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20 The Cinema Cash Cow Conundrum Is Hollywood creatively bankrupt? Are movie-goers mindless drones? Are critics pretentious snobs? 42? Questions the film community is having to ask itself more and more these days, and we all know why.
16
23
Auteur House Presents: The 2015 NZ International Film Festival
Chasing Time Productions
At Auteur House the only night more exciting than
the co-founders of Chasing Time
Christmas Eve is the opening night of the Film
Productions. In 2008 we completed our
Festival. Like children carefully wording their wish
first feature film, Pictures of You, the first
lists for Santa, Dr Ezy and I spend hours poring over
digital film to be shot entirely in Hamilton.
the programme, ticking, highlighting and trying to
Our short films have screened in festivals
coordinate our screening schedules. With 58 films
around the world and we have collected
showing in Hamilton over three and a half weeks,
a (small) bag of awards for our recent
you are sure to find something to suit your taste.
comedy and documentary work.
4
NEXUS NEWS
4
Sessional Assistants Feel Like Second
We’re Scott Granville and Ben Woollen,
28
HOW TO BE A GROWN UP How to Credit Card (Part 2)
Class Citizens After Paid Parking Changes 5
Two Hosue Owners Decide Your Fate
29
as a Renter 6
THE SINGLE LIFE 12 Signs You’re Single as F
More Interesting than a WSU Election 30
A FASHIONABLE LIFESTYLE
Editor Jessica Wilson editor@nexusmag.co.nz Design Olivia Paris design@nexusmag.co.nz Deputy Editors Brittany Rose, Jules Craft Managing Editor James Raffan
Liquid Eyeliner Reviews News Editor Sam Marelich
31
AUNTY SLUT Oops! I Had Sex With a Tutor
32
CARNAGE Politics: Weird Shit That No One Gets
35
COOKING FOR STUDENTS
33
NEW LOCALS New Zealander’s Quirks
Burritos 35
HE PUNA KŌRERO Tarae Haati Try Hard
09
REVIEWS
12
ENTERTAINMENT
14
ARTS
15
AUTEUR
36
SNAPPED
37
BLIND DATE PUZZLES
Cover Illustration Eliza Webster eliza.webster.porfoliobox.me @_elizawebster Advertising Andrew James aj@wsu.org.nz Offices Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton Online nexusmag.co.nz facebook.com/nexusNZ @nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine
ISSUE 18 26
40
Contributors Elaine Gyde, Chris Reive, Chris Kader, Jared Wooldridge, Dr. Richard Swainson, Caitlin Orton, Hp, Sarah Hyde, Tania Collins, Peter Dornauf, Janine Swainson, Scott Granville, Ben Woollen, Emma Nygard, Onyx Lily, Aunty Slut, Queenie Tan Pou Eian, Tahangawari Tangitu-Huata, Zac Lyon, Alix Higby
YOUR SPACE
17 AUGUST 2015
The Pit: Frankton
FILM
Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE
Being Jess Malkovich Jess Wilson
Midnight in Paris This movie made me like Owen Wilson. The movie takes you back to a time when the art and writing greats, Dali, Hemingway, Picasso, Fitzgerald, and more, socialised together in Paris. Again, this movie made me like Owen Wilson. Little Miss Sunshine A dysfunctional family that’s not toned down for the audiences. In one scene, they steal their dead grandfather from the hospital,
Like most people, I have a rich history of watching films. From
in another, the ten-year-old daughter performs a burlesque
humble beginnings hiring the latest Adam Sandler movie at the
sequence in a pageant competition to Rick James’ Superfreak
Cambridge United Video, to hiring the latest Scary Movie at the
— great family fun!
Hillcrest Video Ezy, to today, semi-illegally downloading every movie I’m vaguely interested in — but only watching one in five of them. I’m hardly a film connoisseur but, as the ignorant often say, “I may not know art, but I know what I like.” So here’s my top five favourite movies. Amélie Not just a romantic comedy. You know those movies that change your life for two days afterwards? Those movies that inspire you to be a better human who doesn’t eat cereal for dinner? This is one of them. Amélie’s outlook on life, her taking the time to notice the small details and her quirky sense of humour, will inspire you more than any ‘inspirational dogs’ Buzzfeed post will.
Donnie Darko Everyone who’s ever worn Doc Martens or ironically watched Seinfeld will understand the significance of this Jake Gyllenhaal classic. Jake (I like to think we’re on a first name basis) plays a mentally ill and misunderstood teenager who’s straddling the cusp of life and death. This movie is deep, man. Being John Malkovich I saved the best for last. Being John Malkovich’s storyline is so confusingly left field, you’ll wonder how it even got picked up for production. John Cusack plays Craig, a part-time office worker who finds a portal leading into the mind of famed actor, John Malkovich. Tell us your favourite movie, lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz
1
NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce
Sudo-can’t
Sudo-can
The Sudoku Club
Sudoku Fan
To whom it may concern,
Dear lettuce,
We are very unimpressed/frustrated/disgruntled/pissed off/really fuckin had it
It has come to my attention that there is at least one person in your reader
with your sudokus. Week in week out we spend timeless hours in lectures trying to
base who is a fucking idiot. Please keep on doing exactly what you’re doing,
crack your puzzles but we have concluded that you are just fucking with us. Please
because getting to laugh at fucking idiots brings great joy to everyone else.
do something about this ASAP so we can feel like we are achieving something in life as our uni degrees slowly slip down the toilet. P.S an answers section would be greatly appreciated
Savage Spammers Sick of Being Toyed With
Nexus Hates Earth
Can you please cover how savage spammers are in this day in age as a
The Lorax
matter of major importance? The other day I got an email from a charming 22 year old who wants to travel and build a life with me. Within that same day she sent me an email offering me sex with milfs in my neighborhood.
Dear Nexus, You know what’s better than reading three features on the environment from a magazine printed on paper that probably doesn’t even biodegrade? Literally
This issue missed the point worse than Sir Edmund Hillary would have, if he’d
Quit Whining About the Law Ball
suffered from Parkinson’s disease while putting the damn flag in.
Who Cares
fucking anything else. Honestly, Nexus, if there was a single issue that should have been pushed exclusively on a non-paper medium, it was the one that talks about environmental issues.
I’d write a longer letter, but somebody has to work towards keeping our planet safe. I’m going to go plant some trees; shame I can’t fertilise them with the shit I
The law ball seems to be all people are talking about this week. It’s in such
find on your pages.
high demand this year! Which is cool. I’ve heard so many law students complaining that they missed out on tickets. The library was a mad hosue yesterday with people going crazy
I Missed Out NOT happy
because they didn’t get a ticket. It’s only your fault people! Be more organised next time and get your tickets earlier. Or join WULSA and get tickets before everyone else. Its only $10 and you save $10 on your ball ticket with your membership so it’s a win-win.
I am in my third year of law and I have been to the Law Ball EVERY year since styudying at Waikato University. This year I haven’t been able to get a ticket because so many people who are not law students, and even people who don’t go to this university have purchased tickets!!!!! What the fuck is this!? (Sorry, I usually
I’m stoked the ball is a sell-out this year. I’m also a law student and I think it’s awesome there is going to be heaps of non-self-righeous, entitled snobs (majority of law sutdents) (sorry). And honestly, who actually cares? It’s not the end of the world. It’s a ball.
don’t swear, but I am fuming). It is so unfair that my friends and I potentially don’t get to go becasue a bunch of peasants bought all the tickets. There should be pre-sales available to law students, and not just WULSA members so we have a chance to get them before the rest of the uni.
Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public
Also, why was the ball organised so late this year? I feel like I barely knew anything
scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit
about it, let alone had time to get things organised and buy tickets before they
to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves
were all gone. I hope the law ball commity take note of all of this for the future.
the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any
Anyway, I really hope I get a ticket because it sounds and looks like its going to be an epic night.
2
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FILM
law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech. Email your lettuce to lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz
News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE
Computer Science and Biology student Jojo Stewart has landed a fully-paid summer internship with Google’s Sydney
ONYA
WORKING FOR GOOGLE
office. She’ll spend 12 weeks being mentored by a Google engineer and working with other interns to enhance her computer skills.
ROWING NZ PROUD Hillary scholar Matthew Dunham and his rowing partner came fourth in the men’s lightweight double final at the Under-23 World Rowing Championships in Bulgaria. Holly Greenslade’s
STAND-OUT PERFORMER
(third in from left) crew came fifth in the women’s four.
Codi Merito finished fifth in his first ever Junior Elite final at the UCI BMX World Championships in Belgium and was the only Kiwi to make their final.
LAW STUDENT AWARDED $60K SCHOLARSHIP Sam Lusk is completing a Master of
MĀORI ARTIST GOES ABROAD
Laws in Copenhagen after receiving a
Spoken word poet and graduate Te Kahu Rolleston is heading to
full fees government scholarship worth
Canada for The Banff Centre’s Indigenous Writing Programme, a
more than $60K.
joint initiative with Creative New Zealand. Full stories available on the University website. Got a story to share? Email meganb@waikato.ac.nz — thanks to those who’ve sent in their stories.
CAREER COMPASS PROGRAMME
CALLING ALL CYBER FANS
New Zealand has more ethnicities than
Kick-start your career and discover a new
Try your hand at computer hacking and
there are countries in the world — find
direction with Ernst and Young’s Career
network defence by registering for the
out more at this week’s free public
Compass Programme on Wednesday 2
free Cyber Security Competition held on
Winter Lecture on Wednesday 19 August,
September, 9am-5pm at the EY Auckland
the Hamilton campus, 17-18 September.
6-7pm at the Hamilton City Council
office. Open to first and second year
Food, t-shirt and workshops included.
Civic Reception Lounge, Civic Square,
students from any discipline. Apply online
Visit cybersecuritychallenge.org.nz
Hamilton. For more info visit www.waikato.
at www.ey.com/nz/careers/apply before
ac.nz/go/wls
Sunday 23 August, 12pm.
CV UP TO SCRATCH?
SUMMER RESEARCH SCHOLARSHIPS
LIGHTNING CONSULTATIONS
Create a CV that stands out with the help
Found a summer job yet? You could
Stuck on an assignment or just need help
of Career Development Services. Email
earn $5000 doing a Summer Research
getting started? The tutors at Student
careers@waikato.ac.nz to book in for one
Scholarship project — find out how at
Learning are running 20-minute drop-in
of their new CV workshops — running for
the info session on Wednesday 12 and
sessions every Tuesday and Thursday,
a limited time so get in quick.
19 August, 1-1.30pm in S.1.02, Hamilton.
10am-12pm in M2.32, level 2, Student
Applications close 31 August.
Centre, Hamilton.
Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.
NEED TO KNOW
IS NZ REALLY MULTICULTURAL?
NEXUS MAGAZINE News
NEXUS NEWS NEWS FEATURE – NGA PITOPITO KŌRERO
SESSIONAL ASSISTANTS FEEL LIKE SECOND CLASS CITIZENS AFTER PAID PARKING CHANGES BrittanyRose
Parking is still very much dominating the news cycle this week. Are we paying
“I feel like the VC is deliberately targeting parents who work as Sessional Assistants.
for it? If so how, and more importantly, how much? It seems that in our rush to
It feels like he doesn’t want us working here, nor has any understanding of how
figure out how we might be impacted by the decision we haven’t considered
incredibly challenging juggling work, study and children is.”
who else is going to be impacted. Nexus sent Brittany Rose to speak to sessional assistants and tutors about what paid parking means to them.
“I find it insulting and abhorrent that someone who is earning $250k per annum thinks it is acceptable to condone what is effectively a reduction in my hourly
Some time ago Nexus spoke to Tutors Unite! about the concerns of some
wage. $750 a year for a staff car park is but a fraction of a six figure salary. $2
sessional assistants and tutors. These UoW staff are also students, and
a day doesn’t sound like much, but when you have to be on campus every day
unfortunately current employment pay-rates do not reflect the value that
for office hours, that is $10 a week which is a far more significant portion of my
sessional assistants hold in delivering quality education for Waikato students.
wage than for permanent staff.”
And now they’re expected to take what some are framing as “effectively a $2 per hour pay-cut [for mandatory Office Hours]” in order to pay for parking to be on campus when their employment requires so. For example, a “two hour tutorial, where it is effectively a $1 per hour pay-cut.”
According to the UoW Facilities Management Division Paid Parking FAQS, permanent staff, and staff on “new fixed term appointments” each qualify for parking permits. The two forms of permit are: a Numbered Park (at $750 per year, with a guaranteed parking spot), or, a License to Hunt park (at $300 per year, with
Nexus spoke to a course coordinator with a master’s degree and two years
no guaranteed parking spot). Sessional assistants and casual staff like the course
tutoring experience to gain an insight into the ways paid parking is affecting
coordinator we spoke to, and the tutors who teach tutorials on campus are not
Waikato’s sessional assistants and tutors. The only condition they asked for was
entitled to a parking permit and will need to use the regular pay & display system
that their name be left out of the article.
which will be accessible to all who visit UoW campus, and will cost $2 per day.
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News NEXUS MAGAZINE
NEWS – KAWEPŪRONGO The course coordinator’s role is to provide support for tutors, answer student queries and emails about the course and assessments, facilitate student engagement, moderate marking, and provide administrative support to the course convenors. Yet — due to their employment on a fixed term contract — they are not considered a member of staff eligible for a staff parking permit. “I am incredibly disappointed in responses to questions in this regard so far. The latest press release was a slap in the face. Sessional Assistants are excluded from any staff privileges, are paid low wages and expected to be on campus.” “If the university thinks so poorly of tutors, why do they even run tutorials? If they genuinely cared for student achievement, wouldn’t they be prepared to employ and to pay these tutors appropriately?” Tutors, sessional assistants and course coordinators are all required to spend time on campus, and those who have joined Tutors Unite! are already unhappy with their pay-rates among other aspects of their employment contracts. “I am required to be on campus for Office Hours. These office hours are one hour in duration for four days of the week.” “I am also required to be on campus one day a week for two hours to teach a course tutorial. Other hours are more flexible and I can work from home. I am more fortunate than other sessional assistants in that there is a dedicated office space for course coordinators in our paper and so there is a room for me to do marking, to answer emails, to meet with students, to talk with the course tutors etc.” “It’s easy for someone who isn’t responsible for transporting young children to childcare and to school every day to throw around suggestions about public transport and cycling. I live twenty minutes drive away from the university campus, and I am responsible for transporting three young children to school and childcare. There are
TWO HOUSE OWNERS DECIDE YOUR FATE AS A RENTER Elaine Gyde
no other transport options for me other than our private motor vehicle.” Compounding the notion of feeling undervalued in the School of Psychology especially is a recent email from the Psychology Secretary that made it clear that sessionals are not welcome to use the staff room or psychology meeting room for meetings or for marking. Instead they were directed to the psych grad room, K1.07, where other students work and study.
While the rent may already be too damn high in Auckland, Hamilton prices are set to rise unless something is done about it according to a new draft report from the Productivity Commission. Recently, the Hamilton City Council discussed the report, which looked at the fastest growing cities in New Zealand, with Hamilton having grown by about 3,000 people last year. As with the the discussions happening in Auckland, no one solution looks likely to be agreed on with City
Response from the University of Waikato
Councillors backing a range of ideas and solutions.
The University plans to introduce a student Licence to Hunt permit from 2016, and
Martin Gallagher said that there should be no shame in city leaders
the logistics surrounding that are being worked on now. More details will be made
expressing concern about the possibility that money being invested
available in the coming weeks. Sessional assistants who are students will be entitled
in the Hamilton property market could be coming from the “Shanghai
to purchase one of these.
Stock Exchange” He also said that whilst Hamilton does not actually
Students will have four options next year: pay the $2 a day fee at a terminal; buy a student Licence to Hunt permit; park on the streets surrounding the Hamilton campus; or choose alternative means of transport to get to University. A change in behaviour towards more sustainable ways of getting to campus is the main aim of introducing paid parking.
have a housing affordability problem, one would develop drastically if overseas investors began buying up housing stock. Andrew King strongly argued against Council red tape being the concern most likely to fix any problems. He also criticised the Council for using the report to justify its own red tape. Specifically he argued that the council ought to let go of some of its own rules in the District Plan. Gallagher agreed with King’s sentiment but said there were big lessons to be learnt in the “so-called banana box” type housing which Hamilton was notorious for
Nexus would be interested in hearing from more tutors, sessional
in the 70s. Beyond the Productivity Commission report a recent Massey
assistant and co-ordinators in an effort to shed some light on the issue.
University Housing Affordability report found that in comparison to the
Please share your views on your employment conditions via the survey at: https://goo.gl/clS0aT Facebook: Tutors Unite! Waikato University
rest of the country, housing affordability in the Waikato has actually improved when comparing house prices to earnings. The data without that comparison is that compared with the same time last year, national affordability dropped 10.4 percent, and affordability in Waikato/Bay of Plenty decreased 5.3 percent.
5
NEXUS MAGAZINE News
NEWS – KAWEPŪRONGO
MORE INTERESTING THAN A WSU ELECTION Elaine Gyde
On May 7th this year, the UK had a general election which saw the Labour Party under Ed Miliband suffer a significant loss and the Conservatives form a majority government. Ed resigned soon after, and the UK labour party announces a new leader on September 12th; after a complex leadership election, that’s proving different and exciting, almost. There are four candidates in the running, Jeremy Corbyn, Andy Burnham, Yvette Cooper and Liz Kendall. Each of these candidates will get ranked, with the lowest ranked candidate getting knocked out each round. A July YouGov poll predicts Jeremy Corbyn will win the final round with 53% against Andy Burnham with 47%. Jeremy Corbyn was not expected to even get into the ballot, but there has been a lot of reinvigoration around his campaign. At the next election Corbyn will be 70 and he’s been an MP for Islington North in London since 1983. Since then he’s been known for his anti-war, antiausterity and progressive political views. Between 2005 and 2010 he
HIDDEN PAINTINGS: NEXUS INVESTIGATES WHETHER WAIKATO MIGHT IN FACT BE HOGWARTS Elaine Gyde
voted differently from the party mainstream, 25% of the time. These views have led to Corbyn having strong support from young people, unions and also a surge of new membership. Data suggests that there are around 250 new members that have joined Labour for the vote, and who are in senior positions in other parties to the left like the Greens. So why should you care? Well, it’s highly likely that at the next UK general election in 2020, there’s going to be a number of University of Waikato students either living in the UK or seriously contemplating a move. The UK is home to the second highest number of New Zealanders living
Although universities might sometimes feel like soulless institutions, most have
overseas, after Australia. Not only that fact, but, also New Zealanders
expansive and interesting collections of art. The University of Waikato is no exception,
get the nostalgic title of “Commonwealth Citizens” meaning those who
with the University Art Collection an important part of keeping spirits up and bare walls
are living in the UK are actually eligible to vote in the 2020 election.
looking pretty. Throughout campus you can see pieces from the collection, in fact it would be very difficult to miss the sculptures and paintings that are dotted throughout campus. Except for one piece however, as a recent addition to the collection proves a bit more elusive. The library has an internal stairwell (which adds to the myth that the library is one giant stair case tricking us into thinking it is a library) that is there as an emergency fire exit and also available for staff to get around the building. On one wall of this stairwell there now sits a Max Gimblett painting. Luckily and thankfully to learn, this painting was gifted to the collection rather than being bought for the express purpose of hanging in an emergency stairwell. Max Gimblett, now based in New York, is the only New Zealand painter to have exhibited at the Guggenhiem Museum and sells many paintings in both New Zealand and America. Gimblett is strongly linked to Zen Buddhism and religion is often a theme that inspires his paintings. The painting called “In the Beginning was the Word and the Word became Flesh and Dwelt among Us.” The painting is similar to a series by Gimblett, created with broad swirling brush strokes, in black and gold. The reason for it hanging in the stairwell is that at 2.5m high, it is apparently too big for the walls. This reason does make some sense if you consider the fact that the library is mainly glass windows, round walls and bookcases. It is, however, a huge shame that such an impressive painting by a famous New Zealand painter is hidden away from most students. Those who would like a glimpse however are able to contact the Library to arrange a viewing. 6
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Sports NEXUS MAGAZINE
SPORTS OPINION – PITOPITO KORERO HAKINAKINA
HIGH FIVE – NGA TAKE E RIMA
DRINKING GAMES TO PLAY WHILE WATCHING THE GAME 1-on-5 When watching the Lakers, drink every time Kobe Bryant takes a shot. Remember to bring many, many beers to play this one — you’re going to need them.
The Flop This one is pretty interchangeable throughout a number of sports. Drink every time someone goes down ridiculously easy. This works for football, basketball, boxing, all sorts. The Foul Depending on how drunk you’re hoping to get, this one may or may not suit. If you’re drinking every time a foul/penalty is called, you’ll be drinking a lot
AUSTRALIAN EXODUS Chris Reive
— especially if you’re watching netball. The Mispronunciation We all have a bit of a laugh when a commentator can’t say a name right. This one relies on a general group
Long serving Aussie cricketer Michael Clarke has decided to do away with playing
consensus of how the name is meant to be said, but
international test matches following a host of dismal performances eventually
drink every time the announcer gets it wrong.
leading to the embarrassment we call the 2015 Ashes Series. Whether he was pushed or jumped willingly into retirement is entirely up to your own opinion. For
The Ted Mosby
me, I reckon he finally realised he wasn’t helping the team by hanging around, so
In an episode of How I Met Your Mother, Ted Mosby
he decided to bite the bullet. Will that save Aussie’s test team? No, at least not
plays a solo drinking game during the Super Bowl
straight away.
where he drinks any time anything happens. If you’re
What I would like to see now is players like Shane Watson, Brad Haddin, and Shaun
after a night you won’t remember, go crazy with this.
Marsh also giving up the test game. I’ve always been a fan of Marsh in the one-day game, but when it comes to representing at a test level, he never manages to fire and essentially becomes a wasted batsman’s spot in the line-up. Watson needs to
SHOULD IT BE A SPORT? – ME HURI HEI HAKINAKINA?
learn what an LBW is, as he has become the king of referring plum decisions. As for Haddin, he still manages occasionally with the bat, but when your biggest asset to the team is your sledging, you should take that as a bit of a hint. It’s time for these blokes to step aside from the test game and focus on playing in one-dayers — where their erratic shot selection and fiery tempers can possibly do some good on the odd occasion. I do have to hand it to Clarke, though. He did manage to steal the limelight off of England. Following their dismantling of the Aussies in the fourth Ashes test, one of the top twitter trends (and the only one cricket related that I saw) was #ThanksMichael. Not #CongratualtionsEngland or #WayToPutThoseArrogantAussiesInTheirPlace. Well played, Clarke… well played.
RHYTHMIC GYMNASTICS Playing with ribbons shouldn’t be an Olympic sport. It should solely remain
SAFE BET – PĒTI WHITA
the most frustrating part of watching your 4 year old niece unwrap her birthday gift. Just to clarify, Gymnastics is totally a sport but Rhythmic
Safe Bet England to progress from the group stage at the RWC, $1.17
Gymnastics is one small step above being a mime or a candidate for the
Bit of a Risk LA Dodgers to win the World Series, $7.50
ACT party in the list of least respectable career choices.
Long Shot John John Florence to win the WSL Title, $31
Should it be a sport? Let us know what you think editor@nexusmag.co.nz 7
NEXUS MAGAZINE Left vs. Right
STUDYLINK, STUFF AND STUDENT’S COURSE RELATED COSTS Are course related costs a reasonable aspect of a student loan? Should it be raised from $1,000? Or should students stop moaning and work harder? LEFT – MAUI
RIGHT – MATAU
The recent manufactured controversy about what students are spending their
Let’s be honest, it’s social and political suicide to make any arguments to
course-related cost loans on has exposed the fact that our current system is
tighten up the regulations around student loans to current students, so I’m not
not yet miserly enough for some embittered souls. A Stuff article based on
even going to try. While we should give bravery points to Act on Campus for
a handful of anecdotes about students spending their government loans on
trying, there is a reason that there are more people in the debating society
partying, concerts, holidays and so on, forgets to ask the key question of why
than there are in the youth wing of the party, which is really saying something
it matters terribly that the money gets to the textbook barons in their palatial
considering the club crossover.
estates (shit’s expensive) and no one else.
At the same time, we’ve got to look at the way the student loan system is set
Even the Taxpayer’s Union, in its frothing over the non-revelations pointed out
up — there is a reason that it’s been established and subsequent governments
that the onus falls on the government to audit their loans or otherwise get
have made very few changes to the system. While it’s easy to cry about being
the money where it is needed. My only quibble is that being the good free-
a poor student (and with fairly good reason), the numbers don’t lie — staying
marketers they are, surely they should acknowledge that the person who takes
in school pays off, and going to university pays off even more. Statistics New
out the loan is best positioned to decide what it should be spent on, even if
Zealand have crunched the numbers and as of 2015, the average wage for
that is a strategically timed night out to clear the head.
someone with a degree is $1,305 per week. Quite a jump up from the averages
The NZUSA along with various student unions have rightly pointed out that, if there is a problem, it’s that the available funds are insufficient. The loan cap has not risen since 1993, while the cost of living has. They’re calling for course-related costs to be raised to $2000 or $5000. In a saner world we would do away with the veneer of marketisation and just give out more free
of $828 for those with no school qualification or $893 for people with NCEA level one. Post graduate students need not despair either — the average wage is a health $1,551 per week, or almost double the much vaunted living wage. As hard as life might be this week, wages are a fairly rosy picture once you’ve got that piece of paper on your wall.
money. That way students could buy their indulgences through other avenues
I’m not going to try and argue that what we’ve got is a good thing. Some of the
such as the student allowance and the people who monitor everyone else’s
National Government’s moves towards students have been fundamentally short
thrift could sleep better at night. An added bonus would be the removal of
sighted, and only show how out of touch the tertiary minister (Steven Joyce) is
some of the huge, silent tax suppressing the spending of recent, or not-so-
with tertiary students. Rather I’d point to what the Australian Government has
recent graduates when they enter the workforce. Sure, it probably makes
done as a more sustainable repayment model that we should start to adopt.
the government books look a little prettier and assures everyone that proper
Instead of kneecapping students with an exploitative 12% cash grab the moment
standards of personal responsibility are being applied, but evidence that
you earn $19,000 a year, Australia leaves it until you are earning more than
Kafkaesque Studylink bureaucracy and years of indebtedness are superior to
$47,000, and then start with a 4% repayment rate that increases by 0.5% for
free or freer education seems lacking. If their funding weren’t being cut before
each additional $5,000 you make, with a maximum of 8% of your income going
they can earn their qualifications, maybe psych students could explain the
to the government once you’ve got to the enviable income that tops $100k.
need for all this repression.
It’s a good thing to have a student loan system that encourages accountability, responsibility and some level of co-payment. Free tertiary education is a nice idea, but it ignores the fact that a degree puts you on the right track to significantly higher wages.
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Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE
FILM REVIEW – AROTAKENGA KIRIATA
FILM REVIEW – AROTAKENGA KIRIATA
FANTASTIC FOUR
MR HOLMES
Jared Wooldridge
Richard Swainson
So many puns can be made about how terrible a movie called
Any who attend Mr Holmes expecting a conventional whodunnit
Fantastic Four turned out to be, but for the life of me, I can’t
will likely be disappointed. While the titular Holmes is the genius
find the right one. It’s like being spoilt for choice. Crap-tastic
detective created by Conan Doyle, the film is based on Mitch
Four. Fantastic Bore. Bombastic Chore. Drastic Cold Sore. I don’t
Cullen’s 2005 novel A Slight Trick of the Mind. Cullen’s conceit
know, I feel like the perfect one is just out of reach. But, in all
involves Holmes in his dotage. Set in 1947, Sherlock has been
seriousness, this movie is not good.
retired for three decades and his memory is in decline. To help
Some of you may remember the original Fantastic Four movies, which were prime examples of kid-friendly, campy, spandexwearing superheroes. Sure, they may not have been any good
arrest the onset of dementia he decides to himself pen a truthful account of his last ever case, attempting to recall events from 30 years previous.
either, but they at least had some joy in them. This new Fantastic
Playing Sherlock variously in his 60s and 90s, Ian McKellen has
Four movie plays like a serious sci-fi for a large part of its run
never given a screen performance of greater depth or nuance. His
time. A lot of the movie is wasted on the first act, as the team
Holmes is not the egotist of legend, rather a frail, contemplative
takes FOREVER to get their powers, and then, when they do,
man facing his own mortality and repressed emotional baggage.
we see absolutely none of the team dynamics between what is supposed to be Marvel Comic’s first family. Which is a shame, because they have a talented cast gathered here.
Director Bill Condon rises to the challenge admirably, shifting the action from 1918 London to 1947 Hiroshima and back again with seamless ease. There is subtext galore: a humanist, subtlety
Pacing is a major problem, particularly weird, unnecessary time
anti-war thematic, the moving interplay between Holmes and
jumps, but that is far from its only problem. Victor von Doom is a
a youthful protege and the associated tension between the
terrible villain here, the effects can be lazy, and it had absolutely
boy and a mother frustrated that her son has outgrown both
no joy in it, whatsoever. It is just an unpleasant movie to sit
her and her social class. In a strong cast only Laura Linney, as
through, and one that is really unfortunately named. There is a
Holmes’ housekeeper, struggles at times, her American accent
sequel planned already, but please let this fail. I do not want to
occasionally breaking through.
sit through another Fantastic Snore.
If the flashback story fails to satisfy as a mystery it is because the raison de’etre of the drama lies elsewhere. Conan Doyle’s detective extolls the virtues of logic, evidence and reason, Cullen’s Sherlock discovers their limitations.
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Reviews
MUSIC REVIEW – AROTAKENGA WAIATA
FOOD REVIEW – AROTAKENGA KAI
CURRENTS BY TAME IMPALA
WOODLANDS HOMESTEAD
Hp
Caitlin Orton
The third record from Australian psychedelic rockers, Tame
Woodlands Homestead is picture perfect. It’s advertised for
Impala, continues their legacy of sweet and graceful music
wedding functions and even has its own cricket oval. The
that has earned them platinum status and Grammy Award
function rooms are gorgeous with a modern twist on Victorian
Nominations in the past. Currents is an expansive but
and I’m not going to lie, I was mentally organising my non-
approachable set of songs that very quickly draws listeners into
existent wedding day. But in reality, this café destination has a
the quirky world of songwriter and original Impala, Kevin Parker.
few issues to work out.
The sonics of seven minute opener, Let it Happen are damn close
I dropped in on a somewhat drizzly day with the expectation
to an album all on its own, you could walk away satisfied with
that it would be less crowded and I was correct. A small family
just that one track. Not that you would. Not that you should.
gathering and an elderly couple were the only customers. So of
Third track, The Moment is a standout with its danceable drum
course I was disappointed when my order took nearly an hour to
beats and the sugary “It’s getting closer” refrain. In fact, Parker
get to me, and even more disappointed when I realised that they
has such a dreamy voice that swims between the fuzz of his
had artfully tried to hide the fact that my wedges were a little
guitar in a way that creates a picturesque trance. The sound
burnt under sour cream and bacon shavings. The coffee was
flows languidly down the, er, um… Currents that even the rock
reasonable but nothing special and the prices were a little high.
steady drumming, the crunchy feedback and the occasional
Overall the meal was okay.
references to the devil still make this album soft and spongey.
with books and toys inside the café and outdoor games available
However, there is a stronger command of bass that creates a
on the green.
steady rudder in the stream on this track than some of the more spaced out numbers here. If there was a downside to this album, and that’s only an if, it would be that a the rudder could be turned a little sharper left to right on occasion to give the album a few more changes in direction.
10
On a more positive note, Woodlands really catered to children
Lead single, ‘Cause I’m a Man, continues down this track.
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I really hope that this was just an off day for Woodlands because I still have visions of playing croquet and giant chess in a big poofy wedding dress there.
Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE
BOOK REVIEW – AROTAKENGA PUKAPUKA
BOOK REVIEW – AROTAKENGA PUKAPUKA
GO SET A WATCHMAN BY HARPUR LEE
INTERIM BY S. WALDEN
Sarah Hyde
Tania Collins
Reading this book answered some questions for me, but
What makes a person walk into a high school with a loaded
unfortunately left me asking even more. As the most pre-ordered
weapon and open fire?
book since Harry Potter, it had high expectations to live up too, and has been subject to much debate and critique. Did Harper Lee actually write it? I’d say yes. Should it have been published? No.
Jeremy has been abused by his drunken father and at his school he is kicked around and bullied by his classmates. Each chapter is presented as a countdown and has excerpts from his journal
Set back in Maycomb, Alabama, Go Set a Watchman tells the
in which he contemplates the fine line between right and wrong,
story of an adult Scout Finch, who has returned from big city
revenge and justice. In Jeremy’s mind he’s not a murderer, he
New York. Averse to change, she’s still the same girl we met
won’t hurt the innocent, just those he deems to be guilty. That
in To Kill a Mockingbird — idolises her father, teases the boys,
is until the girl he likes finds his journal, reads it and decides to
and refuses to wear dresses. Maycomb has changed however,
talk him out of his plan, she decides to become his conscience.
and she finds herself lost in a town wrought with social unrest and racial struggle. She is forced to step away from her family, and figure out what she truly believes. Except she isn’t really. I was drawn into Scout’s world immediately, straight back to the characters of To Kill a Mockingbird. This nostalgia unfortunately, is all the book had going for it. Scout is emotional and confused, which while artfully conveyed, doesn’t contribute much. There is a real lack of plot development — just not much happens. The lack of editing was evident, and what might have made an
Interim is an intensely dark book, it terrified me in parts and I had to put it down and come back to it later, but underneath that darkness is raw emotion. What I enjoyed about this novel is that it is not a story about the psychological mind of a killer but about a teenager who has just been pushed too far. I felt a range of conflicting emotions while reading Interim: disgust, terror, pity, and even understanding. That is the beauty of S. Walden’s writing, Interim is not an easy, light read but it is a worthwhile one.
incredible short story seemed forcibly stretched. While I’m glad I read this, it left a lot to be desired, and doesn’t get a place on my favourites shelf.
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Entertainment
HOROSCOPES – WHAKAKITENGA
Capricorn (December 22 — January 19)
Cancer (June 21 — July 22)
You will come to the realisation that life isn’t really all
The past is history the future a mystery, YOUR BREATH
about partying and reaching alternative states of mind.
SMELLS PLEASE USE LISTERINE.
What will follow is a flurry of creative influence resulting in an exhibition titled: Life - the Only Drug for Me.
Aquarius (January 20 — February 18)
Leo (July 23 — August 22)
Fearing to go yonder unto the world outside. Afraid they’ll
People will soon begin to call you Tiny. Unfortunately
laugh, afraid they’ll stare? Well, here is a piece of advice
it’s not one of those funny ironic names, no, it’s Tiny as
for you! They will always laugh, they will always stare —
in a synonym for “insignificant”. Does it even matter...
because you’re the ugly duck and there is no compare!
that you are matter?
Pisces (February 19 — March 20)
Virgo (August 23 — September 22)
Regular the on you beat I ,competitor average an
Your sinuses are blocking up, you feel tired as hell - it’s
you’re. Read words from right to left.
okay, ditch your gym date. You’ll end up just crossing his ankles anyway. (Apologies J.H)
Aries (March 21 — April 19)
Libra (September 23 — October 22)
If the government’s list of 857 wasn’t enough you must
This week you’ll finally realise that you are the one in
explore the world around you… faketaxi.com, mofos.
the relationship who is punching above their weight
com, Iknowthatgirl.com
class, which is ironic because if anything you’ve gone risen a few divisions with this winter’s freshy 5.
Taurus (April 20 — May 20)
Scorpio (October 23 — November 21)
HAULT! You must listen. DO NOT LET YOUR DREAMS
Think back to a much-hated activity of your childhood
DIE! You must never take your mind from what you
then go back and experience it again through refreshed
desire! YOU CAN MAKE THE COLLEGE HALL DEBATE
young-adult eyes. The nostalgia of wasting your life
SQUAD.
waiting to be a grown up will bring you to tears.
Gemini (May 21 — June 20)
Sagittatrius (November 22 — December 21)
Zeus speaks! You are heir to the throne on Mount Olympus,
Don’t worry about this week, you are going to be sweet.
but to claim your throne you MUST attend all tutorials... You
What you’re experiencing is a lull in social activity that
won’t claim the position, because you’re a lazy sack of shit
will pick up again during the break. Take this time to
(without the redeeming fertilization components of shit).
actually finish a fucking assignment.
WHAT’S HOT, WHAT’S NOT – NGA MEA PAI, ME NGA MEA KINO
WHAT’S HOT
WHAT’S NOT
1. Donald Trump jokes.
1. Cold mornings.
2. Amy Schumer’s Trainwreck
2. Trying to get high on nutmeg. It’ll
3. No makeup Mondays.
just make you vomit for two days. 3. Yoga-induced anger.
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Entertainment NEXUS MAGAZINE
PLEASE DON’T QUOTE ME – KAUA AHAU E WHAKAHUATIA MO TĒNĀ
TRENDING ON TWITTER – NGA KORERO HIRA O PAE TĪHAU
#NZFLAG
“I THINK ALL WOMEN SHOULD DO IT, I’M A SLAVE TO HIM.”
Elle Hunt @mlle_elle · Aug 10 I like this @guardianaus commenter’s description of the silver fern alternative flag: “It looks like a vegetarian’s pirate flag” #nzflag
– Ice T’s Coco on submission.
9
“...WHO IS GOING TO BE CLEANING YOUR TOILET DONALD TRUMP.”
14
Mikala Dougherty @Kala_Bumm · Aug 11 What’s going to be next??? A new National Anthem or making twelve year olds play for the All Blacks #NzFlag
– Kelly Osbourne on kicking all Latinos out of the country.
“I LICK THE NACHO CHEESE SEASONING AND PUT THE CHIPS BACK IN THE BAG” – Chrissy Teigen gets all the flavour but no carbs.
Raybon Kan @RaybonKan · Aug 10 Whatever the design, the new #nzflag should come with a SIM card, preloaded with 1840 off-peak minutes. And a souvenir teaspoon. 12
15
Elle Huny @mlle_elle · Aug 10 Pepe the frog isn’t going to be on New Zealand’s next flag. What is? Does anyone care? http://www. theguardian.com/world/2015/aug... #nzflag 5
8
YIK YAK OF THE WEEK – TE YIK YAK O TE WIKI
I wonder if Kim K sends Ray J Christmas cards, like “Thanks, couldn’t have done it wthout you”
35
BEST OF THE WEB – NGA TINO O TE IPURANGI
ART TUMBLRS
saraandreasson.tumblr.com
designaemporter.tumblr.com
geometrydaily.tumblr.com
robhodgson.tumblr.com
Swedish designer Sara Andreasson
Modern design with an artisan twist.
A new geometric design each day.
Rob Hodgson has a sense of humour
How fun.
in his design and that’s why you’ll
strikes the perfect balance between tacky and fashion-forward design.
love it. 13
NEXUS MAGAZINE Arts
Comic and Poetic Peter Dornauf
These two crudely drawn figures (shades of the British artist/cartoonist, David Shrigley) are out of an evening enjoying nature under a night sky somewhere near a bucolic river. Toxie is waxing lyrical about the glories and splendour of the universe, the magnificence of creation, the beauty and marvels of the world. He asks his mate Moxie, who’s been busy gathering firewood, if he isn’t overcome with awe at the gloriousness of it all. To which his friend replies — “Actually it just makes me feel small,
August is Hamilton Book Month, which overlaps with Wintec’s Spark
insignificant and pathetic.” Toxie, shot down in flames, lies back with his
Festival. The latter will have been and gone by the time you read this.
head resting on a rock and stares up at the sky with a confounded sigh.
The University’s contribution to Spark came in the form of glitter man,
Meanwhile Moxie, warming his hands by the fire, a slight smirk on his
artist Ruben Patterson, whose exhibition, Tougher Than Diamonds, is still
face, says, “My job here is done.” In the immortal words of Restoration
running on campus at the Calder and Lawson Gallery. Definitely worth a
Man, George Clark; “absolutely brilliant”.
look if you’re into glitter and even if you’re not. More on that next week.
conversation” with Mark Houlahan at the Creative Waikato Big Space,
New Zealand comic-book writer, Dylan Horrocks. His 2010 edition of
131 Alexander Street, on Thursday August 27 at 6pm. Ross recently
Hicksville has become a classic. Coming in at 250 pages, it’s a seriously
launched his new collection of verse on campus, so here’s your
massive tome: a poignant and barely disguised autobiography come
opportunity to quiz the man about his craft.
self-reflexive look at the world, life, love, the comic book industry itself and New Zealand history to boot. It sends itself up mercilessly while involving a structural device that’s best described as wheels within wheels. Or as Nick Silvester, Hamilton Press journalist and comic collector put it, “like watching a David Lynch film”.
14
Continuing with Book Month, poet, Jack Ross, will be in town and “in
Book Month included several gigs, one of which involved my favourite
To end the month, the celebration of National Poetry Day will take place on Friday, August 28 at Hamilton Central Library. There’s an open mic session starting at 6pm, followed later at 7.45, by a poetry slam, where, according to the brochure, there are great prizes to be won. So dust off those rhyming couplets, polish those apposite alliterations and tread a
One of those wheels is the little vignettes that Horrocks splices into
path to the Central Library, level two. Speaking of books, my best recent
the tale from time to time, my favourite being the stories of Moxie and
read would have to be Peter Watson’s The Age of Nothing. Best poet
Toxie. The cameo, “Moxie and Toxie enjoy the country air”, is priceless.
would go to Wellington wordsmith, James Brown.
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Auteur NEXUS MAGAZINE
Auteur House Presents: and 5,6,7,8
moments as the kids go from being VERY reluctant to very determined
Janine Swainson
as it follows another group of young dancers competing in a worldwide
to do their best as ladies and gentlemen. Jig (2011) Made the same year as First Position, Jig is the Irish Dance equivalent competition. This documentary includes dancers from several different countries, and includes adults as well as children.
As someone who took ballet classes twice a week for 11 years, it’s no surprise I love me some dance docos. Here are seven of my favourites that you can rent from Auteur House to (re)awaken your inner hoofer. First Position (2011) People who have never done ballet can never really get how intense (and expensive) it can be. This film follows six American kids preparing to compete in the Youth Grand Prix, a ballet competition for young dancers from around the globe.
Ballet Russes (2005) A stunning movie which is a must see for anyone with any interest in ballet. A mix of archival footage and interviews with dancers from the original company who are in their 70s, 80s, and even 90s, this is the story of the birth of 20th century ballet. Hip-Operation (2014) So you never got to go to dance class as a youngster? What are you waiting for?! A group of Kiwi seniors aged from 65 to 95 form a hip hop dance group determined to go to the world comps.
Every Little Step (2008)
This is a real feel good flick in the vein of Young At Heart that will leave
Life imitates art as a group of young hopefuls put themselves through
you ready to sign up to that class you always wanted to take. No excuses.
the trauma of auditioning for the Broadway revival of A Chorus Line. As well as following the auditionees, the film also goes into the history of the stage show.
Razzle Dazzle (2007) Ok, so this one is actually a mockumentary, but the characters in this can be found at any dance school around the world. Trust me, I have
Mad Hot Ballroom (2005)
met all of these people! Non-dancers will think that characters such
A group of 11 year olds from New York City’s public schools are given
as the dance mum from hell are ridiculously exaggerated. Dancers will
the chance to learn ballroom and later compete. Filled with hilarious
recognise the truth. Absolutely hilarious.
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Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE
AUTEUR HOUSE PRESENTS: THE 2015 NZ INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL Janine Swainson
At Auteur House the only night more exciting than Christmas Eve is the opening night of the Film Festival. Like children carefully wording their wish lists for Santa, Dr Ezy and I spend hours poring over the programme, ticking, highlighting and trying to coordinate our screening schedules. With 58 films showing in Hamilton over three and a half weeks, you are sure to find something to suit your taste. It’s the most wonderful time of the year,
Before we get into it, please for the love of all that is holy, if you
With the popcorn for munching,
really want to see something, BOOK YOUR TICKET!!! Every
And post movie lunching with friends you hold dear.
year you see people getting stroppy at the staff because they
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
haven’t planned ahead and miss out on seeing something. Don’t be that person. You can have the Lido hold your tickets and pay once you get there, so there are no excuses.
Here is a list of films I am particularly looking forward to. I have included the page numbers for each film in the programme for your reference. Programmes are available all around our fair city including at the Lido Cinema (which is
The Mafia Only Kills in Summer
also the Festival venue) and at Auteur House.
So, opening night. Did you know that included in the cost of your $12.50 student ticket, you can rock up to the cinema at 7pm and enjoy “light food and drinks” before the film?! Student bliss! So after you’ve stuffed your pockets full of hors d’oeuvres to get you through the next day’s lectures, you can pull up
Oh and for those of you who are permanently attached to
a front row lazy boy seat for The Mafia Kills Only In Summer
your smartphones and no longer deign to touch paper or
(pg4) which won the 2014 European Film Award for Best
any sort of old school means of communication, there is
European Comedy. Opening night films are always feel good
also a website — www.nziff.co.nz/2015/hamilton (Dumb
crowd pleaser comedies, suitable for taking Mum or Nana to.
smartphones. My cool, faithful button phone of many years
This film is a black comedy that pokes fun at the Mafia
has just died and I now have to join the phone zombie
through the eyes of a young boy who grows up with the mob
hoards. #BitterTowardNewTechnology #WTFIsAHashTag)
influencing all facets of his life.
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature
Skipping straight ahead to closing night, be warned that the final film is usually quite avant garde and challenging. This year I am planning to give The Lobster (pg4) a go, mainly due to my massive girl crush on Rachel Weisz. The gist? A love story set in a dystopian near future where single people are arrested and transferred to a creepy hotel. There they are obliged to find a matching mate in 45 days. If they fail, they are transformed into an animal of their choice and released into the woods. From the director of Dogtooth. AMY (pg6) OK, this is one that a lot of you will want to see, so again, BOOK YOUR TICKET NOW! A highly acclaimed doco about singer Amy Winehouse. Enough said. The Kiwi film where two teenage boys unwittingly summon an ancient evil entity known as The Blind One by delving into black magic while trying to escape their mundane lives didn’t just make it into my list because two of my burlesque friends
Warning. The following film is the annual oh-my-GodI’m-so-hungryafter-watchingthis-film film.
are in it. Well, kind of. I am not a zombie flick kind of girl, but I reckon a lot of Nexus readers will be into it. Deathgasm (pg7) sounds like a hoot and a half. Rams (pg15) Remote Iceland. Two brothers. A 40 year silence broken only by handwritten notes delivered by a farm dog. A love of sheep. When their beloved flocks are threatened, will the feud end? This film was a jury and audience favourite at Cannes.
hungry-after-watching-this-film film. Both sessions are on at dinnertime (6.15pm) so make sure you buy snacks or have senior citizen dinner beforehand and maybe second dinner after the film. City of Gold (pg27) is a documentary that
Tale of Tales (pg17) is probably not one I will see because I am
follows LA film critic Jonathan Gold, who reviews the more
a big wuss and this dark fairy tale horror will probably give
authentic ethnic, unusual and flavoursome street food rather
me nightmares for a week. However for those of you made of
than the posh stuff. I’m drooling already.
tougher stuff than I, it has great word of mouth. More my speed is my annual must-see – Animation Now (pg19) Every year I fearlessly flaunt social norms and am one of the few lone adults in a room full of families watching 90 minutes worth of animated short films. Have never been disappointed.
You may have heard talk earlier in the year about The Wolfpack (pg29). Seven siblings from the Lower East Side of Manhattan who have only left their apartment once or twice a year, one year they didn’t leave at all! In their spare time the kids elaborately re-enact scenes from their favourite films.
And while we’re on animation, there’s the house of Miyazaki’s
Oh. Have I mentioned that this is a documentary? Their
offering When Marnie Was Here (pg21) which really needs no
tyrannical father has confined the family to their apartment
follow up comment if you are a fan already. (If you’re not, just
since birth and all the kids know about social interaction
get along to a session!) And Song Of The Sea (pg21) an Irish
comes from movies. This is one fascinating story I can’t wait
fairy-tale nominated for the Best Animated Feature Oscar this
to watch. And you thought your family was strange!
year. The director cites Miyazaki as a personal inspiration and has had great word of mouth with a whooping iMDB rating of 8.2.
Finally, (as I’m at my word count limit)this would not be a Mrs Ezy article if I didn’t talk about Iris (pg31) which is this year’s
Another 8.2er is Victoria (pg25). Get along to this if only
fashion offering about NYC fashion icon, Iris Apfel. Even if
for the novelty value. It was filmed in one single shot! After
you haven’t heard of her, you’ve probably seen photos of her.
3 attempts with a 12 page screenplay, it tells the story of
93 years old, short white hair, thick black Edna Mode-esque
Victoria, a runaway party girl, who’s asked by three friendly
glasses, and bright, colourful clothes and accessories.
men to join them as they hit the town. Their wild night of partying turns into a bank robbery.
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Warning. The following film is the annual oh-my-God-I’m-so-
If you fancy yourself as a bit of a Glamilton fashionista, feel free to join myself and others at 3.30pm on Sunday 30th August in
A must-see for you crazy daredevils out there is Being Evel
your most fabulous hat for a #HATMOB event before the film.
(pg27). A documentary about that crazy cat, Evel Knievel.
The Facebook event page: NZ #HATMOB New York Style.
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Iris. Photography: Bruce Webber
Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature
THE CINEMA CASH COW CONUNDRUM Jared Wooldridge
Is Hollywood creatively bankrupt? Are movie-goers mindless drones? Are critics pretentious snobs? 42? Questions the film community is having to ask itself more and more these days, and we all know why. If I were to go to a cinema right now, look up at what is
another sequel greenlit. But hey, Johnny Depp needs to do
playing or which coming attractions have been placed front
something, and if he can’t make good movies anymore, he
and centre, what do you think I am likely to find?
might as well stick to the silly walks and rum to pay the bills.
At the time of writing I found Minions, Fantastic Four, Ant-
It will make the studio millions in revenue, which they will
Man, Jurassic World, Mission: Impossible, Ted 2, Magic Mike
pour into making another. And we, like the stupid, mindless
XXL, and Terminator: Genisys. All are sequels, reboots, and
drones we are, will continue paying millions to go watch
spin-offs. With such a lack of fresh ideas on the scene,
it, allowing the cycle to begin again. Is this really what the
you can see why more and more people are beginning to
movies have been reduced to? Well, yes and no.
deplore Hollywood’s milking of their cash cows. Which is a very reasonable point to make, and one I (having sat through a good many of them myself) can partially agree with. However, is it really fair to say?
20
It is true that the studios are currently propped up by their tent-pole movies, their blockbusters designed to make as much money as possible. These are your Avengers, your Transformers, your Batmen, and your Star Trek Wars. It is all
Yes, it’s fair to say that most people are sick and tired
Steven Spielberg and George Lucas’s fault; back in the 70s
of Pirates of the Caribbean by now. That is not going to
they made Jaws and Star Wars respectively, both of which
stop it from killing at the box office anyway, and having
showed the world how much money a movie could make if
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Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE
you released it at the right time. However, back then it also required something else: it had to actually be good. The lines around the block in 1977 to see Star Wars were because of the good things people were saying about it. Sure, while other blockbusters of the time contained story ideas that drew inspiration from other films, or books, plays, whatever that had come before, that does not mean that movies like Jaws, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, or Die Hard were not in any way unoriginal; in fact just the opposite, they were unlike anything anybody had seen before. An original blockbuster is not some fantasy, so why the hell does it seem like we can’t make them anymore? To put it bluntly, if we are unsatisfied, it’s our own damn fault. But what is it exactly we are blaming ourselves for? For going to see movies that we like and enjoy? Sure, for even the most devoted fan it’s getting harder and harder to defend Transformers as nothing more than Michael Bay printing his own money from explosions and models, but look at the movies we have been shilling our money out to go see over the past few years. Look at The Dark Knight trilogy, the Marvel movies, the Bond films, the Hobbitseses(es?), the Pixar movies, the Fast and Furious movies, and Harry Potter
...it’s getting harder and harder to defend Transformers as nothing more than Michael Bay printing his own money from explosions and models...
— what was wrong with going to see them in the cinema? All those movies you enjoyed seeing, are you looking back now and regretting giving your money to fund them? I’m not. All these movies, for better or worse, all set out to do one thing: provide us with an enjoyable experience, because really, that is all you’re paying for when you go see a movie — the experience. There is something about a crowded theatre showing the latest blockbuster, even if it is 3D. (Even 3D technology is really starting to catch up with its potential, whether or not we like the extra it costs). It’s there that I think the real problem stems from anyway: the cost. Because these movies are the only ones we actually go to see anymore. The truth is there are plenty of absolutely fantastic
keep on doing what we’re doing. We go into a dark room for two hours, enjoy the pretty colors with the crowds, and leave. Sure, we may not want another Pirates of the Caribbean, but never forget original movies can still suck too. Just look at Jupiter Ascending, Transcendence, and the like. The industry may implode eventually, but until then, the rabble can enjoy what they enjoy. Plus, if it’s an original, engrossing story, packed with drama and human characters, then the answer to that question is simple too. It’s television.
and original movies out there that pop up every now and
Television has progressed, at this time, to a point where it is
then, but we won’t go see them. We can’t take the chance, I
a far superior story-teller than film is. Just look at Game of
mean $14 is expensive! That’s a four-pack of Wild Turkey and
Thrones, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, or House of Cards. It
a pirated movie right there. So we’ll go see what we know,
gives us the rich drama that film cannot muster within two
and what we believe will give us the best bang for our buck.
hours, while film can still offer bombastic thrills far above
Sure, some of the stories on these blockbusters may not be
anything television can yet offer us.
the most original, but we can still sit back and just soak in the awesome sights that can be thrown at us. We may have created this cycle of blockbusters, but you cannot deny that they were designed expressly for our enjoyment.
So yes, I suppose we are mindless drones, but who cares? I’m going to go see Batman V Superman anyway, because I know it’s just going to be so awesome. I’m not bothered about feeding the big, bad corporate dragon, so long as they
What is the solution then? If we don’t have the money to
give me what I want. And if they don’t? Then I can always get
go around, spending it recklessly on some unproven, low-
mad and go shout, cry, and abuse people on the internet, like
budget indie film, what is the solution? Well, it’s simple: we
a little bitch. It’s just the way the cycle works.
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature
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FILM
Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE
CHASING TIME PRODUCTIONS Scott Granville and Ben Woollen
We’re Scott Granville and Ben Woollen, the co-founders of Chasing Time Productions. In 2008 we completed our first feature film, Pictures of You, the first digital film to be shot entirely in Hamilton. Our short films have screened in festivals around the world and we have collected a (small) bag of awards for
Pride of Caldwell. Short Film, NZ 2012. Photography: Lecars Li, Dan Inglis, Joe Hitchcock
our recent comedy and documentary work. Scott: It seems quite unbelievable that after more than
Scott: I think whenever you invest so much time and energy
seven years of working together on projects we haven’t
into something and ask your cast and crew to do likewise,
tried to kill each other — or at least superficially wound one
you become extremely attached to the project. And if that
another with a bit of stabbing. Why do you think that is
finished product gets knocked back from festivals or gets
the case?
panned it really hurts. I mean our early stuff got a lot of
Ben: There’s a lot of luck involved with finding the right person who you can work with, no doubt about it. There may have been times where it came close to boiling over, especially touring the festival circuit. Thousands of miles on the road can take its toll. Endless highways in a compact rental, sleeping on a perpetually deflating air-mattress, or a
rejections. But once you start including realistic audience targets (festivals or online or theatre release) into your planning process you don’t feel like curling up in a ball every time you get a no. If your film is good enough it will find an audience. And once we understood our audience we started getting into some pretty cool festivals.
couch that’s one cushion short, festival parties, after parties,
So what advice would you give to a filmmaker starting out?
after-after parties, snoring that could drown out a lawn
Let’s call this person Jane. She has a killer short script and
mower. It’s knowing each other’s boundaries and knowing
just knows it would make a great film. What does she do?
when to take a time out. Short answer: shared interests, common goals, respect, open dialogue... and earplugs.
Ben: If it’s already on paper it’s a good start, but I won’t lie to you Jane, it’s not easy to turn that script into your cinematic
We’ve definitely had some good success with our films, but
vision. Surround yourself with good people that want to be
at the same time we have also received a lot of rejection
involved and make sure you can rely on them — it’s important
letters. How do you think our approach to making films has
down the stretch. Don’t micromanage but be conscious of
changed over time to try and curb these disappointments?
everybody’s roles... and decent catering is paramount, put
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature
If your film is good enough it will find an audience.
it in the budget. Learn how to manage feedback and don’t
We can probably only squeeze in one or two more
take everything too personally, it’s not about you, not always.
questions so here is a crystal ball moment. Give me your
Honestly Jane, your first film will probably not be great, but
wish list for the next two years in terms of film production
you’ll learn an incredible amount from doing it. Build on it, it’s a vital step for how your next production will run. Practice, watch films, learn structure, and be prepared.
guess I’d like get over that last hurdle and see our feature film start production. I’d like to film the third installment of
Since we’re bringing other people into this dialogue,
our series of Caldwell short films, and would definitely love
can you tell Jim (and Monica who’s asleep over there)
to develop it as a TV or VOD series. I think that would take us
what your most memorable moment as an independent
to 2017 quite nicely.
filmmaker might be, and how has this encouraged you to continue on in a fairly tough industry?
We’re bang on 809 words — so you can finish it off if you like. My final question to you, and it may be slightly similar
Scott: I think the number of memorable moments across
to your question previously, but say you had the chance
projects and over time make it worthwhile carrying on even
to make any story you could, without worry of copyright
though sometimes giving up would be the easy (or sane)
infringement, options, budget constraints, or anything like
decision. Most important is the relationships and friendships
that. What would it be? And more importantly, why?
you create given the nature of the industry — we have been really fortunate to work with some extremely talented people and a lot of really passionate, generous people. Then when you do have success and can travel with your film to festivals you make a whole new network of like-minded people. And nothing beats sitting with an audience watching your film and hearing them laugh or cry or just react to something
24
Ben: Only two years? I could do ten I reckon. However, I
Scott: I think it would have to be getting our feature film, Happy as Larry, into production and then completed. That may be small-scale based on your question but having spent the best part of four years on and off trying to get that particular script production-ready it would be great to see the project move forward and eventually finished.
that took so much hard work to get to that place. So that’s
Ben and Scott encourage anyone interested in filmmaking to
my two cents worth Jim. Disappointed Monica slept through
contact them through Chasing Time Productions (unless you
that but what can you do.
are a pretentious twat).
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FILM
BURGERFUEL IS TAKING OVER AMERICA
WWW.BURGERFUEL.COM/USAYE
Offer available at any BurgerFuel in New Zealand. Not available with any other offer. One voucher per person, per visit. Not valid for online ordering. Expires 30/08/15.
NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature
The Pit: Frankton Welcome to The Pit. In this industrial building live five young Hamilton artists and a cat named Hamish. As I enter the towering box-like building, I am greeted by the scent of paint and cigarettes. Paintings, prints, and drawings line half of the walls, which I am informed will soon be completely covered. On Saturday night they had a band playing, so they’re still cleaning up. The acoustics aren’t bad with the tall ceiling. Is this Hamilton’s next big venue for up and coming bands? We’ll see...
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FILM
Photography: Cameron Robinson
Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE
27
NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns
HOW TO BE A GROWN UP – TE TU PAKEKE
“HERE’S WHERE IT GETS SO CUNNING YOU COULD SLAP A TAIL ON ITS ARSE AND CALL IT A FOX.”
Lesson 2: How to Credit Card (Part 2) Onyx Lily
then you’ll get a few bucks at the end of the year. But to really play them at their own game, know your monthly budget, make all your purchases on your credit card and pay back the balance at the end of each month. That way you’ll not only rack up way more cash back, you’ll also get a bit more interest in your cheque account too, by keeping your readies in there longer. But you have to be good at budgeting, and sticking to it, otherwise you’ll just end up in shitloads of debt. Balance Transfer Here’s where it gets so cunning you could slap a tail on its arse
Last week I showed you how to credit card and not get into
and call it a fox. First, obtain a standard credit card which doesn’t
masses of debt. But what if I told you, you could credit card, and
charge a huge fee if you make a cash withdrawal. Next, get yourself
make a profit?
a 0% balance transfer credit card deal. Take out cash up to the
Take the red pill Neo, we’re going down the rabbit hole.
limit of the first card, and put that cash into a high interest savings
Banks offer really good sounding deals for the same reason gyms
account. Transfer the balance onto the 0% balance transfer card.
do — they bank (haha) on very few people taking full advantage of
Make the minimum payments until the last month, then get the
what’s on offer. Here are two ways you can make the bank pay you...
money back out of the high interest account, pay back the balance
Cash Back Cards Quite a few credit card providers offer cash back cards. The
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of the 0% card, and walk away with the interest tucked in your happy little pocket.
basic premise is that for every dollar you spend on the card, you
Remember though, while it is possible to credit card like a boss,
accumulate a proportion of cash back. If you don’t pay off your
the banks will try their best not to let you. Make sure you read all
balance in full each month, the interest you pay will totally negate
the terms and conditions and fees before you sign anything, and if
the cash back. If you do pay your balance in full each month,
you can’t stick to a budget, don’t even go there.
FILM
Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE
THE SINGLE LIFE – TE KOIORA TAKITAHI
“THE LAST DICK YOU SAW WAS A PHOTO OF JOHN KEY.”
12 Signs You’re Single as F Emma Nygard
3. You go on Craigslist just to browse the advertisements that are usually titled “54 y/o professional woman seeking some fun with younger male” or “22, male, slightly tubby looking for serious relationship. Must be into cosplay” in a bid to make yourself feel better. You may be desperate but you’re not THAT desperate. 4. You seriously consider replying to a Craigslist advert. 5. The five free condoms you bravely took from the Waikato University Health Centre at the beginning of the year remain
There are only two types of people in this world: people who are single and people who are single as fuck. Oh and of course people who are in relationships or whatever — but you generally can’t drink too many tequila shots and wake up in their bed feeling like you’ve just sat on a watermelon with no recollection of the night before. So do they even really count? Yes they do, but that’s beside the point. I’m just here to help you distinguish between the flirty and fun single status and her gross, unattractive sister known as Single As F. So here are 12 signs that could suggest you are just sad and lonely enough to be condemned to a single asf life. 1. When you take a really good selfie and your immediate thought is “Damn, this will look good on my Tinder.” 2. You use Tinder as more than just a way to pass time on the toilet.
safely contained in the Hello Kitty container you put in the drawer by your bed. Minus the one you blew up like a balloon. 6. Your body hair doubles as added winter insulation because you haven’t shaved anything in roughly three months. 7. You’ve had to buy 5 packs of double A batteries in the last month. 8. You’ve exited reality and have chosen to live your life through a much hotter, much more talented Sim version of yourself that you ultimately marry off to the Sim version of your crush. You also live in a massive mansion despite being unemployed because “motherlode”. Duh. 9. The closest thing you’ve got to getting laid in months is listening to The Weeknd. 10. The last dick you saw was a photo of John Key. 11. You read this column every week. 12. You write this column every week. Damn.
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns
A FASHIONABLE LIFESTYLE – NGA KORERO HUATAU
“THIS LINER IS NO-BULLSHIT, INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH.”
Liquid Eyeliner Reviews
it was perfect, but after a day’s wear, I changed my mind. The
Jess Wilson
Revlon ColorStay Liquid Liner: 4/5
packaging says it is both waterproof and smudge-proof, but for me, I wouldn’t say it’s either. Don’t remind me how scruffy the brush became after one week.
Price: $30 (Farmers) Apart from the fact the brush is a bit thick and they spelt ‘colour’ wrong, this is a good eyeliner. It’s soft on the skin and lasts a long Applying liquid eyeliner needn’t take years to master. A good liquid eyeliner can be applied quickly and easily. After close to a decade
Linequeen Super Fit Liner by Koji: 5/5
of wearing a cat-flick, only recently have I discovered how and
Price: $10 (Amazon)
what to apply to perfect the classic look — and it’s quite simple.
Easily the best eyeliner I have ever used. Most eyeliners make my
First, wipe the brush on the rim of the bottle. This is where most
eyes feel heavy, even sore, but Linequeen stays soft and light on
newbies go wrong.
my skin. It’s super black, so you don’t have to go over lines, and
To achieve a perfect flick, pretend to follow the lower lashline
the 0.1mm tip makes precise application easy. My cat flicks last all
with your brush, but only start applying when you reach the outer
day without cracking and smudging, even when I’m sweating or
corner of your eye. The flick should be straight and short. You can
rubbing my eyes.
always make it longer, but it’s harder to make it shorter. Connect the bottom of this flick with the line along the eyelid. Perfect catflicks, here you come.
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time. The colour is dark without cracking or caking.
L.A Colors Liquid Eyeliner: 4/5 Price: $5 (The Warehouse) The only fault with this liner is that it may feel a little heavy on
Za Liquid Eyeliner: 1/5
your eyes, that, and who knows what’s in this cheap product.
Price: $20 (Life Pharmacy)
This liner is no-bullshit, industrial strength. A super-fine tip brush,
A decent eyeliner. After reading review after review ranting about
the blackest black you’ve ever seen, and a disturbing amount of
how life-changing this liner is, I had to buy it. At first, I thought
staying power. This eyeliner won’t let you down.
FILM
Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE
AUNTY SLUT – KOKA KAIRAU
“...YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE KNOWN AS THE PERSON WHO FUCKED THEMSELVES INTO AN ‘A’...”
Opps! I Had Sex With a Tutor Aunty Slut
to act like one. Pull this person aside and try and clear the air (after class of course). If you don’t want it to go any further, you need to tell them that, but perhaps try and avoid words like “horrific mistake”. Admit you didn’t realise who they were, and sincerely apologise for putting their professional integrity at risk. I’m sure I don’t have to explain why fucking your tutor is bad form, but you do not want to be known as the person who fucked themselves into an ‘A’, and they definitely do not want to be known as the sort of person you can wrangle into bed to improve your grades.
Dear Aunty Slut, I got really wasted last week and went home with what I thought was a random. I don’t remember much except that the sex was pretty good considering how drunk we were. But I went to class a couple of days later and realised it was one of my tutors, when
If you do want it to go further, you need to wait until your grade is finalised. Seriously. Close the muffin shop. No late night Snapchat sex sessions. If it’s really meant to be, it will still be a thing once the semester is over.
they kept staring at me. What do I do?
It may also be a good idea to email the lecturer for the paper
Academic Lustin
confidentially to let them know that there’s a conflict of interest — because they will eventually find out. You don’t need to be overly
Dear Academic Lustin,
specific, but if you mention that you’re worried about keeping
Um. Wow. Let’s just say that if there was a weekly award for the
everything above board, they will likely make sure they mark your
Captain of Clusterfucks, you would win.
work themselves. This protects both you and your tutor. You may
This scenario is basically why the drinking age is 18. You see, teachers, tutors, and lecturers are all people too. And in a town
also be able to switch tutorials, if things are getting awkward to the point that you can’t bring yourself to go to class.
as small as Glamilton, you’re almost guaranteed to bump into
I’m all for getting shitfaced, but in the future, please try to stay
someone you know while out indulging in our favourite past-time:
at least coherent enough to make sure that you’re not fucking
getting shitfaced.
the system?
I think the first thing to remember is that this isn’t high school.
Love, Aunty Slut
You’re a grown up engaging in grown up activities — so you need
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns
CARNAGE – NGA MAHI KORARA
“GRANTED POLITICS ARE BORING AS FUCK BUT THIS IS ONLY BECAUSE WE DON’T VOTE.”
Politics: Weird Shit That No One Gets Jules Craft
A cause of the terrible relationship between young New Zealanders and politics is that when we have finally reached the prestigious voting age — WE HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHO TO VOTE FOR! I mean there isn’t actually any compulsory part of our education that makes us understand how government, voting, and opposing parties work. For sure parents can teach their kids, but isn’t that a little bit of a biased way to learn about a democratic system? One thing I always wonder about when I think about this topic is why should I vote for the same party as my parents? I’m young, which means I’ll be one of the main financial supporters (taxpayers) for these policies’ future implementation; shouldn’t I
Politics is out of it, and so damn unappealing. You know what is
really be thinking about what is best for me? The idea of voting for
a real pity though? Politics controls everything that happens to
‘what is best for me’ sends me into a state of confusion. Should I
our country and society. When you understand how much control
be voting for ‘what is best for me’ or ‘what is best for my country?’
politics has over our lives it sucks to think that a majority of cats
As in what would work best for everyone? After all I have always
aged 18-25 don’t give a fuck about it.
been taught to be kind and thoughtful towards others.
Granted politics is boring as fuck but this is only because we don’t vote. If the younger generation did vote, and voted as a unit, all political parties would be scrambling to create campaigns that captured our imagination and attention. If we voted properly every election Andrew Little would most definitely be dropping a mixtape on the benefits of socialism and ol’ Johnny Boy would most definitely create a reality T.V show to invigorate feelings of National pride — Keeping Up with the Keys, brought to you by sponsorship from overseas shareholders.
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As an uninformed young voter I could list a thousand more questions and doubts I have about politics — I believe this is a big problem. People don’t realise the autonomy they have over their own life, we often know so little that it is easier to ignore the fact that our vote does count, and that if we become informed and use our vote the governmental system does work correctly. I encourage cats to learn. I encourage cats to speak. I encourage cats to talk about politics. Churp, J.C
Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE
NEW LOCALS – KORERO MAI TĀWĀHI
“...I SINCERELY ADMIRE YOUR TOLERANCE FOR PAIN.”
New Zealanders’ Quirks
prized work of art in a museum!
Queenie Tan Pou Eian
once when my shoes failed me… Initially, it was not too bad, but
Though what really stands out and amazes me until today is the fact that during summer, New Zealanders like to walk around barefoot — no matter the surface! I was forced to walk barefoot after like 10 minutes, I had to hop around like a crazy person as the ground became too hot and the stones were hurting my feet! So I sincerely admire your tolerance for pain.
Having been born in an Asian country, seeing Caucasians on the
However, what amazes me even more is that during winter, I can
streets in Asia is a very rare thing. Maybe some of you have been to
still spot many New Zealanders walking outside dressed in just a
an Asian country before, and maybe, you have been approached
t-shirt and a pair of shorts as if it is summer! I, on the other hand,
by a tiny Asian lady who was probably older than you were. Then,
am always covered in two layers at the bottom and three layers at
she asked if she could take a photo with you. Okay, I have to admit
the top. When I look at y’all, I feel even colder. So I sincerely admire
that sounds very strange…
your tolerance for the cold as well.
However, if you look back at the situation, you were actually
Oh and one more thing: New Zealanders don’t use umbrellas when
being treated as if you were Channing Tatum or Emma Watson
it’s raining. I guess I will not blame y’all for that as the rain in New
(depending on your gender of course). They probably have never
Zealand is not as heavy as I’ve experienced back home. So when a
seen a Caucasian outside of the television before so they may
friend of mine got her umbrella stolen by someone, we were both
have been very excited to see you.
shocked as we were pretty sure the locals don’t use umbrellas!
So, if you ever travel to an Asian continent again, instead of feeling
Despite all your quirkiness, I guess I have stayed long enough in
all awkward and confused about the whole situation, put on your
your country to get used to seeing them.
winning smile and strike a pose for the phone for you are like a
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns
HE PUNA KŌRERO
“ALL YOU FELLAS THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY TOO SHY TO SEEK HELP, BUT NOT SHY TO SEEK LOOSE CHANGE FROM YOUR NEIGHBOUR, GO AND ASK FOR HELP.”
Tarae Haati Try Hard Tahangawari Tangitu-Huata
This column will take a damn good look at topical Māori issues and I have taken it upon myself to open with a concern that I have observed personally which I will label the “Tarae Haati”. It was recently brought to my attention that, like most students, we like to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of heading to the hilly on a payday and then sulking on Facebook about being hungry and stressed about having minimal time to do our assignments. “Bei, wake up.” A quote far too commonly used not only by Māori mentors, but also by our on to it cuzzies that actually crack ‘A’
Tukua mai tō aroha e te kaihanga ki runga ki ēnei tauira e inoi nei
plusses. They do so by working hard first and then playing hard
ki a koe. Kei te whakahōnoretia tō tātou Kīngi Māori te pikitūranga
afterwards. Sometimes they might do it the other way around, but
o Te Whare Kāhui Ariki te Whare Tapu o Potatau Te Wherowhero
the mahi gets done.
rire hau pai marire Waikato Taniwha rau he piko he taniwha ko Tūheitia he taniwha, ko Tūheitia he tangata, ko Tūheitia he Kīngi Māori haumi e, hui e, tāiki e.
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An easy and quick solution is to ask for bloody help. All you fellas that are supposedly too shy to seek help but not shy to seek loose change from your neighbour, go and ask for help, even better
A massive kia ora out to you all, my name is Tahangawari Tangitu-
come and see me in my office or make an appointment with the
Huata. I am your VP Māori for WSU and I’m introducing this new
WSU advocacy services. No good trying to look cool and walk into
Māori perspective space for all Māori to discuss our issues. It’s
class late and hungover or eyes blazed with your work not even
not just for us who are completely fluent or who have joined Te
done. It’s better you make a good attempt at your studies than a
Waiora, TRN, or TW, but for all students who identify as Māori and
failed one. I’ll finish off with a saying from Ruki Tobin:
who are whangai into the wider whanau.
“C’s make degrees but A’s get big pays”
FILM
Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE
Burritos Zac Lyon
1 tsp coriander powder or crushed seeds Salt and Pepper Beans (for the vegetarian folk) Salad ingredients (lettuce, tomato, cheese, avocado, sour cream…) Tortilla wraps (or make em yourself — my cooking channel has the recipe)
Word from the not so wise: grown up life aint much fun. Wake up, work, eat, sleep, repeat. I’m telling you people, get a job that you like, that you don’t mind spending hours a day plus some doing. It will help your sanity in the long run! Anyways, enough about my pooey predicament, some of you guys will be in the same boat as I am and are stretched for time to cook something
Method 1. Heat a large frypan, add in spices and heat until fragrant. Your nose should be transported to Mexico. Then add in some oil and throw in onion and capsicum. Cook until soft.
half decent (nothing like piss marinated mouse — Bear Grylls). So this week
2. Add mince to same pan, cook and add mustard and tinned tomatoes. Let it
it’s going to be something that flys together nice and easy, like Captain
simmer for 5 mins to cook off excess moisture. Mixture should be nice and
Underpants, something that can be both meat and meat-free and isn’t going
thick not like a spag bowl sauce.
to have you begging or selling your body to pay for it. Ingredients 500-1000g of mince (depending on the number you’re feeding) 1 large onion diced 1 red capsicum diced 1 can of tinned tomatoes fluid drained
3. Season and turn out into a bowl for serving. Serve with wraps and salad. I’m not going to bother telling you how to fill your burrito. You should know what you like filling your burrito with. Don’t go with a Wet Burrito. I’m ashamed to say by checking the plural of burrito (just adding the ‘s’), this came up as a search suggestion.
1 Tbs wholegrain mustard
I always have structural integrity issues with my burrito, perhaps trying to ram
1 tsp paprika
too much stuff into it? Who knows, I never learned and I bet some of you have
1 tsp cumin powder
the same issue. The slow to learn bit.
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Snapped
Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week (printed with the Burgerfuel logo), wins a voucher from our mates at Burgerfuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.
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Blind Date NEXUS MAGAZINE
Brought to you by The Bank and 97.8 The Edge. Each week Nexus attempts to make a love/sexual connection. if you’re keen for a date on us, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz
His favourite movie is The Intouchables. She replied to all our emails in Comic Sans. The last “book” she “red” was Nexus. He knows all the words to Wake Me Up by Avicii. She knows all the words to Trumpets by Jason Derulo and any Bruno Mars song. We put them on a date where sex, depending on the person, was definitely an option...
XX
XY
Going on the Nexus Blind Date was definitely something
I walked into The Bank expecting the worst, but hoping
I never thought I would end up doing, but there I was —
to see a straight 10 with an IQ of about the same — so I
due to a sneaky entry from my flatmates. I had a couple
could show her the old “how’s yer father”.
The Lady’s Experience
of drinks before we left, then got dropped off by my whole flat — who seemed to be a lot more excited than I was as they said they felt like proud mothers.
The Gentleman’s Experience
When she arrived it was a little awkward because I had definitely seen her around before, and she knew exactly who I was. The general conversation consisted
When I walked in I immediately saw an old friend from
of getting to know each other and finding out just how
high school who happened to be there for dinner as
many friends we had in common.
well. Now getting a little nervous, I was shown to my
We each had a few cocktails. All in all she was a lovely
table where my date was waiting. I also recognised him
girl, very easy to talk with, and a bit of a looker. Still, I
straight away as he is a friend of a friend which calmed
had decided early on that she wasn’t for me, and had
my nerves a little.
initiated my back-up plan of going to hospo with a
We both ordered a cocktail for each other and I decided
couple mates.
to be nice and get him a sweet one while I got the Long
My mates turned up near the end half-cut, and we all
Island Iced Tea, which was something I wasn’t planning
went off together. I was probably a little more tipsy than
on drinking on a Tuesday night. With both of us being
I should have been, and so when she said her flatmate
from Hamilton we had a lot of friends in common,
could pick her up I had no objection to seeing her out
including two of his friends who tried to spy on us. Let’s
so I could head back in and cut some shapes. There was
just say their cover was blown pretty quickly as they
some talent floating around in Shenanigans during the
definitely had a lot more to drink than us. All in all it
rest of the night, and I definitely didn’t wake up in my
was a good and entertaining night with good company,
own bed this morning. Cheers for the good night Nexus
definitely would recommend. Thanks again Nexus.
(and thanks to my date!)
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NEXUS MAGAZINE CARE
WAIK ATO STUDENTS’ UNION
REPRESENTATION – KANOHITANGA
OFFICIAL NOTICE OF SPECIAL GENERAL MEETING (SGM) By resolution of the Board of Directors pursuant to rule 10.1 of the Constitution, a Special General Meeting of the members of the Waikato Students’ Union (Inc) has been called in order to repeal, alter, add to or amend the rules of the Association. The meeting will be held in LG.01, Wednesday 9th September 2015, at 1pm The business of the meeting is: 1. To make changes to the constitution which will satisfy the new criteria allowing the WSU President to be appointed as the Student
EXPERIENCE – TE WHEAKO
Representative on Council. 2. To re-consider the Māori representative role on the WSU Board and the duties associated with the VP Māori position. 3. To ratify the motion from the 2014 SGM regarding new provisions for the election of the VP Māori. In accordance with rule 10.5 of the Constitution, this is the only business to be transacted at this meeting. Further information is available from the office of the WSU. Published 10th August 2015
Shannon Says The Special General Meeting is all about recognition and restoration this year. The last thing we wanted to do is have yet another SGM but this is about recognising some great work that has been happening in the
University Challenge
background to restore your student voice.
During the recess five students will be down in Wellington representing
We need to make a constitutional change to allow anyone who is eligible
you and this University in a televised quiz competition to find out which
to vote in our election the chance to — because the person who wins will
University is the smartest one. Spoiler alert, it probably isn’t Massey.
be appointed your student member of council. This will help to ensure that
Several weeks ago Luke Oldfield, Simon Kay, Steffen Van Lieshout,
your voice is heard. It’s also about ratifying the vote we had at the last SGM.
Rosemary Swears and Zanian Steele answered an advert in this magazine
We value the VP Māori position highly, and the feedback from students was
and tested the highest to earn places on our University Challenge team.
that you wanted the process to identify the best candidates for the role,
The team has been training under the supervision of University Challenge
due to its importance in facilitating the Māori voice on campus. The change
Alumni Anita and Don Neal. The team also had a buzzer system created for
we want to make would see any candidate for the VP Māori needing to get
them by IVXs a collective of Lecturer Emmanuel Turner and Uni graduates
endorsed by an established Māori roopu on campus or by ten Māori students.
Ryan Neave and Emma Martin. This is the second consecutive year that Waikato has competed in University Challenge. The episodes will be
The final thing we want to do is to ensure that in the absence of the
screened later in the year.
President, the VP or the VP Māori can act as their representative.
ADVOCACY – ĀWHINATANGA
MANAGING MONEY
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LEGAL ISSUES
FILM
CAR POOLING
FINDING A JOB
STUDYLINK & UNI STUFF
DELIVERIES WHEN I’M NOT HOME
DEALING WITH MY LANDLORD
CARE NEXUS MAGAZINE
EXPERIENCE – TE WHEAKO WISA Cook Off This Wednesday 6 teams representing 6 different nationalities will compete in an international cooking competition. This will take place 12-3pm on the Village Green. The event will bring international and domestic students together to learn about different cultures. The event is free, with a free BBQ and cultural fare from the Chinese Student Association on offer. Teams were randomly assigned a nationality by ballot, and have had one week to prepare their recipe. Each team will have 10 minutes and $50 to “hunt” for their food items at Pak’nSave on Wednesday with the hunt being live-streamed onto the green. Once they return to campus they will have one hour to make their dish. Entertainment will take place during competition cooking time with performances by singers, dancers, Pasifika and African groups, and potentially a knife juggling circus performer. Aiesec will also host a Global Village during the event, and there will be opportunities to purchase raffle tickets. Sam Immers, director and head chef of Stellar Kitchen, will judge the overall winner, with a People’s Choice Award giving the audience a chance to sample each offering. The grand winner will take home $500 to spend at Pak’nSave. WISA is a relatively new group on campus and hopes the event will encourage more members of the diverse Waikato campus to join their club.
WSU
EXPERIENCE – TE WHEAKO
The following are closed during the Teaching Recess: • Advocacy Clinics. Law Clinic will still run on Thursdays 12.30-2.30pm. • Kai Run • Level Zero will re-open on 7 September with new hours: 11am-3pm Monday to Friday. • No Nexus, but we will still take your lettuce! • WSU Handles My Package will still run during the break. Get your mail delivered on campus. Email
Live Roller Derby
admin@wsu.org.nz for application details. When: Sat 22 Aug 2015, 5:00pm–7:30pm ADVOCACY – ĀWHINATANGA Tauranga Skype Clinic
Where: Fraser High School, 72 Ellicott Rd, Hamilton Restrictions: All Ages General Admission: $10.00 Under 12 years: $2.00
Tuesdays 2-4pm
A live roller derby event hosted by the Hellmilton Roller Ghouls.
30minute intervals
Hellmilton Roller Ghouls (Hamilton) vs. Sulphur City Steam Rollers (Rotorua) Cash Only. Doors open at 4:30, first whistle at 5pm.
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NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles
SUDOKU
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EASY
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HARD
CODEWORDS
SLITHERLINK
Each letter in the puzzle is represented by a number 1 – 26. Crack the code to solve it.
Join the dots to create a single continuous
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loop. The numbers indicate how many lines
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TRIVIAL
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In the circus a funambulist performs which act?
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Which scientist was master of the mint
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must surround each number and the loop must never cross itself.
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and sat in the English parliament? Who voices Puss in Boots in the Shrek films?
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WORD TWIST
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40
N.18 / V.47
How many words can you make from these letters? The letters must touch horizontally, vertically or diagonally and cannot be used more than once in a word.
FILM
21
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1
Cooking with turmeric turns food what colour?
Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE
CROSSWORD
KAKURO
Solve the clues and fill in the words.
Fill all of the blank squares in the grid using only the
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numbers 1 – 9 so the numbers entered add up to the corresponding clue. You cannot use the same number
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Across
44. Pub orders (5)
12. Herr’s spouse (4)
1. Croquet site (4)
45. Remove from a
13. Cry out loud (4)
5. “Beat it!” (5)
manuscript (4)
18. Certain Halloween
10. In doubt (4)
46. Big name in flatware (6)
vandal (5)
14. “God’s Little ___” (4)
48. Quaker’s “you” (4)
23. Eastern ties (4)
15. Cousin of a raccoon (5)
49. Portfolio part, in brief (3)
24. “Beg pardon ...” (4)
16. Exceptional (4)
52. Artist Chagall (4)
25. Indian yogurt dish (5)
17. Rock and Roll Hall of
53. Rock and Roll Hall of
26. Go downhill, maybe (5)
Fame inductee 1988 (10)
Fame inductee 1987 (10)
27. Courtyards (5)
19. Abbr. at the end of a list (4)
56. Indian tourist city (4)
28. Rock and Roll Hall of
20. Biddy (3)
57. Twofold (5)
Fame inductee 1986 (10)
21. Elation (4)
58. Bed support (4)
29. Bona fide (5)
22. Government official
59. House votes (4)
30. Trig functions (5)
abroad (6)
60. Charger (5)
31. Avoid (5)
24. Long, long time (4)
61. ___ mortals (4)
33. Fast runners (5)
25. Fanatical (5)
9 14
3
43
54
14
3
40
47
10
13
9
37
44
42 14
31
34
42
9 12
36
38
12
30
33
35
40
14
29
32
46
7
23
25
28
41
more than once in a run (eg. 7, 1, 1).
SIMPLE PUZZLES FOR SIMPLE PEOPLE Wild animal wordfind
36. Cruise ship employees (8)
26. Hidden (6)
Down
37. Bang-up (4)
29. Like some veins (8)
1. Homebuilder’s strip (4)
39. Peel off (4)
32. None of the above (5)
2. Be in pain (4)
40. Star (5)
Buffalo
Leopard
33. They may be split (5)
3. Small songbird (4)
42. Novelist Jong et. al. (6)
Chimpanzee
Lion
34. “Cool” amount (3)
4. Colo. neighbor (3)
43. Took evasive action (6)
Cougar
Mongoose
35. Kind of lily (4)
5. Went up (6)
45. Wild Asian dog (5)
Crocodile
Monkey
36. Like potato chips (5)
6. Pigeon shelters (5)
46. Arab League member (4)
Eagle
Parrot
37. Hokkaido native (4)
7. Labored breath (4)
47. ___ Hills, in Burma (4)
Elephant
Porcupine
38. Dog command (3)
8. Chowed down (3)
48. Sort (4)
Gazelle
Rhinoceros
39. Narrow furrow (5)
9. Lose a baby (3)
49. Man, for one (4)
Giraffe
Tiger
40. Funnel-shaped (5)
10. Conciliatory (6)
50. Big laugh (4)
Gorilla
Warthog
41. Listen up (8)
11. Rock and Roll Hall of
51. A chip, maybe (4)
Hippopotamus
Zebra
43. Like flies’ wings (6)
Fame inductee 1986 (10)
54. Fully anesthetized (3)
41
3 PIZZAS
$
EMERGING LOCAL PERFORMERS
DRINK DEALS
WEDNESDAYS FREE
Q QUIZ UIZ
PLATTER FOR EVERY TEAM MIN OF 3 PER TEAM
STUDENT DINNER DEALS
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DEALS ON
Te Reo Māori (the Māori language) & Tikanga Māori (Māori protocol) Waiata (So ng ) & Poi/ ) g n i H a v k a a e (P erformanc ( Flax W e) ranga
Ra
International Students'’
Noho Marae Come and experience authentic M’ñaori culture with the WSU.’’
Fri 11th – Sat 12th September, 2015 Departs Uni at 2:00pm from Gate One Bus Stop Hukanui Marae $35 per person Tickets on sale Monday 10th August from WSU. Return time to Uni will be aprox 2pm. Email admin@wsu.org.nz for more information.