28 July 2008
Partijen, poetsen en het bruine material. Parties, pranks, and the brown stuff. Moving along from yester-week’s kolumn and further dissecting the true meaning of karnage, the topic in today’s article is PRANKS. We all love achieving a cheeky prank on fellow siblings or pulling the practical joke on a schoolmate, however it seems that flat pranks, both in-flat and inter-flat take tricks and tomfoolery to extreme and sometimes excessive levels. Flat pranks, like cases of Chlamydia, are rife in the student-vile area immediately surrounding
is the cake on effect which, although it can provide a breakfast option, is incredibly hard to clean off a surface. Staying with vehicles, letting down the tyres of the flatmates’ personal transportation is a killer (especially right down to the rims), don’t stop at 1 or 2 tyres, do the whole shebang. Trust me; it is a massive down buzz and takes an age to go to and from the service station pumping them up individually. Inside the flat, there are a few common pranks that you can execute. It starts with the fridge…put all the contents of the fridge into
items along with eggs that is involved in the carrying out of a flat prank. Laying a cable on the deck, porch or simply on the lawn is one thing but dispense a dump inside a flat in an unknown place is complete terror. The phantom poo prank is deadly on the nostrils and drives the flatmates insane when they cannot locate the log. Flat pranks can often evolve into flat wars and there will always be that one guy, Timmy-toofar, who just doesn’t know when to stop and will take it past prank status. So be aware, there are some pearlers of prank ideas out
the grounds of the Wakatoomba University. Though I have noticed that over recent winter weeks that the population of pranks has soared to a concerning (or stimulating depending on how you look at it) height. Some of the comedy classics involve eggs, flour, toilet paper and fish oil and distributing these ingredients at a flat, car or its occupants. The aftermath of this prank can be chronic depending on the season, in summer there
the freezer, its really quite simple. Peel off all the labels to the cans inside the pantry so they have no idea whatsoever to what is inside the can, this way you get them putting baked beans on their Skippy’s. Rearrange the entire lounge or bedroom so all the furniture and appliances are upside down, back to front or simply outside on the road. Faecal matter. It’s a touchy subject and it spells disaster but it is one of the most common
there, but be wary of the step too far and keep it in the family aye guys, there’s nothing like a court hearing for pulling a student prank. Next week, I’ll float back to a party review or two, but also touch on some par-tay themes and dress-up suggestions that will relieve you of your same ol’ gathering with the only excitement being a lonely funnel and the token drunk guy who can’t handle his 4-pack of smirnoffs. Adios amigos!
Send questions for Magic 8 Ball to nexus@ waikato.ac.nz Will the (de)construction of the new Student shop-things uncover an ancient Indian burial ground? – From Art Signs point to yes – and the (de)construction machines will become possessed and go on a rampage. Nexus will take photos of the bulldozers eating people from the safety of our office.
yes. You can fly at up to 250 kilometres an hour in a vertical fashion, and your joy will only be truncated by the ground. Stop thinking and start doing – pick a high point to leap from for maximum enjoyment. To touch the sky, simply walk outside during a fog. Since this is Hamilton, you should be able to achieve this pretty much any time of day or night.
Will the first-years in my English class ever stop talking? – From Chris H You may rely on it – bringing several automatic
Is the fluro fad finally dying? – from FIGHTMAN X You may rely on it – and, much like anything
weapons to class is a great way silence noisy students. It works in the USA, so why not here? Wear black for extra points.
else that dies, you may expect the bright colours of life to be replaced by somber greens, browns and reds. Grunge will return, only it’ll be nu-grunge and Nickelback will lead the revolution. Which might be a good time for that shooting spree we mentioned.
PC femme-nazi world we live in. When you hear a small child swear, simply administer a sound smack to their bottom. Repeat as often as necessary. We recommend use on children who swear in the presence of their parents, in public places like supermarkets. Should the parents present a problem, simply remind them that their child is breaking obscenity laws. Then perform a citizen’s arrest on them. Parades will be held in your honour. Just like in the old days, before smacking was illegal.
Do you believe I can fly? Do you believe I can touch the sky? I think about it every night and day. – from Kirsty L Outlook not so good – it’s a terrible email programme that I am forced to use every bloody day. With regard to the flying thing,
Presented by the feline caption kings, LOLcats!
Do small children know too many swearwords? – from Andrew J Reply hazy, try again – but what isn’t hazy is that this is becoming far too common in this
Would it not be better to fashion yourself a body in the shape of a lion to better terrify the new entrants this semesta? – From Glen McG As I see it yes – it would be better to have the body of a lion – wait, what? What the hell are you talking about? You were stoned when you wrote this, weren’t you? Don’t try to hide it. Magic 8 Ball Knows All. Yeah, that’s right, be paranoid, you weed-eating lowlife. Terrify the new entrants? Try being terrified yourself. They. Are. Coming.
Invisible bike! heer r onerabl menshuns
Myles Brown-Cole winner is you!
“Hey babe, u look so good im going to call u now instead of next week.” -Matty
Ceiling Cat congratulates you! Cme get Burger Fuul vow cha frm Nexus! (or wsu recepshun if Nexus is owt.)
“The MDRI Christmas party is always a real hit with members” -0211816612 (i guess is ur name)
i can has last weeks caption winn
Heer is dis weeks pic cha Here’s this week’s picture. Send entries to nexus@waikato. ac.nz or txt to 021 235 8436! Include the word “caption” in the subject line. Keep entering, keep Ceiling Cat happy. Winners receive a Burger Fuel voucher good for any burger, fries and a drink.
What do you get when you put students and property together? The Halls of Residence and the world capital of Chlamydia – I was wasted when I made that up, don’t hate me, please. Over the last couple weeks, the halls experienced their own break. (It’s funny because Studville got raped by robbers) Oh, what a pun - I should be a stripper. Speaking of break, next time you have to break the news to mum and dad that you failed your finals, tell them you’re pregnant (regardless of whether you’re male or female) then tell them. It’s kind of like cutting your finger off before you saw through your leg.
The Resident Assistants had their midsemester trip & training, internationals had their orientation and we Kiwis just sat around being tough, and cool. And awesome. One Kid, who yesterday attended the International student’s orientation, commented on its humoristic approach to welcoming students into the environment. He informed me that the orientation involved eating contests and a policeman- Sounds like my kind of party.
The Halls of Residencia are lovely places to squat while you’re waiting to be able to afford a flat. I live at one, it’s nice. We get fed, are provided with heaters and even have lovely ladies that vacuum our floors for us –providing they can see the floor and you’re not lying in bed with a stag (personal experience). Anyway, most of ‘them with cars’ returned to their respective lands while a loyal few ‘of us with hearts’ roughed it out here, as well as the new batch of internationals arriving.
The International students sampled the Hamiltonian bars on Thursday. I can’t remember where I was, but somebody told me, that I told them, that I was writing a column for Nexus, and that I was in town with the Americans, to write about them or something, you know? So, basically I have nothing to report because I left all of my memory in the toilet at Bar101. The international students have been enjoying the halls thus far though; one commented to me today that they’d actually consider living here, no shit!
Over in Bryant, I don’t have many friends. Coincidentally, I also don’t have anything to write for you lot. See how that works. So, just come into the Nexus office if you’re keen to let everybody know what’s going on over in Bryant. That goes for Orchard Park too. Studville, I got you covered like a blanket! Real places don’t count as halls anyway… c’mon guys; you’re a village and a park. New residents are healthy for the halls. Sometime’s you just need a new coat of paint. The new ‘rezies’ have been settling in well, with the majority being excited foreigners, we’re sure to see some interracial families in 9 months. Before I make one too many jokes and hurt myself, I’m going to leave you to ponder my slur of syllables. Next on Sociology in Practice: Reorientation week- the week that wasn’t.
Love Booze? Interested in selling it? Rock down to Liquor King Hillcrest with ya CV and let’s have a chat.
The doorway to Lion Nathan & a massive career in Sales & Marketing We’re looking for a “keen as beans” chick to join our friendly crew in a part time customer service role roughly 20 hours a week. If you’re interested, give me a call or drop in and let’s have a chat Josh Kirby, Manager Liquor King Hillcrest
1.What bar do you go to the most? 2.Who would win in a fight John Key, Helen Clarke, Winston Peters or Rodney Hide 3.What’s your ride? 4.Will you be seeing the Dark Knight? 5.What is your fave Big Word?
1.Im 17 2.Helen Clarke, she has more balls 3.Bus 4.Tomorrow 5.Philanthropist
1.I don’t really go… The Boston 2.I don’t know who they are 3.Mitsubishi Proton (Peggy the Proton) 4.Maybe… Probably… 5.Metamorphosis
1.The Boston 2.John Key 3.Hyundai 4.No… No way 5.Uhhhhhhhhh…..(for about ten minutes)
1.101 or Coyote 2.Winston! 3.Fiat Uno 4.Faux Show 5.Boss-Playa
1.The Outback Inn 2.Helen Clarke 3.Mazda Familia with foldable wing mirrors 4.Yup definitely 5.Discustipated
FEATURES 19 Walkthrough: The Political game waiKato maestro Vitamin C walks you through the clans questing for Parliament in this year’s elections Editor: Joshua Drummond (email@example.com) Design: Talia Kingi (firstname.lastname@example.org) Advertising: Tony Arkell (email@example.com/021 176 6180)
Books Ed: Kelly Badman
8 – 13 Wilson to Speak at Waikato, Te Reo, LLAS, No One Reads The Contents, If you see this come get your prize, No, Really, SPARK week, Apocalypse Now, Freedom Week, iTunes U, Vault, the Police Report, and
Film Ed: Art Focker
teh Nexus Haiku Newz0r
REGULARS AND RANDOMS
Assistant to the Editor: Andrew Neal (firstname.lastname@example.org) Music Ed: Carl Watkins (email@example.com)
8 Ball, AJ, Annabel, Emma, Vitamin C, WSU, Kirril, Carl Watkins, Chris Parnell, Burton C. Bogan, Nick Sicklemore, Olivia Miles Louise Blackstock, Kelly Badman, Jed Laundry, Dr Richard Swainson, Josh, Andrew, Talia, Matt, Grant Burns, Mammoth, HCAC, Flash Medallion, Cyro, Art Focker, Andy Fyers, vitaminC, a bunch of other people also.
Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA) Because it’s just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS PUBLICATIONS 2003 LTD, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR, OR ANYONE. IF YOU READ THIS YOU WILL BE EATEN BY A GRUE
WANT TO ADVERSTISE WITH NEXUS? EMAIL firstname.lastname@example.org OR email@example.com OR call 07 838 4653 OR 021 176 6180
NEXUS IS LOCATED AT Ground Floor, Student Union Building, Gate One, University of Waikato, Knighton Road, Hamilton
PHONE: 07 838 4653 FAX: 07 838 4588 EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org POSTAL: Private Bag 3059, Hamilton
Nexus: Because politics makes so much more sense as a videogame
02 Caption Competition 03 Magic 8 Ball 03 Karn 04 Hall Ways 05 Low Five 06 < 07 Editorial 15-17 Lettuce 18 Mrs Robinson’s Guide to Love 24-27 WSU 26 Sports Results with AJ 28 Not Flash Medallion’s Puzzle Page Boredom 29 Notices 30 Agony Art 30 Sarcophagus Rex 31 Procrastinatio di Procrastination 31 Sports Thoughts 32 Boganology 101 32 The Nerdary 33 The Phat Controller 33 A River Runs Through It 34 Book Review 34 Moving Pictures 35 Movie Review 36 Citric 37 DVDs 38 Gigs 39 BUSTED
You are the Nexus Editor. You sit in a small office. Old Nexus covers line the walls. Junk clutters the desk. Music plays from the computer. A high window looks over the Fortress of Knowledge. You must write the EDITORIAL within the next hour. What will you do now?
One is much like an eel after it has been knocked on the head by a fisherman; vague but still very slippery. John Key is even more so.
New Zealand gun licensing laws prevent you from getting this. >EDITOR SMASH
>INTERVIEW HELEN CLARK
You lay about you, breaking things. You cut your hand on a sharp piece of paper, and faint from the pain. You wake up several minutes later, and you still need to write the EDITORIAL
You begin typing, only to realise you have not come up with a topic.
You interview Helen Clark. When you ask a question she was not expecting, she lunges forward and eats you. You die a forlorn little creep, torn apart by mighty molars and rhetoric. Game Over.
>COME UP WITH TOPIC
You are the Nexus Editor…
You can’t use this. You smashed it.
You search “topic” in Google and hit “I’m
>READ PRESS RELEASES
>I’LL SMASH YOU GOOD
You read press releases sent by various political parties and interests. The inanity begins to drive you mad. You see a Magic 8 Ball on your desk.
I’m sorry, I don’t understand
> WRITE EDITORIAL
feeling lucky.” The result takes you to “Topic Magazine’s” website. You bang your head against the desk, and try again. > WATCH YOUTUBE
I will what? You watch hilarious videos for far too long. Panic sets in.
>USE MAGIC 8 BALL >RESTART
You shake the Magic 8 Ball while asking the question:
You are the Nexus Editor…
You can’t take this
>WHAT SHOULD I DO FOR THE
>WRITE EDITORIAL ON
That’s not a yes/no question.
You can’t write on this; it’s not a stable surface
>SCREW YOU STUPID GAME
>WRITE EDITORIAL ABOUT
($0 available) You can’t get this RESTART
That’s not a yes/no question You are the Nexus Editor. You sit in a small office…
You’ve already done this >LEAVE OFFICE >WRITE EDITORIAL ABOUT
You leave the Nexus office. It is dark outside. You have been working too late.
You call John Key’s office in Wellington.
You’ve already done this >EXPLORE
>INTERVIEW JOHN KEY
You can’t interview this
>DO IT AGAIN. I’M NOT SURE
You take a few steps, but hear a noise in the bushes. You try to run, but you are eaten by a
ANYONE READS THIS BIT ANYWAY
grue. Game Over. >WHY NOT?
You are the Nexus Editor… John Key’s Press Secretary wishes you to conduct an email interview, which will actually be written by John Key’s Press Secretary
You don’t have a gun. >WHAT�S THE DIFFERENCE? >GET GUN
You write your editorial, confident in the knowledge it doesn’t matter what you say, and can thus say anything at all. Time passes quickly, and before you know it, you find yourself sitting in a small office. Old Nexus covers line the walls. Junk clutters the desk. Music plays from the computer. A high window looks over the Fortress of Knowledge. You must write the EDITORIAL within the next hour. What will you do now? 7
NEWS ISSUE 12
May 19 2008
Wilson Weturns? Dat wascally wabbit! By Andrew Neal
Parliamentary Speaker Margaret Wilson may be returning to lecture at Waikato University – and rumour has it she will apply for the position of Dean of Law. Nexus has learned that Wilson admitted she was planning on returning to Waikato after her term was up in Parliament, fuelling rumours she may be applying for the Dean’s position, which she held in the past, between 1990 and 1999. When Nexus contacted Wilson, she said she had “no comment,” on her return to teaching. She advised speaking to the University’s communications department. Accordingly, Nexus spoke to University Media Manager Peta Goldworthy;
“I have heard a rumour, and it’s a fairly good one, [but] nothing has been announced so far,” she said. A hiring committee, involving top academic staff, and a ‘Search’ firm named Sheffield Limited is currently taking applications for the Dean of Law position and has reportedly been looking overseas, as well as in New Zealand, for applicants. “[Sheffield Ltd.] handle advertising on a world-wide basis, which gives us access to a wide pool of applicants,” says Vice Chancellor Roy Crawford. Crawford said he could not comment on whether Wilson would be returning to Waikato University or was being considered for the dean’s position. “They’re talking about an acting dean,” said Goldsworthy. This would allow the position to stay open until Wilson leaves Parliament after this year’s general election. Current Dean of Law John Farrar will be stepping down on August 1st this year and said that he had not heard if Wilson is applying for the Dean’s position. “She may be coming back to the University, though,” he said. The hiring committee is “at the short listing stage, we’ve had the first meeting [in the Dean selection process,] according to Professor Crawford. Nexus was told that Wilson had stated at a social event “I only plan to teach, [at the University].” Sheffield Limited was not able to give comment due to “issues of confidentiality.” Farrar is stepping down as Dean to follow further commitments in Australia and Auckland.
Kia Ora! Maori Language Week! That’s a Maori greeting By Andrew Neal
Festivities organised by the University and the Waikato Student’s Union celebrated Te Wiki O Te Reo Maori in style, despite weather worries.
The week also coincides with the launch of a new Maori page on the Waikato website and weekly newsletter from the PVC Maori’s office.
The theme of this year’s events around the country was keeping Maori language alive in the home. The WSU encouraged this by giving out booklets full of easy Te Reo phrases and a lecture on the subject organised by the Pro Vice Chancellor (PVC) Maori’s office.
“The website is a one stop shop for anything Maori and the newsletter mirrors the website,” says Maria Huata Project coordinator for the PVC Maori office.
There were plenty of fun activities to get all students involved during the week including the WSU’s ping pong ball drop, a free hangi, organised by the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences (FASS) and a concert on Friday night.
The Ping Pong drop or “Taka Paoro,” saw over 200 balls dropped from a cherry picker with each ball being numbered. The number on the ball corresponded to a specific Te Reo word and each word responded to a prize. Each prize could not be claimed until the Te Reo word was pronounced properly.
Live Like Student Challenge finishes up Now they can live like politicians again! By Andrew Neal
The “Live Like a Student” challenge rounded up on Wednesday last week and saw entrants move in with their children, riding scooters, getting burgled and hopefully gaining a greater understanding of student issues.
The challenge was taken up by Labour’s Sue Moroney and Nanaia Mahuta, National’s David Bennett and the Maori Party’s Angeline Greensill which all had to live off a student budget for a week.
“I really hope that our challengers have enjoyed their experience and are now able to draw on a more personal experience when the discussions of a Universal Allowance is raised in their caucuses,” said WSU President Moira Neho.
“Speed bumps” were given to the challengers, which were additional expenses to be taken out of each of their budgets. Bennett had dental issues, Greensill had to purchase a text book in a hurry, Mahuta was robbed of a laptop with a current assignment
still on it and Moroney missed a Studylink payment. All challengers came up with different ways of coping with these unexpected costs including Studylink and WSU assistance. All speed bump ideas were submitted by students at the University. Each contestant kept a blog on the WSU website documenting their progress although certain politicians did not let the opportunity to give their party a plug go by them. 9
One of the presenters at Wintec’s upcoming Spark festival is currently at the centre of media controversy in Australia. Photographer Polixeni Papapetrou is one of several international speakers at Wintec’s annual Spark arts festival next month, and has been the subject of debate after a photograph featuring her six year old daughter naked appeared on the cover of an Australian arts magazine. Prime Minister Kevin Rudd criticized the cover image strongly, saying “Frankly, I can’t stand this stuff”, and reigniting a row over the potentially exploitative use of children in art. He was supported by opposition Liberal Party leader Brendan Nelson, who described the
Rudd’s comments, saying she is proud of the image taken by her mother and considers it one of her favourite photographs. The editor of the Art Monthly magazine said he knew the photograph would be controversial, but that he hoped to “restore some dignity to the debate, and validate nudity and childhood as subjects for art”. In May, an exhibition of pictures of naked children by photographer Bill Henson was closed before it opened, in a case that provoked a nationwide debate over censorship. Papapetrou told the Australian News that Rudd’s remarks, and comments by child protection groups, inflame rather than deepen
and fantasy appear frequently within Papapetrou’s work, in photo essays such as ‘Wonderland’ (2004), which features Olympia as Lewis Carroll’s Alice, posed in front of painted backdrops. Wintec School of Media Arts head of school, Margi Moore, said one of the functions of Spark was to provide a forum for exactly this type of debate. “We are delighted to have Papapetrou present at Spark and we anticipate some informed and intelligent debate about numerous issues and trends in the creative industries.”
image as a “two-fingered salute to the rest of society”. However, Papapetrou’s daughter Olympia, now 11, has expressed her personal offence over
the debate. She said that her children had been the main focus of her practice since she became a mother and she did not find that unusual. Explorations of childhood innocence
design festival in Hamilton from August 4-8 2008. See website at www.spark.net.nz Contact Susanna Wilford, ph. 07 858 7058, email@example.com
Spark 08 is the 10th Birthday of the arts/media/
Black is Back: Renowned Kiwi musician to perform at Spark 08. Spark 08 is pleased to announce that much-loved New Zealand musician Whirimako Black will perform as part of the international arts festival’s closing event in Hamilton on Friday 8th of August, at the Waikato Museum. Black’s distinctive sound, her lyrics in te reo m ori, her use of traditional m ori musical forms and collaboration with traditional taonga puoro instruments make her a unique and powerful voice for m ori music and culture. Whirimako, who is of Ngati Tuhoe, Ngati Tuwharetoa, Ngati Ranginui, Te Whakatohea, Te Whanau-a-Apanui, Te Arawa and Ngati Awa descent, is an accomplished composer and singer, who enjoys reviving and modernising traditional waiata. “I aspire to see the fruition of my waiata being accessed on the international market, bringing a heightened awareness to the status of m ori and the m ori language worldwide, to fulfil the dreams of my ancestors” says Ms Black. Whirimako Black has toured throughout Aotearoa, Australia and Europe and released 6 solo albums. These include ‘Hinepukohurangi: Shrouded in the Mist’ (2001), her debut album which won Best M ori Language Album at the 2001 NZ Music Awards and is now approaching gold sales status, ‘Hohou Te Rongo: Cultivate Peace’ (2003), ‘Tangihaku’ (2004),
‘Kura Huna’ (2006), ‘Soul Sessions’ (2006) and ‘Whirimako Black Sings’ (2007). In June, Black appeared at the biggest indigenous festival in the Southern Hemisphere, ‘The Dreaming Festival’ in June 2008. She has also toured with Salmonella Dub and the NZ Symphony Orchestra as the featured vocalist. Spark 08 is the 10th Birthday of the international arts/media/design festival in Hamilton from August 4-8. For up to date info, see www. spark.net.nz
Conflict arising from environmental degradation – as a result of global overpopulation – will be the most likely cause of the apocalypse, says law lecturer Alexander Gillespie.
Despite this, Gillespie did offer some hope saying that this can be changed through education and protection of the world’s resources; “We’ve got a lot of work to do, but I think we can do it,” he explained.
The findings were presented at the first of a five part lecture series on sustainability, held at the WEL Academy of Performing Arts last Tuesday.
The stripping of the ocean’s fish stocks and deforestation to compensate for increased agriculture causes a worsening of environmental problems, Gillespie said.
Gillespie spoke for just under an hour and presented a slide show to emphasise his points to a 200 strong crowd made up of academics, students and concerned members of the public including notables Nandor Tancozs and University Vice-Chancellor Roy Crawford. Gillespie claimed that the world’s population will out-strip food supply in the next forty years, as it will increase one third in size, over this time. This will result in armed conflict and a possible collapse in civilisation.
“If you want to stop climate change, stop deforestation,” Gillespie goaded. “It was an excellent lecture, I enjoyed it very much. Al Gillespie’s opinion is to be respected,” said Vice-Chancellor Crawford. The next lecture will take place at the WEL Academy of Performing Arts on Tuesday July 29. It is free entry.
“We are moving towards something dire,” he explained.
And Freedom for All By Andrew Neal, reporting by Bruce Clark Amnesty International Hamilton group kicked off Freedom Week, the movement’s National Annual Fundraising appeal, with a “Toast to Freedom” last Monday. During Freedom Week most of New Zealand’s 6000 members will be out on the street with leaflets and collection buckets. Hamilton members will be outside Hillcrest New World Supermarket on Saturday and Sunday 26 and 27 July, in the central business district during the following week and at Rototuna New World Supermarket during the weekend of 2nd and 3rd August.
To remain autonomous and unbiased in their work, Amnesty International relies on public donations. In 1961 raising a toast to freedom in a bar landed two Portuguese students in jail. A public call for the release of these political prisoners sparked the formation of Amnesty International. Today over 2.2 million volunteers in more than 150 countries contribute their time, money and expertise to the promotion of human rights and international campaigning against some of the most serious violations, including
imprisonment for beliefs or identity, torture and extra-judicial killings. The public can support Amnesty International with a donation or make instant donations of $20 by phoning 0900 AMNESTY
ITS Information Technology Services is making movements to turn University of Waikato lectures into podcasts, making them available for download from the iTunes store.
There is a particular resources base that must be achieved to move forward in the acceptance process including a minimum of 1000 podcast lectures ready to be posted online.
Waikato will join Otago University and a number of American Colleges in the iTunesU initiative that allows access to lectures in a digital format.
“We need to establish a good site, we want to differentiate the University from others [on the site] by the quality of its content,” says Kevin Adamson president of ITS Information Technology Services.
“So many young people use the iPod so much, we must be part of that technology and convenience for students,” says Vice Chancellor Roy Crawford.
It is unknown when the website and podcasts will be available due to the length of the acceptance process.
The University has applied to Apple to be a part of the iTunesU community and are working to meet the criteria required that is required for this.
Protestors held up signs saying: “Freedom of religion on campus”, “No comprise on campus”, and “Christianity isn’t the only religion!” The reason of the protest was because students felt they had their own right to choose a religion that best suits them. Students believed having a Chapel on campus infers that the majority of students are Christians and gives off the wrong image.
‘Students protest against newly opened Chapel’
A student attending the protest gave his comment on the new Chapel, “If they’re going to open a Chapel, then why don’t they open a Mosque or Buddhist temple at the same time”.
Nexus N.o.7 Wednesday 6th July, 1977
Many demonstrators argued that university should be a religion-free place if they cannot cater for all religions.
At 4pm on June 11th, over 100 protestors demonstrated from the Cowshed down to the newly opened campus Chapel. Students surrounded the Chapel as it was being opened by ‘leading Hamiltonians’ including the Mayor, councillors, and Archbishops.
This protest was the first on campus since the beginning of the academic year and organisers were extremely happy with the turnout.
Student demonstrators gave out leaflets and chanted as loud as possible to disrupt the opening ceremony. Some students knocked on windows while others used megaphones to get their opinions heard.
Archbishop Johnson, the head of the campus Chapel, refused to comment on the protest, but “showed disgust” towards demonstrators, according to witnesses.
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Come along to our free information session to find out more. Wednesday 30th July, S.G.03 from 1 - 2pm
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East Hamilton Police Burglary Report 14th - 21st July 2008 There were 12 burglaries that occurred in the Hamilton East, their locations are shown on the map. It’s great news that burglaries are down once again in our area. On the map it clearly shows that offenders are now breaking into houses that aren’t located so close to the University. Unfortunately several student flats have been targeted last week. Offenders are resorting into breaking glass windows or jemmying them open, using screws drivers or other such tools. The owner of one house told me, that even though he had a house alarm, the offenders broke in and stole his Laptop that was left on his dining table. I explained to him that he shouldn’t leave such items in full view from the outside of his house. This only encourages the offenders to break-in, it’s like having lollies in the front window of a Candy Shop. Another burglary occurred when all 7 occupants were watching a DVD together in their student flat. A short time after the DVD had finished
‘Forbes’ magazine releases list of best-paid Hollywood actors Of course the most rich Is none other than the one, And only: Fresh Prince. ‘Number 16 Bus Shelter’, ‘Violence’ among kids registered names Here’s an idea, here’s What you should do: Name your child Nexus Haiku News Author Alan Duff faces bankruptcy Poor Alan Duff got It tough – how did they bankrupt Jake Heke the Muss? ASB follows Bollard’s lead, cuts fixed rate - Cullen approves Fixed rate interest dives Now we won’t be seeing Any financiers thrive
they discovered that someone had opened their back door and walked in, taking a digital camera from one of the bedrooms. This is happening on a weekly basis, so please be mindful that it could happen to you at anytime during the day or night. Security Advice: If you’re at home, remember not to leave anything of value just lying around. Offenders will walk pass or even enter your flat, to take these items. Information on how to protect your home is available from the East Hamilton Community Policing Centre on Clyde St. If you have any information that might help Police with these burglaries please call the University Constable, Nick Sickelmore Nicholas. Sickelmore@police.govt.nz
Cellphones do fry your brain, warns cancer specialist Yes, he says, it’s true Your cellphone your brain does fry This will make you die Piracy-fearing music industry to tax downloaders Pirates to suffer Tax fate; Industry gets wise ‘Bout six years too late Reward offered for citizens arrest of Condoleeza Rice (This stupidity courtesy of David Do, President of the Auckland University Students Union) You’ll get five grand pay, And a one-way ticket to Guantanamo Bay
David Bennett MP M P f o r h aM i l t o n east
Phone: 07 834 3407 Email: firstname.lastname@example.org www.davidbennett.co.nz
Thinking about the end of the world as we know it; and what can be done.
It may never happen, and we surely hope that it does not! Yet for many of us, there is an unease that it is probably too late already to stop the impending collapse of human civilization as we know it. But if it is already too late, then there is little point worrying about it? Let us just enjoy and live for the ‘here and now’? For others, there is recourse to a kind of Darwinian argument about the inevitability of the rise and fall of species, and in the fall, the fittest will survive? Of course, the flipside is that most of us won’t. The free market philosophy has this kind of Darwinian logic too, in its naturalistic attachment to the winnerloser logic of competition, and the sense of inevitability that arises from its obsession with the invisible hand of flexible prices in the all-determining market. The above views tend towards fatalism as the future appears as a pre-given natural inevitability. But the future is still open, and the logic of history –past present and future- centrally involves interaction of the economic with the political. Politics is centrally focused on debate
IT ISN’T MY FAULT
Theresa has a difficult flatmate, Madge. The phone is in Theresa’s name and while Theresa was absent Madge took a call from a telephone company offering her a mobile package. Madge accepted
and struggle over ‘what is to be done’ and the outcomes of political struggles can alter the current direction. That is, in my opinion, while globally dominant market capitalism is surely pushing us towards the abyss of a deepening environmental crisis combined with a growing surplus population; it is not too late for political intervention to set us on a new course. Where there is a will, there might be a way! So even if unlikely, a political movement is our best shot, because giving up is just a self-fulfilling prophecy. Politics could make the difference! The first task is to convince people that the present direction of global market capitalism is leading to the abyss. The dynamic power of capitalism, rooted in its incessant drive to accumulate wealth, operates by reinvesting surplus labour, created by increasing productivity, into the development of new productive forces, and into new fields of production. But as production spreads, per capita consumption increases, to a point that eventually outstrips the capacity for environmental renewal. Many argue we have
in Theresa’s name and ran up huge bills which were charged to Theresa’s account. Despite numerous calls to the telephone company, it refused to recharge the bills to Madge. The University branch of Citizens Advice Bureau can give you information about this or other hassles you might have. They have heaps of pamphlets and a huge database to help answer anyone’s questions.
By David Neilsen
already reached this point of un-sustainability. At the same time, labour made redundant by increasingly global capitalist standards of productivity and profitability does not necessarily get redeployed. In the present, there is about a one billion people who are surplus to requirements that are scratching a living in the growing city slums of the developing capitalist world, and another 2 billion or so hanging on in the countryside. The second task is to construct a viable alternative that can address the colliding forces of environmental crisis and the surplus humanity. Such a project needs as central elements: A cosmopolitan democratic polity that puts the market in its place; promotes a concerted global sharing of knowledge and its transfer to the developing world, and is combined with the re-localization of production.
Visit them at the Cowshed from 1pm – 3pm daily during semesters or phone 8384466 extn 6622 or 0800FORCAB. By the way, Theresa’s is a complex problem and needs legal help. The CAB offers a free legal service at the Uni on Fridays at 1pm and other days at the Victoria St Bureau, but clients need to book their appointments beforehand!
Txts to the Editor! Nexus now has an all-new TXT-in service! Send Letters to the Editor - via text - to 021 235 8436. They can be about anything – but if it’s something in the magazine, so much the better. We’ll print the best ones, so get texting! There’s a prize for text of the week as well. We don’t know what it is yet, but it will be awesome. Don’t forget: You can send Busted pictures in by pxt! Send us your best snaps of you or your mates in Busted-type situations to 021 235 8436. Do it.
LETTERS POLICY: Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page, serious or not. Letters should be kept under 250 words and be received by Wednesday 5pm on the week prior to publication. We’ll print basically any letter, but the editor reserves the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. We won’t correct your spelling and grammar either, so it’s up to you how much of an idiot you look like. Pseudonyms are okay (all correspondence must include your real name and contact details – they won’t be printed if you don’t want them to be) but if it’s a serious letter we’d prefer you to use your real name. Send letters to email@example.com
Politicians don’t live like students Dear Nexus, I noticed in a news article from last week that some local politicians are participating in some live ‘Live Like a Student Challenge”. I also knew this because some politicians added me on Facebook, which made me feel important. While I can appreciate the sentiment, there is really no way to look at this except a kick in the balls to students who feel they have it tough. While I personally have no real problem with the current system, because I knew what I was
getting into from the start (and my loan was well over 60k last time I checked… last year), I know a lot of people who do, and announcing to the world that you are going to slum it for a week so that you know what its like to be a student doesn’t really cut it. Anyone can live on shit-all when they are well fed from the start. Good on Dave Bennett (Can I call you Dave? Thanks.) for working in Pak.n.Save, but anyone can do that when they know it’s going to be over in a week. Try doing some shithouse job every weekend for two years, alternately juggling food and warmth on a weekly basis, while trying to block out the
fact you’ve still got two more years of it. Then resign your greater public image to being a lowlife, a slacker, a boozer and a tax-thief every time you have to go hunting for the cheapest rice and those spirally light bulbs that make your lounge look like a boss level from Silent Hill. A lot of people can’t hack it and we all get to hear from them for a whole goddamn week every time student debt goes up by another million, but from the rest of us who are getting on with it in gleeful anticipation of a room with a view: You wanna live like common people? Chris Parnell (vitaminC)
Stoners: like free weed from old men
At least we didn’t draw a cartoon of it. Ooh, controversial!
To Young Man F:
You go get fucked! I mean really, this nice old man wants to give poor students free weed, and you shoot him down? What the fuck!? And then you go on saying that getting baked with old people isn’t fun!? Obviously you are an idiot. As far as the appropriateness on campus is concerned, yes, yes it is appropriate. I mean shit, every time that I get blazed on campus, it is the most magical experience ever. So Old Man J, if I ever see you on campus, you will have at least one other face in the smoke ring.
Assalamu Aleykum [Peace be upon you] I’m wondering what thinking process urged you [or your contributors/ writers] to inadvertently offend Muslims, Christians, Buddhists and Jews alike with, what seemed a nonsense question on Pg.5 of the 14th July issue of Nexus. ‘Who would win in a fight: Jesus, Satan, Mohammed, Buddha, Goku or Moses?’. From an Islamic point of view, neither Moses[pbuh] nor Jesus[pbuh] or Muhammad[pbuh] would fight each other at all. I can’t give an answer for Goku [a fictional character] because he isn’t ‘real’. I am not a Buddhist, and out of respect will not talk about Buddha. In ...............
-Every stoner on campus
THE NEXUS LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS A $20 BOOK VOUCHER FROM BENNETTS WAIKATO UNIVERSITY BOOKSHOP!
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regards to Satan [the cursed] he indeed is an â€˜open enemy to mankindâ€™ and is thus willing to fight anyone. That doesnâ€™t mean though that he would have any victory. There are names among those mentioned, who indeed would fight, but for just causes. I am not expressing anger, I simply seek clarification, for an action that does not seem to properly thought through. Just clarify if you can please Josh. Regards Taufiq Boldy President of Waikato Uni Muslim Club Clarification: It was a joke. Thatâ€™s all. I donâ€™t know how many people were actually offended, given you were the only one that wrote in. Whether you find this in questionable taste or offensive is up to you. I believe the only people who should really be offended by a joke of this kind are the gods/prophets/demonic entities/Goku in question, and if they have a problem with it, Iâ€™m sure they can tell me without the aid of mere human vassals. Religion should be the butt of jokes as much as anything else is: simply declaring or believing something to be sacred doesnâ€™t make it so. On a random note: The character of Goku is based very loosely on the Chinese legend of the Monkey King, which (possibly) makes him as real for some as the other religious figures mentioned. If certain sections of the Internet are to be believed, this is definitely the case.
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