EXTRA 10.12.11

Vol. I Issue iII

THE INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWS ORGANIZATION AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CINCINNATI | WWW.NEWSRECORD.ORG WEDNESDAY | OCTOBER 12 | 2011

Sam Weinberg has the details on the Keg of Nails rivalry game and what fans should expect this weekend p. 6-7

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OBAMA JOBS BILL SMACKED DOWN 3

IRANIAN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT FOILED 5

BUTCH BRONES VS. MICKY BRONIN 8

JERSEY SHORE IN REAL LIFE 9

index 3

COVER PHOTO BY PAT STRANG | ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR

Obama’s job plan hits roadblock UC co-op reaches all-time high

Keeping the cops Clermont gets $1.3M

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Afghan army torture

Iranian assassination plot uncovered

The Keg of Nails

Album Alert

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—TNR EXTRA — NEWSRECORD.ORG — TABLE OF CONTENTS

Bronin and Brones on heading to C-USA

Notice all those banners saying places were “Voted best by UC students?” Does it anger you that your favorite business didn’t win?

Take your rage out the American way: vote!

509 AND 510 SWIFT HALL UNIVERSITY OF CINCINNATI 45221-0135 OFFICE PHONE 556-5900 OFFICE FAX 556-5922

THE NEWS RECORD FOUNDED IN 1880

The News Record, an independent, student-run news organization of the University of Cincinnati’s Communication Board, is printed during the school year every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, except holidays and examination periods, from its office located in 509 Swift Hall and is distributed to the UC community. The News Record distributes to more than 80 locations and has a weekly circulation of 22,500. One copy per person is free. Additional copies can be picked up at The News Record office for $1.

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The Real Jersey Shore

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The Best of UC (Nominations start Oct. 17.)

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF ARIEL CHEUNG MANAGING EDITOR SAM GREENE BUSINESS & ADVERTISING MANAGER KELSEY PRICE

SPORTS EDITORS SAM WEINBERG BRITTANY YORK OPINION EDITOR JASON HOFFMAN ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR KELLY TUCKER

ASSISTANT BUSINESS MANAGER JARED HOWE

PHOTO EDITOR EAMON QUEENEY

NEWS EDITORS ANTHONY OROZCO SCOTT WINFIELD

ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR PATRICK STRANG MULTIMEDIA EDITOR BLAKE HAWK

CHIEF REPORTER JAMES SPRAGUE CHIEF PHOTOGRAPHER COULTER LOEB DESIGNERS ALI RICE KATE DAVIS GIN A. ANDO PRODUCTION DESIGNER ERIN HUNTER CLASSIFIED MANAGER KATY SCHERER

U.S. Senate votes down ‘jobs bill’ james sprague | chief reporter The lifespan of President Barack Obama’s proposed plan to stimulate the economy, create more jobs and reduce the federal deficit — created just two months ago — took a major blow as the Senate voted to block consideration of the bill Tuesday evening.

The proposed American Jobs Acts, a $447 billion plan introduced in September by the president, required at least 60 votes from members of Congress in order to move forward for debate in the Senate. The vote’s unofficial final tally Tuesday evening — while giving proponents of the plan a majority at 50-48 — fell 10 votes short of the needed number.

The president, in an appearance in Pittsburgh, Pa. Tuesday afternoon before the Senate vote, once again implored Congress to pass the plan — much like his appearance in Cincinnati last month — and said the Senate vote would illustrate to Americans how their elected representatives stood on the proposed legislation.

“Today is the day when every American will find out exactly where their senator stands on this jobs bill,” Obama said. “Republicans say that one

of the most important things we can do is cut taxes. Then they should be for this plan. This jobs bill would cut taxes for virtually every worker and small business in America; every single one.”

Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory also pushed the Senate to pass the proposed act Tuesday afternoon to no avail.

“The American Jobs Act is good for Cincinnati. It will help keep teachers, firefighters and police officers employed.

It encourages companies to hire veterans and individuals who have been looking for a job for more than six months,” Mallory said. “The Act will allow Cincinnatians to get back to work building bridges, modernizing schools and repairing roads. And it provides working families with a tax cut. I strongly encourage the Senate to pass the American Jobs Act.” The plan — which also has little opportunity of passing in the Republican-majority House of Representatives — was described

by Senate Minority leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky Tuesday morning as an attempt by Democrats to employ a bill similar to the president’s first stimulus package and that it is a plan that has been unsuccessful.

“If voting against another stimulus is the only way we can get Democrats

eamon queeney | photo editor

JOBS ACT HALTED The American Jobs Acts, promoted by President Obama in Cincinnati in September, lost it momentum as it came 10 votes short in the Senate. in Washington to finally abandon this failed approach to job creation, then so be it,” McConnell said. “And by proposing a second stimulus, Democrats are showing the American

people that they have no new ideas for dealing with our jobs crisis.”

The job act is also a political see JOBS | 10

UC co-op placement highest since 2001 Renowned co-op program returning to national supremacy zohair hussain | tnr contributor

—stan nasilivech third-year finance student

THREE

during the recession, the professional practice division faced the challenge of employers not hiring at all.

“When the economy doesn’t work for you, you can do a lot of work. But if people can’t afford to hire, people can’t afford to hire,” Cedercruetz said. “Some employers, at the peak of the recession, were telling our division how they would have to wait at least a year for the market. “ In 2009, the percent of co-op placement dropped to 94 percent and then to 93.1 percent in 2010.

Now, the placement rate is between 97-99 percent in mandatory programs alone, with 5,632 co-op jobs placed in the 2011 fiscal year for non-mandatory coop students.

The co-op students themselves are also more than pleased with the current progress that UC’s professional practice division as well.

“With the increase of placement within the professional practice program, it seems that not only are a lot more people willing to co-op, but that there’s an increase in the likelihood of getting a co-op,” said Stan Nasilivech, a third-year finance student.

Nasilivech was chosen as a portfolio management intern at John Investment Counsel this Fall quarter.

Acquiring his position was a lot easier than he had anticipated, Nasilivech said.

Nasilivech mentioned that the co-op program is rewarding in its potential to teach though real world experiences.

“With the increase of co-op placement, there’s an increase in opportunity and a lot of competition, but it seems that everyone wins in the end,” Nasilivech said.

NEWS — NEWSRECORD.ORG —TNR EXTRA —

The University of Cincinnati’s Co-operative Education Program has achieved an alltime high for student job placement since 2001.

UC’s mandatory co-op program has achieved a 95.6 percent placement rate for students in mandatory co-op programs, according to the professional practice division.

The importance of this figure can be traced back to multiple factors, as it not only reflects the tremendous efforts of the university’s professional practice program, but as it also reflects the progress that’s been made in the aftermath of the economic downfall of recent years.

“When the economy works for us, we pretty much get everybody a job,” said Kettil Cedercreutz, associate provost and director of UC’s Division of Professional Practice.

Cedercruetz explained this progression within his program, citing the rise in the economy as a direct influence.

However, Cedercreutz also went on to cite the other side of that spectrum, explaining how,

With the increase of coop placement, there’s an increase in opportunity and a lot of competition, but it seems that everyone wins in the end.

Clermont gets $1.3M dylan mccartney | TNR Contributor

Anna Bentley | Chief Photographer

COPS RECEIVES MONEY The Cincinnati Police Department was given a multi-million dollar grant by the U.S. Justice Department to keep 25 law enforcement officers on the job.

CPD gets some job security matt mahn | tnr contributor

UC Homecoming Traffic Alert when

Friday, Oct. 14 to Saturday, to Oct. 15

where around campus and Paul Brown Stadium UC’s Homecoming parade will affect traffic around campus Friday, Oct. 14. The following streets will be closed due to the parade: • Clifton Avenue, between McMillan Street and Martin Luther King Jr. Drive, will close at 6:30 p.m.

• Martin Luther King Jr. Drive, between Clifton Avenue and Woodside Drive, will be restricted to one lane in each direction starting at approximately 6:45 p.m.

• Also, parking will be unavailable in the above areas from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

• The parade route starts at the corner of Calhoun Street and Clifton Avenue, then proceeds north on Clifton Avenue and ends at the corner of Clifton Avenue and Martin Luther King Jr. Drive

• Federal TRIO Programs are outreach and student services programs identifying and facilitating the academic needs of underprivileged and disadvantaged individuals.

• TRIO includes eight programs and scholarship sources for minorities, women and those with disabilities “The staff of the EOC can put anxieties to rest by helping potential students manage the process of transitioning into the role of actually becoming an enrolled and registered student pursing further education at the post-secondary level,” Appleton said.

They also help prospective students through the process of applying to those institutions, as well as career counseling, academic advising and

aimed at serving and assisting: those from low-income households, first-generation college students and disabled individuals.

• TRIO also includes training programs for directors and staff of TRIO project. referral services, for those services that the EOC is unable to provide.

“We’re privileged to have the EOC program and staff on our [Clermont] campus,” Appleton said. “Their services are invaluable to help first-generation students understand how to manage what seems to be the daunting task of applying for admission, completing financial aid forms, and making decisions about a program of study.”

UC CRIME BLOTTER Oct. 4 to Oct. 11 Wednesday, Oct. 5 What: Theft from a motor vehicle Where: 311- Highland Ave., East Campus When: 3:15 a.m.

Suspect: No arrest Friday, Oct. 7 What: Criminal Damaging Where: 234 Goodman Ave., University Hospital When: 9:30 a.m.

Suspect: No arrest Friday Oct. 7 What: Attempt to make and offense Where 2766 UC MainStreet, West Campus When:11:00 a.m.

Suspect: No arrest Friday Oct. 7 What: Theft Where: 250 Calhoun St., West Campus When: 11:49 a.m.

Suspect: No arrest Sunday Oct. 9 What: Shooting Where: Calhoun Garage, West Campus When: 3:19 a.m.

Suspect: No arrest

IN BRIEF

Langsam Library Presents when

1:3o p.m. to 3 p.m.

Friday, Oct. 28.

where 814 Blegen

UC Libraries presents a candid discussion with renowned book conservator William Minter.

He is best known for his conservation treatment for the 17th century religious testimonial “Martyrs Mirror”, or also known as “The Bloody Theater”. The book is one the principle texts for the Amish and Mennonites.

The talk is free and open to the public.

A question and answer session will follow the discussion.

Refreshments will be served.

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see cOPS | 10

IN BRIEF

What are Federal TRIO Programs?

NEWS — NEWSRECORD.ORG —TNR EXTRA —

Cincinnati Police Department will only receive half of a $13 million grant requested in May by Cincinnati City Manager Milton R. Dohoney, Jr. The grant was requested to secure positions for 44 officers facing layoffs due to significant cuts in the department’s 2011-12 fiscal budget.

CPD applied for the maximum number of officers, 50.

The announcement made Wednesday by the U.S. Department of Justice — that CPD will only receive a $6.5 million Community Oriented Policing Services (COPS) grant to protect the jobs of 25 officers — came as a shock to some, but CPD Sgt. Danita Kilgore remains optimistic about the future of her department.

“We are pleased that we received one of the largest grants awarded under this program and are very pleased we can secure the jobs of 25 officers,” Kilgore said. “Should additional funding or grants be made available in the future that will assist us in furthering the mission of the police department, we will aggressively pursue them.”

The 25 potential officers protected by the grant will find job security for at least four years, Kilgore said.

“Those officers will be funded for three years and must be retained for one year beyond the grant,”

The Educational Opportunity Center (EOC) at the Clermont branch of University of Cincinnati will receive a $1.3 million refund from the U.S. Department of Education.

The refund will be spread over five years, with the college receiving $263,000 per year.

“UC Clermont College is thrilled that the EOC was awarded this five-year grant.” said Ann Appleton, assistant dean of enrollment and student services at UC Clermont.“They are a great support to the community in furthering education,” The EOC — a Federal TRIO program designed to services to individuals from disadvantaged background ­— gives students and other college-bound adults interested in pursuing higher learning information like to take advantage of federal and state financial aid programs, veteran’s education benefits, state and local scholarship programs

Nation & World 5

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3 - Bomber trial begins

The trial for Umar Farouk Abdulmutallabi, the “underwear bomber” from Christmas Day 2010, began in Detroit Tuesday.

4 - Anthony uses fifth

Casey Anthony employed the Fifth Amendment as she was deposed for the civil suit she faces in Orlando, Fla.

5 - Mumps at UCB

Iranian plot to kill Saudi ambassador uncovered Brian bennet | mct washington

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WASHINGTON — U.S. federal agents foiled a plot to kill Adel Al-Jubeir, the Saudi Arabian ambassador to the U.S., officials said Tuesday.

A Drug Enforcement Administration informant posing as a member of a Mexican drug

cartel infiltrated the plot.

The plotters planned to pay a member of the Zetas cartel $1.5 million to carry out the attack, according to officials.

An Iranian-American, Manssor Arbabsiar, 56, has been arrested in the case. An Iran-based member of the secret Quds Force unit of the Iranian Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps,

Gholam Shakuri, was also charged, but is not in custody.

U.S. officials said that Arbabsiar had confessed to the charges and was cooperating with authorities in custody.

The State Department has listed Iran as a state sponsor of terrorism since 1984.

For more details, visit www. newsrecord.org/nation-world

habib zohori | mcclatchy newspapers

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KABUL, Afghanistan — The United Nations on Monday said that suspected Taliban detainees are routinely beaten and tortured in detention

TAKING OVER CONTROL Afghan recruits train in the summer heat under American and Brittish leadership at the ANA, Afghan National Army complex.

see PRISONERS | 10

7 - DREAM Act era expands

Governor Jerry Brown signed legislation Saturday allowing undocumented immigrant college students access to public financial aid, marking California’s relatively liberal ground in a bitter row over immigration nationwide.

8- DPRK poisons pastor

South Korean officials claim that North Korean operatives are responsible for the poisoning death of a pastor in China Monday.

9 - Iraq: U.S. troops stay longer

Iraq has requested that more than 5,000 U.S. military trainers stay on past the formal U.S. withdrawal date of Dec. 31, and it’s awaiting a “yes or no” from the United States, according to a statement that President Jalal Talabani issued late Monday.

10 - Egyptian violence continues At least 22 people were killed and another 327 were injured in clashes between military police and Coptic Christian protesters in the latest eruption of violence highlighting Egypt’s deepening sectarian divisions since President Hosni Mubarak was driven from power in February.

11 - Japan cleans up

Radioactive cesium released from the Fukushima No. 1 nuclear plant in March likely has not affected fruit and leaves that grew in areas nearby after the nuclear plant reactor core meltdown disaster, the Japan Atomic Energy Agency said Saturday.

12 - Saleh might resign

Yemeni President Ali Abdullah Saleh said Saturday he plans to step down “in the coming days,” in another speech in which he attacked his opponents as terrorists and criminals. “I reject power and I will reject it in the coming days and will give it up,” he told a meeting with parliamentarians.

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DAVID SWANSON | MCT

centers run by Afghanistan’s police and spy agency.

The U.N. said it based its findings on interviews conducted with 379 pre-trial detainees and convicted prisoners at 47 detention centers in 22 provinces between October 2010 and August 2011.

The 74-page report said the interviews uncovered evidence of “the use of interrogation techniques that constitute torture under international law and crimes under Afghan law, as well as other forms of mistreatment.”

It said beating and torture was applied “systemically” in detention centers run by the National Directorate of Security, Afghanistan’s spy agency.

Forty-six percent of 273 detainees interviewed in the Afghan spy agency’s detention centers told U.N. interviewers that they had been subjected to different forms of torture while they were interrogated. The abuse often included sexual humiliation.

Beyond physical mistreatment, many prisoners also said they had been held beyond the maximum allowed by law and denied family visits, the report said.

6 - iPhone orders in millions

More than 1 million people ordered the iPhone 4S in the first 24 hours the smartphone was on sale, Apple Inc. announced Monday.

NATION & WORLD — NEWSRECORD.ORG —TNR EXTRA —

UN: Prisoners tortured, humiliated while in Afghan military custody

A University of California, Berkeley student contracted mumps on a trip to Europe and infected others upon returning to campus. Up to 44 people have been now been diagnosed with the disease, state public health officials said Monday.

sam weinberg | sports EDITOR

eamon queeney | photo editor

TOUGH AS NAILS [above] The Keg of Nails rivalry was started in 1929, when both teams met for the first time. The winning team received the Keg of Nails trophy, signifying that they were “tough as nails.” [below left] The Bearcats celebrate and hoist the Keg following last season’s victory againt their rival UofL.

UC plans to make some angry birds this weekend in longstanding football rivalry pat strang | Assistant photo

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—TNR EXTRA — NEWSRECORD.ORG — COVER STORY

editor

THE KEG The STAND Bearcats have kept the Keg of Nails at UC for the past three years.

Louisville’s last win came in 2007, when the Cardinals defeated the Bearcats 2824 at Nippert Stadium.

sam greene | managing editor

WINNING IN LOUISVILLE In last season’s meeting, the Univeristy of Cincinnati defeated the Universtiy of Louisville 35-27 at Papa John’s Stadium in Louisville, Ky., in front of 55,106 fans — the second largest crowd to attend a game at Papa John’s Stadium.

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Cincinnati 10 Louisville 7

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Cincinnati 28 Louisville 9

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Cincinnati 19 Louisville 62

Cincinnati 13 Louisville 23

Cincinnati 24 Louisville 38

Cincinnati 13 Louisville 28

Cincinnati 24 Louisville 14

Cincinnati 40 Louisville 43

Where there’s been the University of Cincinnati, there’s been the University of Louisville.

The rivalry between the two schools is one of the oldest in college football, spanning across 82 years and three conferences.

It’s the oldest rivalry in UofL history, whose football team has been around since 1912, and the second-oldest rivalry at UC — one of the five oldest programs in the country that dates back to 1885 — just behind the Cincinnati-Miami (OH) rivalry.

The two teams met for the first time Oct. 2, 1929, when the Bearcats defeated the Cardinals 7-0 on Louisville’s home turf.

The two teams took a nine-year break following their first meeting, but resumed playing in 1938 and met again during the 1940, ’41 and ’42 seasons — all of which were Bearcat victories.

Following the 1942 season, the Interstate-71 rivals took another break from playing and wouldn’t meet again on the gridiron until 1950, and then again in 1951 and ’53.

The rivalry didn’t become an annual tradition until 1966, however, when both teams were members of the Missouri Valley Conference.

The yearly meetings continued through 1992, and then briefly stopped, with no meetings in 1993-95. The rivalry was again resumed in 1996, however, after both teams joined Conference USA in 1995.

Since then, the two teams have moved the rivalry to the Big East conference and have met each season.

Cincinnati currently leads the series 29-20-1. The Bearcats’ longest reign came in the beginning of the rivalry, when Cincinnati won the first 12 games.

Louisville didn’t get its first win until 1970, when the Cardinals defeated the Bearcats 28-14.

The only tie in the rivalry happened in 1977, when both teams played to a 17-17 decision.

Cardinals 35-27 in front of 55,106 fans at Papa John’s Stadium in Louisville, Ky. This season, UC (4-1) and UofL (2-3) will meet for the first time in the rivalry’s history at Paul Brown Stadium, where the Bearcats are 0-2.

In last season’s game at Paul Brown against Oklahoma University, many in attendance were Sooners fans, and UC head coach Butch Jones stressed the importance of bringing the home-field advantage from Nippert Stadium down to Paul Brown this year.

“We’re looking forward to [playing at Paul Brown], but make no bones about it — we love Nippert Stadium,” Jones said. “We need to make Paul Brown a home-field advantage.”

Entering the week, the Bearcats are ranked ninth in the Football Bowl Subdivision in scoring offense, averaging 45 points per game, and are second in the Big East in rushing offense — averaging 220 yards per game.

Bearcats senior running back Isaiah Pead enters the game with 473 yards and seven touchdowns, averaging 6.6 yards per carry.

Cincinnati won’t have an easy time putting up points however, as Louisville’s defense is ranked 16th

It’s all about discipline. It’s disciplining the rush; it’s the secondary with their eye discipline ... it’s the same things we stress on a daily and weekly basis.

—butch jones uc head football coach

nationally in total defense and 13th in scoring defense.

“We’re going to be challenged this week by a really good Louisville football team,” Jones said. “When you look at them, you think defense right away. They’re a very aggressive, physical and athletic team.”

Defensively, the Bearcats have limited their last two opponents to a total of -29 rushing yards and should have little issue stopping UofL’s run game, which is averaging just 116.6 yards per game — third lowest in the Big East — and has scored just two rushing touchdowns this season.

Through the air, Louisville’s pass offense ranks fourth in the conference, averaging 348.6 yards per game.

“Offensively, they have a ton of speed and a ton of skill, and again, they’re very athletic,” Jones said.

Louisville quarterback Teddy Bridgewater is a dual-threat QB who can attack defenses through the air and on the ground and will be the first dual-threat signal caller the Bearcats will face this season; however, Jones said he’s not worried about his team’s ability to contain him.

“It’s all about discipline,” Jones said. “It’s disciplining your points on the quarterback.

It’s disciplining the rush; it’s the secondary The first year the teams played one another. The keg was with their eye discipline and not coming out of coverage, and so it’s the same things we initiated between fraternity chapters on the two campuses. stress on a daily and weekly basis.”

One of Cincinnati’s biggest strengths UC leads the series As is customary for most college rivalries, this season has been its ability the UC,UofL series revolves around a The original Keg of Nails was during an to create turnovers. The Bearcats coveted trophy — the Keg of Nails. are ranked third in the nation office construction project.

Since the two teams’ first meeting in with 18 forced turnovers — nine 1929, the keg has been controlled and interceptions and nine forced fumbles have been in the Missouri Valley Conference, displayed by the winning school.

— and are ranked second, averaging Conference USA and the Big East together.

The Keg of Nails trophy is a replica of 2.4 turnovers per game. a keg that was used to ship nails, and the Louisville, on the other hand, has had in the keg, and no one knows if there ever There are traveling trophy is believed to have been trouble securing the ball and has nine were any. initiated by fraternity chapters from both turnovers on the season. campuses to signify that the winning team “When you look at it, they’ve hurt The only year there was a tie was “as tough as nails.” themselves — a lot of it has been selfThe current Keg is actually a replacement inflicted things,” Jones said. “For them, .

The trophy signifies the winning team is of the original trophy, as the first Keg of it’s just a matter of bringing it all together, Nails was lost by Louisville during an office which they will, because they’re a very construction project. talented football team.”

Currently, despite the name, there are no nails The Cardinals also have just 11 returning in the keg, and no one knows if there ever were any starters from last season — seven on defense to begin with. and four on offense — and were ranked 119th out of 120 by Phil Steele’s pre-season magazine in returning experience.

Saturday’s game between UofL and UC marks the Kickoff is set for noon, 51st meeting in the Keg of Nails rivalry. and the game will be televised In last season’s matchup, the Bearcats defeated the on ESPN3 and the Big East Network.

* 1929:

29-20-1 lost by Louisville

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* Both teams * 1977: *

“tough as nails”

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COVER STORY— NEWSRECORD.ORG —TNR EXTRA —

no nails

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: TAILS HEADS OR

SHOULD UC BAIL TO C-USA?

Imagine, if you will, a Big East conference without Syracuse, Pittsburgh and Connecticut. A conference devoid of competition. Imagine, in a world of college sports rocked by conference realignment, that the University of Cincinnati faces an important decision. A crucial decision. Option No. 1: Remain in the Big East. Remain loyal to a BCS conference. Represent the “C” and stay loyal to our word, or option No. 2: Return to Conference USA, enter a new world of unrivaled Bearcat dominance and almost guaranteed post-season berths year after year. The choice might be obvious, but the question remains: heads or tails?

EIGHT

—TNR EXTRA — NEWSRECORD.ORG — SPORTS

Cakewalk to NCAA tourney

Yo, Mickey Bronin here, head coach of the UC basketball team. You might also know me as LaSalle’s favorite son, a.k.a. “White Lighting,” as I was called on the hardwood before my career was derailed because of a knee injury.

Anyway, I’ve been saying it for years: Conference USA will always be our home.

If we rejoin, no more will I have to worry about making March Madness.

As I always say in my press conferences, the Big East is the toughest conference in America — and I want out.

If we left for C-USA, we would never have to play Villanova, Marquette, Notre Dame or Louisville again. Just saying that makes my abs shake with joy.

Who’s good in C-USA these days?

Memphis? UAB? I’ve seen tougher teams in my youth basketball camps.

I know the move would hurt our football team, but who cares? This is a basketball town, baby. Cincinnati eats, sleeps and breathes UC hoops (and I guess those pencil-pushing nerds across town draw a decent crowd, too).

How have we not left already? Don’t people get it? High seeds in March Madness.

Every. Single. Year. Does that get anyone else’s blood pumping? It does mine.

No more will we have to take part in the Not-Important-Tournament. Our talent will be leagues above the other chumps in C-USA. You think any one of those saps at Rice or Marshall will be able to stop Yancy Gates? Forget about it. All they have is C-minus talent. Maybe.

Come on UC, I deserve this. I cleaned up the mess left by Hooligan Huggins.

Now it’s Mickey’s time to dance to his own jig, baby, and dance it on every C-USA court after we blow out those chumpettes.

What? Come at me, bro.

MICKEY

BRO NIN

& BUTCH

BRO NES

(Note: This isn’t real. This is clearly satire.)

Hold the rope in Big East ranks I have to admit; I’m very disappointed to see Pittsburgh and Syracuse abandon the Big East conference, and even worse, to see Texas Christian University jump ship without even testing the waters.

Despite my feelings, these young men have no business returning to Conference USA. The Bearcats have held the rope in the Big East for too long to be associated with such acts as Marshall’s Thundering Herd or the East Carolina Pirates. Ten years and one C-USA title was time enough to represent the C in the lowly, 16-year-old conference — been there, done that.

While a nearly guaranteed berth to the Hawaii Bowl is enticing, it would be an insult to this program to lower itself to a sub-par standard of mental toughness in order keep the conference competitive.

Since joining the Big East conference, this football team has continued a tradition of developing head coaches for positions at bigger schools with fatter paychecks and more TV time. After coming to UC from the Mid-American Conference, I thought I would right on track to make that next leap like Mark Dantonio and Brian Kelly have in the last few years.

A slip and fall into C-USA would be like going to jail — going directly to jail and not passing GO. A conference hop might play into an NCAA cake walk for my buddy Mick, but come on, bro, what do you think the odds are of Erin Andrews ever coming to town to cover a rivalry game between the Bearcats and the Memphis Tigers?

Remix your playlist with recent releases ALBUM ALERT

tom seiple | senior reporter This week marks another round of fantastic releases in the alternative genre.

Radiohead – “TKOL RMX 1234567” Radiohead just released this huge album of remixes.

The group is notorious for releasing great remixes

courtesy of mct campus

RADIOHEAD GETS REMIXED “TKOL RMX 1234567” features synth-based sounds fans will love. Here, Radiohead performs at Lollapalooza August 1, 2008 in Chicago, Ill.

and doing work with hip-hop artists on some of their more electronica-driven songs. The album is good fun for Radiohead fans; fans of synth-based music and hip-hop will love it, too. It’s always fun to see other people’s takes on Thom Yorke’s work with the band.

Tokyo Police Club – “10X10X10” Tokyo Police Club is already a high-energy band, and this cover album showcases the affinity the band has for fun. The lineup includes some well-travelled rock songs like “Southside” by Moby and “Sweetness” by Jimmy Eat World that show maturity in selection, while tracks like “Since U Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson or “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus shows the band’s sense of humor. I truly enjoy the interpretation of these tracks and how true to their own sound Tokyo Police Clubs keeps.

Erasure – “Tomorrow’s Road” If you’re like me and you’re a little ashamed to admit that you like Auto-Tune around other people who consider themselves a music connoisseur, maybe Erasure is a happy medium.There’s plenty of bass on these tracks and something like an ’80s song mixed with modern club techno. This album is a great dance record with refreshing approaches. I dare you not to start fist pumping with these songs.

A Lot Like Birds – “Conversation Piece” My love for post-hardcore is never satisfied, and A Lot Like Birds crushes post-hardcore punk up, mixes it in with a little psychedelic rock and grinds out a smooth album that punches listeners in the gut. There’s a borderline identity crisis in the middle of this complex album, but I really enjoy

the way A Lot Like Birds attacks the genre stereotypes head on.

Jack’s Mannequin – “People and Things” I wasn’t a fan of “The Glass Passenger,” but I’m pleased to say that “People and Things” sounds much less like that release and much more like “Everything In Transit.” There are far fewer pop-punk overtones in this new album, and listeners will find it easy to digest and very expansive. It’s a great listen for a night home alone with a good book.

Cartel – “In Stereo” Cartel is making a certain return to my list of favorite bands. Their most recent album seemed a bit rushed and had a prepackaged feel, but this EP is less produced and homier. It’s a fun listen while we still have summer weather left in October.

Look Mexico – “Real Americans Spear It” Look Mexico’s style grows with time, and so does the quality of their songs. Every track is named after a Vin Diesel quote, adding to the quirkiness of their work. Their old material is extremely fun, but lacks melodic direction. While their new direction may lean more toward pop rock, I feel fairly certain that they haven’t departed from their math-rock and early emo roots. They do, with this album, what Sunny Day Real Estate never did. They bridge pop music with more alternative rock scenes.

Mutemath – “Odd Soul” Two years ago I saw Mutemath at Bogart’s and can say with see alert | 10

No fist pumps from actual Jersey Shore native j. patrik hornak | tnr contributor

courtesy of mct campus

LIVING THE DREAM Despite how Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi represents Jersey Shore, Hornak argues that it’s far from party central.

NINE

Pennsylvanian, Midwestern and more, the allure of the place is as undeniable as it is unique.

This day was different, however, and not in a good way. This was the first summer since the debut of “Jersey Shore.”

Beach shops that used to sell boogie boards, hermit crabs and lacrosse sticks were now hawking shirts that said “Come at me bro,” “The Situation,” and “GTL”— catering to the throngs of Snooki-groupies who were apparently flocking from across the country.

Away from the tourist traps, the Jersey Shore is a family-oriented place of sunset dinners and Sunday-morning church services on the beach. It is a place of beautiful seashore architecture, colorful flower gardens, distant moans of a foghorn, perpetually-sunburnt noses, surfing, fishing, seaglass collecting and fireworks watching. The Shore is bike rides to the bakery, tennis games, morning jogs to the inlet and plenty of late-night ice cream.

It’s the stuff of the American Dream, and it is my home. As a Shore native, seeing things like boogie boards replaced with “Fist Pump Champ” T-shirts puts an instant knot in my stomach.

It’s not a cute joke; it’s an attack on a lifestyle.

ENTERTAINMENT — NEWSRECORD.ORG —TNR EXTRA —

I honestly do not know of any Jersey Shore native that is a fist-pumping champion, nor do we aspire to be. We much prefer boogie boarding. You are more likely to find a Shore guy or gal tacking their sailboat than tapping the draft.

But the Jersey Shore, thanks to a famous television show by the same name, is now one of the most misunderstood regions in America.

No, the entire 127-mile-long New Jersey coastline is not swamped with fist-pumping Italian Americans (“guidos” and “guidettes”) named Snooki. Life does not revolve around the so-called “gym, tanning, laundry” routine. And certainly not everyone is being dragged off of beaches by police officers.

I know this because the Jersey Shore is my home.

While neither Snooki nor The Situation are natives of the Jersey Shore — or New Jersey at all — they romp around the country as self-proclaimed ambassadors of my homeland. I, in fact, am a native of coastal New Jersey. I was born in a town called Point Pleasant Beach, in a hospital overlooking the salty Manasquan River, less than 400 yards from the Atlantic Ocean, and only a few miles north of Seaside Heights, the community which

plays host to MTV’s “Jersey Shore.”

If Snooki and her “Jersey” cohorts have been in New Jersey since 2009, maybe she would like to know that my family has been there since 1729, nearly 50 years before the signing of The Declaration of Independence.

My predecessors have been lighthouse keepers, clammers, crabbers, fishermen, cranberry farmers, carpenters, and have even helped to found the community of New Gretna, N.J. My late grandfather’s blood, sweat and tears went into the construction of casinos, hotels, bridges, power plants, roller coasters, dozens of Shore houses and the winding roadway which brings all of those “guidos” to our beaches, yacht clubs and parking spaces: the Garden State Parkway.

But who’s keeping score, right?

Last summer, my family and I were enjoying the salty air on the legendary Seaside Heights boardwalk as we had done hundreds of times before. For decades, “Seaside” has been the place to go for amusement rides, arcades, gamesof-chance and authentic Jersey pizza, all within a shell’s toss of the Atlantic Ocean and one of New Jersey’s most popular beaches.

To people young and old, tan and pale, big and small, New Jerseyan, New Yorker,

From alert | 9

From PRISONERS | 5

confidence they are some of teh greatest musicians and performers I’ll ever see in my lifetime. This album is no exception. It’s a departure from Mutemath’s self-titled album, but if you put aside the change in attitude and genre, the album is a masterpiece of dirty rock music.

Darren King, the band’s drummer, has never been cut loose this much on a studio album before, and he does so with class. A real toe-tapper and full of subtly, this album is worth three or four listens before making a judgment call on its depth, because there’s so much going on in these tracks.

From alert | 9 “Of course, the truth of the matter is, most Democrats know just as well as I do that passing another stimulus and tax hike is a lousy idea – which is why the President is having such a hard time convincing many Democrats to vote for it,” McConnell said. “So here’s what they’ve decided to do instead. Democrats have designed this bill to fail – they’ve designed their own bill to fail – in the hopes that anyone who votes against it will look bad for opposing a bill they misleadingly refer to as a ‘jobs bill.’ ”

“Electric shock, twisting and wrenching of detainees’ genitals, stress positions including forced standing, removal of toenails and threatened sexual abuse were among other forms of torture that detainees reported,” the report said.

The U.N. said it had taken into consideration Afghan government concerns that prisoners might lie about their treatment to discredit the police and security forces.

Afghanistan’s interior minister, Bismillah Khan Mohammedi, the head of the National Security Directorate, denied the allegations last month when

From JOBS | 3

From COPS | 4

preservation ploy by the Democrats, he said.

“Of course, the truth of the matter is, most Democrats know just as well as I do that passing another stimulus and tax hike is a lousy idea – which is why the President is having such a hard time convincing many Democrats to vote for it,” McConnell said. “So here’s what they’ve decided to do instead. Democrats have designed this bill to fail – they’ve designed their own bill to fail – in the hopes that anyone who votes against it will look bad for opposing a bill they misleadingly refer to as a ‘jobs bill.’ ”

TEN

—TNR EXTRA — NEWSRECORD.ORG

cro s s w ord

for answers to this week’s crossword, go to newsrecord.org

word of the report’s likely findings were leaked. A statement issued then said the Afghan government “made sure human rights are respected and prisoners are not mistreated.”

But the U.S.-led International Security Assistance Force last month stopped transferring detainees to Afghan detention facilities and is now negotiating with the Afghan government ways to monitor the treatment of detainees in Afghan custody. It is a violation of international law for one country to surrender a prisoner to another if it is likely that prisoner will be tortured.

Kilgore said.

While the number of protected officers is certain, some details regarding the grant and how it can be used by CPD are up to City Council, Kilgore said.

“The 2012 budget is still being worked on for City Council,” Kilgore said. “We will continue to work to enhance efficiencies but do not know the overall affect until the 2012 budget is approved by council.”

But despite uncertainties, Kilgore said she still appreciates the department’s monetary aid.

“The COPS hiring grant is a competitive grant,” Kilgore said.

“The city of Cincinnati was never guaranteed any funding.”

Across

Down

1 Unexpected delivery 16 War novel that became a Gary Cooper film 17 Cypress and others 18 ‘03 retirees 19 Get ready to dry 20 Window shopper’s buy?

21 Nabisco trademark 23 Ring up?

25 Gem 28 The Oscars, e.g.

32 Start of a cheer 33 Numismatist’s prize 39 It has collars and stays 40 Hoop spot 41 Source of many tiny animals 42 Some bling 43 Jazz __ 44 Fix the boundaries of 45 Cinnabar, vis-à-vis mercury 46 Western resort at 6,200 feet 48 Suspensefully held in 50 Phil, for one 53 Annual employee review contributor 55 AMA and ADA 58 Chemist for whom a flask is named 60 Uses up one’s minutes, and then some 64 Dissident’s request 67 Tons to do 68 Military priority

1 Pollen is produced in them 2 Sci-fi vehicles 3 Many a Lewis Black bit 4 Break site 5 Whistling zebra?

6 “If Only __ a Butterfly”: Imogen Heap song 7 Comic intro?

8 Carolina university 9 Luxurious 10 In a fog 11 Simple place to rest 12 Chess champ after Fischer 13 __ 51 14 Original name of the radio show “Gang Busters” 15 Brutus’s being 22 Increase one’s home’s value, in a way 24 McCartney song inspired by a dream 25 Baking aid 26 Bride’s accessory 27 Star known by her first name 29 Al’s nemesis 30 Shiny shell lining 31 Rough cloth 34 Rage 35 Not a whit 36 __ Friday’s 37 Filmmaker Peckinpah 38 Recording giant 47 Like some inspections 49 Knitter’s pattern 51 Minneapolis suburb 52 Behind-the-lines job 53 Reacted to bad news, maybe 54 Remove 55 Shimmering swimmer 56 Caramel-in-chocolate brand 57 Latch (onto) 59 “Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo” prop 61 Film composer Menken with eight Oscars 62 Protests 63 Hook’s right hand 65 “My mama done __ me ...”

66 Letters on the beach

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9519 Haddington Ct Cincinnati, OH 45251, 2 bedroom 2 1/2 bath condo for sale: new complete renovation, track lighting, loft type basement, all new appliances with warranties through 2012, dishwasher and disposal, new storm windows, Italian style porcelain tile throughout, private parking area, outdoor lighting, fenced in/pet-friendly patio, privacy fences, water included, Northgate area, $65,000, calls in evening 513741-4832

We are currently looking for parttime reps for business to business phone sales. The position pays an hourly plus commission. Perfect opportunity for college students who may be looking for a flexible work schedule. Call Scott today to arrange an interview. 513-2446542.

Family seeking after school babysitter. 10-15 hours a week in the Mason area. Must be able to drive. Call Julie at 513-418-1793.

Movie Extras to stand in the background for a major film.

Exprience not required. Earn up to $300 per day 877-465-5469.

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privacy fences, water included, Northgate area, $55,000, calls in evening 513-741-4832 One, two, three, four bedrooms and studios. Walk to UC. FREE UTILITIES! Hardwood, laundry, dishwasher, parking. Deposit special with approval. Call 513-6512339.

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eleven

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EFFICIENCIES, 1-BEDROOM, 2-BEDROOM, 3-BEDROOM in HYDE PARK for rent in excellent condition. New appliances including dishwashers, A/C. HEAT and WATER paid. Balcony, pool use, 10 minutes from UC. New kitchens and bathrooms.

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Starting at $560 per month.

Contact us at 513-477-2920 or pgspropertiesincincinnati@gmail. com.

9521 Haddington Ct Cincinnati, OH 45251, 3 bedroom 1 1/2 bath for sale, many upgrades, newer appliances, washer/dryer, antique steel desk, new king-sized bed, other furniture, professionally cleaned, private parking area,

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