I recently got back from two weeks on the road with my mother. She took my car to visit her brother in Chicago for two weeks –he had a knee replacement. Later, I took the train and she picked me up at Union Station. From there we drove cross-country through Indiana and Michigan. Most of the way it was raining, sleeting, or windy, but we both love road trips, so that didn’t bother us much. (Incidentally, we were on our way to Toronto.)
We travel so well together; we both like to sleep late at hotels, we both travel with way too much luggage, and we both prefer to see where the day takes us, rather than planning too much. It’s all well and good to know where you’re going, but what if you see a sign for the World’s Largest Ball of Twine just 40 miles east?
Of course, it’s important to stop often for local pastries and small wineries, too. And you never know what treasures can be unearthed
at the obscure local Museum of History in Bad Axe, Michigan.
Road trip cuisine is also a treat. Mom and I rarely eat in chain restaurants even at home, so we are always on the lookout for a small mom-and-pop place with checkered oilcloth on the tables and fresh flowers in a bud vase. We’ve learned through long experience to order the special –no matter what it is – or to select the first thing on the menu, which is usually what the restaurant is famous for. Although we are both foodies, neither mom nor I is a huge eater – we always split something. This has a fortuitous upside: there’s always room for dessert!
This Mother’s Day we’ll likely take a trip to New Orleans. Mom says there are three bakeries which have King Cakes year-round, a thought which brings a smile to my face.
Until next time, Happy Mother’s Day and happy travels!
Lifestyles After 50
Volume 36, Issue 5
Published by Connected Community Media Group Publisher@lifestylesafter50.com
Editor Michele Baker
Michele.Baker@lifestylesafter50.com
Website Editor Allie Shaw
Allie.Shaw@lifestylesafter50.com
Distribution Distribution@lifestylesafter50.com 813-336-8247
Joe Gess: 813-817-9855 Joe.Gess@lifestylesafter50.com
Joan Marchand Joan.Marchand@lifestylesafter50.com Bob Hart Bob.Hart@lifestylesafter50.com
Photo by James Patterson
Mother’s Day with Your Big Bad Kids
Let’s face it. There would be no celebration of Mother’s Day if we didn’t have children. That’s pretty straight forward. But what happens when our little darlings are grown? Role reversal is everywhere and it is out of control. Here’s one example.
Recently, I met my friend Kate at an outdoor café for a coffee chitchat. She wanted me to meet her because she had to unload. This is what she said: “I have an interesting relationship with my adult children. I do everything they tell me to, and frankly I’m a pretty good kid. Daily, I walk the fine line between humiliation and humility. Humility –good. Humiliated – not so good.”
By Patricia Finn
Kate’s daughter was scolding, scolding, scolding. “She had me on the phone for over thirty minutes and would not stop long enough for me to offer any type of defense. By the time she finished, I’d forgotten what I wanted to say. She was relentless. When will I ever get it right? It can be anything from sending an email to managing my finances. I don’t think I am going to change; why can’t she focus on my good points?”
This is not an uncommon problem. It seems to be everywhere. I overheard a woman from a different ethnic background say she was going to move out of her daughter’s house and into a tent on family land to escape the nagging. She had been invited to live with her daughter but after three months, her bags were packed, and she was ready to go.
How does this role reversal happen? It happens mostly to moms and especially to moms who no longer have a dad to filter the noise. Now that they are grown, our grown children want to be our parents. Well-meaning adults are parenting the parent.
Kate ended the call, “Well thanks for your input, I have to go, I’m about to crash into a tree.” I am a pessimist when it comes to solving family drama, but I did manage to give my friend some oh-so-wise advice.
First, I tried to soothe her hurt feelings by telling her she was a peacemaker. “Yes,” she sniffled, “But what makes it so tricky, is that the criticism is usually right. It’s valid, but maybe I shouldn’t have to hear it.” Always willing to comfort a friend, I offered, “Don’t worry, maybe you’ll go deaf.”
So, to the Kates of this world, I commiserate. I offer compassionate condolences, words of encouragement and a simple word of advice. When they scold, scold, scold: listen, listen, listen… but with the phone away from your ear. (Obviously, not something I have ever done.)
I also like the tent idea.
A final thought: to moms everywhere this Mother’s Day, may your children be kind. And remember, they may be adults, but are they ever really too old to spank?
May is Hearing Health Awareness Month: Revolutionizing Hearing Solutions
Amy Pajula
For the nearly 15% of American adults, or approximately 37.5 million people affected by hearing loss, hearing loss is dismissed as a natural part of aging instead of a progressive condition that can have longterm consequences if left unaddressed.
The True Impact of Hearing Loss and Aging
With a rapidly growing aging population, and with one in three seniors over the age of 60 and nearly half of those over 75 experience hearing loss, it’s important to understand the consequences of not treating it.
The National Institute for Aging warns that hearing loss has social, emotional, and cognitive effects, indicating that those experiencing hearing loss may become more socially isolated, have a higher risk of developing dementia, and show more rapid cognitive decline. Some older adults suffering from hearing loss become depressed and withdrawn when conversing becomes increasingly difficult. Current treatments for hearing impairment such as hearing aids and cochlear implants require externally worn components that don’t allow fulltime night and day hearing. Hearing aids don’t work for everyone, leaving many untreated.
As we age, our abilities change and issues such as limited dexterity, low vision, mobility issues, or cognitive decline can make managing an external device impossible. The inability to hear at night can affect safety, independence, and quality of life.
A New Era of Hearing Innovation
Envoy Medical, a medical device company, is focused on providing two key products: the Esteem® Fully Implanted Active Middle Ear Implant (FI-AMEI) and the investigational Fully Implanted Acclaim® Cochlear Implant. The Esteem implant is the only FDA-approved, fully implanted hearing device for adults diagnosed with moderate to severe sensorineural hearing loss allowing for 24/7 hearing capability using the ear’s natural anatomy. It is implanted, invisible, and requires no externally worn components in the ear canal or elsewhere to function. Envoy’s piezoelectric sensor technology is designed to utilize the ear’s natural anatomy to capture sound instead of relying on a conventional external microphone.
Visit www.envoymedical.com for more information.
Social
Information from Social Security Administration
WHAT IS A “QUALIFIED ALIEN” IN REGARDS TO SSI?
Question: To be able to receive SSI benefits what type of status is eligible?
Answer: To get SSI, you must be a citizen or national of the United States, or a non–citizen who meets the alien eligibility criteria under the 1996 legislation and its amendments.
Question: When is a non-citizen eligible for SSI? And what is a “qualified alien”?
Answer: Beginning August 22, 1996, most non–citizens must meet two requirements to be eligible for SSI. The non–citizen must be in a qualified alien category, and must meet a condition that allows qualified aliens to get SSI benefits.
A non–citizen must also meet all of the other requirements for SSI eligibility, including the limits on income, resources, etc.
Who Is a “Qualified Alien”?
There are seven categories of non–citizens who are qualified aliens. You are a "qualified alien" if the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) says you are in one of these categories:
1. Lawfully admitted for Permanent Residence (LAPR) in the U.S., including "Amerasian immigrant" as defined in P.L. 100-202, with a class of admission AM-1 through AM-8;
2. Granted conditional entry under Section 203(a)(7) of the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) as in effect before April 1, 1980;
3. Paroled into the U.S. under Section 212(d)(5) of the INA for a period of at least one year;
4. Refugee admitted to the U.S. under Section 207 of the INA;
5. Granted asylum under Section 208 of the INA;
6. Deportation is being withheld under Section 243(h) of the INA as in effect before April 1, 1997, or removal is being withheld under Section 241(b)(3) of the INA;
7. A “Cuban or Haitian entrant” under Section 501(e) of the Refugee Education Assistance Act of 1980 or in a status that is to be treated as a “Cuban/Haitian entrant” for SSI purposes.
Mother’s Day, Memories & Simplifying Our “Stuff”
It’s two weeks until Mother’s Day, and I’m thinking about what to get my own mother as a gift. Luckily, she’s the kind of mom who will point to an item and say, “That’s what I want for my [birthday/Christmas/Mother’s Day] –let’s buy it now and you can wish me [happy birthday/Merry Christmas/ happy Mother’s Day] later.”
That said, she’s also the kind of mother who doesn’t necessarily want stuff.
By Michele D. Baker
Our family recently had a long, indepth discussion about the fact that we need to simplify now that all the kids, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren are grown up. There’s no longer a need to buy lots of presents. In fact, as a group, we decided that Christmas 2024 was the last major holiday where we would exchange gifts; instead, we plan to give handmade cards and cultivate interesting, fun, or unusual experiences.
Everyone in my family loves to travel, so we’re taking a family cruise later this fall. We have also stepped up eating out together at new restaurants – something I find fabulous but my brother, who is a picky eater, is less fond of. My sister-in-law likes bowling, so we sometimes head down to Fannin Lanes. (We are all terrible, but we end up laughing so hard, even wearing rented shoes seems fun.) This summer, we’re planning to take an online wine education course from the San Francisco Wine School.
This increasing urge to simplify extends to getting rid of things that I’m no longer using.
This one is tough for me, since I carry my memories in my stuff. Even though I no longer fit into that raggedy, too-small T-shirt, it’s the one dad gave me on my tenth birthday, and can I really throw it away? I’ve read that book nine times, but what if I want to read it again someday? Yes, I already
have too many nearly identical end tables, but those three belonged to Aunt Fanny and so I feel obliged to keep them.
A friend sent me a story of a woman who, when she moved out of her house after 50 years living there, took photos of all her “stuff” that wouldn’t fit in the new condo. She printed the photos, pasted them into an album, and wrote loving descriptions and memories of each item next to the photos.
She then sold the furniture, sent some clothing to thrift and resale shops, made gifts of some of the finer pieces to her grandchildren, and ended up with a tidy little nest egg and a new home containing only those things she really loved. She also created for herself a new rule for her small condo: if she brought something into the house, she had to take something else out. (Talk about “reduce, reuse, recycle”!)
This Mother’s Day, mom and I will find somewhere beautiful to go, or something delicious to eat, and I’ll definitely buy a gorgeous card with loving sentiments on it. But the gift I give her this year will be my love, my respect, and some good, old-fashioned quality time
THE HEALTHY GEEZER
Incorrigible Caffeine
Q. Does caffeine bother you more the older you get?
Sensitivity to caffeine—the pick-me-up in coffee— tends to increase as you get older. Children metabolize caffeine quicker than adults.
About 90 percent of Americans consume caffeine daily. More than half of all American adults consume more than 300 milligrams of caffeine every day, making it America's most popular drug.
Caffeine occurs naturally in many plants, including coffee beans, tea leaves and cocoa nuts. It is therefore found in a wide range of food products. Caffeine is added artificially to many others, including a variety of beverages. The most common sources of caffeine for Americans are coffee, tea, colas, chocolate and some over-thecounter medications.
Here are some useful numbers to help you determine how much caffeine you take in:
• 6-oz. cup of coffee—100 mg
• 6-oz. cup of black tea—70 mg
• 12-oz. can of cola—50 mg
• 1 oz. of chocolate—6 mg
• 1 tablet of Extra Strength Excedrin—65 mg
• 1 tablet of Anacin—32 mg
• 1 tablet of Maximum Strength NoDoz—200 mg
For most people, 200 to 300 milligrams a day aren't harmful. But, if you are sensitive to caffeine or use of certain drugs, you may want to cut down or eliminate caffeine from your diet. Your caffeine consumption is worth discussing with your doctor.
Caffeine can cause restlessness, anxiety, irritability, muscle tremors, sleeplessness, headaches, nausea, diarrhea and abnormal heart rhythms.
Some medicines and supplements interact negatively with caffeine. These include some antibiotics and bronchodilators. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist about whether caffeine might affect the medicines you take.
In the practice of medicine, caffeine is useful as a cardiac stimulant and also as a mild diuretic. Caffeine is an addictive drug. It stimulates like amphetamines, cocaine, and heroin.
If you feel you must have caffeine every day, then you are addicted to it. Eliminating caffeine suddenly can cause withdrawal symptoms, such as headaches and fatigue. These symptoms usually pass after several days.
Here are some tips if you want to chase the caffeine monkey:
Read labels carefully for ingredients and keep track of the caffeine you consume.
Gradually reduce the amount of caffeine you take in. This will enable you to acclimate to less caffeine and reduce the effects of withdrawal.
• Start drinking decaffeinated coffee, tea and soda.
• Brew your tea for less time to cut down on caffeine. Or try herbal teas which are caffeinefree.
• Check the caffeine content in over-the-counter medications that you take. If you can, switch to caffeine-free forms of the medications you need.
Send your general health questions to Healthy Geezer with Lifestyles After 50 in the subject line to fred@healthygeezer.com.
End of Season Checklist: 7 Top Tips from FPL for Snowbirds
As temperatures rise, approximately 1.5 million seasonal residents (aka snowbirds) in Florida prepare to leave their homes for cooler climates. As snowbirds get ready to migrate, Florida Power & Light (FPL) recommends tips for properly closing their homes for the summer.
Thermostat tips:
Set your thermostat to 80°F and adjust the humidity control to maintain indoor levels below 60%. Use a programmable thermostat to cool your home to 72°F for just two hours before sunrise. If your thermostat doesn’t have a humidity control option, use a dehumidifier to prevent mold.
Appliance tips:
Turn off your water heater at the circuit breaker and shut off the main water valve. If your home has an automatic fire-sprinkler system, leave the main valve on but turn off the water supply to your washing machine, sinks, dishwasher, and toilets.
Set your pool pump to run six hours per day during the summer. Arrange for someone to check your pool’s chemical levels and water level.
Unplug electronics and add timers on indoor lamps. Make sure all smoke alarms are working and have fresh batteries.
If you prefer to keep your refrigerator on, set it at its warmest setting and turn the ice maker off. If you plan to unplug or turn your refrigerator off, clean the interior thoroughly and leave doors open.
Other Considerations:
Protect your home with a hurricane plan before you leave. Install hurricane shutters prior to your departure if you will be gone for the duration of hurricane season (June to November).
Monitor your home’s energy usage with the FPL Energy Manager tool, an all-in-one tool that shows you where and how your home consumes energy.
By following these simple steps, snowbirds can enjoy a worry-free summer knowing their Florida home is protected and costs are kept in check. For more energy-saving tips and tools, visit FPL.com/ WaysToSave.
Mother’s Day Mini Waffle Brunch Board
Food styling, ideas and image courtesy of Sarah, Baking Me Lazy (www.bakingmelazy.com)
Sarah shares her best idea yet: a mini waffle brunch board! Grab a large cutting board, a pretty serving tray, or even just a sheet of baking parchment for the table. It’s all about mom’s favorite ingredients! Sarah suggests starting with the large items first, then filling in the smaller spaces; finish with berries.
Ingredients:
• mini waffles (homemade, frozen, or from a mix)
• bacon
• mini quiche (pre-made or homemade)
• assorted berries
• mini powdered donuts
• sliced strawberries
• maple syrup
• jam
• butter
More great ideas for a brunch board:
• mini scones
• sausages or breakfast patties
• mini bagels with toppings
• different types of fruit
• a soft cheese with crackers and jams
• croissants
• frittata
• scrambled, baked, fried, or hard-boiled eggs
• French toast triangles
• yogurt and granola
• ham
• mini cinnamon rolls
• smoked salmon
• toast points
• veggies with dip
42. Laic response
43. Food lists
44. More to the point
46. Learned people
48. Grads-to-be: abbr.
MAY
51. Mich.’s neighbor
52. Besides
45. Forefathers
47. Musical instruments
50. Projecting brim
cROSSWORD puzzle
58. Informed
61. Circus performer
62. Church section
52. Square footage
53. Far: pref.
Fill in the answers and win great prizes! The first correct answers selected from the drawing on the 20th will win.
54. Fictional
63. Boatman
64. Olympian Korbut
Send your answers along with your name, address, telephone number and email to: Lifestyles After 50
65. Lose one’s footing
66. Beverages
67. Classic cars
LAST MONTH'S WINNER:
Charlotte Ping, Ft Myers
68. Downhill conveyors
P.O. BOX 638, SEFFNER, FL 33583
CROSSWORD PUZZLE
To Catch a Thief
I’ve only seen one or two Cary Grant movies in my life, although I know that one of my favorite TV characters, Peter Gunn, was patterned after him.
The classics I’ve missed include “To Catch a Thief,” however I did engage in the titled activity once-upon-a-time.
After the Joy of my life and I tied the knot in wedded bliss, we shared the first of many apartments together. Our good friend Raymond was the landlord over two of our apartment buildings. He also lived in the house next door, which meant that we were the only tenants with swimming pool privileges.
#5135
We had subscribed to the Tampa Tribune for quite a while when the morning paper started disappearing. A call to the circulation office confirmed our deliveries. It brought to my mind 1 Thessalonians 5:2 which reads, “For you yourselves know very well that Jehovah’s day is coming exactly as a thief in the night.”
So to thwart “a thief in the night” one must be awake. Again I called circulation and requested that my carrier lightly rap on my door as he delivered my paper in the morning. He did so, waking me up. I immediately got my paper and slipped the open end slightly under the door after I’d tied a length of yarn to it. I tied the other end to a small watering can and lay down next to it to doze off.
CROSSWORD PUZZLE
I was shortly thereafter awakened by the metallic rattle as the can was dragged across the terrazzo floor. I sprang up and flung the door open while shouting, “Give me my paper!”
A short, gray-haired lady stood stuttering and stammering an excuse as the yarn dangled from the paper in her hand.
We reported the crime to Raymond who responded, “You’ve gotta be kidding! That sweet little old lady is a nurse.”
Probably due to a guilty conscience, she moved out within two weeks, which made me feel guilty.
Mike is sad that increased paper and ink costs have driven every newspaper he ever delivered (or read) out of business. If you miss a favorite newspaper, share your loss with Mike at micwrighthamo@ gmail.com.
BOOK REVIEW by Kathy A. Megyeri
Brownie Wise: A Florida Mother Who Made Marketing History
“Life of the Party, the Remarkable Story of How Brownie Wise Built and Lost a Tupperware Party Empire,” by Bob Kealing, Crown Archetype
Before Mary Kay and Martha Stewart, there was Florida mom Brownie Wise, a post-WWII optimist who gave economically invisible women an acceptable outlet for making money for their families. It was said that she had the people skills of Dale Carnegie, the looks of Doris Day and the magnetism of Eva Peron. A superb saleswoman, she disappeared until this book was written by writer, historian and biographer Bob Kealing; Wise’s story is especially meaningful on Mother’s Day.
After WWII, chemist Earl Tupper designed a new kind of plastic that could be mass-produced in many colors and in different forms, and in 1946 he patented the doublesealed lid which was air-tight and watertight. (Before, such plastics weren’t used in homes because no one knew yet about burping the lid.)
Meanwhile, Brownie Wise, a 34-year-old divorced mother with only an eighth-grade education, started selling mops, cleaners and detergents door-to-door for Stanley Home Products. She then found Tupperware and started “patio parties” with games, prizes, entertainment, and food and demonstrations like tossing a sealed Tupperware bowl filled with grape juice across the room to prove the quality of the seal.
their own money! She also started “Tupperware Jubilee” in Ft. Lauderdale, a four-day sales meeting that mixed product education with entertainment.
She got exclusive rights to sell in Florida, gathered a group of saleswomen, took good care of them and wrote a weekly newsletter for all to share their successes. Her saleswomen loved making
She was soon named General Manager of the Home Parties Division and sales tripled. She became a Vice President. For the next five years, she moved the Tupperware plastic bowl into every American kitchen and from 195158, she recruited 10,000 dealers and was responsible for revenues of $10 million ($100 million in today’s dollars).
She became known as “Miss Tupperware of the 50’s,” created Tupperware art fellowships, and was the first woman to make the cover of Business Week magazine. She moved the company’s headquarters to Kissimmee, had a campus constructed, appeared on talk shows and became an invited speaker at national sales conferences – she was usually the only woman there.
However, she and Tupper fought over management and company strategy. In 1958 he sold the company to Rexall and fired her saying, “I want all evidence of Wise gone,” and “I do the manufacturing, and you do the selling.” Wise got a one-time payout of $30,000 and was evicted from her Tupperware-owned home.
After being fired by Tupper, Wise had limited success in real estate and died in 1992 in Kissimmee at age 79. But after such a colorful and successful life, this Florida Mother left her permanent mark on American manufacturing and marketing history and left us asking, which is more powerful—the product or the “sell”? Florida mothers can be proud of her legacy.
Sudoku requires no arithmetic skills.
The object of the game is to fill all the blank squares with the correct numbers.
MAY SUDOKU
Sudoku requires no arithmetic skills.
The object of the game is to fill all the blank squares with the correct numbers.
Each row of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order. Each column of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order.
Each row of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order. Each column of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order. Each 3 by 3 subsection of the 9 by 9 square must include all digits 1 through 9.
Sudoku requires no arithmetic skills. The object of the game is to fill all the blank squares with the correct numbers. Each row and each column of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order. Each 3 by 3 subsection of the 9 by 9 square much include all digits 1 through 9 as well. Good luck! The first correct answers selected from the drawing on the 20th will win. Send your answers along with your name, address, telephone number and email to:
Each 3 by 3 subsection of the 9 by 9 square must include all digits 1 through 9.
Lifestyles After 50 P.O. BOX 638, SEFFNER, FL 33583
LAST MONTH'S WINNER: Fred Timberland, North Port
Trivia Palooza
A battle breaks out between prisoners and guards at Alcatraz.
Victoria Woodhull becomes the first woman to run for US president
Sin City is officially founded__________________________ Bonnie & Clyde died_________________________________
In the grid below, twenty answers can be found that fit the category for this month. Circle each answer you find and list it in the space provided. Answers can be found in all directions–forwards, backwards, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. An example is given to get you started.
Send your answers along with your name, address, telephone number and email to: Lifestyles After 50 P.O. BOX 638, SEFFNER, FL 33583
LAST MONTH'S WINNER:
In the grid below, twenty answers can be found that today. Circle each answer that you find and list it in the right of the grid. Answers can be found in all backwards, horizontally, vertically and diagonally. An get you started. Can you find the twenty answers in
Cindy Housley, Dunedin
THIS MONTHS' CATEGORY: FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
WORD
In the grid below, twenty answers can be found that fit the category for today. Circle each answer that you find and list it in the space provided at the right of the grid. Answers can be found in all directions forwards, backwards, horizontally, vertically and diagonally. An example is given to get you started. Can you find the twenty answers in this puzzle?
Today's Category: U. S. State Capitals
In the grid below, twenty answers can be found that fit the category for today. Circle each answer that you find and list it in the space provided at the right of the grid. Answers can be found in all directions forwards, backwards, horizontally, vertically and diagonally. An example is given to get you started. Can you find the twenty answers in this puzzle?
to: Lifestyles After 50, P.O.
638, Seffner, FL,
Phillis Bateman, Brandon was our April winner!
February answers: Easter, Passover, April Fools-Noah Webster April 14, 1828-April 9, 1959 Please enjoy playing our Crossword, Sudoku and Word Search Puzzles. The more puzzles you play & submit, the better chance you have to win!
Slow Cooker Apple Dump Cake
Easy to make in your slow cooker, this cinnamon-flavored apple dump cake is perfect to serve warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.
Ingredients:
• 2 (20 ounce) cans of apple pie filling
• 1 (15.25 ounce) package yellow cake mix
Directions:
• ½ cup unsalted butter, cut into cubes
• ¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon, or to taste
Pour both cans of apple pie filling into a slow cooker. Sprinkle cake mix evenly over top to cover filling. Dot butter cubes over cake mix and sprinkle cinnamon over top.
Cover and cook on High until filling is bubbly and topping is golden brown, about 2 hours.
This great simple recipe is a cloud pleaser. Try the following modifications: instead of using canned apple pie filling, use Great Value or Boston Market frozen cinnamon apples (2 packages, thawed) instead of the canned apples.
AROUND TOWN
MAY 2-4: HIBISCUS FESTIVAL
Gilchrist Park, 400 W. Retta Esplanade, Punta Gorda
MAY 4: BLUEBERRY FESTIVAL
Lee Civic Center, 11831 Bayshore Rd., North Fort Myers
MAY 10, 17: BEACH MARKET
Beach Market, 401 3rd St., Fort Myers
MAY 10: CULTURAL FAIR
Harold Avenue Park, 23400 Harold Ave., Port Charlotte
