S 2016 01 14

SACRAMENTO’S NEWS & ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

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VOLUME 27, ISSUE 39

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THURSDAY, JANUARY 14, 2016

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EDITOR’S NOTE

JANUARY 14, 2016 | VOL. 27, ISSUE 39

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13 Our Mission: To publish great newspapers that are successful and enduring. To create a quality work environment that encourages employees to grow professionally while respecting personal welfare. To have a positive impact on our communities and make them better places to live.

Co-editors Rachel Leibrock, Nick Miller Staff Writers Janelle Bitker, Raheem F. Hosseini Assistant Editor Anthony Siino Editorial Coordinator Becca Costello Editor-at-large Melinda Welsh Contributors Dainel Barnes, Ngaio Bealum, Alastair Bland, Rob Brezsny, Jim Carnes, Deena Drewis, Joey Garcia, Cosmo Garvin, Blake Gillespie, Lovelle Harris, Jeff Hudson, Jim Lane, Garrett McCord, Kel Munger, Kate Paloy, Patti Roberts, Ann Martin Rolke, Shoka Design Services Manager Anne Lesemann Art Director Hayley Doshay

Associate Art Director Brian Breneman Production Coordinator Skyler Smith Designer Kyle Shine Marketing/Publications Design Manager Serene Lusano Marketing/Publications Designer Sarah Hansel Contributing Photographers Lisa Baetz, Evan Duran, Wes Davis, Luke Fitz, Taras Garcia, Michael Miller, Bobby Mull, Shoka, Darin Smith, Lauran Worthy Director of Sales and Advertising Corey Gerhard Senior Advertising Consultants Rosemarie Messina, Olla Swanson, Joy Webber, Kelsi White Advertising Consultants Meghan Bingen, Angel De La O, Stephanie Johnson, Lee Roberts Sales Assistant Matt Kjar Director of First Impressions David Lindsay Distribution Director Greg Erwin Distribution Services Assistant Larry Schubert Distribution Drivers Mansour Aghdam, Daniel Bowen, Heather Brinkley, Mike Cleary, Jack Clifford, Lydia Comer, John Cunningham, Lob Dunnica, Chris Fong, Ron Forsberg, Garry Foster, Joanna Gonzalez-Brown, Greg Meyers, Kenneth Powell, Gilbert Quilatan, Lloyd Rongley, Lolu Sholotan, Jonathan Taea

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39 N&R Publications Editor Michelle Carl N&R Publications Managing Editor Shannon Springmeyer N&R Publications Writers Kate Gonzales, Anne Stokes Senior N&R Publications Consultant Dave Nettles N&R Publications Consultants Elena Ruiz, Julie Sherry President/CEO Jeff VonKaenel Director of Nuts & Bolts Deborah Redmond Human Resources Manager Melanie Topp Marketing/Promotions/Facilities Manager Will Niespodzinski Executive Coordinator Jessica Takehara Business Manager Nicole Jackson Accounts Receivable Specialist Kortnee Angel Sweetdeals Coordinator Courtney DeShields Nuts & Bolts Ninja Christina Wukmir Senior Support Tech Joe Kakacek Developer John Bisignano System Support Specialist Kalin Jenkins 1124 Del Paso Boulevard, Sacramento, CA 95815 Phone (916) 498-1234 Fax (916) 498-7910 Website www.newsreview.com

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Rebel rebel News of David Bowie’s death late Sunday night brought me to tears.

Real, sorrowful tears. My husband, too. He’d just purchased Bowie’s latest album, Blackstar, the night before—it was released Friday on the singer’s 69th birthday and I waited in the car as he hurried into a local record shop to buy its last copy.

Now, I was stunned and bereft.

David Bowie had always seemed otherworldly, alien and immortal—above death, really.

And yet: an 18-month battle with cancer.

I initially hesitated to use this space to write about his death. There are more “important” things—social injustices, politics, etc.

But art is important, of course.

And Bowie’s encompassed so much of the human spirit and condition.

Throughout his decades-long career, the singer pushed at boundaries and challenged conventions. Gender and sexuality. Imagination and commerce.

Creativity and aging.

Even in his 60s, Bowie stayed curious. In recent years he collaborated with the likes of Arcade Fire and found influence in talents such as Kendrick Lamar. Likewise, his new album was a collaboration with the Donny McCaslin Quartet, a jazz-rock combo.

Blackstar documents Bowie’s fight with cancer. The songs are reflective, hauntingly prescient. “Look up here, I’m in heaven,” he sings on “Lazarus.”

Its accompanying video—gorgeous and moody—depicts a man who was visibly fragile, yet also very much alive with the spark of inspiration.

David Bowie was an artistic rebel who remained creative and vibrant until the end. Whatever one’s passions, may we all live such a life.

—RACHEL LEIBROCK r a c h e ll@ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m

SN&R is printed at Bay Area News Group on recycled newsprint.

Circulation of SN&R is verified by the Circulation Verification Council.

SN&R is a member of Sacramento Metro Chamber of Commerce, BBB, CNPA, AAN and AWN.

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“WE GOT MARRIED WHILE I WAS GOING THROUGH CHEMOTHERAPY.”

ASKED AT K AND 12TH STREETS:

Whom do you admire?

JENNIFER L A AM

LIZ SALMI

writer

Gene Roddenberry. What I admire about him is that he presented a future that was very optimistic and diverse.

He was able to use science fiction as metaphor for current events. … One of the most noble things an artist can do is to help influence and effect social change while creating a wonderful work people can enjoy.

communications director

My husband, Brett. I was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2008 ... and he suddenly became this amazing caregiver for me.

He does it in a way that isn’t overbearing or possessive. He took care of me through brain surgeries and chemotherapy. We got married while I was going through chemotherapy.

ZAC SMITH

CHERYL FR ASER

optician

My mom. I grew up in a single-mother household, so it was a tough childhood to say the least. She was working two jobs and she got us through schooling.

She got us through everything. I have always looked up to her. I am in the process of moving and she is texting me at 7 a.m., ready to help.

NICOLE HARMAN

MICHAEL ELLIS

parks director

truck driver

Maya Angelou. I named my daughter after her. Her poetry is wonderful.

I thought she was a wonderful speaker. Every time she had a challenge in life or something knocked her down, she was able to overcome. I admire her strength. She did the poem for President Clinton’s inauguration also.

property manager

A friend of mine by the name of Lance has taught me a way of life. He helped me learn to listen to people and he taught me a new way to take in information.

He helped me soak it in and process. It had to do with people skills, money and management and just life.

My husband, Sam. He is the backbone of our family and he has always worked hard to provide for us. He gets along with everybody; everybody loves him. He is the nicest man I have ever known. My husband is a thinker and a reactor. I feel safe with him. I like that my son has his personality.

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EMAIL LETTERS TO SACTOLETTERS@NEWSREVIEW.COM.

Homeless need safe ground Re “Welcome to the occupation” by Nick Miller (SN&R News, January 7): I keep hearing the authorities use the pretext of “we need to build more permanent housing for the homeless rather than allow them to stay outside” as a reason to deny the homeless the right to camp.

Permanent housing is great for that which can be built and delivered, but at the current time funding has not been allocated to build enough for everyone outside, and they need a place to sleep tonight. The city and county should establish several safe grounds with showers, toilets, water and WiFi so the homeless can have a safe and legal place to sleep. Don’t let the potential great be the enemy of the current good.

MICHAEL FABER E l k G ro v e

Real mayor’s race issues Re “Reinventing Angelique”

by Raheem F. Hosseini (SN&R Feature Story, January 7): Catching a recent radio interview of the candidate, I quickly sensed how disconnected

and removed she sounded from the immediate concerns and issues plaguing many of the stable residents in the central city. The thrust of the like-it-or-not arena project has imposed congestion, pollution and difficulty with parking just for simple errands

and shopping. The enhanced fleet of parking-enforcement vehicles and extended hours is a constant reminder of the new expenses and permanently increased costs of living here. Residents are priced out of reasonable housing options from inflated rents. Midtown is the bicycle theft capital of the country. Graffiti is so pervasive, acts in progress rarely enforced and costly to many businesses and residents. Every park either has a drinking fountain or bathroom out of order. Public transit basic fare is the most expensive in the state, the stations grimy, trash from years past lying in heaps. These are concerns that candidates should be stating, not waiting to be asked about.

Henry Garciga Sacramento

Refugee camp?

Re “Welcome to the occupation”

by Nick Miller (SN&R News, January 7):

Regarding the whole homeless flap: Do not blame the police; they just enforce the law. It is noted when assistance is offered, it is not helping the cause to refuse it. The obvious reason why the city would like this to all go away is that shiny new arena that hopefully will draw the folk from the burbs.

But not with city looking like a refugee camp.

Additionally, the increasingly morally corrupt state Legislature offering to use the “rich tax” to build low-income housing does not even qualify as a palliative.

Just where would such housing be built? Oops. Did not see that one coming. Maybe it will be built in outer Land Park, perhaps. But not Curtis Park—god forbid. More like the county, which due to poor leadership has become in many parts quite a dumping ground for people and their problems, but mainly their distressed furniture.

Andrew Mattson Roseville

Deeply wrong Re “Welcome to the occupation”

by Nick Miller (SN&R News, January 7): I saw a news story of Sacramento’s homeless being arrested for “illegal” camping or worse, getting their blankets or sleeping bags punitively confiscated. It broke my heart. Then I saw another story about homeless being arrested at City Hall for peacefully protesting the city’s “no camping ordinance.” It’s not like they’re trying to get away with free camping. They are literally freezing on the streets, wrapped in blankets, trying to survive. My heart broke a little more. Then, I saw news anchors act empathetic about creating a “legal” camping zone—but it’s freezing! Then, on to the next story about the new arena. I’m angry. How can we allow our fellow Americans to suffer so much? Something is deeply wrong.

Michael Stavros Sacramento

@SacNewsReview

Facebook.com/ SacNewsReview

@SacNewsReview

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Local bikers say they’re being improperly cited for violating California’s helmet law.

ILLUSTRATION BY BRIAN BRENEMAN

B.O.L.T. to the brain Local bikers sue Sacramento cops, CHP over helmet harassment

BY RAHEEM F. HOSSEINI

Mark Temple knew the drill: As the patrolman approached, he swung his leg over the dark maroon Harley Davidson, leaning on its kickstand in a parking stall of a McDonald’s in Fair Oaks.

Temple and California Highway Patrol Officer Robert Di Miceli were well acquainted prior to that March 2014 afternoon. According to court documents, Di Miceli had personally stopped and cited Temple at least three times for the same alleged grievance: riding his motorcycle without the proper headgear.

The biker wore what Di Miceli described in court documents as a modified baseball cap, coated with a plastic shell and chin-strapped to his face. The 8 | SN&R | 01.14.16

sort-of helmet sported a label from the Ill-Eagle Helmet Company of Oakland (say it out loud).

Because Temple hadn’t obeyed his prior commands to wear what he considered a legal helmet, court documents attest, Di Miceli placed him under arrest.

Almost two years later, biker and cop are fighting this battle on a larger stage, and with significantly more at stake.

Temple belongs to an unincorporated motorcyclist club called B.O.L.T., which stands for “Bikers Of Lesser Tolerance.”

To its members, B.O.L.T. is a civil-rights group that views helmet laws as a violation of bikers’ First Amendment rights, but still complies with them—barely. To

ra h e e mfh @ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m

law enforcement, B.O.L.T. is an anarchic organization made up of “constitutionalists” (a code word usually associated with white anti-government types) that brazenly flouts motorcycle helmet requirements.

Temple and 11 other B.O.L.T. members have sued the CHP, Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department, Rancho Cordova Police Department and their respective municipalities in federal court. The plaintiffs and their attorneys are requesting restraining orders and an unspecified amount in monetary damages. The cops-slash-defendants want the lawsuit dismissed with prejudice.

The case is the most recent salvo in the ongoing feud between an outlaw biker culture that bristles at efforts to tame it, and an establishment that values safety over fashion.

“You’ve got the two extremes,” said James Hernandez, a Sacramento State criminal-justice professor who often testifies for defense attorneys as a gang expert.

“Law enforcement is all about conforming.

Bikers are about a total rejection of conformity. They give each other purpose.”

In their complaint, plaintiff attorneys allege that Rancho Cordova police improperly cited their 12 clients for wearing inadequate helmet protection while riding in and around the city. (Per an agreement, the sheriff’s department provides police services in Rancho Cordova.)

The conflict basically comes down to a question of profiling.

Plaintiff attorney Gary Gorski says officers were using the helmet law as a cover to stop and harass his clients, one of whom includes a member of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Club. “It’s the oldest trick in the book,” he said. “They use

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GREEN, BACK those minor traffic infractions … to find something.”

B.O.L.T. is claiming that the enforcement is unconstitutional, and is seeking an unspecified amount in damages. “We haven’t made any demands yet,” Gorski said, adding that his clients are mostly interested in recouping their own court expenses.

After his arrest, Temple faced nine separate counts—three misdemeanors and six infractions—that resulted in a short trial in November 2014. Temple was acquitted on eight counts, and the last one was dismissed.

Temple had also been ticketed twice by a Rancho Cordova police officer, while he and his co-plaintiffs have appeared numerous times in traffic court.

In the cases that he’s reviewed, Hernandez says it’s not uncommon for law enforcement to target bikers for small things, like helmet or turn-signal violations.

Biker clubs originated after World War II, established by returning combat veterans who couldn’t quite put the pieces of their old lives together in any way that made sense, he says. “The clubs kind of gave some guys a place to go and someone to be,” he explained. “It’s an identity.”

There was a similar boom following the Vietnam War, but not so much after the lengthy campaigns in Iraq and Afghanistan.

As a result, the bikers are graying. But that doesn’t mean they’ve mellowed.

Last May, a large summit erupted into a wild shootout between bikers and police at a diner in Waco, Texas. Authorities arrested 177 members of the Bandidos and the Cossacks, according to media reports.

In 2011, a high-ranking member of the Hells Angels was killed during a fatal shootout inside of a casino in Reno, Nev. “They do get into a lot of trouble. They do cause a lot of problems,” Hernandez said. “It’s a hard life. You’re not drafted into it. You choose it.”

According to online court documents, Temple pleaded guilty to one misdemeanor count of driving under the influence in 1989. Co-plaintiffs John Robert Dalke and Glenn Osborn did the same in 1996 and 2014, respectively. In 1998, co-plaintiff Lyle Duvauchelle pleaded no contest to one misdemeanor count of battery, though he’s had charges dismissed in three other cases, online court records show.

B.O.L.T. advocates for the repeal of helmet-safety laws on the grounds that they infringe on personal freedom, but its members say they nevertheless comply with the law. Gorski describes it as a civil-rights organization with a bad rap from law enforcement. “They make it sound like B.O.L.T. is a big biker gang,” he said.

Both the National Coalition of provide department personnel, including Motorcyclists and Confederation of Clubs those assigned to Rancho Cordova, with have taken on helmet laws, as well as gangmore guidance on how to enforce the state’s validation policies. mandatory helmet law.

Hernandez hadn’t heard of B.O.L.T. Jones’ declaration doesn’t admit before. Neither had Pacific McGeorge wrongdoing on the part of the department.

School of Law professor Michael Vitiello.

But the motion does indicate that if officers But Vitiello was familiar with the were improperly citing and arresting the “constitutionalist” label assigned to some plaintiffs, that practice would stop under the of its members, which refers to a wing amended policy. (Or, in the parlance of the of the militia movement that’s composed motion, “voluntary cessation of purported largely of veterans, libertarians and Second illegal conduct can render the claim moot.”)

Amendment advocates, and has its own The amended sheriff’s policy essenreading of America’s foundational docutially spells out the interpretation that ment, according to Vitiello state courts have adopted when and a Wikipedia entry he it comes to enforcing the recommended. “They offer mandatory helmet law in pretty odd views of how California. State law to read the document,” says motorcyclists and “I never heard of Vitiello said. their passengers have anyone getting killed to wear helmets that by a motorcyclist riding It may be the first meet federal safety instance of someone standards. But it without a helmet.” finding inspiration in the puts the onus on the attorney Gary Gorski 2007 movie Wild Hogs. helmet manufacturers Plaintiffs’ 44-page to comply with those complaint cites the Tim standards.

Allen comedy and other more In Easyriders Freedom respectable biker movies—including F.I.G.H.T. v. Hannigan—a similar The Wild One, The Great Escape and Easy case where CHP officers were ticketing Rider—to make its case that man was not motorcyclists for wearing “nonconforming” meant to restrict his cabesa while riding an helmets—the Ninth Circuit ruled that the iron steed. Plaintiffs cap their skim through bikers had to know their helmets weren’t movie history with a surprisingly detailed in compliance with federal standards to description of an exchange in Wild Hogs. be arrested or cited. “In other words,” The movie earned an impressive the defense’s motion acknowledges, “the $168 million domestically despite a ticketing officer must have probable cause to 14 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes. believe” the motorcyclist had specific intent Specifically, plaintiffs recount an early to flout the law. scene where Allen’s character ridicules the Defense attorneys have responded to the William H. Macy character for wearing lawsuit by saying the new sheriff’s policy what he describes as a “leather condom.” renders the plaintiffs’ complaints moot.

Gorski explained the logic behind Attorneys filed a motion to dismiss the including movie synopses in a legal argucomplaint on the grounds that the plaintiffs ment. “The Supreme Court has always held no longer have any standing, because they’re that rights can be determined by long-stand- no longer being injured by the policy they’re ing traditions that permeate society” and are complaining about. Both sides are waiting reinforced by the Legislature, he said. for the judge to rule on the motion, which “The helmet law is a relatively new could happen at any time, Gorski says. A phenomena,” he continued. “It was the pretrial scheduling conference was reschedinsurance lobby that got the law passed.” uled from this month to April 25.

But that’s a sideshow to the main event, But Gorski says it’s enforcement which is about whether cops are breaking practices, not policies, that his clients are the law by repeatedly pulling over Gorski’s suing over. “So a written policy doesn’t clients. mean diddly,” he said. “It’s the enforcement A sheriff’s department spokesman techniques that are not being addressed.” declined to comment on the ongoing legal Long term, Gorski and his clients want matter, and its lawyers didn’t respond to an to overturn California’s helmet law, which emailed request for comment. But in a legal he says should be up to the rider. “I never declaration supporting the defense’s motion heard of anyone getting killed by a motorto dismiss, Sheriff Scott Jones wrote that he cyclist riding without a helmet,” he said. “I updated the department’s General Orders might kill myself [riding without one]. But I and Operations Orders this past August to can smoke cigarettes and kill myself.” Ω

International instability and wanton fracking are rewarding your wallet, if not your habitat.

Despite a half-cent raise to Sacramento’s retail gas prices last week, the industry-tracker GasBuddy is forecasting consumers will spend $17 billion less on car food this year compared to last.

As of January 11, a daily survey of 720 gas outlets in Sacramento put the average retail price at $2.58 per gallon, a half-cent over what it was the previous week. That figure was 10.4 cents per gallon higher than the same day one year ago and 13.1 cents per gallon higher than a month ago, a GasBuddy release states, but also on par with previous years, according to one of the company’s analysts.

While tensions between oil-rich Saudi Arabia and Iran would have jacked prices in the past, “the times have changed,” senior petroleum analyst Jeff Pelton said in the release. “[T]he incentive now is for the Saudis to pump away and keep Iran’s coffers as empty as they can.”

Meanwhile, GasBuddy’s 2016 Fuel Price Outlook predicted the national retail average would sag for the fourth straight year, to $2.28 a gallon, though cities like Los Angeles and San Francisco would remain higher on the bell curve. According to the forecast, a trend “that accelerated with fracking” put last year’s domestic crude oil inventory at its “highest level in 80 years.” (Raheem F. Hosseini)

THAT’S COOL Downtown property values are up. Downtown’s top 10 restaurants did about $50 million in sales last year. The Citizen Hotel sold for a whopping $60 million. These are things I learned at this past Tuesday’s State of Downtown breakfast, the annual before-noon elbow-rub at the Memorial Auditorium.

So, yes, lots of downtown-is-finally-hip talk, complete with an admittedly funny anecdote by Mayor Kevin Johnson about his former NBA teammates calling Sacramento one of the three lamest downtowns in the country back when he played for the Phoenix Suns. But now, “Sacramento is on track to be one of the coolest cities in America,” the mayor proclaimed.

Just hope there’s room for you in this new downtown: According to a study by Downtown Sacramento Partnership, which hosted the event, “nearly 1 in 2 millennials wants to live downtown when the arena opens.” (Nick Miller)

PRICE TO BE MAYOR Open up your wallet, K.J. wannabes. The city of Sacramento is charging mayoral aspirants $2,150 to place a 200-word candidate statement in the official sample ballots that voters will see prior to the June 7 primary.

The price is based on current registration figures and the Sacramento County Registrar of Voters Office’s estimate for covering the costs of translating, printing and mailing the ballots. In district-specific council races, the price ranges from $350 (districts 2 and 8) to $450 (District 4).

For mayoral candidates, it’s $10.75 per word, which might not seem like much to frontrunners Darrell Steinberg or Councilwoman Angelique Ashby. But neither activist Russell Rawlings nor bondsman Tony “the Tiger” Lopez, the other announced candidates, have reported any campaign contributions just yet. (RFH)

01.14.16 | SN&R | 9

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Larissa Meltz and Alex Larrabee sit around a conference table in a darkened office on L Street. It’s hard to believe this space will transform into Midtown’s newest craft brewery in a little under four months—if everything goes to plan. Engaged for over a year, Meltz and Larrabee need Big Stump Brewing Co. to open for sure by May 22 to host their wedding reception.

But launching a brewery on the grid has proven tougher than expected.

Meltz and Larrabee, who’ve dated for six years, decided New Year’s Day 2014 to open their brewery.

Living in San Francisco at the time, where Meltz worked for Gap’s corporate offices and Larrabee was an attorney who brewed on the side, they soon relocated to Sacramento’s central city.

Meltz, who grew up in El Dorado Hills, knew that the beer thing in San Francisco was competitive. “Sacramento, we were familiar with the town. I used to live in Midtown on the grid beforehand. So we decided it was a good move for us,” she explained.

Their architect, Craig Hausman, who designed New Helvetia Brewing Co. on Broadway and 12 Rounds Brewin Co. in East Sacramento and is working on the 14,000-square-foot restaurant and brewing facility for Burgers & Brew on J Street, walked Meltz and Larrabee through several Midtown locations—making sure they had sufficient power for brewing—before settling on vacant law offices at 1716 L Street. It’s the same building as Old Soul Co.’s coffee house and roastery.

The couple appeared before the planning commission in December, won a conditionaluse permit to build their brewery, and applied for a license to serve beer and wine to brewery patrons. They won’t operate a restaurant or sell cocktails, just a simple taproom.

But neighbor Tom Plumb quickly filed an appeal with city council, alleging violations of the California Environmental Quality Act. Plumb and his wife, Maria Reyes, live across Liestal Alley. Big Stump will have doors that open onto L Street but shares a bathroom with Old Soul, which opens onto the alley.

“To say this is not an alley-oriented business, great,” Plumb told SN&R on December 29. “But it’s an alley-impacting business.”

Plumb agreed to drop his appeal after a meeting on December 30 with Meltz and Larrabee, however, mediated by Angela Tillotson of the Midtown Neighborhood Association.

“We all believe things can be worked out through respectful, healthy dialogue,” Tillotson told SN&R. The brewery owners agreed to several conditions in writing with Plumb, including promising to post signs urging customers to respect neighbors. They also agreed to scale back hours on Friday and Saturday nights. “It’s a sacrifice we had to give up, but it’s also important for the wellness of the community,” Meltz said. While she said that, Larrabee added, “You’ve got to be good neighbors.”

Protests of alcohol establishments are common in Midtown. But now comes the biggest challenge for Meltz and Larrabee: getting doors open. They’d like to follow the route of their biggest role model for local breweries, nearby Rubicon Brewing Co., and open a second production facility in West Sacramento, but that’s at least three years off. For now, Meltz and Larrabee say they’re excited to be part of the redevelopment on the grid.

Larrabee told SN&R, “I really do believe we represent a good model for new, innovative businesses that are wanting to come into downtown.” Ω

Launching a brewery on the grid has proven tougher than expected.

Second month of City Hall homeless protest propels issue to front pages

BY NICK MILLER

n i ck am @ n ew s re v i e w . c o m

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When homeless activists started the occupation of City Hall grounds on December 8, there wasn’t much action in the local media. But this past Monday night, the 35th day of this homeless campout in the shadow of the city’s headquarters, nearly every television station in town was parked on Ninth Street. Cameras rolled at 5 p.m. as protesters elevated signs and shouted “We demand / a right to rest.” And, online, videos allegedly from hacker group Anonymous trickled on to YouTube.

It’s been a long five weeks for the homeless occupiers. On New Year’s Day, the city manager’s office sent some 50 police officers, many sporting riot gear helmets and masks, into the camp just before midnight, which led to seven citations, including four arrests.

Subsequent police actions eased up on the show of force.

Yet enforcement persists; 12 arrests in total this year, plus at least five citations for illegal camping. The first court date for protesters is next week, January 21.

This past Saturday morning, January 9, police confiscated all the tables, blankets, sleeping bags, tarps and tents at the occupation. Activists used these items for serving food and keeping warm, but the city considers such “paraphernalia” illegal under its anti-camping ordinance. The protest leaders, James Clark and David Andre, were arrested for the second time this past Saturday morning.

Yet Clark and Andre were back at it again this past Monday, vowing to remain at City Hall indefinitely.

Meanwhile, Mayor Kevin Johnson created a task force to explore homelessness solutions, including a possible “safe ground” camp. Council members Jeff Harris, Steven Hansen and Jay Schenirer were appointed.

Activist Clark says a short-term goal is to get homeless people on the task force. “It’s essential to get our voices heard,” Clark told SN&R. “It won’t be effective without [them], and it will end up being another ‘task farce.’”

Also during the past three weeks, videos from a group claiming to be part of Anonymous showed up on YouTube. The videos urge the city to leave homeless people alone and put a moratorium on enforcement of the anti-camping ordinance.

A Twitter profile affiliated with the group, @OpRight2Rest, also posted what they claim are hacked documents with the private home addresses and phone numbers of the mayor and council members.

In the coming month, council members plan to visit Seattle to learn more about how that city deals with its homelessness challenges. Ω

want free stuff?

Anonymous no more

Shopaholics “I like my money right were I can see it....

Hanging in my closet,” Dory Kramer of The Clothing Hang-up Boutique quoted fellow shopaholic Carrie Bradshaw of Sex & the City, reminding us that there’s nothing wrong with little indulgences. Treating oneself can be even more rewarding when supporting local businesses and Vanessa Lopez of Heart Boutique agrees: “I am not a shopaholic. I am helping the economy.” But

when over-shopping leads to packed closets, there’s always a quick stop to Freestyle Clothing Exchange. Kayla Landrum of Freestyle tells us “FreeStyle Clothing Exchange is a buy-sell-trade clothing store that rewards you for shopping! When your closet is overflowing, but you still want to shop, make room by bringing your clothes and accessories to any FreeStyle location and we’ll give you cash or trade on the spot!”

Heart Clothing Boutique 1903 Capitol Ave, Sacramento 95814 916-441-1359

Freestyle Clothing Exchange www.freestyleclothing.com Citrus Heights – Midtown – Folsom – Roseville Nine West Black Boots $22 Cole Haan Shoulder Purse $44 H&M Striped Shirt $11 Miss London Denim Jacket $18 Paige Black Jeans $45

Leto Beanie $15 Thread Supply Denim Button Up $42 Leto Poncho $39 Enjean Cargo Skinny Pant $39 Black Watch $34 Rhinestone Necklace $34 Sweet Level Shoulder Purse $39 City Classified Booties $38

The Clothing Hang-Up Boutique 1015 2nd Street, Sacramento 916-970-5943 Kensie Dress $15 Pink Duchess Booties $18 Tanzanite Heart Necklace $20

Nine West Beaded Heels $2 Kai Black Knit Skirt $16 Ann Taylor Black Silk Tank Top $16 Paris Express Denim Jacket $25

PAID ADVERTISEMENT 01.14.16 | SN&R | 11

NOIR NIGHTS FILM FESTIVAL @ CREST THEATRE On January 15th and 16th, the Crest Theatre will PLUS be hosting a Film Noir Festival. Things will kick off NO SERVIC E on Friday with the folks from Empress Tavern as FEES! they host a speakeasy soiree in the theater’s own Wide-Angle Lounge from 6:00 PM until 7:00 PM. We encourage you to wear your favorite noir-inspired attire.

The first movie to hit the giant screen is Orson Welles’ “Touch of Evil” (1958) at 7:00 PM. At 9:15 PM, we’ll conclude the evening with a special 35 mm film presentation of “Mildred Pierce” (1945).

Saturday’s films will begin around sunset with a 5:00 PM presentation of Stanley Kubrick’s crime thriller, “The Killing” (1956). At 7:00 PM, Robert Mitchum, Jane Greer, and Kirk Douglas star in “Out of The Past” (1947).

Finishing our festival is a 35 mm Technicolor presentation of “Leave Her to Heaven” (1945) with Gene Tierney and Cornel Wilde.

Event Details: January 15- January 16, 2016 Crest Theatre

Already have plans for the 15th & 16th? You can still take advantage of our other sweet offers for Crest Theatre: Admission Gift Certificates: $10 for $5 *Not valid towards festivals, special screenings, or double features Concession Gift Certificates: $13 for $6.50 *Valid for one large popcorn and one large fountain drink SN&R

W W W. N E W S R E V I E W. C O M

12 | SN&R | 01.14.16

Building unity Coming together to build new homes—and you can help, too

BY JEFF VONKAENEL

je ffv @ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m

built a house together, Spiritual Life Center and We need your signature. We need your signature, Sacramento Area League of Associated Muslims along with thousands of other Sacramento signabuilt a house together, and Trinity Cathedral and tures, on a large piece of drywall. This drywall will Center of Praise Ministries built a house together. be going into the interfaith Habitat for Humanities The houses were great. But so was the process homes that we will be building this year in North of building them. “I was new to Sacramento and Sacramento. One of the homes is being sponsored the Habitat partnership between Center of Praise by members of Sacramento’s Muslim community Ministries and Trinity Cathedral was a lovely introand one of the homes is being sponsored by a duction to the diversity of our region,” Brian Baker, coalition of interfaith religious organizations. The the dean at Trinity, told me at the time. “It created two homes will be built together, next door to one friendships between members of two very different another. congregations.”

They will be built by Muslims, Christians, Jews, We need more of this. That is why the board Buddhists, nonbelievers, Republicans, Democrats, of the Interfaith Council of Greater Independents, working people, business Sacramento has endorsed this project. owners, old, young, white, African“We aren’t a big metropolis, but we American, Mexican-American and are an important city. We need to all other Americans, whether they We are starting lead so that other cities can see be documented, undocumented, with two houses in that it can be done—and done Sacramento Kings fans, Sacramento. But we well,” said president of the Oakland Raiders fans, San council, Jon Fish. “The children Francisco Giants fans and many can build more—and of God everywhere need shelter others. These homes will be we can build more and safety from the storms of built by anyone and everyone unity. life. Unselfishness and goodness who can put aside their differwill be the headlines in all of this.” ences to build houses and build And there will be headlines. unity.

Americans throughout the country are We will be building energy-efficient, looking for a way to leave the warring camps beautiful three-bedroom, two-bath houses for behind and come together. We are starting with two Sacramento families who are currently living two houses in Sacramento. But we can build in substandard housing and who will contribute 500 more—and we can build more unity. Not just here hours of “sweat equity” to building their home. The in Sacramento, but around the country. In nearly new homes will have 30-year, no-interest mortgages every city there is a Habitat for Humanity chapter, that will cost less than one-third of the families’ and there are Muslims, Christians and others who income. The kids will have bedrooms instead of a are willing to put their support behind this type of couch in the living room. The monthly mortgage project. checks will go to a fund to help another family Come to our free kickoff event, Unity Build, this receive a home. These will be life-changing homes, Tuesday, January 19, at 6 p.m. at the Capitol Plaza with your signature inside the walls.

Temple Ballroom (1025 Ninth Street, Suite 205).

But we are not only building houses. We are You can put your signature on the first of what building a better America, where our common we hope will be 100 pieces of drywall. Pieces humanity matters more than our differences. of drywall which will change the lives of 100 In Sacramento, we have done this before. On the American families. Ω anniversary of September 11, we had an interfaith music event, Call for Unity, at the Memorial The Unity Build event is Tuesday, January 19, at 6 p.m. at the Capitol Auditorium. Thousands of people, of all different Plaza Temple Ballroom (1025 Ninth Street, Suite 205). religions, including our Muslim brothers and sisters, came together to find comfort and inspiration in each other’s music and spoken word. That event Jeff vonKaenel is the president, CEO and majority owner of the News & Review. was a benefit for Habitat for Humanity.

Since then, Habitat has built many interfaith homes. The Sikhs and the Latter Day Saints

Y R A U N A J N I N I JO

!

H T N O M E E = FR 6.

Expires 1/31/1

916.442.3927 | www.capitalac.com | Conveniently located at the corner of 8th & P 18

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SN&R's annual guide to vice

THIS YEAR, LET'S GET UNPROFESSIONAL. WHO NEEDS A DRINK? OR 10!

BY NICK MILLER

nickam@newsreview.com

The neon glow above the Zebra Club’s front entrance reads “Open 6 a.m.,” and it seduces. Hey Nick, I’m sure you have deep pain. Ease that, that life hurt, get in here, get some whiskey on those lips. Oh, why not. It’s not like I’m doing heroin before noon. That’s addiction. A harmless shot-and-a-beer before sunrise? Some might call that a power breakfast.

The sign of the Zebra (1900 P Street) has beckoned passersby for more than 25 years. I am not immune.

Inside, I’m reminded that Zebra is truly a place for all stripes, but especially for folks whose eyeballs have rolled so far back in their heads, due to the overwhelming yuppiness of Sacramento year 2016, that only a cheap bloody mary will do. It’s crazy to think that, in five years, Zebra will be a lone remnant of janky Midtown amid trendy new dog parks and blocks of newly erected power lofts (and, surely, even more coldpressed-juice cafes and yoga dens).

Thankfully its proprietors own the building, and Z will always be a sanctuary where blue-collar Sacramentans hold court with young unprofessionals scorned by the Metro Edge rat race. And it all starts at 6 a.m.

On this Sunday—confessedly a little later than sunrise—Midtown music-scene staple Ground Chuck is belly up at the bar, his wiry beard nearly dipping into his cranberry juice cocktail. Zebra’s owner himself is behind the bar. “What game you want to watch?” He’s talking NFL. “Anything but the Patriots,” is the answer if you don’t want to get your ass kicked.

All right, let’s talk poison: A shot and a beer at Zebra will set you back very little. That bloody?

You’re going to want to order extra spicy (trust me).

The second hand rips around the clock. But you’ve got a plan:

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Ten ways to get drunk before noon, and time isn’t on your side.

There are, of course, other time-tested dive-bar options on the central-city grid. Round Corner (2333 S Street, doors unlock at 10 a.m.) remains a cheap drink haven. Or the new-look Hilltop Tavern (4757 Folsom Boulevard, open at 9 a.m.) and its amenable beer list.

But this journey to get juiced before high noon needs caffeine. Stat. Enter the Almost Famous Irish Coffee at de Vere’s Irish Pub (1521 L Street).

The hostess seats our group immediately—on a Sunday just after 10 a.m.!—in a sun-drenched corner booth with leather-backed seats by the window. The warmth accelerates the drunk; it’s science, yo. Coffees show up in a jiffy, what with their reverse-cascading head of whiskey flowing up the side of the glass into the freshly whipped cream. At once sweet and dry, this is my new secret flagship Sacramento cocktail. And, at eight bucks, it’s just $2.75 more than a venti pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks—and not crappy.

The crew starts rambling about other almost-famous morning drinking spots: The nine-dollar bottomless champagne on a boat overlooking the Sacramento River, thank you Delta King (1000 Front Street); a michelada while tucked away at Midtown’s Tres Hermanas bar (2416 K Street, I suggest the spicy Negra Modelo); the newschool famous bloody mary at Pour House (1910 Q Street, with Jason Poole of Preservation Co.’s award-winning mix) for $8.50; and Magpie (1601 16th Street), where seasonal radlers, or mixtures of German-inspired beer and sweet spritzers like lemonade, sneak up on you (for instance, the Winter Radler is a wit beer and grapefruit for just $6, and is basically the only reason to drink a wheated brew).

By this point, it’s that warm-in-the legs drunk. But it’s impossible to truly achieve hammered of the before-noon gods without a Ramos Fizz.

Enter Shady Lady Saloon (1409 R Street), where the bartenders fight over who gets to prepare my order of this classic New Orleans cocktail. I like how the drink-makers take their damn time at Shady—no rush, no problem—and my bartender’s spin on the drink is gently botanical, what with its unique gin selection, complemented by a smooth egg-white fizz and subtle Creamsicle character. If I won Powerball’s millions, I’d have one of these every morning—after buying majority share of the Sacramento Kings, of course.

IF I WON POWERBALL’S MILLIONS, I’D HAVE ONE OF THESE EVERY MORNING—AFTER BUYING MAJORITY SHARE OF THE SACRAMENTO KINGS, OF COURSE. Last stop, B-Side (1430 S Street), the new sister bar of the Shady team. Inside feels more like a bro cave for the record hoarder in your life.

Stereo knobs decorate the wall, and John Carpenter’s They Live buzzes on the TV. Drinks at B-Side run a notch less than the typical craft-cocktail bar fare in the city. And that’s great when you’re already drunk and it’s 10 minutes to noon. (Be warned, B-Side opens later, at 11 a.m.). We go for some Track 7 IPA and threaten to end our unprofessional drunk crawl at popular industry spot Elixir (1815 10th Street). But we can’t go there. That would be 11. And we’re way too tossed to go to that level.

Or, maybe not. Ω

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3

1

THOU SHALT HAVE A HIGHER CALLING Keep your eyes on the big prize. How are you supposed to go on tour, or write the Great American Novel, or open that yoga studio or bakery you’ve been talking about if you have to work weekends? That necktie is starting to look an awful lot like a noose, my friend.

THOU SHALT DATE PEOPLE MUCH YOUNGER THAN YOU Nothing says “I’m not ready to be a grown-up” more than dating someone seven years younger than you. It’s an ancient scumbag secret that you can live in that sweet spot of irresponsibility and vapid drug-fueled conversation for the rest of your life if you just trade in for a new model every time your significant other turns 25.

You can also swap them out sooner if they start asking nosy questions. “Where do I plan on being in five years?

Sitting right here with a different 22-year-old.”

2

4 THOU SHALT GET A HEAD START Coasting through your 20s is a lot easier if you start coasting in your late teens. And though college dropouts might acquire useful binge-drinking skills before crashing and burning, you’re probably just as well off hanging around town and playing video games instead. Those interested in a hybrid approach might pursue a degree in something low-impact and unprofitable, like pottery.

Or journalism.

THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR’S SUCCESS Did your friend buy a house out in the burbs? What a square! Did you blow your grocery money on “healing crystals”? Right on!

5 THOU SHALT HAVE THY PRIORITIES STRAIGHT It’s payday, and that money is burning a hole in your pocket.

Here’s how to prioritize your earnings: 1. Drugs 2. Booze 3. Food (not actual food, mind you, but fast food) 4. Cigarettes 5. Hey Mom, money’s pretty tight this month, can you front me a few hundred bucks to cover rent?

True story: I went nearly my entire 20s without a bank account. When I finally came back to banking, they had smartphone apps that can deposit checks by taking a photo of them. I felt like a caveman staring at a campfire for the first time.

E

6

THOU SHALT CULTIVATE INTERESTS THAT INSULATE YOU FROM REALITY Occasionally, stray thoughts of buying health insurance or having a savings account might enter your mind. Go ahead and watch the seventh season of The Simpsons again. Put on the commentary this time.

Easy does it 7 How to coast through your first act and still succeed at life

THOU SHALT NOT GET MARRIED (IMPULSIVE DISASTER MARRIAGES ARE TOTALLY OK, THOUGH) Healthy relationships are difficult work that require both parties to be present and responsible, so avoiding them is very important. But if you need to tie the knot at 6 in the morning, then by all means, don’t think twice.

BY BRIAN BRENEMAN brianrb@newsreview.com

We’ve all heard some sort of spin on the phrase “30 (or 40 or 50) is the new 20,” and the message is clear: Your 20s don’t matter!

In in the interest of passing those 10 years in an ineffectual state of bliss, I present the Nine Coasting Commandments. Why nine and not 10?

Because I woke up late, that’s why. Get off my back.

9 8

THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT TOO FULLY TO SELFDESTRUCTION

THOU SHALT HAVE A SAFETY NET—SORTA What you need is a friendly group of people coasting at the same speed as you.

No go-getters, no eager beavers, no one who gets up before 10, no marrieds, no home owners, no junior executives. If anyone uses the word “networking,” they’re out. My friends and I have repeatedly discussed forming a tontine—a pact where several parties invest equal shares of money and the last surviving member collects the full amount—but have decided that it would only motivate us to murder each other in the pursuit of a hefty payday. That’s a real #squadgoal.

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It’s about coasting, not falling into a tailspin.

Your mission is to wallow in irresponsibility and immaturity to the precise degree that you’ll be able to rejoin the human race when (and if) you finally decide that it’s necessary.

To that end, make sure you don’t get carried away with any hard drugs, take care to avoid jail by only committing misdemeanors and avoid accruing debt. Ω

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janelleb@newsreview.com

Dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.

Macaroni and cheese. That unlimited “salad” bar. As a kid, I loved Sizzler. It was a magical place where you could devour anything you wanted in any imagined quantity. Remarkably, my immigrant mom liked going, too. Choice. Freedom. The American Dream.

The buffets of the ’80s may have fallen out of favor, but there are still plenty of ways to get your all-you-can-eat on in Sacramento. Some feature aisles of grub sitting in chafing dishes, others cook your meal to order.

Or, you cook your own meal. I recently found myself at Oz Korean BBQ in Elk Grove, surrounded by neon lights, grills and platters of raw, marinated meats. The onslaught is quick: wasabi-flavored salad; eight small plates of pickles, fermented veggies and other banchan; rice; fried chicken and fried pot stickers. And the grill was just getting hot.

Galbi. Chili pork. Garlic prawns. We cooked and ate as quickly as possible. More galbi. Bulgogi. More galbi. We were already full. Pathetically full. But my boyfriend insisted on placing two more orders, even after I’d thrown my napkin on my plate. He takes the all-you-can-eat thing quite literally.

“I’m still going, even if I wheeze myself to sleep tonight,” he said.

Then, he started sounding like my mother.

“If we all do our part and have one more piece of chicken, we’ll be fine.”

Despite the bowling balls in our bellies, we were more than fine. We were ecstatic. Gorging so much that it hurts is fun—not to mention our basic human right. Amurrica.

With that, I present SN&R’s quick-and-dirty guide to overeating in the 916. Ω

“ IF WE ALL DO OUR PART AND HAVE ONE MORE PIECE OF CHICKEN, WE’LL BE FINE.”

KOREAN INDIAN SOUTHERN

Sandra Dee’s Bar-B-Que & Seafood (601 15th Street)

CHINESE

Hoicin (9555 Folsom Boulevard)

SUSHI

BY JANELLE BITKER

Pooja Indian Grill (1223 Merkley Avenue in West Sacramento)

MONGOLIAN ETHIOPIAN

Go for that last chicken wing. You can always wheeze yourself to sleep, baby.

Oz Korean BBQ (3343 Bradshaw Road or 2605 Riparian Drive in Elk Grove)

PIZZA

FREEDOM AND OVEREATING IN SACRAMENTO

Where

HOT POT

continued from page 17

Cuisine

FINE DINING

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“Vice and unprofessionalism”

Cost

Style

Pro Tips

$17.99-$21.99

Made to order/cook it yourself

No rules on appetizers and sides, but only four meats at a time. You’re charged $5 if you leave meat behind, so be careful. Two-hour time limit. Expect a wait.

$9.99 at lunch, $15.99 at dinner

Self-serve buffet

There are too many Indian buffets in Sacramento to possibly list, but Pooja is the only restaurant that also serves a dinner buffet on Fridays and Saturdays.

Naan is made to order.

$15

$15.95

Raku Sushi (2915 West Capitol Avenue in $13.95 at West Sacramento lunch, $19.95 or 6726 Stanford at dinner Ranch Road in Roseville) Queen Sheba (1704 Broadway)

Golden Bowls Mongolian BBQ

(9529 Folsom Boulevard)

Uncle Vito’s Slice of NY (1501 16th Street)

Heat Shabu Baru (2416 18th Street, Suite E)

The Kitchen (2225 Hurley Way)

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Made to order

All-you-can-eat rib tips on Tuesdays; all-you-can-eat fried catfish on Wednesdays. Comes with two sides and cornbread.

Made to order

More than 30 options, plus chow mein, fried rice or steamed rice. At least two people required, available after 3 p.m. on weekdays or anytime on weekends.

Made to order

Sushi rolls, nigiri, appetizers and dessert, plus a self-serve salad bar. Whatever you do, don’t go to those sushi buffets with raw fish sitting out for who-knows-how-long.

$8.99

Self-serve buffet

$9.45

Self-serve/ made to order

Load up your bowl with meat, veggies and noodles, and the restaurant will grill it for you. Over and over and over.

Dinner only.

It’s pizza

As many slices (cheese, pepperoni, pesto, combo or the daily special) as you can handle, from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Monday through Thursday.

Made to order/cook it yourself

Unlimited shabu-shabu, the Japanese version of hot pot, means endless broth, noodles, veggies, beef, lamb and pork. But you’re charged $5 for each wasted plate. Entire party must partake.

Two-hour time limit.

Made to order

Technically, Sacramento’s fine dining destination is an all-you-can-eat restaurant. There’s a buffet during intermission, often with sashimi and oysters, and you’re allowed to keep ordering repeats off the fixed menu. Hello, three plates of truffled gnocchi.

$8.63

$31.99, $42.99 with all-you-candrink

$135

Weekday-only, vegetarianand vegan-friendly spread.

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The Full Count Bloody Mary from Field House American Sports Pub. PHOTO BY LISA BAETZ

continued from page 19

Seven heaven

EFF IT UP

Tell the health-conscious fascist in your life to screw off with these local gut-busters

BY ANTHONY SIINO anthonys@newsreview.com

For all this “self-betterment” you’re getting at with your New Year’s resolutions, you’re really just lying to yourself. We’re all gonna die, including you with your pretty vegan abs and glistening gluten-free teeth.

To that end, here are some top picks for locally made food nightmares to ward off the health-conscious fascists in your life.

20 | SN&R | 01.14.16

The Triple F at Cafe Colonial (3520 Stockton Boulevard), $11 In 2016, we’re done with the buns. From here on out, all burgers must use grilled cheese sandwiches instead. Cafe Colonial pioneered this revolutionary technique with its Ken Fury Triple F burger, named after the local punk and skate shop owner.

You can ask for any burger and tell them to “fuck it up,” thereby replacing buns with grilled-cheese sandwiches. What’s most surprising about this monster is that it’s actually good: Imagine the most overwhelming patty melt possible and you’re starting to get there.

A CORPSE, FRIED AND WHOLE Soft-shell Crab Burrito at Wrap ’n’ Roll (1801 L Street), $8.95 Born on the streets of Japan, sushi started as low art for the people before becoming popularized as a high-end staple. But with the trend of everything having to be burritos, we’re coming back to sushi as low art with the menu at Wrap ’n’ Roll. These burrito rolls are anything but pretty, especially because they fall apart as soon as you put them to your face. But the portions are massive and they scratch that sushi itch. I recommend the soft-shell crab burrito, because what’s more sickening than rolling up an entire fried animal into your dinner?

MOZZARELLA STICK SANDWICH Cheezee Grilled Cheese at Flaming Grill Cafe (2319 El Camino Avenue), $9.99 The Flaming Grill Cafe revels in standing out. Just look at the menu: gator bites, frog legs and burgers made from venison, bison, wild boar and more. We could be ruining your colonic health for the entirety of 2016 with this place alone. Draw your attention to the Cheezee Grilled Cheese in particular. It’s a grilled cheddar cheese sandwich, but this time, the game is for real: There are mozzarella sticks and bacon in there to boot. You’ll learn to live with the blockages.

RESPECTABLE DEPRAVITY Monte Cristo at Tower Cafe (1518 Broadway), $13.95 Need a touch of class before eating straight from the grease trap? The Monte Cristo, ruining hearts for damn near 80 years, is a ham-and-cheese sandwich fried like French toast, presented at Tower Cafe with a dusting of powdered sugar and a chipotle raspberry jam. And since it’s been on high-class menus since perhaps the 1930s, this artery cruster is grandfathered into bourgeois notions of respectability and will therefore earn two less hateful glares from your classconscious mother-in-law.

YOU’LL LEARN TO LIVE WITH THE BLOCKAGES.

CAPITOL, CAPS AND STEMS

BLOODY HELL

A writer takes psychedelic mushrooms and embarks on an adventure through downtown Sacramento

Full Count Bloody Mary at Field House American Sports Pub (1310 Fulton Avenue), $18 You’re waking up after a night of Monte Cristos and cheap beer, and you need something stiff to scrape the crust from your soul. But can a normal bloody mary get it done? You’ll need a bucketful of the stuff—and a sampler platter of pickled goods, sausage, bacon, shrimp and even a slider—to survive this morning malaise. Field House is ready, helpfully skewering all of these items as garnishes for their 32-ounce hangover buster. Good luck finishing it.

MURDER OF CHEESES Grilled Cheese Benedict at Bacon & Butter (5913 Broadway), $14.50 What is it about brunch that brings out the hedonists? Who knows. But hail to Bacon & Butter for making the bastard child of breakfast and lunch bearable for death-seeking diners. Their most offensive offering is the Grilled Cheese Benedict, a challah slab slathered in hollandaise, eggs, bacon and a murder of three cheeses. It’ll quiet that throbbing reminder to cut yourself off at 15 the next time you drink.

#SACRAMENTOPROUD Hubcap with Spokes at Jim-Denny’s (816 12th Street), $19.34 We’ve got a homegrown classic with the Hubcap, a massive pancake that’s about as big as you think it is. You’ve got to get it with spokes—eight pieces of bacon or sausage, your call—and then two eggs for funsies. If you and you alone can crush it in 20 minutes or less, you get a free shirt and $10 for the next visit. But don’t do it for the freebies. Do it for the pride. More importantly, do it for the decadence. Ω

BY ANONYMOUS

First it hits your gut.

A tinge of unease. Pupils fix, lights enhance. Sizes, shapes— malleable. Keep your cool. Ride it out. If you find yourself in the confusions of an M.C. Escher labyrinth, do your best to keep it together.

And when all else fails, find your favorite tree and never leave its side.

It’s Friday night. We’re high on mushrooms outside the California state Capitol building, ogling the massive orbs hanging from the state’s Christmas tree.

Disco balls, we decide. These are disco balls and January must be Disco Month.

We laugh, dance, make our way toward the ice skating rink before deciding to duck into a nearby arcade/bar to finish the last of our mushroom stash.

I don’t do these kinds of drugs often. They don’t fit my personality. Psychedelics relieve users of their egos, and for a writer immersed in the throes of nihilism and control issues, that’s almost always a recipe for terror.

Now at an underground speakeasy, we drink craft beer and bluff our way through a

game of Scrabble. My heart sinks as my partner plays off the end of my word, “DURRVL,” to make “ANNELLLY.” Damn she’s good.

It’s hot down here. I take off my scarf, my knit pink hat. My stomach churns intensified. The mushrooms are really kicking in.

The game continues, but I can’t focus. The ceiling feels lower than before, the room constricted. There are more people here than I can take—gesticulating, shouting, laughing—and I find that when I turn my attention to any one table I am overcome with waves of the sounds and colors and movement they create.

We stand to leave. I take one last look at the Scrabble board and frown. BACORN. SKRAGGLE. She’s clearly won.

It’s nice to be out in the elements again. I take in the white lights strung above the ice rink, the leaves and seeds frozen into the ice below my skates. We glide, laughing as young couples and Russian families weave around us.

This may be my favorite part of the evening: Watching each

V

skater holding hands, holding the wall, racing, playing tag with their crushes, all gliding in perpetuity along this path that has no end or beginning.

Before we leave, I stand next to the rink, direct my line of sight against the flow of traffic and take in the joy on each skater’s face.

What a thing, to be alive. I’ve forgotten I’m high.

After a stroll down K Street, we take a break in a small Japanese restaurant. She has sushi and tea. Myself, edamame and beer. It feels like my body is moving without my mind’s blessing, but I’m able to keep it together.

We block out the surrounding patrons with our minds, make this table our universe, eat, giggle, stare into one another’s eyes and dance to the venue’s elevator jazz.

The evening ends where it began: Capitol Park. We wander through the thick of the flora on the east end in quiet content.

The true gift of psychedelic mushrooms is the bond you form with plant life. You know, on a level unlike any before, that these are living, breathing beings. That they have a range of emotions,

“Vice and unprofessionalism”

and that if you treat them kindly, they’ll respond in turn.

I DON’T DO THESE KINDS OF DRUGS OFTEN. THEY DON’T FIT MY PERSONALITY. We stop, struck by the beauty of the Fagus sylvatica purpurea, or purple beech. What at first appear to be eyes on its body we realize with sadness are the scars of amputated branches. We slide our hands across the tree’s bark, talk to it like an old friend, ask its age. After a few minutes we say goodbye.

Leaving Capitol Park I am struck by the fact that someone out there now has security footage of me hugging a tree. I smile.

How patently California. Ω

continued on page 22

01.14.16 | SN&R | 21

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“Vice and unprofessionalism” continued from page 21

Film is the ultimate escapist medium, allowing viewers to sample elements of danger and empathy without doing anything more dangerous or empathetic than eating a tub of buttered popcorn. Perhaps that’s why party scenes have been a staple of movies since the silent era: Movie parties allow us to indulge in high-spirited hedonism without the hangovers and hassles.

Classic party scenes range from the Ewok rager that closes Return of the Jedi (Go JubJub! Go JubJub!) to the masked orgy of Eyes Wide Shut. Entire films have been built around parties, from the acid-tongued cocktail banter of All About Eve to the high school all-nighters of Dazed and Confused and Superbad. In fact, the whole teen sex comedy genre is basically a nonstop kegger.

It’s well known that horny teens and Ewoks like to party hardy, but what about the rest of modern cinema? Can the box-office topping superheroes, award-winning auteurs and world cinema maestros of today rage with the greats? We went beyond The Hangover for this look inside some of the most memorable movie parties of the decade.

HIGH P-ART-Y Opening birthday party scene in The Great Beauty

Gatsby-esque overindulgence in the heart of Rome, but director Paolo Sorrentino’s protagonist preens at the center of the action rather than remaining in Gatsby-esque seclusion.

Sure, it’s all a metaphor for moral and spiritual desiccation, but rarely has moral and spiritual desiccation looked so voluptuous.

DENNY’S STYLE Dwarf dinner party in The Hobbit–An Unexpected Journey

There’s no Hobbit sex here—none that made it into the theatrical cut, anyway—but there is something far more unsettling: dwarf songs.

The food seems decent (“Denny’s built an entire themed menu around Hobbit cuisine, how bad could it be?” thought stomach cancer), but the party takes on an Exterminating Angel-esque interminableness, going on for on so long that I’m pretty sure it’s still happening.

COKE-FUELED EVERYTHING Almost any random scene from The Wolf of Wall Street

Ah, the American financial market: the ultimate celebration of excess and vice. Whether it’s a coke-fueled office bathroom bang sesh, or a coke-fueled beachhouse party or a coke-fueled anything else, Jordan Belfort and company make those pissants from Entourage look like the Pennsylvania Amish.

MACHU WHAT-CHU? The ayahuasca ceremony in While We’re Young

R Raging at the movies How to be a cinema aficionado and still party like a horny teen or Ewok

BY DANIEL BARNES

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WEDDING ORGY The wedding reception in Wild Tales

THE JAWS OF ALIEN APOCALYPSE? The pub tour in The World’s End

You expect a bride to have sex on her wedding night, just not with one of the kitchen workers. In the closing chapter of the revenge anthology Wild Tales, a joyous wedding turns into a nightmare of exposed lies, public fornication, broken glass and more public fornication. When they’re done screwing on top of it, ask the bride and groom to return your gift.

Garden-variety hallucinogens won’t turn heads in trendy Williamsburg, so the hipsters played by Amanda Seyfried and Adam Driver hold a quasi-traditional ayahuasca ceremony, and invite their middle-aged friends to sample the Peruvian spiritual medicine.

Pro tip: Maybe don’t flirt with the shaman.

AMERICAN MELTDOWN Chris Kyle’s backyard barbecue in American Sniper

A 12-pub beer crawl with your college buddies through your old stomping grounds, and Rosamund Pike tags along.

On the surface, that sounds amazing. Unfortunately, you’re a self-destructive alcoholic in deep denial, all of your friends hate you and you just walked straight into the jaws of the alien apocalypse.

Even worse: You’re stuck drinking bad British beer.

With meats cooking on the barbecue, the Southern California sun radiating warmth from above, and kids and animals running free in the backyard, this low-key child’s birthday party seems like the perfect way to spend a weekend afternoon. And then the PTSD-afflicted party host almost murders a dog for no reason.

Good vibes: gone.

KEY

SCIENTOLOGY ORGY

` MATRIMONY A LA LARS VON TRIER

CELEBRITY GUESTS ILLEGAL DRUGS

DRINKING BUDDIES

You’re on a luxurious boat, Philip Seymour Hoffman is singing and dancing up a storm and all of the women are completely naked.

What’s the catch? The women aren’t really naked, that’s just a metaphorical expression of your disturbed psyche and Hoffman is your domineering cult leader/father figure. At least no one asked Joaquin Phoenix to freestyle rap.

FLOWING BOOZE

FREE FOOD

The boat party in The Master

Superhero bro-down in Avengers: Age of Ultron

Yeah, ScarJo is tending bar at the party. But you have to go through a literal Hulk if you want to talk to her, and otherwise this is pretty much a complete sausage-fest. There’s hooch, but it’s some 1,000-year-old Asgardian swill, and all anyone can talk about is lifting each other’s hammer. An Avengers party is so douche-heavy that it makes 1 Oak look like a feminist collective.

POSSIBLE LIVE HEEDLESS HARBINGER OF DANCING ENTERTAINMENT THE APOCOLYPSE

SCARJO FAIL

OFF-LEASH ANIMALS

Free food, open bars, music and dancing, friends and family— weddings are always fun. Unless you’re unlucky enough to be in a Lars von Trier film, in which case you’re totally screwed. Of course, the entire affair is a harbinger of the apocalypse, but what do you expect when you hire Udo Kier as a wedding planner?

ILLICIT SEX

The wedding reception in Melancholia

King of bottom

BY BLAKE GILLESPIE

Random, rambling advice for Vlade Divac from a drunk on a barstool

The midday sun casts warm crepuscular rays into the stale air of a downtown bar. At 2 p.m., Elixir barely feels open. But I’ve done my diligence to christen the day. I drank two High Life pints and two high-gravity Track 7 Blood Orange IPAs, and chiefed half a joint of Trainwreck. Now, I’m polishing off a glass of High West bourbon, neat, during the Sacramento Kings’ Saturday afternoon game against the Phoenix Suns. No food.

WE WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP THAT YEAR. THE TROPHY IS STILL IN MY OFFICE. COME BY, I’LL SHOW IT TO YOU. I sit in zen watching the Kings. To my right, a couple of guys playing bones occasionally look up to criticize the team’s defensive breakdowns—a tired complaint that’s applicable to every Kings lineup since 2006. These two, like all Kings faithful, know defense ain’t Kings basketball. Kings basketball at its best is: unbeatable at home, offensively flashy—with no-look passes and dizzying ball movement, and savvy in crunch time.

The Kings’ winning formula keeps defense in parentheses.

The problem is that defense wins championships.

Defense is winning this season. Scoring a zillion points against the Suns after choking to the worst team in the league, the Sixers, is misleading. We aren’t winning because of scoring. It was defense that earned an early advantage and fed the offense.

C’mon, Vlade, lemme break off some big-league advice.

I’m notoriously scrupulous in my NBA fantasy league—two championships and a third-place finish. That shit doesn’t happen without knowing when to hold and fold.

In fact, here’s a little story about winning in Natomas while I sip this here bourbon: It was the adult league at Natomas Charter School. Our team was undersized and all heart. We overachieved one season, caught a couple of talented teams looking a game ahead.

We lost in the championship by 20. The magic ran out. Did we pick up defenders next season?

Shit, no! We picked up talent in a slashing, scoring point guard; and a mean, athletic power forward that created space for our leading scorer center to operate. We won the championship that year. The trophy is still in my office. Come by, I’ll show it to you.

My point is: Don’t add defense in free agency. It’s a wasteful pursuit midseason.

Lockdown defenders climb aboard Conference Finals caliber franchises, not long shot eighth seeds.

Vlade, don’t you dare go fishing for a Thabo Sefolosha or Khris Middleton. And do not under any circumstances give up Ben McLemore or Omri

Casspi. Keep being the sensei of flops for Cousins-san. If George Karl is questioning Willie Cauley-Stein’s conditioning, get him on the baseline for suicides and burpees.

Listen, I know conditioning is a bitch, especially midseason.

I quit Division 3 college ball because I wasn’t trying to jog gravel roads in the same county they filmed Deliverance.

Defense is built by buying into a system, and emphasizing to the current roster that no one is coming to bail their asses out.

And this year’s Kings are buying.

Passing lanes are getting jumped.

Rotation is sharper. Cousins is a terror in hedging pick ’n’ rolls. It’s coming together.

Instead, stress free throws.

Jesus! If you need a guru, I’m available. I once went 24 of 25 in the Knights of Columbus Free Throw Shooting Contest. Sixth grade level. Regional champion.

Would’ve gone 25 for 25, but some jabroni interrupted my rhythm at 21. Finished fourth in the state. Just missed Nationals.

I’m lights out from the line. I’m zen. With my system they’ll be machines.

Anyway, 72 percent from the stripe as a team is a disgrace. A disgrace! Don’t take solace that Cleveland is at the same percentage. They won’t be come April.

Did I mention that I played Division 1 varsity basketball?

Sure, I saw limited minutes off the bench. So? From the bench, you see the game—courtside seats to the mistakes coaches harp on in practice. You vow to never make those mistakes in your eight minutes per game.

I know what’s good. Ω

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Unbranded THURSDAY, JANUARY 14 The 2015 documentary Unbranded will make you either don the cowboy boots and hat or take comfort in your urban luxuries. Directed by Phillip Baribeau, it follows four men as they adopt, train and ride a string of wild mustangs across 3,000 miles from Mexico to Canada. It chronicles the hardships FILM and excitement the men experience on their epic journey. $12, 6:30 p.m. at Tower Theatre, 2508 Land Park Drive; www.tugg.com/events/79525.

THROWBACK JANUARY

—LoRY GiL

W

e get that everyone’s personal Jiminy Cricket is still in blowhard mode right now: upward and onward! You can save money for retirement, eat more chia seeds, learn French, spend less time Googling Game of Thrones rumors and do your part to end the gender-wage gap! But sometimes to make progress, one has to take a step back and look around. This week, the city offers a multitude of opportunities to travel back in time and observe what once was and how it reflects on what will be: On Friday, January 15, and Saturday, January 16, the Crest Theatre (1013 K Street) presents the noir nights Film Festival. Practice

your old-timey detective talk at the speakeasy hosted by Empress Tavern in the Wide-Angle Lounge from 6 p.m. to 7 p.m. on Friday before catching Orson Welles’ Touch of Evil. Over the course of festival, attendees will be able to catch the original Mildred Pierce, Stanley Kubrick’s The Killing, Out of the Past and Leave Her to Heaven.

Festival tickets are $35 and more information can be found at www.crestsacramento.com.

Switch your focus to local history with Hands on History: Trappers, Trades & Treaties at Sutter’s Fort (2701 L Street) on Saturday, January 16, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and check out the recently restored walls and gates while

learning about the hardcore dudes who hunted, bartered, negotiated and battled their way to settling the West. Admission is $3-$7 and includes a sample of OG beef jerky dried over an open fire. Learn more at www.suttersfort.org.

For those with a local-history habit that just won’t quit, head over the next day to the Crocker History Tour (216 O Street) on Sunday, January 17, from noon to 1 p.m., where attendees will learn about the influential founding family as they settled in the area around the turn of the 19th century. The tour is free with general admission. For more information visit www.crockerartmuseum.org.

—DeeNA DRewiS

“The Golden Era of American Journalism” THURSDAY, JANUARY 14 The Sacramento Bee is the region’s largest daily newspaper. At 25, Charles K. McClatchy took it over from his father. If you’ve wondered about his life, don’t miss Sacramento History Alliance’s LECTURE Speaker Series with Steven M. Avella.

Avella wrote Charles K. McClatchy and the Golden Era of American Journalism. $10, 7 p.m. at Center for Sacramento History, 551 Sequoia Pacific Boulevard; www.shopsachistorymuseum.org/Events.aspx.

—LoRY GiL

Photography weekend intensive SATURDAY, JANUARY 16, AND SUNDAY, JANUARY 17 Planning on becoming the next Ansel Adams or Annie Leibovitz in 2016? Set yourself up with a two-day intensive focusing on exposure and composition, lenses and more. The courses, PHOTOGRAPHY by the Rocky Mountain School of Photography, can be catered to beginner or intermediate levels. $149 for one day, $199 for both days; 8 a.m.-5:45 p.m., Saturday; 8 a.m.-5 p.m., Sunday; at Courtyard Marriott, 4422 Y Street; www.rmsp.com.

—DeeNA DRewiS

Slimy or smooth SUNDAY, JANUARY 17 Snakes are creepy. According to the Bible, they ruined everything. That aside, admit it, you kind of want to hold one and see what it feel like. This is the perfect opportunity. It’s safe, and there will be educated staff to tell you everything you want to know about snakes. Bring your kids and AnIMALS let them find out if snakes are slimy or smooth. Free, 1:30 p.m. at Effie Yeaw Nature Center, 2850 San Lorenzo Way; www.sacnaturecenter.net.

—AARoN CARNeS

Harlem Globetrotters SUNDAY, JANUARY 17, AND MoNDAY, JANUARY 18 Come check out the Harlem Globetrotters and celebrate the life of recently departed Meadowlark Lemon, who played with the team for 24 years and died in December. It’s the team’s 90th SPORTS anniversary tour and it still brings comedy, mind-blowing skill and genuine artistry to the game. $16-$120, 2 p.m. at Sleep Train Arena, 1 Sports Parkway; www.harlemglobetrotters.com.

—AARoN CARNeS

01.14.16 | SN&R | 25

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Faux beef LIMITLESS COMPASSION, ANDY NYUGEN If you’re not a cilantro freak, you may have issues feeling generous toward the Limitless Compassion ($11), a vegetable and faux beef dish at revered vegetarian restaurant Andy Nyugen. But even if you’re a cilantro hater, there’s a lot to love with the dish: firm and tasty broccoli, onions, carrots and green bell pepper with spongy little strips of “beef” that might convince vacillating vegetarians to finally stay on the nicer side of eating. With a little bit of rice and soup on the side, it’s a great choice for vegans tired of cherry-picking from Taco Bell’s menu and meat-lovers alike. 2007 Broadway, www.andynguyenvegetarian.com.

—ANTHONY SIINO

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Prohibition no more: Turns out, Twelve Rounds Brewing Co. dreams of whiskey. The brewery plans to become Sacramento’s first distillery.

“There’s a lot of microdistilleries in Washington and Oregon,” said Twelve Rounds owner Dan Murphy.

“For some reason, the concept just hasn’t caught on in Sacramento.”

Currently, there’s only one distillery in all of Sacramento County: Gold River Distillery in Rancho Cordova, and it was the county’s first distillery since Prohibition in the 1920s. Gold River launched in 2014.

The brewery-distillery concept isn’t new. In just California, Murphy cited the success of Anchor Brewery & Distillery in San Francisco and Ballast Point Brewing & Spirits in San Diego. Murphy plans to utilize a

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neighboring building and make all the mash in the East Sacramento brewery.

Murphy is actively looking for a distiller to join Twelve Rounds and estimates launching it in about a year.

He plans to start with whiskey then maybe move on to white rum and gin. That’ll all happen before Twelve Rounds’ kitchen, which Murphy said he still plans to complete, but that construction will be challenging.

Noodle movement: Mongolian barbecue is weird. The name alone makes little sense. It’s not Mongolian, it’s Taiwanese. And it’s not barbecue, it’s stir-fry via a giant, circular griddle.

Mongolian barbecue spots were so popular in the ’90s, along with other customizable, all-you-can-eat options.

Then, suddenly, they weren’t. Chinese restaurants, like Silver Garden on Madison started adding Mongolian barbecue sections instead.

One local spot managed to last for 35 whopping years: Mongolian Bar-B-Q by Great Wall (1537 Howe Avenue). It lost its lease and closed last week, though its owners intend to reopen somewhere else soon. Keep up on its progress at www.greatwall mongo.com. In the meantime, get your saucy noodle fix at Silver Garden, Golden Bowls Mongolian BBQ or somewhere out in the burbs.

Chef changes: After about a year-and-a-half as executive chef at Kupros Craft House, chef Martin “Marty” Hutton has moved on to food truck life. He’s now at Elk Grove’s Dojo Burger, which specializes in Asian fusion burgers. Prior to Kupros, Hutton worked at Broderick Roadhouse—and he brought a version of banh mi fries with him. He made some big changes at Kupros, altering basically the entire menu and introducing brunch. Former sous chef Caleb Meyer, who previously trained at Le Cordon Bleu, stepped in as executive chef at the start of 2016. Ω

Sad news for whiskey sippers: the popularity of brown liquor in the last few years has made aged whiskey hard to find. Obviously, we all need to switch to gin. One local option is Darjeeling Gin ($35.99 for a 750-milliliter bottle) from Auburn-based California Distilled Spirits. Flavored with Darjeeling tea, citrus and spices, this gin is fragrant and smooth, making it ideal with tonic or stirred with vermouth, OJ and Grand Marnier for a devilish Satan’s Whiskers. Find it at Corti Brothers, Taylor’s Market and Nugget Markets. http://californiadistilledspirits.com.

—ANN MARTIN ROLKE

Like Popeye SPINACH Have you had it with kale chips, kale smoothies, kale salads—even kale pesto? Try an old favorite called spinach. Don’t eat it from the can like Popeye the Sailor Man. You can get gorgeous fresh spinach this time of year.

It’s extremely hardy, so it grows throughout winter in Sacramento. Slip a few leaves into a sandwich or stir them into grain and vegetable soups as you serve them. You can hardly find a more nutrient-rich food. It’s exceptionally high in vitamins A and K and an excellent source of plant-based iron. It’ll make you strong to the “finich.”

—ANN MARTIN ROLKE

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Gina’s Filipino Kape

HH 1011 12th Street, (916) 822-4155, www.ginasfilipinokape.com Dinner for one: $5 - $10 Good for: Filipino standards Notable dishes: Filipino burrito, adobo

California has a large Filipino community, and the Sacramento area boasts a hearty population—at least 40,000, according to the 2010 U.S. census data.

So why don’t we have more Filipino restaurants? You can certainly find a few places in south Sacramento and Natomas, where populations are heavy. But, until recently, there wasn’t much of anything available in downtown or Midtown.

In early October of last year, Gina Ramirez sought to change that, opening Gina’s Filipino Kape (Tagalog for “cafe”). The space used to be an espresso bar, and the same elaborate neon sign still hangs outside. A portable A-frame sign specifies it as Gina’s, although it’s often folded in rainy weather.

The place is clean and bright, although it’s dominated by two huge flat-screen TVs, playing endless loops of Friends on our visits.

Diners order at the counter and servers bring food to the table. The only menu is on the wall, though it would be helpful to have a hand-held paper version as well.

While many Filipinos will recognize the Americanized titles of some items, Gina’s could help educate others with some more explanations. The breakfast items, for instance, include fried rice with sausage and egg ($6.95). This is otherwise known as sinangag, and is usually served with a fried egg and longganisa sausage.

The short, plump sausages were slightly sweet and garlicky, while the rice was fairly mild and somewhat underseasoned. It came with ketchup, which seemed weird, but we found out later that it was banana ketchup, a distinctive Filipino

condiment. Unfortunately, the tomato slices were an unappetizing pale shade of salmon.

A better breakfast choice is the Filipino burrito ($5), which is a fantastic mashup of cuisines. It was a reasonable portion of diced potatoes, supercaramelized onions, crispy bits of longganisa, cheese and egg in a flour tortilla. The crunchy sausage and sweet onion really made the combo crave-able.

There is coffee, of course, and we had it straight ($1.50) and as a latte ($2.50). The prices are certainly good, and the coffee is fine if not noteworthy. You can also order a variety of bottled beers and juices.

Some baked items are brought in, while others are made on-site. They change daily, so ask for descriptions. Recently, they had housemade egg pie and cookies (one free with coffee).

There are hot specials daily, like kare-kare (oxtail in peanut sauce) on Wednesdays. We tried the Tuesday adobo ($8) made with pork, and it was perfect for a cold day. Large chunks of pork are braised in garlic, oil and vinegar until they fall apart, then served with their flavorful juices and caramelized onions. There’s white rice on the side and a mixed salad with a sweet dressing.

Under “specials,” there’s also pancit ($7.50) and lumpia ($2.50 for three). Pancit is a characteristic dish of stir-fried rice noodles with chicken and shrimp. Gina’s version has large chunks of carrot and cabbage as well as sliced yellow peppers. It’s a fairly bland dish, but heartily portioned, with a hot lumpia on the side.

Lumpia are possibly the most well-known Filipino dish. The ones at Gina’s are long and slender, freshly fried and served with a sweet and slightly spicy dipping sauce. The pork filling isn’t plentiful, but they’re tasty nonetheless. You can also get them with a shrimp filling.

They’re on the right track, introducing Filipino food to downtown, but Gina’s could use some more oomph. Some enthusiastic promotion of the menu items and what they are, plus some finetuning of flavors could really make it a go-to spot on the grid. Ω

The Filipino burrito is a fantastic mashup of cuisines.

Tasty tastes Make your way through more than 40 breweries—plus a few local wineries, food trucks and restaurants—at the fifth annual Winterfest. A $45 general admission ticket gets you unlimited sips and nibbles; designated drivers can purchase a $10 ticket to enjoy the food, live music and social atmosphere. Among the edible options: Chando’s Tacos, Dad’s Kitchen, Drewski’s Hot Rod Kitchen and the Melting Pot. Vintners will come out from Plymouth, Lodi and Sonoma, as well as, more or less, Sacramento’s backyard. But the beer—and not-quitebeer—is the big draw. Locals, such as Blue Note, Knee Deep and New Helvetia, will be pouring, as well as some from further afield: Oregon’s Nectar Creek Meadery; Paso Robles’ Firestone Walker; and Santa Monica’s Small Town Brewery, famous for its Not Your Father’s Root Beer. Need more incentive? The event benefits the Runnin’ for Rhett Foundation, a nonprofit that fights childhood obesity. More at http://sacwinterfest.org.

—JANELLE BITKER

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SN&R reached out to Veg’s owners, but did not hear back before press time to query about what exactly will be on the menu aside from a farm-to-fork focus—and how much

of it will be vegan. Fingers crossed there will be many purely plantbased options that are still rich and satisfyingly ooze with umami.

Veg Coffee.Bar.Tearoom’s address is 2431 J Street on the second floor.

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FIND OF THE WEEK

Avoid Hoarders TEXTURE When I married my husband I wrote into our vows that he had to let me to “subscribe to as many magazines as I wanted.” Thing is, I’m afraid of ending up on Hoarders. Thank goodness for Texture, the app that lets you read hundreds of titles including Newsweek, Rolling Stone, National Geographic and Wired. Bonus: The app allows readers to save and share articles, too. A subscription costs $9.99 for monthly titles APP and $14.99 if you want to include weekly pubs, too. Which you do, of course, because it’s those hard copies of The New Yorker that just might topple over and kill you one day. www.texture.com.

—RACHEL LEIBROCK

Got projects?

CALIFORNIA STATE HOME & GARDEN SHOW Time to dream big at the annual California State Home & Garden Show. Those looking to upgrade appliances, make home additions or landscape that yard that looks like death, this is the weekEXPO end destination. Expect lots of vendors and various demos from experts in the field. $6, noon- 6 p.m., Friday January 15; 10 a.m-6 p.m., Saturday, January 16; 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sunday, January 17; Sacramento Convention Center, 1400 J Street; www.calstateshows.com.

—EDDIE JORGENSEN

Sip ’n’ ride OLD VINE EXPRESS Yolo County boasts great views and killer wineries.

Since our region has a rich history with trains, why not combine all three? The Old Vine Express meanders along for three hours, so people can take in all the wonderful sights—and drink wine WINE from Yolo County wineries. A ticket buys 10 tastes. $25-$65, 3 p.m. Saturday, January 16; Sacramento River Train, 400 N Harbor Boulevard; www.sacramentorivertrain.com.

—AARON CARNES

Rock hangoverready CHERRY BOMB Thursday’s long been the new Friday. It’s a night to let loose even if you have to drag yourself into the office the next mornDJ NIGHT ing with a rock ’n’ roll hangover, complete with messedup hair and smudgy eyeliner.

Get that feeling Thursday, January 21, when Ann Tindall—a.k.a.

DJ Annimal—kicks off Cherry Bomb, a weekly, vinyl-only deejay night at the Hideway Bar & Grill.

Tindall’s deejay cred goes back to at least the early aughts when she launched a glam rock night at Old Ironsides with Shaun Slaughter and Roger Carpio. Back then, though, it was a little more Bon Jovi than, say, Suzi Quatro, MC5 (pictured) or the Stooges.

Now she’s back with the intent to pull out the best and rarest platters—think “junkshop glam, power pop, proto-punk and early punk,” she says.

“I always wanted to play rare rock vinyl only … and have been collecting records before and since with a huge spike in my collection, thanks to Discogs and better international exchange rates,” she adds. “No more crates of dirty, scratched, dollar bin records scrapped together into a set. I don’t wanna hear that shit and you shouldn’t either.” Word. Free, 9 p.m.-2 a.m., Hideway Bar & Grill, 2565 Franklin Boulevard; www.facebook.com/ DJ-Annimal-1606624639562355.

—RACHEL LEIBROCK

01.14.16 | SN&R | 31

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REVIEWS

Horsepower to spare

BY JIM CARNES

PHOTO COURTESY OF SACRAMENTO THEATRE COMPANY

weakening before our eyes (and makeup has the least to do with it). Asberry also ages, but mostly his character grows stronger—strong enough to admit the mutual need between himself and the woman he drove and who taught him to read and write. Divine, as the dutiful son, allows the focus to stay on Daisy and Hoke. It is a superior cast and is given the best kind of support in Benjamin T. Ismail’s precise direction. Ω

4 The Realistic Joneses

“I told you to use Google Maps!”

Driving Miss Daisy

5

Driving Miss Daisy; 8 p.m. Friday, 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday; $34-$38. Pollock Stage at Sacramento Theatre Company, 1419 H Street; (916) 443-6722; www.sactheatre.org. Through February 14.

Alfred Uhry’s play Driving Miss Daisy is many things: a benign odd-couple drama, a delicate exploration of the South’s changing civil-rights scene, a warmhearted study of an unlikely friendship. In the production of the play now on stage at the Sacramento Theatre Company, it is all these things and a touching commentary on aging—the fears and frailties that come with time.

The play begins in 1948 in Atlanta, when— after yet another driving accident—72-year-old Daisy Werthan (Janis Stevens) is getting the unwelcome news from her son Boolie (Scott Divine) that he’s taking the keys to her car. From now on, she’s to have a driver—and Boolie will choose the man. When Boolie hires Hoke, an African-American man (Michael J. Asberry), the relationship runs rough. Over the course of the next 25 years, however, a strong friendship develops between the crotchety white woman and her driver.

Stevens, an intelligent and vibrant actress, gives herself bravely to the role, aging and

In The Realistic Joneses, playwright Will Eno creatively plays with language and meaning to convey the heartache, frustration and melancholy mystery of how a degenerative mental disease affects people, relationships and dayto-day interactions. This theater-of-the-absurd presents the story of new neighbors who find out they share the last name Jones as well as other similarities none of them want to admit.

Presented in short scenes, this existential dark comedy uses non sequiturs, awkward give-and-takes, illogical patters and inappropriate outbursts—which serve to command the audience to take a leap of faith and embrace the crazy quirkiness. The reward is a fascinating delve into the hearts and minds of four people struggling with watching loved ones slip-sliding away—whether it be mentally, physically or emotionally.

Director Buck Busfield wisely engages four B Street regulars in this challenging play: Dave Pierini, Elisabeth Nunziato, Dana Brooke and John Lamb, all of whom already know how to gel as a team—working off and around each other in this dark dance of descending madness.

The four characters portrayed here may not always be likeable, but through strong performances they are memorable. And the scenes and dialogue may not always be logical, but if you fully give yourself up to the play’s quirks and cadences, you’ll find a funny, sad, strange and sweet story of life struggles.

JOIN OUR

TEAM WE ARE SEEKING A CREATIVE AND DEDICATED ART DIRECTOR TO JOIN OUR TEAM! Do you have a passionate, alt-weekly spirit? If so, we want you! The Art Director will contribute ideas as a member of the design team and editorial team, collaborate with writers, editors and the art direction team. You will be responsible for: cover design, story and supplement design, marketing and collateral as part of a creative team.This position requires conceptual thinking and a commitment to effective and creative design that tells a story.

FOR COMPLETE JOB DESCRIPTION AND APPLICATION INSTRUCTIONS, VISIT WWW.NEWSREVIEW.COM/SACRAMENTO/JOBS

—PATTI ROBERTS The Realistic Joneses; 7 p.m. Thursday and Friday, 8 p.m. Saturday, 1 p.m. Sunday, 7 p.m. Tuesday and Wednesday; $15-$35.

B Street Theatre B3 Stage, 2711 B Street; (916) 443-5300; http://bstreettheatre.org. Through February 6.

01.14.16 | SN&R | 33

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1

BY JIM LANE

The movie’s hero is Norm (voice by Rob Schneider), a polar bear living above Canada’s Arctic Circle. Norm is supposedly the heir apparent We’re in the January doldrums, when the studios dump to the title of King of the North, despite his inability on the market the movies they have no great faith in. to hunt the seals his species preys on.

And just as 2015 went out with the whimper of The When a movie crew shows up with a model Good Dinosaur, 2016 comes in with an even more home to shoot a commercial for Arctic condos, pathetic thud by the name of Norm of the North.

Norm sees the threat to his environment. With his There are two differences between these duds. little lemming pals (a trio of clowns jabbering in First, The Good Dinosaur evoked a feeling of Pixarsqueaky gibberish in a transparent attempt to siphon how-could-you, while Norm comes from a group of off the fan base of Despicable Me’s Minions), unknowns from whom (with good reason) nothing much Norm decides to hitch a ride back to New York and was expected. And second, The Good Dinosaur at least confront the would-be despoiler of the Arctic, an evil had the stunning backgrounds and textured developer named (with this movie’s idea of animation at which Pixar always excels. irony) Mr. Greene, and voiced by Ken Norm of the North’s animation is cheesy Norm Jeong as if he’s halfway through a and gimcrack; there are commercials three-day caffeine binge. ’s of the North on the Cartoon Network with more In New York, Norm is animation is cheesy style and visual depth. mistaken for an actor in a bear Norm is written by Daniel and gimcrack; there suit due to his ability to “speak Altiere, Steven Altiere and human,” and he becomes a are commercials on the Malcolm T. Goldman. This trio media celebrity.

Cartoon Network with is to be congratulated for a certain As Dave Barry would say, economy: usually it takes a crew more style and I am not making this up; I can of at least six writers who didn’t scarcely believe that anybody visual depth. collaborate and never met to concoct did. Norm of the North has no real such a shapeless mess. The filmography story, just a fuzzy environmentalist of the two Altieres consists of a smattering hook (polar bears!) and a mad rush of of TV shows and direct-to-videos with titles like warmed-over ideas from slightly better movies Scooby Doo! Curse of the Lake Monster and Beethoven’s (the lemming Minions, dance numbers like the Christmas Adventure. Goldman’s only credit is Norm, so penguins in Happy Feet) thrown at us in a desperhis career has nowhere to go but up. ate hope that something will stick.

Director Trevor Wall has a résumé slightly fuller Enough. With any luck, Norm of the North than Norm’s writers, but one that’s depressingly will be forgotten in two weeks. Personally, I’m reminiscent of those for the crew behind The Good starting now. Ω Dinosaur: art department work, animation and episode direction on various cartoon series stretching back to 1997. Like The Good Dinosaur’s writers and director, Wall was not ready for the big time; indeed, Norm was originally slated to go straight to video before someone at Lionsgate got the idea to divert it to a few thousand POOR FAIR GOOD VERY EXCELLENT GOOD theaters on its way to the DVD bargain bin.

1 2 3 4 5

FILM CLIPS

2

Concussion

In this blandly efficient biopic from writer-director Peter Landesman (Parkland), Will Smith dials down his energy level to play Bennet Omalu, the Nigerian-born forensic pathologist (and current UC Davis professor) whose groundbreaking study on long-term brain trauma in football players got challenged and suppressed by the NFL. On a purely thematic level, Concussion fits nicely with the documentaries Happy Valley and The Hunting Ground as the final third in a football-is-the-root-of-all-evil trilogy, but as a drama it’s dead-eyed and unresponsive. Smith gives a fine lead performance, peeling away his usual affectations to expose his natural charm, but Omalu never becomes a fully developed character. The wonderful Gugu Mbatha-Raw is totally wasted as Omalu’s wife, but there are solid supporting turns from Albert Brooks and David Morse, among others. D.B.

2

Daddy’s Home

A straight-arrow, earnest and well-meaning but slightly dull stepfather (Will Ferrell) finds his cozy life turned insideout when his wife’s freewheeling bad-boy ex-husband (Mark Wahlberg) blows into town, dazzling the kids and making stepdad look even duller. The visit escalates into a testosteronepowered pissing contest, with each man trying to out-alpha-male the other. The script by Brian Burns, John Morris and director Sean Anders has promise, and Anders grapples with a good cast (including Linda Cardellini as Ferrell’s wife, Thomas Haden Church as his boss and Hannibal Buress as a freeloading handyman). There are a few good laughs scattered about, but with these stars it should have been a lot funnier—and Thomas Haden Church shouldn’t have gotten most of the funniest lines. J.L.

2

The Danish Girl

Director Tom Hooper and writer Lucinda Coxon present a measured adaptation of David Ebershoff’s novel, which fictionalized the true story of Lili Elbe (Eddie Redmayne)—born Einar Magnus Andreas Wegener—who in 1930 became one of the first persons, maybe the very first, to undergo gender reassignment surgery.

The movie focuses on the understandably complex relationship between Wegener/Elbe and his/her wife Gerda (Alicia Vikander), and Redmayne and Vikander share an earnest screen rapport. Hooper and Coxon honor Elbe (who died in 1931 from complications of her fourth and final surgery) as a pioneer of the transgender movement, but reverent as the movie is, it’s also rather dreary—the kind of embalmed, oversolemn opus where the actors whisper their lines slowly, one word at a time. J.L.

2

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The Big Short

Director and co-screenwriter Adam McKay (Step Brothers) bungles a great opportunity to savage the architects of the 2008 financial crisis in The Big Short, wasting an A-list ensemble cast in the process. Steve Carell, Brad Pitt, Christian Bale and Ryan Gosling play various tenuously related members of the finance industry, men who made made a killing by betting against the housing market, which at that point had superficially swelled to record highs.

All of the elements are in place for a lacerating satire, but almost every aesthetic choice in the film is bad, from the U-Turn-era Oliver Stone visuals to Carell’s sketch-comedy performance to the cheeky cutaways where Selena Gomez and Anthony Bourdain explain complex financial concepts. After a brutal opening half, it finally settles into a groove, and there’s a queasy charge in watching a credit-drunk America walking towards that cliff’s edge, but not enough to save the film. D.B.

3

STILL SMOKIN’

BY DANIEL BARNES & JIM LANE

The Forest

A young American (Natalie Dormer) makes an emergency trip to Japan when she learns that her twin sister has disappeared into a mysterious forest at the foot of Mt. Fuji where people reportedly go to commit

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Much like the previous collaboration of director Alejandro González Iñárritu and cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki, last year’s Best Picture winner Birdman, the gruesome adventure The Revenant is heavy on visual gimmickry and pulses with an aggravating energy, but also feels strangely empty and unnecessary. Leonardo DiCaprio clearly suffers for his art here, whether submerging himself in ice cold water or climbing inside of a horse carcass for warmth, but although the film works as a visceral experience, on the whole it’s a frustrating mess. There are is a change jar of messages regarding the pitiless beauty of nature and the savagery of man, but Iñárritu only knows how to lay it on thick, so it amounts to a lot of puffed-up finger-wagging. More than anything, Iñárritu excels at hectoring and exhausting his audience, and The Revenant is no exception—he’s good at grinding you to a nub, and not much else. D.B.

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’14 suicide—and sometimes to even worse fates.

People who go to the movies to see this kind of malarkey may not notice it, but Dormer gives a nicely layered double performance as both twins—at least for the first hour or so, before the cheap scares and nonsense take over—she so clearly distinguishes between the sisters that giving them different hair colors was hardly necessary. Otherwise, however, the movie is pretty much a dead loss. The script

by Nick Antosca, Sarah Cornwell and Ben Ketai is muddled with red herrings about irrelevant points, and Jason Zada’s fumbling direction clears up nothing. J.L.

5

The Hateful Eight

Quentin Tarantino’s masterful Western/ murder-mystery hybrid The Hateful Eight is getting a lot of attention due to its limited, “road show” presentation, a three-hour theatrical experience projected on 70 mm film, with an overture of Ennio Morricone’s score and a 12-minute intermission. Therefore, audiences may be surprised that the widescreen photography in The Hateful Eight is much more focused on the contours of a single interior space than on wide-open exterior spaces. Long-time Tarantino leading man Samuel L. Jackson stars as Major Marquis Warren, a merciless bounty hunter in post-Civil War-era Wyoming waiting out a blizzard with a den of scoundrels (including Kurt Russell, Tim Roth and Bruce Dern), all of whom seem to be concealing a secret. The first half is nearly perfect, a slow build of pinprick tension, and while the second half gets a little repetitive, it’s also where the brilliant Jennifer Jason Leigh is at her no-holds-barred, bloodsoaked best. D.B.

2

Joy

Yikes. Silver Linings Playbook and American Hustle director David O. Russell reassembles much of his stock company (Jennifer Lawrence, Bradley Cooper, Robert De Niro) and most of his stock mannerisms (Scorseseian camera moves and song cues, nonsensical exuberance) for this extremely loose biopic about the inventor of the Miracle Mop. Joy is all forced smiles—it feels like an album made by a band that should have broken up years ago, just a rambling and incoherent series of unmotivated

actions and overemphatic gestures. Everyone gets points for gusto, especially Lawrence as a single mother holding together her wacky family while navigating a booby-trapped business world, but every scene feels like an undirected rehearsal, so the actors are left to screech their way through two hours of face-palming embarrassment. I never imagined I could dislike Isabella Rossellini in anything, but here we are. D.B.

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Point Break

An FBI trainee (Luke Bracey) calls upon his past as an extreme-sports athlete to infiltrate a gang of thieves executing a series of ultra-daredevil robberies. Yet another remake that nobody needed, this one rehashes the 1991 movie that starred Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze. It’s just as awful as it sounds. Back in ’91 director Kathryn Bigelow made the best of a bad situation (i.e., a birdbrained script); this time, Kurt Wimmer’s script is even worse, and as for director Ericson Core—well, he’s no Kathryn Bigelow. There are more and bigger action scenes than before, but they’re not better. The surfing and skydiving the first time around may look tame in 2015, but in 1991 at least we knew somebody actually did it. Nowadays, CGI has made us all jaded, and we can’t be so sure. J.L.

4

Star Wars: Episode VII– The Force Awakens

“Luke Skywalker has disappeared.” With those four words, judiciously chosen by director J.J. Abrams to begin the opening crawl of his hotly anticipated Episode VII, the Star Wars franchise reorients itself in the land of things that people give a rat’s ass about. There’s nothing about trade embargoes or tariffs, nothing about filibusters in the Galactic Senate. No parliamentary procedure bullshit at all, just a terse and mysterious plot setup largely focused on characters you care about. This is not a groundbreaking approach, but it’s sensible, which is groundbreaking in its own way compared to the nightmarish self-absorption and fan disservice of the prequels. The infantile fussiness of the prequels flattened the Star Wars universe to the point of discouraging imagination, but The Force Awakens turns it back into a tactile and dimensional cinematic world. It’s a real Star Wars movie; it’s just not a great Star Wars movie. D.B.

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Time out of mind Reno’s Jelly Bread logs miles—and milestones

BY EDDIE JORGENSEN

“It’s tough since we don’t have a publicist like many other acts our size,” said Berry.

At its CD release show in October, the band drew a capacity crowd in Reno at the Nugget Casino showroom, something Berry calls a “huge” moment for Jelly Bread.

“That was a huge hometown show for us since the room holds 700 and they ended up opening the upstairs [room],” Berry said.

Come on, guys. Time to hit the road.

Additionally, Jelly Bread’s been prolific on the road—not just when it comes to touring but also creativity.

The five-piece Jelly Bread—just like its name The band started working on its latest connotes—crafts music with a sound that’s altoalbum, 2015’s Here, There, and Everywhere, in gether sweet and sticky. Over the years, the Reno December 2014—but so much came before and band’s hybrid of funk, soul, rock and country (and after that. nearly everything in between) has garnered the “This album was pretty much recorded on the band a devoted following. road. Thus, [its] title,” Berry said.

For the last few years, the band has toured the “We’ve played nearly 200 shows over the last greater United States playing virtually any venue two years and did 12,000 miles in six weeks in that will host it—festivals, nightclubs, bars, etc.— 2015 before it came out,” he added. becoming a veritable headliner in the process.

They recorded songs last February at Jelly Bread stops in Sacramento in an Iowa studio during a break from support of its latest album on Friday shows; some vocals were done in While night at Harlow’s Nightclub & Maryland.

Restaurant.

Jelly Bread’s The band is already thinkGuitarist-singer Dave Berry ing about its next recording— enjoyed the first started the group with sort of. The days and nights success that’s come drummer Cliff Porter about needed are once again a big seven years ago, slowly adding with longevity and consideration. more members into the mix.

“We have some ideas but, an exhausting road Today, the current roster also unfortunately, as much as we regimen, it hasn’t includes Sacramento native have been working, we don’t Sean Lehe on guitar, Jeremy been easy. have much time to rehearse,” Hunt on bass and Eric Matlock on Berry said. keyboards and organ.

“If all goes as planned, we’ll be Over the years, Berry said in a recent visiting Sean’s family cabin on the North interview, this ever-growing lineup has shaped Coast to start recording again.” its sound.

In other words, time to hit the road again. Ω “When Cliff and I first played together, all the music we played was my stuff. Since Eric joined up, he’s been bringing in his own songs.”

Check out Jelly Bread at 10 p.m. Friday, January 15, at Harlow’s While the band’s enjoyed the success that’s Restaurant & Nightclub, 2708 J Street. Tickets are $10. Learn more at come with longevity and an exhausting road regiwww.jellybread.net. men, he adds, it hasn’t been easy. Booking and promotion takes up a big chunk of scheduling.

PHOTO BY GARY CALICOTT

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Changes and sonic cinema

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project-window-witness raps with interstellar visions. Duckwrth’s eccentricities amalgamated the evening. He pushed the street perspectives that Chuuwee kicks, then switched gears into raps of hovercrafts and hoverboards.

No looking back on 2015 for rap in Sacramento. The headlines of shootings outside rap shows and the cyclical—and always racial— pushback of scrutinizing an entire scene for the acts of individuals made events like Transition scarce.

A line of black youth outside Sol Collective on a Sunday night at 7 p.m. led to no police lights lit outside the venue. No shots fired. In fact, no mean-mugging or misunderstandings, and no egos. If how you start a new year is an indication of the months to come, Sacramento is on its good start. Lit for 2016.

—BLAKE GILLESPIE

—JANELLE BITKER jan el l e b @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

GO TO WWW.NEWSREVIEW.COM AND SIGN UP TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN

Cinematic: There’s something very special about live music, and there’s something very special about going to the movies. For the first time, the Mondavi Center is uniting the two art forms into what will likely be a very special Film + Music series.

It kicks off Friday, January 15, with a screening of Carl Theodor Dreyer’s 1928 silent film La Passion de Jeanne d’Arc, which is generally considered a masterpiece. British a cappella group the Orlando Consort will provide the soundtrack, a selection of songs from the time of Joan of Arc’s life.

Three more events follow, and each is radically unique. There’s a 1920s horror flick (The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari) paired with an organist (Cameron Carpenter); a French cartoon (The Triplets of Belleville) paired with hot jazz (Benoît Charest’s Le Terrible Orchestre de Belleville); and a beloved science fiction movie (E.T.) paired with a grand orchestra (the San Francisco Symphony).

The series concludes in March and ticket prices vary as much as the film genres. On some nights, general admission starts at $20. For the grand E.T. finale, regular tickets cost $85.

More at www.mondaviarts.org.

SN&R IS OFFERING FREE STUFF, CONTESTS AND GIVEAWAYS

Completely lit: When local rapper and KHHM 103.5 radio personality Soosh*e performed “#CTIL” (translation: “come through it’s lit”), it arrived like an afterthought to the evening. “Take out your phone and text the person that bailed on you tonight,” he said prior to the song this past Sunday at Sol Collective.

“Text them: #CTIL.” If only he’d taken the stage earlier, those thirsty hopefuls that responded wouldn’t have had to watch from the front window of Sol Collective as rapper after rapper blessed the stage with inspired performances to a sold-out room. This was #Transition2016.

Now in its fifth year, Transition celebrates Sacramento hip-hop as viewed through the mind of local producer and event founder Ru AreYou. Transition arrives as an invitation to take one last look back, but ultimately move ahead.

Performances by DLRN, Stevie Nader, Soosh*e and Chuuwee did just that.

Set staples neared retirement as unreleased material was tested.

Chuuwee burned quick and relentless, treating the stage like he wanted to carve an impression into the floor from his back-and-forth pacing.

Mostly performing from his 2015 record, The South Sac Mack, Chuuwee’s delivery and stamina are never at odds but instead display an athletic prowess on the mic. Soosh*e kept his hand on the pulse all night with “#CTIL” and later premiered his new single “This Gon’ Be My Year.” The new work was cut short from a power outage, but once power was restored, the second run through took it to a higher level. An early set by JustKristofer introduced an unsung energy in the scene, at least on my radar. The torch was passed from set to set with few faults, putting the pressure on lone out-of-towner Duckwrth.

There is another Duckworth. By that I mean there is Compton’s heir born Kendrick Lamar Duckworth, and then there is Duckwrth hailing from south central Los Angeles but currently living in San Francisco.

The two share more than a namesake. Each does not fit the archetype of their origin. In Duckwrth’s case it’s his hesher-chic and dreadlocks, his rap style juxtaposing

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Sacramento News and Review 01-14-16.indd 1

01.14.16 | SN&R | 37 1/11/16 2:39 PM

14 T HU

15 FRI

15 FRI

16 SAT

Battalion of Saints

Whiskey & Stitches

There Is No Mountain

Points North

PRESS CLUB, 8 P.M., $12

HARLOW’S RESTAURANT & NIGHTCLUB, 6 P.M., $8-$10

The last time I saw Battalion of Saints in Sac, one of the guitarists wore a Bella Vista High School football shirt. I dunno if that means he actually lived here or if HARDCORE it was a lucky thrift store pull, but either way, it somehow made me appreciate the band’s old-school, raging, nihilistic hardcore a little bit more. If you’re looking for hardcore the way they used to do it, without the “dark” or the noise or the whatever else smart, angry people are into these days, this is the show for you. Insane ragers Scalped and the local Cross Class also play. 2030 P Street, www.facebook.com/ events/1641603742754517.

—ANTHONY SIINO

The sounds of old-timey whiskey bars fused with Irish folk-punk laments and four-on-the-floor rock beats make Whiskey & Stitches’ music perfect for slapping the knee whilst hoisting a mug.

The group’s vocals are forlorn and raspy, with drawn-out, ruminating notes that sound like men at peace with—or even reveling in—the intricacies of sorrow. The band is going to be playing IRISH ROCK at Irishpalooza this year along with friends One-Eyed Reilly and the Pikeys, so everyone can come join in on its perfect blend of lively and bittersweet. 2708 J Street, www.facebook.com/ Whiskey-and-Stitches-119867656932.

NAKED LOUNGE, 8 P.M. $5

HARLOW’S RESTAURANT & NIGHTCLUB, 5 P.M., $20

Most bands that have married couples in them tend to create a sound with gorgeous harmonies. I’m thinking of Yo La Tengo, Mates of State. Portland’s There Is No Mountain, which is, like early Mates INDIE of State, strictly a two-piece, creates something a little different. It’s dark, eerie and unsettling. The couple evokes a certain sense of minimalism, but between the nuanced, dynamic songwriting, the spooky harmonies and worldbeat influence, they really fill the songs out and create something truly unique. 1111 H Street, www. thereisnomountain.com.

—AARON CARNES

Enjoy guitar-driven rock? Like playing air guitar, bass and drums? As luck would have it, the Bay Area’s own Points North— Eric Barnett (guitar), Uriah Duffy (bass) and Kevin Aiello (drums)—will play a proper show in the Sacramento Valley, opening for bassist extraordinaire Stu Hamm.

The trio released a self-titled album on Magna Carta earlier last year—a wonderful collection of INSTRUMENTAL ROCK hard rockers, instrumental ballads (see the magnificent “Child’s Play” for reference) and much more. Come early and get a spot to have your doors blown off. 2708 J Street, www.pointsnorthband.com.

—AMY BEE

—EDDIE JORGENSEN

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NO LABEL, NO MANAGEMENT, NO PROBLEM.

16 SAT

16 SAT

18 MON

20 W ED

2 Chainz

Separate Spines

Dante Elephante

Mondo Drag

ACE OF SPADES, 6:30 P.M., $44.50

THIRD SPACE ART COLLECTIVE, 8 P.M., $5

Drake, Kanye, Kendrick Lamar, ASAP Rocky—Grammy Award-nominated rapper 2 Chainz collaborates with them all. But when he’s not on stage slingin’ rhymes, he’s operating the T.R.U. Foundation to help those in need with education, money management and job readiness. He also recently raked in more than $2 million in RAP sales last Christmas by hopping on the ugly-Christmas-sweater trend with his “Dabbin’ Santa” rendition. At this concert, diehard hip-hop fans can also opt for a $150 VIP ticket, which comes with early access, a poster, a T-shirt, a photo with 2 Chainz and even food table access. 1417 R Street, www.2chainz.com.

THIRD SPACE ART COLLECTIVE, 7 P.M., $5

Separate Spines are full of indie ambition.

No label, no management, no problem.

Even the venues Separate Spines seeks out are living rooms and art spaces with no age requirements and only enough legroom for dueling drum kits and a keyboard stand. The local electronica group is self-releasing its Voli EP and booking its own corresponding Northern California tour of release shows. If you can’t locate Thursday’s ELECTRO POP secret Midtown house show, there’s the far more space-friendly Third Space Art Collective show in Davis on Saturday. 946 Olive Drive in Davis, www.facebook.com/separatespines.

—STEPH RODRIGUEZ

PRESS CLUB, 8 P.M., NO COVER

You can almost hear the waves in Dante Elephante’s sunny, surf-inflected rock.

The Santa Barbara-born indie band crafts up-tempo tunes with sweet harmonies, a ’90s aesthetic and bright guitar lines.

But thematically, there’s a general, poetic mundanity that can only come from a suburban upbringing. Sure enough, singersongwriter Ruben Zarate grew up in a small, bland and overwhelmingly white town, where he allegedly got INDIE ROCK pulled over 16 times over the course of one year because his car had tinted windows. Said car was, coincidentally, a Suburban. 946 Olive Drive in Davis, www.facebook.com/DanteElephante.

—BLAKE GILLESPIE

One gets the impression that psychedelic rock band Mondo Drag was hatched fully grown in an Oakland Hills garage at some point in the ’70s, and the PSYCH ROCK five-piece just sat around for a few decades, somehow preserved, re-emerging in 2010 to bust out some tunes that are Black-Sabbath meets Tame Impala—trippy dippy, yet still firmly rock ’n’ roll. On the 26th of next month, the band will release its next album, The Occultation of Light, on EasyRider Records, so showgoers can expect to hear the forthcoming material. Fellow Oakland psych-pop band Sugar Candy Mountain opens up. 2030 P Street, www.mondodrag.com.

—JANELLE BITKER

—DEENA DREWIS

2708 J Street Sacramento, CA 916.441.4693 www.harlows.com

LIVE MUSIC

VOTED BEST BAR IN ROSEVILLE! 2015 -PRESS TRIBUNE

1/14 7PM $12ADv

Cory Morrow

JAN 15 SKIPPY & THE BOWL JUNKIES JAN 16 THE HILL IN MIND

1/16 9:30PM $20ADv

dead prez

BUCK FOrD

JAN 22 BRIAN ROGERS JAN 23 DENVER J

Coming Soon

1/13 8PM $14

MIke dIllon Band / lIl’ sMokIes

1/15 6PM $8ADv

JAN 30 LEGAL ADDICTION FEB 05 SCOTTY VOX FEB 06 LIZANO

IrIshpalooza:

FeaturIng whIskey and stItChes, the pIkeys, one eyed reIlly

FEB 12 CALLIE CROFTS & ROBERT GILLIES

1/17 5PM $20ADv

Jd MCpherson HONEyHONEy

FEB 13 HEARTBREAK TIME MACHINE 1/17 9:30PM $20ADv

FEB 19 STILLWOOD SAGES FEB 26 ISLAND OF BLACK & WHITE 27 BEERS ON DRAFT TRIVIA MONDAYS @ 6:30PM OPEN MIC WEDNESDAYS SIGN-UPS @ 7:30PM PINT NIGHT MONDAYS 5-8PM

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1/15 9:30PM $10

Jelly Bread’s Cd release show IDEA TEAM

1/16 5PM $20

stu haMM Band

the lunIz BIG OMEEzy

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the easy leaves wINTEr wESTErN FOrMAL

01/22-23 Tainted Love 01/26 Talib Kweli 01/28 Led Kaapana 01/29 Night of Flamenco 01/29 Abney Park / Diego’s Umbrella 01/30 Mania: The Live Beatles Experience 01/30 Peace Killers 02/02 Kyle 02/03 The Motet / Sofistafunk 02/05 Joy & Madness 02/06 Steelin’ Dan 02/06 Some Fear None 02/12 Glen Phillips 02/12 Crywolf 02/13 Foreverland 02/19 ALO / Baskery 02/21 Scarface 02/23 The Infamous Stringdusters Nicki Bluhm / Della Mae 02/26 David Lindley 01.14.16 | SN&R | 39

THURSDAY 1/14

FRIDAY 1/15

SATURDAY 1/16

#TBT and 5-card stud, 8pm, call for cover

Fabulous and Gay Fridays, 9pm, call for cover

Spectacular Saturdays, 9pm, call for cover

SKIPPY AND THE BOWL JUNKIES, 9:30pm, call for cover

THE HILL IN MIND, 9:30pm, call for cover

WURD PLAY, JEMMEZZY BABE, TYWN, KLAIBOYZ; 9pm, call for cover

Third annual Cali Connected Show, 9pm, call for cover

THE BOARDWALK

EZALE, 7pm, $15-$30

MICKEY ZOBEL, 7pm, $15-$18

CENTER FOR THE ARTS

Wild & Scenic Film Festival, 7pm, call for cover

Wild & Scenic Film Festival, 10am, call for cover

COUNTRY CLUB SALOON

DYLAN CRAWFORD, ANDREW FYLLING; 5pm; THIRD STONE BLUE, 9pm

BADLANDS

2003 K St., (916) 448-8790

BAR 101 List your event!

Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo, and a link to your website. Go to www.newsreview.com/calendar and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

101 Main St., Roseville; (916) 774-0505

BLUE LAMP

1400 Alhambra, (916) 455-3400

BRZOWSKI, DJ Halo, CORINA CORINA; 9pm, call for cover

9426 Greenback Ln., Orangevale; (916) 988-9247 314 W. Main St., Grass Valley; (530) 274-8384 4007 Taylor Rd., Loomis; (916) 652-4007

Trivia Night, 6:30pm M, no cover; Open-mic night, 7:30pm W, no cover TSOL, 8pm, $13-$15

ZFGeezus drink release party, 5:30pm M, call for cover AUSTIN JONES, RUN 2 COVER; 6:30pm M, $15-$18

Wild & Scenic Film Festival, 9am, call for cover

Wednesday Night Movies with Sierra Club, 6:30pm, $3

594 Main St., Placerville; (530) 642-8481

DISTRICT 30

Dynasty with Oasis and Joseph 1, 10pm, call for cover

FACES

Everything Happens dancing and karaoke, 9pm, call for cover

Absolut Fridays dance party, 9pm, $5-$10

Party Time dance party with Sequin Saturdays drag show at 9:30pm, $5-$12

FOX & GOOSE

STEVE MACLANE, 8pm, no cover

ADAM BLOCK, STEVE KOTAREK; 9pm, $5

HANS & THE HOT MESS, AMY BLEU; 9pm, $5

GOLDFIELD TRADING POST

Line dancing lessons, call for time and cover

MARK MCKAY, 9pm, $5

Country DJ dancing, call for time and cover

POPARAZZI, 9pm, $5

POP FICTION, 9pm, $7

Irishpalooza, 6pm, $8-$10; JELLY BREAD, IDEA TEAM; 10pm, $10

STU HAMM, POINTS NORTH; 6:30pm, $20; DEAD PREZ, 10pm, $20-$25

2000 K St., (916) 448-7798

Hey local bands!

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 1/18-1/20 Big Mondays happy hour all night, M; Karaoke, Tu; Trapicana, W

THE COZMIC CAFE 1016 K St., (916) 737-5770

Want to be a hot show?

Mail photos to Calendar Editor, SN&R, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815 or email it to sactocalendar@ newsreview.com. Be sure to include date, time, location and cost of upcoming shows.

SUNDAY 1/17 Sunday Tea Dance and Beer Bust, 4pm, call for cover

1001 R St., (916) 443-8825 1603 J St., (916) 476-5076

HALFTIME BAR & GRILL

5681 Lonetree Blvd., Rocklin; (916) 626-6366

HARLOW’S

2708 J St., (916) 441-4693

CORY MORROW, BUCK FORD; 8pm, $12-$14

Sunday Mass with heated pool, drag show, 2pm, no cover

Open-mic, 7:30pm M; Pub quiz, 7pm Tu; All Vinyl Wednesdays, 6pm W, no cover B92.5 2nd anniversary show with MICHAEL RAY, 7pm, no cover

JD MCPHERSON, HONEYHONEY; 6pm; THE EASY LEAVES, THE LUNIZ, BIG OMEEZY; 10pm, $20-$25 8pm W, $10-$12 Record Club, M; Cactus Pete’s 78 RPM Record Roundup, 8pm Tu

2565 Franklin Blvd., (916) 455-1331 1414 16th St., (916) 441-3931

MIDTOWN BARFLY

1119 21st St., (916) 549-2779

Open-mic night, M, call for time and cover Trivia night, 7:30pm Tu; Bingo, 1pm W

THE HIDEAWAY BAR & GRILL LUNA’S CAFE & JUICE BAR

EDM and karaoke, 9pm M, no cover; Latin night, 9pm Tu, $5

Joe Montoya’s Poetry Unplugged, 8pm, $2

Sit and Spin Poetry Slam, 8pm, no cover

Singer-songwriter open-mic, 3pm; BACK ALLEY BUZZARDS, 8pm, $5

Nebraska Mondays, 7:30pm M; Openmic comedy, 8pm Tu, Stab!, 8pm W

That Thing on Friday, 10pm, $5

Throwdown featuring Matt Lange, 10pm, $12-$20

Salsa Wednesday, 7:30pm W, $5

FRI, Jan 15th

Dancehall & saloon amazing fooD NFL FootbaLL pLayoFF speciaLs ReseRve youR tabLe FoR the big game suNday Feb 7th pbR is iN towN Feb 5th & 6th with uLtimate pbR aFteR paRties at stoNey’s both Nights! spazmatics FRiday JaNuaRy 15th FRidays b 92.5 couNtRy Night wedNesdays KNci 18 & oveR coLLege Nights KaRaoKe FRoNt baR wed-suN Free dance leSSonS nightly

1320 Del paso blvD

Stoneyinn.com | 916.927.6023 40

|

SN&R

|

01.14.16

5-8PM • An Acoustic set with Dylan & Andrew 9pm • RocknRoll & Blues Covers from Third Stone Blue

SAT, Jan 16th

5-8PM • Alternative Cover Songs from Crop Dusters 9pm • DJ till close

Every nfl gameday

2 $ 00 7 $ 00 4 $ 00 4 $ 50

Bud Lt & Coors Pints Pitchers Sierra Nevada Pale Ale Pints Jameson, Muerto, Smirnoff

40 Beers on Tap

Over 40 whiskeys on hand Horshoes, Corn Hole and Giant Jenga!

916.652.4007

4007 Taylor Road, Loomis, CA countryclubsaloon.com

THURSDAY 1/14

FRIDAY 1/15

SATURDAY 1/16

NAKED LOUNGE DOWNTOWN

MARTIN PURTILL, ALDEN KNIGHT, SAM SHARP; 8:30pm, $5

NOAH NELSON, THE KELPS; 8:30pm, $5

NAKED NATHAN, RICH CORPORATION, DICK LARSON; 8:30pm, $8

Naked Lounge Quintet, 8:30pm M; CITY MURAL, 8:30pm W, $5

OLD IRONSIDES

THUNDER CHIEF, BANDMASTER RUCKUS; 8pm, $5

MAUD’DIB, GHOST TOWN REBELLION, SAGES; 9pm, $6

Lipstick: A Tribute to David Bowie, 9pm, $5

Guest chefs serve $5 plates, M; Karaoke, 9pm Tu; Open-mic, 9pm W

1111 H St., (916) 443-1927

1901 10th St., (916) 442-3504

ON THE Y

SUNDAY 1/17

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 1/18-1/20

BOMBS OVERHEAD, CROTALUS, OSTRACIZED, NEXDEUS; 7pm, $6

670 Fulton Ave., (916) 487-3731

THE PALMS PLAYHOUSE

Pretty in Pink Party, 7:30pm Tu, call for cover LUCY KAPLANSKY, call for time and cover

13 Main St., Winters; (530) 795-1825

PISTOL PETE’S

JOHN MCCUTCHEON, call for time and cover

S.W.I.M., ZEN ARCADIA, RACE TO THE BOTTOM; 8pm, call for cover

140 Harrison Ave., Auburn; (530) 885-5093

POWERHOUSE PUB

KENNY FRYE, call for time and cover

THE PRESS CLUB

BATTALION OF SAINTS, SCALPED, CROSS CLASS; 8pm, $12

SHADY LADY SALOON

TYSON GRAFF TRIO, 9pm, no cover

614 Sutter St., Folsom; (916) 355-8586 2030 P St., (916) 444-7914 1409 R St., (916) 231-9121

A.K.A., call for time and cover

STARLITE LOUNGE

1517 21st St., (916) 704-0711

MIDNIGHT PLAYERS, call for time and cover

WEST COAST PLAYERS, 3pm, call for cover

Amy Bleu with Hans & the Hot Mess 9pm Saturday, $5.

Fox & Goose Punk folk

Live band karaoke, 8pm Tu, call for cover; 98 Rock Local Licks, 8pm W

Pop 40 dance party, 9pm, $5

MONDO DRAG, SUGAR CANDY MOUNTAIN; 8pm W, call for cover

ENOECA, 9pm, no cover

CURRENT PERSONAE, 9pm, no cover

ALEX JENKINS, 9pm, no cover

GENTLEMEN SURFER, ROLAND, REPTOID, MODERN MAN; 8pm, $7

ELLUSIVE FURS, GLUG, WEST COAST FURY, TAO TARIKI; 8pm, call for cover

SUPER UNISON, DOGS ON ACID, LITTLE TENTS; 8pm, $6

CIVIL YOUTH, KID COUSIN, PINDER BROTHERS, ABBY NORMAL; 8pm, $10

STONEY’S ROCKIN RODEO

Country DJ dancing, karaoke; call for time and cover

Country DJ dancing and karaoke, 8pm, $5

Country DJ dancing and karaoke, 8pm, $5

Country DJ dancing and karaoke, 8pm, $5

Country DJ dancing, 8:30pm W, $5-$10

TORCH CLUB

Acoustic open-mic, 5pm, no cover; MATT RAINEY, 9pm, $5

PAILER AND FRATIS, 5:30pm, no cover; KEVIN SELFE, 9pm, $8

MILLION DOLLAR GIVEAWAY, 5:30pm, no cover; SHARI PUORTO, 9pm, $8

Blues jam, 4pm, no cover; Front the Band karaoke, 8pm, no cover

LEIGH GUEST, 5pm Tu; Open-mic, 5pm W; RED’S BLUES, 9pm W, $5

CAFE COLONIAL

SUNDRESSED, PAPERTOWNS, CHASE HUGLIN, PITY PARTY; 8pm, $7

Cory’s Cult Cinema, 6pm M; Consolcade retro console gaming, 6pm Tu, no cover

THE COLONY

RAT DAMAGE, PINK BANDANA, SEVERANCE PACKAGE; 8pm, $7

1320 Del Paso Blvd., (916) 927-6023 904 15th St., (916) 443-2797

All ages, all the time ACE OF SPADES

STICK FIGURE, FORTUNATE YOUTH, KATASTRO; 7pm, $15-$18

1417 R St., (916) 448-3300

2CHAINZ, 6:30pm, $44.50-$150

3520 Stockton Blvd., (916) 736-3520 3512 Stockton Blvd., (916) 718-7055

SHINE

Jazz jam, 8pm, no cover

1400 E St., (916) 551-1400

Print ads start at $6/wk. www.newsreview.com or (916) 498-1234 ext. 5 Phone hours: M-F 9am-5pm.

All ads post online same day.

Deadlines for print: Line ad deadline: Monday 4pm Adult line ad deadline: Monday 4pm Display ad deadline: Friday 2pm

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TRAVIS LARSON BAND, DAVE LARUE BAND, MAGIC ELF; 8pm, $15

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Off the rails My boyfriend and I broke up ago three months ago. His parents were getting a divorce, and he felt like he had too much going on to be in a relationship. We were also fighting a lot because he kept pushing me away when I tried to help. After two months of not talking, I texted him to see what’s up and said we should hang out sometime. He said yeah, and to let him know when. I texted him last weekend and told him where I would be, but he didn’t text back until hours later. By then, I was home. Should I text him again about hanging out, or is he blowing me off? I don’t want to seem clingy, or like I’m trying to get back with him, although I wouldn’t mind if that happened. We’re both 17 years old, by the way.

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—Russ Tick You can thank the state Legislature for this. In the zeal to pass some sort of statewide comprehensive medical cannabis regulations last year, it somehow overlooked a provision stating that if cities and counties didn’t have their own laws in place by March 1, the state would assume control. So now we have a flurry of bans, and not just for growing pot. Cities are banning all sorts of cannabis business, from storefronts to delivery services.

This is ridiculous and an affront to the people who need cannabis as a medicine. These bans will also place an undue burden on cities and counties that allow cannabis businesses. The Legislature has already started to address this issue, but it may be too late.

Your best bet is to find out when your city council is meeting and go talk to them about their fear and shenanigans. Be polite. There is a group page on the Facebook (www.facebook.com/groups/ calicityandcountybanwatch) that has up-to-date listings for just about every city and county in the state.

I am fundamentally opposed to allowing cities and counties to ban legal cannabis businesses. Cities can’t ban bars or liquor stores or strip clubs. Marijuana is safer than just about anything in the world, so why do cities insist on treating it like a scourge or plague? Banning weed doesn’t make weed disappear, just like Banning weed keeping homeless people from begging does doesn’t make nothing to eliminate homelessness. Prohibition weed disappear. is never the answer. I hope this new Adult Use of Marijuana Act will do something to address this—and it looks like Facebook billionaire Sean Parker’s initiative will at least make the ballot seeing as he just put up $750,000 to start getting signatures— but it probably won’t. California is not Texas. We don’t need “dry” counties. We need statewide access to medical marijuana.

If you’re interested in getting involved, there are a few things on the calendar: On January 19, the California Cannabis Industry Association will hold a roundtable panel discussion about these new rules and proposals at the Crest Theatre before heading over to the state Capitol for a joint public hearing for multiple Assembly committees, where attendees will see an informational presentation called “Medical Marijuana Regulation: The Plan for Statewide Implementation.” Later that night, there will be a benefit concert featuring the Sons of Champlin. The discussion and the meeting are free, and you can get tickets for the concert here: www.calheritage.com/events.

Next month, the International Cannabis Business Conference returns to San Francisco on February 13 and 14. Andrew Sullivan, Tommy Chong, Jessica Billingsley and just about every ganjaprenuer ever will be at this event. Full disclosure: I will be the emcee for this event, but that just means it will be more entertaining. Find more information at http://internationalcbc.com. Ω Ngaio Bealum is a Sacramento comedian, activist and marijuana expert.

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BY ROB BREZSNY

FOR THE WEEK OF JANUARY 14, 2016 ARIES (March 21-April 19): You love autonomy.

You specialize in getting the freedom and sovereignty you require. You are naturally skilled at securing your independence from influences that might constrain your imagination and limit your self-expression. But here’s a sticking point: If you want the power to help shape group processes, you must give up some of your autonomy. In order to motivate allies to work toward shared goals, you need to practice the art of interdependence. The next test of your ability to do this is coming right up.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Nothing is really

work unless you’d rather be doing something else.” So said Taurus writer James M. Barrie (1860-1937), who created the Peter Pan stories.

Your challenge and invitation in the coming months is to increase the amount of time you spend that does not qualify as work. In fact, why don’t you see how much and how often you can indulge in outright play? There’ll be no better way to attract grace and generate good fortune.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Here’s my proposal:

Get in touch with your madness. And don’t tell me you have no madness. We all do. But listen: When I use the word “madness,” I don’t mean howling rage, hurtful lunacy, or out-of-control misbehavior. I’m calling on the experimental part of you that isn’t always polite and reasonable; the exuberant rebel who is attracted to wild truths rather than calming lies; the imaginative seeker who pines for adventures on the frontiers of your understanding. Now is an excellent time to tap into your inner maverick.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Here’s an excerpt

from Dorianne Laux’s poem “Antilamentation”: “Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read / to the end just to find out who killed the cook. / Not the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark, / in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication, not / the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot … Not the nights you called god names and cursed / your mother, sunk like a dog in the living room couch, / chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.” I’m giving you a good dose of Laux’s purifying rant in the hope that it will incite you to unleash your own. The time is favorable to summon an expanded appreciation for the twists and tweaks of your past, even those that seemed torturous in the moment.

Laux doesn’t regret the TV set she threw out the upstairs window or the stuck onion rings she had to sweep off the dirty restaurant floor, and I hope you will be that inclusive.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Modesty is the art of

drawing attention to whatever it is you’re being humble about,” said Alfred E. Neuman, the fictitious absurdist whose likeness often appears on the cover of Mad magazine. I’m here to tell you, Leo, that now is an excellent time to embody this aphorism. You are in a perfect position to launch a charm offensive by being outrageously unassuming. The less you brag about yourself and the more you praise other people, the better able you will be to get exactly what you want. Being unegotistical and non-narcissistic is an excellent strategy for serving your selfish needs.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “To go wrong in one’s own way is better than to go right in someone else’s,” says a character in Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s novel Crime and Punishment. I don’t agree with that idea 100 percent of the time.

Sometimes our wrong ideas are so delusional that we’re better off getting interrupted and redirected by the wiser insights of others.

But for the near future, Virgo, I recommend Dostoyevsky’s prescription for your use. One of your key principles will be to brandish your unique perspectives. Even if they’re not entirely right and reasonable, they will lead you to what you need to learn next.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “I love kissing,” testifies singer-songwriter Sufjan Stevens. “If I could kiss all day, I would. I can’t stop thinking about kissing.

I like kissing more than sex because there’s no end to it. You can kiss forever. You can kiss yourself into oblivion. You can kiss all over the body. You can kiss yourself to sleep.” I invite you to temporarily adopt this expansive obsession, Libra. The astrological omens suggest that you

need more sweet, slippery, sensual, tender interaction than usual. Why? Because it will unleash sweet, slippery, sensual, tender emotions and sweet, slippery, sensual, tender thoughts, all of which will awaken a surge of dormant creativity. Which you also need very much.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Everything has

been said before,” said French author André Gide, “but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again.” I am happy to inform you that you’re about to be temporarily exempt from this cynical formulation. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you will be able to drive home certain points that you have been trying to make over and over again for quite a while. The people who most need to hear them will finally be able to register your meaning. (P.S. This breakthrough will generate optimal results if you don’t gloat. Be grateful and understated.)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Do you want

more money, Sagittarius? Are there treasures you wish you could have, but you can’t afford them? Do any exciting experiences and lifeenhancing adventures remain off-limits because of limited resources? If your answer to any of these questions is yes, now would be an excellent time to formulate plans and take action to gather increased wealth. I don’t guarantee total success if you do, but I promise that your chance to make progress will be higher than usual. Cosmic tendencies are leaning in the direction of you getting richer quicker, and if you collaborate with those tendencies, financial magic could materialize.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “It’s a terrible

thing to wait until you’re ready,” proclaims actor Hugh Laurie. He goes even further: “No one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready.” His counsel is too extreme for my tastes. I believe that proper preparation is often essential. We’ve got to get educated about the challenges we want to take on. We need to develop at least some skills to help us master our beloved goals. On the other hand, it’s impossible to ever be perfectly prepared and educated and skilled. If you postpone your quantum leaps of faith until every contingency has been accounted for, you’ll never leap. Right now, Capricorn, Laurie’s view is good advice.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Fate has

transformed a part of your life that you didn’t feel ready to have transformed. I won’t offer my condolences, though, because I’ve guessed a secret that you don’t know about yet. The mythic fact, as I see it, is that whatever you imagine you have had to let go of will ultimately come back to you in a revised and revivified form—maybe sooner than you think. Endings and beginnings are weaving their mysteries together in unforeseen ways. Be receptive to enigmatic surprises.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Good news: Your

eagerness to think big is one of your superpowers.

Bad news: It’s also one of your liabilities. Although it enables you to see how everything fits together, it may cause you to overlook details about what’s undermining you. Good news: Your capacity for intense empathy is a healing balm for both others and yourself. At least potentially, it means you can be a genius of intimacy. Bad news: Your intense empathy can make you fall prey to the emotional manipulation of people with whom you empathize.

Good news: Your willingness to explore darkness is what makes your intelligence so profound. Bad news: But that’s also why you have to wrestle so fiercely with fear. Good news: In the next four weeks, the positive aspects of all the above qualities will be ascendant.

Paul Imagine (left) and wife Eve Imagine sell sex-positive toys in their Midtown shop.

PHOTO BY KEVIN CORTOPASSI

Sex sells Artist Paul Imagine has long been a sex toy aficionado. That’s why it made sense for the poster artist to open a shop with the help of wife Eve Imagine that combines his two favorite things: sex and art. The resulting boutique, Autonomous Love, is a well-lit, clean place that, at first glance, looks more like a candy shop than a spot to explore vibrators, dildos and organic lubes as well as band art, fliers and T-shirts. But that’s exactly what it is. The couple chatted with SN&R about the shop, which opened last October, and what it means to be sex-positive.

Why sex toys?

Paul Imagine: I always wanted to open something with my art, like an art gallery— but I realized that art doesn’t make money.

And sex does.

Paul: Hopefully!

Eve: We have always enjoyed and been totally inspired by and loved Good Vibrations and She Bop in Portland. I think it just seems like it’s part of our lifestyle to go in there and be stoked to see sex-positive, feminist [toys]. And Paul, specifically, would take a road trip and come home with a new fancy sex toy.

Paul: I would do art shows in Seattle and Portland, so I’d stop in Portland at She Bop.

So, a little souvenir of your trip …

You can call Rob Brezsny for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. Must be 18+. Touchtone phone required. Customer service (612) 373-9785. And don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at www.realastrology.com.

Paul: If I made money at the art show.

Eve: And over the years these things have just been getting more and more beautiful. They look like art and the silicone is so soft. They’re just fun. It’s also just this whole community-ish, sex-positive-ish thing. For me it’s always been about the community for it and for Paul it’s always been about …

The art?

Eve: Well, no, the sex. Well, the sex and the art. It’s a hobby for him, it’s fun.

Paul: It’s my two loves. I’ve always wanted to do something with my art. … I haven’t made money in the 25 years that I’ve been doing it, so I needed someplace to have my art permanently and also bring in other artists.

Did you pick the brains of other shop owners?

Paul: Yeah, all my sex-positive friends. The harnesses especially, the strap-ons, I talked to a lot of my lesbian and dominant friends about which ones were the best. I asked around, asked a lot of questions. I knew what we liked [but] I wanted to know what would sell in the shop. I don’t have a lot of room so I just have the best of the best. I wanted more of a boutique experience for shopping as opposed to a sleazy porn shop. I wanted something that was sex-positive.

Define “sex-positive.”

Paul: People who aren’t embarrassed by sex. Love sex and aren’t ashamed of it and have sex. (Laughs.)

Eve: For the shop it’s being open about it, educating people. Doesn’t matter what experience level you are. That’s a huge mission, just to be here for people. ... We just want to be a place that normalizes sex.

Best-sellers so far?

Paul: Probably the We-Vibe, a male-female couple vibrator; it operates by remote control and also has an app so you can run it off the iPhone. The app one is $129, the one with the remote is $179. They’re not cheap. I don’t have cheap toys.

They’re all quality and legit. There a lot of knockoffs, if you buy online you don’t know what you’re getting. They’re all body-safe materials, silicone, rechargeable. The

Je Joue cock ring—or “pleasure ring” if you want to be more newspaper friendly.

Definitely a best-seller, probably one of our best-selling toys because it’s one of our favorites so we talk it up.

What kind of customers have you had?

Paul: I’ve had the best customers; everybody’s been so great. Everyone who comes in—I don’t know if they’re coming in because they’re aware of quality toys but I’ve had some walk-ins where people come in and say, “I don’t know what I want” and I talk them through it. I get that as well as experienced people.

Eve: He’ll spend an hour to walk through the process to help them find something.

Some people come in, they just get stickers and art—that is something we offer that’s cheap, the stickers and T-shirts.

Do you think there’s a trend toward people being more openly sex-positive?

Paul: I think so. Sex is more accepted in bigger cities like San Francisco and Portland. I think Sacramento is just coming along. It’s still very conservative. All we have had is Goldie’s [Adult Superstore]—which is fine, I’m glad we have it … but we don’t have an adult shopping boutique where you can walk in and not feel sleazy. There’s no porn, there’s no weirdness. (Laughs.)

Eve: We want to make it so all populations feel comfortable—if you’re gay, if you’re kinky, if you’re straight. Whoever, whatever you are, this is your place. Ω

Visit Autonomous Love at 2419 J Street. Learn more at www.facebook.com/Autonomouslove and www.instagram.com/autonomouslove.

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