s-2016-12-15 by News & Review

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SN&R dives into the local scene for all the jokes, laughs and other funny bits

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SN&R S Crawl ant a det ails !

Sacramentoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S newS & entertainment weekly

Volume 28, iSSue 35

thurSday, decemBer

15, 2016

11 Inside

newSreView.com

2 | SN&R | 12.15.16

EditoR’S NotE

dECEMBER 15, 2016 | Vol. 28, iSSuE 35

36 25 Our Mission: To publish great newspapers that are successful and enduring. To create a quality work environment that encourages employees to grow professionally while respecting personal welfare. To have a positive impact on our communities and make them better places to live. Editor Rachel Leibrock Associate Editor Raheem F. Hosseini Arts & Culture Editor Janelle Bitker Assistant Editor Anthony Siino Editorial Services Coordinator Karlos Rene Ayala Staff Reporter Scott Thomas Anderson Contributors Daniel Barnes, Ngaio Bealum, Alastair Bland, Rob Brezsny, Aaron Carnes, Jim Carnes, Willie Clark, Deena Drewis, Joey Garcia, Cosmo Garvin, Blake Gillespie, Lovelle Harris, Jeff Hudson, Dave Kempa, Jim Lane, Kel Munger, Kate Paloy, Patti Roberts, Ann Martin Rolke, Shoka, Bev Sykes

33 Design Manager Lindsay Trop Art Directors Brian Breneman, Margaret Larkin Production Coordinator Skyler Smith Designer Kyle Shine Marketing/Publications Design Manager Serene Lusano Marketing/Publications Designer Sarah Hansel Contributing Photographers Lisa Baetz, Darin Bradford, Kevin Cortopassi, Evan Duran, Luke Fitz, Jon Hermison, Shoka, Lauran Fayne Worthy Director of Sales and Advertising Corey Gerhard Sales Coordinator Joanna Graves Senior Advertising Consultants Rosemarie Messina, Olla Swanson, Joy Webber, Kelsi White Advertising Consultants Stephanie Johnson, Matt Kjar, Paul McGuinness, Wendy Russell, Manushi Weerasinghe Lead Director of First Impressions & Sales Assistant David Lindsay Director of First Impressions Hannah Williams Distribution Director Greg Erwin Distribution Services Assistant Larry Schubert Distribution Drivers Mansour Aghdam, Kimberly Bordenkircher, Daniel Bowen, Heather Brinkley,

34 Allen Brown, Mike Cleary, Jack Clifford, Lydia Comer, Rob Dunnica, Chris Fong, Ron Forsberg, Joanna Gonzalez-Brown, Greg Meyers, Aswad Morland, Kenneth Powell, Gilbert Quilatan, Lloyd Rongley, Lolu Sholotan, Jonathan Taea, Lori Lovell N&R Publications Editor Michelle Carl N&R Publications Associate Editor Kate Gonzales N&R Publications Writers Anne Stokes Senior N&R Publications Consultant Dave Nettles N&R Publications Consultant Julie Sherry Marketing & Publications Consultant Steve Caruso President/CEO Jeff vonKaenel Director of Nuts & Bolts Deborah Redmond Executive Coordinator Carlyn Asuncion Director of People & Culture David Stogner Project Coordinator Natasha vonKaenel Director of Dollars & Sense Nicole Jackson Payroll/AP Wizard Miranda Dargitz Sweetdeals Specialist/HR Coordinator Courtney DeShields Nuts & Bolts Ninja Christina Wukmir Developer John Bisignano, Jonathan Schultz System Support Specialist Kalin Jenkins

04 05 06 11 14 25 27 33 34 36 44 51 63

STREETALK LETTERS NEwS + beaTS ScoREKEEpER FEATuRE SToRy NighT&dAy diSh + off MeNu STAgE FiLm muSic + SouNd adVice ASK joEy ThE 420 15 miNuTES

coVER dESigN By mARgARET LARKiN coVER phoTo By LiSA BAETZ

1124 Del Paso Boulevard, Sacramento, CA 95815 Phone (916) 498-1234 Fax (916) 498-7910 Website www.newsreview.com Got a News Tip? sactonewstips@newsreview.com Calendar Events www.newsreview.com/calendar Want to Advertise? Fax (916) 498-7910 or snradinfo@newsreview.com Classifieds (916) 498-1234, ext. 5 or classifieds@newsreview.com Job Opportunities jobs@newsreview.com Want to Subscribe to SN&R? sactosubs@newsreview.com Editorial Policies: opinions expressed in SN&R are those of the authors and not of chico community Publishing, inc. contact the editor for permissions to reprint articles, cartoons or other portions of the paper. SN&R is not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts or review materials. email letters to snrletters@newsreview.com. all letters received become the property of the publisher. We reserve the right to print letters in condensed form and to edit them for libel. Advertising Policies: all advertising is subject to the newspaper’s Standards of acceptance. The advertiser and not the newspaper assumes the responsibility for the truthful content of their advertising message. SN&R is printed at bay area News Group on recycled newsprint. circulation of SN&R is verified by the circulation Verification council. SN&R is a member of Sacramento Metro chamber of commerce, cNPa, aaN and aWN.

A new era This week, Darrell Steinberg was sworn in as Sacramento’s new mayor in a ceremony at the California State Railroad Museum—a somewhat staid spot if you consider the last mayor’s taste for glitzy block parties and galas. But let’s not mistake “staid” for “boring” or “unambitious”—because Steinberg is nothing if not ambitious and, as he takes his seat at city council meetings, we can expect other key differences as well. Steinberg has made it clear his plans for Sacramento are myriad and far-reaching: Helping to end the homelessness crisis; improving social services, particularly for the mentally ill; preserving Sacramento as a sanctuary city for immigrants; better community policing; bolstering the local arts community; and promoting smart growth and development, just to name a few areas of focus. This city’s previous mayor famously had problems with this newspaper (among other people and institutions), but I’ll go on the record as saying that Kevin Johnson did bring some notable, even welcomed, changes during his tenure. Despite what one thinks of the new arena, I’m glad the Sacramento Kings are still here. No, really. And, although I’m dismayed by the perils of gentrification and the threat of the city becoming unaffordable for many groups, I can also recognize that there have been some improvements. Still, I’m glad we’ve finally said goodbye to Johnson’s penchant for scandal and power grabs—not to mention his troubling lack of transparency. It’s time to welcome a new era— one that’s guided by ambitious vision, but governed with a steady hand.

—Rachel leibRock r a c h e ll@ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m

12.15.16 | SN&R | 3

“When I’m pleasantly surprIsed by my oWn abIlItIes.”

AskED At DAvis CEntrAl PArk in DAvis:

What makes you laugh?

AnniE sun

educator

student

I work with special ed kids. This one boy … thought it was … funny that I knew Slim Shady, because he brought that up, and he had to do a report, and he said I’m going to put Slim Shady on there and I said, “please stand up, please stand up” and he just thought that was so funny.

The general internet cuteanimals-doing-dumb-things videos … there’s one with this guy with a little pug and the pug was trying really hard to run but he was holding it down and wouldn’t let it and then it escaped and it ran around for a little bit. That was the last thing that made me laugh.

DolorEs stoCk ton retired

My dog. Just her mannerisms. She locks my car door and she rolls the windows down. Yeah ... she’s locked herself in the car before because I left the keys to run and get a soda and I couldn’t get in. I had to call somebody to open the door.

DAviD MACkiE

JE AnnE PAnfEly

juggler

grad student

I like to laugh when I find success in unexpected places. I oftentimes laugh when I’m pleasantly surprised by my own abilities. I’m not a very humorous person normally so it’s like a little bit hard for me to answer this, I don’t tell a lot of jokes, I don’t have that kind of disposition.

I [was] taking a French class and there was a guy who nobody thought was funny. He asked the teacher how to pronounce a word … and the teacher said it with a bubble in his throat so the guy tried to pronounce it back with the bubble also in his throat … that’s the hardest I’ve laughed at anything.

grad student

What We Do in the Shadows,

it’s a vampire movie. There’s four [vampires] together in an apartment ... and they’re all immortal so there’s one from the 12th century. And it’s about all their little inconveniences, like they can’t see themselves in the mirror and they have to be invited into any building.

NU TS

The Nutty

Nutcracker 4 | SN&R | 12.15.16

kEn Zillig

December 9 & 16/2016 Community Center Theater For tickets visit sacballet.org/nutty or call 916.808.5181 M-Sat 10am-6pm

Photography: Keith Sutter

Elyn DErby

Email lEttErs to sactolEttErs@nEwsrEviEw.com.

Show of decency, please Re “Allen Warren’s bank shot” by Raheem F. Hosseini and Matt Kramer (SN&R News, December 8): This guy is emblematic as to what is wrong with Sacramento— secretive, morally bankrupt, ethically challenged. You would think at the very least, he would put on a show of decency and recuse himself from taking part in something he is so clearly invested in. But no, in Sacramento, the pols put their dirt right out on display for everyone to see. And this guy does not even live in our district.

Karen K Solberg S acr am e nt o

Foxes in the hen house Re “Political industrial complex” by Jeff vonKaenel (SN&R Greenlight, December 8): Perfect mix: The Republicans had all the bases

covered to rig and steal another election. Problem, though: They left a trail a mile wide. FBI director James Comey’s interference in the closing moments of the 2016 presidential election. Republican voter ID and voter suppression laws. Republican’s gerrymandering in over 20 states

with Republican governors and legislatures. The largest electronic voting machine company, Election Systems & Software, Republican all the way, counting the votes. Did someone say “major conflict of interest”? And Rep. Kevin McCarthy, a Republican politician, inadvertently let the cat out of the bag when he told of a yearlong smear campaign to destroy Hillary Clinton’s approval ratings and image. The logistics of Republican election fraud: How did the Republican foxes get into the electoral hen house to subvert the election? Electronic votes can be tampered with or added or subtracted, causing votes to disappear without a trace. Most everyone knows how things can disappear on computer screens. Changing the results on the tabulator is the most efficient way to rig an election. So you ask, why have the Democrats, the Obama administration, media, newspapers

and Department of Justice, with all their resources, done nothing about this easily verifiable Republican election theft? A really good question. Ron Lowe Nevada City

Tell us Re “Clueless Democrats” by Jan Bergeron (SN&R Letters, December 8): Jan Bergeron asks: “Tell me again how the two parties are not two sides of the same rotten political coin.” With all the global corporate similarities, one party leads a vendetta against women and the planet. The other doesn’t. Marion Millin Sacramento

ONLINE BUZZ

On whaT ciTieS can learn abOuT wOrking wiTh arTiST cOmmuniTieS aFTer The Oakland warehOuSe Fire: @SacNewsReview

Well we can start by paying artists in something that isn’t “experience”

Sean CroSby v ia Fa c e b o o k

on radio 94.7’S Sold-out eleCtriC ChriStmaS ConCert Featuring glaSS animalS, Capital CitieS and other indie-roCK darlingS: Mini-fest? No. It was one night with one stage and five bands, i.e. a regular concert.

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phillip etorma v ia Fa c e b o o k

12.15.16 | SN&R | 5

A memorial wall at Friendship Park honors the people who died while homeless in Sacramento County. At least 79 names will be added this year. Photo BY EVAN DURAN

Death year-round Advocates criticize seasonal political focus as Sacramento homeless deaths remain high by Matt KraMer and raheeM F. hosseini

An extended version of this story is available at www.newsreview. com/sacramento.

6 | SN&R

On a Saturday afternoon this past January, Michael Lehmkuhl was killed for being where he wasn’t supposed to be. When you’re homeless, as the 58-yearold man was at the time of his death, there are many places like that. Online court records show that Lehmkuhl already spent 72 days in jail last year for entering a dwelling without permission and was facing an unresolved loitering charge when a bullet found him on January 9. On that day, Lehmkuhl was a good ways south of a tree-lined embankment along the American River, where those in his situation more easily fade from view. In a parking lot off Bercut Drive in North | 12.15.16

Sacramento, near a cottage suite of offices headquartering a construction company and a task force devoted to solving sex crimes, police say that Lehmkuhl encountered an armed security guard conducting a routine patrol of the River District. To the guard, Lehmkuhl looked “suspicious,” police said in a media release at the time, and initiated contact. Lehmkuhl responded by becoming “aggressive,” the same release stated. Lehmkuhl took up a tree branch and swung. The guard pulled a gun and fired. When paramedics arrived a short time later, Lehmkuhl had expired. Just another homeless death in Sacramento County.

There were upwards of 80 of them by the end of the last two Decembers—and the victims are getting younger, advocates say. “In 2015, the average age for [homeless] women at their death was 47 years old, and for men it was 49,” said Bob Erlenbusch, executive director of the Sacramento Regional Coalition to End Homelessness, which collects homeless mortality data from the coroner’s office and other sources. “I think the deaths are increasing just because the homeless population has increased.” On December 19 at Trinity Episcopal Cathedral, religious leaders, elected

representatives and homeless residents and advocates will gather for a third straight year to memorialize the men and women who died during 2016 the way that they lived—on the streets. By the time this interfaith service begins on Monday evening, called to order by Mayor-elect Darrell Steinberg and Supervisor Patrick Kennedy, organizers will have at least 79 names to read— names that tell the story of an old public health crisis gathering cobwebs. Every year around this time, elected officials reopen their winter shelters for a few months and make compassion-lite promises to uplift their most impoverished constituents. And every year, more people fall to the margins, and perish in quiet, anonymous fashion. The 69-year-old homeless woman was found dead under a freeway overpass behind a grocery store north of Oak Park the morning of August 2. Initially, first responders didn’t notice any signs of violence, police said in a release, but detectives and crime scene investigations canvassed the scene anyway. A day later, police say a preliminary autopsy showed the victim sustained

Sac county’S caSh cow See nEwS

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upStagEd By BackpagE physical trauma that appeared consistent with an assault. Five months after the grim discovery, the official cause of death is still pending and the coroner’s office has yet to release the woman’s name due to an internal policy that requires family to be notified first. It’s unclear whether the woman had any. “We were unable to locate family for her,” Coroner Kimberly Gin said in an email. All Gin can say is that the victim was white and might be from Sacramento, though even that part is unclear. The woman’s nameless death fits a troubling pattern. Between 5 and 6 percent of homeless deaths in Sacramento County are the result of homicide, SRCEH found. According to its analysis, the homicide rate is 31 percent higher for people without homes than those who reside indoors. Suicides and substanceuse deaths are also high, exposing a lack of access to medical and psychiatric services. On average, less than 30 percent of homeless deaths result from natural causes. The deaths happen at all times of the year, divided into near-equal quarter-sized chunks through the four seasons. The idea that the homeless population faces a greater threat in the winter—at least in terms of fatalities—is a myth. “It doesn’t make any difference,” Erlenbusch said. Loaves & Fishes advocacy director Joan Burke agreed that the real lesson was that being homeless is a year-round danger. “It’s unsafe and unhealthy to be homeless any time of year,” Burke said. The people living the experience know this well. In Lehmkuhl’s case, police investigated the shooting but determined he was largely responsible for what happened. The department’s media release said Lehmkuhl was shot after he “attacked the guard causing him to fall to the ground.” Police submitted their findings to the Sacramento County District Attorney’s Office, which declined to pursue the case after determining “there was not sufficient evidence to file charges and obtain a conviction,” spokeswoman Shelly Orio said in an email. the annual death count has revealed the folly of the political response, which is and has been to fixate on winter shelters rather than a year-round strategy, some advocates say. “The county has not increased [shelter operating days],” Erlenbusch said. “They do the winter shelter program, which is great and that adds another 150 beds to the system from November to March 31. Then on April

Fools’ Day … we lose 23 percent of our told supervisors during the October 18 bed capacity in 24 hours. The county could workshop. “You very clearly stated to us in move a lot quicker to create what they’ve recent months that the system is not workbeen calling a triage center, along the lines ing, and we concur.” of San Francisco, but they haven’t moved to A County Executive Office report from create that yet.” the workshop cited the problems shelters On November 1, true to form, the currently face: longer lengths of stay, Sacramento County Board of Supervisors increasing operational costs and “very low reauthorized two such programs. First, rates of exits to permanent housing.” supervisors boosted their share of a winter Both Burke and Erlenbusch pointed sanctuary program 28 percent to $360,000, to rising rents and gentrification as major to add beds and help with transportation to factors in Sacramento’s increased challenge and from shelter locations. The sancto meet the needs of a growing hometuary program, administered by less population. Sacramento Steps Forward, The second workshop, provides overnight held November 15, lodging and meals at 30 confirmed the religious sites between cause for concern. Homeless deaths in November 21 and Titled “Increasing Sacramento County April 30. Supervisors Permanent Housing skyrocketed 68 percent augmented that by Opportunities for 25 beds per night, Persons Experiencing in 12 years—from 29 in by adding an extra Homelessness,” an 2002 to 91 in 2014. $75,000 on a winter attached report showed shelter program in North Sacramento County’s Highlands through average rent prices have March 31. increased significantly, from The conjoined programs have $814 per month in 2004 to a been staples of the county’s approach to projected $1,173 per month this year, with homelessness the past five years. While the prices projected to reach $1,264 per month winter-focused efforts can get some out of in 2020. the cold, they’re falling short of one devasAdvocates and politicians agree the most tating mark—reducing homeless deaths effective way to combat chronic homelessthroughout the whole year. ness and homeless mortality rates is through Erlenbusch is concerned about the a housing-first initiative. This strategy mounting number of names he’s collected focuses on getting homeless individuals the last two Decembers, reflecting a trend into permanent housing above all else, and in which homeless deaths in Sacramento removing barriers to accessing shelter. County skyrocketed 68 percent in 12 The next steps will take place in early years—from 29 in 2002 to 91 in 2014. The 2017, when Lake and the county’s new 79 deaths recorded through December 8 director of homeless initiatives, Cynthia this year are the second most since SRCEH Cavanaugh, plan to formally request that began tracking this data, and one more supervisors require family shelters to than in 2015. operate by a housing-first model that, in When asked if he thought the county theory, would remove or at least lower was doing enough to respond, Erlenbusch such barriers. was not shy in his critique. “About 60 For the time being, Erlenbusch said he percent of the deaths of homeless people will keep reading the names of those who are on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, so we may otherwise die unknown. were pushing for the last couple years for a “I think that it provides a dignified weekend shelter … but they haven’t done service for people who are generally that,” Erlenbusch said. invisible to the housed population,” Local officials are finally acknowledging Erlenbusch said. “Everybody deserves to be their shortfalls, at least vocally. remembered in some fashion, that they were During the first of two workshops here on Earth. This is a way for at least hosted by county supervisors on the topic an hour to read their name, read their age, of responding to the homelessness crisis, and [make them] be visible to the housed Countywide Services Agency Chief Deputy population.” Executive Paul Lake admitted that current The woman who died under the overprograms had failed to curb long-term pass will have to wait a while longer. Ω homelessness. “There is a general consensus that our continuum of care is not working,” Lake

Rejecting the state’s case that three men were running an online human trafficking business, a Sacramento County judge dismissed all charges against Backpage.com senior corporate officers Carl Ferrer, Michael Gerard Lacey and James Anthony Larkin last Friday. The December 9 written ruling from Sacramento Superior Court Judge Michael Bowman dealt California Attorney General kamala harris a stinging defeat shortly before she leaves office to join the ranks of the U.S. Senate next month. In a statement emailed to SN&R, Harris said she was “extremely disappointed” in the decision and that her office was “exploring all legal options.” Harris’ office presided over a three-year investigation into the operation of Backpage, an online classified portal similar to Craigslist. Unlike Craigslist, though, Backpage still charges users to post ads in its adult services section, which the state claims functions as a poorly disguised prostitution clearinghouse. In its criminal complaint, the California Department of Justice— the investigative arm of Harris’ office—identified nine victims who engaged in paid sex acts that were advertised in veiled terms on the site and sometimes reposted on two offshoots, EvilEmpire.com and BigCity.com. The victims included five minors, two of whom were contacted during sting operations after posting escort ads in Sacramento County. All three defendants shared a felony charge of conspiring to commit the crime of pimping, while Backpage CEO Ferrer faced nine additional counts, four for pimping a minor. Defense attorneys argued their clients were protected by the first amendment and a section of the communications decency act, which says online content providers aren’t responsible for the actions of third-party users. (In short, a website like Twitter isn’t legally liable for something one of its users does.) Harris’ office didn’t respond to questions about how much the multiyear effort has cost the state, or answer charges that she knowingly pursued a losing case for the publicity it brought her during a successful Senate campaign. In an October 19 statement announcing their intent to file for dismissal, defendants Ferrer, Larking and Lacey predicted the outcome and also leveled claims that Harris jailed them for political sport. “Make no mistake; Kamala Harris has won all that she was looking to win when she had us arrested,” they wrote. (Raheem F. Hosseini)

thE nExt BREaSt thing An unusual donation drive on December 6 brought approximately 3,000 ounces of breast milk to Sutter Medical Plaza. The donation drive was organized by Sutter Medical Center lactation specialist Heather Conway, president of the Breastfeeding Coalition of Greater Sacramento and the Mother’s Milk Bank of California, based in San Jose. The nonprofit bank delivers breast milk to 73 hospitals in 13 states. Prematurely born babies have a higher survival rate when they are fed breast milk instead of formula. Rich in antibodies and antivirals, breast milk is less likely to result in infections. And one ounce is enough to feed a premature infant three or four times. “We get teeny, tiny babies and we know that their survival is sometimes dependent on getting human milk,” said Conway, who works at Anderson Lucchetti Women’s and Children’s Center in Midtown. “Their bodies are designed to utilize human milk. … When we give them artificial milk, they don’t do as well. So as much as they need their mom’s own milk, this is the next best thing.” The drive debuted locally five years ago. Sacramento donates about 250,000 ounces annually to the Mother’s Milk Bank. (Corey Rodda)

12.15.16 | SN&R | 7

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On June 27, Hill’s bill received unanimous Rolling into a right turn at a red light is a move approval in the Senate. named for our state. But if a California-stopping But the bill never made it out of the Assembly driver is caught on camera, he or she can get appropriations committee after it was determined slapped with a ticket that could cost $541, even that it would cause a significant loss in revenue at though the violation only causes a tiny percentthe state and local levels. age of accidents. “Unfortunately, government does everything it Yet these rolling turn violations made up the can to get as much money as possible,” Hill said. vast majority of red light citations handed down “And what I’ve come to learn is that fairness by two cities in Sacramento County last year, isn’t necessarily part of the equation.” boosting local revenues but doing little to make In Elk Grove, stop-light cameras are triggered the public safer, critics argue. if a car is moving at least 14 mph when it crosses “There’s nothing wrong with having a red the “line of no return”—8-to-11 feet away from light camera at an intersection to catch the the stop line—which assistant city clerk Brenda person driving straight through, who creates a Haggard said via email is “based on numerous real hazardous situation,” said state Sen. Jerry studies and cases that show it would be imposHill. “But they don’t have to install that second sible for a vehicle traveling at this speed to camera aiming at that right turn lane. It’s stop before entering the intersection/ a cash cow for them. And they know crosswalk.” it. And they think we’re stupid. In Rancho Cordova, the And it’s sad.” camera flashes if a car Hill could be referapproaches the intersection ring to a couple of local limit line at or exceeding 12 municipalities. mph and the light has been Illegally turning right red for 0.1 seconds. on red accounted for Another report provided 94 percent of red light by Redflex showed that violations ticketed in Elk tourists were the ones most Grove last year, and 88 Sen. Jerry Hill (D-San Mateo) likely to pay. From November percent of those cited in 2013 to October 2015, the Rancho Cordova, according Redflex report indicated, 72 to the latest annual report from percent of Rancho Cordova’s red Redflex, the company contracted to light citations went to visitors. In Elk build and install traffic-light cameras. Grove, 69 percent of the tickets went to visitors. Comparatively, the city of Sacramento issued “If you get a ticket, you think, ‘Maybe 6,931 citations for turning right on red in 2015, Rancho Cordova isn’t a great place to go but that represented only 39 percent of all red shopping,’” said Jim Lissner, who runs light violations. HighwayRobbery.net, an exhaustively detailed Hill, a San Mateo Democrat, says cities like website devoted to tracking red light cameras. this are padding their general funds on the backs Elsewhere on the site, Lissner lists 36 of the poor. Californian cities that once had red light cameras, “Five-hundred-fifty dollars can be a third of but have since removed them, including Davis. a person’s take-home pay,” he said. “People who The city removed its cameras last year due to can least afford it are paying it. And this is not high operational costs, administrative backlog increasing safety at all.” and the belief that they were too “sterile” a form In February, the senator proposed a bill to of enforcement. Ω cut the base fine from $100 to $35 for the turning infraction. Lowering the base rate would also cut by about half the amount in other fees and penalties that get tacked onto citations for court-processing, traffic school and the like, An extended version of this story is available at which is how a $100 infraction can balloon to www.newsreview.com/sacramento. more than $500.

“It’s a cash cow for them. And they know it.”

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Slow saviors Efforts to curb African-American child deaths take shape by Matt KraMer

Since raising the alarm five years ago on the threats disproportionately killing African-American children in Sacramento County, progress on curbing those perils has been steady, if slow, according to the group tasked with addressing them. In 2011, a 20-year analysis by the Sacramento County Child Death Review Team showed that black children consistently die at approximately twice the rate of their white counterparts. Reacting to those chilling statistics, Supervisor Phil Serna convened the Blue Ribbon Commission on Disproportionate African American Child Deaths, which outlined a five-year strategy that was initiated in the fall of 2015. The implementation plan marshals approximately $7.5 million in funding through a contract between the county Department of Health and Human Services and the Sierra Health Foundation’s Center for Health Program Management. Working with First 5 Sacramento, the city and county of Sacramento are participating in a multifaceted strategy meant to address everything from high homicide and fatal abuse rates to a lack of pre- and perinatal care for black pregnant women. But according to the most recent update, local black children accounted for 23 percent of the county’s under-18 deaths in the fiscal year ending 2013-14, despite making up 11 percent of the county’s child population. Briefing supervisors on November 15, Health and Human Services Director Sherri Heller advocated a sense of urgency, saying her department, which oversees public health and Child Protective Services, sees these figures as more than just academic. “We have a sense of responsibility to our kids,” Heller told supervisors. Responding to the crisis is the sole purpose of the Steering Committee on Reduction of African American Child Deaths, or RAACD, which has set a benchmark of reducing the deaths of its target population by 10 to 20 percent by 2020. The strategy enlists multiple government agencies and focuses outreach in the areas of Del Paso Heights, Meadowview, Valley Hi, North Highlands, Arden-Arcade, Oak Park and Fruitridge-Stockton, where the mortality rates are higher. The Center at Sierra Health Foundation, which manages the RAACD steering committee, is focused on educating target communities about the four biggest threats preventing AfricanAmericans from surviving childhood: child abuse and neglect, third-party homicides, perinatal health and sleep-related infant deaths. “I think we’re beginning to see small signs of success,” said Sierra Health Foundation CEO Chet Hewitt, co-chair of the steering committee. “I think we are beginning to see some good changes in the reductions in low birth-weight babies, which leads to perinatal conditions of premature death.” Ω

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10 | SN&R | 12.15.16

Gov. Jerry Brown, being sworn in for his second term in 1979 by state Supreme Court Chief Justice Rose Bird, whom voters later removed from the court because of blocked executions.

A lethal decision

Photo courtesy of the AssociAted Press

Will California resume executions under Gov. Jerry Brown? by LauReL RoSenhaLL

this story was produced by cALMatters, a nonprofit, nonpartisan media outlet covering california policies and politics. Learn more at www.calmatters.org.

Although he has served as governor longer than anyone else in California history, Jerry Brown has never been forced to make one of the weightiest decisions governors face: whether to spare a convicted criminal from execution. California has executed more than 500 people, but the death penalty has been on hold pending legal challenges during both of Brown’s two-term stints as governor. It’s been a politically convenient coincidence for the Democrat who rose to prominence as an outspoken opponent of capital punishment, even as California voters repeatedly demonstrated support for it. Their most recent affirmation came this November. Voters rejected Proposition 62, which would have abolished capital punishment, and passed Prop. 66, which seeks to expedite death penalty appeals. The outcome means California may resume executions during Brown’s final two years as governor, potentially challenging the legacy of the former Jesuit seminarian who was once so morally opposed to capital punishment that he protested outside the gates of death row.

It’s not certain that executions will resume; death penalty opponents have filed a lawsuit trying to block Prop. 66 and a separate challenge of a law that gives corrections officials broad authority to establish execution procedures. A federal court would need to lift a decadeold stay on lethal injections in California. But supporters insist they will prevail in court, and that executions will begin next year. They were suspended in California in 2006 when a federal court ruled that the state’s three-drug lethal injection process amounted to cruel and unusual punishment. Since then, corrections officials have been drafting a new execution procedure using only one drug, while also responding to a tangle of lawsuits challenging the way they were planning to reinstate the death penalty. The single-drug plan introduced last year, like many proposed state regulations, doesn’t go into effect until after a public review period. But one piece of Prop. 66 removes that review period—allowing prison officials to more swiftly move ahead with single-drug lethal injections. “The [corrections department] should

be able to begin use of the protocol that it’s already established, which means that execution dates can be set,” said Kent Scheidegger, a Sacramento attorney who helped write Prop. 66, and whom The Atlantic once called “Mr. Death Penalty” for his advocacy on the issue. “I’m sure it will be an intensely fought battle. But we’ll certainly make the argument that there’s been far too much delay and courts shouldn’t delay any further.” If courts allow Prop. 66 to proceed— more action on the suit is expected after election results are certified in mid-December—execution dates would be established after district attorneys seek death warrants from the trial courts. Eighteen of the 748 death row inmates have exhausted all their appeals, making them likely to be executed soonest. They include Harvey Heishman, who raped an Oakland woman and then murdered her in 1979 before she could testify against him; Richard Samayoa, who broke into a San Diego home in 1985 and beat a young mother and her toddler to death with a wrench; and Tiequon Cox, who murdered four Los Angeles family members of Kermit Alexander, the

former pro football player who put Prop. 66 on the ballot. Despite his activism against the death penalty as a young man, Brown never weighed in publicly on the November initiatives. “I think he just felt he would be compelled to do whatever the voters decide and therefore did not enter into the fray,” said Cruz Reynoso, a former California Supreme Court justice and death penalty opponent. Reynoso—one of three Brown appointees tossed off the Supreme Court in a 1986 campaign that targeted them for overturning death sentences—said if executions are scheduled before 2018, he wouldn’t expect Brown to block them. “Jerry Brown, like yours truly, may have a moral position,” he said, “but as a public official will enforce the law.” The governor’s staff declined to answer questions about potential executions. But Brown biographer Chuck McFadden said if executions did resume in his final term, “He wouldn’t like it, not one bit. “It’s an open question whether he would say anything publicly decrying the execution. … But he would certainly be unhappy about it, even though he’s a far different person today than he was in 1960.” In that year Brown famously lobbied his father, then-Gov. Pat Brown, to stay the execution of a convicted rapist. Seven years later, the younger Brown stood vigil outside of San Quentin as a cop killer was put to death inside the prison. Governors have broad authority under state law to block executions. The elder Brown spared 23 death row inmates by commuting their sentences but allowed 36 to be executed. In his biography Public Justice, Private Mercy: A Governor’s Education on Death Row, Pat Brown described the difficulty of being “the last stop on the road to the gas chamber.” “It was an awesome, ultimate power over the lives of others that no person or government should have, or crave,” wrote Pat Brown, who contended that his qualms about it helped Ronald Reagan unseat him in 1966. After 1967, legal challenges put the death penalty on hold in California for 25 years. Because Jerry Brown’s first two terms as governor (from 1975-1983) came during this hiatus, he avoided the clemency decisions that had racked his father. Ω

12.15.16 | SN&R | 11

Speaking out together by jeff vonkaenel

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The official theme of the Interfaith Council of Greater Sacramento and Sacramento Area League of Muslims event held at the SALAM Mosque last Wednesday was â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our Diverse Community Coming Together.â&#x20AC;? But the unofficial theme and undercurrent of concern was that a large minority of our fellow citizens just elected Donald Trump as president. He ran a nasty campaign against Mexican-Americans, Muslims, women and his opposition. And now he has the power of the presidency. So whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s next? What should responsible, progressive people who believe in an America that represents all of its citizens do in a world where Donald Trump is our president? This is certainly what I have been trying to figure out since November 8. Let me be clear. I do not remember a single speaker ever mentioning the name â&#x20AC;&#x153;Donald Trump.â&#x20AC;? The speakers included California Assemblyman Ken Cooley, United States Attorney Phillip Talbert, FBI Assistant Special Agent in Charge Tom Osborne, numerous religious leaders and several Muslim speakers. But when considering the theme â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our Diverse Community Coming Togetherâ&#x20AC;? in December of 2016, the specter of Trump is there whether you speak his name or not. I certainly appreciate that both Talbert and Osborne were willing to take time out to speak at a mosque. In a few weeks, both men will have a new boss. I wonder, will their new boss follow the law of the land? Or will their new boss use the FBI and the U.S. attorneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s office in a Nixonlike way, violating the law for political purposes? Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions, the proposed selection for attorney general, has referred to groups such as the NACCP and the ACLU as un-American and has recently said

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that he was open to Trumpâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s idea of banning Muslim immigration. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a good sign. SALAM Chairperson Waseem Bawa said that Muslims believe it is an act of faith to stand with and support any oppressed people. Bawa went on to say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;We must speak out against hate crimes directed at our Sikh friends. We must stand against discrimination and violence directed against the LGBT community. We have to fight for Hispanic families and children who may come under aggressive targeting for deportation. We must vigorously oppose the normalization of misogyny and disrespect of our mothers, sisters and daughters.â&#x20AC;? Speaking of his experience serving in the U.S. Army 82nd Airborne Division with â&#x20AC;&#x153;soldiers from nearly every tribe,â&#x20AC;? Bawa told us that â&#x20AC;&#x153;an expression we commonly used was â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;I got your 6.â&#x20AC;&#x2122; â&#x20AC;Ś If [ahead is] your 12 oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;clock, then behind you is your 6. So when I say, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got your 6,â&#x20AC;&#x2122; Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m saying, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got nothing to worry about because Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got your back.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? Bawa concluded by saying â&#x20AC;&#x153;We are all Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s children, regardless of tribe. So I say to all of you, â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Come what may, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got your 6.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;â&#x20AC;? Later in the program, Trinity Episcopal Dean Brian Baker said America has had worse times but we must remember that this is our time, our time to act. Justice can no longer be a hobby, he added later, it must now be a vocation. The theme was â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our Diverse Community Coming Together.â&#x20AC;? When our diverse community is under attack, we must say, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got your 6.â&#x20AC;? ÎŠ

Jeff vonKaenel is the president, CEO and majority owner of the News & Review.

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! e u s s i Photo BY ShoKA

e h T

y d e m co

to n i s e v i d R & ly SN p e e d ’s o t n e Sacram funny scene

omedy clubs are great and all, but Sacramento has always been about the DIY. Give someone a dark alley, moving van or laptop and microphone and the funny will happen. It’s part of why Sacramento’s comedy scene feels like it’s exploding right now. Shows are popping up in unconventional places. More women are killing it than ever before. And with the current political climate, people really, really need to laugh. With that in mind, SN&R is devoting this issue to the people—old and new, stand-ups and improvisors—who work so hard to make us pee our pants. Thanks—the extra laundry is worth it.

—Janelle Bitker Lance Woods wants you to try stand-up comedy, too.

14 | SN&R | 12.15.16

How to be funny Lance Woods shares the do’s and

don’ts of stand-up comedy by StepH RodRiguez

ance Woods chases the next laugh like it owes him money. Over the last six years, the Sacramento comedian has performed alongside big names like Dave Chappelle and Tony T. Roberts, and even visited Okinawa, Japan, to perform for the U.S. Marine Corps. His ability to bring the audience into his world of hilarious and relatable stories seems effortless. Still, Woods admits it wasn’t always so easy to get five minutes on stage. Here, he gives advice on how a fresh face with a couple of clever punchlines should get started. Actually get onstage: “It sounds simple, but you actually have to get onstage. A lot of people who want to do comedy, they’ll do it in front of their friends or on the internet, but they don’t get onstage. “It’s lonely up there. It’s just you, the microphone and a stool and everybody’s looking at you. “My first time on a comedy stage was June 2, 2010, at the Sacramento Punch Line. I had performed at my church before that, but I had never done a comedy show. I remember everything. I remember I had to fight to get onstage. I didn’t know how it worked. So, I just walked in like, ‘Hey, what time does the show start?’ And [the manager] was like, ‘Who is you?’ “It took about 45 minutes of going back and forth before he was like, ‘All right. You’re going up third.’” Confidence: “Challenge yourself to get better. You’re going to develop a point of view and the ability to deal with different types of crowds and different races and different ages. You’re going to develop the ability to confidently deliver your point to all of these people. When you’re onstage, you have to confidently deliver what you feel like is funny. How I view it is the punchline, which is like the boom of the joke, it has to be delivered with an exclamation point and not a question mark.” Don’t feed hecklers: “The thing about hecklers is they always think they make the show better. That’s their mindset and most of the time they don’t mean any harm. I just take it as it comes. There’s no class for it. I’ve done comedy rooms that can get a little rowdy sometimes, but you develop that muscle.” Be your toughest critic: “Comics are delusional people so you have to get honest with yourself. Honestly assess your sets and your material because that will help you grow. You should be your toughest critic. If your show was 8 out of 10, ask yourself, ‘How can I get it to a 10?’ And if it was a 4, call it a 4 to yourself.” A fresh point of view: “I think the biggest mistake as a comedian is trying to write what you think people will find funny rather than writing what you find funny. Because really, what you’re trying to do is bring people into your world and have them see your point of view. So if I’m out chasing everybody else’s point of view and trying to make them like me, I’m not going to be authentic to myself. “I think if you write a joke and it’s funny to you, you should try it. Every joke can be broken down into race, religion, politics, sex, family and observation. It’s not like you wrote the joke that’s never been written before. Every joke is a variation of something else, but it’s your point of view. I’m not the only person who’s dealt with crazy relatives, but this is my point of view on my crazy relatives. When your point of view is fresh and you’re comfortable with you, then it all feels fresh.” Ω Follow Lance Woods on Twitter at https://twitter.com/SirLanceWoods

Where else to watch comedy Under-the-radar venues

mean more and cheaper laughs by Rebecca Huval

There’s plenty to laugh about in Sacramento: former Mayor Kevin Johnson getting pied in the face, the California State Fair goat that always tries to eat the skirts of unsuspecting women. Beyond that, hardworking Sacramentans want a reliable way to unwind and belly laugh to forget their troubles—and their country’s clownlike politicians. The usual comedy hangouts tend to get a lot of attention, like the Sacramento Comedy Spot, Punch Line Comedy Club, Laughs Unlimited and Tommy T’s. Here are some lesser-known venues around town.

Ooley Theatre With only about 30 seats, the Midtown venue has snug, underground vibes and cheap tickets. A weekly Thursday comedy show at 8 p.m. is BYOB, costs $8 and features mostly local stand-up comedians. Early next year, every first Saturday, nationally touring comedian Jason Resler will take the stage at 8 p.m. for $12 and Mike E. Winfield at 10 p.m. for $15. Or, if you’re feeling gutsy, get up on stage. The newly launched CapCity Improv offers drop-in improv classes every Sunday from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m. The first jam is free, and it costs $5 after that. For stage-shy comedy lovers, check out the $5 long-form performances by house ensembles the Conniption Fits and the Holy Rollers every third Saturday from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m.

swanky club. But one or two Sundays a month, Comedy Burger lightens the mood with host—and former co-host of the television show Cannabis Planet—Ngaio Bealum, who also pens The 420 column for SN&R. Talented locals like Keith Lowell Jensen and Cheryl “The Soccer Mom” Anderson grace the stage. 2708 J Street, http://momosacramento.com.

Third Space Art Collective Every other month, this funky art space in Davis features an all-ages comedy show with local and Bay Area comedians. The $5 cover benefits the studio or another worthy cause. David Liebe Hart—as seen on Adult Swim’s Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!—is scheduled to perform March 2017.

2007 28th Street, www.facebook.com/ CapCityImprov.

946 Olive Drive in Davis, http://thirdspacedavis .com.

On the Y

Oak Park Brewing Co.

At this cozy dive bar in Arden-Arcade, you could have chill evening of showing off your billiards skills in front of a biker gang. Or every Thursday at 8 p.m., you could enter the Comedy Zone—with no cover. The open-mic has featured neighborhood amateurs and pros who are stopping by for the evening. Keep the laughs going with the karaoke session that follows. 670 Fulton Avenue, www.facebook.com/ ontheysacto.

Momo Sacramento Above the bumpin’ shows at Harlow’s, Momo usually spotlights deejays in its

Alcohol and comedy are a natural recipe for laughs. Oak Park Brewing hosts no-cover comedy nights every third Monday of the month. The show starts at 8 p.m. and the bar opens at 6 p.m. so you can get warmed up ahead of time. The kitchen is closed on Monday, but you can bring in outside food. Although the venue is all-ages, the comedy is decidedly adult with four professional comics onstage for 10 to 20 minutes each. Past headliners include Daniel Humbarger, Anthony K, Mean Dave and Cheryl Anderson—this soccer mom gets around! 3514 Broadway, www.opbrewco.com. Ω

“THE COMEDY ISSUE!” continued on page 16 12.15.16 | SN&R | 15

continued from page 15

“THE COMEDY ISSUE!”

Race, burritos and jokes by Janelle bitker | Janelleb@newsreview.com

How Alfonso Portela balances cultural observations and characters in one of the city’s funniest acts

t’s not a great night at the Ooley Theater. Just a fourth of the seats in the tiny community theater are taken on this particular Thursday, and there’s this older white dude in the front row who won’t laugh at any of Alfonso Portela’s jokes. The Sacramento comic’s style employs characters, accents and fiery dialogue in the middle of clever stories and sometimes absurd situations. But it’s a simple setup and punchline that finally gets the stubbornly stoic guy. “My girlfriend calls my penis a super burrito,” Portela says, both hands on the mic. “Because I always have to finish it for her.” The man in the front row keels over, roaring for the first time all night. But the joke that precedes the penis joke is actually stronger, smarter—but it doesn’t always go over well with the older white guys. It’s a bit about Portela’s very real hankering for Chipotle while in San Francisco’s Mission District, and his brother’s resulting disgust. Where was Portela’s Mexican pride? Well, it was later found inside a Chipotle, watching a college-aged white girl struggle to wrap his burrito. He sneers: “Do you get my people’s struggle now? Do you get it? Does it make it sense to you, Claire?” If it doesn’t land, he segues to the other burrito. “It’s a solid joke. The crowds dig it. It’s about my penis. It’s got everything going for it,” Portela says, laughing. Portela isn’t a political comic. At all. But when he does address race and culture, it’s refreshing. It’s not charged with anger. And it’s not merely making fun of white people—something seen so often in the Sacramento comedy scene that it’s almost cliché. Most local stand-up shows feature a string of white dudes, give or take a woman or person of color. Despite the

Is this the Mexican dude you wanted? Photo BY LISA BAEtZ

16 | SN&R | 12.15.16

pattern, Portela says the scene is fairly diverse—certainly more than it was when he first started four years ago. Still, people come to shows with their own expectations. “Sometimes, an audience that would appreciate my not-whiteness is then immediately disappointed by my apparent whiteness, despite not being white,” he says. “They’re like, ‘This isn’t the Mexican dude I wanted.’” See burrito joke. He has a white power joke that— you guessed it—doesn’t always go over well with white audiences. And a gay joke that’s hit-and-miss, though not for the reasons you’re probably thinking. Instead, it flips the narrative: A dad is really disappointed in his successful, heterosexual sons, purely because they’re not gay. With pained facial expressions and passionate snarls, Portela’s performance really sells the irony. So, when audiences wouldn’t respond at first, insecurity grew. But Portela doesn’t let it bother him anymore. He’s come a long way since the informal start of his comedy career. When he was 12 years old, he’d write jokes for him and his brother, then they’d perform and critique each other—even though Portela was behind everything. As an adult, he became known around town for more than comedy: he’s a drummer in Modern Man and a skilled barista at Insight Coffee Roasters, a champion of latte art competitions. Looking ahead, Portela wants to rely less on character jokes and ramp up the punchy humor. “Anything that could be Tweeted— except I don’t Tweet,” he says. That super burrito joke does, indeed, come in at less than 140 characters. Ω

Alfonso Portela doesn’t really tweet, but you can follow him at https://twitter.com/fonzieportela.

The dark side of

comedy

Three comics share the wounds that inform their acts

by bl ake Gillespie

ffstage, stand-up comics aren’t so different. They wear their trauma under a thick skin like the rest of us. The difference is that onstage, every day is “Bring Your Trauma To Work Day.” The job combines the universal fear of public speaking with the task of confronting one’s inner demons. Mike Cella, Becky Lynn and Melissa McGillicuddy are professionals in this field. Their material spans the spectrum of post-traumatic stress disorder, breakups, isolation, identity issues and alcoholism, but each story overlaps in trauma, anxiety and alienation. It’s the hammer, nail and wood to build gallows humor. It’s only through comedy that they found a place where they feel accepted at face value. Lynn describes comics as existing on the Island of Misfit Toys, a reference to the broken, idiosyncratic toys from the stop-motion animated Christmas special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. “There’s this sense of dependency on dread and bad things that exist in my life to be able to write humor to counter it,” she says, and her cohorts in the community share that trait. Cella was working for a Fortune 500 company as a flight instructor. But his job placed

him in the same planes he flew during his time in service, training recruits to do a task that led to recurring thoughts and guilt from deployment. He is a former staff sergeant in the Air Force with five years of service that includes one deployment to Iraq. “Fear of flight is a real thing,” he says. “I was having a bad time and still sweating a lot and hid it as best as possible.” Unable to withstand the anxiety, Cella quit that job. Now, his stage persona exaggerates that side of him. It’s a fidgety presence that he embraces. “It turned into a thing where people liked it and I wasn’t even aware,” he says. “They’d be like, ‘I like your whole

awkward thing,’ and I’d be like, ‘What awkward thing?’ It was never deliberate. If it was, I think it would have been transparent. It’s just a manifestation of my nervousness.” He says he came from an old-fashioned home of children who are seen, not heard. The military was an additional five years of suppressing his self-expression. Recently, Cella decided to tell military stories on stage. Storytelling is a new approach for him, but it’s his way of leaning into many fears at once: the fear of failure, fear of people not liking him and fear of his past. “I’m going for pure vulnerability, I think. It doesn’t happen every set,” he says. “The more things I do that feel true to myself, the better I feel about it afterward.”

Melissa McGillicuddy, telling it like it is. Photo BY ShoKA

Lynn’s first joke was about her childhood.

She was born during the Loma Prieta earthquake. Her comic perspective is that she’s a survivor of shaken baby syndrome. She was transracially adopted, bullied for being adopted in junior high, and while researching adoption in high school, she learned a troubling fact about social services: ethnic babies are cheaper. “I do a bit about how my parents couldn’t pass up a good deal,” she says. “That was the first joke I ever wrote. I open with it often. I love that joke. It sheds light on things people may not otherwise have been informed of.” Born black with white adopted parents, she grew up with identity issues as well. “When you grow up with a family whose entire experience is incredibly different than your own, there’s a sense of loneliness and frustration,” she says. “I’m surrounded by these people that love me, but can’t identify with the world that I live in.” Lynn says stand-up taught her about self-reflection. Now, when she has a shitty day, she reflects on why in order to discover potential humor in it.

McGillicuddy is gay and a year-and-fivemonths sober. She was raised by her

mom in Folsom in a neighborhood she describes as being above their income level. Her mom was funny and humor played a big role in their home. But finding an identity and being in tune with that person was put on hold until her early 30s. She got sober and the question became, “What to do with all this free time?” A recent bit confronts her identity as a lesbian who doesn’t subscribe to gay culture. It stems from an inner conflict of not knowing she was a lesbian, learning it and yet still feeling unaccepted. It’s an issue she says doesn’t make for a “thriving dating environment.” “I have a joke that’s just like me doing an impression,” she says. “The impression is that I yell, ‘Can someone please just fuck me already!’ And then, I’m like, ‘That was an impression of me asking somebody to please fuck me already.’

“It just happened one night. I was sitting on my patio thinking, ‘What is the deal? Can I just have sex with somebody?’ It just developed into a bit because it’s a serious issue.” Besides the trauma, each comic also expressed a suffering from the absence of a creative outlet: loners that found a creative community to foster selfexpression. Comedy isn’t healing the mentally troubled, but it is channeling that instability into an expressive artform. “We’re probably all dysfunctional on some level, right? You have to be a little bit sick in the head to get up on stage and talk about shit,” McGillicuddy says. “We connect on that level.” Ω

Follow the comics on Twitter. Mike Cella: https://twitter.com/mikevcella Becky Lynn: https://twitter.com/ohthatsbecky Melissa McGillicuddy: https://twitter.com/melmcgillicuddy

“THE COMEDY ISSUE!” continued on page 19 12.15.16 | SN&R | 17

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need to transform their lives and not go back in the system.”

“Without the rehab, I probably wouldn’t have made it out here in society,” he says. “It’s a tough world out here.”

According to the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department, the county spends an average of $126 a day per inmate, whereas offenders on community supervision with services cost $20$25, according to the coalition’s research. The coalition is pushing the county to maximize cost-effective alternatives to incarceration and reinvest the savings.

y his early teens, Daniel Antonio Silva had already been in and out of juvenile hall. At 18, assault with a deadly weapon and murder charges landed him in prison for 39 years. Since his release in 2015, he credits prison rehabilitation programs with his success on the outside.

But what if Silva didn’t have the support to make his re-entry successful? Or what if he never ended up in the criminal justice system at all? The newly formed Sacramento Reinvestment Coalition is hoping to direct funding to local programs and issues that could prevent incarceration, resulting in better outcomes for individuals and the community. The coalition is comprised of several nonproﬁts, including Sacramento Area Congregations Together, PRO Youth & Families, Alliance of Californians for Community Empowerment, EBAYC Sacramento and Self Awareness Recovery, a nonproﬁt Silva founded that connects the formerly incarcerated with re-entry resources and reaches out to troubled youth. All of these organizations have received funding from The California Endowment. The group advocates that public money from various sources, including Proposition 47, should be reinvested into programs that address vital community issues like mental health, youth services, affordable housing, re-entry and employment. “We know that if we invest in treatment, mental health and rehabilitation, we can transform lives, reduce recidivism and the hefty costs of incarceration,” says Danielle Williams, coalition organizer. “They have the support that they

“WE BELIEVE SACRAMENTO COUNTY CAN DO GOVERNANCE DIFFERENTLY TO TRULY SUPPORT THOSE COMING OUT OF THE JUSTICE SYSTEM.” Danielle Williams Sacramento Reinvestment Coalition organizer In its ﬁrst act of advocacy, the coalition presented data and research on opportunities for reinvestment to the Sacramento County Board of Supervisors on Dec. 6. They pushed for the county to reap the beneﬁts of statewide Prop. 47 savings by applying for a statewide grant to fund mental health in re-entry. It requested that the board take a more detailed look at the demographics of

Danielle Williams of the Sacramento Reinvestment Coalition presents the Sacramento Board of Supervisors with opportunities for criminal justice reforms during the board’s Dec. 6 meeting. The coalition advocates for program funding to address vital community issues like mental health care, youth services, affordable housing, re-entry and employment. Photo by Anne Stokes people who are booked into county jail and their offenses, and determine what kinds of pretrial services and probation programs could reduce the number of jail bed days. Once they obtain that information, Williams says the coalition is planning to release a platform detailing how they would like the county to allocate funds for services that would keep people out of jail. “We believe Sacramento County can do governance differently to truly support those coming out of the justice system, so they don’t go back in,” she says. “It is a huge need.”

Your ZIP code shouldn’t predict how long you’ll live – but it does. Staying healthy requires much more than doctors and diets. Every day, our surroundings and activities affect how long – and how well – we’ll live.

In 2010, The California Endowment launched a 10-year, $1 billion plan to improve the health of 14 challenged communities across the state. Over the 10 years, residents, communitybased organizations and public institutions will work together to address the socioeconomic and environmental challenges contributing to the poor health of their communities.

For more information on how you can get involved in the coalition’s advocacy, contact Danielle Williams at Danielle@SacACT.org.

Health Happens in Neighborhoods. Health Happens in Schools. Health Happens with Prevention.

PAID WITH A GRANT FROM THE CALIFORNIA ENDOWMENT 18 | SN&R | 12.15.16

BUILDING HEALTHY COMMUNITIES

www.SacBHC.org

continued from page 17

“THE COMEDY ISSUE!”

A duo for

the ages

How the friendship between

Keith Lowell Jensen and Johnny Taylor Jr. drives their comedy to the big leagues

by A Aron CArnes

eith Lowell Jensen and Johnny Taylor Jr. sit outside Temple Coffee, acting and looking roughly the same as when they’re doing their stand-up routines. The wry and deadpan Taylor sips a latte while wearing a plaid shirt and thick-rimmed glasses. His beard is unwieldy, one side of his head shaved. Jensen, animated and verbose, pairs his vegan hot chocolate with an oldtimey paperboy cap and goofy grin. This contrast works brilliantly socially and professionally. No wonder they’ve performed together over 100 times. “This is going to sound like delusions of grandeur, but I love thinking of famous duos to compare us to,” Jensen says. Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin pop into his head first. Taylor is definitely Martin. Jensen is Lewis. No argument about it. “Abbott and Costello,” Taylor says. Jensen is Costello. Taylor is Abbott. “Felix and Oscar,” Jensen says. Jensen is Felix. Taylor is Oscar. Easy. The two also perform together so much because they’re close friends. They will end the year sharing a major achievement: co-headlining three shows at Punch Line Sacramento, a feat few local comics ever reach, particularly ones as DIY—and lacking in TV credits—as Jensen and Taylor. On a drive to a gig in Turlock a week earlier, they tease each other, swap weird but hilarious stories and ruthlessly complain about Donald Trump. Jensen talks with childlike glee about a mobile game he’s been devoting every spare second to called Pocket Mortys, which is based on Adult Swim’s Rick and Morty. Taylor quips: “Keith doesn’t like anything that isn’t a cartoon or has elves.” It’s the kind of stuff normal friends do, but funnier. “We bicker on the road, but we’re both joking the whole time, but it’s serious,” Jensen says. “I really am annoying the piss out of him, but it’s funny.” Jensen booked this particular show and invited Taylor to join him. Both comics are big enough to headline the small, rural town, but they do it together because it’s a chance to hang out. Taylor used to be Jensen’s go-to opener, but at this point they are neck-and-neck: two sophisticated, developed storytellers with distinct points of view. They regularly get the featured spots at A-list clubs all over the country, having performed alongside the likes of Robin Williams, Roseanne Barr, Louie Anderson, Doug Stanhope and Sacramento’s Brian Posehn. And both are sitting on professionally shot specials that will be released next year—and, depending on distribution, could launch the comics to national headliner status.

Taylor, a former combat sports enthusiast, gym owner and boxing instructor, jumped into comedy only six years ago. But he did so seriously and rapidly, performing about 300 sets in his first year. “I sacrificed everything: my marriage, social life, relationships with friends and family,” he says. He recorded his first special, Tangled Up In Plaid after two years, an unheard of length of time for a brand new comedian. With Jensen’s help, he got it released on Stand Up! Records. “I remember hearing people mocking me for recording a CD,” Taylor says. “People told me, ‘You’re not ready.’ It ended up being critically acclaimed. It didn’t get a bad review. It got me signed.” His second, forthcoming special, Bummin’ With The Devil, is even better. He keeps his pace even-keeled, never rushes a punchline and tells true stories with absurd details. There’s one where he tries and fails to tell off an acquaintance who has the audacity to wear a Metallica St. Anger shirt (their worst album!), and another where Taylor gets a ride from a young, eager comedian who gets in two car accidents on the way to their gig. Jensen’s upcoming special, Bad Comedy for Bad People, will be his fifth in about 15 years of doing comedy. As a kid he dabbled in skits, magic and ventriloquism, and he loved attention wherever he could find it. At first, he divided his time between stand-up and sketch comedy. In the last decade or so, he’s focused his efforts more exclusively on stand-up—and on building a national audience via YouTube and social media, in true DIY fashion. His early bits were Andy Kaufman-esque. He tried to tell a single 10-minute story at his first-ever paid gig and bombed. He ended up retelling this story on his first album, 2009’s To The Moon, and killed. Each subsequent album has been a process of more fully embracing his voice as a storyteller. “It’s sort of realizing who you are,” Jensen says. He’s already hard at work on his sixth, yet-to-be-filmed special, Not For Rehire, which links together several work-related stories. (Spoiler: He’s gotten fired a lot.) It’s engaging, hilarious and, at the end, so emotional it might bring you to tears. Their story together began the moment Taylor started comedy. Looking for an open-mic to try out, he Googled “Best Comedian in Sacramento” and came up with “Keith Lowell Jensen,” which led him to Luna’s Cafe & Juice Bar, where Jensen frequently hosted. Taylor approached Jensen about getting on one of his shows. Jensen, not knowing anything about Taylor, immediately said yes. “He just seemed smart, well-spoken. You can just tell,” Jensen says.

The two clicked right away and pushed each other forward. Over the past several years, they’ve developed their confidence and voice, which, as outspoken, atheist liberals, they admit isn’t for everyone. The audience in Turlock is one such crowd that gets uncomfortable with some of their content. Jensen makes a Trump joke, commenting on the president-elect’s KKK following. Crickets. Someone in the crowd shouts, “This is Turlock, you know.” Taylor tells a workplace story that has the audience in stitches until the end, when he talks about a co-worker who accidentally loaded up a white power website on her work computer. Silence. On the drive home, they are a little disappointed, but not really. Their style and integrity is everything to them. They have no interest in toning down their material for an audience. “The bottom line is, that kind of crowd wasn’t looking for me,” Taylor says. “They wanted someone else.” A lot of comedians say you should be able to win any crowd. Jensen’s response? “Yeah, if you want to be boring and have no individual personality,” he says Ending the year here in their hometown, where they both first crawled onto a stage, nervous, not knowing what to expect, and now getting to be the sole draw in the town’s major comedy club—that’s something special. “Keith’s a teammate, and he’s also a huge mentor to me. He believed in my comedy when no one knew to believe in it.” Taylor says. “It feels right to do it together. It feels like, ‘Wow, we did this shit.’” Ω

Johnny Taylor Jr. (left) and Keith Lowell Jensen in their natural state of embrace.

Photo by Jakub Mosur

Check out Keith Lowell Jensen and Johnny Taylor Jr. at 8 p.m. Thursday, December 22, or 8 p.m. or 10 p.m. Friday, December 23, at Punch Line Sacramento, 2100 Arden Way, Suite 225. Tickets are $15-$17.50. More at www.keithlowelljensen.blogspot .com and www.johnnyisntfunny.com.

“THE COMEDY ISSUE!” continued on page 21 12.15.16 | SN&R | 19

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“THE COMEDY ISSUE!”

Funny women by Janelle bitker | Janelleb@newsreview.com

here’s everyday sexism in stand-up comedy—that’s just a reality Ta’Vi Watkins says she’s learned to accept. “You’re going to be the only woman on a show because having too many women on a show would just be ridiculous,” she says. Two women is often too many, or at least, it seems that way looking at local lineups. For local stand-up comics like Watkins and Jaime Fernandez (pictured on the cover), that means every show presents the challenge of winning over an audience that’s simply grown accustomed to men. “Women in the audience are even tougher on girls,” Fernandez says. “They’re not just like, ‘Oh is she gonna be funny?’ They’re like, ‘Look at her, what’s she wearing?’” After four years of participating in and watching Sacramento comedy shows, Fernandez has grown to believe that audiences perceive female comics differently the moment they hit the stage. The energy in the whole room instantly shifts, and it’s up to the lady onstage to break the tension. “Comedy, I think, is selling your perspective,” Fernandez says. “If it’s four men in a row selling their perspective, even if they have original ideas, it’s still gonna be through a certain male gaze. When a girl comes up, that just changes.” A common situation: a guy’s sex jokes will get huge laughs, but then a girl’s similarly crude humor will be met with silence. It frustrates Fernandez, who has an arsenal of crass jokes: the homeless vagina one, the small tits thing, the “clit-ar.” “I have cum jokes that I can’t do— and I think they’re so funny—because people will be like, ‘Ugh, too much, too much.’” she says. “And if a dude talks about jacking off for an hour, people are like, ‘This is the best ever.’” Fernandez teaches the intro to stand-up class at the Sacramento Comedy Spot, and she specifically warns her female students against being too vulgar. There’s a line, a double-standard. It’s best to be aware of it, she says.

Of course, none of that casual sexism compares to the horrors big-league comics started telling the national press in the past couple of years: that there’s a deep culture of sexual harassment and assault in the comedy world. Does it happen locally, too? Depends who you ask. “I think a lot of the guys here are really good to the females,” Fernandez says. “There’s no creepy rape culture happening.” Watkins, however, quickly points to two instances where she says she felt deeply uncomfortable in her year of doing stand-up in Sacramento. During an open-mic sign-up huddle, she says another comic groped her. “I spoke to him about it and we no longer speak,” she says. And when Watkins opened a string of club shows for a nationally known comedian, she says she had to fend off aggressive advances from that comic’s manager. Amid repeated phone calls, invitations to hotel rooms and inappropriate touching, she tried to avoid him rather than confront him. Blame the reality of power dynamics in the entertainment business. “No one is going to knock someone who they think can take them to the next level,” Watkins says, adding that it comes down to self-preservation. “We’re outnumbered. There are too many of them for anyone to make it an issue.” Both Watkins and Fernandez agree that the male-to-female ratio in the Sacramento comedy scene is obscenely skewed. But Fernandez also thinks it worked to her advantage. When she moved to Sacramento, there were hardly any female comics. So, when clubs started wanting more females performing, she had an automatic leg up on the predominantly male competition. Within two years, she was working at Punch Line Comedy Club, the best in Northern California. Watkins, too, started working at Laughs Unlimited and Tommy T’s within just one year. Of course, it could also just be that they’re both really, really funny—two personal truth-speakers that audiences quickly find relatable. Fernandez’s self-deprecating, wordy and witty style complements her dark, feminist

Jaime Fernandez and Ta’Vi Watkins dish on local stand-up through a female gaze

Ta’vi Watkins, ready for her close-up. Photo BY LISA BAEtZ

perspective on the world. Watkins, meanwhile, unspools tales of what she sees as life’s mundane moments as a fat black woman with zero agenda and a bubbly, easygoing vibe. Lately, though, Fernandez has been spending more time producing shows than writing and performing. In addition to teaching, she hosts the weekly openmic at Luna’s Cafe & Juice Bar and books more comedy there every other Wednesday. And a few months ago, she launched Fem Dom Com, a monthly show every second Saturday at Fox & Goose Public House. The name stands for female-dominated comedy, and each show reverses the norm by touting four female comics and one token male. But, because there are so few women doing comedy in Sacramento, Fernandez has to

recruit out-of-towners to keep the lineup fresh each month. Still, there are increasingly more female comics in Sacramento—probably more than ever before. Watkins sees a lot of women at open-mics. Fernandez says her stand-up students lately have mostly been women—she pushes them toward her open-mic at Luna’s, which she aims to make a safe space for female comics. “When girls come around, it’s important for the community to work to make them stay,” she says. “So you can go to a show and it’s not one female and 10 dudes.” Ω

Follow Jaime Fernandez on Twitter at https://twitter.com/jaimelikesyou. Follow Ta’Vi Watkins on Facebook at www.facebook.com/tavi.comedy.

“THE COMEDY ISSUE!” continued on page 23 12.15.16 | SN&R | 21

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continued from page 21

“THE COMEDY ISSUE!”

The cult of improv Finding freedom, community and a charismatic leader at the Sacramento Comedy Spot

by Rebecca Huval

n a recent Monday night, a dozen grown-ass adults jerked their arms as if they were practicing remedial tai chi under a strobe light. In the improv comedy students’ minds, they were miming the throwing of knives, babies and angry cats—like that’s any saner. Brian Crall, the owner of the Sacramento Comedy Spot, watches as his students try to imitate how one would actually throw and catch these sensitive objects. “Why did Patrick bend his knees?” Crall asks the class. “You brace your weight because it’s a fucking baby,” a student answers. And in this way, the beginning pupils are inducted into the cult of improv. If you’ve watched season two of BoJack Horseman, you know that improv draws some convincing comparisons to Scientology. The signs are there: a pyramid scheme you pay into; a group of “friends” who all dress and act alike; strange rituals. Even improv performers themselves agree with the stereotype, if jokingly. “We wear the same things, like jeans and Chuck Taylors,” Crall says. “And we do warmup things that are like being around a fire, invoking demons.” When in a troupe, performers end up seeing each other two to three times a week, so they echo the same sayings and inside jokes. And those at the Comedy Spot help each other move furniture to a new apartment and share job openings, Crall says. “That’s why people get into comedy anyway: They’re looking for some kind of community to support them,” he says. “You take a class here, and all the sudden you have these new friends you would never have met outside of something like this. … They hang out all the time. They end up dating, going out to beers, dinner, getting married. We have people who met here and have kids now.” Interesting. That’s the same reason Todd of BoJack Horseman joined improv: because he was lonely. In a sense, he paid for friends. But Crall is quick to point out that the Comedy Spot isn’t a pyramid scheme

All Brian Crall needs is a long black robe. Photo BY ShoKA

because it pays all of its performers on the weekends. “It’s a pyramid scheme that pays you,” he says, “which is why we’re different from most theaters in the U.S., because at others, they never get paid.” (Suuure, like any ringleader atop a pyramid would say.) Justine Lopez was just an innocent theatre student when she was recruited into the cult of improv. Now, she does some messed-up shit on stage. “I’ve pretended to be Walt Disney jacking off in his room … while he was drawing Mickey Mouse. I’ve given birth as a queen ant and people were walking out from underneath my legs. I’ve done pooping scenes and just weird, weird things. A lot of dick and masturbation scenes.” At a recent show of the Comedy Spot’s Anti-Cooperation League, Lopez pretended to be inside of the robot Voltron. Even though she hadn’t watched that cartoon growing up, she went along with it. Hilariously, when asked a question about the robot in the scene, she responded honestly: “I don’t know … I’m more of a Power Rangers girl.” The punchline brought attention to the fact that Lopez was the only woman on stage. Improv and comedy tends to be a lot of “white bearded men in flannel,” she admits—the darker side of the cult. But Lady Business, her all-women troupe on the third Saturday of every month, is going gangbusters. “We’ve sold out the past couple of shows, we have returning customers,” she says. “They love seeing all women performing because improv is such an all-male entertainment source.” Lopez remains clear-eyed about the cultish nature of her art, but that hasn’t stopped her from buying into it wholesale. The improv concept of “yes, and”—agreeing with what your scene partner says and adding onto it—has guided her life choices lately. She’s said yes to things she never thought possible, like taking a day job and moving out of her parents’ house and into Midtown. “Before, I would say, ‘Fuck an office job, I want to be this creative person,’” she says. “Now I say, ‘Even if I’ve never experienced this before, it will open more doors for me.’” Yes, that’s right: The comedy cult’s webs are all around us, in such humorless places as the office. She got her current gig through someone at the Comedy Spot. “Even outside the stage, we lift people up because we care about these people,” Lopez says. “It’s a relief from normal life because you would never jack off as Walt Disney in normal life. You get to be free.” Ω

For more information about the Sacramento Comedy Spot’s improv shows and classes, visit www.saccomedyspot.com.

12.15.16 | SN&R | 23

24 | SN&R | 12.15.16

FOR THE WEEK OF DECEMBER 15

Cookies & Cocoa with Santa Saturday, december 17 It’s a win-win situation for parents and kids alike: work on your swing while the kiddos eat some sweets, guzzle some hot chocolate HOLIDAYS and mingle with the portly gift giver himself. And hey, who knows, maybe the big guy has some advice on what driver you should put on your list if you’ve been good this year. Free; 9 a.m. at Topgolf Roseville, 1700 Freedom Way; http://topgolf.com/us/roseville.

—eddie JorgenSen

Third Annual Onesie Pub Crawl Saturday, december 17 Strap on those single-piece PJ’s and grab your ID. It’s time for Midtown’s third annual Onesie Pub Crawl, organized by Justin Mina Photography. Bedtime booze-swillers will start at Kupros Craft House at 5 p.m. before hitting DRINKING The Golden Bear, Der Biergarten, Mercantile Saloon and LowBrau, finishing it off at Alley Katz. Free; 5 p.m. to 11 p.m. starting at Kupros Craft House, 1217 21st Street; www.facebook.com/events/1840604232844059.

—dave Kempa

Abbey Road Benefit Show Saturday, december 17 If only the Beatles had performed their classic Abbey Road in concert before breaking up. Luckily, here’s an alternative option supporting a good cause: Sacramento Preparatory Music Academy will be performing the album in its entirety. Proceeds MUSIC go to the iHeartMusic.org scholarship fund to help students participate in the program. $25; 7 p.m. at Scottish Rite Masonic Center, 6151 H Street; www.sacprepmusic.com.

—aaron carneS

Yule Ball 3 Saturday, december 17

unny, how we spend all our childhoods waiting to grow up, only to find out that life never really gets more magical than the moments when you actually believed an obese man broke into your house one night a year to give you presents, or that your extended family really enjoys spending time together. Anyway. Now that you’re grown, why not take the holidays to at least try and recapture as much of that sense of childhood wonder and happiness as you can? Behold the following activities specifically designed to take you back to that place when you weren’t stressed about filing all your expense reports before December 31: Kick it off with a cocktail, natch, but also some crafts at the popular annual

Holiday Crafts & Cocktails event at the Crocker Art Museum (216 O Street) on Thursday, December 15, from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. You can make a last-minute gift or decorations or just immerse yourself in the experience of using a hot-glue gun while drinking. Registration is $18-$25 and can be found at www.crockerartmuseum.org/event/1184/2016-12-15. Keep your buzz going while moving on to some comics with Graphics and Growlers at the New Helvetia Brewing Co. (1730 Broadway) on Saturday, December 17, from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Attendees will join B-Squad creator Eben Burgoon in discussion of the comics while sippin’ on some brewskis. Admission to the event is free; visit https://staybrilliant.co/ events for more details.

On Tuesday, December 20, at 6 p.m., Crayola the eff out of holiday tensions at Stress Buster Coloring for Adults at the Valley Hi-North Laguna Library (7400 Imagination Parkway). Admission is free and materials will be provided for what is being described as “challenging coloring pages.” They’re serious about the adultsonly bit; you must be over 18, but you can bring the young’uns to a screening of the all-ages classic The Muppet Christmas Carol at the Crest Theatre (1013 K Street) on the same evening at 7 p.m. Fozzie, Gonzo, Miss Piggy, Kermit and Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge will all be up on the big screen. Tickets are $8-$10; visit www.crestsacramento.com for more information.

—deena drewiS

Dust off your finest robes and tune up the broomstick ahead of the third annual Yule Ball out of the Harry Potter series. Attendees HOLIDAYS ages 14-19 (yeah, sorry, full-grown HP fans) can get sorted into a house, search for lost beasts and dance in the Great Hall. Registration requested though not required. Free; 8 p.m. starting at Tsakopoulos Library Galleria, 828 I Street; www.saclibrary.org/yuleball.

—deena drewiS

Women Stand Up for Equality Sunday, december 18 State electors meet on December 19 to officially vote for the next U.S. president. The night before, join a peaceful rally outside of the State Capitol to support the notion that everyone deserves ACTIVISM respect. All are welcome. Free; 2 p.m. at the California State Capitol, 1315 10th Street; www.facebook.com/events/1116678798446878.

—Lory giL

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12.15.16 | SN&R | 25

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New lunch spot tsukune turkey Burger, skool on k Skool on K now offers lunch, and considering its novel approach to seafood at night, I sought to check it out by day. Some of the new offerings include a mackerel banh mi sandwich and a curried tuna melt, but for some reason I settled on the more terrestrial Tsukune Turkey Burger ($11). A mild, not-too-sweet teriyaki sauce coats an ultra-tender turkey patty on a bed of earthy greens and a pickled red cabbage slaw, all between an airy bit of ciabatta. Pair it with a side of nori-dusted fries ($3) for that final “hey, it’s seafood enough” touch. 2319 K Street, http:// skoolonkstreet.com.

—anthony siino

Rock me like … BourB-icane, the jungle Bird IllustratIon by Mark stIvers

Country dining By Janelle Bitker

New Americana: The owners of Lucca Restaurant & Bar, Roxy and Lucky Dog Ranch opened Meadowlands Kitchen & Bar (12700 Meiss Road in Sloughhouse) last week at the original Sloughhouse Inn. Currently, it’s open for dinner Wednesday through Sunday for dinner as well as weekend brunch. Obviously, a major draw is the elegant, historic building, which was built in 1850. Foodwise, executive chef Danny Origel’s menu feels similar to his offerings at Roxy: new American with an emphasis on Lucky Dog beef. There are a few burgers, pizzas and salads, and the average entree costs about $20. The brunch game looks strong

pork ribs simmered in spicy tomato sauce ($11.95), for example. Taqueria Los Cantaritos (5412 Madison Avenue, Suites 170 and 180) offers breakfast, lunch, dinner and lots of taqueria classics. But there’s a clear emphasis on seafood as well, with shrimp platters ($11.99), fried whole tilapia ($11.99) and seafood molcajete ($18.99). jan el l e b @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

and on-trend with dishes such as avocado toast ($12), with bacon, eggs and hollandaise; baked eggs ($13) with lamb sausage and cilantro yogurt; and eggs benedict ($14) assembled on cheddar biscuits. Not just burritos: Two new Mexican spots recently opened up. Dali’s Kitchen (1948 Sutterville Road) in Land Park offers a contemporary setting, patio seating and a mix of taqueria standbys and surprises. There are vampiros ($2.25), similar to the mulitas at Chando’s Tacos; gorditas filled with black chili sauce ($3.95); pan-fried tilapia with green rice ($13.95); and

Crepe me: T-Crepes (1870 Prairie City, Suite 300) is now open in Folsom, bringing Japanese-style crepes and boba tea to the burbs. Savory crepes come stuffed with meat, salad and sauces like teriyaki or spicy mayo. On the sweet end of things, you can get one with ice cream and three toppings such as fruit, custard, Nutella or Pocky sticks. Most cost about $7. Get happy: Chef-owner Chris Barnum-Dann just added happy hour to Localis (2031 S Street), though he insists on calling it “local hour.” Last week saw meatballs crafted from lamb and rib-eye with roasted fennel yogurt ($7) and blackened prawns with smashed potatoes ($9). As for drinks, beers on draft are $2 off and designated glasses of wine start at $7. Ω

I’m not a fan of sweet froufrou drinks, which made me anxious about ordering from Sacramento’s new tiki bar the Jungle Bird. Tiki drinks are, by their very nature, usually sugary. The bar’s Bourbicane ($8) turned out be a simple pleasure, however. Made with Four Roses Bourbon and passionfruit syrup, any sweetness here is cut by lemon juice, sparkling wine and a healthy dash of bitters and absinthe. The resulting drink is pretty enough—it’s served in a tall cocktail glass garnished with a hibiscus petal—but the flavor profile is refreshingly clean, strong and, if a beverage can be such a thing, stoic. No fuss, no sugary muss. 2516 J Street, http://thejunglebird.com.

FROU FROU

—rachel leiBrock

Like guavas, sort of Feijoas Commonly known as pineapple guavas, feijoas generally grow in more temperate areas than northern California. You can find them here, though, forming green egg-sized fruits after a showy explosion of red flowers. While they aren’t biologically guavas, feijoas are related and can be eaten in much the same way. Cut ripe fruits in half and scoop out the slightly granular pulp. It’s full of vitamin C and has strawberry and—surprise—pineapple flavors. If you don’t like the taste, use the pulp as a natural exfoliant and glow for the holidays.

—ann Martin rolke

12.15.16 | SN&R | 27

Not your typical bar grub by Janelle Bitker

Highwater

But how about something that requires more finesse, like a salad with ancho chili-rubbed steak, grilled pineapple, cactus and agave-cilantro vinaigrette? The major components worked, but its fate 1910 Q Street, (916) 706-2465 fell with the details: The overdressed greens wilted quickly, saddened even further by the lackluster www.highwatersacramento.com vinaigrette, which needed more acidity. Dinner for one: $10-$15 In addition to shareable small plates and sandGood for: eclectic, well-priced bar food and brunch wiches, Highwater offers a few balanced entrees. Notable dishes: biscuits and gravy, kalua pork, burger, They all come with dirty rice—not a traditionally huevos rancheros Creole version, but one mixed with black beans— and smoky, charred vegetables. The kahlua pork ($13) didn’t exactly taste like the tropics, but the juicy, shredded meat held the signature, pleasing Don’t get me wrong, I miss Pour House’s whiskey sweetness. I bet it’s a winner in slider form ($10). fig and other preserves-based cocktails as much as Avoid the chicken adobo ($12), the most frustratthe next person. But under new ownership and a new ing disappointment I experienced at Highwater. name, the Midtown bar’s food and overall dining Though the title suggests the tangy, Filipino classic, experience has significantly improved. Bring on the the appearance better matched Mexican chicken hell or Highwater or whatever. tinga. Regardless, the chicken was hopelessly bland, Mick Stevenson and DJ Rogers of Dad’s even when loaded up with salsa in tacos ($9). Sandwiches and Dad’s on J bought Pour House Brunch might be Highwater’s best from restaurateur Trevor Shults about a year meal. Try the fluffy biscuit bread bowl ago. In August, they briefly closed up overflowing with sausage gravy ($8). shop and relaunched as Highwater. Gimmicky? Sure. Delicious, with a Your dining Highwater looks pretty much rich savoriness that rivals Bacon & identical to Pour House with the soundtrack is Butter’s rendition? Yes. exception of a vaguely Westernlikely to feature The flan French toast ($11) themed mural, which is good or sounds more exciting than it actuawesome indie and bad depending on how you felt ally is, but it’s still respectable and about Pour House. The exposed rock bands. therefore tasty, with a generous side of brick, table arrangement, televisions bacon or sausage. Better is the huevos and library of booze remain with a rancheros ($10): Every element is wellbigger emphasis on music. Your dining prepared, but Stevenson’s New Mexican red soundtrack is likely to feature awesome indie chile sauce makes it special. Feel confident ordering and rock bands like the Velvet Underground, War any item slathered in the stuff. on Drugs and Grizzly Bear. Still, Highwater is chiefly a bar. That means, in The biggest change is the eclectic, reasonably the harsh 11 a.m. light, the atmosphere feels like a priced and often very good food. Stevenson’s hangover—and picking up dirty silverware on two brunch, lunch and dinner menus feature influences separate occasions didn’t help matters. On one particfrom the South, New Mexico and Hawaii—much ularly sloppy afternoon, after examining a clump of of it within the comfortable, approachable dried, melted cheese on a fork, I found a stray tortilla confines of bar grub. Vegetarians and vegans have chip in my fries and a piece of roasted squash from options, too. another person’s lunch buried in my salad. Among more expected offerings, there’s a solid The cocktails, while well-made, certainly don’t burger ($14) with a nicely toasted, soft bun and wellcompare to the more ambitious Pour House days. But seasoned sweet potato waffle fries on the side. The plenty of craft cocktail haunts thrive in Sacramento oh-so-creamy mac ‘n’ cheese ($8) impresses with a already—there aren’t as many appealing, laid-back spicy kick. Based on the success of Dad’s alone, you bars for chowing down. Ω already know Stevenson can do comfort food.

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The easiest way to save

Get your orange on

everyone on your list. AND find something for

I’m not so into rain, cold and other things that come with winter—except for mandarin oranges. Yum. Fortunately, mandarins grow beautifully in the region, and fun, family-friendly activities are scheduled to take over a bunch of local orchards from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday, December 17, and Sunday, December 18, for Mountain Mandarin Orchard Days. Visit orchards in Penryn, Newcastle, Loomis, Lincoln and Auburn, and find farm animals, carousels for kids, art, crafts and lots of delicious things to taste. There will be mandarinflavored products like oils, sauces, honey, juice, jams, fudge and baked treats, as well as mandarins still hanging on their trees for you to pick. While you’re at it, try local wine and beer and take home other seasonal produce, such as lemons, persimmons and winter squash. Don’t forget to pick up a bag of mandarins for the road. For more information—and a full list of orchards—visit www.mountainmandarins.com.

—Janelle Bitker

The doctors will see you now—about eating more plants. A lineup of doctors, including John A. McDougall, his nurse wife and doctor son will be converging on Sunday, February 19, 2017, for Healthy Taste of Sacramento, a better-living-through-veganism conference. The speakers are medical professionals who use integrative medicine and science that supports eating a whole-foods, plant-based diet can reduce disease and improve health—and this seminar is scheduled right about

when people may need a boost for their New Year’s resolution to eat better. Also presenting are Garth Davis, Doug Lisle, Rosane Oliveira; plus vegan-food-makers chef Ramses Bravo, Chef AJ and Cathy Fisher. There are still tickets left as of this writing, and they cost $139 if purchased by December 31. It’s at Carmichael Seventh-day Adventist Church at 4600 Winding Way in Carmichael from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. More at www.healthytasteonline.com.

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A PAID ADVERTISING SUPPLEMENT

SN&R’s

TAP MAP

WHERE TO FIND THE REGION’S BEST CRAFT BREWS

spotlight taps

3 7

AUBURN

Crooked Lane Brewing Co.

65 49

99 ROSEVILLE

• Roaky Mandarina New England IPA yeast, citrus-forward hops and Mandarin flavor • Klasse Vienna Lager Toasted German malt, brilliant amber color and a crisp, dry finish • Swamp Angel IPA Unfiltered tropical and citrus hop character. Hop heads rejoice!

• Veedels Bräu Kölsch Crisp malt with noble hop aroma. Pear, apricot notes with a clean finish • SR16 IPA Unfiltered tropical hops create intense flavors upon a light malt background • Dottie’s Habit Chewy, chocolatey, stone fruit flavors roll through with an oatmeal mouth feel

Kupros Craft House CITRUS HEIGHTS

20 10

WOODLAND

FOLSOM 50

SACRAMENTO 5 14

DAVIS

RANCHO CORDOVA

• Lagunitas High West-ified Ale brewed with coffee and then aged in rye barrels • Device Salted Caramel Porter Smooth, salted caramel dark deliciousness

Track 7 Brewing Co. • English Mild Ale • Golden Guava IPA Citra and Cascade hops flavor Golden Guava, with tropical and citrus nuances; releases 12/14 on tap and in cans • Mo’Suka Northeast-inspired double IPA Double IPA verson of Sukahop: Mo’Haze, Mo’Juice, Mo’Piña; releases 12/21 on tap and in cans; releases 12/21 on tap and in cans

ELK GROVE

Capitol Beer and Tap Room

Pitch and Fiddle

2222 Fair Oaks Blvd., Sacramento 916-922-1745, www.capitolbeer.com, Mon-Thurs 11 a.m.-10 p.m., Fri-Sat 11 a.m.-midnight Sun 11 a.m.-9 p.m.

Curtis Park Market

8704 La Riviera Drive, Sacramento 916-573-4782, www.pitchandfiddle.com

Doyle’s Pub and Taproom 312 E. Bidwell St., Folsom 916-983-8277, www.doylespubandtap.com Tue-Thurs 11:30 a.m.-11 p.m., Fri-Sat 11:30 a.m.-midnight Sun 11:30 a.m.-9 p.m.

FinalGravity2.AuburnCA

FInalGravityAuburn

FG Roseville

FinalGravityRoseville

FinalGravityCA

1217 21st St., Sacramento 916-440-0401, www.kuproscrafthouse.com Mon-Thurs 11 a.m.-midnight, Friday 11 a.m.-2 a.m. Saturday 10 a.m.-2 a.m., Sunday 10 a.m.-midnight KuprosCraftHouse

KuprosSacto

30 | SN&R | 12.15.16

536 Grass Valley Hwy., Auburn 530-878-5232, www.crookedlanebrewing.com Mon/Wed/Thu 3-9 p.m., Fri 3-10 p.m., Sat noon-10 p.m. Sun 10 a.m.-9 p.m. CrookedLaneBrewing

CrookedLaneBrew

3514 Broadway, Sacramento 916-660-2723, www.opbrewco.com Tue-Fri 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m., Sat-Sun 11 a.m.-10 p.m. OakParkBrewingCompany

OakParkBrewCo

Track 7 Brewing Co. 9

3747 W. Pacific Ave., Ste. F, Sacramento (Curtis Park) 826 Professor Lane, Ste. 100, Sacramento (Natomas) 916-520-4677(HOPS), www.track7brewing.com Mon-Thurs 3-9 p.m.; Fri-Sun noon-9 p.m. Track7Brewing

9331 La Riviera Drive, Sacramento 916-364-8701

Nugget Markets 13 14 15

Oak Park Brewing Co.

Kupros Craft House

Crooked Lane Brewing Co.

FinalGravityCA

9205 Sierra College Blvd., Ste. 100, Roseville 916-782-1166 Mon-Wed noon-11 p.m., Thurs-Sat noon-midnight Sun noon-8 p.m.

La Riviera Market & Spirits

BREWERIES

Final Gravity Taproom & Bottleshop 1850 Grass Valley Hwy., Ste. C-300, Auburn 530-889-2175, www.finalgravitybeer.com Tue-Fri 3-10 p.m., Sat noon-10 p.m., Sun noon-8 p.m.

2703 24th St., Sacramento 916-456-6488 Sun-Mon 8 a.m.-11 p.m. CurtisParkMarket

DoylesPubandTap

PitchandFiddle

CapitolBeer

• Anniversary Collaboration Anniversary brew released in 16-ounce four-packs; collaboration ales with six breweries released in six-packs; all release 12/31

BOTTLE SHOPS

TAP ROOMS 1

• New Glory Curiosite Raspberry Berliner Weisse sour German wheat ale fermented with raspberries • Berryessa Tufts Ship IPA Aromas and flavor characteristics of fresh cut flowers, melon and overripe citrus • Lagunitas Dark Swan An experimentally hopped sour ale fermented with dark red wine grapes

16 17 18 19 20

1414 E. Covell Blvd., Davis 530-750-3800, Sun-Sat 6 a.m.-11 p.m. 409 Mace Blvd., Davis 530-753-6690, Sun-Sat 7 a.m.-10 p.m. 4500 Post St., El Dorado Hills 916-933-1433, Sun-Sat 6 a.m.-11 p.m. 7101 Elk Grove Blvd., Elk Grove 916-226-2626, Sun-Sat 6 a.m.-10 p.m. 1040 Florin Road., Sacramento 916-395-2875, Sun-Sat 6 a.m.-10 p.m. 771 Pleasant Grove Blvd., Roseville 916-746-7799, Sun-Sat 6 a.m.-11 p.m. 2000 Town Center Plaza, West Sacramento 916-375-8700, Sun-Sat 6 a.m.-11 p.m. 157 Main St., Woodland 530-662-5479, Sun-Sat 6 a.m.-10 p.m.

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craft happenings T HURSDAY, D E C. 15

TH URSDAY, D E C. 22

• Singer/Songwriter Night, 8-11 p.m. Kupros Craft House, 1217 21st St., Sacramento • NFL Ticket, during all NFL games Crooked Lane Brewing Co., 536 Grass Valley Hwy., Auburn • $4 Thirsty Thursday, 3-10 p.m. Final Gravity, 1850 Grass Valley Hwy., Ste C-300, Auburn • Thirsty Thursday, all day Oak Park Brewing Co., 3514 Broadway, Sacramento

F R IDAY, D E C. 16

A team at Geeks Who Drink trivia night, held Wednesdays at Sactown Union Brewery, consider possible answers. PHOTO BY ANNE STOKES

COOL TO BE GEEK Taproom trivia lets beer drinkers nerd out Do you ever feel like your knowledge of random facts goes unrewarded? So you can quote the entire 1994 movie “Tammy and the T-Rex” — who cares? Well, there are places in Sacramento where your awareness of fringe culture will no longer go to waste. Grab some friends, because chances are that somewhere in Sacramento, it’s trivia night! Trivia nights at taprooms, breweries and restaurants allow people to team up, set aside their phones (no cheating!) and test their knowledge on topics ranging from classic literature to sports to Ke$ha lyrics. Games of trivia consist of several rounds, with some nights featuring themes like Harry Potter or The Simpsons. The top-scoring teams win prizes like gift cards for the bar where the game is held. Josh Kress is the Grand Nagus (a “Star Trek” nod, for the uninitiated), or trivia host with Geeks Who Drink, a national trivia organization that hosts several events each week in the Sacramento area. A longtime trivia player himself, Kress knows how to form a strong alliance. “Know everybody’s strength and make sure you have all six people,” he says. “Fill your team. … Each person’s worth probably a couple right answers.” The cast of characters at trivia night can be as diverse as their base of knowledge. The host: Outgoing and charismatic, the host must be willing to put in some research — especially

SATURDAY, D E C. 17 • NFL Ticket, during all NFL games Crooked Lane Brewing Co., 536 Grass Valley Hwy., Auburn

BY KATE GONZALES

when running an independent trivia night. Established groups like Geeks Who Drink often provide questions and answers, making it easier to host. The host is the emcee, the teacher, the listener and the final say. The notetaker: This nerd means business, writing down all the questions and answers for reference. This player is no novice. The drunk guy: He’s good for two rounds, then gets testy. Kress says these people are permitted. “Hecklers are fine,” he says. “As quiz masters we have to be light on our feet.” The fanatic: She’s the hardcore trivia player who wants to discuss all the questions and answers afterward. She may continue the fact check once she’s gone home. The randos: Sometimes people are there for just a drink, then end up staying for the whole game. “Those are definitely my favorite,” Kress says, “where they have an unexpected good time.” He says people will sometimes start as randos then become repeat trivia night customers — which can be great for bringing in business. He adds that trivia nights slow down during the holidays, so newbies should test the water now. “It’s a good time to maybe swoop in and win some prizes,” he says. For a list of Geeks Who Drink locations, or information on becoming a host, visit geekswhodrink.com.

Trivia is a chance to test your knowledge and win bragging rights — and beer!

• NFL Ticket, during all NFL games Crooked Lane Brewing Co., 536 Grass Valley Hwy., Auburn • Clown Shoes Filthy Friday, 5 p.m. Capitol Beer and Tap Room, 2222 Fair Oaks Blvd., Sacramento

S U N DAY, D E C. 18 • Track 7 Trivia at Natomas, 5-7 p.m. Natomas taproom, 826 Professor Lane, Sacramento • NFL Ticket, during all NFL games Crooked Lane Brewing Co., 536 Grass Valley Hwy., Auburn • Music by Amber Rojo w/Bacon Straw, all day Crooked Lane Brewing Co., 536 Grass Valley Hwy., Auburn

M O N DAY, D E C. 19 • NFL Ticket, during all NFL games Crooked Lane Brewing Co., 536 Grass Valley Hwy., Auburn

T U E SDAY, D E C. 20 • Open Mic Night Tuesdays, 7 p.m. Oak Park Brewing Company, 3514 Broadway, Sacramento

W ED N E SDAY, D E C. 21 • Trivia Night, 6-8 p.m. Crooked Lane Brewing Co., 536 Grass Valley Hwy., Auburn • Taproom Trivia, 6:30 p.m. Final Gravity, 9205 Sierra College Blvd., Ste. 100, Roseville • $5 IPA Wednesday, 3-10 p.m. Final Gravity, 1850 Grass Valley Hwy., Ste C-300, Auburn • Pizza Port/Mother Earth Collaboration Night, 5 p.m. Capitol Beer and Tap Room, 2222 Fair Oaks Blvd., Sacramento • Burger Wednesday (Half off burger price with purchase of beer) Oak Park Brewing Co., 3514 Broadway, Sacramento

• NFL Ticket, during all NFL games Crooked Lane Brewing Co., 536 Grass Valley Hwy., Auburn • $4 Thirsty Thursday, 3-10 p.m. Final Gravity, 1850 Grass Valley Hwy., Ste C-300, Auburn • Thirsty Thursday, all day Oak Park Brewing Co., 3514 Broadway, Sacramento

F RI DAY, D E C. 23 • NFL Ticket, during all NFL games Crooked Lane Brewing Co., 536 Grass Valley Hwy., Auburn

SATURDAY, D E C. 24 • NFL Ticket, during all NFL games Crooked Lane Brewing Co., 536 Grass Valley Hwy., Auburn

MO N DAY, D E C. 26 • NFL Ticket, during all NFL games Crooked Lane Brewing Co., 536 Grass Valley Hwy., Auburn

TUE SDAY, D E C. 27 • Open Mic Night Tuesdays, 7 p.m. Oak Park Brewing Company, 3514 Broadway, Sacramento

WE D N E SDAY, D E C. 28 • Trivia Night, 6-8 p.m. Crooked Lane Brewing Co., 536 Grass Valley Hwy., Auburn • Taproom Trivia, 6:30 p.m. Final Gravity, 9205 Sierra College Blvd., Ste. 100, Roseville • $5 IPA Wednesday, 3-10 p.m. Final Gravity, 1850 Grass Valley Hwy., Ste C-300, Auburn • Burger Wednesday (Half off burger price with purchase of beer) Oak Park Brewing Co., 3514 Broadway, Sacramento

TH URSDAY, D E C. 29 • Thirsty Thursday, all day Oak Park Brewing Co., 3514 Broadway, Sacramento • $4 Thirsty Thursday, 3-10 p.m. Final Gravity, 1850 Grass Valley Hwy., Ste C-300, Auburn

SATURDAY, D E C. 31 • Track 7 5th Anniversary New Year’s Eve Party, noon-9 p.m. Party held at both taprooms, 3747 W. Pacific Ave., Ste. F, Sacramento (Curtis Park) 826 Professor Lane, Ste. 100, Sacramento (Natomas) • New Year’s Eve Party, noonmidnight Final Gravity, 9205 Sierra College Blvd., Ste. 100, Roseville

12.15.16 | SN&R | 31

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916-482-2772 www.MELLOWMEOUT.com 32 | SN&R | 12.15.16

Open 7 days 9am–9pm

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(Corner of Watt & Arden behind Burger King)

To see event schedules and purchase tickets go to:

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211 N Virginia St. Reno, NV 89501 Entrance on Virginia Formerly The Knitting Factory

Now playiNg

ReviewS

A Christmas Carol

The elf bomb By Jim Carnes

Greg Alexander plays a sly Scrooge in Buck Busfield’s comic adaptation of the Charles Dickens tale. Challenging his ghosts and tempting his fate, this Scrooge finds redemption in a most unorthodox way. Director Dave Pierini puts a marvelous ensemble through fast-paced action and plenty of costume changes. Th, F 8pm, Sa 5 pm

and 9pm, Su 2pm, T 6:30pm, W 2pm. Through 12/31. $26-$38;

B Street Theatre, 2711 B Street; (916) 443-5300; www .bstreettheatre.org. J.C.

Cinderella

more little bottles of booze, please.

The Santaland Diaries

7 p.m. thursday, 8 p.m. friday, 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. saturday, 2 p.m. sunday, 7 p.m. tuesday and Wednesday; $33-$42. capital stage, 2215 J street; (916) 995-5464, http://capstage.org. through December 31.

Benjamin T. Ismail seems to have been born to play Crumpet the Elf, one of Santa’s helpers in the holiday hell that is Macy’s Herald Square department store at Christmastime. Based on the experiences of writer David Sedaris, this short, mostly one-person play was adapted by Joe Mantello and has become a staple of modern holiday theater fare. This is not the first time, nor even the second, that Capital Stage has presented it. The Santaland Diaries has none of the saccharine sweetness of many shows of the season—and plenty of the sarcastic and sardonic wit for which Sedaris is known. Director Shannon Mahoney savors the satirist’s dazzling wit and dizzying speed, barreling through the plot like Santa on Christmas Eve. The story goes like this: Newly arrived in New York City and desperate for work, Sedaris discovered a newspaper want ad for Santa’s assistants at Macy’s. Mortified at the prospect but in need of money, he donned the striped leggings, baggy shorts, vest and goofy hat of Crumpet. Ismail’s elastic face and expressive voice are the perfect vehicles for this behind the scenes look at the making of Santaland “sausage”: the processing of visitors through a maze of false mirrors, fake trees and manufactured glee. He delights in recounting the antics of pushy parents, of kids peeing in the potted plants, of ambitious elves, devious acts of delusion and some Santas who prefer little bottles of booze to little boys and girls.

Photo courtesy of caPital stage

$!@* Christmas (But Gently and With Love)! Already filled beyond capacity (or comfort) with the so-called holiday spirit? A new production, written by Katie Rubin, might make for the perfect antidote. Rubin is a solo show performer whose traveled the country for more than eight years. Many of her shows have been presented at Capital Stage and on December 18, she opens her latest play, $!@* Christmas (But Gently and With Love)! for one night only. The show is irreverent, Rubin stresses, and pokes fun at the entire notion of the holiday season, religion and tradition. “Then it does a 180 and comes back in a sweet way,” she says. The story revolves around a cranky grandmother who hates the holidays mostly because she is really angry at her daughter. The elderly woman is countered by her granddaughter, who is full of hope and positivity and youthful innocence. The young girl may be some kind of wizard as well, because she works a sort of magic on the grandmother. Expect plenty of surprises throughout the onehour show—including profanity, substance abuse and, even, vomiting. Just some basic anti-holiday fun, Rubin says. And, she adds, the story is personal, too, exploring her own journey with the obligations and stresses of the holiday and how she has come to, finally, make peace with them. —Bev SykeS

This is a hilarious British pantomime version of the beloved fairy tale, with song, dance, buffoonery, slapstick, crossdressing, in-jokes, topical references, mild innuendo and audience participation. In other words, there’s enough action for the youngest child and plenty of double entendres for the adults. Th, F 7pm Sa 2pm and

7pm; Su 2pm; W 7pm. Through

1 foul

1/1. $20-$40. Sacramento Theatre Company, 1419 H Street; (916) 443-6722; www .sactheatre.org. B.S.

Robin Hood

Robin and his merry men swing through the Sherwood Forest, fighting the evil Sheriff of Nottingham in this delightful one-act play from the B Street Theatre. The show, which features five talented B Street regulars performing multiple roles, is recommended for all ages. Sa, Su 1 pm and 4 pm. Through 12/24. $18-$23. B Street Theatre, 2711 B Street; (916) 443-5300; www.bstreettheatre.org. B.S.

Jouni Kirjola, it’s a marvel of timing and execution. The play itself, however, could be better. Th, F and Sa 8pm. Through 12/17. $12$18. Big Idea Theatre, 1616 Del Paso Boulevard; (916) 960-3036; www.bigideath eatre.org. J.C.

short reviews by Jim carnes and Bev sykes.

The 39 Steps

Alfred Hitchcock’s 1935 spy movie gets a madcap comic interpretation in this adaptation by Patrick Barlow. A cast of four wildly talented actors—Ian Hopps, Stephanie Hodson, Scott Divine and Zachary Scovel—play more than 100 characters, sometimes more than one at a time. Directed by

fair

gooD

Well-DoNe

5 suBliMe– DoN’t Miss

Holidays en pointe. Photo courtesy of the caMellia syMPhoNy orchestra

The Nutcracker and beyond This Saturday, December 17, the Camellia Symphony Orchestra, conducted by Christian Baldini, will be joined by the Bellissima European Dance Academy for a performance featuring highlights from Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker. The concert’s second half will feature a classic not necessarily associated with the holidays, but one that’s a crowdpleaser nonetheless: Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5. Reservations recommended. $8-$30; 7:30 p.m. Saturday, December 17, in the Sacramento City College Performing Arts Center, 3835 Freeport Boulevard; (800) 838-3006; www.camelliasymphony.org.

—Jeff HudSon $!@* christmas (But gently and With love)!; 7 p.m. sunday, December 18; $25-$30. capital stage, 2215 J street; (916) 995-564; http://capstage.org.

12.15.16 | SN&R | 33

The easiest way to save AND find something for everyone on your list.

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34 | SN&R | 12.15.16

Sacramento News & Review

Rogue One: a Star Wars Story

by Jim Lane

are not to bring Erso in but to kill him on sight. Thus Jyn and Cassian are at cross-purposes from the start, although only he knows it. Midway, the MacGuffin switches from the Death Star’s creator to its blueprints, plans Not so long ago, in a galaxy right here, the Star Wars revealing the weak point at which the Star can be pictures stopped being movies and became episodes in destroyed. To find and steal these plans, Jyn and the Gospel according to St. George Lucas. Star Wars Cassian form Rogue One, a volunteer commando ceased being Star Wars and became Episode IV: A team, sort of The Dirty Dozen in space. That New Hope; anyone who insisted on referring to it by opens the door to plenty of action. (For the record, its former (i.e., “real”) title risked being condemned Imperial Stormtroopers still can’t fight worth as an apostate. beans—their aim stinks, and they can’t even I don’t like to criticize anybody’s religion, get the best of a blind man with a stick, so let’s just say that true believers will played by Donnie Yen). find Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Director Gareth Edwards keeps satisfactory. It doesn’t have the things moving well enough to revelatory impact of the first meet the modest needs of the movie, and it never approaches script (by Chris Weitz, Tony True believers will find the ecstatic peak of The Empire Gilroy, John Knoll and Gary Strikes Back. Nor does it Rogue One: A Star Wars Whitta). Individual characters deliver the joy of rediscovery make little impression, but as satisfactory. Story that J.J. Abrams brought to things turn out (semi-spoiler last year’s The Force Awakens alert!) that doesn’t really matter. (after three dreary episodes from Actually, one character does Lucas). In fact, this new installment register strongly: Governor Grand (call it Episode 3.99, since it ends Moff Tarkin, who died on the Death approximately 45 minutes before Star Star—and was played in 1977 by Peter Wars begins) is pretty much routine. But for the Cushing, who died in 1994. For Rogue One Tarkin faithful, “routine” will be plenty good enough. is back and so is Cushing, courtesy of CGI; if Alfred Hitchcock’s movies used to have a memory serves, he has even more screen time here “MacGuffin”—papers, microfilm, secret formula, than he did the first time around. whatever—something everybody was after, and on Is this a dry run for a return of the late Alec which the picture’s suspense set-pieces could be Guinness as Obi Wan Kenobi somewhere down hung. The MacGuffin here has to do with the Death the line? Maybe. In any case, it means the most Star, which is almost ready to be deployed against interesting performance in Rogue One is given by the Rebel Alliance. First, it’s Galen Erso (Mads an actor who’s been dead for 22 years. Ω Mikkelsen), the Rebel turncoat who is building it; to locate him and bring him back to testify before the Rebel Senate, the Alliance enlists his daughter Jyn (Felicity Jones). Accompanying her is Capt. Cassian Poor Fair Good Very excellent Andor (Diego Luna); unbeknownst to Jyn, his orders

a squad of plucky nobodies against an empire. Wonder who will win.

1 2 3 4 5 Good

fiLm CLiPS

BY DANIEL BARNES & JIM LANE

Collateral Beauty

When a grieving father (Will Smith) remains almost catatonic two years after his daughter’s death, his friends and business partners (Edward Norton, Kate Winslet, Michael Peña) resort to desperate measures. To say more would be spoiling things (the movie’s trailer is a masterpiece of misdirection). Suffice to say this would-be tearjerker from writer Alan Loeb and director David Frankel is too slick and pat by half; its symmetrical smoothness is its own worst enemy. Heartstrings resist such clearly calculated tugging; good tearjerkers tend to be a bit more messy. Still, it’s a divertingenough anecdote, well-acted by an aristocratic cast: Keira Knightley, Helen Mirren, Jacob Latimore and Naomie Harris are also along. The most interesting performance is a cameo by Ann Dowd as an unorthodox private eye. J.L.

Incarnate

A scientist who can enter the minds of people who are demonically possessed (Aaron Eckhart) takes on the case of an 11-year-old boy (David Mazouz) possessed by the same demon who killed the scientist’s wife and son. Written by Ronnie Christensen and directed by Brad Peyton, it’s Inception meets The Exorcist, and the best thing you can say for this routine scare-’em-up is that the final result isn’t as idiotic as the premise sounds. Not quite. But it’s silly enough, with science and religion tag-teaming Christensen’s mumbojumbo dialogue. It’s a mystery why Eckhart signed on for this junk—but an actor’s got to eat, and they can’t all be Sully or Bleed for This. With an optimism that’s almost touching, in its way, Peyton and Christensen set up the ending as if they think they’ll be making a sequel. J.L.

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They’re dressed awful fancylike for a couple seeing Sausage Party.

The Eagle Huntress

Otto Bell makes his feature directing debut with this girl power documentary narrated by Daisy Ridley. The film follows Aisholpan Nurgaiv, a 13 year-old Kazakh girl who becomes the first female eagle hunter in her family’s storied history, training a golden eagle to respond to her commands for the purpose of hunting foxes and competing in cultural festivals. Robert Flaherty’s 1922 film Nanook of the North is generally credited with creating the documentary form, even though much of the footage was staged for the cameras. In other words, there’s a long tradition of making stuff up in documentaries, so while The Eagle Huntress satisfies in the style of a Disney adventure movie, and it’s thrilling to watch the apple-cheeked Aisholpan wield her majestic bird and beat all the snooty male jerks, the pat story arcs, predictable character beats, slick action scenes and suspiciously westernized language definitely raise some eyebrows. D.B.

Jackie

Natalie Portman stars as Jacqueline Kennedy in this contemplative but shallow biopic from Chilean director Pablo Larraín. The film largely takes place in the immediate aftermath of the 1963 Kennedy assassination, as Jackie deals with the trauma of her husband’s death and struggles with how to properly honor his legacy, even as she’s getting edged out of her home by the new administration. As with the other Larraín-directed biopic released this year (the Chilean Oscar submission Neruda), Jackie has a dreamy tone and flowing structure that both get undermined by a groaner narrative framing device. All the perfectly manicured technical elements assembled by Larraín—Stéphane Fontaine’s lyrical cinematography, Jean Rabasse’s flawless production design, Mica Levi’s haunting score, even Portman’s heavily mannered performance—are the reasons to watch Jackie, even as they overwhelm a slight and not particularly revealing story of strength and grace under the world’s microscope. D.B.

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La La Land

A coffee-shop barista and aspiring actress (Emma Stone) and a frustrated jazz pianist (Ryan Gosling) meet, fall in love and struggle against the dream-killing city of Los Angeles, even as their careers pull them in opposite directions. Writer-director Damien Chazelle’s movie begins as an exuberant musical comedy (with clever songs by Justin Hurwitz, Benj Pasek and Justin Paul) and ends as a bittersweet reflection on what might have been. The transition isn’t always smooth; the movie sags in the center as the songs grow sparse. But there are virtues, too—chiefly the proven screen chemistry between Stone and Gosling. (Their song-and-dance chops aren’t half-bad, either.) Linus Sandgren’s luscious cinematography is another plus, along with a pervading sweetness imparted by Chazelle’s affectionate direction. J.L.

Man Down

Shia LeBeouf became an omnipresent nuisance on movie screens throughout the 2000s, but give him credit for going cold turkey from franchise dreck ever since 2011’s Transformers: Dark of the Moon, and for working with more interesting directors. The performances and the films are gradually getting better, but they can’t all be winners. Man Down premiered at the Venice Film Festival in September 2015, where it was greeted with largely negative reviews, and, unlike a fine wine, the film did not improve with age. Director and co-writer Dito Montiel casts LeBeouf as Gabriel Drummer, a troubled veteran searching for his child in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, while flashing back to prewar life with his wife (Kate Mara), and to wartime sessions with an army therapist (Gary Oldman). LeBeouf works his tail off, but too many scenes are meandering and shapeless, with only the puzzle box structure of the story left to hold our interest. D.B.

Miss Sloane

A ruthless, workaholic Washington lobbyist (Jessica Chastain) takes on the NRA over a background-check bill making its way through Congress. First-time writer Jonathan Perera appears to have come down with a bad case of Aaron Sorkin Disease—his script is a fervid manifesto masquerading as a political thriller, ringing false from the title on down (does anybody even say “Miss” anymore outside of beauty pageants?), and bristling with dialogue that sounds like bumper-sticker slogans cribbed from the Huffington Post gift shop. Chastain stomps around barking at everybody—she practically has “ball buster” tattooed on her forehead—while director John Madden and his cast (Sam Waterston, John Lithgow, Mark Strong, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Alison Pill, etc.) struggle to bring all these glib stick figures to life. J.L.

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Nocturnal Animals

Tom Ford made his name as a fashion designer and creative director for Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent, so when he released his 2009 directorial debut A Single Man, it was hard to tell if Ford was a cinematic devotee or a dilettante. It didn’t help that the film was eminently tasteful and immaculately appointed, as much designed as directed, the sort of bloodless actors’ showcase created to court awards voters. Seven years later, Ford delivers his follow-up film Nocturnal Animals, and it finally feels like he means business. The storytelling is both more refined and more brutishly personal, and the film strikes a balance between inscrutability and accessibility, between Lynch-ian art horror and Deliverance-like exploitation. A Single Man was the work of a talented tourist; this is the work of a true filmmaker. Amy Adams stars as Susan Morrow, an art gallery owner whose life has become a series of false surfaces. D.B.

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Office Christmas Party

A Chicago IT company manager (Jason Bateman) and his dipsy-doodle boss (T.J. Miller) decide to throw a huge holiday party—in defiance of the boss’ mean sister (Jennifer Aniston), who also happens to be the CEO. Two directors (Josh Gordon, Will Speck) and six writers (Justin Malen, Laura Solon, Dan Mazer, Jon Lucas, Scott Moore, Timothy Dowling), and all they had to do was find an excuse for the kind of party scene that happens only in lame-brained movies like this. Is this the best they could come up with, really? Well, the party’s there if that’s what you’re looking for; all that’s missing is a swimming pool full of 20-somethings pretending to be high school kids. Bateman and Aniston discharge their duties dutifully and doggedly, followed by Olivia Munn, Courtney B. Vance, Kate McKinnon and others. J.L.

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His comedy reflects his culture, his family’s early struggles living in a new country and the more awkward moments of high school. During his sets, De Guzman is accompanied by an acoustic guitar, which he lightly strums as he delivers jokes and sings original songs. Taking note from comedic influences like Flight of the Conchords and Demetri Martin, he sings quick and witty tunes with a soulful, R&B-like voice that invites the audience Follow the sound of musical comedy. into his world of real-life experiences—like the time another guy swooped in on his prom date. The once-unfortunate scenario turned into opportunity. A YouTube video of De Guzman’s prom song There was a time when JR De Guzman felt like he has received more than 200,000 views. In October, wouldn’t get back onstage. the song was reenacted on Acting Out. “I got off after two minutes and thought about Comedy is De Guzman’s full-time gig. He spends maybe never doing it again,” he says. a majority of his days traveling to venues all over the Still, it was just the beginning of his musical country. Through his experience, he says he learned comedy career. Bombing for comics is inevitable, but to develop a body of jokes that are relatable to now, De Guzman is busy riding comedy highs audiences in any city or country willing after appearances on Kevin Hart’s Comedy to give him five minutes onstage. Central show Hart of the City and Two years ago, he flew to “I’m really MTV’s stand-up and sketch comedy the Philippines to volunteer interested in series Acting Out. with the country’s earthquake “It was the best feeling in the what makes old relief efforts. When he found world to see Kevin Hart laughing a “booming comedy scene” people laugh, young at my jokes,” De Guzman says. at night, his plan to stay a people laugh, gay or “That was so validating. I have month turned into a year. His this dirty Christmas song and he straight.” goals for next year include was like dying.” writing a television pilot for JR De Guzman And De Guzman recently a major network and building comedian returned from Los Angeles, where his fanbase overseas as well as he was a finalist for Stand-Up NBC. at home. The initiative aims to diversify what’s an “Doing stand-up in the Philippines ordinarily very white field, with the winner—past and in Asia and Europe, I wanted to find ways success stories include Hannibal Buress and Ian to make everybody laugh,” he says. “I’m really Edwards—receiving an NBC development deal. The interested in what makes old people laugh, young results should be coming any day now. people laugh, gay or straight. I can believe one With his debut comedy album, Dual Citizen, thing religiously or politically, but if we laugh set for release in February 2017 through 800 Pound about something in that moment, we’re agreeing Gorilla Records, the 26-year-old is already focused and connecting.” Ω on next year’s possibilities. “I’ve always had this in my head that 2017 is going to be a really big year,” he says. “I took a leap of faith and the net came out. It sounds cheesy, but it See JR De Guzman at 8 p.m., tuesday, December 20, at Laughs Unlimited, worked out.” 1207 Front Street. tickets are $5. or catch him at 8 p.m. thursday, December 22, at the ooley theater, 2007 28th Street. tickets cost $8. De Guzman was born in the Philippines and his More at www.jrdeguzman.com. family moved to the United States shortly after.

—Janelle Bitker jan el l e b @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

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Francisco-based Tycho is, of course, Sacramento native Scott Hansen’s project, which also includes local Zac Brown. Tycho’s fourth record Epoch was nominated for best dance-electronica album, up against heavyweights Flume, Jean-Michel Jarre, Underworld and Louie Vega. Hansen got his start playing Sacramento clubs, back when the electronic scene was in its mere infancy.

VIEWING PARTY FRIDAY, DECEMBER 30 4PM | $30 AT THE DOOR $20 PRESALE TICKETS ONLINE

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Hometown hero: Congratulations to Tycho for snagging its first-ever Grammy Award nomination. San

on stands 12/29

song offers its own unique take on the concept of structure, the only constants being Pavao’s hypnotic voice, Smith’s propulsive rhythm and layers of texture. At LowBrau, the duo performs as a four-piece—a big sound that’s a little much for the bar’s acoustics to handle properly, but no one really cares. Everyone is a friend or fan or both, and Pavao’s eyes light up throughout the set whenever she spots another familiar face. “This is the end of a journey,” she says bluntly. “It’s been really rough.” Chapter closed. Time for the artistic freedom of whatever comes next. The crowd thins before Doombird’s set begins, an unfortunate reality of the late hour. It’s also a big night for Doombird: the group’s return after a year of silence, recording and reinvention. While Doombird’s first album showed off what singer-songwriter Kris Anaya and a 12-piece orchestra could do with pop, the upcoming record and official debut promises a more ’80s-influenced, indie-electronica feel that’s also more fully realized and focused than Doombird’s synthpop collection Cygnus. At LowBrau, Anaya debuts this five-piece’s new direction with a voice that seems to float and glide above an ever-widening wall of sound. It’s heavier, more ambient, less poppy but still danceable. In other words, keep your eyes peeled for Past Lives, which drops Friday, December 30.

an ethereal wonderland of creative mania and steep technicality. Each

Take three: Like many last Saturday night, Jayson Angove called for a round of applause for Danielle Vincent. “You work your ass off to make this happen, so we appreciate you,” he said during Humble Wolf’s set at the official launch party for the third annual First Festival, which takes place May 6 and 7 next year. After a successful debut, founder Vincent expanded her all-local fest to two days and 40 bands earlier this year. Unfortunately, hardly anyone showed up. It left Vincent stunned and heartbroken—not to mention the financial bind—but she’s coming back even stronger for next year’s festival. It’s returning to the original fest’s month and location in River Walk Park, and the lineup promises to be its strongest yet. At the launch party, Vincent announced six headliners, building up to the ultimate: Oleander, a nationallevel booking that still aligns with First Festival’s local focus. The postgrunge band started in Sacramento in the ’90s and, three years ago, put out its first record in a decade. Fellow headliners Some Fear None and Arden Park Roots have proven they can deliver crowds at Concerts in the Park. While the hip-hop community complained about a lack of representation in 2016’s lineup, DLRN’s headlining slot means next year will probably be very different. City of Vain and the Moans round it out with more punk. Early-bird tickets go on sale January 1 and cost $25 for a single day and $40 for the weekend. More at www.firstfestivalsacramento.com.

best of the best issue

Two big returns: LowBrau is filled up to capacity before Lindsey Pavao even starts breathing into the mic. More than anything else, Pavao looks relieved. It’s the night of her debut album release with Trophii, her duo with Richie Smith, formerly of Life in 24 Frames and a slew of other local indie bands. This album has been years in the making—two or four, depending on how you look at it. After competing on NBC’s The Voice, she felt crippling pressure to release a solo record, eventually gave into the selfish artist within—her words, not mine—and linked up with Smith to release the album on her own timeline. And what an album. Vitamins and Flowers is billed as dream-pop but sounds much more like a dream than any pop hit on the radio:

SA TU RD AY ,D EC EM BE R

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15 T HU

16 FRI

Xasthur

Cam’ron

Herschel Roy

Larisa Bryski

Starlite lounge, 8 p.m., $10

Harlow’S reStaurant & nigHtclub, 9 p.m., $25-$30

Scott Conner came screaming out of the abyss with his first couple of releases. Unlike other like-minded one-man acts such as Leviathan and even Striborg, Conner offered an alternate take for those suffering from depression. His brash recordings seemingly glorified death and gave one the feeling they were were being dragged to another fiery dimension. As expected, this is a rare ACoUsTIC acoustic show where, in keeping with the weather forecast, some very ill winds will blow. 1517 21st Street, www. facebook.com/Xasthur-acousticunplugg ed-824188390951258.

Ever since Cam’ron wore head-to-toe pink mink inside a “Laffy Taffy” Range Rover, he’s become a ubiquitous presence in pop culture. He’s a meme mocking Bill O’Reilly, he designed a line of pink Reebok cross trainers and caricatures of HIp-Hop his pink fur look appear on Valentine’s Day cards. In fact, any time a rapper dons pink clothing or makes reference to pink or purple, specifically of the purple-haze variety, they do so in the name of Cam’ron. Still no word on the delayed release of his announced Killa Pink record. 2708 J Street, www.facebook.com/ OfficialCamron.

—eddie JorgenSen

—blake gilleSpie

Starlite lounge, 8 p.m., $5

old ironSideS, 8 p.m., $8

The best way to fight hypothermia—apart from, say, indoor heating—is to dance! Local synth-pop duo Herschel Roy is throwing the Cold Sugar winter dance party at Starlite Lounge for you to heat up your shivering bones. Herschel Roy will bring back all those nostalgic ’80s beats and feelings, so you can cut a rug to the upbeat, bitsynTH-pop tersweet electro-pop sounds à la Erasure, Depeche Mode and just a wee bit of Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Petaluma, the other band on the bill, pulls from similar influences, but more on the darker, ambient, why-did-you-put-me-on-earth-god side of the spectrum. 1517 21st Street, www.facebook.com/herschelroymusic.

2004 Sammie-award winning vocalist Larisa Bryski is something of a vocal chameleon and a powerful one at that, a little bit reminiscent of Carrie Underwood swerving more firmly into rock territory. It’s been a minute since her debut album, The pop RoCK Long Way, came out in 2000, so here’s to hoping something new is on its way. Local-scene diehards will be pleased to know that homegrown talent will be filling out the rest of the bill by way of bassist Emma Simpson, returning after a spin at Berklee College of Music, and staple The Brodys. 1901 10th Street, www.larisabryski.com.

—deena drewiS

—aaron carneS

SN&R’s

best of the best issue on stands 12/29

38 | SN&R | 12.15.16

“WoMEn CAn SELL vAGInA. A WoMAn IS noT GoInG To BUy DICK.”

16 FRI

17 SAT

22 T HU

Rock for Tots 12

Defecrator

Charlie Hunter Quartet

Lil Debbie

Blue lamp, 8:30 p.m., $10

on the Y, 8:30 p.m., $5

For more than a decade, the annual Rock for Tots event has been taking a page from the North Pole as far as rounding up toys for the Sacramento Salvation Army goes. This year, bands like the Scratch Outs, Ghost Town Rebellion (pictured), Jacob Paul and the Heartbeat, the Moans and more will rock the halls to benefit the kids. Attendees can bring a new, unwrapped toy REGGAE in exchange for a raffle ticket to win prizes from local vendors like Spanish Fly Hair Garage, a date night at Red Rabbit, tattoos from American Graffiti, ice skating passes, skateboards from Blood Wizard and more. 1400 Alhambra Boulevard, www.facebook.com/thescratchouts.

haRlow’S ReStauRant & nightcluB, 10 p.m., $18-$20

Defecrator burns hot. I don’t mean with the mere heat of hellfire, as it is Sacramento’s most blasphemous band. While other black metal bands often BLACK METAL sound distant and cold, Defecrator’s bestial attack violates your personal space with intensity that reminds you that safety is merely an illusion. Made from members of the legendary Killgasm, Defecrator puts on an extremely professional and extremely aggressive live show. The band recently released a 7” called Satanic Matyrdom, and this show celebrates the slab’s infernal release. 670 Fulton Avenue, https://defecrator.bandcamp.com.

Charlie Hunter is known for his prowess on the seven- and eight-string guitar. It’s pretty amazing to see him kick out both bass lines and guitar melodies simultaneously. His music is a kind of bluesy funk-jazz with some Latin infusion and plenty of improvisation. Currently touring as the Charlie Hunter Quartet, his bandmates Bobby Previte (drums), Kirk Knuffke (cornet), and Curtis Fowlkes (trombone) complement Hunter’s expertise with their own talents, JAzz creating a frolicking jaunt out of some serious jazz. The outcome is highly enjoyable music that is a delight to the ear. 2708 J Street, www.charliehunter.com.

—anthonY Siino

—amY Bee

—Steph RodRiguez

Blue lamp, 8:30 p.m., $16 Remember Lil Debbie? She’s perhaps best known for being obnoxious in the viral “Gucci Gucci” video alongside Kreayshawn, who, together, make up two-thirds of the now-defunct White Girl Mob. But they’re not cool anymore, so, whatever. She also has serious beef with Miley Cyrus and RAp thinks the pop star stole her “ratchet” persona. Earlier this summer, the Bay Area native dropped her debut full-length, Debbie, and it feels like a step toward adulthood while also teeming with girl power. As she told VICE this year, “Women can sell vagina. A woman is not going to buy dick.” Yup. Power. 1400 Alhambra Boulevard, http://lildebbie.net.

—Janelle BitkeR

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thURSdaY 12/15 BADLANDS

#turnup Thursday, 9pm, no cover

2003 K St., (916) 448-8790

List your event! post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo, and a link to your website. Go to www.newsreview.com/calendar and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

Hey local bands! Want to be a hot show? Mail photos to: calendar editor, Sn&R 1124 del Paso blvd., Sacramento, ca 95815 or email it to sactocalendar@newsreview.com. be sure to include date, time, location and cost of upcoming shows.

fRidaY 12/16

BAr 101

DYLAN CRAWFORD, call for time and cover

101 Main St., RoSeville; (916) 774-0505

BLue LAmp

Rock for tots, 8:30pm, $10

1400 alhaMbRa, (916) 455-3400

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Spectacular Saturdays, 10pm, call for cover

Sunday Tea Dance and Beer Bust, 4pm, call for cover

Big Mondays happy hour all night, M; Karaoke, Tu; Trapicana W Trivia, 6:30pm M; Open mic, 7:30pm W, no cover

CHAD WILKINS, call for time and cover

The spotlight, 9pm M, call for cover; THE WORLD OVER, W, call for time and cover

HUSALAH, 8pm, call for cover

The BoArDwALk

9426 gReenbacK ln., oRangebale (916) 988-9247

ANIMALS AS LEADERS, 7pm, $22

HAIL THE SUN, 6:30pm, $15

THE NEW UPS, MICHAEL AND THE MACHINES; call for time, $8

BRANDY ROBINSON BAND, call for time, $7

DIGITOUR WINTER, 5:30pm, $25

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314 Main St., gRaSS valleY; (530) 274-8384

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Donut & beer pairing, 12pm, call for cover

235 coMMeRcial St., nevada citY; (530) 265-0116 call for time, $7 2007 taYloR Rd., looMiS; (916) 652-4007

DISTrIcT 30

1016 K St., (916) 737-5770

fAceS

2000 K St., (916) 448-7798

Everything happens dancing and karaoke, 9pm, call for cover

Absolute Fridays dance party, 9pm, $5-$10

Party Time with Sequin Saturdays drag show, 9:30pm, $5-$12

foX & GooSe

THE MIKE JUSTIS BAND, 8pm, no cover

BOBBY DICKSON’S UNCHAINED AND THE STONECREEK PLAYERS, 9pm, $5

MASSIVE DELICIOUS, 9pm, $5

1001 R St., (916) 443-8825

EDM & karaoke, 9pm M, no cover; Latin night, 9pm Tu, no cover

Sunday Mass, 2pm, no cover

open mic, 7:30pm M, no cover; Pub quiz, 7pm Tu, no cover;

GoLDfIeLD TrADING poST

Songs and spirits, 7pm W, no cover

1603 j St., (916) 476-5076

GrAcIANo’S SpeAkeASy hALfTIme BAr & GrILL

GROOVE THANG, 9pm, $5

MIDNIGHT PLAYERS, 9pm, $7

CAM’RON, 9pm, $25-$30

JOY & MADNESS, DIRTY REVIVAL; 10pm, $10-$15

TODD MORGAN & THE EMBLEMS, 6pm, $8-$10; CHARLIE HUNTER, 10pm, $18-$20

80s new wave/post punk, 10pm, no cover

WELL DRESSED MANNEQUINS/ Movement, 10pm, no cover

Top 40 dance, 10pm, no cover

5681 lonetRee blvd., RocKlin; (916) 626-6366

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2708 j St., (916) 441-4693

Jazz jam with Reggie Graham, 5pm, no cover

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2708 J Street Sacramento, CA 916.441.4693 www.harlows.com 12/17 9:30PM $18ADV

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40 | SN&R | 12.15.16

SOUL 4 THE SEASON

COMING SOON 12/23 The Funky 16s 12/30 Daisy Spot NYE- Mustache Harbor 01/6 Two Step (Dave Matthews tribute) 01/07 Irishpalooza 01/09 Midge Ure 01/11 Nef the Pharaoh 01/13 Purple Ones (Prince Tribute) 01/14 Fleetwood Mask 01/15 Dorothy 01/16 A Boogie wit da Hoodie 01/17 Stick Men 01/19 Led Kaapana 01/20 Lucid 01/20 Wonderbread 5 01/21 Sizzling Sirens 01/22 Metalachi 01/25 Giant Panda Guerilla Dub Squad 01/26 Mac Sabbath 01/27-28 Tainted Love

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ROYAL SUNS, THE CROISSANTS, DESTROY BOYS; 8:30pm, $5

MATTHEW JAMES, THIEVES THESE DAYS; 8:30pm, $5

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LARISA BRYSKI, THE BRODYS; 8pm, $8

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COCO MONTOYA, 3pm, $10

Top 40 with DJ Larry, 9pm, no cover before 10pm

Sunday night dance party, 9pm, call for cover

ZORELLI, 9pm, no cover

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the press club

ATOM AGE, URBAN WOLVES, BLACK CROSSES; 8pm, $8

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COLD SUGAR, HERSCHEL ROY; 8pm, $10 TIGERCHRIST, SAGES; 8pm, $5-$10

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10pm Sunday, $25-$32 Harlow’s Reggae

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I’m a new employee at a nonprofit where the executive director earns about three times what most employees earn. Yesterday an envelope began circulating with a note asking each employee to give $5-$10 toward a holiday gift for the boss. A sheet was stapled to the envelope so we could check our names off! I’m a single parent and can’t afford to contribute. But I don’t want to leave my name unchecked. Ideas? Ah, the holidays! The people who circulate these requests probably have no idea what chaos they cause. Consider this: It’s possible that the list of names is attached to ensure that the envelope is passed to everyone. So when the envelope hits your desk, check your name off. The specified dollar amount is a suggestion. (Trust me on this.) Can you spare one dollar or two? If so, that’s enough. If not, drop some coins in. As you slide that cash into the envelope, relax into the awareness that you are giving what you can. If there’s an anonymous suggestion box in your office, slide a note in requesting a review of mandatory contribution solicitations. (Hey, isn’t mandatory contribution an oxymoron?)

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One of my co-workers recently separated from his wife. I’ve always been attracted to him and we’ve had great conversations over lunch with others in the office. A group of my friends—none of whom I work with—are having a holiday party. I’d like to invite my co-worker as my date. I mentioned this to a friend who cautioned me against it, saying that my co-worker’s separation is too recent. She also said I should wait until he’s divorced. What say you, Joey? Some people initiate workplace dating because they love the adrenaline rush of keeping a secret from co-workers. It’s exciting meeting in a conference room for a kiss or sending each other saucy text messages during staff meetings. Breakups can be nasty, though, and may even sideline your career. So be sure to check your company’s rules about workplace dating so you’re informed in advance. If everything is cool, ask your co-worker to join you for the holiday party. After a month or two of dating you can assess the connection and decide whether to tell your boss or the human resources person. In the meantime, no flirting at work, please. It tends to make other people uncomfortable enough to complain and that makes management unhappy. Ω

Can you spare one dollar or two? If so, that’s enough.

Ann, CMT

*this is a model

Sacramento 95823

@AskJoeyGarcia

I’ve been dating a beautiful (inside and out) woman for nearly a year. I can see spending the rest of my life with her and want to propose at Christmas. One thing holds me back: children. She is divorced and has full custody of her three children. They are wonderful kids but I’ve always wanted children of my own. My girlfriend does not want any more children. She told me this when we first met but I really didn’t take it seriously. Now what? Now you realize that your girlfriend knows her mind and speaks the truth. She is clear about what is right for her and sets boundaries accordingly. Since she does not want to adjust her lifestyle, are you willing to embrace her children as yours? Think of it as a way for you to explore becoming as beautiful inside and out as she is.

MedITATION Of The Week “The secret of health, for both mind and body, is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly,” Buddha said. How do you transform the world?

Write, email or leave a message for Joey at the News & Review. Give your name, telephone number (for verification purposes only) and question—all correspondence will be kept strictly confidential. Write Joey, 1124 Del Paso Boulevard, Sacramento, CA 95815; call (916) 498-1234, ext. 1360; or email askjoey@newsreview.com.

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I heard you were a judge at the Emerald Cup this past weekend. How was it? —Vic Arias I did indeed go to the Emerald Cup. But since I am writing this before I went, I can’t really tell you how it was, although I imagine that Damian Marley was fantastic, and that it was good to see all my farmer homies. I can tell you that I was selected to be a judge of cannabis flowers for the second year in a row, and the experience was difficult yet sublime. There were over 650 strains of cannabis to judge over a three-week window leading up to the cup. There are about 20 judges, and every judge is either a fantastic grower or a club owner or known to be a chronnissuer from way back. It took me three years of standing outside the temple and low-key lobbying to finally be invited to the judge’s table. And apparently, I was fast-tracked. Go figure. I must be living right. We met twice a week in Laytonville; it’s a three hour drive from Sacramento each way—dedication is important—to go over scores and pick up new entries. Entries were judged on looks, smell, flavor and effects. The first three categories are worth 1-10 points each, and effects is worth as many as 20 points, because what good is a great-looking, fantastic-smelling, tasty bud if it doesn’t get you stoned? There were some ugly buds that tasted great, some All of these cups pretty buds that didn’t do much to create and festivals are a head change, and about 50 strains that great for cannabis. had it all. We had three days to smoke all 50 (and, really, there were about 70 that made it to the final round, because judges were lobbying for certain flavors that other judges may have overlooked). I was a huge fan of entry No. 176, a very chocolatey, subtly smooth, very pleasantly stony weed that went great with coffee and good company. It almost got cut from the finals, but I managed to talk it back into to the group and it finished in the top 20. I felt extremely proud, for some reason. Anyway, the top two strains were definitely head and shoulders above the others: The champion, entry No. 262, was a Skittlez strain grown in Southern Humboldt, and second-place finisher, No. 101, was a delicious Blue Dream variant (known as Purple Candy Cane) that was grown just outside of Willits. Good to see Northern California folks repping the quality outdoor, er, sungrown, cannabis. I am sure the list of winners will be posted on the Emerald Cup’s website (www.theemeraldcup.com) by the time you read this column. All of these cups and festivals are great for cannabis in general, and excellent for cities bold enough to get aboard the cannabis train. Thirty-thousand people having a party at the Santa Rosa Fairgrounds in the middle of Winter? That’s a win-win for all the hotels, restaurants, head shops and hydro stores in the area. Cannabis is good for business. Ω

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or all of the marvelous therapeutic benefits of medical cannabis, many of the standard methods of delivering the medicine to the body revolve around fairly unhealthy activities. Cannabis smoke can negatively affect your respiratory system, while sugary candies and cookies are hardly part of a healthy diet. this can make medical cannabis something of a double-edged sword for vulnerable patients. Meanwhile, the California-based company organix herbal supplements focuses their products entirely around the concepts of health and healing, infusing a blend of healing herbs with cannabis in order to intensify rather than dull the plant’s therapeutic effects. It may seem like a new concept, but organix has been operating since 2005, and they advertise themselves as providers of the country’s “oldest cannabis infused supplements.” organix offers a number of different blends, including Regular strength, Full strength, Maximum strength, Day time,

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FRee will aStRology

by Janelle Bitker

by rOB Brezsny

FOR THE wEEk OF DECEMBER 15, 2016 ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Living is a form of not

being sure, not knowing what next or how,” said dancer Agnes De Mille. “We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.” As true as her words might be for most of us much of the time, I suspect they don’t apply to you right now. This is one of those rare moments when feeling total certainty is justified. Your vision is extra clear and farseeing. Your good humor and expansive spirit will ensure that you stay humble. As you take leap after leap, you’ll be surrounded by light.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “We are torn

between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange,” wrote author Carson McCullers. Are you ready to give that adage a twist, Taurus? In the coming weeks, I think you should search for foreign and strange qualities in your familiar world. Such a quest may initially feel odd, but will ultimately be healthy and interesting. It will also be good preparation for the next chapter of your life, when you will saunter out into unknown territory and find ways to feel at home there.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “If you don’t use your

own imagination, somebody else is going to use it for you,” said writer Ronald Sukenick. That’s always true, but it will be especially important for you to keep in mind in 2017. You Geminis will have an unparalleled power to enlarge, refine and tap into your imagination. You’ll be blessed with the motivation and ingenuity to make it work for you in new ways, which could enable you to accomplish marvelous feats of creativity and self-transformation. Now here’s a warning: If you don’t use your willower to take advantage of these potentials, your imagination will be subject to atrophy and colonization.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Why are Australian

sand wasps so skilled at finding their way back home after being out all day? Here’s their trick: When they first leave the nest each morning, they fly backward, imprinting on their memory banks the sights they will look for when they return later. Furthermore, their exiting flight path is a slow and systematic zigzag pattern that orients them from multiple directions. I recommend that you draw inspiration from the sand wasps in 2017, Cancerian. One of your important tasks will be to keep finding your way back to your spiritual home, over and over again.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Vault 21, a restaurant in

Dunedin, New Zealand, serves sautéed locusts. For $5, patrons receive a plate of five. The menu refers to the dish not as “Oily Sizzling Grasshoppers,” but rather as “Sky Prawns.” Satisfied customers know exactly what they’re eating, and some say the taste does indeed resemble prawns. I bring this to your attention, Leo, because it illustrates a talent you will have in abundance during 2017: rebranding. You’ll know how to maximize the attractiveness and desirability of things by presenting them in the best possible light.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The literal translation

of the German word kummerspeck is “grief bacon.” It refers to the weight gained by people who, while wallowing in self-pity, eat an excess of comfort food. I know more than a few Virgos who have been flirting with this development lately, although the trigger seems to be self-doubt as much as self-pity. In any case, here’s the good news: The trend is about to flip. A flow of agreeable adventures is due to begin soon. You’ll be prodded by fun challenges and provocative stimuli that will boost your confidence and discourage kummerspeck.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Since you are like no

other being ever created since the beginning of time, you are incomparable,” wrote journalist Brenda Ueland. Pause for a moment and fully take in that fact, Libra. It’s breathtaking and daunting. What a huge responsibility it is to be absolutely unique. In fact, it’s so monumental that you may still be shy about living up to it. But how about if you make 2017 the year you finally come into your own as the awesomely unprecedented creature that you are? I dare you to more fully acknowledge and express your singular destiny. Start today!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “To dream … to

dream has been the business of my life,” wrote author Edgar Allan Poe. I don’t expect you to match his devotion to dreams in 2017, Scorpio, but I do hope you will become more deeply engaged with your waking fantasies and the stories that unfold as you lie sleeping. Why? Because your usual approaches to gathering useful information won’t be sufficient. To be successful, both in the spiritual and worldly senses, you’ll need extra access to perspectives that come from beyond your rational mind. Here’s a good motto for you in 2017: “I am a lavish and practical dreamer.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Physicist

Stephen Hawking is skeptical of the hypothesis that humans may someday be able to travel through time. To jokingly dramatize his belief, he threw a party for time travelers from the future. Sadly, not a single chrononaut showed up to enjoy the champagne and hors d’oeuvres Hawking had prepared. Despite this discouraging evidence, I guarantee that you will have the potential to meet with Future Versions of You on a regular basis during the next nine months. These encounters are likely to be metaphorical or dreamlike rather than literal, but they will provide valuable information as you make decisions that affect your destiny for years to come. The first of these heart-to-hearts should come very soon.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): During these

last few weeks, you may have sometimes felt like smashing holes in the wall with your head, or dragging precious keepsakes into the middle of the street and setting them on fire, or delivering boxes full of garbage to people who don’t appreciate you as much as they should. I hope you abstained from doing things like that. Now here are some prescriptions to help you graduate from unproductive impulses: Make or find a symbol of one of your mental blocks, and bash it to pieces with a hammer; clean and polish precious keepsakes, and perform rituals to reinvigorate your love for them; take as many trips to the dump as necessary to remove the congestion, dross and rot from your environment.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Singer-songwriter Tom Waits has a distinctive voice. One fan described it this way: “Like how you’d sound if you drank a quart of bourbon, smoked a pack of cigarettes and swallowed a pack of razor blades. Late at night. After not sleeping for three days.” Luckily, Waits doesn’t have to actually do any of those self-destructive things to achieve his unique tone. In fact, he’s wealthy from selling his music, and has three kids with a woman to whom he’s been married for 36 years. I foresee a similar potential for you in the coming weeks and months. You may be able to capitalize on your harmless weirdness … to earn rewards by expressing your charming eccentricities … to be both strange and popular.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Was punk rock born

on June 4, 1976? A fledgling band known as the Sex Pistols played that night for a crowd of 40 people at a small venue in Manchester, England. Among the audience members was Morrissey, who got so inspired that he started his own band, the Smiths. Also in attendance was a rowdy guy who would soon launch the band Joy Division, despite the fact that he had never played an instrument. The men who would later form the Buzzcocks also saw the performance by Johnny Rotten and his crew. According to music critic David Nolan, these future pioneers came away from the June 4 show with the conclusion, “You don’t have to be a virtuoso or a musical genius to be in a band; anyone can do it.” I see parallels between this seminal event and your life in the coming weeks.

You can call Rob Brezsny for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. Must be 18+. Touchtone phone required. Customer service (612) 373-9785. And don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at www.realastrology.com.

Take a stab Roughly three-and-a-half years ago, the Sacramento Comedy Spot hosted one of its 48-hour comedy marathons. To fill time, comics John Ross and Jesse Jones came up with STAB!, a comedy panel show and podcast. As host, Ross issues local comedians—including the alwayspresent Jones—absurd writing prompts to then perform in front of a live audience. In honor of its upcoming 100th episode, SN&R talked to the STAB! comedy scientists about character voices, cheese shivers and the future of comedy consumption.

Take me through STAB!’s evolution. Ross: We were like, “Hey, let’s call it Fire because it’ll make a cool poster,” and the idea of it being a rapid-fire show. And then Comedy Central immediately copied us—no, I’m kidding. They had a show called The Burn with Jeff Ross and ours would have been Fire with John Ross. Jones: We sat down like, “We want a single-syllable active verb.” Ross: So we came up with STAB!, which also fits in the most cliché way possible, which is everyone takes a stab at the same prompt. Jones: Everyone’s different voice interpreting the same thing. Ross: Like the Bible. We should call it The Bible.

Has anyone totally bombed? Ross: We have a blacklist—we will never reveal the names—of people we will never let back on the show. It’s a writer’s show and if people don’t prepare … or you just plain suck at the show—but even that, we’ve given second or third chances to people we like. So many people want to do it. I always get this comment: “I love doing this show because it takes me out of my set.” It’s a creative expression that they really never get to express. It’s just a different format. Jones: That was a big draw for me because I’m not a stand-up. I do improv, sketch, other comedy writing. I don’t really interact in the stand-up world and this show is a way for people from all areas of comedy to come together.

John, how do you come up with prompts? Ross: There is a rhyme or reason but I don’t know how to quantify it. … I’ll just turn on the TV or the radio—what does that first word I hear make me think? I used to get prompts from a sign language dictionary, where I’d just flip through it and be like, “OK: cheese, shiver. How can I apply that to a prompt?”

John Ross (left) and Jesse Jones: the faces behind the podcast. PHOTO BY EVAN DURAN

Jesse gets some real crazy ones. Ross: I know what’s gonna fuck him. I might be like, “OK, write the online dating profile from the perspective of a piece of quiche.” Like, good luck, motherfucker. And I have that relationship with a lot of the comics. I’ve been part of the stand-up scene for about 12 years here. I know people. I know this person can write this way so I know the prompt that can push them.

Jesse, do you have a finite number of voices? Jones: I don’t think I have that many that are actually that good. I’ve got like two shades of British, one is sort of foppish and one’s catch-all. I’ve got some Southerners. I was told at an improv show by Mark S. Allen—oh, look at that name drop!—during a scene that my default, sort of Southern-y red neck-y voice … sounded just like his brother from Texas.

Any idea how big your audience is? Jones: No idea. Stitcher and iTunes don’t really give you any sort of numbers. I listen to the show at the gym because I feel like somebody should listen to the show. The podcast world is so deep, it’s hard to rise above the din.

show. The best is the live show. If we could do this as a live show all the time and put cameras there—that’s the new focus after the 100th episode.

In the future, will all comedy be consumed via video stream or podcast? Ross: Fuck, man, I sure hope not. Maybe I’m in denial, but there’s nothing like going to the live show. … You know those YouTube clips? You know where comics get their energy from? From the live crowd that paid to see them.

That’d be hard on the ego, right? Ross: Yeah, for sure. What other than your ego drives the need to get in front of people and say stuff? Ego isn’t totally bad as long as you keep it in check. I enjoy watching comics that know what they’re doing. I want my doctor to have an ego. (Laughs.) Jones: I still think there’s never going to be a period when people aren’t going to want to get together in a room and see something. Ross: I don’t know, man, I think people are already doing it. Maybe VR. Jones: Gotta get ahead of it. We’re gonna open a virtual reality comedy club. Ω

Goals for next year? Ross: We would like to break out and do TV. We’ve already done some episodes at Davis Public Access, cut three or four episodes, put them on YouTube. For us, that’s the next step. We like doing the live

Check out STAB! record its 100th episode at 11 p.m. Friday, December 16, at the Sacramento Comedy Spot, 1050 20th Street. Tickets are $5. More at www.facebook.com/STABshow.

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