issue 21

29 September 2008

LATE EDITION WSU ELECTION RESULTS

STREET ART: THREAT OR MENACE? QUEER WEEK 08 ASPA AWARDS

FEATURES 18-23 The Eye of the Beholder

REGULARS AND RANDOMS

Grant Burns investigates Hamilton’s underground art scene and the fine line between public art and public nusiance

02 WOOOOO 04 Editorial 05 Low Five 15-17 Lettuce 34 Notices 35 Flash Medallion’s Puzzle Page 36 Magic 8 Ball 37 Sports Thoughts 37 Agony Art 38 Boganology 101 38 The Nerdary 39 A River Runs Through It 39 Sarcophagus Rex 40 The Lectern 41 Phat Controller 42 Book Review 43 Movie Review 43 Moving Pictures 44 Citric 45 Gigs 45 Garfield Minus Garfield 47 BUSTED

23-25 Coming Out in Queer Week It’s Queer Week, and we have some queer stories to celebrate, courtesy of ASKEW and Nikko

26-29 The Band Experiments - Reviews and Previews!

Carl Watkins covers the Band Experiments heats One and Two, as well as previewing this week’s event! Go to it!

NEWS 8-13 Elections, ASPAs, a thing, another thing I forget the name of, New WSU club, John Key to visit campus, Wilson Weturns (Again,) Cop Report, Vault, and the Nexus Haiku News

Editor: Joshua Drummond (nexus@waikato.ac.nz)

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS

Design: Talia Kingi (graphics@nexus-npl.co.nz)

PUBLICATIONS 2003 LTD, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR, OR

Advertising: Tony Arkell (admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz/021 176 6180)

ANYONE. TEETH ARE STUPID AND I WISH I HAD AN ICEPICK SO I COULD DEAL TO MINE

Assistant to the Editor: Grant Burns (news@nexus-npl.co.nz) Music Ed: Carl Watkins (toezee@gmail.com)

WANT TO ADVERSTISE WITH NEXUS?

Books Ed: Kelly Badman

EMAIL nexus@waikato.ac.nz OR admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz OR call 07 838 4653 OR 021 176

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NEXUS IS LOCATED AT Ground Floor, Student Union Building, Gate One, University of Waikato, Knighton Road,

Contributors

Hamilton

8 Ball, AJ, Vitamin C, WSU, Carl Watkins, Chris Parnell, Burton C. Bogan, Nick Sicklemore, Dawn Tuffery, Kelly Badman, Jed Laundry, Dr Richard Swainson, Josh, Andrew, Talia, Matt, Grant Burns,

PHONE: 07 838 4653

Mammoth, HCAC, Flash Medallion, Art Focker, Gian Perrone, Blair Munro, Nikko, Kirsteen

FAX: 07 838 4588

Moffat, everyone who was at the ASPA awards

EMAIL: nexus@waikato.ac.nz POSTAL: Private Bag 3059, Hamilton

Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA) Oh what a night!

Ow. The Aotearoa Student Press Association awards were the day before yesterday and some vestiges of my hangover are still kicking around.

Most of the headache seems to have moved into one of my teeth which means I’m going to have to see the dentist, which I hate, and I’m writing this on a Sunday, which I’d much rather spend not writing.

We delayed Nexus this week so we could get the ASPA Awards and WSU election results in to the magazine without delay, if that makes any sense. The WSU elections attracted even more votes than last year, 1217 to be exact. That’s around 10 percent of the student population.

Depending on how you look at it, this is either awesome or pathetic. It’s more than have voted in the last decade (or so I hear) which is great, and congratulations to anyone who took part in the democracy and voted.

On the other hand, 10 percent is crap. Local body and district health board elections get higher percentage rates. Oh well, it is going up.

At this rate, by 2080 something like half the students will be voting in WSU elections, and most of you apathetic bastards will be dead. Voters, of course, will have been granted immortality, with the decisions they helped made shaping history in both big and small ways. The General Election is coming up soon and I had better bloody not have to tell you to vote in that. It’s ever so important, so in an upcoming issue we aim to feature in-depth interviews with all New Zealand’s party leaders, to give you a shot at an informed vote.

(Self indulgence begins now) ASPA Awards: We got some. We got a third in Best Columnist for former columnist Fergus Hodgson (cheers) and a third in Best Cover for current designer Talia Kingi (you’re so awesome.) I got a second equal placing for a category I didn’t know the meaning of, Best Education Series. All I did for it was send in several vaguely education-themed editorials and forgot about it. Otago University’s Critic deservedly took out the coveted Best Publication award. I would say they are the Listener of student magazines, if they weren’t so much better than the Listener is.

But the actual awards weren’t really the point (although we wouldn’t say that if we’d won, I bet.) The best part was the fantastic black-tie dinner put on at the splendid Performing Arts Centre, the free booze, and the booze-facilitated hob-nobbing with student and mainstream media journalists. A huge thank you to everyone who turned out, especially Fairfax’s Clive Lind who saved the day when our MC, Bomber, opted not to show up, and to the Waikato Times editor, Bryce Johns. Also, cheers to the WSU, Oranga, all the ASPA members, the Nexus staff, and most of all, the volunteers. You’re all utterly fantastic.

If anyone wants to join us, particularly if you want to write next year, we can always do with people to write news, features, columns, random articles, reviews, anything. It could be you getting an ASPA award next year, so if you’re keen, email nexus@waikato.ac.nz. That is all for now: I’m off to visit Doctor Aspirin.

1. Do you think it is okay to creatively deface political advertising billboards?

2. What should be done with the Wintec Wall?

3. What is art?

4. What colour best describes you?

5. If you were a graffiti artist, what would your pen name be?

1. Yeah sure, they shouldn’t cover Helen’s airbrushing.

2. Let the students do the painting 3. Whatever Phil150 says it is.

4. Rainbow 5. El Courto

1. Yeah, what respect do our politicians have for us?

2. Not sure, something useful should be done, advertising.

3. (Repeats question) Not easy to answer. I don’t know.

4. Black 5. R.M.C

1. Yip. 2. Put the Avengers all over it.

3. Visual feelings 4. Black 5. Cash

1. Yeah, it’s entertaining. We changed a ‘Pick Rick’ sign in Tauranga to read ‘Lick Dick’.

2. Professional graffiti designs 3. It’s an expression of creativity 4. Blue and purple.

5. Mellow

1. Hell yeah 2. Psychedelic artwork.

3. I think it’s a portrayal of reality taken out of context.

4. All of them 5. Melon. Fuck anything. I’m not a graffiti artist.

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NEWS

September 29 2008

ISSUE 21

news@nexus-npl.co.nz

“I think it’s a win for the democratic process. I think it’s encouraging to see some new faces on the board and the return of some old faces. It’s a good mix”

And the winner is…!

All bow to the new WSU

By Grant Burns

After entire weeks of electioneering, the results have been cast and counted for the 2008 WSU election. 1217 valid votes were cast in a “keenly contested” election. But there can be only one winner – stalling,

Snell – 373, Jane Nguyen – 357. Jeffery Hawkes was the final Director, limping in with just 331 votes.

stalling, stalling – Ben (Pene) Delaney narrowly won the battle for President, with 599 votes to Joesph Mooney’s 565.

The unsuccessful Director candidates were Gabrielle Kershaw, Beaudine Tahau, Matt Gatchell, and Krysten Vonk.

“I think it’s a win for the democratic process. I think it’s encouraging to see some new faces on the board and the return of some old faces. It’s a good mix,” said Ben.

WSU officials were rapt with voter turnout and very pleased about how smoothly the campaign was run.

The Vice-Presidential seat was so hotly contested between Glen Delamare and Anya Varejchina that the votes had to be recounted - three times! However, Glen Delamare got through, with the final count recording with 561 votes to Anya’s 555. Nevertheless, Anya was voted in as a Director.

No surprises with the pick for Vice-President Maori, which went to – Whetu Taukamo. A whopping 953 votes left his invisible competitor wondering what went wrong.

With 13 candidates running for eight Director positions, it was always going to be a close game of musical director chairs. Nevertheless, reigning 2008 Director, Andrew James, powered his way to first place, 200 votes clear of his nearest rival.

“I’m pumped, euphoric, well on my way to a full blooded erection, said AJ, making fist pumping gestures in the air.

“Thanks to the students of Whakachang. Glad to be back for another year and can’t wait for some more epic events,” said the ecstatic Mr James.

The other seven Directors and their vote counts are: Natalie Good - 407, Anya Varejchina – 404, Denis Tokunai – 393, Rachel Wark – 383, David

WSU Manager, David West, said “I’m thrilled to bits. A record turnout of voters; as an organisation it has been a great way to interact with our members.”

“It’s very good to see such a closely fought contest,” said Returning Officer Michael Nightingale.

“It’s good to see more people are taking an interest in the elections,” he added.

It was also mentioned by David West that “three people tried to vote twice.” He said they were very quick to pick up on this and therefore made both votes invalid. He urged voters not to attempt this next year.

Current WSU President, Moira Neho, said she was disappointed with the campaigning efforts the candidates put in this year, with only one appearance in front of the students at the AGM, as well as the strident efforts of Nexus, to inform students what they stood for and their suitability for election.

So another campaign trail rolls to an end as a new board begins. As of January 1st 2009, the torch will be passed on to the new WSU members.

Here’s to a prosperous 2008 and a bright 2009see you on the trail next year.

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Nexus not top dog but Waikato was best in show

By Grant Burns and Joshua Drummond The music was elegant, the alcohol was free, and the 2008 ASPA awards were a great success – hosted proudly by the WSU and Nexus. On Friday night at the Performing Arts Centre, we held the national student media journalism awards – and we did it in style.

Tuxedos and cocktail dresses, champagne in tall crystal glasses, chamber music on piano; you could hardly believe this was a gathering of students – until the alcohol kicked in, of course.

Picture. Third place for Best Cover was awarded to Graphics Editor Talia Kingi, for the fantastic Fantasy Issue cover, which featured Waikato University on a floating island, surrounded by mountains and dragons.

Second Equal for Best Education Series went to Nexus editor Joshua Drummond, who is a.) a bit sick of getting second equal for things he enters as an afterthought, b.) not sure what an Education Series actually is, c.) wanting to keep the prize anyway, thanks, and d.) writing about himself in the third person.

Entrees of bacon-wrapped scallops, a buffet dinner of exquisite meats and veges – mmmm (drooling on keyboard), and a sumptuous dessert the WSU, Nexus and Oranga held a top class event which had every attendee in high spirits and full of praise.

Otago University’s Critic magazine, which seems to take it in turns to win with Victoria University’s Salient and Auckland University’s Craccum.

A slight hiccup was the appointed MC, AltTV’s “Bomber” opting not to make his scheduled appearance. Fortunately, matters were taken in hand by sponsor Fairfax Publication’s Clive Lind and ASPA President Rory MacKinnon.

Hamilton’s own synth-pop-rock trio the Deadly Deaths rounded out a fantastic evening with their patented lo-fi laid-back tunes, as members of the various magazines took a convoy of taxis into Hamiltron. What happened next? We have no idea. Most of the Nexus members dissipated with various people from other magazines and everything gets kind of blurry.

Unfortunately, Nexus didn’t take top prize in any category, but we were able to snap up two third places and a second equal. Third for Best Columnist went to Fergus Hodgson, who wrote the much-missed Big

The coveted Best Publication award went, inevitably and deservedly, to

Come back next week for a full rundown on the ASPA awards in the pages of Nexus!

9

John Key slipping in to visit campus

By Grant Burns

National leader John Key is coming to Waikato University on Wednesday 1st October to talk to students and win over their votes with his witty smile.

Director of Communications, Lisa Finucane, said “John was interested in visiting the University while he was in Waikato and welcomed the opportunity offered by the Vice-Chancellor to speak with staff and students. In an election year it is particularly important that people are able to make informed choices. The Vice Chancellor has also extended

an invitation to the Prime Minister, Helen Clark. We will provide more details on this visit once it has been confirmed.”

Mr Key will be speaking in the P.W.C building in the Management school from 12:30pm onwards. All students are urged to come and listen.

Nexus is hoping to score an interview with the National leader and will publish it in next week’s issue if successful.

What: National leader John Key coming to speak on campus When: 12:30pm on Wednesday 1st October Where: P.W.C building in Management school

New WSU Club

Management and Communication

By Courtney Mellor

Communications students at Uni have started a public relations club and are volunteering their time to gain work experience and help local organisations.

President of PRiNZ, Fiona Cassidy, who started her career as the voice for the NZ Army, attended the lunch to talk about the importance of gaining work experience while studying.

It’s called the Management Communication Students Association and it was officially launched on 17 September at a lunch where representatives from Public Relations Institute of New Zealand (PRiNZ) backing the club.

“One aspect of the PR industry is that you never stop learning and you shouldn’t, there so much new technology, strategies and professional developments happening all the time that you should keep up with.”

The student group currently has 60 members who are keen to get out into the community and enhance their skills and gain valuable work experience to get an edge in the competitive industry of PR. President Kylie Nichol is optimistic there will be plenty of opportunities for work experience in the Waikato district “We are willing to help any community organisation no matter what size”.

The club has planed their first project which was originally inspired by an article in the Waikato Times about a family who had brought a trained dog over from the USA for their autistic child.

This group of students are planning to help four Waikato families who are wanting to trained dogs for their children and hope to raise $30,000 through fundraising events.

PRiNZ is a Wellington based organisation with 1200 members and growing, the organisation is looking to become more political.

Before becoming a member applicants have to agree with the terms and conditions of their code of ethics for marketing and their looking to do the same with politicians by making them sign a pledge of ethics before campaigning.

PRiNZ recently sent a submission to parliament against the Electoral Finance Act. With full support from PRiNZ the student group is also looking at setting up some networking evenings for students to meet and greet professional in the industry, helping them build contacts for future endeavours.

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Speaker to teach at Waikato Uni

Old Lady Wants to Touch Students, Not Dean Position

By Grant Burns

Parliamentary Speaker Margaret Wilson has officially declared she will be coming back to work at Waikato University as Professor of Law and Public Policy in December.

This announcement puts to rest rumours that Mrs Wilson was going to be the new Dean. PA to the acting Dean, Nelda Steenson, “[Margaret Wilson has] definitely not applied for the Dean position, and will not be [in the future].”

“She will be a part of teaching and research and she is very looking forward to contributing to the Waikato University,” said Nelda.

Madame Speaker declined to speak with Nexus due to a ‘busy schedule’, but told the Waikato Times. “My family is still there (in Hamilton),

first ever woman to do so. She has been speaker since March 3 2005, and will wrap up three and half years of service after the election on

parents, sisters, nieces etc, so that’s one of the real attractions for coming back ... that’s where I feel at home.”

November 8.

“I feel really comfortable that I’ve had a really good time and don’t regret a second of it, but I’m ready to move into the next challenge.”

Margaret Wilson was Dean and law professor at Waikato between 1990 and 1999, and was awarded with an honorary doctorate in 2004. Mrs Wilson is the 27th Speaker of the House of Representatives and the

Her experience will be well-received by students and staff alike. WSU President Moira Neho, “I met Margaret Wilson at the Distinguished Alumni Awards dinner and I was excited when she told me she would be joining the academic staff at the Law School.”

Beginning in December, Margaret Wilson will teach her first class in 2009.

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11

NZLSA CONGRATULATES COMPETITIONS WINNERS Winners of the 2008 NZLSA National Law Competitions Championships were announced on Saturday 6 September at the final dinner of the annual NZLSA Conference and were congratulated personally by the Governor-General, His Excellency, Hon Anand Satyanand.

“The NZLSA law competitions represent the pinnacle of achievement for the various competitors involved, who all qualified by winning their faculty competitions earlier in the year.” NZLSA President Dave Dewar said. The winners will, in many cases, represent New Zealand at international law students’ competitions in 2009, such as the Philip C. Jessup International Moot Court Competition, held annually in Washington D.C. The final for the Bell Gully Mooting competition took place at the Auckland High Court between the University of Otago (Alice Irving and Kate Muirhead) and the University of Auckland (Sally Trafford and Hannah Yiu). Judges for the final were Justices Chambers and Winkelmann and Ian Gault (Bell Gully). After an excellent quality final, the competition was won by the University of Auckland.

The Russell McVeagh Client Interviewing final was held at Russell McVeagh’s Auckland office. The finalists were the University of Canterbury (Julia Whitehead and Sarah Keast) and Victoria University of Wellington (Henry Clayton and Adam Edwards). Judges for the final were Greer Robson and Sally Fitzgerald of Russell McVeagh, and John Ip from the University of Auckland. Victoria University of Wellington was judged the winning team.

The Buddle Findlay Negotiation final was held at the Auckland office of Buddle Findlay. In the final were the University of Canterbury (Jason Cooper and Tim Haines) and the University of Otago (Natasha Garvan and Simon Waalkens.) The final was judged by Graham Hall and Michael Dineen from Buddle Findlay and Jessica Carter, a mediator from the Department of Building and Housing. After a grueling effort, the University of Canterbury negotiators emerged the winners.

The University of Canterbury was also the inaugural winner of the Anderson Lloyd President’s Prize for best-performing university at the national finals.

“The 2008 NZLSA Competitions were of the highest standard they have ever been.” Dewar said. “They are not at all easy and often the problems rival the complexity of real legal issues. To win a national final is a considerable achievement.

“There is a general paucity of practical legal skills taught within the LLB curriculum.” Dewar said. “NZLSA Competitions are an excellent and unparalleled opportunity for LLB students to gain practical experience essential for legal practice.”

The NZLSA wishes all competition winners the best of luck in competing at the international championships next year.

East Hamilton Police Burglary Report 15th - 21st September 2008 Last week 18 burglaries occurred in the Hamilton East and rural areas.

Their locations are shown on the map.

The number of burglaries has continued to increase this month, more than the month of August. When I visited the burglary victims and studied the locations I have noticed a very similar pattern. Ninety percent of the houses / flats are being entered by offenders via the laundry, bedroom or office windows.

If you look at the layout of a house, most of these windows are at the side or rear of the house / flat. What this means is that the offenders have confidence knowing that they can enter the property either at the rear or side to offend.

You as students must be more aware of these locations on your property and try to think as an offender would. What I mean by this is that are there trees or bushes that provide the perfect cover for the offenders to hide. If you do have such trees or bushes that are over grown it might be worthwhile asking your landlord if you can trim or cut them down (or get them to do it).

Last week there were 15 laptops being reported as stolen, including other electrical equipment. So please be aware that you could be a victim.

Questions from Nexus readers: What sort of behavior do police feel is regarded as “suspicious?”

It depends on time and place but if you’re at home and some stranger walks onto you property, ask yourself the question. What are they doing and what do they want?

Ask them and if they run away, please call the Police. That person is probably looking to break into your house / flat or to find out what you do have inside (e.g. laptops).

Information on how to protect your home is available from the East Hamilton Community Policing Centre on Clyde St. If you have any information that might help Police with these burglaries please call the University Constable, Nick Sickelmore, or email Nicholas.

Sickelmore@police.govt.nz

12

Diana, the Paparazzi and Hypocrisy Tuesday 16 September 1997, Issue 21 Princess Diana (1st July 1961- 31st August 1997) On 31 August 1997, Princess Diana died from servere injuries after the car she was travelling in crashed in the Pont de l’Alma tunnel in Paris, France. All four occupants of the car, including Diana’s boyfriend Dodi Fayed, were pronounced dead on the scene. It was later found that the driver of the car, Henri Paul, was intoxicated and on anti-depressants at the time of the crash.

However, this is not the full extent of the story. Before and during the time of the crash, paparazzi had been furiously hounding the couple, and it was during their getaway from the tabloids that the crash occurred.

So, in the wake of this senseless tragedy, the public has been quick to condemn the paparazzi for their blatant intrusion into Diana’s private life and contributing to her death. Yet, the public and consumers of magazines such as New Idea and Woman’s Weekly should take a hard look at themselves before they open their gossipy mouths.

New Idea and Woman’s Day decided to pull their magazines which further snooped at Diana’s and Dodi’s relationship as a “mark of respect” following the death, and then had the nerve to publish tributes to Diana later in the week: hypocrites.

Of course the gullible public snapped these special issues up in record numbers, theoretically making more money than if they’d published the original article. And you can’t help but think that the public is some what accountable for Diana’s death as well.

Vault

By Grant Burns Arguably, the paparazzi were just doing their job: taking humiliating pictures of famous celebrities, a sick way of cutting down those who achieve success. They were continuing to feed the gossip-hungry, rumour-fuelled public with their weekly dose of bullshit.

If there wasn’t so much demand for this filth, then perhaps this tragedy could have been avoided. Why do humans take refuge in magazines which stem from hearsay and un-factual statements? Why must we resort to Tall Poppy Syndrome every time somebody famous acts like a human being, and then publish it so we can say: O my God look at Britney’s hair, or I can’t believe she’s with him. Disgusting, celebrity pornography is what it is, and if you are a reader of these filthy magazines, then to shame with you.

If any reader actually cared for Diana, then they wouldn’t be reading the tabloids. The irony is that these readers don’t acknowledge the relationship between them and the paparazzi. You could voice you disgust of the paparazzi and how they led to the death of Diana, but you’re more than happy to check out what’s the ‘talk of the town’ next week, ‘keeping up with the goss’ so they say.

Nevertheless, nothing can stop this hypocrisy. As long as there is a demand for this ‘fake news’ then there will always an endless supply of it; junk food for the brain.

August 31st 1997, will forever be remembered as the day the world lost the compassionate and beautiful Princess of Wales. But, the cause of the tragedy still lingers on at the forefront of the racks, wherever shit books are sold.

Fonterra investigating claims of San Lu cover-up Corporation kills, tries to dodge Government bullets What are the odds?

Polls give Obama clear lead after first presidential debate Who will stay the course?

The uppity black man?

Or the grey walking corpse?

Silver screen legend Paul Newman dies, aged 83 Hollywood’s missing A legend – but we still have Paul’s salad dressing

Aussie man loses $20k in online liaison gone wrong Free money? Online?

For a fee, just a song?

Hooray! What could go wrong?

Last orders for Margaret Wilson Wilson returning to Waikato Law – I hope she still Shrieks “Order!”

WaMu bank collapses - biggest in US history “How did we get rooted?”

Financiers: “It’s the economy, stupid”

13

TO GET YOUR 2009

STUDENT FINANCES

SORTED SOONER

ACT NOWWW Apply online now. If you’re thinking about studying next year but haven’t confirmed your courses yet, you can still apply for your Student Allowance now. If you think you might need a loan, you can arrange that too. Then, when you confirm your course details, just let us know.

HIN %&%'6

STY 0102 200x270 1

9/18/08 5:45:25 PM

Txts to the Editor!

Nexus now has a non-new TXT-in service! Send Letters to the Editor - via text - to 021 235 8436. They can be about anything – but if it’s something in the magazine, so much the better. We’ll print the best ones, so get texting! Texts should include a name to attribute them to.

Text of the week wins a mystery prize! Come into the office to claim it.

This doesn’t happen very often

Don’t forget: You can send Busted pictures in by pxt! Send us your best snaps of you or your mates in Busted-type situations to 021 235 8436.

Can you do it? Yes you can!

my peers feel they are with junk every morning we walk into uni and every time we have to step outside the bounds of S Block.

Dear Josh, I felt that it was in high order to congratulate you on an especially well done job on your editorial. The editorial is generally the only thing I read each week, as it sums up each issue really well, and I found that this weeks episode was something to be especially grateful (why the hell is that word spelled - and that one too! - that way?? Bloody Americans again I bet.) for.

You started off with a great little anecdote that kept me reading, and by the time I got to the real point of the story, I was hooked and it dawned on me that I had been very successfully duped into feeling strongly about the WSU elections, which I hadn’t really cared about before. Thanks, otherwise I wouldn’t have voted (in the future).

I thought the national elections was the only thing to worry about, and now I see that WSU is pretty important too... doesn’t help that everyone has to litter the place with their damn names that mean nothing to me. I’d still vote for whoever, if I never saw their name ONCE scrawled badly across the pavement, and just saw their name once in the ‘WSU candidates WOF’ section in the nexus. I feel it’s important to note how horridly bombarded myself and

Oh, can you please, please, please run a huge issue very soon on the NZ national elections, because jesus christ who the hell is going to be the best choice for this year, stepping into the recession and a possible depression (as the experts have been predicting)??

Kyreena P.S. This was simply a personal letter for you, but if you feel the need to put it in lettuce, go for it I guess I ran a hyper-sensitive sarcasm detector over this and it came up clean, so – thank you?

We will be running a NZ election feature in an upcoming issue, so keep an eye out for it.

The best way to deal with feeling like you’re bombarded with junk, I think, is to creatively modify said junk. See “adbusters” (Google it) for details.- Ed.

Give us back our shit, bitch (please) In May our Law school successfully smashed the Auckland law school into submission and retained the “log of wood” in a sports competition. Wicked! On the day U-Leisure (the managers of the Unirec

Centre) lent to us 32 red shirts to wear so we could have some kind of a uniform. Awesome!

However, to date only 8 shirts have been returned, at a cost of approx $35 per shirt that’s $840.

I am writing to request, plead and beg that if anyone has these red shirts to please return them. They can be dropped into the Waikato Student Union (WSU) office (up the corridor form Student Job Search and above the Uni Pharmacy) by Friday 26 Sept 2008 at 4pm no questions asked. If you have any of these shirts in your draw, on the wall as memorabilia (etc) can we please have them returned? We have already sent this notice around the law school but there were also non-law students who participated as well.

The consequence is that U-Leisure is looking at invoicing WULSA for the balance. I hope this wont happen and therefore ask for anyone knowing the whereabouts of the red shirts to return them. If you have any further enquires regarding this matter please let contact me (wat4@waikato.ac.nz.)

All the best to you and your studies for the rest of this year, and good luck for your exams.

Whetu Taukamo P.S. Please please please

THE NEXUS LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS A $20 BOOK VOUCHER FROM BENNETTS WAIKATO UNIVERSITY BOOKSHOP!

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ADDRESS Gate 5 Hillcrest Road

WAIKATO UNIVERSITY BOOKSHOP

EMAIL wku@bennetts.co.nz 15

The woodwork Hey yea i totally agree with the rant of the week. NZ is one of the most racest countries in the world. Why should maori and pacific islanders get special scholorships? I dont see a if you are white and get a B average etc how is that fair?!

While i went to LG.01 to listen to the speeches of the WSU PRez shit..i couldnt help but wonder why there is a VP Maori...wtf!! get over it! the dam prez atm is maori so you get your stupid voice in the university! It just anoys me how they get all these things. Like when the warriors played at auckland about a month ago maori and pacific islanders get free entry.

That is total bulshit and even my maori mates thought it was over the top.For the record im not racist and i have “black mates” i just hate it when they get privilage.

Also with that 1 tree hill thing where they got the land and $30million..wtf!that is shit.That is why im not voting labour!! All they are doing is using the treaty of waitange as a weapon against the weak and useless government to get free money.Give the money to the poor if u going to just give it away like that!

Also to show that i think NZ is racist..listen to the next time you hear the national anthem.. hardly anyone signs the maori part then in the english part everyone signs.The treaty of waitange happend like 150years ago!get the fuk over it!you dont see the white people asking money for all the white people the maori killed or had for lunch.

Woodwork #2 Hi Here is a possible opinion piece for the next issue of “Nexus” whenever that may be.

(Inane illegal ranting follows)

from Justin Cullingworth Chris

Holy God, where do I start. I hope this is a bad joke? There are so many things wrong with this that if I dedicated my reply to shooting you down it would take up the rest of the magazine.

Luckily, someone already wrote a book that you should probably read before you don a white hood. It’s called Bullshit, Backlash and Bleeding Hearts, it’s by a very smart bloke called David Slack and it comprehensively shoots down the load of misconceptions/hideous racist horseshit you’ve just unloaded on the readers of this magazine. It’s in the Uni Library. Read it. (If any readers thought “fuk yea!” or similar about this letter, you should definitely read it too.)

The only reason I’ve printed your disgusting letter is in the hope that it will spark some legitimate debate and your viewpoint will be exposed as the utter bollocks it is. At least you’re trying.

Showing up for a WSU meeting and writing to Nexus show you’re actually willing to engage in ideas, so let’s see you defend this little tirade. I took the liberty of using your real (?) name, because you didn’t ask me not to, and because I’m sure you’re not a coward. Also: I like the Maori version of the anthem better. Also also: to make this letter completely hilarious, read it out loud in a funny/ dramatic voice – Ed

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Hi Chris. Your Sensible Sentencing Trust propaganda is not the sort of thing we run in the magazine. Advocating urban terrorism to prevent prisoners being released on bail or parole is stupid. If you think it’s such a great idea, try it yourself; I look forward to the ironic headlines - Ed

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Txt of the Week Good point, want to write some?

LETTERS POLICY: Nexus

I like nexus heaps bt 1 thing iv noticed since I moved to study in tga is that u guys need sum articles & shiz frm our side of da kaimais. Dnt 4get da lil people yo. `Ra

welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page, serious or not. Letters should be kept under 250 words and be received by

Just bone him already. You clearly want to.

Wednesday 5pm on the week prior to publication.

Dear Nexus, my flatm8 reckons I’m a mindfuck.

Is that good? We r both males so I’m a bit concerned. Alan.

We’ll print basically any letter, but the editor reserves the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. We won’t

I don’t know what you’re talking about; care to elaborate?

correct your spelling and grammar either, so it’s up to

How yaz nah rock out more Gonzo journalism?

Then u do? The HS T will remain cryin beacon into the night

See the Two Towers for a rundown on what pissed-off trees are capable of Nexus‌Who ever was running th drinking in a box thing on st johns park last week? I would like to meet th lazy fuckers cause they should clean their fuckin mess. People wonder why th community has a low perception of students.

Its cause we get retards organising events, making a mess and not tidying the place up afterwards. From a pissed off tree.

No

are okay (all correspondence

Regarding your questions of last week; these people should utilise their right to not vote.

If the reasons they gave represent NZ’s finest

must include your real name

minds, we’re fucked.

we gt rid of the lot an started again. Then wed hav honest 1s.

you how much of an idiot you look like. Pseudonyms

and contact details – they

Hi its Pete here.Im nt goin 2 vote this yr as all the polotisin r the same.NZ wud b beta off if

We laughed. We guess you didn’t?

won’t be printed if you don’t

Reply to: Gavins lettuce in regards to the joke, You’re a fucking pig, Go play in traffic !

want them to be) but if it’s a serious letter we’d prefer you to use your real name.

You obviously share Hunter’s affinity for drugs more than his writing ability

Send letters to nexus@ waikato.ac.nz

Yes This is a big thnx 2 shweppsie 4 runnin & maintaining the interhalls dc++ server this yr!

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LOGAN WISHED HE’D BEEN INSURED Logan thought he couldn’t afford to get his car insured – not full cover for his car and any car he damages – or even cheaper third party insurance to cover another car in case he is at fault in an accident.

Logan was wrong! He should have least got third party insurance. Unfortunately his car damaged another car while it was parked so he was clearly at fault and responsible for the costs incurred.

The University branch of Citizens Advice Bureau can give you information about this or other hassles you might have. They have heaps of pamphlets and a huge database to help answer anyone’s questions. Visit them at the Cowshed from 1pm – 3pm daily during semesters or phone 8384466 extn 6622 or 0800FORCAB. By the way as about a quarter of vehicles in New Zealand are not insured, the Government is considering making third party car insurance compulsory. This would address issues of equity and road safety as at-fault insured motorists would be protected against potentially hefty costs in the event of a crash and responsible drivers wouldn’t be left out of pocket. At present, those who have vehicle insurance are paying for the costs of all motorists through their insurance premiums.

17

18

“I don’t think it should be any of the clichés associated with Hamilton – birds, cows, the river. It needs to be contemporary; exciting…my view is that a committee should be formed for the Wintec Wall which includes funding, so artists could change it annually or biannually. Keep it constantly evolving”

Subtle but stylish, creative but concealed, Hamilton’s artistic movement dwells within the city as an untapped reservoir of ingenious talent – a sub-culture of kaleidoscopic visionary expressionism. Throughout the CBD, high upon buildings, deep under bridges, and down dark alleys lie many great artistic works of a collective, creative group of Hamiltonians.

Nexus decided to investigate the underground scene after witnessing the wooden construction site wall at the ships become transformed into a canvas of contemporary drawings, quotes, and artistic symbolism.

We managed to track down the author of the intriguing chalk drawings, Alister Sellimen, a.k.a Noodles, and talk to him about his work and the Hamilton art scene.

“I guess what you call what I do urban art, some people call it graffiti”, he chuckles as I gaze around his inspiring work studio marvelling at the many accomplished canvases.

“I started [drawing and designing as Noodles] about 2004, about four years ago…and slowly I’m getting in to it [graffiti art]”, he says, doodling as we talk.

“There is a Hamilton artist scene, it’s just everyone is down low about it…I’m in a collective called the Underwater…we do a

lot of collaborations together as artists,” he adds and hands me a sketch book full with his original drawings. I open it and flip through the heavily detailed pages, very impressed and inspired with the professionalism of the work.

I ask him where he gets his great ideas from.

“They’re mostly just doodles and a bit of humour, some stress relief,” he answers, easily.

Noodles is a current Wintec media arts student and just one of many talented Hamiltonbased artists who fly under the radar. “Most of the work we do is around the CBD, under bridges,” he chuckles. Noodles is working mostly in chalk these days, he says. Unwelcome attention from law enforcement means he has to work in a medium that can be easily washed away.

Lance Harris, a.k.a Ero, is a Hamilton-based full-time artist, “I’ve been a draw-er all my life and about 6-7 years ago I decided to quit hairdressing and do a course at Wintec [BA in Media Arts] and yeah been doing it ever since.”

From the moment you enter his property and before you are even able to greet him, you have the sense that this person is very passionate about what he does. Along the brown fence hang three canvases of Ero’s artwork, naked for the public to witness as 19

they drive along the busy road. Inside the driveway there is the remnant of a car roof transformed into a sea of colour, a basketball hoop with a psychedelic explosion of design, and many other canvases big and small, perfectly created. His garage turned art studio is a cluttered of paints, spray cans, and brushes.

After inspecting the pieces on the fence and around the house, I ask him his views on promoting art. “Art shouldn’t be sheltered or private…it should be placed where the public can see it so they can debate it themselves and form their own opinions on it. I think that’s what art should do,” he tells me.

“My pieces can be stuck up on to parking meters, poles, wire-mesh fences, but they can also be taken down again; if you like them, you can take them.”

Astounded by this last comment, I ask him to elaborate. “You have to let your artwork go, you have to let things go, otherwise, if you hold on to them they’ll turn you into something you don’t particularly want to be,” he says.

Humble yet determined, Ero answers my questions with great depth and care. So, I ask him about what he thinks of the Hamilton art scene. “It amalgamates a lot of music, the likes of the Looky Loo’s and the Branston Hicks, they play at a lot of exhibitions we do.”

He agrees there are many collective art groups which dominate the scene, but admits that the 20

scene is becoming endangered with the closure of many Hamilton art galleries and cafes.

“There was the New Friends Contemporary art gallery, but they’ve closed down now and so has Le Commune.”

performance based. When someone like that guy comes, I think it becomes more inclusive with them; they don’t have to have a full understanding, but just to enjoy it in their own way.”

“I would like to get together with people who have ideas about what they think should happen [for the Hamilton art scene,”] he adds.

“If we get a big enough people together, we’d be able to propose something to a business or funding group and get something up and running.”

However, the main discrimination of graffiti art is the common misconception of graffiti being the same as tagging. Both Noodles and Ero are strong in their replies about this fallacy.

Ero’s view is optimistic, and suddenly, almost coincidentally, an unknown but gracious admirer strolls on to Ero’s property aweinspired and keen to see more of his artwork.

“This your art bro?” the large Maori man asks Ero. “Yes,” replies Ero. “Choice!” says the stranger with a wide, jovial smile on his face. As Ero begins explaining his art to the street walk admirer, I begin to wonder why this cauldron of artistic talent is not boiling within Hamilton’s youth culture.

Surely, one would imagine there to be galleries, cafes, and shops full of this local creative industry. However, the reality is, there is not.

And that is why Hamilton artist are itching for a place where they can preview their art along with other mediums.

“Hope you get yourself on the TV or the papers, write a book or something,” the Maori man says, as he leaves the property. As to illustrate a point, Ero continues. “I guess I also like the idea of a lot of my stuff being

“I used to hate tagging until I started doing it one night, simple stuff like writing my name… but then I began to take my time with graffiti, rather than rush it by tagging” said Noodles.

“Definitely [there is a difference]. They’re both in some way fame, but taggers never develop their style like graffiti artists do…tagging is very gang-related; marking their territory,” answers Ero. “I think graffiti, however, does have a delineating line because it tends to cross into fine art; I mean some of it is complicated as hell,” he adds.

Nexus then asked both artists what they think should be done with the concrete eyesore of Anglesea Street, also known as the Wintec Wall.

“The big one,” laughs Noodles. “We’ve been talking about it for years, what we could do… but I think you’d have to ask all of Hamilton,” he replies.

“I used to hate tagging until I started doing it one night, simple stuff like writing my name‌but then I began to take my time with graffiti, rather than rush it by taggingâ€?

21

“I don’t think it should be any of the clichés associated with Hamilton – birds, cows, the river,” Ero says, which happens to be exactly what I’m thinking. “It needs to be contemporary; exciting…my view is that a committee should be formed for the Wintec Wall which includes funding, so artists could change it annually or biannually. Keep it constantly evolving,” Three main characteristics that are prominent with both artists are determination, focus, and care - caring for the community. Trying to establish a local arts culture; showing that Hamilton can be more than just a town of farmers with a river through it.

“The other thing with the idea of collaboration and the idea of having a place to meet, means it’s inclusive of everyone, not only artists of all genres –film, music, graffiti, sculpturing, drama, but the community as a whole,” says Ero. As we continue to talk about Hamilton and the arts, Ero makes a genuine statement and a calling for young artists to step and be seen.

“In Hamilton there is a good opportunity to involve ourselves to that extent where we could change our views or update them at least. The clichés of cows and the Waikato River need to be left and when you base the fact that the most of Hamilton’s population is young…I don’t think it really represents what Hamilton is about.”

Travelling through the city, I can imagine a Victoria Street of red, a Garden Place of green, and blue buildings all around, but the reality is mostly grey drudge. I wonder why there aren’t graffiti walls for new talent to spray on, or public exhibitions to show class Hamilton’s finest artists. Instead, misunderstood artists have to create their work undercover, in the night, and to next morning marvel at their work before it is washed away for ever.

For another perspective on the subject, Nexus caught up with Hamilton City Councillor, Daphne Bell, to ask her view on the difference between graffiti and tagging, and what shall be done with the Great Wall of Wintec. “I think there is some confusion [about the difference between graffiti and tagging]. We see tagging as defacing property without permission. Graffiti is more of an American idea and the public view it with more artistic 22

merit. Permission is the main difference. It costs the city $500,000 a year to clean up tagging; we’d rather use that money on finer art for the community.”

“It is a very long process [the Wintec Wall] and we’ve only just finished the engineering report on it…by the end of the year there will be an opening for ideas… current artists can submit their views and develop some ideas,” says Daphne.

I ask her if the Council has any approximate date to begin work on the wall. She laughs.

“Like I said it’s a long process…possibly the end of next year.”

Another project in the works is the Pit Lane Project for the 2009 Hamilton 400. “It’s underway. We’ve had the project brief and now we’re waiting to see what gets submitted.

It is open to the public to submit ideas. I encourage anyone who is keen. We need people with imagination and creativity,” says Daphne.

Nexus also asked Tracey Wood of the Hamilton Community Arts Council her opinion on the Hamilton arts scene and want could be done to make it better. “We’re working to respond to the needs. We identify that there is a gallery shortage. Hamilton tends to be fickle towards what it supports…Beginning of next year [new galleries will open in Hamilton]. The biggest problem is sustaining these galleries.”

Tracey’s view on graffiti and tagging: “Absolutely [there is a difference between graffiti and tagging]. The difference is graffiti is a form of artwork and it takes creativity and talent. Tagging is just destroying property.”

For the third time while I’ve been investigating this story, I was met with a humble laugh when I asked about the Wintec Wall. “I would like to see something contemporary. I am aware of the constraints on space and the engineering constraints, but I’d definitely support something contemporary,” says Tracey.

It seems that Hamilton is on the verge of something big; a new wave revolution of local-based art just waiting to be showcased.

So, I asked both artists, Noodles and Ero, for some inspiring words for any up and coming

Hamilton artists. “Just go for it, get out there… don’t let the getting caught business turn you off,” says Noodles.

I enquired if he himself had been in trouble with the law over his art. “Yeah, twice,” he laughs, seeming not to mind the slightest. Very modestly Noodles explains how he doesn’t mind the risk to showcase his art to the community. “It’s for everybody. Once it’s out in the public, it’s everyone’s art’ it’s not really mine anymore,” he declares.

Ero also has his own disclaimer to rising artists.

“If they start seeing that [my artwork] it might encourage them, cause I’m pretty sure there are some really talented people out there who are like ‘oh fuck I never thought of that, but I can do better.’”

“I would hate that emerging artists get this idea that you present this stuff to be sold as a living…anything done with passion comes through to the fore,” he says.

So, although, Hamilton doesn’t have the history of New York or Rome, our artist movement is at a delicate point where just one major investment could spark a powder keg of cultural tradition – bringing Hamilton up to the times with modern art and creating a more attractive place for tourists and locals.

Beginning with the Wintec Wall, Hamilton has the potential and the talent to make a significant mark on the national art and culture scene, transforming Hamilton into a place everyone can enjoy – not just those who are enthralled by the non-colour of grey.

In order for us to maintain our way of living we must tell lies to ourselves and others.

These lies don’t even have to be particularly believable; just that they act as a barrier to the truth.

I suppose everyone has read stories about coming out before.

I wrote about it last year for nexus.

I guess as a gay person (read : faggot, queer, homosexual, any of those words that are used to demean and label people who are different) one gets used to the idea of being somehow sub-human in regular society.

How can I even write this so easily?? I’m saying that I’m getting used to the idea of feeling subhuman.

Accepting it in silence.

Derrick Jensen wrote “Any hatred felt long enough no longer feels like hatred. It feels like economics, religion, science, the way things are….”

Which is what it has become for homophobia (and many other forms of hate) they have become so entrenched in society that we no longer even notice them.

Until you are in a place when you become the victim.

Of course, I could gravitate to the gay community and not have to think about society at large but even if it becomes invisible to me, it still exists.

In the same way, the invisible and indefinable lines drawn by society also exist.

I can be sitting in my office at work and somehow a gay guy comes into the discussion.

A jockish guy starts slagging off the guy.

He’s not present to defend himself at all but the comments made are not really logical, let alone defendable. What was said wouldn’t have been said had the person had been in the room. Silence would have been maintained.

Reinforcing something else Jensen says “that in order for us to maintain our way of living we must tell lies to ourselves and others.

These lies don’t even have to be particularly believable; just that they act as a barrier to the truth.”

Anyways, comments… they continue until the guy is slagging off gays in general. Obviously he doesn’t realize that I’m sitting very close, or maybe he does and is requesting some sort of line to be drawn, or merely confirmed.

The other people in the room fall into three groups, passive participants, silent participants and active participants. Note that even in silence everyone is participating in what is happening. There are two actives, joking and laughing. Two passives, laughing when something is thrown in their direction, and me – silent – this isn’t funny in the slightest.

Everything this guy is spouting is moronic.

What happened next??

I took the only reasonable choice I could see at the time and left.

Looking back, I wish I had actually spoken up.

Or simply asked why? – did the guy really hate gay people? Was he bored and looking for something to take out some anger on? Is homophobia more acceptable than racism or sexism? One re-words his comments replacing “faggot” with “nigger” and I’m not sure it would have been acceptable. Someone would have spoken up. Maybe.

Was it even about hate? How can you hate someone that you don’t even know?

Was it simply about power??

R.D. Laing wrote “They are playing a game.

They are playing at not playing a game.

If I show them I see they are, I shall break the rules and they shall punish me.

I must play their game, of not seeing I see the game.”

If I had spoken up, I would have been breaking the rules. I would have been open to ridicule.

I work through the scenario in my head – the moment I draw the line everyone turns against me.

I’d like to think that wouldn’t happen but I’m a pessimist really.

I wonder if people even realize what they are saying.

I wonder why people have such a problem with gay people.

It’s the usual line, I was in town/school/online/ wherever and a gay person was hitting on me.

Never mind that as a gay person I often have straight guys hitting on me.

Never mind that straight people hit on woman all the time.

Gay men hit on straight men and they are not supposed to, therefore homophobia is ok so that the fags know their place… or some other bullshit like that.

I don’t understand homophobia, racism or misogyny at all. Or maybe I do.

The question is: What am I going to do about it?

Further reading..

Derrick Jensen – The Culture of Make Believe.

R.D. Laing – Knots

23

I’ve been asked when I chose to be gay, as if I woke up one morning and thought “hmmm… I think I’ll be gay from now on

I started writing this with several ideas running through my head – I’ve seen the website “godhatesfags.com” and have seen video of this church group’s “preaching” which basically consists of standing outside funerals with signs saying “Fags = Anal sex” with graphic illustrations.

For such a small group they seem to get a lot of media attention.

But it raises other questions in my mind. Does God hate fags? Which God? Does God hate anyone? What do other Christians think about this?

Just to set the record straight I still consider myself a Christian.

I also am male and have a boyfriend.

That’s kind of hard for some people to get their heads around.

I would have loved to present an unbiased look at how all religions treat LGBT people, but to do so would be beyond the scope of this article and would probably also piss me off to see the height, length, breadth and depth of hatred present in society.

Overall, it would be true that most Christian churches think that God dislikes or disapproves of homosexuality or gay people. Some groups have some interesting language associated with this – comments like “ as long as you are not a practicing homosexual” seem to be common. One has to wonder how a practicing homosexual is defined, being gay always came kind of naturally.

I can’t remember ever “practicing” anything except the piano.

24

There are a few churches in Hamilton which see themselves as inclusive of LGBT people.

Sadly many of the mainline churches will allow gay people to attend and not allow them to take any further part in the church.

Such an idea is still rooted in the idea that gay people have something wrong with them, which excludes them from certain positions.

It’s all put in nice language – words like moratorium, waiting, and dialogue all seem to mean the same thing. Silence.

So, many churches might agree that God does indeed hate fags, but very few people are keen enough to go waving signs on the street.

It doesn’t mean that the same lines are not drawn though.

Sin is a word that seems to always be used in the same sentence as “gay” (or more usually the very clinical sounding word “homosexual” is used.)

Being gay is apparently a sin, because apparently the Bible tells us so.

Being straight is not so bad although sometimes I get the idea that any thought of sex is pretty naughty.

This attitude is pretty fucked up to me.

Is this really true though?

What does the Bible really say about gay people?

It really depends on one’s view of the Bible – someone who views the Bible as the complete and infallible word of God himself and takes everything at face value would probably disagree with my views on the matter and any discussion would be pointless.

Some Christians seem to have more rational views and will agree that the Bible is a collection of different books, from different timeframes and cultural traditions – with each book having a different purpose and interpretation.

I’ve been asked when I chose to be gay, as if I woke up one morning and thought “hmmm…

I think I’ll be gay from now on”. I’ve often wondered if the people that ask this question will actually say that they chose to be straight – which by implication might mean they are bisexual to some degree. Most people will admit that it’s normal to be straight and anything different is a choice.

I’ve met many gay people, some in the closet and some out and I don’t think many of them would have chosen to be gay.

Some chose to be straight as far as society can tell, going as far as to get married and have kids, while acknowledging that they are actually gay.

Kind of strange as I always thought that Christianity was all about being honest, with yourself and with those you love.

Funny how someone can go from being part of a church, respected by many people and then come out and find that all your friends will no longer acknowledge your existence.

Anyways… time and space is running out.

For more information on this topic I would recommend reading some books.

Daniel A. Helminiak – What the Bible really says about homosexuality.

Robert Goss – Jesus acted up.

Or on the internet – www.gaychristian.net.

Heats One and Two… In Review Though the name has changed more times than a schizophrenic chameleon the interior of what is now known as Flow Bar is still much the same as I remember when I was last there and it was called something different – Catalyst, I think. Nice new carpet means a warmer sound, less nasty reflections and vibrations, but that cavernous snug feel is still there like a welcoming old friend.

I got there not long after eight, it was relatively empty, I sat at the bar talking to a couple of friends and ten minutes later I turn around

and there are people all over the place. A lot of familiar faces but a few new ones as well. Later another friend comments that he loves how the Band Experiments has historically brought an otherwise disparate public into town to watch musically diverse groups together and how this night is reminiscent of that. I wholeheartedly agree and hope it continues long after the event as it has also done historically. In any case The Band Ex has made a great restart, here’s how I saw the first heat played out…

Yum Yuk

The Prime Numbers

Being first at any gig is hard enough but to be a soloist, young and inexperienced and playing first at what amounts to a rock gig is to know the loneliness of the long distance runner. Yum Yuk is the nom de plume of young Hamilton artist Natalie Good and she had the dubious honour of getting the big rocky ball rolling on the night.

Normally suited to a café crowd or other similarly comfortable seated venue Natalie’s displacement wasn’t a problem for the appreciative crowd who had gathered at the foot of the stage but was evidently unnerving for her throughout the performance. Her songs are slice of real life, disarmingly honest, and delivered in a rambling Dylan-esque style that is wonderful to hear again. I hope she keeps at it. Playing more shows will progressively bring more confidence in Natalie’s songs, in her own experience and her courage to share it.

The musical outlet of a creative French New Zealander, The Prime Numbers music may have been standard new wave rock with heavy grunge overtones but the Franco flavour was very evident and provided a satisfying twist. Marion’s songs were written acoustically and have been developed for rock band and though the heavier backing provided welcome drive in parts it sometimes seemed to swallow up all available space, leaving little room for the subtlety of chord, lyric and vocal delivery. A bit more attention to dynamics in the rehearsal room will reinvigorate the passionate musical mood swings that French music and musicians always provide in their work and add more depth to what are already a good collection of songs. The guitar solo from the aforementioned frontwoman in the last song, a punk tinged up the guts rock number, was for me one of the highlights of the night and drew a round of applause and woops from the enlarging crowd of punters.

The Prime Numbers were runners up on the night going into the Wild Card draw.

26

Dick Dynamite and the Doppelgangers Some rather dexterous warm up routines on double bass from the frontman looked rather over-zealous until the first song ripped into action faster than a shithouse rat up a drainpipe. You can not make mistakes in a three-piece without affecting the whole band and Dick and the Doppelgangers seemed to be doing their darnedest to make each other slip up. Rollicking and full tilt, the band comprise a stand up drummer who was a stand up drummer, aforementioned bass player who can either slap it and make it cook him some fuckin eggs and/or walk it faster than a six-legged dog, and a guitarist who had to kerb all natural instincts to shred or be shredded and kept the thing nailed down while wearing a leather jacket.

They play highly derivative good old fashioned old school rock n roll with fast moving country undercurrents and heavy rockabilly undertows, and though you know you’ve heard it all before your toe will not stop tapping throughout their set. The musicianship is impressive and near intimidating, (playing the double bass behind your head is, at least the first time you see it, too impressive to be naff), the songs are catchy and quick and the dancing crowd were at their zenith of acknowledgement.

Dick Dynamite and the Doppelgangers were deserved winners of the first heat.

Gawj Though they had a tough act to follow Gawj flung themselves into their task without a second thought. Sounding at times like classic metal ala Sabbath they unleashed a swamp of sound, guitar and drum driven, that had its roots in hardcore and heavier. Gawj certainly ensured that the Band Ex tradition was kept of having an eclectic mix of bands, and the soundman was given his toughest task of the night. Trying to separate the strands of each instrument from this five-piece of young and energetic musos who got on stage turned on and turned up was no mean feat, especially when the music was deliberately vociferous and distortion heavy.

Easily the loudest band of the night there is a clear tipping point with this style of music that when reached and exceeded can undermine the integrity of all that the music is meant for. Yelling is hard to understand at the best of times and the ear naturally wants to ignore it or get away from it, when coupled with a stream of unconscious noise the result is alienating and tends to compel you in the opposite direction. I am a fan of intense music, heavy or otherwise, but there is a limit to what one can listen to that is loud, indiscernible and without dynamic. It is nights like this that I remember how imperative it is to have a soundman at the desk who knows your music, so that the glory you hear onstage can be translated to the front of it.

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Band Experiments: Heat Two Once again the crowd timed their run to such perfection that it was as if the first band getting on stage coincided exactly with people turning up en masse. Spooky. In any case once the night kicked into action it was hard to stop and this week the set up times between acts seemed very short indeed, which would be a welcome trend if it continues. This is how I saw it…

Aum

Sora Shima

There is always something extremely uninteresting about a guy standing at a desk with a computer on it. Watching two guys standing at a desk with two computers on it makes it doubly so. And it doesn’t matter how you try and dress it up - you can put lipstick on a pig but… Having no understanding at all of what the hell it is they are doing is further alienating and again it ends up feeling like you’re watching a computer geek having fun fiddling with your music programs while fixing your damned fickle internet connection. Thus I am sure there is something in it for those that are into it, the popularity of prog-digi-dance music in all its various forms is testament to that, but unfortunately I am extremely under-qualified to comment on it. Good luck with that all the same.

Atmospheric rock won the last Band Ex, Sora Shima did their homework and added Tuhua Motu (ex-member of now defunct winners of Band Ex ‘02 Nimbus) on guitar making them a double threat band.

Following in the well worn footsteps of HDU, Jakob, and, further back, Bailterspace, this music needs to be heard loud, in stereo, and in a large space for full effect. The instrumentalists (no vocals) are for the most part non-essential and almost off-putting, there are few ways to sway purposefully in time to soundscapes, and none of them truly engage an audience. This style of music, seemingly structureless but painfully anchored to itself, also holds the danger of consigning itself to the background, ending up as wallpaper on the wall of the room of your conversation.

For all this Sora Shima managed to convert the melodic monotony into near baroque moments of true beauty that only the truly heartless could not feel. Playing slowly allows the player to make the full use of chords and their relationships to one another and Sora Shima certainly found rich combinations and brought them down upon the audience with full effect. The constant classical idea of preparation, suspension, release, is also brought into play, and it is these tensions that were exploited continuously and capably during their set.

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The Damsels

The Evergreens

With the Damsels introduced as an all girl band I couldn’t help thinking that this is why people say Hamilton chicks is ugly. This 3-piece (all male) combo belied their demure nom de plume right from the get go opening with a bombastic drum bash that was more noise blanket than rhythm

The Evergreen’s set begun with a nice bit of funky guitar playing that had the audiences’ ears leaning in. Mine included and I remember thinking at one stage it was unusual and great to hear a guitar solo from the lead guitarist in a band. For the most part the Evergreens occupy

keeper. Atop these often messy foundations were built some jarringly ballsy and direct songs that called to mind a whole slew of angst ridden rock bands of the past. The songs had a habit of losing their impact mid-moment due to the lack of a timekeeper but this did not stop them from being compelling pieces. This was due in large part to the engaging vocalist who made the all important connection with the audience by looking at them whilst singing.

Despite the music’s hard edge, the desperate vocal style and the wonky wall of noise that barely keeps the music upright has one thinking that the Damsels is actually a rather apt name after all. Though there is still something rather laughable about instrument trashing post-Who and the 60s in general, this music really did sound like its protagonists were in distress.

a musical space somewhere between In Living Colour and the Spin Doctors (“Cleopatra’s Cat” in particular), whom they may have never heard of as those two bands were around about the time when this four-piece were just getting born.

I’m sure they have more contemporary influences than this (Jamiroquai? Incubus?) and they have managed to mix them well to create a nice blend of almost grand black man funk and pasty white boy rock. Their youth and inexperience was hard to ignore, some tricks for including the audience may work better on their target market but fell flat here in front of your average Hamilton gig going pub crowd, there were timing issues in the rhythm section and guitar issues that were hard to hide. Time will fix all this and I hope these guys stay together as they certainly have the ingredients to suggest that in a year or two their musical recipes will command more attention.

Over half way through the competition already and we have a couple of bands relaxing in easy chairs knowing they have made it into the final on October 16. Who will join them? To decide just that all of the bands below will be duking it out this Thursday at Flow Bar to convince the judges they deserve that coveted third spot.

Radiator

No Fixed Abode

Radiator is a rock band with an energetic live show featuring old-skool synthesizers and funky grooves. They were recently named finalists in the national APRA Silver Scrolls awards for songwriting. The three Trenwith brothers have been a prominent feature of the Hamilton music scene for the past decade and will be gunning for a place in the final.

Part Reggae, part stoner rock, part punk, No Fixed Abode have a penchant for mixing it up and a knack for getting the party started.

After more than 10 years of honing their craft in The Mount, No Fixed Abode are now based in Hamilton and cite reaching the finals of the 2006 battle of the bands as their biggest achievement yet.

Sumo Love Machine

Blacktooth

Sumo Love Machine’s line up of Malachi Guzman, Smash Addams, Cappy, Sammy Nevada and Stumpy Steinowitz, met in early 2008 and rock the party with their tongue-in-cheek take on garage punk. After a recent stream of live shows, ‘Sumo’ are quickly becoming crowd favourites around town. Come drink beer and see why.

Formed in 2005 by Guitarist Ollie, Vocalist Dan and bass player Matt, Blacktooth draw their influences from several styles of metal, predominantly ‘Heavy metal/powergroove’. Since drummer Jarrod joined to make it a quartet the band has taken a more thrash/death metal direction. With their second album just finished and their live shows constantly raising the bar of brutality, these guys are bound to be an eye and ear-opening act.

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Prez Sez

By Moira Neho It’s been a stressful week for me... I actually think I was more stressed then Pene who I am happy to say is your new President for 2009.

Overall I was pretty disappointed with the campaigning efforts but at the end of the day, the democratic process won and the people spoke… albeit by very slim margins. Thank you to the returning officer and his team, and the WSU staff for all the hard work that they put into this process.

Congratulations to all successful candidates in the WSU elections. To those of you who didn’t get in don’t give up. Come and get involved anyway, and don’t forget there’s always next year. It takes a dedicated group of people to serve the needs of our students. This isn’t an easy job, but we work hard and play hard too. To the 2009 WSU Board, my one piece of advice is this… don’t forget to step back and consider the bigger picture. Remember that at the core of everything you do should be the needs of our students because they are the reason that we exist.

* SHOW ME THE MONEY * Looking for a job next year? Well first of all you should make sure that your CV is looking sharp so that you can maximise your job hunting potential. So where do you go for help? The Office of Student Life (no connection to the friendly Christian student life group) offers Career services in this area. Sharon Jefferies is employed by the University and if you make an appointment with her she can help you with making your CV flash; writing cover letters; preparation for the ever important interview; and much more. She doesn’t work every day so you need to email her on careers@waikato.ac.nz to make an appointment.

* JOHN KEY * JOHN KEY * JOHN KEY * He’s the leader of the opposition and depending on what your political views are, is either the most popular or unpopular guy of the moment.

This is your chance to hear from the Leader of the National Party and to ask questions about their policy (or lack of it) and get answers straight from the horse’s mouth.

WHO: John Key, Leader of the National Party DATE: Wednesday 1st October TIME: 12.30-1.30pm WHERE: PWC, Management School In case you were wondering if the Prime Minister was going to show her face on campus, we are working with Sue Moroney and the PM’s office to get her here before you all leave for on study break. We will keep you up to date with any progress on that front and look forward to you all coming to hear what Aunty Helen has in store for students.

Student Q and A How do I get more involved with the WSU? I really want to have more of a student culture on the Waikato Uni campus.

This is a great question because it is the involvement of students that make a university’s culture boom. WSU has a number of aims and one of them is certainly to increase the student culture on campus. A way for you to get more involved with the WSU is to come to all of the events WSU holds, come to the weekly board meetings held in the student union building, read the articles written in nexus and talk about the student union with friends; this will raise the Waikato Student Union’s profile. Know what’s happening with WSU because we are here for the students; the more participation we get from the students, the more we will do. Another way you can get involved is running for a position on the WSU Board for 2010. It seems a long way away but before you know it WSU elections will be on again; so start thinking about it now. Being on the WSU Board is a great way to get involved and do something for the student body.

- Rachel Wark

Finally, we no longer have to keep our sanitary products under wraps thanks to Moxie. With a range of products including Tampons, Scanty Panty everyday liners and Sleepovers overnight pads, Moxie has a product to suit your needs every day of the month. Complete with recyclable and stylish purse-worthy tins and boudoir style boxes (perfect for you bedroom and bathroom shelf!), Moxie aims to make you feel a little bit spoilt, even when you’re probably feeling your worst! Have a beautiful day in hell and spoil yourself with Moxie. Available at Countdown, Woolworths, Foodtown and most New World and Pak N Saves. Tampons available in the Warehouse from mid September - Tampons and Sleepovers RRP $5.49, Scanty Panty Liners RRP $3.95

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Saturday October 11th 11am till 3pm, Gate 7 Hillcrest Road.

Sign up at the WSU Office download an entry form from www.wsu.org.nz Best team Trolley Fastest Trolley Best Team Name Best Dressed Team

Send notices to nexus@waikato.ac.nz before Wednesday, 5 pm. Placing notices is free for students. We don’t always have much space, so get in quick! Notices cannot be any more than 75 words. We will not accept handwritten or non-electronic notices or dictation over the phone – that’s stone-age shit. If you (somehow) don’t have access to email or a computer, come into the offices and use one of our computers to type up your notice. Ta.

RANDOM

021-0263-6420

Cheap Kayak.

Contact ers12@waikato.ac.nz

AIESEC Waikato Inc is a student organization on campus. We are having an Indian night in

French speaker/learner wanted I am trying to learn a song which is in french by the start of december but I have no idea how to pronounce french words. If there is anyone who can help me by slowly reading the words of my song and recording them onto a tape for me so that I can practice them that would be really helpful. Text 0277278529 or 0210670831 if you feel like doing a good deed! Thanks “Studentrent.co.nz The property list for next year is now out!

Visit the accommodation office or www. studentrent.co.nz to view all 100+ listings available. Student Rent is 100% FREE for ALL users.�

WANTED Engineering student to help develop simple prototype Must be on to it.

Easy cash to right person Contact JT

the student lounge on Tuesday 23 September from 6-8pm. There will be speakers, food and discussion. We hope to engage students, staff and members of the community in discussion on relevant issues to do with India and their emerging market etc... Admission is free and so is the food. We would like to invite anyone/everyone from Nexus to attend and enjoy the night. Space is limited so if anyone does want to go could you let me know as soon as possible so that I can put your names down. Thanks.

Fraser Newman External Relations Director AIESEC Waikato Inc AIESEC would like to thank our partners, Print House Ltd, NZICA and HRINZ, for their support.

ROOM FOR SUMMER!! $90p/w Or nearest offer. Located on Hogan st, 2min walk to uni.

Avaliable from beginning of november to end of feb. Sunny spacious house, fully furnished.

Will consider people to rent just over summer school period.

Contact 027 4847911 or email tra10@ students.waikato.ac.nz

FLATS & MATES Flatmates wanted, massive room w/ensuite.

Ideal for couple. $190. 2 friendly male flatmates 21 and 23, Modern 3 bdrm house, 10min walk to town, 2.5 bathrooms, Phone, Broadband, Sky, off street parking, all mod cons. Contact Ben 021569947 or (07)8558500 FLATMATE WANTED ASAP $117 rent p/w excluding expenses. Nice sunny house 2 mins walk to management side of uni. Includes d/washer, 2 garages, 2 bedrooms to choose from, small deck, wireless internet, friendly awesome flatmates! Available now ring or txt Ellen on 0272661155 CHEAP 3 BDRM HOUSE 4RENT $290 a week On Cook St, people in house are going home so need to get out ASAP, close to schools, uni, town and Hamilton East shopping centres, big backyard, tidy flat ready for lease ASAP Contact Kyly Haynes from Lodge 856-4500 or 027 327 2604

> Ĺ–')% 1*/, *$ .* .&$ /(e #*)=. 4'Ĺ› .&$ A,Ĺ? !,'.'-& &'%& "*Ĺ•'Ĺ›'*) $ $0$)')% -+*)-*,$# !1 -. ., 0$>W )1*)$ 3 ).')% .* 3*,( 0*>/).t, *, ., 0$> *0$,-$ - 4/-. Ĺœ$)#W +>/- %$. &$ +- *A ., 0$> #'-"*/).- )# 1*/ "*/># 3') 1*/, A>'%&. .* >*)#*) .& )(- .* /-W -( . 1*/, >*" > -. ., 0$> A*, #$. '>- *, @/4+ *)>')$ A*, 4*,$ ')A* . -. ., 0$> "* )9C!&"$0$)')%

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BOARDING PASS

/$-# 1 [x *".*!$, YGw \GĹ—+4 Äś>$B )#, + ,( , "$3 1 . -4 ) ,r4 %,Ĺ?)> )$ 3$-. ,* # /"(> )#

STATRAVEL CO NZ

35

Am I going to be hung over this weekend?

Without a doubt – so have the water and dissolvable aspirin handy. Do not, however, confuse proper morning-after conduct with what you should do when you’re out. Drinking drinks with little pills dissolving in them may make hangovers worse and will cause rape.

Do my flatmates know what I get up to in the middle of the night?

Signs point to yes – your interests in knives, shovels and Black Sack bags have not gone unnoticed. Plus “digging a swimming pool” and “looking for treasure” are unconvincing explanations. The smell from under the floor is getting worse, too – they’ve noticed, even if you haven’t.

Will reading the Queer Week articles make me gay?

Outlook good – there is a subliminal message in the Queer Week articles that will make you hurl yourself after the same sex in an inappropriate setting. For some reason, this works very well on lecturers, so watch out.

Is Magic 8 Ball a real Magic 8 Ball?

You may rely on it – I’m a real magic 8 ball. That means you wouldn’t want to use me on a pool table. I’d keep embarrassing you by predicting who would win the games. Also, I’m too big to fit in the holes.

Is the guitar in the Nexus offices decreasing productivity?

Yes definitely – some clue to this is the fact that you’re holding the guitar trying to play the lead breaks from the new Kings of Leon album right now as you try to type answers. Also: (Verse) (Palm mute) C#m E Oh Magic 8 Ball/you’re so magical C#m E You’re so accurate/It’s fantastical C#m E Shake me, shake me/I’ll shake you C#m E

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Shake me baby/any way you want to (Bridge) B D I see you shaking that ass B D You give me answers/so witty and fast (Chorus) C#m G C#m Oh, Ball C#m G C#m Oh, Ball C#m G C#m Oh, Ball C#m G C#m Yeah, Ball (Sung a la Billy Corgan, early Smashing Pumpkins style) Is the new WSU President going to behave himself?

Reply hazy, try again – maybe next year, once he’s been in a while. Be comforted with the thought that if things get physically violent, a person of average height should be able to hold him back with one hand while he swings ineffectually. Be careful of biting, though.

My sexual dysfunction is spiralling out of control! Every time I see my girlfriend, I have to insist that he wears diapers and sings the entire score of The Wizard of Oz while dousing himself in vinegar before I can become aroused!

Yes, definitely – you’re looking for Agony Art, buddy. Over the page.

Send questions for the all-knowing 8 Ball to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

At their best they add another dimension to the sports-viewing experience and at their worst they can ruin it altogether.

I speak of course of the commentator. In New Zealand we haven’t always been as well served as we might like from this mob. Keith Quinn was good in his prime, but is now past his best and woefully out of practice. Peter Montgomery seems to be quickly heading in the same direction after he miscalled the finish of the Evers-Swindells race at the Olympics and then repeated the mistake during the Great Race on the Waikato River earlier this month.

Good sports’ commentary requires three fundamentals: first and foremost a broad knowledge base. Not just of the players but an understanding of the game and the tactics employed by teams.

Second is the voice - the deeper the better, a high-pitched voice is irritating.

Lastly a good commentator has to have a style that is his own. This doesn’t come overnight, the very best commentators develop their style over a period of years.

Here is sports thoughts’ definitive top five commentators list: 5. Jason Costigan - The bolter of the five, the much-maligned Costo has been commentating/cheerleading the Warriors’ games for several seasons now. While he hasn’t always been well received over here, Costo stuck to his guns and continued to improve. What Costo lacks in the baritone stakes he makes up for with his knowledge of the players and the game, and his style. Costo’s bread and butter is the catch-phrase.

The ball is ``the steeden’, the goalposts ``the horns’’, an interchange card is a ``boarding pass’’ and an overlap is ``stacks on the mill’’.

4. Henry Blofeld - The doyen of cricket commentary in England, Blowers used to frequent New Zealand TV commentaries back in the days before Sky bought the rights. These days he can be heard exclusively on BBC’s

Test Match Special radio coverage for those who are mad enough to stay up late listening to test cricket on the radio. Blofeld is a true character of the commentary game, concerned as much with crowd antics, seagulls and red wine as he is with the cricket. His poetic descriptions create a vivid picture for the avid cricketing fan.

3. Andrew Saville - Sav will be known to most of you as the man who replaced Tony Veitch as the face of sport at TVNZ. Before his transition to TV he was Radiosport’s number one rugby commentator and the best kept commentary secret in the country. With a booming voice, quickwitted sense of humour and confident style that is his own, Sav leaves the NZ TV’s top rugby commentators for dead. Here’s hoping his stint as sports’ anchor is short-lived so he can return to what he does best - calling the big games.

2. Ian Smith – Smithy cut his teeth as cricket commentator for Sky and has quickly become one of the world’s best. His performance as the lone Kiwi in the recent series against England was truly sensational.

Despite New Zealand being well and truly thumped, Smithy held his own in the banter stakes, paying out the likes of Hussain and Atherton on numerous occasions. His talent transfers nicely to winter code, where he offers invaluable sideline insight.

1. Ray Warren - Rabs calls all the big league games on Australia’s Channel 9. Being teamed with a class lineup that includes Phil Gould and Peter Sterling as expert comments men is a massive advantage, but it wouldn’t matter anyway, Rabs is pure class. He ticks all the boxes: A voicebox so rasping and deep that it could only have been developed with the help of a pack-a-day habit, a knowledge of the players and the game that can only come with more than two decades experience and a style that comes naturally and his is own. When it comes to commentary Rabs is king.

Dear Agony Art I keep striking out in town and end up walking home alone. I pretty much end up hitting the porno when I get home. Is this natural and acceptable or is it a pretty grubby habit?

Bruiser from Wintec Dear Bruiser There is nothing wrong with porn and I’ll stand by that statement until my final crotch-wrestling day. Porn is what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Other animals fight, fuck and eat, but they don’t watch two girls tying each other up while wearing thigh high stockings and stilettos. Hell, animals don’t even vary sexual positions, except for the panda, which have been documented performing missionary, cowgirl and doggy styles in the wilds of China. They do not, however, film it and thus remain firmly lower on the evolutionary scale than humans.

That said, getting addicted to porn in New Zealand is still very hard.

We have some of the most promiscuous women in the world who are exceptionally open to sexual experiences. Never had anal with a girl before? Six Vodka Cruisers will change that. Never had a three way with two sisters? Find some first years from a small town and you’re away.

You don’t need to look at porn in Hamilton, because you can live porn.

University is going to be the most intense bone-festival of your life, so live it up, kids! These girls want experience though; whacking away to some junky Russian whore with three black guys on the net isn’t going to teach you what only a good woman and her nipples can teach you.

The main concern the western world seems to have with porn is that it is habit forming. I personally know several young men who don’t even try to meet girls and instead just rock off to their latest download. The advent of fast, cheap internet and the exponential growth of online porn sites have furthered these men’s problem while giving the casual user an easier path to addiction and self-destructive sexual behaviour.

So, Bruiser from Wintec, porn is not a bad thing, provided you keep your habit well in hand and use plenty of lubricant. Just keep in mind all of the beautiful women out there want sex with guys who know how to arouse and please a real woman. Having regular sex with whatever bleached blond, Nebraska girl is getting nailed in the Bang Bus this week probably won’t give you the skills you need the real world.

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The Problem of Sub-Genre I have problems, more than the usual. How do you define Metal? Things get more complicated when you talk about sub-genre. Disclaimer: I’m taking the piss…don’t go all Man-O-War on me!

Power Metal: Epic songs about Vikings, battles and generally killing people who don’t listen to Metal. Think of Metal-playing hobbits, ultra angry and singing songs about killing Trolls. Then have the band play into a giant fan to get that “hair in the wind” look (just not hobbit toe hair).

Goth Metal: Be the first pre-emptive strike for Emo-kind then deny all knowledge and go back to your coffin.

Progressive Metal: Play just like everyone else, but claim you play it better because you listened to classical music before you started playing Metal, then just mix all the other genres into one song to try and make yours sound new when really you’ve just rehashed previous ideas i.e. post-modernism.

Nu-Metal: A rapper in Metal clothing who hates his parents even though he’s thirty.

Death Metal: Play your instrument at high speed, down tuned, and then sing like cookie monster in a wood chipper – usually about how much you hate God and love Satan.

Hardcore: Sing like the aliens from Mars Attacks and pierce your face so much you can no longer drink through conventional methods and become a Vegan.

Black Metal: Play really fast, screech in between your grunting and um…oh yeah throw in a keyboard and dress up like a vampire, while simultaneously hating all other forms of Metal. Oh yeah and Hail Satan.

First Society of Heavy Metal Fundraiser (Waikato): Student Union Building, 4th October, 7pm, $10. Forthcoming, UTU, Coffinfeeder and I of the Storm \m/

Industrial Metal: Fire your drummer and replace him with a drum machine and add random samples that are generally political in nature and turn it up really really loud.

It’s time I sat down and explained to the general public why, despite the contradictory evidence, they shouldn’t take anything on the internet seriously.

“Zealots”. Zealots are everywhere, and they propagate their thoughts throughout the internet like a sex joke propagates though a middle school. Slow at first, but by the end of the week everyone knows the tale of the 3 (three) sticks that get shoved into a dark hole and made to puke.

While the more commonly found zealots should be obvious to those who’ve been to more than one (1) forum, such as the gaming console zealots (nerds who still think their god-given console is better than a computer) or the Mac/PC/Linux zealots (nerds who still haven’t heard of interoperability), I figured I’d better start informing everyone about the lesser-known types...

The fads-never-die zealots. As much as it pains me to lump them all into this category, I really can’t be bothered explaining how forums about every single frame of Tool Time is analyzed and personalized, or those still stuck arguing whether or not the earth is flat. These are the more specialized type of zealots, and are either very hard or not hard enough to find with a few keywords typed into a search engine.

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The ‘simple concept’ zealots. “Imagine a 747 is sitting on a conveyor belt, as wide and long as a runway. The conveyor belt is designed to exactly match the speed of the wheels, moving in the opposite direction.

Can the plane take off?” Simple eh? It’s too bad that, provided you have a group of 3 people, everyone will come up with a different answer.

Thankfully, these arguments are mostly confined to 4chan boards, and the occasional Bongo sushi session.

The n00bs. Not so much zealots as-per-se, but still as annoying as, or even more so in some cases. These are the people who refuse to learn before diving head in, and once their in, still refuse to learn. It’s like someone who refuses to learn how to tell time using an analog clock, so instead of learning just complains whenever a digital one isn’t avaiable.

And finally, there’s the mindless attention-seeking zealots. The worst kind, they’ll infect the “off-topic” boards of any forum with crap, and will advocate for whatever dumb-fuck idea pops into their head. These people will fight on the internet for the sake of boredom [1], and seek out new places to drain the life of.

[1] And I don’t mean that in the good, Uncyclopedia Flame Warriors way

I went and saw Wall-E last Friday. The movie wasn’t that bad, it was actually rather enjoyable, but the entire movie experience was ruined as I left the theatre, when I was assailed by a large poster advertising the soon-to-be-released High School Musical 3: Senior Year.

Let’s put the needle back for a second, and look at this rationally, even if rational thought doesn’t appear to be one of my greatest strengths.

Do they really need a third one? Ignoring the Law of Sequels, of which you should all be aware, it’s such a shit premise. I don’t know how many of you actually saw the first two movies, but from what I’ve heard, it’s about a bunch of kids who get involved with some old hag’s evil plans to produce a school musical, or something. These kids then proceed to encounter some form of conflict, and then sing through their problems, because that’s how it happens in real life apparently.

Okay, that’s fair enough, but do you need a second and third one? I just read the plot summary on Wikipedia, and it comes down to the two main characters becoming clinically depressed about not being together after leaving high school. So? Fuck it, you meet other people at University, and forget about the other whiny singing bitches.

But I’m not here to complain about the plot (besides which, if Nexus has someone review this shit-heap, there will be fucking murders) (I think I might review it myself. Vanessa Hudgens is mint – Ed) I’m just pissed they’re actually making a third one. Sequels should be reserved for good movies, like Die Hard, Star Wars, and the Lord of the Rings. And the right to make movies in the first place should not be given to people who like musicals. Even Sweeney Todd.

They even compared High School Musical to Grease! They actually called it the new Grease, or the next Grease, or whatever. Except Grease was shit too, so I suppose they at least have some basis for comparison. And unless I’m mistaken, there were only two Grease movies made, so High School Musical, you’re getting a bit ahead of yourself.

On a side note, after writing the above paragraph, I actually found out that they’re making a third Grease movie. Grease 3, apparently set in the 70’s, is going to be as shit as High School Musical. Unless they have Danny Zuko dancing opposite Tony Manero from Saturday Night Fever.

I hate musicals.

You may have voted last week. Well, I’d like to think that you have. In the sense that I’d like to think that people who read this column are the kind of people that would go and vote, even if it’s for the sake of voting. There; I’ve just judged every single person who has read this far, and with remarkable efficiency (I keep hearing that you read this stuff; the editor says so, and I get harassed pretty frequently at work from people who claim to enjoy it). So how do you feel after voting? Are you terrified that you picked the wrong one? Kind of like if you were playing monopoly and you accidentally picked the Top Hat instead of the Car. Top Hats are nowhere near as fast as Cars, and they don’t look as cool parked outside my hotels.

time playing a three way game of Monopoly with my selves instead. It was a pretty cool game, but I got owned by my future selves because they only bought the properties they knew I’d land on. I’m trying to forget how the game went so that when I go back things are fairer on past-vitaminC, but I know that I won’t succeed so I’m going to stop trying.

Having made decisions, are you terrified that you can’t go back and change them? That you’ve defined the Road Not Taken? Terrified that if you did go back and change them, you’d meet a past version of yourself? Or even worse, that you’ll get arrested by JC Van Damme? I know I am. And I haven’t even made the decision yet (the booths open 4 hours from when I’m writing this). But at least I’m thinking about [my] future (your past), while addressing you in your present. That should confuse Jean-Claude long enough for me to get my vote in, meet my future self, come back to now with a copy of this column, and spend the

Update: would you fucking believe it; I thought I’d fuck around a bit so I hid from future-vitaminC at the voting booth, and when I went to submit my column to Nexus the USB stick was empty. I had to run home to my laptop where the file was still open (thank god), copy it onto the stick again, and take it back to Nexus. I then went for a coffee, and lost my USB stick by the voting booth, so I’m back down to one. I’m now at Nexus writing this last paragraph, and creepily I’m just reaching my word limit. Fuck the Road Not Taken.

This makes interesting reading. I’m not even typing it. I just copied it off my (future) USB stick (I have two now!), and I’m proofreading it and also skimming it out of interest before I copy it onto my (present) USB stick to take to Uni. That is all I have to say about Hamilton this week.

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My earliest memory is of my dad reading to me. Richard Scarry’s Busy, Busy World was a particular favourite, my dad’s cunning substitution of the wrong words on the ‘Castle in Denmark’ page (such as: ‘All witches must put their broomsticks in the fridge’ instead of ‘...cupboard’), ensuring that I learnt to read by the age of four so that I could prove he had got it wrong.

This early passion for books has been a constant throughout my life. Walking into a bookshop invariably results in a thrill of excitement; so many possibilities and so many potential worlds to enter. I love the layers of sensory pleasure in reading: the visual lure of the front cover, the tactile pleasure of holding a book, the musty smell of an old book or the crisp allure of a new book. Even more exciting is opening the first page of a book and being drawn into the author’s realm. A book can be a refuge or escape from too much reality, an emotional or intellectual adventure, or a challenge to look at myself and the world I inhabit with fresh eyes and new insights.

Not all books beckon in the same way.

Fiction is my particular delight. I am addicted to narrative (it even trumps my obsession with chocolate), with a particular passion for literary fiction, detective fiction, thrillers, historical novels and chick lit. I am also happy to satisfy my addiction through the medium of film and its visual and aural dimensions to storytelling.

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I feel incredibly fortunate to have a job which is so intimately bound up with stories. At the moment several of the papers I am teaching focus specifically on the way stories are told and their emotional impact on readers (and viewers). A highlight this year has been my second year Comedy paper which provided much fun, laughter and quotable witty epigrams, such as Oscar Wilde’s: ‘To love oneself is the start of a lifelong romance.’

The third year paper I am currently teaching on Tragedy is more of a challenge. One student recently used the phrase ‘a feast of misery, death, despair’ to describe the course content.

I have apparently driven some students to wearing black and drinking gin in the morning!

I look forward to the animated discussions and debates which each class bring.

In my first year Page to Screen class we are looking at a range of film adaptations of written texts, from the adventures of the Dark Knight, to the dystopian darkness of Children of Men, to the decadent delights of Chocolat.

The other first year paper I am currently convening, Old Worlds - New Worlds covers everything from Chinese martial arts films, to Orientalist art, to the birth of jazz. I have even managed to sneak my current research passion into the course. I have just finished writing a book on the cultural history of the piano in colonial New Zealand and so my students will be reading of the loss of Mrs Fulton’s piano as it crossed the Taieri River on a canoe and the ingenious hollowing out of a grand piano as a hiding place for rum in prohibition Masterton.

Dr Kirstine Moffat is a lecturer in English in the Deprtment of Humanities

Spore: Creatures (DS)

By Antony Parnell

Spore Creatures is the Nintendo DS incarnation of the much hyped Spore. While not as in depth as the PC release, it is a stand alone title for the DS and thus avoids any of the DRM business that has overshadowed the long awaited arrival of Spore. The premise of this game is to chase an alien who has stolen your friend “Oogie”, by following him across different planets and evolving your creature along the way.

the game yet, but so far a lot of puzzles have involved throwing rocks at things, so I can see that getting old fast.

The graphics are very Nintendo, with most of the creatures having a very cute/wacky vibe coming from them. The creatures have a 2d side on design in a 3d world, making it feel very much like a cartoon. None of the creatures look at all threatening, and it’s not until a large exclamation point appears above their head that you think they might kick your ass and not give you a hug.

The creature creator is one of the big selling points of the game, and for the most part works well. Through the course of solving puzzles and completing goals in the game, new parts you can attach to your creature are unlocked. There is a lot of freedom with the parts, allowing you to dictate whether your creature runs around on eight spider like legs, or marches around on two tree trunks. That kind of personalisation is great, but in the actual game there is a lot of focus on combat which forces you to be choosy with your parts.

I find to get the most combat prowess from my creature involves sticking as many arms and tails on as I can and that somewhat limits the aesthetics.

The gameplay revolves around exploring the various worlds, interacting with the different creatures and solving puzzles. It took me a few levels to get used to how things worked, but I found the more I played the more I was getting drawn in. Puzzles are quite simple and often involving befriending a species and helping them in some way. After you find some creatures who like the way you dance (seriously), you can bring them along and beat down any monsters that are looking at you funny. Admittedly I haven’t completed

There are several achievements you can earn in the game, which allow you to access rare parts and unlock cheats. This provides some good replay ability for those people who need 100% completion in their games, but I’m not sure if everyone will be that desperate to unlock every last tail and eyeball. Overall, Spore Creatures is a unique and enjoyable game for the DS. If you have the PC to run it you probably want to check out Spore first, but as its own game on the DS it is a solid adventure/puzzle title, so give it a go.

“The creature creator is one of the big selling points of the game, and for the most part works well. Through the course of solving puzzles and completing goals in the game, new parts you can attach to your creature are unlocked”

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The Life and Death of Laura Friday and of Pavarotti her parrot.

Author: David Murphy Publisher: Penguin $26.99

then looses it and his heart to the feisty and determined Frankie, the hot shot journo from London sent to cover the action.

Fitz’s revenge is sweet; he writes a best selling novel, basing his assassin lead character Laura Friday on the bewitchingly beautiful Frankie.

Reviewed by Kelly Badman A severed penis, a femme fatale assassin, broken hearts, cannabis and convent girls – first time author, New Zealand’s own David Murphy packs them all into his farcical comedic romp.

And it’s a cracker read.

When the local electrician’s boy bits are cut off in a coffee table accident only to be saved by a selfless transplant offer from his transgender brother, the world media descend on the sleepy fiction New Zealand town of Bullock for the story.

But writing a string of novels based on your broken heart means that Frankie is always with him. So Fritz decides to do something about it.

A former policeman and advertising executive, David Murphy has written a stellar debut “bloke-lit” novel that is packed full of laughs, outlandish situations and even more outlandish characters.

Sure, you have to suspend belief in a Forrest Gump kind of way (it’s the first time I have ever heard of a swearing, dope-growing Nun) but who cares when you can be so deliciously and thoroughly entertained that you frequently snort with laughter?

Fitz Kennedy is an aspiring writer and journalist for the Bullock Telegraph who gets the scoop

The Shopper’s Food Fact Guide Author: Michael Larsen Publisher: Penguin $16.99

Reviewed by Katie Stone These days, trying to decipher the labels on food packaging is an arduous task. Some knowledge and patience is required just to read the labels, let alone understand exactly why one product is more or less nutritious than another. Often, many of us just don’t bother.

For those who are concerned about the quality of the food we eat, this handy little book makes for excellent reading. In a witty and readable commentary, Michael Larsen discusses the facts and the fiction surrounding supermarket food. He delves into the ongoing debate over politics and legislation, and explains exactly what manufacturers do – and don’t – mention on labels as required by the Food Standards Guide.

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By taking some well-known examples – Tim Tams, luncheon sausage and Coca Cola – the author explains the scientific gobbledegook in layman’s terms. He makes light reading of the truth about additives – the colours, preservatives and flavours we’re all aware of but know nothing about.

The technical terms are explained by categorising ingredients into tables. This helps readers to understand the difference between a synthetic and a natural ingredient.

Although he doesn’t actually tell us whether or not to avoid artificial ingredients in our food, he does make sense of the hype. Rather than focusing on whether artificial ingredients are “bad” or or cause harm, he lays out the facts and allows readers to make their own decisions.

If you’ve ever wondered about the butylated hydroxyanisole in your peanut butter, this book should provide some answers.

Jean Renoir in the 1930s Few directors have achieved such a sustained run of form as Jean Renoir did in the 1930s.

The son of the nineteenth century impressionist painter Auguste Renoir, his career began in the mid 1920s and includes a least one silent feature of significance. However, the core of an oeuvre which extended until the end of the 1960s is the work made between 1931 and 1939.

Socialist in outlook, Renoir’s films are always informed by a sense of class. His early satirical gem “Boudu Saved From Drowning” critiques the bourgeois lifestyle by contrasting the overly comfortable existence of an aging book seller with that of suicidal tramp. The businessman’s efforts to save the reprobate from himself and ‘educate’ him in middle class ways lead initially to social embarrassment (the tramp spits on a precious Balzac first edition and wipes his boots on a silk bedspread) and then to surprising cuckoldry (the tramp sleeps with both the man’s wife and servant mistress).

The final scenes, in which Boudu deliberately

sabotages his own bourgeois wedding, choosing a return to itinerant existence over materialism and respectability, see Renoir’s politics blend with the kind of romanticisation of street life found in Chaplin.

French railway system. A psychopathic engine driver, aware of his murderous inclinations but unable to bring them consistently under control, is drawn into a love triangle with a minor bureaucrat and his pretty, femme fatale wife. Again, Renoir’s all embracing sympathy for his characters elevates the crime thriller to the level of tragedy.

Renoir’s last three 1930s releases improve on even this standard. “The Grand Illusion” is a World War I POW drama of lyricism and wit, celebrating camaraderie in the military both

Finally, with “Rules of the Game”, Renoir puts his stamp on the whole pre-war era. Part social satire, part romance, part out right farce, its upstairs/downstairs story of sexual intrigues at a country estate ends on a violent note befitting the coming hostilities. For

within and across nationalistic lines. Patriotism and duty are seen as nonsensical given that senior officers on opposing sides have more in common which each other than with members of their own, respective armies. Indeed, the war itself is deemed almost inconsequential in the context of broader social trends or the love felt between individuals.

all that it attacks the moral bankruptcy of a nation about to put up little resistance to Hitler, Renoir’s more profound theme is one he directly expresses himself on screen: that we all ‘have our reasons’. It is the ultimate humanist credo, alluding to an all forgiving perspective on human weakness evident throughout the director’s long career.

“The Human Beast” is a much darker work, a proto film noir set against a backdrop of the

All films mentioned may be rented from Auteur House.

refuse to act as two forty year old men should.

It sounds like a reasonably weak concept, but Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly manage to pull it off. It may have something to do with them both having very small eyes and receding hairlines.

and then recycled those jokes for the next hour and a half. Sure, the jokes were funny in different situations, but they were the same jokes. He wrestles an animal, just like in his previous two films. He dressed like an adult but acted like a child, just like most movies he’s done. One breath of fresh air in the film was Will Ferrell’s ball sack. That’s right, I saw the whole damn thing, right on a drum kit.

Step Brothers Starring: Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly

Reviewed by Art Focker Last week I asked Josh what movie I should go see. He said I couldn’t go see Taken, because it was a Bourne rip off. Then he said I couldn’t go see Wall-E because he wanted to see it and I always wreck the ends of movies for him.

Finally, the only other movie to come out lately, Step Brothers, was out of bounds because apparently Will Ferrell is shit.

So, realizing that Josh wanted me to go and review no movies, I decided he could kiss my beautiful and hairy little ass. (All the rest is true, but that never happened. It never will – Ed) In desperation, I went to seek out A.J.’s opinion on recent cinematic developments. He and Scatman both agreed that Step Brothers was the go.

Step Brothers is about two fully grown men who still live with their single parents and

I thought Will Ferrell was dead in the water after Talladega Nights and Semi-Pro. Turns out I was half right. He’s not that funny anymore. I don’t care what you say about him being funny once upon a time, because he’s just using the same jokes now. The same vocal alterations, the same baby talk, the same “ow, that really hurt” statements, as if the audience can’t tell what hurts.

He’s quickly running out of jokes. This movie ran out of jokes in the first twenty minutes,

All in all, this movie had the audience laughing a lot of the time. I laughed too, but I felt dirty for laughing at it. It was worse than laughing at re-runs of Friends, but better than laughing at Two and a Half Men. Go and see it if you love Will Ferrell and think his jokes are always fresh. They’re not and this movie will remind you of that.

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How can I make new again what rusts every time it rains?

Forgot to inform y’all that the Live Music Trust held its third official meeting two Monday’s ago. I was not in attendance but I can tell you what happened because I have read the minutes. The main matter up for discussion was how to prioritise and streamline the points raised by the Live Music Forum. It was decided that the top three priorities were accessible and affordable venues and tangible and efficient promotional pathways for live music in Hamilton. In the matter of how to re-engage the community, it was agreed that in creating a decent, well structured

kind of action group for the Trust, was set up and includes Rob Shirlow, Scott Newth, Pippa Russell and Naomi Tuao.

With work on the Trust Deed nearing completion the structure of the Live Music Trust is nearly all in place ensuring a solid foundation is laid for its objectives to be built upon. For further information on the Live Music Trust check out www.hcac.org.nz and follow the links.

The gig guide is of course there for your perusal and be sure to check out the Band Experiments Heat 3 this week at Flow Bar, preview of which is available in these pages too.

and well supported venue with concomitant workable systems of promotion this would have a natural flow on effect of interesting the greater public in Hamilton’s live music scene.

The national Venue Audit that had been initiated was given a deadline for completion and to date this exercise has brought some interesting, revealing and ultimately very helpful information.

In housekeeping, Scott Ratuki was installed as Chairperson, Nick Johnson as Secretary and Terry Edwards as Treasurer. A venues sub-committee, a

Song of the week: “She’s Always a Woman to Me”, by Billy Joel, off the album Stranger (1977).

METALLICA

CANSAI DE SER SEXY

Death Magnetic (1) (Vertigo)

Donkey (2) (Sub Pop)

This album starts promisingly enough with a fat crunchy riff unmistakeably Kirk Hammett’s and the overall sound is a lot broader as if Metallica have embraced the stadium rock era. The initial signs also have one preparing for a welcome return to the classic days of Master of Puppets and …And Justice For All. It is short-lived, however. Though Ulrich has finally livened up his snare sound that god-awful clicky kicker is still there, Hetfield’s lyrics, which may have worked in the mid 80s – “What don’t kill ya make ya more strong!” (?!) don’t wash in this millennium, and the songs themselves state their case well initially but then drag on as if unsure of an ending. It sometimes feels like they tack on another middle 8 and chorus just so Hammett can play the requisite solo using the E minor pentatonic scale.

There are some real moments of greatness too, the aforementioned first song is ear-catching, the single “The Day that Never Comes” has probably the best balance of song shred outro, finishing with a master class in hammer on hammer off in a blues scale. Piano and cello are a nice addition in “Unforgiven III” but gees Louise can’t we get over that grunge crossover song already? And the old skool instrumental returns in the form of “Suicide and Redemption”, which is rather groovable, and if nothing else, gives us a break from Hetfield’s digitized vocals. It is a kind of return to the heavier end of the rock ledger for Metallica but all ‘n’ all this is an album for the die hard fan who kept listening even after the zenith of the Black Album.

The most interesting thing about this band is how they came to get their name. It was taken from a reported quote by Beyonce who allegedly declared that she was “tired of being sexy”. A second interesting thing about the band, for trainspotters out there, is that their new drummer is Jon Harper from the band Cooper Temple Clause, here he is hard to recognise behind the production and pop. And my third and final bit of useless information is that Der Sexy’s song “Off the Hook” features on the Play Station game FIFA 08, which I play far too much of. I have noted these trivial vignettes of info because there is not much to say about the music. It is derivative 80s synth pop rock with dashes of new wave, there are no distinguishing features to it. It could be anyone.

I recommend you buy Blondie and The Pretenders and if they sit in your stomach all right graduate to some hard out Aha and Duran Duran before taking on Ultravox.

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Mammoth Band Experiments - Heat 3 @ Flow 270 Victoria St HAMILTON CENTRAL DOORS OPEN 8pm STARTS AT 9pm October 2 Unity Pacific @ Flow 270 Victoria St, HAMILTON CENTRAL DOORS OPEN 9pm October 4

Mammoth Band Experiments - Grand Final! @ Flow 270 Victoria St HAMILTON CENTRAL DOORS OPEN 8pm STARTS AT 9pm October 16 Reb Fountain ‘Holster’ Tour @ Flow 270 Victoria St HAMILTON CENTRAL DOORS OPEN 9pm October 17

Needles and Bees, Small Town Heroics + Dynamo Go @ Ward Lane Ward Lane, Hamilton DOORS OPEN 8pm October 9

Sinate @ Altitude 30 Alexandra St HAMILTON CENTRAL DOORS OPEN 9pm October 17

Mammoth Band Experiments - Heat 4 @ Flow 270 Victoria St HAMILTON CENTRAL DOORS OPEN 8pm STARTS AT 9pm October 9

Walrora, Gawj, Congaline + Damsels @ Ward Lane Ward Lane, Hamilton DOORS OPEN 8pm October 18

dDub Early Early Summer Tour @ Flow 270 Victoria St HAMILTON CENTRAL DOORS OPEN 9pm October 11

Recent Works by Pauline Tapping On line exhibition. Pauline is a member of Artnexus, a collective of Waikato visual artists.

Wed 01 Oct 2008 - Fri 31 Oct 2008 Cost: free Time: 24/7 Online exhibition

Where: www.artnexus.co.nz, Further details: Yvonne Anscombe 07 828 9010 yvonnea@slingshot.co.nz Launched! New Zealand’s First Disability Pride Film Festival The Hamilton Disability Pride Film Festival will be running for a three week period in November 2008. It is the first of its kind in New Zealand. Film in this context is the vehicle for building a community consciousness, raising awareness, bringing people together from all walks of life, enabling and networking, inspiring, entertaining.

Wed 12 Nov 2008 - Wed 03 Dec 2008 Cost: Free Time: Every Wednesday and Saturday evening between 12 November and 3 December Where: The Meteor, 1 Victoria Street Further details: Chris McMaster 07-850-8965 chris.mcmaster@minedu.govt.nz RE:FRACTION RE:FRACTION the annual outdoor glass sculpture exhibition at The Sculpture Park at Waitakaruru Arboretum.

Sat 04 Oct 2008 - Sun 16 Nov 2008 Cost: $10 Time: Open Daily, 10am until dusk Where: The Sculpture Park @ Waitakaruru Arboretum, 207 Scotsman Valley Road, 15 km East of Hamilton

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BAR 101