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13 9 JULY 2007



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Nexus Issue 13 9 July 2007




High Stakes

The poker phenomenon hits the ‘Tron


Articles 22

Sowing the Seeds that Bloom

Interview with The Black Seeds



Keyed Up

Nexus gets freaky with the National Party leader


News 8-13

Student press challenges anti-satire rules, Team Ackerman win big, Short shorts, Giant Vagina Ball, Important News that happened in the holidays, Mr Safety Bigglesworth

Editorial Lettuce Magic 8 Ball Boulanger Meantime SU columns Notices WSU Comedy Night Puzzles


Regulars 07 14 16 16 17 20 23 24 27


29 29 30 30 31 31 32 32

$3 Chef Society Pages Boganology Sports Thoughts Agony Art static void Main() Smoke vs Water Nexus Survey Competition Results

33 34 35 36 36 37 38

DVDs Citric Books Film review Auteur House Events Guide Busted

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007


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Welcome to B Semester! If you’ve been here before, then you know that you’re pretty much in for more of the same. But if this semester is your first at the University of Waikato then you’ve probably got a few weeks of discovery ahead of you. You might decide that university is the most amazing place in the universe and pledge never to leave (student loan repayments are, after all, just another tax bracket). Or you might quickly establish that this study guff really isn’t for you and get the hell out of here. Either way, it will be an experience – one which you might even remember if you can stay sober long enough to work out where you are. Of course, no one expects you to stay sober this week. The Waikato Students Union have organised a bunch of Re-Orientation activities to get everyone back into the swing of, um, study. The highlight of these looks like it’s going to be The Black Seeds, who will land in the ‘Tron on Wednesday and are performing that night at the Bahama Hut (which is a bar in town, for those of you who don’t regularly dance topless in front of your friends). Tickets are only $20 for students, so maybe while you’re reading this you can wander on over to the WSU reception and pick one up. You could use some of your course-related costs money. Oh, hold on, that would imply that you weren’t having difficulty getting your entitlements out of Studylink. Which is, of course, one of the great joys of returning to study. If you’ve been in the same flat since the beginning of the year, it must just about be time for that to all fall to pieces, surely? How have you managed to keep it together for so long? This is only really possible if you have one of those amazing flatmates who pays the rent, power and phone without ever actually making an appearance in the flat. Absent, paying flatmates are totally bearable. But anything else is pretty much a recipe for disaster. If you haven’t already fallen out with your flatties because of bed-swapping, food-stealing or CD-scratching, you’ll probably hate each other by the end of winter anyway when those mega power bills have well and truly made their presence felt. And if you don’t end up with


an enormous power bill, that means that you literally froze to death in the cold. In this case, the flatmates still won’t be talking to each other, but this will be due to the fact that their lips and tongues have fallen off due to frostbite. It’s kind of a miserable time of year to have to show up to study, especially morning classes. At least in A semester there’s a couple of months of sun and everyone is relaxed from the summer months. July is another kettle of fish entirely – if you can actually stand to get out of bed in the middle of a frost, you’ll find that your canvas shoes (which used to be practical AND good-looking) are saturated by the time you’ve walked through all that icy grass. The heating in the lecture theatres probably won’t make you feel warm and comfortable, but it will most definitely put you to sleep. You’ll develop scarlet fever or some kind of Hong Kong Flu in the week that all of your assignments are due and, at some point in the next few months, you will most likely catch your significant other shagging your less sick, more sexy friend (the one with dry shoes). I don’t mean to be some kind of doomsayer, but the reality is that B semester is easily the most miserable of semesters (except for the summer semester, which mainly sucks because you’re spending every day at uni instead of the beach). So it’s important to go in to things prepared, like a scout. Of course, the team at Nexus are full of great ideas about how to survive the winter months at university and I’ve selected some of their more inspired ideas to share with you now:

full of preservatives, so you shouldn’t encounter any mould problems until around November, at which point it’s time to remove them anyway.

Lust Sharing a bed with someone else is a great winter-warmer, just like casserole. Don’t pay too much attention to that ‘lust’ bit though. In Nexus’ experience, you don’t even necessarily have to like the person. Just try to remember their name. Or write it on your headboard.

Exercise See above.

Peeing on own leg You know this helps when you’re swimming in a cold sea, right? Well just try it in the middle of a lecture. Not only will you have 15 seconds of warming pleasure, you’ll also be a hit with all your friends. These tried and true warming methods are guaranteed to improve your quality of life this winter. Even if they don’t necessarily make you warmer, per se, they will at least make you interesting – easily the next best thing.


Duvet-Stuffing If your lightweight, summer duvet isn’t really up to the job when it’s cold, you need to stuff it full of strange and delightful things in order to keep yourself snug and safe at night. The general consensus around Nexus is that scrunched-up pieces of newspaper will do the job nicely. They might be a little noisy and maybe a bit scratchy, but this is about survival so you’ll have to tolerate it. Our DVD reviewer, Art Focker, also recommends stuffing your duvet with sausages. He says this will eliminate the noise and scratchiness, unless the sausages are burnt. So just lightly cook the sausages before you put them inside your duvet. They’re

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007

Artist: Amanda


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Student press challenges anti-satire rules Members of the Aotearoa Student Press Association [ASPA] are joining with the Parliamentary Press Gallery in speaking out against anti-satire rules recently imposed by the New Zealand government.

Rory MacKinnon says the restrictions are “ridiculous in their premise, but terrifying in their implications”.

Under the new rules it is now illegal to make use of in-house footage which satirises or denigrates Members of Parliament, including both video and still images.

“Dr. Cullen has said MPs will interpret the rules liberally, which is to say that our leaders have pretty wide powers of discretion in deciding what is and isn’t satire. In the event that someone is convicted, the inevitable gag orders will ban the media from even reporting on the suppression of material.”

Nexus editor Roz Case said the legislation was unwarranted, and would likely be largely irrelevant.

MacKinnon also says that student media are unlikely to adopt Cullen’s recommendation to ‘wait and see’.

“Politicians don’t actually need any help from the media in making themselves look ridiculous; in that respect, this legislation might be seen as being totally irrelevant.”

“Student media has a long history of both satire and political activism. We have a legacy of going where commercial publications fear to tread, especially on issues of freedom of speech. I would be very surprised if our member publications rolled over without a fight.”

However, she said that the legislation set a worrying precedent in banning “satire,” from Parliament, which she said was an issue of censorship. “When a country allows its politicians to not just define satire, but also to control the way they are represented by the media, then that country might have some trouble in claiming to be a democracy” National Secretary of the Association

MacKinnon has declined to comment on rumours of a nationwide “week of shame” co-ordinated by the Association, but says he hopes to see a repeal of the rules rather than a crackdown on civil disobedience. “Our MPs have said that the public need to be able to trust them. We would suggest that they consider doing their job properly, rather than censoring our journalists.”

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007

Griffith Portrait Stolen Republican Mormons Suspected Cheeky inner city thieves struck recently at Hamilton’s Independent DVD Rental Store, Auteur House. On a Friday night, just before 10pm, they made off with three $10 Warehouse mirrors with an estimated resale value on Trade Me of less than $4.95. Of marginally more concern was the theft of a portrait of pioneering director DW Griffith, the work of local artist and “Nexus” contributor Dean Ballinger. In the opinion of Auteur House co-owner, Dr Richard Swainson, the decision to steal Griffith may well point to the culprit(s)’s identity. “Either the bastards are fairly knowledgeable film buffs or white supremacists”. Griffith’s extreme racial attitudes were reflected in his first masterpiece, “The Birth of a Nation”. Police are not believed to be searching the OutCasts’ Headquarters in an effort to recover the stolen property. Members of the “Crips” and “Bloods” gangs were questioned, but this was abandoned when it was discovered the gang members were too stupid to be able to speak. One other, less obvious, explanation of the strange events has crossed Dr Swainson’s mind. Arguing that the Griffith picture was “not Ballinger’s best work”, and that the image “bore more than a passing resemblance to the young George W Bush”, he thinks the theft could have been the result of mistaken identity by visiting young Republicans. “Whoever did it had to have a quick exit strategy. I could imagine some Mormons, passing on their bikes, succumbing to temptation when spotting a picture of their beloved leader so far from home”.


WAIKATO RANGER TO TAKE SEAT IN PARLIAMENT Dianne Yates will be vacating her Beehive seat from 8-11 July to allow Jenifer Cant, to become a youth politician in New Zealand’s fifth Youth Parliament.

Waikato Uni Team Wins Stuff Blitzing geeks from other NZ universities Team Ackermen from Waikato University will represent New Zealand in the worldwide Software Design category of Imagine Cup 2007 in August in Seoul. The student teams were asked to use Microsoft technology and .NET Web services to create a software application based on the competition theme of Imagine Cup 2007: “Imagine a world where technology enables a better education for all.” Team Ackermen’s project, Gary’s Lab, is an interactive educational game that teaches the theory of physics in a fun environment. The program resembles a 3-D computer game which helps students to solve physics problems and reinforces theory learnt in class by using a visual example. Team Ackermen took first prize in the regional finals, followed by T4 from the University of Otago in second place, then the AUT Champs from Auckland University of Technology in third. The team will now represent New Zealand at the finals in Seoul in August, where they stand a chance to win the US$25,000 cash prize for first place in the worldwide Software Design

competition. Team Ackermen consists of four members: Jonathan Stichbury, Jed Laundry, Dacre Denny and Beverly Rogers. Team leader Jonathan Stichbury said: “The competition has been an amazing experience so far. We have had great support from Microsoft and our industry and academic mentors. They have guided us throughout the process helping us overcome problems and making sure that the software met the needs of a real teaching environment. We are really excited about the opportunity we have to go to Korea in August and show our software on an international stage”. Hayley Smith, a Software Developer at Gallagher Group mentored the group. “The Imagine cup offers a fantastic incentive for students to take a look at the ICT industry, and the opportunities that are open to them. Competing in Korea is a super opportunity for the team to extend themselves even further and show the world what New Zealand can do.” Imagine Cup has grown to be a global event with more than 100,000 students from nearly every country in the world entering the 2007 competition, surpassing last year’s 68,000 participants from 100 countries.

Jenifer is a Cambridge person, a member of the Te Awamutu Rangers and a law student at Victoria University. Jenifer Cant is one of 121 Youth MPs selected by list and electorate MPs who will get invaluable hands-on experience of how Parliament works. “Youth Parliament 2007 is about giving young people the opportunity to understand the Parliamentary decisionmaking process, as well as the chance to express their views to politicians, government officials and the public. “Young people are the leaders of the future and Youth Parliament 2007 is a fantastic way of introducing the next generation of New Zealanders to the institution of Parliament. It can only improve the quality of our democracy to have as many New Zealanders as possible exposed to the way Parliament works.” Dianne Yates said she was “110% committed” to supporting Jenifer Cant through the Youth Parliament 2007 process. “I wish Jenifer the very best of luck in this exciting venture. She will be attending the Foreign Affairs, Defence & Trade select committee. “I have no doubt that all Youth MPs will be able to take back and apply the learnings and experiences of Youth Parliament 2007 in their home electorates. They could also be so inspired by the experience that one day they may choose to pursue a career in politics.”

The Best Summer Holiday Job Around! Do you love a challenge, work hard and want to make the most of an amazing summer job opportunity? Then selling Christmas Cookies is for you! Learn about running your own business, have great earning potential, and be well rewarded for your effort. Positions are available in towns and cities across New Zealand for the six weeks leading up to Christmas. For more information, see Student Job Search or head to our website for application details. WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007

What Now wants you to do the locomotion. Drunkenness optional What Now needs thousands of children, and possibly drunk students, to join them at the Hamilton Gardens (near the pavilion) on Sunday 15th July where they will be attempting to break the world record for the longest locomotion dance. In conjunction with SPARC and its Mission On programme, What Now will broadcast LIVE with its TV2 show from 8 - 10am in Hamilton. Waikato children and their families, as well as any drunk older siblings, are invited to come down and break the current record of 763 participants doing the locomotion dance. Registration for the event begin at 7am, with the world record attempt being broadcast live on What Now during the show. Along with Charlie, DJ Vinyl Richie, Serena, Tamati and Camilla there will be heaps of celebrity guests, who should fit in nicely amongst any drunk students. To kick of the morning join What Now for a mass aerobics session to warm up and then get ready to be entertainment by 48 May and the Spacifix. However, if mass aerobics isn’t your way of getting warm, you could probably just drink a bottle of whiskey instead. If you bring your sporting gears, you can to be part of the 10 fun Mission On action stations that will be set up around the park. Drunk students can try their hand at juggling, the dress up relay or have a go at target practice. NB: Drunk Students may or may not be arrested on the day. Conditions apply.


Lisbon: Not as interesting as it sounds BY LAURA MCQUILLAN - SALIENT

New Zealand qualifications are now recognized under a European convention, meaning better employment and study opportunities for New Zealanders in Europe. New Zealand’s request to accede to the Lisbon Convention on the Recognition of Qualifications concerning Higher Education in the European Area was approved at a meeting in Bucharest last month. This means someone with a New Zealand qualification can now work or study much easier overseas as their qualification will now have equivalent status in each of the 50 Lisbon convention countries, Tertiary Education Minister Michael Cullen said. The Lisbon Convention is recognised as setting international best practice for assessing and comparing qualifications from around the world. Signatories to the Lisbon Convention include the UK, France, Germany, Italy, USA, Canada and Australia.

Victoria Uni Student jailed for two years after stabbing BY LAURA MCQUILLAN AND NZPA

A Vic student who attacked another student on campus last year has been jailed for two years, with leave to apply for home detention. The 19-year-old man was convicted of wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm earlier this year. The defendant and victim had known each other since secondary school, and both men had developed an interest in the same woman. Three years prior to the attack the victim had begun a relationship with her, and the defendant believed the victim had “wronged” her shortly before the stabbing, the judge said. The defendant bought a craft knife and, knowing the victim’s lecture schedule, planned a time and place and attacked him on September 4 in a foyer.

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007


Important news stuff that happened in the holidays For all of us who only watch Shortland Street and infomercials FIELDAYS Farmers from around the country gathered at Mystery Creek to leer at farming stuff and John Key and a surprisingly and disappointingly small selection of promo girls


Giant Petanque Ball With Vaginas Appears Outside S-Block!

AMERICA’S CUP We won (the Lois Vuitton cup) and then we lost (the Americas Cup.) But it really doesn’t make any difference, because Alinghi is pretty much crewed entirely by Kiwis anyway THE RUGBY The headlining Hamilton social event of the year (apart from Fieldays) sent scores of drunk Canadians into the bars of our city of the future who were oddly stoked that their team didn’t lose by more than 100 points. THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA LOST ITS COLLECTIVE HEAD Certain TV networks and newspapers permanently lost all credibility when they ran headline items on (NAME DELETED)’s jail saga to the delight of every moron in New Zealand. Everyone’s favourite Zombie, Princess Diana, also had a good run, appearing pretty much everywhere on the 10th anniversary of her death, proving that, much like the undead, she will never truly be at rest.

By Nick Maarhuis In the middle of May, an unidentified object appeared on the lawn outside the recently completed S-block. Expert, drunken analysis has revealed it may be from the planet Petonkus Maximus, in the Superchromus Ballus galaxy. Investigations by Nexus uncovered that the alien visit was actually a cunning plan organised by the Waikato University Curator of Art, Anne Harlow, to lure students to the university. Several theories have been put forward to explain the phenomenon of the student-attraction effect it has. Some argue that the object emits a hyper-intensive gravitational field which only effects teenagers, while others hypothesise that it’s due to it being really, really, supershiny, attracting the attentions of stoners New Zealand-wide. It has also been proposed that the tear-drop shapes designed into it draw the ever-increasing emo population to view it. Whatever the case, it can be agreed by all that it is one very large shiny ball and is much more aesthetically pleasing than the dull green grass and painfully ugly sixties architecture which surrounds it.

PARLIAMENT LOST ITS COLLECTIVE HEAD In a move that would make Stalin proud, pretty much every damn MP in Parliament has voted for a move that bans “satirical” portrayals of MPs in the House. Good one, idiots. As if there’s any other way to portray you. And shot to the Greens for voting against. You crazy dope-smacked anti-kid-smackers you. THE iPHONE WAS RELEASE It’s been dubbed the Jesus phone. God knows why. But I want one, and so do you. THERE WAS TERRORISM IN SOME PLACES A bunch of doctors (doctors!) apparently tried to blow up Glasgow Airport, and a bunch of shit went down in Palestine and that. Several wars, genocides, despotic dictatorships and famines are underway, but this stuff mostly got ignored in favour of (NAME DELETED) and the iPhone.

The pleasure of its company has come at a price though, which cannot be confirmed yet, but was estimated by the Nexus Guess-o-meter at around fifty grand. Some would say this is a lot of money for a university making budget cuts in all areas due to decreasing enrolment numbers, but it truly complements the new S-block extension. Student opinion on the ball is varied, with one student commenting, ‘damn cuz, that shit’s shinier than my mate’s 20 inch rims!’, and another noting, ‘I like big balls, and that’s one big ball’. Matt from Nexus felt it ‘looks like a ball with big metal vaginas on it’. Whether or not the artist intended on it looking like a giant Petanque ball with anatomy, most will agree it is interesting looking and adds character to the university. WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007



“WAR ON STUPID” Hello, morons. This letter is for you. There are so many of you out there. I doubt you can read (and if you can, you’re probably not comfortable with words with more than one syllable) but perhaps a helpful friend will see this and read it to you. Firstly, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? The above is addressed to anyone in or involved with a gang. Now, I know I’m supposedly writing for a university audience, but maybe this will somehow seep into the dormant brain cells of someone in a gang. Seriously, why? Why would you want to import useless concepts like ‘crips’ and ‘bloods’ or whatever from the USA and then go to war with each other when you’re not crime-ing all over the place. You’re all so very stupid. Here’s what’s worrying about your stupidity. It’s actually downright bloody murderous, how dumb you are. This is a completely true story.

Who does that? While they might be caught, the stuff they stole almost certainly will never be recovered. Can you imagine them, congratulating each other as they ran away on their successful home invasion, assault and thievery? Does it make you angry? It does me. I don’t want to get all talk-radio on the student populace, but Something Must Be Done. If you’ve ever had an experience anything like this, Mr Safety Bigglesworth wants to hear from you. Please forward your gang-related correspondence to And now a word from our sponsor, Uni Security! Ray Hayward had the following to say:


A weekend or so ago my flatmates were having a party, while I was away for the weekend. Around 2 am they heard a noise in one of the bedrooms and went to investigate. Imagine their surprise when they found two gentlemen leaving

the room with my flatmate’s laptop. Understandably, the partiers– there were about five of them - gave chase, only to find that the two in the bedroom weren’t alone. Outside were about 15 or so more young men, ranging in age from 15 to about 22, according to guesses. A gang. These people proceeded to hurl bricks and rocks at my startled flatmates and friends, smashing her car’s body and windows and knocking chunks out of the house and fence. The flatmates quickly got on the phone to the police, who were around reasonably quickly, but the gang had already left.


The NZ Police (our Community Constable) mentioned to me that the Police will be strictly enforcing the law in regard to wearing a helmet when riding a push bike. I have seen a number of people actually carrying their helmet as they ride down the road as well which is pointless really. [not to mention beyond retarded – S.Bigglesworth] This blitz will affect all students and staff cycling to the University not wearing helmets. The problem the Police are faced with is the adults are not wearing helmets and as role models the University students are not setting a good example to the school children they pass coming to campus every day. The fine for not wearing a helmet is $55:00 and the fine for riding on the footpath is $75:00 So be warned, the NZ Police are looking to enforce the wearing of a helmet on a push bike law and also fining those caught riding on the footpath. I have confirmed from the Warehouse that adult cycling helmets range from $25:00 upwards should someone need to purchase one. There. Sage words of advice. I really don’t think you needed to be told, though. If the threat of a fine is all that keeps you from not wearing a helmet, you’re probably beyond help. That’s all for now. Excelsior!


Mr. Safety Bigglesw

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007


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Have a crack at answering it and drop it into either Liquor King or the WSU before Saturday and we’ll pick the person that seems to have the coolest flat in uni town, and on Saturday arvo we’ll help kick start your Re-Oweek weekend by sending a couple of crew members from the LK team around to your flat with a BBQ and enough free food and booze to keep you and your flatties occupied for a couple of hours ! Nice!

0800 4 LK DIRECT 0800 4 55 347 connects you to your nearest Liquor King store.

HILLCREST Cnr Clyde & York Sts, Hamilton • Phone: 07 856 9170 • Fax: 07 8569169 • Email: Valid until close of trade Sunday 15th July 2007 at Hillcrest store only. While stocks last. We reserve the right to limit quantities. Trade not supplied. All major credit cards accepted. Excludes all other promotions & discounts.

Send your letters to before next Tuesday will generally guarantee that they will be printed in the following issue. If you prefer snail mail, send letters to Lettuce, Nexus magazine, University of Waikato, Private bag 3059, Hamilton. Keep ‘em short and readable!

Letter of the Week Margaret Wilson stupid, amputee Dear Nexus Editor, I don’t blame those lazy, foul-mouthed, smarmy, fascist-in-democrats-clothing MPs at all for wanting to control media coverage of Parliament. If I had a job where I could get away with sleeping at work, swearing at colleagues rather than engaging with issues, pissing in corridors, taking bribes and calling it “koha”, and shoving tennis balls down teenagers mouths I wouldn’t want any of it getting in the papers or on tv either. Some would say that Speaker Margaret Wilson hasn’t got a leg to stand on, that banning satirical coverage of the

To the 14 year old engineer In response to your allegations that the movie ‘300’ is based on history, I would just like to point out a few movie quotes from the creators: “I didn’t think having three hundred slow moving guys in skirts would be as cool as naked guys running with red capes,” says Frank Miller. (Check out http://entertainment.howstuffworks. com/inside-3003.htm) No red speedo’s then. (Actually, they wore chest armour, red skirts and shin protectors – that’s the real ‘real men’ for you.) “But we were much more interested in it being a movie version of the comic book than we were in a movie version of history. This is about making Frank’s and Zack’s vision.” Hmmn, the creators say its not history, its something they made up. True, the battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C. did actually happen and yes, there was an invading horde from Persia, but Xerxes did not join in the battle, was not sexually ambiguous, and was not a two dimensional tyrant in as much as he attempted the invasion of mainland Greece by first negotiating an alliance with Carthage. Also, he was really attacking Greece because Athens had supported rebellions inside Persia some ten years previously when his Dad, Darius 1st had ruled. There was no question as to whether or not Sparta


House of Representatives runs contrary to the basic tenets of freedom of expression that underpin our democracy. I would point out that Marge does in fact have at least one good leg, and that the other is about as wooden as her arguments. She’s the Heather Mills of New Zealand politics, and her ‘shoot the messenger’ ideas about the press make about as much sense as calling Paul McCartney a wife-beater. Dr Richard Swainson Cheers Doc, you win yourself a $5 Campus Kiosk voucher. Come to the Nexus office to claim your prize!

would help defend against the invasion; the real question was where? (For more info go to: mn/entertainment/300_history_031407.pdf) Some of the corny lines do come from ancient accounts by Herodotus and Plutarch who probably invented it, but that is no excuse for the rest of the dialogue, which runs like a three-legged dog running towards the bones of a hackneyed disembodied narrator. The throwing of ugly/fat/deformed babies into a pit may’ve happened to create “better, fitter Spartans” (http://clioseye.sfasu. edu/NEWCLIO/Main%20Articles/main.htm) but skinny porno stereotypes have only been considered attractive by western standards since the introduction of the corset, when it became fashionable for rich fat women to appear otherwise. As to bad mouthing boxers, just because you know how to fight, doesn’t mean you can’t speak with more than your fists. So yes, the movie is very loosely based on something that did happen (although historically inaccurate,) and yes the Persians came from Persia (gosh) and although they were a massive horde they were not all-conquering: Xerxes faced troubles in Babylonia and elsewhere. The Spartans of reality were not renown for their

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007

honesty; rather they were known for their secrecy and spreading of disinformation. All I was saying was that in a modern context, the good versus bad storyline was blown way out of proportion. Lastly, I completely agree with you that 13-year-old attraction to this type of movie is not limited by gender. You are right, but the movie is still terrible. Regards, Joe Citizen

Kahu One Dear Nexus When the kaupapa is wrong, it is wrong, and no amount of bull is going to change it. Apparently people, not all is not well in little paradise where personlities under guise of ‘doing the right thing’(TIKANGA) clash. The thing that is really amuzing is when a mindset is set in a direction that will only cause conflict others usually object and when this happens no amount of self pity and recrimination is going to be useful - I mean to say that if the peg is square going into a round hole, it just doesnt fit. The new Maori working party are running out of members as one has resigned already. Not bad that didnt take long did it? Perhaps now people might see sense and fix that thing that was broken. How is a new group going to get true mana and accountability when already the group is less one member. Perhaps the question needs to come back again - What makes this new group more accountable and transparent than the last one - How will the ills of another group be taken away when already there are signs of the same nature of the other group (resignations - due to personalities). Remember people just because it walks and waddles like a duck - maybe it aint a duck? Kahu Nikora

Kahu Two Dear Nexus In answer to Professor (jah)issue 12 dated 28 May 07 pg 14 - you seem to be an expert on Dicks and Gonads I am wondering whether you


have hairy palms as well. You also must be some kind of comedian (funny person, Professor) and should build a bridge and get over yourself. You acuse me of offering nothing except, I have a reputation of helping and aiding alot of people especially Maori students on this campus. Where are your so called results or is it because I dared to have an opinion that does not agree with your own, you seek to ridicule (this means to mock or scorn, Professor) me with your attempt at saying nothing. I have no wish to run for the office of WSU - I have done my Old-boys dash unlike you. Two years I stood in front of alot of people - why would I hide from the likes of you. As far as your graduate crap - check yourself because you better grad on time or this comment will come back to you. How is it you hide away from the dear public you profess (to admit - own up to, Professor)representing. Grow those Balls and atleast put name to your letter like I do. Kahu Nikora

The banana of what? Madam, As a member of the god-fearing, rugbyplaying, skirt-wearing, militarily enacted government of the banana of Fiji I’d like to register my disgust at the aggressive actions of the New Zealand government. Any more

interference in our private dictatorship, from pregnant lawyers or diplomats intent on doing their job, and we just might stop accepting the hand-outs and charity that props our pathetic little country up. Yours in stoic defence of indigenous rights, Field Marshall Barney Rubble.

Doughnut wants scooters Dear Nexus On a wild trip to Vietnam, I noticed that their public transport was much different to ours... (and a lot of other things too, but that’s a different story.) People there had motorbike taxis, and although there were five-six people crammed all on one bike with no safety protection what-so-ever, I thought it was a brilliant idea. Where’s our motorbike taxis? And where’s all the motorbikes and scooters? Recently, I splurged out on a flash motorbike and started riding that instead of my BMW sports coupe. It cost $13 to fill completely, (compared to around $100 for my car) and I hardly have to fill it up! It’s quite funny watching people in cars waiting in long cues, wasting their precious fossil fuels. It’s even funnier watching people trying to find a park at uni for 30 mins, sometimes even an hour, while I zip in to my motorbike park, (which is very empty I must add). I say, buy motorbikes! Scooters! Whatever! and

the govt. should bring in motorbike taxis instead of buses, (which nobody really rides anyway.) Doughnut Monkey

More evidence of Nexus’ commie exploits Comrade Editor, As a visiting student from the People’s Republic of China I would like to applaud your Prime Minister’s decision not to meet that notorious war monger, the Dali Lama. The decadent West has for too long indulged the fantasies of a man who counts Richard Gere and Steven Seagal amongst his closest friends; it is heartening to hear of a leader brave enough to spit in the eye of a laughing bald monk whose only message is peace and happiness. It’s really funny when you have pretended to be a Communist country as long as China to see the kind of behaviour those who wish to trade with you at any cost are prepared to stoop to. We’ve been twice as naughty since the end of the Cold War, but nobody cares! Who Flung Dung PS Could you please do something about those shrivelled up Falun Gong types who clutter up Campus on a daily basis? They are a pack of smelly liars and if you don’t get rid of them we’ll just go and get educated somewhere else.

Citizens Advice Bureau The constant crying upsets Jayden THERE always seems to be crying coming from the house next door. The young children there don’t seem to have enough love or care and they often appear hungry, cold or dirty. Often they appear to be left alone. He doesn’t know if he should interfere. He just doesn’t know what to do. The University branch of Citizens Advice Bureau can give you information about this or other concerns you might have. They have heaps of pamphlets and a huge data base to help answer any questions. Visit them at the Cowshed from 11am – 2pm daily during semesters or phone 838 4466 extn 6622 or 0800FORCAB. Jayden can do something about the problem next door. He can ring Children,Young and Family. For your information, child abuse doesn’t necessarily have to be physical. It can be sexual, mental, emotional, or it can even be neglect. Children can be severely damaged by abuse and neglect. They are hurt physically, emotionally, WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

mentally and socially and it can cause fatalities. Their self-esteem is damaged, sometimes permanently. Child abuse is everyone’s problem and it’s more common than you think. It affects children from every type of home, family, religion, race and culture. In most cases of abuse, the abuser is well known to the child – a family member, close relative or friend of the family. By reporting abuse, you can help make a child safe. If a child or young person tells you they are being abused: • Don’t panic. • Listen. Write down what the child says. • Don’t interview the child about what they have said. • Reassure the child that they have done the right thing. Tell them that they will get help. • Tell Child, Youth and Family. Ring 0508 FAMILY (0505 326 459) or the Police. • If nothing seems to be happening, contact Child, Youth and Family again. ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007


or a jew. If you’re a jewish communist, then even better! So it follows that, as Judaism and communism rise again in popularity (which is happening right now as I write) then beards will become the hot new fashion accessory for the 21st century. Is that tall blonde guy in my class wearing Christopher Moltisanti’s jacket? My sources say no. My sources reckon that guy is wearing a coat, not a jacket. Does “Lost” have a conclusion? Better not tell you now. Does Lost have a beginning or a middle? No. So why would it have a conclusion, doong-brain? There’s no conclusion to be had. One day it just won’t be on the TV anymore, and you’ll wonder if you ever really watched it.

Could Gordon Brown have any more of an English sounding name? Signs point to yes. His name could be Sussex Essex. And then what would you say? Is spearmint flavoured lubricant hazardous to my health? Cannot predict now. Although I can predict that, in this town at least, not wearing a dental dam is hazardous to your gums. And if you were wearing a dental dam, then you probably wouldn’t be tasting that spearmint flavoured lubricant. When are you going to start using protection? How many times do you have to get burnt? Literally! Are the ducks ever going to come back to the Uni lakes? As I see it, yes. They won’t necessarily be ‘live’ ducks, per se. And I think the university was hoping that you hadn’t noticed their absence and wouldn’t bat an eyelid when they floated a flock of wooden birds on that giant septic tank of doom. Will beards be back in fashion anytime soon? Yes definitely. Beards are always in fashion if you’re a communist


Will America win the war on terror? Yes, definitely. America is winning right now! See how all the terror has gone away? That is America winning the war on terror! Hold on, what is terror again? Is terror something to do with pants? It’s not? No pants? Okay, maybe I was watching the wrong war. I thought Dai Henwood was the presenter. Is College Hall haunted? Without a doubt. College Hall is haunted by the ghost of firstyears past. Specifically, anyone who was a first year between 1993 and 1997. In the dead of night they can be seen crawling, naked and inebriated through the corridors of College Hall, humming Breeders songs under their collective ghostly breaths, vomiting into Doc Martens ten-ups lined with flannel shirts.

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007


H gh Stakes A

t a table covered in green baize, two men face each other. The younger of the two, aged in his twenties, wears a striped shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows. The other man, who is older, wears a faded blue jacket. A small crowd gathers. The cards are dealt. Blue Jacket has a king and an eight; Stripes a five and a nine. The flop is 10, king, five. Stripe’s pair of fives looks hopeless against a pair of kings. Then a miracle: a five on the turn. The crowd murmurs in appreciation. Stripe’s face relaxes for a second. Then the river – it’s a king. The crowd howls, someone kicks over a chair in the excitement and Blue Jacket punches the air. He reaches over and shakes the younger man’s hand. “Your round then?” he asks. This is No Limit Texas Hold’Em Poker, the most popular game in the world. And chances are it is being played in a pub or a living room near you. For the uninitiated, Texas Hold ‘Em is a variant of poker; a game which had its origins in Robstown, Texas and which now attracts millions of players, casual and


professional, worldwide. The professionals say the game can be learned in a minute but it takes a lifetime to master. It works like this: each person is dealt two ‘pocket’ cards. They then make the best possible poker hand with five cards shared by all players. The game is full of jargon, but the key terms are a ‘flop’ (the first three cards dealt), the ‘turn’ (the next card dealt) and the ‘river’ (the last card). Players bet between rounds. They can choose to “check” (not bet) raise, or fold. The most common variant of Texas Hold’Em is the “no limit” variety; and it’s this that is usually played at social poker nights. Poker is huge worldwide; the US has an estimated 50 million players, including celebrities like Ben Affleck and Tobey Maguire. The Poker World Series is the world’s most valuable “sporting” event, with a top prize of $12 million. Internet poker is $US3 billionplus industry, with more than 1.2 million customers in the US alone. The Crown Casino in Melbourne last year hosted a tournament for


a $60 million purse. Six pros paid $10 million – each – for the privilege of taking part. But the revolution stoking the poker fires in New Zealand has nothing to do with big money and glitzy surroundings and, ironically, little or no money changes hands. Social poker is about pitting one’s skills against a few mates. It’s more about bar tabs and bragging rights than high stakes. At the Crossroads Bar in Hamilton on a late autumn afternoon, the main bar is packed. This is the regional final of the The National Poker League, which has 500 listed members and is growing every week. A regional final is held about every 16 weeks. The winner picks up $500 cash and a pass to the Auckland final, all expenses paid. At the final, they stand to win a $15 000 prize pack, airfares, accommodation and entry to a “major international tournament.” The league is one of dozens of social poker organisations springing up around the country. The biggest, the Jack Daniels-sponsored

“When I first started I thought it was a bit… well, stupid. Then I fell in love” SAM MORTON ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007


National Pub Poker League, has up to 15, 000 members nationwide, and plays in 90 pubs. Tonight’s players are a mixed bunch. Just under half are typical poker players – men aged 25-30. But around a quarter are women and several players are older. Andrew Davis, a 21-year-old website developer, is one of the organisers. “It’s a real mix of people,” he says. “It’s the nature of the game; it brings people together socially. There are never conflicts – good natured ribbing is about it.” It appears he is right. The atmosphere is tense but friendly, with frequent bursts of laughter or groans at a bad play. One player is Sam Morton, a 26-year-old Waikato Institute of Technology student, who learned the game while working as a croupier in a Dunedin casino. “We used to play after work. I’ve been playing for about three years on and off,” he says,

long as there’s poker on TV. People see things on TV and they like to copy. We’re sheep, we follow trends. Poker in New Zealand’s going through a real growth phase and by the end of this year you’re going to see a couple more $5-10,000 tournaments coming into New Zealand. Overseas it’s still huge.” Honeybone says television tournaments create heroes, much like any other sport. But while the average rugby spectator will never be a Dan Carter, any poker fan can, literally, be the next World Series winner. Example: the aptly-named Chris Moneymaker, an accountant from Tennessee, won entry to the World Series of Poker through a US$39 online tournament. He went on to win the series, netting US$2.5 million and instant superstardom. Last year’s $12 million first prize was won by Jamie Gold - a television producer who plays poker in his spare time. But Honeybone says these examples are the exception rather than the norm. Most small-timers will stay that way, playing

“People see things on TV and they like to copy. We’re sheep, we follow trends”


without taking his eyes off the flop. There are two aces and a nine. He chooses not to bet. “When I first started I thought it was a bit… well, stupid. Then I fell in love,” he says. He says money doesn’t come into it. “I used to play for a lot of money. I won heaps of times, and then I lost $20 one night. I never played again. That’s how tight I am.” So how does he rate his chances at scooping the $500 prize? “Slim to none.” Asked who he thinks will do well, he points to a couple of players across the room. “That bloke in the blue jacket is pretty good. And see the guy dressed like a pirate? He carries his chips around with him – he’s convinced someone stole them during a break once.” Poker pros point to TV and the Internet as the main drivers of the game’s popularity. James Honeybone, a Waikato University Management student and professional poker player (ranked seventh in New Zealand) says without the advent of televised poker, the social and pub scene wouldn’t exist. “The [popularity of] poker will continue as WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ


only be their pride on the line but they play as if the stakes were a million dollars. Another player, Tony Wooton (the one dressed like a pirate whose chips are secured in his pocket) says he lives and breathes the game. “I make enough to supplement my income, but not enough to substitute it,” he says. His biggest game was a $200 table. Wooton says he would like to turn pro but he enjoys the pub tournaments. “Number one reason I play is because it’s a live game; it’s good practice and fun. Number two, I’d like to play in a big tournament, like the World Series of Poker or Aussie Millions, or just get into the nationals, and this could be my ticket.”

low or no-money games for fun.

He’s optimistic about his chances today. “I should at least make final table.”

Back at the Crossroads bar, things are heating up. The groans are louder, but things are still amiable. No one is drinking much. There are a few beers on hand but they are slipped slowly; players like to keep a clear head. As the tension increases, sweat patches appear. There are shouts of laughter as a player is knocked out.

But it’s not to be. He bows out after his ace high loses to three kings. He’s philosophical. “If you’re not first, you’re not in the money,” he says. The players are whittled down, until two are left. One wears a striped shirt, the other a blue jacket. This is where we came in… Blue Jacket shouts his opponent a beer.

Sam Morton looks at his cards. He’s got a king and a 10 of diamonds. On his left, his mate Dave Snell has the short stack - he’s got fewer chips than anyone else, and looks like he’ll soon be leaving. He checks his cards – an ace and king of spades. It’s one of the best possible Hold’Em hands. Morton raises 1000 chips, and Snell calls. The flop (nine, king, seven) gives both a pair – but Snell has the ace and the edge. Morton raises again, and Snell goes all in. They show their cards, Morton carelessly flicking out his king, confident.

It turns out his name is Bill Wilson. He is 67, plays pub poker once a week and at the casino once a month. “I lost my wife a year ago, and it’s something to do. They’re good people [who play], and it’s good to be around them,” he says.

Snell shows his king – and then slides it to reveal the ace underneath. Morton winces. Snell’s hand is shaking like he’s just run a marathon.

His opponent Stripes, aka Todd McKinnon, 26, who regularly plays at the Morrinsville Top Bar, is gracious in defeat. “He’s also competitive,” he grins. “He likes to win.”

For these players, this tournament is as real as the World Series, right down to player nicknames and high-wire stress. It may ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007


Ground floor, Student Union Building, University of Waikato, Gate One, Knighton Road, Hamilton Mon-Fri: 8:30AM – 4:30 PM

Phone: 07 856 9139 Fax: 07 856 3161

WSU President’s Welcome Kia ora everyone, and welcome back! B semester is all go and over the next couple of months the WSU have organised a variety of activities and events for you to take part in. We are launching this part of the year with Re-Orientation, a fun-filled week of music, activities and specific events to help get you motivated for the rest of the year ahead. One of the major campaigns that you will be seeing from the WSU is the promotion of the upcoming WSU executive elections. We are going to be putting a lot of effort into ensuring that we get a good proportion of quality candidates to fill the roles of the executive for 2008. Over the next couple of weeks we will be communicating to you the types of experiences

you can benefit from in your careers by being part of the WSU team, in particular being the President. So please watch this space to find out more about what’s in store for you if you put your hand up to be part of this organisation. Another huge message that we are trying to pump out into the student arena is the importance of voting in the local body elections. Elections are being held this year from mid-September through until early October for the Hamilton City Council, Environment Waikato and the District Health Board. It is crucial for you to vote! The current perception of the student body in Hamilton’s wider community is that we just don’t vote, because we just don’t care. Surely this is not the case because everything that gets done at the council table has a direct affect

on the way we live our lives as citizens in this community. From buses, to community houses, to parks and roads, local government directs, manages and governs how resources are being processed and utilised and how rates are being allocated. Throughout the course of this week you will be seeing WSU executive members out and about signing people up to the electoral role so that they are able to vote. Please do not hesitate to come up and ask questions about the voting process, or to just check that you are on the roll. We need to ensure that as a student body, we are represented around the council table. Ciao for now! Sehai —


NZUSA Conference: Lincoln University, Christchurch 20TH – 24TH JUNE 2007

With Lincoln University offering promises of snow and no livestock on their campus, ten of your executive headed south to Christchurch for the second of three NZUSA conferences. For those of you who don’t know, WSU is part of a federation of student associations which is the largest student body in the country. NZUSA stands for “The New Zealand Union of Students’ associations”. Basically as a collective voice we lobby the government and other people of influence on issues of concern for tertiary students (yes, this includes polytechs). These issues include Living Allowances for all, the never-ending fees debate, and campaigns to lobby the government to increase funding for public tertiary education. The logic behind this is that many voices get heard more clearly then an individual voice. The week began with Maori caucus which is where Maori students are able to get


together to discuss issues that are specific to Maori students. This should be a valuable time for Maori students to network and discuss ways that any issues for Maori students can be resolved; however, as your representatives we did not feel that the time was being effectively used in either this conference, or the previous one. As a result, we moved a motion that Maori caucus be reduced to a half day session, with the intention that this would cause the organisers to be more diligent in the facilitation of this session and mean that we got the best value out of your money. Our motion was seconded by OUSA (Otago University Students’ Association) and supported by the majority of those present at the session. This was then formally passed at closing plenary. The next day we separated for Mens’ and Womens’ conferences at which the official launch of the Thursdays in Black

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007

campaign was held. Lianne Dalziel (Labour MP for Christchurch East and among other things the Minister of Women’s Affairs) addressed the group and shared some shocking statistics about domestic violence within New Zealand. The new campaign features All Black Corey Flynn so look for the posters around campus soon. The last three days are spent working hard during the day in the form of workshops and political panels, while the evenings are spent caucusing, networking and generally having fun. LUSA (Lincoln University Student’s Association) were fantastic hosts and even though they didn’t come through with the snow, they provided us with great food, warm rooms, and there really wasn’t any livestock on their campus. Moira Neho Vice-President —



11 AM

Cultural Day Cultural performances from some of the best groups on campus. Performances start from 11 AM, so be there early to check it out.


10 AM

Market Day The sales are coming to uni. You wont have to dig deep to get specials this day. Get anything from jewellery to clothing and more.

7 PM

Extreme Quiz Night Test your knowledge and compete in games for prizes and glory — teams of up to six people to compete in the ultimate Re-Orientation quiz. Starts at 7 PM and it’s down at Don Llewellyn’s on Campus. $3 handles and $6 jugs available.

Day events held at Village Green (Banks) Tickets to The Black Seeds and the Comedy Night available at the WSU reception (Student Union building, cash only)


11 AM

Clubs Day All the clubs will be here with info about themselves and what offers you can get. Come down, ask them questions and find out all you want. There will also be performances and give aways during this day, so check it out.

7 PM

The Black Seeds Supported by The Deadly Deaths and Cosmic Ska Child at The Bahama Hut (Alexandra St). Tickets $20 for Uni students, $35 for everyone else. Tickets available at WSU Reception and door sales at 8 PM (only if available).


11 AM

The Waikato Draught Student Olympics The team event of any Orientation, sign up at or get a form from the WSU reception (Student Union building). Teams of 4 (must have persons from either sex). This starts just after midday. Plus, we have a Timber Sport display.

7 PM

Comedy Night Featuring Steve Wrigley, Cory Gonzalez-Macuer, Mrs Peacock and Simon McKinney at Don Llewellyn’s on Campus (Silverdale Road). Tickets $10 for everyone. Tickets available at WSU Reception and door sales (only if available).


11 AM

Games Day The name kinda sucks but describes it best — it tells you exactly what you need to know. We have games, the Hell of a Pizza eating competition and Orientation Record are both back, plus give aways, live music and free beer.

More information about Re-Orientation available at

amazing success. Now you have exciting times ahead with your European month long album launch, kicking off mid July in London. How does a European tour influence your musical outlook? I guess it’s good for a band to be on tour in Europe and see what the other big bands are doing. Not necessarily similar bands, but just to see how other bands are trying to make it. It does open your perception of what it is you are trying to do and how difficult it can be - it gives us better clarify when you see other acts perform. Also, when you get to London you can look in the paper and there are international acts touring Europe all the time and it’s inspiring for us to be at that level. Getting out there - doing the festivals and widening our fan base.


Sowing The Seeds That Bloom I

t’s all going on with The Black Seeds. This month has seen an onslaught of exciting news. News that shall take them overseas, climbing up the ladder of international success. Their innovative fusion of reggae, dub, soul and ska has been sophistically reworked into their new album Into The Dojo. Their last tour recently sold out in Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne and Wollangong and now with the European signing The Black Seeds are ready for their fast growing international following. Don’t worry, they aren’t turning their backs on us completely – they’re touring nationwide here in Sept/Oct. Lucy Wyatt from Salient magazine (Wellington) talks to Barnaby Weir from The Black Seeds to find out where they are heading this year. Salient: Firstly, I would like to congratulate you on signing with the renowned international labels “Sonar Kollectiv” for Europe and “Rough Trade” in Holland. How does it feel to have that level of recognition? Barnaby: Cheers, yeah it’s really good and it feels quite satisfying. We have done some European tours in the past so it’s great to get something from them. It’s (Sonar Kollectiv)


a good label, quite a diverse label, and yeah it’s exciting. It’s just the beginning I guess… Your new album Into The Dojo is to be launched across Europe and Japan, at the beginning of next month. So tell me, how did the title of the album come about? Well we rehearse in an old Dojo where we’ve spent many years. There is a bit of a history to the place - stretching back probably 15 or 20 years. Many different people have used it for music over that time - different bands - underground bands, some really good bands have passed through there. We have been using it for about five years or so, and we’ve spent a lot of time there tuning our sound. It’s a funny place, really dingy sometimes, especially if it’s a nice day outside - it doesn’t let much sun in. But that is where the magic has been made and lots of cool music has come out of that room. Your recent tour of Australia was an ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007

Into The Dojo has had raving reviews so far. Was it a natural progression from On The Sun, or do you feel your sound has changed? It was a natural progression but On The Sun does have a slightly different rhythm partly because it’s slightly different band - I mean, the same band, but different members. And we’ve matured as artists and we’ve got better as we’ve done more gigs. Genre wise - it’s not really a huge shift. Perhaps there is more variety in the new album, it’s less poppy, a bit darker - we dimmed the lighting. Daniel Weetman was one of the writers, he’s more of a shared writer from the rest of the band, and Mike Fabulous who plays the guitar produced the album with Lee Prebble, who records lots of other bands. I’m really into the album it’s a good one from us. It’s more interesting than the previous one, and a bit different. We see a lot of successful New Zealand bands relocate. Does the band have any plans to move offshore in the future? Well, no not really, I mean not at this stage. I’m not sure if that will ever happen because of the way the band works. There are young fathers in the band and the kids and families are based here. If you really wanted to take on Europe you would just move somewhere cheap in the middle of it and just nail it for three years, but we are not going to do that because it’s just not possible and it’s more important to just have the band all together doing as much as we can. We need to work within those boundaries. We can do a month here or two months there. We do replace people if they can’t make it on a big tour, but you can’t put that type of pressure on everyone as they have other responsibilities. For more info on The Black Seeds, check out their websites at: WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

If you would like to advertise a notice here then email it to nexus@waikato. Keep it roughly around 100 words and send it in before Tuesday 5PM for next week’s issue. We will fit in as many notices as we can! Look out for the Nexus online notices, where you’ll be able to submit, view and reply to notices via the magical wondry of the interweb!

Flatmate wanted: 2 minute walk to uni. To share with 1 girl and 3 guys aged 17 - 21. Must be easy going, tidy, and like to party. Contact 027 304 8971 Flatmate wanted: to flat with four students. Close to uni. Good size room. Big house. Rent $80 p/w. For further details or interest contact us on (07) 839 0809 or 027 696 5463 Flatmate wanted: Looking for an easygoing, tidy flatmate to live with 3 girls and 2 guys. Rent $72 p.w. plus expenses (broadband, ph, power etc). House is fully furnished apart from bedroom. Smokers ok, no pets. Avail. now. Contact 078593459 or 021532914. Large sunny, external entry room available now. 10 min walk from university, off Carrington Ave. Call 856 2718 or text 021 035 9933 to come see the room

For Sale Ideal Student Car: Do you

want a cheap car that runs well for only $500? 1990 Mitsubishi Galant, Current WOF and rego, only 160,000kms If you don’t mind a couple of dents in the panelwork it’s all yours .. Ring or txt 027 255 1815 Car for Sale: 1988 Honda Civic, black, manual, powersteering, electric windows, 3 stack cd player $1300 ONO text or call KB on 027 4273614 Mazda Capella for sale 1996, Automatic, Dark blue, tidy inside and out, 173000km, WOF, $1900, txt or call 0212673180

Situations Vacant/Student Opportunities Musicians and Performers: Calling all musicians and performers. Shaw Promotions is looking to promote bands and funky acts, as well as provide a centre for musicians to network with other like-minded people. At this stage we need information: who you are; what

you play; and also any additional info that would help us help you. Call RIki on 027 227 0788 if you’re wanting to get into the scene!! Scholarships for Adult Learners - This year there are FOUR awards from the ViceChancellor to celebrate Adult Learners. These are worth $1500 each which should be a big help to many of you out there. As advertised by the Scholarships office, to receive this award you just need to be nominated by either a staff member, OR, a fellow student. So what should you do? Well, you could either

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INDEPENDENT BROADCASTING COMMUNITY AGM The Independent Broadcasting Community, which oversees the management of Contact 88.1FM will be holding its Annual General Meeting on Sunday 15 July at 6pm in Guru Phabian’s Lounge, Student Union Building at the University of Waikato. All welcome. Annual membership subs of payable on the night. A quorum of 30 students is required in order for election of executive and ordinary positions to take place. This is a great opportunity to get involved in Contact 88.1FM and have a say in how it is run.


wait for someone to recognise all the hard work that you do (let’s face it, everyone else is so busy that this just may not happen), or you could get together with your mates and nominate each other for this great award. Don’t forget that there are criteria that you will need to meet in order to be eligible for these awards; specifically you will need to be over the age of 25 years old. Nominations close Friday 13 July 2007 so get in quick! For more information please contact


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ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007





Steve Wrigley, Cory Gonzalez-Macuer, Mrs Peacock and Simon McKinney

Steve Wrigley Winner of the 2006 NZ International Comedy Festival ‘Spirit of the Festival’ Award, Steve Wrigley has been compared to both Andy Kaufman and Robin Williams. Steve’s world is one of insanely colourful characters and madly improvised stories which feature the downright wierd and often wrong! Much of Steve’s energy on stage comes from him not knowing what his next punchline is going to be as he mixes improvised standup with well crafted routines. This high energy performer is not to be missed! National Theatresports Champion Spirit of the Festival Award – 2006 NZ International Comedy Festival Comedian of the Year – 2006 Wellington Comedy Awards Best MC. - 2002 Wellington Comedy Awards Best Improvised Act - 2002 Wellington Comedy Awards


Thursday at Don Llewellyn’s on Campus

Doors open at 7pm, laughs start at 8pm

Mrs Peacock New Zealand’s most offensive comedians and winners of the 2007 Billy T Awards, Dave Smith and Jarrod are the daring Wellington comedy-rock duo, ‘Mrs Peacock’. They formed back in 2000 and quickly became the darlings of the Wellington club circuit. They cleaned up the category for ‘Most Offensive Gag’ in the 2005 NZ Comedy Guild Awards and the 2006 Wellington Comedy Awards with their song ‘Walking the Line’ and were double nominees with another song ‘The Flange’. Outrageously funny, their Rock 101 show is selling out all over the country.

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007


NEW COURSES IN WOMEN’S & GENDER STUDIES Women’s and Gender studies has reinstated its Graduate programme in 2007; the papers on offer focus on contemporary gender issues, both within New Zealand and internationally. “In particular, they aim to provide students with the knowledge, competencies and analytical skills sought after both

nationally and internationally in areas of critical research and policy analysis,” says Charlotte Church, Liaison and Marketing Coordinator for the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences. The new graduate papers are as follows:

WGST 506-07B Theorising Gender

Convener: Rachel Simon-Kumar Description: Issues of gender and the ‘developing’ world have been a focus of interest for academics and development practitioners alike for several decades now. This graduate half paper Gender, Policy and Development brings together these two intersecting dimensions – a critical and a practice-oriented focus – by looking at issues and concerns when developing policies that aim to foster change for women. In the twelve weeks of the paper, students will be exposed to the foundations of the field of women and development, the interdisciplinary nature of the issues that confront the sector, and the complexity of factors that influence policy development. Economic, social, cultural, institutional, local-global influences are among the dynamics that contribute to engendering policy. An emphasis of the course is to familiarise students with research and theoretical contributions of both practitioners and scholars in the field.

Convener: Rachel Simon-Kumar Description: Are women “citizens” in the same way that men are? Is it easier or difficult to put ‘women’s issues’ on the political agenda, and why? When is equality for women unjust? The graduate half paper Theorising Gender explores and extends fundamental constructs of feminism into the area of social and political theory. The paper considers the issues related to the State, citizenship, justice, and political identity of women. It aims to provide a foundation of feminist political critique that will enable students to develop a gendered perspective of polity, politics and policy.






s? Jo


in th

e clu

















WGST 507-07B Gender, Policy and Development



See any movie and be in to WIN! Every movie you see at SKYCITY Cinemas before August 22 gets you a HOTSEAT code. TXT it in for a chance to win daily prizes! Plus see any 3 movies and you could win the chance to grab $10,000 cash! Find full details at or ask in cinemas.






© 2007 Warner Bros. Ent. Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R. Harry Potter characters, names and related indicia are trademarks of and © Warner Bros. Ent. All Rights Reserved.



ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007




t o H s ’ y e K ! s n o i s s Confe IVE! S U L C X E S U X NE


exus met with the National Party leader/ Preferred Future Prime Minister and asked him some (fairly) candid questions! Nexus: What’s the difference between the National Party and the Labour Party in modern terms? John Key: The Labour Party believes in the State controlling pretty much everything across the economy, from health right through to education. We support the private sector, we believe that the private sector’s got a role to play. We’re not saying that the government doesn’t have a very important role to play, but we believe in the sort of model which promotes greater freedom, greater personal responsibility, a lower tax regime, and where more New Zealanders get to make more choices on their own behalf. What’s the difference between the National Party under Don Brash and the National Party under John Key? I think it’s fair to say that I’m much more of a centrist-type politician. So in some regards there’ll be a different policy mix. I think I’ve got a much more heavy emphasis on the environment than Don had. You know, part of it is tone – he had a fairly heavy emphasis on race issues, I take a slightly different approach to that. I could spend my life as the leader of the National party and potentially the leader of New Zealand sort of putting New Zealanders against each other, but I just don’t, fundamentally, think that’s the right way to go. From unity a country gets strength, and we can try and bring people together. So, I mean, we have a slightly different focus.



So that means you’ll be sticking with the “one standard of citizenship for all” policy we’ve seen in previous elections? Yup, absolutely. Well, that’s been the standard policy, we think all New Zealanders should be treated equally irrelevant of race or religion. I think needs-based funding is absolutely the way to go – I mean, if you’ve got an obesity issue, it may be more heavily skewed say in the Maori or Pacific Island community, but you wouldn’t want to have a programme that missed out Pakeha New Zealanders that were overweight. That’s our approach. What would you like to see happen with the Student Loan scheme? We’ve got to take back to our caucus the final position we take on zero percent student loans. I think it’s fair, if you want to read between the lines, to say that the policy, while we didn’t support it when it was introduced – we were fearful of the fact that it would increase debt, and in a sense we were worried about that because when loans are cheap and easy people might borrow more than they think they might need. And then later on, down the track, they might regret that. But we haven’t seen that happen so far, have we? Yeah, it’s pretty early days. There’ll be a little blowout, but over time there could potentially be more. I mean, we’ve still got over $9 billion in student debt. We fundamentally support the student loan scheme, because it allows universal access to education of a pretty high quality. We will take our position on student loans to our caucus, and I think given 500, 000 people have got it, and it’s part of their lifestyle, they’d be very reluctant to see a change.

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007

Does the National Party have a strategy which would see wages increase to a point that new graduates would not feel the need to go overseas to work? Yes. That would be a fundamental purpose of our Government, to narrow the wage gap between ourselves and Australia, and to grow local wages in New Zealand. And the reason for that is our Brain Drain, as you’re probably aware, is excessive. We’ve now got a million New Zealanders living overseas out of a population of four million, and that’s huge – it’s the largest in the developed world on a per-capita basis. If you compare it to Australia where there are only 800, 000 living overseas out of a population of 20 million you can start to get a sense of the scale. We have a number of ways of achieving [wage increase]; one is certainly a credible programme of personal tax cuts, which will increase after-tax wages, and the second is just growing the capacity of the economy; that’s really just about infrastructure, research and development, skills training, all the things that will add to allowing our economy to grow on a noninflationary basis. And I think lastly just being much more ambitious that New Zealand will be prepared to invest in a heavier rate than Labour, simply because we think that that’s the right long-term decision for the country… TO BE CONTINUED! Tune in next week for the rest of the interview, which includes bombshells like: • • •

John Key’s favourite farm animal! Whether he thinks Bain is guilty or not! And he quacks like a duck (really!)





Ninja dookie back for more action! You ready? If no then your head slice off! Ninja power!




11 12 13




17 18


20 21






Art is the illusion of spontaneity.


Be first to bring you completed wordfind to Nexus! Win free DVD rental from Auteur House (555 Victoria St). It very good! NAME:







If you have ninja joke, please send to email link above and if I like then I put in! If not then I send ninjas to kill you. Yes!




Ninja dookie bring more things for you to do. if you have like of things to do then please send message via nexus@waikato. and say love to those things.


ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007

ACROSS 5. Occuring suitably (6) 7. Plant genus (8) 9. Set off (8) 10. Completely (Latin) (2,4) 11. Lowest class accomodation (7,5) 13. A tool (6) 15. Fair and just (6) 18. European treat (6,6) 21. Apex (6) 22. Aversion (8) 23. To cause a scene (8) 24. Yellow fruit (6) DOWN 1. Appeal (8) 2. Circumnavigate (6) 3. Fragile (8) 4. Insect (6) 6. Frozen sweet (3,5) 7. Motivate (6) 8. A miniscule amount (4) 12. Forever (8) 14. Germ-free (8) 16. Rust Pans (anagram) (8) 17. Crooked (6) 18. Demobilise (6) 19. Nonmalignant growths (6) 20. Mentor (4)

1 9 8 3 6 2 7 4 9

4 6 1 3 2 5 8 4

1 7 3 2 3 6

What did the man say to his friend?! Nothing! Their heads were sliced off by ninja! HAHA!


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By Chef Cyril

Vodka Pasta

This week: Groupies and Sycophants

Before you get too excited about this heading, let me take you on a downer rollercoaster: it’s the first day of semester and you still haven’t graduated, chances are your degree isn’t as smart sounding as mine (Math and Finance, only beaten by law) and lastly Vodka Pasta isn’t that vodka-filled. But on the plus side, Vodka Sauce on pasta just sounds cool. So let’s begin, you’ll need: Fresh Basil/ Parsley Garlic/Salt/Pepper/Olive Oil ¼ can chopped tomato ½ can tomato puree ¼ cup cream ¼ cup vodka Pinch of flaked pepper 100g prosciutto

you should be growing or stealing this Already in your kitchen 20c 80c 50c you know you have it 30c $5

You’ve never been rogered until you’ve been rogered by Roger Daltrey, according to my good friend and occasional cunnilingual comrade, Miss Cynthia Plastercaster, and for once, I’m inclined to believe her. Rock musicians are the only ones who have ever been able to give my pipes a good cleanout. But I was never a groupie – goodness me, no! To think that I would line up outside the dressing rooms of famous rock and rollers, then to be ushered in and have to orally service four or five roadies before even being allowed into the presence of the band-members, and then having to suffer the further indignity of faking a lesbian romp with a vastly more attractive underage girl in order for the drunken, bloated star to be able to achieve even partial tumescence, and finally to have the fat, smelly drunkard roll on top of me and weakly wet my nylons before passing out!

Obviously that was more than three dollars… I guess, the prosciutto can be replaced with bacon…. But good bacon.

It staggers me that there are legions of young girls who would gladly catch chlamydia from a famous musician before they would consider having a perfectly healthy and satisfying romp with a strapping young lad from their own income bracket.

So firstly, combine the vodka and pepper in a bowl. Leave it to soak together for an hour. Soaking longer will provide a more convincing spice taste, but any earlier will just be a waste of both ingredients. For a spicier taste later on, add more chilli flakes now. At this point, let me stress, try and find good vodka. Throw out your Kristov White and scavenge the floor for remnants of your ‘Back to Uni’ party - at least some Smirnoff Red; but Absolut Peppar is your goal. Give you a dollar if you try tequila.

What is the attraction of fame? Why do we imagine that the semen of a well-known man tastes better than its obscure equivalent? And for that matter, why do we lust after those peculiarly-shaped young ladies with the bony ribcages and enormous heads? Is it simply because they are lusted over by others? Do we want what we cannot have only when everybody else wants it too?

Heat some oil. Try this with either a thick deep pan or a thick pot; a thin one will have you stirring it every three seconds and, just like the puking girl at your party, you don’t want any of that. When the oil is heated, throw in the bacon (you’re so cheap), basil, parsley and garlic (these should all be chopped already). Stir around until the bacon is cooked but not brown. Throw the vodka into the mixture. Although I have not tried it, I would bet tacking a lighter to the picture would be pretty awesome at this point, as cool as when I blew vodka on my fireplace… but with less eyebrow loss. Simmer for ten minutes. Now throw in all the tomato based stuff, add Tomato paste for a stronger taste. Simmer this for 15 minutes. Here you will need a lid, a fair bit of stirring, low heat and absolutely no white clothing… I also would not recommend no clothing. Lastly add in the cream and simmer for another ten minutes. This theoretically goes on pasta, but whatever you do with it… I won’t judge.


If every Tom, Dick and Harry wants something, then far from inciting a similar desire in ourselves, shouldn’t that give us reason to think that the desired thing is not so desirable after all? It is well-known that the wishes of the majority are seldom in its best interest. The masses have a peculiar habit of loudly insisting that they want x, and then when x is given to them, of loudly complaining that it wasn’t x that they wanted in the first place and why are they so oppressed etc etc. In short, no right-thinking person would ever trust the great, stinking and apelike proletariat to determine for him or her what the desirable thing should be, except perhaps in the sense that whatever the common person wants or thinks is desirable is the exact opposite of what actually is desirable. If the badlybred prefer skeletal morons with mineral-gel cushions instead of breasts and expressionless botoxian stares, it follows that what is truly beautiful is a woman with all her original equipment intact; with a lively face and with a good covering of womanflesh. A woman, I might add, rather like me! Next week: The Colonial Armed Forces

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007


Bogan Super Heroes/Villains Okay, so before I was a Bogan I was a geek and, before you ask, I didn’t play Dungeons and Dragons. Actually I lie - I tried it once but got kicked out for taking the piss and it wasn’t for trying to cast a Level 10 Grow Penis. Considering self-disclosure seems to be the name of the game when it comes to this column, some of that geekiness still exists… for instance, the stupid grin on my face as I sat and watched the Transformers movie last night. So anyway, I always loved superheroes and associated villains. I was the little kindergarten kid running round with a cape (towel) round my neck singing the Batman theme tune. One of the things I collect, besides DVDs and CDs, are Marvel figurines. In my little Ph.D cubicle are four of my favourites: Wolverine, Dr Octopus, The Thing and Magneto. Yes I am hanging my head in shame… DON’T JUDGE ME! Anyway, it was as I was looking for distractions, staring at The Thing (not MY thing, THE thing) that I thought up the idea of Bogan Superheroes/Villain. So here we go - the Top 5:

Recently, it was decided to scrap the Anzac Test, so next year’s test (which, by the way, will be played on May 9 – a whole two weeks after Anzac Day) will be the last one. In future, international matches will only be played in the end-of-season window; that is, in October and November. They decided to stick with the test match this year to avoid spoiling Australasian rugby league’s centenary celebrations. The problem with mid-season test matches is there is never enough time for adequate preparation. The team normally gets together only about four days before the game. With a sprinkling of New Zealand players through the majority of NRL sides, players don’t get the same opportunity to build combinations as the Australians. The Kangaroos get more of an opportunity to build combinations during State of Origin as well. For example, the first-string halves combination for Australia, Jonathon Thurston (Cowboys) and Darren Lockyer (Broncos) have played together 9 times in the Queensland State of Origin jersey. The New Zealand halves combination for the 2007 Anzac test, Benji Marshall (Tigers) and Ben Roberts (Bulldogs) had never played together in a position where experience is vital.

The Hulk He’s big, he smashes things, and you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry. Bogan? I think so.

The Thing I know what you’re going to say – “but he’s ginger” - but he was born hard and, again, you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry. He seems to fly into a rage pretty quickly…you’re right, he is ginger.

Ghost Rider This was an obvious one, a biker guy with a flaming skull for a head who kills bad guys in order to protect the innocent. Bogan to the core.

Punisher I didn’t know whether to include this one or not. But considering the number of Metal people I’ve seen wearing Punisher shirts, and given how cool I thought he was when I was a kid, I had to include him. The Punisher skull is actually the “wallpaper” for my cell phone. He is another real tough guy, unshaven, who punished the wicked for their crimes.

Juggernaut Another one of the “I’m a big guy who’s gonna smash you”. No, not one of my old Whangaroa College mates, but another guy with super-strength powers. I’m the Juggernaut Bitch. Yeah I know you’re all sick of that saying but I had to say it.


In recent years, the Anzac rugby league test matches have been embarrassing to the Kiwi side. Last year, Australia thrashed New Zealand 50-12 and this year’s encounter was also pretty one-sided, with a final scoreline of 30-6. But this was back on April 20, or 80 days ago by the time you read this. So why am I writing about this now?

Also recall the farcical circumstances involved in the Kiwis midyear test last year in Great Britain. The Roosters were guilty of double-standards when they let Great Britain’s Adrian Morley go to play the match but never released New Zealand’s Iosia Soliola. So this cancellation of Anzac tests is a blessing for the Kiwis. At the end of the year, they always perform much better, winning the 2005 Tri-Nations title after beating Australia 24-0 in the final in Leeds and only losing last year’s title decider because of a Lockyer try in golden-point extra time. The Kiwis have been more than competitive in that timeslot. Every year, people on this side of the Tasman got excited about the prospect of the first test match of the year only to be disappointed by the one-sidedness of the match in the Kangaroos favour. In coming years, that will not happen, even though it will mean less test rugby league.

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Dear Agony Art My ex-girlfriend, who said she wanted to be my friend after we broke up, has been telling people I’m shit in bed. What’s the best way I can get her back (short of murder). Enraged in Edgecumbe Dear Enraged I’ve heard this story a million times. A girl can tell everyone that a guy has a small dick, is shit in bed, finishes off in twenty seconds, but as soon as you say that same girl has stretch marks, sweats like a pig at Christmas or is a fatty, you’re public enemy number one. This means your path to revenge will have to be something a bit more complex than calling some bitter ex-girlfriend fat and smelly. So go to her house, get into her fridge and get a hold of her margarine. Scoop out all of the margarine and save it for later. Now, lay a steamer in the empty margarine container and then cover it with the margarine. I heard about this happening a few years ago and no one found out for weeks, during which time they had been using the margarine. Now, there are a lot of adaptations you can make on this particular revenge, but at the end of the day who really wants to find a crap at the bottom of their margarine? Not me, that’s for sure. If this a bit too crass for you then just ignore it. The question you should be asking yourself is this: Does it really matter what anyone else thinks? You have fun when you’re rooting, so you definitely shouldn’t worry about what a fat, smelly girl thinks. Dear Agony Art Every time I have sex with my girlfriend she starts to cry afterwards. I need your help! Ralph Malph Dear Ralph Malph I think it’s pretty obvious what the cause of your girlfriends crying is. Well, maybe not that obvious. There are a couple of options however. One way you might want to look at it is you’re really awful in bed. Maybe you are so bad that it breaks her heart to realise that she’s just lost some time from her life and she can’t get it back. It’s five minutes of sweaty hell and she can’t stop thinking that that’s time she could have spent surfing on Bebo or shopping or whatever it is that girls do these days. The second way you can look at it (and also the way you probably will) is this: you’re so awesome in bed that your girlfriend cries because she knows that she’ll never have another sexual experience like you. Every guy she sleeps with after you will pale in comparison. But the reason I like to think of why your ‘girlfriend’ cries after sex is that she’s not your girlfriend at all, just some migrant worker you have tied up in your basement. You make me sick. Burn in Hell you sick fuck


Greetings fellow Waikatoillians, its been a while since you last got a chance to read my meaningless garbage, and as the old saying goes: “the more that changes, the more that stays the same”. There are three things that have really had an impact on the mobile phone and my world, and so for the first article of the semester I just want to quickly jot down some randomly assembled words: Telecom has announced that they are moving from CDMA to GSM, meaning virtually nothing for you. In a few years, you’ll buy a new phone, use it and love it until the battery refuses to charge. Thats about all that will change. It’s not as big a deal as the media made it out to be. Because Telecom is reusing the 025 frequencies it already licences, and these frequencies are much different to any existing GSM network, you probably won’t be able to change the SIM cards of most phones and be able to swap networks. Apple shoved the iPhone out the door, to the great excitement of Apple fanboys. It’s pretty and does a few nifty things, but the really important bit is that with all the hype it has so far lived up to, it now has the power to bring down service charges, especially mobile internet. Think about this, how would you like to have your email, Bebo, MySpace, MSN etc., with you wherever you are? Cool idea, except it currently costs too much. AT&T had to create a special flat-rate unlimited plan just for the iPhone, because it was so internet-laden. If other providers around the world want to support the iPhone, they will have to follow suit. Microsoft has decided to send your very own university’s Team Ackermen (Jonathan Stitchbury, Dacre Denny, Beverley Rogers and myself) to Seoul for a week. The Imagine Cup is an annual event where teams around the world compete, however we are the first team to come from New Zealand. Cool, huh? So ya, welcome to Semester B. Fun times ahead!

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007




We had a survey running from issue 12 and there was a competition involved for some sweet prizes provided by Hillcrest Liquor King. These are the prizes, to jog your memory: $10 Liquor King Voucher (5 available) 4pk Smirnoff Double Black & Cola (5 available) 750ml Asti Riccadonna Wine (5 available) And now for the list of winners. The winners have already been emailed their confirmation emails so if they could print out the emails we sent and come up to the Nexus office (Student Union building) we will then administer the prizes. Oooh! Sounds so official! Thanks again to Hillcrest Liquor King for supplying the rad prizes. Go buy some Scrumpies from them and confess your love for Nexus and Liquor King! Do it! If you still want to do the survey and don’t care about not having prizes, visit . Most appreciated!


ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007

Ryan Beale Marama Mayrick Adrian Brannigan Gareth Coakley John Rapana Christie Thompson Jean McKenzie Rhea Nelis Rebecca (rjj) Gavin (gmb) Bella (bmw) Darri Neilson Jacob Lawson JP Hawkes Bones


Out of the Blue DIRECTOR: Robert Sarkies STARRING: Karl Urban and Brian

I now know that if I had I would have been terrified if I knew that kids my age were being shot in New Zealand. It is a disturbing film, but it is a necessary film. People will argue that it’s not, that this film is just more film makers making a quick buck on other people’s tragedies. Those people obviously haven’t seen United 93 and World Trade Centre. Aramoana happened seventeen years ago and I feel we need this film to remind ourselves of what New Zealanders are capable of both extreme good and extreme evil.

Tamaki’s not so evil twin REVIEWED BY ART ROBINSON Whenever a New Zealand film comes out, the film-watching public and critics alike split into two opposite camps. One side will rubbish the movie, simply because it doesn’t look as shiny or as expensive as a Hollywood blockbuster. The other side will back the film to the hilt, also because it is from New Zealand. And isn’t it lovely to see our faces and our accents on screen? Out of the Blue, however, is a movie I don’t think anyone could hate. It is a deeply disturbing and highly accurate look at New Zealand’s worst mass murder, so some people may not be eager to watch it simply because of the subject matter. Thirteen New Zealanders were shot in the small, South Island town of Aramoana, just outside of Dunedin. Children were shot in their own home. Grandparents were killed as they tried to find out what was happening. I was seven when this went on and I don’t remember hearing about it.

As far as special features goes, this DVD comes out with top marks. It has the actual Channel 3 News stories from the days around the incident. It has a very interesting interview with the director and writer about the process of making the movie. A lot of the people who lived in Aramoana 17 years ago apparently still live there and they enforced a rewrite of several parts of the film, in order to improve accuracy. I wonder if the ending scene with the police shooting the gunman and then standing around for a cigarette while he slowly dies of his wounds was a part of the rewrite, because it sure isn’t historical by any source I can find. This is in my top three New Zealand movies of all time, if not my top, and if you can bear the subject matter I highly, highly recommend you go and get your hands on it.

New bar and venue opens! Hamilton is finally starting to live up to its old “Where It’s Happening” slogan. Two young lads named Sam Walsh and Adam “Pads” McKay have recently taken over a bar on Ward Street, which used to be called The Castle, and are attempting to breathe new life into the Hamilton music and art scene by using this space to create a new venue, now called the Yellow Submarine. It’s hoped that Yellow Submarine will be a community driven and supported hub of music, art and entertainment. “We want the Yellow Submarine to be known as everyone’s space rather than just ‘those two dudes doing their own shit’. It’s for everyone, this place - no matter what music you listen to, what kind of thing you like - it’s for everyone.”


The Yellow Submarine has only been open for roughly two weeks and already has events booked into September. “From here to August it’s pretty much every single weekend. I think with all the crap that’s happening with venues and stuff in Hamilton, people started thinking that this is just a lost cause, but it’s not,” says Sam Walsh, part-owner of the Yellow Submarine. Aside from being an R18 live music venue that serves alcoholic drinks, the Yellow Submarine has plans that involve hosting all ages shows, art gallery events, parties, theme nights, serving as a band practice space, and not to mention still retaining the pool table and karaoke rooms from the previous proprietors. With a huge space located beneath Centreplace, Sam and Adam basically have a massive venue on their hands, which is quite literally underground. But they don’t want the bar to be too exclusive.

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007

“If anyone wants to use the space for anything, we’re completely open to ideas. It’s our venue and stuff but we don’t want to be just us controlling everything.” The Yellow Submarine will be hosting a couple of fundraising shows to help cover costs spent on establishing the venue. The first show will be on Friday, July 13 and will feature bands such as Rumpus Room, The Braxton Hicks, Bear Cat, Kitty Hawk, Infinite Flying Kick, and others. The second show will be on Friday, July 27 and feature performances from the likes of The Vacants, The Deadly Deaths, Yokel Ono, MC Stormtroopa, to name but a few. If you’d like to make enquiries to the Yellow Submarine, then email:




with Captain Ahab

Reviewed by Captain Ahab

Yarr, maties. It’s been a while since the last Citric. Unfortunately, the cold winter months have put a damper on almost everything musical and/or fun. Good news on the Hamilton venue front though. Everyone’s favourite recently-closed bar/live music venue, The Castle, has reopened under new management and with a new name: Yellow Submarine. I’ve not been along to see it yet, so I do not know if it is actually yellow. It is definitely subterranean, if not sub-marine. In any case, it’s good to have another venue to play host to regular live music. The management are holding a couple of benefit shows this month. Check out the event guide (page 37) for exact dates. The Shins are making a NZ stop in their world tour during August. The $65 ticket price has led some to ask “who on earth are The Shins?” This week should provide an exciting host of Re-Orientation activities, including The Black Seeds at Bahama Hut on Wednesday. I am particularly looking forward to seeing local support band The Deadly Deaths play at Bahama Hut. Apparently Dynamo Go have shuffled their line-up yet again, adding another guitarist. By our count, this takes the total number of members to just under a thousand. Hamilton’s “real metal band” Utu are doing something in the World Battle of the Bands competition. I have no idea what it is, but I know I’m excited. By the time this goes to press, we will already be well on the road to finding the amazing band that will surely win this competition. I mean, any contest that has judges who suggest that all-female rock bands “ditch the instruments” and “dance more” has got to be good, right? It’s official: The Cure are coming to NZ in August! Why you should be excited about this is left as an exercise to the reader. Following in the footsteps of fellow Aucklanders, Cut Off Your Hands, mope-rockers Kill Surf City are changing their name to plain ol’ Surf City. Apparently someone else thought to rip off the name from Jesus and Mary Chain’s b-side first. Know any rumours, gossip or goings-on? Drop me a line,

Icky Thump is a strange beast. It remains firmly in the same realm as 2005’s Get Behind Me Satan, although with less of the country-tinged piano-pop that marked a departure from earlier works. Icky Thump opens with a frenetic synth-workout, and doesn’t get any less eclectic as it meanders through a chorus of mandolins, bagpipes and the usual White Stripes guitar riff-o-rama. The songs are really not as strong, collectively and individually, as those from previous albums. Very little about Icky Thump really stays with you. You certainly won’t find yourself humming the strange discordant synthesizer lines to yourself days later. Nothing on this album sticks out as the next Seven Nation Army or My Doorbell. That said, it is an interesting album, full of varying textures and melodic elements. I think most White Stripes fans will love this album, but perhaps for a different reason than the previous releases.

Poison of Ages 8 FOOT SATIVA Reviewed by BURTON C. BOGAN 8 Foot Sativa, one of the few New Zealand Heavy Metal bands to gain some sort of commercial (if not somewhat limited) success, are finally back with a new album! The eagerly awaited fourth studio album, with only one of the original members still there, has finally arrived (although Brent still does the bass tracks on the album). But what’s the verdict? I’ve been trying to avoid comparisons with previous albums and band members but I can’t help it, and I’m guessing that people are going to want to know. First off, as I usually pay the most attention to vocals, Ben Read does an excellent job – as do the other members. Musically this is very much 8 Foot Sativa and continues on in the same vein as the other albums do. Comparing it to the other albums it stands up very well, but I still have to say that the first 8 Foot album is still the best. My stand out tracks of the album would probably be The Great Western Cliff-Hanger and For the Birds. Definitely worth a buy, particularly if you enjoyed their previous efforts.

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ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007


Wild Latitudes BARBERA ELSE

Ripples on the Lake DAWN ROTARANGI

Reviewed by BRIE JESSEN

Reviewed by LEAH GRAHAM

Wild Latitudes is the sixth novel from New Zealand author Barbara Else. It tells the story of Adele Overend, an 18 year old girl who finds herself mysteriously cast upon a seemingly deserted shore. Her last memory before finding herself on the rugged beach is of dining with the captain and other distinguished guests aboard the Yorkshire Witch, the ship which was taking her from her home in England to the ‘new Eden’ of New Zealand. With no recollection of how she came to be washed up upon the shore, Adele must find her own way. Self-possessed, determined, practical and, of course, beautiful, Adele is sure that finding her own way will be no problem.

This magical novel was written by Dawn Rotarangi, a fourth-generation New Zealand European who has traveled extensively and had numerous interesting careers overseas. She has now returned to New Zealand and married into a family of Tuwharetoa, Tuhoe and Raukawa descent and settled outside Taupo in Mangakino. Dawn Rotarangi has managed to weave details from her varied earlier careers as well as her impressive knowledge of the history of the Taupo area as well as an in-depth understanding of local Maori history and mythology into the fabric of this gripping story.

Wild Latitudes is set in the mid-nineteenth century predominantly in gold-rush frenzied Dunedin. With an unlikely cast of characters, and a large dose of adventure, this novel made for an interesting read. It has everything from brothels, a mental asylum, cross-dressers, scientists, cruel doctors, shipwreck to murder. Despite such an unusual array of topics, the novel was surprisingly cohesive. It was well-written and easy to read. While I enjoy historical fiction, I have found it hard to find a well-written and plausible work about colonial New Zealand. I had hoped that this book might provide such a thing, but I was disappointed. Wild Latitudes seemed just a little too far-fetched. However, that’s not to say it wasn’t a good book. I certainly enjoyed it. The story is told in first person from the perspective of a much older Adele looking back on her unusual arrival and subsequent experiences in New Zealand. While the book remains in this voice for the most part, occasionally we find it switching to 18-year-old-Adele, or to third person when taking about Adele’s brother Godwin. This narrative strategy could have turned out to be incredibly annoying; fortunately for the reader, Else has made it work. All in all, I think that the best word to describe this book is eclectic; combining a range of literary styles from pseudoShakespearean to Victorian with a dash of contemporary thrown in for good measure. Wild Latitudes is vivacious and shrewd, yet at times sweet and tender. If you are after an easy but good read, then I would recommend Wild Latitudes. In terms of it being an accurate historical fiction - take that with a grain of salt.


This novel is centred around the four Delaney sisters and their troubled younger brother Billy, who is following in the footsteps of their gambling, jockey father Lucky Del Delaney who hanged himself 10 years earlier. Because of the family history of horse racing and gambling the Delaney girls are a very superstitious bunch whose family god is Lady Luck. Billy brings disaster to the family when he steals coins from a rock in Lake Taupo to pay for a burger after a big loss at the races. These coins are tokens left for the spirits of the dead Maori women and children massacred there by a rival tribe, and are protected by the spirit of Tama Ariki, a great warrior and leader of the murdered tribe. The atrocity that occurred at this place renders it Tapu and Billy’s trespass and theft from this sacred site incurs the wrath of the great Tama Ariki. No one in Billy’s family is safe until the spirits are appeased. Within hours of the theft of these coins Billy gets his hand crushed and his young niece is hit by a car and lies in hospital fighting for her life. Billy’s oldest sister Saffron in convinced of the nature of Billy’s error when she touches the coins and has a vision of the terror and bloodshed that the coins are linked to. What ensues is a supernatural tale of breaking Tapu and appeasing ancient spirits. This novel is very well written and the supernatural and mystical aspects of the story are balanced by the author’s clear and accurate depiction of local Taupo life. The Maori history and mythology in this book are dealt with in a sensitive and accurate way which is a redit to the author. This book is well worth reading, but be prepared to devote a few hours to this one as it is extremely difficult to put down!

ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007


Ocean’s 13 SKY CITY CINEMAS REVIEWED BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON What’s the point of Ocean’s 13? Eye candy for aging ER fans or for those who thought three hours of Matt Damon in The Good Shepherd still leaves him underexposed for the year? A mild nostalgic buzz for folk old enough to remember the 60s, when Elliot Gould was more famous than his then wife Barbara Streisand? The opportunity for Al Pacino to bellow his way to another big pay cheque, driving further nails into the coffin of subtle expression? I could go on. Haven’t even mentioned the debatable delights involved in resurrecting a fifty something Ellen Barkin’s sex symbol reputation. Or a strangely unflattering close up that director Steven Soderbergh affords us of eighty five year old Carl Reiner’s liver spot ridden bald pate. If I were to attempt a justification for the film’s existence it would involve a wider appreciation of Soderbergh’s career. He seems to alternate between making commercial embarrassments like Ocean’s 13 and more experimental exercises that range from the pleasantly stylish Out of Sight to the outright avant-garde Schizopolis. Perhaps the ‘Ocean’s trilogy’ is best thought of as a cash cow to provide funds for Soderbergh’s artistic endeavours. That said, Ocean’s 13 plunges new depths. All the novelty has gone. The A-list female talent of Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones have also abandoned ship, leaving the increasingly middle or late aged boys to it. Not that Messers Clooney and Pitt have run out of star wattage. Or that Soderbergh - who does his own cinematography - lacks for ideas about how to make Las Vegas visually interesting. It’s just that the revenge plot that gets the old ‘crew’ back together seems entirely contrived and the pacing lamentably flat. For a caper film or thriller there is a strange lack of set pieces or sequences that generate anything that even approximates suspense. Unless the very sight and charisma of the headline names are sufficient to raise one’s pulse there is precious little to get excited about. The plot twists are obvious and the comedy mild to pointless.

Howard Hawks is one of the cornerstones of American cinema. Some Golden Age directors might have made bloodier gangster films, some funnier screwball comedies, or more heartfelt war films. Undoubtably many made more tuneful musicals. One friend and rival - John Ford - is more closely associated with the western. But no artist achieved so consistently across so many diverse genre as Hawks. Hawks’ auteurist interest in professionals and professionalism transcended generic boundaries. In some ways this is seen most clearly in those works which don’t obviously fit into any of the categories listed above, in his pure ‘adventure’ or sports films. A movie like Only Angels Have Wings isn’t really a war film or a romantic drama though it contains elements of both. It’s a study in codes of behaviour, examining the way of life of a group of aviators who risk everything to deliver mail. Like another famous drinking buddy and contemporary, Ernest Hemingway, Hawks revealled instances of ‘grace under pressure’, clearly and directly presenting action scenes less concerned with action per se than with how men display character when challenged by circumstance. Hawks and his longtime collaborator John Wayne were so incensed at the behaviour of Gary Cooper’s sheriff in High Noon that they responded with a western classic of their own, Rio Bravo. What bothered both about the Cooper vehicle is how the lawman looked for help in the wider town community when facing up against an external threat. To beg for assistance from amateurs was not the hallmark of a Hawksian male; even if one’s code had been sullied or diluted (usually through the meddling of an unprincipled woman), and solace sort in drink, the professional was always a superior and special breed. John Wayne was but one actor whose career was shaped by Hawks. Cary Grant gave his two best comedic performances under the director’s guidance - Bringing Up Baby and His Girl Friday - as well as demonstrating a more stoic side in the aforementioned Angels. Humphrey Bogart was seldom better than in two Hawksian literary adaptations, Hemingway’s To Have and Have Not and Chandler’s The Big Sleep. Not that Hawks was less adept at directing actresses. He was particularly skilled at developing new talent. Marilyn Monroe was seen to good advantage in Monkey Business before blossoming in Gentleman Prefer Blondes. Angie Dickinson was never so sexy as in Rio Bravo. And there has not been a more celebrated debut than Lauren Bacall in To Have and Have Not. All of the above listed titles are available for hire at Auteur House.

Let’s hope Soderbergh and co are true to their word and that the world will not have to endure Ocean’s 14.


ISSUE 13 3 JULY 2007



GIGS Monday Expect to spend most of today queueing for your B Semester course readings and textbooks you’ll never open after the second week of semester. No gigs for you, buddy. Oh, and you might want to pack a lunchbox, those lines will get lonnnnnnnng. At night is the Extreme Quiz night at Don Llewellyn’s. Beers specials and prizes!

Wednesday The Black Seeds, The Deadly Deaths and Cosmic Ska Child at Bahama Hut. It’s part of Re-Orientation, so grab your tickets from the WSU office for $20 (or $35 for non-students). Door sales, if tickets are available, from 8pm.

Thursday Re-Orientation brings Comedy Night to Don Llewellyn’s. Ten bucks gets you Steve Wrigley, Cory Gonzalez-Macuer, Mrs Peacock and Simon McKinney from 8pm.

Independent Broadcasting Community – Annual General Meeting The IBC, which oversees the management of Contact 88.1FM, will be holding its Annual General Meeting at the University of Waikato. A quorum of 30 students is required. Nominations and voting will take place at the meeting. This is a great opportunity to get involved in Contact FM and have a say in how it is run. Sunday 15th July at 6pm, in Guru’s Lounge, Student Union Building at the University of Waikato. $10 annual membership subscription payable on the night. For further details, email contact@ Contact 88.1 FM


30 Easy Pieces

Get to the Village Green at uni this afternoon because Friday the 13th might be your lucky day. Practice your pizzaeating and sporting skills, and fame, fortune and free beer could be yours. Live music performances also supplied.

A fundraising event for new space, Ariki Gallery. 30 kindly donated pieces of art selling for $30 apiece with live music by Dick Dynamite and the Dopplegangers. Opening night fundraising event Friday 27 July at 5.30pm, with the exhibition in place until Friday 3 August. Free entry. Ariki Gallery, 555 Victoria St (upstairs, next to Auteur House).

Bear Cat, Braxton Hicks, Infinite Flying Kick, Decortica, Rumpus Room, Kitty Hawk, The DHDFDs and Kimbra play a giant benefit show to kick-start Hamilton’s latest venue The Yellow Submarine (where The Castle used to be, on Ward Street). It’s only $10 for a huge night of bands.

Coming up The Shins, Bob Dylan, Bloc Party and heaps of other big names are hitting a certain city to the North. THE SHINS

SUBMISSIONS, PROPOSALS AND FUNDING OPPORTUNITIES Funding Workshop Community Group looking for funding? Want to make successful applications? Come to our friendly ‘hands on’ one day workshop. Lunch provided. Registrations essential. Thursday 19 July from 9am to 3pm. Cost $20. To be held at St Peter’s Cathedral Hall, 55 Victoria Street, Hamilton. For more information or to register, contact the Department of Internal Affairs on 07 839 9960

ArtsPost Call for Proposals ArtsPost Galleries are now calling for all visual artists interested in exhibiting in 2008 to submit proposals. This is an opportunity for both emerging and established artists to exhibit in our three gallery spaces. Our intention is to have the exhibition calendar aligned with major events in the city, where possible. Submissions close 27th July. For more info contact ArtsPost Galleries on 07 838 6554

Raku Pottery Firing A day of Raku for everyone, experienced or beginners, pots available for glazing and firing or bring your own. Glazes provided. For those who have never participated in this form of pottery firing an experience not to be missed. Exhibit your pots after firing in the weird and wacky visual art exhibition. Saturday 1 September from 10.30am to 4.00pm. Cost $20. Weird and Wacky Visual Art Exhibition, 2264 Hautapu Rd, Cambridge.

Hamilton Underground Film Festival 2007 The Hamilton Underground Film Festival is inviting submissions of short experimental films. Categories include abstract, experimental, animation and more. The festival last year had a great array of films with both nights selling out so look forward to the three night festival being planned for September. Visit the HUFF website for more info. Submissions close 1st August.

Got any funny Busted! pictures of you and your friends out in town or getting totally busted you want to share with us? Send ‘em to before Thursday 5 PM for the next issue of Nexus.

issue 13  

13 9 JULY 2007 See us on campus for all your Student Stationery needs We'll give you the service you deserve! Bennetts is able to offer quot...

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