Page 1

Issue 21 路 18 September 2006

ALSO: 2007 WSU Candidates 路 Bisexuality 路 Girls Kissing

A woman, Mavis, walks into Pak N Save to do some shopping. She takes a trolley, and places in the trolley: 1 toothbrush, 1 bread roll, 1 slice of ham, 1 piece of cheese, 1 small tomato, 1 small bottle of Coke, 1 small bottle of milk, 1 lollipop, 1 chocolate bar and 1 single serve microwave meal. When she gets to the checkout, the man scans all of the products and then looks up at Mavis. “Single are we?” he asks. Mavis blushes and grins sheepishly. “Yes. How did you guess?” The man replies, “You’re fuckin ugly.” Contributed by Adam Weal (wins a bottle of Sprite and Coke. Come ‘n’ geddit).

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. Contributed by Gary Oliver (‘Apologies for these in advance’).

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006

Send your Jerk Jokes to and win prizes!


Harriet and Kim 1. Each other! 2. Possibly? H: Yeah, I’m quite happy. K: Careful, people might think we’re gay. H: I don’t care. 3. No (both). 4. H: Sure am. K: Definitely. 5. H: I always read the letters. And what’s that other thing I like? (Discussion ensues. We think it might be Boganology). I read it all actually. Except the back page.

Ryley 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

That I’ve nearly lasted a whole year at uni. Sure I’m feeling happy, it’s a nice sunny day. Yeah. Yes. Uncle Jim’s sudoku.

By Dawn 1. 2. 3. 4.

What’s one thing you’re proud of? Are you feeling gay today? Ever kissed somebody of the same sex? Will you be voting in the WSU elections this week? 5. Favourite part of Nexus?

Neil 1. That I’m working and studying at the same time. 2. Nah. 3. My dad? 4. Yes. 5. Heaps. The last page, the news articles.

Nudity in Nexus is...

What do you think of the Coke mural?

Very Offensive

It cheers up the campus, so quit moaning 3% / 1 Vote

You should blur it at least, it’s kinda gross To vote on the current weekly poll, point your internet browser to: You don’t need to sign up to vote, either! But signing up will make you cooler...

1. Coming to uni 2. As in happy, yep. Not the other one though. 3. A family member. 4. Yes, I will. 5. I got 5 on it.

13% / 4 Votes

Doesn’t bother me 34% / 10 Votes

Yay nakedness! More please 48% / 14 Votes People love the cock! And the titties. Makes it even funnier that we censored all those nipples and things last week, eh?

20% / 5 Votes

It’s nice but I’d rather it wasn’t Coke 28% / 7 Votes

Paint it out and bring on the art! 40% / 10 Votes

I’d rather have a blank wall 12% / 3 Votes

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006


Yeah, there’s two of them this week!


It is a nice addition of colour to the campus, but apparently people would like to see something with more ‘heart’ there.



Party Review

By Skot and JR

Yeah Ya! 18 - legal, but for what exactly..? This week’s party review is brought to you by the numbers 18, 50 and of course the number 3. It all began at the invitation of another 18th birthday party. JR got himself quite excited about breaking in some more town virgins. However the night took some unexpected twists along the way. We arrived at the party fairly early with the birthday girl extremely excited about the prosect of gaining access to the exclusive Hamilton nightlife. So excited in fact that we went to a bar (that will remain un-named) before actually making it to town. As the party was amalgamating around the front of the bar, one of the party-goers announced the idea of everyone having a gamble in the gaming lounge that the bar provided. This is when all the trouble began. In hindsight I can see how avoidable the situation could be been. Nevertheless, the following is what took place. A middle aged couple (lets call them Mr and Mrs Chang) were peacefully minding their own business, when one of the “rowdier” party goers decided to cheekily throw an empty can at their screen. After this the couple stormed out of the gaming lounge, knocking one of the female party-goers over and causing an uproar among the party. The party then followed the Changs outside and started a fight. Luckily the 5-0 arrived to sort things out. I was thinking ‘finally, some sensibility to the night’. This was until a couple of the party-goers asked Mr Plod for his badge number and rank. Unfortunately Mr Plod didn’t like giving out this “top secret” information and those that chose to ask the question got a ride in Mr Plod’s car and taken back to his house for “further questioning”. The rest of us who weren’t lucky enough to go with Mr Plod continued drinking back at the party and went into town. There were some definite lessons to be learnt at this 18th, I just wish I had learnt what they were. Oh well till next time kids - put your cans in the bin and don’t ask too many questions.

Top three quotes

Umm, feel free to say no to this but... would you mind shaving my coin purse? Hey if I show you my cock, will you take a picture of it and put it in Nexus?

Party Rating: 3/10

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Box, toaster, aluminium, maple syrup... no, I take that one back. I’m gonna hold onto that one.

Txt me anytime (after 7am) 0274 279319 and JR and myself will review your party.



Dawn Tuffery DESIGNER

Matt Scheurich

CONTENTS Pride Week 2006 Girls who like boys who… - Sexual continuums Takataapui Korero I Like Girls – Short story Bisexuality: Straddling the Fence Kate Sheppard




Michelle Coursey Megan Moffet and Google, NZAF, Jessica Ritchie, ‘Gay girl’ COVER

Ben Thomson Contributors this issue: Andrew Neal, Mazzy, Roy Crawford, Nick Elliot, Boulanger, Skot, Matt, Evelyn Millar, Brie Jessen, Burton C. Bogan, Leigh McGeady, The Panther, Special K and Vitamin C, Nick Chester, M. Emery, Gary Oliver, Hazazel, Kazuma Namioka, Joe Citizen, Josh Drummond, ASPA, WSU.



8-13 Candidates’ Mass Debate Get a job and afford a real hair cut Free money! (If you die) Something about Studentville Labour: Decline in voluntary loan repayments English: Tertiary bureaucracy spending doubles WSU Exec denied Union member details Warning: Contains adult content Coxless pair kick ass Nexus Haiku News


Tony Arkell

Joshua ‘John Paul’ Drummond


17 18 20 22 23 46


03 I’ve got 5 on it

36 Split Decision

05 Party Review

37 Boganology 101

07 Editorial

37 Classic Rock Review

14 Lettuce

38 Uncle Jim

26 WSU columns

39 Comics

24 Gig Guide

40 Chuck and Benjo’s Guide To Society

25 The Player

40 Femme Fatale

34 Killing Time

42 Citric

34 Rage In A Cage

43 DVDs

35 Word Freak

44 Books

35 Engine Talk

45 Film

36 Muscle Man’s Tips

47 Busted

Thanks to Helen Donnison. Nexus: Bonny and blithe, good and gay.

Visit The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily the views of Nexus Publications 2003 Ltd, any of our advertisers, WSU or APN Media. Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

Editorial By Dawn

Straight, but in a happy way ‘Are you feeling gay today?’ I queried students today, for page 3. ‘Sure, but just in a happy way’ was the standard response. I guess that includes me too. I still think Cerys Matthews is stunning, but otherwise I guess I’m straight until proven gay. However, despite being underqualified, I’ve been reading up for this issue. In her thoughtprovoking The Meaning Of Wife, Anne Kingston talks about the explosion of ‘lesbian chic’ in the early 90s; kd lang got shaved by Cindy for the cover of Vanity Fair, lesbians were lauded as the ultimate fish without bicycles and LUGs (Lesbians Until Graduation) emerged as a collegiate stereotype. Nowadays, modern attention spans apparently mean that curious young women tend to embrace more of a LUTFDC (Lesbians Until The Free Drinks Come) approach.

shoulders. Lesbian friends then tell her there’s nothing they hate more than a LUG – having fun experimenting, possibly at the expense of a lesbian for life (LFL), without any of the accompanying repercussions or discrimination. Can’t win, huh? GLBT Officer Megan Moffet talks about continuums elsewhere in this issue – accepting that human sexuality can be placed at any point on a line drawn between ‘raging hetero’ and those who tjuzs their pink designer sleeves. It seems a good way to approach such a flexible aspect of humanity. Whether you think our sexuality is all determined via the head, genes, upbringing, deity or mood, you might as well be whatever you are in a ‘happy way’.

and to students heading to Ruapehu or Wellies. The 20% discount for the latter is a good start, and hey, they could advertise in student mags and everything.

The big O.

This is where I plaintively exhort you to have your say and make sure you vote this week, yada yada yada. But I’m sure you will, and besides, you’ll be told to at least 579 more times this issue. This exec election is one of the more interesting ones I’ve seen in recent times – more candidates, more variety, more student interest. It’d be nice to keep that going with a record turnout at the polls. We will see.

My research on the LUG phenomenon soon brought up an article in Cincinnati’s CityBeat magazine ‘Confessions of a LUG’. The author

Last time I went on the Overlander was to attend the Fringe Film Festival in Wellington. The most affordable way to get 20 students 520 kilometres was to chuck em on the train at 11pm to chug down the island overnight. It wasn’t the most luxurious trip. The seats weren’t conducive to comfortable sleep and it seemed

speaks of falling for the gorgeous female editor of the university student magazine, as you do. They become close friends and then ‘something more’ after getting drunk. The author has a few more dalliances with women and

like a very long night. Despite this, waking up while going through the snow in full moonlight was eerily beautiful. I didn’t get travel sick, and the experience as a whole was epic enough to remain memorable.

gets pressured from friends to do the serious ‘political’ thing and come out. However, she soon decides that breasts can’t compare to manly

Do people still have the patience for epic experiences? Tourists might, apparently. The

By Matt I’ve never been one for not worrying. I worry about everything, be it how people perceive me to “will my family and/or friends get home safe tonight?” My worrying is perhaps because of

a lack of confidence in whatever I am worrying about. I also tend to be fussy about outcomes, especially ones where I can’t control, like say for instance, giving someone else free reign to do a design job for me. If I do give someone that job, it’s because I trust them completely and there are very few who I do trust in that respect.

WSU Executive Elections – On Now

I’ll leave the last wise words to the voices drifting in from the other office: ‘Holy shit! She can put her ass on her head!’ – Josh ‘When it comes to sex, I like Half-Life.’ - Josh ‘I still have a red hot chilli in my pants.’ - Matt

Anyway, with that heavy shit said, I also tend to not usually be the serious type. I’d prefer people not take me seriously because it aleviates some of my own personal worry (at least, I feel it does anyway). I never mean any harm and I’m never out for personal gain. Life’s all about mistakes, I guess.

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Designer’s Wank

call to hook up some good marketing and let the Overlander have a decent shot at making cash for a couple of years makes sense to me. Despite claims that NZers have already voted with their feet by not using the service, the decision to dump it has hardly been the most consultative process. Revamp the train and the line. Update the website to be more intuitive and attractive. Put in some decent bunks for budget travellers doing the overnight thing. Push the service to tourists


Candidates’ Mass Debate By Andrew Neal

The WSU executive candidates debate last Wednesday provided prospective union representatives an opportunity to convince students how good they’d be for the student body – as well as the chance to air their opponents’ dirty laundry. Many exciting issues were raised including student representation, cohesion within the WSU, student lifestyle and culture, union fees, declining rolls, University fees, politics and even how crap the WSU logo is. There was strong participation from the large number of students watching the debate, making this election one of the most hotly contested in recent times.

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Electoral candidates were an eclectic bunch - incumbents returning for re-election or jockeying for new positions, people working in groups, people from class representative backgrounds, as well as others who were new to student politics.

The speeches and ideas of each aspirant ranged from the radical to the conventional, making debates between them and the student body heated and a good watch. Some political argybargy did occur, with some of the candidate’s ethnicities being brought up, but generally the dialogue was kept to union issues. The speeches began with the potential presidents delivering their ideas on how they would improve student representation through the union. The ideas ranged from improved beer coverage, improved financial management within the WSU, greater advocacy and representation for students and the need to institute greater student body cohesiveness.

The Presidential candidates were asked questions about the union’s strategic plan and reasons why the plan was only in its draft stages. A lack of cohesiveness within the WSU was also a talking point. Debate also occurred between members of the crowd and Kahu Nikora over some comments made to a Nexus reporter earlier this year. Nikora’s reply was that he was “bloody angry” and that we all have a human side and he was just expressing his. Sehai Orgad drew some laughter with her entreaty to “don’t be hatin’”. The role of Vice President or “the lap doggie for the top doggie” as described by one speaker, was also hotly contested, with 5 candidates going for the role. The issue of fees was brought up once again. At one stage, competition grew so heated that Megan Moffet offered to bribe the crowd. BOC representative Martin also stirred up some interest, admitting that he was not “100% clued up” about what being a union representative involved, but assuring the crowd he was up to the job. The other positions on the WSU executive including Maori Students, Mature Students, Women’s Rights, GLBT, Disabled, Environmental, Education, Finance and Campaigns Officers were not contested as intensely as president and vice-president, with no one even speaking for the position of GLBT officer. However, despite the lack of competition in some areas all candidates were passionate about what they had to bring to the union.

Quotes of the day “What we need is a national front” – Kahu Nikora “Don’t be hatin’ ” – Sehai Orgad “I said, I felt like taking his head off!” – Kahu “I have no political agenda” – Carl Gordon “If I have to bribe you I will” – Megan Moffat “Where my fuckin’ Asians at?” – student calling for more Asian and international student representation at the WSU “Vote BOC” – entire speech of Ana Moriaty, Women’s Rights officer candidate “Issues with Asians like that guy before” – Liam Kerr (BOC) “What we need here is love, sweet love” – Liam “They’re a bunch of wankers, basically” – Liam “B-I-N-G-O!” – Whetu and Pene

Voting for the elections opens Monday and runs for 3 days until Wednesday. Booths are open from 10am to 4pm each day and can be found around campus. WHAT IS THIS IN THE LAKE?

Get A Job And Afford A Real Haircut By Josh Drummond

Students at New Zealand’s tertiary institutions earned a record $88 million from jobs gained through Student Job Search (SJS). The result saw student earnings jump $11 million for the year ending 30 June 2006. Student hourly earnings also increased by 4.8%, up from $11.87 to $12.45. “The team at Student Job Search are thrilled with the record $88 million of earnings that has been achieved for students. As a student owned and governed organisation many students directly benefit from the service provided by SJS,” said Conor Roberts, National Chair of Student Job Search. “For many students, the extra money they earn through SJS is what helps them get through study,” Roberts said. The Waikato has also seen greater earnings for students through SJS. Earnings in Hamilton increased from 4.8 million to 5.6 million, and the average hourly rate in Hamilton is $11.97 - up from $11.33 form the year before, according to Barry

Free money! (If You Die) By Joshua Drummond

Dowell, the National Marketing Manager for SJS. “It’s great to see that students are earning so much money through SJS,” said Dowell. “We’re now the 3rd income support measure for students, after loans and allowances. A lot of people might not realise we do that volume of work, as well as having free membership.” Waikato Students Union President Sehai Orgad said that the earnings report was “awesome.” “I think it’s fantastic that a partly student funded and owned organisation is succeeding and providing services that benefit students nationwide,” she said. “SJS Waikato just got a new regional manager who is running things brilliantly, and the statistics have shown that student job-hunting in Waikato and the Bay of Plenty is becoming more successful. It’s all going very well.”

Student Job Search is looking forward to another year of helping students into jobs and helping employers find the people they need in the workplace,” Mr Roberts concluded.” Barry Dowell said that now was a good time for students to pick up a well-paying job for the holidays. “Hot tip? Get online and enrol now for SJS. There are some really cool jobs – and some really cool hourly rates. They can look for jobs in their hometowns as well,” he said.

Conor Roberts said Student Job search was aiding the New Zealand’s workforce by providing workers who could “plug skill gaps.”

Student Job Search is a not for profit organisation owned and run by local Students Associations. It is funded by student associations and the Government, via StudyLink.

AIL representative, or place in a box at WSU reception.

expect other unions to follow suit. I think the test of how good a thing it is will be how many students take it up,” he said.

The only requirements are that the student be a member of the Waikato Students Union – which shouldn’t be a problem for many, as membership is compulsory - and that they fill out a form, which they can mail, return to a

NZUSA Co-president Joey Randall also gave the service a cautious endorsement, saying that “any free service provided by a student union is a good thing.” “If there’s a demand for this sort of thing, we’d

Students asked about the measure were interested, if unenthusiastic. Andrew Neal, a Bachelor of Arts student, said that he probably wouldn’t bother with enrolling in the scheme. “It’s not a bad idea, but it’s only a grand. I mean, how many students die while they’re at uni? Plus, I’ve already got life insurance,” he said. Other insurance plans offered at a discount for students by AIL include “childsafe kits,” and family insurance plans, which Sehai said “could be good for mature students and students with children.” American Income Life is an American insurer owned by Torchmark Corporation, a Fortune 400 Platinum company. It claims to insure over 300,000 people in New Zealand and 4 million internationally.

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006

AIL will be providing the insurance coverage, in a deal which is believed to be a first for a tertiary student’s union. Additional coverage for accidental death, up to $5000 per student, is available for $1 per year, and this is renewable for $2.50 per year.

WSU President Sehai Orgad said that the deal was another service that would benefit students – albeit in a somewhat indirect way, as students themselves would be unlikely to enjoy the benefits of a payout. “It’s a New Zealand first, and another service for our students which [the WSU] are delighted to be able to provide.” She stressed that the service would not be costing students any extra in levies or fees from the Student Union. “It’s definitely not going to cost students any extra in levies – [the $1000 coverage] is completely free. It’s up to students if they want to pay the $2.50 per year for extra coverage.”

A landmark deal with insurance company American Income Life means all students at Waikato University will be covered for “accidental death” to the tune of $1000 – for, apparently, no cost and no obligation.

“Tertiary students are now a key component in the skilled workforce. In working with Studylink, SJS is assisting in the Government’s tertiary strategy for workplace ready graduates by functioning as a key linkage between the academic environment and the business world.”

Labour: Decline in voluntary loan repayments anticipated

Studentville series hasn’t offended anyone – yet by Chris Leggett The pilot episode of the television series Studentville at 10pm Monday, September 11, touted by Real Groove magazine as the “show most likely to make a stink this year”, went by without a hitch according to the show’s producer. Hamish Coleman-Ross described the show to Otago University’s Critic as “my version of how I see students”. “It’s a celebration of what it is to be part of Studentville, which is one of many aspects of being at University,” he says. “The response from people has been nothing but positive,” says ColemanRoss. “Ratings were good, network’s happy, we’re happy. People are wanting to get in contact; they want to know when they’ll be on TV.” The show’s pre-launch advertising on C4 contained snippets of students from across the country partaking in various social activities, including toga parties, clubbing and beer-induced vomiting. But the premiere, which featured Orientation festivities from Otago, Victoria and Waikato Universities, did not prompt any adverse reactions from viewers. Coleman-Ross expects the remainder of the series to run just as smoothly. “I don’t think [we cover] anything disturbing or anything that’s not already being shown on the news,” he says, adding that perhaps the most controversial item in an upcoming episode is the notorious Castle Street riot in Dunedin.

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None of New Zealand’s universities made have any kind of official contact with Coleman-Ross and his crew to either endorse or disassociate themselves with the show. “I think the fact that Otago University was advertising during the show says a lot,” he laughs. New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA) co-president Conor Roberts was busy during the show’s debut and didn’t get to see much of it “other than a bunch of really drunk students”. While Roberts is uncertain of the direction that Coleman-Ross intends to take Studentville in, he’s hopeful that it will cover more than just the social aspect of student life. “If you’re going to talk about students you need to talk about the range of students: mature students, international students, and not just focus on one aspect of the student community. It’s so clichéd to do that.” There are 10 episodes in the current series, and Coleman-Ross has no plans at present to film a second. “At this stage we’re just concentrating on these 10 and we’ll see how it goes.”


By Chris Leggett Recent Inland Revenue figures indicate a considerable drop-off in voluntary student loan repayments among graduates during the financial year the Government introduced its interest-free loan policy. The figures reveal payments made by borrowers have dropped by $54.2m, from $239m for the year ending June 6 last year to $185m this year. However, the figures also indicate that borrowers are making a bigger dent in their loans through the compulsory repayments made through PAYE tax. Education spokesman for the National party Bill English criticises the policy, claiming students are borrowing more and taking longer to repay their debt. “More students are borrowing more. Clearly the numbers are down. They’re likely to borrow more money and not repay it. Of course the voluntary repayments would be down. Why would people give money up if they don’t need to?” New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations co-president Conor Roberts is not surprised at the National party’s criticism of the policy, but thinks they need to look more to the long-term. “A National party is not going to be positive about this policy,” he says. “The important thing is the exponential decrease in time it takes people to pay off their loans. There’s no compounding interest [so] people will be paying their loans off a lot faster – that’s a really, really positive move. [Students] will get out of debt quicker, which means they’ll be able to buy their first house sooner.”

English: Tertiary Bureaucracy Spending Doubles By James Ellingham The party’s Education spokesman Bill English says spending on tertiary agencies has increased from $64 million in 2000/01 to $149 million in 2004/05. A spokesman for Tertiary Education Minister Michael Cullen says the extra spending has gone towards ‘improving the capability of government agencies’. Much of the increased funding in the tertiary sector has been spent on the Tertiary Education Commission (TEC) which came into operation in 2003 and has taken over much of the research and monitoring responsibilities that were previously performed by the Ministry of Education. Paul Holloway, Acting Group manager of TEC Corporate Services confirms that the TEC receives around $40 million funding each year. Initial setup costs were only around $7 million as assets were transferred from Skill New Zealand and the Ministry of Education. Holloway says that ‘ultimately, everything we do is about students, their education and their training’. While not being specific, Cullen’s spokesman believes that the current tertiary system being developed by the government will give all ‘stake-holders – especially students’ a say in the industry.

Exec Denied Member Details By Evelyn Millar

The WSU executive has recently requested from the University a copy of student lists which contain the names and contact details of all students enrolled at Waikato University – and who are, by default, members of the WSU. However, this has been turned down, with suggestions that it might constitute a breach of privacy. Sehai Orgad, WSU President, has a vision for a more informed student body. “Our intention is to communicate with the students and keep them better informed. We want to increase the

involvement and understanding of students.” Wendy Craig, the Director of Student Services, is the woman in charge of looking after this information. Craig has denied the request. “My concern right from the start was the privacy issue. I’m concerned for those students who don’t want their names and addresses revealed. I think students should be much better informed but there are better avenues to inform students.” Craig’s suggested solution is a “portal” on iWaikato, similar to the current “University Announcements” portal on the iWaikato home page, which could be used for announcements of events, as well as changes in the WSU that are relevant to students. Regardless of the privacy issue, it seems that bulk

emails are not going to happen for the WSU. “It’s basically banned. No one can send bulk emails. We can’t even send staff bulk emails” says Coralie Gibbins, acting Director of Information and Technology Services. “We’re delighted that the university has invited us to use [the portal] – but we still think we need a list of students who are a part of the union. They are accusing us of wanting to spam our students. That’s not the case at all. If we did that, no one would want to read it and it would be ineffective as a way of communicating.” says Orgad. The matter of student lists is now being investigated by Raymond McNickel, head of Corporate Services.

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Warning: Contains Adult Content Six University of Waikato students received Adult Learners’ Awards of $1,000 each from Vice-Chancellor Professor Roy Crawford at a ceremony on 6 September. The following adult students received awards: Toni West, Ngahinaturae Te Uira, Sarah-Louise Body, Turei Thompson, Cindy CadmanSatake and Carmen Quinn. The Vice-Chancellor’s Adult Learners’ Awards are presented each year during Adult Learners’ Week/He Tangata Matauranga, an international celebration of adult learning. “Adult learners enhance our university environment because they bring a special perspective and passion to their studies, linked to their life experience and maturity,” said Crawford. “Here at Waikato, we welcome adult students whatever their backgrounds. We recognise that the pathways and choices that lead people to enrol at university at particular stages in their life vary enormously. We do whatever we can to foster the concept of lifelong learning. Our Adult Learners’ Award recognises the hard work and dedication it takes for some to be here.”

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006

Adult learners are defined as students over the age of 25. This year, 4,047 adult learners are studying at Waikato University. Historically, the University of Waikato has had a very high proportion of adult learners compared with other universities in New Zealand.



Coxless Pair Kick Arse By Evelyn Millar

Rowing legend George Bridgewater, a Waikato University management student, has been showing the world what Hamilton is made of. Along with fellow student Nathan Twaddle, the 23 year old has competed in the Athens Olympics in 2004, the World Rowing Championships in Japan last year (receiving a gold medal) and has recently returned from competing in the 2006 World Rowing Championships in Eton. This year the pair received a silver medal. Not bad for a couple of Waikato boys.

physio, stretching and other sports science etc) – it’s full time training, so we’re expected to be focused on the rowing 100%. How do you juggle training and studying? Well, sometimes it is pretty hectic – especially if I don’t plan my workloads to fit around each other. I’ve found if I can do that, the marks usually get a little better. How long have you been rowing for? 6 years

How did it feel to receive the NZU Sportsperson of the Year award? Great – I was quite surprised as some of the finalists I was up against were doing pretty well in their respective sports. Unfortunately I couldn’t make the dinner down in Wellington, but I was pretty happy about it all. How many hours per week do you normally spend training? 25-30 hours a week plus maintenance (like

Japanese haiku poetry is usually about gardens and shit. We make it about news! Warehouse founder wants to buy all Red Sheds Tindall wants to buy back, but Shares aren’t cheap, and he won’t Get a bargain.

Murderer Watson accused of sending photos

What are your goals for the future? Beijing is and always has been the number 1 priority. If this years’ second place can serve as the kick we need to perform better at Beijing, then it won’t be so bad. As we get closer to 2008, we will have a much better idea of what crews we will be racing and how we will go about things, but for now it’s going to be two years of pretty tough training geared towards that one race. Are you disappointed about coming second in

What was it like returning to University after having competed in the Olympics and the world championships? It was long overdue to come home – 3 months is quite a while for a tour. University is actually good to come back to – getting home and finding there wasn’t as much going on as the Olympics is sometimes a little strange so it was good to have the uni stuff still ticking over. It does get difficult again when the commitments for other things

the world championships this year? Yeah. It was kind of tough coming down from last year, even though I believe the field has improved. I still felt after winning last years World Champs in Japan that we had so much improvement to do. That is still the way and I know that we have a lot more speed we can find yet, but for now it is the question of finding that speed and of course finding it at the right time.

of genitals to teen Infamous killer, on a whim, Sends teen photos Just like Uncle Jim.

for her ‘soul mate’ Steve’s widow plans funeral malarkey Steve-o’s last words? Ooh, crikey!

Blair attacks Europe’s ‘mad anti-Americans’ Blair not impressed With anti US plebs Gives them a bit of a rev.

Iraq war ‘a disaster,’ Mideast leaders tell Annan Annan told Iraq war a disaster He tells leaders back: “Well, duh.”

Britain’s ban on in-flight hand luggage to be lifted After shock terror plot Brits get their hand luggage back “Jolly good, what?” Irwin’s wife plans memorial service

Another Steve Irwin effort, adapted from a joke by Vitamin C “Steve, don’t forget Your sunscreen today, it protects From dangerous rays.”

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006

Labour’s questioning of Brash ‘a disgrace’ News of Brash’s affair Fills Labour’s air He doesn’t have a prayer.

start coming in and fitting them around uni.


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Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page – serious or otherwise. Letters should be no more than 250 words and received by 5pm on the Tuesday before publication. All letters will generally be printed so give it a bash, but the editor retains the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. Bad spelling and grammar will not be corrected. Pseudonyms are acceptable but all letters must include your real name and contact details even if you don’t want them printed (and they won’t be printed!). We discourage the use of pseudonyms for serious letters.

Letter of the Week Oh, you mean like Dolly! Regarding: the “Pash Rash” letter, and the Busted photos, Nexus issue 19. Thanks for your efforts, but I think that what “non strainers anon” was really refering to by “naked guys” was a pic more like the attached. Check it out, please and thanks!

Not only are is the censor a hypocrite, but (s)he is instilling a sense of shame into all peoples who have picked up last week’s edition of Nexus. Shame is a terrible thing, it is a great way to control people by putting them on guilt trips, shame makes people feel

we had nudity, but this time of the female parts. But why I ask were they blocked out. This seems to be a case of double standard of Nexus or is Nexus just acting in line with the double standard of society. The female and male parts are of the same level of being personal to the

bad about themselves. You are an eviling, a dictator in training. Get rid of shame at this uni and republish the pictures in question

individual, but yet when it comes to society saying that it is ok to show it many would say that it is less of an offense for the male as it is to the female. This double standard is unfair on the male population and is saying that their parts are of less value. Similarly society has a double standard when it comes to two girls kissing compared to that of two men. So I ask should we have a Nexus that is independent and unbiased or a Nexus that follows all unspoken and spoken rules of society?

Talia Yours sincerely Congrats Talia, you just scored a free $5 Campus Kiosk voucher!

Really bad eggs

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006

In response to Craig Shepherd’s letter “God bless promiscuous women”, I’d just like to ask if you’re an arsehole because you’re full of crap, or are you full of crap because you’re an arsehole? Your prejudice against homosexuals is based on some incorrect and disturbing assumptions. Firstly you assume that all homosexuals are sexually active, which is odd because as a person who is so opposed to promicuous sex (and fair enough in the Chlamydia capital of NZ), you must know people who are heterosexual and not sexually active (story of my life), yet you assume that all homosexuals go home and sodomise each other, or attach their language tools to some cunni. I’m not an expert on the topic but I think it’s a fair call to say you’re wrong. Secondly you assume that the sexual habits of sexually active homosexuals is actually any of


your goddamn business. Sure you can say you find it distateful, but to declare people who love and care for eachother evil is retarded, and you need to get some help. I think you’re perverted. Go boil your bottom sundrey silly person, I fart in your general direction! I hope your head falls off at a very inconvenient moment. Oh yeah, your final paragraph is wrong too. You assume that women are seductresses, and that sex outside of marriage is meaningless. Blatantly wrong. Can I just ask what shape your head is? You sexist homophobic wanker. Also, do you hate black people too? Rogort T. Tarinbourn

Sheer Hypocrisy I was disappointed at the sheer hypocrisy of your censorship of certain subjects on your Busted page last week, especially in light of the lack of censorship of the same page the previous week.

Young hetero munter male. ps. Could you make it a two page pull-out affair so I can put it on my wall? I can’t afford decent porn, so I’m forced to use Nexus to masturbate with.

Um, ditto hey dudes and dudettes, just a bit of a gripe, whats with the censorship of that lovely lady when that amusingly small dude was flying for all to see??? unfair :( oh

Waikato uni student outragged

and burton c bogan, chick singers, check out arch enemy, that chick has a fucken wicked voice, check out my apocalypse, gravelly as and fuck it sounds wicked!! peace uni the mantiss

explanation for the double standard recently displayed in the “drunk sluts and munters” page of Nexus magazine. Free and easy cock and balls one week, masked vag and jubblies the next.

Doubled standard society or Nexus? Two weeks ago in the busted section of the Nexus we were exposed to nudity, more specific to the private male parts. Not saying anything is wrong with a bit of nudity as we are students at university and should be living life to the full. But the issue arises when the following week in the busted section again

And again… Kia Ora Nexus, I’m curious to know if there’s any

I personally couldn’t care less how many full frontal shots of Hamilton’s finest Nexus chooses to publish; I am not offended by naked bodies nor do I depend on poor quality print material for my erotic stimulation (I have plenty of high quality print material to serve that particular purpose). However, I am a man who likes the editorial standards of my reading material like I do

LETTUCE my morning movements: firm and consistent. If you’re going to go for the sleaze factor on this page, as has been apparent in recent times, why not abandon the flimsy pretence of “documenting Hamilton nightlife” and just go directly to Firecats for a weekly page of gyno shots and girl on girl strap-on action? Either that or weekly photos from Cutting Edge juice parties, which I’ve heard can be pretty wild all-in frottage-fests, and to which I would suggest it is prudent to wear gumboots. Arigato gozaimas, Kinky but Klean of Kitchener St. An ‘eviling’, YHMM? Cool. Yeah, basically it’s nothing to do with double standards etc, we just like keeping you guys on your toes so you write letters. - Ed.

Jesus Christ, Superstar! I have recently noticed a proliferation of small posters on the notice boards comparing the Rolling Stones to our mate J.C., courtesy of the Christian club Crossroads. The poster quotes one of the great ‘Stones songs, with “I can’t get no satisfaction”, then compares these lyrics to a piece of biblical text (something to do with “abundant life”, I forgot exactly what it was). I’m not sure if the intention of the poster is to take the piss out of the

“If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother, and his blood will be on his own head.” -Leviticus 20:9 --Gazz

Where are the happy emos? Dearest nexusssssss….. I like to bake, apple pie. But that’s besides the point, the point is a certain lecturer who refuses to turn on his microphone. You know who you are…. ALSOOOOOO… I RECENTLY FOUND OUT WHAT EMO MEANT… I WAS SHOCKED TO DISCOVER IT MEANS EMOTIONAL. HOW COME THESE LOVELY PEOPLE NEVER SEEM TO BE EXPERIENCING GOOD EMOTIONS? LIKE… HAPPY JOYOUS EXCITED ECSTACIC CONTENT PLEASED BLISSFUL GRATEFUL I’m going to go bake pie now… yayyyy… another way to be happy!!! LIKE ELMO!

vitamin, Vitamin C, Im curious. It seems to me that you have based your “record” on the impossible presumption that people only listen to one genre of music. Yeah right! How fucking stupid is that?! How many poeple do you no actually ONLY listen to say, rock, rap, or emo? Ok so now comes the part where I confess to the world that I listen to emo. BUT that doesn’t make me one. I also listen to rap, hip hop, r n b, rock, punk, metal, old school rock, pop, 80’s, dance and every now and then break out a bit of country. So tell me, “oh wise one” what stereotype do I belong to? Huh? yes, it’s tricky isn’ it. You can’t distingiush people from others based only on their taste in music. It takes more than that. It’s a mix of attitudes, beliefs, opinions, backgrounds, fashion AND music. And anyway, ALL forms of music has “emotion” in it. Whether it be love, hate, anger, sadness, self loathling... So stop being a judgemental bastard and leave people alone. Music is a fucking awesome thing. Why do we have to rip it apart just because you disagree with a particular genre. Fuck off and get a life.

no life such as your self. All of the B.O.C. campaigners are friends or acquaintances of mine and none of them are stupid, they are all top students who are doing difficult degrees, which you obviously don’t know anything about. Who the hell do you think you are insulting engineering students who are at this moment designing and creating an electric car so lazy dicks like you can have an alternative to petrol driven cars. I hope to hell you never become my boss because obviously that company wouldn’t be going anywhere led by somebody who obviously lacks imagination and social skills. So to all the students who can balance having a brain with actually having friends and a social life, support B.O.C. and let Anti B.O.C. go home to her Mommy and get tucked into bed at her nine o’clock curfew every night. Non-Drinker With A Life

Waikato Uni – no student culture University isn’t all nerds, and only about keeping your head in a text book. If that was the case why on earth would there be a student union? I agree that the politics behind the student union are important and that students need to be heard. But honestly there is no Waikato uni culture anymore.

Have a nice day! Make love, not Love from miss candy pants WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING? Good point. However, Nexus investigations reveal that the term was originally ‘emu’, as we all know that emus are melodramatic, overwrought birds who get depressed about the fact that people only like them for their meat, oil and leather. Teens with poor spelling skills perpetuated the newer version of the word, which can also be seen as a contraction of ‘emotional or emotive hardcore’. – Ed.

No happy emos here In response to the orange flavoured

hate :-) Yours Sincerely Me

In response to Anti-B.O.C. Okay first of all Bellies on Crack? I mean what the hell? I’m a supporter of B.O.C. and even I can think up better ones than that, Boys on Cock, Bastards on Campus. I am a non-drinking supporter of B.O.C. and if you’d take your head out your ass for a moment perhaps you’d realize that they’re not about binge drinking or even drinking. They’re about bringing back the student spirit that seems to have died mainly due to people who have

How many people are actually involved in any of the uni clubs? And by the dismal performance at the uni snow games there’s no wonder why. Just out of interest I wonder how many students actually went to the uni snow games to support our university. Where is our sense of pride on being a student from Waikato University? I have a group of friends that went to Otago uni and might I add that they were all successful at completing their degrees with commendable grades. They told me that the student culture down there was awesome and the memories

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006

greatest rock band ever, but it sure seems like it. If you want people to join your cause, don’t go bringing down their heroes. It just highlights how very different you are from the people you are trying reach. Also, I think a lot of people will agree with me when I say that music has probably brought more peace and pleasure (“abundant life”, if you will) and less hunger and war to the world than any religion. Sure, rock bands may cause the odd post-concert riot, but that pales in comparison to, say, the crusades. Here’s my idea for a poster: “Imagine there’s no heaven It’s easy if you try

No hell below us Above us only sky Imagine all the people Living for today” –John Lennon, Musician


LETTUCE from university will stay with them for life. Listening to their stories often made me wish that I had gone to Otago. Also replying to last weeks letter, get your facts right! If you had taken the time to get to know B.O.C you would know that these “Chumps” are all high achievers at the university not the no hoper piss heads that you made them out to be! And if you are so against B.O.C I was surprised to see that you couldn’t even sign your work. On another note Boganology rocks, keep up the good work! Chloe Mannix

BOC need more info I do agree that this uni doesn’t have much of a culture, and seeing images of Otago and other universities makes me annoyed. However, BOC has said barely anything about what else it plans to do besides parties. Everything they talk about seems to involve a keg somewhere. I think the WSU rolls out the kegs quite often. Another thing, if they didn’t want O Week ‘06 to suck so badly, then why didn’t they help with the organising of it? Considering the reports in late 2005 that it was going to be in turmoil. One of the things BOC should have done was each member writing something personal about what they

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006

are going to do in last weeks issue. Not the copy-and-pasted MySpace blurb. It would’ve leaned me more towards them if they had. Involvement in the Uni clubs is very much an issue. But why is participation so low? They talk about Clubs Day a lot in Nexus, there is all the chalk writing, we have two days a year where all the clubs have a chance to shine. Club listings are included in the new students guide. What else can happen? It seems to stem from the problem of student apathy. The lack of a student culture at this University is possibly


because we are all lazy and couldn’t give a damn - or just that we hope for it to fall from the sky one day. That said, I’d rather someone a bit more level headed presiding over the WSU than someone who is all parties. Daniel -

And your forgetting apostrophes Dear Nick So you have been working on stock cars for four years and on street cars for three? Well this obviously means your right, my apologies. On a side note, your still wrong. Once again you have completely

P.S I’m not a nice guy

Taggers = not metal Dear Ed Recently while walking through my neighbourhood I noticed some new graffiti, included were such “gems” as “666” and “Emo=Gay”. Usually people that vandalise shit are craving attention, so I should just ignore it, but I can’t. I’m pretty sure the people who live in the house with “Emo=Gay” do have some overly long fringes, and I mock Emo as much as the next person, but I don’t persecute. I don’t want to pretend that I’m an uber-Bogan or have any sort of influence over anyone, but if the people responsible are reading this,

missed the point. I was merely saying that people don’t “drop one in a starlet and turn the idle down” they simply drop one in a starlet, and it happens to be ported, no need to play with the idle. Then you go on to mention the engines with lumpy cams. When you place lumpy cams in an engine it opens the intake and exhaust ports early and/or further, causing the throb, and more power when required. One side effect of lumpy cams is the fact that when using the same settings the idle will increase. This is why they then slow it down, not for the noise. Lastly you go on about the 92-94 fxgt’s and the like. Whats the point of a lovely v6 engine that will only spin the front wheels? And it really will spin

and are Metallers, then you should stop wearing black and instead wear really baggy jeans and boxer shorts up to your shoulders - because you are taggers and not Metal.

them, because the v6’s in the Mazda eunos’s do a lovely job. Sure it may be reasonably fast once your doing about 70km, but off the line, your wasting your time. One more small piece of advice before I leave you. If you want to make your car sound like a rotary but don’t have the time or the money, simply unplug one of your spark plugs. It will sound exactly the same to anyone who doesn’t know a thing about rotaries, like yourself, and then you can drive round town pretending you have turned down your idle.

are they eating them ( how good can goldfish taste?) or taking them home for pets? does anyone else think this is wrong or is it just me?

Your friend, Tim

Burton C Bogan

Gone fishing whats up with the fishing in/from the uni lakes?!?! im sure many of you have seen them (sometimes a older couple or just the male) fishing from the lakes just by the chappel here at uni. was just wondering are they allowed to do this? because i believe this is wrong! just wait till others catch on and there will be no fish left ( not that i knew there was fish there in the first place from the look of the water!)

Jmb Reply They’re probably catching the koi carp which the uni’s Facilities Management Division spend a lot of time and resources working to eradicate. In which case, all power to them. In some countries, koi carp are

a delicacy...of course, those are countries where waterways are so polluted and deoxygenated that nothing but bottom-feeding mud suckers of their ilk can survive. Petrajane

Fish is a vegetable I’ve just read your advice to vegetarians (‘What’s A Nutritionalist?’, issue 20 pp18-19): “Vegetarian…you can do very successfully, especially if you’re eating eggs and fish”. I was under the impression quite the opposite was the case: being that vegetarianism entails not eating animal flesh, and that fish are animals, it follows that eating fish makes you an unsuccessful vegetarian. Since you’re the expert, I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt on this. Here is a textbook diagram of a dissected perch. Could you please label its rigid cell walls, root system and means of photosynthesis. And maybe suggest where I can buy myself a fish tree. Thanks lady.

love from Aunty Petra.

It has? Excellent... Apparently that little piece at the bottom of page 12 of this weeks nexus has been seriously offending some people. The word ‘cunt’ isn’t all that offensive when it is applied to men, it can even be used in a positive way as in ‘good cunt’ but when it is applied to women it is seriously offensive. Ironic as that is what the article was talking about and the quote in the last line “if you don’t want to be offended, don’t pick up student magazines” is equally applicable here, but I’d like to suggest something even more controversial: if you don’t like the crap they publish in your student magazine, contribute and raise the quality. isa






Wear Blue Jeans for Queer Awareness

Games Night

Queer Day Out

Queer DVD Night

Queer Party Bus

The point of this day is to raise awareness that, just like blue jeans, queer people are everywhere. Keep an eye out for friendly campus

Music will be playing on the

We will be watching 2

We are heading to Auckland

a fun casual evening

WSU village green, bring your

movies, with different

for a night of clubbing fun,

picnic and family.

themes. Come along and

back by 5am…

Time: 5.30pm – 10.30

BYO snacks.

Location can be found in

A Balloon drop at 1.30pm

the queerspace in the WSU

will deliver prizes to the lucky.

Time: 7. 30pm

from 8pm, with the bus


Time: 12 – 2pm

Location can be found in

leaving at 9pm on the dot.

Sex Toy Party Join us for a fun Sex toy party. You can purchase or just have a laugh. BYO Alcohol and nibbles. Time: 7.00pm Location can be found in

Time: Meet up at the Dons

the queerspace in the WSU building

Tickets are limited and collectable at the WSU reception for a donation of 2 non-perishable food items. These will be donated to a food bank.

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006

lollipop deliverers around

Bring a plate and a game for

the queerspace in the WSU building


Girls who are boys, who like boys to be girls, who do boys like they’re girls, who do girls like they’re boys … By Megan Moffet

So you know what a gay is, and probably a lesbian, maybe even a bisexual. Do you know about transgendered people, transvestite, transsexual, and intersex? What about those who fit in between these categories? Current socialization processes presuppose very specific ideas of normality when it comes to sexual orientation and gender identity. Specifically, society teaches that two distinctive genders exist (male and female), and one sexual orientation (heterosexual) is acceptable. Narrow views of gender and sexuality serve to promote an oversimplification of remarkably complex constructs.

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006

The ideas around queer* identity have changed dramatically in the last 20 years, both what being queer is and how we fit ourselves under this banner. To understand current thinking we have to stop putting people in boxes and fit ourselves in a spectrum. Thus we have continuums. First is the BIOLOGICAL SEX continuum. On one end of the continuum is male and on the other end female. In the middle is Intersex (formerly called Hermaphrodite). Intersex is a term to describe those who, at birth, have genitalia or chromosomes or an internal reproductive system that are not to the male or female “standard”. In the web site of the Intersex Society of North America this condition is estimated to occur “one in 100 births”. If your anatomy, chromosomes and hormones are unquestionably male or female, place yourself at the respective ends of this continuum. If they are at all ambiguous, then place yourself between these two extremes where you think you should be. Second is the GENDER IDENTITY continuum.


On one end of the continuum is man and the on other end women. In the middle is “Third Sex” or “Gender Queer”. If you totally think of yourself as a man or woman, place yourself at the respective ends of the continuum. If you think there are aspects of yourself that identify with the opposite gender then put yourself on the continuum accordingly. “Third Sex” is a term used for those who don’t identify strictly as a man or woman. Many youth of today who fit into this category prefer the term “Gender Queer”.

yourself on this continuum? Now stack the four continuums one above the other and draw a line which connects where you rated yourself on each. If you came up with a relatively straight, vertical line down the ends of the continuum, you are what today’s society calls “normal” (Male, Man, Masculine, Attracted to Women or Female, or Woman, Feminine, Attracted to Men). When the line crosses from a biological sex of male to a gender identity of a woman, or the line crosses from a biological sex of female to a gender identity of a man, that is what defines TRANSGENDER. Transgender is an umbrella term used to describe anyone who transgresses the typical bi-polar identification of man or women. Also note that the Sexual Preference continuum is totally separate from the others. A Trans person can be Hetero, Bi, Gay or Asexual like anyone else. Some people who are Intersex consider themselves Transgender and others do not. This is because their often mixed biological characteristics, is not necessarily the opposite of their gender identity. The two most prominent categories of Transgender people are Crossdressers and Transsexuals.

The difference of Biological Sex and Gender Identity is crudely stated that SEX is about what is between your legs and GENDER is about what is between your ears. People are assigned a

Crossdressers are people who dress in the clothing, partially or completely of the societal norm for the “opposite” gender. Formerly the term ‘Transvestite’ was used but is generally disliked for its derogatory connotations. Crossdressers who comprise the largest single group of transgender people are mostly

biological sex, but define their own gender.

Heterosexual males but individuals who

Third is the GENDER EXPRESSION continuum. On one end of the continuum is masculine and the other end is feminine. In the middle is androgynous. Gender expression is communicated through such things as clothes & accessories, cosmetics, hairstyles, conversational styles, grooming, body language, interests and speech. Where would you place yourself on this continuum? And last is the SEXUAL ORIENTATION continuum. On one end of the continuum is attraction to women and the other end, attraction to men. In the middle is bisexual (attracted to both) or asexual (attracted to neither) or even an attraction to Transgender. Where would you place

PRIDE WEEK FEATURE crossdress to perform, who are often gay, are known as Drag Queens or Drag Kings. Crossdressers typically have little desire to transition from their biological sex. Transsexuals actually comprise a minority within the transgender community but are probably the most well known due to the most media attention. Trans-woman or MtF transsexuals transition from Male to Female; Trans-men or FtM transsexuals transition from Female to Male. Basically transsexuals are unhappy with their bodies and gender norms associated with their biological sex. Part of the understanding about continuums is that we don’t always have to stay in that same place; we can have flexibility with our choices. As time changes, so can our sexual preference or gender construct. Like anything in our life that can change, ex: school, partners, careers, and family, etc. so can your sexual identity or gender construct.

More about Sexual Orientation

public, the American Psychological Association (2005) has defined sexual orientation as follows:

Persons may or may not express their sexual orientation in their behaviours.

Sexual Orientation is an enduring emotional, romantic, sexual or affectional attraction to another person. It is easily distinguished from other components of sexuality including biological sex, gender identity (the psychological sense of being male or female) and the social gender role (adherence to cultural norms for feminine and masculine behavior).

An example of a defined continuum

Sexual Orientation exists along a continuum that ranges from exclusive homosexuality to exclusive heterosexuality and includes various forms of bisexuality. Bisexual persons can experience sexual, emotional and affectional attraction to both their own sex and the opposite sex. Persons with a homosexual orientation are sometimes

Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale Criteria

referred to as gay (both men and women) or as lesbian (women only). Sexual Orientation is different from sexual behaviour because it refers to feelings and selfconcept.

In an attempt to educate professionals and the

Queer Quiz Questions

During the 1940’s, Alfred Kinsey and associates shocked Americans when he first published his work on male sexuality. His controversial research challenged traditional notions of sexuality as a one-dimensional construct. Through extensive research, Kinsey et. al pioneered the first comprehensive continuum of sexuality.

0 1 2 3 4 5 6

Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual Equally heterosexual and homosexual Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual Exclusively homosexual

How good is your general knowledge? Test it here and win a prize.

1. What was allegedly sent by God to punish

2. In what year did the American Psychological

3. Pope Benedict XVI was named as successor

the gay people of New Orleans?

Association remove homosexuality from its list

to Pope John Paul II, but what was his birth name?

of mental disorders?

4. Which British celebrity A-list couple tied the

5. Who is Ellen DeGeneres’ latest significant

6. Who wrote the novel that was adapted into

knot in a Civil Partnership ceremony earlier


the film Brokeback Mountain?

7. Which lesbian novel was deliberately

8. If you include pending legislation, how

9. The word ‘Lesbian’ is derived from the

obstructed by the government of the time,

many countries legally allow gay marriage?

home of which Greek Poet?

this year?

10. What popular symbol of gay pride originated in Nazi concentration camps?

Answer these questions correctly and go in the draw to win $30 Music vouchers by bringing your answers to the WSU reception.

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006

according to papers unearthed in 2005?


PRIDE WEEK FEATURE been at the forefront of seeking recognition for homosexual rights in Aotearoa. In the1950s, 60s and 70s, many held high profile positions in the entertainment and hospitality industry, such as Carmen Rupe and Chrissie Witoko (Ngati Kahungunu), and were fearless in living their new gender identity despite very hostile conditions, risk of violence and imprisonment.

From NZAF, edited by Andi

Do we need to do anything about it? Yes! We now live in a world where sexual health education is more important than ever. People in Aotearoa are being diagnosed daily for gonorrhoea and chlamydia, STI’s which are easily cured and easily prevented. There are over 40 million people throughout the world living and dying of HIV and AIDS. There is no cure for HIV. Our taiohi (youth) are our future. We need to protect our future. Safe Sex websites: ● NZ Family Planning Association website: ● Te Reo Maori and English website and information about sexual health:

Nga Korero mo Te Hunga Takataapui He maha nga kupu Maori mo lesbian, transgender, gay ranei. Maori have a rich history, language and culture and as a result have many words, which cover the complex area of gay, lesbian and transgender realities. This is not surprising as takataapui in their various forms have been part of Maori life since the original settlement of Aotearoa more than 1000 years ago.

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006

What’s in a name? Some names were generated from a particular cultural and spiritual understanding of the world, which may differ from a western or non-Maori view of sexuality, and as such does not equate to a western meaning or understanding of being gay, lesbian or transgender. For example – our understanding of takataapui comes from the korero given by Te Rangikaheke (Te Arawa) in the 1800s about a close and intimate relationship between Tutanekai and Tiki. Although it is vague whether the relationship embraced physical intimacy, this does not limit the term but means the takataapui concept is broader and embracing of intimate same sex relationships whether sexual or not.


The other element of the korero highlights the acceptance of Maori tribal society of very close same-sex friendships.

Changing form Changing form or shape was not new, but within the ability of several tupuna.

More recently and against all odds Georgina Beyer (Te Ati Awa) worked hard to overcome society’s prejudice by becoming the world’s first transgender mayor and Member of Parliament. If you would like more information about transgender please contact:

Male to Female In a journey taken by Tawhaki Tongameha, a

Agender New Zealand Support for all transgendered people

spiritual force had the ability to change his male form into a beautiful wahine. Many travellers who had come across this sight were stirred, shaken and turned to stone by the creature. Tawhaki was warned about this obstacle, and not lured to his death by its striking beauty.

PO Box 27-560 Wellington Ph 025 575 094.

Female to Male According to Mataatua waka history, their tupuna Wairaka whilst on her waka asked to be empowered with the strength of a male to save the waka from crashing on rocks around the Bay of Plenty. ‘Ka whakatane ahau i a ahau.’ ‘I will make myself like a man.’ Thereafter the place was called Whakatane – ‘to be like a man’. Although a simple statement, it provides us with insight not only of the innovative approach taken by Wairaka, but also the cultural norms of the time, and the flexibility for people to cross between ‘male’ and ‘female’ activities where necessity required.

First Contact Europeans First contact European explorers around the shores of Aotearoa on several occasions noted the striking beauty of Maori maidens. However, they soon realised that, when in more intimate circumstances, these female companions were actually male like themselves. Maori tribal society provided space for these transgender people to live within the comfort and confines of their whanau.

Transgender Today Over the last fifty years transgender Maori have

“It’s about Whanau!” – homophobia in the whare It’s a simple statement, but extremely powerful when you realise the whanau has survived many attempts to undermine its existence. It’s the core foundation of Maoridom, and for many Maori it remains the main bridge and connection to past, traditions, history, language, spirituality and tupuna. Signs of homo and transgender phobia: ● Abuse, mock or demean openly takataapui, gay, lesbian or transgender people ● Remain silent about takataapui uncles, aunties and other whanaunga ● Believe a past whanau hara (misdeed) has caused one of their members to be takataapui as utu (punishment) ● Expect takaataapui to remain closet and silent ● ●

about their lifestyle Unwelcoming to takataapui, gay, lesbian and transgender partners at iriiringa, huritau, tangihanga, hura kohatu and reunions Abusive toward rangatahi who show early signs of being a ‘sissy’ or ‘tomboy’.

What happens to takataapui in these environments? Understandably, many takataapui do not believe they can be open and honest with their whanau. This can cause feelings of despair, vulnerability, anxiousness and loneliness. Some may seek comfort in straight marriage, alcohol, drugs or gambling. The pressure can cause others to lead double lives.



By Gay Girl

People ask me when did I ‘decide’. I give them a look that makes them drop their head, mumble a ‘sorry’ and reword the question more accurately, such as “when did you know.” For me it was form one. I’d just moved schools to a country school that went up to form 2. I decided to join the soccer team to try making some friends. Having never played before, and not really great friends yet with any of the team, I was a wee bit nervous as the bell rang and I made my way to the field for the 1st practice. And that’s where I first met Christie. She was the coach. An older sister of one of my guy team mates, she was probably 18. Despite the age difference we clicked instantly. Soccer became the highlight of my week as I couldn’t wait to see her next. I so wanted to impress her with my soccer skills, but unfortunately I wasn’t able to perform the wicked moves I envisioned in my head! She never once laughed at me though or made me feel less skilled than the others. She would always pair up with me too. So much for making friends with the others!

Right from the start I have always accepted that I like girls. Not once have I hated myself for it, or thought I was disgusting. I like who I like. And if I do happen to like a guy one day well then, that’s cool too. However it hasn’t been the easiest way to grow up. I often felt lonely and ostracised not knowing any other gay people, due to growing up in a small town. Because none of my friends knew any others, I wasn’t sure how they would react to me, especially as the majority of my friends were Christians. It wasn’t until 6th form that I started telling some of my close friends. I felt like I was trapped in a circle. I really wanted a girlfriend, but how would any other gay girls be interested in me if they didn’t know about me? But then me coming out wouldn’t guarantee there was some other gay girls at my school, and so maybe I would be risking some friendships and lots of gossip for nothing. Every time I came out to a friend, and they were supportive and not phased at all, which was the biggest buzz ever. It is such a relief, and the most awesome feeling, being accepted for who you truly are. I have been lucky to have caring friends who have all reacted awesomely. Unfortunately I can’t say the same for my parents, who are the only ones who know and don’t accept that part of me. I know that for some people homosexuality is an issue for them. And so I am very very grateful and appreciative of people who accept it, and love us for who we are. Big thank you to all my friends. Life is so much better not hiding. This is not a choice. This is not forced upon me. This just is.

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She had the most amazing eyes, and would always hold eye contact. She was the nicest girl ever. I could talk to her about anything. I wanted to talk to her every day. Lucky for me, she also worked in one of the surf stores in town so of course I would go visit, pretending I was checking out the clothes but really I just wanted to see her smile at me. Ok, so, yes, of course at first I just thought I’d met this really awesome chick and was excited about having a new friend - and maybe I was more excited than usual because she was older ( you know how when you’re that age the older high school kids seem soo cool). Well then the butterflies started happening each time I saw her, and I had daydreams about her coming into my changing room and kissing me, which never came true unfortunately. But she did hook her finger around the top of these pants I was trying on once, to check how well they fit, and whoa, I tingled. So yeah, I took all those feelings as a sign that I had a crush on this girl.

She was the first of many girls I’ve fallen for. Admittedly I do still have some feelings for this one. And not once have I had a crush on a guy. Some people ask me if I wish I was straight? And honestly, my answer is no. I love the way girls make me feel. All nervous, excited, tingly. I guess this is how a straight girl feels about guys. But I just can’t imagine feeling that way towards a guy.


PRIDE WEEK FEATURE really need to know but don’t want to ask, you can always try the sex addict trick from Choke where you lick your tongue around the outside of your mouth whilst sustaining eye contact – apparently if they don’t look away they will most likely sleep with you, regardless of sexual preference. Don’t want to sleep with them? Why would you really want to know someone’s sexuality unless you’re interested in them sexually? Plus, you can learn all kinds of things about someone from sleeping with them, like weird fetishes.

Could everyone be bi?

By Jessica Ritchie

Sexuality is far from simple. In mainstream society, heterosexuality is the norm and everyone who doesn’t fit into that box is assumed to be homosexual, queer or just weird. Bisexuals, attracted sexually to both genders, seem to either be integrated into hetero culture or, occasionally classed as gay, this can mean being exposed to both homophobia and heterophobia. I informally interviewed several bi people, both male and female, to get the inside story. Note: subjects interviewed are not named or gendered to make things more am-bi-guous.

Bi-Stereotype: What do you mean, bidiscrimination? Bisexuality doesn’t quite have the same social stigma that homosexuality has, so what is the bi-stereotype? “There’re at least two - the porno

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slut girl and the scary half women half dyke”. “I think there is a stereotype of hot bi babes who will just do it with anything that moves” (see Nexus’ Busted page). “I have been told that bi people are just greedy because they want the best of both worlds”. This idea corresponds to an outdated psychological theory that bisexuals are just immature and are yet to grow up and make up their minds. “I think we are also thought of as promiscuous. Just because we have more options about who to sleep with, it doesn’t mean we take them all”. Apart from these vague ideas and the perspective that because bisexuality is unusual it also involves unusual fetishes, bisexuals don’t seem to be all that stereotyped. “I don’t think we are. If anything,


I think we’re under-represented but I think bi people don’t really care about their representation anyway! If anything, we can easily fit into straight and gay culture. We’re like the reptilian shapeshifters.” This idea is recognized by some members of the gay community who might be a little bit jealous that bi people get away with fitting into both cultures, but is this necessarily the case? “I feel out of place in the gay community and with most of my straight friends I just act straight, but it’s like there’s something missing, I feel a bit dishonest”.

So how do you tell a bi person? Bisexuals tend to be more selective about disclosing their sexuality than gay people who are usually definitively on one side of the closet door. So how can you tell? “You totally can’t, not just from their physical appearance anyway”. Or, “you

Sexuality is usually grouped into the binaries of straight and gay but since the ‘60s it has been conceptualised, at least by some, as more of a continuum. See elsewhere in Nexus for more on this. Another theory, purported by the infamous Sigmund Freud, claimed that every person has the ability to become bisexual at some time in his or her life. This was based on the idea that it is possible or probable for anyone to have enjoyable sexual experiences/fantasies with the same gender. “I think everyone is [bi] to some extent, it depends how you define sexuality. I think there are very few people who are unable to enjoy any kind of sexual experience with someone of either gender”. The theory that everyone is bisexual is often rejected by people who class themselves as gay or straight as something that ‘only bisexual people think’.

Does Gender Matter? In cases where an individual is not restricted to being attracted to one gender, does gender

“Well, I am more attracted to girls. Probably because they are much better looking. Guys can be OK but girls are top-notch” ask them, but that’s a pretty personal question to ask so I wouldn’t recommend doing it to anyone you didn’t know all that well. I never know anyway -- I have the worst gaydar ever. It doesn’t really matter to me what the person is anyway.” “Bi people, in my experience, tend to be either really easy going and open minded, or sex addicts. The sex addicts will flaunt it, they’re easy to spot because they check everyone out and hit on them, the more laid back ones will be harder to read but get them in a conversation about labelling and categories of sexual orientation and they might just use themselves as examples. Also, bi people are often androgynous looking”. If you

still matter as much? “Not for me anyway, I’m attracted to a person, first and foremost and then the gender comes into play after that”. This seems to be a common theme. “I think it’s more about the person. I’m not attracted to all men or all women, in fact I’m quite picky, but I focus more on the personality and other things rather than just the gender. Also I find androgyny quite appealing, but sometimes I see ‘straight’ guys check someone out and then they realize it’s a guy and look away pretty quickly. It’s nice to be able to look at someone and find them attractive and not have to worry about anything”. “It is an interesting diversity but I think of gender

PRIDE WEEK FEATURE as fluid”. Perhaps bisexuality breaks down gender boundaries in a way that could be disconcerting to those hiding behind their macho/fem images, but then again, maybe not. “Well, I am more attracted to girls. Probably because they are much better looking. Guys can be ok but girls are top-notch”

Bi-Sex Are you monogamous in your relationships? “I’m naturally quite monogamous but I don’t like rules. Without the monogamy rule I don’t tend to sleep with other people all that much.” “Depends on who I’m with, I guess I still check out other girls no matter who I am with. Trust and honesty is always important though.” “No, I find it very difficult because I’m attracted to both sexes, to be in such a limiting relationship.” “No, I’m polyamorous” “Not presently but would do if someone special came along”

in they can bugger off!” Are you into weird fetishes? “Yeah…” (Subject would not disclose these) “No, I don’t think so, but maybe that’s just because I think they’re normal” “I guess so, I guess I’m into BDSM, but that’s not because I’m bi, it’s just because I like it. I don’t do it with women, just with men” “I can’t think of anything weird that I’m into, no.” Does it bother any potential partners that you’re bi? “Not so far, but it did bother one ex that I wanted to sleep with someone else of the same gender as me while I was in the relationship.” “I think so, guys especially feel threatened by it. It’s just ‘not normal’, so people can be apprehensive.” “They don’t tend to know, it doesn’t really matter.” “No - I would not be interested in a person as a friend or sexual partner if they had a problem with

“With the same sex you understand what feels good and so you are linked more, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically - with the opposite sex it is the difference and the unknown that is that is the attraction.” Would you consider yourself to be promiscuous? “No.” “Yes and no: Yes, I’m horny a lot. No, I don’t have lots of sex (well, maybe solo).” “Not by any normal standard, I’m more of a serial monogamist.” “No, I think promiscuity is just a social construct, people have different libidos and it’s not necessarily a bad thing.” “No, but then some people think that anyone who’s not monogamous is promiscuous.”

Do you prefer one gender over the other sexually? “I find them both equally pretty to look at, some of them, but girls are just so complicated” “Yes, while I identify being bisexual, I’m still more inclined to be involved with women. I find some men attractive but not as often as I find some women to be. Being bisexual doesn’t mean that all bisexuals will be 50-50 in their attraction to each gender. I’d say I’m about 70-30, leaning to the female side.” “I’m attracted to both genders equally but it’s just easier to be with the opposite gender.” “That’s a complicated question, girls are pretty and I look at them more, but as for being attracted to them, that’s different and as for what they’re like in bed, that’s different again.” “Yes. I prefer women but some men interest me and there is a different dynamic for me with each gender.” If you’re single and looking, is it easier to find a same sex or opposite sex partner? “Opposite sex, because they’re easy and I don’t have to worry about social stigma.” “I think it’d be much easier for me to find

What, in your sexual experience, is the main difference between a man and a woman? “Women are softer and less prickly and more complicated” “Attraction I guess. I prefer looking at a woman’s body than a man’s.” “I think with men it’s like the woman is being acted upon but with the same sex it’s more egalitarian.” “With the same sex you understand what feels good and so you are linked more, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically - with the opposite sex it is the difference and the unknown that is that is the attraction.”

Bi-terminology • Pansexual, omnisexual, and pomosexual (postmodern sexuality) are substitute terms for bisexuality that refer to all or “omni” gender attraction, rather than referring to both or “bi” and are used to express acceptance of all gender possibilities including transgender and intersex people, not just two. • Bi-permissive people do not actively seek out sexual relations with a given gender, but are open to them. They might be rated 1 or 5 on Kinsey’s scale. Near-synonyms include heteroflexible and homoflexible. • Ambisexual indicates a primarily indiscriminate attraction with equal intensity on physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual levels to partner(s) of either sex • Bi-curious, identify as heterosexual but are interested in homosexual “experimentation”. It can also be used to describe someone who is passively-bi, • Trisexual (sometimes trysexual) is a pun on bisexual. It can be used to describe someone who is attracted to transgender people but more commonly it refers to someone who will try anything. • Biphobia describes a fear or condemnation of bisexuality, based in a belief that only heterosexuality and homosexuality are genuine orientations and appropriate lifestyles. This can include discrimination from both homosexuals and heterosexuals • Passively-bi, describes a straight or bicurious person who is open to incidental or direct contact from a member of the same sex • Actively-bi describes a bi-curious/bisexual person who initiates direct contact members of the same and opposite sex.

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If you had a boyfriend or girlfriend and you wanted to have sex with someone else would you let them watch? “If they wanted to watch and if they were ok with me having sex with someone else, yeah.” “That situation sounds too contrived to me, like it’s set up deliberately so the boyfriend can get off. I guess if it happened naturally it would be ok but sex needs emotion, it’s not a porn-fest.” “No. I think sex is a very personal thing, not for gratuitous display” “I guess, if the ‘someone else’ was happy with that. I don’t know, it might be a bit uncomfortable.” “No. I prefer one on one sex and if they don’t join

a small part of the person that I am.”

someone of the same sex, but I was never interested in going after that which is easy...” “Definitely opposite sex partner.” “Opposite.”


If you know of any gigs or events, send in the details to For any possible changes to this list, listen to Contact 88.1 FM or check on the Nexus Forum at

Monday September 18th It’s not exactly a gig, but voting for the WSU executive opens today and is open until Wed. Don’t forget. It’s happening 10 am to 4 pm at Management pedestrian crossing, the library, outside the banks and at reception at the Tauranga Campus. Tempo - Music & Making It Just a couple of Tempo events left now. Today at 6pm is Things You Didn’t Want to Know but Have To - Get paid and in control: A seminar series that brings together speakers from NZ on Air and Dominion Law, with industry experts to teach artists the financial ‘ins and outs’ of the music industry, from getting paid to copyright.

Tuesday September 19th WSU exec voting is still open. 10am to 4pm. The final Tempo event. 6pm: Future Fresh - Trends and Technology. ‘We address essential ways of getting your music into the world. Future Fresh blends speakers from Apple, Texttunes, and Amplifier to demonstrate the best and freshest ways of taking advantage of today’s technology.’

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@ The Eavesdrop Listening party If you are interested in previewing new music by awesome bands head along to the Eavesdrop Listening Party at The Wine Cellar (St Kevin’s Arcade, K Rd, Auckland) from 7-11pm. Hamilton Film Society meets at 8pm every Tuesday at Victoria Cinema. Intending members can sign up on screening nights or call Andrea Haines on 839-5932. Student subscriptions are $85 full year or $45 half year. 3-screening Flexi tickets are also available for $25. University of Waikato Music Department & Hamilton Girls High School – On a Grande Note On a Grande Note has been described as ‘an elite musical performance’. I think that description


Auckland events are marked with an @ symbol

pretty much makes it worth going to. Apparently nibbles and wine are provided. This event will take place at Hamilton Girls High Atrium, entrance from Ward St, Hamilton and is free. For more information: Pippa Russell 027 443 8198 or

were a ska band, but I wouldn’t know. Skaladdin are going to be performing at the Kings Arms Tavern with support from The WBC, Poisoners and The Forcefields, Auckland 8pm $15 (R18).

Wednesday September 20th

@ This show is for anyone with a fringe and a decent amount of eyeliner. Pop punk bands My

Go vote already! Last chance today.

Life Story, 5 Star Fallout and False Start will be strutting all over the stage at Youthtown, Auckland 7pm $10.

Council meet with Students, 1-2 pm. The Uni Council wants to hear from you. Come to the forum on Wed 27th Sept at the Village Green and talk about fees for 2007. Jazz band Zebra play at The Cook, Cook Street, Hamilton East every Wednesday night from 8pm. This month Shapeshifter are touring around New Zealand to promote the release of their new album Soulstice. You can catch these drum and bass legends at Altitude in Hamilton. Shapeshifter’s last 5 tours have been sold out so I suggest you get your tickets quickly. Tickets are available from Ticketek and Tracs, 461 Victoria Street Hamilton. 12 @ 12 I didn’t even know this existed until just now, and I study at the SOE. 12 @ 12 offers 12 minutes informal performance once a week to a passing audience. It has gained a loyal following from staff and students who bring their lunch and enjoy a mixed bag of items from singing, to jazz guitar, drama to improvised dance. 12 @ 12 is free of charge and welcome students to come along and get involved. This event takes place every Wednesday at midday at the University of Waikato, School of Education, downstairs Foyer. For more information contact Viv Aitken, (she’s very cool) at

Thursday September 21st @ Skaladdin Judging from their name I would think that they

Friday September 22nd

Saturday September 23rd Hamilton hardcore band The Warpath are bringing back the hate 2006 style with friends, Cobra Khan, The Chase and Ryan & The Rockets. This event is being held at Upsett Records, Victoria Street, Hamilton and will probably cost $10. (AA) Our House Presents: UNITY The Our House team have gathered 40 local and international DJs to bring you one unforgettable night. Amongst the 40 live acts playing are New York lyrical sensation Princess Superstar, Concord Dawn, Grant Marshall, Tim Phin and The Funky Riders. Last years Our House event sold out incredibly fast and tickets have been limited to ensure that people are comfortable. This event is at the St James Theatre, Queen Street, Auckland. Tickets are on sale now at Real Groovy or Sounds record stores, or you can get a ticket by txting 858 from a Vodafone mobile. The event is R18 and doors open at 10pm. Art Exhibition ‘The Sea! The Land! The People! Coromandel’ is at 298 Barton Street, Hamilton from September 9th-22nd and it’s free. Check out this collaborative exhibition featuring Paulina McNeill, Angelique de Lano, Raeleen Vanderakker, Dave Fowell, Pamela Plummer, Susan Dunster, Julie Feran and Rachel Olsen. Enquiries to


By Nick W

Painkiller Harvey Normans: $10.00 Electronics Boutique: $13.00 Rating: 4/5 Although this game features a storyline of some description, the main point is to mow through wave after wave of demonic enemies with high powered weaponry, harvesting enough souls in the process to turn into a super-demon capable of killing on sight. That’s pretty much all there is to it and for $10 it’s very hard to pass up. The weapons are unique and entertaining, the enemies are similarly unique and entertaining, the gameplay is action packed and if that isn’t enough for you, level 7 features demon ninjas, which is just plain cool.

Fahrenheit Dick Smith Electronic: $40.00 Rating: 5/5 This is unlike anything

you have ever played. It can be described best as an interactive movie, with the player taking control of the four main characters in an effort to solve a mystery. Without wasting too many words it’s very difficult to explain the gameplay, but trust me: it’s well worth the money. The only downside is that it’s very hard to find a copy these days.

Total Overdose Dick Smith Electronics: $40.00 Rating: 4/5 Think of it as Grand Theft Auto meets Max Payne meets Tony Hawk, all with a flavour very reminiscent of Once Upon a Time in Mexico. Open environments with driveable vehicles, bullet time, and combo points for stylish kills which lets you unleash super attacks such as Exploding Piñatas. Extremely entertaining, but again it is very hard to come by.

Mashed: Drive to Survive The Warehouse: $10.00 Rating: 5/5

Mashed is by far and away one of the best party games ever. The only downside is you’ll need several game controllers for your PC in order to make the most of it. A top down, four player racing game which is dead easy to pick up and play, and guaranteed to give hours and hours of entertainment.

Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow The Warehouse: $30.00 Rating: 4/5 Sam Fisher is a certifiable badass. If you want a game which makes you feel absolutely awesome every time you do something, then this is one game you won’t regret buying. Stealth gaming has never been more satisfying. There’s a storyline too – something about terrorists and you being the only man who can take them down. But mainly, it’s the fact that you play a modern day ninja that gives this game the edge.

Opal Nera Recipe Winners for a few moments after being blown out unless you love that burning sensation in your mouth). You can do the whole shot or eat the marshmallow first how I like it - so good.

Method Put the Opal Nera in first followed by the Baileys (carefully. so that it floats on top of the Opal Nera, use the back of a teaspoon for this) then place the marshmallow on top so it floats in the baileys, (at this point you can drizzle some chocolate syrup on top of the marshmallow and my god that’s good!) then poor over a little Fire Water and set it alight while shaking some cinnamon on the flame, let the marshmallow go almost black and blow out the flame. (This shot has to be left

The Opal Nera Fruit Goblet - Kelsey Birtles Cube 1 red-skinned pear, leaving the peel on. Slice 4 dried apricots into long, thin strips, and julienne 3 basil leaves; toss all the ingredients together gently and place in a goblet. In a saucepan, reduce 1 cup of Opal Nera to 1/4 cup. Remove from the heat and whisk in 2 tablespoons of honey. Decorate the goblet with the Opal Nera reduction. Garnish with shards of bittersweet chocolate and curls of white chocolate and serve. Serves 1.

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Licorice bullet - Moya Ingredients 1 nip of Opal Nera, 1/2 nip of Baileys,1 marshmallow, a dash of Fire Water, some cinnamon (for affect)


WSU Prez

Maori Students’ Officer

Sehai Orgad

Renee Rewi

What to say, what to say…?

I thought that I would dedicate this blurb to thanking all those who have gone out of their way to support me during my term as WSUMSO. Firstly to my family, you who have always stood in the background urging me ever forward to achieve my dreams and join the ranks of my older sister with a law degree. Secondly to my many friends who have been steadfast when things got rocky – always there to give me a hand or a kick whenever I needed it – you guys make doing this job worthwhile and if I could clone you to give to others who need friends like you all, I would. Thirdly to the networks of lecturers, mentors, staff, and all those out there who have given information or just been there when I needed you I say, thanks heaps. Fourth and not last, to my partner, who not only believed in me but also inspired me to be all that

I have spent the past two weeks campaigning my ass off and am trying to figure out what to write about for you all to be interested. There are only really two main points that I need to stress to you at this stage: 1. VOTING Please people, PLEASE exercise your democratic right to vote in this year’s WSU elections. Let’s try to get at least 10% of this student body to vote so that at least this executive can be strengthened by the numbers that have voted for them. You ALL pay a membership levy, which means that you should have a HUGE say as to who governs the student union. 2. FEE SETTING On Wednesday 27 from 1-2, members of the University council will be coming down to the Village Green/Banks area to talk to you about FEE SETTING for 2007. This is probably the first time that council members are coming on to our turf to talk to us about their rational for putting up fees. Please be there and be ready to debate and discuss your ideas and thoughts about the process. Be good everyone, drive safely and take care of yourselves out there.

I can be and want to be. To this person I thank in a very special way because it is the right thing to do – so big hugs and cuddles to you all – see you same place, same job, next year. Apparently it is not enough to be a member of Te Whakahiapo but you have to have the right face as well. Some of you will be in receipt of a list of people for whom you are to vote for – well to Te Whakahiapo I now announce in writing my resignation from your roopu and urge all of my friends who are offended by this devotion and loyalty of one of their own to do the same. Te Whakahiapo had a proud name – it now lives under a cloud, a cloud that they put there because of their reluctance to follow due process – so take it as read, I formally resign from your roopu. THE GOOD BOOK SAYS TURN THE OTHER CHEEK. HOWEVER, I SAY - HOW MANY CHEEKS DO YOU HAVE TO TURN BEFORE YOU CAN SAY, OUCH!

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Make your vote count this week!


International Students’ Officer

Disabled Students’ Officer


Jeff the Chef

I got a txt yesterday, asking if I were still well and where the heck I was.

Upon asking some students who have given up reading this rag why not, they have trouble taking seriously anything that reads so much like comic trash. That said, I sure do appreciate some comic relief when burdened by the academic wave of reading required by those of us here at University. Hard to find a balance I’m sure. I remember the days of the polytechnic where it was often far more labour based, and if you had been in the industry, it was like learning to tie laces at

Well, I was on holiday, something you should try this summer. It’s really good to get the cramped shoulders relaxed, your mind off your assignment marks and you actually get to see a bit more than Hamilton Gardens. Don’t get me wrong - unlike a range of drive –through tourist buses, I personally think that Hamilton Gardens are worth a stop. However, there is more about NZ than the Mystery Creek Events Centre so get that Youth Hostel membership application out and plan some holidays. This has not only the above mentioned advantages but you will also be able to produce your own pictures of famous spots instead of downloading them from . Now that I am back in Hamilton, you can again come and tell me all your sorrows, especially these with immigration and fees. Most of my friends, including me are having a bad time with immigration at the moment, so you can join our club of Victims of Bad Tempered Immigration Officers and Useless Policies (VBTIOUP), we will apply for WSU club funding shortly and are mainly concerned with writing letters of protest to several ministerial bodies. Also we will start collecting money for chocolate boxes to raise the corruption rate at immigration!

18. Went on a field trip last week, to Tongariro Hydro-Power Scheme. Phat set up, and much resource consent sorted by being before the RMA days. Who’s familiar with the concept of fatigue management? Mine suffered greatly, as did this chap’s. A 7am start, into a bus and down to the Tongariro National Park. As if being a passenger isn’t fatiguing enough, there is the whole, ‘having to function in a state reminiscent of some kind of academic application’. Suffice to say, many on the way back fell under the spell of Morpheus. I certainly missed my siesta! Quotes from the day? “I think old man farmers are cute” - Katey

So, for all you guys who are having a bad time with immigration: (write to him, he’s the minister)

“I made her drink a bottle of water from the pool, and I pissed in it, it was my pool”.

For the people, who just want to travel: (here you can download all the pictures you would have taken if your camera wasn’t stolen by the burglars last week)

Here’s to good times at Uni.

And for all you guys who just had enough of both:

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2007 EXECUTIVE CANDIDATES Well, here they are – again – the candidates for next year’s Waikato Students’ Union Executive (in reverse!) Read ‘em and make your choices. Campaigning takes place from 4-15 September, and there’ll be an OSM on the 13th (Wed) where you can question everybody and make sure you’re being represented by the right people. Voting happens from Monday 18th – Wednesday 20th.

Women’s Rights Officer Ana Moriaty Why is B.O.C the best candidate for this position? Could it be the 4 years we have already spent at this university? Or because we are really in touch with the students? We personally believe the reason why we would be best for this position is because we are real students: 1. We know what a 5pm hangover feels like. 2. We really know the meaning of ALLNIGHT assignments 3. We know how long it really is to walk from town back to uni. OUR AIM IS SIMPLE: MAKE IT SO YOU WANT TO COME TO UNI! You can contact us at http://www.myspace. com/boc4waikato Come be our friend

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Sports and Recreation Officer Jason Lum Why is B.O.C the best candidate for this position? Could it be the 4 years we have already spent at this university? Or because we are really in touch with the students? We personally believe the reason why we would be best for this position is because we are real students: 1. We know what a 5pm hangover feels like.


2. We really know the meaning of ALLNIGHT assignments 3. We know how long it really is to walk from town back to uni. OUR AIM IS SIMPLE: MAKE IT SO YOU WANT TO COME TO UNI! You can contact us at http://www.myspace. com/boc4waikato. Come be our friend.

Glen Delamare We have all heard “Winning isn’t everything”… what a load of crap. I want to win your vote and be your next Sports and Recreation Officer. It is this attitude I will take to ensure that as future Sports and Recreation Officer. I will provide to the best of my ability for all Students at Waikato in regards to their sporting and recreational needs. I am a bit of a “Sports Billy” which means I’ll give any sport a go but I specialise as a ”Water - Boy”. So Vote: Glen Delamere

Mature Students’ Officer Alan King and Kerry Mackay Mature students comprise some 40% of the student body at this university. Older students have issues, just as other students do. WSU

has a portfolio dedicated to mature students; we are running cojointly as Mature Students’ officers for 2007 in order to represent this large sector of the student population. However, all members of the WSU executive represent all WSU members. We both have a proven history in serving the student population (for example, we are both currently on the Academic Board, in the interests of the students of our respective schools). We believe in responsibility, representation and an open door. Please vote for Kerry and Alan for 2007.

Vince A MalcolmBuchanan Tena Koutou Katoa, As current WSU Mature Students Officer I’ve actively facilitated multiple achievements including (to name but a few); 1. 2 additional Adult Learners Awards of $1000 each (that’s a ‘first’ in the history of WSU), 2. Resources and a Capital Grants Application for ALMS Commons Room entirely financed through this portfolio, 3. TE HUINGA TAUIRA – the largest ever contingency sent. 4. MMP funding assistance. 5. Student advocacy cases. 6. Motions requiring that NZUSA undertake research regarding issues of ethnic disparity and PBRF methodologies. 2007 I undertake Masters Studies – and seek your support to continue the multifarious and tremendous WSU efforts begun in 2006.


Maori Students’ Officer Tatiana Hohepa and Elaine Kameta Two Hearts, Two Minds, Two Noble Faces and Two for the price of One. Tena Koutou Katoa. 2007 is going to be a fantastic year for nga tauira o tenei Whare Wananga. He aha ai? Because when you vote for Tatiana Hohepa and Elaine Kameta as your Maori Students Officers you are voting for Trust, Honesty, Integrity and the Aotearoa/NZ way (being democratic and all). And what way is that? The fun way, the easy way and the right way! Vote for us and together we will exceed your highest expectations. Make it happen for us, and we will make it happen for you. Na Tatiana Hohepa & Elaine Kameta.

Renee Rewi Ko Renee Rewi taku ingoa, (my name is Renee): Here are my attributes of note: • Strong voice for Mäori students; • Proven event manager for events run by the MSO; • Clear recognition of process that may affect all students on campus; • A strong voice at NZUSA that now recognises Mäori caucus conference, and; • An advocate for student concerns and

GLBT Officer Timothy Swart My personal experiences have equiped me to efficiently perform my role as the gay, lesbian and bi-sexual students officer. In the capacity

Environmental Officer Rowena Smith Why is B.O.C the best candidate for this position? Could it be the 4 years we have already spent at this university? Or because we are really in touch with the students? We personally believe the reason why we would be best for this position is because we are real students: 1. We know what a 5pm hangover feels like. 2. We really know the meaning of ALLNIGHT assignments 3. We know how long it really is to walk from town back to uni. OUR AIM IS SIMPLE: MAKE IT SO YOU WANT TO COME TO UNI! You can contact us at http://www.myspace. com/boc4waikato. Come be our friend.

Claire Taylor and Katy Dimmendaal Claire Taylor: Taurus: 24. Likes cosy nights on the synthetic (fake) rug by the fire. Katy Dimmendaal; Pisces: 23. Likes long walks on a nonpolluted beach. We are both second year Resource and Environmental Planning students. We believe that it is in the students’ and alumni’s best interest to preserve and maintain the university’s diverse environments. If we were elected we will instil this interest and educate people of the complexities of the environment in which we collectively are members of. We like the environment more than you so give us the Environmental Officers role!!

Josh Strong Hi I’m Josh. I chose this position because I am positive in relation to change and ideas. I am responsible and it would be a privilege to

gain this position. I have been a student rep for two semesters and chairman of the philosophy reps. Not trying to sound conceited but it is my first year and already I’m well known, I will work hard for my votes. A bit about myself I have brown long messy hair, it will be brushed if given a formal position. I am musically minded, I play guitar a lot. My influences are Jello Biafra and Henry Rollins.

Finance Officer J Greenless Why is B.O.C the best candidate for this position? Could it be the 4 years we have already spent at this university? Or because we are really in touch with the students? We personally believe the reason why we would be best for this position is because we are real students: 1. We know what a 5pm hangover feels like. 2. We really know the meaning of ALLNIGHT assignments 3. We know how long it really is to walk from town back to uni. OUR AIM IS SIMPLE: MAKE IT SO YOU WANT TO COME TO UNI! You can contact us at http://www.myspace. com/boc4waikato Come be our friend

Tauranga Representative Anthony McKenna I am currently in my second year of a Bch Teaching (Primary) and I have been the elected Tauranga Rep Officer for the last year and would consider it a privilege to continue in the role. During this year I have endeavoured to ensure that the Tauranga Students receive a level of support that their Student Union fees demand, at the same time I want to make sure that the Waikato Student Union is financially rigorous in

ISSUE ISSUE21 19/ /18 4 SEPTEMBER 2006

hardship matters. Ultimately my job is to support all Maori students of Waikato University. WSUMSO is a job I take very seriously which is accounted for in my performance reports as MSO 2006. VOTE FOR RENEE, THE MSO WITH A TRACK RECORD SECOND TO NONE!!!!

of my role i want to increase awareness of gay, lesbian and bi-sexual students equality, and make it acceptable for students to be accepted by their fellow students. As with myself in the past, there are many students at present dealing with the issue of their sexuality, with the right support and understanding i believe that these students can reach their full potential.


2007 WSU EXEC CANDIDATES all its activities and that monies expended can be explained to you the Union members.

Education Officer Ben Delaney and Whetu Taukamo Kiaora, Maloelelei, Talofa, Nihao, Konichiwa, Bonjour, Hola, Ciao, Aloha and Hello, Education is a word beginning with ‘E’ like excellence, elegance, efficient and environment. You may be thinking to yourself “this sounds familiar”…that’s because we are currently Enviropene and Envirowhets. After successfully serving students interests in the Environment portfolio for 2006 we now seek to run co-jointly as your Education officers for 2007. We will re-brand if successful in obtaining this position, changing our names to ‘Edupene’ and ‘Eduwhets.’ As evidence of our past achievements read past nexus issues 15-18. Vote for us please please please.

Disabled Students’ Issues Officer Jeff Hawkes

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Greetings Voting for me, you will be voting for someone who has had experience in dealing with student organisations. I have represented at a national level. I bring an element of experience and am always ready to help others (committee members and students alike) in the pursuit of their goals. I want more space for students to have events catered for. SUB ground floor is ok, but in this case, more space would be great. I’d like to see WSU do a bit of a final day’s bash, on Friday 13 October, the last day of teaching, get back to me with your thoughts. . . Jeff the Ref

Campaigns Officer


Liam Kerr Why is B.O.C the best candidate for this position? Could it be the 4 years we have already spent at this university? Or because we are really in touch with the students? We personally believe the reason why we would be best for this position is because we are real students: 1. We know what a 5pm hangover feels like. 2. We really know the meaning of ALLNIGHT assignments 3. We know how long it really is to walk from town back to uni. OUR AIM IS SIMPLE: MAKE IT SO YOU WANT TO COME TO UNI! You can contact us at http://www.myspace. com/boc4waikato. Come be our friend.

Olivia Beattie WANTED! You want someone who will inject life onto our campus, organise fun events, and run cool competitions with even cooler prizes. Someone who can communicate student issues to you in a way that you understand their impact on your life. Someone who wants to give Waikato Uni the student life it deserves. Straight out of our PR department, I have the skills, enthusiasm, and determination to be this someone. Vote Olivia for Campaigns Officer!

Vice President Moira Neho WANTED! Ok, so Vice-President may not be the sexiest role in the union but someone has to do it and I’m putting up my hand. You want someone who isn’t afraid to stand up and say exactly what everyone is thinking but are too scared to say. You want someone who is confident enough to sit down with the B-Blockers (university administration) and not accept everything they say as the law. You want me!

I have the passion and skills to be your VicePresident, and most of all I want to. Vote Moira for Vice-President!

Megan Moffet I have had a busy 2 years as the GLBT Officer on the WSU executive, and I am looking forward to new challenges in the Vice President position. I’ve organised many events for Queer students like Pride Week and a mentoring scheme and would like to extend my talents to the entire student population. As VP I want to assist all executives in their portfolios, so that our students get much more than a free sausage for their $84. My experiences on the WSU and political science studies have given me knowledge of student politics, which is invaluable when fighting for student rights at home or nationally.

Kahu Nikora Hi my name is Kahu, The role of Vice President is to support the good function of not only the WSU VP role but also the WSU President and WSU as a whole. To be able to do this a VP must be able to assume responsibility for the function of President at a moment’s notice should the need arise. A clear knowledge of WSU policies along with those needed to develop security for the members of WSU and their interests. My many years in student politics has prepared me: Vote with the information that I possess the strengths and aptitude to fulfil the office of VP – Vote Kahu Nikora VP.

M Dalton Why is B.O.C the best candidate for this position? Could it be the 4 years we have already spent at this university? Or because we are really in touch with the students? We personally believe the reason why we would be best for this position is because we are real students: 1. We know what a 5pm hangover feels like. 2. We really know the meaning of ALL NIGHT assignments

2007 WSU EXEC CANDIDATES 3. We know how long it really is to walk from town back to uni. OUR AIM IS SIMPLE: MAKE IT SO YOU WANT TO COME TO UNI! You can contact us at http://www.myspace. com/boc4waikato. Come be our friend.

Carl Gordon I’ve been Vice-President in 2005 and 2006, and plan to continue to play a useful role in WSU. I have the maturity, people and organisational skills, and the institutional knowledge and experience, to manage the role well. I’ve worked to improve WSU’s professionalism, service provision, advocacy and representation roles, with input into the University’s long-term planning. I’ve drafted a Strategic Plan and Education policy for WSU. I’ve spent 18 months working on new strategic goals for NZUSA, with a detailed submission recently. I’ve sought greater financial prudence, constitutional accountability, and more student involvement in WSU. I have integrity and commonsense.

WSU President

Sehai Orgad I am running for President again this year because the revolution of ideas, change and participation has just started. We are over the apathy of the past and are now moving towards the era of student empowerment. There is still much to be done, new processes that need to be established, relationships to be cultivated, and developing a truly inspiring student culture on campus. Over the past year I have listened to students’ voices, represented you on the University Council and Academic Board and been your advocate when problems have arisen. I have the experience and hope to continue to serve you for another year.

Kahu Nikora Hi my name is Kahu, If you are looking for a charismatic leader who is not afraid of stepping on toes to ensure students get a fair deal, welcome to my world. Ever since I came to tertiary learning I have been involved in representing student rights in one way or another

just because I care. Knowing the hurt you face every time things go wrong means I have the ability to quickly assess your needs, and then come up with amicable solutions to suit you. If you want WSU to deliver then I am your man: Vote for the guy who cares – vote Kahu Nikora for President of WSU.

Carl Bishop Why is B.O.C the best candidate for this position? Could it be the 4 years we have already spent at this university? Or because we are really in touch with the students? We personally believe the reason why we would be best for this position is because we are real students: 1. We know what a 5pm hangover feels like. 2. We really know the meaning of ALLNIGHT assignments 3. We know how long it really is to walk from town back to uni. OUR AIM IS SIMPLE: MAKE IT SO YOU WANT TO COME TO UNI! You can contact us at http://www.myspace. com/boc4waikato. Come be our friend.

Voting information

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Voting for the WSU executive elections is being held Mon 18 to Wed 20 from 10 am to 4 pm at Management pedestrian crossing, the library, outside the banks and at reception at the Tauranga Campus.


A View from the VC A Busy Time of Year for the University By Professor Roy Crawford

This is a crucially important time of year for the on-going success of the University. Normally the October meeting of Council has to set budgets and agree the student fees for the following year. This year there are additional critical factors related to the new government funding methodology, and the major new capital development plans that were foreshadowed in the Vision and Strategic Plans for the University. These are all extremely important issues for the University. We are operating in a very competitive tertiary sector, and we must build a strong university for the future generations of students. This means that we must be financially stable, with teaching and research activities that offer excellence across a broad range of subjects. Universities do not need to create profits in the way that a business does, but we must create a surplus each year to invest back into the institution. If we do not achieve this then we will stagnate, or move backwards relative to the competition.

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006

Students have an extremely important role to play


in guiding the decision-making processes in the University. The student voice matters because it is in all of our interests to enhance the reputation of the University of Waikato. Senior managers of the

A particular example of the good working relationships between senior management and the student representatives relates to the fee setting process. As we deliberate on the fees for

University do their best to prioritise expenditure, but they cannot always be certain about what is best for the students. Therefore we look to the student representatives for help with financial and strategic decisions.

2007, we have had regular meetings with WSU representatives to keep them fully aware of the options that are being considered and the drivers in the decision process.

I am pleased to say that this year has seen the building of strong relationships and communications between the students and the new University management team. We were delighted to have received very well considered input from WSU on all of the major issues identified in the University’s new Strategic Plan. In the Plan we state that we want the University to have a vibrant student culture, but we need help from students to advise us on what is needed to achieve this objective. Throughout 2006 the student President, Sehai Orgad, and the WSU Executive have effectively and competently represented the student voice. It has been crucially important for us to have received consistent and constructive input in this time of major change at the University. This input has occurred not only at the official forums, such as Council, but also at private briefings which we have held regularly with Sehai and her team.

As we approach the final stages of this process, leading up to the October Council meeting, Sehai and some members of the University Council have arranged a special meeting with the student body to discuss openly the issues and concerns about the fees for 2007. This forum will take place at the Village Green area on Wednesday 27 September from 1-2pm. I believe that this is a positive way of encouraging dialogue and debate about a contentious issue that the University faces every year. Senior members of Council and University management will be present to hear your views and discuss the issues. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Sehai and the WSU Executive for their constructive input to this process, and for their help with the development of the Strategic Plan for the University.

What do you think about fees for 2007? The Uni Council wants to hear from you. Come to the forum on Wed 27th Sept 1-2 pm and discuss the issues.

Send your notices of 100 words or less to, or drop into box at WSU reception. Deadline is 5pm Tues.

Live opposite Uni! Flat 4 rent. 5 b/r, double garage, w/m. Shitloads of parking. Primo landlord. 95 Knighton Rd. Cheap rent - $340 p/w. Available November 1st. Call or text Ben on 0273606938 or 078565267. 2 rooms for rent available now. 4 bedroom house, share with 3 others. Plenty of parking plus double garage, backyard. Rent includes rent, power, food, phone, internet and Sky. $120 per week. $250 bond. Call Tim 0273132610 or Nick 0211782258. Flatmate wanted Claude Street, massive five bedroom house, central heating, dishwasher to share with 4 ½ others. $130.00 per week includes rent, food, generally covers the power and sky bill.

Battle of the Bombays

This weekend!

FLATMATE WANTED URGENTLY room in a flat has become available in hamilton east flat, the room is a really decent size, big enough for double bed, desk, dressing table etc. rent is $100 for sky digital, broadband, phone, power and rent.. To live with 3 awesome chicks, 2 students one hairdresser, guy or girl aslong as your cool and you pay rent ontime.. call 07 856 2242 or text Amanda on 0210465689.. Flatmates Wanted 2 x rooms, $80 per week per room + expens. Cameron road, close to Uni and shops. To share with 1 female student and one working male and a cat. Txt or Call Danielle: 027 3016727

Need a babysitter? Experienced 3rd year uni student seeks full, part-time or occasional childcare position. If you or anyone you know would be interested in meeting for an interview or would like a resume and/or references, please contact or ph (text or call) 0273548847. Availability – Mon: am - noon, 5 - pm, Tues: 1 - pm, Wed: any am/pm, Thur: 2 – pm, Fri: 1 – pm, and weekends any am/pm.

Theses and dissertations receive VIP treatment at Editwrite. We offer an efficient, competitive and fully professional service for you. We will correct your spelling, punctuation and grammar and make your text fluent, clear and literate. Visit us at When you write wrong, we right the wrongs.

The Annual University of Waikato and Auckland University sporting clash on Saturday 23rd September turns 18 this year with nine sports contesting for the Don Llewellyn Trophy. It is expected that Waikato will retain the Don Llewellyn shield but there is always that Auckland factor, so get out and support Waikato.

Sport Rowing

Women Men Women Women Men Men B Team Men Women Mixed Men Men Mixed

Venue Waikato River Grantham Street

Uni Rec Centre Uni Rec Centre Uni Rec Centre Uni Rec Centre Uni Rec Centre School of Ed Gym School of Ed Gym University Fields - Soccer 2 University Fields - top field 3 University Fields - Soccer 2 WTA Edgecumbe Street Hillcrest Bowling Club Don Llewellyn Bar

Time ProgrammeTbc 9.00am 9.00am 10.30am 12.30pm 2.30pm 4.30pm 9am -11am 11am -3pm 1.00pm 2.00pm 2.45pm 11am -3pm 11am -3pm 7pm

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006

Netball Basketball Basketball Volleyball Volleyball Basketball Badminton Soccer Touch Soccer Table Tennis Bowls Prize Giving / Party

Men & Women



Life’s not what it’s Croc-ed Up to be With the death of Steve Irwin and Peter Brock, Australia in particular and the world in general have lost…two guys, no more, no less. And you know what? Both of them deserved to die. Take your feelings about either one of them and put them in the drawer because RIAC is about to get analytic. Scary, I know, but hey, there’s a first time for everything right? A friend of mine, let’s call him “Simba”, blew a fuse when he heard me say this about Brock and Irwin. But I stood by my statement. Let me be very clear, I am not talking about whatever good they did for the community in their life, I am specifically talking about the situation in which they died. Dictionary. com defines “deserve” as ‘to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance, punishment, etc.) because of actions, qualities, or situation’. Now, if you are going to go swimming with sting rays or drive a car in excessive speeds on an unsealed road, you take a higher-thannormal risk with your life and should something go wrong, you deserve all the consequences that come with it, including death. I’m quite aware that both men took safety precautions, but the fact of the matter is that they both put themselves in unnecessary danger. The news reported Steve’s death as being a “freak” accident. No, a freak accident would have been if he was sitting on a boat, and a stingray jumped out of the water and killed him. He got into the water knowing that these things can kill (granted, not very often, but that’s beside the point). A more deserving death there is not. His actions warranted his demise.

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Now regular readers of RIAC (all 3 of you) will know my feelings about motorsport and the incredible waste of resources it is. That’s why I delight when someone does something so risky and comes unstuck. No matter how many seatbelts and rollcages a car has, chance are that if you race a car at incredible speeds enough times, you will crash at some point. That’s crash may even be bad enough to kill yourself. And if you do die in that way, yeah, you deserved it.


I’m not saying that we should wrap ourselves in cotton wool and never take a risk in life. If we want to bungee jump and swim with sharks, hell, why not? But we have to realise that if we die doing it, we got what was coming to us, right? If I was killed in a “freak” stingray attack, I would most likely end up in the annals of the Darwin Awards. So stop making these two brain damaged individuals out to be heroes. They aren’t. They died doing something stupid, but it was something they loved. I’m sure if they could, they would agree that by taking the risks they did, they deserved the death they got.

Date: Wednesday 20 September 2006 Time: 1:00 PM - 1:50 PM Location: Gallagher Concert Chamber - WEL Energy Trust Academy of Performing Arts What: Lunchtime recital series – The Students Sick and tired of ‘New Zealand Idol’ and the commercialization of developing talent? I am, and so are a number of more influential individuals. When asked to make a guest appearance on the show Boh Runga graciously declined the offer: “I’d rather lick the inside of a toilet bowl.” Dave Dobbyn has not been enthralled with the series either calling it a “television game show” that he is “just not interested in”. These sentiments reverberate amongst the musical elite of our country including the Finn brothers and the like. Here is a chance to see what protégées of our music department have been up to. It is a chance to witness raw talent without media embellishment; before it is either prostituted by the likes of ‘New Zealand Idiot’… erm Idol, or goes on to bigger and better things. Date: Wednesday 20 September 2006 Time: 5:30 PM - 7:30 PM Location: AG.30 (enter gate 8 off Hillcrest Rd) University of Waikato What: Planes, spacecraft and automotive electronic control systems Dr. Asad Madni, will enlighten the masses as to the operation of the quartz rate sensor (QRS) and its significance in controlling the electronic stability program (ESP), rollover prevention and traction control (TC) systems in modern cars. The lecture will cover the origins of QRS sensor technology; developed initially for more advanced systems such as aircraft and spacecraft, and the scaling down processes employed to meet the requirements of less expensive systems we utilize every day. If you enjoy Nick’s ‘Engine Talk’ column, this free lecture is an ideal complement; learn some new acronyms to confuse your friends and impress the ladies, while expanding the breadth of your petrol fueled passion. High levels of intensity, steely determination, a lack of clothes, and apparently mouth guards are all mandatory requirements for…the rock, paper, scissors (RPS) world tournament. If humanity’s unlimited potential to turn anything into a competition was at all in doubt, then behold the proof. Gaze in awe as nimrods from all over the world congregate in Canada for what must be one of the greatest travesties in sport. Don’t get me wrong, RPS will always have its place resolving disputes on the playground, but beyond that one has to ask the question - why? If you are like me, equipped with a semi-competitive nature, willing to tackle even the most absurd of challenges then check out the Nexus forums for upcoming events: The ‘Puzzle Bobble’ tournament is cracking up to be something special; register your interest today.



They say ignorance is bliss. What you don’t know won’t hurt you. In some cases it may appear to be a good option to bury your head and not know something, but there’s a certain level you go to. Bury your head too far and you just start losing respect for things because you turn away the knowledge. Well, if we all did that then we’d still be cavemen, running around naked with wooden spears and chasing lions.


What the hell am I talking about? Well, it’s become evident to me that some people don’t know anything about their car. I mean sure, I don’t expect everyone to be able to tell me their car’s cc rating or its bhp, but it gets out of hand when they can’t tell me what the make or model is. For instance, a friend recently told me there was a car she was going to buy for thousands of dollars. When asked what it was, she replied “a black one!” I replied

the greatest creations of mankind’s history. The absolute minimum you should know is what your car actually is. However, you should really know the engine capacity, how many kms it’s done, what size wheels are on it, etc. You should know what the wheels are too; it’s stupid when people tell me about the flash mags their car has, then I look and see they’re just lame factory plastic hubcaps. If you really insist on burying your head from any

When you buy a car based on colour alone, you’re being disrespectful. A car demands your respect, and deserves to be looked after and treated well. After all, go back 70 or so years and there wouldn’t even be the prospect of having a car. They are an engineering feat, and one of man’s most marvelous and useful tools. To be ignorant of a car is turning your back on one of

there you go.

So you have probably noticed by now that I usually start of each column with a quote? Well, I’m deviating from my standard pattern today, and besides, do you know how hard it is to find quotes about zebra? And by the way is the plural ‘zebra’ or zebras’? Oxford English Dictionary Online quotes both, so that doesn’t really help me.

Now, down to business. The word ‘zebra’ was borrowed from what the Oxford English Dictionary Online calls Congolese. There are few linguistic references to a language called Congolese. However, it is likely that what the dictionary actually refers to is the language known as Koongo (also called Congo), which is one of many languages spoken in the Democratic Republic of Congo. The earliest reference to the word ‘zebra’ is around 1600, and it appears that the word was borrowed directly into English only shortly before this date. Similar forms of the word have been borrowed into French, seen in the form zèbre, Portuguese zebra, and Spanish cebre.

You may also be wondering why on earth I would choose ‘zebra’ as my word for this week. Well, I must confess, it is for an entirely superficial reason. I was looking through the list of words I have done so far and noticed that there was a decided lack of words beginning with ‘z’, and ‘zebra’ was the first word that came to mind, so

station. Such as when I drove my brother’s cars to a gas station with the tyre rolled off the rim. And when the distributor in my old car had a mental when I went to leave after filling it up; in both of those situations I’ve needed tools and knowledge available from the servo. Learn some stuff about your car. You owe it that much.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines ‘zebra’ as “a South African equine quadruped (Equus or Hippotigris zebra), of a whitish ground-colour striped all over with regular bars of black; inhabiting mountainous regions, and noted for its wildness and swiftness.” And you thought it was just a white and black striped horse-typething! Apparently this term is also applied to the “whole subgenius hippotigris” including the “quagga”…whatever that is. The word zebra can form a multitude of zebrarelated words when combined with various affixes. Common derivations include; “zebracrossing”, the stripy bit of road pedestrians are supposed to walk over and ‘zebra’ used as an adjective for anything stripy. It is also seen in some slightly more unsual forms such as “zebraed” which apperntly means “striped like a zebra”, or “zebraic” which means “characteristic of a zebra”, although my personal favourite is “zebroid”, the offspring of a zebra. Of course there’s always “zebrule” or “zedonk” which is a cross between a mule and a zebra. And before you ask, no, I didn’t make up any of these words. Don’t believe me? Go and have a look at Oxford English Dictionary Online for yourself!

ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006


knowledge of cars, you shouldn’t have a car at all; you will be an unsafe and unaware driver, and you don’t deserve to own it. You should not be allowed to work in car-related places either; a close friend of mine tells me of a workmate that worked at a gas station and didn’t know anything about cars. Some might argue that you don’t need to know that stuff to work at a gas station, but I disagree; there have been times when I depend on the knowledge and resources available at a gas



By The Panther

Tip # 27 : Gangsta gear. Ever wondered why rappers wear extremely large clothing? Weight training, my hairy palmed friend, that’s why I’ve started blingin it out yo. I’ve got some bling on my chain that’s so heavy it makes my neck angry, and if there is one person you don’t want to fuck with it’s my neck, he’s crazy I once saw him stab a man just to see him bleed. And I have discovered that oversized G Unit shirts can also be used as parachutes when running away from a thugged out gansta fight on the streets of Compton. GangsTard for life!

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Tip # 28 : Tattoos. If there is one thing that can improve on a perfectly sculpted pair of guns it is a tattoo, but make sure you pick something cool that means something to you, rather than getting drunk and tattooing ‘pain’ in Chinese on your wrist with a needle and a bic pen. This results in a tattoo that is so small that people think that you have a tiny irregular mole on your wrist. So remember if you’re going to get some ink to accentuate your muscles, get it big and professionally done. I recommend ‘Dave’s tattoos’ in Htown. Don’t go the homemade Emo route. There are two things you should always pay for - tattoos and genital piercing. But if you do decide to do your own tattoo and have a long greasy fringe, feel free to join the uni ‘Kemo’ club - that stands for Krazy Emos.


Warning: This article isn’t actually funny or anything this week. Hi-ho neighbours! This week, Vitamin C and Special K summarise the OSM so you don’t have to read the big long wordy articles. Anyway, as far as the Presidential candidates went, we were getting sausages when the B.O.C candidate was speaking, and we were really trying to listen, but he was talking broken sentences and didn’t really seem to be promoting much. And the guy beside me kept asking for “mo’ sauce, bitch”. Crowd Response: “……mumble cough clap” Kahu talked about the lack of help from the WSU with some students stung for plagiarism, and tried to tell everyone that the WSU was surrounding us with compulsion, not quite sure what that was all about, but here’s the good stuff: Apparently we need to form a “National Front” so we can tell the WSU not to tell us what to do in our own homes. He was questioned pretty heavily on an alleged threat on a Nexus reporter, and responded that he didn’t say he was going to ‘knock your fucking block off’, just that he felt like it. This prompted a brief discussion on feelings. He was also questioned about his statements that he will work to give Nexus its own autonomy, and explained that he felt Nexus needed to be its own business entity, and if that meant the WSU would have to pay full price for its stuff in Nexus he was willing to support that. Crowd Response: Moderate clapping. Sehai made a fired up speech addressing the key issues of her campaign, mainly that she had cleared up all the shit from leftover presidents and had a clean slate to work from. She was challenged about her lack of support for student advocacy, but insisted that a lot of hard work had been put into it. Sehai also reminded the crowd of her heavy consultation work with politicians and the efforts put into getting heavy student involvement. You know what, fuck this. We promise never to put anything serious in this column again. Here’s what you need to know. The WSU President needs to know what they are doing, not have a personal agenda, and must be able to deal with all the politicking shit without making heaps of enemies. Vice must be able to put lots of hard work in behind the scenes. Campaigns officer is the one who organises your parties and O-week. The rest are selfexplanatory. Vote accordingly! Just make sure you vote. Quotes of the day (out of context): BOC Vice pres candidate: “I’m not 100% clued up.” Sehai: something about “not hating on everyone”. That was pretty cool. Kahu said criminal assault was “really bad”. One of the Maori officer candidates spoke entirely in Maori, and made some interesting points. Whetu and Pene sang some songs. And I wasn’t allowed to run for White People’s Officer, Male’s Rights Officer, or Symphonic Metal Officer. Fuckers.

COLUMNS clichéd (coming from a Bogan like myself, that’s saying something!). Also there’s that steady beat in the background at the start that would throw me off too.

The Sexus Episode Okay, so we’re getting down to the last few Boganologies here – sad but true. In the desperate quest for ratings, what else is on our list? We’ve discussed girls, giveaways, had an event…ah, sex. Sex sells. “I asked you if you want a little rhythm in you – you said you want some rock n roll instead” – ACDC

true of sex as well. As Chris Rock says, generally the music you were listening to when you first started having sex is going to be your favourite kind of music. Ah, metal. Out of respect for people’s, and my own, privacy I can’t talk about the music I like to have sex to (and no-one wants to hear about my sex life anyway!) So instead I thought I’d talk about some music that hypothetically would not be good to have sex to:

GWAR: Again, love the music, but I think that if there’s anyone out there who seriously likes to have sex to songs with titles like “Fucking an animal”, “Fish Fuck” or “The Master has a Butt” then you have some serious issues! Well that’s enough embarrassment from me. For all you Night Visions people I’m just starting to work on a second metal gig so keep an eye out for that and we’ll see what we can do. Stay Bogan \m/

When I used to go to AIT, a friend was hassling

Rammstein: Now as much as I like these crazy

my choice of music and basically said “How can you listen to music like that? How are you going to chat up a chick and have sex while that music is going on? How do you have sex to music like that?” My response: “Depends on how you have sex.” In a previous column I talked about how music makes things better, and how it’s probably due to the whole adrenaline factor,so that can be

Germans, sex would be a no-no. Why? That steady beat would just throw me off and I’d start laughing. Again, I like the music but it’d be like having sex to a metronome. ‘Closer’ (NIN): I know what you’re thinking: What the hell? Now while this song may be made for this kind of carry on – it’s a little too obvious and

The Wall Pink Floyd Reviewed by Macca million. Well, Wikipedia states that ‘Thriller is the world’s all-time best selling album, with sales estimated at over 51 million copies’. I’m pretty sure that warrants a kick in the nuts. However, I know Panther has a catlike wit and will try to say that ‘over 51 million copies’ could, in theory, mean 150 million copies. In light of all this, I am going to ask you people to vote (along with your favourite rock songs of all time) on whether C.J. should get to kick Panther in the balls. Now before you jump on the

The Wall features ‘Comfortably Numb’ which was recently voted as having the greatest guitar solo of all-time by a British radio station poll (Skynyrd’s ‘Freebird’ was third after ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’).

‘Comfortably Numb’ is so amazing that you could buy the album just for this one song and be happier than Rosie O’Donnell at an all you can eat buffet. Even still, the rest of the album is legendary in its own right and thoroughly deserves an 8.8.

Competition! Thanks to everyone for entering, all two of you! Fuck, students are lazy. The winner is tms24@waikato. Congratulations. Next week’s prize is Presence by Led Zeppelin. All you gotta do is tell me your favourite rock song ever. Easy. P.S. Vote on whether I should crush the Panther as well! Hahahaha.

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This week we review The Wall which is arguably the most well known album from sensationally popular rock group Pink Floyd. Worldwide, Pink Floyd have sold over 200 million albums, not a bad effort, but one must remember that this is only around half of what ABBA sold. Actually, while we are on the topic of album sales, I think The Panther is still owed a kick in the nuts from C.J. over a bet on one of Michael Jackson’s albums. The Panther incorrectly claimed that Thriller sold 150 million copies worldwide, while C.J. said it was only around 50

bandwagon and say ‘yeah, kick him in the nuts Kenny!’ you have to remember who you are dealing with. The Panther is not someone who will like getting kicked in the groin and when the sack hits the track he is going to be angry, and, if not hit hard enough, mobile. So, in all probability, after the kick C.J. is going to have 300 pounds of pure muscle bearing down on him like Randy Bo-bandy bearing down on a pile of double cheese-burgers. Ask yourself, is C.J’s life worth seeing the mighty Panther momentarily incarcerated?

Email to





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Art Wanks

Don’t hate the game… hate the player.

After the last two articles we decided to take a break and gather our thoughts before we cast our raving eye on another facet on society. This week we decided to put an axe to the Art Wanks and then butcher them until it bleeds.

“I see you walking in the club, making moves, feeling love… you know you’re sexy.”

The concept of the Art Wanks isn’t so far removed from the Emo Kid. In fact, most Art Wanks were Emo Kids once, back in the happy time before they grew up and saw how pathetic and misunderstood they were dressing in black clothing, straightening their hair and listening to whiney rock music. Now the Art Wank’s dress is mismatched clothing, not bothering to even look after their hair and listening to music that, in all honesty, makes no sense at all. The phrase “Art Wank” comes from the English word ‘art,’ meaning to fart about in a decorative fashion; and ‘wank,’ meaning to gently stimulate one’s reproductive organs in a manner akin to Lady Macbeth rubbing her… hands. So, in essence, an Art Wank is someone who gently stimulates their reproductive organs whilst farting about in a decorative manner. Alternatively the Latin phrase “Articus-Wankus” with its meaning of ‘to stimulate ones genitals whilst uncontrollably passing feces’ sheds some brown light on what an Art Wank is.

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As a result the Art Wank takes pleasure in the viewing of the many different art forms that exist in society; fringe theatre; art film; indie music; interpretive dance; and sadomasochism. All of these art forms are fascinating for the Art Wank in that no one else apart from them can understand what it really is due to its insane nonsensical nature. This in turn gives the Art Wanks a feeling of superiority over everyone else, just like a dominatrix has a feeling of superiority over her male bondage submissive.


Musically, bands such as The Mint Chicks and The 5, 6, 7, 8s are indicative of the Art Wank’s inner psyche – so excited that they make up words and sentences that nobody can comprehend but themselves and other fellow Art Wanks. In conclusion, Art Wanks are the frizzy-haired, tweed blazer-wearing, nonsensical evolved form of the Emo Kid. To use some unflattering imagery, if the Emo Kid is represented as being a vagina, then the Art Wank is the anus. This is because they’re only two inches apart from each other. And Art Wanks generally talk a lot of shit.


ou all know him. You’ve all seen him in action before. He’s the solidbuilt, square-jawed rugby player type. He’s groomed to perfection, wearing Hugo Boss, Bulgari Blu, or some other irresistible cologne. His hair styled into an oh-so-metro ‘mohawk’ (or in some cases a ‘mo-mullet’). This guy has one thing on his mind - game. He captivates you with his intense gaze from across the bar. You’ve had a few drinks with the girls, but you should know better. Despite your friend’s warnings, you slur that you know what you’re doing. Before you know it, you’re dirty dancing on the dance floor, and your better judgment is impaired by a bad combination of lust and intoxication. You fall for his devilish charm, his luscious eyes, and his rock-hard body. You see a challenge. You can change his ways, fix his flaws and then he’ll be perfect! Right? Wrong. Why are these players like this? What gives them the compulsion to charm the pants off a girl, sometimes literally? I asked male friend, who explained that it’s like going for a prize to assert your masculinity. He says, “Guys are primitive, we love to chase. The thrill is in the hunt”. The book “He’s Just Not That Into You” offers a theory. “Bad boys are bad because they’re troubled, as in having little self-respect, lots of pent up anger, loads of self-loathing, complete lack of faith in any kind of loving relationship, but yes, really cool clothes and often a great car”. Perhaps it’s for selfvalidation - or perhaps it’s just for sport? One experience I’ve had with one of these ‘players’ turned out to be disastrous! Player Warning Sign 1: This guy didn’t move from the same spot all night. These types of guys tend to hunt in packs – eyeing up prey before moving in for the kill. Player Warning Sign 2: He was smooth, he’d obviously charmed many girls before, but it’s a thought you just push into the back of your head while enjoying the flirting. Player Warning Sign 3: When he wrote his name & number into my phone, he wrote it as “(name) HOT”. Who does that? Seriously! Player Warning Sign 4: Turned out he’d already hooked up with several of my closest friends! RED ALERT! So how can you avoid falling for these player-types? Firstly, know how to spot the losers. This is quite easy because they’re all clones: good looks (and they know it), dripping in cologne, an ultra-tight t-shirt, and the player’s standard mohawk haircut. A second tip is if you’re looking for something more serious, town is probably the worst place to look. Mainly, just be careful. Listen to others if they warn you about a bad reputation. Otherwise you’ll end up with a lot more in common with your friends (and many others!) than you’d like to. Yeeeuck!


Restaurants By Hazazel

Hydro Majestic It was a beautiful spring afternoon when Sam and I finally made it to the Hydro Majestic (Jellicoe Dr, Ham East) for Sunday brunch. I’d been meaning to go for ages since I’ve heard good things about it. It seems the rest of Hamilton is way ahead of me. Despite the crowds, we managed to score a table (albeit an inside one), and perused the menu; smaller than expected - it is very much a breakfast/brunch menu, though it does have some quite substantial offerings. On the other hand, the choice of beverages is broad - everything from herbal teas to hard liquor. I was tempted by the fabulous coffee aromas pervading the place into having a mocchachino (very indulgent and chocolaty). Sam had a smooth and

crisp muffin, wonderfully flavoursome veggies. Fantastic. Sam, of course, went for the meatiest option - the open steak sammie: An amazingly tender piece of steak on salad greens and mayonnaise and topped with caramelised onions and a hunk of blue cheese, accompanied by a heap of hot, crisp fries. Not the cheapest lunch around, but top-notch quality, and incredibly satisfying.

fruity berry smoothie (dairy free). They seem to have a range of options for various food limitations including gluten-free/vegan etc, and a good children’s menu.

whether our order was lost in the bustle or something, but this took a very long time to arrive, considering all they needed to do was put it on a plate with a little whipped cream and maple syrup. It was, however, worth the wait - a stupendous end to a great meal. The service is friendly, but the Hydro’s popularity works against it a little during peak times. Decor is unusual and eclectic (especially in the toilets). This place is definitely worth a visit, especially if you can catch it when it’s a bit quieter.

Our meals took a while to arrive, but not unreasonably long, given the crowd. I had eggs benedict with roast red capsicum and portobello mushroom. This was very rich and filling for something so healthysounding. Masses of hollandaise sauce, two perfectly poached eggs,

Despite our sated feeling, I was not leaving until we tried one of their spectacular-looking cakes/slices. They are $5 each, but absolutely massive. We decided to share a piece of oaty caramel slice. I don’t know

eek Web of the wee ebsite of

and going to ‘Seduction of the innocent’ in the image galleries. Do so somewhere where you can laugh out loud if necessary. The gallery catalogues a splendid array of allegedly unintentional sexual innuendo in comics of the past, with plenty of the homoerotic variety. If you’ve ever protested that

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In honour of Pride Week, Nexus heartily recommends checking out:

‘Batman isn’t gay!’, this is the site for you.


By M. Emery While some bands in the Waikato are dissolving, new ones are forming to take their place. A new untitled outfit combining various members of Skeletor, Rose Petals & Confetti and Anger Management have been busting out some tunes of late. I have it on good authority the bulk of these musos don’t live with their parents. Something new and fresh is in the wings with the estrogen fueled The Oversights, who I hear will be treading the boards in October/November. A new musical project from members of the Mole family is in the works and a newly formed lo-fi pop outfit, Warm By Summer, have been recording an EP. Hamilton’s latest compilation CD, Area 07, was released last week. If you missed out on your copy of this wonderful array of artists and Amy Racecar you can still get a copy from Defy and Tracs. The World Battle of the Bands regional final is on at Axces this Friday and will be featuring last year’s winners Slipping Tongue. Slipping Tongue are a metal-corish band from Rotorua. They are a nice bunch of folks and have a female singer with an amazing voice. Seriously, she makes that fella from Blindspott sound like a muppet. I highly recommend some Slipping Tongue action for everyone. Another band gracing our shores in support of a recent album are AFI with a show at the St James in Auckland on November 10th. Cambridge’s favourite sons The Datsuns have their third LP, Smoke and Mirrors, dropping October 2nd. Word is this album features some deviations from their garage sound, with some longer songs and some would say progressive elements. Hopefully we’ll see them back on our shores with some support shows for it. The St James will also be host to the Taste of Chaos gig on October 8th, featuring an International lineup of bands with a smattering of locals. Emo, Faux-Hardcore, Mascara core and other genres will be represented by the following: Taking Back Sunday Thursday Underoath Senses Fail Saosin Anti-Flag Cold By Winter Cobra Khan The Rabble Tomorrow comes in silence Tickets are $71.50 and available from Real Groovy Records and TicketDirect. Christchurch and Melbourne based live drum and bass outfit Shapeshifter are due in town on Wed 20 September at Altitude in support of their recently released album Soulstice. Rock N Roll Machine also swing by in support of their debut long player with a show at Ward Lane, Sat 23rd September with local Support from The Lucky Loos and Sunny Tokyo.

Jewel Goodbye Alice in Wonderland Jewel’s latest release finds her back in the territory of her debut album Pieces of You. The last the world heard of Jewel was her foray into fluoro dance pop with the album 0304. Some of that album’s pop sheen seeps into Jewel’s new release but on the whole this is a more restrained affair. 0304 was never expected to have much success but was warmly embraced by critics and initially sold well. Goodbye Alice in Wonderland is Jewel’s autobiography via songs with the song cycle of the album covering her experience and career in music. Jewel’s feelings in her 0304 phase of her career are covered here and apparently she wasn’t entirely happy with the results. There is a degree of self-absorbedness and perhaps narcissism in the proceedings here but regardless the album is still possessed of some decent tunes. Fans of Jewel’s first two releases should appreciate her latest offering.

By Kazuma Namioka

Match Point

Channel (V) Billabong Detour

The big question asked here: if you had a cute, wonderful girlfriend from a rich background who would set you up for life with marriage, big houses and cushy jobs, but a struggling actress played by Scarlett Johansson was available, who would you sleep with? The answer as selected by Jonathan Rhys Meyers: sleep with both (Rhys Meyers is an actor who at least deserves a good career ahead of him). I’ve never seen Three’s Company, but I think I know enough to get the general gist of it, and to conclude this probably isn’t anything like it. This isn’t a comedy, though it’s made by Woody Allen. He was the voice of Z in Antz. I know I should be able to give a better example than that for who Woody Allen is. He’s the guy that married his adopted Korean daughter.

Did you know Tracs is closing down? It’s true; they’ve got a sale going on and everything. I’m still getting free DVDs to review, but the music DVD selection is thinning by the day. I’m not sure why I took this one. They were kind of busy and Linda had work to do, and there was a free CD that came with it. This DVD was made to present the skating and music tour that went around Australia, it has “amps and ramps”. I got it for the music portion then realised I don’t even like most of the bands. Stink. Well, The Living End is on there, and Pacifier who are a -1 Shihad, then bearably bland stuff like Magic Dirt, then a sodomy of awful bands like Good Charlotte. Sweet Zombie Jesus.

Watching a man who’s completely likable on the surface yet a seething cluster of cockroaches beneath his suit is intriguing. It makes me think that out there, among the savages in this town, invisible like the background, are seemingly normal people who may not, but could, do terrible things without breaking their poker face. Swim a river of blood and come out unblemished. It’ll be the person you sort of know taking the same paper, or the neighbour you walk past every day, checking his mail when your morning lecture’s starting. Stealing things from your bag to butchering your pets, they’ll rationalise all the guilt away if they had to. I’m just saying that you should be open to the possibility, and see this movie, because I for one wouldn’t do you wrong.

So actually, the extreme sports side of it became, if anything, the highlight of the DVD. The street skaters didn’t wear helmets and pads so they were pretty shit, but the vert ramp guys had all the appropriate gear and rocked the house. Up and down, and up the other side again. I don’t go to things like X Air and Edgefest, but this is kinda how I imagine them. There’s some other footage of people screwing around, but it’s pretty tame. Jackass set the bar so high; pies in the face and kissing dead fish just doesn’t cut it any more. People were getting married at this event though, so some of you must be really into it. Do the names Jocke Olsson or Bart Carnes mean anything to you? If so, try and win it off Nexus. To win Channel [V] Billabong Detour and a selection of other fine DVDs, email with your favourite Tracs memory or acquisition.


Books The Godmother Carrie Adams

that she is actually desperate to have some little ankle-biters of her own before time runs out.


Reviewed by Michelle Coursey You know that saying “always a bridesmaid, never a bride”? Apparently, Carrie Adams was inspired by the parallel phenomenon of single women who don’t have children of their own, but are asked to be godmother to all their friend’s babies – always a godmother, never the mum. Tessa King, the impossibly beautiful, smart, funny and successful heroine of the novel is one such woman; godmother to four children, but realising

Calling itself the “antidote to chick-lit” is probably not entirely truthful on this book’s part, but it follows the Marian Keyes formula of mixing the darker side of life with humour and fluff. And it works well. I was actually looking forward to finding out what happens to the circle of friends that surround Tessa King, and which man she might snag, and whether she would pop out a kid or two by the end.

READ IT IF… You have more than two apricot or So, a nice light read (as long as you ignore the plethora of spelling and grammatical mistakes – eek!) with plenty of insight into the quirks of being the successful single woman who wants to

Stickmen 2 Peter Vegas RANDOM HOUSE NZ

Reviewed by Pheobe Meryll If you get a bit overwhelmed by wordy academic tomes and are one of those people who complain Nexus has ‘too many words’, Stickmen 2 could be for you. It’s basically a cute collection of stick people with witty captions or speech bubbles – ‘does this make me look fat?’, etc. Which kinda palls after a while, but is entertaining enough in the short term to make it an excellent toilet or coffee table book.


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have it all but can’t quite pull it together. Did I identify with the position that I fear I might find myself in in 15 years? Sure. But it was still a good book, regardless of my own personal Bridget Jones phobias.

turquoise puff-sleeve bridesmaid dresses hanging in the closet from times gone by, but no veil of your own.

Author Peter Vegas was a panellist on TV3’s Sugar Shack, and sells people stuff for a living. He claims the Stickmen series is to raise money for his mum’s hip operation, as despite her being very active at present, ‘one day she may need my assistance’. You could say there’s a certain Zen simplicity to the format, if you’re feeling kind, and stick people certain have legions of fans online. Being amusing but inoffensive, Stickmen 2 would make a nice easy present for anyone over 12 or so. READ IT IF… you like your cartoons limited to 5 lines or so and your humour easily digestible.

Lady Chatterley’s Lover (1928) by D.H. Lawrence Reviewed By Michelle Coursey Want to read something dirty while looking intellectual? This is the book for you. Raunchy, animalistic sex on the floors of wooden cottages. You’d be forgiven for wondering whether this is the kind of book that is usually sold in a brown paper bag. Instead, it is a revered text which sits firmly in the category of ‘literature’. This is one of those books that all us English geeks have on our list of “must reads”, and that is constantly referred to in popular culture as the book that took writing about sex to a whole new level in the stuffy early 1900s. A contemporary and friend of Katherine Mansfield, Lawrence wrote Lady Chatterley’s Lover only two years before his death in 1930.

Lady Chatterley is a forceful and passionate woman, who finds herself suffocating in a passionless marriage. She has short affairs with men, seeking closeness and vitality in sex with them, before falling in love with a man who shows her what true passion is – both inside and outside of the bedroom. The novel was not publicly published for some time due to objections over the explicit nature of the sex scenes (very Mills & Boon, but considering the time of writing, very brave). Put this book on your “must read” list – English geek or not. It’s a beautifully written novel which shows the sensuality and passion underneath people trapped in life-sucking social situations. And the sex is great.


Films An Inconvenient Truth See this film. See this film. See this film. Don’t watch it for its documentary technique – it’s clunky and any one of a number of people could do it better given the time and resources. See it for what it’s about – global warming. Now before you turn the page or consign me to the raving greenie bin, this is without a doubt the

is not an emotional airy-fairy theory; this film presents the hard science behind the truth. The findings are backed up by 928 peer-reviewed scientific articles for the magazine Science, in which no one disagreed. One by one the myths surrounding global warming are dismissed. In the same way that tobacco companies minimised or created doubt in people’s minds about smoking, the PR companies of today’s petrochemical corporations and car manufacturers have created the mythology

one film you have to go and watch this year. The former presidential candidate Al Gore presents

that there is some scientific debate about this phenomena. Not on a large scale there

documentary in the US.

it and it’s packed full of facts that dispel any notion that global warming is something that might not happen. In 650 thousand years the carbon dioxide emissions from Arctic and Antarctic ice cores are the highest they’ve ever been and there’s documented evidence to show the correlation between carbon dioxide emissions and temperature change. This is the biggest event in our planet’s history. This

isn’t, overwhelming consensus supports the inconvenient truth.

Technically this film is not fantastic, it’s an overblown PowerPoint presentation with cutaways and dodgy sound in places, but if you miss it because of this, you’re missing the point. This is not high-grade escapism nor does it have a compelling storyline but it is meticulously researched and it presents information that has failed to hit the headlines. This is not a film you should see, this is a film you have to see.


Reviewed by Joe Citizen


By Leigh McGeady

What I liked about this film is that it’s not all doom and gloom. Individual consumer action really can make a difference. Power consumption is in our hands through a collective variety of solutions. American audiences appear to have taken the issue seriously – the movie

received a three time standing ovation from the Sundance Film Festival this year and has already become the third highest grossing


Surely by now you would have heard of An Inconvenient Truth? It starts its season with us at Rialto on the 14th September. An Inconvenient Truth offers a passionate and inspirational look at Al Gore’s fervent crusade to halt global warming’s deadly progress

in its tracks by exposing the myths and misconceptions surrounding it. This is not a story of despair but rather a rallying cry to protect the one earth we all share. A film that not only sold out of every session is showed in the film fest, but one that really moves the soul. Don’t miss it! Another film fest delight which begins its season on the 21st September is Water. A profoundly moving and compelling story set in 1938 and tells of India’s ‘widow houses’, where women of all ages are taken to live, even today, apart from society following the deaths of their husbands. When a women’s husband dies, the widow has three choices – to marry her husband’s younger brother if family permits, to burn to death with her husband on his funeral pyre or to live a life of celibacy, discipline and solitude amongst her ‘own kind’. The film follows three widows who dared to stand up for themselves in the liberating time of Mahatma Ghandi; one

of whhom is Chuyia, not yet in her teens, and married to a much older and sickly male who shortly after the marriage passes away. Chuyia is then left in the care of a wide assortment of widows who live at these ‘widow houses’, shunned by the rest of the community and who all the while still thinks her mother will come to take her home. This is an immensely moving film which took nearly seven years to make due to the fierce political controversy when the film’s India-based production triggered violent protests by Hindu fundamentalists and was forced to shut down. The production was started again years later under a shroud of secrecy in the neighbouring country of Sri Lanka. This movie will entertain and educate – again, one not to miss.

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Hi y’all! Welcome to another edition of Rialto Check. We have so many great films coming to Rialto that it would be a sin not to see at least 10! Look out for the Italian Film Festival which begins in November. Don’t forget that students get discounts all during the week, just not weekends – which is a good thing really cos the weekends are the busiest times and rather than fighting for a good seat, you can sometimes get the place to yourselves during a week day! The International Film Festival is behind us, but luckily a few of the most popular films that showed are on their way back for their own season with us! Such as the films I am going to talk to you about today..


Kate Sheppard and the Suffragettes By Brie Jessen

After many years of struggling to have their voices heard, on September 19th 1893, New Zealand became the first country to give women the vote. 113 years on Kate Sheppard is still remembered today as one of the leaders of the women’s suffrage movement. Her face is on the $10 note, and most New Zealanders recognise her name, but few realise the amazing person and the strength of character behind the name.

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Born Catherine Wilson Malcolm, but called Kate, she was born in Liverpool (UK) to Scottish parents in 1847. After Kate’s father died in 1862, her mother brought the family to New Zealand in 1868. They settled in Christchurch and in 1871, Kate was married to Walter Allen Sheppard, a Christchurch merchant. The new family made their home in Christchurch, and in 1880 Kate’s first and only child, Douglas, was born.

movement was established in New Zealand, and despite early failed attempts to introduce a bill in parliament, the movement continued to flourish.

subsequent elections.

An intelligent woman and an early feminist, Kate Sheppard was drawn to the movement, and quickly became an active supporter of the movement. Kate was a talented writer and an adept public speaker, as Tessa Malcolm (one of Kate Sheppard’s biographers) writes, “Hers was a quietly determined, persuasive, and disarmingly feminine voice.” It was a voice that was to turn many opinions, and convince a good many people that women should indeed have the right to vote.

so long and hard for, Kate Sheppard went on to publish and lecture widely, influencing a new generation of New Zealand women. In 1896 the National Council of Women was created, and Sheppard was elected president. It was a position she thoroughly deserved and one which gave her a good deal of influence, though perhaps not as much as she would have liked. In 1903 she resigned from presidency due to ill health.

After campaigning across the country, the women’s suffrage movement finally presented 3 petitions to parliament, one in 1891, one in 1892, finally achieving success in 1893 with over 31,000 women’s signatures on it (estimated at the time

After having achieved the goal she had worked

In 1910 Kate’s only child Douglas died shortly after his marriage and several years later in 1915, her husband died. At the age of 78 Kate Sheppard remarried to William Sidney Lovell-Smith, who in turn died four years later in 1929. In 1930 Kate’s only grandchild died Margaret died, leaving Kate

‘A quietly determined, persuasive, and disarmingly feminine voice’ Tessa Malcolm

Even at a young age, Sheppard’s intelligence was

to around 33% of the total population of adult

without any close living relatives. In 1919 women

recognised, for a woman at the time, she had received a good education. A good education for a woman in the 19th century by no means included University, but she was taught to read, write and do basic sums. Sheppard also stood out early on for the strength of her religious and moral convictions. Shortly after getting married Kate began to get involved in the church and its temperance movement, which aims to reduce the amount of alcohol people consume, often in an attempt to reduce the violence which arose from alcohol. In 1885 when the New Zealand Women’s Christian Temperance Union was founded Kate Sheppard was elected the national superintendent of the franchise.

females in NZ). At the time it was the largest petition ever presented to parliament. There was initially a great deal of resistance to the idea of women being allowed to vote, but finally in June 1893 the bill was introduced into parliament. The final vote was close, 20 votes in favour of women, 18 votes against, but although it was a slim majority, it was a majority nonetheless, and on September 19th the bill was passed.

were granted the right to stand for parliament, and shortly before her death in 1934 Kate Sheppard had the satisfaction of seeing the first woman MP be elected into parliament. Kate Sheppard died on the 13th July 1934, and was buried next to her mother, brother, and sister. Kate Sheppard, along with many other women fought tirelessly in an uphill battle to win the right to vote and succeeded, in the process inspiring generations of New Zealanders to come. She has been described and her opinions have been explained in many ways, but perhaps it is best to leave you with her own words; “We are tired of having a ‘sphere’ doled out to us…We want to be natural just for a change … we must be ourselves at all risks.”

By the end of the 1870s a lively women’s suffrage


After finally achieving success in gaining voting rights for women, Kate Sheppard did not stop there. Her next mission was to encourage women to enrol to vote for the upcoming election which was to be held in eight weeks time. It is thought that an estimated 65% of all eligible women voted in that election, with numbers increasing in

issue 21  

ALSO: 2007 WSU Candidates · Bisexuality · Girls Kissing Issue 21 · 18 September 2006 ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006 Two peanuts walk into a ba...

issue 21  

ALSO: 2007 WSU Candidates · Bisexuality · Girls Kissing Issue 21 · 18 September 2006 ISSUE 21 / 18 SEPTEMBER 2006 Two peanuts walk into a ba...