, next year they’ve invited me back to do a tour of Cali, so that’s one tour and we’re taking back at least one New Zealand artist which I’m still working with people, seeing who I think should go back with me. I’ve been invited to another tour as well which will be a seven city tour with this artist called D Cross who is this amazing rap artist from Las Vegas and he’s organising a seven city tour where he’s asking me to jump on, so I’m going to try and make sure I can fit the dates around both of them.

N: Your EP, BlankCanvas, that’s been out for a while now. What sort of response have you had with the EP? WA: BlankCanvas, the response I got from that was crazy. I mean it was the first EP under the name Winston Anthony, so I didn’t know what to expect, sort of a whole new fan base, and everyone’s loved it. Within the first week of releasing it, a guy who runs a blog called [VanguardRed] heard it and he blogged it and compared me to the likes of Ab-Soul, who’s a crazy lyricist, so I was like wow. Base FM were jamming some of the tracks, Rep FM up in Auckland made me Artist of the Week, all within the first two weeks of releasing it. It got hundreds of downloads in the first week as well, some of those being paid downloads as well which was very unexpected. I put the paid option there because I was like “Oh, let’s see what we can do” and I didn’t actually expect people to buy it. Yeah, it was crazy and I mean even after going to

Interview

Nexus: What brought you into rap?

Winston Anthony: I’ve always been into music and when my voice broke I got too lazy to keep that together, that was singing-wise. But I guess I decided to rap because I still wanted to make music, couldn’t really sing anymore and rap seemed to work.

LA and coming back, BlankCanvas carrying on. I mean before I went to LA it seemed like the buzz was sort of mellowing out again, and then I came back and the buzz has resurged even higher now on the number of downloads I’ve had just in the last week. Yeah, my other friend in New York actually Facebooked me the other day and was like “Yeah, I was rolling the streets, hear this car blasting some music, I’m like where do I know that voice from?” then the chorus hit and he’s like “holy shit, it’s your song, Castle” and I’m like damn that’s in New York, that’s amazing.

People are getting it, which is good. I mean, my sister was telling me the other day that at her school she hear someone playing Trayvon and I was like wow, okay.

N: There’s been a few people say things like you’re the best rapper to come out of New Zealand for ages, how does it make you feel to have stuff like that said?

WA: Um, big shoes to fill. I mean, it was always a goal of mine to be the best. I just didn’t expect people to start saying it so soon and because like in my head, I’m not there yet. So, I’m very humbled when people say things like, “yeah, he’s the best alive” and “best around in New Zealand”. I had a Twitter follower the other day say I was NZ’s hip hop king. My reply was “big call”.

N: What is next? What is planned for the rest of the year?

WA: Since I’ve been back, I’ve been in contact with an independent label, Pure Dopeness Entertainment, and we’re looking at working together. My next EP, Winner’s Academy, we’ve set a release date12 September and that’ll be under Pure Dopeness Entertainment, I will also be going on a North Island tour with them.

Everything I guess is building up to, I guess, the big California tour. That’s the big one for me, that’s the one that’s worldwide recognition. I guess I want to be in the position where I have a lot of New Zealand on lock by then.

Interview by Daniel Farrell

37

opinion

in life can be. That narrative is how ‘obvious’ it is that we should drug test beneficiaries. It is oppressive and oppression is pretty violent, really.

My favourite F words are fairness and feminism.

Two very basic ideas that completely elude Paula Bennett, and reduce me to using the only other F word that she understands (hint: it is not fashion).

Feelings.

Paula’s gut feeling, she confessed, is what she bases policy decisions on. Policy decisions that effect the lives of our most vulnerable and in need people. Paula’s gut feeling is worth more to her than policy and research units, evidence and legal opinions. Drug testing on beneficiaries, a policy the Ministry of Health has estimated to cost $14million per year, Paula just thought was “obvious”.

Zero research into the policy had actually been conducted despite having a policy and research unit at her disposal.

You could be forgiven for thinking that is a little bit fucked. Though I hope that you think it is a lot fucked.

While changing the access, availability and level of assistance of what once was a welfare state, the idea and perception of En Zed being a welfare state has not changed. ‘There is no excuse for poverty in New Zealand because we have a welfare system”, is a line I have heard variations of countless times. Every time I am disappointed by the people who say it. I expect more compassion and considered thought from people, because I know everyone is capable of it. If they are just repeating a line they have been taught by the beneficiary bashing culture which gets repeated in ‘the media’, then they are reproducing that ‘knowledge’, strengthening the idea that poverty is a choice (seriously, who chooses to live in unnecessary hardship?) and enacting discursive violence against people they have never met without an understanding of either the welfare system or the dynamics of poverty. (If, however, they have really thought about it, done some research and still think there is ‘no excuse for poverty’, then it is entirely possible that they have quite the mean streak.)

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Discursive violence? Yeah, when I first learnt about it I went ‘come on, that’s a bit much!’ too. So, what I mean by discursive violence is that by allowing ourselves to blame the poor for being poor we are continuing to provide justification to policy which is detrimental to the wellbeing of others. We perpetuate a way of thinking which justifies decisions that then determine the wellness, opportunity and experience for the increasing number of poor people in our communities. We take away their liberties, as we construct a narrative of people who live in or with poverty as being incapable, worthless and immoral and that narrative gains the power to re-define what their options

Asides from how completely inaccurate and unjustified the beneficiary bashing culture is (average time on the DPB? 2 years. Not 20+, like those ‘dependants’ we keep hearing about) what has actually changed about our welfare system of late? The abolishment of the training incentive allowance, medical certificates required per 4 weeks with a maximum of 13 weeks after the third certificate, drug testing of beneficiaries, people with outstanding arrest warrants will no longer receive a benefit while evading Police (hint: consider the relationship between crime, poverty and the socioeconomic status of beneficiaries. Also consider human rights and factor in the power of the state and how that interacts with things like Paula Bennett using the private details of a beneficiary in a public debate after they had criticized the Government. Connect the dots.). The list of changes is pretty huge and pretty damaging.

It is also incredibly unfair on children who are born into circumstances beyond their control and have their wellness compromised because our government is busy chanting it’s increasingly discredited mantra of individual responsibility. Budgeting advice is nice, but the reason people are poor is because they don’t have enough to start with- not because they are unable to work out their finances. It assumes people are incapable, and that incentivizing behaviour changes of individuals will fix social inequalities. Or maybe inequality doesn’t matter to this Government. The consequences for not ‘behaving’ AKA responding to the incentives to work (because beneficiaries are deficient miscreants as opposed to people who want to work, contribute and live well?) involve having benefits halved (which is the lenient option when the person has children dependant on them).

Exactly how this approach is meant to be a ‘safety net’, I do not know. Perhaps our thinking and system have changed to the point where if you need a safety net, it is because you are somehow a failure, or just really lazy.

When you hear the Government proudly proclaiming how many people have been moved off the unemployment benefit, ask yourself what that really means. When they say, X many thousands of people no longer receive welfare support, ask yourself what the lives of those people might really be like now. And ask yourself what kind of society and people we are to allow poverty and inequality to persist, to remove help from those who need it most. It has been said that you should judge a society by how they treat the poor. Paula Bennett get’s an F.