Nexus 2018 Issue 07

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Editorial FOMO News Easy News Horoscopes Entertainment Reviews Pass the Aux Yam & Troy the Science Boys Club Spotlight: WESMO Random Audit: CHEMY100 Centrefold Feature: Korea: The Worst Possible Outcome

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The Crowd Goes Mild Full Exposure: Mallrat This vs That Waikat’ Flats Arts How to Fix Everything Blind Date Snapped Puzzles

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Nexus Issue 7 9th - 13th April 2018 Editor: Lyam Buchanan, editor@nexusmag.co.nz Design: Vincent Owen, design@nexusmag.co.nz Managing Editor: James Raffan, james@wsu.org.nz Deputy Editor: Grace Mitchell News Editor: Alexander Nebesky Sub Editor: Jennie-Louise Kendrick Reviews Editor: Archie Porter Contributors: Alexander Nebesky, Jennie-Louise Kendrick, Grace Mitchell, Joel McManus, Nicola Smith, Emily Reid, Maddy Pitkethley, Kim Sare, Archie Porter, Onyx Lily, Conor Maxwell. CJ Lee, Jacqui Swney, Troy Anderson, Fraser Clement and the WESMO crew, Cameron McRobie, Jared Ipsen, Peter Dornauf, and the gracious tenants of The Lodge

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Cover and Feature Artwork: Joshua Hart-Vrijkotte Instagram: @vrijkotte Centrefold: Javier R. Pinto Instagram: @jrpinto.me Online: www.jrpinto.co Horoscope Illustrations: Josh Nelson Instagram: @joshprobably Twitter: @joshDrawbably Design Interns: Patrick Knights, Ray Puri Video Interns: Isaac Wohlers, Madison MacInnes Podcast Editor: Caleb Bird

EDITORIAL EDITORIAL

Tax me Harder, Papi I’m all for the improvement of public transport, along with further development of more renewable methods of it. Most people are; it’s fairly standard. What I’m not overly sold on is the idea that our current means of transport is becoming less accessible—in favour of eventually improving Auckland’s congestion.

Get fucked. Surely there’s a better way of fixing transport in the glorious Supercity without making it harder for those who rely on fuel to make their living.

For context, the Government is currently looking to increase the current fuel tax by 9 to 10 cents per litre nationwide. On top of this, there are also proposals for an additional regional fuel tax in both the Waikato and Auckland of another 9 to 10 cents per litre. A 20 cent increase in the price of fuel is relatively substantial, it’s not enough to push drivers off the road, but it’s enough to rile the majority of us who feel physically pained every time we have to fill our cars.

Green Party MP Julie Anne Genter recently stated in Parliament that this increase would cost “...less than one cup a coffee a week for the average household…”

Though how the fuck do you define an average household in Auckland? What does it matter if this change will only cost the “average” inner-city suburban household less than $5? They aren’t the ones at a detriment from this change.

What effect will this have on those who can’t afford to live in central Auckland and spend 4 hours each day stuck in a commute? What impact will this have on taxi drivers, Ubers, couriers, truckies, and everyone else who heavily relies on fuel?

While it’s great to increase the Regional Transport fund and build a fancy new light rail system for Aucklanders, there’s been minimal chat about the knock-on effect this will have on the price of produce, goods, and general living expenses as the overall price of transport jumps.

I’m not David Bennett’s fanboy, nor am I part of some wanky youth wing of a political party; I’m just yet to be convinced that this is the best use of public money.

Feel free to persuade me otherwise, or just simply send through a strongly worded email proclaiming how wrong my opinions are. Have at it, editor@nexusmag. co.nz. Otherwise, check out page six to satiate your need for tax-related news.

– Lyam 1

Inter-Faculty Sport: Ultimate Frisbee

The first Inter-Faculty Sports challenge for 2018 is happening this Wednesday 11 April on the fields. There will be heaps of free prizes up for grabs just for showing up, as well as a free BBQ lunch for those who participate. Sign up at your faculty reception, or check out the Sport – University of Waikato Facebook page to register for your faculty.

Freaky Friday on Wharf Street

Tauranga students, bring your classmates, friends and family down to Wharf St on Friday 13 April for the first ever Freaky Friday event. Enjoy live music and special offers from various Wharf St eateries. Wharf St will be closed off just for the night so you can chill, dance, eat, and relax from 6 pm onwards.

Wanted: Graduation volunteers

Keen to get a behind-the-scenes look into Graduation? We’re looking for students to volunteer as student marshals and ushers at the Marae and Claudelands Graduation ceremonies this month.

If you’re interested in volunteering, visit https://goo.gl/5aYqv8.

Save a life in between classes

The NZ Blood Service will be on the Hamilton campus on Tuesday 10 April, and Tuesday 17 April in the UniRec gym from 10 am to 2.30 pm each day. Regular or first-time donors are encouraged to book a time on the NZ Blood website, making sure to select the University as the Mobile Blood Drive location. Make sure to bring ID with you and have something to eat first.

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KEEPS ON GIVING

THE GOVERNMENT THAT

LYAM BUCHANAN

The minimum wage increase by 75 cents on April 1st, rising to $16.50 from 15.75 per hour. The move to raise the minimum wage was an integral part of the Labour Government’s 100-day plan. It is also the first step towards their long-term target of $20 by 2021.

This increase is expected to affect approximately 164,000 workers nationwide; however, analysis from the Ministry of Business Innovation & Employment (MBIE) shows this might not be entirely positive.

Their model is predicting not only a negative impact on job growth, but the potential for 3000 jobs to now be at risk in the low-income sector.

Workplace Relations Minister Iain Lees-Galloway believes the 164,000 workers and their families will greatly benefit from this wage increase.

“The rise in the minimum wage is estimated to inject $129 million into the economy through the wages of low income workers, circulating back into the economy because people on lower incomes are more likely to spend their wages on essential items like doctor’s visits, keeping on top of bills, buying more healthy food - things that far too many Kiwis struggle to afford.”

We had a chat with Labour MP Jamie Strange, to see if he believes this increase was beneficial. “yes, definitely,” he responded emphatically.

“Research has shown that if you increase the minimum wage, then the majority of that money goes straight back into the economy. People would either eat a little bit better, spend more on clothes, or spend

more on activities. They’ll spend more on practical things whether it’s for their family or for themselves.

Whereas on the opposite end of the scale, when the National Government got elected in 2008, one of the first things they did was give tax cuts to those on the top end. They said the money would trickle down into the economy, but the reality is, it doesn’t trickle down.

Those people at the top will either buy another house, or they’ll go on an overseas holiday and spend their money elsewhere.”

However, Act Party Leader David Seymour, isn’t quite as convinced. Stating in a Newshub article on April 2nd,“In a classic example of good intentions and poor results, some of New Zealand’s most vulnerable workers will be stripped of an opportunity to gain valuable skills and work experience,” shows he’s more aligned with the MBIE; placing his concern alongside the potential risk now set on 3000 jobs nationwide.

Today’s Ease of Student Life From the start of 2018, both Student Allowance payments and Student Loan Living Costs increased by $50, along with Fees Free First Year. Taking the maximum Student Allowance for most students from $177.03 to $227.03 each week, the maximum amount of Living Costs able to be borrowed rising from $178.81 to $228.81.

These increases may not have caused the student lifestyle to become boujee, but they have definitely made a positive impact on the financial stability of students in general.

While the National Party believe this increase is simply ‘easy money for the unemployed’, President of the New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA) Jonathan Gee, claims that “students will still be up to $100 worse off than beneficiaries with respect to accommodation support.”

“This does not mean that students will have more disposable income. The $50 increase means that students will have a bit more left for food after paying their rent.”

Waikato Students’ Union President Candra Pullon said “This boost is going to make a difference in student’s lives, and that is fantastic, but it isn’t a magic wand.”

“Our (largely mature) students can’t get an allowance to study postgrad beyond honours, and we have a generation of students who may never own their own home, so we need to look seriously at rental warrants of fitness. We still have more work to do.

“Things like the raising of accommodation supplements, student allowance and fees free are all good things, but we need to remind any government that it is only part of the solution and there is still more to do be done.”

Vox Pops While it’s fine to let politicians decide our fate, we thought it would be beneficial to talk to a few students to see how they feel about these changes.

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At the start of the month, the minimum wage increased by 75c to reach a total of $16.50 per hour. Does this increase impact you? Do you believe this is a positive or negative change?

2. Experts have expressed concern that this might cause business owners to initially fire employees, hire fewer workers, and raise the price of their products. Is this something you believe the government should’ve taken into more consideration? Or is this just scaremongering?

3. This year, we’ve had both an increase in minimum wage, as well as an increase in student loan living costs and student allowance. Has this impacted you? Have these increases made it easier and more feasible for you to be a student?

4. What else could the Government do to make being a student easier?

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Lochlan, 18, CUP (BMS)

It doesn’t really impact me, but I do believe it is a positive change. People need to pay bills; people need to buy food etc. Business owners will always whinge about increasing wages, but I believe that if they can’t pay it, they shouldn’t be in business.

It’s just scaremongering. Obviously, the Government would’ve considered it, and there have been heaps of debate surrounding this so it wouldn’t have been taken lightly.

It’s definitely made it a lot easier, especially having first-year fees free.

I feel that the University does a lot independently that the Government could do for them, for example, it’d be great to subsidise the Student Healthcare Service further.

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Callum, 17, CUP, (BSocSc)

It does affect me, I think it’s really helpful for students as you generally start on minimum wage. It’ll definitely help with living costs for those working and studying.

The government have definitely considered this enough. The National side have realised businesses won’t want to pay as it means they’ll have less for themselves, though Labour believes this change will make living easier for students as they make up a vast portion of those on minimum wage.

It’s definitely made it easier to be a student; it makes everything easier. Being on the CUP course with first-year fees free means I won’t have to pay the $5000 required, and it generally makes my whole degree a lot more feasible.

Introducing dental into the uni services, along with making existing services slightly cheaper, would be great.

Renee, 20, BMS

It doesn’t affect me personally, but I believe it will have a positive impact as it allows young people within those entry-level jobs to be more financially stable.

I don’t know, I guess it will really help our economy with prices, but I don’t think it should be much of an increase. I understand why companies do have to put up their prices to support peoples wages, but I think it’s good for the economy because more people will get more money, so they’re gonna spend more.

Yeah definitely, I know it will help a lot of people, especially in Auckland and Wellington, whereas Hamilton is not so bad for rent, but it still relieves so much pressure for people, especially those working extra hours just to pay rent.

I reckon making services like the gym free, and having more areas on campus like Level Zero and the Library would be really helpful as well.

Libby, 21, MAppPsy

It doesn’t affect me anymore, but it would if I was actually working in a cafe which I could quite easily be doing. For the regular student yeah I think it’s really important, 100 percent.

I think they’ve already taken it into consideration, I think that some businesses will struggle, but others will just take it in their stride and just deal with it.

Yes, 100 percent, it’s so good. Not gonna lie, I love the extra money.

I feel that there’s definitely something to be done around student allowance.

Some people can’t get it because their parents’ earnings but some of those students don’t actually get any financial help from their parents even if they earn a decent amount. Maybe having a lower amount of allowance that students can get even if their parents do earn more, maybe there needs to be a bit more thought put into the process.

Deepfakes LYAM BUCHANAN From celebrity pornography to problematic politicians; a new face-swapping technology is rippling through digital media, fueling the plague of fake news.

A “Deepfake” is an unrealistic, fake video made using artificial intelligence software. This is carried out using Deep Learning, a network of interconnected nodes which autonomously run computations on input data, allowing users to essentially ‘train’ algorithms to produce a convincing combination between an original video and the newly introduced data.

Utilising Google image searches, stock images, and Youtube videos, this AI software can effortlessly manipulate videos. Common examples range from Gal Gadot featuring in porn, to influential public figures ruining their pristine reputation.

Digital experts have expressed concern over the difficulty it takes to distinguish real videos from fake, along with the rate at which this technology is growing and the increase in demand.

The New York Times recently referred to Deepfakes as “one of the newest forms of digital media manipulation” and “one of the most obviously mischief-prone”, continuing to mention the technology’s potential to “smear politicians, create counterfeit revenge porn or frame people for crimes”.

Researcher Aviv Ovadya has even gone as far to predict that “such technology could be used to manipulate diplomacy, and even goad countries into making decisions based on fake information”.

U.S. Senator Mark Warner recently stating “this ultimately begs the question — how do you maintain trust in a digital-based economy when you may not be able to believe your own eyes anymore?”

We spoke to Tom White, an advocate for the disclosure of media altered with AI or similar techniques, and Senior Lecturer of Media Design at Victoria University of Wellington. Tom has created multiple tools for manipulating media such as Toposketch, a sketch based interface for generating animations, and also believes one of his students in 2016 may have created the first ever ‘deepfake’ video (to his knowledge).

“Deepfakes introduce two types of threats: the most immediate is the danger that someone will use the technology to spread specific false information.

However, perhaps more damaging over time is the threat caused by the general erosion of credibility of recorded media in general - which can be equally used to claim real events never happened, for example: in the US Trump has begun claiming that the Access Hollywood tape is a fake,” says Tom. “It is difficult to know what media being consumed online is real, so it useful to be suspicious and to encourage others to be as well. Since in many contexts (like research) there is no rationale to hide the fact that the media is fake, I have proposed (and use) a ‘FakeMark’ indicator be added to signal that the media has been altered.”

“It is becoming increasingly easy for the average person do add DeepFake face swapping to videos. In fact, the technology has not changed much in the past year, but this has become an issue in recent months because the tools to make these types of videos have made the techniques more accessible.

For now, the image quality on the videos is still relatively low - there are not yet any HD DeepFake videos being created.”

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Rising Fuels The Government’s proposal to increase fuel levies has been regarded as a “dumb idea” by The New Zealand Taxpayers’ Union. This proposal is breaking Jacinda Ardern’s promise of ‘no new taxes’, along with widening the Regional Transport Fund to include cycleways and trams.

Taxpayers’ Union Executive Director Jordan Williams, says “fuel tax is particularly harmful because of its regressive nature – the people it hurts most are poorer families living in fringe suburbs. This will ultimately mean less food on the table.”

We had a chat with National MP, and avid road enthusiast, David Bennett to see what he believes the effect of this will be nationwide, and more specifically within the Waikato region. “It will especially impact those with lower incomes, as they have to pay the tax but don’t have the income to match it.”

“Basically we’re thinking it will be around 9-10c per litre increase, though there’s also the potential for a regional fuel tax on top of that, which could be another 9-10 cents. This meaning it could be an increase of up to 20c per litre, which would be quite substantial every time you fill up your car.”

“The tax is basically going to be spent on Auckland’s rail project; it’s also going to mean the end of the extension of the Waikato Expressway. There will 8

be no objective in the Waikato, apart from a small amount going to subsidise the Auckland-HamiltonTauranga rail. However, that’s a very small subsidy of about $10 million at maximum, whereas we’ve just lost a $400-500 million extension to the Waikato Expressway from Cambridge to Piarere.”

“So technically the region is going to be paying higher petrol costs for Auckland to pay for their infrastructure up there.”

“It will also affect the price of produce and other things because it’s all those costs and living expenses that go up. Every time you do something like this It makes it more difficult for trucks (etc.) that have to transport goods and services.”

Minister for Women and Associate Minister of Transport Julie Anne Genter said in debate in Parliament on April 4,“let’s talk about those road user charge and fuel tax increases—because do you know how much they’re going to cost? Less than one cup a coffee a week for the average household—even in Auckland—after three years. I think that’s a great deal: to finally have a 21st century transport system that gives real choices to people; safe walking and cycling to school for our kids, which is good for their health and good for traffic; real public transport and rapid transit options between our towns and cities.”

OUSA Spent $250 on a Portrait of Sexy Garfield JOEL MCMANUS – CRITIC MAGAZINE “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?”

– Jesus $250 of student money was spent by OUSA [Otago University Students’ Association], last year on a 103cm x 78cm, framed portrait of the cartoon cat Garfield wearing pink lingerie, stockings and high heels.

The artwork, ‘Lasagnerie’ by student Emily Davidson, featured as a pull-out poster in Critic [student magazine of Otago University Students’ Association] issue 11 2017, and was entered in the OUSA Student Art Exhibition.

2017 OUSA President Hugh Baird bought the artwork at the exhibition on behalf of OUSA for $250, and had it installed right in the OUSA secretary’s office, directly in front of her desk, as a practical joke.

The painting has since been moved and now hangs inside the doorway of the OUSA Executive office bullpen—because no other OUSA department wanted it. It has been hung portrait, despite being in a landscape frame.

Current OUSA President Caitlin Barlow-Groome called it “a fucking waste of money”.

Welfare Officer Abigail Clarke said it was “beautiful”, but she was “lucky, because my desk faces away from it… but any student that comes up here has to look at the cat porn on our wall”.

When asked if the artwork haunted him while he tried to work, Campaigns Officer Roger Yan admitted “It definitely gets me sometimes.”

It is traditional for OUSA to purchase one piece of artwork from the Student Art Exhibition, normally chosen by the President, as a show of support for promising young artists.

OUSA CEO Debbie Downs said that ‘Lasagnerie’ “wasn’t one of the most expensive paintings available at the Art display”.

Several of the pieces bought in past years have appreciated in value considerably as the student artists have gone on to become more prominent. It is unclear yet how much appreciation value ‘Lasagnerie’ will have.

Critic likes to believe sexy Garfield will usher in a new renaissance of post-modern, post-ironic drawings of sexualised cartoon animals, which will be remembered as western society’s defining cultural output.

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(News in Numbers)

• 74,000 – How many dollars you could save if you gave up your morning coffee, apparently.

• 40 – The number of seagulls that trashed a Canadian hotel room in 2001 with a ‘tornado of poo and feathers’. Nick Burchill, who was staying in the room, and whose pepperoni had attracted the seagulls, recently had his ban lifted and is welcome back to the Fairmont Empress Hotel.

• 70 – The number of kilometres an hour the speed limit on New Zealand roads should be, according to the International Transport Forum.

• 50,000 – The number of vehicles required by the Government to be recalled on account of faulty airbags.

HUAWEI P20 Pro RRP $1150

Continuing to assert their dominance in the smartphone market, Huawei have recently announced their new flagship, the P20 Pro. They’re leading the way with a revolutionary Leica Triple Camera, following the edge to edge screen trend with an all new HUAWEI FullView 6.1 inch OLED display, and as always they’re packing some hearty components inside to please the spec geeks.

Why should you buy this?

• It’s the latest and greatest for lovers of Android.

• It comes in a fancy new gradient colour finish.

Why shouldn’t you buy this?

• Are you really going to use all its features?

• It’s fairly pricey.

• Lieutenant General Tim Keating, Chief of the New Zealand Defence Force stepped down last week. Lieutenant General Keating made it clear that his leaving the position is not in any way connected to allegations regarding SAS misconduct in Afghanistan made in the 2010 book Hit & Run: “One thing I wish to place on record is that my departure had nothing to do with the recent spurious publicity about Operation Burnham – a 2010 NZSAS operation in Afghanistan.”

• Marcos Rodríguez Pantoja, a Spanish man who claims to have been raised by wolves for 12 years from the age of seven starting in 1953 is reportedly unimpressed by life in the human world. Now 72 years of age, Pantoja has not enjoyed his time working in hospitality and construction. Sadly, he cannot return – for the wolves no longer recognise him as one of their own after so many years apart.

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Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19) Your insatiable thirst for validation leaves you in a perpetual state of loneliness. Fear not, simply start a fresh private Instagram account to satisfy your cravings for attention.

Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22) Mortality is the curse of the mediocre and the substandard. Live life like you’re immortal and you will be rewarded. Take risks that others never would, except if they involve eating from the Momento cabinet.

Taurus (Apr 20-May 20) A seemingly harmless hobby begins to take a dark turn, as the passing reflection of Mars shines truthful light. That wasn’t gear you racked up over the weekend, you’ve just been smashing back possum poison.

Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21) He’s a fuckin’ bastard, don’t worry hun. We know. The final evening of the fourth month will see celestial justice brought down upon those who’ve done you wrong. Patience is key.

Gemini (May 21-June 20) As the fogs of June grow closer, one must learn to stand up for oneself. In order to survive the grueling winters of Hillcrest, it’s integral to not only take offence to as much as possible but to justify your opinions even though you’re blatantly wrong.

Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21) With Jupiter in orbit, comes the realisation that in every action there is a clear and attributable fault. In other words, take the dishes out of your room it’s been two weeks, and your flatmates are ready to kill you.

Cancer (June 21-July 22) The search for true love is long and arduous. Shakespeare said “love is not love which alters when it alteration finds”. Of course if you are reading Nexus, you probably aren’t looking for true love so just go on Tinder and get a meaningless sex life the rest of us.

Leo (July 23-Aug 22) In order to truly be respected by your peers, it’s important to honor your word.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve just been in a serious car crash, if you’ve committed to going out, there’s no excuse valid enough to excuse your absence.

Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22) Your constant need for approval is tiring to those around you.

Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19) The Goddess of Saturn is telling you to sort your fucking life out. You can’t sit on the couch all your life watching Netflix and smoking a bong. Of course, the Goddess of Saturn isn’t a real thing. You really need to get off the bong Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) You’ve always wanted to be “that guy” but as you move through your University career, you are slowly learning that “that guy” is usually some management dude bro and is a skeevy douchebag who shouldn’t be left alone with your sister.

Do better by being better.

Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) The accident was three years ago. So the fact that you still think these horoscopes are real is really disconcerting. Maybe it’s time to consult with a neurologist.

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Crush of the Week: Alison Mau and #MeToo

What’s Hot:

You’ve no doubt seen the #MeToo hashtag littered over social media, proliferated by celebrities to urge transparency on sexual harassment (but also probably for good PR). Alison is the superstar whose organising the movement in New Zealand. Sick of waiting for something substantial to be done, she’s offering her own details as a contact point for anyone who has stories to share, with the aim of expanding this thing beyond a hashtag and actually legit getting help and legal advice for people who have been harassed. Heart react x1000.

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David Seymour in Dancing with the Stars

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Coleslaw

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Reduced prices on Easter chocolate

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A man who respects his mumma, works hard and treats you right

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Addressing your group work members as “Squad”

Clickbait Moodboard: Theme: It’s not a phase, mom!

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What’s Not: •

Elton Johns retirement??? Um goodbye, Sir???

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The offcuts of cabbage, not worthy of going in a regular salad

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Standing on your sunglasses

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Your drunk friend telling your lecturer about your sex life

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Coming back after Easter and finding the dishes still not done

TOP 10: Emojis of April

Hazardous Sheets Enter Fourth Month of Continuous Use

“I’ll just buy some new ones next semester, they’re still all good.” May St local cultivates rare fungal colony after disregarding basic hygiene. “None of my slays have complained so it must be sweet.”

Lecturer Suffers Minor Stroke After Being Asked Relevant, Insightful Question

“I thought this day would never come.” Humble professor struggles to come to terms with the concept that someone might genuinely care for what they’ve devoted their life to study.

Direct Correlation Found Between a Lack of Personality and the Amount of Netflix Consumed

Studies have found being a “boring cunt”, has a direct impact on the amount of Netflix binged by an individual. This trait is closely related to being devoid of personality, and being generally painful to interact with.

As connoisseurs of the digital world, it’s upon us to enlighten the masses. Here’s the official Top Ten emojis deemed acceptable for excessive use this month: We truly gettin’ GOOFY out here! This is an emoji destined to express all those crazy student antics you get up to ROFL! Best used: While drinking on a Tuesday! OMFG HAHA don’t you just love wine?!

Uuuuuh… hol’ up..

Neat! Isn’t this just a truly universal tool of expressing genuine pleasure. Best used: When something is just really neat!

Hiss… Slam this in the group chat as a reminder for your fam to never ‘dog the boys’. Best used: To totally roast your buds haha!

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Blessing us here is the holiest of emojis. Best used: To bless your companions with the power of the Lord.

Did you just serve some much needed truth?

This young lady spilling the tea is the digital embodiment of passive aggression. Best used: When showing your besties how you just put ‘some bitch’ in her place.

Hahahaha wowee that sure was a funny meme! Make sure to absolutely slam this emoji when your pals get you good with a Facebook tag haha! Best used: During a moment of “OMG this is definitely me hahaha!” ”Oh yap queen that’s that good gooood”. Let the world know you just reached digital climax by slipping a cheeky one of these in. Best used: When someone just absolutely glowed tf up!

Sometimes, you need to let your soft side show. This romantic gesture is the modern day equivalent of buying bae a bouquet. Best used: To show your little sugarplum just how much they mean to you xx A N G E R Y. Flaunt your rage with this ontrend display of social media dominance.

Being supportive is definitely not the flavour of 2018. Best used: To show the full extent of how ironic you are online.

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Single

Album

‘WINGS’ – JAMIE ISAAC REVIEW: ARCHIE PORTER

‘FIVE FIVE’ – POUYA REVIEW: CJ LEE

Jamie Isaac has dropped his new track ‘Wings’, the follow up to his excellent previously released single, ‘Doing Better’. These two songs form the opening to his upcoming album, (4:30) Idler, set to release on June 1st – going by the quality of these first couple of singles, the record can’t come soon enough. ‘Wings’ demonstrates a shift in tone from his debut album (the vastly underappreciated Couch Baby), moving away from the gloomy, minimalist, South London-tinged hiphop beats and into experimental jazz, bossa nova, and ‘70s analog synths.

In favour of digital drum loops, Isaac utilizes live percussion to create a newfound energy dissimilar to his usual production choices. Although this is a new direction, the track still feels entirely authentic and fits perfectly into his discography; not so much a jarring musical shift, but rather a natural progression from his previous work. Saxophones oozing with reverb croon in the distance, with Jamie’s smooth vocals atop the dazzlingly dreamy instrumentation. Speaking of this new musical route, Isaac stated his main influence as the chance discovery of a Stan Getz and João Gilberto record, “I started listening to it and realized, this is what I want to make for the next record. I want to make pop, bossa nova, electronic music.”

Isaac’s classical and jazz influences affect his music in such a profound way that it is difficult to categorize it; it simply needs to be heard. Watch this space.

From the independent, 5’5” Florida rapper that has been making constant waves in the underground scene since 2011, comes another new album, FIVE FIVE, released March 5.

In Pouya’s previous works, there had always been features here and there with the likes of $uicideboy$, Fat Nick, and Ghostemane. On FIVE FIVE, there is only one feature - that being Night Lovell, on the song ‘Don’t Bang My Line’. Thus, the album was pretty much a statement to the fans that he could hold himself just fine without relying on features.

The weakest track on the album, ‘Void’, features a hook highly reminiscent of a Kendrick Lamar flow.

Besides that, the majority of tracks on FIVE FIVE are filled with cheesy but catchy lyrics, delivered with a squeaky clean flow over some banging 808-heavy trap beats. Some of my personal favourites include ‘Don’t Bang My Line’, ‘One Time’ and ‘Back Off Me’. The album also showcases Pouya’s ability to rap over instrumentals that are not of the trap format, especially on the track ‘Suicidal Thoughts in the Back of the Cadillac Pt. 2’.

All in all, FIVE FIVE is a solid solo project, it definitely shows hella potential.

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Hotel

Video Game

FOUR CANOES – OSMOTIC STUDIOS REVIEW: ONYX LILY

‘PIT PEOPLE’ – THE BEHEMOTH REVIEW: CONOR MAXWELL

Making a last-minute accommodation booking on booking.com is stressful; you’re scrolling through details while the site yells “three other people are looking at this deal! Only two rooms left at this price!”

But making an impulse reservation for a suspiciously low-priced room at the Four Canoes in Rotorua, was a decision I’d live to regret.

The only good thing about this hotel is that when the receptionist answers the phone, “Four Canoes!”, it sounds like he’s swearing in a bad Scottish accent (try it). The room pics were clearly taken with a very good Insta-filter, but the reality was disappointing.

The ceiling was low and had textured plaster swirls; a legacy of the ‘80s. Possibly asbestos. If I die, please feed my cat. The bathroom had years of embedded grime in the sink and shower, and there were numerous plaster-filled holes in the walls, remnants of the previous decade’s décor. The toilet was wedged in between the vanity and the shower, such that anyone with wider hips than Barbie could well get stuck, and the toilet roll holder was placed so far back that I felt like I was in a yoga torture chamber every time I reached for the roll.

The walls were thin, so I had the joy of listening to the neighbour snore all night, and the rooms were stuffy and un-air-conditioned.

My advice? Pay the extra $30 for the Copthorne, and always read the site reviews.

From the clever creators of Castle Crashers comes Pit People, another adventurous alliteration about hapless heroes on a quirky quest. In a world that has been thrown into disrepair by a giant space bear crashing into our beloved planet, players follow protagonist Horatio on his quest to find his kidnapped son. That’s all I’m going to say about the plot, because if you’ve played any of The Behemoth’s other games, the plot is not what you sign up for.

Like its predecessors, Pit People’s strongest assets are its cartoony art style, and more importantly, its comedy. In this action RPG, players have access to an almost infinite selection of party members, as almost any enemy you fight can be captured, tamed and sent to fight with you- like Pokemon, if the pokemon could speak full sentences. Amongst some of the iconic characters you may encounter and recruit are a cupcake called Gluten, a policeman called McCaffery who keeps telling you to update your virus protection software, and a gang of dudebro woodsmen called the Lumberjocks. While the sidequests and great characters make this game very entertaining, it is let down on some fronts by the slow pace of its turnbased combat. Movement is arduous, individual characters don’t deal too much damage, and moving all your units into position every turn can feel like a chore. Pit People is a great time if you have an hour or two to spare one evening, but play it in larger bursts and you’re likely to get a little sick of it.

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Country Twang JACQUI SWNEY Country music is probably one of the most divisive genres to throw on the aux. I’m American, and it took me 20 of my 22 years to open my heart up to the joys of a banjo-guitar collaboration. It’s not just the music that I love though, it’s the line dancing, pickup trucks, and beers that go with it, and just the all-around nationalism that country music fans tend to have. They love America.

Now, whether or not that’s a good thing is a whole other issue that belongs in the politics section, but there’s one thing that I believe most people can agree on. No matter what, when ole’ Darius Rucker plays through the aux, there won’t be a single person refusing to sing along to ‘Wagon Wheel’.

1. ‘I WANT CRAZY’ BY HUNTER HAYES: Hunter Hayes is the perfect artist for any entry-level country music listener. He’s the reason I converted and gave all other country music a chance. He’s your run of the mill, good looking country boy that Nicholas Sparks writes novels about, and if that’s not enough to draw you in, his music will be. His sound verges on pop, and he could possibly be the male version of 2006 Taylor Swift (the Taylor that we all loved).

And while his songs speak to every female in ways they fantasise about, he’s an insanely talented live guitarist. If you’re looking to dabble in the genre, Hunter is one of the stops you’ve gotta make.

2. ‘COUNTRY GIRLS (SHAKE IT FOR ME)’ BY LUKE

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Much like Hunter Hayes, Luke Bryan is the cliché beautiful, rugged country musician that girls flock to. However, on the southern scale, Luke Bryan rates higher than Hunter Hayes. His music seems more heavily influenced by rock and folk than pop.

His accent is thicker, and he tends to sing about more country topics: tractors, farms, corn, trucks, dancing with country girls. He’s a real country lad.

3. ‘BILLIE JEAN’ BY THE CIVIL WARS: Now, this song is on the more folk end of country music. The Civil Wars (while no longer together, bless their souls) have a very distinct sound. They make heavy use of the fiddle, violin, and piano. Their sound is more sensual and sultry. This song happens to be a cover of the king Michael Jackson. They completely make the song their own. The duo has a pair of powerful voices that work so well together to make a fantastic trademark sound.

If there’s one artist on this list that I’m the most passionate about on this playlist, it is The Civil Wars. It would serve you well to listen to ‘Barton Hollow’ and ‘Poison & Wine’ if you decide to peek into their short discography.

BRYAN:

Depression; a Malevolent Cycle TROY ANDERSON It’s really fucking dumb. Many of us have been there. Many more of us will be there again or for the first time or excluding all that via some miracle, be close to someone who is. When you’re in it, it’s so hard to see outside of yourself, and those on the outside can really struggle to see in. But not all hope is lost, even when you reckon it is, which no doubt, you will. Anyone can make it out, with the right help, tools, and routines.

People who develop or inherit depression are likely to have a hippocampus that is decreased in size. The hippocampus is responsible for emotion and memory, and it needs to be regularly stimulated and used in order to function properly. If depression isn’t dealt too, it only becomes worse as the hippocampus decays and stops functioning as well. This means all the time spent neglecting the issue, worsens it.

It is also possible that this can increase the risk of Alzheimer’s disease.

Here’s where shit gets tricky. Those with depression will find that they are fatigued and have no energy. Guess what—that fucking sucks, a lot.

Because how can you be expected to function properly and live a normal life when you feel that way? Simply put, you can’t. You don’t feel like doing anything, so you don’t, you feel hopeless, and you don’t feel like doing anything. You feel like a burden on others, so you don’t reach out to them, you feel hopeless, and you feel like a burden to others. These negative cycles spiral right into the depths of Hell. Breaking them is critical, so what can you do for you?

Right out the gate, get onto the antidepressants, straight away. No one will be able to help you if you’re dead, so that should be the first point of action.

Antidepressants are varied and don’t always work the same way for everyone. The idea is that the medication stimulates the serotonin neurotransmitters in the hope of restoring the balance you so desperately need, so find one that works for you.

Following this, take a look at your life. What have you been eating? Is it garbage? Don’t do that; balanced nutrition is so fucking good for ya. Get on the probiotics. Gut bacteria affect what foods we crave, our moods, and mental health a lot more than we give them credit for, so a balanced diet is essential.

Have you been exercising? Na? Get into it mate, go for a run, a bike ride, a walk, even ten minutes of semi-intense cardio per day will do you worlds of good. This is a great way to get a natural serotonin hit. The cavemen didn’t get depressed on account of they were too busy not getting killed by tigers and shit to neglect their health and fitness, we live in a world where we can, but it’s deadly.

So long story short, when you’re feeling like shit, you literally need to do the exact opposite of what you want to be doing. Just fucking sort it out aye, because left to its own devices, depression allows our most self-destructive behaviours to manifest and our minds to shrink and cave in on themselves. Stimulate and nurture your mind, because we all deserve to thrive in this world.

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WESMO WESMO (Waikato Engineering Students Motorsport Organisation) is the University of Waikato Formula SAE team. Our goal is to design and build a single-seat race car to be shipped to compete in the Australasian leg of the global Formula SAE competition in Melbourne.

Yes, we build a race car.

The project is primarily a 4th-year mechanical engineering design project. However, in the last few years, the team has been opened up to allow more disciplines as well as a broader range of year groups to join!

If the words ‘race car’ didn’t sell you, there are many other reasons you might want to get involved.

For one, the experience of designing and building a race car is a massive incentive for employment, and Formula SAE is world-renowned for creating some of the top engineers in the industry. Another benefit of being part of this club is our network of alumni members in industry, who can offer support or advice when you are transitioning into the workforce.

From electronic engineers to communications majors, we have them all now! The competition is structured to have a considerable emphasis on a plausible business model backing the design of your car—it doesn’t make sense to get engineers creating a business model.

If you are interested in getting involved in the coolest project on campus, head to facebook.com/ groups/wesmoprospective and request to join!

Also, hit us on social media at facebook.com/ wesmofsae and instagram.com/wesmo_fsae 18

CHEMY100 – Chemistry in Context As a second-year science student who has made a point of NOT taking chemistry (it’s terrible), I perhaps overestimated my ability when it came to this lecture. I thought it was going to be a breeze – it’s the basic paper, after all. Oh, how I was wrong. This was a lecture on acidbased chemistry, and first, the lecturer taught us how solubility increases with a increase in temperature and blah blah. Yup, cool, I could handle that.

He mentioned a drain cleaner experiment they did in the lab, using sodium hydroxide to break down organic matter, which I thought probably would’ve been very useful for me about two weeks ago during that midnight bathroom flood fiasco…not a good memory.

However, the spanner in the works came when they started having to figure out log equations, ‘pK’ values or some shit, and working out rainwater concentrations using the pH value? THIS, ladies and gentlemen, completely lost me. It felt like a chemistry-mathematical language was being spoken rather than English. Someone was literally wearing headphones with their music in, and I didn’t blame them.

It appears that University-wide, lecturers have really caught up with what the kids are into these days – he assured us there were many memes to soothe our woes over the acid/base confusion. All in all, this reminded me perfectly why I didn’t include chemistry in my science degree; because chemistry is shit.

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North and South Korea will meet April 27 in a historic summit, the first of its kind in over ten years. On the agenda, ideally, will be North Korea’s denuclearisation and advancement of relations between the Koreas. Since the Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, North and South Korea have experienced a significant thawing in their traditionally icy relationship.

But what if instead of everything going well with productive dialogue, things veered into a horrific nuclear firestorm? What might a fresh Korean War look like in 2018? How might such a war happen? How might we, safely nestled in the Mighty Waikato, abreast of the news by way of the internet, but far from the firing lines of the Korean Peninsula be affected?

The Korean War is, famously, still a thing. It was never resolved with an official peace deal. Though to be fair, such a tidbit of geopolitical trivia rests squarely in the realm of cocktail party talking points for the naive and broadly uninformed. More a ‘wow!

Did you know that the two Koreas are still at war?’ said somewhere between a salmon and cream cheese baguette slice and a comment about how crazy that VICE documentary where they sneak around North Korea is than an incisive commentary on the genuine nature of the Korean War and its lasting implications.

The Korean War was a peculiar beast. It existed in its own time; it was unique to the Cold War. It was the first major conflict since the Second World War less than a decade before, a significant conflict in the battle against communism, and it tested the newly established United Nations in the face of international aggression.

It was an invasion launched by the North, backed by the Soviet Union in an effort to conquer the South and reunify the nation that had been under occupation or divided since Japanese annexation in 1910. Ferocious fighting and naked acts of aggression brought a United Nations force, lead by the United States to the peninsula to protect the South.

But the tidbit is true. Though hostilities between the two sides ended in 1953, and an armistice was 23

signed, no official peace deal was ever concluded after over 1.8 million civilian deaths and over 2.8 million combat deaths. The armistice gave us the Koreas we know and love today, separated at the famous 38th Parallel.

Speaking to Dr Karen Buckley of the History Programme here at Waikato, it is made clear to me that for New Zealand, the Korean war was a boon for the economy, but otherwise forgotten.

‘The Korean War did lead to a boom in wool prices as the Americans stockpiled this product and the corresponding increase in export pounds was noted by those newspaper editors keen to support the National government’s economic strategy.’

We sold wool, and we hated communists. New Zealand sent a little 6000 military personnel, to serve in the war under British Commonwealth commanders.

We were a firmly democratic and capitalist during the Cold War, and we backed the US and UN intervention all the way. It is also evident that for us, like many nations involved, the Korean War is something of a forgotten war. Much like public discourse in the United States relegated US involvement in the Great War to a distant, half-acknowledged memory, the narratives in New Zealand at the time largely overshadowed our involvement on the Peninsula.

‘I think that for the ‘average’ Kiwi in 1950-53 (if such a thing exists), the residual fear of an invasion from Asia which was very real during the Second World War, coupled with a fairly fervent antiCommunist political and public attitude meant that NZ’s contribution to a stable United Nations-led world was important. In this context, NZ was doing its bit, and once there was the belief that the spread of communism was being stopped a fair way away in Korea, then this war lost its place in the public narratives to other more immediate and interesting news.’

Would we today, like our friends in Australia commit to supporting the US military deployment in the DMZ? In 2017, a handful of Australian Defence Force personnel took part in US/South Korean war games.

Would we, as in the past, back the United States out of our desire to benefit from a closer relationship? Or would we steer clear without a UN mandate?

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2018 has seen North Korea chill out a fair bitthey’ve been to the Winter Olympics, Kim Jong-Un went to China for a fun holiday, shit they even had a K-Pop concert attended by the Great Leader himself.

At the moment things look reasonably rosy, especially ahead of these April talks with South Korea and potential US talks in May. Nuclear weapons testing is a target both the United States and South Korea will want to pursue.

Nobody but North Korea really wants a North Korea with nuclear weapons, but at the same time, the regime feels it needs those weapons to deter American military action against it-- especially given the yearly Foal Eagle war games carried out by American and South Korean forces right on North Korea’s doorstep.

So let’s say shit goes really, really wrong. 2017 saw a lot of war-mongering and nuclear weapons testing. A whole lot of tweeting too, which is slightly less frightening and dangerous than an actual missile test, but still. It counts as war-mongering.

‘11 days’ says Professor Al Gillespie, ‘Is how long it would take for the radiation to get down here.’ Dr Gillespie is an expert in international laws of war and is well set to fill me in on how hellish and unforgiving a war on the Korean Peninsula might be. The first thing to be aware of is that a nuclear war isn’t the most likely outcome by a long shot. ‘I think it’s a 1% chance.

It’s not even close to likely. I think it’s a very remote chance. But you have to take that 1% chance when you’re talking about the extinction of the species you have to take that very seriously.’

Hang on a minute—that’s some pretty heavy shit. But the thing with North Korea, says Dr Gillespie, is that it’s so close to those nations it might embroil in war that in all likelihood, war won’t come from a declaration, but from an accident.

‘The amount of time you’ve got for a weapon going from North Korea to LA you’re looking at 40 minutes, if you’re looking at Hawaii then maybe 30 minutes, if you’re looking at Japan maybe 5 minutes. If you’re looking at Seoul, there’s no warning. You don’t get a text from the government saying ‘run to the basement’; you’re lucky to get 30 seconds. So in that timeframe, they have to work out that what is coming across is not the ‘big bang’, and whether he would send over a nuke? No-one knows.’

North Korea only has to hit one of those targets, and millions of people would die, the entire cities being more or less levelled. It’s that lack of warning time that puts military forces on edge-- because they only have one chance to get it right, you can’t return fire when you’ve been utterly vapourised.

‘You can’t tell what is coming over the border until it has come over the border, so they only have to make a mistake once, and then once one chemical weapon, bioweapon, or nuclear weapon comes over it’s all on.’

And it’s not just a local war, held snugly between the US and South Korea on one side, and North Korea on the other. There’s a likelihood of China getting involved should North Korea be attacked first, and given their proximity to the proposed theatre of war, Japan is also very likely to find itself dragged in on the US/South Korea side of the equation. With all these powers, nuclear weapons and all involved in a war that could very well see those weapons used, and with Dr Gillespie’s assertion that 50 nuclear weapons could cause a nuclear winter, it seems that here in the sleepy Waikato we would not be safe from the end of the world. There would be no opportunity for us to ignore the war. And were we to send soldiers as part of some sort of United Nations task force, there would be no way local events could overshadow the rampant and wanton destruction like they had in the early 1950s.

The potential for a nuclear holocaust in Korea isn’t anyone’s favourite suggestion, but it’s important to note that the nuclear option isn’t the only option. There are plenty of terrific conventional arms capable of tearing rip, shit, or bust up and down the Korean Peninsula until the whole bloody thing sinks into the ocean.

Dr Colm McKeogh of Waikato’s Political Science Department has some staggering figures on the conventional arms angle of a Korean War. ‘The proximity of Seoul to the border and the amount of North Korean artillery that can shell Seoulthat is unstoppable. Tens of thousands of people could die in the first few hours of an artillery barrage—60,000 people could die within the first three hours, 10,000 of which would be US service personnel.’

That’s not exactly nuclear destruction levels of death, but 60,000 is a massive number of wasted lives.

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It’s certainly arguable; I might go so far as to say indisputable, that the North Korean regime is the worst regime in current existence regarding human rights violations and the general care it provides to its citizens. The amount of suffering and atrocity is unparalleled in the modern world, and that’s what makes for an argument that perhaps a world without a North Korean dictatorship would be a better world.

It certainly seems that way from where I stand, looking in at famines, abuse, tyranny, and gulags.

The moral case for war, leaving aside the threat of nuclear annihilation for a moment, seems to be at least somewhat reasonable. How many people do we stand by and watch suffer, over how many years do we allow families to be destroyed before we decide to topple the regime?

Well, see, the problem is, according to Dr McKeogh, that the moral argument is weakened by the fact that the regime cannot, and will not last. Like a gambler, the North Koreans have gotten lucky twice in the past with the transfer of power ‘The argument against war is that this regime will collapse of its own accord. They rolled the dice in 1994, and it came up with a 6. They rolled it again in 2011 and got another one. This cannot continue. It is reasonable to assume that this regime will crumble. That weakens the moral case for war.’

And I tend to agree; it is reasonable given the weight of historical evidence that absolute dictatorships tend to implode, and that communist systems tend to fail miserably. Those are more or less historical rules. Though it certainly hard to see it happening any time soon. Though Kim Jong-Un could die tomorrow of some secret disease, untreatable in North Korea and hidden from the outside world by the regime, it seems difficult to bank on the regime itself collapsing even if we know it must happen- it seems to monolithic, too aggressive, too solid. But the question of how long to wait could quite effectively be met with another question: ‘The war would bring sooner something that will happen. So how many people can you take the rest of their lives from to compress the time, give a few better years to the rest?’

‘We will see what happens!’ tweeted President of the United States Donald Trump.

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Tug Me Harder CAMERON MCROBIE A “tug of war” was originally defined as “the decisive contest; the real struggle or tussle; a severe contest for supremacy”. This was only applicable pre-19th century before some schmuck took the phrase quite literally—clearly, they didn’t pay attention to the Oxford Dictionary’s use of analogy. Thus, the tug of war was born—giving corporate team building sessions everywhere another hurried excuse of a sport to include on the day’s schedule of events.

Though I’m sure the sport has a very self-explanatory name, here are some basic rules for anyone who had a mediocre 7th birthday party—playing only that fucked up game where you dress up and eat chocolate with a knife and fork. You know the one. Actually, when it comes to choc, go hard or go home—Willy Wonka didn’t have time for that cutlery cucking. Diabetes is a frame of mind.

INTERNATIONAL COMP RULES:

•

•

• •

Teams of eight, reasonably hefty (or nuggety) lads and ladies – depending on the weight category.

Teams begin at either end of a long rope, marked with a centre line and two markings four metres to either side. Rope, in its purest form, is thicc.

Centre line begins directly above a line marked on the ground.

Once the “pull” has commenced, each team attempts to pull the

• • •

•

other such that the four metre marking closest to their opponent crosses the centre line.

Locking ya elbow beneath ya knee is a foul.

So is touching the ground for extended periods.

Pulling the rope over the shoulders is also a foul; the rope must be held below the shoulders.

A fun little extra is a neutral zone moat, usually of mud or softened ground or croc-infested cesspits, which eliminates players.

INFORMAL RULES:

•

Fuck teams of eight, have as many as you have friends.

• Yank the cunts arms off. Don’t let Jim from accounts take home the corporate cup.

• Break all the aforementioned rules, win at all costs.

Tug of war exists in nearly every country in the world. The International governing body is known as The Tug of War International Federation, or TWIF. TWIF holds a T.O.W World Championships biannually for the 53 countries that actually take it seriously.

There’s not much more to say about tug of war; it’s a simple sport for simple people. Like powerlifters.

Nevertheless—for all of you about to graduate and gain employment under an unimaginative boss, enjoy your future team-building sessions.

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THE PRIDE OF YOUR FACULTY IS AT STAKE IN THE FIRST 2018 INTER-FACULTY CHALLENGE • A free BBQ • Spot prizes • The chance to make fun of other faculties’ limited frisbee powers Inter-Faculty Sport #1: Ultimate Frisbee Wednesday 11 April,10am - 2pm, University of Waikato fields Contact your Faculty Sport ambassador or your admin staff

In between sets at SXSW, we managed to get ahold of Australia’s very own beacon of musical youth. Brisbane local, Mallrat, first made her mark on the scene at 16 years old with her single ‘Suicide Blonde’. Since then, she’s finished school, locked in a range of international shows, and cracked a whole lot of exposure with recent tracks such as ‘Better’.

NEXUS: If you could claim the music of any great artist, who would it be?

MR: I really wish I wrote ‘Fast Car’ by Tracy Chapman.

NEXUS: There are so many young, aspiring musicians who never get their big break. What do you think set you apart?

MR: I’m not sure! I think my songs are pop-leaning and I have a good understanding of social media so that probably helps.

NEXUS: How do you think becoming an artist has impacted your teenage experience compared to your peers?

MR: I am very lucky to be able to do what I love every day! And I am probably more independent than most people my age.

NEXUS: What’s been your most memorable performance so far?

MR: Splendour in the Grass last year was incredible; I had to try so hard not to cry on stage.

NEXUS: Obviously you’ve reached some pretty impressive milestones already. What are your next goals?

MR: Thank you! I want to be a better producer, and I want to write and produce for other artists.

NEXUS: If you weren’t a musician, what would you be doing?

MR: I think I would probably be a stylist or a youth worker or a journalist? I’m not too sure, but I’m so happy that I’m a musician.

NEXUS: In the past, you’ve said you’d like to be involved with fashion alongside your music. How would you describe your style?

MR: I am really obsessed with vintage, and I love to style pieces that aren’t meant to go together. E.g. a giant hoodie and cowgirl boots, ‘60s mini dresses with big oversized ‘90s jackets. I like playing dress ups :) NEXUS: As you come to the end of your teenage years, does the thought of growing up make you uneasy?

MR: I think growing up has more to do with life experiences than just time passing. There’s not much I can do about it but every day brings something new to learn, so I like to think about it like that!

NEXUS: What tracks have you been listening to on the daily?

MR: ‘Never Fall In Love’ by Jack Antonoff and Mø, ‘Blue Angel’ by Danny L Harle and Clairo, ‘Hostage’ by Billie Eilish.

NEXUS: Can you give us a quick rundown of your favourite summer?

MR: The summer after graduating high school was magic! I spent it in Melbourne making music and then drinking smoothies with my best friends at the beach.

NEXUS: To finish off, can you hit us with a haiku?

MR: You’re starved for something Cold, left over - I can share.

Vegan Lasagne

Being Boring-yet-Responsible As a fourth-year, I’m essentially a mature student. So old that I don’t get asked for ID at House anymore. I’m almost too crusty to get past the bouncers at Bar101 - left to fend for myself somewhere they only pay live music. That is, of course, if I even wanted to go to town anyway.

Town is shit. It’s a sticky cesspool filled with drunk girls being obnoxious and too many lads for my liking. Instead, I gleefully spend my nights alone, sober and binge-watching Netflix. Yes, I’m a bit of a loser, but at least Tinder always has my back. The incessant bass music and sloppy patrons are always the same. You could go to The Bank any weekend and hear the same twenty song setlist from the band playing live music. Really—you could go into any fine Lawrenson establishment and talk to the same kinds of people, eat the same food, and see ol’ mate John in a hi-vis polo. They’re virtually interchangeable.

It’s also sad as shit seeing people older than me trying to hit on those with freshly minted IDs and push-up bras more supportive than StudyLink.

Plus, there’s one essential element missing from Hamilton’s nightclubbing scene; a gay club. There used to be a club, Bralais, but that didn’t last. Gay clubs are super necessary; they provide a social 30

scene for queer folk and their allies, raise awareness, and allow queer folk to interact and exercise their (perhaps burgeoning) sexuality. With rumours that The Hood is shutting down, the variety and inclusivity in town is slowly narrowing. Everyone has a bar they feel most comfortable in, even the most town-phobic, and if your inner H-Town sanctum shuts down, then you would feel thoroughly displaced. Perhaps, that’s why I don’t care for town—I haven’t found my “place” in town yet.

In general, I shouldn’t have to spout off reasons why drinking is dangerous for you or why you shouldn’t partake. But you’re at university... kill the brain cells you scrap together to get through early morning lectures.

Getting Constantly Smashed This one’s a no-brainer (literally); what would the university experience be without crazy drunken tales to regale for the rest of our fleeting existence?

Life’s short so fuck it, let’s live. There are numerous sociological benefits I could reel off: 1.

Getting drunk = making, and bonding with mates. Drinking unites us in a way that mineral water could never do.

2. Memories from drinking are usually the most hilarious and crazy experiences of your life. No one can make a crowd lose their shit laughing by talking about that time you stayed in, studied, and went to bed on time. Do you want some “back in the day” stories to tell or what?

3. From what we hear, your grades at university don’t matter anyway, so what’s the point in being a Nigel no mates/goody two shoes when all that stress and energy is just wasted anyway?

Employers want someone who will be crack up around the office and bring life to the Christmas drinks, hun x Nothing terrifies me more than the thought of having a forty year old mid-life crisis as I look back on my past and think “man, I could’ve had a way more fun if I’d sank piss and been a free spirit in my youth,”

whilst getting burnt out by twenty years of non-stop stress, carrying sub-conscious regret which eventually manifests as marital issues and getting cancer anyfuckin’-way while the most alcohol-and-drug-addled dickheads are still spritely and happy. In short, life would be boring.

Who doesn’t want to embarrass their kids one day by talking about vomiting in other peoples’ tents at festival benders, drinking their weight in beer around Europe, and being able to have wines with the girls/beers with the lads for years to come and laugh about the days we’d drink all night and go to work hungover the next day – basically, for the rest of forever, who wouldn’t want to still feel that sense of goddamn contented giddiness and freedom that comes with God’s gift to mankind; alcohol.

Stop worrying so much you guys, one day we’ll be old and weighed down with responsibility, bills, and asshole kids. For now, let’s the make the bloody most of our youth, because you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did do. Live life to the fullest, be as wild and adventurous as if you had a week left to live, and all those other inspirational quotes you get off Pinterest that clearly show the secret to a good life is one that includes loads of piss-ups.

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THE LODGE As a bustling residence of outstanding individuals, this household is home to the best Waikato has to offer; the leaders of tomorrow. These avid enthusiasts of the sesh have mastered the balance between achieving their academic aspirations, and getting the most out of their tertiary journey.

Rongomatane PETER DORNAUF Hands up. Who’s Rongo?

Answer: A god, the god of agriculture in the Māori pantheon. Rongomatane in full, creator of the kumara and associated with the concept of peace. We are deep inside Māori mythology here.

If you are looking for some iconic representation of the god, there are plenty extant, everything from carvings to cute cartoons and back, all depicting the deity, stylistically in very traditional, conventional modes.

Artist Margaret Aull, who is showing at Wintec’s Ramp Gallery, has eschewed such methods of representation and chosen something more modern and abstract. Her painting of the god (acrylic on board) updates the old and presents the figure as blocks of paint predominately black and white with blue and pink bleeding in from the background.

Overlaying this configuration are thin white lines that recall carving grooves while at the same time alluding to simple abstract cyphers.

This is the artist employing contemporary notations and putting them to work to depict, pictorially, a figure from mythology that might speak more directly to a modern audience. This is makeover time. This is Māori renaissance attempting to reconnect to the past but in an up-to-date way.

To make the point apropos of the subject, a floor sculpture was installed that covered the whole gallery space, consisting of small piles of dirt, cone-shaped, 34

gridded out across the wooden surface that patrons had to negotiate when viewing the works.

We are deep inside nature here. One couldn’t get more earthy.

The exhibition is entitled, ‘Aria’, meaning a shield, a barrier, a screen that protects against unwanted “pests”, perhaps, if we are talking crops. Obviously, this has a much wider application, a metaphor for the culture itself, but in the first instance, nature and the ecosystem is highlighted particularly in the work of the second artist showing at the exhibition, Aimee Ratana. Her mural-size digital print on vinyl called ‘Rautawa’, presents traditional Māori motifs overlaid and camouflaged with the long narrow leaves that belong to the Tawa tree whose berries are a favourite of the Kererū. Her digital photographic prints of the bird marry up with the mural thematically.

Zena Ellliott, the third member of the exhibition, continues the concept of the shield with her work, ‘Kirihuna’, meaning camouflage. In nature, a disguise is often employed as a means of survival and Elliott plays with that notion when she takes conventional Māori carvings and reworks them in strident colours.

Another update with a sly reference to mask and allusion to cultural endurance.

How Seas of Conflict Went From Being a Local Band to a Real, Regular Band JARED IPSEN What makes a ‘local band’ into a headlining act? What’s the difference between the shitty band with the Metal Zone pedals you had to endure at the start of the show, and the band you actually dragged your lazy ass out of bed to see? How many rhetorical questions do I have to ask to establish the tone and theme of this article? Three feels like the right amount to serve as a “hook” to entice you to read the rest of this.

I can’t even remember the first time I saw Hamilton progressive metal band Seas Of Conflict - probably because I’ve seen them so many fucking times. I was always into them in a ‘stand in the corner, cross your arms and bob your head’ sort of way, but I can honestly say the last few times I saw them, they blew me away. It seems like ever since the release of their 2017 EP, Vestige, they’ve transcended the “local band” label and have grown into a band that people specifically want to watch instead of just seeing them by accident.

Their live performances are confident, polished, and tight. They consistently post and engage with fans on social media. Their merch is locally printed, and they sell it themselves at shows. They’re unsigned, self-managed, and uncommonly attractive - and I have no idea how they do it.

“We’ve made conscious decisions with the band’s future,” says guitarist Declan Storrie. “We’re rehearsing harder, putting in more time, effort, and money - as well as planning ahead and trying to make the right choices.

We’re best friends, work well together as musicians, love the grind of writing /rehearsing/gigging, and all share the

same ultimate vision.”

In any case, whatever they’re doing is paying off. In a music scene where attendance to shows is lower than ever, Seas seem to be flourishing.

It never ceases to amaze me that in our tiny scene, people are getting together, putting in some effort, and making art that reaches all the way past the cultural wasteland of Rototuna to the rest of the Aotearoa. There’s no promise of fame, or people being there to watch you perform, or being signed to a record label, or even getting paid gas money to play a show - but there are still those out there that do it for no other reason than that they love it. So what can we do to get more people through the door at gigs?

“We need to spend time finding the right venues, hiring soundies who are experienced, getting good lighting - if shows look and sound great, people will want to come back for more,” Declan says. “Some shows in Hamilton are amazing, but you never know what the turn out is gonna be like until the night. It’s a game of luck. When we were young, gigs were always packed, and nothing’s changed since then apart from people not going to shows. The bands are just as good as they were, and the venues are still great.”

I guess the secret to shaking the “local band”≈ label is just straight up putting in an effort, and making a real commitment to the music you create.

There aren’t too many bands that I get genuinely excited to see—but Seas Of Conflict is one of those bands that leaves me inspired, hopeful for the future, and slightly depressed every time I see them.

35

It looks like we’ve really shat the bed on this one. She described herself as “the ultimate tease”, someone who enjoys a good dry hump as much as dry humour. He described himself as a “shit cunt” with a passion for getting drunk in potentially awkward situations. On paper, they seem perfect for each other, sadly they didn’t feel quite the same.

HE SAID:

SHE SAID:

As my flatties were driving me to House, I was quietly excited to see how the night would unfold. I read Nexus and love this section, so I thought it would be fun to go on a blind date. I arrived right on time and was soon seated at a table opposite my date for the night. To begin with, she seemed nice enough, and the conversation flowed for a short while, but I soon realised exactly what I was dealing with. She was a basic bitch. The first warning sign was her craving for vodka cranberries, and my suspicions were confirmed by how she only visited Outback while in town, which was apparently every weekend. Under normal circumstances, I hate talking to boring people, devoid of personality, but fuck it; I had a bar tab to exercise.

It soon became apparent that we had nothing in common. Despite the copious amount of makeup that caked her face, I could still tell that from her expression, she thought she was superior to me; a bad move on her behalf. Apparently talking about doing more with your life than getting white girl wasted isn’t worth your breath. The evening was made significantly better as my boys popped in and joined us for a bit. At this point, she thought it would be clever to proceed to cuss me out in front of my mates after a mere hour of knowing me. Instead of firing up, I thought let’s leave the beef until the write-up. The night ended with us mutually parting ways. My IQ was probably lowered a bit after spending the evening with her, but regardless it was a memorable experience. Words can’t describe it, but numbers can, 3/10. See ya in Finance next week!

So, after days of hounding from my bored flatmates, I finally caved and decided to put my love life in the questionable hands of Nexus. The nerves started to kick in Wednesday afternoon, but after half a can of fake tan, a cheeky shot of liquid courage, and my flatmates’ reassurance they’d be there judging the shit out of me the whole time, I was ready to go. The date kicked off well with his business-like handshake and me forgetting his name 30 seconds in. However, the night took a turn for the worse as the lacklustre banter soon devolved into my date reassuring me that he wasn’t “just another one of those rowing guys” and that his love of The Bank on a Saturday night coupled with a good stiff whiskey were the makings of a man.

Swoon.On a quick trip to the ladies room, joined by my wingwomen, we quickly stirred up a plan to spice up the evening by inviting both parties of snooping friends to join us. Unfortunately, this did little to perk up the night as his mate’s man bun had more volume than our conversation.

By this point it was clear to not only myself but my mates AND his mates that the night was not going to end in my date’s bed - unfortunately, he was yet to catch on. The night thankfully grew a little fuzzy around the edges, and I have vague memories of bottoming out the tab, talking my way out of hearing one more rowing fact, and stumbling home with my entertained flatmates. The date may have only lasted just over an hour, but at least I got back in time to watch the Married at First Sight finale.

Brought to you by House on Hood Street. If you’re keen for a Blind Date, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Keen for some free Burgerfuel? Simply snap us the shitfest of your student lifestyle for the chance to win.

If you’ve accidentally sent us something you shouldn’t have, just email editor@nexusmag.co.nz with all the details. Prizes can be claimed from reception in the SUB (between Unimart and the gym).

39

Puzzles

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ACROSS:

DOWN:

1. Seafarer (7) 4. Attain (5) 7. Cat-like mammal (5) 9. Type of rock (7) 10. Respire (7) 11. Gaze (5) 12. Resembling a horse (6) 14. Unit of time (6) 18. Pandemonium (5) 20. Melodious (7) 22. Elusive (7) 23. Fibbing (5) 24. Foe (5) 25. Distinguished (7)

1. Gruesome (7) 2. Variety show (5) 3. Elevated (6) 4. Parts of a ladder (5) 5. Fruit (7) 6. Precipitance (5) 8. Colossus (5) 13. Unwitting (7) 15. Tripod (5) 16. Joy (7) 17. Hinder (6) 18. Pancake (5) 19. Glossy (5) 21. Percussion instrument (5) 41

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