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6 October 2008

l o r n Eq uick!

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Editorial: a year’s worth of editorials By Joshua Drummond

The image above is what happens when you feed in your entire year’s output of Nexus editorial’s into a thing called Wordle. You can find it online at and it will create a pretty picture using the mostcommonly used words from any document. On seeing the picture my editorials created, I was horrified to find out that my most commonly used word is “like.” Apparently my pretence at meaningful journalism is merely a front for like, you know, a total valley girl. The image is a very accurate diagram of words I should, like, use less. I don’t have much to say this week apart from: • Read Page Eight. Issues of academic freedom mix with holocaust denial. Sound familiar? Well, this one has added Satanism! Probably the

most important, and definitely the strangest, Nexus story you’ll read all year. More as it develops. • We’ve got a handy Guide to Summer, in case anyone forgot how to Do Summer over the freezing and rainy-ass winter. • The mighty mighty clusterfuck in America. Something to do with the Worst Market Crash in History. Your kids will ask you about Black Monday, so take it all in while you can. I would have written an exhaustive analysis on it, but I’m exhausted. To much election-blogreading ruins your brain, apparently. • That is all. Next week: interviews with the Next Prime Minister of New Zealand. We’ve promised this all year, and now we’re doing it. • God I love this weather.

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dDub: GETTING MUSIC IN YOUR EARS Interview by Josh Drummond

Nexus caught up with dDub frontman and guitarist Derek Browne in time for an interview before he hit the road for the dDub Early Summer tour, which is coming to the Tron’s Flow Bar on October 11. Nexus: How’s it going for dDub? You’ve got a new album out? Derek: Really good ay, we worked our asses off over the summer and did a pre-release in April and we’re just releasing it now, with the bonus DVD of our seven music vids and some interviews and live footage. N: Your album is kicking arse in sales, but we don’t hear much on the commercial radio… D: The student radio is really supportive, but the commercial stations like ZM, The Rock, the Edge, they probably programme about one percent of the NZ bands out there. They’re not really interested in supporting it. It’s not just dDub, it’s everyone. [But] our style of music is about the live experience, but definitely, if more commercial stations played us more people would listen. We’re still quite underground, and I kind of like that to an extent. We just want everyone to be able to listen to a real wide variety of NZ music. N: I’ve heard nothing but good things about the live show… D: It’s more about connecting with the people and that’s how we connect with our people. We pack out venues, and we get more people to our shows. It’s all about the music, the crowd, and the live show. All that other stuff – TV, commercial radio, it’s all by the by. We love playing, we love giving people a wicked time so make sure you come along and get down with us.

N: Can you list a few of your influences? D: We’ve got a real broad range – from Stones, to Hendrix, to Rage against the Machine. We’ve rocked up our sound in the last few months, taking on a new guitarist. N: It seems like you came on to the scene a bit suddenly, but you’ve actually been playing and recording for a while now. How long have you been around, and what do you make of the success of Medicine Man? D: This is our second album – we released Awake at Dawn in 06, so we’ve spent the last two and a half years touring writing and releasing. Medicine Man hit the top 40 charts, which is quite big for us – but we released it in winter, which wasn’t such a great idea – that’s why we’re re-releasing it for summer. It’s been a slow, steady, kind of thing, people finding the album in their own time and their own way, and it’s quite nice, because it’s a slow, quiet way of building things up. This album is doing the same thing as Awake at Dawn, just kind of creeping up there. People are saying, “yeah, we love the album,” and then they come to the live show and say “oh my God.” We’re a lot more upbeat than


your average kiwi dub-type band, it’s all full on, cranking upbeat live music. N: Anything you’d like to say to the Hamilton fans out there? D: New Zealand’s full of such creative, talented people, and I would say, support NZ music. Go out and get involved. It’s a real big time for NZ music right now. I think it goes in waves, in cycles, and now it’s a really important time. Ten years ago, there were a quarter of the bands and gigs, and now it couldn’t be more different. How’s that? We’ve just become a lot more aware the quality of the bands has been a lot better, and the internet - downloading, iPods – has helped spread music around. So you’re cool with… how do I put this… piracy? I reckon any way you can get the music out there for people to have a relationship with, it’s great. Downloading is a great way to get it out, and fair enough you might be missing out on a few dollars, but if you’ve got your shit together and put on a good live show you’ve got nothing to worry about. You can’t fight it, so why not work with it? The main aim is to get music into people’s ears.

dDub will be getting their music in your ears with the dDub Early Early Summer Tour, which is coming to the Tron on Saturday October 11th at ‘Flow’ bar, 266 Victoria St Door sales are $20 ($15 presales from The CD&DVD Store) Students $15 door and presales Doors open 8.30 Support from Luke Thompson and Band

1. What are you plans for the holidays? 2. What’s the best thing about summer? 3. How do you feel about Rialto Cinemas being closed down? 4. What do you think about a 64 year-old headlining the BDO? 5. Where will you be on New Year’s Eve? 1. Get some money and go camping, and drink heaps. 2. Everyone’s in a happy mood and there’s a lot of half naked bodies around. 3. It sucks cause they usually have festival films there. 4. Fuckin awesome. Fantastical. 5. Not to sure – hopefully near a beach.

1. Work, chill out, have fun, BBQ’s and all the rest. 2. Beach, hacky, warm waters, sun. 3. Pretty ratshit, need more expression of the alternate art forms. 4. Basically WTF. 5. In the Bay of Islands somewhere.

1. Working full-time for Fonterra killing babies. 2. Jandals and bikinis. 3. I work for Sky City Cinemas so less competition for us (Um – SkyCity owns Rialto– Ed) 4. It’s all good if he can hack the pace. 5. Shaving my head for cancer.

1. Taking some time out to recharge the batteries. 2. The ladies. 3. Meh, don’t give a shit. 4. It’s going to be sick. 5. Rhythm and Vines.

1. Going to Gisbourne/ probably going to the Mount. 2. Few beers in the afternoon and a BBQ/ topless guys 3. I didn’t really go but I feel bad for the people who did. 4. I think it’s kind of funny/ I’ll be going anyway. 5. Rhythm and Vines/ the Mount.


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October 6 2008


Satanist neo-Nazis, and academic freedom, oh my! We couldn’t make it up if we tried. By Joshua Drummond A published, marked thesis that calls controversial far-right figure Kerry Bolton a “Satanist neo-

Bolton is a well-known figure in the New Zealand far-right community. He has been involved

Nazi” has been pulled from publication by the University of Waikato, without warning.

in both neo-Nazi and Satanist movements, and has published extensively, under his own name and using pseudonyms, on both topics. His writing is featured on the self-described “Holocaust

The thesis, published six months ago and titled “Dreamers of the Dark: Kerry Bolton and the

revisionist” Adelaide Institute’s website, whose founder and director, (as well as personal friend

Order of the Left Hand Path, a Case-study of a Satanic/Neo Nazi Synthesis,” was submitted as

of Bolton’s) Fredrick Toben, was arrested on October 1 at Heathrow Airport for holocaust

part of a Masters degree by Philosophy and Religious Studies student Roel Van Leeuwen. In a

denial. Toben is set to be extradited to Germany, where he has previously been convicted and

highly unusual move, the marked and published thesis was removed from the University Library

imprisoned for inciting racism.

and the University’s online publishing repository last week. Bolton has set up a website, titled “Dreamers Exposed” where he provides copies of his Neither Van Leeuwen or the thesis’ co-supervisor Dr Dov Bing were notified prior to the sudden

correspondence with the University. Bolton also corresponded with Van Leeuwen about the

removal. Nexus has established that no legal threat has been entered against either Van Leeuwen

content of the thesis.

or the University of Waikato – rather, the thesis was the subject of a mere complaint from Kerry Bolton.

Two things that Bolton deemed offensive – that he “raised his son in a racist milieu,” and “mistreated a brain damaged man,” (according to Bolton,) were removed from the thesis.

Bing told Nexus that the thesis was a “first-class piece of work,” and was externally moderated by other universities before being published.

A letter from Bolton to Vice-Chancellor Crawford, dated 27th August 2008, states:

‘The thesis was assessed by two senior academics from other New Zealand Universities,” Bing

“… I have little reason to be satisfied with the two amendments to the thesis that [Van Leeuwen]

said. “They both deemed it to be a first-class piece of research.”

has conceded. He claims that his sloppy, flawed research in (sic) satisfactory for MA thesis level. He claims that we have differences of opinion. As I have documented in some detail in my

Van Leeuwen told Nexus he was “surprised” to not be told the thesis was being pulled.

Statement and supporting documents to you, these are not ‘matters of opinion’, they are very

“I haven’t been informed or anything,” he said.

fundamental errors and slanders…

He said the thesis, which was “inspired” by former University employee Dr Dennis Green, had

This is to clarify to you that I am not satisfied with my initial letter merely being handed to him

received full-class honours, (a mark equivalent to an A,) and that it was accurate.

under the advice that he makes two amendments…”

“I unequivocally stand by my thesis,” he said. “There is nothing at all in there that’s defamatory

Elsewhere on his site, Bolton calls Van Leeuwen’s thesis “Zionist smear-mongering posing as

in any way to Bolton.”

scholarship,” and accuses Dr Dennis Green and Dr Dov Bing of “harassing” Dr Joel Hayward, who, infamously, wrote a controversial MA thesis on Holocaust denial. Bolton also states that

Nexus contacted both Vice-Chancellor Dr Roy Crawford and Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences

“Waikato University is also noted for its bigotry in hounding out a student, Hans Kupka, in 2000,

Dean, Dr Dan Zirker, for comment on the thesis’ withdrawal. Crawford’s office did not respond to

for being a German.”

repeated calls prior to deadline, and Zirker said that the withdrawal was a “confidential matter.”

More as it develops. Find out more about Kerry Bolton on page 13, including part of Nexus’ interview with him.

“It would be really inappropriate for me to comment,” he said.

Nexus contacted Kerry Bolton, who said he had been told “informally, sort of last week,” that the thesis was “up for [internal] review by the University.” “The University hasn’t been particularly communicative, so I don’t know what’s going on,” he said. He said that he had “made a complaint, and it’s being investigated,” but had issued no legal threat. However, he claimed “there are defamatory references in it… that were removed by the chap.”

Bolton claims there were flaws in the thesis’ bibliography, and said he had never written some of the articles attributed to him. He also claimed that he has “since dumped most of that stuff [those views referred to by the thesis,] and it’s totally irrelevant.” He said he had been involved in far-right organisations, and refers to himself now as a “radical conservative,” but denied being influential or a leader. “I wouldn’t call [the positions I have held] influential,” he said.


A Key event on campus

Facial surgery to ensure permanent smile suspected by Nexus By Grant Burns

National leader John Key spoke to a capacity crowd in the PriceWaterhouseCoopers building on Wednesday afternoon, giving his own 25 minute speech and 35 minutes of efficient Q & A. Key’s speech included his interpretation on the global financial crisis, what Labour has been doing wrong over the last nine years. “New Zealand has got to change,” he proclaimed. The man who would be Prime Minister dressed in a slick pin stripe suit with a confident lavender tie. The self-assured smile with which he presented the crowd as they entered never left his face during the whole speech. In the flesh, John Key came across as a humble, hardworking man with plenty of business sense and able to think on his feet – also encompassing a confident sense of wit and humour. One of the main points in John Key’s speech was the current global financial crisis and what this means to New Zealanders and our economy. “We are not immune [to the affects of Wall Street]” Key said. “[Wall Street crisis] it’s more significant than most New Zealanders might think. It is the most serious financial crisis in the last 100 years,” he added. Another key point in Mr Key’s speech was what New Zealand has to do to change, stop the brain drain, and compete in a “global world.” “New Zealand under-performs and could do a lot better because a lot of you are leaving,” he said. “We are becoming a giant educational training facility for Australia. One in four New Zealanders go to live overseas – because our wages are too low.”

Applause followed John Key’s speech. The floor was opened for the crowd to ask Mr Key on-the-spot questions. “Why not invest in free university education with conditions on us staying?” asked one student. “I worry about student loans, I really do…back when I went to university I accept I paid next to nothing for fees…but there’s got to be a balance between what goes into universities and what goes into tuition…while your grumpy you come out with a student loan, you’d be way more grumpy if you come out and Waikato Business school isn’t a worldclass facility, which it is…We’re not opposed to changes to student allowances, but we’re just saying at the moment we cannot afford threequarters of a billion dollars to get us there at day one. It’s about priority issues,” said Key. Another student asked: “Hey John, thinking about the US elections, I was just wondering, who you would prefer to work with?” which was received by enthusiastic applause from the crowd. “That’s the type of question that could get me into a lot of trouble,” said Key with a wide grin on his face. “I honestly think both have something to bring to the table. I think Obama would make America feel good about itself again…McCain is very pro-trade with New Zealand. He’s proven to be a good friend of New Zealand. I think either or would be fine – it’s going to be a fascinating election in my view,” said Mr Key.


WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD FILMS GONE? Not to Chartwell, that’s for sure. By Asian Reporter Chris Tan.

It has been a tremendous week of loss. The world lost the greatness that was Paul Newman, I lost my sweet awesome universe marble down to Snotty Pete and Hamilton City lost its go to art house multi-plex Rialto

dedicated to the artistically creative sector, it is unfortunately limited in its number of screenings per day. How this will affect the community, be it the odd group of savy film

Cinemas. On Wednesday evening, Rialto held its final screening (How to Lose Friends and Alienate People) and closed its doors forever to the public, thus ending eleven years of screening near dedicated alternative/festival films for Hamilton. So what does this now mean for Hamilton and the Hamilton culture? Movies that would normally be screened at Rialto will be moved to shown between the two remaining chain complexes of Sky City cinemas of Centre Place and Chartwell, which is a possible burden to those limited by transportation and a bonus to those that love to walk a lot. Alternatively, there is the charming Victoria Cinemas that while remains

students having money to go to the International Film Festival and looking cultured, to the general good decent folk who like their movies to rate from ‘pretty awesome’ to ‘not shit’ quality, well, it still remains to be seen. Far too apathetic to get an official statement from someone in the Rialto offices, I instead talked to Hamilton’s go to movie guru Richard Swainson. To misquote him, he said, “Hamilton’s community is now more culturally burdened without Rialto. But we’re still ready for the invading robot army.” Which this ‘writer’ agrees is coming, and we should all be ready for. Homemade lasers for the win.

It’s a lot less fuss with a Sunday bus If you enjoy sitting next to homeless and obese people By Grant Burns

On Sunday 28th September, Hamilton City buses began running their first ever Sunday routes with over 4200 passengers getting on board – for free. As a part of the new 12 Sunday bus services, commuters were able to ride for free on the first day. Reception was greater than expected with as many passengers using the Sunday services as they do the Saturday service– which has twice as many buses running. The new Sunday buses run on the Saturday timetable - which is hourly, and 12 different routes are in operation: Orbiter, Pukete, Dinsdale, Glenview, Nawton, Fairfield, Univeristy, Rototuna, Hamilton East, and Te Rapa. After an hour of sifting through the bureaucracy of Environment Waikato for a comment on new buses, Nexus spoke to Programme Manager of Transport Operations Bevin Dale. “We’ve chosen it [Sunday bus services] because the public of Hamilton wanted buses running on Sunday, so we’ve worked for it and now they’re here,” he said, in danger of stating the blithering obvious.

“It’s [Sunday bus services] an advantage for people who don’t have access to their own transport such as a car, to be a part of society on a Sunday.” Nexus also asked a regular bus-user about what they thought of the new Sunday service. “It’s a good idea and I’ll definitely use it so I can go shopping on a Sunday, so that’s pretty sweet,” said one Glen Hughey, who recently lost his driver’s licence. However, the Sunday services aren’t do only new bus operations going on in Hamilton. The Hamilton City Council has included public holiday services, increased the Orbiters operating hours, and changed the Orbiters path to travel through the Hospital campus. These new additions of Sunday bus services are a positive step towards a better public transport system in Hamilton, ultimately getting more cars off the road, relieving congestion, and giving access to all Hamiltonians. Under the changes, the Orbiter will now operate from 6:15am until 10pm on weekdays, and 6:15am and 8pm on weekends.


Hey Hey, My My: Rock ‘N’ Roll will never die! Godfather of Grunge to headline BDO ‘09 By Grant Burns

Finally, the wait is over and the rumours can be buried for another year – the official 2009 Big Day Out 1st announcement has been released. The Godfather of Grunge, a.k.a. Neil Young will be the headliner of New Zealand’s annual music festival on Friday January 16th at Mount Smart Stadium. Other supporting acts that have been released include: Prodigy, The Living End, The Datsuns, Headless Chickens, Elemeno P, Arctic Monkeys, Tiki, The Black Seeds, Luger Boa, My Morning Jacket, Bullet for My Valentine, and Cobra Kahn. The 17th annual music festival, the biggest in New Zealand, has been running since 1992, escalating from 9,500 attendances to 276,000 in 2007. Artists such as Metallica, Tool, Marilyn Manson, Rage Against the Machine, and Red Hot Chili Peppers, just to name a few, have been recent headliners of the festival. 2009 promises to be a spectacle for all the true and old-school bogans – keeping in mind Neil Young himself is 63 going on 64. Also, the likes of Prodigy should help to dig out some ancient, nose-pierced weridos.

3News Entertainment reporter, Kate Rodger. “Neil Young is an interesting choice; he hasn’t been here in 20 years. He should be good for the oldies. I’m a bit old school; I’ll be dancing with a glow stick in the Boiler Room watching Prodigy. Also, the Arctic Monkeys are a great choice; really great band to see live.� Tickets go on sale October 10th.


WHAT ON EARTH IS AN EPOA? An EPOA or enduring power of attorney is a formal document giving someone the power to act for you if you loose the capacity to make decisions for yourself. There are two types of EPOAs – one for your money and property and one for your personal care and welfare. You can appoint more than one attorney for your money and property but only one for your personal care and welfare. EVERYONE – young and old – should establish an EPOA ‘just in case’ you may need it one day. Forms are available on the internet but it is advisable to also seek legal advice. The University branch of Citizens Advice Bureau can give you information about the implications of this or other important documents. They have heaps of pamphlets and a huge database to help answer anyone’s questions. Visit them at the Cowshed from 1pm – 3pm daily during semesters or phone 8384466 extn 6622 or 0800FORCAB.

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Hermits unwanted

Notice arrives a bit too late, sadly. By Grant Burns

The recent ‘Hermit in the Park’ event which took place on Thursday 18th September and includes student’s binge drinking in cardboard boxes has caused a stir with the principal of Saint John’s College and concerned neighbours. “This note is to let you know that no permission has been given for this to occur & we do not want it to go ahead. The university grounds would seem to be the logical place for such an event. We will be advising the police of the notice and ask you that other arrangements are made,” said Saint Johns principle Ray Scott in an email. Unfortunately, Scott’s email seemed to have picked the event as occurring a week after the event had already happened. Nexus caught up with the organiser of the event, WSU Director Andrew “AJ” James. “The Hermit was a raging success once again as it has been

for the last 3 years. We had over 60 people there with half of them competing. We had no problem and cleaned up afterwards piling up all the bottles and cardboard boxes next to the bin. There’s no reason it won’t happen again next year, bigger and better, it’s student life at its best with Hermit in the Park.” No police presence was reported at the Hermit event. Nexus does not condone or encourage such behaviour, so we asked University Constable Nicholas Sicklemore his opinion on the matter. “There’s a time and place to drink alcohol and in public isn’t the best place. It’s better left to the home or a designated environment such as a pub.” As it stands, there is no liquor ban on the Waikato University campus.

Vault Big Damn Orgy – of musical history By Grant Burns

Before 1994, New Zealand didn’t have a steady stream of international music acts trickling through our borders – in fact; we had about two or three international concerts a year. Of course, all this changed once an unknown Sydney festival called the ‘Big Day Out’ managed to snare an unheard-of band called Nirvana to headline. This made fans turn their heads. From a measly 9,500 attendants for 1992, a massive rise in popularity saw 46,000 the following year, which also included shows in Melbourne, Perth, and Adelaide. BDO 1993 was headlined by Iggy Pop and Sonic Youth. However, it wasn’t until 1994, when New Zealand first stuck its fist in the air and ordered for the Big Day Out to come here (Auckland). Also in 1993, the inclusion of Gold Coast tour leg was accepted. This saw the audience rise again to 120,000. The first bands to play at the Big Day Out in New Zealand were Smashing Pumpkins and Soundgarden –The Ramones chose to play only for Australian audiences (bastards). As they say, the rest is history – music history. Thanks to the Big Day Out, New Zealanders have been graced from the presence of Rage Against the Machine (twice), Red Hot Chili Peppers, Marilyn Manson, System of a Down, Metallica, The White Stripes, and Coldplay – just to name a few. Without the Big Day Out, New Zealanders would be international musically famished. A lot of big bands see the BDO as a great way to 12

access their fans in places where they wouldn’t usually be bothered to tour (New Zealand). Also, having all these great international acts in one place on one day is a bargain, an experience, and music to any bogan’s ears. Of course, the Big Day Out isn’t all about the music. There are free carnival rides, miles of merchandise and weird gypsy outlets, and competition giveaways. You can also play the “guess what drug he’s on” game. This usually involves judging the size of a person’s pupils, watching early-peakers stumble, slip and crawl up and down the stairs, and of course listening to the jaw-gnawing, hand shaking weirdo next to you tell you his whole life story and why he thinks the world is so beautiful. For the first time in 2007, and again in 2008, the Big Day Out sold out – a capacity of 276,000. The bands which first provoked this surge were Tool and Muse, followed by Rage Against the Machine this year. So, after 18 years of stadium rock, the Big Day Out festival is going stronger than ever. Each year the bands get louder, bigger, and more diverse. Big Day Out continues to cement its place in New Zealand music history and always goes one better than the previous year – BDO 2009 well be headlined by a 64 year-old.

East Hamilton Police Burglary Report 22nd - 28th September 2008

Last week 13 burglaries occurred in the Hamilton East and rural areas. Their locations are shown on the map. There were five burglaries less than the previous week’s total of 18. As you can see on the map, there have been 3 burglaries in the Bermuda Triangle area near Knighton Road and Cameron Road involving University students. Last week offender(s) have entered a property and have gained entry into the rear garage, where a vehicle was stored. The garage and vehicle were both unlocked, leaving the offender(s) freedom to take their time and remove the car stereo and other valuable items. If you store you vehicle in a garage or on the property, than please lock it. If offenders can’t break into your flat, they are more that happy to take your car stereo. Another issue that has come to my attention is a number of student flats that have no locks on their laundry doors. Offenders are entering and taking frozen food from the freezer or fridge. If you have no lock, than you’re entitled to contact your landlord and get this fixed.

Please beware that offender(s) are still roaming around your property during the day / night, trying to find someway to break-in. Laptops, digital cameras and iPods are still on their shopping list of items to steal. Student flats are still being broken while the occupants are at home in another room or even asleep. If you manage to disturb an offender in the act, please call the Police on 111; we can use the Police Dog to track them. Information on how to protect your home is available from the East Hamilton Community Policing Centre on Clyde St. If you have any information that might help Police with these burglaries please call the University Constable, Nick Sickelmore Nicholas.

A bit more about Kerry Bolton, New Zealand’s infamous, self-described “radical conservative.” By Joshua Drummond Nexus has done some digging on Mr Bolton, and dirt is very easy to find. Apart

addressing, and that’s about as far as I’ll go. The thing is, you see is, surely,

from the transcript of our interview with Bolton, shown below, everything else here

anything to do with research and scholarship requires, you know, one to found an

is freely available on the Internet, and clearly identifies Bolton as the author.

opinion based on what one knows at any given time, and to leave your mind open

On whether he’s a Holocaust denier: Nexus interview transcript

to being proven absolutely wrong at any given time.” (emphasis added)

Nexus: “[Correspondence to the Listener magazine and the Adelaide Institute

Bolton on the Holocaust: from the Adelaide Institute website

website comprises statements from you that could be construed as Holocaust

“…we only hear fictitious blather about the supposed “Holocaust”. Why? Whose

denial.] Are you a Holocaust denier?

interests are still being served after all this time? Think!”

Bolton: “Uh, I’ve got an open mind on the subject.”

Bolton on whose fault World War Two was: from the Adelaide Institute

Nexus: “Okay, but what I’m asking is; would you describe yourself as a Holocaust



“German Jews were rounded up as enemy aliens, since their own leaders publicly

Bolton: “Oh no no. No. Not as such.”

declared “war” on Hitler the very year he achieved Government, 1933, at a time

Nexus: “What are your views on it then?”

when there were few restrictions put on Jews. The Jews, under Samuel Untermeyer

Bolton: “Oh, I believe that certain aspects of it can be questioned, as can any part

organised a world economic boycott to try and wreck Germany economically. Jews

of history.”

and their communist allies organised boycotts of shops that sold Germany (sic)

Nexus: “Specifically, in your letter to the Listener, you claimed that the gas

goods. People were beaten up by Jewish-communist thugs if they tried to resist.”

chambers at Auschwitz were insufficient to have gassed as many Jews as claimed.”

Bolton compares Adolf Hitler to Jesus: from the Adelaide Institute website

Bolton: “Mm.”

Everyone is out for themselves, all dance around the golden calf. Jesus drove

Nexus: “Would you stand by that statement?”

the moneychangers out of the Temple. The Pharisees had Him crucified. Hitler

Bolton: “Um, well, I’m not an expert on the subject. I thought it was worth raising;

drove the moneychangers from the German nation. The descendants of the same

I can’t even remember the context I wrote the letters there, but I… (trails off)”

Pharisees had him crucified, and are still doing so. In fact, the same criminal gang

Nexus: “It might be wise to. They’re still on the internet, and available.”

who thinks they’ve been ‘chosen’ to rule the world is crucifying our whole Western

Bolton: “Um, I can’t recall the, um… Well, as I say. The, er – I’m not an expert


on the subject but I think that, you know, questions have been raised that need


Txts to the Editor! Nexus now has a non-new TXT-in service! Send Letters to the Editor - via text - to 021 235 8436. They can be about anything – but if it’s something in the magazine, so much the better. We’ll print the best ones, so get texting! Texts should include a name to attribute them to. Text of the week wins a mystery prize! Come into the office to claim it.

Don’t forget: You can send Busted pictures in by pxt! Send us your best snaps of you or your mates in Busted-type situations to 021 235 8436. Can you do it? Yes you can!

Cullingworth reply #1 In Reply to Justin Cullingworth piece of work in the nexus in edition number 21 A Racist country or a racist people??? Something you should consider the next time you write into the nexus all high and mighty. Look at history and i am sure you find the answers to your questions you place so high on your list. Yes Māori have a prez that can speak for us and have a voice in the university. But did you consider how many voices your race hold over this university. We are no different to you,, only from what i can tell you expect that all pakeha people have the preferential treatment. So for once in our time, we have something that you don’t. Well actually no we don’t, because that right there are scholarships for everyone whether you’re black, white, or Chinese. Take a look at history and what do you see? Do you see Māori going over into Britain and claiming that all that land is theirs? That under the law of the Māori queen you are expected to do as she says? NO, No you don’t. Take a chill pill, part of the reason those scholarships have been created is a result of what your British queen has demanded. It’s not like you have nothing, and get nothing. Our people have being fighting for years to claim back our lands, our rights, and our language. . You claim you’re not racist, but would you say i am being racist right now?

You also claim that Māori are using the Treaty of Waitangi (not waitange) as a weapon, But how many times do you see the government using that same document (you think we should get the fuk over) that was written 150 years ago. We being the Māori people find your comments offensive and say that no, it is not us using the Treaty as a weapon, but fighting for what is ours, what we consider our home, our land. We don’t want your money! We just want what we had? If you had any real understanding of New Zealand you would understand that the reason we have a Māori version and an English version of the national anthem, is because we are a recognised bicultural country. We have three official languages, and are one of two nations that have bi-lingual national anthem. It is not about how well people sing either version but why we sing both versions. Without MAORI what do you think New Zealand would be?. Wake up!!! We are part of this country we form the other half. We have no privileges, that Treaty you think we should get the fuck over, is what makes our country tick, it is why we are here as one. New Zealand isn’t racist! It’s the people within New Zealand! And for the record we don’t claim money for the people you killed we claim money to regain our honour and protect what we have left!!!!! From Anahera.


PH 07 856 6813 14

FAX 07 856 2255

ADDRESS Gate 5 Hillcrest Road



Cullingworth reply #2 I would like to comment about your rant in the latest Nexus issue.

LETTERS POLICY: Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page, serious or not. Letters

Firstly, the reason there is a position on the WSU for a VP Maori is because the land on which you come to university on is owned by the Tainui Iwi, and in saying that, the Maori culture must be incorporated into the running of the University, therefore there is not only a Vice Chancellor of the Uni, but there is also a Pro Vice Chancellor Maori. These roles have been set up within the Uni ‘to provide executive leadership in supporting the University to meet its Charter, Investment Plan, Vision and Strategic Plan commitments - with specific reference to the Treaty of Waitangi and Māori advancement.’ Hence, the need for a WSU VP Maori position.

should be kept under 250 words and be received by Wednesday 5pm on the week prior to publication. We’ll print basically any letter, but the editor reserves

‘Just for the record’ the Warriors game ‘in Auckland’ which you were talking about and was supposedly free, was not true. If you had done your research properly your would have found that the game was free to any person

who turned up to the gate with their New Zealand, Samoan, Tongan, or Fijian Passports to Gate B of the ANZ Stadium, and if you had found that out, you would also have seen that the ANZ Stadium is actually in Sydney, Australia not Auckland, SO you could’ve gone, if you have a NZ passport. Secondly, the Treaty of Waitangi has had a big impact on the history of New Zealand. If it wasn’t for that document, New Zealand would not be what it is today. The land in which you have Migrated to would still be in the hands of my family! So if you don’t like the fact that the Treaty of Waitangi is still effective today, then MOVE OUT!! However, I would just like to thank the Editor for publishing such a bullfrog letter! It was a good idea on your behalf to publish it, as there is going to be a lot of backlash on this topic! Peace Out! Joe!

the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. We won’t correct your spelling and grammar either, so it’s up to you how much of an idiot you look like. Pseudonyms are okay (all correspondence must include your real name and contact details – they won’t be printed if you don’t want them to be) but if it’s a serious letter we’d prefer you to use your real name. Send letters to nexus@

To Justin Cullingworth I don’t know if you were just looking for a fight but you are one ignorant, imbred peice of shit. Instead of wondering why Pacific Islanders and Maori’s get scholarships maybe you should worry about how they recieve unfair treatment in area’s such as work environments, housing, and medical treatment in this country, how the media portray our minority ethnicities as a ‘them’ catagory, and also how the majority of our primary and secondary school educators teach in a way that tends to only validate the majority ethnic group (European) and excludes

our minority groups. So maybe they do deserve more benefits than the European of this country because we get alot more than you realise. Im guessing your a European and Im guessing that you havn’t been stereotyped, judged or treated unfairly due to the color of your skin as alot of our darker skinned ethnicities in our country have. So before you start your bullshit, racist rants have a think about how good you’ve got it being a white skinned person in this country. You fuckwit. K. Abbot

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It continues…

This comes up with some… frequency

Ummm, the subject of this email says it all. He says he isnt “racest” but then the rest of his letter was pure racism. i think there were some points in there that needed a rant... but we got that last week. I am a white average student. When i look through the scholarship notices i get just as angry at the amount of scholarships for masters, honours, women, and clean green freaks as i do at any maori scholarships, and even that isnt very angry. If those are the areas that people are willing to put money into trusts to support then we have to get over it. How many white average students at waikato are going to spend that money researching new and exciting ideas? My guess is it will just free up some booze money for thursday nights at

Dear Nexus There’s a constant at the university and it isn’t the poo smell. It is in fact the incessant rantings of one Jeff Hawkes, who seems to always be on the verge of getting student radio onto the 89.0 frequency. This sounds like a great idea, because the 88.1 frequency Contact is currently on is pretty hard to pick up in some places and the playlist on Backbeat sounds like it was built by a 16 year old Fraser High student on a crack bender. The only problem is Jeff’s idea will never come into fruition. There aren’t even enough DJs on 88.1 to make it work. Why would changing the frequency to 88.1 make it a smooth ride for student radio in Hamilton? I’d rather there was a station with poor coverage

101, thats what i would do with it... but it kinda defeats the purpose of the SCHOLARship. Almost wish Justin had gone so far as to say there shouldnt be a maori party, then there would be some really angry responses... douchebag Ben Gilbert

Yes, it is. Jus txting re thos woodwork letters tht u printd last week. Thos two screwd up xtremists need 2 c th othr views b4 spewing out their shit. Bt woteva its up 2 u wot u prnt. – H. M. Murdoch

I have to say, for an MP visiting a university, he wasn’t very tactful. He mentioned next to nothing about what he was going to do for us students and then when asked about his policies only boasted about their plans for paying for medical student’s training, a little bit idiotic really because he was speaking to a university that doesn’t train medical students.

It is Justin cullingworth? Or kuntingworth? U self aclaimd non-racist barstid! Yeah ur bulsht letter sumz ur bulsht self up! Y dnt you use ur own advice and get da fuk ova it! Yo jus ranting bout jakshet u idiot! Got a gud mind to wak u wif da tree dat useta b n won tree hill! Dum kunt! – key-leigh

Under cover of night on a very sunny day John Key was swept onto campus by the biting cold southerly wind. I heard about the visit only one day before the event for some reason but still composed my question: “Mr. Key, The Honourable Hone Harawera once referred to you as a ‘smiling snake,’ perhaps due to your vast wealth or desire to privatize healthcare. How do you plead?” Didn’t get to ask the man though. The management bldg. in which the speech was held was crammed to well beyond fire code regulations and a bulbous and eery silence prevailed. I was predictably reserved due to the police presence and the John Key show made it omnipresently clear that it was not interested in lighthearteded improvisation.

No, it’s awesome actually!!!!!! Dragonball z is stupid why do people miss lectures to watch that crap – pokemon fan


Hi there, Just thought i’d put my two cents in for the next magazine based on the elections this year and John Key’s visit to the uni.

Key times #2

Someone needs to waterbomb helen clark wearing a gorilla suit. that would be awesome – anonymous chimp

Plus, the student union doesn’t own the frequency. We sold it years and years ago. It’s like me going to my family home in Otorohanga and demanding it back after twenty years absence, based on the argument that I owned it once. Jeff needs to get a life and start aiming for targets he can actually reach. Maybe if he built Contact 88.1 into a decent sized dog it would work, rather than the whimpering puppy it is at the moment. Time to move on Jeff. No one’s tuning in to you. StudentFist

A Key issue

Ranting in text speak makes it sound stupid, somehow

And it will get you arrested

and no DJs than one with excellent coverage and no DJs.

So after finding out that National had no plans for students I went exploring and this is what I found on nz/default,795, Maybe a minority party could have some kind of effect if they got enough seats in parliment from our votes. From ANONYMOUS

So did the ‘Post Haste’ Courier service vans filled with security officers which circled the management block like deranged sharks. As myself and my mate furtivly sipped our whisky on ice after evacuation from the melee, we wondered where the country was headed. Brian P. Walsh (Also Josh the late night cut-as Hunter Thompson related text was merely a commentary on how texting is eliminating pinnache and any vestige of dignity from the average Joe writer. The Doctor would not be pleased.)

Couldn’t agree more with the text thing, but I’m not sure they had any pinnache in the first place. Panache, maybe : ) – Ed.



By Joshua Drummond, Grant Burns, and Courtney Mellor Does all the sudden sunlight confuse you? Do you emerge blinking from lectures, your eyes scalded by the nasty natural light? Does your pale skin crisp and darken when exposed to solar rays? Never fear! Learn how to deal with the expected – and unexpected – terrors of the Hot Months, with the ultimate Nexus Guide to Summer! Many Hamilton students have the option of escaping to their home towns when summer rolls around. But if you’re one of those poor unfortunate souls who has to spend summer stuck in the Tron, we have some suggestions for you: • Swim, but not in the Waikato River. Hamilton can get very hot. A membership at a swimming pool – the Uni has one – is a brilliant way to keep you and your friends cool. If this can’t be arranged, a simple children’s paddling pool in the yard will help the flatties wet down excess heat, and may also be used for jellywrestling. Swimming in the Waikato River will cause you to die, so don’t. • Play a tonne of video games. One good way to stay cool is not go outside. Fortunately, video games prevent both boredom and sunburn. There are some brilliant games on the way: see the Phat Controller page for some and the Internets for many many more. • Learn an instrument. A key way to impress the opposite sex is to be able to whip out a gee-tar (or even a jazz flute) while sitting around the campfire, and belting out a tune. Recommended learning: Ben Harper, Jack Johnson, Split End and Crowded House, Sublime, NZ reggae and dub classics, Bob Dylan, Flight of the Conchords. Not recommended: Nickleback, James Blunt,

anything you hear on The Edge, and Led Zeppelin (unless you have a really great voice.) • Create a work of art. Hamilton, as has been pointed out, is a great big grey blank canvas. Come up with some witty street art, and spread the graffiti love. Note: this is probably illegal. • Get a summer partner. If you’re single in the Hamilton summer… it sucks to be you. Rectify this immediately. Find someone local, single and semi-legal who is also stuck here – the 7th form of the local girl’s and boy’s high schools will suffice – and shack up with them. Once the summer is over, they can be married, or dumped with a minimum of inconvenience. • Learn Italian. This is very easy. It is a well-kept secret that Italian is not an actual language. All that is required to speak it is a mastery of gesticulation and the ability to add the suffix –eeeya and -a on to every other word you say. All together now: flail wildly while saying “It’s-a meeeya, Mario! Lets-a play!” Now go to an Italian restaurant and place your order. • Take up a religion. Religion’s big secret? They’re all the same! All they require is suspension of disbelief, and, sometimes, common sense, rather like watching a superhero movie – only the movie is your entire life. Luckily, you can switch religious belief on and off like a light switch. We recommend taking up Roman Catholicism and combining it with Italian, as described above. • Start a band. It doesn’t matter whether you can actually play an instrument or not. Hamilton is always short of Exponents covers band, and because the Exponents were pisspoor excuses for musicians, their songs are very easy to play. Gather some mates, and pub fame and sing-alongs will soon be yours. • Dig a hole. Hamilton is not, as some might uncharitably describe it, a hole, but it could

certainly do with more of them. Holes provide valuable shade and dirt. Filled with water, they may be swum in, or used for mud-wrestling matches. Filled with sharp faeces-smeared stakes, they may be used as burglar and politician traps. Dig one deep enough, and you might find treasure or a lost kingdom. There are literally tens of uses for holes. Why not dig your own? • Build an Ark. There is a 1-1 chance that a large meteor will hit the Earth at some point in the future. There is a roughly 3-1 chance that the meteor will strike water. Therefore, we may reason that all the people not building arks in the summer are stupid. Don’t fall into the common trap of not building arks. They mocked Noah, but now he’s universally revered as the Saviour of Earth and all the dinosaurs. • Turn in a Sociology paper. It can be about absolutely anything and make as much sense as a Dan Brown plot, include any number of made-up words, and no one will care, or even notice. Indeed, it will probably fit right in to the existing sociological academic spectrum, and you’ll soon be flown out to conferences all over the world, lecturing on Feminist Cyborg PostMarxist Family Guy Theory by way of Focaultian Discourse. • Start and play an obscure sport. Nexus recommends a number of obscure sports that are yet to see a Waikato following. They are: Bear baiting, Brockian Ultra-Cricket, Calvinball, Quidditch, Dwarf-tossing, and Lacrosse. Quidditch is preferred by wizards, Lacrosse by P-addicts, and Brockian Ultra-Cricket by anyone from the fifth dimension or higher. Calvinball is the easiest sport to start, as there are not actually any rules. • Eat out. This requires no explanation. • Go to the beach and/or a summer festival. Possibly the most sensible explanation here. We’ll see you there. 19

The biggest and loudest music festival New Zealand has to offer is a very easy place to get lost in and confused by. The Big Day Out is held at Mount Smart Stadium on January 16th with Neil Young headlining and The Prodigy, Arctic Monkeys, The Datsuns and others supporting. And here’s some tips if you’re going: • Slip, slop, slap, and wrap – even bogans aren’t immune to sunburn and heatstroke. • Stick together with your mates and always agree on a meeting place – you’ll be surprised how easy it is to get separated. • Decide who you want to see and when they are playing so you can get a good view – there are over 4 artists playing at one time in different places at the BDO, so choose wisely. • Make sure you wear a comfortable pair of shoes – trust me, jandals, or bare feet, are a bad choice for large crowds and mosh pits. • Never eat, drink, snort, or inhale anything from someone you don’t know – BYODrugs. • Always have a condom handy. • Not a good idea to carry large amounts of cash. • Make sure you have accommodation and transport sussed before you go – buses are much easy to use rather than bringing your car. • Choose your toilet times carefully because they always have a long line – for guys I recommend you use the bushes if you only need to slash. 20

Here we are ladies; some fun stuff to entertain you during the long summer holidays…

the unique Designer Collection Show is being staged at the iconic 1000-seat Edwardian heritage building Isaac Theatre Royal. The Designer Collection Show is the official fashion event of the New Zealand Cup and Show Week and the first major highlight of the

This very queer beauty pageant which is now in its fifth year and has donated oodles of money to charities like NZAF, Body Positive and Positive Woman and has become a ‘must see’ on the Auckland calendar. The beauty pageant involves most of the 50

San Francisco’s neo-vintage, pop raconteur/ chanteuse Uni and her Ukelele hit the NZ stage this November on her first tour to the South Pacific. A singer/songwriter for over a decade now Uni (Heather Marie Ellison) competes for the limelight with her prima donna ukelele ‘Sally Luka’ in her new experiment. Uni’s lo-fi folk-pop first album ‘My Favourite Letter is U’ dropped in 2006 with a great response and her EP ‘I’m On My Way’ introduced her rock side with hits like the title track ‘Twinkle Twinkle’.

week. It will present Summer ’08 and Winter ’09 collections by 11 of NZ’s top designers including Nom*D, Huffer and Sakaguchi.

cast males dressing up as girls and representing countries or planets, all with one mission, to take home the coveted crown.

“The overall effect is the musical and sartorial equivalent of sucking on a jawbreaker while drinking whisky straight from the bottle.” San Francisco Weekly

Ellerslie will feature 1- on-course races, live simulcast coverage from Flemington, the Melbourne Cup Style Award for the best dressed male and female, Lindauer Powder Room (sniff sniff?) and a ‘birdcage bash’ after the last race.

Uni and Her Ukelele

This performance would make a rather splendid night out with a group of girlies and a bottle of bubbly and, best of all, it’s free! When: Thursday, 20 November Time: 8pm Where WEL Energy Trust Academy of Performing Arts, Hamilton Style Christchurch – NZ Cup and Show Week If you’re heading down to the South Island to find a replica of the man off the Speight’s ads, old or young, here’s an event you can head along to distract from the lack of males which is a prestigious event on the Christchurch calendar. Style Christchurch is a 80’s glam themed fashion parade in a dramatic theatrical setting,

When: Thursday, 6 November Time: 8pm Where: Tamaki Heritage Village Lindauer Melbourne Cup Day Start off your summer holidays at this bubblyinspired race day event at Ellerslie

When: Saturday, 15 November Time: 8pm -1045pm Where: ASB Theatre, Aotea Centre, Auckland Central Cost: Tickets vary in price depending on where you sit $69 - $35 Even if you don’t consider yourself a fag hag this could be a very entertaining event to head along to, something a little zesty…. David Beckham and LA Galaxy The Auckland Regional Council has confirmed David’s second visit to NZ with his LA Galaxy team at Mt Smart Stadium.

Tickets can be purchased online www.elerslie. or over the phone (09) 522 3824

A bit of eye candy if you can’t find any boys at the beach… and it’s free!

A good opportunity to get really boozed around swanky people and not feel bad about it (Thanks Lindauer)

When: Saturday, 6 December Time: 7pm Where: Mt Smart Stadium, Auckland Central

When: Tuesday, 4 November Time: 11.30amd – 8.30pm Where: Auckland Racing Club, Auckland Central Cost: Free!

Girlfest 09

Queen of the Whole Universe Here we go; this one is for the fag hags or for those to consider themselves to be ladies

That’s right is a whole 3 day festival just for girls…. But it’s in Australia. Still, if that sounds like a bit of you check out the website and find out for yourself what’s really going on across the ditch. Merry summer!



Beer and Flash Clothing at the ASPA awards

A journey of madness and mayhem to the heart of the Nexus team Dazed and confused with a woman on each arm, I strolled into the Performing Arts Centre – tuxedo and all. Bright lights, Grand pianos, and bacon wrapped scallops – what is this place? I thought this suppose to be a student journalism awards? Students don’t sip champagne and listen to chamber music. Or do they? I was soon to find out that they do, meaning that I was drinking champagne and feasting on meatballs without even realising it. I soon spotted my fellow clan of Nexites sitting together like a scene out of the Godfather. As I slowly stumbled towards Don Drummond and the others, I realised all the other student magazine journalists conversing in suits – could they be planning a hit on Nexus? No way, I thought, not on the day of my daughters wedding/the ASPA Awards. So instead I walked over to the other journalists and introduced myself – know your enemy I thought. However, I was soon to find out that these suit-clad lads and cocktail dressed lasses were just the same as me – here for the free booze and a good time. So, as the booze continued to flow and the girls on the next table beside me became more and more attractive for some reason, the dinner was served – this was definitely not made by students. “Mmmm,” my sedated taste buds screamed as I walked up to the buffet. Chicken, beef, lamb - my favourite animals all spread out on a platter for me. I quickly stuffed my plate and ran back to the table to stuff my face. Typical of anything organised by students, something went wrong. In this case the MC

for the night “Bomber” of Alt TV didn’t even show his ugly bald head to present the awards – jackass. This left the awards ceremony in limbo, everyone began to panic, the exits were sealed shut, “What are we going to do?” someone shrieked. Happily, Clive Lind of Fairfax rose to the occasion, seizing the mic with both hands to present the awards. All I could hear was white noise as the other awards were being given out, until I heard the words “Nexus” and “3rd Place” together in the same sentence. Nexus designer Talia Kingi bought home the 3rd place for best cover design. “Great variety of style from sparse to nicely detailed, but still retaining a consistency between covers. The ‘Fantasy’ issue cover is an idea pulled off really well… I like how the text on the covers say as much as they need to without overloading it with too much information,” commented the judge, who turned out to be former Nexus designer Matt Scheurich. They say lightning never strikes twice, well, how are scientists going to explain how Nexus gained another 3rd place, for best columnist? Fergus Hodgson gained the bronze for his insightful column The Big Picture”. Here’s what the judges thought. “I like the arresting openings of Fergus Hodgson’s work. It’s solid stuff and I think it can be even stronger, given a little more colour.” But that’s not all loyal Nexus readers. Our editor, the great Don Drummond, gained a 2nd equal in the category of Best Educational Series – what ever the fuck that is. The judges said: “Hurrah for Joshua Drummond.

Although you play the funny guy (and play it really well actually) your writing is the best of all the entries. Thank you for steering clear of unnecessary big words and hyperbole. You clearly understand the issues you’re tackling and you editorialise without preaching. Your realistic stance on universal loans and $10 Billion Dollar Debt Day (in Issue 6) is a case in point – rational and refreshing. I hope you’re chasing a career in journalism, and that mainstream media are reading your editorials. We’ve got a lot to learn.” Breaking news: unannounced on the night (because it hadn’t been judged in time) Nexus came 2nd in Best Unpaid News thanks to one Art Robinson – or is that Art Focker? You decide; either way, it was pure Art. Herald writer and judge Simon Collins had this to say. “I gave maximum points for “answering all questions the story may raise” for the story on “Student claims bar staff assault”, but knocked two points each off the other two stories on this score because I really didn’t learn much about the issues involved in either the closure of the two film courses or the Race Relations Day festival (although perhaps these issues were covered in other stories in the same papers?).” After all the awards had been presented, I couldn’t remember where I was. Somehow, I managed to crawl to the bar for another drink and ask the barmaid what was going on. “Nothing” she said. “The ASPA Awards are all finished.” Had I been asleep this whole time or simply conscious without thought? Or even drunk? No time to think, I thought, off to the pub. So, I grabbed my two beautiful interns and made out into the night. 23

(Deep) Heat Four Previews By El Watkins

Knights of the Dub Table Made up of several students from the Wintec Music School, Knights of the Dub Table are a six-piece creating an original fusion of dub and drum ‘n’ bass, with a uniquely Kiwi flavour. Of course this could mean anything so just come down and make up your own damn mind.

The Sheriffs The Sheriffs are a young band playing psychedelic rock ‘n’ roll and having a killer time doing so. Complete with brooding organs, the band also features possibly Hamilton’s best attempt yet at channeling the late Jim Morrison. Maybe something good, maybe something bad…

The Dusk The Dusk hail from Fairfield College and enter the band experiments fresh from competing at the recent Rockquest. Playing a mix of Dylanesque tunes that include an array of instruments - your requisite guitar, drums, bass, plus organ, saxophone, tuba and kazoo and even more - The Dusk will definitely be worth keeping an eye and an ear on.

One Fat Man Possibly Hamilton’s biggest exponent of genre-bending beats, One Fat Man has been described as both ‘like a slow motion somersault in a glass building’ and, slightly more perplexing, ‘thinly veiled Christian propaganda’. One Fat Man is the moniker of composer/producer/ musician, Jeremy Mayall. Be there on the night to make up your own inconclusive and incomplete epigram that attempts to describe and compartmentalize the man. Heat Four of the Mammoth Band Experiments is going down on Thursday October 9, so get in and see the best local music has to offer! Who will be Hamilton’s Five Grand Band? 24

Pink Parade By Jo

The Waikato Students’ Union needs your help to hold a Pink Parade as part of Breast Cancer Awareness Month! To be held at 1pm on Wednesday the 8th of October, from outside the Student Union Building it will be a display of pink and a showcase of the designs from our Body Painting and Wearable Art Bra Design competitions. Enter the competitions to be into win one of many prizes from Rodney Wayne, Bic, Moxie, Healtheries, Cool Charm and M&M’s. Register at the WSU for the competitions and for more information. Everyone else who wears pink on the day to support the parade will get a free funsize Pinky!

After the parade there will be prizegiving outside S-block with pink cupcakes and opportunity to purchase pink Breast Cancer Foundation bracelets and ribbons. With 1 in 9 New Zealand women being diagnosed with Breast Cancer at some stage in their life, this is a great campaign to get behind and should be a lot of fun. So start thinking about your most outlandish design for the Body Painting or Bra design competition and tell all of your friends to come and support you in their pink clothing!

Voting: Did you? By Whetu

Did you make your vote count last week? By voting in the WSU elections? Well if you didn’t you have another year to think about it. On that note commiserations to those who did not get in. I am writing to encourage all of you my fellow students to get involved; or have some kind of an idea what the WSU does. Come and be a volunteer? Come and annoy, harass, hassle or pester us about delivering services and representation for you. During the elections one of the thoughts that came to my mind was “continuity.” 1. The state or quality of being continuous. 2. A continuous or connected whole. 3. Mathematics: the property of a continuous function The threat to the longevity of the WSU is that the organisation changes from year to year. And if the WSU is to make positive long-term in roads for students it takes more students being involved


date: saturday 11 october WHERE: gate 7 hillcrest road sign up at the wsu office or download an entry form from teams of 3

Rachel Wark

Are you run down, hungry or really in need of some money for that unexpected expense that crept up on you? This is where the Waikato Students Union can help. The WSU holds a small fund to provide financial assistance to students whose continued attendance at University is threatened by unusual or severe financial hardship. If you are experiencing such difficulties, go into the WSU office located in the Student Union building or go onto the WSU website ( and download the hardship application forms. The WSU is here for the students; if our students are in deep financial strife, we want to help. 25


DEPARTURE 10am FRIDAY OCTOBER 17 Departing: Waikato Management School car park, Gate 10 Destination: Waikato styles, with four compulsory pit-stops circling the mighty waikato Major prizes for; Best Dressed Team, Best Themed Vehicle and People’s Choice Awards REGISTRATIONS CLOSE FRIDAY OCTOBER 10


Send notices to before Wednesday, 5 pm. Placing notices is free for students. We don’t always have much space, so get in quick! Notices cannot be any more than 75 words. We will not accept handwritten or non-electronic notices or dictation over the phone – that’s stone-age shit. If you (somehow) don’t have access to email or a computer, come into the offices and use one of our computers to type up your notice. Ta. Oh, and we hear that personals ads work terrifyingly well, so give that a go as well – fun for everyone involved.

Random Stuff Engineering student to help develop simple prototype, Prefer 3rd year plus but if your on to it you will do. Easy cash to right person Txt Kim on 0272822730 Wanted: anybody with a small puppy (like bichon friese/ shih tzu/ maltese/ pomeranian etc) to organise puppy play dates at the park. My poor little puppy needs a little doggy friend to play with sometimes. 4 Sale: Anybody want some curtains? Really good condition. listed on freeloader and trademe. $10 or highest offer. lb51@waikato. Multicultural flat/home looking for flatmates - discount over summer Nov-End Feb and long term stays. 2x Fully furnished double sleepouts with Kitchenette avail. Single Rooms $110.00. Quick 2min walk to uni - includes all expenses Phone/Internet/Electricity/Gas Furnished rooms available from early November onwards. Please txt or ph Vicky (027) 4213205. Overseas students most welcome. Pay for room only so if someone leaves price does not alter. WE WANT YOU!! there is a sunny room available in a cute flat which currently has 3 existing female flatmates. all are easy going, tidy and sociable! Rent is $105 p/w including expenses eg. phone, power and broadband. food is seperate. 5mins walk away from warehouse complex and uni. off street parking + a lemon tree. ph/txt: Erica on (07) 859 2930 or 027 697 5332 The property list for next year is now out! Visit the accommodation office or www. to view all 150+ listings available. Student Rent is 100% FREE for

ALL users. Create your own listing to find a flatmate today!

two other girls. Call or text 0273351967 or 8568547.


2 FLATMATES WANTED! Rooms for summer.

Summer flatmates wanted! For a modern (only 2yrs old!) and large house close to Uni, Warehouse etc. 4 out of 5 bedrooms fully furnished. House fully furnished. Rooms available from 15th Nov until mid-late Feb 09. $120 p/w INCLUSIVE of expenses (rent, power, white ware, Wireless net, gas, phone, air cond.) Contact (07) 8583247 or text 027 4133 922 if u want to know more! 2 Storey, 4 bedroom modern townhouse on Cameron Road, 2 minute walk to uni. Double room, 2 Bathrooms. Double carport and small outside area. $115 a week which includes rent and power. Food is seperate but can be negotiated. 2 Current 19 year old female flatmates. Easygoing and enjoy socialising. If interested, text or call Jay anytime on: 027 320 3503 FLATMATE WANTED room available end january. Large 5bdrom house, 2bathrooms, double garage, 5min walk to uni and shops. flatmate to live with 4 girls preferable in 1st 0r 2nd year of study 97$ a week not including expenses. Must like to have fun and party in weekends. Pleasee contact 0277241918 Flat mate wanted over summer! CHEAP RENT!!! FULLY FURNISHED ROOM! Will leave brand new queen bed, draws and desk in room, nice brand new house, broadband, good size room, two bathrooms, gas water, heating, dishwasher, friendly/ neighbours/all students, two minute walk to uni. Will be living with

Early Nov onwards. 2 decent sized rooms available. Fully furnished house (except rooms). Warm and sunny house on Old Farm Road $87.50p/w.Flat mates are very friendly and easy going – 2 females 20 and 21 both students. Call or txt Alexia 0273298741 Flatmate wanted over Summer Room available now 2 Greensboro Street Off street parking 1 minute from Uni Two weeks bond & $95 pw (negotiable) Call / text 02102293528 Room for Summer! Nov 1st onwards. Fully furnished sunny room: large double bed, large dresser, book shelf, cupboard, and access to hot water cupboard. $90p/w includes power; wireless broadband is negotiable. Food is done seperately. House is very warm in summer, on corner of Nelson and Clyde. You will be taking over my garage space if you own a car : ). Flatmates are very friendly and easy going- a 22yr old female and two males aged 25 & 27. Contact Tess 0273340978 or 8582642. New site out to help flatties Ulive has taken the idea of amateur videos from sites such as YouTube to create a venue for those looking to explore the world of flatting by posting free online videos to market flatmates or rental properties. Please check out Ulive’s About Us video or contact them on for more information.


BAND PROFILE: BLACKTOOTH Think Hamilton. Think Heavy Metal. Think….Blacktooth. In my opinion one of the mainstays of local Heavy Metal, you might be surprised to know that Blacktooth have only really been around for a few years. Their original incarnation started in 2005 and consisted of Olly (Guitarist/ Soul Shattering Lazer Axes), Dan (Vocals/Unearthly Grumble Guts) and Matt (Bass/Bowel Quivering Insect Swarms). They were later joined by drummer Kane who has since left the band to continue his musical career in Christchurch, to be more recently replaced by drummer (and Restrained Percussive Seizures) Jared (Ex-Carnage). Readers of this column surely don’t need to be told that Blacktooth are mainly known for Thrash Metal style, although apparently since Jared has joined the band has moved towards Death (but aren’t we all? Hehe). On their website they site influences such as Pantera, Slayer, Death, Lamb of God and Cephalic Carnage. They’ve shared the stage with many of my favourite Kiwi bands including Metal Tower (new album out now), Slave Cadaver, Aethea, Sinate, Tainted and Bloodletting as well as a couple of Aussie ones I’m fond of too like The Berzerker and State of Integrity. They are one of the hardest working bands in the Waikato, and that’s saying something considering how many hard working bands we have

here…and yet every time I see them they’re drunk or on the way to getting boozed! Every Blacktooth gig I’ve been to I’ve been pissed as fuck and had an awesome time. Some of the more memorable moments are Blacktooth sharing the stage with Matt Sheppard from Sinate doing a cover of Domination and the gig we had at the WSU building for 20/20 which had me in drunken fits of metal madness. In a time where Hamilton gigs seems to have regular low attendances…I’ve never been to a Blacktooth gig where the crowd weren’t up and moving. And the best bit? They’re always right up the front for any bands that precede or follow them, getting drunk and moshing their asses off – which is just the kind of attitude you want from true Metal believers! Their album “The Unholy Reign of Metal” still gets regular plays on my stereo with the classics “Demon Soul”, “The Atheist” and “Shitting Blood” being my favourites. Stay tuned for their new album – a review will hopefully be in Nexus real soon. Check out their website at and for photos of the last gig of theirs I went to at Ward Lane check out STAY BOGAN AND KEEP SMILING THE BLACKTOOTH GRIN!

Dear Agony Art People have been spreading rumours about me. One is that I’m gay. Another is that I have the AIDS virus! What can I do to stop these rumours! Greg S

Dear Greg S Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to stop these rumours! Trying to do so will only result in you seeming defensive and thus ‘guilty’ of these things. Address every query regarding these rumours calmly and deny them. Don’t let anger get the better of you at any stage. In the rumour situation, anger equals guilt. What you really want to do is to get even with these punks when they least expect it. If you can find the source of the rumours, go to their house and have sex with their mothers! Who’s the gay one now, eh? And if you do actually have AIDS, then so do their mums! It sounds crazy, but it’ll stop rumours about you for the rest of your natural life. People will look at you and say “Let’s start a rumour about that guy” and they’ll be all like “No way man! He’ll just have sex with your mum and give her AIDS”. So, in short, don’t get angry. Get AIDS and have sex with someone’s mum.


Dear Agony Art I like this boy at my work but he’s about twenty years older than me. How do I get a shot at him? GingerSpaz Dear GingerSpaz There’s no way that inter-office relationships should ever be attempted. If it works, then you’ll just mess around at work and probably get fired. If it doesn’t, then you’ll stop going to work and get fired. If it works for a little bit and then fails, one of you will go to work with a Stanley knife and start poking people with it. All this is beside the point. You’re a ginger. Do you really, honestly think in your heart of hearts that any boy is going to want you to have a shot at him? I don’t know if you’re aware of the stigma attached to having ginger hair, but it’s going t stop you doing a whole bunch of things with your life. I don’t think you can vote north of Christchurch. The army is definitely a big no-no: you’ll be a beacon for enemy fire. Last, but certainly not least is marriage: no one wants to risk ginger children.

First and foremost, the people at WAND are gauging interest for running a JNCIA course over a week of the summer holidays. For those who don’t know what JNCIA is, it’s an entry level networking qualification from Juniper Networks (comparable to the CCNA from Cisco). This is a great way to get hands-on networking experience from people who really know their stuff, and if you have any aspirations of getting a technical job with Telecom, Alcatel-Lucent, Kordia, or some other telco/ service provider, I strongly recommend you take this course. Email ben@ if you’re interested. Now, onto the ASPAs. It rocked. Except for me the next morning, when I realised oh too late that me + Chardonnay == bad. Hangovers aside, I really enjoyed it, and I hope that it’ll be equally awesome next year. Being the photography geek I am, I had my camera. And despite being incredibly intoxicated, I managed to take some decent photos with it, which you can find on this week’s classy busted page, or at http://www., which will not work properly in IE 6. And so here is where I venture to nerdiness. I’m one of those people who won’t release something until it’s exactly how I envisioned, or at least decent to the point where I like it. Which is exactly why it’s now months since I started writing code for my photo gallery. In

designing my website, I’ve always upheld the concept that it should be easy enough for my mother to use. Design-wise this isn’t hard, just use decent (bigger than small) sizes and everything else somehow falls into place. But technically, making something consistent under all circumstances is incredibly difficult. I write in valid XHTML. I use compliant CSS. I use the most rudimentary of JavaScript, and use libraries (which are designed to be crosscompatible) wherever possible. So why is it that even the “better” browsers aren’t compatible with each other? I’m puzzled why Safari, Firefox and Opera all render things differently, when all three (3) are supposed to be a better, more standards-based web experience compared to Internet Explorer. The only explanation I have for it is the fact that users of said alternative browsers are more likely to run a newer, less bug-ridden version, and hence the kinks will be worked out in time. Firefox almost forces updates upon users, Apple tricks them into downloading it, and users of Opera are mostly developers, who love new software. And yet here’s big Microsoft, who won’t even put IE 7 into the last XP service pack, despite IE 6 being more than 7 years old. People like to drive new cars, they’re safer and have more features. So why is it 40% of the world is still driving a shitty old commodore?

Blair Munro is just ripping off Maddox Ordinarily, this column is filled with 400 words on whatever I think of at the time of writing, which explains the general lack of humour. But not today, no, today I have actually thought about what I want to write. It probably won’t be any funnier though. I call it “Who the fuck are you, and what the hell have you done to my language?” I’m going to start with the word “like.” I am unhappy with this word. The word “like” can be categorised as a noun, a verb, an adjective, an adverb, a preposition, and a conjunction, and a couple of other grammatical categories, but this does not mean the fucking word should be in every sentence! Look at the people around you. If the jibba-jabba coming out of their mouths sounds similar to this: “So, I was like at Britney’s house the other day, like, and Todd was there, and he like gave me a Woodstock, and I got like really drunk, and then we like went to the Outback, and I like picked up…”

that difficult. People, don’t look at me in that tone of voice, that shit up there is unisex; I know too many males who are guilty of the same auditory crimes as females. Using “like” in speech like that is a sure sign of someone who is unable to speak properly, and you should make an effort to direct them to the nearest facility which performs CAT scans. Puns are dead, and you killed them. Movies for children are chock full of them. Why? To teach infants the subtle nuances of wordplay? Fuck that, when are they going to release Casper the Friendly Ghost: Sarcastic Edition? Sarcasm is much more useful than a pun. It truly defines your character. What’s the first thing somebody says when they make a pun anyway? No pun intended! Oh hahaha, you’re so witty. You’re such a master of the English language that this shit dribbles from your mouth on its own. As I said, sarcasm is more useful than a pun, provided you know how sarcasm works. Nothing backfires harder than when someone makes a “sarcastic” remark which is not at all ironic or witty. Except maybe one of those “moral” vegetarians who wear leather.

Then that person is an idiot. Move away from them. Here’s an idea, think about what you want to say, and then say it. Two phases, it’s not


Last Saturday night was a disappointing end to what was an enthralling late-season run for the New Zealand Warriors. The team overcame the poor start to the season that was largely dictated by the loss of their best forward (Steve Price) and best back (Wade McKinnon) to injury to battle back and scrape into the finals in eighth place. From there they showed that at full strength they are among the top four or five sides in the NRL. They are still missing one vital ingredient that every championshipwinning NRL team needs: a quality halfback or five eight. This isn’t a new problem where the Warriors are concerned, they haven’t fielded a match-winning half since Stacey Jones retired. Purchasing Wiki and Price provided the Warriors with serious leadership

Let’s hope one of these two turns out to be a superstar because the Warriors will always have enough firepower up front and out wide to be competitive with the best, but until they add a quality half to the mix they will not win the premiership. Manly were too good for the Warriors on Saturday and while the result of the grand final is not known at the time of writing it is difficult to see a depleted Melbourne side which is clearly coming to the end of its run defeating them. Even if they manage to win I think there is little doubt that we are witnessing a changing of the guard in the NRL. The Melbourne Storm’s dynasty is fading and we are about to enter a period of Manly dominance.

credentials and no one could argue that they haven’t had a significant part to play in rebuilding the culture within the club, but buying them also meant there was little room left under the salary cap to acquire a decent half. Now that Wiki and Logan Swann have gone the cash has been freed up. But for 2009 the Warriors have once again put all their halfback eggs in the rookie basket, buying Melbourne Storm youngster Liam Foran and Brisbane Broncos’ five eight Joel Moon.

The Storm has scouted impressively in recent seasons, giving Israel Folau, Billy Slater, Cameron Smith, Cooper Cronk and Greg Inglis their big breaks in the NRL. All have become superstars of the game and as such their talents now demand a much larger pay cheque than the Storm can possibly afford. Expect to see many of the players who have made a name for themselves at the Storm move to other clubs in the coming seasons. If the Storm are to maintain their dominance they will have to put their scouting talents to work and unveil a new generation of superstars.

Hermit in the Park Review! By AJ

Well, well, well, the dramas surrounding the Hermit this year is a first but in no way did it hinder the exceptionally epic event on the 18th of October. Due to the limited supply of cardboard boxes in the Hamilton catchment area it was a mad rush over the other side of the river to get the integral ingredients for the event, and the start was in fact delayed to 6pm. The process of choosing boxes was done by lining up the competitors in a line and choosing the best (worst) dressed in order. It was a simple case of best dressed, best box. The less you were wearing, the more you were rewarded. Because of the crowd of wanna-be hermits and the incredible size of some of the boxes, doubles and triples were put in the larger of the forts. Once the 30 or so participants had modified their boxes to suit, the hermits were told the rules and advised to leak any bodily fluids before retreating into their boxes for the next 60 minutes of their lives. As aficionado and legitimate referee of the 4th annual Hermit in the Park, it was weird having all the luscious lawn and room to move around in 32

during the hour of hell. Another privilege as referee, FIREWORKS! With roman candles galore and literally sitting targets, it was going to be a field day of sorts for AJ, and take advantage of my powerful position, I did! It seemed like the competitors didn’t have what it takes to do what they are told and within 10minutes there were many ‘box shots’ and some entertaining liquid output via the Fox n’ Clyde hermit box. When darkness drew over the circle of students, balls of fire were a regular pleasure to the eyes of the enthralled spectators. At one point, a competitor fired from within his box at the crowd of lookers-on and many having to stop drop and roll out of the way. With many a spew, burn, and giggle, the Hermit in the Park was a raging success and will be bigger and better for next years 5th annual event. To all those disgusted from the neighbourhood, its student life at its best and will continue to happen as long as I may live. Long live the Karn!

Ultimate summer games There are a host of games lined up for summer releases that I can’t wait to get my hands on. Some are out in weeks, others in months, but they all have two things in common: they look wonderful, and may prevent you from getting skin cancer. Except for DS games, which you can play outside. Mirror’s Edge Published EA, developed by DICE Avaliable on 360/ PS3 This game looks like the true evolution of the first-person genre. Think parkour in a clean/dystopian future with added guns (if you want to use them – you don’t have to,) all from the first-person perspective. If that sounds dizzying, check out some of the videos online. They’ll either enthral you or leave you suffering motion sickness. Happily, I don’t get motion sickness and I absolutely love how the game looks, with sharp, clean visuals and a wonderful design aesthetic. If the writing and story end up half as sharp this could be on a par with Portal. Little Big Planet Published by Sony, developed by Media Molecule

Have you ever had problems? Of course you have. Everyone has problems. Every single person has some serious issues, but of course the degree to which we let them define us is what matters. That’s why we have drunks, nerds, tortured artists, jocks, goths, bankers, sluts, players, player haters, people that care too much, people that don’t care at all, and everything in between. People also have shit to deal with. ‘Shit’ being the catch-all noun of everything with discardable value. Linguistically the word is the primal essence of what it describes. It slides off the tongue, and sticks to the end of the sentence – greasy and worthless, and ultimately unpleasant. It’s interesting that there is a societal taboo on expressing such a primal idea. No-one wants to be reminded how much shit they’ve got around them. Take money for instance. Most people consider it a problem, on some level. How do I get enough? How do I get more? A lot of people consider it shit. Here’s a problem: my Bank just let me know today about a dishonour fee for a transaction. Fair enough, except they are only telling me now that they took it out a couple of days ago, and have updated my balance to reflect that. Except a few days ago is when my original transaction was due to go through, which has now failed because I only had exactly the right amount in there before hand, because of a previous dishonour fee last week which I was only informed about two days ago. I have no other money because I took

Exclusive to PS3 Luckily, I don’t have to wait to actually play this. Someone I know is one of maybe two people in NZ in the public beta. So I’ve already played it and can say it’s awesome. I can’t say much more, because of a nondisclosure agreement put on all the beta testers, but if you own a PS3 this will be a must-get. You get to create your own levels and publish them online, for adorable voodoo doll-ish characters to play in. The closest thing ever to an infinite game, this should be the time-sink of choice for gamers everywhere when it comes out. Rock Band (2?) Published by MTV, developed by Harmonix For Wii, PS3, 360 God damn you, MTV, for not bringing this out here already. I still really want to play Rock Band. Problem is, according to the morons at EB who I’m not sure are functioning humans, the release date isn’t entirely known yet. (The Internet tells me it’s December.) Rock Band 2 is already out in the States, for God’s sake! So, the point of this one is: don’t buy Rock Band if Guitar Hero 4, which sports similar controls plus a music generator, comes out first. Punish them!

a night off work, and the only other source I can get to in time is the money I have earmarked for materials needed to pass a course this semester. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a conundrum. Like problems, shit only has as much power over us as we let it. You can elect to not care about shit. You can actually elect to not care about money. You can get pissed off and stressed out by being fleeced by the people in charge of looking after your money; or you can get over it. I’m pretty sure my bank has its own problems. So, as people are defined by their problems, where do we find solutions? How do we get rid of our shit, and stop fucking around? For a start, stop looking for solutions. Then stop looking for problems. Sad because you think you’re ugly? Try smiling. Raging because your city isn’t pretty? The top street artists in the world would kill to come to a canvas as blank as Hamilton. The street art capital of New Zealand is the perfect logical progression from the blank concrete capital. Imagine the tourism to a place that’s different every time you visit? People need proof though. Can’t get your art on a public wall? Lease a building and give yourself permission. Go drive through the back of town and you’ll see what I mean. Barton St. or nearabouts could be the line between up-town and art-town. Everyone wins.


In Memory of Paul Newman Whenever a major star ascends to the heavens their careers are invariably reduced to a few key roles. Michael Caine used to make this point repeatedly when attempting to defend the amount of crap he made in the 1980s: that in the long run no one will remember the rubbish. With Paul Newman, thankfully, there isn’t too much substandard work to overlook. As a young lad I do remember seeing what is probably his worst film, one of the very last of the 1970s disaster movies called “When Time Ran Out”. Newman pretty much phoned in his performance, mugging against bad blue screen special effects whilst all

Newman the actor is another matter. When miscast he could often be downright dull. Two unhappy collaborations with important directors were particular disappointments: “Torn Curtain”, Alfred Hitchcock’s fiftieth feature, is a cold war thriller devoid of thrills; “Quintet”, Robert Altman’s pretentious attempt at science fiction, is just a mess. On the other hand when Newman was well cast there was no one better. Three key 1960s leads are his lasting contribution to the cinema: the moody pool shark ‘Fast Eddie’ Felson in “The Hustler”, and the title roles in “Hud” and “Cool Hand Luke”. None of these parts is entirely sympathetic, indicating perhaps that Newman worked best when playing against his astonishing good looks. Hud, in particular, is a monster, an alcoholic womaniser who seems to take perverse pleasure in destroying his father’s legacy.

the time thinking of the paycheque. A few years earlier he had co-starred with long term rival Steve McQueen in the hit which had helped initiate the whole cycle: “The Towering Inferno”. It really wasn’t very good either, but it was fun. Newman the star could entertain with the best of them. “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid”, “The Sting” and “Slap Shot” coast on the Newman charm, his effortless charisma turning minor material into popular classics.

That Newman was denied an Academy Award when at his height is a sad reflection on how Hollywood treats its artists. Ironically awarded an Oscar for his solid performance in “The Color of Money”, Martin Scorsese’s sequel to “The Hustler”, Newman maintained his high standards in the last half of his career, finding dignified, age-appropriate parts of interest. He could still astonish at times, whether underplaying for Merchant Ivory in “Mr and Mrs Bridge” or side-stepping easy sentiment in Robert Benton’s character study “Nobody’s Fool” or cast against type as a mafia don in “Road to Perdition”.

The House Bunny

Starring: Anna Faris, Colin Hanks Reviewed by Art Focker

I’ve seen a lot of movies in my life, so it was only a matter of time before a few of them started to blur together into one movie. Normally this happens when I can’t recall all the facts from films and they become one star studded epic in my minds eye. What bothers me is when two movies I remember well are mashed together on the screen into one movie which is not as good as the originals. House Bunny is the first time I have seen a movie like this. It is half Sydney White and half Sorority Girls. Both these films are original concepts (despite Sydney White being a retelling of Snow White) and both have their good points, so theoretically The House Bunny should be twice as funny as these movies are by themselves. Unfortunately it’s not true. This movie is funny and I did enjoy myself, but it doesn’t hold up in comparison to those two films it has leeched from so, in order to give this film the review it deserves, I shan’t discuss Sydney White or Sorority Girls. This is despite the fact that they totally are awesome movies for teenage girls and horny university boys respectively. 34

The House Bunny is about 29 year old Shelley (played by the on again/off again Anna Faris) who finds out she is too old to remain living in the Playboy Mansion. Homeless and woefully unprepared for life outside of the Mansion, Shelley stumbles into a sorority populated with clichéd losers and sets about making them popular. It sounds awful and it kind of is. Luckily Anna Faris (that goofy, sexy girl from the morbidly long lived Scary Movie series) is in it, along with a healthy cast of both young and old actors. Hugh Hefner is excellent as himself. I never thought the old horn dog had an acting bone in his body, but I was proved wrong. That said, Kendra, Holly and Bridget are totally abysmal. I have been mocked by almost everyone I know for having gone to see this movie. They haven’t seen it though. I have. I went during the school holidays and I sat with children and we all laughed. Sure, there were jokes they didn’t get there were jokes that I didn’t get, but we all laughed about the same amount. Now, go and see this movie! Just look out for the school holiday kids!

Title: The Invisible Road Author: Elizabeth Knox Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers

Price: $32.99 Reviewed by Kelly Badman She is one of New Zealand’s most imaginative, dramatic and successful authors for adults and after reading The Invisible Road, the first novel by Elizabeth Knox I have had the pleasure of reading, I can see why. Set in the early 20th century, in a place called Southland (a New Zealand-like country), the story revolves around “The Place,” a mysterious land that only a select few “Dreamhunters” can enter. Our heroine is Laura whose father was the very first dreamhunter. Following in his famous footsteps, Laura collecting dreams from “The Place” and performs them at The Rainbow Opera Theatre to slumbering patrons.

Title: Worth a Detour – New Zealand’s Unusual Attractions and Hidden Places Author: Peter Janssen Publisher: Hodder Moa

$29.99 Reviewed by Kelly Badman Going for a tiki-tour around the country-side is as kiwi as Watties tomato sauce and mince pies. Noted New Zealand travel writer Peter Janssen has compiled the perfect book to guide you around the nation’s more obscure landmarks and places of note. Worth a Detour highlights the unusual delights around the country that you wouldn’t find in your standard tourist manual but are treasure troves for the canny traveler to discover – and avoid the usual tourist hoards. Each scenic delight includes a brief synopsis, contact and opening hours details (where

But the dreams are not merely beautiful images to enchant the public. Laura discovers they are messages concerning the nature of humanity. She must figure out what “The Place” is, and what the dreams caught there are trying to reveal. This stunning novel is a dichotomy of delight and darkness; Knox conjures up stunning imagery as she described “The Place” and the dreams and nightmares captured there. But this beauty and inventiveness contrasts starkly with the sinister skullduggery of those who are exploiting “The Place” and its treasures. The Invisible Road (which if you can’t tell, I have fallen completely in love with) was originally published as two separate novels, Dreamhunter and Dreamquake. Repackaged as one seamless novel, this novel, a fantasy world for grownups, will leave you gasping – in anticipation and bewitchment.

appropriate) and instructions to find these hidden gems. The author promises “something for everyone” from the collection of old Morris Minors in Haumoana, Hawkes Bay to the New Zealand Malt Whiskey Company in Oamaru. Here in the mighty Waikato, Janssen has uncovered some home grown charms that are probably well known and well loved by locals but probably of by the general public. Highlights include the beautifully iosolated and scenic Marokopa waterfalls near Waitomo, the Te Awamutu museum’s True Colours exhibition exalting the town’s most famous sons, Neil and Tim Finn and Tokoroa’s “Talking Poles,” beautiful carvings doted throughout the township. With the summer holidays coming up, now is the perfect time to grab a copy of Peter Jenssen’s “Worth a Detour” and plan your next trip around Aotearoa to take in some of these hidden jewels off the beaten track.




Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace (Columbia) I had my doubts about listening to this one as I peeled off the unnecessary plastic wrapper enclosing the CD case. America and punk rock have never mixed particularly well (exceptions Dead Kennedys, Iggy Pop and the Stooges and Black Flag), and only really gained any sort of traction once it was dumbed down for the masses. The Offspring flirted with the idea of being famous in that early 90s period when rich kids decided punk was cool and started piercing any fraenum they could find on their pubescent bodies. Having said all that, as a pure pop rock group with punk influences, The Offspring do a pretty good job of entertaining the masses. 24 years of surviving in the music business is nothing to sneeze at and certainly learns you a thing or two about a thing or two. The Offspring still write annoyingly catchy melodic refrains with beefed up harmonies and a rhythm section that I would not like to try and sing above. Rise and Fall is certain to please the old skool fans but also had cynics such as I going “ooh that was phat” hither and thither. At times it sounds like prior to going into the studio they skimmed through their old 80s record collection and found that Duran Duran would sound really cool rocked up and punched out, other times it sounds like they smacked out Weezer for one of their soft surf numbers. Place that alongside the standard pop punk fodder you’ve become accustomed to and the result is The Offsprings 8th album.

Only By the Night (RCA) I have been watching the rise and rise of these sons of a preacher man out of the corner of my eye for several years now. Like a lot of the critics I have never been fully convinced by their garage tinged rockabilly n city slick roll, dissembling southern drawl and uncomfortable comparisons with the famously formulaic Strokes. Though I still don’t quite believe the poor little husky hick sulky sounding vocals, this album has gone a long way to converting me to an almost fan of the Kings of Leon. Like a young man finally getting comfortable with his strange hormonally transformed body, Kings are making the adjustment from pub touring and prelude to the main attraction band to bona fide stadium fillers in their own right. New-found confidence oozes from every track here as the live sound gets translated perfectly to the studio, no mean feat. There are times when you close your eyes and can easily imagine yourself in the middle of a huge field, VIP at a Kings of Leon command performance with an audience of one and the soundman knows exactly what your ears want to hear. At the risk of alienating the target market I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that with Only by the Night the Followill brothers (and cuzzy) have been influenced by Bruce Springsteen (Dancing in the Dark, I’m on Fire), a whole slew of 70s Southern rockers including the influential Allman Brothers, The Band and 80s ballad rockers in general – Queensryche for example. This is a good thing by the way. But I still don’t get this your sex is on fire stuff. Is that meant to be a good thing? Cos it sounds bad.

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RECOGNYZ 08 - The Hamilton Youth Awards With Elemeno P headlining the stage, Recognyz 08 is set to be big folks! More than ever youth in Hamilton are getting involved in some great things and this year we’ve partnered with ZM to put on an awesome gig to celebrate the Hamilton youth awards with a bang! Fresh from their LA champs, hip hop dance crew Supremacy will be joining Elemeno P. Fri 10 Oct 2008 Cost: $10, $15 + BF Time: 7pm-11pm

Where: Clarence St Theatre, 59 Clarence St Alice and the Velvetty Teacup – Dancers wanted Alice and the Velvetty Teacup - dancers and female chorus members wanted for Burlesque Extravaganza - must be confident dancers and singers. Message us (at the email provided) or phone for further info. Sun 28 Sep 2008 Time: 4pm - 10pm Presenters wanted for Pecha Kucha Night Vol 2 Pecha Kucha is a presentation format for creative work originally devised by Astrid Klein

and Mark Dytham of Kein-Dytham architecture in Tokyo Japan. Presenters still wanted. Mon 03 Nov 2008 Cost: $7 Time: 7.30pm start Where: Wintec Hub events centre, Wintec The Cemetery Club Three Jewish women, long time friends, meet at the cemetery every month to visit their husband’s graves, but things are about to change. A witty and poignant play directed by Louise Willis. Sat 27 Sep 2008 - Sat 11 Oct 2008 Cost: $25 show only, $50 dinner and show, $20 concs and $15 preview (26th Sept) Where: Riverlea Theatre, Riverlea Rd, Hillcrest


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6 October 2008 Visit Freetext your name & address to3676or visit a PostShopor call 0800ENROLNOW (0800367656)for an en...