issue 0

www.nexusmag.co.nz

23 February 2009

RAVE & SAVE! Check out o’week with Liquor King!

• Tastings and activities all week long • Look out for the LK team on campus this week • Don’t forget to pick up a Student Card for exclusive offers • Come and see the Red Bull Hummer on Thursday 5th March and test your Playstation skills - prizes to be won!

2 FOR

$14

Wild Poppy Brut Cuvee NV 750ml

Waikato Draught 15 pk 330ml btls

Smirnoff Red Vodka 1L & Red Bull 4 pk 250ml cans

McKenna Bourbon & Cola 8% 12 pk 250ml cans

$9.99ea

$15.99

$32.99

$17.99

DAILY SPECIALS MONDAY - Waikato 15 pk 330ml btls $15.99 or 2 for $30

THURSDAY - Smirnoff Vodka 1L & Red Bull 4pk - $29.99

TUESDAY - Vault Vodka Range 12pk 330ml btls - $14.99

FRIDAY - Jose Cuervo Margaritas RTD 700ml - $9.99

WEDNESDAY - Diesel Bourbon & Cola 5% 12pk 330ml btls - $14.99

SATURDAY -Smirnoff Dbl Blk 7% 10pk 335ml btls - $19.99

Only available at: Liquor King Hillcrest Cnr Clyde & York Sts, Hamilton.

Monday-Wednesday open till 10pm and Thursday-Saturday until 11pm Valid until 8th March 2009. While stocks last. We reserve the right to limit quantities. Trade not supplied. All major credit cards accepted. Excludes all other promotions & discounts.

YORK

ST E ST PAGE CLYD PL

0800 455 347

3.Contents 4.Editorial 5.Low 5 6.Prez’s Welcome 9.Event guide

14.Passport 19.Comedy Guff 20.O’week schedule 22.Clubs Day 24.Uni Map Pull out 26.Band Interviews 31.Nexus Guide 33.Contact Disorientation 34.WSU Profiles 37.Puzzle Page

Joshua Drummond (Editor) Email: nexus@waikato.ac.nz Also: editor@nexusmag.co.nz Tony Arkell (Advertising) Email: admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz Talia Kingi (Graphics) Email: graphics@nexus-npl.co.nz

Nexus Contact Details Phone: 07 838 4653 Fax: 07 838 4588 Email: nexus@waikato.ac.nz Postal Address Nexus Magazine Private Bag 3059 Hamilton

Grant Burns (news) Email: news@nexus-npl.co.nz

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Welcome to the ASB Orientation Week 2009!

Nexus, the Waikato Students Union (WSU) and ASB Bank are proud to present the Orientation Week at Waikato University for 2009.

For many of you, O’week will be your first taste of University – and hopefully it’ll form some of your favourite memories of University life. Uni is a lot of study, mostly, but during O’week you can forget about that, and concentrate on having the biggest blast possible.

The WSU has gone all out to make sure that the Waikato University campus holds as many events as possible for students, but there’s plenty going on elsewhere as well.

Most of the bars in Hamilton will be doing something O’week related for students, and specials can be found at hundreds of stores and other places.

This year, the Waikato Campus will see a full week of Student Olympics, music from local bands and DJs around the clock, tonnes of game shows, (including ZM’s take on the hit show “Distraction,” with CASH PRIZES) a hypnotist, a showing

of cult favourite film the Rocky Horror Picture Show, clubs day, a bunch of random competitions and activities, the Burgerfuel Body Painting Competition (MOAR cash prizes!), and to top it all off, favourite Kiwi bands dDub and Katchafire headlining the Thursday night openair concert on the Village Green.

So, if you want to know more, make sure you check out Nexus magazine (on the red newsstands from Monday 2nd March) see a O’week Volunteer, a WSU Director, or simply come up to WSU Reception in the WSU building (SUB) for details. They’ll be more than happy to help you out.

There’s something for everyone during O’week, so make sure you get out and get amongst it. See you there.

Love, Nexus and the WSU.

1. What’s the best part about O’Week?

2. Who’s your favourite band coming to O’Week?

3. O’Week bar of choice?

4. What would be your team name if you entered the student olympics?

5. Tell us a joke 1. Everything 2. Katchafire 3. The one I get allowed in to 4. The 5ft Giants 5. Q: What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A: They both like a tight seal

1. The music 2. Katchafire, The Exiles 3. Sekure, Loft 4. The White Sunburnt Unicorns (WSU) 5. Q: Why is divorce so expensive?

A: Because it’s worth it!

1. The end 2. dDub 3. Furnace 4. Poke you in the Eye team 5. Q: What’s worse than a cardboard box?

A: Paper boobs!

1. The bands 2. Katchafire 3. Axces 4. The I Hate Britney team 5. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Because breasts don’t have eyes

1. The new first years – delicious!

2. Katchafire, because I seem to remember them using a lion’s head logo at some stage 3. The Outback, for the freshest and youngest tender morsels!

4. The Pride Lands 5. Roar!

Why hello there Welcome to Orientation 2009, welcome to A semester, and if you’re a newbie welcome to the beginning of the rest of your life. Whilst academics will talk to you about a level of higher learning and increased

Step three: Education. With all of the various social and cultural events going on it’s easy to forget why we’re here. Education is a journey that we all have chosen to take what experiences you take out of it is up

knowledge, I would say that the most extraordinary thing that you will get from this environment is lifelong friends, exposure to a diverse range of talented people from every corner of the planet and a sense of growth and achievement that will inspire you to greater things. That is, if you involve yourself.

to you. However remember that the WSU your student voice is here to walk or run that journey with you.

Step one: Orientation. We have designed an Orientation that allows participation for all. A wide range of activities could see you rocking at Katchafire through to having a go at the many games held on the Village Green.

Well that’s about it for now, I will get all political on you some other time

So people, the moral of this week’s korero is play safe, stay safe and get into it…. not out of it.

Mauri ora

Ben Delaney Step two: Integration. Get to know others, friendships and support networks are important as you navigate your way through papers. It is also an important time of year for those starting in new flats. A flat can be a supportive environment but don’t forget to make it fun.

President president@wsu.org.nz

Things you need to know about Construction. You will be able to notice there is a large amount of construction happening on site, the banks/shops will be fully finished in April. The construction of our new student hub (still needing a better name) is on track to be completed by 2011. While construction is going on please be careful while navigating your way to and from class.

Feedback. There will be many changes going on within the University as it reshapes. It is important for us to know how this is affecting you, the students. Feel free to contact us if you have any queries.

Newspapers. This semester will see the trial of free Waikato Times every day for students on campus. Please take the opportunity to grab a free paper.

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Sports. Uni Games is fast approaching keep a look out for registration info. Team numbers are limited, so get in quick.

“You will find them wearing yellow and black shirts” Directors These are your elected representatives for your student union. You will find them wearing yellow and black shirts in Orientation week. Come up and say hi we’re a friendly bunch.

LIKE THE BEST VALUE TERTIARY PACK IN TOWN… …stacked with everything you’ll need to cruise through student life. Well, maybe not cruise. There’s stuff like no transaction fees on your everyday banking, and five free TXT banking messages a month for all of 2009. Plus you can apply for a $1,000 interest free overdraft for your first year, and a really low rate MasterCard with a $500 limit and no annual account fee in your first year.

one of tw o aweso for you me part and 20 m ies a food an d a band tes with beer, o (from a f list of th your choice ree min groups) t .

Plus, as a Kiwibank customer, you’ll have the chance to win free prizes and access to the latest music at kiwibankconnector.co.nz where there’s heaps of info about the best gigs near you, to help you survive uni in style.

Oh, and the stylish six-piece coaster set

on the back of this ad. So, if you ever manage to ‘borrow’ enough glasses for the flat, you’ll have something flash to put them on.

;A>E 69

8=DE DJI 8D6HI:GH

EA68: I6HIN 7:K:G6<: DC 8D6HI:G

For more info call 0800 226 543 or check out kiwibank.co.nz/tertiarypack.

Terms and conditions for Kiwibank’s ‘Win a Party’ promotion are available at www.kiwibank.co.nz. The promotion runs between 1 February 2009 and 31 March 2009. Service fees may apply. To be eligible for the Tertiary Pack, you must be studying full or part-time at a New Zealand University, Polytech or NZQA approved place of study for a minimum of one year. You must consent to receiving emails and texts from Kiwibank about great new offers and promotional stuff (without an unsubscribe facility). You can unsubscribe at any time by calling 0800 226 543.

To be eligible for a Kiwibank Low Rate MasterCard or interest free overdraft, you need to be aged 18 or over, be a New Zealand resident and have any income paid into your Kiwibank account. Kiwibank Limited’s Disclosure Statement is available from your local Kiwibank or at www.kiwibank.co.nz. Your mobile service provider may charge you TXT messaging costs for using TXT banking. Registration for TXT banking is free. TXT banking is not available on all accounts.

Ogilvy/KB0458/R Ogilvy/KB0458/R

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Tip of the Day Quickly, turn to page 15! … hopefully, you have remembered to turn back here to read the rest of this tip. The tip is: see page 15? That’s your O’week Passport! This wonderful little document is designed to be cut out, folded up and carried with you to all the WSU O’week events. Get the passport stamped at the appropriate locations, and go into the draw to win awesomely outrageous VIP prizes!

WSU Olympics Your excitable host AJ runs the first round of the WSU Olympics, which will see participants scoffing as much delicious(?) Dominoes pizza as possible. Form a team and come along – there are great prizes and immortal glory for winners

other meat (vegetarian option available for non-dead-animal-eaters,) sponsored proudly by the Liquor King himself, who we are assured will be there in person!** WHEN: Kicks off around 12:15pm WHERE: Held on Campus Village Green

ZM Distraction WHEN: Kicks off around 11:30 WHERE: Held on Campus Village Green

Sekure / Loft DJ From Hamilton’s premier dance and beats nightclub comes a pretty damn decent DJ to keep you moving on the Village Green all day.

Look at the sun, shut your eyes, wave your hands in front of the burning sun and pretend you’re in a swanky nightclub!* WHEN: Kicks off around 12:15pm WHERE: Held on Campus Village Green

Liqour King BBQ What does this event entail? Meat! Delicious dead animals! Come get your sausage and/or

Based on the hit TV show, “Distraction” will see contestants attempting to answer questions while being DISTRACTED! Hone your ADD skills for early morning lectures and come along for some rather decent CASH! prizes WHEN: Kicks off around 1pm WHERE: Held on Campus Village Green

WSU Games of Doom “Quick fire games with small prize packs” What are these? We have no idea! That’s why they’re called the Games of Doom! We assume from the name that they will be games of some kind. Games… that involve Doom.

Possibly the video game. Check it out.

WHEN: Happening all day WHERE: Held all over campus

Hypnotist Guy Cater

Enjoy the antics of mesmerised students who have been befuddled into doing the most bizarre things! Or be hypnotised yourself! We are told hypnotists can get you drunk without needing to drink any alcohol at all – make sure you ask for this special service!

WHERE: Held on Campus Village Green (or in PWC if it rains) WHEN: 6pm Start HOW MUCH: Students Free Entry

*Nexus takes no responsibility for idiots who actually do this and go blind. **Lies.

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WSU Olympics

Liquor King BBQ

AJ’s shenanigan-laced Olympic charade continues as he leads his teams of intrepid volunteers through… who knows? Hopefully not the Uni Lakes

Experience déjà vu all over again with delicious dead farm animals!

WHEN: around 12:15pm WHERE: Campus Village Green

WHEN: around 11:30 am WHERE: Campus Village Green

Sekure / Loft DJ The DJ’s back and spinning his tunes. Will they be the same, or different, to yesterday’s? Will you even be able to tell the difference? You decide!

WHEN: around 12:15pm WHERE: Held on Campus Village Green

ZM Distraction Ooh! Round 2 of Distraction takes place with even more worrying games! Will you be… DISTRACTED? (Don’t be, or you’ll miss out on the CASH PRIZES!) WHEN: semi 1pm WHERE: @ Campus Village Green

WSU Games of Doom

Tip of the Day Look out for people who look like this: Handing things out that look like this:

Uh-oh! If you didn’t get the chance to compete yesterday, make sure you do today! Here’s an idea; approach the organisers and say “I know you are, but what am I?” It’ll be ever so funny!

WHEN: Happening all day WHERE: Held all over campus

WSU Action Area This is your O’week pack, which contains everything you need (and a few other things) to survive O’week intact. The first item to look out for is the humble condom. This thin, latex, close-ended flexible tube is intended to be worn on the male homo sapien’s erect penis during sexual intercourse. It has the happy side effects of helping prevent pregnancy, STIs, delaying ejaculation long enough for the partner to notice it’s in, and being decorative. Hamilton has a particularly energetic STI population, and newborn babies can be a nuisance nine months down the track when you have exams, so make sure that you either wear a condom (if you’re a bloke) or make the bloke wear a condom (if you’re a bloke’s sexual partner.) Ladies and lesbians: we are informed that a condom, cut down the middle, provides an effective dental dam for oral sex.

The O’week pack also contains a number of other items designed to lubricate your intercourse with the University Experience, so do look out for it.

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WSU Action Area is an area where action is! You get to climb the mobile Rock Wall, courtesy of Rockup Mobile Adventure Activities and get a free Summit Ale (SEE WHAT WE DID THERE LOL) or ride the mechanical surfboard (possibly receiving a glass of seawater) or ride the (notoriously unreliable) Army Unimog to class! Don’t get abducted and drafted – IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME! WHEN: All day WHERE: The Academy of Performing Arts

Comedy Night: Dai Henwood, Ben Hurley and Steve Wrigley Laugh yourself, stupid, at the antics of Dai Henwood (Voted New Zealand’s Stupidest Human Being in Perpetuity by people who dared to watch more than ten minutes of his TV show) and other comic masterminds! (See Page 19 for details.) But seriously? Don’t miss this: it’s well funny, if only to see comedians eviscerate your mates.

WHERE: Held at the Hillcrest Tavern WHEN: Doors open at 6pm, show starts at 7pm HOW MUCH? Students $5 on the door until full.

O’week Tip of the Day If you’re new to Hamilton, you may have heard some unfamiliar terms being bandied about. We’ll teach you their meanings.

Chlamydia Triangle Located in a rough triangle encompassing most of the bars in Hamilton City, this term refers to the fact that having unprotected sex in Hamilton with a stranger is more likely than pretty much any other city in NZ to get you a dose of the Clap. The term doesn’t refer to the Halls of Residence, but it might as well.

Hamiltron As in “Hamiltron, City of the Future.” Also known as Hamilhole, Hamilslum, or The Tron. Ironic label for a city described variously as repressed, regressive, inbred, and/or populated entirely by drones. Of course, this isn’t true. YOU live here, after all. It’s your job to keep things lively. We’ll help.

Bermuda Triangle Describes the unfortunate stretch of land opposite Bryant Hall and Student Village bordered (roughly) by Cameron, Old Farm, and Knighton Roads. If you are unfortunate enough to live in this area your belongings will regularly be sucked into a vortex of pure criminality by the trillions of burglars who treat this area as an all-you-can-steal buffet. The best solution is not to live here. Failing that, get insurance and set man-traps.

The Uni Lakes Broad euphemism for the former cess holes now occupied by monstrous carp and infinity ducks. Terrifyingly, people sometimes fish out of them.

Vice-Chancellor Refers to the Irish plastics engineer who lurks in B-Block, Professor Roy Crawford. His function is, ostensibly, to run the University. In reality he’s a magnet for criticism that should be probably directed at other targets.

Lovely accent. The Chancellor at Waikato is former Prime Minister Jim Bolger. The Chancellor’s job is to be the Chancellor, and that is all. Pure figurehead.

Screen and Media Studies Rather esoteric school in the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences taken by droves of first years suffering from the delusion of being the next Peter Jackson, who will quit en masse when they realise it’s got squat to do with actual filmmaking and a hell of a lot to do with learning how to disguise bullshit with words like “semiotics,” “mise-en-scene” and “avant-garde.”

The Poo Smell Stems from an open drain/sewer near Oranga. Often pointed out, but never fixed. Seen by many as a symbol for Hamilton.

The Wintec Wall Arguably Hamilton’s biggest eyesore, located right in the centre of the city. Ignored for years by the city council, who are in love with the colour scheme “drab.” Art students occasionally try to pretty it up. Best place in the city for a bit of politically conscious graffiti. Seen by many as a symbol for Hamilton.

Clubs Day Today, all the Campus Clubs supported by WSU come out fighting each other to gain your precious memberships. We would like it if they all battled to the death on the Village Green, but instead they mostly host fun events and a tonne of giveaways. There are a tonne of clubs, including dancing, chemistry, drinking, snowboarding and war gaming. Then there is the Mediaeval Club, which, delightfully, actually encourages clubbing each other. With clubs. Clubs are a good way to meet people and develop an interest while at University, so make sure you have a look.

This year’s activities will include • Log-Jousting • Rock-climbing Wall • Skateboard Bowl • Student Olympics • Liquor King BBQ (again) Oh, and Nexus will be there with our coffin full of magazines, encouraging you to JOIN US.

Open Air Movie Night

‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ If you’ve never seen this, good. This is a terrible movie. In fact, it’s so bad it’s wonderful, so you should absolutely see it. The movie is based on the play based on the work of Hamilton icon Richard O’Brien, who was inspired to write a play about a hapless, bland couple trapped in a mansion of freaks by hanging out in Hamilton. The Chlamydia Triangle on a Thursday night should give you some idea how this might have occurred.

WHERE: Held against the Academy of Performing Arts Wall ( to be held in PWC if it rains) WHEN: Welcome from 8.30pm, screening to start approx 9.15pm HOW MUCH? Free Entry – Bring your own deck chairs, bean bags, picnic blanket etc.

*As in happy. Also as in camp. Two meanings.

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WSU Presents Open Air Concert This is the big one – WSU has brought on some of the best live bands in the country for O’week, and it’s entirely free for all students. Katchafire headline their first O’week gig with touring favourites dDub, and Hamilton Band Experiments questers Knights of the Dub Table.

WHERE: Held on the Village Green WHEN: 6.30pm Start HOW MUCH? Free Entry with Student I.D CAN I BRING BOOZE? Alcohol Restricted AWWWW: WSU Reserve the right to restrict entry BUT SRSLY CAN I DRINK? Lion Nathan VIP Lounge at concert

WSU Olympics The games continue…

WHEN: around 11:30 WHERE: Campus Village Green

WSU Lunchtime Concert Series: NZCAN emerging artist ‘The Thomas Oliver Band’ and also ‘The Earlybirds’ play in the lunchtime concert series. A good break from all the rest of the O’week madness.

Liquor King BBQ MEAT! WHEN: Kicks off around 12:15pm WHERE: Held on Campus Village Green

WSU Action Area ACTION Log-jousting Bahama Hut Mechanical Surfboard Army ‘Unimog’ rides to class 12

O’week Tip of the Day Don’t go in the Uni Lakes. The ducks and carp that “live” in them are actually undead, especially evolved to avoid the deadly poisons and terrifying Elder Gods that lurk in the lake depths (about 1.5 meters on average.) We know that printing this advice will actually cause scores of idiot firstyears to push each other into the Lakes and die – which is exactly what we planned! Ahaha!

Also: Familiarise yourself with where stuff is on campus.

O’week is designed to ORIENT you. There are few things worse than the stares of hatred from the adult students up the front (the lecturers are used to it and probably won’t care) when you arrive in lectures a quarter of an hour late.

They’ll assume you’re hungover and aren’t serious about study – when, of course, you are merely lost.

Last one. Make the most of it!

WHERE: Inside a box laced with a cyanide capsule with a quantumevent trigger at the Village Green WHEN: Waveform collapses at 12:15pm

WSU Olympics Woo, last day of WSU Olympics! There’ll probably be a closing ceremony of some kind… which will probably involve the Uni Lakes. You have been warned.

WHEN: around 11 WHERE: Held on Campus Village Green, like every other damn day

Burgerfuel Body Painting competition Come prove your artistic integrity by painting the bodies of naked people! Last time there were boobies and a dude got his tackle out, so this should provide something for everyone, as well as CASH PRIZES! WHEN: 11.30am WHERE: Village Green/bodies of nude volunteers

ZM Distraction If you haven’t yet been distracted by Distraction, perhaps now is the time. Bring your Ritalin.

WHEN: 1pm ish WHERE: Campus Village Green

WSU Lunchtime Concert Series Insert your own smart comment here _____________________________ about ‘The Exiles’ WHERE: Village Green WHY NOT: around 1.45pm

Liquor King and Burgerfuel Free BBQ

WSU Activities

More scarfing of dead creatures, but this time (presumably) with the gourmet burger touch. Delicious!

WHEN: About 12pm WHERE: Village Green

WSU Slip ‘n’ Slide. This is obviously a watersport of some kind. We’re not sure if it’s PG or R-rated, but it should be a good show either way.

WSU Shout: We imagine this has to do with free beer. Either that or it’s the WSU directors screaming at you for half an hour. As before, worth a look anyway.

DJ/Radio for the rest of the afternoon. And that, ladies and gentlemens, is O’week.

WSU Lunchtime Concert Series The lunchtime concert series presents ‘Paradox.’ This is either the name of a band or some kind of impossible event. Hey, perhaps it’s both.

O’week Tip of the Day Volunteer for Nexus.

Nexus is the only student magazine in the Waikato. We’re fully independent, always free, and every week we run news, features, columns, reviews, photos, puzzles, and pretty much anything and everything concerning students. We wind people up and expose Truth in its many guises. We keep you entertained and informed. Who writes all this stuff? You do, mostly.

If you’ve ever had an interest in news, media, design, journalism of any kind, or just want to write something entirely random, do come and visit us (we’re in the WSU building; see the map for details.) You can also send us an email (to editor@nexusmag.co.nz) or fill out our volunteer form online at nexusmag.co.nz.

volunteers and staff and we have a hell of a lot of fun stitching this rag together every week, and it’s also good for your career. So come along – we look forward to working with you.

No matter your skill, assuming you can put coherent words on paper we’ll find a job for you. You’ll be joining a team of dedicated 13

Dance-offs!

Find a WSU director and gently shout these words at them “I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DANCE-OFF!” They will be compelled to accept your challenge and you must dance at each other. An independent WSU witness will decide the winner and provide stamps. Walk-offs may also be performed in the same manner.

Ghosting! (Personal space invading, also known as Stealth Disco-ing) Receive a stamp for completing this dare successfully or half pie ….

You Decide! Successfully Ghost a member of the WSU for around 10 seconds! If you don’t know what ghosting is, search for “Hamish n Andy Ghosting” or “Stealth Disco” on YouTube.

This dare requires you to find a member of the WSU (let’s say, the President) stealthily ninja your way up behind him, and shadow his every movement standing about 30cm away from him. He must not notice you for around 10 seconds, and you must have witnesses.

(Video can help.)

To do these dares you’ll need to find a WSU Director. Their photos are on Page 34-35.

INTRO The Waikato Students Union is bringing the fun to town at the ASB Orientation ’09! We have lots of prizes to give away and we want to give them to you! All you have to do is complete the activities listed in this passport and have a bit of a laugh along the way.

You’ll go in the draw to win seats for you and two mates in the Lion Nathan VIP Tent for Thursday’s concert. As a VIP, you get to watch the entire concert side of stage with the bands. You’ll be showered with drinks (ID required) and tucker courtesy of Lion Nathan and Dominoes Pizza and at the end of the night one lucky VIP winner will walk away with two brand new Waikato Draught couches courtesy of Lion Nathan. So jump on board the WSU funtrain through O’Week, give it a go and we’ll give you free stuff.

Simply answer each of the following questions and head on over to the destination you think is the answer to receive your stamps (Hint: answers can be found in the Student Diary) I am a broke-as student who can’t afford a decent feed let alone a social life. I need of a bit of extra money to help fund my lifestyle, a step along my career path won’t hurt and some course-related work while I finish my degree would be a treat. Who do I see? And where do I find them?

I am a student who had a bit of a hard weekend, I drank a bit too much and things got a little crazy… good times! Now though, I’m having a bit of issues and think a visit to a nurse wouldn’t go astray! Who can I see? And where would I find them?

1. Participate or witness one event held by the WSU every day over the week and receive a stamp for each event, from a WSU Director. Directors of the WSU will be hanging out at all the events so rock on up to them and they’ll sort you out.

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A certain lecturer and I aren’t seeing eye to eye on a few things. To put it nicely, I feel hard done by and ripped off! I also may or may not have done something stupid and plagiarised some stuff and he may or may not have caught me out …. my bad!

Anyway, I don’t feel comfortable talking with him so…

Who can help me out? And where do I find them?

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DELIVERING TO WAIKATO S HARDCASE FLATS THE MOST HARDCASE FLAT WILL SCORE FREE WAIKATO DRAUGHT FOR A YEAR How hardcase is your flat? Does it proudly state Waikato in ways that would scare your landlord? If yes, Waikato Draught could drop you off a box.

During O’Week, Waikato Draught is operating a milk run delivering to hardcase flats in Waikato. Simply register your flat online and we’ll post you a sticker to chuck onto your letterbox. If your flat is decked out and hardcase, and your fridge has Waikato, you’ll be rewarded with a full box of the Wakachang.

For more details and to register visit www.waikatodraught.co.nz or register with our reps on campus on the 3rd and 5th of March.

Do it now and prove to Waikato how hardcase your flat really is.

Terms and Conditions: Free beer for 1 year equates to 52 dozen Waikato Draughts to be delivered in monthly allocations over 12 months to the winner. Judge’s decision is final. To receive Waikato Draught you must be over 18 yrs of age, identification may be requested.

Visit www.waikatodraught.co.nz for more details.

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Comrades!

Important Announcement from Nexus Ministry of Culture!

Nexus Magazine is always to looking out for more contributors, and add to its dedicated team We all the time require: • News • Short stories • Features • Poems • Columns • Or anything at all

…and put in worthwhile and valuable contribution to student culture (reach we over 5000 people every week) – then, on team, you are person we want!

Talent, age, education and technical prowess unimportant! (Preferred: initiative, energy, willingness to submit to rule of proletariat)

Also require persons to: • Draw • Paint • Food nom • Investigate • Proofread • Design • Gulag • Interview • Review • Quiz • Challenge • Drink • Prank • Hang out • Perform on radio • other

Nexus: dedicate to entertain and informing the student populace.

If wish you to join us in worthy cause, please to swing by the Nexus office located in the Communist Student Union Building on the Waikato Uni campus, and talk to us. Alternative! – go online and register your interest on the Nexus website! nexusmag.co.nz Remember! – at Waikato University, student magazine writes you!

Nexus: proud commie pinko femmeNazi sisterhood anarcho-punk freedom lovers since the 60’s.

Woruldr To

Steve Wrigley

We’ve got some world-famousin-NZ comedians performing this O’week! Tuesday night at the Hillcrest Tavern, doors open 6m – five bucks on the door. Make sure you check them out!

BEN HURLEY New Zealand comedian, BEN HURLEY continues to ride the crest of a wave on the competitive UK Pro comedy circuit.

In last years New Zealand International Comedy Festival HURLEY performed alongside fellow international guests in THE BIG SHOW in Auckland.

Now in to his 3rd year in the UK, the 2004 Billy T Comedy Award winner has built an impressive CV with gigs not only in the UK but also Switzerland, Spain, Holland, Bahrain, Dubai and Singapore. He also enjoyed featuring in the comedy tent at the famous Reading and Leeds Festivals.

BEN HURLEY is only the second New Zealand act to be invited to perform on the ComedyStore UK TV show.

Steve Wrigley is a world class stand up who has performed Stand Up Comedy in New York, both in Times Square and on Broadway, in Canada, Australia, London and all over his native country, New Zealand.

Dai Henwood Once upon a time, February 1978 in fact, Dai Henwood was born in Wellington, New Zealand.

Since that time he has launched an explosive career as one of the country’s most recognized comedians, working full time in Auckland. In a relatively short space of time he has performed throughout New Zealand and is also a regular feature at The Classic Comedy Bar. Dai has starred on three series of TV2’s Pulp Comedy. In 1999 he won Pulp Comedy’s Best New Face and in 2003 Dai has earned his own Pulp Comedy half-hour TV special, featuring his individual brand of sketch and character comedy.

In 2002 Dai wrote The Story of Funk for which he won the TV2 Billy T Award – making him the youngest person ever to win the coveted prize.

Dai’s talent extends beyond the just comedy scene; successfully appearing in the TV shows including Xena: Warrior Princess, Revelations and The Tribe.

Wrigley is a master story teller. His material comprises of well told highly energetic stories blasted through the manic filter of his over active imagination. Steve’s comedy draws you further and further into his world as he reveals an unusual life from a bizarre and wonderfully entertaining comedic perspective.

Best known for his ‘almost unsurpassed’ (Theatreview.org.nz) Improv skill, Wrigley exudes a tremendous amount of energy as he will often unleash the full fury of his improv arsenal, side tracking from his own stories and getting lost in whimsical banter with his audience, In the past this has been anything from an improvised song or Shakespearian soliloquy to costuming himself with items from the crowd and creating an entire character then and there.

It’s clear when Wrigley performs that he is the person in the room enjoying himself the most.

It’s infectious and no audience is able to resist this energetic mountain of charm and honesty.

With all the traits of the classic clown, Wrigley is one to go and see.

19

WSU Action Area Log-jousting Bahama Hut Mechanical Surfboard Army ‘Unimog’ rides to class

WSU Olympics Kicks off around 11:30 Held on Campus Village Green Dominoes Pizza eating competition Sekure / Loft DJ Kicks off around 12:15pm Held on Campus Village Green

WSU Olympics Kicks off around 11:30 Held on Campus Village Green

WSU Games of Doom Happening all day Held all over campus Quick fire games with small prize packs

Thursday Night

Liqour King BBQ Kicks off around 12:15pm Held on Campus Village Green

Monday Night Hypnotist Guy Cater Held on Campus Village Green

Liquor King BBQ Kicks off around 12:15pm

WSU Presents Open Air Concert Katchafire, dDub, Knights of the Dub Table Held on the Village Green 6.30pm Start Free Entry with Student I.D Alcohol Restricted WSU Reserve the right to restrict entry

ZM Distraction Kicks off around 1pm Held on Campus Village Green

6pm Start Students Free Entry (This event will be held in PWC if it rains)

Held on Campus Village Green

Lion Nathan VIP Lounge at concert

WSU Lunchtime Concert Series: NZCAN emerging artist ‘The Thomas Oliver Band’ and also ‘The Earlybirds’

For all ASB Orientation’09 events WSU Reserve the right to restrict entry. All WSU events are oriented towards Waikato University Students and are alcohol restricted.

WSU Games of Doom Happening all day Held all over campus Quick fire games with small prize packs

WSU Olympics Kicks off around 11:30 Held on Campus Village Green Sekure / Loft DJ Kicks off around 12:15pm Held on Campus Village Green Liqour King BBQ Kicks off around 12:15pm Held on Campus Village Green ZM Distraction Kicks off around 1pm Held on Campus Village Green

20

WSU Action Area Happening all day Held beside Academy of performing Arts Liquor King Summit Competition Climb to the Summit of the Rock Wall and receive free Summit Beer Bahama Hut Mechanical Surfboard Army ‘Unimog’ Rides to Class

Tuesday Night Comedy Night - Dai Henwood, Ben Hurley and Steve Wrigley Held at the Hillcrest Tavern Doors open at 6pm Show starts at 7pm Students $5 Entry Fee

Held on Village Green Kicks off around 12:15pm

Wednesday Night Clubs Day (students are introduced to all university affiliated clubs) Log-Jousting Rock-climbing Wall Skateboard Bowl Student Olympics Liquor King BBQ

Open Air Movie Night -‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ Held against the Academy of Performing Arts Wall Welcome from 8.30pm, screening to start approx 9.15pm Free Entry – Bring your own deck chairs, bean bags, picnic blanket etc.

(This event will be held in PWC if it rains)

WSU Olympics Kicks off around 11 Held on Campus Village Green Burgerfuel Body Painting competition Kicks off around 11.30pm Held on Village Green Liquor King and Burgerfuel Free BBQ Kicks off around 12pm Held on Campus Village Green WSU Lunchtime Concert Series ‘Paradox’

ZM Distraction Kicks off around 1pm Held on Campus Village Green WSU Lunchtime Concert Series ‘The Exiles’ Held on Village Green Kicks off around 1.45pm WSU Activities WSU Slip ‘n’ Slide WSU Shout DJ/Radio for the rest of the afternoon

21

We’ve got a competition for you, O’week Nexus Readers.

You see, we’ve got this photo page called Busted that runs at the back of the magazine every week. It’s a mix of pictures of up-town shenanigans, and pictures taken by yourselves. We thought we’d kick this year’s Busted off with a bang, to celebrate the fact that we’ll soon have a Busted website! (Keep an eye out for details.)

So, for the competition, simply take this giant Busted logo, and either a.) cut it out as a stencil and spraypaint our logo somewhere that is both awesome and legal or b.) rip out the page and do something awesome with it. We don’t care what it is. All we care is that you take a photo of the result, and send it to busted@nexusmag.co.nz by Thursday the 26th of February (make sure you include your real name and contact details, or we can’t give you your prize.)

We’ll publish the most awesomest photos on the Busted page in the next Nexus magazine, as well as on the website. Additionally, the best two photos will net the best two photographers 24 of the purest Steinlager Pure beers. (To win alcohol, you must be 18. We will check.)

Winners announced in Nexus. So get snapping, and get Busted!

On a related note, Nexus is looking for people to take Busted pictures this year. If you’re over 18, preferably female, and regularly enjoy the Hamiltron nightlife, either drop us an email at editor@nexusmag.co.nz or come in to the Nexus office to apply.

Competition terms and conditions: Entrants must be over the age of 18 to enter. Photos featuring illegal activity or intoxication will be disqualified. Winners can pick up their prize (2x “12 packs” of Steinlager Pure beer) from the Nexus magazine offices from the 9th of March, 2009. Photo ID must be produced and match the name on the entry form and the identity of the claimant to redeem prize. The judge’s decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into. Entries close midnight of 26/2/09

22

i n U o t k c a B

d e e n u o y g in h t ry Kmart has eve ear, socks, re, clothing, underw itu rn fu , re wa en ch kit r, Stationery, mancheste

hosiery and more

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Simply present your valid student ID & save 5% on your purchase

OfďŹ ce One 20 page display books $1.99ea.

2 drawer metal ďŹ ling cabinet $79.99.

Solutions 1.7L cordless kettle $13.99.

Papermate Kilometrico 10pk pens $3.99pk.

Solutions A4 copy paper 500 sheet ream $5.29.

0932TM

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1

16/2/09

11:29:06 AM

Village Green The centre of Campus next to the … intriguing Uni Lakes, this is where most of the O’week events will be held.

Performing Arts Academy There’ll be a big open-air showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show here on Wednesday night.

At other times, it’s good for kicking a soccer ball against.

PWC

being built. All the same, shops will be here eventually!

WSU Building (SUB) For some reason this place is always really hard for new students to find. But it’s important, because here are student chill-out areas, Gaura restaurant, the Ticketmaster machine, and down the hall is Nexus

Nexus

great space to eat your lunch. Watch out for the mysterious Poo Smell – it has been known to lurk here.

Contact FM The best of student radio, wide open to the public and usually playin’ tunes during the day.

L-block Kind of good to know where this is, seeing as about half of all your lectures will probably be here.

Get all your foody needs here

Down the hall in the WSU Building. If you’ve got an interest in journalism or other publishing-related stuff, come visit us! We’ll put up signs so you can find us – people always complain we’re impossible to find, but look at it like this: If you can’t find us, you’re not smart enough to write for us. So there.

The Banks Shops

The Cowshed

The Hilly

Um. At the time of writing, we’re not actually sure how many shops will actually be here when O’week begins, because they were still

Lots of stuff here. A hairdresser, Citizen’s Advice Bureau, Clubs, Contact FM – and a

Some off campus events are being held here.

The biggest lecture theatre on campus. This’ll be where stuff will go if it rains.

The Bongo

24

25

An all-Maori ethnic reggae band from Hamilton, Aotearoa who adapted their name from the Bob Marley and The Wailers album ‘Catch a Fire’, originally a five piece Bob Marley tribute band formed in mid 97’ by manager then Grenville Bell (now the bands lead guitarist) original members consisting of Haani Totorewa (Keyboards, Vocals) Tere Ngarua (Bass), Thompson Hohepa (Guitar, Vocals) and Grenvilles two sons Logan (Guitar, Lead Vocals) and Jordan Bell (Drums).

The band has been though many changes over the years with the new talents of Ara Adams Tamatea (Bass), Jamey Fergusson (Keyboards, Sax, Lead Vocals) and Leon Davey (Vocals, Percussions) all highly respected and appraised musicians stepping into fill positions, a move that gave Katchafire their trademark Kiwi reggae vibe and tight musical flow.

With the group’s popularity growing even more globally, Katchafire has toured from Australia, Saipan, Guam, New Caledonia, Italy and Amsterdam to the U.K and have recently completed a successful tour of Hawaii and the U.S California coast as well as a busy local itinerary which has the band working 2 to 3 days of the week every week.

A unique sound from a unique band, a soulful taste of reggae that soothes, Kiwi driven roots flavour with added the subtleties of the group’s various musical influences. Katchafire continue 26

to reach beyond their boundaries to audiences, cultures and listeners everywhere.

Nexus caught up with Logan from Katchafire for a yarn.

Nexus: Hey how’s it going?

Katchafire: Kia Ora bro Nexus: What were the high points for Katachafire in 2008?

Katchafire: A lot of things actually. Our most recent album peaked on the American reggae billboard chart at number 6. We toured Hawaii and California which was awesome; I think we’re actually bigger in Hawaii than back home. Last year we got word that we had sold more copies of our album in the State of California than anywhere else in the world combined.

Nexus: Wow, that’s wicked. What’s new for Katchafire in 2009?

Katchafire: We’re playing to go back to the States, bigger and better. We’re also starting work on our new album and are currently in the process of writing new songs which we will release during the year. And in between all that, we’re doing the occasional gig around the country.

Nexus: Is there much of a reggae/roots scene in Hamilton?

Katchafire: Umm I think to tell you the truth over the last five years there has been a massive resurgence of reggae music. Bands that were predominantly rock and rap based

are slowly shifting towards more dub/reggae sound which is awesome. On my street there’s a couple of jammers who love their reggae tunes, I’m not sure if they know I live next to them, but it’s just good to hear.

Nexus: Who are your major influences and how do they impact on the music you create?

Katchafire: I guess the major reggae artists are our biggest influences, but also some of the guys get off on the likes of Stevie Wonder, Little River Band, The Eagles. They’re real awesome musicians, they’ve got awesome tunes and they can all sing. Also Maori history plays a big part in our music and lyrics.

Nexus: Which campus are you most looking forward to playing at on your Orientation Tour?

Katchafire: Well they always give us an awesome reception at Auckland and Wellington. Also looking forward to playing at Waikato and another one we’re looking forward to is Lincoln. The youth bring a good energy.

Nexus: Is the majority of your audience usually young people?

Katchafire: Not necessarily. The young ones are usually more enthusiastic, but we have adults and elderly who enjoy our tunes. We’re quite lucky in that aspect.

Nexus: Awesome. Well that’s about it, anything more you’d like to say?

Katchafire: I’d just like to say we can’t wait to get out and play on your campus and we hope we get an awesome reception.

Nexus: I’m sure you will.

O’week sees some of New Zealand’s best touring bands on the Waikato campus – and a heap of local and new faces too. Nexus caught up with some of the big names – and here they are, for your reading pleasure.

dDub are one of New Zealand’s best loved live acts. Engaging and uplifting, the dDub crew propel their way seamlessly through a powerful and non-stop roots explosion. Renowned for their blistering live gigs, last year dDub played 56 shows throughout New Zealand and Australia.

Combining authentic roots styles with a contemporary approach to creating conscious music, dDub have developed a sound free from digital, and modern in production. Renowned for their ‘cranking and skanking’ live shows, the band never fails to connect with the crowd and they have become firm favourites at many nationwide outdoor festivals in NZ including Rhythm and Vines, WOMAD, Queenstown Winter Festival, Soundsplash, and more. dDub’s frontman Derek chatted to Nexus after he finished sorting out his corn.

Nexus: Hey, how’s it going? dDub: Hey, I’m actually just in the middle of buttering a piece of corn – can you call me back in 10minutes?

Nexus: Sure.

11 minutes later…

Nexus: Are you ready for the interview now? dDub: Yes, I have a full belly of corn.

Nexus: Fantastic. So what were the high points for dDub in 2008? dDub: Umm well we started the year playing the 11pm-12am set at Rhythm and Vines

which was really awesome. I guess I better say our recent Hamilton gig was a high point (laughs). But, really it was just a good year all round. We released an album (Medicine Man), toured Australia, got on the charts, and also the band got more of a focus on what we want to do in the studio and playing live.

Nexus: Wicked. So what’s new for 2009? Does the band have any goals it’s striving towards? dDub: We just had a strategic meeting the other day actually (thinks), so we’re going to keep pushing on from last year. We’re looking at new ways of getting our music out there, including trying to get our songs on commercial radio, who haven’t been to kind to us in the past. At the moment we’re still on an independent label and are still mostly underground; slowly increasing our fan base through word of mouth and live shows. We’re also doing a promotion with Cookie Time where you can buy two cookies and get our first album for just $5; they will mostly likely be on campuses too.

Nexus: Awesome, I’m sure everyone reading this right now will go buy one. How does dDub write and produce its songs? Is there one main songwriter or is it whole band input? dDub: It changes from song to song really, but mainly there is a couple of people that come up with a song and then everyone chucks there five cents in to give it that dDub sound.

Nexus: Cool. Who is dDub influenced by and how do they impact on the music you create?

dDub: There’s a real sort of old school approach to our writing and recording; we definitely don’t take a modern pop approach, our sound is much more realistic. We take a lot of influence from 60’s and 70’s music as well as good new bands that are coming out.

We have solid rock roots; we’ve probably got more of a rock influence than any of the other reggae/dub bands around; our shows are very lively and upbeat.

Nexus: Which campus on the Orientation Tour are you most looking forward to playing at? dDub: Ohhhhh um, shit, well, in fact we’ve never actually played on Waikato campus before. Where are we actually playing?

Nexus: The Village Green, in between a giant service station and a festering cess pond. dDub: Eww. Who are we playing with?

Nexus: Katchafire and Knights of the Dub Table. dDub: Aw man that sounds cool! Is that outside?

Nexus: Yup. dDub: At night time?

Nexus: Yup. dDub: Cool. I’m really looking forward to that gig actually, I love playing the universities, there’s always a good crowd pumping.

Nexus: Exactly. Well thank you for your time and we’ll see you on the stage. dDub: Yip, cheers mate, see ya later.

27

Formerly Vol. 1 Bookshop Change of name but no change from great service or lowest prices!!

nd

New & 2 Hand Textbooks Between Gates 2A & 2B

aplus@aplustextbooks.co.nz 141 Knighton Rd

Sora Shima are an instrumental rock band hailing from Hamilton (“Hamilslum” as they put it), New Zealand. Sora Shima began life in the early months of 2006, and shot to Hamilton fame in 2008 when they were crowned the winners of the resurrected Mammoth Band Experiments.

Nexus spoke to Rob from Sora Shima once he sorted out his phone Nexus: Hey, how’s it going?

SS: It’s going well mate, but my reception’s a bit dodgy, do you mind ringing me on my landline?

2 minutes later SS: Hot enough for you?

Nexus: Yeah, it is bloody muggy today. So how are you holding up?

SS: Yeah pretty good, I’m actually going to Waikato this year, studying a one year postgrad in primary teaching, but I haven’t studied in 10 years so my brain is a bit shocked.

Nexus: What were the high points for Sora Shima in 2008? In fact how long have guys been together?

SS: (Laughing) coming up three years, we played our first show in April 2007. We had a

bit of a low in the middle of the year while we were recording our EP, but that’s all done now and was released mid-January this year.

Nexus: Were you happy with the final product?

SS: Yeah definitely. We just wanted to get something out that we were capable of and sounded cool. We are now more focused on releasing our first album.

Nexus: So what else is on the agenda for 2009?

SS: Basically writing new songs to go on the album and playing gigs, but mostly getting the work done on producing the album, it probably will be ready by the start of 2010.

Nexus: How does Sora Shima write their songs?

SS: This might sound cheesy but it’s sort of like baking a loaf of bread. Jason will come up with the dough, then we batter it around a bit, chuck it in the oven, pull it out, pour some sprinkles on it and it generally works (laughs).

Nexus: Hmm, that’s an interesting analogy.

Who are your main influences?

SS: Well we all really have different musical tastes, everything from metal to jazz, and we all rub that off on our music.

Nexus: So what musical genre would best describe Sora Shima?

SS: It’s lazy but probably post-rock. To me that just means rock music with guitars but no lyrics.

Nexus: So you’re an instrumental band?

SS: Yeah pretty much, but with the lyrics thing we’ve never really written anything that we believe is worthy enough (laughs).

Nexus: Do you find it hard getting recognised/ gigs as an instrumental band?

SS: I think after you’ve made the decision you want to play as an instrumental band you just work at becoming really good at it and people will begin to take notice. But I don’t think there is one bar in Hamilton that would hire a band to play their own originals, which is quite sad really.

Nexus: Are you looking forward to the O’Week gig?

SS: Yeah yeah definitely, I’ll try and remain sober haha Nexus: Well that’s about it, was there anything else you wanted to say?

SS: Ummm uhhh just say our EP is available in all major record stores and all that shit.

Nexus: Sweet as, thank you for your time.

SS: Not a problem, I’ll see you at the gig, bye.

29

Nexus is a free student magazine that comes out every week during University semesters. We’re run by several full and part time staff, but volunteers provide most of the content. You, too, can work for Nexus – simply come visit the office, or email editor@nexusmag.co.nz.

Right now, we’re looking to fill a few specific volunteer positions (although free swag comes with the job.) Here they are:

Books Editor To read, review, and organise reviews of books (that you get for free.) Must be super-literate and enjoy reading everything.

Music Editor We need you to review or organise (good) reviews of CDs (usually two a week) and write the weekly Citric column about what’s happening to the tune of local music. You’ve got to know what the fuck you’re talking about and be a good writer.

Some musical experience is a bonus but not necessary.

Other jobs will crop up throughout the year, so keep an eye out.

Nexus is one of the main hubs of student culture at Waikato University. We’ll be out and about through most of O’week, with our trolley full of Nexi. But it probably helps to know who you’re dealing with, so we’ll introduce ourselves beforehand.

Some people that you’ll probably meet over the course of the year include:

Add the WSU as a friend and be in to WIN PRIZES and passes to WSU events throughout O’Week and the rest of the year.

You’ve got to be in it to WIN it, so log onto Facebook or Bebo now to start earning yourself loads of free stuff“

30

Joshua Drummond

Grant Burns

Editor

Reporter

Joshua came to Hamilton in 1996 during the Summer of Privatisation, after winning first prize in a rigged Teen Mel Gibson look-a-like competition that promised a trip to Norway. After sleeping in a suitcase in the back of a Balinese freight plane he was surprised to wake up in Hamilton. Thinking it was Norway (and barely noticing the lack of fjords, mountains, or Norwegians) Joshua stayed on, and blundered into the Nexus offices one day looking for something to eat. Then-editor Carl Watkins took pity on the scruffy, confused young man, and gave him something juicy and sweet to snack on, in return for journalistic favours.

Joshua stayed on, writing things that only occasionally spurred people to threaten to sue, and after several years of doing odd jobs, scamming things, and paying a visiting wizard to cast a spell on the entire WSU, was able to fake enough competence to rise to the post of Nexus Editor.

He has a “degree” in “Media Arts” from “Wintec” as well as what he proudly calls “half a law degree from the fourth-best law school in the country,” and in an attempt to blend masochism with blind stupidity, is attempting to take Honours this year at Wintec. He is taken by the single coolest, hottest girl ever to offer to volunteer at Nexus and then wander off only to be reunited by the offer of free booze. He is a Sensitive Scorpio and enjoys the award-winning documentary series Sensing Murder, Management students, a refreshing dip in the Uni Lakes, and sarcasm. He looks like this:

Grant Burns spent his early years touring the country with his illiterate mother-figure and six fathers. After “the Family” ran foul of the CIA in an armed standoff near Te Puke, Grant escaped into the bush at the tender age of 12. He spent the next six years living on totora berries, giant eels, possums and the occasional kiwi, only to chance across some German hikers in the spring of 1999. They fled at his yodelling approach, and dropped a copy of a book called Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Grant was fascinated by the arcane symbols in this book, and returned to civilisation, sleeping in the backs of cattle trucks and in the beds of National MP’s daughters. He taught himself to read from road signs, Sesame Street broadcasts glimpsed through the windows of electronics retailers, old fish-n-chip wrappers, and made money by selling the flowers from the tall spiky plants that grew wild in the ditches and occasionally in well-hidden greenhouses.

Grant came to Nexus hoping to follow in the footsteps of his idol, Hunter S Thompson, by which we mean he was high and holding a hastily-written opinion piece. Sporting a Mohawk haircut and a can-do attitude, Grant quickly slipped into the rhythms of Nexus volunteer life, in much the same way as a Kama Sutra master slips into an Indian princess. He now works as the Reporter, and wants to stress to “all the ladies of the world” that yes, he is single, available, and playful. He is a Virulent Virgo and looks like this: 31

Vitamin C

Flash Medallion

Burton C Bogan

Hanger-on

Corrupter of Persons

Resident Evil

Vitamin C is our all purpose Nexus hanger-on and Doer of Things. He takes his name from his mother’s habit of taking vast quantities of vitamin C in an effort to protect her gestating foetus from psychic UFO attacks. This resulted in Vitamin C’s powerful, un-UFO-infected brain and severe physical and neurological deformities that he keeps hidden with unusual hairstyles and never having his photo in Nexus.

His neurological deficits are more than made up for by the mysterious ability to “see” Humour without being under the effects of (many) drugs. He reports Humour to look like “a kind of purple swirly butterfly riding a piebald horse which is in turn riding an octopus.” He calls this special ability his “sense of Humour.” An Engineering student, he is the first person known to isolate the key compound comprising Humour, which he named Hiliarium. He also has some form of control over Time, being able to bend deadlines to his will. Nexus suspects this has something to do with playing the Song of Time backwards outside the WSU building late on a Thursday night. He is a Psychedelic Pisces and enjoys fire. If he had a photo, he would look like this:

Flash Medallion was conceived on the golden sands of the Mount Maunganui foreshore when an out of control 1972 Ferrari Daytona Spyder 365 crashed through a nightclub and came to rest on the beach with a ‘Foreigner - Records’ vinyl jammed under the mudflap. 9 minutes later the worlds greatest known lover and fighter emerged, clothed in nothing but the loving embrace of pink neon lighting.

He transferred to Hamilton after his first publication, ‘Ladies who like to Smooch’ was shut down when its ties to local firefighting corruption were exposed, and has been working with Nexus ever since; slowly acquiring funds and influencing popular opinion until the esteemed position of “RocknRoll Destective’ can be created, which he was born to occupy.

He currently manages the Puzzle Page, but has been caught up in a hilarious odd-couple situation with resident overlord, Lord Bfulhu.

He looks like this

Once, there was a Bogan who…had no imagination so he stole this from a band who’s poo. He wrote Boganology…now he…writes about himself (brains fried from TV). Nobody really liked him, he’d always just beeeen therrrrre... Burton lives in a small castle known as the Psychology PhD room where he dispenses hammer thrusts of justice to evil wrong-doers. Fuelled by alcohol and coffee he is involved in multiple projects including WSU (Disabilities and – ironically – Mature Students portfolios), the Society of Heavy Metal & Hard Rock (Waikato Chapter) and amusingly, recently is being coerced into becoming a Roller Derby Ref. Willing to give anything a try as long as people are gentle and buy him dinner later, he can usually be seen wandering the campus in a Slayer shirt, black jeans and no shoes. He makes frequent attempts to appear on TV in order to gain free beer but due to looking like a cue tip this has been relatively unsuccessful. He is available for parties and bah mitzvahs, and charges half price if he can come dressed as a Ghostbuster (preferably Venkman). Oh yeah, and he’s a columnist and all around odd-job man for Nexus. He looks like this:

We’ll have more contributor profiles next week in the first real Nexus of the year, so check it out! You can also read us online at nexusmag.co.nz, so make sure you head on over.

32

Presents:

DIS-orientation Contact 88.1 is Waikato University’s own student radio station. We lives in the Cowshed on campus in between Campus Cuts and the Citizens’ Advice Bureau, and are run completely by volunteers.

Contact is student radio. This means we are not a commercial station and we specialise in sub-genres of music. We also play a massive 60% NZ content – the highest in NZ. We play the interesting stuff that you won’t hear on mainstream stations. We support local underground bands and local bands are very good to us. We broadcast 24 hours a day, seven days a week and currently we have about a dozen specialist shows airing weekly and the rest of the time the station broadcasts its computer generated playlist.

Contact will begin streaming live sometime early in 2009.

We are running a Disorientation week of events during O Week. On top of that Contact hosts several gigs throughout the year featuring

new and existing local bands and solo musicians. We help organise the Annual Circle Jerk, now in its fifth year, and we are always interested in new music so if you’re a solo artist or you have a band doing original stuff please get in touch with us. Better still, sign up for our Busking Comp in O week.

2009 marks the 35th birthday of Contact fm and we plan to celebrate this on Labour Weekend so keep your eyes peeled for more info on that.

We are student radio at its best and we welcome your involvement so come and sign up during O week if you’re interested in becoming an announcer, doing a specialist show, becoming a music programmer or helping out with show production. If you’re a graphic artist or web nerd who wants to help out we wanna hear from you. Sign up sheets will be available in the studio and on the green on Clubs Day – Wed 4 March.

We have a great year planned and we’d love you to be involved. Feel free to drop in to the studio any time the doors are open and have a chat.

Contact fm Disorientation Event Guide Studio will be open all week from 10am till 8 or late

Wednesday: Clubs Day Contact fm broadcasting on the Green

8.30–11pm Nik’s Friday House Show in studio

Monday: 12pm Der Kranks outside the studio

4-8pm: Guest DJ Performing live at the studio

Tuesday: 10-2pm The Cook Café and Bar presents The Contact fm Busking Competition Happening all over campus… $200 cash prize plus the winner opens for the Friday Disorientation gig

Thursday: 5-8pm Hira’s Roots Uprising Disorientation Special At the studio

8 - late Contact Disorientation 2009 Featuring busking comp winner Doteye The Hollow Grinders The Shrugs Sora Shima Gaura lunch bar in the WSU building Gold coin entry / BYO

To enter please send details to contactfm88.1@ gmail.com 4-8pm Guest DJ Performing live at the studio

Friday: 12-2pm Completely Mad Bastard Stunt Knut Outside the studio 5-8pm Paula’s Disorientation Special At the studio

Sunday: 12-2pm The Cook Café and Bar presents The Church of Comedy’s First Birthday Free Live-to-Air stand-up With comedians Jan Maree and Andre King Outside the studio in the Cowshed Courtyard 33

See these people? They are WSU Directors. They’ve helped put O’week together and they’re also the ones you’ve got to hunt down for the O’week Passport competition. (page 15.) So go to them, and good luck.

The WSU Board of Directors include a President, Vice-President, and VP Maori. The other directors all hold particular portfolios that they are in charge of representing. Directors are elected each year in WSU elections. The WSU also holds Special General Meetings and Annual General Meetings. These, along with WSU elections, are all advertised in Nexus. The WSU holds Board Meetings every Monday (usually) during the University year. Nexus reports on these in a column called the Execution. Members of the WSU are invited to come along.

It’s our first time.

Let’s talk about it.

The Greens have always spoken up for students.

Now they have nine voices in Parliament. Kevin Hague, Catherine Delahunty and Kennedy Graham are the three new Green MPs.

For updates, text ‘Greenme’ and your name to 4040.

Over the next few months, they’ll be visiting campuses around the country. They want to hear your thoughts, ideas and vision for Aotearoa.

When it’s your first time, you need advice from your friends.

34

greens.org.nz/tertiaryeducation

Pene Delaney WSU President president@wsu.org.nz

Glen Delamere

Whetu Taukamo

Vice President vp@wsu.org.nz

Vice President Maori vpmaori@wsu.org.nz

35

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YOUR CHANCE TO WIN WICKED PRIZES MORE INFO AND REGISTRATION AT ZMONLINE.COM ZMS DISTRACTION LIVE ON THE O-WEEK STAGE MONDAY and TUESDAY at 1pm AND FRIDAY AT 11am

PUZZLERS! I AM LORD BHFULU. I WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO ACQUIRE FUEL BURGERS. Each week, complete my web of puzzles. Hand them in to WSU Reception. The Nexus

diNgbat

Editor will collect them and at the end of the week decide which is most worthy. That person will receive a summons to collect their voucher for the Burger Fuel. Heed the summons. You will not resist the call.

Colouring Competition.

Colour, orders Lord Bhfulu.

The correct colour is purple. All other colours may be subject to my wrath.

Medium Sudoku of falling into the Uni Lakes Puzzle 1 (Medium, difficulty rating 0.58)

2

6

5 4

7 2

3

1

7 4

2

9

1

9 8

6 4

7

6

1

3

3 9 6

8

2

4 5

3

8

Generated by http://www.opensky.ca/~jdhildeb/software/sudokugen/ on Fri Feb 20 01:05:22 2009 GMT. Enjoy!

Y E A R P K B U D D

L S E K A L F U N J

R I O A T I C D E Y R M I A D L R H C C

Lakes Katchafire Director Flameout Lollipop girl Outback Chlamydia Triangle First year Ddub

G I T U O E M A L F

E R I F A H C T A K

T R I A N G L E U X

O M P O P I L L O L

O F U I T R B S A T C A K I Z D Q E R M

Win a y earâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s supply of speightâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s summit & organic potatoes at burg erfu el noW

www.burgerfuel.com www.burgerfuel.com Eat Responsively, Drink Responsibly.

See instore for competition details. You must be over 18 to enter.

Beer Battered Fries only available while stocks last.

BF986_BB_Nexus_FP.indd 1

5/2/09 9:49:00 AM

PRE O WEEK AT

FRIDGE, HANDLES, DOUBLES.

WED, THURS, FRI, SAT 25TH - 28TH FEB 2009